#BOY LOOK AT THIS NOWWWWWWW

[fiendishartist2]

astro boy doodle dump

[highoncatfood]

u were made to love me like you doooo do do do-do

[biioniic-biiohazard]

shaking and screaming and crying while i draw the same furry jpeg at almost five in the morning because toby came into front and started it, hated it for no reason, and then left front because he hated the sketch that much and now me and tom have to finish it because we both actually like it ((because he's fucking insane and looked at the lineart without the sketch for too long))

[umbweon]

i think i wouldnt be as mentally ill if i was just a faggy wolf boy instead of what i look like nowwwwwww

[lagncx]

Head canon karl Heisenberg sting is so me coded

After getting him out the village and you finally getting home to your apartment and see your cat is still up and alive 😺 you sit down and turn on the tv. Chris let’s Heisenberg out his zip-ties ^^ and he immediately looks around ooos and aaas you live in an apartment in New York kinda living. Your tv is big and flatscreen and he’s watching and you see rhea ripely slam some chick and your like “hell yeah!” Heisenberg is immediately hooked the obvious scripted and fun fights are the most entertainment he’s had in years Karl couldn’t believe it rhea was ripped

“You know Alcina could’ve got an awesome job doing this shit” he chuckled.

But it was over when he started watching it everyday. You even got rhea ripley on COD and he squealed like a little girl seeing you play as her.

He loses it when he watches the reels on your phone and sting comes up

“Who is he”

“Sting.”

“Holy shit he looks bad ass”

“Yea..”

“Holy shit he took off his mask! ITS THE SAME FACE 0o0?!?”

“Yea Karl…have you ever seen the crow?”

Karl becomes a movie connoisseur seeing why Moreau wasted his time but you had Karl watch the “good shit” white chicks, stand by me, sandlot, Elvira, Edward scissorhands (made him cry. Cause he wouldn’t stop comparing it to you both), corpse bride, frankenweenie (he couldn’t help but applaud the boy for making a beautiful prototype and bringing back his dog! It reminded him of himself.)

But do not get him started on horror movies he will not agree with anything you say.

To him Jason is so bad ass. Chucky is funny as fuck. Micheal is some superhuman, Pennywise needs to be put on a list, any conjuring movies freak him out cause he hates the yellow text at the end, he loves loves loveees long legs cause he says it’s fucking stupid .

— you drank some orange juice looking at the top “shit, it’s expired…oh well” Heisenberg sashayed his way into the living room “LeMEE innn NOWWWwwww and IT could BeEEEeee niceeee not once not twice but everytimeeeeee!!” He exclaimed his hands going up and down. He smiled walking over to you kissing you

You chuckled “you know I’ve never seen you and Nicholas cage in the same room together” you smiled

“Yea I feel like I’m starting to understand this world. You guys love scaring yourselves” he hummed

“Yea…wanna go to the theatre and see conjuring the devil made me do it?” You smirked seeing his grimace “absolutely not. That shit invites bad spirits babe.” He huffed and walked away quoting another long legs beautiful sonnet

“MUMMMMAYUU DADDDDAAAYY MAKEEEE MEE AND SAVEEEE MEEE FROM THE HELLLL OF LOVVIJNNJGGG!’nl”

—-

Honestly sleeping in a nice bed with you made Heisenberg way less grumpy.

Hot showers with clean water. A pool in the middle of the apartment complex. He loved everything. And going out to eat was scary the first few times but it was worth seeing the world HES been missing. Nothing could take that from him

[bucknastysbabe]

How it started:

How it's going:

Your boy needs a break. 😭

HE IS SO TIRED. Was living his best life terrorizing his twink brother in not law, cuntily riding around, and not dealing with dragons, doing his JOB. Now look he’s back in hell SOMEONE HELP HIM NOWWWWWWW

ARCIE this cracked me up like he’s giving this gif ily

[j0ur3nys-3nd]

Pokemon, Pokepasta AND Doodle world incorrect quotes (ft. Ocs!)

-------------------------------------------------------

Jade, fighting anyone: *normal voice* Oh, Mrs. Ruby- *aggressive voice* KILL THEM! KILL THEM! KILL THEM NOWWWWWWW-

-------------------------------------------------------

Eve: Word associations, go. Holiday!

