#BACKFLIP INTO THE SWEEP???

[azurescaled-archived]

Thinking about how Leon doesn't just jump over low attacks, no, he fucking backflips over them.

[mywritersmind]

HIDE YOUR NAME NOT YOUR TEAM - LN4

summary : In which a pretty red head catches Lando’s eye one night in mexico, a rude remark and laughable flirting stays on both of their minds. The last thing Lando expects is to see her again in the paddock, while he’s determined to figure her out, she’s determined to hide her name and why she constantly is spotted in orange.

listen up : panic attack, sexual comments, comedy!! lando norris x bosses!daughter.

word count : 5404

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I don’t usually go to these things. But Alexandra convinced me when she said I could borrow her dyson.

“I take it back.” I say as I get my drink, we’re sat at the bar, Charles already gone to find some drivers, “Let’s go back to the hotel! Girls night!” I beg her but she just shakes her head.

“You look too hot for that.” I sigh, I do look hot tonight. I’m in a black mini dress, sheer tights, and knee high boots that are the same shade of burgundy red as my hair.

Just as she says that, Rebecca, Carlos’ girlfriend, comes up to us, “Y/n! You never come out with us!” She hugs me and I smile. I never do but I do like hanging with my girls.

“I had to drag her here!” Alex sips her drink as Rebecca laughs. We’re in Mexico for the grand prix, something I also rarely find myself at.

“Don’t make that face! You deserve a day off.” I sigh, knowing they’re right.

“Alright.” I down the rest of my drink, coughing and turning to the bartender, “Three shots please! Surprise us!”

The girls squeal and as soon as I sit back down, I know it’s gonna be a good night.

I’m multiple drinks in, dancing with my friends, when Carlos and Charles sweep my friends away like it’s nothing.

I scoff, going to walk off the dance floor before a man stops me, “Wanna dance?” I almost laugh when I see who it is. I can tell he sees me thinking about it, “I promise I don’t bite.”

⋆༺

LANDO NORRIS

I noticed her when she was dancing with some guy who was out of his mind wasted. I saw her hair first, a dark cherry red with messy waves.

I don’t know if she’s here with friends but I do know that I want to know more.

She’s staring at me like i’ve just asked her to do a backflip, “Uh… no.” She shakes her head and walks straight past me.

What the fuck?

I haven’t had a girl reject me in a long time, but it’s not unheard of. Still, something about her is telling me to not give up.

“Wait! I’ll buy you a drink!” I hurry after her, she’s flipping her hair over her shoulder and eyeing me, “Please?”

“Please?” She laughs, “You can’t find any other girl besides me?” She hops up onto a bar stool and I lean against the counter, staying close.

“Maybe I don’t want to.” She narrows her eyes at me. “I’m Lando.”

“Yeah, I know.” This surprises me.

“Oh! Well then you know I'm not a creep, so you’ll let me buy you a drink?” She crosses her arms, she seems to be assessing me.

“Fine.” I get her a dirty martini and water for myself. “Thank you.”

“I’ll always be down to buy a pretty girl a drink.” I smile as she sips her drink, “I never caught your name-”

“Mhm…” She looks around the club, obviously not interested in what I have to say.

“Okay, Red.” She doesn’t even flinch at the nickname, “Why are you in Mexico?”

She hums, “Family.” she lets out a long breath.

I frown at her lack of interest, “That’s fun. I’m racing here this weekend.” She doesn’t respond, “Look, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I promise I'm not like whatever shit magazine you read.”

She looks at me after that and I immediately know I fucked up. Except instead of throwing her drink on me, she just laughs, “God, you’re an asshole.” And with that, she walks away.

⋆༺

YOU

Lando Norris hitting on me was not something I expected from that night.

But it immediately became worse once I remembered why I was in Mexico.

“Sweetheart!” My dad hugs me tight. Zak Brown is a lot of things but a shit dad isn’t one of them. He’s in all orange, contrasting my white dress. I smile as he pulls back, “I’m so happy you’re here!”

I have gone to four grand prix’s in my life. It seems a bit odd for someone who’s father is there almost every weekend, but we had a deal. I was a sort of trouble child, more in my teens when I wanted more freedom. I took some years off of school but I realized what I was wasting and got right back into college.

My dad said I couldn’t come to a grand prix until I finished school. I was annoyed at first, who wouldn’t want to spend their weekends partying with rich people and flying on private jets? But I sort of fell in love with my studies in fashion and had no time anyway.

But I recently graduated and am back in my papaya fathers reach.

“How are you doing? Excited to be back?” I nod as I walk up the paddock with him.

“Very! I’ve missed everything, especially my friends.” He smiles and I’m happy I can make him do that in public.

“I’m so proud. Oh!” I see my nightmare in neon and freeze, “Come meet one of our drivers, he’s a bit like you, I think.” My dad looks back at my frozen position and frowns.

“I forgot I have to grab food with Lily! New friend duties, right! Remember how happy you are that i’m making friends!? Bye!” I turn around and run.

I end up meeting up with Lily because as soon as I heard myself say it, I suddenly really wanted to see her. Lily isn’t new to the paddock, but I’ve only met her a couple times. We follow each other on instagram and have DM’d multiple times.

After our taco and gossip session, practice started and I know I should be watching, but I want to explore more. So instead, I walk around the Paddock alone.

I seriously missed this environment. One of my favorite memories from when I was a kid was my dad walking me around the paddock. I love the hustle and bustle of the paparazzi, fans, and drivers.

I also love the quiet in the paddock while the cars are on track. I make it back inside, finally finding a bathroom and after fixing my hair and makeup, I wander more halls.

I don’t want to admit I'm lost, but I definitely am. I’m about to call Lily and Rebecca but realize I am a strong independent woman! That and I'm a tad embarrassed.

I turn yet another corner and see the worst person for this situation. I realize he hasn’t seen me yet but when I go to turn he eyes me, “Red?” He looks genuinely shocked and I'm even more shocked that he remembers me!

I laugh awkwardly, not knowing what to say. He’s in his race suit, sweaty, and way too good looking with it unzipped. He runs his hand through his curls, has he always been this attractive?

Sorry! Dickhead. I don’t like this man. He’s an asshole.

“What the fuck?” Is all he can say.

“Hey!” I smile, “Thanks for buying me that drink the other night…” When I left him at the bar, I did not think about the whole MY FATHER IS HIS BOSS thing.

“What are you doing here?” I hide my paddock pass behind my back, “Seriously. You’re not some stalker are you?”

I roll my eyes, “No but I am lost.” I can’t ask him to point me to the Mclaren garage because then he’ll ask why so I go for the next best thing, “I’m looking for the ferrari garage!” I need to text Alex right now.

“I’m still confused- you said you were in town for family.” Fuck my life.

“Yeah! Well… Alex is like family to me! And she invited me. Alex as in-“

“Charles’ girlfriend. Yeah I know.” He moves his water bottle from one hand to the other, stepping closer. “But, why would I help you if you think I'm an asshole?”

Okay. Good point.

“Because you think I'm pretty?” I smile and I can tell he’s biting back a laugh. “And because you were being pretty cocky!”

He nods, “Fair enough. Come with me.” I didn’t expect him to give in so easily.

“Hey, why were you in here anyways?” He shrugs and keeps walking for a bit before answering.

“Needed a breather.”

I nod, walking with him in silence, he opens the door for me and the sun hits up straight on. “So… how's the whole driving thing going?”

He glances at me, “It's alright. Quali tomorrow.”

“Good luck. Although I kinda hope you don’t get first.” He raises a brow. “I’m a big Piastri fan.”

He looks genuinely hurt, “I didn’t even think you watched.”

I frown, “Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I'm here.”

“Yeah but you… nevermind.”

I stop, turning to him, “You have to tell me now!”

He grins, looking away and continuing to walk, “You just didn’t have a reaction when I hit on you.” I scoff, “I know, I know! Dickish.”

I can’t help but laugh, “Honestly… fair enough. If I looked like you with the whole famous rich thing. I’d be pulling left and right.”

He eyes me, “So you think i’m attractive.” My face drops and I look ahead, “Hey it’s okay we already know I think you’re hot!” God if my dad ever heard this…

“Just shut up.” He does.

Until he doesn’t, “You really a big Oscar fan?”

I’m happy that I got under his skin with that one, “What if I said I liked Verstappen more?”

“I’d leave your lost ass right here.” Lando says it so serious that all I can do is laugh. He looks proud after I look at him again. “Seriously though.”

“Ferrari girl through and through.” He rolls those gorgeous green eyes of his, “McLaren might be second best though. Plus that Colapinto kid…”

He rolls his eyes, “You can’t like Franco more than me.”

“What, you jealous?” He points to turn and when we do, I see the garages in view.

“Gonna give me your name yet? Or am I sticking to Red?”

I pull his same move and avoid the question, “Thanks for showing me back.”

“Is it bad I like it when you’re mean to me?” I groan and walk away, “Bye, Red!”

“Later, Norris.”

⋆༺

“He doesn’t know who you are!?” Lily and Alexandra scream at the same time, we’re sitting in my hotel room when I called an emergency girls meeting. Except Rebecca is with Carlos to celebrate a little after his pole.

I cover my face with my hands, “But why does it matter!?”

“He’s obviously is hot for you.” Alex shrugs as Lily laughs, rolling onto her back.

“Babe, No wonder he’s so interested in you! I mean- besides the fact that you’re hilarious and drop dead gorgeous- he definitely is intrigued.”

I shake my head, “More like plotting to get me back for calling him an asshole.”

“Wait! You called him an asshole!?” Lily laughs even harder, “I love you!”

“Genuine question though… why don’t you go for it?” I stare at Alex as if she has two heads.

“Go for it!? Lando Norris?” She nods, “No way! Besides the fact that my dad is his boss, he’s way too cocky, and he doesn’t even know my name, I still wouldn’t go for him.”

“That’s kinda part of the appeal.” Alex shrugs, “What!? He knows nothing about you but thinks your hot! Seems like enough to me.”

We end up crying laughing, the conversation straying from Lando and to all the on track drama.

⋆༺

I’ve been avoiding the McLaren garage like the plague. I was there this morning but stayed on Oscar’s side. After meeting him, falling in love with him (platonically of course), and seeing that Lando was completely locked into Qualifying, I took my first breath of calmness.

The boys went out and I popped over to talk to Pato. Quali was over way quicker than I expected, After Oscar’s P17 a weird energy was in the garage and as soon as I saw Lando’s car, I was out of there.

What game am I even playing? Maybe it’s a little hot that he doesn’t know who I am… I don’t know why. Plenty of people have bugged me because of who my dad is, but Lando doesn’t need extra grand prix tickets or me to spot him money.

I find myself in a large room, it’s filled with chairs and a couch facing them. I grin immediately, how the hell is this just open?

I obviously am going to take my chance and pretend to be a talented man! The couch is not as comfortable as I expected and I almost fucking jump off of it when someone walks in.

He's breathing heavily and I recognize something’s wrong immediately. He’s pulling off the velcro of his race suit, unzipping it and pacing. “Lando.”

His head shoots up immediately, just staring at me, “Fuck Red, why are you everywhere?” His breath is labored and shaky.

I stand slowly as he slides down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning his head back. I’m confused because he seemed fine twenty minutes ago. P3 was not bad especially for where they are right now.

I start to say something but he just shakes his head, “I can’t.” He points to his throat and I realize he can’t breathe.

“I like your hair.” I say quickly, he looks so shocked when he looks up at me, “You look really good with it.” He keeps breathing heavily.

“Huh?”

“Although, you should ditch that fuck ass hat.” He tries to laugh but he’s still struggling. I slowly sit in front of him, “Seriously, who told you to wear that?”

“I- I have to.”

I roll my eyes but my hands are shaking. I’m not a stranger to a panic attack and seeing it happen to someone in front of me is a little scary, “Free will? I mean we all know you have it with the amount of times you whip out your middle finger.”

He laughs again, breathy, but his breathing seems to be getting slower.

“You definitely have free will.” he chokes out, “Saw you- today. Flirting with Lewis.” He got me there.

“Okay! Have you seen him? Who wouldn’t!?”

He shakes his head, “He’s way older.”

“Some people might find that hot.” He side eyes me, “Don’t worry I'm still into guys my own age.”

He’s smiling, nodding. We stay silent for a moment, his head resting against his knees as he catches his breath. He finally slides his legs out in front of him and I scoot next to him.

I tap my neck to ask for permission and he understands immediately, nodding. My hand slips to his neck, feeling his pulse.

“I used to have panic attacks a lot last year.” I explain as I feel his heart underneath my touch. He doesn’t say anything, just looking into my eyes. I swallow, “Your heart is going crazy.”

He doesn’t miss a beat, “Yeah I don’t think that’s because of the panic attack.”

