#BUT HE'S SO FUCKING MEAN IT'S SO FUNNY...WHAT ARE YOU YELLOW? GREEN? MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND ALREADY

[automatonknight]

FAILED AT ROLLING 💔💔💔💔

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two

“I’m really sorry,” Steve is saying before Eddie has the door fully open, but it makes Eddie smile. It feels like Steve has started saying ‘I’m sorry,’ instead of ‘hello’ as a matter of course.

It’s Sunday afternoon though, and Eddie isn’t cooking anything and Steve isn’t holding an empty plate, so Eddie has no clue what Steve could be sorry for this time.

“Could you come and help me with something? It’ll just take two moments.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie agrees easily, slipping on his adventure crocs and following Steve down the hall.

Eddie follows Steve into and then through his apartment into the small bedroom. It’s a two bed apartment, the same as Eddie’s. Eddie uses his spare room to store his guitars. He has a desk in there too; a place to write and paint his miniatures and do guitar maintenance.

It’s a nursery. It’s cute, animal themed. The ceiling is painted powder blue, which drops down onto the walls about a foot before ending in a neatly done scalloped edge. The walls are white, but have cloud shapes printed on them in the same blue. There are random tufts of painted grass popping up from the floor; some with flowers. The rocker and the other furniture, including crib and chest of drawers, are all painted the same green, and the blinds are green jungle, with elephants and big cats and monkeys hiding amongst the leaves. A lot of the soft things are yellow and white, and Eddie has not a fucking clue as to the sex of Steve’s pup, so he asks as much.

Steve smiles, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. I like surprises.”

“Huh. Well. I’m always the one shaking the gifts at Christmas, but I do love a surprise too. What did you need?”

“We have the fixings for the mobile there ready, but I clean forgot about it until now, and I’m too big to stretch up there. Didn’t do it at the time because we were moving furniture and I was frightened I’d break it.”

“Okay sure,” Eddie takes the dangly parts of the mobile; cute little moons and stars and sun shapes, and fixes it to the bit already attached to the ceiling. It’s nice, and easy to figure out, but it does hang low so he gets what Steve means.

He also sees why Steve can’t reach; he seems to have suddenly gotten even bigger over the last week, and he's also only been wearing these sort of loose shift dresses, like a blouse, a button up, and a tent had a horrendous love child.

He looks gorgeous though. Eddie always thought pregnancy must be pretty fucking miserable; your body betraying you almost. Needing to pee all the time, unreasonable hormones. Cravings. Morning sickness. Odd shit happening all over the place. Eddie always figured telling pregnant people that they’re ‘glowing’ was just a nice thing people said to make them feel better during what must be a pretty shitty nine months.

Not with Steve though. Steve’s actually glowing. Not like literally glowing but...he’s beautiful, and Eddie suddenly understands what all the fuss is about.

Steve clears his throat. Right. Right okay, Eddie’s creepy staring, “so I was going to make chicken parm again tonight, since I know you like it and it’s been a bit...do you maybe want to get out the apartment and come to another, slightly different, apartment?”

Steve laughs a little, looking at where his hands cradle his bump, before looking back up, cheeks pink, “I think I’d like that.”

Eddie’s laid the table as nice as he can. He snagged a little bunch of daisy looking things out of the garden and shoved them in a mug, just because he remembered Steve’s little daffodil.

He doesn’t own place mats, but he does dig out a table cloth he usually only uses for games night; it’s black, but it’s clean.

Steve settles himself at the table and Eddie goes and gets dinner, he can’t help but notice Steve shift in his seat, wincing.

“You okay?”

Steve hums, “been getting funny back pain, but it’s all normal. Could be anything really, just the weight of the baby, or maybe they are leaning on my sciatic nerve. It’s all fine. Nearly done now.”

Steve takes the first bite of his dinner and hums appreciatively. It makes Eddie warm inside, a little tickle of his brain releasing happy chemicals. Omega is being fed. Omega is safe and happy.

Eddie tells it to fuck off.

“So you’re due soon?” Which feels like he;s stating the obvious, Steve is the size of a tiny moon.

“Tomorrow.”

Eddie makes a noise, startled, then nearly chokes on a string of spaghetti, “excuse me,” he manages to get out, before drinking half his water, Steve looking half concerned and more than a little amused from the other side of the table. “Tomorrow?” Eddie asks weakly.

Steve nods, chewing and swallowing before he answers, “the due date is tomorrow, but it’s the norm really for first pups to go over that, even more normal with male Omega, don’t worry, it’s fine. Although it should be soon, I passed the mucus plug yesterday.”

Eddie nearly chokes again, “the what?” he tries his best not to sound too horrified.

“Oh. Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about the uhm, the kind of gross stuff.”

“No, no, of course it’s fine what is...uhm...that?” And Eddie is fully prepared to regret acquiring this cursed knowledge. He doesn’t even know what it is and he’s already eyeing his spaghetti sauce dubiously. For Steve though...he will learn about the gross stuff.

“Oh, well, when you’re pregnant you get sort of this...lump of...gacky stuff and blood. You don’t have periods when you’re pregnant usually, so it kind of protects everything from infection getting in and stuff like that.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out, blowing up his bangs, and makes himself eat his dinner normally, “fair enough, but that means you’re...kinda’ close?”

“Well, kinda’. Robin’s spending this morning with her girlfriend and then this afternoon sorting her place out. She’ll be over later, she’s moving in until the pups a week old or so, just make sure I’m okay.”

“She’s...a really good friend, right?” It warms Eddie to know Steve has someone like that in his life.

“Yeah...she’s been there with me through everything. Every appointment, all the classes, everything. Even when I decided I wanted to do this it was...it was right after yet another crappy breakup, you know. She could have said all the sensible things about maybe it's not the right time yet, or that I should...think about it. You know, all that things that would have been totally reasonable for her to say but I'd just...I’d just had enough of waiting and she said she’d support me whatever, and that was that. She’s the best.”

Steve shifts again, putting down his cutlery to try and stretch his back out, hissing with pain, “you sure you’re okay?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“Yeah, fine I think,” Steve bends forward then, gripping the edge of the table and breathing out harshly through his nose, “oh that felt weird.”

Eddie’s up and coming around the table before he can stop himself, hovering his hands, not sure if it’s okay to touch, “Steve?”

“I...oh. Oh gosh I’m so sorry Eddie,” Steve stands cautiously revealing a very clear wet patch on the seat.

“I...that’s fine,” Eddie squeaks out, “are you...is this. Is that…?”

“Yeah, pretty sure my water just broke. And I really wanted that chicken parm,” Steve sighs.

“I can make it again,” Eddie says reflexively, “kind of feel like there’s bigger things to think about what should- like can I help? What do we do?”

Eddie finds himself, very strangely, not panicking. Like, well, maybe a little, but not an uncontrollable amount. Which now he’s here that’s a really nice surprise.

“I’ll just call Robbie, and then will you walk me home?”

And Eddie had maybe had inappropriate thoughts about walking Steve home so he could steal a kiss, not whatever this is. But. Still. “Of course.”

Steve smiles at him with his phone next to his ear, “it’s go time Birdie. Oh, what was I supposed to say? Code red? The eagle is...leaving? I can’t remember, you couldn’t make your mind up about the-” Steve hisses, bending to lean on the table, “yep, yep, see you soon.”

Steve hangs up, telling Eddie she’s on her way as they walk down the hall, dinner abandoned on the table. Steve chooses to stand, walking little laps back and forth along the back of the couch, “is there anything I can do?”

“My bag and car seat are in the nursery, if you don’t mind grabbing those?” Eddie does, putting Steve’s things right by the door, “oh, and a towel, from the bathroom? I don’t want to make a mess in Rob’s car.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie grabs a bath towel from there, and puts it on top, just as Steve’s phone starts ringing.

Eddie can practically feel it when Steve tenses up, his scent turning bitter with distress. Despite what’s going on, Steve’s scent hadn’t changed at all until now, “your car won’t start?”

He sounds terrified.

“I. Yeah. Okay. I can wait I’ll- okay.”

“Okay?” Steve shakes his head, eyes suddenly wet, he looks like he’s biting back tears and Eddie can’t stop himself from going to him.

“She’s got to wait for Chrissy to get to her place and pick her up, then they’ll come over,” Eddie has to make this better. He has to.

“Okay, how about this, me and you go now, I’ll take you, and they can meet you there? That’ll make it faster right?”

“I mean, I’m not...I mean labor can take hours and hours, I’m being silly I just- Eddie I’m a bit scared. She was supposed to be here, it’s a bit too soon.”

They end up holding hands, which Eddie’s kind of thrilled about even if Steve is squeezing the life out of him, “would you feel better if you were waiting at the hospital?”

Steve bites his lip, clearly torn, “are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I’ll get my keys.”

Part Four

[toxic3mmy]

alex talking in spanish while fucking your brains out 😵‍💫

a tus ordenes jefe🫡

[ty for da request <33]

prompt: alex seducing you in two languages

warnings! smut!!

you woke up from a very intense dream. it was about alex and you getting really intimate and he decided to use a lot more spanish than usual. quite frankly, it really turned you on.

the way that he rolled his r’s, his tongue almost thick in his mouth as he spoke. the spanish nicknames and sexy talk was just delicious.

you got up and did your regular routine. you ate some breakfast, cleaned the house up, and then sat down to read one of your romance novels.

now that you think of it, you were reading this steamy book before bed and it’s probably what made you have that really good dream. your book had hispanic characters and the sexy main character was gushing in the spanish language.

he finally got the female character alone, painfully alone. he was cornering her and making her feel pent up.

reading this was definitely making you feel pent up, too. you ran your fingers down your chest and then your belly. you finally reached your panties which were just soaked. you suddenly came up with a brilliant plan.

you sat in front of your huge bedroom mirror on the wall. you sat completely naked, with a soft blanket only slightly covering your breasts and groin. you snapped a few pictures in that pose as well as some completely nude and sent them to alex with the text,

i’m feeling really lonely…

you smiled as you realized you did not have to wait long at all for a response. you saw the chat bubble typing and waited for your boyfriend to reply but nothing. you frowned at your phone and decided to get dressed.

you then decided to take a relaxing bath. you even set up a few candles on the tub and added foamy bubbles. you continued to read for about an hour and imagined yourself in the book getting seduced by alex.

the sound of your front door slamming shut had your breath caught in your throat. you stay absolutely still, in hopes that if it’s someone breaking in, they’ll leave quickly.

suddenly, you see alex in the restroom doorway and you can breathe again.

“you scared me.. i thought someone was in the house. what are you doing home so early from work?” you sat up a bit in the tub

“get out of the bath” he murmured with an almost angry expression on his face

“what?”

“i said,” he walked forward and grabbed your arm, pulling you up harshly “get the fuck out of the water”

“i-i”

“no, you don’t get to speak”

alex roughly led you to your bed and threw you on it with only a towel on

“you think this is acceptable?” he asked, pacing around the room

“do you think it’s okay to send me pictures like that while i’m at work? i had a huge fucking boner and i needed to do a presentation y/n. i couldn’t even speak clearly without thinking about you and it was too much. my boss sent me home early!”

you couldn’t help but let out a giggle muffled only by your hand.

“oh.. you think this is funny? let’s see, where’s that book you were reading” he walked back to the restroom to retrieve your novel

“spanish, huh? you mean to tell me that this filthy smut is what made you think you could send me nudes while i was working?” he examined your novel

“alex please… im really sorry about earlier”

“i won’t take that sorry apology. sluts like you deserve to be punished. what do you think?” he smiled and cradled your jaw in his hand

“do w-whatever you need to do..”

he then sat down on the bed next to you and reached out to run a finger down your cheek,

“remind me of your safe words”

“green if i want you to keep going, yellow if i need a pause, and red if i need you to stop immediately” you said a bit nervously

“good girl,” he grabbed your hair tightly in one hand and used his other to take his cock out of his pants, “put your mouth to good use and suck”

and you did exactly that. you took his shaft in one hand and sucked lightly at his tip, taking more of him in your mouth as your hand moved up and down.

