#BET awards 😭……

[tariah23]

Wp so fucking nasty bro.

[neuvistar]

IVE BEEN TELLIN YALL.

you guys can’t look at me n say he doesn’t look like he eats n devours pussy for breakfast snack lunch and dinner 😭🙏 like.. he’s literally an award winning pussy eater bro

aventurine ik what u are………. ik u think abt pussy often……..

[zhenja483]

Okay, I just finished watching TUA season 4 and WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS THAT????

*sorry spoilers in the tags- I just need to get this out of my chest rn.

[liquoricebxxxh]

Now what she mean when she thanked her for being, “interesting” and “forward”, with that face at that?

[namor-shuri]

SOMEONE COME GET THEIR FATHER! THESE CLIPS ARE EVERYTHING 😭💜 #HESINVITEDTOTHECOOKOUT. BONUS CLIP OF HIM GETTING TACOS BEFORE THE AFTER PARTY

[alphinias]

Madison retweeted mtvs tweet about her and Rudy’s kiss nomination I knew I could count on her to at least acknowledge it!

Queen.

[goldennika]

HYBE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???

[aventurineswife]

The dad Aventurine fic genuinely made me want to cry but now i can't stop thinking of something

Imagine Aventurine having an extremely chaotic kid, like one of those kids where u take your eyes off of them 00.1 seconds and they 10 broken bones, have broken at least 15 vases and is currently on a sugar rush from eating too much candy.

It can be either a boy or a girl! Im very in love with your writing and i'd love to see your own thoughts on this Idea. Overall just Aventurine having to deal with his little demon spawn

The Greatest Award

Summary: Aventurine’s life is a high-stakes game, but nothing could prepare him for the chaos of parenting his five-year-old child. In a single afternoon, his once-luxurious office is reduced to shambles, courtesy of a sugar-fueled miniature whirlwind. As Aventurine tries to reign in the chaos with his usual charm and strategy, he learns that even the sharpest gambler can’t outwit the boundless energy and imagination of their own child.

Tags: Dad!Aventurine and his demon spawn child, Parent-Child Bonding, Domestic Chaos, Fluff and Humor, Mischievous Child, Found Family Themes.

Warnings: Mildly Destructive Child Antics, Implied Past Trauma(?), Excessive Use of Candy and Paint.

A/N: I lost my previous fic i wrote about this req, seems like it didn't save... 😭😔💔. So, have this while I cry with my broken back 😪

The room, once an opulent display of Aventurine’s impeccable taste, now resembled the aftermath of a casino heist gone wrong. The velvet curtains had been pulled down, puddling on the floor like fallen royalty. His priceless roulette-themed rug? Drenched in some unidentifiable sticky substance that smelled faintly of caramel.

And in the center of it all stood the culprit—Aventurine’s five-year-old child, grinning like a miniature devil. Their hair, much like their father’s, was streaked with suspiciously bright blue paint. In their hand, they wielded what appeared to be the broken leg of an antique chair as if it were a sword, declaring, “I’m the Ruler of the Candy Castle!”

“Darling,” Aventurine’s voice was sharp but calm, his smile firmly in place despite the chaos around him. “Care to explain why my baccarat table is missing a leg?”

The child tilted their head, pretending to think. “A monster ate it.”

“A monster?” Aventurine pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a rare migraine brewing. “Was it the same monster who broke three vases, emptied my desk drawer of poker chips, and decided my coat rack was a jungle gym?”

They nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, and then it told me candy makes monsters go away!”

Before he could respond, they took off like a rocket, their tiny feet thundering across the marble floor.

“Darling—” Aventurine began, but they were already scaling a bookshelf like some kind of sugar-fueled mountain goat.

For a moment, he simply stared, calculating the odds of them not breaking a limb versus the likelihood of toppling the entire structure. Slim to none. He reached out just in time to catch them mid-leap, their laughter ringing in his ears as he set them firmly back on the ground.

“Listen, kitten,” he said, crouching down to meet their wild eyes. “You’re giving Daddy a run for his money, and I don’t lose. But if you keep this up, I might have to start betting on when you’ll turn the entire estate into rubble.”

They gasped dramatically. “You’d bet on me?”

“Absolutely.” He tapped their nose. “But I’d also bet that if you sat down for five minutes—five minutes, mind you—I’d let you pick out the next ridiculous hat I wear to work.”

Their eyes sparkled with devious glee. “Even the one with the feathers?”

Aventurine suppressed a groan. He had gambled with empires, conned royalty, and survived assassination attempts, yet this small, chaotic creature could bring him to his knees with a single demand. “Even the one with the feathers.”

They pretended to consider his offer before darting off again, leaving Aventurine in their wake. A crash echoed from the next room, followed by an enthusiastic, “Oops!”

He stood, smoothing his blazer as he surveyed the wreckage of his once-pristine office. This was just another high-stakes game, he reminded himself. The rules were unconventional, the opponent unpredictable, but Aventurine always played to win.

“Alright, darling,” he called, striding after them. “You’ve forced my hand. It’s time to introduce you to the most dangerous weapon in Daddy’s arsenal.”

They peeked out from behind an overturned chair, curious. “What is it?”

He smirked, pulling out a deck of cards. “A little thing called discipline.”

Their giggle echoed through the halls, and Aventurine couldn’t help but laugh too. Because despite the chaos, the broken vases, and the candy-fueled mayhem, he wouldn’t trade his little demon spawn for all the chips in the universe.