I give him a look, “Seriously? Even in distress you’re a flirt.”

He licks his lips, “You’re good at calming people.”

“All I did was talk, not that hard.” My hand is still on his neck. “Are you okay?”

He swallows, looking away just as I drop my hand back to my side, “Mhm. Thank you.” His hand goes to mine as if it’s nothing. I’m shaking. He rests his head against the wall, closing his eyes, and squeezing my hand. “I think I owe you another drink, Red.”

⋆༺

It’s not until after more press and the conference is over, when Lando finds me again.

“Let me buy you dinner.” I raise a brow, “Come on, as a thank you.”

“You already said thank you.” I sip my water as he frowns. He’s out of his race suit and into jeans and a McLaren shirt.

“Just let me take you out.”

“Are you feeling okay?” I reach up and press the back of my hand to his forehead, “Oh no! Seems like you have a case of aiming high.” He mocks me as I cross my arms.

“Red, If you’re that high, I'll take my McLaren rocket ship and meet you.” I laugh at his words.

“A bit late on the whole rocket ship thing.” He sighs.

“We’ll have fun. Please. Why not?” He goes through five emotions in two seconds.

“You’re sinister, evil, and orange.” My eyes stray who who’s also orange and walking quickly up to us, “Shit.” I don’t mean to say it out loud.

Lando turns around quickly, then back to me, “Don’t tell me you’re scared of Zak. I’ll introduce you-”

“No! I’m not! I gotta go!”

“Wha- Red!” I walk away so fast that I don’t see the man rounding the corner.

“Y/n?” Oscar looks at me confused, “Alright?”

“Hi!” I quickly move past him but he follows.

“What’s wrong?”

“Lando is trying to introduce me to Zak Brown.” I say simply as we turn another corner and Oscar frowns.

“Zak Brown as in your dad Zak Brown?” I look at him, nodding. Then he laughs, “He doesn’t know who you are?”

“Nope. Sort of a long story but I'm in too deep now.” I cross my arms and he starts laughing harder.

“I’m completely here for this- Just one question though… how the fuck does he not know who you are? You’ve been in the garage.”

“He’s blind and I'm a mastermind?” I shrug and of course, Lando finds us.

“Red! No!” He groans when he sees Oscar, “Osc, Don’t convert her into a you fan i’m trying so hard to get her to like me!” Oscar laughs harder, covering his mouth and looking at me.

“I don’t need to be converted! I’m already an Oscar fan!” Lando frowns as I shake my head.

“Don’t worry mate, everyone’s an Oscar fan.” He pats Lando on the shoulder before leaving. “See ya…” I can tell he’s about to say my name but he stops himself.

Lando narrows his eyes at me, “He knows your name?” I bite my lip and walk away. “Hey wait! Any thoughts about tonight?”

I glance back at him, “Don’t you have a race to be preparing for?”

He smirks, catching up to me, “Wanna know my pre race ritual?” I push him away from me, “I’ll give you a hint.” He winks and my stomach does a weird flip.

“You’re never gonna stop, are you?” I place my hands on my hips, looking up at the man.

“Tell me to, and I will.” I stay quiet, his eyes meeting mine and the corner of his lip quirking up. Someone calls his name but his eyes stay on me, smiling. He leans down and taps his knuckles against his hand, “Bye, Red.”

⋆༺

Although Lando has been running around my head, I still have other duties besides being flirted with. I’m at dinner with my dad, it’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us. And I will say, I missed it.

He’s busy and obviously distracted but i’m grateful for any time I get with him. We’re in the Paddock but everybody is gone except for a few engineers and workers.

“Tell me about your weekend! I haven’t seen you much in the garage.” He takes a bite out of his salad, looking down at his texts.

“I’ve been around.” I shrug, drinking my lemonade, “It’s good to be back. But I have been sneaking off with my friends a bit…”

He smiles, “I’m glad. Even if you aren’t cheering us on.” I laugh, “You will be watching from the garage tomorrow, though.”

I nod, “Yes yes, I know.”

We get into a conversation about the issues with my apartment and how he thinks I should move back home. I get the feeling that he’s worried about tomorrow and suddenly wonder if he’s like this every weekend.

My dad gets a call which ends our dinner early, “I gotta grab my bag then I'll head to the hotel.” I kiss him on the cheek and make my way to the garage.

There’s a few people hanging back, some looking at screens and someone laying on the floor, looking at Lando’s back wing.

I grab my purse, rummaging around in it to make sure my phone is there. “You sure you’re not stalking me, Red?” That damn voice makes me jump.

He's sitting on the floor next to his own car, his arms and black shirt dirty. Was he… fixing his car?

I raise a brow, “What are you doing?” He takes the rag next to him and wipes off his hands, standing up.

“What are you doing?”

I cross my arms, “Stealing information for ferrari.” He smirks, shaking his head and walking past me to grab his water.

“Instead of having dinner with me? You need to sort your priorities out.”

I flip my hair over my shoulder, “Do you work on your own car often?”

“I can’t do much but I do like to see how it looks.” He shrugs, leaning against the wall and glancing at the people working, “You seriously not gonna tell me who you know at McLaren? You obviously have an in.”

He waves to the people who are packing up and walking out. We are now alone.

I hum, knowing there’s no chance I'm about to tell him who my ‘in’ is. He laughs a bit, “Alright, stay mysterious. Wanna sit in it?” I almost think I didn’t hear him correctly.

“What?” He nods, standing and walking over to his car, “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve already driven one or something.”

I smile, shaking my head and walking towards him, “No. I used to kart but I’m actually shit at it.” He laughs, beckoning me closer. “Won’t you get in trouble for this?”

He brings his finger to his lips, shushing me as I stand in front of him, “Okay put your foot here,” he points, “And hold onto this.” He points again and I do as I'm told.

I hate to admit it, but I am quite clumsy. When I slip a bit, his hands go to catch me instantly. Thank you driver reaction practice.

He lifts me down into the seat, his hands regretfully leaving me. I look up at him, “For once, you look tall.” His smile drops, leaning over me.

“You’re one to talk.” He scoffs and starts pointing at things. I try to listen but his hand is right in front of my face and I’m genuinely surprised how much I don’t know.

“You’re so far down.” I hum, holding my hands out as if I'm driving, “My back already hurts.” He smiles and kneels next to me.

“You look good in here. Seems like a complete hazard though, even if the car isn’t on.” I tilt my head up to look at him. A curl is falling perfectly in his face. “I didn’t wear the hat as much today, what’d you think?”

I smile at the fact that he listened to my bullshit, “How are you, by the way?”

He nods, avoiding my eyes and messing around with something on the car, “Fine.”

“So the whole panic attack thing was just for fun?” He eyes me, biting his lip.

“Thank you again, It was kinda embarrassing but you made me feel better.” I chew the inside of my cheek, smiling softly at his expression. He looks tired, but a big step up from earlier.

I’ve seen Lando a million times. He’s on posters, all over my feed, in my dads photo dumps, billboards, ads… But none of that can compare to the real thing.

He shoots up so fast that I’m about to laugh and ask what he’s doing, but he starts talking to someone. “Lando!” It’s my dad. Alarm bells ring in my ears as my hand goes over my mouth. Okay. He can’t see me, I know that at least. “I thought you’d already left!”

Lando laughs awkwardly, I think he’s standing in front of the car now. “Uh! Wanted to make sure everything’s good with the car. Guess I lost track of time.”

I hear my dad laugh, rummaging around, “Get some sleep, kid.” I think we’re in the clear until I hear sneakers squeaking, “You haven’t seen a girl come in here, have you?”

My heart rate skyrockets as Lando clears his throat, “Nope. But I've been pretty distracted with the car.”

“Alright well… I have someone to introduce you to tomorrow! Get some rest and drink water!” The door shuts and I hear Lando sigh heavily.

I stand up and messily get out of the car, “I thought for sure I was dead!” Lando says, running a hand through his hair and shivering, “Sorry about that.”

“No worries! I don’t want to get you in trouble though so I should go…” He nods, looking a bit disappointed.

“Want me to walk you out?” I can’t help but smile softly at the soft way he says it.

“I know my way, Thanks though.” I grab my bag, thanking god my dad didn’t see it before, “Rest up.” I mock my dad as Lando chuckles.

“With you on my mind, that’ll be difficult.” I pretend like my cheeks aren’t on fire and open the door.

“Dream about me, then.”

⋆༺

The party environment of the Mexican Grand Prix is all I needed today. I’m in a white dress with marigolds embroidered at the bottom, a flower in my hand from one of the people who are painted.

I laugh with Rebecca and Alex as we walk through the paddock, their boyfriends already getting ready for the drivers parade.

I haven’t told them about last night. I mean, what is there to tell? I swipe my lipgloss on, checking my makeup in the reflection of Rebecca’s glasses.

“Is Carlos nervous for today?” I ask her as she smiles at his name.

“I think so, but I’m really hopeful for a good result.” we continue walking, “Hopefully I don’t jinx it.”

“Hey, Y/n.” Alex nudges me, “Someone just arrived.” She winks as we all turn to look at the Paddock entrance behind us.

Lando Norris.

He’s wearing a Quadrant crewneck and a big smile. He signs something for a tiny fan and hurry’s past the photographers.

He almost walks past us, but he does a double take. He looks happy, I’m glad. “Rebecca, Alex.” He doesn’t stop walking as he politely greets them. His eyes meet mine and his expression changes, “Hey, Red.”

I smile softly before he turns and practically runs away, “Yup! He’s in love.”

I swat Rebecca’s arm as she laughs, “Goodbye!”

“No!” Alex laughs, “Come get coffee!”

I shake my head, “I told Pato I would grab breakfast with him, I’ll see you later!”

I smile at the two of them as they wave and we split up, me going to McLaren and them to Ferrari.

⋆༺

Breakfast is good, we watch the drivers go around and laugh at George who is shivering like a leaf. I say goodbye to him as soon as the drivers parade ends.

I need to see my dad before the craziness begins. “Dad!” I smile as he sits on the pit wall.

“Sweetie!” He smiles and waves me over, letting me sit with him.

“Ready for today?” I ask as he looks over data.

He nods, “Definitely!” He crosses his fingers and I smile, looking over the data with him. He knows I have no clue what we’re looking at so he explains it to me.

I lean in to look at the tiny words when my dad gets distracted, “Oh!” I hear him say but i’m trying to decipher this code still, “I have someone for you to meet!” I’ve met a million different people this week so I smile and stick out my hand like usual, “Lando! This is my daughter Y/n.”

I stare at him. His smile drops for a second, then a look of panic washes over him before he takes a breath and shakes my hand.

“Nice to meet you.” I almost whisper it. He’s looking at me and I feel like I'm about to get swallowed whole.

His face contorts again, he looks like he’s finally cracked me, “Pleasure” My dad looks away and Lando takes that second to narrow his eyes, a smirk still on his face.

I drop his hand as my dad looks at us again, “I think Y/n has been avoiding the garage! I would have introduced you days ago!”

Lando’s jaw ticks, “Not a McLaren girl?”

I can’t help but smile, “Ferrari through and through.”

My dad shakes his head, “Don’t mind her odd preferences…” he’s about to say something else but gets pulled away by someone in orange.

Lando just looks at me, my cheeks hot as he examines me. I expect him to be mad, but he just smiles, “Y/n, huh?” I nod shyly, “It’s pretty. It fits you.”

“Okay! Lan you gotta go!” My dad claps a hand on his shoulder, dragging him away.

“Good luck!” I say quickly as he shoots me a devious look. I take a breath I didn’t know I was holding in, and watch him leave.

⋆༺

The race has me on the edge of my seat for all 71 laps. I accidentally gasp way too loud at Lando being pushed off track and maybe start clapping when it’s announced that Max got two penalties.

The whole time I have a feeling that Lando will be on that podium, but definitely not in third.

My manifestation comes true when Charles goes off track and Lando zooms by.

Ten laps to go and I don’t think I've taken a deep breath in twenty. But the moment Lando passes the finish line, the garage claps and I sigh in relief.

I hug my dad but I watch the podium ceremony from the side, smiling as the boys get sprayed with champagne while laughing.

I see Rebecca with tears in her eyes and when I look back to the podium, I see Lando looking at me. He's grinning, holding his bottle of champagne and pouring it into his mouth before winking at me.

If he’s still acting like this after he found out my dad is his boss, then I am unexplainably screwed. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

After the podium, I walk back to the garage, but Lando catches me first, pulling me into a hidden area. He’s soaked in champagne and grinning like an idiot, “Have fun out there?” I ask, crossing my arms.

He nods, “Think i’m cool yet?”

“A bit… maybe when I watch you win.” His smile grows, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“Go out with me.” I laugh at his words, “For real this time! Y/n.” He says my name like a prayer and I never want it to stop.

“I guess I sort of owe you.”

