#BECAUSE I MEAN

[a-rat-with-adhd]

They Remind Yall Of Something?

[g1deonthefirst]

i just think if we're going to talk about harrow being a "fundamentally religious" character we also need to talk about the way religion in the nine houses is depicted as a tool of violence and oppression both within and outside of the nine houses.

like clearly jod uses his position as god and worship of him to induce characters to murder the people they love, thereby isolating them so that they love and worship him alone and uphold his empire. in htn we literally see how he isolates harrow (by ordering g1deon to kill her) and takes advantage of the faith this deeply vulnerable teenage girl has in him.

religion on the ninth is also used to justify the murder of 200 children and the extreme abuse gideon endures growing up. but i think most importantly, worship of john throughout the nine houses is used to justify the imperialist conquest and destruction of planets outside the nine houses, in a way that clearly intentionally parallels european imperialism. so, yes, harrow in htn is fundamentally religious — and because of her religion, she also functions as a tool of a violent imperialist empire.

[frnkiebby]

@fungh0uls lemme just…….~🎃

(ps @standing-in-v-formation have fun)

[official-olm-posts]

It has been a few hours short of one week since I started this blog, and it's been terrific!!! People are nice and I get to participate in all sorts of hijinks. Specifically I want to thank @maryland-officially, @walmart-counter, and @crane-detector for making me feel extremely welcome on the gimmick scene!!

[chaotic-fandom-hoarder]

The angst goblins are running rampant around in my brain, specifically rotating about that one post with the idea for a bad ending of the sitcom au where Alex gets kidnapped by the Lankmann foundation

I missed the opportunity in my fanfic there to add in that, this is an alternate version of the incident with the police hunting down Alex. Meaning that they were asleep. Meaning that they wouldn’t be wearing their glasses.

Imagine the imagery of Clyde frantically searching the ransacked house, futilely hoping that Alex is somewhere in there, safe and ok, and then Clyde sees their glasses sitting on the floor, with a cracked lens from getting launched off the nightstand during the struggle. Imagine Clyde taking the glasses with it on its roaring rampage of revenge. Imagine

[thunderheadfred]

Things are definitely migrating around inside me, and it’s….. weird. Not feeling the baby yet, (I wish!) but she’s still too small.

So no kicking and punching yet, but as the midwife described it, I am suddenly very aware that I have a uterus, and that my uterus is Up To Something. Organs are shuffling, tendons are stretching….. I swear for a few days I felt the soreness of my hip joints crabbily expanding.

Sometimes when I bend over I feel this solid mass in my gut and I’m like what the fuck is in there??? Oh yeah, an incomprehensibly tiny human-in-progress

Pregnancy’s weird

[spongynova]

Hmmm choices are hard do I go outside or do I stay in to draw some fanarts 😔

[aparticularbandit]

wait does this mean orym doesn't have to stay with nana morri

[obsessive-evie]

hailey van lith do you need a chair

[aruwithasketchbook]

Alright, here me out...

What if the White Lady is a fungus?

(also have this old artwork I never posted)

[anarchistettin]

safety is a complex psychological state - I'm not academically accredited with a lot of expertise on it but -

maybe fewer ideological attacks or fabricated accusations might help on this one, too, in addition to like Visibility? I'd hate to think it was focused solely on makeup & sass & the like

I know it's just inexpert speculation but I suspect there's supportive data somewhere?

also the number of completely trans people instantly goes way up when you erase some Standards And Practices guidelines on Who Counts versus Who's Not Doing It Right

I feel like straightup radfems have got the Baseless Accusation stuff all covered. we really can leave them to it I bet

[black-rabbit-razumikhin]

weirdest urge to write fanfiction but all the prompts are just the cases I need to study

[frnkiebby]

i need answers NOW~🎃

[doriantomybasil]

okay so i’m gay but i’ve always struggled with wether or not i was attracted to men as well and you know i think i figured it out, i think im only attracted to men who look like women which is i mean yeah it fits OR men who look like jesus which is on religious trauma??? idk do with this information as you will

[tom-failure]

'Have you ever kissed a guy before me?'