“joder.. mm so good, gatita” he said, head thrown back in pleasure

you moaned around him, sending vibrations down his leaking dick. he couldn’t stop his hips from bucking up and his hand pushing your head lower, making you choke.

“you like that? quieres mas? mámame la como me gusta, zorra”

you didn’t answer. instead you quickened your pace and took him deep into your throat. after a few minutes of this, alex stopped you.

“s-shit.. i don’t want to cum yet.. take a break gatita” he said, letting you up for air

he took the rest of his clothes off and pulled your towel off of you

“que hermosa eres…” he said, crawling over you and softly kissing your lips. he deepened the kiss while playing with one of your perked up nipples. he kissed at your jaw and slowly moved lower.

he mouthed at your neck, sucking and nipping the skin there until a bruise was visible. he smiled at your whimpering and rolling of your hips into him. he continued lower and licked your nipple, your other breast being roughly pawed at with his free hand.

you were a moaning, wet mess underneath him. his chain dangling above you, almost as if it was taunting you.

“on your hands and knees, slut”

you propped yourself up for him, your ass and dripping pussy in full view for alex. he immediately grabbed at your ass and you felt the warmth of his tongue at your entrance.

“you feel so good” you moaned, biting at your arm harshly to muffle your sounds

a loud smacked echoed through the room and your ass stung

“didn’t i say you didn’t need to speak? this is your fucking punishment and you will not cum until i say you can. you do what i say, understood?”

you nodded and immediately felt a harder smack to your ass

“use your words, pinche zorra”

“i understand.. please alex..”

“shut the fuck up” he once again was at your hole, burying his face in your ass and pussy

he licked up and down and between your soaked folds. you gripped at the sheets and tried to resist the temptation of screaming his name. instead, you let your face fall into the mattress, your ass still in the air for him. you arched your back and fucked yourself onto his tongue.

“eres mi jugete, princesa. eres mia” he said before continuing to delve deeper into you, making you squirm like never before

your pussy was clenching around his tongue and he knew you were close. so he stopped. you let out a cry of despair as he wiped his face of your juices.

“you want to be disobedient? i’ll have to show you the consequences of that, gatita. es lo que mereces” he said as he positioned himself behind you, lazily pumping his still hard cock

“what’s your color, princesa?”

“green.. so so green” you were anxious for more of him

“my whore is so needy,” he laughed, teasingly sliding his tip over your hole “me tienes empapado en tus jugos, zorrita”

he slapped his cock on your clit, making you jump and cry out. you had tears running down your face. you felt so good

“te voy a llenar, princesa, te quiero llenar tan lentamente” his cock slowly entered you and you were struggling to stay quiet underneath him

your back was still arched for him as he grabbed both your arms and held them together behind your back

“es tu lesión.. tu castigo por ser desobediente” he purred as he pushed into you and you were so full and yet you still needed more

“mi zorra linda, mi putita.. fuck yourself on my cock” he whispered and you felt him so deep inside of you

his speed increased with every deep thrust. you moved your ass back, meeting his thrusts. his high pitched whimpers and moans were music to your ears

“puta madre, no sabes cuanto te necesitaba… tu cuerpo, tu alma.. todo es mio, zorrita” he continued to fuck into you, letting out small groans at every thrust

“te encanta cuando te cojo así? con tu culo al cielo y tu cara enterrada en el colchón? te ves maravillosa, gatita. mi zorra, te voy a usar hasta que aprendas que no me vuelves a desobedecer” he promised, now slowing his pace and holding your hips from behind, letting your arms free but you still kept them behind you

“estas tan apretada” he whimpers, out of breath now

“a-alex.. im close.. please?” you pleaded for release

“ruégame, zorra” he let out a breathy laugh

“por favor… i promise i won’t ever disobey you again, please! alexis, cojeme mas duro”

“por supuesto, zorrita” and he did, he fucked you faster and harder. he rolled his hips at a heavenly angle, making you cry out some more

“joder, estoy cerco, viene conmigo zorrita” he begged

he chased your highs until you both came together. he slowed his pace to a stop and pulled out of you, leaving you with an unbearable feeling of emptiness.

the two of you laid together and came down from your highs. alex grabbed the novel that started this all and he smiled,

“y/n? why is the main character’s name alexis??”

you quickly snatched the book from his hands and hid it behind you

“stop being mean!” you said, covering your face in embarrassment

“aw baby, you’re so naughty.. so filthy” he teased

“so what?! it’s literally the same as watching porn” you argued

“is this when i accuse you of cheating on me with the book alexis?” he smirked

“well… he does have long luscious hair and a bangin tan body…” you sighed dreamily

“hey! it’s not my fault i don’t tan! you know my skin just gets all red and sunburnt” he pouted

you couldn’t stop the smile that formed on your face, kissing him lovingly

“i actually am sorry for getting you sent home from work, but it’s not my fault i’m that sexy that some pics turned you on that much”

“says the one who gets horny off some words on paper” he teased back

“touché..”

“yeah, touché” alex smiled

[skylarsblue]

★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★

(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★

Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.

- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.

- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-

Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.

- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)

Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.

- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-

- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.

- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.

- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.

- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*

- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.

- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*

- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.

- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.

- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.

- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.

- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.

- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)

Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.

- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.

- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!

- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.

- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.

- (Modern au and suicide joke)

John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.

- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!

- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.

- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!

- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.

-

NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-

*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*

Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;

- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.

- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.

- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????

Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.

- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.

- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.

- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)

Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.

- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!

- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.

- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.

- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!

- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.

- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!

- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.

-

(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????

- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!

- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)

Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???

-

(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)

Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!

- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)

Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:

- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.

- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.

[no1frogfan]

Kaiju give me your number

Iwaizumi x gn reader

Word count: ~700

Tags & warnings: None

Notes: I was struck by a deeply silly idea tonight (don’t worry, it gets sillier!), so this is my first entry for the spooky sports collab hosted by the one and only @koushuwu! Check out the collab masterlist here! (Please forgive me, Mica! My original entry will be arriving some time in the future!)

The only warning you get is a muffled I’ll get it! before the door swings open. Standing inside is a shadowy figure, its vague spiky shape barely illuminated by the streetlights behind you, looking particularly ominous in contrast to the decidedly un-spooky R&B now thumping out into the quiet night.

You squint into the darkness. “Um…hello? I’ve got a delivery for-”

Suddenly, the shadow lunges forward.

You let out a scream, almost losing your balance as you lurch back a few steps. A hand (too leathery to be human) reaches out and…

…flicks on the porch light, almost blinding you.

“Hey! Turn it down I can't hear!”

You’re still blinking away the stars in your eyes when you see it — him. Them. Two of the firmest, cushiest pecs you have ever seen casting an actual shadow over a set of gorgeous abs, the skin smooth and soft, especially against the rough black scales covering his legs and arms.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the music. What did you say?”

Despite the absolutely stunning man in front of you, your brain somehow manages to make sense of what he’s saying.

“Um…I have a delivery for-” you glance down at the receipt “-for Hajime?”

“Wait, aren’t you…?”

He does a double take. Holy shit, it's actually you. You’re wearing the same helmet (black and covered in stickers) and — he checks behind you — that's the same bike! A sleek green one with bright yellow panniers.

“I’m looking for Hajime. Am I at the right place?”

You check the receipt again, leaning back to squint at the house number above the door. It’s partly to actually check if you’re at the right address, but mostly to calm down by looking at something other than a stranger dressed as the world’s most attractive lizard man. You didn’t even know you were into lizard men.

“That’s me. I’m Hajime.”

He reaches up and you track the flex of his biceps as he lifts the lizard mask off his head. Oh fuck. His face is handsome too, and a little bit familiar — maybe from around campus.

You must have been standing slack-jawed for too long because he glances down at his bare chest and blushes. “Sorry, I’m- my friends thought sexy Godzilla would be funny...”

Ah, that would explain the dorsal spines.

(It’s actually a little annoying how apologetic he seems, as if looking like that was something to be embarrassed about.)

Almost on cue, two more huge men crowd into the doorway. You guess these must be the friends he’s referring to because they’re dressed as what can only be described as sexy pieces of bread, one slathered with peanut butter and the other slathered with jelly.

“Sweet, food’s here!” Yells the sexy jelly man, reaching out to grab the bags from your hands.

The sexy peanut butter man pauses and looks suspiciously between both your embarrassed faces, scrutinizing you closely before something seems to dawn on him.

“Wait a minute…isn’t this that biker you crashed into?” He whirls on you. “Are you that biker?”

“Mattsun…” Iwaizumi warns.

He — Mattsun — gestures at Hajime. “Do you remember him? Last month? He wasn’t looking and walked right in front of you?”

Recognition flashes across your face and a cheeky grin grows on Mattsun’s. “I knew it.” He leans in conspiratorially. “You know, he won’t shut up about you, wants to take you home to really apologize if you know what I mean.”

Your eyes dart to Hajime. He wants to what? With you?

“Enough!”

Iwaizumi hurriedly shoves the other man back and stuffs the signed receipt into your hands.

“Sorry about him.”

A few excruciating seconds pass while you both stand awkwardly in the doorway. Right. Guess not. His friend was probably just messing with you…

“Well, thanks.”

You sneak one last furtive glance at that sexy Godzilla chest before turning to leave.

“Wait! Do you want to…come in for a drink? Or something?”

“Oh! I can’t…I’m working.”

You gesture vaguely to your left, toward the restaurant.

“Right, obviously, right, sorry. That was stupid.”

Another beat of silence, though this time it's probably more excruciating for him than for you.

"God you're hopeless." Mattsun’s head pops up over Hajime's shoulder. “What he means is can he get your number?”

[volivolition]

Ok, ok, rank all the skills from your favorite to least.