He nods enthusiastically, “Y/n Brown. What a name… I knew you had an in!”

I shake my head, “I’m sorry. But it was fun messing with you.”

He sighs in defeat, “I feel much better that I know who you are. Although I almost passed out when the words ‘daughter’ left Zak’s mouth!” I laugh with him, champagne dripping down his curls still.

“You did really well today.”

He bites his lip, “Think of how much better I'll do knowing you’re screaming my name in the garage.” I swat his arm but he swerves and plants a kiss on my cheek.

My jaw drops as he pulls back, “I’ll pick you up tonight!” he starts walking away, backwards, “I’ll text you!”

“You don’t even have my number!” I yell after him but he just winks and blows me a kiss. Just as I turn back around and roll my eyes, I see my dad in front of me, arms crossed as my eyes go wide.

He sighs, looking like he already has a headache, “What the hell did I miss?”

[girlokwhatever]

༉‧₊˚.•·.·''·.·•⋆·˚ ༘ *-‘๑’- late night needs,,

emily engstler x fem!reader (18+)

you wake from your slumber at the feeling of your shirt being tugged. you groan, turning to see emily on her knees between your legs, covers thrown to her side of the bed. you smell her body wash floating through the air, noting she must’ve just gotten home and decided to take a quick shower.

as soon as you make eye contact she leans up to kiss you, gentle and slow. your stomach does a backflip at her intrusion, her tongue slipping past your lips. you gently bring your arms up to wrap around the back of her neck, pulling her in.

you missed her.

she holds your neck gently, propping herself up with the other. she slots her knee between your already-spread thighs, pressing into your panties. you immediately whine into her mouth at the pressure, pulling away.

“emily..”

she finds other places to occupy her lips. your chin, jaw, neck, ear, anywhere she can reach. she’s on your neck when she whispers back, “please baby, want you so bad.”

her tone makes you throb, her rasp sinking into your skin and finding its way to your clit. she feels everything, especially the way your body radiates warmth from the lower region. you nod wordlessly, attempting to wipe the sleep from your eyes.

within seconds she’s back to her previous position, pulling your legs over her shoulders as she lowers onto her stomach. she’s kissing your thighs while pulling your underwear to the side, twisting the damp fabric around her finger. she pulls you down the bed so she can reach you better, darting her tongue out to taste you.

she’s been thinking about this all day, wanting nothing more than to be in her safe spot between your thighs. the pressure as you squeeze them around her head makes her near delirious, head spinning with thoughts of only you.

emily’s tongue flattens out as she shakes her head, sweeping over every inch of your dripping cunt. she wants this so bad, plunging two fingers into your weeping hole. your tightness sucks her in, having to use more energy to pull out than to thrust in. she’s watching your face, eyes closed shut against the pillow and mouth open.

she switches her tongue out for her fingers, pointer finger toying with your clit as her tongue prods at your wetness. you’re a whining and whimpering mess, your half-awake sensitivity heightening the sensation of your girlfriend between your legs. you take fist fulls of the comforter between your fingers as your orgasm quickly approaches.

her fingers plunge back into you, curling against your sweet spot. her tongue licks around her fingers, catching your leaking arousal. your hips stutter against her face, changing the angle of her fingers. it makes you cry out, orgasm washing over you in fervor as you cum onto her fingers.

your girlfriend pulls her fingers away, sticking them in her mouth. within the same second, without a stutter or pause, her other hand connects with your clit. her thumb rubs sloppy circles on your bud as she finishes licking her fingers clean, her spit lingering on your skin when she puts her hand on your lower stomach.

your legs are shaking when she sucks your clit into her mouth, still not done with you. you’re like nectar to her, sweet arousal smeared on her chin and mouth. she groans against you, reveling in your taste. it elicits a choked moan out of you, voice gruffy from sleep.

your body is completely relaxed under her, letting emily handle you however she sees fit. her left hand roams up your shirt, pushing it up until your bare chest peeks out. your nipples grow hard from the cold air, perky and a perfect fit in your girlfriend’s hand.

she alternates between each one, twisting your nipple and massaging your breasts. she thinks she may never get enough of you, even when she’s drowning in your cunt. she sucks on your clit, tongue rubbing in circles. she feels your back arch, your hand finding her bicep and you squeeze. hard.

“gonna cum, em. yeahyeahyeah please,” you’re whining, scratching your nails down her arm and it only adds to her pleasure to know she gets you off so easily.

“yeah? you got it baby, cum on my face.”

she places her tongue back on your sensitive clit, pressing into it and swirling it around in her mouth. her hand pinches your nipple and tugs, encouraging your orgasm to approach faster.

you whimper, a dragged out whine following soon after and you’re cumming on her face. your body twitches as your back relaxes back into the bed, legs still wrapped around emily’s head. she licks you clean, wiping you gently with a towel she grabbed earlier. she’s being delicate, placing a gentle kiss over your belly button while rubbing her hands up and down your thighs.

her hands move to your sides, gently squeezing to see if you’re still awake. you melt into her, opening your eyes halfway to meet her face, a smile on her face.

“you okay?”

“mhm,” you hum, obviously tired and worn out from the activity. pulling her into you, you place a quick peck on her lips. she accepts it eagerly, wanting nothing more than to have you in her space.

she pulls you into her chest once she settles in, wrapping your limbs together in a knot. her nose tucks itself into the space between your shoulder and neck, letting your scent relax her. she kisses you one more time as you drift off, mumbling about how much you love her.

“i love you too pretty girl,”

*.ೃ༄༉‧₊˚.⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚`*:;,．★

ive seen the overwhelming need for some emily smut SOOOOOO

here you go

i’m here to feed yall 😜🍽️ (and myself)

[rip-quizilla]

Jinx

Janitor!Eddie X Teacher!Reader

700ish words

It was your first year teaching at Hawkins Middle School, and you’d already failed to establish a respectable work-life balance. 

You were new to this career field, eager to prove yourself a capable educator. You always arrived early, always left late. Often, you wound up leaving after everyone but the administrators had already gotten home, undoubtedly to prepare dinner for their families or take care of household chores. You had no one waiting for you at home but your cats, so heading home around 5pm was the norm for you. 

Today, you sat grading papers at your desk while Van Morrison played through your headphones. You’d finally settled into a rhythm, methodically bobbing your head to the beat as you drew check marks and X’s with a pink ballpoint pen when suddenly, something in your empty classroom moved out the corner of your eye.

You let out a startled yelp, joined by a twin curse from the ponytailed custodian who’d intruded upon your quiet room. He looked just as surprised as you were, eyes wide with headphones blasting what sounded like the screech of metal guitar from around his neck where he’d quickly shoved them off his ears. 

“Shit-” he breathed, chest letting out a heaving breath, “-Sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“I didn’t see-” you began at the same time as him, apologies spilling out of you both simultaneously. 

“I shouldn’t have been-”

“My headphones were-”

“Should’ve been paying more-”

“Wasn’t paying attention, I’m-”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

You spoke as one voice, that last word filling the empty classroom. Slowly, an amused smile broke out across the custodian’s features, his idle hands stuffing themselves into the pockets of his black work pants. His eyes flicked over you at the speed of light before he broke the silence.

“Jinx.”

You chuckled quietly, pausing your music and setting your own headphones down on your desk. 

“Guess I owe you a soda.” you retorted, your smiling voice made small by the overpowering after-hours quiet.

He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “I never say no to a soda.” Then he got to work, grabbing the small plastic garbage bin from where it sat by your door and pulling the thin plastic lining from it. 

You returned to your grading, but left the headphones off your ears out of respect for the presence in your room. You didn’t want to appear rude, after all. 

The custodian did the same, leaving his headphones around his neck as he performed various routine tasks around the room. Even from the opposite corner of the space, you could hear his music singing out at top volume from where it rested across his decolletage. Harsh screams and rage tore through the soft-looking spongey speakers, and you were struck by how much they were contrasted by the pleasant air that followed this man who was currently sweeping up crumpled notebook fringe from beneath a wooden desk. 

You peered a little closer at his gray uniform shirt where a little embroidered patch sat stitched to his breast pocket. Eddie, it read. You committed the name to memory.

The two of you continued your work wordlessly until he finished, and just before he exited the room he shot you a friendly smile accompanied by a nod of his head.

“Have a good night.”

Those eyes were breathtaking; they were unwavering in their contact with yours. You nodded and grinned, trying not to sound quite as charmed as you felt. 

“You too.” you said. 

The next day, you’d needed to leave as soon as the final bell rang. Eddie had been slightly disappointed to find your door closed with the light off when he’d gotten to your classroom, but when he’d unlocked the door and flicked on the light to reveal a sweating glass bottle of Coca-Cola on the desk closest to the door, he could’ve sworn his heart did a backflip. 

A pink post-it note sat stuck to the surface of the desk next to the bottle.

Eddie, soda’s all yours.

P.S.-per the rules of jinx, I can’t talk until you say my name.

You’d signed your name at the bottom, and Eddie admired the way the ink from your pen bled into a little starburst where the condensation had pooled into a drop at the base of the bottle and dripped to your note below. He peeled the note off, folding it carefully into a small square and sticking it in his pocket. He opened the bottle, lifted it to his lips and drank. It tasted sweet and bright, bubbly and full of unexpected possibilities. 

[mobbu-min]

☆ grandma's best friend ☆

summary: in which you’re tasked with picking up your grandma after her knitting club and can’t help but fall in love with the handsome man sat right beside her.

a/n had this in the wip hell for forever. i was going to add azul but.... i have the hardest time writing him, so maybe he'll appear in another piece. also this takes place after they have graduated from nrc!

characters trey clover, deuce spade, jack howl, silver & lilia vanrouge

tw cursing

 Despite living in the same house with your grandma since the day you were born, there were still plenty of things you didn’t know about her. And truthfully you weren't one to pry into her, what you considered, pretty mundane life. Early morning walks, baking a mountain of cookies and breads and watching soap operas weren’t really your things. 

 So not once, never in your life, did you expect that you’d be stopped dead in your tracks the moment you entered through the glass doors of your grandma’s friend's sunroom. It was supposed to be a knitting class for older women, right?

 Well, apparently your grandma decided to be super mean and not tell you about the absolute hunk that came every week. 

 You watched from the entry as he laughed along with your grandma. It was like you could hear church bells in the distance. You instantly could tell with the way your grandma and the other ladies flocked to him and talked so sweetly to him that they were absolutely smitten with him. 

 As if sensing your rising temperature, your grandma turned her head around and waved you over. “What are you doing all the way over there? Come here, sweetie.”

 You suddenly felt so shy and quickly averted your gaze. Your stomach doing backflips the closer you got. Why did you feel like you were going to explode?

 As your grandma introduced you, you peaked up at him only to freeze in place the moment your gaze caught his. And the moment his lips stretched into the prettiest, most dazzling smile you’ve ever seen, you knew you were down bad. 

 Like really bad.

Trey Clover <3

⋆ Trey Clover, the baker’s son. Everyone knew him as a kind and gentle soul. You’ve known him since you were young, going to the same elementary school as him and his feline friend, however that all you were. Simply classmates and your desire to know him outside of that was zero to none.

⋆ So safe to say, you haven’t seen him since he was a preteen and suddenly the image of a lanky, nerdy looking boy with a shy smile dispersed when you saw him.

⋆ Tall, strong and handsome, not to mention a fine looking ass. He’s definitely changed since you last saw him. And suddenly, all the older women talking about trying to hook up their daughters with the baker’s son suddenly made a lot more sense. He was the definition of husband material.

⋆ And you were determined to make him yours.

☆☆☆

“Hopefully you remember my granddaughter, I know she can blend into the crowds easily.” You grandma laughed joyfully and despite her fraile statue, the heaviness of her hands persisted causing you to stumble forwards.

Chuckling awkwardly, you smiled crookedly at Trey who smiled easily at your grandma’s antics, seemingly used to it. Placing a large, yet comforting, hand on your shoulder he steady you, “Don’t worry, Mrs. (l/n), I have a pretty strong memory.”

“Hmpf, and hopefully you keep it then, lest you end up like your grandmother over there.” Your grandma jabbed playfully at the chubby woman who glared softly in her direction.

And yet despite your best attempt to listen to the both of them bicker back and forth, the warmth sweeping through your thin sweater was enough to keep your attention on the young man. Catching your gaze, Trey’s honey eyes twinkled with curiosity, “Hey, (y/n), it’s been awhile.”

Like water hitting oil, your heart exploded into thousands of little sparks the second your name rolled off his tongue. How can one person sound so sweet? Like sugar and sprinkles and everything sweet? It was not far!

“Hehe, yeahhh.” You drawled out, your cheeks ablaze and hot to the touch. Doing your best to reign in your heart eyes, you coughed into your fist and smiled sweetly at him, “H-how have you been? Last I checked you were in dentistry school, right?”

