#BRO MY FIC AUTOSAVED

[chocoenvy]

Hey hey hey hey! Remember those different moms for child god reader fics? Well since Sumeru came out, what if Child God landed there and Dunyazad takes them in for a bit and Child God unknowingly cures her Eleazar?

OH MY FUCKING-

Mommy Dunyarzad (except she shows up for a solid two seconds)

warnings: Angsty!! Spoilers for Sumeru archon quest, a child (under 10) is considered god, cult behaviors

Notes: That's right bitches im alive

3.1k words

Her hands were shaking as she carefully took care of the child, reaching out for their forehead to feel their temperature, gently checking their pulse and heart.

"The Dendro archon must have blessed me once more." The sentence slipped shakily past her lips, a disbelieving smile tugging up on her lips yet her eyes remained creased in worry. She must've looked insane, but really how else was she supposed to react?

There was no way she could pick you up, and there was no way she could leave you to get Dehya. Dunyarzad bit her lip, glaring at her bandaged hands.

She sighed, "Guess I'll just have to wait until you awake, little one." Her eyes softened fondly at your sleeping form, "May the Dendro archon bless your dreams." She placed her hand on your forehead.

The Dendro archon was, in fact, blessing your dreams.

Behind your eyes there was a dream unfolding before you. You stood in the middle of a large cage the bars higher than your house. In there with you was a small girl, green accented hair and her large green eyes, her pupils were blooming flowers.

"You're not from here, are you?" Her voice was high pitched and soft, yet resounded in your ears. You couldn't ignore her even if you tried.

"Where is here?" Your voice was equally soft, despite the circumstances there was no flame in your veins screaming at you to get out of this cage.

You couldn't tear your eyes away from the girl's.

The girl smiled, "Here is here, and you are not usually here, are you?"

You frowned at her confusing wording, "I guess you're right."

She hummed and nodded, pleased, "Yes, (Y/n), right?"

For some reason you weren't surprised that she knew your name. You stepped closer, "Yes. Who are you? And how do you know my name?"

"There are few who don't know." She responded simply, "Both your name and mine, as is the way with gods. We are commodities."

"Co...mo- wait what do you mean gods? And you still didn't tell me your name." You pouted, your head spinning from her confusing sentances.

The girl came closer to you, her eyes made your skin crawl, she stared straight through you, every crevice of your soul was seen by her. Yet somehow she was still comforting, smiling and soft, she saw all of you and understood all of you.

"I am Nahida. Do you know where here is?" She dodged questions like a master, making you wonder how many mind games she's played.

"I... don't." You frowned, your eyes growing slowly watery.

Panic erupted in her eyes, "Well, technically you are dreaming right now, but I am more than real. Where your body is, is not where it's supposed to be."

"My...body..." You muttered, "So where is my body then? If I am not where I'm supposed to be?" You worriedly frowned, "Am I at school? I'm not supposed to sleep at school."

Nahida chuckled, "No, it's not as bad as that. You are merely... hmm how should I put this?... It's the same as a bee living in a hive that's not its own but all the bees think you're the queen bee. You are outside of the system, and you're not supposed to be there, but you think it's home. Does that make sense?" She explained, "It's not necessarily a bad thing as you are not negatively impacting anything, but it's not how things are supposed to be. Do you understand?"

You stared blankly at her.

She sighed, slumping her shoulders, "You are a queen bee in a new hive, but in your old hive you were a regular bee." Her gaze turned grave, "The worker bees will all treat you differently. Remember that when you awake."

"W-what?" Your eyes were round and glassy, confused and scared, "What do you mean?"

Her tiny hands cradled the backs of your dominant hand, in your palm a foreign flower bloomed, "Remember my words and you will be alright. We shall meet again when you next dream. Take care, (Y/n) and don't be afraid. You will be taken care of."

Her smile was sweet as the moon and faded just as fast when the sunlight crashed onto your eyes. You groaned, covering your eyes so they wouldn't be burned by the sunlight.

There was a gasp above you, "You're up!" It sounded like a woman.

