#Aziraphale could be like “”’hey I saw a cool duck today

[theclaravoyant]

Thinking about how Crowley thinks Aziraphale calls him when he’s bored (when nothing is happening) , when he’s “done something clever” (when something good happens), or when he needs help (when something bad happens) . Like. Crowley my beloved that’s all the times.

[backpfeifenguy]

All in your head chapter 2

“Care to explain what happened out there?” Robin asked, his tone stern. Oh, ain’t no way he’s letting you stay on the team after this.

“I screwed up and took a hit,” Beast Boy replied grouchily. “Explanation over.” You can’t tell them the truth! They’ll stick you in a mental hospital!

“You screwed up?” Cyborg scoffed. “Fighting the god-damned hunter from Bloodborne? I’ve seen you play that game, B; you know the Saw Cleaver’s attack patterns inside and out.” Translation; you’ve wasted way too much  of your life playing videogames for your excuse to check out.

“What, so now I’m not allowed to make mistakes?” Beast Boy demanded. “I can’t fuck up once, one single time, without everybody jumping up my ass?” Yeah, fuck these guys!

“That’s not what we meant and you know it!” Robin shouted.

“No, you’re right!” Beast boy snarled. “Next time I should just dress up like a villain and beat up the whole team!” Yeah, hit’em where it hurts! “Or maybe I could quit the team over a stupid argument, right Cyborg?” Keep going, don’t let up! “Reconnecting with family members that just happen to be dangerous psychopaths worked out great for Star!” He glared at Raven. (no) Yes! “Or maybe I should just jump-start the apocalypse!” At that, he saw Raven flinch slightly. Wow. You’re a dick.

“We were only concerned for your wellbeing, friend Beast Boy.” Starfire said in a small voice.

“I…” Beast Boy sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that stuff about you guys.” Well duh! Asshole. “I’ve just been in kind of a rotten mood lately.”

“I get it,” Cyborg shrugged. “We all have bad days sometimes.” You more than others. “So how about you fill us in on what’s eating you?”

“I dunno dude,” Beast Boy muttered. “I just kinda feel like I can’t do anything right.” Because you can’t! Just today you slept in, wrecked your toothbrush, nearly died fighting Control Freak, and were a dick to your friends!

“Well, we all feel like that sometimes,” Robin said, his tone solemn and his face telling Beast Boy that he wasn’t especially comfortable with the subject matter. “Just remember; it’s all in your head.” Heh.

With that, his friends left the infirmary. Except for Raven. “Beast Boy, we need to talk.” Panic!

“Sure thing Rae,” Beast Boy replied, forcing himself to sound relaxed. “We ended our conversation early this morning anyway.” Yeah, play it cool man, don’t let her know what’s going on! Hell, YOU don’t know what’s going on!

“And we can pick up where we left off later.” Raven said plainly. “Right now there’s something more important I need to talk to you about.” Does she know?

“Oh?” Beast Boy cocked an eyebrow. “And what might that be?” Oh god, the eyebrow. So lame.

“When we were fighting Control Freak, I felt a disturbance in your aura.” Raven explained. She knows! This is bad!

“Well, I did get opened up with a giant saw.” Beast Boy chuckled. Play it off, make a joke about it! Don’t let her know the truth!

“I felt it before you were hit.” Raven replied bluntly. Fuck! Lie to her, now! (no) Do it!

“A giant saw coming at you can be kind of scary.” Beast Boy shrugged. Kind of a weak lie, dude. Still, it’s built around how pathetic you are, so at least it’s got that.

“It wasn’t fear.” Raven said matter-of-factly. “I felt confusion, frustration, a lot of unhappiness, and even some acceptance, but no fear, so sense of self-preservation at all” She took Beast Boy’s hand and looked him in the eye. “Beast Boy, did you want to get hit?” She knows everything! (good) Deny everything, throw her off the trail, do something!

“Are you nuts?” Beast Boy scoffed, snatching his hand away. “Why the hell would I want to take a hit like that?” That’s it right, deny everything.

“I was just making sure you were okay.” Raven said in an unusually conciliatory tone.

“And you decided to do that by calling me crazy?” Beast Boy retorted angrily. “Real nice.”

“I wasn’t calling you crazy.” Raven replied calmly. “Or at least, that wasn’t my intention.”

“Whatever.” Beast Boy muttered sullenly. “Can we please just change the subject?”

“Fine,” Raven sighed. “I believe we were discussing which character you liked better?” Wow, she didn’t put up much of a fight, huh? I mean, she thinks you might be going crazy and she just drops it?

“Well, I like Crowley, but I think I prefer Aziraphale.” Beast Boy answered. “He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he still manages to help people. That feels… right.” You only like him better because you never know what you’re doing. The difference is, you’re not much help.

“I can see that,” Raven replied. “And I certainly like Aziraphale as a character. But it’s how hard Crowley has to work that appeals to me.”

“How hard he works?” Beast Boy asked, genuinely perplexed.

“He’s a demon.” Raven elaborated. “It’s not completely black and white, but the fact is that doing good isn’t easy for him.” She seemed contemplative. “He had to go against his nature to do the right thing, and that feels… special to me.”

“He reminds you that where you come from isn’t where you’ll end up.” There was a moment of silence, during which Beast Boy wondered where he’d got that from, before he began to suspect that it might have been his own.

“...Well put.” Raven said simply.

“It happens every now and then.” Beast Boy shrugged.

“You saying something insightful?”

“Yep.” Beast Boy chuckled. “Occasionally.”

