#BILLY DIDNT NEED TO SACRIFIC HIMSELF

[trulyanentity]

au where Billy doesn't fucking die but his dad does and then he apologizes to everyone and he and Steve kiss 😍😍😍😍

[wonder-wlw]

everyone mad about lack of agathario backstory (so valid when based on the information we had, it seemed like we'd be getting it), the show being too Billy centric (valid. you mean to tell me Agatha All Along was about the Witches Road, a myth made up by Agatha as a result of a silly song her and her son used to sing so the Witches Road really was Agatha All Along except in this ONE case where the road is actually teenager all along because he fucking created the road the whole fucking show is centered on), Agatha's death (so so so valid - really thought we were beating the bury your gays trope, not making an exact scene that is the embodiment of said trope)

But what Im so fucking pissed off about is that to me, that thing we learned about Agatha (if I remember there was shit floating around about Jac saying we learn something about Agatha in the finale) was that she CAN control her siphoning powers. Teenager said dont take it all and she doesn't. She stops.

This has RUINED Agatha as a believably morally grey character for me. If she can control it then all that begging in the salem flashback was entirely fake. Her mother calling her evil sounds fucking true because youre telling me that Agatha couldve just taken enough not to die and then not killed her coven? Did she learn to control it later and genuinely couldnt control it as a child? Why would you not fucking include that, even just a fucking scene or explanation of it, as part of the show about her fucking backstory? What was the fucking point of Alices death if not to CONFIRM that Agatha is a power hungry manipulative bitch? "I couldnt control it" okay now ur a grown woman and you actively chose to stop taking power from teenager about 12 hours later so whyd you murder alice? That makes her a one dimensional villain who will do anything and manipulate anyone for power. The remorse plays off as so fake too.

The only thing I can think of is that alice didnt have enough power to satisfy her and billy had a more than she needed so she could take without killing. But, for a show about Agatha, sure didnt fucking explain Agathas powers in any consistent or well thought out fashion.

And if you want her to be the villain, fine, but u have to commit to the fucking bit because power hungry Agatha would have said fuck that teenager Death can have him. Villain Agatha woulda kept cackling and gone inside to make herself a cup of tea.

Which then means that the best explanation for her sacrificing herself is that teen has been manipulating her all along. With all the reminders of nicky throughout the road, teens been positioning himself to be important to agatha and pushes that last little bit at the end in her mind.

And at that fucking point just name the goddamn show billy all along and dont fucking speak to me ever again.

[lordstormageddidnt]

@cha0ticlesbian had this question on my last post:

Hi! Genuine question, I’m new to supernatural (I’m on season 4) and I can definitely see what people mean about dean and cas and obviously I know about the confession scene but I’m confused if it’s true that deans feeling are “up to interruption” or if he just doesn’t like him back? Also I’ve seen some people saying he’s like homophobic? Ive just really confused and dean is my favorite so I wanna know lol

So let's talk about that. Are Dean's feelings up to interpretation?

Simply put, yes.

Basically, in s15e18 "Despair", when Cas is giving his whole "I love you" speech, Dean doesn't say very much. At random intervals, he gives NPC-type comments* like "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" and "Don't do this, Cas". He does not ever say "I love you too" (unless you're watching the Spanish dubbed version, where he says exactly that).

On the surface, I know my friends (who only get their spn info from me holding them hostage in my discord server), took issue with the line "don't do this". They kind of read it as Dean not respecting Cas in Cas's final moments-- in their eyes, Dean didnt want Cas to confess because he's uncomfortable with Cas's feelings. But the speech isn't about Dean-- it's about Cas giving himself permission to be happy.

That line of thinking plus the past allegations of Jensen Ackles being homophobic is usually where people get the idea that Dean is homophobic. From what I can see, the "Dean is homophobic" is mostly part of the meme of the scene in general, and not something most people actually believe, but some people do genuinely believe he is homophobic. This belief is also supported by Dean's hypermasculine personality in general and the comments he makes; we never once see him outwardly homophobic to any of the openly queer SPN characters, but especially in earlier seasons, he makes jokes (like Sam being a girl because he has long hair) that you would expect someone homophobic to say.

I do think homophobic Dean a valid interpretation, but the logic kind of ignores some of the context of the scene.

For one, there's a moment after the confession where Dean gets a call from "Cas" (it's Lucifer) telling him that Cas is outside the Bunker and needs to be let out. Dean breaks into a sprint to get to the door, and I think this action speaks louder than words (or, lack thereof). Whether or not Dean reciprocates, he cares about Cas as a friend and he wants Cas to be alive again.

For two, when it comes to "don't do this", the more common interpretation is that Dean doesn't want Cas to sacrifice himself. Again, Cas starts the speech by explaning that he will die during his happiest moment, and then transitions into saying that confessing his love to Dean is his happiest moment. Dean doesn't want Castiel to defeat Billie by sacrificing himself.

As a destiel shipper, my interpretation of this scene is a slight variation of the previous one. In my general view of SPN, Dean has known he's in love with Cas since at least s11, and he's known Cas has loved him back for a while, but he's just never felt like it was the right time to start a relationship (constant apocalypses and everything) and he's worried that he'll screw it up. In my head, when he says "don't do this", it means more like "don't do this [love confession like this]". Like, Dean doesn't want their first ILYs* to be marred by the fact that Cas is sacrificing himself.

So, last question-- how do people read the scene as Dean liking Cas back when he never verbally reciprocates?

Some people see Dean's silence as him either not liking Cas back or not realizing he likes Cas back yet, but there's another option here. The reason Cas is dying is because he believes this is his happiest moment. His speech outright states that he believes Dean does not love him back ("the one thing I want is the thing I cannot have"). It's totally possible that Dean reciprocates, but in his mind, saying that really would trigger Cas's happiest moment. There are some great fix-it fics built on the premise of "Dean insults the sht outta Cas to spoil Cas's happiest moment and stop him from being taken by the Empty".