Scratching his nape, Trey hummed, “I was, but after my dad hurt his back I came back to help with the bakery. It didn’t feel right to leave my mom to take care of the bakery, my dad and siblings all by herself.”

Ah, a family man, how nice, you cooed internally. Now, you haven’t thought of settling down anytime soon, but for him? Your ass is sat.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Trey. That sounds horrible.” You said with full sincerity, your heart aching for him. “Have you thought about going back though?”

“I’ve thought about it, but…” His gaze roamed around the room filled with elderly ladies laughing and joking around, to them greeting their partners with warm welcomes and honey eyes, until settling back to you. Mirth swam through his pretty eyes, “I kinda like it here.”

Your heart, the romantic thing it was, was set zooming into the sky and exploding into fireworks. While you knew it was merely coincidence that you just happened to be here and asked that particular question, it was all you needed to decide that whatever future Trey wanted was one you were going to be a part of.

The world can call you whatever, a romantic, a simp, you didn’t care.

Tilting your head, you smiled sweetly at him, “Yeah, I do too.”

This was going to be your happily ever after.

Deuce Spade <3

⋆ It took you a second to recognize the boy that struggled to untangle the yarn on his lap, but the moment his wide blue eyes scanned the room to see how far behind he was, you knew.

⋆ Deuce Spade, the former bad boy turned honorary magical student.

⋆ You wouldn’t say that you didn't like him, more like you don’t know him. Your paths never really crossed, with him always skipping school and all. Though you did always have a soft spot for him, afterall he would consistently turn a blind eye every time you snuck out of p.e.

⋆ And you couldn’t deny the tiny crush you had on him either. Something about his bad boy behavior that made your young nerdy heart swoon.

⋆ So who could blame you for blushing the moment he laid eyes on you.

☆☆☆

 Pretty, was the first thought that crossed your mind. Also, that he looked a lot like his mom, who you’ve tried to get with multiple times before hand. Sadly your homemade lunches and pathetic attempts at flirting did nothing to convince her to give you a chance. However it did convince her not to bill you every time she had to fix up your old beaten up car. 

 He looked a lot older too. His big bright blue eyes, a little narrower yet still glowing like the sun shining down on the sea. His soft cheeks were gone, a lot more slender and mature, yet he still maintained that youthful pink hue to the apple of his cheeks. And if you looked closely enough you could see the black ink of tattoos peeking out of his cerulean sweater. 

 You could feel your cheeks blossom into the all too familiar hue of the cherry blossoms that grew outside the windows. You hoped your makeup would mask the heat radiating off your cheeks. Clutching onto the straps of your bag, you shuffled towards your grandma, who stared at you with knowing eyes. Curses, I should have never left my diary where she could see it. 

 Just as you opened your mouth to greet your grandma, your breath hitched. It was like you were staring into the ocean, the glimmers in his eyes like clear waters. You were in awe at how a simple look from a guy you haven’t seen in ages could leave you so breathless. 

 A sharp jab to your ribs quickly ripped you out of whatever shoujo-esque moment you were having. Crumbling over, you gingerly held your side and wheezed. Your grandma, the blunt old lady she is, paid your suffering no mind and was quick to chastise you. “Goodness (y/n), have I not taught you nothing? It’s rude to stare.”

 Like a knight you’ve read about in plenty of romance novels back in your preteens and teens (even now honestly), he came to your rescue. 

 “It’s alright, I don’t mind Mrs. (l/n).” You could hear your grandma huff and turn away, probably to gossip with the other ladies. Despite her old age, her strength has yet to fail her and her elbows were, unfortunately, sharp. Yet, all that pain disappeared with a gentle touch to your shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

 Raising your head, your eyes widened at the closeness between you both. You were sure at this point your makeup did nothing to help the ever darkening color of your face. If anything it was probably being wiped off with how much you were sweating. 

 Laughing nervously, you shook your head and smiled, “Y-yeah, I’m good. It’s nothing I’m not used to.”

 Amusement danced in his eyes. Rubbing at his own side, he nodded along, “Tell me about it, she sure packs a punch.” Familiarity sparkled across his features, “(y/n), right? You were a grade above me?”

 “Yup, it’s been awhile, Deuce.” Sitting in your grandma’s spot, you took one of the sweet strawberry jam cookies and popped it in your mouth.”What have you been up to lately?”

 Sitting down, Deuce hummed, “You know, uni and stuff. Studying isn’t really my forte, but I’m trying hard.”

 “Making your mom proud?” You teased softly. With how often you were over at her house, you heard plenty of stories of his recent endeavors. Not to mention, you could never get over how fondly she spoke of her only son. The type of love and proudness that was totally unique to her. 

 Sighing, Deuce ran a hand through his hair, “I sure hope so…”

 Punching his shoulders, you scoffed, “Oh, c’mon Deuce, give yourself more credit. You're practically the light of her life. No matter what happens, she’ll always be proud of you.”

 Warmth flooded his gaze at your words. Despite knowing that, it was always nice to hear it said out loud. Playing with the loose threads of his sweater, he easily turned the conversation around, “Uh, but what about you? My mom says you're at the house every week to get your car fixed.”

 “Oh, yeah…haha…” You laughed bashfully, praying to the Sevens that she didn’t mention your flirting. Placing a finger on your chin, you stared up at the ceiling, “I’ve been good. I work at the local tattoo shop as a receptionist. I’m hoping that Mr. Stevens will finally accept my portfolio, but from the looks of things…I think I’m better off trying to get an apprenticeship in the city.”

 Nodding along, Deuce grinned, “I remember you always doodling on everything. I’m surprised you didn’t try…um…professional painting? Is that a thing? Like galleries and stuff?”

 “I wanted to, but it was too expensive. Tattooing though? Pretty accessible money wise, it’s just a pain in the ass to get someone to take you under their wing.” You sighed tiredly. Shrugging your shoulders, you turned your gaze to Deuce and grinned, “I guess we’ve both been busy trying to make something of ourselves huh?”

 “Yeah, I guess we are.”

 Hearing your grandma call out your name, you knew your conversation had to come to its end. Rising up, you fixed your bag and offered Deuce a soft smile. 

 “It was nice talking to you again. I’m kinda sad it was cut short.”

 Scratching his cheek, he averted his eyes, “Well…it doesn't have too.”

 Tilting your head, you looked at him in confusion. Something warm and electric blooming in your chest. 

 Reaching into his pocket, he took out his phone and offered it to you. Smiling nervously, he stuttered, “L-let’s exchange numbers and if you aren’t too busy, let’s get some drinks sometime this week.”

 It was like thousands of angels came down from heaven at his proposal. This was everything your little preteen heart had ever wanted, and who were you to deny her?

 “That sounds like fun!”

Jack Howl <3

(reader is a wolf beastmen too!)

⋆ Muscles….

⋆ So many muscles…

⋆ You could feel your knees quiver and threaten to crumble under your weight. You’ve seen plenty of muscular people in your life, but never one with such a gentle touch as him. The way he held the croquet needle was as if he was afraid he’d break it with his full force.

⋆ To the gentle sway of his fluffy snow white tail told you everything you needed to know about him.

☆☆☆

You considered taping your own tail against your leg with how fast it wagged behind you. Don’t be fooled, you loved who you were, but you didn’t love how easy it was for others to decipher your emotions through the simple beat of your tail. And it appears that, no matter how hard you try to feign a cool and mysterious persona, everyone could see how much of a dork you were by simply looking behind you.

Your grandma stifled her own chuckles behind a wrinkled hand, “Jack, this is my granddaughter, (y/n). I hope you can both get along.”

Both of your ears perked up the moment your eyes caught his, golden like the sun surrounded by fluffy white clouds. Again, your grandma giggled and busied herself with other matters. Deciding to let fate take charge.

Nodding your head, you smiled shyly, “It’s nice to meet you, Jack. It’s not often I meet other wolf beastmen here.”

You liked to think that's why you were so excited, and certainly not because he was practically your dream guy. Oh Sevens, it felt like you were in a dream. You wished you wouldn’t wake up.

Jack nodded, his expression stoic, but much like yourself, his curiosity was clearly shown by the twitch of his ear and wag of his fluffy tail. You instantly realized he wasn’t much for talking. Typically with anyone else, you’d find it awkward, but with Jack, you found yourself at ease.

Leaning against the window frame, you gestured to his green and brick brown coasters, “I like your coasters, they're so pretty. Are they for anyone in particular?”

Shaking his head, he moved besides you, “No, it’s actually for me. I thought it would look nice underneath my cactuses.”

His voice was deep, but not too deep that made you shudder, deep and smooth like you were floating through a river. A steady beat unlike your heart. From your spot you could smell his cologne, a light sandalwood fragrance that mixed well with his natural woodsy scent.

Humming softly, you pulled your tail to your lap to prevent it from hitting him and gently ran your fingers through the soft fur, “Cactuses, huh? You must take very good care of them.”

“I do. They seem easy to care for, but they need a strict schedule to make sure they grow strong.” Jack said proudly. A smirk that sent your heart into cardiac arrest present on his clear brown skin. And then as if he suddenly remembered something, he looked down almost bashfully, “And well, some are also for my family.”

Ugh, he just keeps on getting more and more perfect! You internally squealed. Calming yourself, you asked, “That’s nice of you. Handmade things from the heart is always the best. Is that why you’re taking these classes? I typically don’t see guys like you willingly hanging out in a place like this.”

Leaning his head back, Jack thought, “I thought this would broaden my horizons. Knitting and crocheting requires patience and discipline. So in turn that would help me out when I work out.”

“Training the mind, while training the body!”

“Mh-hm.” Glancing down at you, he grinned, “I’m glad you understand. The guys in my work out group were jerks about it.”

Grinning, you gently nudged him with your elbow, “They sound like a bunch of airheads then.”

Jack chuckled under his breath. They type of laugh that would have every head turning. The type of laugh that you would hear rarely, like a special treat. The type of laugh you knew you wanted for yourself.

Right then and there, you decided you were going to do your hardest to make him yours.

Silver <3

⋆ Beautiful, stunning, angelic, you could go on.

⋆ The boy in front of you was straight out of a romance novel. The knight perhaps, judging by his build. But his face totally screams prince.

⋆ You could feel your heart racing in your chest that it was almost painful.

⋆ And dear sevens, he just smiled.

⋆ Yeah, you were screwed.

☆☆☆

“I am so sorry!” You apologized profusely, hastily taking out napkins from your bag to dap onto his soft pastel blue sweater. Searing heat painted your face. Pure embarrassment piercing your chest.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” He said softly, gently prying your shaking hands away. “Things like this happen, no need to get so worked up about it.”

If this was any other instance where you weren’t fighting your demons, you would be swooning and thinking to yourself that your dreams of becoming the main character of a shoujo anime finally came true. But no, the world hates you. So you were having a difficult time not feeling bad, especially when his sweaters looked so…

Expensive… you sighed internally, trying your best not to eye the large weird shaped blob staining his chest. “Still, I am incredibly sorry. Maybe I can pay for dry cleaning?”

A smile, soft and so, so, so pretty, formed on his face. A gentle shake of head caused his silky silver hair to fall delicately across his clear glasslike skin, you weren’t sure if you were feeling awe or envy at this point. With an amused tone that held no annoyance, he reassured, “I told you it was okay, didn’t I? I’m not mad at all, so you shouldn’t feel bad.”

Then his smile fell. Looking crestfallen, he sighed, “If anything, I should apologize. Your coffee is all gone now.”

Immediately alarm bells began to ring all throughout your head. A boy as pretty and nice as him should never be sad, it said. Fix it, it demanded.

Holding up your empty cup, you laughed nervously, hoping to ease his imaginary burden. “No, no! I have so much left! See!” A sad single drop touched your lip. You wanted to end it all.

Despite your pure hatred for the world right now, the boy in front of you found it funny. Or maybe he was pitying you. Either way you’re taking it as a win.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you laughed alongside him, “Maybe if I was an ant, then maybe that would have been enough.”

Clearing his throat, he gazed softly at you and held out his hand, “I’m Silver.”

Without missing a beat, you shook his hand, “(y/n). It’s nice to meet you, Silver.”

“Likewise.” Leaning against the wall, he asked, “What brings you here?”

Perking up, you swayed back and forth on the balls of your heels, “I’m here to pick up by grandma. Though she’s typically not this late.”

You spared your phone a glance. She was twenty minutes late. You would have gone in to see, but last time she scolded you big time. You weren’t really in the mood to deal with her nasty temper.

Silver nodded. “Me too. I came to get my father, but it seems like the class is running longer then expected. -sigh- I shouldn’t have fallen asleep earlier.”

“You feel asleep?” You asked with a light laugh.