Quincy, not thinking: Boys.

*Both Eve and Quincy start laughing*

Eve: *Inhale* What the fuck- BOYS????

Quincy: I dunno!-

-------------------------------------------------------

*Umber, Grey and Shinto all just hanging out*

Shinto: Umber, don't overreact but on the corner of the wall, there's a big roach-

Umber: AAAAAAA-

-------------------------------------------------------

Leon, pissed off cus of MissingNo: GH- SHUT UP! *Inhale* I am going to kill the next person I fucking see I swear to god.

Hop: Hello, Hi! I'm so happy to see you!

*MissingNo doubles over from laughter*

-------------------------------------------------------

Blue, talking to Leaf: STOP PUTTING HIM UP THERE!

*Mew on a fridge*

Blue: ONE DAY, HE JUST GONNA SAY "FUCK IT" AND COME DOWN, AND BUST HIS HEAD!

-------------------------------------------------------

*Red and Blue just chilling*

Lunala: Hey! You two should kiss!

-------------------------------------------------------

*Pre-confession*

TJ: Looking for frogs in the mud!

Quincy, mumbling: You are so cute-

TJ: What?

Quincy: What?

[you-hate-time-travel]

@HOMESFUCKED @HOMESFUCKED @homesfucked BOY LOOK AT THIS NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! SO COOL

PROJECT : RAVAGE

[mazojo]

HI YES MITSUBA BETTER BE OKAY I AM-

[ipoxcky]

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT KALIIS ISNT BLACK. MY MANZ AND HIS SISTER ARE A FELLA AND SISTA IN HIDING SOMEBODY CALL DR UMAR BECAUSE LOOK:

this man has:

- a bitch ass daddy

- mama’s boy behavior

- respect towards EVERYONE

- BRAIDS IN HIS MFING HEAD

- calls tyler BROTHER

AND HE CAN FUCKING FIGHT.

THOSE BRAIDS WOULD FALL OUT IF HE DIDNT HAVE THE HAIR TO HOLD THEM. PLUS KALIIS IS THE BLACKEST NAME IVE EVER HEARD. AMIE REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS SLICK WITH THE WHOLE NEW “ALIEN RACE” BS NOPE JUST BLACK WITH A SIDE OF ALIEN HONEYYYYY. also you cant disagree unless you’re black because if you do you’re anti black ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

MY EVIDENCE:

CMON NOWWWWWWW

[tanakavox]

Zwei walk around the store looking for baby supiles for Xing. Yang had ask him to go since and being the good brother he was he did.

He was looking around for the baby food brand Yang had ask for when he hear a throat cleared behind him. He already knew what was up after two encounters and ignored it hoping it would leave if he did. Nope. The karen then grabbed his shoulder and began to squish it. Didn't hurt him but he just wanted to get it done and over with at this point.

Karen:Excuse!

Zwei: (groaning and turing towards the karen.) What?

Karen:Where are the batteries?

Zwei:I'm sorry?

Karen snorted and slowly repeated herself.

Karen:Where. Are. The. Batteries?

Zwei:I. Don't. Know.

Karen:How dare you talk to a paying customer like that?! You little bastard!

Zwei's ears perk up at that. She thought he was a employee? How dumb was this chick? The employees at the store wore large blue shirts that had the store name on it. Zwei was dress in Black and white hoodie and and blue jeans. But something pop in his head. Might as well have fun with this Karen.

Zwei:Well ma'am I'm sorry to tell you but company policy saye that I'm allowed to speak to a customer anyway i want, but only if there's being a complete and utter cunt like yourself. And I can tell them to get out of my face if I please. So uh. Get out of my face you orangutan in lipstick.

The Karen's face went Red with rage and she began to scream in a alien language right in Zwei'a face who grinned the entire time.

Zwei:Oh my. I'm sorry ma'am. Company policy allows me to call you stupidwhen you speak in a language that isnt a language from anywhere. You stupid bitch. Speak an actually language.

The karen attempts to take a swing at Zwei who casually sidesteps it. It was a slow one and yang throw faster punchs at him during training. She falls on to the floor and starts to screams.

