#BRB just gonna go cry because this isn't my life

[shitshowkb]

okay so i haven't watched in MONTHS but i saw those super bowl commercials with max so i am back baby, let's gooo!

✧ fire country - season one, episodes 13 - 22 reactions below the cut ✧

✧ fire country - season one, episode 13 reaction ✧

• man i love vince

• also i do not like this probie, the vibes are off

• OF COURSE this dumb bitch is chained to a tree and there's a forest fire

• oh fun bode just heard jake ask to be sharon's donor

• i get that he asked so bode doesn't have to go back to prison & leave sharon again

• but i 100% understand why bode is pissed, he wants to do this for his mom so badly

• oh yay, fire's here

• "i don't care about the save, it's about them, not me"

• this dumb girl is gonna be bode's voice of reason, isn't she?

• they're taking bode chicken for his birthday 🥹

• and sharon and vince were bringing him a cake 🥹

• "is that a chicken?" LOL i love vince

• jake's here too 🥹

• i'm not crying, you are

• look at gabs and manny & bode and jake talking things out

• "i just want her to live, doesn't matter who saves her"

• and more tears

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 14 reaction ✧

• "i look like the mattress king" lmaoooo vince

• "you are the mattress king of this house" okay sharon, okay

• rebecca girl you gotta chill

• lmao not bode just standing there talking to gabs while rebecca loads up the sand bags

• alright, what's gonna pop off at this fair?

• gonna be something crazy because these poor people can't ever have a semi normal day

• what a dick

• what'd i say? something crazy

• and THIS is EXACTLY why i do not ride any kind of fair/carnival ride

• oh god that poor kid

• oh great, where is this asshole's kid?

• manny baby, you gotta chill too

• gabs needs help :(

• 29 out of 30

• oh god that kid was on the ride, wasn't he?

• is bode gonna be the one to find this kid?

• i knew bode was gonna find this kid

• jake got approved 🥹

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 15 reaction ✧

• excuse me WHAT

• oh yay, shar is DNR

• oh good lord

• shar is having surgery and gets taken out by a tree

• can my man bode please have a normal chill day for once in his life???

• look at jakey being all grown and loveable when i used to want to fight him every time he was on screen

• if bode can't save eve it's going to WRECK him

• someone is obviously gonna die in this episode

• who's it gonna be? eve? rebecca?

• it sure as hell better not be sharon

• WHO IS GONNA DIE

• it's gonna be rebecca, isn't it?

• i swear to y'all right now if shar dies i'm done watching for another several months

• what no

• i had a feeling rebecca was for sure dying but

• WHAT THE FUCK is going on with jake

• bode baby don't do it

• oh thank god jake's okay

• but shar didn't get her kidney :(

• he just wanted to help shar

• brb am crying

• and now manny is being investigated for arson??

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 16 reaction ✧

• eve and bode are going through it and i hate it

• this probie is weird as hell

• "you keep my name out of your google search"

• get him jake

• this fire is insane

• i just know some crazy shit going to pop off

• this hotshot superintendent is a dick

• so manny is in the clear, thanks @ god

• "we believe the arsonists is a firefighter"

• and they believe it's someone at 42???

• how do they know that though???

• show me the evidence

• OH SHIT

• this man and his need to save lives is SO hot but he's STRESSING me out

• oh great bode's gonna stay, fantastic

• daddy vince being a badass is my favorite

• bode is such a good firefighter

• man i love these leone men

• alright who the fuck is starting fires

• dickhead superintendent hotspot redemption

• 5th grade jake purposely set his bedroom on fire

• i feel like this is not a good thing to admit to the probie???

• oh great all the evidence points to jake and shar knows he's started a fire before

• this is not a good look

• but i feel like he's innocent???

• like my head is screaming at me that it's the probie

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 17 reaction ✧

• is jake really an arsonist?

• i will throw a fit

• is this show really gonna go that route?

• not shar trying to keep this whole arson thing from vince but him hearing the whole conversation

• okay jake is being weird and this is not a good look

• nah see this is why i don't think it's jake

• this probie showing up to a fire when he's not even on shift??? because he was close???

• he's a little too eager which makes him SUSPICIOUS

• good lord jake just tell everyone why you were in drake county

• yes gabs you throw that ladder baby

• oh shit the ammo in the fire is going off

• girl your house is on fire, why are you standing that close to it???

• THE PROBIE TOLD SNOW

• i KNEW jake telling him was a bad idea

• i'm telling y'all now this probie is setting fires and framing jake

• nah i don't like probie going into this house with jake

• I KNEW THE VIBES WERE OFF WITH THIS PROBIE

• bode out here solving crimes and shit

• oh fun, jake is trapped

• "why can't anybody in this family just stay out of it?" lmao i love vince

• I KNEW IT WAS THE PROBIE

• this kid is a fucking psycho

• damn jake is going through it too

• he tracked down his secret brother to see if he could match with shar for a kidney 🥹

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 18 reaction ✧

• B is up for parole already?

• please free my boy

• manny is doing everything he can to make sure bode gets paroled 🥹

• that redheaded lady wants manny so bad, girl me too

• something terrible is about to happen to this party bus full of kids, isn't it?

• jake and eve are at each other's throats rn

• y'all babes gotta chill out

• oh good lord of course this train is gonna hit the party bus

• oh hey kane brown 😍

• fire camp or no fire camp, bode is one hell of a firefighter

• the way this man takes charge 😮‍💨

• eve baby you gotta calm down

• listen i know manny doesn't want anything to jeopardize his chance at parole but he's gotta chill and let bode help

• oh good lord what's on the train???

• is this train going to explode???

• because a train crashing into a prom party bus just isn't enough drama???

• now we add in JET FUEL???

• oh good lord

• that was close, lil too close

• eve baby, take your leave please

• oh shit i forgot about the backpack

• and of course it's full of money

• if this leads to bode not getting parole i stg

• why would you keep a sibling a secret from you kids??? wild

• okay manny get it

• gabs y'all are all alone in the forest and you're not trying to climb that man like a tree???

• eve baby :(

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 19 reaction ✧

• oh great

• this guy is not gonna be good for fire camp

• i do not like this sleeper guy at all

• if this guy ruins B's chance at parole omg

• what da hell is this weird place

• a root fire???

• can we ever just give these poor people a simple little fire where everyone is not in immediate danger for once???

• if bode keeping this kid being high a secret costs him parole i will RIOT

• "dmv opens at 8" lmao I love shar

• oh god that poor woman

• dude this kid was pretty much dying and sleeper comes over and suddenly he's all better???

• how did this trash ass man get into fire camp???

• i really do not like this guy

• bode and freddy have been friends since the beginning and this guy shows up and ruins it???

• nah, fuck that

• eve baby :(

• that fight between freddy and bode was fake??? give those men an oscar cause for sure thought it was real

• bode wants to take down sleeper before he leaves fire camp

• i'm telling y'all if this man doesn't get parole i stg

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 20 reaction ✧

• honestly fuck this sleeper guy bc bringing drugs to fire camp is dangerous for SO many reasons

• like the drugs in general are dangerous but these men are firefighters

• high firefighters??? their lives are already in danger but add in being high and that level of danger is infinitely higher

• oh cool, yes let's beat bode up

• this man wants gabs BAD

• let's goooo, eve and jake are teaming up to help freddy get released

• oh fun, uncle luke is here

• lmao they did not name the trucks bertha and lucille

• "don't ever threaten my people" GET HIM BODE

• OF COURSE there are people in the mine

• what the hell

• DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

• i can not stand this man

• oh yay there are a bunch of kids trapped in there

• and eve & jake are off to save the day

• bode baby you gotta tell cap about the drugs, get the hell outta fire camp & live your life

• awesome they're out of supply line & the kids are yelling for help in the distance

• i absolutely do not like this whole mine rescue situation

• deep in this mine and we're having a diabetic emergency, fun times

• vince cheated on sharon after riley died???

• but why is papa leone yelling about it on his hospital room right now omg

• fantastic now eve, jake & the kids are trapped in this mine

• did this stupid mother fucker hide his stash in bode's stuff? or freddy's stuff?

• i'm going to lose my mind

• this mine situation is stressing me tf out

• GET HIM SHAR 👏🏼

• vince only kissed another woman? papa leone made it sound SO much worse

• are they gonna get freddy out?? 🥺

• vince and jake making up 🥺

• gabs now is not the time for you sneak up on bode omg

• gabs out here being bode's voice of reason 🥹

• but i have a realllll bad feeling about how this gonna play for bode

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 21 reaction ✧

• bode baby please focus on your parole hearing and not those assholes

• i know it's gonna be a process after fire camp but i genuinely cannot wait to see bode working cal fire with his family

• OVER 2 YEARS TO OVERTURN FREDDY'S CONVICTION!?!?

• you idiots can't fight fires to the best of your ability if you're using

• bode essentially saved your lives

• pull your head out of your asses and realize that

• nozzle started the backfire??? of course they did

•i have suddenly decided i do not like faye

• "how are you feeling?" gabs baby that man does not look good at all

• eve baby, you gotta tell freddy the truth

• yeah i do not like faye

• here we go, these nozzle idiots are about to make this so much worse

• what'd i say???

• "my parents" MY HEART

• lol man is bleeding out and still wants a picture with kyle

• freddy is gonna finish his sentence before the conviction can be overturned???

• i know this is a tv show but the justice system really is FUCKED

• man i feel so bad for freddy :(

• these idiots are really trying to escape???

• bode baby i love how much you love helping people but can you please not run off right now??? and freddy too???

• if he doesn't make parole because of this, i'm going to LOSE it

• GET HER SHAR

• "FIVE UNACCOUNTED FOR THREE ROCK FIREFIGHTERS" i'm gonna throw up

• nooooooo, oscar died

• i'm not crying, you are

• this is so sad 😭😭😭

• oh thank god bode was right, they didn't escape

• but they're in this house on fire with no hoses

• i am STRESSED

• can we not have a family reunion IN the fire? please take it outside fellas

• the way it just started pouring rain, and ccr started playing has me in tears lmao

• BYE FAYE

• "yeah, i want him by my side" me too vince, me too

• sacramento calling???

• THAT IS NOT SACRAMENTO

• what the hell

• "i'm not happy" go get your man gabs

• "i can't wait another day, bode"

• GET IT GIRL, GET IT

• it's truly insane that she managed to wait this long because LOOK AT THAT MAN

• FAILED HIS DRUG TEST!?!?

• WHAT THE FUCK

• i'm gonna throw up

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

✧ fire country - season one, episode 22 reaction ✧

• this man has not be using so what the fuck???

• he's still up for parole???

• oh god, i'm already stressed

• manny baby, you gotta calm down and believe your boy

• "you still haven't told him" TOLD HIM WHAT LUKE

• lol i love eve and jake

• why don't they just test bode again at his parole hearing???

• can we get to the parole hearing because i am stressed

• OH GOD NO, not a mudslide

• and cookie and the baby were in it? fantastic

• investigating three rock??? bitch for WHAT

• oh god this man put his son in the fridge to save him but what if they can't find him in time???

• oh dear god

• so much is happening

• i am stressed the fuck out

• and freddy is about to realize cookie and the baby are here

• oh god

• i refuse to believe this man used, REFUSE

• oh great, that wasn't even the right fridge

• this is a mess

• "we kind of wanted to tell you together" TELL US WHAT LUKE

• is cookie gonna be okay??? i'm stressed

• WAIT A MINUTE

• is uncle luke gonna donate a kidney to shar???

• is that why we're being secretive???

• he is gonna donate his kidney 🥹

• that little "hello" 😭

• oh thank god he's still alive in there

• OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN WITH THE MUDSLIDE

• i'm gonna throw up

• this is too stressful

• eve, jake & that little boy are are okay

• now where the hell are freddy, cookie & bode

• brb am crying

• oh thank god they're all okay

• "i'm proud of you mijo"

• brb crying again

• HOLY SHIT

• bode might have a kid????

• what the actual fuck is happening right now

• i'm gonna throw up

• bode what the fuck

• WHAT THE FUCK

• no way in hell is that true, he lied so freddy could get out

• i'm PISSED but i love this man and how he protects his people

• also fuck this mel bitch, i don't like her

• i'm sad

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

season 2, episode 1 reaction post coming SOON!!!!

[nilikhangdiwa]

2023 Fic Wrap Up!

following last year's post, i'm going to go through all of my fics for the year and talk about them a bit! again, um, mostly a3, but yeah!