Pink dusted his face and his auroral eyes stared up at the sky, “Yes. It’s a bad habit I’ve had for a long time. Anyways, I was supposed to attend today, but well…”

His bashful expression made your heart swoon. Was it possible for a angel to look any more angelic? Apparently yes, judging by the way the sun perfectly hit his features and the sudden appearances of birds and little critters.

“It happens. I was supposed to come too, but I spent too much time getting ready that my grandma left without me. Something about her having to get there early.” She has been acting so strange lately, you hoped she wasn’t getting sick.

“Odd, my father had to get here early too.” Silver hummed, remembering the way his father buzzed in excitement.

A few seconds passed by in silence. Mulling over each other words, you both began to piece together the reasons for their odd behaviors. Looking up at Silver, you gasped.

“You don’t think…”

“Perhaps…”

As if answering your questions, the doors to your grandmother’s friends sunroom burst opened. Followed by her friend’s exasperated yells and two gleeful gigglings. Spinning around the both of your gasped.

“I told you both! Next time I catch you guys kissing in my sunroom, I’m kicking you out!” She huffed.

“Ehehe, Mrs. Eliza no need to get so pent up! We were merely getting acquainted!” The small, youthful looking fae giggled. Hugging your grandmother from behind.

“Acquainted! In my sunroom?!” She gasped indignantly. Her face was hot in anger.

“You’re just mad I’m getting more action than you have in the past 30 years!” Your grandmother cackled, kissing the fae’s cheeks lovingly.

Before the older lady could lift her broom up to wack your grandmother, Silver stepped fowards with an apologetic smile, “Ms, I’m so sorry for my father’s behavior.”

Instantly her anger died down at the angelic boy. Her frown turning into a sweet smile. “Oh, you sweet boy. No need to apologize for your father. Goodness, how did that thing even raise such a sweet boy like yourself.”

Despite Silver's smile, you noticed the way his fist clenched at his side. You rose a brow at him. Ignorant to his quiet anger, she waved the two older figures off. “Just get out of here.”

Once she was outta sight, they both burst out in laughter. Holding each other up as their lungs expelled any air left. All of your grandma’s odd behavior suddenly made sense.

“What the heck?” You finally said, earning their attention. Pointing to the mischievous looking fae, you asked, “This is why you’ve been getting home late? Because you were getting…getting…”

“My freak on.” Your grandma giggled. You suddenly regretted setting up her tik tok account.

Placing at hand on Silver’s shoulder, you gagged, “Oh god, I’m going to puke.”

“Oh please, no need for your theatrics dear.” Your grandma hushed, already making her way to your car. Over her shoulder, she jabbed, “Unless your jealous that I got a boyfriend before you!”

You gasped so loud that it made Silver jump. “Grandma!”

The fae, floated towards your grandma and kissed her cheek. Rubbing her shoulders, he grinned, “Now dear, don’t be so harsh on the youngin’s. I fear it’s a common issue among them all.”

Silver bristled next to you. His cheeks heated up at his father’s remark. Romance has never been his top priority.

“Do you hear them, Silver! They’re mocking us!” You hissed, your face hot with embarrassment.

“I hear them loud and clear.” He sighed. Looking at the fae, Silver asked, “Father, I never expected to find out you were seeing someone. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

His magenta eye widened at the hurt in his son’s voice. You and your grandma looked at him quizzically. Placing a hand on Silver’s arm, you rubbed it reassuringly. And definitely not because you could feel his toned and defined muscles.

“Ah, well your old man is entitled to his secrets.” Pointing to your grandma, he added, “Like my dearest!”

“I never kept it a secret. She just never asked, Lilia.” Your grandma retorted.

All three pairs of eyes fell on you. Suddenly finding your shoes the most interesting thing in the world, you chuckled stiffly, “Well…she's not wrong…”

Shaking her head, your grandma offered joyfully, “How about a nice cup of tea and muffins to settle things out!” Then nudging, who you now know as, Lilia, she winked, “We might not be the only one’s in a relationship soon enough.”

Catching her drift, he eyed the both of you playfully, “Ohoho! Oh lovely. I’ve always wanted grandchildren.”

Confusion fluttered through your features. Looking at each other, you were suddenly very much aware of the lack of space between you both. Jumping back, you both stared at each other bashfully. Your grandma and Silver’s father’s laughter floating in the distance. Your heart drumming against your rib cage at Silver’s shy face.

Sevens, I think I’m going to die!

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for ItsOleander behind the cut; a fake cryptid and a real romantic. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

. . . ‘diamond’, the Batman repeats skeptically. Tim radiates embarrassment, then pulls a bright, shiny stone out of his hidden belt to show to it. The Batman tilts its head again. 

It’s a diamond, yes. An unusually large one, shaped more like a heart than any traditional cut. And it’s new, too. There’s no history to it at all, just faint traces of determined perfectionism and something a little hesitantly hopeful, all burnt in fire and care and pressure. And not something stolen or reclaimed, like one from a Cat would be. 

Though its new Robin tastes just a little bit like a Cat, doesn't he, it realizes. 

Hm. 

That’s different. 

diamond, the Batman says, leaning down to inspect it more closely. 

“He, uh, made it,” Tim says. “Like–for me? I mean, he thinks I’m–a bird, kind of, so he thought I’d like something, uh . . . shiny, you know? Like a magpie or crow or whatever, I guess. Or, um, possibly a penguin. Possibly he thinks I’m a penguin, given this is technically a rock. God, does he think I’m a penguin?” 

hm, the Batman says, frowning consideringly while Tim keeps muttering to himself in concern about penguins, which is understandable, because Oswald Cobblepot isn’t the kind of role model a Robin should aspire after. It’s never had a Robin who could make diamonds, but supposes there's a first time for everything. Not every Robin can do a quadruple backflip or deduce its summoning ritual either. 

. . . or jack tires off a car that doesn't even count as an actual physical “car”. 

Or . . . draw. 

The Batman–pauses. Frowns. 

None of its Robins draw. Why did it just . . . 

Its new Robin flies back up with Dick curled around his shoulders like a cape. Maybe he draws, the Batman thinks, flicking its approximation of eyes towards him. He made a diamond, after all, and cut it to shape. That’s . . . artistic, technically. The human kind of “artistic”, anyway. 

Humans have very strange ideas of what counts as artistic, but the Batman supposes that’s just how humans are. “Just how humans are” has been a necessary thing to internalize, at this point in its existence. 

. . . it still doesn’t know how Jason got the damn tires off, even now. 

“Um, hi. Again. Sir/ma’am. Ma’am/sir?” its new Robin attempts as he lets Dick back down on the ledge, looking nervous. Tim was nervous to meet it too. Dick was too grief-stricken and angry for anything like that, though, and Jason just wasn’t afraid of it at all. 

And . . . 

And–it doesn’t know why it thought “and”, there. It hasn’t had another Robin. There was Batgirl and now there’s the Spoiler, but . . . 

There’s no reason to think “and” there. 

But it thought “and” anyway, didn’t it, it notes, and files that thought away in the place where its mind would go. 

If it had one, obviously. 

“Baaaaatman,” Tim hisses, Robin’s voice layered back over his own. 

“Batman,” its new Robin repeats, then puffs himself up like he’s displaying plumage he’s not wearing–his colors are bright, at least, but not the right colors; not colors meant for flying. The Batman appreciates the instinct, at least. “Um–I’m Superboy! Hey! Nice to meet you!” 

The Batman glowers. Dick, inexplicably, starts sniggering, and Tim makes a pained sound. Its new Robin–not Superboy–looks more nervous, hiding his hands behind his back. The Batman resists the urge to sweep off to go screech at Superman. Barely resists, but resists. 

Its new Robin is just as new as the diamond he made, though, and clearly worried about its reaction. It doesn’t want him to get the wrong idea. 

It’ll screech at Superman later, though. 

meet, it says, leaning forward over the ledge and letting the shadows of its cape wrap underneath its new Robin’s legs, just in case. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to catch. 

A net. 

Obviously. 

He’s still flying wrong, after all. 

Its new Robin peers down at its trailing cape of a net curiously, looking interested, and then peers at it instead. 

“Huh,” he says. “You’re way nicer than everybody said. Well. Everybody except Superman, anyway. He says you’re super-nice.” 

Hm, the Batman thinks grudgingly. Alright. Maybe Superman isn’t trying to take its new Robin. Maybe he sent it its new Robin, after he woke up alive again and found him flying around Metropolis without a net. That, admittedly, would be more in line with Superman’s usual behavior. And general . . . “Superman”-ness. 

The Batman really does not understand Superman. Superman is a thing of Metropolis skyscrapers and alien skies and rolling farmlands and blazing sunlight, though, which are all far beyond the Batman’s sphere of influence and comprehension, so that’s hardly a surprise. 

It does make more sense if Superman sent it its new Robin, though, as opposed to trying to steal him, so the Batman is somewhat mollified by that. Even if its new Robin apparently doesn’t know his own name. 

. . . ah, the Batman realizes, and tilts its head slowly. 

Not “doesn’t know”. 

Doesn’t have. 

diamond, it says, and its new Robin immediately looks flustered. 

“Oh, uh, I just thought Robin’d like something shiny for his nest, maybe?” he says, and the Batman–pauses. 

‘nest’? it repeats carefully. Tim makes a mortified noise and hides his face in Robin’s wings again. 

“Um–yeah?” Its new Robin looks embarrassed. “I mean, I kinda just assumed he had one, I haven’t, like, seen it or anything. Like, I’m not trying to go into his, uh, private space or–um! I’m not doing anything weird, I swear!” 

The Batman tilts its head. 

The Batman has never seen one of its Robins nest. But . . . 

They grow, don't they, it's distantly reminded. Dick's grown into Nightwing, and Tim fits Robin's wings so differently than he first used to. 

Jason grew too, a little. For what little time it had him, anyway. That hot-tempered, fearless stray fledgling who could do his workings with nothing but scraps from the streets and a length of cold iron became a bright grin and gleeful energy and bold Robin-wings. 

But Jason only got to grow a little, so sometimes the Batman . . . forgets. 

They all grow, though. 

nest? the Batman asks again, looking to Tim. Tim doesn't lift his face out of Robin's wings. 

“Priiiiivate!” Tim hisses, and the Batman can sense the mortification rolling off of him in waves. The Batman frowns, leaning down over him to assess him more closely. Robin's talons give off the impression of dry, cracked wood and awkward mistakes layered over Tim's hidden hands full of carefully-hunted information, and it thinks . . . oh. Tim actually tried to. Didn't manage it, but . . . 

The Batman doesn't know how it feels about that. He's so young. Isn't he? Dick hasn't even nested yet; just courted and flirted and occasionally pined. 

“ROBIN nesssssts, now?” Dick teases, popping up on Tim's other side. Tim makes a strangled noise again and huddles in smaller on himself. The Batman frowns in concern. He doesn't feel injured, but . . . 

“Nooooot Nightwing's . . . busssssinesssss!” Tim hisses, snapping his teeth behind Robin's mask, then visibly sulks. “Stuuuuupid.”

The Batman frowns again. 

[bookofthegear]

You test the ladder cautiously. It seems solid enough, and the bolts aren’t obviously loose…well…most of the bolts aren’t obviously loose, anyway. It creaks dramatically a few times, but you don’t die.

You only descend about ten feet. The room opens up dramatically on the far side of the wall, stretching up multiple stories. In fact, you see sunlight cutting through the gloom from openings high overhead. Vast tree roots have crawled through the walls, crumbling the stone near the top. The light is almost strong enough to read by, and certainly strong enough to illuminate the brackish-looking water about twenty feet down from your perch.

The ladder ends atop an immense cement pipe, at least twelve feet in diameter, which protrudes from the west wall. On the far wall, you can see another pipe, twin to this one, some thirty feet away. A thin trickle of water flows over the lip. You hear the splash as it hits the water below.

Jimmy does a brief sweep of the upper stories and returns after a few minutes. “There’s a bunch of gaps up there,” he says, “but I don’t think you could climb up to them. Most wouldn’t fit a human anyway.”

It would require a pretty acrobatic maneuver to flip over the edge of the pipe and drop down, and you probably couldn’t get back up again. Alternatively, the ladder is more or less solid and you could anchor a rope to it and climb down.

Or, hell, you could take a running jump and try to land in the other pipe. (You slept through Physics For Non-Majors. 8 AM is a brutal time for a science class.)

[xergoxponderx]

AK! Jason Todd x Vigilante! Reader (pt. 1)

{Lots of setting up for the story. Fighting. Backstory. lol} wc: 785 Synopsis: You're a vigilante siding with Batman, currently on a mission to assist in finding the identity of the Arkham Knight. Amidst the events of the Fear City plan conducted by the Arkham Knight and Scarecrow, you find yourself being taken hostage by the Knight himself. Though he seems oddly gentle...and familiar...

