#BTS made me feel so much better ofc but I'm still too upset

[teambuddie]

when i started to watch 911 i already liked buddie, but i wanted to give b*ckt*mmy a chance, i really did, but honestly, i just couldn't and i'm gonna explain why.

1. eddie was haunting the narrative.

after watching 6 seasons of buck dating women i'm not gonna lie i was pretty excited to see him flirt with tummy because yay bisexual buck!!! and the very first scene i was filled with joy until... eddie was in every corner of the relationship. i know, the writers were using buddie as a diversion, they wanted to surprise us that hey he was jealous of tummy not eddie! but then they kept eddie haunting the narrative through the whole relationship. every bt scene eddie was there or was mentioned and obviously the writers did that on purpose, because we're supposed to keep thinking about eddie, we're supposed to know buck is still thinking about eddie even if he's dating someone else. to me the writers made bt impossible to exist separated from eddie and buddie and that made it impossible to me to truly give bt a chance even if i was already biased.

2. tummy is BORING.

look, i was so happy buck was gonna date a man and figure out his sexuality, i really was, but holy shit tummy made it almost unbearable to watch some scenes. how can a man be so boring??? he has zero personality, zero charm, zero everything. every LI from both buck and eddie had at least SOMETHING going on, you know? even natalia and ana had more personality than tummy and that's a bit insane like how a character who showed up for like 5 episodes is more well developed and interesting than you?? and again, to me the writers did that deliberately, they wanted us to feel like something was missing, they didn't want us to get attached to tummy because he wasn't going to be a constant, he was a plot device and he was treated as such. no personality, no complexities, nothing, a blank state.

3. the acting.

this is probably gonna sound mean, but i have to be honest. one of the things that made it even more impossible to enjoy bt was l*u's acting. imo 911 has fantastic acting, like ANGELA BASSETT is on the show, the bar is high guys! even side characters act really well throughout the show and yeah sometimes there is overacting, but mostly is really good and expressive. and then there's l*u... he's so stale, so unexpressive, so bland is like watching a sixth grader acting on a broadway production (but a sixth grader would do a better job probably). i can't take tummy seriously as a character because not only is he boring but i don't feel like watching a "real" character, just a person pretending to be a character and i know that's what acting is but good acting makes you forget that what you're watching is fiction and makes you feel for the characters. l*u's acting achieves none of that.

4. b*ckt*mmies.

i understand when b*ckt*mmies say they can't enjoy buddie bc of the fandom, i do bc they just pushed me even further away from bt. the way they reacted to the break up was... something. some of them had valid reasons to be upset and ofc they were gonna be emotional about their ship breaking up, but the whole "this is homophobic/biphobic" discourse was too much. first they decide to simply forget michael was also an elder gay and say that bt was the only gay couple that showed someone older can be happy... like, are you serious???? "oh but michael wasn't a main character" but his storyline was very well developed and it just as a representation as bt. even better than bt bc no one was saying how he wants the other to have daddy issues (that irked me so much god WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT????). calling ostark biphobic bc he said he wants buck to sleep around again??? as if he said that bc he's bi when it's obvious he said buck should sleep around bc he's buck. ostark showed nothing but support to bi buck and he was always so excited about the storyline, but since he wasn't too onboard with bt and said he'd like for his character to sleep around a bit suddenly he's biphobic???? the way they decided to interpret what tummy said as him saying buck isn't sure of what he wants when it's clear he meant that buck should explore more his sexuality not to be sure but because that's what he probably did and he knows it's healthy and normal to get with new people to figure out what you like and what you want. nothing about the breakup and what ostark/tim said was prejudiced and while i understand feeling hurt and interpreting some stuff with a negative light, i don't think they were being fair to the writing and the crew.

maybe i'm biased bc buddie was already my ship even before i watched 911, but honestly i think if they wanted us to root for bt they'd make their relationship more compelling, they'd give tummy more personality, they'd not make eddie haunt the narrative, but that's not what they did and you may think that's "unfair" to bt and tummy, but honestly it was a warning sign b*ckt*mmies ignored... the sign that said: "this is not meant to be". when tummy called buck evan it wasn't without a deeper meaning, it showed us he was the odd one out, it showed us he didn't belong. and so, he's gone.