* okay last point. I wasn't sure where to insert this but I think it's insanely interesting. The scene in s15e18 is not actually the first time Cas tells Dean he loves him. In s12, there is an episode where Cas believes he is dying, and he says the line "I love you. I love all of you" to the small crowd of Dean, Sam, and Mary. NPC behavior from Dean ensues as he insists Cas isn't going to die without ever acknowledging the "I love you". The common interpretation is that the first ILY is for Dean, and the second ILY is Cas speaking to the Winchesters as a whole. Do with that as you will lol

Anyway, that's all I got :D thank you for the opportunity to rant about supernatural and feel free to ask me if you have any other questions!

[lesbiten]

my moms final thoughts on st s3:

-called billy "billy badass" the whole season until he attacked max and he then became "billy bullshit" and then when he sacrificed himself he went back to billy badass

-"el needs to be your guys sister. so she can use her powers to clean this house"

-(several minutes after the scene where the machine explodes) "wait hopper DIED? hes dead? no.......no hes not. tell me hes not dead. (deeply distraught) he and joyce didnt even have sex"

-up until the last episode still was confused on whose mom was whose and which one was billys sister (thought joyce was mikes mom and el was billys sister)

-(as alexei is dying) "awwww.....i was starting to like him. im like sad right now"

-(every time the big russian guy popped up on screen) "terminator" "its arnold schwarzenegger"

-kept telling my dad to watch it with us while he kept saying he couldnt just start watching it from the end of season 3

[fanatics4l]

so genuinely confused as to why the duffers never showed us billy's funeral but cut straight ahead to the kids having fun and singing (even max??) while only showing joyce and el mourning hopper. its so stupid bc that boy sacrificed himself for people who never once bothered to save him after finding out he was flayed. not to mention the fact that billy literally saved el's life and she wouldn't be alive without him. but nooo, who needs a funeral for billy bc he didn't deserve even that apparently!

the duffers made that billy sacrifice/death scene so dramatic and emotional, showing us that he was only a helpless kid who wanted love and care. they showed us that he was an abuse victim... only to completely disregard the aftermath of his death and sacrifice like it didnt rlly matter. but all of a sudden season 4 is about max being depressed about her brother's death. its just... confusing and weird. kinda gross how nobody acknowledged billy i don't know man.

[boxxed-juice]

i finished season 4 vol 1 of stranger things today and i have Thoughts. spoilers under read more

1) oh my god max and her grief was heart breaking. i almost cried while watching 4.04. yes billy was a major asshole to her, but she obviously still saw him as an older brother and wanted them to be at least friends. then he got taken over by the mind flayer and *sacrificed* himself for her & el. plus listening to Running Up That Hill really leads me to think that max wishes she was the one in billy’s place. i need to expand on my thoughts later but its there

2) jonathan, argyle, and dustin were so funny this season. 10/10 for every scene they were in

3) erica!! im so glad she was back after season 3. she killed every scene she was in

4) venca/peter can go suck eggs. i have no idea why people are so hot and bothered over him. esp after that reveal where he killed his mom and sister + several animals bc they didnt have his powers??? tf???

5) eddie is my beloved blorbo. rotating him in my mind. i want a hellfire club shirt now

6) suzie was also great. love her

7) really all the side characters were amazing?? id love a spin off series of just these guys ngl

[curioussubjects]

omg y’all i just found some of the notes i made between 15.17 and 15.18 and they’re cursed, particularly in this post 15.20 world:

im thinking of cas seeing the guilt and the shame and fear next episode and saying: i love you. i have always loved you.

im thinking of dean not believing him. denying it. pushing it away. no, dont--dont say that how can you say that. but at the same time pleading for cas to stay, to not leave him. no, dont--you cant. you cant leave. stay. the constant push pull of dean's shame and his needs. the craving love he doesnt think he deserves. and cas saying: you are worthy of love and has always been.

that if cas is sacrificing himself for jack and leaving dean alone again that dean needs to know this. needs to hear it. that cas himself needs to hear it. what is real we are im handprint cas dies again. handprint. i love you. let's go home.

-------------

he knew what i was and who i was. he loved me unconditionally. he forgave me. all he asked was for me to stop.

you were too angry. you couldnt forgive me and you couldnt move on. i left but you didnt stop me.

i love you. i have always loved you.

cas i need to say something.

me too, cas

and this bit of spec lmao why:

im not positive on why go to the library, perhaps to steal the scythe as a first plan that fails before they decide to off billie and chuckmara idk.

but empty as weapon. and perhaps jack bomb is an issue and cas is secretly planning to sacrifice himself for jack so cas goes boom.

empty eats billie and chuckmara + cas bomb --> boom all cosmic entities poof in one go

but how would we summon the empty we cant find anything, tfw asks. and cas well...has a cursed idea. [happens while sam is away] so cas in rambling about his idea and dean is like wtf are you talking about what deal CAS WHAT DEAL

[carrerabkpuff]

Okay. You just showed up to my tedtalk because I'm...

PISSED.

This is tagged supernatural so you may think I'm here to rant about the so-called "destiel canonization" scene and call the creators "bad writers", or comment on Jensen Ackles's "nonexistent acting skill", and say that they "hide their gays".

If it isn't clear by now. I'm not.

I believe most of tumblr is missing the point.

That scene was beautiful. I almost cried for Castiel. Not Destiel, I will point out. I felt Castiel's confession was more than that. It's being oversimplified.

I don't think the point of the scene was that Castiel loves Dean. I think we all know that they all love each other, but I don't think Cas loves him in thAt way- you can come for me all you want, but it's my opinion.