'Yeah. I have.'

'What?! No way! You gotta tell me!'

'Eh, you're not gonna like it. It's a love story.'

'I want to know that about you. I want to know your love stories, too.'

'I can tell you, but it's just gonna make you sad.'

'Try me.'

'Okay, well… it was back when I'd just run away. I was fourteen, but told everyone I was sixteen. Wanted to seem cooler. This guy took a shine to me immediately. I mean, he did need a boy to run his errands, but you gotta admit he kept an eye out for me when no one would. Took me under his wing, taught me to survive on the street. He was nineteen or so, I think, at fourteen you really tend to see that as a seasoned adult. But he was actually seasoned, you know? Hardened by that life. I made a mistake. I fell in love with him. Saw sun play in his hair and the speckles in his eyes. That kinda shit.

We were getting drunk in his garage one night.

He asked me if I was a virgin.

I said yes. God knows why I wanted to be so honest with him.

He laughed. Then he asked if I wanted him to fix that for me.

I asked him, what, without even kissing first? Tried to play tough. Panicked a little, too.

Naïve.

Then he kissed me. Just like that. Properly, with tongue and all. And then said, well, now you have no excuse.

And I thought, he's right. I don't.'

'So…'

'Yeah.'

…

'Was it… good? No, sorry, that's…'

'Not really. It kinda hurt. Did nothing for me. I thought it would be… different. When you love somebody, isn't it supposed to be like heaven? I tried to learn to like it. Thought it was acquired taste. Never got used to it, to be honest. But, well… sometimes he kissed me during and after. That did something for me. I was stupid. I wanted it. Thought it made me hella grown-up. Thought it was worth it to bear it a few minutes, if it was for someone I loved. Really, I was so braindead, can you believe it? I don't know how I didn't catch anything… well, anything too serious anyway. But I say that often, don't I? That I lucked out. You, don't do that. The first rule, Yoosungie, is to always use protection. Take it from me, I oughta know.

Anyways. One night I saw him with that girl… she was one of the delinquents, like us. Like a year older than him, too. She would try to squish my cheeks whenever she saw me.

He was… kissing her. You know, with the ass grabbing, and the cheek cupping, all that… "romantic" stuff. Like in movies. I'd wanted that. I would beg for that. And even if I got that, it was always 'be quiet so no one hears', always sneaking around, at the back of his garage, at some nooks and crannies where no one would know. Nah, I knew why that was, I wasn't that stupid. I knew I could never be his prince on the roaring black horse. But still… where I had to beg and sneak, she was getting what I was working like hell for, right there, on the corner, for all to see. I think he even pressed her to the wall, and she even told him to stop, but he kept at it. And in my stupid head it was like: she doesn't have to ask, and she doesn't even want it, but she gets it, and I don't? How am I worse than her?

I waited for him by his garage. Don't think he was surprised to see me. I always followed him, like a duckling. He let me in. Thought he knew why I was there. And I made another mistake. I asked him, what was that all about? With that girl? I thought you weren't really into all that kissing business?

That's what he told me, you see. That it wasn't really his bag. That it's just girls that like it.

I'd never seen him that scary. I was still growing back then, about your height, I think. Maybe a little taller. He took that step at me, and I was looking him right here, he had a tattoo there, said something like 'Freedom without bounds'. I was a tough kid. Even if romantic. Looked up at him. Into his fuckin eyes.

He said, who do you think you are.

I said, I'm the guy you do right here twice a week give or take. Said, do that mean nothing to you. I thought we had something going on.

He laughed. Ugly.

Said, oh, is that what you thought, kiddo. Well, all that's going on is that so-and-so is my girlfriend. And you better get me some of that fancy new beer from the corner store first thing tomorrow. For me and my queen. I don't want to show up on my date all dishevelled.

