#Attack on Titan: The Final Season Part Two | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

giannan04 · 3 months ago

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Can you please do a part two to the Jungwon one shot you wrote!🩷

Ask and you shall receive! A few people asked me to make a part two to my Jungwon X F! Reader one shot (https://www.tumblr.com/giannan04/760529750415589376/i-neeeed-panty-fucking-with-jungwon-ill-love) and I was thinking of writing a part two, I just didn’t know how much people would like the first part! I’m so thankful for everyone who supports my writing!🫶🏻

⬇️Part one is listed here ⬇️

Pairing: Best-friend’s brother Jungwon x F! Reader

Genre:Slight bad boy x good girl trope, smut. Best-friends brother

Warnings: SMUT! Cursing (F word is thrown around a lot), God’s name said in vain like twice (I’m a Christian 😭) choking, p in v, cream-pie!, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP Y’ALL), oral sex (f! Receiving), choking, that’s about all I can think of.

MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT!🔞

You were always the perky cheerleader, dedicated to your academics and looking forward to college—just like your best friend, Niki. Everyone thought you two would end up together, especially since you were the head cheerleader and he was the quarterback of the football team. Jungwon, Niki's older brother, never let you forget that. He teased you constantly for being a “goody-goody”, for being just like Niki. But Jungwon was different. He was the bad boy who didn’t care about school, dropped out early because he was next in line to inherit their parents' pharmaceutical company (it would’ve been Niki, but he wanted to be a doctor), and spent his time smoking, drinking & partying, and bringing a string of different girls home every week—-much to the annoyance of Niki and his parents. Deep down, you always knew Jungwon wasn’t good for you, but something about him drew you in, even if you couldn’t stand his teasing, low-key flirting.

——-

It had been hours since Jungwon fucked you (and your panties), leaving you breathless and wanting more. The heat of his touch still lingered on your skin, making it hard to focus on anything else. You couldn’t stop thinking about the text he had sent when you finished earlier, the one that made your heart race: ‘See you in my room later. I’ll make sure you cum this time ;)’

You were now in the living room, curled up next to Niki, trying to concentrate on the latest season of ‘Attack on Titan’ but your mind kept drifting back to Jungwon. The way he had touched you, the way he spoke to and took control of your body with such ease—it was all too distracting. Niki, blissfully unaware, sat beside you with his eyes glued to the screen, excited to binge-watch your favorite anime. Every time you even thought about slipping away to Jungwon’s room, Niki would either start the next episode or ask, “Where are you going?” and “Why do you keep getting up?” trapping you in place.

Your phone buzzed again. You glanced down to see a picture of Jungwon’s hand gripping his hard-on. His dick was pressed against his boxer-briefs, begging to be freed. You squirmed on the couch, desperate to get up and leave the living room, but every time you did that, Niki would play the next episode. ‘I’m waiting for you’, the text read. Heat rushed through your body and your stomach fluttered, your body itching to get up and leave, but Niki kept chattering about the show, keeping you in the conversation. You could barely focus. All you could think about was how badly you wanted to be in Jungwon’s room.

Another text came in not long after. ‘Wtf are you doing?’ Jungwon's frustration was obvious, and you quickly typed back: ‘I’m trying to get away from Niki, but it’s hard!’

Minutes ticked by agonizingly slow, feeling like house until finally, Niki groaned, clutching his stomach. “Shit, I shouldn’t have ate so many snacks” he groaned, wincing. He stood up and headed toward the bathroom. “I’m gonna be in there for a while,” he added dramatically, and you watched as he dashed down the hallway.

This was your chance.

Without a second thought, you rushed to Jungwon’s room. The moment you slipped inside, you found him undressed, his lean frame illuminated by the dim light. He turned to you, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Took you long enough,” he drawled, eyes raking over your body. “Strip.” He ran his tongue over his lips in anticipation.

You hesitated, suddenly shy, your hands trembling slightly as you stood by the door. ‘Why am I so nervous?’ you thought. ‘It’s not like we haven’t done this earlier… but still…’ Your mind raced. ‘What if he doesn’t like what he sees?’ You couldn’t shake the insecurity that crept in as you stood there, feeling his eyes on you. You couldn’t believe that you acted all impatient earlier just to be nervous in front of him.

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing your hesitation. “What’s the holdup? I already fucked you earlier,” he said, his voice low and teasing, as he smirked at you.

“It’s different this time,” you muttered, tugging at the hem of your pajama shirt. “Before, it was quick… and I still had my cheer uniform on. Now it’s…”

Jungwon rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, clearly unimpressed by your nerves. “It’s not a big deal. Get undressed.” He palmed his erection with impatience.