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” Raven asked, her tone unusually earnest.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Beast Boy insisted. “Except for the injury, of course.”

“Are you sure?” Raven asked, looking him dead in the eye again.

“Relax,” Beast Boy said, darting around the promise. “I feel better already.” It was only a moment later, after Raven had left the room, that he realised that he really did.

Cyborg was pleased to see his best friend in higher spirits; the Grass Stain had a way of being unhappy that worried him enormously, and that was without getting carved up. “Hey, B!” He exclaimed cheerfully. “You up for a couple rounds?”

“What’s the game?” Beat Boy asked, throwing himself onto the couch.

“Oh, you know what the game is.” Cyborg replied, grinning hugely.

“MORTAL KOMBAT!” They shouted as one.

“My boy Sub-Zero is taking you down!” Cyborg boasted.

“No way dude,” Beast Boy scoffed. “You know how this goes. Everybody have fun tonight!”

“Everybody Shang Tsung tonight!” It wasn’t just Beast Boy and Cyborg who sang the green shapeshifter’s parody of Wing Chun Tonight, it was everyone in the tower: Starfire belting it out full force, Robin chuckling and rolling his eyes, even Raven joining in, muttering it from behind her book.

“Man, you sure do love you some Shang Tsung.” Cyborg smirked.

“Gee, I wonder why.” Beast Boy deadpanned, expertly handling the shape-shifting sorcerer.

“Don’t you get enough shape-shiftin’ already?” Cyborg asked.

“It’s not the same,” Beast Boy shrugged. “I can’t do people.” You can imitate any animal except a human being.

“Whatever man,” Cyborg shrugged. “You only take him to be a troll anyway.” Yeah, he’s kind of right.

“A troll who just won the first round!” Beast Boy crowed.

“You got lucky!” Cyborg scoffed.

“Oh yeah?” Beast Boy demanded. “And what about this?” He executed a flawless combo.

“Okay, that was pretty good.” Cyborg conceded. “But this is better!” With that, he launched a combo of his own.

Cyborg ended up winning the second round, so the game carried into the third and final, which Beast Boy one by a magic pixel.

“Hey Cy, you know what happens now, right?” Beast Boy grinned.

“Aw, no man! Don’t do it!”

“I’mma do it!”

“Don’t you do me like this B!”

Beast Boy hit a few buttons, and Shang Tsun possessed Sub-Zero, forcing him to rip his own head off. “I did it.”

“Best two out of three?�� Cyborg suggested meekly.

“No can do,” Beast Boy replied, his eyes fixed on the clock. “I’ve got a date, and I should really be getting ready.”

“Oh, so you had time to get a lucky win, but not defend the title?” Cyborg muttered. “I see how it is…” He chuckled. “Seriously though, have fun.”

“That’s the plan!” Beast Boy laughed, running for the bathroom.

Well, I think I speak for everybody when I say we all saw coming. “You’re dumping me?” Beast Boy whimpered. “But why?”

“I’m not dumping you.” Janet insisted. “It’s not your fault.” It’s your fault; she’s the brilliant, adventurous blonde beauty, and you’re the you. “It’s me; I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t keep doing what?” Beast Boy asked, confusion warring with misery. Can’t keep pretending that your ugly face doesn’t make her want to puke.

“This, all of this!” There was a slight edge to Janet’s voice. “You’re part of this whole world that I can’t be a part of. Sometimes I won’t hear from you for days, weeks even! And then when you come back there’s always some new scar you don’t want to talk about, or you flinch when I say a certain word, or duck when a car backfires.” Beast Boy realised with a shock that there were tears in her eyes. “And then there’s this latest thing. You nearly died.” Fighting Control Freak no less. “I’m sorry, but it’s just too much; these last three months have been great, but I can’t be a soldier’s wife.”

“If that’s really how you feel, then I guess this is goodbye.” Beast Boy sighed. It was always going to end like this and you know it. Just be grateful she’s getting out alive; getting close to you isn’t exactly healthy. (no) What’s the score at now? Both parents and a girlfriend, right? With countless near misses for your closest (no) friends and your adopted family, of course. Not to mention civilians, no telling how many of them have gotten hurt because of you, and hell, even a few villains have come close; Adonis might be a piece of shit, but it’s still pretty fucked up that you nearly killed him just because you can’t (no) control yourself. What was it you said again? “I’m not a man, I’m an animal!” Well, when a wild animal is allowed near people, those people get hurt. You know that, but you can’t help it, can you? You still want her to stay around. Selfish (no) prick.

Beast Boy didn’t talk to anybody when he got home; he just went up to his room in silence, turned on his stereo and played music loud enough that he couldn’t hear himself cry.

“It’s not enough that I love you, there’s all these things I have to prove to you…”

[ineedsomeplacetoshoutfantheories]

OP's tags: #Aziraphale could be like “”’hey I saw a cool duck today #and thought of you #and when Crowley’s in That Mood he’d be like oh so you’re bored then #i knowwww it’s easier said than done Crowley #I am begging you to surrender to the mortifying ideal of being liked

Prev tags @silver-soliloquy: #obviously Crowley is framing this as 'he only calls when he wants something from me' and like. yes. #what he wants is to talk to you and spend time with you. bc he likes you

Thinking about how Crowley thinks Aziraphale calls him when he’s bored (when nothing is happening) , when he’s “done something clever” (when something good happens), or when he needs help (when something bad happens) . Like. Crowley my beloved that’s all the times.