You can do this two ways:

* just a big tierlist with all of them (can also include the funky ones [limbic system, ancient reptilian brain and tie])

* or 4 tierlistes with all the types separated

(You can choose what you like more)

Good luck >:]c

OH THIS IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE IVE HAD THIS TIERLIST READY FOR A WEEK NOW HAKJSH <33

it must be said that i love all of them, even the ones on lower tiers. they're all so lovable in their own ways <33

limbic and reptilian brain are both in the blue tier after half light! and the tie would be in a space between yellow and green called "you are funny but im just not a tie kinda guy" hkjhg

EDIT: NOTES ON PLACEMENTS BELOW THE CUT!!

purple heart 💜 means ive got the gist down for their character study chapter in Swept Up (AKA i understand them a little better) and blue heart 💙 means i have a design for them. both of these boost them a bit hkjgh <3

Shivers, my city, my beloved of all time, La Revacholiere... what can't i say about her. she's everything actually. the world who loves you. the world can be saved. you can save her. Shivers!!! I adore you!!!!! 💜💙

EMPATHY!! My chosen signature skill! i have very high empathy and it is hell and empathy also struggles with that and imjgkjh hugs him. hugs him. you can be masc and sensitive and kind and loving, me handshake empathy. I love understanding people, i love you empathy you're so cool and im writing a whole ass fic about you. 💜💙

Volition. of course. if i said everything i loved about him we'd be here a LOOONG time. i love you "boring" skill, i love that you want to keep me alive, i love that you made a holy vow to keep harry alive, i love your poignant quotes and your silly quotes and everything you say ever and i love knights and protectors and imgnkjhf. YOU ARE WHY IT'S BEEN 0 DAYS WITHOUT ME CRYING OVER THE SKILLS!!!! dude you are so dear to me, i wish i could hug you, i am never going to be normal about you, there's a reason i named my blog after you hkjh 💜💙

Electrochemistry!! if he wasn't in besties, he would be in "You are so fucking funny" but i do adore him... im used to being called a "smol innocent uwu bean pure cinnamon roll aroace" YOU KNOW THE TYPE, and writing echem has let me write silly stupid pick up lines and inappropriate jokes that im constantly withholding. you are. so tragic funny, your lines make me laugh and then i'll sit and stare at a wall when i think about you too hard. i KNOW you can heal my guy im kissing you directly on the forehead 💜💙

Perception!!! HONESTLY perception could go into the besties category, i LOVE it, but i think friends suits it better. that's my senses and im very fond of it. guy who tells me what i see!! 💜💙

Esprit De Corps :]!! im very fond of getting to hear what the precinct is up to, and also what kim is thinking! Esprit is very community focused to me. 💜

Inland Empire! ohh my guy you say the darnedest things!! you're so interesting. used to be a skill i knew how to write for but like... i forgot?? somehow?? dude where'd you go come back??? i need to research him and write his character study so i can GET HIM AGAIN!! dude i love the words you say... 💙

Interfacing, THIS GUY!! love this guy. just a little tinkerer, prefers machines over people because he knows how they work. helps us get closer to kim! he's a sweetie... 💜💙

Reaction Speed! GUY JUST GOES FAST, catch what you miss, fast reflex fella!! reaction speed you're so fun, go swoosh for real...

Hand/Eye Coordination!! dude you are funny, i love that he just wants to throw things and catch things and shoot guns. very endeared by him hkjddh 💜💙

COMPOSURE YOU ARE INTEGRAL AND ALSO FUNNY. masking king and i LOVE characters who are really good at being the serious straightman of the group but are actually really silly and hide their emotions well, composure you are a queen and i love you. 💜💙

Drama!! ough. my liege, let's lie for fun. WHY?? WHAT?? YOU'RE SO FUNNY WHAT???? your whimsy is beautiful, ive always wanted to be a theater kid 💜

Savoir Faire!! you're SO COOL LITTLE GUY YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SUAVE. i think you're so amusing savvy you're dear to me. DEAR TO ME!!!!

Pain Threshold! dude what is wrong with you (affectionate). thank you for helping me through pain, and your over-masochistic tendencies are extremely amusing to me. dude what is WRONG with you (endeared) 💜💙

Physical Instrument, THE COACH HIMSELF!! god dude, you almost went into the Threatening tier but no, no, you're too funny. i think you're so amusing, why do you SAY THINGS like that dude hkjgh. guy who wants us to jog and lift weights and hit things and is fucking hilarious about it?? i headcanon him as keeping most of the gym teacher memories, so he's good with kids... 💜

Suggestion!! dude you have some WILD ASS suggestions and i love you for it hkjhg

Encyclopedia is up here because of skillsposting i WILL NOT LIE, otherwise he'd be with the rest of the intellect skills hkjfh but also ency is so goddamn funny, i love your infodumps dude, i love that you just say random shit? the pop quiz and the contact mike... dude you're just. what!! (affectionate) i love the fucking shit you remember dude. sorry i just added 50 new words to swept up about him hkjhg 💜💙

Visual Calculus, this is my friend who can make cool light projections and i am FOND OF THEM, i think they're neat!!

Conceptualization, artiste extraordinaire, i ENJOY YOU!! i really like my design for xim, but im still working on her characterization. i love artists. i feel like she wants to see the beauty in things... i appreciate xer :] 💜💙

Logic, pretty neutral about this guy actually, but i do love a skill who tries to get everyone on track hskjsh 💜💙?

Rhetoric! im glad you help us talk good dude!! but you are so very argumentative and im bad at confrontation hkjdh i love communism though, you're so right for that 💜?💙?

Horrific Necktie! my guy please don't choke us and also you are a little too wild for me!! your suggestions are not what i want to do hakjhs but you're amusing and i like you.

Authority! dude, dude, i HATE confrontation nooooo hhkjh!!!! please don't make me exercise my position as a cop noOOOO!!! but i do love you though, you're in charge of some VERY important checks and you're very amusing.

HALF LIGHT ACTUALLY, we're switching her higher because i somehow forgot endurance is misogynistic and fascist?? hkgjh DIVERSITY WIN!! half light will kill everyone equally and we love him for this. like, i will not do your suggestions because i would rather not kill people, also you are very threatening and confrontational, but thank you for looking out for me?? i made a design for her and i think shes so interesting. shes very scared all the time and is not having a good time and i understand little one i get it :'] i will wrap you in blankets (you will burn them and thats okay) 💜💙

Endurance, my guy PLEASSEEEE get better ideology, but you're part of health gang squad and also want harry to live and you remind me of an older sibling who feels like he has to be the strong one while everyone else is weak, so you can stand in the way and protect the ones who can't take a blow. you will endure it... smiles sadly at him... 💙

Limbic System and Ancient Reptilian Brain!! i do love you, i promise, but the voice in my head that tells me i should sleep forever and never wake up has spoken to me for a long time and IM NOT LISTENING ANYMORE!!! we gotta live, little guys. there's a life worth living, worth waking up for. i know it's hard, little guys, but there's a future for us, i promise. also, lovely singing both of you!!

ough. in general i love all the skills. they all want what's best for harry but each of their definitions of "what's best for harry" skew wildly from "live a quiet, normal life" to "learn everything and infodump it to everyone" to "do every drug ever and then drink a whole bar's worth of liquor so you can get dopamine" to "go back to being a gym teacher!" to "FUCKING KILL EVERYONE YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE" to "it's better in the dark isn't it? where you don't have to worry?" and im trying to understand all of their motives. i do love all of them. skills fan forever and ever <3333

OKAY THATS ALL THANKS FOR READING o7!!

[offdacabsav2]

Neon Sorrow

Vacuo may have been nothing but dust and orange hue, however, that didn’t stop its night clubs from pumping the bass past the witching hour.

Mostly young adults drowning their pain in bourbon, or tearing up the dance floor with their partners.

The cheering and blaring songs could be heard all the way from Shade Academy. Conveniently, the school itself engineered most of the establishment’s regulars.

Not Jaune, though.

While teams RWBY and RENO celebrated, he sat at the bar, studying his drink with an unreadable stare.

Another round of pulsing bass and flickering spotlights made him flinch, involuntarily recoiling and spilling the golden beverage.

His eyes narrowed.

The glass absorbed neon shades flashing and sweeping the club. An image of jaded, dull blue orbs stared back. He scowled at the other person stealing his features.

A group of men, laughing boisterously, chose their spots next to him.

He kept them in his peripheral before tossing down some change on the bar.

Beckoning him, a dark corner lay seductively, away and isolated.

He promptly stood and walked. A curious gaze followed.

Acting as a sort of phantom, he leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, shadows covering his face.

Glimpses of yellow, black, orange, red, brown, pink and green on the dance floor between shifting bodies.

Here, separated and alone, he felt comfortable and softly sighed in relief.

Occasionally, he observed the exit and how inviting the fresh chill of night seemed compared to the suffocating humidity of this hellscape.

It smelled like sweat, alcohol and drugs. An inner prisoner beat against his skull.

Why is he even here? Why should he stay? For his friends? To satisfy their constant worries of his wellbeing?

He wanted to tell them he was fine and receive nothing more, but they never quit.

His scroll rang in his pocket. Begrudgingly, he unearthed it, ignoring a legion of unread texts and unanswered calls.

Weiss: ‘Where are you?’

His gloved hand paused over the keyboard. Once more, he glanced at his friends sway in casual wear. Questionable, in Yang’s case.

Jaune: ‘Still here.’

His inhale of polluted oxygen was deep. It honestly hurt more than it should have.

Weiss: ‘But where?’

An alarm sounded. His heart hastened.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t bring himself to answer.

So he didn’t.

That’s when the ugliest familiarity stepped out of his negative thoughts and into real life.

?: “Is that my old buddy, Jaune?”

Now he definitely wanted to leave.

Flanking his right, another revolting expression.

Cardin: “You look different, man. Why are ya hidin’ in the corner? Not like you to be afraid of a dance.”

The Arc’s blood boiled. His signature restraint and calmness degraded.

Jaune: “Fuck. off.” He hissed.

Cardin grinned, feinting shock and hurt.

Russel: “Still an asshole, apparently.”

Jaune regarded him with an evil glare.

Cardin: “Woah, ok dude, uncalled for. I was just trying to make conversation. It’s been a long time. I can’t catch up with a fellow huntsman?”

Winchester puffed out his chest, displaying a white badge showcasing title and official status.

Jaune: “Not a big fan of you’re type of reunion.”

Cardin: “Oh, c’mon. A hug, maybe pat on the back?” He smirked, spreading his longs arms.

Jaune: “Looking for validation or attention?”

Cardin: “I’m looking for a good time… Arc.” He enunciated sharply.

Jaune: “I’m not, so get the hell out of the way.” He threatened as he barged into Cardin’s shoulder and paced to the door.

Wearing an expression of smugness, Cardin slowly turned.

Cardin: “I was gonna ask for your permission.”

Jaune: “What, you need help wiping your own ass?” He answered, stuck on the exit.

Cardin: “That’s good, that’s good. He’s a funny guy, funny guy. No, more like for a dance partner. You wouldn’t mind if I took Schnee for a ride, right?”

Jaune paused abruptly. Cardin’s enthusiasm billowed.

Cardin: “Hook a fellow up, yeah? I mean, she’s gorgeous. I’d really like to see her tear up the dance floor, if you catch my drift.”

He wished he hadn’t met their arrogant faces, but Winchester stoked a fire he wanted to stamp out.

Cardin: “See if she’s really as cold as people say she is.” He glanced beyond the knight.

Jaune caught his quick check. He looked up where a strip of metal revealed two figures stalking him.

Cardin: “I don’t know, always had a thing for long hair and heels. Kinda reminds me of a certain redhead, now that I think about it.”

It was at this point where Jaune’s fingers twitched, trying to wrap around a non-existent weapon.

Slowly, more bystanders stopped dancing and watched the escalating hostility. A crowd was forming.

Cardin: “Oh, my bad. Still a fresh wound, huh?”

Russel left Cardin’s side and approached. His shit-eating grin and lax sway ignited the fire in Jaune’s chest.

Russel: “Why don’t you let this one slide?”

The instant Russel’s hand rested on his shoulder, Jaune grabbed him, slammed his palm against his elbow, bending it unnaturally, and slugged the idiot across the face so hard, he crashed into the bar.

There was a sudden yell of surprise, gauging the hit in the crowd. Quickly, it turned to chants pouring oil on an inferno.

Jaune ducked the swing he knew was coming and flipped Sky over his back. Dove lunged with blurry speed. His fists flew fast, but Jaune broke his offensive with his forearms.

Dove’s leg launched at his mid-section. Jaune shifted, catching it and swept him off his remaining foot.

He prepared to hammer his fist upon his skull, but he was tackled.

Winchester and Arc rolled. However, the bully was ejected backwards as they tumbled.

Utilizing his momentum, Jaune shot to a defensive stance, intercepting Sky’s fist. He twisted the goon’s arm back, earning a cry of pain, and wrapped his hand around Sky’s face, violently slamming him through a table. Beer and splinters flew everywhere.

Affording no respite, Cardin and Dove attacked relentlessly. Jaune was pressed to the back foot, and retreated as he dodged and ducked.