After seasons and seasons and seasons of Cas risking his life, his values, and his god-given (notice how I said GOD-given) mission for the Winchester's. He does this on countless occasions, and it eventually leads to him changing his perspective and joining them in #teamfreewill. This confession, this scene, is just a representation of his new mission. The Angles all had a mission, and no matter how human Castiel may have become (even becoming one at one point) he's still an Angel. An Angel who no longer believes in the mission. Now remember, each time he's tried to help the brothers, he's either died, failed, made things worse, or all three. His moment of "true happiness" when the empty can take him away and kill Billy isn't when he can finally confess his love for Dean. It's him completing his mission. "Dean Winchester Has Been Saved". This was his new mission, to help the Winchester's in any way that he can, including sacrificing his own life. He's finally doing it right. Think back to every time he's tried to do what he thought was right, and ended up making things worse, or pissing off the boys, making them hate him, Dean even going as far as saying that cas is "dead to him". This moment, this sacrifice is his chance to prove to them he can do something right. He is sacrificing himself, which is a mission he chose for himself- not one that god wrote in -he chose this mission (though perhaps unintentionally at first) and therefore completing it as his last act is sacrifice not for his emotional sake, but for the ideals and values of #teamfreewill. It's what he has wanted all along. To give himself over to the cause, even if that means death. I think it's the only proper ending for Castiel. After the fight is over, Sam and Dean and Jack can all go live. They can go into the real world and experience it. But what becomes of the Angel? When all is peaceful, what is his mission? If there is none, what is our Angel with no mission? Cas would be lost, he would be empty. The best case scenario is exactly what the writers did. He was satisfied. He died in honor. He died a hero.

His "confession" was simply his last wish. For Dean to stop beating himself up about everything, and see him how he truly is, how everyone else see's him. Cas knew that Dean wouldn't believe anyone when they said it, he wouldn't even believe him unless he was dying. He was making a sacrifice, and he didnt give Dean the opportunity to think "why would he do that" or blame himself. Everything he said was to try and help ease Dean into the fact that Castiel was choosing to sacrifice himself for Dean because God dammit Dean you're a good person and you need to realize that. Everyone else has!

Castiel was sacrificing himself for the greater good, and he needed Dean to know that it wasn't his fault, because they both knew (and we all knew) that he wasn't going to come back from this one.

I'm sorry if you don't agree, and I'm sorry that your ship never sailed. I personally have never shipped Destiel, and it has nothing to do with homophobia or anything like that, I just don't see the characters that way. And yeah, maybe I'm too invested in this fictional universe, but I don't care. I just want the show's ending to get the appreciation that it deserves. These writers are incredible, and the actors are incredible. It's obviously not perfect, but nothing can be. We can only hope they do better in the future.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading this whole post. I know it was long, I just needed to get this off my chest. I hope I changed your kjnd, but if i didn't that's okay. Have a wonderful day, and I'll see you next Thursday 😉

[mittensmorgul]

i've been seeing speculation that michael was lying to castiel and dean, so if that's true, is it possible he is only pretending to care for adam too?

Hi there! You’re probably hoping for a short, direct answer here, but congratulations! You’ve won today’s “imma turn this into an essay about 9 other things that are all directly related to the thing you thought was a simple question” essay prompt contest!

I will give you a tl;dr right up front, though, in case you’re already rolling your eyes at me (sorry, I can’t help who I am as a person... but I do try to be helpful).

I think they made it pretty clear in the diner scene that Adam and Michael have a really interesting relationship. You spend a decade locked inside your own mind with a guy, and you either start getting along or you kill each other, you know? So no, I don’t think he’s pretending to care about Adam. I think Michael and Adam have-- as Adam told Dean-- come to an agreement. Rather than spiraling into hatred and mutual torture, they chose to understand one another (to the degree that a human is capable of understanding an archangel and vice versa). I can’t imagine sharing that sort of companionship with someone for a decade and NOT at least feeling some sort of care for the other.

I wrote something about this the other day, about what Michael’s choices showed us about his feelings for Adam, here:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189648100025/why-didnt-michael-go-to-chuck-after-lilith-came

They’re freed from the cage after a decade, and Michael could’ve just... left, you know? Nothing’s tying him to Adam at this point. And he’s indulging Adam’s human needs for food and comfort, and Adam’s assumptions that they will continue to live together in some weird little curtain fic of a domestic scenario despite Michael being a freaking archangel who could pull the whole “chained to a comet” thing we’ve seen so many other angels pull and do whatever he wants... (including AU!Michael and what he did to Dean... the arrangement Adam and Michael have more closely resembles what Dean was trying to negotiate for himself with AU!Michael, which just makes it hurt so much more when Dean sees Adam and Michael’s arrangement).

That said, like so much of s15, do we really know what Michael’s motivations are now? I don’t feel comfortable saying for sure that Adam actually knows, either. The show has just reminded us vividly of the long con that was s4 with the odd return of Lilith as a narrative device to manipulate Sam and Dean (and now Michael). And the struggle against destiny that was s5. Michael was a major agent in BOTH of those seasons (and Adam was the unwitting “clammy scrap of bait” that Heaven used to unsuccessfully trap Dean in 5.18). We don’t know what Michael wants, because his entire purpose for being was foiled in 5.22, and he’s been living with the consequences of that ever since. But more importantly, I don’t think *Michael* knows what he wants anymore, in a world where his entire purpose was rendered moot.

Imagine living for BILLIONS of years knowing that someday you will enact a specific series of events to prove your love and devotion to God, with the belief that will win God’s favor and earn yourself an eternal reward, only to be foiled literally on the brink of success and then return to a world where God had never actually left at all and had just been using you as an actor for his own entertainment. Not only that, you weren’t even unique... just one of countless iterations of the same being across a vast number of universes, and that you hadn’t actually been cast in the starring role at all, but had merely been a bit player in one act of the Grand Performance?

Can he really accept that his entire existence had been a lie? As God’s first and favorite creation, does he even trust what Cas has shown him, or would he doubt and go directly to Chuck to confront him about the truth?

I’ve been meaning to compile a list of all the scenes and references in the montage Cas showed to Michael, but that will take some doing. :’D

I think my main question right now is whether Michael has already confronted Chuck via prayer, or whether he set the whole “Leviathan blossom hunt” up as a means to earn his freedom from Dean and Cas while not tipping his hand about his doubts yet. The minor earthquake he set off... was that due to his frustration at accepting what Cas showed him as the truth, or his frustration at not being able to communicate with Chuck (Enochian handcuffs, you know? block powers like that), or his frustration at having questioned Chuck directly via prayer or some other magical means and his renewed belief that he was being lied to or manipulated by TFW? We truly do not know yet.