You blinked blearily up at her. She didn't look the slight bit familiar, and compared to the girl in your dreams she was rather plain looking. The girl in your dreams...

You shot up, My dream!

Your tiny body heaved gasps of air, as you ignored the woman beside you to soak in the surrounding scenery. It was green and beautiful, a large tree reaching its branches up to the sky was nearby, a fantastical city built into it. There was also a rainforest farther away, and you swore you saw a desert even father than that.

"Where... is here?" Your wide eyes looked up at the woman, swimming with confusion and yet - to Dunyarzad's surprise - no fear.

She smiled patiently, "Here is Sumeru, child. I am Dunyarzad, may I know your name?"

You blinked up at her.

You are a queen bee in a new hive. The words echoed throughout your head like a mantra.

"I'm (Y/n). It's nice to meet you Dunyarzad." You smiled up at her, hoping that Nahida's words - whatever they meant - were wrong.

Dunyarzad's breathing halted for a moment, and then she smiled. Large and warm and distant, "It's a joy to meet you, young (Y/n). Are you aware of your purpose here?"

"My... purpose?" Your large, child eyes stared curiously at her.

She nodded, "You were put here for a reason, I know you aren't a child from Sumeru who accidentally fell asleep in a forest. No, you are different. Do you know why exactly you are in Sumeru?"

You hesitantly shook your head as a no, worry filling your large orbs.

"You are here... because you love Teyvat." She grinned, "Isn't that right? You love Teyvat so much and the world knew, so it brought you here. Isn't that lovely?" She smiled so brightly it nearly outrivaled the sun.

You grinned, "Yeah! Though I've never seen Sumeru before, it's so pretty!" You looked around once more, drinking in everything you could see with glee. "So, my purpose is to enjoy Teyvat?" You tilted your head curiously.

Dunyarzad nodded gleefully, "Yes!" She said softly, honey coating her voice, "You were brought here by divine will, your will to be here and to love here."

You grinned brightly, "That's so cool!"

Dunyarzad nodded as you stood up and hopped around excitedly, "Settle down, child. Come," She stood, dusting off her dress, "allow me to take you to Sumeru city. It is much safer there, and comfier than the wilderness."

You looked at her outstretched hand covered in bandages. You gingerly placed your smaller hand in hers and she led you towards the massive tree, who's branches hoped to one day meet the sky.

*~

Before the gate to the city was even in sight, you could feel the stares from wandering people nearby. The way their eyes widened as they caught onto you, breath caught in their throat, their whole bodies turned in your direction.

Dunyarzad was all smiles, even as your hand tightened nervously around hers. You could see droplets of sweat drip down her face, but she remained bright and comforting. Yet you knew something was wrong.

You got closer to her, almost burying yourself in her side, staring at the ground to avoid the stares.

"Dunyarzad! What are you-" You jumped back as a large woman rushed to Dunyarzad.

"Dehya!" She gasped , "Thank the archons. Look, it's-"

The woman with weird... ears(?) on her head and sharp blue eyes grabbed Dunyarzad's arm urgently, "I know-" She shook her head, "I know who it is." She whispered urgently, "Come on let's go to your house before..." Her eyes connected with yours and you felt a chill travel down your spine. The worry and tint of fear in her eyes as she stared at you was enough to have your hands shaking and gripping tighter onto Dunyarzad's bandaged hand.

The woman - Dehya - rushed the two of you into the heart of the city. Dehya pulled you in between her and Dunyarzad, your right hand being held by Dunyarzad and left arm being held onto tightly by Dehya.

Your chest heaved, there were pinpricks on the back of your eyes and your throat stocked up. You could hear your heart beat reverberate in your ears.

Dehya ushered you and Dunyarzad into a house and shut the door quickly.

"Dehya what-"

"Dunyarzad I-" Her blue eyes glanced at you nervously before settling back on Dunyarzad, "You know-" She huffed and muttered, "Do you understand how the Akademiya will feel about them?"

Dunyarzad tilted her head, "Won't-won't they feel thrilled."

Dehya pursed her lips, "Dunyarzad..." She sighed after glancing at you once more, "We shouldn't be talking about this with them around. Come on kid, you hungry?"