Dove overextended, allowing the knight to side-step his attack and put a body in between him and Winchester.

He planted his fist into Dove’s ribs and knocked him cold with metal knuckles to the side of the brain.

He folded like a rag doll.

Cardin, with uncanny agility, rushed Jaune and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him high and slamming him against the bar.

The bully’s iron grip worked to crush Jaune’s jugular.

And as his vision faded and neon smeared over grey walls, he rocketed his knee upwards. Cardin howled from testicular trauma.

A swift one-two against Cardin’s temple, then a bone shattering blow to the stomach.

Unfortunately, Cardin’s aura only sparked. Jaune’s eyes widened.

The arrogant brute, ardently advertising shocking nimbleness, bashed Jaune with a backhand.

Stumbling from the raw weight behind the attack, Jaune dazed. Winchester grabbed his shoulders and planted his skull against the Arc’s temple.

Blood flowed free while he struggled to keep himself standing.

Barely, he avoided a fatal punch and the following series.

Jaune steadily backpedaled until the bar was no longer restraining his movements.

Missed opportunities piled on top of one another. Cardin roared in rage as Jaune expertly weaved in and out of his range.

Cardin: “You should’ve fucking died at Beacon!”

Right there and then…

He lost.

Seething anger clouded Cardin’s gaze. With 100% strength backing his swing, Jaune would surely die instantly or suffer a seizure so extreme he was bound to perish minutes later.

But, he dropped below him and spun. Cardin was off his feet and on the ground. Before he could register it, Jaune was there pummeling into him.

Each punch packed larger reserved energy than previous ones.

Eventually, the fight had been won, but Jaune kept going.

Bone crunched, blood coated his hands and face.

Flashing images played. Pyrrha between locker bars, Cinder’s infuriating smirk, Weiss dying on the floor, the feeling of his sword slipping past Penny’s flesh and into her heart, and the crushing, indomitable, unbearable loneliness of that damn fairytale.

Jaune wore rage well. Too well.

He couldn’t hear the bass or synths anymore. Same can’t be said for ear-splitting ringing.

A set of cold hands pulled on his shoulders. He whirled fast enough to induce tremendous whiplash…

…

Only to see horrified icy sapphires.

The world returned to him. No longer did the people cheer and yell. The dead silence led him to believe he’d hear the sound of lapping waves, or a sudden explosion of fire.

Weiss: “Jaune.”

What hurt most, was how she looked at him. Like… like he was some kind of demon.

The girl who picked him up after the Pleasers. The woman who shouldered his burden. The huntress he couldn’t stop thinking about; restless at night.

The only person who made him feel…

Wanted…

He tore from her gaze, examining the damage he had caused.

Cardin’s face was mangled. Nose cracked, forehead cut open, and jaw broken beyond repair. He was barely breathing.

Dove lay flat in a growing pool of blood.

Sky struggled to lift himself from the ground. Red poured from his mouth and nose.

Beyond the bar, two employees carried a screaming Russel. A bone protruded through his arm.

Weiss: “Jaune.” She muttered.

He darted to his feet, backing away. RENO watched in pure disbelief. RWBY mimicked that.

Weiss held out her arms, trying to calm him with a delicate voice.

Instead, he ran.

Blowing open the doors and into the night.

Indeed, the air was refreshing.

Weiss: “Jaune!”

Her calls grew distant.

Sirens drew closer.

[layla4567]

You know what I mean

quicksilver x reader

Summary: Y/n throws a hint at Peter that he doesn't know how to catch

Warnings: Fluff and Peter being a naive and silly child

It was a very cold winter day at school, you hated winter and weather like that. Everyone in the classroom was studying history class and they looked quite warm. You were wearing a beige hand-knit sweater with brown horizontal stripes, navy blue leggings and black fingerless gloves, yet your feet felt numb and you kept moving your legs rubbing against each other to try to get warm. Peter sitting next to you was wearing a brown jacket with a furry collar, black jeans and his typical glasses on his head. He was writing something on a notepad, you don't know what it was because you was concentrating on your own notes. Suddenly he rips the yellow paper from the pad and makes a small bun, the silver-haired boy looks up and looks around, especially in front as if he wanted to make sure no one found out. Without warning you feel that something soft hits your head, something fell to the floor. It was the paper that Peter had thrown at you. When you look up at him he looks at you with a toothless smile, trying to appear angelic. You raised the crumpled paper roll annoyed and sighing, when you opened it you could see that it was a poorly drawn drawing of the two of you (they almost looked like stick figures), Peter was holding your hand and for some reason your head was bigger than normal. Asshole. Above the drawing you could read the following words: Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got 'fine' written all over you.

When you finished reading the note you rolled your eyes and looked at him like an elephant looks at an ant, he smiled even more and made a heart with both hands. Although you thought the note was a bit stupid, you felt sorry to throw it away so you put it in your pencil case. Trying to suppress a smile at the thought of that funny drawing, you confronted Peter trying to sound tough.

"Are you kidding me?? Wasn't it easier to hand me the note? You're literally 30 centimeters away "- you spoke quietly so the teacher wouldn't hear

Quicksilver leaned closer in his seat to get closer to you and whispered with a smirk

"I like to make you angry"

He was trying to drive you crazy, you knew it and you knew you couldn't fall for his game but this boy made you desperate sometimes

"Oh yeah? And do you know what an angry person can do, Peter Maximoff?"

Your tone of voice rose a little more but still a whisper. Anyway Professor Howlett heard us and told them to shut up. You both turned to face uncomfortably, Logan could be a hard guy to deal with. But you wanted to return the trick to Peter so you made a drawing on a piece of paper that you tore from your notebook and in the same way that Peter did, you threw it at his head but this time with more force, so much so that the sprinter threw a groan of pain. Logan turned around annoyed looking at you two but especially at Maximoff. Peter blushed and tried to hide the paper that you had thrown at him and that now lay on the ground, stepping on it with his shoes.

"Fine, the next person who makes a noise I will send him to detention and what Charles does with you is no longer my business"- Logan growled angrily before turning around and continuing to write on the board.

Peter dragged his foot to lift the paper while rubbing his head, opening it he saw that it contained a drawing of a hand showing the middle finger and the phrase "Fuck you" on the side. Peter looked at you and you smilingly blew him a flying kiss.

The class continued more or less the same, that is, without any other setback. When it was recess time you went to return some study books to the library. There you found Alex doing the same.

" 'Sup y/n, I see you almost got in trouble "

Alex Summers wore a gray jacket with a hood, a white shirt of which only the collar was visible and a vest on top of military green, at the bottom he wore jeans and brown boots. When he spoke to you, he did it with his usual seductive smile as he leaned back on the shelves supporting one arm.

"That's right, you said it: almost. But it was not like that. It was all the fault of that goofy Maximoff anyway"

Alex chuckled.

"You can't blame him, that's just him. We all get used to it and accept it as it is"

"But do you know what he wrote me in that note?" He denied with his head

"'Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got 'fine' written all over you'. What the hell man.."

You imitated Maximoff's voice trying to use your deep voice and making faces.

The blond boy laughed out loud, bending his trunk and clapping his hands happily.

"It's not funny" - You became serious but your angry face was adorable

Alex wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"Oh come on you gotta admit it's so bad it's good"

Okay, tease if you want. I'm going to the yard. Do you want to come?

Alex appreciated your offer but said he was going to be busy studying for the exam he failed. Before going to the yard you went into your room to pick up a fleece jacket, you knew that as soon as you set foot on the front steps you were going to freeze. You patted the pockets of the jacket, inside there was a hair band from days ago, you had lost it and now you were happy to have found it. In the other pocket you kept a lip balm just in case, it was horrible to have chapped lips. You jogged toward the yard gate to warm up with your gloved hands in your pockets. You hopped down the stairs like children and on the last step you sat with your knees touching your chest and your arms resting on them. You looked at the sky tilting your head, there were not so many clouds but there was enough wind. Suddenly you felt a breeze very close to you, at first you thought it was the wind but when a boy in a beige jacket sat next to you on the stairs you turned your head surprised to look at him.

"You know you don't have to put "Fuck you" when you draw a hand showing the middle finger, right? That's redundant"

That was his kind and brilliant greeting

"I don't care"- you stuck out your tongue childishly

And that was your magnificent answer

You suddenly felt quite cold. You put your hands in your pockets and remembered your lip balm. You took it out of your jacket, uncovered it and put it on your lips. It was cherry flavored. Peter was looking at you out of the corner of his eye wondering what you were doing. While you spread the shiny balm on your lips, you already felt more hydrated. You covered the balm and were about to put it back in your pocket when you noticed Peter's penetrating gaze, he was looking at what you were holding in your hands as if trying to decipher some riddle.

"What are you looking at?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Nevermind"

But Peter was so verbose that he couldn't shut up for a minute.

"Well yeah, I was wondering what the hell was that"- He said pointing to the bottle that you still had in your hand

"This? It's a lip balm. Have you ever seen one? What planet do you live on?"- you laughed

"I don't know, I don't use girly things"

Peter made a noise with his lips as if he wanted to spit something out, a kind of "Pfft" that ended in a giggle.

You were about to put the balm away again when Peter asked again

"And that thing... balsam or whatever. Does it taste like anything?"

In order not to be interested in "girly things" he asked a lot of questions.

"Why do you ask, do you want to buy one?" - you teased him

"Whaaat? Of course not. It's just curiosity"

You uncovered the balsam and showed it to him, it was fiery red.

"It's cherry flavor. Do you wanna try it?"

You used to not be this flirtatious with Peter but when you were around him his cheeky vibe rubbed off on you and you started acting more confident.

"Try it? Let's see"

Maximoff grabbed the balsam with a puzzled expression. He smelled it first, and a sweet aroma tickled his nose. Without thinking twice, he licked the shiny red surface, then made a disgusted notch, spit on the ground, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"This tastes like ass, eww"

You couldn't believe it, you thought Peter would take your hint but he didn't because he's clearly a boy and they never know how to take hints. You wondered if it was normal for him to be so clumsy

"Peter! You weren't supposed to lick it!!"

"But then what did you expect me to do?"-He shrugged

You let out an incredulous laugh as you stood up rolling your eyes in annoyance.

"Ugh nevermind, dork"

You went up the steps two by two and entered the mansion with a quick step, while Peter looked confused as you left while still sitting on the stairs. Then he looked towards the horizon reflecting what made you so angry

"I don't think I'll ever understand girls, why are they so complicated?"

He sighed

Scott saw Peter in the distance and approached him with a lopsided smile.

"Hey Pet! Can I sit?"

"Yeah, go ahead dude"- he said discouraged

"Why do you have that downcast face?"

"You won't believe what just happened to me man, y/n was putting something weird on her lips..-"

"A lip balm?"- Scott cut him off

"Yes exactly, do you know them? Whatever, that smelled like cherries but tasted horrible, I'm sure you're wondering why I know it tasted disgusting and it's because I had asked her if it has any flavor and she replied that it tasted like cherry and said hey do you want to try it? and I said ok let's see what's up but when I licked it off it was more bitter than shit and I ended up spitting it out on the floor, I know it's disgusting. Anyway, she ended up getting mad for no reason and she left me here alone."

Peter sometimes spoke at the speed of light so it was hard to follow the thread of the conversation, but everyone at school was used to it by now.

Scott sighed and put a hand to his face.

"Dude, you're an Idiot"

Peter gasped

Hey! You are supposed to cheer me up not make me feel worse, now why am I supposed to be an idiot??- he crossed his arms with a frown

"She wanted you to kiss her, not suck on her balm like a retard."

"Ohh..THAT makes sense"

Scott shook his head laughing.