Your fingers fumbled with the waistband of your pants before you finally managed to strip. You stood before him, feeling exposed and vulnerable, your arms crossed over your stomach and chest. ‘Is he really going to like my body?’ The thought kept looping in your mind, but you pushed it aside, trying to focus on the moment. Jungwon’s gaze softened just slightly as he approached you, his eyes trailing up and down your body. He reached out, his fingertips tracing the curve of your waist. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice softer than usual.

“Thanks,” you replied shyly, avoiding his intense gaze.

Jungwon didn’t waste any more time. He picked you up effortlessly, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the bed; you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. He laid you down gently, pressing his lips to yours in a deep kiss. Yet, as his hands roamed your body, he paused, sensing your hesitation. He pulled back, his forehead resting against yours. “What’s wrong now?” he asked, his tone sharp with impatience. “I already told you, you look good.”

You bit your lip, trying to find the right words. “I told you… this is different.”

Jungwon let out an annoyed sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Please stop overthinking it,” he muttered. “Just let me get to work. I wanna make you feel good.” You blushed. You wanted Jungwon. Badly. You knew he was right, you were doing too much overthinking about everything. “Okay.” Jungwon smirked at your response. He lowered back down and began kissing your stomach.

He trailed kisses down your stomach, his lips brushing against your skin as he moved lower. When he reached your core, he didn’t hesitate. He immediately flattened his tongue against your wet pussy lips. Jungwon’s tongue began to explore you, teasing and tasting, making your body writhe with pleasure. His touch was both demanding and tender as he focused on your clit, swirling his tongue and applying pressure. The sensation was almost too much, and you moaned, your hands gripping the sheets. “Oh my fucking God Jungwon. It feels so good.” You moaned louder, your fingers twisting in Jungwon’s hair as you pushed his face deeper inside you.

"Good girl," Jungwon murmured against you, his voice vibrating through your body. "You love this, don't you?" He picked his lips, using them to suck your clit gently.

The pleasure built quickly, and despite your exhaustion from earlier, your body responded eagerly. “Jungwon…I-I’m so close.” Jungwon’s skillful movements drove you to the edge, as he moved his tongue faster, and you cried out as you came, your body trembling under his experienced touch.

Once he was satisfied with your reaction, Jungwon shifted positions, his hands gripping your hips as he entered you from behind in a rough, commanding thrust, the sounds of your wet cunt filling the air. His dick plus the feeling of leftover cum from your last orgasm filled you with so much pleasure. The raw intensity of his movements made you gasp, each thrust hitting deep, relentless and powerful. "You’re so fucking tight," he growled, his breath hot against your ear. "Already came, and you’re still so perfect for me." Hearing him praise you while he fucked you so good left you craving for more. “Oh my god.”

His pace was unforgiving, his hips pounding into you with each stroke. You could feel his balls slapping against your pussy from behind. “I’m going to make sure you feel every inch," he groaned, pushing you further, your body arching and grinding back against him. His movements were punishing, but the pleasure was undeniable, making you cry out with each forceful thrust. “Yes, Won, you fuck me so good!”

Jungwon’s grip tightened on your hips as he felt his own release approaching. "I’m gonna fill you the fuck up," he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic and frantic. With a final, deep thrust, he came inside you, his body shuddering with the intensity of his orgasm. The warmth of his cum filled you, and he stayed buried inside, panting heavily. The warm cum and his thick cock felt so good inside you, you didn’t even want him to move.

Afterward, Jungwon carefully pulled out, his eyes still intense as he grabbed a warm cloth, which he already had waiting on his dresser. He began to clean you up and you felt the care in his touch. "You did so well," he said, his voice a mix of praise and control. "Such a good girl, taking everything I gave you." You’re murmured softly, that was all you could do. You were laying there spent, made a mess by Jungwon.

He leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs as he continued to clean you. "Look at you, all wrecked and perfect," he whispered softly, a teasing edge still present in his voice. "Can’t even move after all that."

He helped you into his arms, covering you with a blanket and pulling you close. His touch was soothing as he rubbed your back, but there was still that familiar sharpness in his tone. "Don’t get too comfortable," he warned with a smirk. "Next time, I won’t be so easy on you."

He pressed gentle kisses to your forehead, his hands lingering on your body in a caring way despite his earlier harshness. "You did great," he whispered, his voice softening. "You’re amazing." You really did like Jungwon. Besides how good he made you feel sexually, you could feel how much he cared for you. And he made you feel good about yourself. But you couldn’t help but wonder if Jungwon saw more in you than just sex.