That’s the beauty of s15. That’s the main theme of s15, actually-- what is REAL, and what’s Chuck’s story?

I think the thing that’s bothered me the most about this season so far is the assumption that we know anything plot-related is absolute fact and exactly what it appears to be on the surface. Because the entire season is built on the revelation that we literally know nothing about what is real and what is performance and what is manipulation.

Remember Ruby? How many of us at least cautiously believed her back in s3 and s4, before we began to be shown reasons to doubt her? And all along, Ruby had been an agent of Lilith, the only one who’d known the whole plan from the start. Which is ironic when you compare it with Lilith’s role in s15... with the whole “I can’t fail him.” They’re all layers of plot devices like manipulative little nesting dolls, and I’m incredibly wary of trusting anything in a world where Chuck can send innocent souls to Hell on a whim (Eileen, Kevin....) for plot reasons.

Chuck long ago stopped interacting with his creation by his own rules, you know? In contrast to Billie and her Rules, which she’ll bend on occasion but never outright violate. Chuck’s story went so far off the rails after 5.22 that the new “rules” of his plot often directly contradicted the old rules-- especially after 11.23, when he reunited with Amara. I don’t think he ever accounted for that, and it shows in his ongoing narrative after their reunification.

Chuck’s story didn’t change. He still kept trying to write to the same themes, to the same narrative end-- one sibling sacrificing the other for the good of creation, because Sam and Dean had as yet refused to let that ending stick, you know? Over and over, TFW has proven that narrative can’t stand, right up to Dean talking Chuck and Amara through exactly WHY it couldn’t stand. Love.

Chuck refuses to change-- as Becky told him, as Amara told him, as EVERYONE is telling him. He doesn’t love his creation, he wants it to be a reflection of his own issues, as some sort of moral justification of his essential “rightness.” He wants to feel “big.” He’s been unmasked, and knows he can’t carry on the charade of Benevolent and Caring Creator anymore. His characters have confronted him, FINALLY, as the Actual Author, and not the proxy/puppet that “Chuck the Prophet” had been back in 4.18.

But it’s been, so far in s15, impossible to know at a glance what elements of creation are nothing more than Chuck’s sock puppets (though Lilith lampshaded herself as a sock puppet almost immediately, within the span of a single episode). What are Chuck’s plot contrivances? What are his “traps?”

Was the hunter Sue-- Eileen’s friend that she trusted without hesitation in 15.08 and who would lure her and Sam to a hunt, only to unmask herself as Chuck-- the only sock puppet in that scene? Or is this like 4.18, where there are layers upon layers of sock puppets acting out one of Chuck’s tests? Where it appeared that Zachariah had manipulated Chuck’s “visions” to control the narrative, but later revelations would prove it was all Chuck’s bigger game? Even by 4.22 we’d see Zachariah for the puppet he was, even if he wouldn’t be defeated until 5.18.

But the context the show has now given us with Chuck’s manipulation of the entire story opens the possibility that-- even as we’ve seen through the chaotic spiral of his own twisted narrative-- he’s still exerting far more control over the story than we can see yet.

ISN’T IT THRILLING?!

[moondogss]

honestly i'm still not over how bad is eddie's death in st4 like it's really just bad writing, it serves no purpose because in that moment they could have done a hundred other things to keep the bats distracted (like setting the upside down trailer on fire or something else) so the decision of eddie going out seems just an excuse by the duffers to kill him off because (this is a theory but it seems right) they didn't know how to clear his name in the finale and wanted someone to die just for the drama, so they chose the character they didnt know how to resolve

like in the other season whatever weird shit happended the government was always on their side to cover things up and make everyone look good in the end, this time the government is against them so the duffers knew they couldn't use that to clear eddie's name, and it probably seemed like a bad plot to hide him from the town for the time between season 4 and 5, so they say oh well i guess if he dies we dont have to think about that ! and they killed him off

which i understand but still other deaths in the show sort of made sense, barb was tragic but necessary for nancy to grow and have a reason to fight the upside down, bob was tragic but needed for joyce and hopper to get together, billy was a bad dude whose only good act was his death leaving max with complex feelings towards him, brenner was a similar case to billy, chrissy was an innocent death needed to start the plot, fred was a tragic death to remind nancy of what happened to barb therefore leaving her vulnerable to vecna

but eddie? eddie was just a nice dude who was considered a freak by everyone, that accidentally found himself in an awful situation, his death serves no purpose, it literally just seems like something they added for drama and it sucks, the whole plot about him not being brave when he actually was, the whole plot about how being a hero means sacrificing yourself is stupid and felt forced and i hate it !

[cigarettesandharringrove]

episode 08

El being the badass she is ofc gets the fleshy infection out. And ahhh even hopper and Joyce joining. The whole gang is there and I love it~

Erica snapping off at Murray. Loved that moment, haha.

omg Steve and his daddy obsession this season???? I’m a little like, yes? But also, ur a baby, Steve.

hopper being the best dad he can be for el was such a sweet moment. Ugh. Love.

Billy revved his engine to warn them. He literally waited. He could’ve just gone but he didn’t... which means he was trying, this entire season billy has shown he’s been trying so hard to resist, to fight, asking for help but the mindflayer being too manipulative and powerful... it’s so goddamn heartbreaking for his character. You could see that inner battle ughhhhh 😭

the groups yet again separated but the plot demands it.

is El losing her powers??? What the heCk

And now mindflayer lasagna ass gotta bust through the mall and I’m not ready for the final battle.

the build up is so tense and jumping between fleshy mindflayer and Russian military

Also I think when Steve hit Billy’s car, he’s been informed beforehand that billy is possessed by the mindflayer so I think he assumed that billy is just too far gone to acknowledge (also he’s coming down from being drugged)... it sucks they didn’t even have a single spoken scene between the two of billy.

And the Susie and Dustin scene was not needed. Super unnecessary and could’ve been spent on important plot points.

Super possessed billy really broke me... like he needs help. He is worth saving and I’m so upset, he’s not even a villain, he’s just a victim.

this entire scene with billy and max, really hurt me. He’s so possessed it isn’t him. Just a shell serving the mindflayer and that really breaks me about his character this season.