[sharkorok]

all eyes on you (enhypen)

or the moments that make everyone think you’re dating

cw/genre: idol!reader, reader doesnt have specified gender but implied to be a female, fluff, so cute bye, secret relationships, humor, u have delulu fans

requested: naurrr

a/n: ehe thx for 100 followers :) I hope my writing makes u happy because knowing people read my works makes me super duper happy! luv uuuu

•-•-•-•-•-•

heeseung

-at an awards show your outfits were matching, like very obviously matching

-matching bracelets, you had one on your left wrist and he had one on the right, the colors matched each other, same style and aesthetic…

-he gets v nervous but also you were in some dating rumors with another idol so…he wouldn’t be mad if he was next tbh….BUT THEN UR GROUP WAS ASSIGNED NEXT TO HIM??

-dawg was sweating the whole time trying not to admire you and how cute you two looked

-but no every one of those “enhypen mma reaction” or “heeseung reaction focus” showed him very clearly staring at you 😭, twt had a field day with you two

-he can’t help it, you looked so good and how can he keep his eyes off his lovely s/o when they’re all dressed up + matching?? seriously his management was insane for putting him so close to you

-and when all groups were leaving he was seen literally sprinting to be closer to you

-ya dispatch didn’t even need to confirm anything after that awards show

the others r below!

jay

-during a live he got his guitar out and started playing all your favorite songs

-and this was literally a day after you named your favorite songs

-then to make it worse he was like “yeah these are y/n’s favorite songs don’t they have good music taste?” and then he kept talking about you and staff was sweating while watching istg

-the way he talked about you tho,,he either had a massive crush on you or you two were dating

-the ship edits the next day were insane honestly some of your fans need to get into the editing business because you genuinely believed a photo of him holding your waist was taken at inkigayo

-he doesn’t even try to hide how much he likes you istg, he goes out of his way to talk to you at awards shows and always films challenges with you, he gives the shippers so much content

-then another time jay cooked your favorite food in a vlog and specifically said it was your favorite food, name dropping and everything

-literally no one is surprised that you two are confirmed dating after a while.

jake

-accidentally went on live while talking about you

-he fully believed he closed out of the app when he was talking to jay and saying stuff like, “I’m really excited to see her at the performance, I hope we have time to hang out…” and then he hears notifications and sees that he was streaming and he nearly faints

-plays it off like he fully intended for everyone to hear that and continues like he planned on going live

-he’s also trying to hide the way his eyes flickered up to your rapid texts being like, “JAKE WHY ARE WE TRENDING ON TWITTER??”

-jay is behind the camera just trying not to laugh becuz how do you even recover from this one, literally all the comments are talking about you and him

-“y/n…? yeah ahahah I know her uh huh mhm anyways moving on” and his horrible deflecting skills are making it even more obvious

-and when you go on live?? oh u bet the comments are “did you see jake’s recent live?? are u cheating on us y/n?”

-u desperately distract by spoiling your comeback but there’s already 14k Tik toks analyzing every interaction you had with Jake and why you two are cosmically intertwined

sunghoon

-describes you to a T when asked about his ideal type

-he meant to just mention the broad details but he gets excited talking about u ok :(

-“yeah a good heart and around (your exact height), with (the hex code of your eye color) eyes, born on (your birthday), hobbies include (every single one of your hobbies) and also…(literally all the information under your kprofiles page)”

-ur fans catch on and are like “isn’t this literally y/n” and he’s like “omg nooo coincidence”

-it is NOT a coincidence bro he was fully thinking of you and only you during that interview

-anyways you don’t help the situation by describing him too when asked about your ideal type, but ur at least a tad less obvious 😭

-“yea I love guys who ice skate and stuff”

-u two definitely get scolded by management

sunoo

-sometimes he forgets to care about keeping things secret (like that lipton tea thing he did)

-so he’s showing fans his camera roll and he shows selfies you never posted before…in his camera roll…never before seen by anyone but him and you to the camera and is like

-“y/n’s visual is so perfect, right?”

-and yeah duh ur stunning and gorgeous but fans are distracted by your beauty for a second before being like “hm…how did he get those selfies and why r they in his camera roll”

-ur fans r thankful for the content tho so he kinda did everyone a favor

-but it’s a LITTLE suspicious…but neither of you address anything so it just festers a little

-until you two do a tik tok challenge together and he captions it with a heart emoji like oh my god 😭

-you’re not innocent either when you said “sunoo’s visual is so amazing” like both of you get some media training I beg

-everyone loves how obviously whipped you two are for each other tho :,)

jungwon

-accidentally exposes your polaroid in his phone case

-thankfully he has photos of his members and maeum but why were you there??

-he completely ignores it tbh he shows the photos to the camera and is like “these r the polaroids in my phone case. anyways.” n he’s playing it cool but internally he’s PANICKING

-“hopefully they didn’t see the heart I drew on the Polaroid,” he thinks foolishly

-we did.

-so you try to do some damage control on your own live when asked about why he has ur photo in his phone and ur like “oh we’re really close friends!!”

-n honestly that’s a good and healthy response because everyone has the right to their platonic relationships

-but jungwon’s heart he drew on your Polaroid was just a little bit tooooo suspicious…anyways this leads to fans over-analyzing every single interaction to the point you two weren’t allowed to be seen in a ten foot proximity at events for a while

-but at least it reminded jungwon to be more careful lolol

niki

-accidentally rizzes you up on live television

-you’re an mc for smth and you’re interviewing enhypen and you’re like, “oooh, some burning questions, what is your ideal type?”