Karen:I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED FOR THIS! JUST YOU WATCH! YOU'LL BE GONE! YOU BROKE MY ARM

Zwei look to see it was perfectly fine. Not even a bruise on it.

Zwei:Whatever. I don't even work here. Zwei picks up the rest of the items on Yang's for xing list and goes to check out.

As he was paying for his items and was about to leave the Karen came with what Zwei assumed to be the manager and pointed a finger at him.

Karen:HIM THAT BRAT RIGHT THERE! FIRE HIM! FIRE HIM NOWWWWWWW!

The manager(a woman in her late 30s.) looked pissed but it was replaced with confusion.

Manager:Um ma'am? This boy doesn't work here.

Karen:NO! I KNOW HE DOES! FIRE HIM! HE WAS AWFUL TO ME.

Manager:I can't fire him. He doesn't work here....

The Karen continue to Screech until the manager had to call security to escort her way. Zwei had the dopeist smile one his face as he watch her get throw out and went home with a story to lift Yang's spirits up.

[festivaloftheundead]

AA re-reads SLC - Book 4: Brothers To The Death

-BUT HEY LOOK WE’RE BACK IN VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN WHERE NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN

-Larten is Not Doing Well so the above statement may not apply to him. He drinks, he has nightmares, he wants to kill. But he doesn’t. He’s grown.

-Gavner does tho

-They’re plotting time kill Randel Chayne. Oh boi. Gavner leaves.

-JESUS CHRIST VANCHA WHY DIDNT YOU FINISH THE JOB

-Larten’s hooped aboard the vampaneze Hate Train

-Larten’s out there duelling vampaneze for sport now. I forgot how closely his path looked like Arrow’s at one point.

-Oh shit Larten has war on his mind. Wester gets what he wants and it’s not a good thing

-Larten’s giving anti-vampaneze speeches now OH NO

-SEBA IS DISAPPOINTED YOU LITTLE SHITS HAVE GONE TOO FAR NOW

-BABY ARROW IS FINALLY GETTING HIS THRONE!!! Finally!!!!! He deserves the best. My bald angel. I love him so.

-Does Vancha not drink????? Sorry I’m dumb

-KURDA’S COMING TO TOWN AND HE’S A GENERAL NOWWWWWWW. Go baby go. Don’t forget to stop by Mika’s room on your way in.

-Vancha’s pissed at Larty. Fuckin excellent. GO OFF DUDE. DRAG HIM

-OH JEEZ I FORGOT HE LITERALLY DRAGS HIM!!!!! ITS A FUCKIN BRAWL

-Lmfao Kurda

-They really do beat the shit out of each other for like 4 pages smh

-Paris is absolutely Head Prince In Charge at this point. No matter how well the rest of them do, we all know who really runs the show. Even Mika knows.

[tellywoodtrash]

khkt 19.09.19 lb

how the fuck has this fool gotten away with multiple affairs if he's this bad at sneaking around? lol, what a loser.

"tu iss waqt yahaan?”, he asks his brother standing in front of his own damn house. mensa candidate of the year, this one.

"main bohut confused hoon."

"aaaah. join the gang."

lol. idiocy runs in the sippy genes.

"karne KUCH gaya tha; ho kuch AUR hi gaya." trollolololol i am really enjoying this.

HEY. NO. YOUR THING IS NOT LIKE HIS THING, YOU LYING, CHEATING MANWHORE.

not so subtle warning that rohit will absolutely not stand for fuckery within marriage.

"loyal hoon main." yeah, to your dick maybe.

YES THE SCENE I HAVE BEEN WAITING MOST FOR.

yessssssssssss sumannnnnnnnn, go offffffff ma.

woooooooop. i'm not for hitting your kids irl, but tellywood mein chalta hai. especially when your crotch-goblin, like this one here, really deserves it.

also lmao, suman ne aisa lagaaya ki pari got sent to the shadow realm.

waah kya safaai se jhoot bolti hai even under the influence. she’ll make a fantastic actor!

i mean she's not wrong, and suman needed to hear it that she can't be controlling grownass adults, but i also feel like this is just gonna go on to reinforce suman's belief that controlling a kid's life makes a good girl like sona, whereas giving free rein creates this kinda monster.

lo gir gayi.