1.

unbearable warmth

tasuhoma, master loves a mystery

this one was a comm for my lovely friend asra who really loves tasuhoma, so i wrote her a little thingy! there's nothing too much to say about it i think, but i struggled writing it because mlam isn't really my usual playverse. i think it turned out okay though!

- - -

2.

if the sky stops dancing

washisora, kuyuki, +3ghosts, first crush baseball, akiyama twins, canon-compliant (mostly), canon character death

this one was a comm for my friend mic, aka the ceo of washisora and my co-ceo of misuomi! i think i ruined a few lives with this one, not gonna lie. it's a little thing of hikaru and sora getting closer, and they're sooo cute. i've never done anything wrong in my life.

the comments in this are so funny if you check them out! and this fic was the reason for one of the next fics in this list.

- - -

3.

FUCK YEAH, THEY/THEM!

transfem banri, transfem nonbinary taichi, established relationship, fluff, silly

i took a break from destroying lives to write this silly fic. actually, i was in a pretty bad writer's block in the earlier part of the year, so this is one of the first fics after, like... rarepair week 2022 that isn't either a gift or a comm. i wrote this in the school library when i was supposed to be writing a paper, lmao.

it's a sequel to YOU GO, SHE/HER! which i wrote in 2021 and consider to be my magnum opus bantai fic. it's basically the same tags as this one.

- - -

4.

i hope this little light reaches

washisora, kuyuki, +3ghosts, first crush baseball, akiyama twins, canon character death

after the first kuyuki fic, mic came to me like. an hour later with more terrible ideas. so, of course, i helped them make it happen! mic had the idea for the plot, so i just wrote it out into the world, and then this! and then i got sniped by my friends who came for my neck for both of the fics.

- - -

5.

modern talking, modern walking

bantai, transfem taichi, internet friends to irls to eventual lovers

okay, no more angst. only sillies. this fic was for a little server exchange for my friend max! we both love bantai and transfem taichi, so like. this was the natural progression of things, i think! there's not much to say, just that it's very silly and i like it very much.

- - -

6.

i wanted to be your tomorrow

homachika, non-explicit sex

please note the one and a half month gap between the last fic and this one because my god i was so tired from life. but then this roleplay thing happened, and i was playing homare, and my friend was playing chikage, and then... and then i brainrotted so hard. it was so bad. chikahoma was all i could think about for weeks.

there's so much backstory for the chikahoma that inspired this, but it does end in character death, so i'll warn for that real quick. homare confessed to chikage via poem (i am not good at poetry but i tried lol) and they got together and they just... they were so in love with each other and just wanted to protect each other. but it ended up that homare was dying, and as he's about to die, chikage promises that he'll continue writing poems in his stead. and i. and i shatter every time i think about that.

brb crying. anyway.

- - -

7.

elogium

hex & willis, patholosite

SNRK. NUMBER 7. okay. so patholosite is the oc universe of my friend, jas! and i'm very mentally unwell about it. patholosite ruined my life. 10/10 would recommend. it's basically about this doctor, hex, who has, like. seven million issues, the most pressing of which being his inferiority issues. and he's basically currently working under willis, who is a genius and is not helping hex's inferiority complex at all.

stuff happens. please ask please ask please ask. i need to inflict the world with patholosite.

- - -

8.

Lost and Found

samlil, devil's gambit

okay, so this one is a gift for my lovely girlfriend, quill! umm. she did not ask for it. she just randomly sent me money so i sent her this in retaliation.

for context again, me and some friends made a little fake theater troupe like a3, and we're all split into little subtroupes. so devil's gambit is the lead play of my oc/sona (lance, playing sammy) for the troupe, and quill's character (quill, playing lilith) is the colead!

so. um. yes. gay. also this is from before we got together so like. yeah. finger guns. sometimes the gay precedes the gay.

- - -

9.

Why do you, as a man, call another man your partner? Because you're gay?

misukazu & tsuzuru, queerplatonic relationships, established relationship, aromanticism

this one was for the pride month exchange on twt for my friend, link! she asked for a couple things, so i settled on this. it was really fun to write, since i, like kazunari in the fic, am aro, so i was like. hahaha, projection go brr.

(note. i did not have a girlfriend yet at this time. but i do now and i'm still aro. so like. um. the projection projected back at me.)

i was actually supposed to also write a second fic, since i managed to finish this one pretty early. a 5+1 fic about kazunari again, but then i didn't manage to finish it. maybe one day!

- - -

10.

we can be dyed in any color we want

sakuya & kazunari, mentioned bansaku, smoking, just bros hanging out!

this actually wasn't supposed to be the next fic. this fic takes place in the same universe as this, like. kazuchika/bansaku universe i have fluttering around my brain? kazuchika is not mentioned in this fic, but bansaku is. it's not necessarily an au, it's just... a thing.

anyway, so the next fic was supposed to be the main kazuchika fic. but then the main kazuchika fic was turning out too long and i wanted to post this fic. so i decided, hey, instead of posting the main one first and then this side fic, i'll just drop the side fic. i mean, it still makes sense!

so, yeah. this. hopefully, i'll be able to finish the main kazuchika fic this year. maybe.

- - -

11.

someday, i'll be falling without caution

chikatsumu

okay, this one is one i wrote for chikatsumu week, so i'll go through each of the entries. it's chikatsumu week, but the actual thing went on for about a month with 7 prompts. i didn't get to finish all of them, but it was slay!

day 1, first meeting. chikage meets tsumugi in act 5. i don't think there's too much to say about it, since it's pretty self explanatory, but i think they're silly. they should stare at each other and try to peel each other.

day 2, letter. a letter that tsumugi writes to chikage following some unspecified incident where chikage disappears. i wrote this with the intention of it being the same universe as this au i have where april becomes the next organization head, lua.

day 3, domestic. it's just chikage picking up tsumugi after rehearsal and they hold hands and talk and walk. i can write so much about people just doing the most mundane shit, i swear. i love writing mundane shit.

day 4, angel/demon. playverse fic, morimiche (moriarty and michael). this one was inspired by a roleplay me and my friend did a billion years ago. basically, moriarty wants to corrupt the angel and drag him to hell with him. which, like. i mean. i fuck with that. go moriarty go. moriarty is a meanie.

day 5 fic, i ended up putting it in a separate fic (next fic in this list) because it touches on some more sensitive topics.

- - -

12.

silver sulfadiazine

chikatsumu, attempted suicide

day 5, scars. so this one is an unofficial sequel to a fic i wrote on my alt, where basically chikage. y'know. this is the aftermath, and it's from chikage's pov, and he's kind of hazy in-and-out and doesn't quite know what's going on. it's unofficial because the actual fic didn't have any intentions of chikatsumu, but i figured it'd be a nice little what-if.

the original fic was titled freezerburn, and had a lot of themes of like warmth and coldness and such, so i carried that over here. so this one is titled silver sulfadiazine, which is used to treat burns.

i actually wrote this whole thing on a flight to visit my aunt, and then i posted it when i touched down at the airport. very fun.

- - -

13.

a collage of cicadas

tsumuguy, tasuguy

this one was for fuyu ship week, though regrettably i only finished two, because i was preoccupied with rarepair week that started days later. i was also really busy at the time, since i was fortunately able to take my latest term abroad, but that also meant i was packing my shit and running documents for weeks.

day 1, garden + growth. nothing too crazy, just cute tsumuguys! i love tsumuguy. i love guy ships, though there aren't very many, which makes me sad.

day 2, debut. no-mankai au where guy still has journey, and tasuku is still at godza. this is based off a tweet i saw once about this concept, so i just wrote a little something.

i actually had plans for the rest of the week! very briefly:

day 3, beach. tasuhiso. tasuku picks hisoka up from the beach at 3 in the morning.

day 4, passion. tsumuhoma. it was going to be just ages of homare waxing poetic about how much he loves tsumugi's passion for theater and gardening and life.

day 5, snow. azutsumu. they're drinking hot chocolate in the lounge in winter and azuma laments how the flowers tsumugi was tending to are dying because of the cold. tsumugi tells him that there are flowers, too, that bloom in the snow. like you, azuma-san!

day 6, home. azuguy. my note for this just says "guy: tadaima; azuma: okaeri". and like. that's all you need to know, really.

- - -

14.

i just want to hold you tight (i don't want to go back to that lonely life)

lantaru, past tonoita, self-shipping, knights of round iv, internalized homophobia, kind of a character study

HEY. YOU. DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE LANTARU AGENDA. "what the fuck is lantaru?" you may ask. LANCELOT AND ITARU. listen. hear me out. okay. i just think that, as a child and a teen and even into adulthood, itaru yumes with lancelot. that's his lanchan. that's why his hair is bleached at the tips, so they matchy. that's his 2D anime british twink boyfriend.

the fic itself is a little bit of a love letter to self-shipping in general, and how it can help people get through some tough times. it kind of just explores itaru's relationship with lancelot as a character, and his relationship with the people around him, and just. idk. i like them. because, hey, listen. sometimes i can make out with hisoka in my head as a treat and it fixes me a bit. insert that post about being a little mentally unwell to get better.

i like lantaru a normal amount please hear me out on this.

- - -

15.

fool's errand

chikatsuzu, chikamerl, knights of round iv

rarepair week 2! um. listen. i blame my friends wholeheartedly for this. like several other fics, this was inspired by a roleplay between me and some of my friends. and like. god. i'm so mentally unwell. tl;dr is that merlin spent the entire time antagonizing everyone, but then he's becoming human and shedding his magicky dragon-y nature, and chikage, for some fucking reason, decides to be kind to him.

and my brain has never let go of it.

my god i hate them.

i love them please make out.

but yeah. i really like how this one turned out, actually! i like how merlin talks all fancy and old timey and chikage's like uhh ok lol. merlin refers to chikage solely as "chikage utsuki" in this fic, rather than "utsuki chikage" which is how i usually write it. this is because merlin is white. thank you.

- - -

16.

my universe is filled with you (more and more)

sakyoita, future, marriage, established relationship, moving

itaru and sakyo move into their house together! there's not much to say about this, i just really wanted to write an itasakyo fic for rarepair week. they're just really cute and shaped. this one was a little late i think, so all my rpw fics were a little late, but hey! that's fine.

- - -

17.

meet me where our scars collide

tasuchika, introspection, intimacy

i am obsessed with chikage and his scars. like. i swear. i just think about them randomly. it also goes a little into chikage's default flight response of just running away from the problem. i just think. i don't know, man. just... chikage's got so many issues, i think kissing men could fix him.

it's actually really funny because i posted this fic in august, and then like i got a dm in december from one of my friends just SHAKING ME. and i was like WHAT DID I DO. and she was like MEET ME WHERE OUR SCARS COLLIDE. THAT'S WHAT YOU DID. and i was like I POSTED THAT FOUR MONTHS AGO???

anyway, i really like how it turned out!

- - -

18.

despedida

citokazu, act 8, canon compliant

before rpw, someone in a server was like, hey, someone give me a rarepair for day 5 of rpw? i'm thinking citokazu, but idk... and i was like, YO CITOKAZU DAY 5 THAT'S LITERALLY MY PLAN TOO THAT'S CRAZY !! DO IT.

this fic is actually really timely beecause actually between the previous fic and this one was my flight to japan. so i literally had a despedida like when i was writing this. i really like citokazu, though i haven't talked about them a lot recently, so i wanted to write something for them for rpw!

- - -

19.

Venus

tsumuhiso, uriluci, urimiche, sympathy for the angel, stray devil blues, non-linear narrative

okay. so if you haven't seen me during the a3 play ship poll, i made this propaganda for uriluci/urimiche. the au that i mention there is the same one that this fic is inspired by. and i am so unwell about uriluci it's unreal. i adore them, they make each other worse.

the title is venus, because it's the morning star! morning star, morgenstern, is also associated with lucifer. so, yes. also in the end note of the fic, the numbers indicate which order the different fic sections actually go in chronologically.

- - -

20.

Ichor

augju (kind of), gekka, blood and violence, canon character death

this one was my fic for the gekka zine! (which, hey, if you haven't checked it out, you can find it on tumblr @/gekkazine!) it's just, you know, the usual augju bullshit.

july is a really interesting character to me, and more often than not i end up writing him? to the point that some people think of me as july oomf. which is. um. i don't know if that's a compliment, but sure, i'll take it! he's just really. somethimg. he sure is something.

- - -

21.

you are gold, you are home

chikaita, domestic fluff

a comm for cg! most of my chikaita are stuff for cg, tbh, and i'm not complaining! this one's just a short and sweet one about chikage waking up with itaru in his arms, and something about the vulnerability and gentleness of domestic life that he never thought he'd have for himself... yeah.