-and Niki, with no hesitation fully goes, “you lol” and you see ur career flash before your eyes

-ur co mc is nervously laughing and niki realizes like oh wait we’re being broadcasted so he’s like “oh just kidding haha!!!” even though you two are making awkward eye contact while you’re mentally scolding him

-he’s so used to teasing and flirting with you in private so it’s a little hard to shake off in public

-anyways fans notice he’s looking at you a little too lovingly and being a little too genuine when he responded so it’s not long before you see ship edits on Twitter and tik tok

-doesn’t help when you answer the ideal type question with “someone who is playful and funny” thinking it was broad enough but ‘twas not <3

-he doesn’t really care too much but thought it was funny, even if he had to take a media training class again afterwards >:T

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

Content: Theater Kid!Chrollo x Theater Kid!Reader, modern era, no Nen or crazy stuff, the Troupe members are just kids who grew up in the same neighborhood and had happy childhoods🥹, SARASA IS ALIVE!!!, female reader (I’m so sorry😭), mentions of different musicals and plays, mentions of séx, mostly fluff

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Theatre Kid!Chrollo, who’s known you ever since you were both only 6. Your parents both brought you to the same youth theater program 2 towns down just to see how the both of you would be as actors. Chrollo is staring at you doing the improv, impressed by how quickly you can snap back with such an emotional line right after the person in front of you starts the scene with no context at all.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who falls in love with you because of how talented you are in acting, your angelic voice, and hardworking attitude. Whenever you’re both performing a show together, even if the director cuts a scene or adds a scene within a day’s notice, you’ll have it mastered within that very day. He can’t help that the admiration turns into romantic feelings!

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who’s ecstatic whenever you’re both cast as some sort of romantic duo. Whether it’s the Phantom and Christine, Cady and Aaron, Gabriella and Troy (which you weren’t particularly happy about), Ben and Mal, Marius and Cosette, or Alexander and Eliza (Chrollo wasn’t too happy about that one)

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who is perfect at acting JD from the Heathers. His acting is so impeccable and realistic, but when you’re cast as Veronica and Chrollo is singing Meant To Be Yours, his reaction seeing your “dead” body doesn’t really seem like acting anymore, especially not the small sobs that he lets out

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who acts so well with you whenever you’re in a romantic duo together that the entire school ships the both of you. Especially in the curtain call, when you and Chrollo walk out together, everyone is cheering for the both of you to kiss, in which Chrollo playfully “pretends” to plant his lips on yours until you walk away, fanning your bright red face. You tell him it’s just the bright lights shining on you that makes you feel warm—yep, it’s totally not the fact that Chrollo almost kissed you. Yep, totally.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who is always the one paying for your food at the after parties. Whether the party is at a steakhouse or sushi restaurant, he will always take out that damn wallet before you do and pay for whatever you want to eat or crave that day.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who finally kisses you during the last curtain call of your senior year. You can see Shalnark, Bonolenov, and Kortopi cheering, Franklin and Pakunoda clapping, and Phinks, Feitan, and Nobunaga seemingly talking about bets, and Nobunaga taking out his wallet in annoyance to give Phinks and Feitan both 500 dollars.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who goes to the same elite college as you to pursue an acting career. You’re both dating, though unlike your child and teenage days, you’re not constantly acting in the same shows anymore. You both get role offers often, with mind blowing auditions.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who only ever talks about you during interviews. Social media and paparazzi go crazy over the both of you, making so many edits of the both of you to all sorts of songs. The amount of edits you’ve seen of the both of you with people calling you both “mother and father” or saying “help bi panic rn” is honestly funny.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who proposes to you at age 24 at the Oscars after he won the best actor award. Everyone on the internet and the awards ceremony is going crazy, and when you say yes, all you can hear are screams, cheers, and clapping—but all you can feel are Chrollo’s strong arms holding you close and his lips on yours.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who cries when he sees you in the white dress. After all those times the characters that you both act get married, the actors acting those married roles are finally getting married themselves.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who is always joking about “consummating your marriage” right in front of the paparazzi and media, in which you always pretend that you don’t know him, much to the internet and your fans’ amusement.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who is always shielding you from the paparazzi. The moment Chrollo sees one, he instinctively walks with his arm looped around your waist, other hand holding yours as he stares at the paparazzi trying to take a picture of you. Whenever someone asks a weird question about you during an interview, Chrollo isn’t afraid to shoot right back with a snarky yet still polite reply.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who is infinitely more protective of you while you’re pregnant. You have some insane pregnancy glow, and he’s aware of that. So whenever you’re on the red carpet and all sorts of people are taking pictures of you and your bump, Chrollo makes sure that they don’t get too close and make you uncomfortable.

Theater Kid!Chrollo, who isn’t a kid anymore. In fact, he has kids. He’s always making sure that your twin son and daughter never have much information given about them to the media, and that the media won’t get many pictures of them—if any at all. After some incidents of invasive paparazzi taking pictures of your kids and posting them on social media, both you are Chrollo are pretty damn close to quitting acting just to make sure something like this never happens again. Finally, after much coaxing from your managers, agents, and publicists, you both finally decide not to after setting some ground rules.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

bro why was i using the word “internet” like im a millennial or something😭 guys im gen z i swear

[accio-victuuri]

April CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

• BJYX shows up in station sisters team building photos/videos. proving that the pairing is still very much relevant and loved 🫶🏼

• allegedly spending some time together 4/2 and 4/3 when yibo went to shanghai

• cql and xz gets mentioned in a livestream for WoF

• wyb with a beaded bracelet that seems to be a clue that he spent time with GG ; more on the initial thoughts about the bracelet and why give an obsidian one

•zsww fake rumor of their meet up

•their love for watching old cctv spring festival gala sketches

• 4/8, in the FPU douyin update, he continues on with the dog theme ☺️ he really is a puppy! gouzaizai!