Billy!flayer hurting el was also just painful to watch.

‘Seven feet’ when el said it I fucking lost it

AND I JUST STARTED CRYING HERE. FUCK THESE FEELS. THEY DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT. 😭😭

‘You were happy’

IM BROKEN. BILLY OH MY GAWD. 😭😭 SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR THEM. HE DESERVES TO LIVE. I CANNOT WITH THIS

DUFFERS I KNEW YOUD DO THIS BUT FUCK MAN. RIGHT IN THE FEELS... and HOPPER TOO. Like Joyce never gets a break either.

this episode made me real sad, Billy and hopper? And everything that’s happening... I wish for both of them to come back.

the three month jump, it makes me just die.

also robin selling Steve’s prettiness hahaha that made me have some sort of smile.

Knowing the byers are just moving. And oooof will also needed more important scenes, his character arc needed the attention. El leaving but also her powers just left her from using it so frequently this season?

the whole speech really had me as a sap but the fact they gloss over the major fallout from the mall... it sucks??? It makes it feel less significant about how much actual sadness and loss happened??? I have so many questions.... I feel so many feels.

I WONDER WITH THE BONUS SCENE THEY MENTIONED AMERICAN... why add that unless it has significance??? But maybe billy somehow may come back or hopper.

or if we’re lucky both??? But I feel emotional taxed on this season. I’m left with more questions than answers tbh. But it’s been a rollercoaster of a season.

this string will be my exact first impressions of the entire season 3, THIS ENTIRE POST IS SPOILERS

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so episode 01

Thoughts:

even tho I know what Steve’s outfit was going to look like. Him in his work setting is SO CUTE and I already love his and Robins friendship! I’m already dreading for Billy, so soooo much.... the mindflayer already manifesting I’m terrified for Billy and even Will.

Jonathan and Nancy are genuinely cute. The gangs dynamic so far is really sweet~

Billy as the established bad boy that’s a lifeguard (who takes his job pretty serious) but I’m shaking knowing it’s gonna make me cry with his story arc... I’m weak.

Steve trying his lame ass pickup lines made me cackle. Also the fact robin keeps score—I literally died.

Billy is gonna be the rat king and I’m okay with it. Also Billy checking out Mrs. Wheeler just screamed mommy issues??? And I’m not okay with Mrs. Wheeler flirting back, girl, no—he’s a minor. No matter how smooth & hot headed it’s a hell naaaaaw.

Also, poor Dustin. I hope suzie does get into contact with him.

And ommmmmg hopper not being able to handle things 😂

Ah, of course Dustin ends up finding the line of communication. 🤦🏻‍♂️

omg no, mrs. wheeler stopppp this ain’t it billy is a minoooooooor and Billy’s accident happening right off the battttt I’m legit so afraid for him.

NOOOOOOO, my poor boy already getting possessed noooooooooo 😭

[drdonckeandmdposts-blog]

A BAPTISM OF BLOOD AND WHISKEY  (An excerpt from the book “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS”)                                                                                              My left side was covered in blood. I was terribly thirsty as men are when they are bleeding. My canteen was soaked in the red liquid. But it mattered not as I opened it and drank my fill. There was no one else alive around. I figured I would just slowly fall asleep as my blood leaked onto the ground. I shut my eyes. My thoughts turned to my folks. How would they take my passing? I knew they would be devastated. I felt terrible for having done this to them. What a fool I was for signing up for this. For some strange reason a vision of Susan Lyons passed through my head. I do not know why I thought of her at that moment. Maybe it was because of the joke I made the last time I saw her. She was so upset and now it looked like the joke was really not a joke at all. It was going to be the truth. I might go back home in a pine box. But even that was not such a sure thing in war. They might never find my body. I might lay here after death and just rot like a log. I might become food for the worms and maggots.   Maybe that was my deserved fate after what I had just done. Either way I knew that whether or not I was able to apologize to Susan in person, I knew she was a kind soul and would forgive me. She really was one of a kind. I had so many passing thoughts like that as I grew weaker.  For how long I sat their half dazed and half-asleep or maybe even half dead, if there is such a thing, I do not know. Shortly, a group of men came through the woods and spotted me. I must have moved or made a noise to get their attention. They rushed quickly to my aid. One, just by chance, or a miracle, happened to be trained in wound caring. He looked at my wound. I overheard him say it was only a flesh wound but a very bad one at that. He said. “A gash like it could be mended and might heal if it did not get gangrene.” I then heard him say. “If only we just had some needle and thread,” I pointed weakly to my pocket. He reached in and took out a small package. I wanted to live. And I remembered I had the package of fishhooks I had gotten in Paducah when I visited uncle Billy. I figured maybe they would make a good sewing needle in such a pinch. He looked at them, took one out, and pulled a small file from his pocket. He proceeded to file the barb off of the inside turn. He then did something I shall never forget. He reached over to the dead Yankees butchered body and cut a piece of his uniform away. He ripped and tore the cloth to make strings to sew me up with. He quickly fastened long pieces of thread through the knothole on the hook and prepared to darn me like you would a torn feather bed. He said, “Here son drink some of this. It’ll help with the pain.” It was a canteen filled with whiskey. I did not really want it.  But he said, “Son drink it. You’re going to need it. That’s an order. I’m fixing to pour whiskey on your wound to clean it. And it’s going to burn… A LOT! Drink it son. That’s an order.”  I put the canteen to my lips and took a mouth full and swallowed. It burned my mouth and throat and especially my stomach when it hit. A mouth full of mama’s lye soap could not have burned more.  “Again son,” he said. I swallowed another mouth full. It did not burn as much this time. He waited a few more moments and while he did the whiskey started to take effect. Being so tired, losing blood, being emotionally drained, plus a third mouthful of whiskey made my head start to spin. He gently rolled me onto my side. He asked me to hold the cloth from the butchered Yankees uniform in case he needed more for thread. As I looked at the cloth I felt a terrible shame and sadness. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how a man I had just butchered to death was sacrificing a piece of himself to help save me. I killed him in a fit of blood lust and hatred. Now all I wanted to do was thank him. He told me to get ready as he poured the whiskey onto my side. When he did I thought he was branding me like a cow as the whiskey burned like fire. I cried out from the pain which was worse than when the Yankee had skewered me. In a moment the burning stopped.    By then I felt I guess what you might call drunk. I even laughed a bit as I felt the prick of the hook in my skin over and over as he quilted me. I thought this must be a baptism of blood and whiskey for that was all I could taste, smell, or see. After a bit I either fell off to sleep or passed out, I do not know which, not knowing if I would ever wake up again.  J.D. Sims reflects on his impending death after being wounded at The Battle of Stones River and a seemingly miraculous bit of fortune in “I Didn’t Sign Up For This”. Find out what happens next.                                                                     For more information see; https://www.prlog.org/12557491-kentucky-author-wins-publishing-contract-with-civil-war-novel.html and www.Facebook.com/Ididntsignup and authorpage.co/donckean/ Available at www.amazon.in/I-Didnt-Sign-Up-Thisebook/dp/B0171WH8Q8