The words struggled out of your mouth, "A little..."

"Here I'll get you a drink too." Her and Dunyarzad made eye contact and they left the room.

Your feet dangled off the seat and you stared at them mindlessly. The tears tickling the back of your eyes finally wriggled their way out. You sniffled and wiped the tears away as well as you could. Why were you so sad? This place was... fun wasn't it? Shouldn't it be?

You love Teyvat. You love everyone here. That's why you're here, that's what the little girl said.

But why did you want to go home so badly? Why did everyone look at you like that?

A bang resounded throughout the entire house, your head snapped up in alarm, and the front door was blocked off by a group of people.

You had a flashback to all those nightmares you'd had that went exactly like this. Those nightmares that had you waking up sobbing and running to your parent. But would you wake up this time? Who would you cry to?

Tears were already streaming down your face, sobs wracking your body. There was nobody to help you.

"Calm down, child." The person in the front said, his voice gruff and uncaring, "Come with us, you are very important and we cannot leave you here."

Wasn't that what the girl - Nahida - was saying? Was it really true?

You pursed your lips and opened them up to retort when a strong arm wrapped around your waist and carried you away. The wind whipped your hair back, a scream tore through your throat at the fear that suffocated your lungs.

Your nails dug into the arm holding you, you were now outside with this person carrying you. You managed to gather the sense to look at who it was.

Dehya.

Dunyarzad was nowhere to be found.

"W-" you coughed out, "Where-"

"Shh!" She shushed you harshly, "If we want to get out of here alive and happy we need to be quiet. Okay?"

Her tone made your crying - which had halted briefly from panic - to start up again.

A flash of regret burned her eyes but it was gone as soon as it had come.

"Okay." You quieted your sniffling.

"Dehya." A deeper, distinctly male voice cut through the wind.

Dehya stopped in her tracks and wordlessly you were passed on. Dehya continued running away, and instinctively you reached for her. The man gently pulled your hand down and tucked you into his thick coat until you were completely obstructed from view.

"Keep quiet and don't move."

You nodded and felt him start to walk. You held your breath every time you heard people and footsteps. Though, strangely, every time you walked past someone they seemed to part for him and quiet down. It brought some relief to you but no matter what your heart was thumping against your chest so hard you were terrified if someone got too close they'd hear.

The man was swift and was quick to exit the city gate, it was less than five minutes later that he set you down in a secluded spot.

Your entire body was shaking, your legs hardly letting you stand up.

"Nilou, take them and go to Gandharva ville. Tighnari and Collei will be able to get them to Liyue and from there everything will go smoothly." The man said gravely.

The girl who had appeared from behind a rock nodded, "I'll do my best, Cyno."

"Good." There was no warmth in his voice and the white haired man disappeared back into the city.

The Nilou lady had orange hair and blue eyes, a beautiful combination, as well as a pair of horns on her head. You briefly wondered if she was related to Ganyu but your heart was beating too fast for you to worry about it for too long.

"It's nice to meet you, your grace." She bowed gracefully, "I am Nilou, I wish we had met under better circumstances but it is extremely important that we hurry." She held out her hand and you blindly took it.

She hoisted you up onto her hip and began sprinting. You weren't sure how far you had made it, the terrain unfamiliar to you, but Nilou was growing tired quickly.

You didn't think you were being followed but there were enemies around every turn, people and monsters alike, which made it 10 times harder to get around.

Eventually, Nilou set you down, her breathing ragged and sweat coating her forhead.

"I'm afraid we'll have to walk for the rest of this journey. Or at least until I get my energy back, if that's alright?" She held her hand out once more.

You grabbed it and nodded.

Your eyes wandered aimlessly, wide and searching for a distraction. Your heart had hardly calmed down and you hardly gripped onto Nilou's hand.

"...my name's (Y/n)," You muttered.

Nilou blinked, glancing down at you for a moment. She smiled beautifully, "What a cute name."

You looked up at her, it felt like your head would fall off any moment, "It's nice to meet you...Nilou."

She smiled softly, "It's nice to meet you as well, your grace."