• not really a cpn/candy but their name side by side for the alleged registration list for Magnolia Award. i’m just so proud and as a cpf, it feels good seeing them succeed. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

• 4/8 cpns : fan used for camping that xz uses, the number 38 and us clowning about concerts

• some are comparing this interaction between wyb and hjy in FPU bts with how he is with GG. saying when he is hurt, he goes all out and shows it to GG but with others he won’t say anything. i agree that this thing is true both for GG/WYB, meaning they only show “weakness” to each other 🥺🥺🥺

* throwback post : fake rumor story during cql shoot of someone that works closely with yibo

• this side by side photo, they look alike in this profile!

• 4/16/24 zsww rumor

• the rumor that wyb visited LOZ shoot and my thoughts on it ; i know i cannot stop people from “enjoying” this material and what it potentially implies but i personally cannot condone the type of behavior that disrespects them. especially xz who has been v frustrated with the leaks happening in his project. and just to dispel the rumors, this is who people are saying is supposedly yibo ⬇️⬇️⬇️

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

no shade to this guy. he was just a victim of people’s overzealous tendencies. this is not the first time cpfs have done this, in OOL and OnO we’ve had questionable video evidences too which is most likely not who we think it is. please stop. it’s not just the leaks. we have to protect them. we know they visit each other, let’s just bridge the clues with what they give us. we cpn that they visit the ST or probably even follow certain cpf accounts, there is just no universe that they will see this kind of conversations related to leaked photos and videos and be happy about it.

• DESCENDANTS OF THE SUN AU 😭😭😭😭 idk man. military/police wyb and doctor xz pairing is really top notch!

• 4/19 xiao zhan weibo post for the 6th solar term - Guyu ( Grain Rain ) and all the clowning: one / two

• 4/20 zsww rumor ; hinting at them working on a project where one will direct and the other will act

• WYB’s GQ hat could be a custom made one from Tod’s????

• A new explanation about the mystery driver and comparing it to the mask WYB uses

• There has been some conversation because of WYB’s bazaar shoot with his FPU co star/team and that it’s no longer just XZ that he has done that with. Well i have to say that no matter what people say, the bazaar one with XZ is different. just the production value and theme of it — was more romantic and WYB was totally expressive. plus don’t forget that the shoot for that was where xz called him Venus. it will always be special, cause it’s just the 2 of them. there is no use comparing, i bet you, xz will have a joint cover or spread for LOCH with the female lead. it is part of marketing.

• yibo and his rainbow necklace 🌈

• I will add this here cause i don’t think it needs a separate post with how galaxy brain it is. it’s about certain photos uploaded by YBO being 2.3 MB in size. 23 love zhan. whether this is intentional or something special. who knows. it just came up again this month because the bear photo is with the same file size. 🤷🏻‍♀️

other instances are outlined by this account on weibo :

February 3, 2:30 pm (Picture 1) // May 11 (Picture 3) // June 1st, Children’s Day, “Children are in love” (Picture 5) // August 5th, birthday composition (Picture 7)// November 22 (Picture 9)

• 4/29 zsww fake rumor

• GUCCI wall 2.0 is close to Lacoste big screen ad! oh the possibilities!

• 4/29 candies to enjoy ( includes: their promos not overlapping, jiayou parallel, double standards and the bead bracelet discussion again )

See you all next month! ✌🏼💛

<<< previous month

[thatlovelywitch]

𝙰𝙾𝚃 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙾𝚁 𝙰𝚄 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙲𝙾𝙿𝙴 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 2

✨Falco Grice's cheeks have never seen a day of rest since he joined the cast. They are everyone's personal squishie or stress ball and they're always red when he goes home

✨ Levi has another signature other than the iconic cut: kohl. No matter the fit, his eyes are kohled on the red carpet

✨ Levi and Hange did a hit psychological horror movie together as the main leads. Theatre was shook, Tiktok was shook, Theatre was shook and people watched it for.....the amazing plot (the plot was Hange in a lacy black bar and low rise jeans covered in blood and Levi in the shower)

✨ Sasha has taken singing/music lessons since she was a kid, so she has a beautiful voice and can play the electric guitar, acoustic guitar, piano and keyboard. She has a music career aside from acting, and her songs tend to go viral Tiktok for cute trends. Her music has Clairo or Mazzy Star vibes, but she also likes it a bit risque so expect some softer R&B Kehlani type beats too. She tends to forget a lot of her fans are kids though LOL apology statements have been released (left a lip stick mark on an adult male fan's shirt and humped the floor while there were kids in the audience chile)

✨ Armin is THE SWEETEST EVER to kid fans like kid fans are his favorite and it shows. He'll always doodle a heart or sumn when he signs an autograph and you bet he'll go all soft complimenting the kid's mini plushie of him or their little Survey Corps cape

"Aww look at your cape yknow little buddy I had one too but it's not as cool as yours"

✨ Historia and Ymir. NOBODY has deciphered to this day if they're besties or dating it's that confusing and they don't make it any easier to guess.