- - -

22.

bunnies and red pandas

chikaita

this one was for chikaita week! i had a lot of fun writing for these, and i had previously committed to being chill and low stakes about it, so i didn't have a lot of trouble or stress about it. the title references, of course, their a7 (??? i think ???) animals.

day 1, late nights. chikage hasn't come home and itaru's so worried he throws his matches. chikage's his lucky charm! or actually he's just so worried that he can't focus. either way, they're cute.

day 2, playverse. gawafuta! gawain (kniroun) and futami (uraomote). i think... this is the first fic for them i've posted, though i know there are more on ao3. my and my friend ended up making this ship after (another) roleplay thing, and then just... i just think they're neat, i don't know. i have a lot of gawafuta thoughts. i think that futami's one of the best people to help gawain adjust to getting, like, reverse isekai'd, because of his job. like, yeah, the info gathering stuff, but moreso being a teacher. like, modern jp lit takes a lot of inspiration and cues from earlier parts of jp history and lit, so futami presumably knows quite a bit about history and society as well, and just. i think they're neat.

day 3, office life. this was kind of inspired by when i met my friend and he was telling me about how when he went to shinjuku there were just a bunch of salaryman sitting around on the sidewalks and shit drinking and smoking and i was like... yeah. and then this was born. there's a lot of things about itaru's reputation that he has to keep an eye on, i think... but chikage will help, don't worry! also chikage is super pining and in love in this.

fun fact, there's a deleted line in this where chikage says something like not entirely accurate because he wasn't born in japan and only started living here a few years ago, and itaru calls him a gaijin lmao. i took it out because i don't think itaru would do that but like it's funny to me.

day 4, domestic. "nuh uh" "fym nuh uh" is the reason i wrote this entire thing. i had this exchange with someone on twitter about how itaru just says silly things and i was like. you know what? yes. so i just make itaru say silly things in this one.

day 5, plushies. after writing this, the world plushie didn't even look like a word anymore. and i'm just really obsessed with the mental image of itaru turning all of his plushies away so they don't see him and chikage doing the nasty. there's also references to the extended kniroun lore there (runa) which i am happy to talk about at great length always anytime.

- - -

23.

Oversized

samlil, devil's gambit

same deal as lost and found. although, okay, we were actually already together at this point. she, like... randomly sent me money again. i think because i didn't have enough in my paypal to resubscribe to dropout, so i was like haha is anyone willing to commission me real quick. and then she just sent me money. so i wrote this because i wasn't going to take no for an answer. also i had major samlil brainrot, since i had a manga studio art class where we had to make our own manga, and i was like. okay! great! (makes devil's gambit manga) (does not sleep for three weeks)

- - -

24.

Hunter's Mark

azusakyo, nocturnality extended universe

this one was a gift for soda for a little server exchange! they didn't ask for much, so i was like... hm... what's the last thing you said about azusakyo... and then saw vampires and went, PERFECT. I ALREADY HAVE A SAKYO VARIANT FOR NOCT. although he ended up a little different from how i'd originally made him, but i think this works!

the faust backstory is that he's a vampire who's also the head of vampire hunters. why is he hunting other vampires? who knows. he and franz have a history. also, despite being a vampire, he can interact with holy objects and things. he literally trained himself to do that and not to react when it burns. he's crazy, lol. that part i think was inspired by raphael from the mortal instruments. i'm a little unnormal about raphael santiago, but don't worry about it.

the summary of the fic is an excerpt from goethe's dr. faust, who faust is, y'know, name for. he did this bargain with a vampire a long time ago for something. haven't decided what exactly, but something along those lines.

also, fun fact! in my current noct universe, faust's heir is akito, played by azami.

- - -

25.

Shaped Like Halloween

kazunari & chikage, halloween, liberal use of the word "slutty"

this one was for a halloween exchange in a server! for. um. my girlfriend. IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY. the previous fic, the azusakyo fic, it's for a different friend. but initially, the giftee i had received was also my girlfriend. so i asked if it was okay to switch with someone else since i figured she might like to receive fics from people who are, you know, not just me. AND THEN I FUCKING LEARNED THAT BOTH THE GIFT EXCHANGES IN DIFFERENT SERVERS JUST RANDOMIZED THE GIFTEES. SO I RANDOMLY RECEIVED QUILL'S NAME TWICE BECAUSE THE POWER OF GAY OR SOME SHIT??? IDK.

anyway, it's sillies! kazu and chikage. i'm pretty sure that when we'd filled out the forms to join the exchange, we hadn't gotten together yet? and she had something written down like, kazu and chikage, i've been thinking about them recently. and like. i kin kazu, she kins chikage. i know what you are (gay).

- - -

26.

Starburst Tea

bansaku, first meeting, no mankai

for being my favorite a3 ship, you'd think that i'd have more bansaku fics. but, hey, at least i have this one! i also posted this around the time of the bansaku cg, so i was literally losing my mind.

this is based off an actual place i went to while wandering around. me and some irls found this cool little tea shop the city. it was really cozy, and there was an actual wall of tea with different blends. i got carnival! it was good tea. the owner asked my friend if he would be willing to help paint a mural on the side of his tea shop with some other japanese people, so that was slay and fun. there was a fire, we made smores! the owner also has a little wood soldering set, and he let my irl draw his face on the wooden counter. it's really nice. anyway, in universe, my irl is kazu, he just does shit for banri.

- - -

27.

(if) we are meant to be

mukuyuki, soulmate au

last fic of the year! this one was for the secret santa on twt for my friend, aud! admittedly, i don't have a lot of practice writing youngestgumi, but i think it turned out well! i wrote this on the plane ride back home, actually, so it feels like a really nice close for the year.

i'm super normal about soulmate aus, by the way. i have a billion fluttering around my mind at any given point in time.

- - -

thanks for sticking with me this year! hope to write a bajillion more fics again next year~ i actually have one coming up soon for a server secret santa, so look out for that one! >wa)b

[whatever-lmaoo]

It’s a wee bit long so I’m gonna put it under the cut🥹

#“Waking up beside him was a gift.” A gift I’d cherish the most🥺

#“Because I wanna watch the sunrise with you,” why can’t this be my reality 😫���

#“You lucked out with Bucky when it came to small romantic moments.” Literallyyyyy like why can’t every guy be like him🥹

#“I didn't hear 'sex with my amazing boyfriend' on that list. Kinda hurts my feelings.” You didn’t hear it because we’re already thinking about it pumpkin🤭🥵

#“You didn't always laugh this early in the morning and not every day began this bright, but every day was a bit lighter thanks to him.” Ma’ammmm that was so cute🥹🥺💗

#Ms.Navy I love that you’ve characterized this version of Bucky as the most thoughtful boyfriend ever!!! You’re really setting the bar high for all the gents out here😍🤭

#“but it was the little things that mattered.” Y’all know I live for the little things🥰

#“We’re good to each other,” Stawppp I love their relationship🥺

#“His hands made a difference in the world and your life, his calloused touch telling hundreds of stories.” A poet in disguise is what you are Ms.Navy🙂‍↔️

#“These give me plenty of heat.” And they give me plenty to dream about😵‍💫

#“But it’s easier to hold you like this and I wanna hold you when the sun comes up.” My heart🥹 brb just gonna go cry in a corner 😭💖

#“ It may not make sense, but the sunrise just looks more beautiful and hopeful because I have someone to share it with. And people say sunsets are a way to reset, but I’m just thankful because it was another day I got to spend with you.” He pressed a lingering kiss to your temple as your heart swelled. “Each day is a blessing because you're in my life.” Literally you’re gonna make me cry😭😭😭😭

#You wanna grow old with me?” Ofc we do bubba🥺 wouldn’t want to share those moments with anyone else 🥰

#“It isn't much. Sure as hell isn't what you deserve and I'm sorry for that,” let me stop you right there because I would marry you with paper rings and had our service in a local McDonald’s 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

#“I don't care. I said ‘yes’. Now’s the part where you put the ring on my finger,” LITERALLY MEEEEE, it was a yes when you first said it sweet cheeks 😍

#“I have the whole world because of you.” I don’t know if you ever saw the reboot where I mention this but I love your little thoughts 🥹 it’s like a piece of you is in every work of art that you create and I just think it’s so cute💖✨

#“I can change sex with my amazing boyfriend to fiancé,” the way I’d skip straight to husband 🤭

This was the cutest story!!! I love sunbeam and buckaroo’s relationship so much🥹😩 If I could create the perfect relationship for myself it would be a mix of Stud & Smartie’s and Sunbeam & Buckaroo’s🥰💖🌸 My tooth and heart were aching by the end of it😂💗

Sunrises and Sunsets

Pairing: Ranch Hand!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to watch a sunrise with you.

Word Count: Over 2k

Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, tooth rotting sweetness, a bit of sass, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: More Beach Fun Nonsense! Hope you lovelies enjoy. @bigtreefest requested for Ranch Hand!Bucky to either Go for a Swim (smut) or dig his Toes in the Sand (fluff - this won with my muse) with prompt #1 in bold. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You woke up before the alarm went off thanks to Bucky. He normally did his best not to disturb your slumber if you didn't have to get up right away, unless he wanted you and you would gladly forgo sleep for that. But the soft kisses he placed along your shoulder and neck weren't rushed or needy. In the darkness you reached for his hand and felt him smile against your skin when you took it. It made you smile, too, and your heart beat faster in your chest. Waking up beside him was a gift.

“Morning,” you whispered, brushing some of the hair from his eyes when you turned to face him.

“Morning,” he whispered back, kissing the center of your forehead. “Time to get up.”

“No,” you groaned. You didn't glance at the time, but your inner alarm clock knew you had a few more minutes.

He chuckled and nipped your other shoulder hard enough to make you gasp. “Yes, Sunbeam,” he said, his tongue tracing the spot he bit. “Gonna watch the sun come up together before breakfast.”

“Why?” You asked. Today wasn't a special occasion or anniversary that you were aware of. He would have reminded you at some point or vice versa.

“Because I wanna watch the sunrise with you,” he replied, sliding a finger under your chin before you could hide your face in his chest. The room was dark, but you felt his gaze plead with you to get up. “Please?” He added for good measure.

With another groan, you gave in. “Fine,” you sighed, trying to hide your smile as you stretched under the sheets. You lucked out with Bucky when it came to small romantic moments. What other man would wake you just to watch the sunrise together? “Sun, breakfast, caffeine.”

“Turning on the light,” he warned, giving you time to cover your eyes when he leaned over to flip the lamp switch. He was thoughtful like that. “I didn't hear 'sex with my amazing boyfriend' on that list. Kinda hurts my feelings.”

You giggled and removed your hand, blinking more of the sleep from your eyes. “Sex is for after I have my caffeine.”

It was his turn to groan. “Fine,” he mocked in his best imitation of you, making you giggle again. You didn't always laugh this early in the morning and not every day began this bright, but every day was a bit lighter thanks to him. “C’mon. You can sleep later.”

“Whatever you say, Buckaroo,” you said as you sat up. You slid your feet into your slippers, your stomach fluttering because you know you didn't put them back in that spot yesterday. “Thank you,” you said, wiggling your toes.

“Can't let your feet touch the cold floor now, can I?” He winked, stretching as he stood up.

Your throat tightened. It was such a tiny gesture in the grand scheme of things, but it was the little things that mattered. They showed that he paid attention and cared. You tried to do the same for him, like cooking his favorite meals or drawing him a bath after a hard day. You hoped it was enough.

“You’re so good to me,” you said, holding your hands out so he could help you stand.

“We’re good to each other,” he said, pulling you up with ease.

The rough pads of his fingertips rubbed along your skin, a physical reminder of the work he put in day in and day out. His hands made a difference in the world and your life, his calloused touch telling hundreds of stories. Being part of his journey and creating a new story together was something out of a dream. The beauty of it was that your story wasn't over yet.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.

“I’ll tell you when we go outside,” you replied, not wanting him to miss any of the view. “Do you need to put a shirt on?”

He pulled a hand away to pat his pocket before he smirked and pointed to his washboard abs. “These give me plenty of heat.”

Your gaze went to his torso, heat of your own spreading from your core. Working day in and day out kept him in great shape. He belonged on one of those cowboy romance novel covers. Or a calendar.

I could make a killing with a ranch hand calendar featuring all the guys.

“And for breakfast, I'll make you some humble pie. A big ol’ slice,” you teased.