(Y/N) leaps from building to building, grappling her way across Gotham in homes of finding a lead to the Arkham Knight. She was determined to find something, anything. Not only could Bruce not get any leads as to his identity, but neither could Lucius and Alfred. And Barbara was kidnapped by the Knight...so of course that meant she couldn't help. Barbara. (Y/N)'s friend. (Y/N) shudders as she tries to block out what horrible things could be done to her. She stayed focused as she moves.

"I'm closer...I have to be...", (Y/N) mutters to herself as she looks down at the tank drones. The Knight must be nearby, if this area is so important to protect. "What are you hiding....who are you...", (Y/N) mutters as she thinks of the next part of her plan.

"Don't sound too sure...", a robotic voice states behind (Y/N).

She immediately whips her head around and stands up straight. There he was, the Knight. (Y/N) takes out her weapons, two kunai, one in each hand.

"Easy...not that you'd put up much anyways...", the Knight taunts as he slowly steps forward, "What are you anyways...a wannabe vigilante? A little kid hoping to get in the game? Hm...Deathkiss?"

(Y/N) furrows her brows at this. She's the vigilante Deathkiss to others, but to the Knight it feels that he sees her as a joke. It takes her back to old memories. (Y/N) was a poor Gotham kid on the street...no one to help her but one person. Her only friend, Jason Todd. (Y/N) is smart, capable, but too sweet for her own good. Jason is kind, and is willing to use his kindness to fight for those he cares about. That meant her.

When Bruce took them in it was only Jason who trained to be a vigilante, Robin. (Y/N) hung back. Jason tried to get her to show interest in being a vigilante as well.

"You could be something intimidating but sweet...maybe like Deathkiss or something...", he told her one night as they stargazed on the roof of Wayne manor.

(Y/N) didn't take up the vigilante life until Jason was kidnapped by the Joker...and killed. She swore she'd avenge him somehow, and that she'd protect other's from horrible fates that villians may lead them too. All under the name her best friend chose...Deathkiss.

(Y/N) can't speak as she stares the Knight down. Her thoughts of Jason affecting her. Amidst the silence, she takes her chance. She dashed to the Knight, grunting as she sweep kicks at his feet. She then throws a punch at the chin, hoping to stun him slightly.

The Knight dodges skillfully, grabbing Deathkiss's fist. He's quick, skilled.

"So he did teach you. Batman taught you how to fight.", the Knight says as he grabs Deathkiss's other wrist, "I know all the tricks. And I know you won't last in a fight with me. You're weak. You don't wanna fight...", he taunts.

"Don't tell me what I want!" Deathkiss retorts as she lifts her legs, kicking off of the Knight and backflipping away, landing on her feet yet low to the ground.

"You've learned a bit haven't you? I'm surprised...", the Knight says in his usual calm, almost cocky voice. "Maybe you could take out my men...but not me...and I don't feel like dancing this dance for long."

With a swift motion, the Knight dashes forward and takes hold of Deathkiss.

"Let go!", she calls out.

"Sorry sweetheart.", the Knight says without even feigning pity. He grabs her by the waist with one arm, his hands clinging to her side. With his other hand, he places pressure on a specific area of her neck.

"No-"

Everything fades to black. Her body goes limp as she's placed in a deep sleep.

The Knight gently placed Deathkiss in his arms. Holding her bridal style. He looks down at her. There she is. (Y/N). His best friend. His first love. His...everything. Then came the dilemma.

He knew he shouldn't have kidnapped her. This wasn't part of the plan. This wasn't like kidnapping Barbara, to get to Bruce. This was selfish, all for him. He just...missed her.

But she's a vigilante, working with Batman. What would she think when she woke up? Would she look at him with those kind eyes, and admire him like she did before his death? Not only is Jason a dead man walking...but he's a threat to Gotham and Bruce.

He pushed these thoughts aside and shook his head as he takes her to his base. Safe...with him.

a/n: super rushed ik aaa i havent written anything in so long but if yall like it or have ideas plz lmk until next time!!!

[thegoldenavenger]

Mmmmm, thinking about Luo Binghe flying high on his sword when a magnificent bird veers close to him, flaring its wings and catching the buffet of wind around lbh and riding alongside him

The bird looks at him with steely, piercing eyes and delicately reaches its talons out to grip zheng yang's hilt. It settles carefully onto the sword, ruffling its feathers as it balances. Idly, it toys with the hem of lbh's robe, at the tie on his boot.

Lbh is heading to Qing Jing Peak, of course and this bird rides with him the whole way. Approaching the bamboo forest, the bird catches flight again, quickly looping around lbh before folding its wings and diving.

Not to be outclassed, lbh also tucks himself in and dives. Unerring, the bird and lbh are heading for the same figure.

LBH finally has to pull out of the dive, jumping off Zheng Yang and sweeping it back into its sheath in an elegant movement while the bird, like an arrow, drops almost directly onto Shen Qingqiu, who is waiting.

At the last moment the bird pulls up, it's talons reaching out and it's wings breaking its speed. It perches on sqq's arm, almost a third to half the size of sqq himself.

"Oh you brought home Binghe! How good!" Sqq scratches the bird's feathers around its face, and the bird floofs and twists its head appreciatively. It delicately nips at sqq's fingers and sqq let's out a little "Oh! Right!" And procures a little meat snack for it.

Lbh, totally not jealous of a bird, announces himself and sqq smiles at him, very gleeful.

"Shizun...?"

"Binghe, welcome back! You may not have noticed, but your Liu-Shishu had a little qi deviation and turned into a bird!"

The bird makes a trilling noise after it—he—snapped up the snack, and goes back to nibbling at sqq's hand, pulling softly at his sleeve. Lbh makes a face.

"How long is he going to be like that?" Lbh asks, edging into sqq's space, not so subtly planning how best to oust bird-lqg from sqq's arm.

"Mu Qingfang said that he would likely have to clear the resentment that caused the qi deviation, before his energy can rebalance and return to normal."

"And... he can do that?" Lbh looks VERY doubtfully at lqg, who is busy trying to fit his head back into sqq's palm, begging for more scritches.

"Ah, well. Probably?" Sqq says, "He has times where he seems more lucid. Yang Yixuan is, uh, dedicated, but I don't trust Bai Zhan to have the delicacy required to take care of Liu-Shidi while he's this indisposed..."

"They might still try to fight him..." Lbh agrees.

"Exactly! He's still so intimidating!" Sqq says this while cooing, dragging his hand down the bird's chest. Bird-lqg obligingly raises a talon, showing off wicked finger-length curving claws to Sqq's obvious delight.

Lbh starts, in reflex, as sqq holds his hand out and bird-lqg curves his talons around it, but bird-lqg is exceedingly delicate, exerting a control that normal birds wouldn't possess.

"And he can't stay on the beast mountain?" Lbh asks

"Well, they have so many other responsibilities..." sqq says, almost pouting at lbh.

Lbh thinks that is entirely unfair. He is the one who should be crying in this situation, seeing as his husband has, once again, done backflips in order to arrange lqg into their care.

"You just want to study him." Lbh accuses, finally burrowing his way into sqq's shoulder, leaning on it enough that it unbalanced bird-lqg. Lbh keeps an eye out, but as expected, bird-lqg launches off of sqq with a few powerful flaps of his wings instead of risking harming sqq to readjusting his perch.

"I could turn into a better animal for you to study." Lbh says, petulant, into sqq's hair.

"Ahhh, it will only be for awhile you sticky husband." Sqq says, but dutifully pets lbh's hair.

Lbh shuffles them back into the bamboo house, intending on visiting the kitchens then heading to bed, but he's stopped by the mess of straw and woodchips spread along the floor. A large, wickedly gnarled branch leans haphazardly across the home, almost wall to wall.

"Shizun......" lbh says in despair. "Shizun, he is not staying in the house, is he?"

As if in punctuation, a beautiful feather floats down lazily in front of lbh's face.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

The Jackass Guys Working in Fast Food HC’s!

Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, drug use, tampering with food (and general bad food service practices)

An: This fic was largely inspired by this spot the guys did for the Arby’s Action Sports Awards, a concept which still eludes me to this day…

The awards show that invited the jackass guys to host had this sponsorship deal with some fast food company,

And, as written in tiny print on the contract, the guys ended up getting roped into something they’d never thought they’d have to deal with:

Working in food service.

Johnny

Given his position as the leader of the group, Johnny is kinda the manager by default

Partially because he’s so charismatic and partially because he just has pretty privilege so customers can’t get too mad at him

So when the drive through window gets stuck, guess who’s running orders outside?

He was the most responsible one and often takes up the job of cleaning up the dining area,

Even though he did have a tendency to clean off tables while people were eating or sweep a little too close to the patrons,

“Uh, scuse’ me, ma’am…Feet up, please.” And they never seemed to mind!

In fact, anytime someone got their order messed up, guess who they send in?

“I really am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Knoxville shoveled about twenty apple pies into a bag as turned to speak over his shoulder to the pissed off customer

“But I just wanted the order I paid for-”

“Shh…Just between you and me.” Johnny nudged the bag closer to him with a wink, “Go ahead- take it! I gotcha.”

And he actually took it.

Bam

“What’re you- some kinda wussy?” Bam had a tendency to shit talk customer’s orders, often pressuring them to size up,

“C’mon, be a man! You know what, dude? I’m just gonna put you down for a large combo…”

God forbid a customer is rude to him because holy shit. Bam is a master the guerrilla food terrorisim!

He has 100% spit in a guys onion rings because he yelled at him over the drive thru

And you bet he served them with a smile

Even though Bam has that whole line cook look, he’s maybe the worst person you want to have working at your restaurant.

It’s pretty rare that he gets sent out to register duty (due to the fact it takes him forever to make change)

But when he does, he just looks so disheveled from working in the kitchen

I’m talking condiments on his apron, pieces of meat just…hanging off of him, which obviously raised a couple eyebrows

“I mean- I was in the kitchen. I was workin’ hard back there! Can’t you tell?”

Steve-O

Steve couldn’t help but grin to himself when the angry customer over the drive through sarcastically asked him if he was ‘on something’

“Yes, sir- I am.”

Completely opposite to Bam, Steve is the closest thing they have to a model employee due to his experience working shitty jobs

If you order a four piece nugget, and he’s making it, count on getting a fifth one every time because he knows he would be pumped if he got one.

Point is, Steve is the fast food employee everyone loves, and that extends to his work at the counter

When all the guys are hustling to get orders out on time during a rush, guess who’s out there doing clown tricks to keep customers entertained?

Doing backflips off of the counter and juggling condiment packages to keep people happy people while whistling that one circus theme

“If you like the condiment stuff, wait till you see what I do with the drinks!”

Chris

“Welcome to Arby’s! Can I tempt you with my- I mean, our meat?”

Him and Steve have competitions as to who can say the most out of pocket thing over the drive thru speaker. He’s in the lead (for obvious reasons).

One of the best ones he came up with was when he was told to advertise the new dessert offerings,

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of our pies? The cream is delicious.”

Him and Steve are inseparable, usually spending more time fucking around in the kitchen than actually preparing food

So when, in the middle of a rush, the mayo gun Steve was using gets jammed and (despite his very skillful efforts to fix it) explodes all over him, Chris has a lot to say,

“Oh my god-” He turned to where his buddy was standing there, stunned, “Steve. Is this your man-aise?”

The customers could hear their laughter from the kitchen.

And speaking of Steve, Chris came up with a few tricks of his own to pull when he’s on register duty

Like walking out with two burgers stuffed in the top of his apron like boobs,

“Can I take anybody’s order?” He looked around the restaurant like nothing was amiss as he adjusted the twins.

Ryan

“Welcome to Arby’s, where the world’s a better place…” Ryan sighed, reading off the drive thru script for the fiftieth time that day,

“Whaddya want?”

Ryan hates dealing with customers and, in the middle of a rush, went out for a “smoke break”, which really meant he was going to hide in the freezer until his shift was nearly over

“Really, Ry?” Bam raised an eyebrow at the ice crystals in his beard, which only tipped him off that something was amiss because it was June.

Kinda similar to how Steve and Chris have their drive thru routine, him and Bam tag team on food sabotage, only Ryan’s arguably less gross

Like the worst he’s ever done was take a sip out of a guy’s milkshake before he gave it to him.

It isn’t that hard to believe given the fact he introduced the guys to using “God’s Tongs”

(if you don’t know, is a nice way to say picking up food with your hands)

In fact, everyone remembers that one day a customer was complaining to him that their burger arrived without a bun, holding out the bare patty to show him,

“Alright- I gotcha.” Ryan took a few steps back, grabbing a top bun from the back, and he just chucked the thing at the guy!

That top bun landed perfectly on top of that burger.