✨ Annie and Mikasa call each other "wifey" and people try and start like imaginary beef between them like 13 year olds with too much time lol and all the while they're gossiping at award shows and feeding each other pudding or having sleepovers

✨ Zeke is a swiftie and he was the most EMBARRASSING CELEB MEMBER IN THE CROWD 😭 my brotha was twerking during more sensual or hardcore songs and he was getting drunk back there

✨ Erwin is NEVER dodging Captain America allegations he's tried to deny the rumors of him replacing Chris Evans since 2013 to no avail

✨ Erwin is a girl dad who keeps his relationship with his wife very private but sometimes he shares pictures of his life as a married man. The fandom will never get over him in a pink wig

✨ Pieck is a pretty privilege Tiktok lipsync star and we love that for her

✨ Jean and Connie did the Buzzfeed thirst tweets video tgt

✨ "Dude listen I've been goin to the bathroom with him for a decade now and it's more of a pony than a horse"

"Istg if yo bald head don't-"

✨ Eren Yeager reposts bad mafia x y/n Tiktok POV's of him

✨ Eren calls his fans pookie

[an0ma1y-th3d0ma1y]

May I so humbly request headcanons for the high guard? Starscream’s my love and he deserves to be lovingly destroyed😊

bet

Starscream

LEE:

- little whiny bitch baby

- Absolutely HATES being tickled, not because he doesn’t like the feeling but because it makes him feel small and weak

- VERY ticklish, will launch 10 feet in the air if you poke him (/srs)

- Worst spots are his ribs, hips, and wings. Ironically, he constantly protects these spots even when he’s not getting wrecked

- Very cackly laugh, will squirm like you’re ripping out his spine

- If you straddle his waist while you’re tickling him there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll activate his rocket pedes just to throw you off of him

- Will not accept aftercare at all and will hate you for the next 2 weeks

LER:

- Especially when he’s mad he’s MEAN mean

- Usually tickles bots if they wreck him first or if he wants to assert his dominance in a ‘non violent way’

- He’s horribly skillful when it comes to tickling other bots 😭 he’ll be switching from slow tickles to harsh ones to fast ones all over your death spots to really rub it in

- MEANEST TEASER AWARD. He’ll say shit like “Come on, rise up against me! I can’t have scrap metal as my high guard.”

- the claws,, oh god the claws. I know no one in tfone has claws but just IMAGINE.

- Will either leave you to die on the ground after wrecking you to shreds or actually help you

- and by help i mean throwing a glass of energon on you

- “Here. DRINK.”

- my summary I love him

Soundwave

LEE:

- i unfortunately do not see him being much of a lee 😞

- He’s got some weak points, but overall falls into the ‘not ticklish’ category

- If you try and tickle him he’ll immediately grab your hand and just *stare*

- If you do somehow manage to wiggle your fingers into a weak spot without him noticing, you might get some giggles.. before he blasts you into a wall

LER:

- ohhhh i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM

- Doesn’t tease a lot but he doesn’t need to 😭

- his main tactic is trapping a bot in his lap or against his chest and just effortlessly pinching or scribbling at their worst spot. It may sound tame but it’s so bad

- Wrecks Shockwave a lot if he’s being super pissy or if he just feels like it

- Will only stop when you’re starting to lose your voice box (unlike starscream) and will just hold you in his arms/lap :’]

- once he’s sure you’re back online he’ll send you on your way, making sure you learned your lesson

Shockwave

LEE:

- Isn’t as ticklish as Starscream BUT is more ticklish than Soundwave

- Worst spots are his thighs and ribs

- Laughs like a supervillain 😭😭 lots and lots of cackles

- Has to be straddled or overall restrained, otherwise he can EASILY throw you off of him

- Like I mentioned, gets wrecked by Soundwave a lot. Is a lot less likely to try and fight back whenever it does occur just cause he doesn’t wanna blow a hole through his chest

- silly silly man

LER:

- Will have no hesitation in wrecking you

- VERY very teasy 😭 can get you giggling without even touching you

- “Enough squirming, scraphead! Don’t make me make you regret it..”

- vibrates his servos (or… servo. sorry bud) into your ribs or belly to make you SCREAM

- If you make a silly sound he’ll chuckle all like “I’ll make sure to save that to my database..”

- After he’s done wrecking you he’ll just tell you it was your fault PGJRJF

- “Maybe if you weren’t such a fragging glitch you wouldn’t end up here.”

IM SO SORRY IF I MISCHARACTERIZED THEM PLEASE FORGIVE ME 😕

[pedropascalsx]

Dabble request: F reader with Dieter Bravo. He finally wins a major award and the reader decides to award him with smutty sex

THE AWARD.

I slightly changed it and had them enter a bet… I hope that’s okay and I hope you like it. Also you sent this in April and I missed it, i’m so sorry it took so long.

Summary: you jokingly bet that you’ll fuck your best friend dieter bravo if he wins an oscar.

Warnings: Smut. P in V. Oral. (M&F receiving). Betting. Strong language. Dieter Bravo being… Dieter Bravo.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

Word Count: 2053

A/N: I tried LOL. Thank you to @littlebirdsbookshelf for reading an unfinished version of this fic and encouraging me to finish it. I didn’t edit it and I’m too scared to read it back… so I don’t know how many mistakes are in it 😭😂 ENJOY!!

You groan as your phone wakes you up from the most comfortable sleep you’ve had in weeks, before reluctantly kicking off your covers and stepping out of bed.

The photo of Dieter Bravo's smug face flashing up on your phone screen makes you roll your eyes and curse his name before you swipe to answer. “It’s 5AM Diet, if someone isn’t dead, you’re able to be,” you growl into the phone.

“Shut up,” he says with an obnoxious chuckle, “I’m cashing in on our bet, pretty girl.”