"Did you really not understand what she meant?"

Peter Maximoff smirked as he made that "Pfft" with his mouth again.

"Of course I knew what she meant, I was just kidding"

The silver-haired boy laughed out loud to cover it up, but the truth is that he had no idea that this had been a hint.

[snufflepup]

Hm, they sound interesting. I've never heard of them before lol, like when you talked about tablet ice-cream. That of which I actually haven't tried yet cause my mom won't take me to the store :P. Oof, maybe if I can ever come to the UK and we can meet up, then that could be a thing we can do together^^. I enjoyed it a good bit for something live action, and I remember finding a good couple of the guys hot lol. What's your favorite studio ghibli movie? Mines always been spirited away and totoro. Though I liked ponyo a lot too. I've only seen the more popular movies from them, but I wanna watch the other movies too really badly. That actually makes sense lol, I've never heard it said like that, but I understand how the whole power of friendship thing is actually practical in the anime now. Lol thats cute. Who was your favorite character when you watched it? I allways liked bakugou and toga. I love yanderes in different media, and shes just so cute!^^ i used to have space buns like her in 6th grade before i realized they didnt make my roundish face look good. Then i cut my hair pretty short, so i cant do it now lol. Now i go for more of the denki kinda haircut but a little wavy cause thats my hair type. Yeah! Aqua is a water goddess that he uses his last dying wish to bring down to the new magical world with him out of spite lol. Then he meets darkness (masochist yellow girl) and some magical little girl I forgot the name of but her main color is red. I like how his group is basically primary colors and he's green lol. Im actually not that into issekai anime, more so psychological or mystery ones such as tomodachi game and bungou stray dogs. Im embarrased now- im sorry i misunderstood. My little lesbian friend doesnt cuss so i just assumed you were like that too cause i mean idk if ive seen you cuss lol. m glad your day has been alright, apart from that I mean. I understand lol. I get had hearing days a lot cause of how often I have in earbuds and just get hearing fatigue. I swear a ton too lol, though guess that's mostly due to my smoldering southern charm (ゝω・) /j. But my probably most used cuss word is fuck. Or bitch, though I use that more as a word of endearment, like you're my bitch. Though you'd be a guy puppy so I can't really say that :P. Is there a name for guy puppies like there is for girls? Idk any lol. Glad you're excited about more ft content^^ what is it? More chapters to the Manga or a new season to the anime or something? I hate when my asks don't send >:(. How's your day been? I got a school band performance to get ready for tonight. (Maybe the third times a charm)

-Ike<3

Yes !! that sounds good ! (　＾▽＾) I haven't watched any of them in a while, so I'm not sure what mine would be !! I think probably Ponyo, I rewatched it so much when I was younger ! I'd like to watch all of them again really ! It can understand why people still wouldn't like it now, despite that, but nobody ever used to mention it so it used to make me feel a little . insane . I found it hard to decide on a set favourite, but, I think they were deku and uraraka !! I also really liked denki and todoroki a lot too !! aaaa the more I think about the less certain I am of who my favourites are . I love love love toga and bakugo too !!!! I don't actually think I've ever had my hair in space buns, now that I'm thinking of it. . . but I bet little you probably looked super cute ! Your current hair style sounds really nice, too ! I play as the my hero characters a lot when I play fortnite though ! I think it's a little funny to see them do all the dances and stuff fjdhkdkf ooo ! That sounds really cool ! I see I see ! Those ones are pretty cool too, I just whatever ones catch my attention to be honest !!! Don't apologise !! I understand ! I didn't mean it in bad way ^–^ That's fair ! I don't really do it all the time on here because I just . haven't but I've been told by people that they associate swearing with me lol ( and spelling things really badly . ) I'm not really sure why I get it, my guess is that it's probably the same as you, then because I wore earphones like all the time until receently. . . but now I just wear over the head-headphones ! A lot of people where I am swear a lot too, I feel like it is pretty rare to find someone that doesn't swear all the time ! I used to know people that did the same !! I don't really mind it, to be honest, so you could if you wanted ! ^–^ and not really, I think ! Maybe mutt ? It can be used for both, but a lot of people use it on boy ones so ? but it's not really used in the same way bitch is used ! Yes !!! So, currently, whats being worked on is Fairy Tail 100 year quest but he said once that's done he's going to continue Fairy Tail so I'm really really excited !!! I need to catch up with the 100 year quest anime as well, though ! Sorry this took so long . I . don't really have the words to explain but ! Have you been well ? Did your performance go alright ?

[chemkin-c-chickin]

Riku x Namine fic

Story - Hayner and co stop by the manor with Riku to help fix it up for Namine

..........................

"Hayner, thats pink."

"Its salmon."

"Its pink and it doesn't match with green! This room is the sun room!"

"Then it should be yellow, not green! The sun is yellow, Ollie!" Hayner pointed at the large window in front of them as Olette scribbled on the blueprint they cooked up,

"Such a dumbass.."

"Yeah, I can't hear you over my perfect logic. Riku, what do you think?" He looked over to their friend in the corner.

"Kids these days, stuck on their phones!" Hayner smirked and walked over, tapping Riku on the shoulder, "Yo!"

"Gah! What? Yeah?" Riku nearly dropped his phone but tried to play it cool.

"This is the sun room so it should be yellow right?"

"Hayner, I TOLD you three times this morning that its green because Namine likes plants! And brown is boring as a primary color for a room unless you're a painter or a woodworker!" Olette rolled her eyes

Riku looked between them before saying, "Yeah, green makes I guess."

"You just said that cuz you didn't wanna get your ass kicked, huh?" Hayner whispered

"Duh. Listen, just because I put pickles and ice cream together doesn't mean I'm stupid. Thats your job!" Riku smirked and gave Hayner a little poke before pulling out his phone, "Pence is five minutes away. He got the paint."

"Oh! Did he get brushes and newspapers too?" Olette walked over

"Uhh.. Yeah, he did." Riku nodded

"Great! Okay, later on when the paint dries we can put shelves on the walls here and maybe install a planter here by the window sill.."

"Are you paying attention, Hayner?" Riku leaned over and whispered

"No. I mean, I wanna listen but it just keeps comin' out, all the yappin', just get to the point, Olette.."

"Did you two hear me?!"

"Aw fuck, that was a question. What'd she ask?"

Riku shrugged, "I wasn't listening either.."

.......................

"And thank goodness Seifer switched to some prep school for college. I mean, the college we have here is good an' all, but it doesn't have a lotta options in terms of degrees." Pence wants to get into culinary school but the competition is gonna be fierce.

Namine looked up from her phone, "You're shooting for culinary school, aren't you Pence?"

"Yep! Whoa!" He almost tripped and dropped the supplies

"Cooking with oil is kinda scary but Mcduck says if the college doesn't accept me he'll hire me to help Little Chef in the kitchen!"

"Thats great! I'm glad you have a backup plan. Riku's going to look for Sora next year along with Kairi. I wish I could help but I'm no fighter. So, instead I'll just make the manor nice for when he comes back."

"You two have another date comin' up? Y'know, I'm curious, what made you go out with him anyway? He's pretty reserved."

"Heh! Actually, he makes me laugh." Namine smiles

When they get to the manor, Riku and Namine send each other more texts. Riku nearly snorts his soda.

"Whats so funny?" Hayner chuckles, "Dude, the soda almost went up your nose!"

"Hehe... pfft..! Look!" Riku showed them a text from Namine.

"Its just a picture of a fat seal."

"But look at how fat it is!" Riku, normally reserved and quiet, was overwhelmed with laughter

Namine took a picture. Another one for the favorites folder

[keef-a-corn]

THAAAAAT’S RIIIIGHT! It’s everyone’s favourite time! Keef watches TFP and you just get the notes!

This is for season 1, episode 9: Convoy.

I write down the timestamps, but I watch Transformers Prime on Stan (an Australian streaming service) so they may be slightly off.