[methoughtsphantom]

Wine Aunt Fright Knight Au

Have me a Fright Knight mistaking bby ghost Jason for the halfa child and kidnapping him, leaving him alone for a moment only to find the bby ghost freed himself in seconds and hid to grab him from behind and backflip him so fast he send him crashing to the window of which the kid stole the black curtain of to hide the makeshift of a mess his robin suit was.

hearing as he gets his bearings “sorry guy i already filled my quota in being kidnapped by tall black and broody shadow cryptids.” and watching the little dude disappear in a dramatic cape (curtain) sweep.

having the child pull up sometimes to the place he kidnapped him to to, in his words, eye some books he saw the first time. threaten to pull out the big guns (his sword) and make the kid live his worst nightmare only to get as a reply how unoriginal he is, like been there done that dude, rip off a new one, scarecrow did it better

literally having a bby ghost dodge every single attempt you make at slashing them with your sword without ever having to rely on his ghost powers, the kid is just like part acrobat and martial artist and escape artist and knows to pinpoint every fear tactic he uses and is just snark personified except when he throws at the older ghost references of books he doesn’t have in his lair to make him have them the next time he comes by

Jason the first time he knocks the bucket head of the Fright Knight: i thought you were the black knight not the headless horse, what the fuck really, did your mom just put all the legends in a blender and called it a day??

just a newborn ghost that apparently doesn’t even know how to ghost (nothing can convince Fright Knight that that isn’t why he doesn’t use his powers) and that he always tell to scurrie off nevermind he reminds him of someone, the kid just got quiet the one time he didn’t answer with a grunt and asked who.

just a lil teenager reminiscent of the fighting, a kid so obviously made out to be a weapon that it slowly tears at the Fright Knight how clear it always was.

just a big scary knight of terror ghost at first frustrating over this menace of a child he doesn’t want to acknowledge he’s getting fond of so he continues to attempt to slash him with his sword knowing the second the kid disappeared he would bring him back, and to who he glowers to when he sits next to him to read a book and talk about it. infinitely confused on why the kid seeks out his presence like there’s something familiar of it. begrudgingly coming to the realization he doesn’t want the kid to hurt. hesitantly making peace that’s it’s just jason projecting a safe figure of his past on him.

[jymwahuwu]

hold up hold up, me brain is braining again in the middle of the night (random late night thoughts fr) and I can't stop thinking about that milf!reader and jingyuan realizing he's into milfs sent by an anon.

so aside from all that yummy stuff right there, I was thinking... jing yuan witnessing/seeing reader being all motherly with her children and babying her eldest! Like yanqing came over with his dad to hang out with reader's eldest again and they play in the garden in the backyard, since anon said "eldest", I'd like to think we have a toddler who's a girl and likes to hang out with her brother and yanqing as well! so after the children stopped playing and are feeling exhausted, reader sweeps them off their feet while singing "mori no chiisana restaurant" like a little lullaby, lulling them to sleep. jing yuan witnesses the lovely sight in front of him in the gardens and his heart melts when reader picks up yanqing and cradles him like a baby - pulling the three sleepy children in her embrace as reader leans her back on the tree, with them laying on her lap and chest. seeing yanqing so at peace with that little smile on his face was enough for jing yuan to unknowingly fall in love with the reader, he never saw the little man yearn for a motherly presence so much. and the way reader doted on yanqing as if he's one of her own children had his heart do turns and backflips like SJDHJKHHGS ACKKK!!

What you described is very heartwarming 🥺🫶 Yes, Jing Yuan might go check on you and the kids after a heavy workload. Ever since the general took baby Yanqing home to raise by himself, he had never imagined that the family would have more members… So when he saw you taking care of the three babies, Jing Yuan's heart was touched- His mind jumped to the marriage part(?)

You may find yourself required to be a guest at the General's Mansion… for at least a week. To give him time to move everything in your home to the General's Mansion…(???????)

[bubblegyu00]

zb1 as boyfriends 💋

a/n: thought i'd do one for jebe too 😋 YURA YURA BABY BABY also this is very rushed....

not proofread !

———————・✦

• jiwoong

boyfriend jiwoong is so " yes love? honey. sweetheart. princess " he's so perfect wtf

this man would be randomly talking and say " i would die for you " and mean that shit from the bottom of his heart

i feel like he's very manly and mature but he can not drink an ounce of alcohol or he's wasted. but when he's drunk he's genuinely the cutest thing ever. will cling onto you and giggle like a little kid but you can't even be mad at him because you love him sm

SUCH a gentleman. i don't even need to elaborate on this.

he's so husband material like i would drop my whole life for him to put a ring on my finger

loves loves loves to spoil you on holidays

" i bought you a present! "

" it's the 4th of july jiwoong... and you're korean. "

———————・✦

• hanbin

please do not even get me started with this man.

boyfriend!hanbin will literally revolve his whole world around you. if you think he adores that hamster plushie... take that times 1000 and that's his adoration for you

if he could take you on his tours he would. it literally tears him apart that he can't see you for that long of a period of time.

whenever he can't see you starts to literally hear your voice. he'll call you to get a flight to wherever he's at because he thinks he's delusional and needs to see you before he goes insane

will be your number one supporter at award shows, but when the camera pans to him he acts like he wasn't just screaming your fanchant

will do all of your chores for you even if you don't ask him to

" what're you doing? "

" sweeping "

" hanbin did you not just see me sweep the whole house? "

" well yeah but like- "

———————・✦

• zhanghao

boyfriend!zhanghao is so RGRBRBRHRHRGRGRH

if anyone of your fans goes to a " your biggest fan " contest, they're all losing because zhanghao is winning immediately

honestly was your biggest fan before you two started dating. he made the biggest foul out of himself when he saw you

like the guy started stuttering, turning red, and sweating profusely. you thought it was cute so you just started teasing him more

he's still a little intimidated by you, but he doesn't stutter, turn red, or sweat profusely. ( unless you start making out, cus then he basically has a stroke )

zhanghao is definitely the second best kisser. idk why it's just something about him.... like his lips also just look so soft ( does it show that i dream about him all the time? )

the amount of stuff he knew about you before you started dating is basically stalker level but it's okay cus you're obsessed too.

you two are the most judgmental people i've ever seen oml. like someone will pass by and you'll look at eachother and give them the most vile look ever made. like if i slipped up in front of you two id probably cry

" ew wtf look it's her "

" omg wasn't she the friend that dumped that one guy for no reason "

" yup "

" gross "

———————・✦

• matthew

boyfriend!matthew is so cute he makes me want to do a backflip into a pool of lava ( nichole wtf )

but anyways he's actually so perfect and sweet and perfect and also sweet with some perfect mixed in

wants to be in your arms 24/7, it literally kills him when he has to leave every morning for work. like he genuinely starts tweaking out

every time he goes to canada to visit his family, he takes you too because his mom and sister ADORE you sm. like whenever you're over his mom cooks a whole feast and will talk your ear off, but it's okay cus you love her

will be texting you with the stupidest smile on his face, it makes the members wanna gag. but he dosent notice cus he's to busy typing words to describe how much he misses you

the boys WILL NOT under any circumstances get too close to you or matthew will talk their ears off

" did you just touch her? "

" i passed her the remote?! "

" you know what gunwook i'm so sick and tired of- "

and then he rants for two hours.

———————・✦

• taerae

boyfriend!taerae is soooo bestie boo, like he is literally your hype man

i also think that taerae is basically a mindreader... like you could be craving something and two seconds later there's taerae at the door with whatever it is you wanted. or if you wanted to call him, he'd call you right before you even turn on your phone to call him

quite literally spams your company's emails to let you do a dance challenge tiktok together. and when i say spam, i mean this man genuinely sent them 5000 slideshows as to why you should do the challenge together

absolutely can not go two sentences without bringing you up. the members could literally be talking about plants and he would make it have to do something with you

sometimes he'll wake up and wonder how in the world he pulled you. like he genuinely thinks he is the chosen one because he thinks your so 😍

he loves when you compliment his singing sm. he literally wants to cry every time you tell him how beautiful his voice is, because he only needs your validation, not anyone else's

he's so obsessed with your scent. like he buys your perfume in bulk, and sprays it on his sheets and pillows

" just bought a hundred bottles of your perfume. "

" yeah and now they're all sold out rae "

" that sucks cus im not sharing. "

———————・✦

• ricky

boyfriend!ricky is claimed by me. no like i genuinely have him moved into my house and everything

he's the #1 kisser. like his make out game is STRONG omfg. he's literally just a natural wtf. like he doesn't even have a lot of experience, he's just so good at kissing it's wild

this man would probably try to buy you the world if you said you wanted it. but the thing about quanrui is that you could ask him for boba or something, and he'd buy you the whole franchise

whenever you're apart, he'll call you when you're about to go to sleep, and he won't even turn off the lights until he hears your soft snores

unpopular opinion—i believe that ricky is honestly really shy when it comes to you. like if you tell him that you love him, he'll get shy and clingy and while hide in the crook of your neck

his favorite thing in the world is when your laying in between his legs with your head on his chest. he'll play with your hair until you fall asleep

that's another thing about ricky; he feels guilty when he falls asleep first, because he hates the fact that you're lying awake basically alone

he's so delusional, he literally will lie in bed and plan out your wedding

" oh and your ring is gonna be soooo pretty baby "

" oh yeah? "

———————・✦

• gyuvin

boyfriend!gyuvin oh god.... yes those are tears you see in my eyes 😰

gyuvin likes to mess around and tease his members, but when it comes to you he's the sweetest, softest thing you've ever met

he gets sososo shy when you compliment his on his appearance at all. no like he genuinely covers his face and gets all smiley

the members always make fun of him because whenever you're around, he turns into this giant clingy simp

he honestly is really good about communication. like he absolutely will not let you go to sleep angry

do not break up with him. if you break up with him i'm pretty sure he'd go genuinely insane. he'd also be one of those stalker exes.....

you haven't seen clingly until you've met kim gyuvin. he literally wants to be physically attached to you at all times

" no come back! "

" gyu we've been cuddling for like six hours straight?!"

———————・✦

• gunwook

oh how i love boyfriend!gunwook....

gunwook is lowkey SUCH a gentleman. like if you two were on a date outside and it was sunny, he'd put a hand over your head to keep your eyes from hurting. or if your shoes were untied, he'd tie them without even thinking.

has you as his lockscreen and smiles every time he checks the time, or opens his phone ( it's a picture of you sleeping )

he buys you soooo many stuffed animals, but they're all teddy bears, and they're all named gunwook #1-#203. yeah... he really loves buying you plushies..

loves going to the arcade with you, cus he think you're so adorable when you're competitive/focused

you genuinely make him soooo happy and he smiles every time he looks at you. he could literally be having the worst day he's ever had, but the minute you walk in he has the biggest smile on his face

please compliment him or he'll cry. like your validation is a top priority, just like taerae. so if he's been working on his choreo extra and you notice, he's literally skipping around like a child

he definitely falls for your traps all the time

" do you think i look good today?? "

" yes of course baby "

" good not great? do you not even love me any more?! "

" WHAT?! "

———————・✦

• yujin

boyfriend!yujin is soooo confusing.

i say this because you minute he's bullying you, and the next he's cuddled up with you on the couch watching a movie

i think that he loves and adores you so much it confuses him sometimes since you two a young, and he dosent know what to do with himself

he's not the best at expressing his feeling and you have to understand that. he sometimes feels really bad when he treats you cold, but he doesn't want to admit it

but when he's in a good mood, he treats you so well. like he honestly treats you like you're royal

he sometimes has to ask his hyungs for advice because he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend. but he really tries that's all that matters

but yet again, when he's in a good mood he's clingy and smiley and won't let you out of his grasp for more than two minutes

" where are you going? :( "

" yujin i have to go pee "

" do you REALLY have to pee? "

" uhm.... yes "

" are you sure? "

" yujin- "

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

Rayllum Month 2024! (2/13)

i’ll keep you close, give you the most

(July 3rd - Stay With Me/Don’t Leave Me)

~

He found her while she was training. Backflipping over Marcos’ shoulder to sweep his leg and smirking at Soren, who whined with his head in his hands.

“Marcos!” he groan-called to the Crownguard now laying flat on his back. “How did you fall for that?! How?!”

“She’s… fast,” he panted, accepting Rayla’s hand up.

She tossed her sweaty hair out of her face. “Or maybe you’re just a shit teacher.”

“Why not both?” Callum called, smiling as he walked onto the field now that he wasn’t in danger of accidentally getting his head cut off.

Rayla smiled as she walked over to him, spinning and sheathing her blades with a flourish. “I think it’s both.”

Soren made ‘no-no’ hands, shaking his head even as an amused smile crossed his face. “Hey, no PDA on my fields. Crownguard rules, Step-Mage.”

“We’re not Crownguard,” Rayla smirked, propping an elbow on Callum’s shoulder. “I can’t help it if he can’t keep his hands off.”