As you lay there, deep in thought, Jungwon noticed the distant look in your eyes. "What’s on your mind?" he asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You hesitated, feeling a blush creep across your cheeks. "I was just wondering… what does this mean for us? Are we… official, or am I just… your fuck buddy?" You bit your lip nervously and played with your fingers, unable to meet his gaze.

Jungwon rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips as he pulled you closer. "What do you think? You’re my girl," he said confidently, leaning in to kiss you deeply. Before you could respond, he continued, "I’ve always wanted you. It drove me crazy that your little “good-girl” self was too occupied with school and your friendship with Niki to see that."

He looked into your eyes, waiting for your response. "Do you feel the same, despite what you’ve heard about me? I know Niki told you I’m not good enough for you”

You nodded, kissing him back with equal intensity, holding him close. "I do," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity.

Just then, Niki barged into the room. "I knew you guys were fucking!” he exclaimed, giving you both a stern look. "Seriously? I couldn’t even take a shit in peace without hearing everything! And you’re supposed to be my company, Y/N!”

The tension in the air was thick as Niki stared at you, in the same bed as his older brother. You laughed awkwardly, attempting to break the tension. “Um, I’ll be right back down, Niki.”

Niki huffed, rolling his eyes. “So, are you guys like “a thing” now?”

Jungwon smirked mischievously at his younger brother. “Damn right.” He leaned down and kissed you, not caring that Niki was watching. Niki wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Gross”, he said, turning towards the door.

Before he left the room, he looked over his shoulder, directly at Jungwon. “Just make sure you treat her right. I don’t play about Y/n.”

Jungwon held you even tighter, his face nuzzled in your neck. “No shit. I’ll treat her like a princess.”

You couldn’t stop the cheesy smile that tugged at your lips. You knew Niki wanted the best for you, but you had no doubt in your mind that Jungwon was good for you.

——

A/N: Y’all, Jungwon is a DOM and I will die on this hill!😭🫶🏻

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sixpennydame · 1 year ago

Text

Make. Believe. ❖ Act 2

Actor!Levi x Fem!Reader

Levi has always kept his professional and private life separate…until you came along.

Warnings/Content: NSFW, Minors do not interact, vaginal sex, creampie, angst, mentions of AoT final season episodes

A/N: You know it wouldn't be me if I didn't add a little angst in there. ;-). This story will have a final, third part.

Act 1 | Act 3

“Levi! Levi! You’re needed in hair and makeup in 5 minutes.” His assistant knocked on the locked door of his trailer.

“Yeah…yeah..I’ll be right there. We’re just working on a script analysis.”

Levi currently has you hoisted up against the small kitchen counter, his pants down around his ankles as he’s pounding into you. You’re both sweaty and disheveled, and definitely not doing script analysis of any kind.

“Don’t go, not yet..” you purr into his ear before nibbling on his earlobe.

“God, I wish I didn’t have to.” He grabs the sides of your waist and starts thrusting even harder, his breathing becoming short and erratic. His climax comes intensely, even with a quickie like this. It’s just how his body reacts with you, he can’t explain it.

He lays his head on your shoulder. “You vixen, see what you do to me?” He looks down at his watch. “Shit, I’m gonna be late. Aaliyah is gonna kill me.”

He pulls on his pants, runs his hands through his hair, and gives you a quick kiss. “I’ll see you on set later.”

A sigh escapes his mouth as he leaves his trailer. What the hell is going on with him?

Levi had always prided himself on being a professional. He took his job seriously and others respected him for it.

He was sad that Attack on Titan was coming to a close; he’d met some of his dearest friends through the show and it allowed him to make a true living from acting. On the other hand, it had catapulted him into a spotlight he never truly wanted. The paparazzi, the tabloids, the constant prying into his personal life - it drove him mad sometimes.

The press was always trying to pair him with his female co-stars. If he was seen having dinner or even a coffee with any of them, suddenly they were a couple and the rumors would fly. Sure, he’d had some flings here and there, but nothing serious, and certainly nothing he wanted the public to know about.

Between filming Attack on Titan and his various other film projects throughout the year, Levi barely had time for romance or a relationship anyway.

And then he met you.

His first impression of you was that you were cute. But there was no shortage of pretty faces in this industry, and he wondered if you were just another one of those young actresses chosen more for their looks than skill.You fit the physicality and persona of the character of Anna well: you had a timeless, classic look about you that fit perfectly with the 1920’s time period and bright, beautiful eyes. In fact, it was your eyes that he first noticed, because he could see every emotion you were feeling through them. As time went on he’d get to know you better, and would learn how to read your emotions through your eyes. You were like an open book.

Any concern about your skill was quickly dismissed the first time he rehearsed with you. You were serious and hard-working, and you had done your homework on your character. Initially he’d offered to spend time with you because he wanted you to feel comfortable with him, but as the days passed he found that he just ‘clicked’ with you.