“Mmm. Pie for breakfast. You do love me,” he joked.

“More than anything,” you smiled.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your mouth, tilting your world on its axis like always. “Love you, too.”

“You have to if you don't care about my morning breath,” you smiled.

He grabbed a couple of blankets as he led you out to the front porch, just in case there was a chill in the air. Another thoughtful gesture. Instead of taking you to the porch swing like you expected, he took you down the steps and laid out one of the blankets in the grass where you sometimes had picnics together.

“Why aren't we sitting in the swing?” You asked.

“I mean, we could sit in the swing and I can put my arm around you.” He sat down and spread his legs out in front of him, patting the spot between them. “But it’s easier to hold you like this and I wanna hold you when the sun comes up.”

“You’re such a sap,” you smiled, happily taking the spot between his legs. “But I like that.”

“You do know I’m only a sap for you, right?”

“I do,” you said, spreading the other blanket across your legs. “Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.”

“Too late. Everyone knows,” he smiled.

“True,” you said, tilting your head and taking the opportunity to kiss underneath his chin before you looked back at the horizon.

Exhaling, you pressed your back against Bucky’s chest and revelled in the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around you. He occasionally reminded you of the sun. He had fire within him and brightened your world just by being there. But to him, you were the sun.

We're each other's sun and moon.

“So, you just felt like watching a sunrise with me?” You asked.

“Just felt like it,” he agreed, holding you a bit tighter. “I’ve watched sunrises and sunsets more times than I can count, but it’s just different with you.”

“Why is that?” You asked.

“It may not make sense, but the sunrise just looks more beautiful and hopeful because I have someone to share it with. And people say sunsets are a way to reset, but I’m just thankful because it was another day I got to spend with you.” He pressed a lingering kiss to your temple as your heart swelled. “Each day is a blessing because you're in my life.”

You were on the verge of spilling tears, but managed to keep them at bay. “I feel blessed, too,” you whispered.

His chest shook as he chuckled. “I really am a sap.”

“Yeah, but you’re my sap,” you said, tracing the palm of his hand. It was a special thing to bring out that side of him. “You know how you asked me what I was thinking about earlier? I was thinking how your hands can tell so many stories. I think your wrinkles will tell stories, too.”

“My wrinkles?” He asked.

“Yeah. Each is a chapter in your story. Just like every scar,” you answered. Bucky thought every mark on your body was a thing of beauty. You wanted him to feel the same way about his. “They’ll say how you survived hard times. How you lived your life. How you loved.”

“You’re a sap, too,” he teased, catching your elbow before you could ram it into him. “Easy, I’m kidding. I think that’s a beautiful way to look at it.”

There was beauty all around you with Bucky.

“Well, the thought of getting older used to scare me, but it doesn't seem so bad because I have you. We won't have to do it alone. We’ll grow together,” you smiled, gazing at the sky that seemed to stretch on forever. “So when we're older and you have wrinkles and gray hairs, I want you to keep doing this: Wake me up for a sunrise just because you felt like it. Just because you wanted to share one more beautiful moment with me.”

“You wanna grow old with me?” He asked, his voice thicker than you expected. “And on those days, you’ll still love me? Wrinkles and all?”

“Of course, I do. And of course, I will,” you promised. You would love him no matter what. “And you’ll still love me when I grow old?”

“Forever and always,” he whispered, resting his chin on your shoulder when the sun began to rise.

Your heart raced as the hues touched the land you two shared, painting a canvas in glowing rays. He was right that the sunrise was more beautiful and hopeful because you had someone to share it with. And while you were certain there were others watching the sky, this felt like a new dawn just for the two of you.

“It really is breathtaking, isn’t it?” You smiled.

“You’re breathtaking,” he said, making your smile widen as your cheeks warmed.

“You flatter me, Buckaroo,” you said affectionately.

Bucky took a deep breath by your ear as you continued to look at the view. “Marry me, Sunbeam,” he whispered.

With wide eyes, you spun around in his arms. You didn't know it, but to him you looked like an angel with the rays growing brighter around you. “What?” You asked.

“Shit. I was supposed to ask you, not tell you. And I was supposed to have something special planned, but I keep carrying this around in case the time’s right and this just seemed right.” He swallowed before he reached into his pajama pocket and pulled out a small box. “It isn't much. Sure as hell isn't what you deserve and I'm sorry for that,” he said. You covered your mouth with a gasp when he opened it. Simple, beautiful, and a diamond that sparkled like the sun. To you, it was the most beautiful ring to ever exist. “But I love you and I want you to be my wife. I wanna grow old with you and I don't wanna tell the story of my life without you in it. I-”

“Yes!” You shouted into the morning air, knocking him on his back. You were lucky you didn’t knock the ring box out of his hand. “Yes, yes, yes! I’ll marry you!”

“I wasn't done with my proposal,” he chuckled.

“I don't care. I said ‘yes’. Now’s the part where you put the ring on my finger,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. He managed to slip the ring onto your finger with you stretched out on top of him. A perfect fit. “It’s beautiful. Don't ever apologize for giving me something so beautiful.”

The proposal was beautiful, too. It came from the heart at a time he knew was right. You couldn't ask for anything better.

I have the whole world because of you.

You swore you saw the sunrise in his eyes as he framed your face and smiled up at you. “Love you, Sunbeam.”

“Love you, too, Buckaroo,” you whispered, giggling. “And guess what?”

“What’s that?”

“I can change sex with my amazing boyfriend to fiancé,” you smiled.

“Why don’t we skip to that part? I’ll make sure you get some caffeine after,” he smirked. "Deal," you giggled again, leaning down to kiss him.

The sun continued to climb in the sky behind you as he deepened the kiss, bathing you in light as you celebrated the next chapter in your life together.

And with his ring on your finger, you knew you’d forever appreciate every sunrise and sunset even more.

Anyone else get a cavity from this sweetness? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[bluesfortheredj]

Imagine knitting a massive scarf for Gwil and he just wears it with everything and gushes to everyone about it 😭 whenever I think about it, I think about you😭

🥺 You... you think of me? 🥺🥺❤️ I am so in my feelings today it is unreal.

- Even if there's only a slight breeze on an otherwise warm day he'll have it around his neck, letting it hang open along with his jacket... "uh, Gwil, it's practically summer, why are you wearing that?" his brother teases.

"Why not?! There's a cool breeze out today, and it could get colder, you never know... Plus (Y/N) made it, and it goes with almost anything," he grins proudly, smoothing it down.

- He'll fiddle with the ends of it when he's apart from you and feeling like he needs some comfort, and he'll instantly feel calmer, almost as if you're there with him holding his hand... "that's really distracting y'know," Joe frowns, looking between Gwilym's face and his fingers that just won't stop moving, "can you stop messing with that scarf for one minute?!"

Gwilym turns to him with a half smile and one eyebrow raised, "nope! Did you know that (Y/N)-"

"... Made it for you, yes, the whole world knows by now," Joe scoffs, rolling his eyes.

- When it begins to get a little worn and small holes are appearing he refuses to throw it out, even though you promise to make him another one, "there's nothing wrong with it!" he'll protest when you stick a finger through one of the bigger holes, "it still does it's job and keeps me warm, I don't need another one!"

"But it's almost falling apart in some places!" you chuckle, inspecting it carefully as he tries to gently pull it out of your hands.

"I don't care, its the first thing you made me and I'm not going to throw it away. Ever. I love it too much... Almost as much as I love you."

[bangchanswolfpelt]

Kinktober Day 11: When the Wolf Comes Home

for @d0mgyu 💕; thank you for ruining my life with jealous brother Gyu 😭

cannot believe on my life I'm about to ask for this but I just saw the prompts for day 11 and ngl my brain is going feral at the idea of your brother Beomgyu getting jealous of your fwb/boyf so he just starts masturbating in shared spaces in the house for you to catch him/wearing almost no clothes and eventually after teasing you and building up the tension for a while he just fucks the shit out of you before a date or something. I get mean dom jealous energy from him

brb gonna go cry

cw: dirtbag older brother!Gyu; younger sister!reader; reader has a vulva; no barrier protection used; incest; voyeurism; exhibitionism; masturbation; casual sibling rough housing (throwing things, bruises, etc.); mutual masturbation; vaginal fingering; vaginal sex; rough sex; creampie; photography; Gyu bulldozing past a lot of boundaries, but reader is reluctantly into it

wordcount: 5,592 words

this is late and stupidly long because i tried to write something resembling plot and i'm apparently SO BAD at editing 😭

Beomgyu knows you have your boyfriend over, but he also knows that you're a 'good girl', the kind of girl who looks down her nose at things she thinks are too messy—so he doesn't pay any mind to the hushed voices drifting from the living room, muffled by the noise of the television. He's just about to step out of the hall when the screen brightens and he catches sight of movement on the couch.

He should move. He should say something rude and ruin whatever mood your idiot boyfriend's clumsily cultivated. He should turn around and walk away. He should do anything but stay and watch as his sister gets fingered on the living room couch, but his feet feel glued to the floor.

You don't even really look like you're enjoying it—Beomgyu recognizes the furrow in your brow from long nights of essay-writing and it makes him want to walk over and smack your boyfriend's hands out of the way, makes him want to pull you in close and take care of you, makes him want to see what your face looks like as you cum—but he doesn't have to wait long to see your hips jerk up violently, your little feet digging into the cushions of the couch as your mouth falls open in a soundless whine.

The walk back down the hall is the longest it's ever been, his ears filled with too much static to even notice how quiet he is or isn't being as he makes his escape. Once he's safely behind his bedroom door, he slides down against it like a puppet with its strings cut, knees weak with the realization that his cock rock hard and throbbing in his shorts.

If Beomgyu takes it in his hand right then and there, if he jerks himself off to the thought of you with your legs spread, eyes scrunched shut and lips parted as your orgasm shudders through your body, if he cums with tears in his eyes as he swallows down his sister's name—

Well. That’s no one’s fucking business but his own.

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽

Beomgyu’s in a shit mood for the rest of the week and refuses to think about why. There’s a restlessness buzzing under his skin, his hands hands itching to throw a punch, but there’s no one worth fighting so he finds a different way to work it out.

He brings home a girl he knows is gonna be nice and loud for him, makes sure to fuck her against the wall he shares with you. He doesn’t know what he wanted from you, but your disdainful little sneer across the breakfast table the next morning isn’t it.

“Keep it down next time, Gyu. Seriously, I have morning classes, and I don’t need to hear that.”

“Are you sure?” He leans back in his chair, legs spread, covering his irritation with a leer. “Maybe you and your little boyfriend could learn something if you did.”

“Ugh. Gross.” You punctuate your disgust with a slam of the fridge door, and Beomgyu almost thinks the conversation is over when you whirl around just at the door. “Even if you can’t be considerate, you should at least care about getting caught. Idiot.”

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽

Beomgyu’s never really paid much attention to what he wears around the house, but he starts leaving his shirt off, just to see what you do. He’s put on muscle since he started working backstage, and frankly, he knows he’s better looking than most of the shitty little boys who hang off you. Leaving his shirt off eventually turns into leaving pants off as well, sprawling out on the couch and loitering in the kitchen in just his boxers.

He doesn’t know what he’s trying to do, really, besides get a reaction out of his prissy little sister. It annoys him, that you act like you’re so above it all, when he knows now that you’re not actually better than him.

(But that’s not true either, because one of you is getting off to the thought of their sibling spread out and fucked open for them, and he’s pretty sure it’s not you.)

▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽▲▽

The thing is, though, that you know he saw you.

You hadn’t heard the creak of the door opening, too caught up in chasing down fleeting hints of pleasure, but you’d heard footsteps in the hall. Just as you’d been about to push your boyfriend off you, you’d glanced up through shuttered lashes to see your brother already there, standing just outside the room.

The sight of him froze you like a deer in the headlights—draped in shadow, he was little more than a silhouette, taking up most of the entrance—you’re not sure when he got so tall, or so broad. Light from the TV screen caught his eyes for just a moment—narrowed and dark, focused in a way you can’t remember seeing in a long time. His gaze sparked across your skin like static electricity—reminded you of when he used to scoot across the carpet and shock you on purpose, and if you weren’t preoccupied with the pleasure suddenly rocking through your body, you might have laughed.

It was the hardest you’d ever cum in your life.

You don’t think about that.

You try really hard to not think about that, but Beomgyu won’t fucking let you.

The thing is that your brother is stupid and impulsive and you know he hasn’t taken more than half a minute to think this through. The thing is that you know he’s the one who’s going to get in trouble when you get caught.