Guess that was my first heartbreak. You know. So many firsts with him.

I was getting real mad. I said, well, what if I went and ran my mouth real loud about what you do when no one's looking?

And he laughed even louder, leaned in right here in my face, got spit all over me. Said, and what do you think they'll do? When a fresh piece of ass goes to them and tells them it's all nice and loose for them? Then got all serious and told me, get lost. If I see you again, will beat your nose in. Your mama and dada will have nothing to identify.

Kicked me in the stomach, picked me by the scruff, like a shitty cat, and threw me out.

That night… I found one of those back corners where he used to do me. I felt an awful lot like crying, but that just made me madder. I wanted to be a man, you know. To be strong. I just balled my fists and hit the wall. Time and time again. It got bloody real fast. Hurt. But I had to get it out of my system.

He never helped me again. But he'd already done all he could for me back then. Taught me to survive, the hard way. I stuck with other guys. Drifted from ones to others, then got accepted, got better at what they do.

And then kind of decided that was not the life. When I got someone caring for me.

And here I am.

…what?'

'That wasn't a love story.'

'I told you you wouldn't like it… aw shit, look at you, now I made you cry. Shit.'

'I don't get why you are so calm about it. You're supposed to be mad, why are you telling me this like it's okay? Like it's something that just… happens?'

'Because it does just happen, Yoosungie.'

'You… you were fourteen! You wanted to be kissed! Loved! And he… He…! For kisses… just for damn kisses…'

'Don't say it like that. Please. I was just stupid, I wanted it. I know it was fucked up. But it was all my fault. Please.'

'No it wasn't!'

'Yoosung…'

'It wasn't "your fault", you were fourteen, Zen, for god's sake! And you just talk about it like this, and call it a 'love story'?! The way he used you like a, a, a… a thing?! Like it's okay?!'

'It is okay. And if it's not… aw shit, no-no-no, I don't need that right now.

Shit. I knew it would end like this. C'me here.'

'Don't touch me. Stop making this all about me. It's about you! Why aren't you mad?! He used you, he just used your body without a care for what you wanted or liked, you know what that's called? Why the hell aren't you mad?!'

'No. He didn't. Stop. Stop. Stop. Shut up. Shut up.'

'Why aren't you mad?! You're supposed to be mad!'

'I don't need this right now.

I don't need this right now. I don't need this right now. I don't need this right now. I don't need. I don't need. Don't need…'

…

'Don't do that… please… I'm sorry. I made it all about me, I said all the wrong things… forgive me…'

'…'

'I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So sorry. So sorry…'

'It's okay. I think… I wanted to tell you.'

'I did everything wrong… I wanted you to be able to be fully yourself with me… I wanted you to trust me. And look at how I reacted…'

'Well, and I didn't really hold my tongue either, did I? Maybe I was hoping you'd be that way. Maybe I needed someone to tell me just how fucked up it was.

You know… this isn't really the worst thing that's happened to me. But about that other stuff… I'm not sure I'll even be able to talk. Not yet.'

'You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'

'I… I want to. I just can't. Yet.

I… want you to know all those things about me. I think you'll understand. Maybe you're the only one who can understand, really. Maybe you understand better than I do.'

'Zen…'

'…'

'I… I'll try to earn your trust. If you let me… I'll ask how bad it is beforehand… I'll be prepared…'

'No need. You know… I like you for the way you are. With all these opinions of yours. I told you. That way you see things, your outlook. I think… I need it. I need you the way you are. I need you to look at me and tell me what you think. Honestly, like you can.'

'I'll try. I promise.'

…

'I love you.'

[glitch-e-stardust]

under tags for big old in stars and time spoilers. arc... 3 i think? maybe 4. ANYWAY

why is this the funniest thing i have ever seen/read in my life?! oh stars..