[drdonckeandmdposts-blog]

A BAPTISM OF BLOOD AND WHISKEY  (An excerpt from the book “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS”)                                                                                              My left side was covered in blood. I was terribly thirsty as men are when they are bleeding. My canteen was soaked in the red liquid. But it mattered not as I opened it and drank my fill. There was no one else alive around. I figured I would just slowly fall asleep as my blood leaked onto the ground. I shut my eyes. My thoughts turned to my folks. How would they take my passing? I knew they would be devastated. I felt terrible for having done this to them. What a fool I was for signing up for this. For some strange reason a vision of Susan Lyons passed through my head. I do not know why I thought of her at that moment. Maybe it was because of the joke I made the last time I saw her. She was so upset and now it looked like the joke was really not a joke at all. It was going to be the truth. I might go back home in a pine box. But even that was not such a sure thing in war. They might never find my body. I might lay here after death and just rot like a log. I might become food for the worms and maggots.   Maybe that was my deserved fate after what I had just done. Either way I knew that whether or not I was able to apologize to Susan in person, I knew she was a kind soul and would forgive me. She really was one of a kind. I had so many passing thoughts like that as I grew weaker.  For how long I sat their half dazed and half-asleep or maybe even half dead, if there is such a thing, I do not know. Shortly, a group of men came through the woods and spotted me. I must have moved or made a noise to get their attention. They rushed quickly to my aid. One, just by chance, or a miracle, happened to be trained in wound caring. He looked at my wound. I overheard him say it was only a flesh wound but a very bad one at that. He said. “A gash like it could be mended and might heal if it did not get gangrene.” I then heard him say. “If only we just had some needle and thread,” I pointed weakly to my pocket. He reached in and took out a small package. I wanted to live. And I remembered I had the package of fishhooks I had gotten in Paducah when I visited uncle Billy. I figured maybe they would make a good sewing needle in such a pinch. He looked at them, took one out, and pulled a small file from his pocket. He proceeded to file the barb off of the inside turn. He then did something I shall never forget. He reached over to the dead Yankees butchered body and cut a piece of his uniform away. He ripped and tore the cloth to make strings to sew me up with. He quickly fastened long pieces of thread through the knothole on the hook and prepared to darn me like you would a torn feather bed. He said, “Here son drink some of this. It’ll help with the pain.” It was a canteen filled with whiskey. I did not really want it.  But he said, “Son drink it. You’re going to need it. That’s an order. I’m fixing to pour whiskey on your wound to clean it. And it’s going to burn… A LOT! Drink it son. That’s an order.”  I put the canteen to my lips and took a mouth full and swallowed. It burned my mouth and throat and especially my stomach when it hit. A mouth full of mama’s lye soap could not have burned more.  “Again son,” he said. I swallowed another mouth full. It did not burn as much this time. He waited a few more moments and while he did the whiskey started to take effect. Being so tired, losing blood, being emotionally drained, plus a third mouthful of whiskey made my head start to spin. He gently rolled me onto my side. He asked me to hold the cloth from the butchered Yankees uniform in case he needed more for thread. As I looked at the cloth I felt a terrible shame and sadness. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how a man I had just butchered to death was sacrificing a piece of himself to help save me. I killed him in a fit of blood lust and hatred. Now all I wanted to do was thank him. He told me to get ready as he poured the whiskey onto my side. When he did I thought he was branding me like a cow as the whiskey burned like fire. I cried out from the pain which was worse than when the Yankee had skewered me. In a moment the burning stopped.    By then I felt I guess what you might call drunk. I even laughed a bit as I felt the prick of the hook in my skin over and over as he quilted me. I thought this must be a baptism of blood and whiskey for that was all I could taste, smell, or see. After a bit I either fell off to sleep or passed out, I do not know which, not knowing if I would ever wake up again.  J.D. Sims reflects on his impending death after being wounded at The Battle of Stones River and a seemingly miraculous bit of fortune in “I Didn’t Sign Up For This”. Find out what happens next.                                                                     For more information see; https://www.prlog.org/12557491-kentucky-author-wins-publishing-contract-with-civil-war-novel.html and www.Facebook.com/Ididntsignup and authorpage.co/donckean/ Available at www.amazon.in/I-Didnt-Sign-Up-Thisebook/dp/B0171WH8Q8

[drdonckeandmdposts-blog]