Also, I’ll warn, I don’t have a lot to say. (Not compared to other episodes)

~~~~Transition~~~~

00:03 - beautiful scenery- for fucks sake, Fowler.

00:05 - ✨walk cycles✨ I Will never not love the way the bots walk and I will never stop reminding you.

00:12 - hehe, height difference.

00:16 - good. (I don’t like Fowler, he’s unnecessarily rude.)

00:21 - hehe Dingus.

00:49 - Raf’s got his priorities straight.

00:52 - Miko’s reaction

01:14 - you already know that a bunch of children had to ask their parents what Propagate means.

01:28 - Optimus knows Fowler would be a reckless driver. But I can also imagine that it’s just generally very uncomfortable and unnecessary stressful for the boys whenever someone else is driving. If not, then I’m making it a hc.

~intro~

02:53 - WOOOOW FOWLER. JUST WOW.

03:07 - Optimus uses that T.H.I.N.K acronym and I will not hear otherwise.

03:18 - if the yellow dot is where the D.N.G.S is, why is it placed between two orange dots? Bee hadn’t moved in front of Optimus yet.

03:22 - I mean.. the truck’s obviously being escorted by two other cars. Why would they assume that all three are unarmed?

03:42 - that’s rich.

03:48 - damn right, Optimus! Shut him dooown! Also Bee, Get back in the lane.

03:55 - translation, ‘a worse evil’

04:15 - Bulkhead said that, but Stan decided Ratchet did.

04:29 - From what we know, most of the cons are greys, black and purples. These are green. The decepticons have a colour scheme going, why would there all of a sudden be a bunch of green cons??

04:54 - that was what Bee did in the first episode.

05:09 - why.. why was his window open?

06:33 - someone that knows transformers lore, could you tell me.. would Optimus be able to feel that?? At the end of the day, that’s still apart of his body.

07:04 - that made me laugh, ngl.

08:23 - Bee really ain’t doing anything, huh? Like they’re breaking in from behind and Bulkhead can’t do anything.

08:41 - oh yeah, forgot about Arcee.

09:03 - makes the whole thing a lot more twisted.

10:44 - FOWLER. WHEN WOULD THE BOTS HAVE GOTTEN AIR SUPPORT?!

10:51 - that’s what it’s like rocking up at school wearing your uniform.

12:23 - Transformers Running well never not be funny.

12:26 - they look like frogs on two feet.

12:37 - specifically watching Bee fight is so entertaining (not just because he’s a favourite, also because he’s really bouncy during his fight scenes.)

12:42 - Optimus moving as though the punch was a minor inconvenience.

12:43 - then he just destroys the con.

13:25 - the big eyes and the cute wave, I caaaan’t!!

14:01 - “I understand-” d o n k

14:12 - Isn’t Fowler able to.. see the fight? Wouldn’t he have seen Optimus get dinked off the cliff.

14:16 - he was taken down by some wood. If you know, you know.

14:25 - Arcee and Bee jumping is the strangest visuals ever.

14:27 - that’s just a group hug in a buttshell.

14:34 - I would love to hear the bloopers for this. How did the VAs manage to say ‘DNGS’ without dying of laughter.

14:37 - you’re telling me that they didn’t have a backup plan??

14:53 - It’s strange hearing ‘suicide’ in a show that probably has a large child audience.

15:00 - How Ratchet pronounced ‘yours’ sounds so out of character that it made me cry. He cares so much he forgot to be an old man.

15:01 - When you watch this scene, watch how Ratchet moves. Like it’s so appealing the way he doesn’t stop moving.

15:54 - did they seriously only have one person in the cart with the D.N.G.S? Seems very flawed.

16:58 - to be fair… yes. He’s right.

17:14 - I’m so confused as to why they went on the train in the first place. Yes it was a bad idea- OF COURSE IT WAS A BAD IDEA AND IT DID NOTHING!

17:15 - BIG TALK, MIKO! Raf was working remotely and managed to give them more time. (I don’t understand how, though, because it seems that they went a different route)

17:32 - quick shoutout to character design. Look at the detail on Optimus’s helm here.

17:55 - I’m pretty sure that the using a fire extinguisher the normal way is going to prove more useful than whatever Jack is planning on doing.

19:38 - Excuse me, but… what?. Just… what??? Also does anyone else see any parallel between Miko and Jack and Optimus and Arcee? Where Miko’s trying to think of different ideas of how to get out while Jack’s like ‘we may die, but I’m just gonna accept that’. And in Scrap heap Arcee was trying to think of different ways to stay alive and Optimus is just like ‘if I stay here and relax there will be an outcome. The outcome may be death, but I’m alright with that.’

20:09 - Optiman, Optiman, does whatever an Optimus can. Can he swing from a web? No he can’t, but he can stop a fraggin train. Look oooooout, Optimus aboooout.

20:28 - I may have laughed loudly when I noticed the unconscious guy.

20:49 - Silas really went ‘GG but-’

20:53 - no. What. The. Actual. Fuck?. When and where did he get that??

—————

So that was Convoy. Because the episode was more focused around the humans than the bots I always found the episode kind of boring.

But considering the episode is mainly about introducing MECH, it’s one that I would watch in a binge, but not one that stands out.

Although being a human focused episode, I thought that they came off either annoying, dumb and/or punchable (with the exception of Raf, he did a good job), particularly Agent Fowler. I hate him in this.

Also, could someone tell me if I should put screenshots before or after their related timestamp. Thanks!

[petitelepus]

OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOD, I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO SO SO 👀 👀 👀 LOOKING FORWARD TO THESE "FUTURE CHAPTERS"!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO CONTINUE!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Also, I wasn't expecting it but I love that I'm a Con :D!!! All I ask is for that you make my plating dark green and purple accent, in the next chapters 👀, cause they're my fav colours ❤️. Oh, I do hope you continue, it's so good, and I wanna see where things go from here 👀 ❤️. Wanna teach Bee all the carnal forms of pleasure. Thank you so, so, so very much!!!

You were honestly just minding your own business by the lake, admiring the sun setting in the distance in calm silence, with only birds' singing echoing in the air around you...

"Hey!"

Or at least you thought you were alone.

"Hey!" There it was that sound again! You blinked before looking back over your shoulder and saw the yellow Autobot minibot behind you, but he had some safety distance between the two of you. As he should, he couldn't completely trust you.

"Well if it isn't the little Autobot pawn!" You laughed out loud and Bumblebee frowned, "I'm not a pawn!"

"Sure you aren't." You rolled your optics and looked at him as you patted the ground next to you, "Come on, sit with me!"

"You aren't going to put me in stasis cuffs again?" Bumblebee asked suspiciously and you smirked, "Are you brave enough to see?"

"I'm brave!" The minibot scowled and walked up to you and sat next to you, but there was still some safe distance. You smiled as you looked at him, "What brings you here?"

"Don't know." The minibot grunted, "I just... I couldn't shake off what we talked about last time."

"Oh." You didn't seem to understand but you didn't pry further. A silence fell between the two of you as you admired the Earth's beauty on its own.

Finally, the silence was too much for Bumblebee to withstand, "Can I ask something?"

"Shoot."

"Why somewhat nice person like you decided to join Decepticons?" Bumblebee asked as he looked at you, "Wouldn't you be happier as Autobot? We are the good guys after all?"

"Autobots and Decepticons, we are all the same coin, just different sides." You mused as you picked a flat stone and rolled it between your servos, "Yet, we let our upbringings, alt modes, and such label us."

"What do you mean?"

"For example, you Autobots have wheels, we Decepticons have wings. As sad as it is, it is just one of many reasons that separate us."

"Yeah, but, you're like the first pretty okay Decepticon I've met!" The yellow Bot cried out, and you smiled a little sadly.

"Let's be honest little Autobot." You sighed and looked at your companion, "Have you heard of a flying Autobot?"

"Well, actually..."

"It was a rhetorical question, I know you have a couple, but what is it that gave them the ability to fly?"

Bumblebee frowned and you nodded, "Decepticon coding, and that's only one thing that makes us so different."

You looked at the stone in your hand and threw it lazily at the lake.

"But that's not why you are here, is it?" You asked and the small Bot flinched and you smirked, knowing there was more to his sudden visit.

"Tell me little Autobot..." You purred as you turned to look at him and gently raised your sharp servo to trace it against his shoulder, careful not to damage his paint job. "What made you come back to me?"

"W- Well...!" Bumblebee frowned, "I tried asking Ratchet what you meant by eating me..."

"And?"

"He threw a wrench at me and asked where I've heard such things!"

You couldn't help yourself, you burst out laughing like a madman. He had actually guts to ask about it and worst of all, he didn't even get a proper answer!

"After our tremendous meeting, that is all that stuck to your mind?"

"It's not funny! You got me in trouble!" Bumblebee shouted in embarrassment but you were laughing so hard you had to hold your stomach.

"Oh Primus, I like you little Autobot!" You laughed as you wiped a tear from your optic. "You make me laugh unlike anyone else!"

"I have a name!"

Finally, you calmed down enough to look at him, "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Bumblebee." The minibot frowned, "What's your dirty Con name?"

You said your name and the yellow Bot frowned, "That's actually a pretty cool name..."

"Thanks, Lil B." You grinned and Bumblebee blushed, "Stop calling me small!"

"Make me." You challenged him and his frown deepened and he was honestly just too cute to resist. What you didn't expect was for him to grab your face between his hands and kiss you.

Your crimson optics widened and you knew you should have pulled away... But you couldn't. No, you leaned in forwards and kissed him back. You hummed happily before pulling away.

"Well, that is certainly one way to shut a Con up." You chuckled lightly, but Bumblebee only blushed harder. "I keep telling you guys, I'm a grown-up, I have the right to know about these things also!"

"Oh, you've proven yourself to me." You nodded with a grin, "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes! It's about time!"

You chuckled at how eager he was and you gently placed your hand on his thigh, in an attempt to not scare him off, but that simple act already made his frame stiffen.

"When I meant eating you out... I meant that I would bury my face between your pretty legs and stuff my face full of your soaking wet valve and swallow your spike as if I was an Energon treat."

Bumblebee blinked as he registered your words and as they sunk into his mind, he turned redder and redder until his paint job was closer to a red cherry than a yellow lemon. "I- I...!"

"But I won't do no such thing without your consent." You smiled and he averted his blue optics, "I thought you Cons would take what you want..."

"I told you once, I tell you twice. I am a Decepticon, not a monster." You smiled gently, even if his assumptions hurt, "Since you are new to these things... Would a kiss be more appropriate?"

"I... I wouldn't be against it!" Bumblebee blushed and you smiled as you gently cupped his cheek, "Lil B, may I kiss you?"

"Lose the Lil and I consider it."

You grinned, "Can I kiss you?"

Bumblebee's blush didn't give up, but he nodded and you smiled as you leaned in, and kissed him while gently holding his cheek. At first, Bumblebee was so nervous he couldn't move, but slowly he warmed up to you.

When you pulled back, the first thing you did was smile at him and gently massaged his cheek with your thumb.

"I know this is totally insane..." You smiled as a soft blush rose to your cheeks, "But would you like to see me more often, just the two of us?"

Bumblebee's blush grew stronger, but he smiled and nodded, "Okay, but I swear, I will make you change your mind and join Autobots...!"

You chuckled, "Until that happens, we have to see each other in secret. I doubt your leader would like it if you went behind his back to see a big mean Decepticon like me."

"Right back at you, I don't think Megatron would like what is happening between us." He shot back at you and you grinned, "Kiss to seal the deal?"

The two of you smiled and kissed, knowing it was only one of the many future kisses.

[etruatcaelum]

i am once again rewatching rwby.

RED TRAILER.

45s in i have to pause to yell (again) about “thus kindly i scatter”—THE SPEAKER. SUMMER ROSE IS NOT THE ROSE. SHE IS THE SPEAKER WHO KILLS THE ROSE AS A CONTEMPLATION OF HIS OWN MORTALITY IN THIS ESSAY I WILL–

“soon may i follow/when friendships decay/and from love’s shining circle/the gems drop away/when true hearts lie withered/and fond ones are flown/oh! who would inhabit/this bleak world alone?” the moon will sadly watch the roses die, huh.

lol.

lmao even.

i know it was just because the budget was a shoelace and chewing gum at this point but the grimm here being fully black with no plating is really funny in the context of my worldbuilding. because it means ruby just fucking slaughters a bunch of baby grimm bfrghfk

WHITE TRAILER

atlas is full of the worst kind of person (people who do flash photography in theaters)

it really is bonkers that jacques was like. yeah i won’t let you attend your college of choice unless you defeat this huge old geist that i have arranged to be captured and inserted into one of our comically oversized suits of armor. sir,

how did they even CATCH that thing.

this is probably my favorite of the trailers in all honesty. the duality of her public/private lives on such raw display. & i think the fight choreo is the cleanest.

the moon does not look broken so much as it looks like something has been nibbling on it. zhan tiri behavior.

BLACK TRAILER

i love how the thinking behind forever fall forest was clearly just “we cannot have green trees in this trailer it’ll ruin the whole aesthetic.” brhdjgh

YOUR HOPES HAVE BECOME MY BURDEN. I WILL FIND MY OWN LIBERATION. salem foreshadowing dot txt.

mumbles. V2 heavily implies that ozpin thinks blake is salem’s spy. so it is not inconceivable that that crow might in fact be qrow. i think about this often.

i have to imagine that this unbelievably over the top security robot was there because somebody tipped off the SDC as to the robbery plot. because lmao.

YELLOW TRAILER