BITCH DON'T YOU TOUCH PULKI LIKE THAT.

suman's chickens have come home to roost. isse kehte hain karma.

this is his romantic life analysis spot. whenever something momentous happens regarding his relationship status, it's on this balcony.

lmaooooooooo he really cannot close his eyes anymore without having a powerpoint slideshow of sona run.

askdjhsajfhaskjdfhdskfhjk

ofc his alter ego is a SMUGGER bastard than he is.

"tv nahi dekhte ho na, iss liye. apni sona se pooch lo; usne toh badi badi problems solve kiye hain, apne aap se baat karke." bwahahahahahahaha.

"don't! overreact!" HELLO KETTLE, THIS IS POT, YOU'RE BLACK.

alter ego is not only smugger, but also bougier; the deliberate, accented mispronunciations of the dramatic hindi words like "dhoka". i can't stop cackling like an insane person.

"itni simple si baat samajh mein nahi aati tumhe? doctor kisne banaaya?"

"bohut hi rude ho yaar!" 

AB SAMJHE????? KI TUMSE NIPATNA KITNAAAAAAAAAA MUSHKIL HAI??? KABHI KHUD KO BHI SEH LIYA KARO, JAISE BAAKI KARTE HAIN.

"tumhara hissa hoon na, rude toh hoonga hi!" askldjksjlskjfdsfj

alter!rohit is so much smarter. can we have him instead of this other fool?

omfg is he comparing raima to a plant? rude.

"kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki raima nahi, tum coma mein ho."

gotdamn. this one dropping truth bombs like an american drone over a brown country with oil reserves.

"sirf rearview mein dekh ke gaadi nahi chala sakta koi. ayeeee, tumhe toh gaadi chalaani nahi aati." LMAOOOO OMG THE WAY ALTER!ROHIT IS ROASTING HIM.

alter!rohit is like bohut ho gayi bakchodi, i have a life unlike you, soooo.... chalo rapid fire.

"fiqar hoti hai uski?"

"of course, haan."

"apne aap se zyaada?"

"ABSOLUTELY." my god the conviction with which he said that!!!!!! rohit, you absolute moppet.

lo ji, ho gaya issue ka samaadhaan.

"i love sonakshi????????"

lmaoooooooooo the dramatic asshole, echoing "accept it! enjoy it! accept it! enjoy it!"

mum-daughter bonding timeeeeee!

"nashe mein hi sahi, lekin bilkul sahi baat boli hai woh. woh meri sona nahi hai."

HALLELUJAH! FINALLLLLLLLLLLLY. SONA KI KEEMAT BADH GAYI HAI ISS HOUSEHOLD MEIN!

lmao pari take zimmedaari for the house. ho hi chuka.

protip to all girls, via sona and tt: marry a dude who makes your family a priority, instead of subscribing to that shaadi ke baad, sasuraal hi tumhara ghar hai bullshit.

ooooooooh, mummy has prepared for eventuality that rohit will be the ladka.

aankh milaake toh bolo, saaf saaf dikh raha hai ki jhoot bol rahi ho.

mummy knows best. also i like how she said "emotionally involve". it's more accurate for what's happening here than just "pyaar".

notice how she specified that sona should end it *IF* it's "ek tarfa pyaar". not the same tune she was singing an hour ago about never marrying sona off to a sindhi.

WHERE HAS THIS SORTED, PRAGMATIC, YET LOVINGLY STERN SUMAN BEEN ALL THE TIME?!?!?!? I HAVE WANTED TO SEE HER FOR MONTHSSSSSS NOWWWWWWW. THANK YOU BAPPA KE AAP JAATE JAATE YEH DE GAYE!

yup. end this shittttttttttttttttt. good call. get some me-time; ask star plus to send parvati off to switzerland like they did prerna. aaraam se ghoom phir ke aana.

look at this cheesyass mfer.

"i love sona."

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

JFC SHE'S..... VERY ANNOYING.