So here you are, gritting your teeth and turning the volume on your headphones up as you try to ignore the sound of his moans through your shared wall. You have papers to write, projects to finish, and a normal life to live—sticking your hand down your shorts and getting yourself off to the sound of your brother about to cum one room over does not factor into that.

(You do it anyways, but only because his jack-off sessions are absurdly long and there’s only so many ways to pass the time. That’s what you tell yourself as you try to imagine fingers longer than yours, more callused than yours, creeping down the front of your underwear. You just don’t have anything better to do, besides think about the way the muscles in his arms flex when he crosses them across his upsettingly broad chest, the way his boxers hang low on his narrow hips. It doesn’t mean anything if when you finally cum around your fingers, you’re thinking about dark eyes and a mean smile.

You’re not fooling yourself, but that’s not the point.)

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The first time Beomgyu left the bathroom door open, it was an accident—but the way you yelled and slammed the door when you walked in on him guaranteed that it was going to be very intentional every time he showered after.

He’d honestly forgotten to lock the door the first time, didn’t even realize the door was creaking open until you were yelling and slamming it behind you. It’s over as soon as he’s realized it happened, but you indignant shouts make him grin; the thought of it happening again has him leaning back against the cool tile of the shower wall, taking his cock in his hand and stroking himself off as he imagines dragging you under the spray with him, your hair plastered down with water and your face flushed with surprise and anger. When he cums, it’s with the image of you on your knees for him, wet clothes clinging to your body as he paints your lips and cheeks white with his release.

The second, maybe even the third time, might be an accident on your part—but by the third time, Gyu’s pretty sure it’s intentional. You should know by now to listen for the shower, and though your yelling is as loud and heated as the first time, you don’t even bother to feign surprise anymore.

He used to be pretty ambivalent about getting off in the shower, but it quickly becomes one of his favorite places—knowing that you could walk in at any moment, that you will walk in knowing that he’s wet and naked, gets him harder than anything ever has in his life. Sometimes just the possibility is enough to get him off, thinking about all the things he could do to you if you walked in, but the best days are when you beat him to it, barging in before he’s even worked himself up for you.

The first couple times, Beomgyu tries to keep it under the radar, biting his lip to hold back his moans, angling himself so that not even his silhouette through the glass would give him away. It’s only a matter of time before he slips up, though, a groan escaping him as you chatter about everything your friends have done to piss each other off. He hopes the quiet clatter of—whatever it is you’re doing at the sink—is enough to cover the sound, but your rambling stutters to a halt, the bathroom suddenly silent save for the rush of water around him.

He waits, chest tight with anticipation, hand gripping his cock almost painfully, for you to start yelling, for you to storm out. The silence stretches on for too long until—you’re picking your rant back up again, charging ahead with all the subtlety of a bulldozer, and he can’t hold back the grin that splits his face, heart stuttering back to life in his chest.

You know what he’s doing. He knows you know what he’s doing, and you’re staying.

It takes no time at all for Beomgyu to cum, the sound of your voice sweet in his hears as he bites his lip hard enough to taste iron. He watches his cum spatter against the shower floor, your words still drifting over the shower door but barely audible over the rush of blood in his ears, lungs burning like he’d just run a mile. It takes just a moment for him to catch his breath, fingers flexing against frosted glass, before he’s tuning back into the conversation like a good older brother.

“I don’t know why you hang out with any of them, they’re all bitches.”

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“Is that a new tablet?”

You take a second to sneer up at your brother, before returning promptly to avoiding his gaze as he flops down on the couch, closer than he needs to be, legs spread and arm hooked around the back of the couch.

“Apparently it’s easier for dad to bribe me than to just tell you to close the damn door when you shower.“

“You know, an open door’s an invitation.” You don’t have to look to know the exact expression on his face, the sleaze of his grin so thick you can hear it in his voice.

"Gross.” You shoulder him and it doesn’t budge him so much as a centimeter. You’re still annoyed at how solid he is now—when did that even happen?

“What are you doing?”

“Just coloring in an old sketch of Toto.”

“It looks good.” The arm draped along the back of the couch drops down to pull you closer and you yelp indignantly as the movement causes your pen to jerk haphazardly.

“Don’t—you’re gonna make me mess up—”

The rumble of Beomgyu’s laughter reverberates from his chest, warming you from the inside out, and the elbow you dig into his stomach is half-hearted at best.

You stay like that, focused stubbornly on practicing your shading and not on the way he nuzzles the top of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair with deep, steady inhalations. You could get up and leave, but you were here first—at least, that’s what you tell yourself as you relax into the warmth of his arms.

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It’s only a matter of time before Beomgyu decides that, if you’re going to keep coming in while he’s showering, it must be fine if he does the same.

The first time he interrupts your shower, you throw a bottle of conditioner hard enough that he’s sporting a bruise across his shoulder blade for over a week—you know because he’s still refusing to wear shirts around the house. It’s almost normal, though, how casually shitty he is about it; barging in to do mundane things like brush his teeth or ask you what kind of dumplings you want for dinner. It’s so close to normal that you almost settle into a sort of complacency, only jumping a little when the door swings open—then nearly jumping out of your skin as the shower door slides open and Gyu reaches in.

“What are you doing?” you squawk, torn between scrambling against the far wall of the shower and grabbing his arm and twisting.

“I left my razor in here, I just need to grab it.” He’s laughing as he fumbles along the shower caddy, and if you didn’t think you’d take the whole precarious set-up down, you’d throw your conditioner at him again.

“Get out! You don’t need your razor that bad!” Your voice bounces off the shower walls, so shrill it hurts your own ears, but it just makes him laugh harder.

“I don’t know why you’re freaking out,” Beomgyu taunts, long fingers finally wrapping around his razor handle. “You know it’s nothing I haven’t seen before!”

Your brother’s parting words earn him another bottle flung past the shower door, but he blocks it with a well-timed swing of the door, and you’re left with your heart racing as the water goes cold around you.

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Some nights, you just hear Beomgyu practicing in his room, the meandering strains of his guitar drifting through the wall to underscore the click-clack of your keyboard as you work. There’s something comforting about it; you’ve both always been night owls.

Nights like these, you almost feel normal.

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“I heard you last night.”

You don’t have to turn around to know there’s a smirk curling your brother’s lips as he pens you in against the counter, hooks his fingers in your belt loops to tug at them with a soft chuckle.

His name had slipped the night before, when you’d had three fingers buried in your cunt, soaking the sheets beneath you and still desperate for more. You’d spent the rest of the night with your face buried miserably in your pillow, hoping desperately that he hadn’t heard. So much for that.

“C'mon, let’s play mommy and daddy.” The words send a shiver up your spine, and his laugh in your ear is low, dirty and mean—Beomgyu’s pressed too close to miss the reaction he got out of you, so close you can feel him against the small of your back, hot and hard through the thin cotton of his boxers.

Then the slam of a car door echoes from outside—your dad is home and your pulse skyrockets. You’re twisting in his arms without thinking, shoving at chest as if you had any chance at all of moving him.

“Get—go—get out—go to your fuckin’ room,” you hiss furiously. “If dad sees you—”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” His tone is light, but you don’t miss the way his footsteps quicken as he moves out of sight.

It’s only moments after that the door is swinging open, your dad calling out, and it’s time for you to flip on your best impression of a normal, sane daughter. Even from the other room, though, Beomgyu just can’t leave you be. Your phone buzzes and you have to resist the urge to slam it on the counter, screen-side down, when you see your latest message.

cum up :))

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When he opens the door for you, he’s wearing nothing but a lazy grin; you barely take him in before you’re glancing down the hall with not a little bit of panic. Before you can back out, though, long fingers are wrapping around your wrist, tugging you into a room you haven’t been inside in—god, it feels like years. There’s no time to compare it to your memory before Beomgyu’s pushing you onto the bed and clambering on with you.

He brackets your thighs with his own, sitting back on his heels so he can look down on you. You’ve seen so much of him already—too much of him—but the sight of his tented boxers doesn’t compare to the reality of his naked cock jutting from his narrow hips.

You aren’t prepared for the size of it, thick and heavy between his slim thighs, for the way it twitches and bobs under your gaze. You aren’t prepared for the way you want to wrap your hand around it to see if it even fits all the way around, for the way you want to run your tongue along the veins, suck the narrow, ruddy head of it into your mouth. You definitely aren’t prepared for the rush of heat between your legs when he wraps a hand around the base, for the way your can feel your core pulsing with want as he gives himself one slow, lazy stroke.

“Why are you doing any of this?”

“Why are you letting me?” You’re not sure if the fact that you don’t have an answer for him is more infuriating than it is embarrassing.

Beomgyu doesn’t kiss you. You’re grateful (you think)—your heart is already trying to beat its way out of your ribcage, and if he—you’re sure you’d implode.

His hands cup your face, squishing your cheeks into a pout that you try to squirm out of, before they’re sliding down—one hand curling around your jaw, his thumb brushing feather-light across your lips, while the other rests tenderly over your throat. You swallow, and his eyes go dark as the muscles and tendons of your throat shift under his palm. He tightens his grip just a little, taking in the way your breath catches and your hips jerk beneath him with delighted fascination.

The hand over your throat squeezes just a little more, for just a moment, then it’s ghosting down to span your collarbones, skating around to skim along your side. His hands find your hips and his touch gets firmer, thumbs digging into the plush of your thighs, too close and not close enough to where you want him most. Your breath catches as they tease along the inside of your thighs, move back up to rub circles over your hips, his touch warm through the thin material of your pajamas.

You want to cover your face, hide away as you feel yourself get wetter, warmer under his touch, but you’ve never been able to back down, especially not to Gyu. He holds your gaze challengingly, reaching up just under the hem of your shirt to snap at your waistband, laughing your startled gasp is followed by an indignant huff.

“So cute…” The low rumble of his voice has your stomach flipping even as you want to pull his hair like a brat.

Blunt nails sneak up your shirt, raking lightly up your sides, and your thighs clench involuntarily at the sensation. When he stops at the band of your bra, you shiver, suddenly painfully aware of the precipice he’s dragged you both to. There are a million reasons not to do what you’re doing right now, but pinned down by his dark, focused gaze, you can’t seem to think of a single one of them.

With his hands still up your shirt, calloused fingers tapping along your sides as though he’s counting your ribs, he leans forward with consideration in his gaze. The shift brings his cock down to rest against the apex of your thighs, and if you just rolled your hips up—

Beomgyu laughs as your hips jerk up under him, held down by the immovable weight of his body, and suddenly his nails are raking back down your sides harshly as he sits upright again.

“Gyu—fuck, Gyu, please—” Your voice is choked and whiny, hands knotted in the sheets beside you.

“’Please’ what?” He’s impossibly smug as he reaches up to pinch your cheek, laughing when you only look up at him sulkily. “If you aren’t gonna tell me what you want, I can’t help you.”

Your panties are sticky against your skin, the wet slide of them as you press your thighs together burning you up with shame so hot, you feel it warming your cheeks and stinging behind your eyes. Slowly, gently, he uncurls your fingers from his sheets, lifts your hand to his mouth and presses a gentle kiss to your palm, then sets your hand down firmly over your core.

You don’t even slide your hand into your pants, just start grinding your palm down against your throbbing clit, tears spilling over your cheeks as you feel your arousal soak through the flimsy cotton of your pajamas, your pussy clenching down pathetically around nothing. The sight of long fingers wrapped around the heft of his cock, the sound of rough strokes, wet with precum, filling your ears even when you squeeze your eyes shut—it makes you ache for him. You want him so badly, want him inside of you, but the words stop up at your throat, only soft, choked sobs escaping your mouth.

Gyu curls over you, wiping away your tears with the rough pad of his thumb, and you’re hit with a sudden flash of memory—being six and crying over a scraped knee, Gyu bending over you to kiss your bloodied skin and catch the tears from your eyes with grimy fingers. It’s such a perverse mirror—what you two are, what you should be—you can’t explain why your body chooses then to reach its peak, chest heaving and feet digging into his rumpled sheets as every nerve in your body sparks like a livewire.

The sight of your little hand moving between your legs, hearing the proof of you staining your adorably patterned pajamas, already had him right on the edge—finally seeing you cum again, for him this time, drags him over with you. He pushes your shirt up just enough to expose your belly, watches as his cum spatters against your soft skin, pools in your bellybutton and drips down your sides.