[fyjm]

You people seem to like jungkook more than jimin. He can k!ll him but yall (jikookers) will still defend him. What a pity. He used to make of him , his height , his face , his voice and what not. He say shit about him you all let it go saying he was kidding or he was teasing "his baby" (lol) even though it doesn't seem like a joke. Who the f*ck insults their partner in front of a third person?? I personally don't and won't ever do this with my better half nor my partner does. (Well; i dont know bout yours) I do like jk too , but sometimes i have to admit he goes overboard just to be cool. He say things which he didn't mean but it comes out wrongly. He is an adult , Yes , he himself say this, but "some" people ignore his "wrong behavior" saying he is a "kid". Just because YOU WLL DON'T WANT TO LOOSE KOOK OF YOUR "JI-KOOK" otherwise how will yall fight with other breed (taekookers) ???? Don't just defend jk everytime , if he is wrong , He IS wrong. People makes mistakes but you will never admit it when it comes to him. This is the reason why people sometimes hate ? Jk !!! Yall only care bout jk snd not jm just like taekookers only care about tae and not jk - Jm.

When i tell you i'm so confused to why I received this ask... 😶 but since you're here, here are my thoughts;

1. If anything, admin's biggest ships are vmin, yoonmin and minimoni so who are ‘you people’??? 😭 And don't get me wrong, i just love these three interactions the most and don't think they're more 'real' then the other ships, i genuinely think jimin is close with and loves them all. So i'm unsure if this is targeted at this blog or you are venting in general?

2. There had been many moments where members said things to another that made me really uncomfortable and was awkward to watch. As you mentioned, sometimes jokes do get overboard and it might not be the intention but the delivery. There are things they've said that if I were the recipient, I would be hurt (especially since I'm a sensitive snowflake fr 😭). But if my partner/friends/family were to do that to me, I can talk to them myself. I don't need strangers on the internet to go after them for me and spam them hate and death threats. BTS had shown us many times that they get upset at each other and can resolve it themselves. They can decide if it's just a joke or if it is hurtful and they want the other member to stop. Everyone has different tolerance level for jokes. @anon, i agree with you that we don't have to treat them as kids and excuse every slip-up. But as much as I've seen people defending hurtful words, I've also seen a lot of people hating on them for comments they made that no one even knows how the recipient truly feels about. I trust them to settle their own conflicts and set their own boundaries.

3. The biggest victims of the two mentioned ships by anon, are literally the three boys themselves. The amount of hate I've seen targeted at all three boys for this two ships to 'sail' always make me sick to my stomach. There are times where i wish the three of them could just stop interacting with each other, but knowing how much they do love each other, of course I would never genuinely want that for them. I've seen people not just defend mistakes, but also twist unrelated issues. All in order to fit their ship narrative, rather than what anon said about them preferring one of the members over the other? (i might be wrong tho ofc) If anyone think your ships are more important than the boys themselves, you really need a second to reevaluate. @anon, I’m truly thankful that while you seemed frustrated about the situation, you at least still stated that you like both of them even if they might have upset you at times. 

This reply is not an invitation to start a debate here about that two ships please. We are here to just love Jimin, and that is all. If certain ships trigger you, please blacklist the ship name.

[1rmono]

thank you for that post! I'm a new fan and slowly going through the old stuff and I do see how a lot has changed. Of course you don't get exactly the same feeling when you haven't lived through the changes with them but I still do notice it. Also you talked a bit more in depth about Jin and kookie, could you do the same for the rap line? I think joon and yoongi went through a nice journey of figuring out their whole Idol vs rapper thing plus other personal changes ofc.