“What?” You say before stuttering, “No. Not today, I’m not playing any of your annoying games this early.. . I’m hanging up and I'm going back to sleep, asshat.” You say, with a wide smile spreading across your face from the sound of his chuckling.

“I can hear you smiling.” He remarks and you roll your eyes again at how easily he can read you.

“What do you want, Dieter? I’m tired.”

“I already told you, I’m cashing in on our bet. March 21st 2015. You said you’d fuck me when I win an Academy Award.” Dieter recalls, his voice dripping with its usual arrogance.

“Buying a fake one from Etsy doesn’t count,” you sigh, imagining he’s just dragged himself back to his hotel from some club, “Dieter, if you haven’t already, go to bed, get so—.”

“I’m nominated,” he interrupts, ignoring the irritation in your voice, “My agent called me fifteen minutes ago. For Hunger Strike - Best Leading Actor.”

“Dieter, you better not be fucking with me.” You squeal with excitement, almost jumping up and down on the spot.

“Not yet, I’m not, pretty girl.”

“When are you home?” You ask, suddenly forgetting how tired you are.

“Eager are we?” He says, his eyebrows raising and the first real smile forming across his face in weeks despite his nomination.

“Shut up, asshat, you’ve got to fucking win the thing first… and if I recall correctly, which I do, I think I said I’d consider fucking you if you ever win one and I only said it so you’d take that damn role.”

“Mhmm. Nope. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘consider’ fall from those gorgeous lips before now,” he teases. “But jokes aside… Tell me you’ll come with me, I hate those fucking things, they’re only fun if you’re swooning over how handsome I am in a suit sitting next to me.”

“Shut up, asshat.”

“Come with me, pretty girl, put those shiny statues to shame, show them how you shine brighter.” He says, unaware of just how fucking cheesy he ends up sounding.

“Only if you buy me a burger after.” You say, glad he isn’t there to see the way you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling.

“Deal.”

*

You haven’t left his side for the past few days, he had asked you quietly to stay with him while he went through the required amount of press and you had made sure that your hand was close enough for him to squeeze when he needed it.

And today was no different, the confident Dieter Bravo the whole world thinks that they know, nowhere to be seen and instead the sweet Dieter that a few people have the pleasure of knowing sits beside you, looking at the dress bag containing the tuxedo he’ll be adorning in just a few hours time.

“You okay?” You ask, quietly bumping your shoulder against his.

“Ask me again when this is all over,” he says, before taking a generous sip of his drink. “I fucking hate red carpets.”

You take his hand and squeeze it a few times, before resting your head on those broad shoulders that you love so much.

“Whatever happens tonight, I’m really fucking proud of you.” You murmur into his skin, “Always have been, you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.”

He shushes you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, grateful that you’re with him. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Let’s do this.” You say, with a little scrunch of your nose.

*

“And the Academy Award goes to… Dieter Bravo.” The gorgeous actress announces and you swear you can hear his heart beating.

He stands slowly, fiddling with the front of his jacket before turning to face you, immediately smashing his lips to yours in a fleeting kiss that steals your breath before shaking the hand of his director and making his way to the stage.

His speech is short but insightful. He makes sure to make eye contact with you as he thanks you for encouraging him to take the role and then shuffles off the stage as quickly as he can.

“Will you be mad if I suggest we skip the after party?” He asks after they finish engraving his oscar, the award ceremony now over and more hands shook than he could possibly be bothered to count.

“Not at all,” you say, resting your head against his shoulder, and inspecting his shiny new award.

“Room service burgers and a shitty movie to fall asleep in front of?” He suggests, before wrapping his hand around your waist.

“Sounds like heaven.”

*

“It’s really fucking pretty,” you say, your hands wrapped around the statue.

“Yeah,” he says, from somewhere behind you. Unable to stop his eyes from scanning up and down your body, and unable to ignore the way his heart leaps everytime he looks at you. “Second prettiest thing in this room.”

“I’d call you a charmer, but I'm pretty certain you’re about to announce that you’re in first place,” you say, turning around to face him with a giggle and a signature scrunch of your nose.

“No. It’s you.” He says, “In every room. It’s you.”

“Charmer.”

You both stand in comfortable silence for a few moments, just staring at each other before you take a step towards him. “Academy award winner, Dieter Bravo.”

“The one and only,” he scoffs, with a roll of his eyes. “You look really fucking beautiful by the way.”

“Shut up, asshat.” You mumble, now standing toe to toe. Unable to stop thinking about the bet that you had made a few years earlier, one that neither of you had mentioned since the day he was nominated.

He’s been your best friend for years. You met on the set of his very first movie, while working as a makeup artist and immediately struck up a friendship. And while there has always been an obvious attraction between you both, the fear that making a move and acting on it could potentially ruin your friendship had kept those feelings at bay.

But standing here and seeing the way that he’s looking at you, you can’t hold back, so you don’t. You surge forward and capture his lips, kissing him with the same intensity he had kissed you with earlier this evening, but this time it didn’t have to be fleeting. His mouth swallows your moans and his hands start to roam your body, squeezing and grabbing anywhere they could as he kisses you back.

He carefully pulls down the zipper on the back of your dress, dragging it slowly and savouring every second of this moment, a moment he’s been dreaming of since first laying eyes on you.

“Dieter,” you murmur softly against his jaw, wanting him to increase his painfully slow pace of undressing you. “Please.”

He increases his pace, frantically pulling on the material and letting it pool at your feet, before helping you step out of it and guiding you backwards towards the bedroom. His hands still greedily grabbing at any and every part of you as he lays you down.