Your eyes are wide and glassy as he grabs one of his own shirts to clean you up, but you giggle when he dips into your bellybutton, legs kicking out weakly as his fingertips skate up your sides playfully. Neither of you says anything as he heaves himself off of you, collapsing back down on his bed as you sit up and stretch, and it’s a strange, tentative sort of peace.

When you get up to go, Beomgyu snatches up your hand, and for a moment you think he’s going to ask you to stay—but he just lifts your fingers to his mouth with a leering grin.

“Don’t be gross,” you snap, snatching your hand away.

“Can I at least have your panties?”

“Fuck off.”

(When he goes into the bathroom later, your underwear is folded neatly on the counter, still damp with your cum.)

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You’re annoyed before you even open your door—your dad is at work, so you already know it’s Beomgyu, and you’re too frazzled to want to deal with whatever he has in store for you.

What he has in store for you is—not what you expected. There’s a tray in his hands with plate of gimbap and a two cartons of strawberry milk. He’s even wearing pants.

“You haven’t eaten anything in at least eight hours. Here.” The tray is in your hands and Gyu’s bolting down the hall before you can say anything. The gimbap’s halfway to falling apart, but it tastes exactly the way your mom made it when you were a kid. If you cry a little, curled up at your desk with the taste of strawberries on your tongue, no one can prove that.

Gyu’s loitering in the kitchen when you bring the plate out, trying to look as busy as a person can when they’re watching water boil for cup ramen.

“You’re doing fine, y’know.” His voice is gruff as he says it, pointedly avoiding your gaze, but the verbal acknowledgment of the fact that you might be anything but perfect still has you bristling.

“‘Fine’ isn’t good enough,” you snap, dropping your dish into the sink with a clatter. You’re ready to get into it right then and there, in the middle of the kitchen, in front of his cup ramen.

You’re not ready for big, strong arms wrapping around you, for a broad chest warm against your back as a sharp chin coming down on the crown of your head with a rude thump.

“Who cares about ‘good enough’? You know we’re gonna love you no matter what.”

If you cry in the kitchen a little, well. Your big brother’s an idiot, but he’s always been pretty good at keeping a secret, when it counts.

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The house is too quiet; with Beomgyu out for the night, the silence echoes in your ears more oppressively than any off-key guitar practice. That’s the only reason you’re awake to hear your bedroom door slowly creak open.

You smell the beer on him before the weight of his body thumps down on your bed, rocking you into him as his arms settle around you. You freeze up in disbelief—is this how it’s going to happen?

But he just curls around you, knees coming in to tuck behind yours, the comforter still tucked around your form as he sniffles in your hair.

You wake up to sunlight streaming through your blinds and an empty bed. When you finally shuffle into the kitchen, your brother’s in his boxers, making toast with bleary eyes and tousled hair, and it’s like nothing ever happened.

Nothing did happen, you guess.

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At some point, you let yourself actually think about things, and everything comes together to make a horrible kind of sense. The way you’ve never liked any of his girlfriends. The way he’d fistfight any guy who looked at you twice. The way you don’t wear any perfume but the one he bought your for your graduation. The way he keeps jerking off in the living room.

That’s when you call your boyfriend.

You can’t keep doing this.

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It’s like the volume of your emotions has been turned down. You pick out your nicest outfit, and it feels like choosing what to wear for a job interview. Gyu comes by as you’re doing your makeup, pauses to loiter in the door as you brush your mascara on.

“What are you doing?” There’s nothing mocking or demanding about his tone, just curiosity, and it makes something funny tighten in your chest.

“I’m going out.”

“Going out where?”

“It’s none of your business.” There’s no heat in the way you snap, eyes focused steadily on your own reflection, and you think that might be the end of it—until your phone starts buzzing its way across the counter and he snatches it up, brows raising when he sees who’s calling.

"Seriously?”

You don’t have a chance to answer before Beomgy snatches up your wrist in a bruising grip and drags you to his room, door slamming shut as he pins you against it. His grip on your shoulders is hard enough to feel in your sockets, his mouth tight with fury, and you realize—this is the angriest you’ve seen him since—

"I’m right here. I’m. Right. Here.”

You reach up to tangle a hand in his hair, a curl of satisfaction winding its way through your veins as his eyes widen, before you drag his mouth down to yours.

It’s the worst kiss you’ve ever had. It’s the best kiss you’ve ever had.

Teeth clash against yours, the growl rising in his throat trapped by your mouth as you nip his lower lips sharply, his tongue exploring every corner of your mouth with a rude intensity. His hands are all over you, trying to be everywhere at once—jerking your clothing out of the way without bothering with buttons or zippers, and the rending of fabric just makes you both more frantic.

You’re still trying to work his infuriatingly tight pants down his hips—you can’t believe Gyu chose today of all days to wear clothes—when your underwear drops to the floor in shreds, his fingers sliding through the arousal already collecting along your folds. When his callused thumb circles your clit, you gasp and arch into the touch, yanking at his belt pathetically.

“How’s that feel, baby? Is it good? Is it better than the way your little boyfriend plays with you?” His breath is hot in your ear as he teases your entrance with a single finger, laughing as he can feel your muscles clenching down, trying to pull him in.

“Good—it’s good, so good,” you gasp out, rolling your hips forward to try and urge him further in.

“Hmmm, is it better, though?”

“Better, so much better, please Gyu, please.” You’re babbling, you don’t even care how dumb you sound for him, not when the prospect of him finally being inside of you is so close.

When he finally sinks into you, two long, calloused fingers that slide in like they were meant to be inside you, it’s like the last perfect slide of a rubiks cube. Your head thunks back against his door, your body shuddering under him as an animal whine claws it’s way out of you. He adds a third finger and your pussy swallows it up greedily, his thrusts growing rougher as he curls his fingers inside of you, tapping directly onto your clit mercilessly.

You’re sososoclose, your orgasm rushing up onto you like the drop of a waterfall, until Beomgyu yanks it out from under you, fingers sliding out of you just as you’re ready to tip over the edge. The sudden, painful emptiness rips a wail out of you, your nails scrabbling along his hips and leaving trails of red along his skin. Your kitten-claw desperation has him huffing with laughter, hoisting you up against the door to wrap your legs around his waist, pulling his cock out to press against your swollen lips.

“C’mon, baby, tell me what you need.”

“Need you, Gyu, need you so bad,” you plead, hands gripping his shoulders as you try to grind up against him, try to get even the slightest big of friction against your neglected clit.

“You’ve got me, baby, what’s wrong?” He’s breathless, but still so meanly smug as he keeps your hips pinned in place, stroking your hair from your eyes tenderly even as laughs at your neediness. “C’mon, my baby sister just needs to tell me what she needs and I’ll take care of her.”

“I need your cock, please—” You’ve barely got the admission out before he’s pushing into you, impaling you on his unforgiving length. The deeper he goes, the more you seem to stretch around him, the ache of emptiness replaces with the gentle burn of being stuffed just beyond what you can take. He pulls out carefully, the drag of his curved head along your walls lighting you up with pleasure, watching you carefully as he presses back in to the hilt with one slow, steady thrust.

Your heels dig into the small of his back, hips arching up to meet his, and it’s all it takes for the last of his fraying self-control to snap—one hand twisting in your hair, tugging your head back to bare your throat to him, while the other cups the curve of your ass and squeezes. The sting of your scalp is the only warning you get before he’s driving into you furiously, burying his face in your neck as his hips work with hard, desperate thrusts.

You tangle your own hands in his hair, less in retaliation and more to have something to cling to, the strands silky and dry as you twist your fingers into it. A sharp, unconscious tug has his teeth digging into you, pain blossoming bright and hot at the tender base of your neck. You pull again, deliberate and delighted when you feel his teeth catch on your skin again, followed by lips and tongue moving over the abused skin tenderly.

The sweetly cruel contrast of pleasure thrumming through your care and pain lighting up along your skin is the last thing you need for you body to let go, muscles tightening around him as your release claws its way out of you, dragging him down with you. You’re so wet and hot around him, you barely feel his cum filling you up as he empties into you with jerky, uneven pumps.

Beomgyu cradles your limp frame in his arms, resting you against his broad chest as you catch your breath, only to carry you to his bed and dump you unceremoniously onto the mess of his bedding. You’re too sore and satisfied to be annoyed, rolling over to smile up at him dopily. When you look up, he’s turning back with his camera in hand, pushing you back down against his comforter with a gentle hand and a sharp smile.

You’re too far gone to object, to even want to object, as he snaps picture after picture of you half-naked and wrecked for him, eyes glassy and cum dripping from your puffy hole. With every soft ‘click’ of the shutter, sparks shiver up your spine.

There’s no going back after this.

[novafire-is-thinking]

Behind the Playlist - Transformers: Prime Edition (Part 11 of 22: Megatron)

Link to the other posts in my Behind the Playlist series

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One either loves Megatron or fears him. Or both. It was easy to find songs that fit his character arc. I present to you a playlist fit for a delusional gladiator-turned-warlord.

Intended overarching themes and/or qualities: World-shaking Ambition, Poisoned Motives, Violent Striving

My personal favorite(s) from this playlist: Stand Alone, Call Me Fighter, Warpath, and The Call

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Full song list and explanations under the cut:

Believer by Imagine Dragons

This one is so fitting that it could have been one of Megatron’s speeches as a gladiator on the rise.

Here We Come by Tiger Drive

Here they come. They call themselves “Decepticons.” And they’re bringing war because fighting is all they’ve known.

Rule the World by Zayde Wølf

“So we'll keep on starting the fires / Thinking we'll smoke out the liars / We don't give up when we're tired / That isn't the way that I'm wired

Someday, someday / We're gonna rule the world / I know someday / We're gonna rule the world / Counting down to explosion / I hear the moment approaching / Someday, someday / We're gonna rule the world”

Legend by The Score

“Here we go, here we go / It's my turn to make history / Here we go, here we go / When I'm gone they'll remember me, yeah

A dreamer with the fever to be great was all I ever want / Was all I ever wanted / A fighter with the fever for the fame was all I ever want / Was all I ever wanted”

Shakedown by The Score

“The scars from the fights that came through the years / Are constant reminders of what got me here / All those nights alone / They were the start of something great now / Here comes the shakedown”

Stand Alone (feat. Zayde Wølf) by Generdyn

Before he’d gained a following, Megatron may have felt as if he was alone in the fight to bring change, starting with the gladiatorial pits. That didn’t stop him though. He had an iron will and was fully confident in his abilities as a fighter.

Going for Greatness by Future Royalty

“This is my time / I’ve waited long enough / I’m taking my moment / Don’t matter how it was, no regrets / No matter how hard it gets / I’m going for greatness”

Call Me Fighter by Matt Beilis

“The sun is gone / I'm holdin' on / Swallowed up in the fires / But don't call me broken, just call me fighter / A life of pain wrapped up in chains / Still, my dream burns brighter / Don't call me broken / Just call me fighter”

Empires by Ruelle

“A storm is coming / Desire burns / A war is calling / The tides are turned / Empires rise / Empires fall / We live or die / To take the throne / Only one will stand at the end of it all”

Optimus: “One shall stand.”

Megatron: “And one shall fall.”

Warpath by Tim Halperin, Hidden Citizens

“Time is running out / Time can't stop me now / The world may live or die / But I will rise

I'm on the warpath / I'm on the warpath / Yeah, I'm on the warpath / I'm on the warpath

Hear it on the wind / The battle cry within / At my core / I know what I'm fighting for”

Megatron fell to a point where he no longer cared if the worlds he battled on thrived or died as he was chasing Optimus across the stars. Megatron thought he knew what he was fighting for, but he lost sight of it a long time before he reached Earth.

Insurrection - Instrumental by Tommee Profitt

insurrection: (n.) a violent uprising against an authority or government.

Start a War by Klergy, Valerie Broussard

“So you wanna start a war / In the age of icons / So you wanna be immortal / With a loaded gun / So you wanna start a war, war”

“Yes, Primus. I would like to start a war. Oops, I poisoned you. Brb, lemme go chase down and kill my former brother-in-arms since I’m really mad at him. Then I’ll come back and see what I can do about fixing the planet. Actually, maybe I’ll just keep conquering other planets to satisfy my power-hungry spark.” - Megatron (probably)

Turns You Into Stone by Tommee Profitt, Fleurie

“Dreamer trapped by your desires / Turns you into stone / The light you stole / River turns to dust / Miles on the run / Everywhere you go / Can't find no home / All the world you roam / Turns you into stone”

Optimus: “I am but a soldier, Megatron. And you… are a prisoner of your own twisted delusions!”