You frowned, a moment of silence passing between you two.

"You can call me (Y/n)..."

Nilou seemed panicked for a moment, "Well I wouldn't want to disrespect you- although... to keep a low profile I suppose it would help..."

You nodded, "It's also weird being called that."

Nilou paused and giggled, such a childish answer bringing her back to the reality that you were a child in both body and mind.

"I understand. Can I ask how old you are, (Y/n)?" She asked in a kind tone and so casually that you could almost pretend you were meeting a new character - or even person - for the first time.

You nodded, "I'm seven." You held up seven fingers to the sky, while still holding Nilou's hand.

"Oh my, that's quite young. How'd you end up in Sumeru?" She asked, genuine curiosity on her face.

"I woke up here! And Dunyarzad found me!"

Nilou hummed, "I see. This must be quite the upsetting introduction to Teyvat." A frown tugged the corners of her lips down, her eyes turning downcast.

You frowned and could feel the hotness of tears tickle the backs of your eyes, "...yeah." You whined, "I don't wanna talk about it." Your voice was barely a whisper but Nilou heard loud and clear the pain in your voice.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said, and you didn't have the energy to lie to her and tell her that it was alright.

"We're almost there." Nilou pointed ahead, "Do you see the taller trees over there? With the buildings built into them and all the vines and buildings hanging from the trees?"

You nodded, "Uh huh." Your heartrate had calmed and there was a wonder sparkling in your eyes instead of fear. It made Nilou sigh with relief.

"That's Gandharva Ville. Where you'll meet Tighnari and Collei." She brought her hand back down to her side, grinning at the wonder glimmering in your eyes.

She giggled as you unconsciously picked up your pace.

You pursed your lips and opened your mouth before you thought about stopping yourself, "Nilou, what am I?"

"Huh?" She jumped at the question.

You looked up at her with eyes so desperate and confused and lost. It made her heart burn and crack.

After a minute of silence she sighed, "You are a god. You control Teyvat and the happenings within it. Your hand is divine and touches every vision wielder within Teyvat. You watch over us and help us with a guiding hand."

She sounded rehearsed, you didn't want to know how many times this had been said.

You looked up at her with quivering lips and watery eyes, "I don't... I don't think I'm a god."

"Oh dear..." Nilou crouched down gracefully beside you, her hands coming up to cup your face and gently wipe your tears with her thumb. "You're only a child. I'm sorry things have to be this way, but you will be treated with the upmost care and gentleness in Liyue. I can guaretee you. In Sumeru though... in Sumeru our archon is not loved by the people, and we do not want that fate befalling you." She cradled your face gently, her expression crinkled in pain and sympathy, "For now, let's focus on getting you into Liyue. I know it's painful and it's so much for you to handle, but do you think you can hold out for just a bit longer?"

You sniffled, but nodded.

She smiled sweetly, "Good."

She wiped the remaining tears from your eyes and stood up. She grabbed your hand and continued her way to Gandharva Ville. The two of you remained in comfortable silence.

Until Nilou noticed that the forest was too quiet... there weren't any people or animals around.

The fact mostly flew over your head but what neither of you could ignore was the smoke filling your nostrils.

Nilou had picked up her pace, her palm already summoning her hydro powers as if on instinct.

But all of it came to a halt when you and her stood in front of what used to be a bridge leading into Gandharva Ville. A weird blue fire lit up the entirety of the forest.

In the center of it all was a certain doctor, uninterestingly glancing around.

Nilou shoved you into nearby shrubbery that hadn't been touched by the fire yet. Her sword, already infused with hydro, appeared in her hand.

Run. She mouthed.

You obeyed without hesitation.

[castielcommunism]

plain language and penny & pound both got autosaved under the “frequently visited” section of safari on my phone, and they’re literally the only things there ajdhfkgk. my emotional support fics, thank u

bro….. omg…. that is such a high honour. thank you so much for telling me this. I have to go lie down 🥺

[poppyknitt]

The Most Average Collab (A JSE Egos Fanfic)

[I hope you all take joy in knowing that after this fic, which is the first ever chapter in the Chase Brody part of my fics, I will finally start attempting to do both the JSE and the Mark side of my fics, rather than just staying in my current comfort zone, since I figured out that the only way for me to create my own little headcanons about the egos and the ego lore is for me to make a bunch of fics and pretend they’re relevant-]

[Also, don’t worry, Anti’s first ever chapter will come soon, too. It’ll just be a while because I have quite a bit to set up for it before I actually make it.]