“I have very poor self-control,” he agreed solemnly, slipping an arm around her waist.

Soren walked over to shove her a wet rag, shaking a finger in her face even as his frown broke with barely-concealed laughter. “Go get a room. C’mon, Marcos, we’ve been exiled.”

“My scout shift starts in an hour, anyway,” the darker-haired man agreed, offering a hand up in farewell to Rayla and a quick bow to Callum, and brushed his hair out of his eyes as he trailed Soren off the grounds.

Rayla spun to stand across from him, guiding him under the shade of a canopy. “Shall we go get a room? I do have to meet with Opeli later, don’t want to show up like this mess.”

“It would be funny if you did,” Callum chuckled, ghosting his hands down her sides to eventually take her pale, sweaty hands. “She’d hate that.”

“Mm, guess I’ll have to do it then. And in a really nice dress, too. Completely ruin it.”

Callum looped their arms together to walk her back to their rooms, taking his time doing so. His next meeting, one with the visiting High Mage of Del Bar, could wait a little longer. “So you’ll wear a dress to spite her, but never to look pretty for me?” A poke to her cheek to let her know he was teasing.

Rayla scoffed. “I could wear a potato sack and you’d think I was pretty.”

He tilted his head in agreement. “What can I say? You would rock it.”

Climbing up the winding staircase to their adjoined rooms in a comfortable silence, one he didn’t feel an awkward need to fill with meaningless small talk, Callum held her door open for her, bowing dramatically. “This is where I leave you, milady.”

She pouted. “What, you’re not hanging out with me?”

“I have a job, you know. I’d hang out with you all the time if I could, but…” He tapped her elbow with a shrug.

Rayla made a face. “Aww, boo.”

“I know, I know. But I’m free at four, okay? I’ll be here.”

“On the dot?”

“You bet.”

Her eyes dropped down for a moment, then flicked back up as she patted Callum’s shoulder, clearly having something else in mind. As he leaned forward, expecting, she cleared her throat. “See you.”

He caught that hand to lightly press his lips to it, lingering as their eyes caught, hers wide and unblinking as she stared at him with slightly parted lips. “See you.”

Read more on AO3!

[trashthedragon]

JOSHLER PROMPT!!!! ok so like tyler is being a lil fuckboy as per usual and like kisses josh on-stage or smth dumb as he does and josh decides to fuck with tyler back 😌 sorry if that sucked lmao im so bad at this

OMG I'm having so much fun with these Joshler prompts. Here is my second one! I kinda just took this one and ran with it!

Send me a Joshler prompt here!

Josh had never thought Tyler would actually be ballsy enough to do it. It was a years-long running joke: the two of them kissing on stage. It had been written in enough fan fics that Josh and Tyler spent a little too much time reading "out of curiosity". They'd teased about doing it to add excitement to their show when they were opening up for the Save Rock and Roll Tour, since it was a common gag that Pete and Patrick did that always got the crowd freaking out about it. Once they'd worn hockey helmets and joked that they had them on because the two of them couldn't stop kissing. Mark had thought he was so funny posting that for everyone to see. It was supposed to be funny.

But Tyler was never going to do it. Until he was. One second Josh was climbing up onto the piano during Holding Onto You, while Tyler shuffled back and forth on it, rapping, with the gleam in his eye that told Josh he was in for something, and the next Tyler was grabbing him and planting a firm kiss on Josh's sweaty lips, his hands cupping the side of Josh's face. The crowd had screamed so loud Josh thought his ear drums might burst. He had absolutely no idea how he managed to land the backflip, how he was able to get through the entire rest of the show, but soon enough they were climbing back on stage after the end of Trees, gripping onto each other, bowing.

Josh hadn't had time to think about the kiss during the show, but now that he was walking off stage his mind was spinning. How the hell was he going to get Tyler back for that? Had it just been a stupid little joke, Tyler finally doing it?

It wasn't until they got back to their dressing room when Josh asked "Soooo what the hell was that about?"

Tyler looked over at him with a smirk "Did you hear everyone? They freaked out," he clapped his hands together.

"So it was just a joke?" Josh asked, raising his eyebrows at Tyler. He saw a slight flicker of something in Tyler's eyes and he decided to chase it.

"Y-yeah" Tyler said, but he was breathless because Josh was stepping towards him now, all broad shoulders and strong biceps and sweat. "A joke," Tyler certainly sounded less cocky than he had before.

"Hmmm," Josh mumbled, his voice lowering. He'd backed Tyler into the wall now, and his hands moved to Tyler's shoulders. "Do it again," Josh said to him as he pressed his hips squarely against Tylers, making his bandmate gasp in surprise. Josh took the opportunity of Tyler's lips opening and kissed him, hard, his tongue sweeping along Tyler's bottom lip and over his crooked teeth.

"Was that a joke too?" Josh asked when he pulled away from Tyler, somehow managing to remain calm and collected while Tyler panted and leaned in towards Josh again, needy for more.

"What?" Tyler said in a daze, and Josh stepped away from the Tyler and turned away, a playful smirk on his lips, knowing the state he'd left Tyler in now was at least a tiny amount of payback for how dazed Josh had felt after that kiss on the piano. Even if it wasn't in front of thousands of people like it had been for Josh. Tyler had gotten himself into this, and Josh was perfectly happy to give his best friend a taste of his own medicine tonight...

If you like my writing, check out my AO3

[bears-ao3-blog]

can we get a scene with them on the battlefield? I just love when one character is just. in their element fighting and the other character is like "😳 wow"

Crushing Blows - requested by @faeriescorpio (aka my biggest supporter ((ilyyy)))

It was a frustrating day for the Sniper. He had drank his coffee too late in the morning so his hands still had the caffeine shakes and the buzz was making it hard to concentrate, the quiet, cluttering wiggle of his rifle proving it quite difficult to get a sufficient headshot. Every time he thought he'd had a clear shot, the mongrel would move or get blasted to high hell by someone else from his team. He found his frustration growing with every failed attempt, a low growl slipping past his lips when a strong enough wave of anger washed over him as a bullet whizzed past its target. He finally lowered his scope with a slow huff, irritation flowing out of the breath through his nose.  

Bugger this. He needed to relax. Clear his head. 

He adjusted his seating on the crate he had been perched on for the last hour or so, and cracked his back with a grunt and a sigh, loud lops cascading down his spine with two swift twists. Sniper reangled his scope to sweep his view, his attention catching on a certain speedster. He was tucked away in a hard-to-access corner, faced with the enemy heavy. Sniper felt a pang of pity for his partner, knowing the poor guy was going to get pummeled for sure, and he readied his aim to take out the behemoth.  

Sniper's eyes widened as the smaller figure ducked out of a spray of bullets with practiced ease. The runner smoothly pulled his bat from the bag on his back and winded it up, jumping and cracking it over the significantly taller man. Sniper could swear he could hear the "BONK!" reverberate across the battlefield. The marksman watched with awe as Scout shove-kicked the hefty gun right out of the heavy's arms with surprising strength, and Sniper felt his mouth dry as he realized just how much power Scout held in his legs.  

The heavy screamed in anger and swung his burly arms around, trying to swipe at the Bostonian, his eyes shrouded by the blood dripping from the huge split down his skull. Scout dodged them with a smirk, eyes glinting with opportunity as the right moment came and suddenly he was clambering onto and up the heavy. Sniper's blood ran cold as he noticed a pyro coming up from behind him, their flamethrower at the ready. Scout seemed to catch them out of the corner of their eye, though, and whipped out his Force-A-Nature, blasting the heavy's head clean off and using the knockback to launch himself into the air in a very impressive, if not ostentatious, backflip, just in time to avoid a swath of flames.  

Sniper's jaw fell to the floor as he watched Scout point his gun downwards towards the pyro as Scout flew directly overhead them, and shoot them dead on. Scout landed with a crouch as the pyro's body hit the ground before shooting back up with a bounce, shifting his weight on either leg as he dusted himself off with a smug grin. He then high-tailed it out of the corner to get back into the heat of battle, leaving the bodies to disappear off to respawn. Sniper swallowed with a click to his throat, the images of Scout's lithe figure jumping and swinging and flying and shooting bouncing off each other and around in his mind.  

Crickey. 

So much for clearing his head. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It was a particularly chaotic round, and Scout had keenly noticed that both snipers from either team were having some trouble staying holed up in their nests, being forced every few minutes to relocate as to not risk getting back-stabbed or blown to bits. He figured Sniper was still getting his usual shots in, but Scout knew the marksman struggled with being on the go and doing his job. He worked best in peace and quiet, not the overwhelming hubbub of battle. Scout was thriving, itching for a new victim as blurbs of red and blue and more red flew past to him, above him, in front of him. 

He had just finished providing a couple of brand-spanking new exit wounds to the BLU Demo when he saw Sniper whip around the corner next to him and lay flat against the wall. Scout turned around, a big goofy grin on his face, about to greet him cheerily when the gloved hand of the assassin shot out and grabbed Scout by the bag strap, hauling him behind the wall as well as a cascade of bullets shot through the spot where the runner was just seconds ago. They both breathed heavily, Scout from the close call and Sniper from the cardio he doesn't get enough of. Scout huffed in relief, slumping against the wall as the adrenaline of fighting gave way to exhaustion. He needed a sandwich or something, cause he was freaking beat. He spoke quietly, leaning into the other's space with a small smile and eyes hooded with fatigue. 

"Thanks, Mick." 

Sniper's eyes widened, cheeks flushing red before he scowled, pushing the other away with a hand over his cap, turning to the side to hide his blushing face. 

"Shut it, ya hooligan. An' no names on the clock." 

Scout huffed out a laugh through his nose, face being forcibly turned to the side at the other's push. 

"Ok, ok!" 

Sniper's head quickly snapped to Scout- wait...no, behind Scout, the sharpshooter's brows rising in surprise before furrowing, his curling lip showing off gritted teeth, and suddenly a searing pain was coursing through Scout's head as a blunt object was cracked over it. He fell forward, quickly flipping over as he cradled his swimming head, and he realized there was an enemy soldier behind him, shovel in hand and a satisfied grin on his face. He was about to turn and shout at Sniper to get away, but he watched in shock as Sniper's face darkened with determination, his hand coming up over his shoulder to slip his kukri out of its sheath. Scout tried scrambling up, but felt a wave of vertigo and pain argue him back into sitting down, forced to sit and watch. 

The soldier gruffly laughed, obviously seeing Sniper as no real threat, and his grip tightened on his shovel. Sniper growled and shot forward, but he didn’t slash with his kukri. Instead, his other hand sailed to the shovel. With a firm grip, he angled the butt of the shovel towards the Soldier's abdomen and shoved it forward with so much force the soldier choked on a gasp, heaving forward as he was sent backwards, landing hard in the dirt. Sniper quickly advanced, but the soldier was quicker to recover, stumbling back up into standing and swinging his shovel. Sniper blocked the incoming blow with his blade, and Scout watched with bug eyes as the sharp metal of his own weapon sliced into Sniper's left hand, blood steadily trailing down his arm as he grunted out a shout and overpowered the screaming war-fanatic, using the moment of vulnerability to slice a clean cut through his throat. The soldier gargled and choked on his blood, clutching at his wound to hold it closed, before he succumbed to it and hit the ground with a puff of dust. Sniper watched him fall, his chest visibly rising and falling with his gasping breaths. He turned around, crimson red still gathering at his fingertips and dripping into clumps onto the ground. The marksman crouched down, slipping his kukri back into its sheath before gingerly cupping the other's head with his now free right hand. 

"Y'alright there, mate? Ya just got clobbered somethin' fierce, how'sya head?" 

Scout just stared at him with wide eyes and mouth hanging open, absolutely flabbergasted by what he just saw. Since when was Sniper good with close-hand combat? He was a sniper for Christ's sake! 

"How the hell...how the hell did ya just do dat?" 

Sniper cocked a brow, turning back around to see the empty air of where the soldier's corpse lie moments before, before turning back and gesturing with a thumb. 

"Wot, that?" 

"Yes, dat! You were freakin' awesome back dere, what the hell?" 

Sniper barked out a laugh, finding the shocked look on the other's face fairly entertaining. 

"'Roo, I used ta wrangle crocs back in Oz. Ya reckon I can't 'andle a mad bloke with a shovel? Please, I could do that with me eyes closed." 

Scout scoff-laughed, obviously impressed. 

"Well, jeez man. You should show me whatcha got more often, cause dat was...dat was freakin' crazy. And hot. Real hot." 

Sniper's amused look changed to an abashed scowl, pushing the other away again, only this time he accidentally smeared his own blood all over the runner's face. 

"Ew, what the hell, man!" 

"Oh, buggah! Di'nt mean that...we should prolly find Medic."