No Mercy by UNSECRET, icetope

“War is fury / There's no mercy / No mercy / No mercy

No end to the hunger / When it's glory that you crave / The dark pulls you under / 'Cause there's always more to take”

Mountain (feat. Rhett Walker) by Generdyn

Overconfident much?

The Call by League of Legends, 2WEI, Louis Leibfried, Edda Hayes

“For the beat and the broken / For the lost and forsaken / Let us never surrender / May we rise unto the call

For the beat and the broken / For the lost and forsaken / Let us never surrender / For the glory and the fall”

I love this song for so many reasons. This is the Megatron who once fought for a worthy cause—to throw off oppression and demand a just system. I put this song on the playlist for Optimus as well; it fits both of them and emphasizes the bond they once shared when they were working toward the same goal.

Untamable by Hidden Citizens, Tim Halperin

“This appetite it might consume me / I set my sights, no stopping now / Rush of reckless running through me / And time is running out / Oh, it's running out

And there's nowhere left for you to hide / Once the day becomes the night / There's nowhere left for you to hide

Untamable, unshakeable / When the lights go down, the beast comes out to play”

Enemy by Tommee Profitt, Beacon Light, Sam Tinnesz

Megatron became a ruthless enemy of many. This song perfectly conveys the perspective of those enemies.

✧ ✧ ✧

Notes:

This post series is in alphabetical order. Next up are Miko Nakadai and Optimus Prime.

As I add more songs to the playlist, I’ll update this post.

[stormyoceans]

[VICE VERSA episode 8 parts 3&4]

Tess is such a bitch lmao

So… this is awkward

“Mek looks like someone I liked” the casual queer-friendlyness in this show makes me want to cry

Also side note: I really appreciate that Puen doesn’t get legit jealous learning this because that trope is utter garbage for how possessive and unreasonable it makes a character look

“How DARE you not like me back then when we didn’t even know each other” yeah no fuck off

Appreciate that Puen’s being honest about Mek’s intentions right away rather than keeping it a secret for some flimsy reason

“Let’s try to trust him” seems like a risky call given how big his hate-boner for Tess is

“Do you have a problem?” “yes, I could be riding Puen right now instead of having to look at your damn face”

ALESSANDRO MAHMOUD?????

Don’t fucking touch him

“Our characters don’t click” that’s because one of you is a nice person and sadly it’s the fictional one

He’s wearing his “just quit” shirt again, following your own advice my guy

Omg Talay fucking insulted Mek asjkdlfj

I know I’d probably be on Mek’s side if Tess was still himself and the show’s giving us a very biased pov since we’ve all grown to like Talay /and/ I’m all for revenge after being wronged but yeah I can’t help it, this guy’s a dick

CATS!!!!!!!!!!

The orange one looks so confused, the poor thing

“Are you a cat lover?” ANSWER THE QUESTION

Cakes all over this episode for some reason

TAWAN????? *raging war flashbacks*

I’m sorry but all I’m looking at is the cats

The grey one must feel really comfortable since it’s letting Jimmy hold it like a baby! The way Sea’s holding his is plain wrong though…

This poor guy must be like “what is wrong with this lady”

“If it’s not this cat, I won’t be director” how petty is this bitch

TESS HAS NOT ONLY ONE BUT /TWO/ PEOPLE INEXPLICABLY LIKING HIM????

“I’m going back to liking him” Puen to himself: “brb gotta check if there’s enough budget left to hire an assassin”

T&P: let me have a tasty 0% drink as I think it over

“My mood is just cloudy grey” ROLLLL CREDI–

I see you smiling after Puen touched your belly Talay

But also what is this whole scene

I mean, mirroring each other would be the perfect excuse to kiss…….

Oh? OH????

GO FUCK YOURSELF TALAY

Mek went back to liking him real fast, holy shit

“GREYLLERY”??? THAT’S NOT EVEN A PUN

Puen being jealous here is completely different from what I mentioned earlier, here I actually get it even if jealousy is never a good thing

Puen literally RUNNING to join Talay alkdskld

It makes me sad how sad Puen looks

DON’T LEAVE!!

Puen listening to the perfect sad music to fuel his broken heart

Talay, c’mon, can you really not figure out what’s bothering him?

Grabbing his cheeks omg

“I haven’t even seen your face, yet I like you” MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was worried Talay was gonna blow it after Puen showed so much vulnerability but THIS IS GREAT, I’M SO HAPPY

FINALLY!!!!!!

Take that, Mek, you little bitch

Also is this the right time to bring up that they are using other people’s bodies to make out……..

Tess is such a bitch lmao <<<<< HE'S REALLY ALWAYS BEEN THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE JUST DITCHING HIS FRIENDS AND BRAGGING ABOUT STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S CRUSHES AND THEN HE GOES AND COMPLETELY RUINS TALAY'S LIFE AND /STILL/ IS A TOTAL JERKFACE TO TUN IM SORRY BUT THIS IS A TESS HATE ZONE

“Mek looks like someone I liked” the casual queer-friendlyness in this show makes me want to cry <<<<< IT REALLY IS SO NICE i know we've already talked about it in a previous episode but i will never get tired of saying how much i love this. talay says he liked a man before and it's something that can just BE. kita and fuse pretty much know that he likes puen even if he hasn't actually admitted it and they never question it. puen and talay don't have to come out to up and aou because they act lovey dovey once and up and aou just take it in stride and go right into teasing them. and i said it before, but this isn't only a thing in the alternate universe, where same sex marriage is legal, queerness in vice versa just is and it's beautiful

Also side note: I really appreciate that Puen doesn’t get legit jealous learning this because that trope is utter garbage for how possessive and unreasonable it makes a character look // “How DARE you not like me back then when we didn’t even know each other” yeah no fuck off <<<<< REASON NUMBER 9264828648 WHY I LOVE VICE VERSA!!!!!!! other love interests in BLs: you liked someone else? you liked someone else before meeting me? jail for almost-boyfriend! jail for almost-boyfriend for one thousand years!!!!! puen the walking green flag: [uses that as an excuse to hold talay's hand and give him a cheek kiss] LIKE IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY HE IS SIMPLY BUILT DIFFERENT

Appreciate that Puen’s being honest about Mek’s intentions right away rather than keeping it a secret for some flimsy reason <<<<< after what happened in episode 4 puen has been trying so hard to be honest and upfront with talay (except for his name, which is way more about puen's own sense of self rather than any actual malicious intent of hiding stuff from talay), and even when talay tries to deal with everything by himself (like with tess' clothes) he's always the one to remind him that he's not alone and that they're a team and that they can find a solution together!!!! they do have some misunderstandings throughout the show but they never last longer than an episode because they're just SO GOOD AT BEING OPEN AND COMMUNICATING

“Let’s try to trust him” seems like a risky call given how big his hate-boner for Tess is <<<<< puen was trusting the talay effect to work its magic and the talay effect is gonna come through!!!!!!

“Do you have a problem?” “yes, I could be riding Puen right now instead of having to look at your damn face” <<<<< THE WAY I CHOKED ON MY OWN SALIVA THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS COMMENT AND SPENT THE FOLLOWING 10 MINUTES COUGHING MY LUNGS OUT TRYING TO RECOVER SFJKSGFKSGDKSG funny you would mention that though because one of my favorite headcanons is that talay indeed likes to rid-- [GUNSHOT]

ALESSANDRO MAHMOUD????? <<<<< THE DOUBLE TAKE I DO EVERY SINGLE TIME JUST BECAUSE IT FEELS SO WEIRD TO ME THAT PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF ITALY KNOW MAHMOOD TOO

“Our characters don’t click” that’s because one of you is a nice person and sadly it’s the fictional one <<<<< SFJKSGFFKSGDJ YOU AND TALAY ARE BOTH BEING SAVAGES THIS EPISODE AND I LOVE IT

Omg Talay fucking insulted Mek asjkdlfj <<<<< HIS FULL NAME IS TALAY RAWI 'IM A NICE PERSON BUT I WILL CUT A BITCH' LERTPANYA DO NOT TRY HIM (also not to be that person but talay is so hot when he's angry)

I know I’d probably be on Mek’s side if Tess was still himself and the show’s giving us a very biased pov since we’ve all grown to like Talay /and/ I’m all for revenge after being wronged but yeah I can’t help it, this guy’s a dick <<<<< weirdly enough mek is pretty much the only character in the show that im very neutral about. i recognize his narrative purpose because they needed to parallel the pangpuentalay situation in episode 7 to have talay being the one to choose puen this time around, but aside from that i don't really feel much for mek. that being said, i unfortunately have to admit that if i believed the person in front of me was tess, i would be an absolute petty bitch too ;;;;;;;;

TAWAN????? *raging war flashbacks* <<<<< SFJKSGDJGSJDG THE KINNPORSCHE EFFECT

I’m sorry but all I’m looking at is the cats // The grey one must feel really comfortable since it’s letting Jimmy hold it like a baby! The way Sea’s holding his is plain wrong though… <<<<< im pretty sure jimmy actually has a cat while sea has a dog!!!!! which would definitely explain why the cats seem so comfortable with jimmy while sea's idea for putting them at ease is meowing at them sfjksgdj also im never letting go of my puentalay cat dads headcanon!!!!! which is basically talay finding a small stray crying during a stormy night and bringing it home (because if there’s one thing he can’t resist it’s a pair of big sad eyes), and he wasn't really planning for the cat to stay but puen has already named it and now it’s too late. and then one day talay gets home and there are TWO CATS in their living room because puen thought the kitty needed a friend to keep him company while they’re at work so now talay has THREE KITTENS to take care of (yes the third one is puen)

This poor guy must be like “what is wrong with this lady” <<<<< pang really said 'if puen and talay can let their friends be actors in the movie then i can kidnap this random stranger who happens to look like a famous actor in our universe to play in it too'

TESS HAS NOT ONLY ONE BUT /TWO/ PEOPLE INEXPLICABLY LIKING HIM???? <<<<< you've already watched episode 9 so you know mek didn't really mean it but when i watched the show the first time around i remember thinking that at least mek was attracted to tess in the past but hated him because he was an asshole and only started to like him now that he's actually talay (and lbr who wouldn't love talay), meanwhile im still sitting here wondering why the hell tun never stopped being in love with that jerk

“I’m going back to liking him” Puen to himself: “brb gotta check if there’s enough budget left to hire an assassin” <<<<< puen sitting there like 'i should have known the talay effect is too powerful and now i can't even blame this guy because talay IS nice and cute and of course every single person on the planet would fall in love with him i've just played myself once again'

“My mood is just cloudy grey” ROLLLL CREDI– <<<<< me every time a character mentions the title of the episode/show/movie: [points at the screen] THEY SAID THE THING!!!!!!!!!

I see you smiling after Puen touched your belly Talay <<<<< talay tries not to show it but he's just so ridiculously fond and charmed by everything puen does THEY'RE BOTH SO GONE FOR EACH OTHER IM EMBARRASSED FOR THEM

But also what is this whole scene <<<<< IT'S TWO BESTIES BEING RIDICULOUS TOGETHER AND YOU MUST BE TIRED OF HEARING ME SAY THIS BUT IM SO HAPPY THEY CAN BE SILLY AND HAVE FUN TOGETHER LIKE ACTUAL FRIENDS

I mean, mirroring each other would be the perfect excuse to kiss……. // Oh? OH???? // GO FUCK YOURSELF TALAY <<<<< WHEN I TELL YOU TALAY LOVES TO TEASE PUEN WHICH IS GOING TO TRANSLATE TO HIM SEXUALLY FRUSTRATING PUEN TO NO END AFTER THEY GET TOGETHER

Puen being jealous here is completely different from what I mentioned earlier, here I actually get it even if jealousy is never a good thing <<<<< this is just my personal interpretation but I've honestly never read puen as being jealous here, not more than talay was of pang in episode 7 anyway, which was not at all, not really. like puen says, he knows that talay doesn't have feelings for mek, but both him and talay have this fear of being left behind, of not getting to love the person they have feelings for, while also being selfless enough to take a step back if they (mistakenly) believe the other could be happy with someone else. that's why mek was essential as the last step to make puentalay happen, because in ep 7 talay needed puen to choose him, but puen also needed talay to choose him back, and when talay finally does there's nothing standing between them anymore, not even themselves

Puen listening to the perfect sad music to fuel his broken heart <<<<< puen was also listening to music when he was being all sad in episode 6 I JUST LOVE HOW CONSISTENT THIS SHOW IS AND I LOVE PUEN MY MOST BELOVED CRINGEFAIL SAD KITTEN SWEET POTATO DARLING IDIOT

Grabbing his cheeks omg <<<<< not to be incredibly sappy but TALAY IS HOLDING HIS ENTIRE WORLD IN HIS HANDS!!!!!!!

