#BASED ON A POST

[wheneverfeasible]

I feel like Steve could be oblivious at first, catch on but still pretend to be oblivious to see how long it takes Edie to cut to the chase. Steve and Robin have a bet going on how long before Eddie asks Steve to court.

The post in question.

He hadn’t noticed at first, what Eddie had meant. He wasn’t stupid, or an idiot, no matter how much others might say he was. He just…didn’t get everything everyone said all the time, especially when they weren’t being straight forward. And let’s face it, some of Eddie’s puns were truly horrendous.

It was funny though, and honestly kind of endearing, not that he’d ever tell Robin that lest he never live it down. She was brutal about things like that, and she already made fun of himself for falling for Eddie Munson of all people.

“I thought you had standards, dingus,” she’d huffed after he’d broken down and confessed his growing feelings for their friend, absolutely certain that his feelings would never be returned and wanting to do nothing to risk that friendship.

How was he to know that Eddie’s lingering touches and trailing gaze meant the guy wanted to bone him? He wasn’t used to others making the first move. He might be omega, but he still was the one that had to seek out the others he had wanted to date. He wasn’t used to someone else taking the initiative.

Hell, he’d thought Eddie had been making fun of his moles the first few times he complimented them, like when he started talking about how he wished he were those same moles so that he could stay close to Steve’s beautiful neck. Steve could smack his own head for not understanding soon, but he did now.

Oh, he definitely did. And he was delirious with joy about it.

At first, when Steve first realized Eddie was interested in him, it had kind of bummed him out actually. He had thought Eddie actively enjoyed spending time with him, but then he’d began second guessing that. Began wondering if Eddie only put up with him because he wanted to hit it.

The thought that Eddie could ever like him the way he liked Eddie hadn’t even crossed his mind at first. At least not until he began noticing more and more of Eddie’s pickup lines were involving his neck. Until they exclusively consisted of his neck.

“Your beautiful neck must be tired, because it was running around in my dreams all night,” Eddie all but purred as he leaned on the counter at Family Video, looking up at Steve through his lashes with a grin that sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. Not that he let any indication of that show in his expression.

“That must have been terrifying,” he said, sounding innocently confused. “Just my neck? What, did it have like little legs or something?” He shuddered. “Creepy, dude.”

He had to pinch himself beneath the counter so that he didn’t smile at the disappointed look on Eddie’s face. Robin dropped a stack of movies to cover her snort, not that it did it well. Eddie obviously didn’t suspect anything at least.

“Right,” Eddie said after a moment, and flashing Steve another quick but rueful grin, pushed off the counter to walk backwards towards the door. “Guess I’ll see you neck time, Stevie,” he said with a wink before slipping out the door with a soft jingle of the bells.

It was only when Eddie’s van was no longer visible through the glass panes of the windows at the front of the store that Steve let the absolutely besotted smile spread across his face. He dropped down on the counter where Eddie had just been leaning, feeling the afterimage of his body heat still radiating from the surface.

“You really picked a doofus there, dingus,” Robin dryly remarked as she began sorting through the stack of tapes, popping open the plastic cases to make certain they had all be rewound and removing the ones that hadn’t.

“I know,” Steve dreamily sighed.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t already asked you yet what with how obvious you are. I can smell your desperation from here.”

“You’re a beta!” Steve said, tone scandalized, as he jumped up from where he was collapsed against the counter to turn and point at Robin.

“Yeah, that’s how badly you stink,” she snorted. “Just remember, no cheating or I win,” she added with a smirk.

Steve rolled his eyes, turning his back to her with a huff to return to his own duties. He couldn’t help but smile a little again, because Eddie Munson wanted to court him. And, judging by how much Eddie talked about his neck, he wanted the official mating at the end as well.

He sighed dreamily once more, not even bothering to do more than lazily flip Robin off when she threw a bag of sunflower seeds at his head.

And that was how things went. Eddie would tell Steve terrible pickup lines involving his neck, Steve would play at being oblivious, and secretly he and Robin would bet on how long it would take for Eddie to just give up and ask him straight out. You know. Like a normal person.

Not that Eddie Munson could ever be accused of being normal. Which was one of the things Steve loved most about the man. He just wished Eddie would hurry up and get the picture.

Until then, he would have to put up with these godawful pickup lines and puns and continue pretending like he didn’t know what the ridiculous alpha meant.

“Did you get a driving ticket from a vampire, because your neck has fine written all over it.”

“You know sometimes I still get nightmares about being turned into a vampire by the demobats. Being a vampire wasn’t the nightmare part though. It was the fact that I couldn’t have garlic bread ever again.”

“…”

“You’d have to die first to become a vampire, dingus. Munson’s the only one that died here.”