I would have gone into every member honestly, but i felt like that post was already so long adkjhdf but I can definitely talk more about the rap line!

yoongi: there’s a palpable change i’ve seen in yoongi over the years. when he debuted, he was always a little tired looking because of how hard he worked but the thing was, back in 2013-14 he really seemed to me, the happiest. sure, he wasn’t the moodmaker, but he really did enjoy what he did, even though it was hard. 2015 is when i really saw him changing; he was more withdrawn, he didn’t smile much anymore and he sort of gave up at anything he didn’t absolutely have to do. if any of you have heard his mixtape, you’ll know these are the years depression was hardest on him. i don’t want to speak in behalf of his reasons, but i think he felt like his life wasn’t going the way he meant it, that what he did felt like routine than passion. i think the past 1 or 2 years, he’s a new person. i want to say that in a positive way and though it is positive, it’s also sad because i think the depression took a lot of what yoongi used to be. but now, he’s visibly happier, more willing to dork around and enjoy himself though he is cockier than he used to be, understandably.

namjoon: I think with him, it’s more the changes in his mindset. he’s always been thoughtful but the things that bother him have changed over the years. i am going to quote my namjoon analysis directly from a post i’ve made before.

every time i think about how much fun namjoon got made of for ending up becoming an idol instead of a ‘real’ rapper, i think how much it bore on him, so much so that even years later he still worries about it and talks about it, in songs, in tweets. he’s the only original member left from the initial line up of BTS and he’s had to lose so many friends and people he cared about along the way of acheiving his dreams. he was originally so concerned about tags and he couldn’t stand being called ‘idol’, associating with ‘daenamhyup’ (his rap group outside of bts) instead. the more aegyo and CFs and fan service and ‘embarrassing idol things’ he had to do, the more you could how physically uncomfortable it made him, along with the fact that transitioning from an underground rap scene to living like an idol meant his old friends would always make fun of him for the decisions he made. he’s been ragged on multiple occasions by people telling him on and off camera he’s too ‘idol’ to be a rapper. they teased him about his fans service, even his dyed hair and makeup.

he kept trying to stay calm and collected but honestly, namjoon bore through a lot in that time of his life. at that young age and transformative age, he had to go through figuring out how to keep pushing towards his dreams, his conflicting mindset about his choices and all that while making sure he was a the kind of leader that could keep his team afloat and adjust to 6 other new boys he had never met before.

honestly, there’s a damn good reason namjoon is always talking about wondering if he’s running towards the right dream or if he’s happy with what he’s ended up acheiving. after all these years, he’s still thinking about what he’s doing with his life and if he’s happy on the stage he’s on today. there’s a lot of people that sell their dreams and passion for flashier cars but he’s not okay with that and he’s still adjusting. over time, the difference in his comfort of being called an idol has palpably changed. even in his mixtape, he kept mentioning that yeah, he was an idol, and no, that didn’t mean he was invalid as a rapper. namjoon keeps trying to put himself in boxes that don’t fit him and it’s scary and upsetting for him to not be what he expected for himself to be. even his most recent solos, ‘reflection’, show his discontent with aspects of his life he fears he cannot change.

he hated practicing dance in the beginning because he didn’t want to stray from hip hop and it’s obvious how much bts has strayed from their original roots of music since then. even around debut, ‘school of tears’, ‘adult child’ and multiple other songs he wrote were centered around things he really wanted to put across to society and it showed in bts’ music later, with N.O and ‘no more dream’. however, they’re no longer the hip hop, speak-for-the-youth, rebel-against-society kids i first fell for all those years ago. it’s obvious that it’s a hard pill for namjoon to swallow as well. but the thing about music is that it evolves and he’s still trying to find the balance between wanting to sing about societies problems and lovesick cheesy tracks when they come out with an era like ‘the most beautiful moment in life’.

in the end, he’s an idol and he’s slowly learning that it’s okay and working hard to take his team to greater heights and balance the best of both worlds. as someone who has seen him  every step since his debut, i don’t know how to even begin to express how much seeing him grow means to me and what an amazing human being he is, touching and inspiring not only every member of his band who have so much respect, love and appreciation for him but also everyone who listens to him music and in the end, i’m glad he’s on his way to becoming a happier person.

hoseok: i think hoseok stans might be able to speak better on this, but hoseok is definitely one of the more stable members in terms of personality, at least to me. not to say he hasn’t had his fair share of changes, it’s just that the only big change i’ve seen in hoseok over the years is that he’s more confident about himself, his skill, his dance and his own ability to succeed. to me though, for the most part he’s still the fun, lovely, happy guy with the starkly different serious/sad side since day 1! and this isn’t related to change but the thing i love about hoseok is that he’s such a perfectionist! i don’t know if you all know but he filmed his bts audition dance video 14 (?) times until he felt like it was just right even though most people just tried once.