.... this is 4 years back right??? why is she dressed like aishwarya in action replayy, like it’s the 70s????

ugh ok i don't like her immature ass. is she the same age as rohit? max 2 - 3 saal choti hogi? why she acting like a fucking teenager?

arre waaaaaah, coma gave her ESP, she knows that rohit's moving on without her permission.

i propose a steel cage death match: the annoying senguptas. raima and her mom fight to the death so that we have to tolerate only ONE of their annoying asses in the show instead of both.

guess tanaaz is off to shoot something else?

small mercies: akash is finally over his petty little grudge with nishi.

is the rest of the episode just this??? saying bye to nishi????

ouff fwding.

"agar tumne roya, toh tumhe airport drop karne suman rastogi aayegi." lmaoooooooooooo i love yk.

oh hooooooooo, new watch.

ouff shut up naren.

mummy is having a shipper moment.

lol look how happy she is. and his face, knowing that she already knows what's in it.

the music is too sappily senti, middle class types, for a super rich dude putting on a watch that costs a minimum of 5 lakhs.

purest mom. so much softness between the two of them. ugh i wanna squish them both in to a nice hug sandwich.

LMAO WHAT, SAMUNDAR MEIN PHENK DI???? ISKE BEECH TU BEACH KAB GAYA?????????????

"chariyo! aath laakh ki ghadi thi!!!!!!!!!!!"

aslfkdjdlfjdslfjdslk i am veena. BITCH OLX NAAM KI BHI KOI CHEEZ HOTI HAI.

i don't really think he threw it away. he's just doing it to get a rise out of his mom, the brat.

but also my question is this; raima looks to be from a pretty middle class family, and she wanted to be an air hostess. HOW THE FUCKKKKKKK DID SHE AFFORD A WATCH THAT COSTS EIGHT FUCKING LAKHS?!?!?

no i have no such advice for you. jo plan hai, woh achcha hai. friend-zone his ass for a while.

"yeh naatak sirf naatak nahi hai, taqleef hone lagi hai mujhe." ouch. my poor girl.

lol pulki wants internship with rohit. great. WILL YOU PPL LET THIS POOR GIRL LET GO OF THIS GUY?!!?

———————————————————————

either sonakshi ran her the fuck over, or raima too is a KPK fan, even though she's been in a coma for the whole duration of its run. SUCH IS THE POWER OF PARVATI!

[xserpentlife]

3.16  Reaction - SPOILERS

Raw reaction no editing to this so it is not grammatically correct and spelling is not checked.

Hermione madddd

Kevin’s sellin it 

Ooooo we gettin in already 

Awwww noooo Reggie quit

Ooooooooooo Josie did that 

I’m living for this honestly like 

ok little dance sequence

SWEETS SAMG OKE SMALL LIKE AND IM ALREADY LIKE MY BOYYYYY

the sass in sweets saying bad boy love interest has me rolling

Betty is sooooo done 

CANDY STORE 

OKAYYYYYY

OKAY TONI DANCE BATTLE HELLO 

ORGANIZING SWEET PEAS SOLO EVELYN YOU SAY THAY YOU BETTER FOLLOW THROIGH I MAY HATE YOU BUT ILL HATE YOU MORE 

ransacked tent city ok

Why TF are they seperating wth 

O SHIT DIS HE FIND OUT 

ima take a bath ok you do that

PARTYYTY

Okay yeah let’s hello shot woth blue jello, does anyone else thinksnit looks like what’s been killing everyone like wtf

Okay dancing 

Veronica and Reggie oo

PEA AND FANGS MY BBYS the bromance

SWEETS MADDDDDD

Cheryl salty

I’m living hoenstly likeeeee

OH VERONICA AND REGGIE

endgame 😂😂😂

Organic brownie w/ mushrooms HE BOUTTA BE TRIPPPPIN

POOR KEV OMG 

Evelyn you ain’t s therapist sit the fuck down 

dude you ain’t haunted

Pooor fangssssssss awwwwww

Side note fsngs arms helloooo

SWEETS DID THATTTTTTTT OOOOO SHITTTTTTT NAMES AND EVERYTHING OKAYYYYYYY

DUDE REGGiE JUST USED “all in” I’m sorry conspiracy that him and sweets are related like not That I believe that but wth