[September 18th]

Chase yawned, a bit exhausted, as he had woken up about an hour ago, and the sun was still barely breaching the horizon, so it was pretty dark out. He had decided to just walk to the Bro Average set today, so he had to get up a bit earlier than normal. It was probably around 6:40-7AM, and the majority of the others living in their neighborhood were either already at work or just asleep at this hour, with Henrik and Robbie being the only exceptions that he could think of.

He diverged from the sidewalk, deciding he wanted to go the scenic route today, since he would obviously arrive fairly early if he followed the road for the entire walk there. The path was used often, so even with its thick surrounding vegetation and woodlands, the lines of where the path ended and the forest began were very clear. He hadn’t brought his actual gun with him today, since they were filming a bunch of stunts that involved things like skateboarding, parkour, and probably even attempting to do a full, 360° aerial flip on a dirt bike.

He heard a twig snap, which was followed by computer glitch noises, and he turned, knowing exactly who was there. Anti.

“Oh, hey bro. Funny thing, actually- I was almost starting to miss your annoying, squeaky ten-year-old voice!” Chase mocked the glitch, even though he was fully aware of how stupid that was to try and pull off without any method of defending himself against the dark ego.

Silence.

Well, shit. If he wasn’t going to attack me before, he’s definitely gonna do it now. Chase internally facepalmed at his stupidity. He turned around, and continued walking to work, but quickening his pace this time, since he knew that if he managed to get to a place where there were witnesses that wouldn’t even stop to consider what they were gonna do before jumping into the fight and helping Chase, Anti would be less inclined to attack him.

It took him about 10-15 minutes to actually get there, and thankfully, Anti seemed to have just been watching the events of today unfold for now, since he didn’t hear anything to indicate the demon’s return. He clocked into work, and entered the studio, where he was greeted warmly by the few others whom tended to arrive early- The director, producer, and a few other high-positioned names in the crew.

The day went by quickly, and thankfully, they ended up finishing the recording process early on, and he was sent home around 5:46 that evening, so he had time to record a few videos for the channel. He had no idea what to do, though, so, since Mark was still going to be in town for the next few days, he messaged him, asking if he wanted to attempt to do a collab video.

After a few minutes, Mark messaged back.

Sure, we could give it a shot.

But, uh, you’re not gonna freak out like Jack did, are you?

He rolled his eyes.

No. Why would I? Not like I’m suffering from brain damage.

Mark took a bit longer this time.

You sure, dude? I mean, you did fuck yourself up pretty badly for a few months, back when you did that power hour.

He sighed in annoyance. God, when would Mark let that incident go? Literally everyone else had already done so!

Mark. For the love of god. That was nearly two years ago

This time, his asshole “friend” responded a lot quicker.

Yeah, I know. I was just checking. See you in a few.

The collab video went pretty smoothly, and, for once, they even ended up getting stuff done. They had brainstormed over what to record while Mark was on his way, and for about 15 minutes after Mark arrived. Actually, it wasn’t until Chase started editing the video to add in the audio and facecam that he realized the video wasn’t actually as normal as he thought. It was about 20 minutes long, which left plenty of room for things to have gone wrong.

About 2 minutes in, the facecam glitched, with that familiar, green static look that came with Anti’s presence.

6:03- RGB color distortion. The audio distorted as well, and all he could make out was, in a highly distorted form of Mark’s voice, “I̺͔̩͞'̭̹m̀ ̻ͦ͝s̡̱̰̳̙̮̰̊̂͊̈́ͬ͗̔ͅtͥͣ͗ͨ̂̇͐iͫͣ͋͏̬͓̞l͔̱̾͊l͇̙͚͈͓̣͞ͅ ̰̫͖̠̅̉̈́́hͣͩͮè͚r͍̗̞̰͇̔ͥ͗͋̈́e̯̳̦͟“, which freaked him out a bit, since he thought that only Anti was able to screw with the videos he or one of the other septic egos recorded.