A BAPTISM OF BLOOD AND WHISKEY  (An excerpt from the book “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS”)                                                                                              My left side was covered in blood. I was terribly thirsty as men are when they are bleeding. My canteen was soaked in the red liquid. But it mattered not as I opened it and drank my fill. There was no one else alive around. I figured I would just slowly fall asleep as my blood leaked onto the ground. I shut my eyes. My thoughts turned to my folks. How would they take my passing? I knew they would be devastated. I felt terrible for having done this to them. What a fool I was for signing up for this. For some strange reason a vision of Susan Lyons passed through my head. I do not know why I thought of her at that moment. Maybe it was because of the joke I made the last time I saw her. She was so upset and now it looked like the joke was really not a joke at all. It was going to be the truth. I might go back home in a pine box. But even that was not such a sure thing in war. They might never find my body. I might lay here after death and just rot like a log. I might become food for the worms and maggots.   Maybe that was my deserved fate after what I had just done. Either way I knew that whether or not I was able to apologize to Susan in person, I knew she was a kind soul and would forgive me. She really was one of a kind. I had so many passing thoughts like that as I grew weaker.  For how long I sat their half dazed and half-asleep or maybe even half dead, if there is such a thing, I do not know. Shortly, a group of men came through the woods and spotted me. I must have moved or made a noise to get their attention. They rushed quickly to my aid. One, just by chance, or a miracle, happened to be trained in wound caring. He looked at my wound. I overheard him say it was only a flesh wound but a very bad one at that. He said. “A gash like it could be mended and might heal if it did not get gangrene.” I then heard him say. “If only we just had some needle and thread,” I pointed weakly to my pocket. He reached in and took out a small package. I wanted to live. And I remembered I had the package of fishhooks I had gotten in Paducah when I visited uncle Billy. I figured maybe they would make a good sewing needle in such a pinch. He looked at them, took one out, and pulled a small file from his pocket. He proceeded to file the barb off of the inside turn. He then did something I shall never forget. He reached over to the dead Yankees butchered body and cut a piece of his uniform away. He ripped and tore the cloth to make strings to sew me up with. He quickly fastened long pieces of thread through the knothole on the hook and prepared to darn me like you would a torn feather bed. He said, “Here son drink some of this. It’ll help with the pain.” It was a canteen filled with whiskey. I did not really want it.  But he said, “Son drink it. You’re going to need it. That’s an order. I’m fixing to pour whiskey on your wound to clean it. And it’s going to burn… A LOT! Drink it son. That’s an order.”  I put the canteen to my lips and took a mouth full and swallowed. It burned my mouth and throat and especially my stomach when it hit. A mouth full of mama’s lye soap could not have burned more.  “Again son,” he said. I swallowed another mouth full. It did not burn as much this time. He waited a few more moments and while he did the whiskey started to take effect. Being so tired, losing blood, being emotionally drained, plus a third mouthful of whiskey made my head start to spin. He gently rolled me onto my side. He asked me to hold the cloth from the butchered Yankees uniform in case he needed more for thread. As I looked at the cloth I felt a terrible shame and sadness. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how a man I had just butchered to death was sacrificing a piece of himself to help save me. I killed him in a fit of blood lust and hatred. Now all I wanted to do was thank him. He told me to get ready as he poured the whiskey onto my side. When he did I thought he was branding me like a cow as the whiskey burned like fire. I cried out from the pain which was worse than when the Yankee had skewered me. In a moment the burning stopped.    By then I felt I guess what you might call drunk. I even laughed a bit as I felt the prick of the hook in my skin over and over as he quilted me. I thought this must be a baptism of blood and whiskey for that was all I could taste, smell, or see. After a bit I either fell off to sleep or passed out, I do not know which, not knowing if I would ever wake up again.  J.D. Sims reflects on his impending death after being wounded at The Battle of Stones River and a seemingly miraculous bit of fortune in “I Didn’t Sign Up For This”. Find out what happens next.                                                                     For more information see; https://www.prlog.org/12557491-kentucky-author-wins-publishing-contract-with-civil-war-novel.html and www.Facebook.com/Ididntsignup and authorpage.co/donckean/ Available at www.amazon.in/I-Didnt-Sign-Up-Thisebook/dp/B0171WH8Q8

[drdonckeandmdposts-blog]

A BAPTISM OF BLOOD AND WHISKEY  (An excerpt from the book “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS”)                                                                                              My left side was covered in blood. I was terribly thirsty as men are when they are bleeding. My canteen was soaked in the red liquid. But it mattered not as I opened it and drank my fill. There was no one else alive around. I figured I would just slowly fall asleep as my blood leaked onto the ground. I shut my eyes. My thoughts turned to my folks. How would they take my passing? I knew they would be devastated. I felt terrible for having done this to them. What a fool I was for signing up for this. For some strange reason a vision of Susan Lyons passed through my head. I do not know why I thought of her at that moment. Maybe it was because of the joke I made the last time I saw her. She was so upset and now it looked like the joke was really not a joke at all. It was going to be the truth. I might go back home in a pine box. But even that was not such a sure thing in war. They might never find my body. I might lay here after death and just rot like a log. I might become food for the worms and maggots.   Maybe that was my deserved fate after what I had just done. Either way I knew that whether or not I was able to apologize to Susan in person, I knew she was a kind soul and would forgive me. She really was one of a kind. I had so many passing thoughts like that as I grew weaker.  For how long I sat their half dazed and half-asleep or maybe even half dead, if there is such a thing, I do not know. Shortly, a group of men came through the woods and spotted me. I must have moved or made a noise to get their attention. They rushed quickly to my aid. One, just by chance, or a miracle, happened to be trained in wound caring. He looked at my wound. I overheard him say it was only a flesh wound but a very bad one at that. He said. “A gash like it could be mended and might heal if it did not get gangrene.” I then heard him say. “If only we just had some needle and thread,” I pointed weakly to my pocket. He reached in and took out a small package. I wanted to live. And I remembered I had the package of fishhooks I had gotten in Paducah when I visited uncle Billy. I figured maybe they would make a good sewing needle in such a pinch. He looked at them, took one out, and pulled a small file from his pocket. He proceeded to file the barb off of the inside turn. He then did something I shall never forget. He reached over to the dead Yankees butchered body and cut a piece of his uniform away. He ripped and tore the cloth to make strings to sew me up with. He quickly fastened long pieces of thread through the knothole on the hook and prepared to darn me like you would a torn feather bed. He said, “Here son drink some of this. It’ll help with the pain.” It was a canteen filled with whiskey. I did not really want it.  But he said, “Son drink it. You’re going to need it. That’s an order. I’m fixing to pour whiskey on your wound to clean it. And it’s going to burn… A LOT! Drink it son. That’s an order.”  I put the canteen to my lips and took a mouth full and swallowed. It burned my mouth and throat and especially my stomach when it hit. A mouth full of mama’s lye soap could not have burned more.  “Again son,” he said. I swallowed another mouth full. It did not burn as much this time. He waited a few more moments and while he did the whiskey started to take effect. Being so tired, losing blood, being emotionally drained, plus a third mouthful of whiskey made my head start to spin. He gently rolled me onto my side. He asked me to hold the cloth from the butchered Yankees uniform in case he needed more for thread. As I looked at the cloth I felt a terrible shame and sadness. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how a man I had just butchered to death was sacrificing a piece of himself to help save me. I killed him in a fit of blood lust and hatred. Now all I wanted to do was thank him. He told me to get ready as he poured the whiskey onto my side. When he did I thought he was branding me like a cow as the whiskey burned like fire. I cried out from the pain which was worse than when the Yankee had skewered me. In a moment the burning stopped.    By then I felt I guess what you might call drunk. I even laughed a bit as I felt the prick of the hook in my skin over and over as he quilted me. I thought this must be a baptism of blood and whiskey for that was all I could taste, smell, or see. After a bit I either fell off to sleep or passed out, I do not know which, not knowing if I would ever wake up again.  J.D. Sims reflects on his impending death after being wounded at The Battle of Stones River and a seemingly miraculous bit of fortune in “I Didn’t Sign Up For This”. Find out what happens next.                                                                     For more information see; https://www.prlog.org/12557491-kentucky-author-wins-publishing-contract-with-civil-war-novel.html and www.Facebook.com/Ididntsignup and authorpage.co/donckean/ Available at www.amazon.in/I-Didnt-Sign-Up-Thisebook/dp/B0171WH8Q8