Look at Reggie being the smart one 👏🏼

The fuck Evelyn tf you tellin Cheryl poppopin oit like thsy 

Oh Christ 💋 I’m red 

Wtf Cheryl chill girl 

DEAD GIRL WLAKIKG MY FAVVV

SWEETS BETTER SING A PARTTT I SWEARRRR

OKAY FLSNNEL OFF OH MY GOD IS THIS ABOUT A THREESOME JESUS CHRIST AND WITH TONI WHAT IN THE ACTUSL FUCK

BELT OFFFFF HOLY FUK 

IMA NEEES SOMEOKE TO MAKE GIFS OF THAG LIKEEEEE NOWWWWWWW THIS SECOND LIKE HOLY SHITTTTT

o my

Is that literally them counting him as being in dead girl walking cause he literally said waht two words wtf 

SELECT REHEARSAL EVELYN I SWEAR 

fangs ughhhhhhhhhh

Yo they boutta kisss

YEA DREW SIG YOUR SO GOOOOD HOLY CRAPPPPPPPP

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY KISSED WVEN THOUFH I HATW THAT THE FARM THE KISSSSS THO

yo wait though are they married now or like etc was that some induction thing like whatbis happeneing 

You real sweaty there arch 

Oh so now the pricinple w/ the farm tooo 🙄

They goin to junkyard Againn

A real conversation thank godddddd

Awww the trailer 

Is sweets boutta sing????? Nope didn’t think so false hope it’s cool

SEVENTEEEEEEN

Kinda llivimf for Betty and jug in this moment thooo OH GOT THE CSNT WE BE SEVENTEEN HARMONYYYYYY

I’m just gonna say this cute and shit but your dancing in a literally drug lab so maybe get out 

Poor Jug tho 

Betty like Jughead let it go and he’s like never heard that 

Veronica cryin hiram Max affffff

He brought his painting 😂😂😂

Is it bad I kinda don’t care bout her solo like I’m glad but also other people should’ve had solos *cough* sweet pea *cough*

I mean it’s good tho like not gonna lie 

HOW IS THIS ALREADY 50 MINS IN LIKE WHAT

Tweaked out fizzle head 😂😂😂😂

Oh stfu Gladys you liar 

She has to know what he’s planning like Gladys ain’t dumb 

The backstage thooo 

Ew sweets don’t sign her shit 

Fangs jumpin is cute af tho 

Jug is like My line he’s like WTF 😂😂😂

Burn it downnnnnnnn

Sweets and fangs BETTER SING IN THIS I SWEAR 

CAN WE STOP PANNING OVER THE COFE FOUR LIKE IDGAF I WANNA SEE OTHER PEOPLE

FUCKING EDGAR EVERNEVERRRRRRRR Jesus Christ thaycidna lot of fuckin farm people this is weird as shit 

Everyone’s like wtffffffffff

That’s it

I feel cheated first the fuck of all Jordan plays Fucking JD and barely sings two likes like wtf also why the fuck have we not figured out NM

Thank god he isn’t dead tho but let’s be honest it may be false hope so who tf knows 

[justmaniacstuff]

AVX (avengers vs xmen) - 2012

I finished avx and now I'm going to rant how good it is and mention some of my favorite heroes and my favorite moments in the whole event. This event happens after House of M.

So Spoiler alert!! Go ahead, by your own choice :) Also this is stupid you can ignore it.

NOW NOW NOW NOWWWWWWW!!! Let me start with my very favorite moments in the whole event!!

THIS WHOLE THING WHEN BOTH HOPE AND WANDA says "no more Phoenix" is JUST SIMPLY AWESOME!!! This is the best part for me.

After that, this is the second best. Scott summers turning into the Dark Phoenix is the BEST!! LIKE seriously it was so cool and chilling for me.

Nova is so cool to me!! His appearance is highlight for me!! And he is so funny!! I mean look at him.

I mean I will never not miss my two favorite BOYS and their interactions. NEVER.

Look at him... Look at my boy when he finds out the solution for the problem. He is smug!!