“scathing eyes ask that we be symmetrical” this counts as arm foreshadowing tm

raven being here at the beginning really makes this. somehow a more attentive parent than tai BRGRHFKF (for legal reasons this is a joke)

ozma like yeah in my ideal society there is a minuscule class of elite special warriors with superpowers who roam around unrestrained by law or regulation and with zero meaningful oversight besides their own guild. & then there’s everybody else. why isn’t humanity united yet

i love them so much. they’re so stupid BRRHDKVJDNV

yang’s introduction vs the other three is really so hysterical though. she just- she swans into a nightclub and hospitalizes like fifty people HRGKH. she’s SEVENTEEN.

girl,,

junior and oobleck have the same basic weapon. oobleck’s is also a thermos, befitting his status as a hyper-caffeinated eccentric historian. junior runs a nightclub. do we think he can drink booze out of his

why is tai letting his fifteen year old wander around in the industrial district after dark 😭 man WHAT are ya doin

EP 1: RUBY ROSE

salem: humankind is wise, strong, resourceful, passionate, ingenious, did i mention resourceful? all it took for them to defy fate itself and flourish against all odds was a single spark of hope <3 …what was i talking about? oh, right. oz, your terror of change and your reliance on isolated guardians to hold up the rotting façade of your precious academies will be your undoing because there is no victory to be found in strength. fuck you.

oz: but perhaps!! victory is found in the simpler things that you’ve long forgotten. like hope and honesty <3

salem: ………really?

they are so. DIVORCED. AJDHSHDK

“so-called free world.” her protégée was a child slave. her protégée was a child slave whose mentor attempted to arrest her after she murdered her owners. slavery was abolished after the great war. your so-called free world.

shes so ANGRY.

“a smaller, more honest soul” says the LIAR LMAO

ruby: i think today i will murder some goons <3

ozpin pretending like he doesn’t know exactly who ruby is. most hysterical play of all time. it’s clearly not a secret he’s keeping for a reason—otherwise qrow wouldn’t have been so loose with telling the girls he’s tight with ozpin and ironwood later on—so like. ozpin are you just lying to this girl out of HABIT (probably)

“i want to be a huntress”/“you want to slay monsters?” -> “and what exactly does a huntress do?” “fight… monsters, i guess?” SCREAM LAUGHS.

glynda is like “he’s going to let this child into the school. gods help me” she does NOT get paid enough. whatever he’s paying her isn’t enough

ruby: i don’t want anyone to think i’m special or anything :(

ozpin: good news everybody—

“our world is experiencing an incredible time of peace! please do not ask why we need to train warriors to uphold this peace, thank you :)” cult behavior

the !!empty!! cloak floating above summer’s grave… she’s so alive it makes me crazy

“i don’t want to hear your absolution/hope you’re ready for a revolution” SCREAM LAUGHS AGAIN.

[ex0rin]

i couldn't let your birthday end without dumping some unsolicited torres whump in your inbox XD. happy birthday. love ya! 😘

ahh! Abby!!! 😭this was such a nice thing to wake up to! I'm always so happy to get unsolicited (but AMAZING) Torres whump from you! I'll always love that this is why we became friends originally aha nothing like bonding over scuffing up those perfect white shoes - you're such a wonderful person to have in my life I'm SO thankful for you ❤️

After the stifling heat of the packed ballroom, the November night air is refreshingly cool against Joaquin’s flushed face. He can’t stop grinning – high on the adoration of strangers, and more than a little buzzed from the champagne.

This is actually happening!

He still can’t believe it sometimes – that Sam gave him the wings, that he’s the fucking Falcon now. “Enjoy it,” he’d been told, at the start of this seemingly endless parade of galas and interviews and TV appearances. He hadn’t ever thought of himself as the kind of person to love the limelight, but yeah, he’s enjoying it.

He laughs to himself, loosening his burgundy silk bow-tie as he heads down the marble steps towards the formal gardens. It’s quiet out here, peaceful. He just needs a couple of minutes alone – to walk, breathe, ground himself, enjoy it. Then he’ll have to head back to the party; he’s the guest of honour, after all, and his adoring fans will be waiting.

Oh fuck, he really does have fans now. He laughs again, almost dizzy with the realisation, and his breath comes out in big, billowing clouds that drift up like smoke towards the stars. He tips his head back, watching them dissipate.

It’s a beautiful night, crisp and clear with a frosty full moon peeking out from behind a silhouetted row of bare poplars, and he wanders a little aimlessly, gravel crunching beneath his spotless dress shoes.

He’s not watching where he’s going, still staring at the moon, bright as a new dime on a dark navy bed sheet, when the path leads him around an immaculately manicured hedge and straight into the bulk of John Walker.

“Shit,” he hisses, shocked back to reality by the force of the collision. “Sorry, didn’t see you there. I...”

He recognises the guy almost immediately. He’s unmistakable, even dressed up in a regular black tux rather than the star-spangled supersuit he wore during his brief tenure as Captain America.

“Oh,” Joaquin says, “Hey, man.”

“Hey,” Walker replies, showing his palms as he takes a step back. “My fault. No worries.”

He’s slurring slightly, and Joaquin can smell the hard liquor on his breath despite the two feet between them. He looks like shit, golden hair dishevelled – eyes ringed with dark circles that somehow make his distinctive nose seem even more crooked. He’s aged about ten years in the two months since Joaquin last saw him, and there’s a vivid green and violet bruise blooming across his left cheekbone, yellowing at the edges.

“Shit,” Joaquin says again, taken aback. “What happened? You get into another fight with Barnes and Wilson.”

It’s the wrong thing to say; he knows it as soon as the words leave his lips. Walker’s gaze goes hard and furious, his stubbled jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth.

“The fuck did you just say to me?” he snarls.

“I...” Joaquin flounders. He lifts his shoulders in an awkward shrug, embarrassment filling the gaps left behind by his evaporating euphoria. “I was just joking, man. I didn’t mean...”

The punch catches him completely off guard. He hears himself make a weak yelping sound as Walker’s knuckles connect with the side of his face. Then he’s crumpling, left eye throbbing with a hot, immediate pain that puts another set of stars in the sky.

“Fuck,” he gasps, catching himself against the prickly hedgerow. “What the fuck?”

“You think that it’s funny?!”

Unnaturally strong fists grab at the front of his jacket, and he’s dragged back upright, his head spinning. Walker pulls him in close, close enough that Joaquin can feel the heat radiating off of his body. There’s something dangerous in his eyes, a barely restrained violence just begging to be let out. It sends an almost primal shock of fear down Joaquin’s spine.

“Am I a fucking joke to you?”

“No,” he mumbles. “No. I...”

Walker shakes him so hard that his teeth rattle. It feels like his brain is bouncing off the sides of his skull, like it’s going to liquefy and pour right out of his nose. He pushes hard against Walker’s chest, but he might as well be trying to move a mountain.

“I didn’t mean...”

“I know what you meant,” Walker hisses.

A quick kick sweeps Joaquin’s legs out from under him, and he’s on the ground before he can react, the heavy impact reverberating through his body. He tries to sit up, but Walker’s suddenly on top of him, big hands curling around his biceps and driving him back down into the gravel.

“You think that you’re better than me, huh?” Walker demands. He leans in, grabs Joaquin by the jaw like he’s trying to break it. “You think you’re a real hero, don’t you, pretty boy?”

ALSO: this Torres and this Walker pls:

[lanasblood]

your headers are always sooo kjhgfdsxcvbnmju *goes feral*

it's usually not my style but I'm gonna be a toxic relationship apologist when it comes to neteyam *definitely not healthy and probably worrisome but ain't nobody got time for that*

this was so hot and sooooo sweeeeet, ahhh I love fluffy andra (I love all types of andra) 😍😍😍

my highlights, you ask? I'll list a few:

His thumb traces your lips, the mix of your salivas making the glide easy, as his beautiful golden eyes bore into yours with enough force to cower you, to make you hunger and ache for more.

i am here arching for more. write that fucking book, please, don't make me beg, a novel, a movie script, idc what it is, something, I need people to see this writing, it's so vivid, as the reader you automatically have the pictures in your head.

Because you’re mine. And I’m yours. You own me.

howw?? what do I need to do to make neteyam fucking sully say exactly that to me?? I need a ten-step guide.

you know he’s forgiven already, because whatever he’s about to do is always more than enough to make up for all the shit he didn’t do, because the stuff he knows how to do is enough to excuse world calamities and mass destruction in your mind

WRITING!!! >>>> also same but bruh he is such a walking red green flag actually haha

“Fine, but I swear to Eywa that if you -” “A-ah, fuck!”

idk if the way I quote this makes sense but the transition from fighting to fucking made me screeeammmm!! it's grandiose!!

and the praises that follow after?? kinks are kinking!!! ahhhhhh good girl, take me so well, tiyawn, did so well for me, AHHHH I want him, can I buy him 💳💳💳💳

“Argh, who cares?! It’s be-better he’s gone, he’s a k-killjoy anyway and i for one a-am happy to be rid of-“ “Neteyam!” Tuk’s screams close to deafen you and the sound was the last push your body needed to lunge itself forward and hurl the contents of your stomach onto the mossy ground that was now more yellow than it had ever been green.  “Oh, mighty and all-powerful Eywa.” “Hi, Syulen. I got it, thanks.” “Take her home, Neteyam. And don’t get any funny ideas.” “Yes, ma’am.” 

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS HILARIOUS AND WONDERFUL AND I LOVE DRUNK READER x HOT CASUAL NETEYAM COMBINATIONS SOO MUCH!!!!

I MEAN YOU HAVE TO LOVE THEM, LOOK AT THEIR INTERACTION:

“I hate y-you.” “I know.” “You’re the wo-worst.” “I know.”

neteyam caring for the baby palulukan, tending to his wounds, and gifting it to us?? 🥺for us to become a family??? 😭😭 like I said from the very beginning, such a green flag this man, I love him.

From now on, I only want to run towards things. Towards you. I’m yours. You own me. For good, this time. If you still want me.

always, sir, a l w a y s 🫂

You really were the girl that cried Palulukan

the reference was mwah 😘🤌🏼 I loved everything about this andra, I don’t even know what to say anymore, head empty, currently in my neteyam feelings 😩💔🥴💞✌🏼

ੈ♡˳ ɪ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛɪᴍᴇ

Pairing: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader

Synopsis: You and Neteyam's relationship only knows the 3Fs: fighting, fleeing or... loving.

Requested: Yes.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI. aged up!, smut (p in v, oral - f receiving, light choking, praise kink), fluff, kinda toxic relationship but it's fine cause it's neteyam and i don't see red when it comes to him, it's all golden

WC: 2.3k words

A/N: how the hell did this also turn fluffy in the end??? what is wrong w me??? anyway, i had so so much fun with this request, it might quickly become one of my favourite things i've ever written. thank you so much for the sweet anonnie who suggested it, and i hope you enjoy x

I get tired of your no-shows You get tired of my control They keep telling me to let go But I don't really let go when I say so 

"Everybody's going out. Just come out with us. Don't let him ruin another perfectly nice eclipse."

Your best friend was so right, as she always was, as she gave you this speech for what felt like the millionth time in the years you've had an on-again, off-again situationship with the prince of the Omaticaya, the one and only Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan - a man you loved, that you wished you didn't sometimes, most times, especially tonight, as he forgot about your plans... again, in order to train for way longer than was needed or necessary, way longer than anybody else... again.

Look, you loved Neteyam's drive. It was part of what drove you to him to begin with. He was unrelenting and determined, he was powerful and skilled, he was savvy and intelligent, he was beautiful and charming, he loved his family to death and was incredibly loyal and all those things made him just so. damn. hot.

They also made him the reason you wanted to pull your braids out, because those traits were good in moderation, but nothing was ever grey with Neteyam. No, Neteyam was all or nothing always, black or white and nothing else, and that meant that loyalty for his family quickly turned into neglect for you, determination for his practice quickly turned to forgetfulness of you, and his power, beauty, intelligence and charm meant you never got to do anything about it, because, if you ever tried, you ended up overpowered, outsmarted and fucked dumb face down on your mat until you forgot you were ever mad to begin with.

I've tried to fight our energy, but everytime I think I'm free  You get high and call on the regular I get weak and fall like a teenager Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry? I need to do this, tiyawn, I have to be stronger for my family, for my clan... for you. You're being unreasonable."

"I'm being unreasonable?! Are you out of your fucking mind?"

You feel tears pool in your eyes and spill like a broken fountain as you take him in, bloodied gashes and muddy patches, tired eyes and calloused hands and still... the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life. He looked at you exasperatedly, like you're the crazy one, and you hate it. Hate what he's doing to you, hate that he doesn't consider you or think about you, and that his sorries are always stained with unspoken truths, like how he doesn't truly mean it, not when to him, it's all justified, it's all warranted, and shouldn't be questioned.

"Every day and night, I do nothing but wait, Neteyam. Wait for a man who doesn't think twice about the plans he's made, the promises he never keeps, the memories that sour with every absence he gifts to me like a necklace that half-chokes me to death. I'm tired. I can't do this anym-"