15:24- What he could only assume was either glitched screaming or laughter was faintly heard in the background of the video, and he knew it couldn’t have been game audio, since the game they were playing at that point wasn’t at all glitchy or horror-based.

18:01- More RGB color distortion, however, this time, it extended past the facecam, and affected the gameplay recording too. The audio distorted about 15 seconds later, and the same voice was heard, but this time, it said, “Y̸̤ȯ̧͛ụ̰̝̲͈̰͙̋ͯ̿ͫ͆͛̚'͍͍r̙̦͉͓̻̒͐͐̒̒ě͐̓͟ ͪ̔̂͗͝g̰̳o̴͉͔̟i̮̻̫͓̤̳͐͂́̍ͣ̍n̔g̶ ̶t̝̹̙̹̙̍̏̈ͫ̾o͍̦̗͉̯̖̐̐̈ͩ̏͐ ̵̼͓͓̗ͦͨ̇̀r̖͓̻̰͔͚̄̊ͭ̚̚̚̚ͅe̷͖ͪġ̼̠͖̐ͩ͢r̞̣e͉͕̅ͥtͅ loc҉̦̠̦͓̫̳̝k̺̝͍͍͔̼͌ͦͣ̈́ͤ̂͡i̐͆̔̐ͩͤn͙̖͇̼̲̖̤̐͑͛̉̇ͭͤg͖̹̪ ̭̥̤ͣ̀̋m͟e̘̰̣̜̫̲̠͑̐͐͗͌ͭ́ ̢̲̙̙̋̿̐aw̬̼̜͓̪̫͕ä̃͋͑̓̓ͬy̛̱͚̞̯̮̫͈͐ͬ͆ͨͣ̈́ͣ.̶͌͑̄̄̿̆͑”. He felt chills run down his spine, because this meant that this wasn’t a joke. It was legitimately Dark this time- He knew that, because he knew Marvin had helped Mark trap Dark somewhere inside his computer, back in the beginning of the year, and, also, at Mark’s desperate demanding, had wiped all memory of anything related to the entity from his mind, which, was thus the reason why Mark was totally clueless about the situation with Dark and Jack.

21:04- The post-outro clip Chase and Mark had recorded was corrupted, and Chase swore he could hear Anti’s maniacal laughing in the background, as the video distorted beyond recognition, on all levels.

The recording autosaved itself, despite Chase’s attempts to prevent it from happening. He knew the video couldn’t go up on the channel, it was too dangerous to risk the community freaking out over the sudden, apparent team-up of the channels’ darkest egos, before the rest of them even had a plan formulated to prevent total chaos, death, and destruction raining down on Mark and Chase’s friends.

Suddenly, his screen went black, and he screamed when he saw the familiar face of Dark appear on the monitor.

“It was stupid of you to help them, Jack.” The demon said.

“I’m not Jack! I-I’m just one of his egos!” Chase protested.

“Now that I’m finally free again, we will come for you. Both of you.”

It immediately became obvious that Dark couldn’t hear him- this was probably a pre-recorded message- when there was no reaction to what he said.

“If you are really as clever as he says, then you should already know that there will be no stopping the chaos that we have ready for you.”

The lights in the egos’ house glitched off, and he felt nothing but pure dread as the recording went on.

“My advice to you? Repent your mistakes, and allow my ally to win at his game, and maybe, I will consider sparing you in my endgame.”

The recording cut to an end after that, and to Chase’s horror, he found that the collab video had been uploaded.

This was just the beginning to one gigantic nightmare.

[Chase #1/Darkiplier prologue pt. 2]

Henrik #1

Marvin #1

JBM #1

Sean #1/Darkiplier prologue pt. 1

JJ & Robbie #1

Anti #1

Chase #2

Markiplier connected egoverse, #1

@antis-loyal-puppet

@chaoticcrimsonrose