This whole panel is other level. I was reading all that and thinking 'who the hell is he talking to?' And boom there comes the Hulk and Hulk's response to cap is really cool. "Yes. Hulk will smash for you."

Can't help but to add this moment. Everything is burning down and shit is going down and this happens. It is also my favourite moment.

I have so many other things to add because of picture limit I can't but these are my very favourite moments in the whole event. I like the fight between Tony and Magento as well. Ya!!

[racingtoaredlight]

TRIAL OF THE CENTURY

ORDER IN THE COURT!  ORDER IN THE COURT!

I WILL HAVE ORDER IN MY COURT BEFORE WE PROCEED, DAMNIT!!!

***

Thank you.

Because of the publicity surrounding this case, I will protect the identities of the plaintiff and his accuser.  REDACTED accuses REDACTED of slander, libel and character defamation.  Will the lawyers for the plaintiff please come forward.

The lawyers from Spotlight?  Nice.  I’ll allow it.

Lets see another one of Crudup’s badass suits real quick...

That’s some damn fine lawyerin’, plaintiff.  You sure have excellent choice in representation.  Ok, representing the accuser...

Shkreli’s lawyer?  I know we’re supposed to remain impartial as judges, but accuser?  You better have a damn good case, that’s all I’m saying.

***

EXHIBIT #1

Once he rose above the boys and then brewed them Just to scrape his blimps along the mouth’s roof, and His balls were soaring ever higher, but they flew too high Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man Though my mind could think, I still saw a bad man I hear the voices when I’m dreaming, I can hear them say!

Carry on teabagging, son Put your balls on some guy’s tongue Lay your hairy nads to rest Don’t you lie no more

***

EXHIBIT #2

Yeah, tea’s runnin’ a little bit hot tonight. I can barely see your mouth from the steam comin’ off of ‘em. Ah, I reach down, between your legs, ease the seat back.

He’s blinded, Tim Ryan, And the next one up is Noah Coslov. He’s Got the feeling, tea is steeping, Jace’s popping, ain’t no stopping nowwwwwww!

Baggin’-a!  Teabaggin’-a! Baggin’-a!  Teabaggin’-a-a-a-a-a-a!

***

EXHIBIT #3

Now let me welcome everybody to this wild, wild mess A tea that’s undrinkable like cupfuls o’ piss The sack hits ya tastebuds like a slug to your chest Packs the rest of his jimmy in his kettle of sex

There ain’t no sunshine rays when his bombs are released The Jace where ya never find his friends’ mouths empty His blimps be on a mission for them grins Lean mean money-makin-machine servin’ teas

I been in the game for two years makin’ bag tunes Ever since the Tweet ‘bout baggin’ buffoons Now it’s 09′s time and he clocks me and watch me Rhymes are shinin’ lookin’ like I robbed Tyler Duffy

It’s all good, even if it’s kinda gay The Big Lead is tha bomb if your Earl’s makin’ Gray Brew up a teabag if ya feel the same way Dre’s puttin’ it down for Coslov-forn-I-a

***

EXHIBIT #4

At home Drawing pictures Of James Madison With him on top Got no weak gear, son Back shaped like a V And the nads lay in pools of drool below

Duffy didn’t give attention Oh, to the fact that Coslov didn’t care King Chamomile, The Big Lead Brewed his Earl Jeremy choked on Jace today Jeremy choked on Jace today

***

EXHIBIT #5

Now look at them yo-yo’s, that’s the way you do it You play the dipper, droppin’ bags of tea That ain’t workin’, but everybody do’s it Teabags for nothin’ and dicks for free

Now that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it Lemme tell ya those are two plums Maybe get a blister on your upper lipper Maybe get a blister on your tongue

***

THE PLAINTIFF IS CALLED TO THE STAND

“Yes, I wrote all of those.”

***

“Your honor, we call REDACTED to the stand.”

REDACTED, did you or did you not admit on Twitter to the alleged acts?

“Yes but...”

CASE DISMISSED!  LAWYER BILLY CRUDUP’S SUITS WIN!!!

You are hereby ordered to donate low-seven figures to Loose Leaf, an anti-teabagging non-profit that educates low income neighborhoods on the dangers of teabagging.

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