A kiss is all it takes to silence you, to stun you, to make you melt in his embrace the way you always do, all the arguments and the ultimatums swallowed under the intensity of the touch of his lips on yours, his tongue meeting your own in a welcome embrace, so intimate and knowing, so fucking frustrating.

"Net-..."

His thumb traces your lips, the mix of your salivas making the glide easy, as his beautiful golden eyes bore into yours with enough force to cower you, to make you hunger and ache for more. That's all you ever wanted when it comes to Neteyam - more. When his finger pushes gently past your lips and into your mouth, you immediately close them around him and lick... and suck, and he moans, his gaze growing darker and needier with each second you're not writhing under him, the way you should be, the way you were meant to be.

"No, tiyawn. I can't let you speak if you insist on saying those insipid, meaningless words again. You won't leave, because you can't leave. Because you're mine. And I'm yours. You own me."

His hand grabs yours and redirects it to his loincloth, tented up under the weight of his hard-on and the slight damp spot under your touch makes you swallow instinctively. You had no thoughts outside of him anymore, outside of the overwhelming desire that took over you whenever he was in your presence, his being inundating your senses and hijacking your mind to be rid of all but him, full of him, only him.

"Look what you do to me. You. Only you. I need you. Always. I know I'm not good enough, I know, but ..."

His hands find their way to your ass, lifting you gently, and you wrap your thighs around him, although there's no need, not when he moves you just a few feet until he's sitting on your mat, laying you gently on it. When he moves his hands, he takes your loincloth with him, and you whine softly at the sudden cool breeze that hits your aching, sopping core.

"...Let me show you how sorry I am."

When he lays down with his head between your thighs, you know he's forgiven already, because whatever he's about to do is always more than enough to make up for all the shit he didn't do, because the stuff he knows how to do is enough to excuse world calamities and mass destruction in your mind.

Just when I get on a new wave Boy, you look at me and I slip outta my lace They keep calling me a head-case 'Cause I can't make a good case why we can't change

"You're out of your mind, tiyawn."

"Well, if I'm out of my mind, then you made me out of my mind, you skxawng."

"Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"

You have to admit, starting the fight at the communal dinner in front of his parents, the leaders of the clan, and your friends, and everyone you knew, was probably a bit gauche and uncouth, but you think it was just more than anything a perfect testimony of how this man drove you to the brink of insanity in a way no one else could.

"Fine, but I swear to Eywa that if you -"

"A-ah, fuck!"

Propped with your hands on his shoulders, his fingers around your throat, you were bouncing up and down his cock, trying to ignore how you could be caught at any point, how close you were to the communal fire, barely covered by some shrubbery, how fear was fuel for your desire as his tip kept slamming into your cervix so hard you felt it in your ribcage when he rutted upwards into you.

"Quiet, tiyawn. You don't want people to hear us, now do you?"

A glint of mischief flashed across his eyes, smirk to match, as he brought the hand he had gripped on your hips to help him move you on his length forward, circling your clit masterfully and you whimper again, eliciting a small laugh from him.

"Or maybe you like that? 'That turn you on, huh? My dirty girl."

The sound of skin slapping against skin was so strident you'd be surprised if someone wouldn't come just to see if they can catch the end tail of a rousing performance people couldn't help but clap for, but to be honest with yourself, you didn't care. It was known in the village - your mad, intense, mercurial, quixotic relationship with Neteyam. You were both crazy - for each other, and in general, it seemed, because you fought, fled and fucked more often than truly anyone could keep with with.

"God, I love watching you take my cock. You're such a good girl, and you always take me so well, tiyawn. So well."

You said nothing as the rush of all the sensations trying you quickly became overwhelming, as the heady combination of being chocked by a man who knew how to use it to your advantage helped heighten his ministrations on your clit, his wild and intemperate thrusts that stretched you and filled like you craved, like only he could, and you come, whining and sobbing, nails digging painfully in his skin. He follows suit, his own groans unable to be kept hidden, and he releases his hand from around your neck and brings it back to the nape of your neck, willing you softly in his chest, where, although full of cobwebs and a little dusty, would always be your home.

"Shh, that's right. Did so well for me, tiyawn. My perfect girl." A kiss on your temple, soft and intimate, and the constant shower of unbridled praise, that you lived to see come out of his beautiful mouth as he filled you up with his cock, reminded you why you stayed and came back, over and over. Because it was worth it. And he was worth it.

"I'm still fucking mad at you."

I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it Self-destruct, show up like an idiot Why, oh why does God keep bringing me Back to you?

"We are never getting back together. Like ever." you say in between sips of fermented yovo juice, that always goes to your head way too quickly, that always makes a mess out of your tongue and a slur of your words.

"I want to believe you, friend...I really do, but... you've said that one too many times. You're the girl that cried Palulukan. Nobody's coming to rescue you now, sister."

"N-no..." the hiccup was violent enough to make you throw up in your mouth and you groaned, the headache caused by the startled yelp digging in your temples. “I me-mean it this t-time. It’s o-over.” You were stomping your feet in determination, eager to prove that you would once and for all be rid of the man that was nowhere to be found for the village celebration that he’s known about for months.

“Lo-Lo’ak! Hey Lo’ak!” The sighting of Neteyam’s nicer, more amiable, sociable younger brother was a one for sore eyes, as it proved that it wasn’t family duty keeping your boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… away, it was his own maddening stubbornness and selfishness doing it instead.

“Neteyam’s training… I’m sorry. We told him to come, but he… gets in like a weird trance whenever he’s on the grounds, I swear it’s like something out of an Earth zombie movie.”

You didn’t know what he was talking about and he didn’t elaborate before he took off, leaving you leaning against a tree with only your tiny friend as a barrier between your face and the cold, hard, ground.

“Argh, who cares?! It’s be-better he’s gone, he’s a k-killjoy anyway and i for one a-am happy to be rid of-“

“Neteyam!” Tuk’s screams close to deafen you and the sound was the last push your body needed to lunge itself forward and hurl the contents of your stomach onto the mossy ground that was now more yellow than it had ever been green.

“Oh, mighty and all-powerful Eywa.”

“Hi, Syulen. I got it, thanks.”

“Take her home, Neteyam. And don’t get any funny ideas.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Come, tiyawn.”

You wanted to protest, but the bile in your mouth was bitter and burning, and so you didn’t, not as he picked you up as gently as if you were a precious flower he didn’t want to wilt, not when he pressed a kiss on your temple as his arm found the back of your knees for added support, not as he carried you home silently, outside of the soft-spoken coos of affection and apologies, while you mumbled unattractively in his chest.

“I hate y-you.”

"I know."

"You're the wo-worst."

"I know."

As you reached your tent, you were greeted by soft trills and purrs that sobered you immediately, that made you jump from his arms and onto the ground, where a small pup lay. It was cautious as you approached, but eventually relaxed around you and let you kneel beside it. It has an ugly gash across its back, that looked like it had been tended to. It was a Palulukan pup, and the thought made fevered chills run down your spine.

"Neteyam, wha-"

"I found him coming back from practice. He was hurt and limping, and clinging to his mother's corpse. I took him home and have been helping my grandmother tend to him ever since. That's why I'm late."

“I know you’ve been lonely since your parents died. Well, he seemed lonely too. His parents are gone, and so I thought… you could be his new home. And I could be yours. I’m done running away, tiyawn. From now on, I only want to run towards things. Towards you. I’m yours. You own me. For good, this time. If you still want me.”

You smile a sheepish smile, looking up at him through your lashes while you pet the new priceless addition to your small family. You really were the girl that cried Palulukan.

“If I say no, will you take him away?”

He winced a little, a grimace marring his beautiful features.

“Of course not.”

“If I say yes, can we all be a family?”

The grimace dissolved as quickly as it appeared and a dazzling, gummy smile replaced it, one that dizzied you in its utter and undeniable beauty, one that you couldn’t help replicate, not when kneeled in front of you and took your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, his own face mere inches from yours.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

taglist: @fanboyluvr @yagirlheree @teyamsbitch

[inkskinned]

"you seem nervous," he said.

"i'm pretty worried." and then i laughed, high and weird and strained.

he nodded at me and i nodded at him and i pressed my hands very hard together, which is what i do when i want to be politely still but i'm nervous and want to move.

"so there's a lot of ways to think about this test," he said, "but for what i'm about to show you - well. let's picture the test is out of 100."

"okay," i said. i had begged him to give me a "half test"; one i could afford out-of-pocket. i had good insurance; behavioral health wasn't offered for me. i'd been paying for a therapist by working 3 jobs; a situation that stressed me out enough i joked she earned her keep. if i took the whole test, the pricetag began at nine hundred and thirty.

robert the learning specialist is nice. robert was referred to me by a friend. i like all his books and his nice chairs and the warm browns he decorates with.

this is a funny story. i think this story is very fucking funny.

he places his hand on the side of the monitor and looks up over it at me. "so, there are diagnostic requirements for each condition to be considered medically significant. nobody really scores lower than, in this example, 30."

okay. i was 25 and ready for this - that all the self-care, self-treatment... it was pointless. it had always been possible: i don't have adhd, im just fucking stupid. im lazy. im the worst student and a terrible friend. everyone was right about me. this was a personality kind of a thing. i was pretending. i was jumping on an internet trend.

"at 60," robert continues, "and - again, these aren't the real numbers - but at 60, we would consider that to be significant enough for diagnosis. after that, we tend to think of it as increasing in severity."

his brows are knit. he looks strained. so i probably got a 14. i probably didn't take it right. im probably the first person on earth to waste three hundred dollars just to be told i broke the test. fuck. they're going to cancel my meds.

robert turns the screen around. there's a graph on it, a bunch of lines and numbers too small for me to read. "here's the diagnostic line, this 60 i talked about". he points to a yellow band, a little bouncy wave close to the middle. "here's the average citizen, at a 37". this is a red one, closer to the bottom. then he points to a blue. "at a 75 to 78, we would consider the situation to be severe. it's not marked, but 90 would be extreme. does this make sense?"

"yes. definitely." more nodding, more hand pressing. i skitter my eyes around the grey shape, trying to find where my results are. maybe along one of the control lines?

"out of a possible score of 100," he says, "you scored ninety-eight."

he points up at the top, a sparkling lime green wiggle. i hadn't seen it; it was too close to the border of the graph. he gently points back-and-forth from yellow to green, like he is breaking bad news to me.

"well," i say. "so i won the test? or is that a bad thing."

"i've been doing this work for over forty years," he tells me, "and never in my whole career have i seen someone score so highly."

"i have adhd," i say.

"well, these are preliminary tests, and it would be unprofessional for me to confirm until we continue to -"

"i super have adhd," i repeat.

he turns the screen back around. "i think it's - i would be remiss not to say that i find it extremely impressive you've been able to structure your life around this in such a way that you have remained undiagnosed until now."

"well," i say. "i did have a feeling." let out a little laugh again. sharp like a bark. "sorry. oh my god. sorry, i don't mean to laugh. it's just. i have," i repeat, "like super severe adhd."

robert rests his hands on his desk and looks at me. he looks sad, even though this whole thing is hysterically funny. "yes. i think that i can confirm that, but, like i said, i have to encourage you to take the whole test and to -"

"i thought," i say, and for some reason i think it's funnier than anything i ever said - "i literally thought i was faking."

"well." he moves the monitor so it isn't between us. "if i might say something? if you're experiencing these symptoms so frequently that your entire life has been structured around preparing for their inevitability - my question is always; why would you be faking? when you are alone, when you are struggling, what is the point of faking? wouldn't you be able to turn it off? once you received the attention or the accolades, wouldn't you stop? you've talked to me about how much you feel this - and i'm quoting you here" he looks at his notes. "... ruins your life. why would you submit to that, without any actual payout?"

"oh my god." i have to text everyone i know about this immediately. "i have adhd. like big. like the biggest. severely."

"well," robert's brows are creasing.

"sorry," i can't stop laughing, "you just - i mean. i just had the stray thought - what if i've faked this so well that the test can't tell that i'm lying?"