“Only temporarily!”

“Yeah! I gave him CPR.”

“What I wouldn’t give to remember the resuscitation process there, Stevie.”

“What I wouldn’t give to forget it.”

“Robin! Eddie could have become a vampire! He’d never be able to have garlic bread again!”

“…” A defeated sigh.

And then a week later.

“Is your neck a map? Because I think I just found some treasure.”

“One time Robin wanted to use a marker to see if she could draw a pattern with my moles. But she accidentally used a sharpie. Do you know how hard it is to wash sharpie off your own back?”

“…” Then: “I could help you out in the shower next time, Stevie.”

“Oh it’s fine, that was months ago so it’s all gone now.”

Steve thought Eddie might bash his head against the table then, but he merely muttered something under his breath with a shake of his head and continued eating his meal. Too bad Eddie wouldn’t just come out and say it was a date, because Steve would really love to kiss him.

But the pickup lines just kept coming. Never ending. Robin cackled each time she witnessed one, though obviously after Eddie left after Steve’s continued oblivious act, but Steve was getting impatient. He really wished Eddie would just hurry up and ask him.

“If I said you had a beautiful neck, would you hold it against me?”

“Aw, thanks, man. I love getting compliments from friends. If only I could find an alpha like you.”

And okay, maybe Steve was *slightly* cheating with that one. But Robin wasn’t around and Eddie, lord help him, just gave him a look that totally said that he was silently screaming. But he still…

Didn’t.

Ask.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He really, really couldn’t.

At all.

“Are we in a museum, because your neck is a work of ar—”

“If I was a guitar, would you grab me by the neck while fingering me from behind to see what noises I can make?”

Steve didn’t react at all when coffee sprayed from Robin’s mouth, simply staring Eddie straight in the eyes as the other man choked on his words, Eddie’s eyes wide and face turning rapidly pink.

When Eddie still made no response besides staring at him while Robin let out a slew of curses as she tried to clean herself up, Steve just raised an imperious brow.

“Well?”

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath, snapping out of his frozen state to begin nodding his head rapidly like a puppet with loose strings. “Uh. Yup. Uh huh. Yes. Yup.”

Steve smirked, leaning in towards Eddie and lightly arching his neck to the side. “I’ve been told my neck smells like candy. Why don’t you taste it and find out.”

As Eddie spluttered, Steve reached into his pocket for his wallet, pulling out the crisp $20 bill there and sliding it over to Robin without bothering to look her way. They could always make another bet later.

Like how long until Eddie asked to put his pups in him.

Judging by the slowly growing, manic smile on his face as he seemed to finally catch on to the situation, Steve figured it wouldn’t be long.

Which was just fine by him.

Maybe he’d ask Eddie first again.

Or maybe they’d do it together neck-and-neck.

~

Thank you, @foulwitchknight, for that fantastic initial post. I just couldn’t help but do a little something with it after you answered my musings. 😉

Hostage Hotties:

@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @honeii-puff @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-wierdlife

@everywherenothere

[transingthoseformers]

Do you want to know my nonromantic Hanahaki disease idea?

It's played for laughs but Soundwave suppressing his feelings of hatred for Orion so much that he starts coughing up flowers

He has to tell Megatronus's boyfriend (his best boyfriend so far too) he detests him, to his face, without violating his vow of silence, or he'll die

[sassycheesecake]

A/N: I saw this earlier today and Iwa-chan first popped into my mind. Have fun reading lol.

Warnings: slightly suggestive

Genre: fluff

You’re just doing the dishes on a normal Tuesday afternoon, when your phone rings.

Setting aside the plate you were just scrubbing down, you dry your hands with the kitchen towel on the counter before grabbing your vibrating phone.

You don’t recognize the number that’s calling you, so you frown in confusion before swiping your lock screen to answer it.

“Hello, this is (Y/N) speaking.“

“Good afternoon, am I speaking to the spouse of Lieutenant Iwaizumi Hajime?“

You feel your heart drop in your stomach, already fearing the worst: death, accident, arrest, murder, sudden enlistment,…

You gulp down with a heavy heart and answer back.

“Y-Yes, this is them.“

“Hello this is Captain Shimazaki speaking. I am calling to inform you that your spouse Lieutenant Iwaizumi Hajime came into work with a bruise on his neck. Actually multiple dark bruises along his neck.” He stops to cough awkwardly. “Although he looked pretty satisfied and happy this morning, please move your love marks down, so they can’t be seen when in uniform.“

You can feel your face heat up a thousand degrees, utterly embarrassed and wishing to sink 500 feet into the ground to disappear.

“U-Uhm s-sure, I will remember that for next time.“

For next time? Could you have worded that any worse?