“I haven’t even seen your face, yet I like you” MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! // I was worried Talay was gonna blow it after Puen showed so much vulnerability but THIS IS GREAT, I’M SO HAPPY // FINALLY!!!!!! <<<<< THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS IN ANY HUMAN LANGUAGE TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS ENTIRE CONFESSION SCENE JUST SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP SPINNING COUNTERCLOCKWISE ON THE FLOOR WAILING KICKING HOWLING PASSING OUT. the fact that it happens when the lights are out to emphasize that their feelings aren’t about the bodies they inhabit but about who they are!!!!!! puen being so overwhelmed with emotions he needs to grab talay’s wrist to ground himself!!!!!! the tear falling down puen’s cheek and the ear graze and the hand at the small of talay’s back!!!!!! THE KISS PARALLELING THE ONE IN EP 4!!!!!! and not to be that person again but you can actually hear NOISES under the music!!!!!! and i do love that talay likes to tease puen but they both know when it's time to be serious and honest with each other which is why they communicate so well!!!!!! CAN SOMEONE JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY THIS IS GETTING SO EMBARRASSING

Also is this the right time to bring up that they are using other people’s bodies to make out…….. <<<<< SFJKSGDJSGDKS SHHHH WE KNOW BUT WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT

[akampana]

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 189 - I still have no clue why the lords' sanctuary is used as a grave like okay yeah I do it's mostly symbolic and to grieve but I still think it doesn't make sense. All the other uses? Yeah cool. Grave? Nah, not when purebloods dissipate into red mist when they die. Extremely funny imagining mvp lord picking out a fancy coffin full well knowing he won't leave a corpse though like okay king <3 and I haven't even started on those damn stairs.

- Everytime Rael's being cringe I flash through renditions of memes that cover the general energy of habitual suffering that is simultaneously willing yet forced.

- Tbh as someone who doesn't particularly believe in the whole concept of honourable fighting unless it's sports or agreed upon beforehand by all parties and because they're going against what they perceive as traitors or invaders... Rajak shouldn't be scolding Rael for trying to get rid of the trio.

Chapter 190 - Here they know the traiters were behind the Loyard massacre but later Seira doesn't even think that Zarga may have played a part until he said it himself so what's the truth.

- Really, Rousare having died should make it obvious that Gejutel wasn't involved and prevent all this. At least Ludis has some sense.

- Ah, time for grandpa's trashtalk.

Chapter 191 - It always drives me insane that Raskreia knows jack shit about Frankenstein and Raizel like she really did not give a fuck about them did she lmao? Oh father has sent clan leaders out on an arrest warrant? Oh father asks me to regularly visit this random stranger who he adores often and wishes for him to be lord? Why would I ever wish to learn more about them? Like queen ily but keep track of important events in Lukedonia even before you're lord please.

- I know Gejutel's just bullshitting but like. The traitors having foresight? Sjjsjsis where? Lagus and Roctis yeah sure I get it. But the rest? Ignes literally experimented on ppl in Lukedonia. Urokai, as much as I love him, is definitely the stupid dumbass of the group. Zarga if he had any foresight would have either just stayed on Lukedonia and chilled as a loner or had a heir who he passed Lontrick on to and left Lukedonia to once again chill as a loner since unlike the others he only disagreed with the new ideals rather than wanting to actively murder someone. As for Gradeus... we know he can use his brain but he really turned it off entirely when deciding to install bloodstones huh? Like if all you want to do is fight than becoming that strong even when you're already the strongest around is not gonna be enjoyable. Well then he went cuckoo so whtever. Ofc I do wonder whether his goal went from enjoying fighting to mere murder before or after he was exposed to bloodstones and the same for him massacring his clan since the options have implications.

- And here we are at the "clan leaders should go into eternal sleep with the lord" bullshit. Like sorry but just cos the good guys are the ones spouting it doesn't mean I'll ever agree with it. Like tf. It makes me think immediately of rulers who had their servants buried alive with them, emperors whose harems were killed upon their deaths, wives set fire upon their husbands funerals, etc. It is interesting ofc that even nobles who are very obviously written as the best race in noblesse have such regressive and cruel practices. Much more fascinating to have humans take inspiration from them for both good and bad after all.

- Grandpa really tried to be mean so Raskreia wouldn't feel bad executing him huh. Not that it worked ofc.

Chapter 192 - It's so funny that Raizel changes his clothes to Lukedonia's black and gold upon entering because like, did he feel like the odd one out or something?

- Darling clan leaders, I'll excuse your ignorance and underestimation of the enemy, but esteemed lord please, you should know better.

- Hilarious that Gejutel saw that the current gen had extremely spotty knowledge due to their predecessors being like that ig but instead of fixing that he essentially went "It's none of my business idc idc" and ignored it until it came back to bite him in the ass. Like at least tell the lord about all this pls. She should know what a noblesse is 😭

Chapter 193 - Rip Karias not finding everyone in the throne room. It's like when a class gets changed last minute and you have no clue which new place it's in.

- Raizel just take the earring off normally I swear. Imagine having only one memento from a friend you actually meant to keep but you just tear it apart. I would cry.

- Gejutel being apologetic about making Raizel use his lifeforce... grandpa,,,

Chapter 194 - The fact that Ludis' eyes glow as he sets up the protection for the sanctuary,,, love him.

- Insert 300 page analysis on Raskreia's relationship with being lord and just her in general here. I'm too lazy to type it out so insecurities, lack of communication, lack of clarity, formality and duty leading to distant relationships, etc etc etc.

Chapter 195 - This is so rude 😤

- God Karias' entrance and interactions with everyone,,, the way he fusses over Raskreia openly, the way Rozaria beckons him over, them,,,

Chaoter 196 - "The clan leaders share my thoughts" obviously not with the traitors. Well Roctis may have agreed but Ignes prevented him from all that. Still, even from the other 4 non traitors of Ru, Elenor, Loyard and Mergas, it's very much possible they disagreed but simply kept quiet about their thoughts because how dare they go against the lord? I mean, the track record isn't exactly great and that's just how it is in these sort of systems.

- Well I definitely think the method he decided on was stupid but I do think mvp lord's sentiment was very sweet. And ofc just how he wants the best for Raizel... it makes me sad everytime like he just wants him to be happy and be able to enjoy life and yet. Just how his message always has him with that soft smile for Raizel as he tells him to live a long joyous life... that he wants him to be safe... that he's happy he's been outlived... gonna go cry brb..

Chapter 197 - Yeah just gonna ignore and replace the misogynistic bs they make mvp lord spout with like "Be wary of men; instead of wasting time beating them up see if you have any interest in women instead. Especially if they're not nobles. Only wear what you're comfortable with and don't let anyone pressure you. Remember to train often with swords or your skills will become rusty. Etc etc etc."

Chapter 198 - At least he has earring number 2 ig

- "This house is a little old and needs some renovation" It's great that you're being tactful but Tao we both know that this estate that hasn't had any upkeep for at least 5 centuries needs a hell lot more than a little fixing.

- M-21 just has his priorities straight okay,,, you all do need to change.

- Why did Tao pack aprons and gloves for the trip?

[seoafin]

ok hi hello i was just thinking about ur fic, the most twisted curse, (which is,,,, oscar worthy btw) and i kept going back to the little bit of rip!mc's background story regarding her parents and,,,,, i couldn't help but be like,,, holy shit,,, yuuji kinda has the same thing going on ???? but why i say this is because, rip!mc had smart ass parents that she fully trusted, she believed everything they said, so when her father said it was her fault, i couldn't help but imagine how shattered she must've been. like how she must've carried that burden on her shoulders for years!! feeling like she was the one responsible, she must've felt like she didn't deserve much good things in life (i believe ?? feel free to correct me pls 😭) giving her that guilt of thinking that she's the reason her mom wasn't alive. and w yuuji, he really does have the world on his shoulders!!! it must be so tiring, so hard to deal w. because he also blames himself for all the deaths that happened because of sukuna. feeling like he's the one at fault

and so because of this, i can imagine after the shibuya incident, rip!mc going to yuuji and telling him that it isn't his fault and in the middle of that, she realizes that, it can also be applied to her (brb gonna go cry). just both of them going through this enormous amount of guilt and finally realizing that, it wasn't their fault. ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THIS

YES!!! PARALLELS!!! I love parallels and I really like incorporating them into my writing. I was mainly looking for rip!mc to parallel megumi, but you also make a really good point with yuji. out of the first year trio, the one with the most similarities to rip!mc is actually yuji!!

unlike nobara, megumi, and gojo, yuji doesn’t have an “unhinged” moment in the manga. in that aspect, the more cornered he feels/danger he’s in, yuji enters a state of deadly calm, which makes him all the more terrifying, and that’s where the two of them are alike.

you’re right on the money that rip!mc doesn’t really feel like she deserves good things in life. but it’s also the fact that she’ll spare herself and others pain if she lives as small as possible. no reason to get too involved if there’s ultimately no point. she’s a small push away from realizing that she needs to stop depriving herself of living in the present in fear of hurting people in the future and that there’s more to life than just waiting for death no matter how inevitable it may be!!

[instantbreplay]

So, I was looking on Twitter—horribly toxic place to be, trust me—and, I stumbled upon Bratz! I love Bratz! But, not after the bullcrap I saw.

You can already tell what this is about from the thumbnail alone, and I don't wanna cause any arguments with anybody, but this is my opinion, agree to disagree. The people in the comment section have no clue...what the heck they're talking about. A majority of these guys are like "Oh this isn't targeting children because kids under the age of 10 don't have social media" or "Please, kids aren't that dumb", "Stop crying about it, kids know better". Dude, I have seen my niece's friend with an Instagram and TikTok and she's 9. So, you're gonna say that kids don't have social media? They do. Trust me, I know some that do, and if they are not supervised, they will see the adult stuff or stupid attempts like this and try it. They say these kids aren't dumb, but let's look back at the Tide Pod challenge and that challenge from TikTok where you stick a coin or something metal in a vacant outlet while the other is occupied.

You don't think that they won't attempt something like this? Kids take things seriously from their shows. For example, if a kid watches the Disney show "Dog with a Blog", they'll think dogs can talk, or if toys are actually alive if they've seen Toy Story. Kids have that big of an imagination, so they'll think that if they lit their tongue on fire, they won't get burned and the scorch mark will go away.

Honestly though, there are people who agree with my thoughts, but they're taking things a little too far and overreacting a tad bit. https://twitter.com/tempotemptress/status/1449848835564580873?t=BRaq-dKJVg_OwdvfWEkw-w&s=19

This guy said that yes, that clip is encouraging self-harm because this girl (whatever her name is) is burning her tongue but healed up like she threw down a Yu-Gi-Oh card to get her life points back, making kids think that they can do that too, but no, I doubt from the comment "Killing boyz, brb" is encouraging harm to others. It's just a mere saying that indicates "I'm making boys fall to their knees because I'm so awesome", something like that, not "Oh I'm gonna go murder every guy on the planet". No, nothing like that. It's a stupid comment from Bratz to be funny, but the video? Not funny. What people need to do instead of arguing with people on the internet like children on the playground is to teach and discipline their children better, teach them some common sense instead of letting them have social media and do the dumb stuff they see people on the internet doing. I'm 19, and I don't have kids, but I have a niece and nephew, and I tell them to never attempt the dumb stuff we see in our shows. I have to repeat it and explain to them to make sure they understand that it's either dangerous or wrong. I'll let their mother discipline them if they do bad.

These are purely my thoughts, but I just wanna tell and warn people about this because this can and will happen. This generation is not smart, especially if you allow your child to have social media at a young age, but not only can that happen, but your kids will go throug your social media when you're not looking and see the adult stuff. Be sure to watch them and teach them what's safe and what's dangerous. This isn't a gentle reminder; this is the thing I hate seeing or hearing on the internet. I don't want a mother to lose her child because the stupid things people do on the internet. We can't stop people from posting dumb stuff like that, but we can learn from it alone and teach the kids it's not smart or safe. I'm not mad at anybody, I swear, but please make sure that your kids are safe and watch them because they will do stuff behind your back.

Sorry for the long post, but I felt I needed to say something about this because this is ridiculous.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