[drdonckeandmdposts-blog]

A BAPTISM OF BLOOD AND WHISKEY  (An excerpt from the book “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS”)                                                                                              My left side was covered in blood. I was terribly thirsty as men are when they are bleeding. My canteen was soaked in the red liquid. But it mattered not as I opened it and drank my fill. There was no one else alive around. I figured I would just slowly fall asleep as my blood leaked onto the ground. I shut my eyes. My thoughts turned to my folks. How would they take my passing? I knew they would be devastated. I felt terrible for having done this to them. What a fool I was for signing up for this. For some strange reason a vision of Susan Lyons passed through my head. I do not know why I thought of her at that moment. Maybe it was because of the joke I made the last time I saw her. She was so upset and now it looked like the joke was really not a joke at all. It was going to be the truth. I might go back home in a pine box. But even that was not such a sure thing in war. They might never find my body. I might lay here after death and just rot like a log. I might become food for the worms and maggots.   Maybe that was my deserved fate after what I had just done. Either way I knew that whether or not I was able to apologize to Susan in person, I knew she was a kind soul and would forgive me. She really was one of a kind. I had so many passing thoughts like that as I grew weaker.  For how long I sat their half dazed and half-asleep or maybe even half dead, if there is such a thing, I do not know. Shortly, a group of men came through the woods and spotted me. I must have moved or made a noise to get their attention. They rushed quickly to my aid. One, just by chance, or a miracle, happened to be trained in wound caring. He looked at my wound. I overheard him say it was only a flesh wound but a very bad one at that. He said. “A gash like it could be mended and might heal if it did not get gangrene.” I then heard him say. “If only we just had some needle and thread,” I pointed weakly to my pocket. He reached in and took out a small package. I wanted to live. And I remembered I had the package of fishhooks I had gotten in Paducah when I visited uncle Billy. I figured maybe they would make a good sewing needle in such a pinch. He looked at them, took one out, and pulled a small file from his pocket. He proceeded to file the barb off of the inside turn. He then did something I shall never forget. He reached over to the dead Yankees butchered body and cut a piece of his uniform away. He ripped and tore the cloth to make strings to sew me up with. He quickly fastened long pieces of thread through the knothole on the hook and prepared to darn me like you would a torn feather bed. He said, “Here son drink some of this. It’ll help with the pain.” It was a canteen filled with whiskey. I did not really want it.  But he said, “Son drink it. You’re going to need it. That’s an order. I’m fixing to pour whiskey on your wound to clean it. And it’s going to burn… A LOT! Drink it son. That’s an order.”  I put the canteen to my lips and took a mouth full and swallowed. It burned my mouth and throat and especially my stomach when it hit. A mouth full of mama’s lye soap could not have burned more.  “Again son,” he said. I swallowed another mouth full. It did not burn as much this time. He waited a few more moments and while he did the whiskey started to take effect. Being so tired, losing blood, being emotionally drained, plus a third mouthful of whiskey made my head start to spin. He gently rolled me onto my side. He asked me to hold the cloth from the butchered Yankees uniform in case he needed more for thread. As I looked at the cloth I felt a terrible shame and sadness. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how a man I had just butchered to death was sacrificing a piece of himself to help save me. I killed him in a fit of blood lust and hatred. Now all I wanted to do was thank him. He told me to get ready as he poured the whiskey onto my side. When he did I thought he was branding me like a cow as the whiskey burned like fire. I cried out from the pain which was worse than when the Yankee had skewered me. In a moment the burning stopped.    By then I felt I guess what you might call drunk. I even laughed a bit as I felt the prick of the hook in my skin over and over as he quilted me. I thought this must be a baptism of blood and whiskey for that was all I could taste, smell, or see. After a bit I either fell off to sleep or passed out, I do not know which, not knowing if I would ever wake up again.  J.D. Sims reflects on his impending death after being wounded at The Battle of Stones River and a seemingly miraculous bit of fortune in “I Didn’t Sign Up For This”. Find out what happens next.                                                                     For more information see; https://www.prlog.org/12557491-kentucky-author-wins-publishing-contract-with-civil-war-novel.html and www.Facebook.com/Ididntsignup and authorpage.co/donckean/ Available at www.amazon.in/I-Didnt-Sign-Up-Thisebook/dp/B0171WH8Q8