“Appreciate it. Have a good day.“

“You as well, goodbye.“

You hang up simultaneously and put your phone down on the counter, leaning both hands on the cool graphite stone to actually process what just happened.

Too much distracted in your thoughts, you don’t even hear the front door unlock.

“Hey baby, I am home.“ Iwaizumi loudly greets you as he steps inside your shared home.

Taking his shoes off and putting them neatly by the door, he waits for your greeting back but receives nothing.

He saw your car in the driveway, so you have to be home.

“(Y/N)?“ The brunette calls out again, this time a little bit louder.

His rough voice finally snaps you out of your trance and you turn to look at him and the first thing you notice are the scattered hickeys along his neck.

Iwaizumi‘s face melts into concern, as he takes in your face. You look like you‘ve seen a ghost because your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your husband.

“Babe, what's wrong? You are as pale as a sheet of paper.“ With deep worry in his voice, he quickly approaches you and puts his warm hands around your face to grasp it gently.

“Uhm.“ You don’t know how to start this conversation.

“Well, your uh… I guess your boss called me earlier, basically saying I should tone it down a notch with uh… my marks on you.“

Iwaizumi takes a few seconds after hearing your words and all of sudden he bursts out laughing.

Slightly jumping at his sudden reaction, you are now even more confused.

“Gosh, this day keeps getting better and better. First I got to make love to my beautiful partner last night and this morning and then had a great day at work and now you’re telling me that you’re the one who should calm down with your marks on me?“ He keeps on laughing and steps closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gently pushing you against the counter.

He leans in and slightly growls in your ear.

“Good thing they can’t see all those markings I left on you last night.“

Something hard starts to press against your stomach.

“Hajime, you can’t be serious.“

You can feel him pressing rough kisses against your neck, occasionally giving you bites and licks that make you swoon and melt on the spot.

“Come on, mark me up some more. Want to show everyone how sexy and seductive my drop dead gorgeous spouse can be.“

You give in and let him carry you bridal style to your bedroom, both of you leaving marks on each other and both of you so exhausted that Iwaizumi and you call in sick for the next day.

@rukia-uchiha-98 @wake-uptoreality @nerd-of-karasuno

[doddsmountain]

Based on this post by @autiezo

Don’t worry, your request for Swan Princess Jean will arrive soon lol

[darleen8]

Consider: psychic babysitter crossover au

[catella-ars]

Uh so Optare saw a cute bow collar thing and got it for AK-47 but it’s too big (because it’s not for cats) and now Dallas is suffering (no help provided by Optare’s girlfriend, Lindsay.)

[dreadful-windandrain]

"will you match my freak" no. i'm freakier than you. this is a competition and i'm winning

[minjimunji]

bi 4 bi percabeth,,,,, 👉👈

[wheneverfeasible]

Link to original post here

-

Now, I am in no way shape or form discounting OP’s sexuality here, but I really couldn’t help reading this and thinking immediately of Steddie.

Steve is at a metal show for some reason, maybe Robin dragged him along because the chick she was interested in/seeing is a metalhead and went to the concert with her but Robin was too nervous to go alone. Maybe Dustin got tickets and couldn’t go, or took Steve with him. It doesn’t matter, Steve is there.

And he is thriving.

The music is loud but it thrums through him in a way that feels like a release, it vibrates through him and all the overstimulation he felt before is being drawn out of him. Then he gets caught in the pit and he can finally just let loose and not have to worry about anything for a moment.

Maybe he isn’t necessarily a fan of metal music as a genre but he is in a sensory way. Maybe this isn’t even his first metal show, maybe the above reasons were why he first went to a show, but now he goes on his own and actually enjoys it.

In any case, he’s there and he’s wild and he’s dehydrated and he’s pressing against other bodies and he can’t get enough.

Enter Eddie, who sees this bizarre creature absolutely thrashing while still wearing mostly pastels and he can tell the poor guy is dehydrated and going a little too hard maybe and he’s used to take care of others so he grabs him and “open your mouth” and Steve complies so easily and so prettily.

It’s just to check on him, then later to pass him a bottle of water, and then maybe, later that night when Steve wonders if maybe he’s not quite as straight as he always thought he was, Eddie grabs his jaw and tells him “open your mouth” again and Steve is all too happy to comply.

-

Hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

"this is a universal queer experience"

>ask if it's universal or white

>they don't understand

>I pull out a diagram explaining what is universal and what is white

>they laugh and say "It's a good experience sir"

>I'm a native american trans woman

>Experience is white

[lokh]

communication is key 💪

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[dapper-lil-arts]

I have bad news. Rainbow Dash has become gay due to woke. Reblog to pray

[chongoblog]