He wastes exactly no time, pulling your panties off in one clear sweep and diving his head in between your legs. The noises he makes are loud and desperate as he laps at your clit with a messy intensity. Alternating between licking and sucking your little bud, only satisfied when you’re screaming his name and tugging at his signature messy locks before soaking his face with your arousal.

You whimper his name as he continues to lap at your clit, before gently pushing him away as it gets too much. Giggling slightly at the sight of his soaked face.

“Are you planning on getting undressed?” You ask as he moves up your body.

“Not this round,” he growls, before capturing your lips again. His movements are sloppy as he fumbles with his belt, pulling it through the loops and throwing it across the room, before pulling his pants down enough to expose his cock. You push him back slightly, and lay down in front of him on your tummy, a moan slipping out as you take a good look at his cock. Thick, long and throbbing. The tip flushed red with a bead of pre-cum, you lean forward, push up the bottom of his shirt and pepper light kisses on the swell of his tummy, nipping a few times before taking him in your mouth.

He groans your name as you hollow your cheeks, your jaw immediately aching from the sheer width of him and slowly you start to bob your head. Gagging slightly as he rocks his hips and pushes past your tonsils. The snap of his hips meet the rhythm of your enthusiastic mouth. After a few minutes he groans impatiently at not being able to touch you, before pulling out your mouth leaning over you and slapping your ass and then spreading your cheeks and tasting you this way.

You take him in your hand, stroking and flicking your wrist in perfect strokes, moaning his name in a perfect little chant as he uses his nose to tease your clit. You cum with a yelp of his name, taking you both by surprise as he soothes you through the aftershocks with gentle coos and little flicks of his tongue against your pretty little clit.

“On your back, pretty girl,” he orders, giving himself a few rough strokes as he watches you. “You ready for me, baby?” He says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“I'm ready,” you confirm with a giggle, yelping with excitement as he pushes into you. Praising your ‘perfect little pussy’ as he fills you to the hilt. His arms swoop beneath your knees, so he can fuck into your deeper. “Move, D,” you beg as he waits, wanting you to adjust to the size of him.

The second you give him permission, he’s rolling his hips back, watching your face intently before snapping them forward. Loving the sound of your pretty moans as he thrusts back into you. He bends over and presses his lips against your face, thrusting himself in and out of you. Finding that spot and dragging his cock against it with ease, loving how reactive and tight your pussy gets around him.

“Oh Dieter,” you whimper, almost delirious with pleasure.

“I know, fuck, I know, baby girl,” he murmurs, “Taking my fat cock so well, baby.” You love how vocal he is, the sound of both of your moans filling the room. “You know how many times I’ve dreamed of this?” He whispers into your ear. “Every fucking day, since I met you.”

“Me too,” you stutter, seconds before your pussy clamps down around him and everything goes black. White hot pleasure erupting behind your eyes and his name becoming the only word you can speak.

It's a pleasure like you’ve never experienced, you feel him everywhere and you still want more and more. He keeps his pace as steady for as long as he can but his hips begin to falter, his pace more stilted as his cock begins to throb and he pulls out.

Stroking his cock hard and fast as he pants your cunt with thick pearly ropes of his cum.

“Holy shit.” You say with a giggle, “Even better than I imagined, D.”

“Me too,” he says as he collapses on top of you, leaning his weight onto his elbows. Kissing you gently, before nuzzling his face into your neck.

“So how was your night?” You ask with a giggle. “End as good as it started.”

“A million times better.” He says quietly.

You giggle loudly, “Better than winning the most coveted award in acting?”

“Not even a competition. You would win every time.”

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson, paul whitehouse (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[itsmattchou]

have you done a zb1 with idol!reader? like how they'd react to your performances, etc. i bet it would be cute 😋

we are young and wild !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x gn!idol!reader warnings: swearing, overuse of the word "bro", english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: zb1 when their s/o is an idol notes: i loved writing this! school starts on thursday im not oaky to anon: i love idol!reader bc in my opinion its PEAK delulu 🤭 thank you for your request! this turned into more general headcanons, but i still hope you like it!! AND YOU'RE RIGHT IT IS CUTE

GENERAL:

you're a member of the co-ed kpop group "zumblr" (yes they have a comeback). you placed 8th in the finale of delulu planet 999 and now you're member of said 2-year project group. :D

this takes place in a reality where dating isn't a fucking scandal in the industry 🤗

SHEN QUANRUI

dating rumors in 3… 2… 1…

bro doesn't even TRY to hide that you're his s/o ong

it's not like he doesn't value privacy (he very much does) it's just that he doesn't give a fuck??? he doesn't care AT ALL let him be in love with you in peace, it's his business

apart from all these couple items he buys for you two to show off on instagram, he always. just. stares at you. all the time.

ricky doesn't realize it, but there's always a teeny tiny little smile forming on his lips whenever he sees you performing during award shows, comeback stages, concerts etc

bro doesn't even notice when he's on screen when he's watching you perform, he's just in a complete trance 🤩

he desperately wants you to teach him your dances. could he learn them on his own? obviously, he's a talented dancer. but he always insists on you showing them to him

"ricky you can learn that dance yourself, c'mon!" "no lol i can't :D"

when you two appear on the same game show like weekly idol??? bro full on flirts with you

you two were supposed to have a staring contest and suddenly he starts talking about taking you shopping????

"do you wanna go shopping with me? i will pay, come with me." (his members are just like "WHAT THE HELLLLLL")

he tries to write love songs about you. he still has some trouble with writing lyrics in korean, because he obviously wants to perform them, but they're cute nonetheless 🥺

the song titles however always have something to do with you. most of them are kind of lowkey, like his song "darling" (he calls you darling)

or that song that is literally named after your representative emoji??? if your representative emoji is 🐑 for example, his song is called "sheep"

and then there's this one song he just straight up called "y/n"

bro doesn't care💥💥

loves to talk about you on vlive

"someone just asked me what my favorite zumblr song is!! it's 'old guyz on the street', y/n just slayed there!"

nobody asked that. he just wanted to talk about you and made a comment up.

a really popular ship in your fandoms

KIM GYUVIN

okay okay okay OKAY

you two are MCing together. people LOVE you two together because the vibes are immaculate, 11/10 i recommend

and it's not like it's obvious like you're in a relationship

you two may be dating in secret… but you're still acting like best friends

fans just love you two together, wether as best friends or as lovers. and it's obvious that you're close.

some fans that are against shipping always attack gyuyn shippers like "stop shipping them!! it's obvious they're just best friends!! 😡"

gyuvin and you are just laughing your asses off whenever you witness it

when you're performing songs on stage he's always singing and dancing along, having the time of his life. he's basically try harding to become the next meme😭

he really tries to attend every one of your concerts. gets really sad when he can't make it because of his schedule :(

on live? he's blasting your songs and turning into beyoncé whenever your parts come on

bro always advertises your albums and everything, also unboxes your newest album as soon as it comes out

always overdramatically falls to the ground as if somebody SHOT him because he didn't pull your photocard???? bro what's your problem with the chou pc you pulled🤬

he promotes your group more than he promotes his own LMAOOOO

^ always begs you for a signed version of the newest albums

"gyuvin why would you need me to sign the album? i'm literally your partner" "PFFFF i don't want you to sign, i want your members to sign it 🤣"

goes on dates with you in public without shame

he really loves the way most fans just believe you two are best friends, this means he can spend more time with you!!

takes SOOOO many selfies with you, bro even posts some pictures he took when on dates

you two constantly end up on reality shows and talk shows together💀💀

the IT DUO of 5th gen fr fr💪💪

PARK GUNWOOK

the cutest cutie on this planet is the only one who's actually and actively trying to fucking hide the relationship😭

he is a strong believer and lover of that certain thing called "privacy"

so if you ever mention anything about making your relationship public to him he's gonna be like "no NO NUH UH NO CHANCE DEFINITELY NOT"

he's only considering it once you're married in like. 10 years or so.

but he wants to marry you so🤭🤭🤭 a win is a win

he's so glad that both of you are still going to school & that u're in the same class

he can spend time with you without it being suspicious!!

classmates spending time together makes sense after all, especially when you're both idols!!

only problem is… bro cannot stop looking at you with those eyes

he doesn't even notice he does that 💀 but even if he wanted to he couldn't STOP

there's so much fondness in his eyes, it's a sight to cry over FOR REAL

gunwook looks at you like you're the most beautiful person in this universe, like you're the only star that matters to him in the nightsky ygm???

he also does that during your perfomances

no singing along, no dancing, his facial features do not move at all, blank face. it's just his eyes that tell the whole truth

fans be like "i want a man that looks at me the way gunwook looks at zumblr's y/n" and he's like "HUHHHHHH 😱"

other than the way he looks at u he's actually pretty good at keeping it a secret!!

acts as if you're only friends in school

he looooooves buying your albums, he's always pulling up with every single version of your newest album

he puts posters from you up in his childhood room. he'd also decorate his dorm room with pictures of you but he has to vlog in there so he can't 😔😔

cutely asks you for autographs from you :DD

"hi y/n can you please sign the photocard? 🥰" he's so adorable it makes you want to cry

he doesn't have a clear phone case SO that means he can always have your (now signed!!) photocard with him and nobody will ever see it <33

HAN YUJIN

i lied!! he also really tries to keep the relationship a secret!

but unlike gunwook he's really bad at it😭

he's so cute but so awkward at the same time

he doesn't make it obvious in a way that everybody immediately knows "oh, yujin and y/n are dating!"

he makes it obvious in the way he so desperately trying to avoid you that everybody immediately knows "there's something going on🤔"

he was on a show and was asked to dance to zumblrs newest song. he panicked and was like "who? oh uhm zumblr of course i know them hahaha! actually i don't know how to dance! uh hanbin hyung do you wanna try instead?"

somebody please save him😭

in case you didn't understand, he actually LIED on that show

he loves learning your dances

always practices them in private and later shows them to you, looking super proud

"look y/n, i actually know how to dance! i look better than you btw! >:)"

he likes teasing you a lot

whenever you post something on instagram, weverse or whatever, he's texting you about it within the first 5 minutes of you posting it

let's say you posted a selfie with a chocolate drink in the background??

he asks you if he should bring you some chocomilk to your next date

he likes to analyze and rate the pictures. is the lightning good, your posing? bro acts like he's your selca teacher

during performances he always stares into nowhere, making himself zone out because he knows he'd only stare at you if he watched your performance😭

instead he's thinking about what to eat for breakfast or the last kdrama he watched

he would really love to BUT he won't talk about you or your group on vlive

he so obviously avoids the topic of your group that it's kind of an inside joke in the fandom that he probably has some kind of beef with you💀

if you two were to be on the same show he honestly wouldn't know how to act fr

bro wouldn't say a word to you. or to anyone. he'd only stare at the ground. PLEASE SAVE HIM AGAIN