He’s not sure when he began to desire more. Maybe it was that first intimate scene when you threw him off guard by taking his fingers in your mouth. More than likely, it was in the quiet moments you two shared together - reading lines to each other, the way you would bite your bottom lip when you were concentrating. Or when you’d rehearse blocking, feeling your warm body against his, weaving your fingers together as your characters held hands.

When he felt himself get hard while shooting the sex scene, Levi knew he was in deep. It was the first time that he’d just allowed himself to lose control, for a brief moment. But seeing you there, your beautiful body displayed before him, your eyes wild and yearning, he couldn’t help himself. Even rubbing against you like that felt like a dream; and then you moaned his name in his ear…

God, he’d loved that. He’s not sure how he was even able to stay in character. Maybe he hadn’t. It was all starting to get mixed up.

——

Levi leaves his trailer to find Aaliyah, his assistant, waiting for him with her arms crossed and a to-go cup of tea in hand.

“Seriously, Levi?” she huffs, handing him his tea. “A locked door again?”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. We just…needed privacy for the blocking.”

“I thought it was script analysis?” Her eyebrow raises.

They stop walking and stand in front of the makeup trailer. “Right..script analysis AND blocking. Thanks for the tea - is this English Breakfast?” He sips the drink, attempting to change the subject.

“Levi, it’s been four weeks of locked-door-script-analysis-blocking-whatever…I know what’s going on between you too.”

Aaliyah moves closer. “And it’s fine. You’re both adults, do whatever you want. But don’t get too distracted.” She puts a hand on his shoulder. “And people are starting to talk. I know you hate that.”

It’s true, the last four weeks he had been distracted. He just couldn’t get enough of you; or rather, you couldn’t get enough of each other. He loved kissing you, holding you, being between your legs. But he also just loved being with you: your loud laugh, your ability to make everything a dumb song, your kind and caring nature. Everything about you was just magic to him.

And he should have known people would start talking: the chemistry was undeniable between you two. The following week included shooting scenes of the two characters being hopelessly in love. There were montage shots of the both of you lying naked in a field, him brushing over your hip bones with flowers; next, it was swimming in the creek, your wet summer clothes clinging to your body as he teased you to jump from the rock; another yet was the two of you reading by firelight in his cabin, your legs propped on his lap as you both laughed at the story. Watching the two of you act together was like watching something intimate and special; even crew members that didn’t work that day would come and observe.

At the end of the day, one of you would end up in the other’s room, opting to be with each other rather than go out with any other cast and crew members. People probably were talking, but for the first time in a long time, Levi wasn’t thinking about what others thought - he was just doing what felt good and right in the moment. For a seasoned actor such as Levi, it was reckless and selfish…

…and very likely driving his assistant Aaliyah crazy.

“If this gets out, the rumors may overshadow the publicity events we have set up for Attack on Titan next week. Just..be cautious,” she warns with a concerned look on her face.

——

The following week, the film’s final, pivotal scenes were scheduled to be shot. Since these concentrated mainly on Anna and her husband, Levi had some free time that his publicist decided to fill with some promotions for Attack on Titan’s final season. Filming wrapped for the last episode months ago, but he and a few others were also called in for some last minute voice over work. Interviews, talk shows, and social media events were the least favorite part of the job for him, but he happily obliged to be able to see some of his closest friends again.

As he boarded the plane he thought about you, like he often did these days. Maybe he could bring you to some of the AoT premiers and introduce you to Erwin, Hange, and the others. It surprised him: he was planning a future with you after filming. He’d never done that with anyone before and it honestly scared him a little.

When Levi arrives at the studio where AoT is filmed and edited, he instantly feels like he’s at home. So many memories shared with such amazing actors. Only a few minutes pass before he sees a familiar face.

“Oh shit.”

“Levi fucking Ackerman.” Zeke steps out of the sound booth. “Look at you, still have a tea in your hand and a scowl on your face. I think you’re becoming more like your character every time I see you.”

“Well I drank it so much on set it just became a habit. But hating you might be the other thing I grew accustomed to.”

They both stare at each other intensely then break out into laughter. Levi reaches out to shake his hand. “Damn, I’ve missed sparring with you. How’ve you been?”

“Good, man. Can’t complain. You?”

“Not bad, not bad. Good to be back in the studio with you all. I’ve missed this.”

“But you missed me most of all, right?” Zeke puts an arm around Levi.

“I never get a chance to miss you, Zeke. They always put us in interviews together.” Levi laughs. “Did you see we’re doing the Vanity Fair one next month?”

Zeke nods as he walks down the hallway with Levi. “Yep. And then we have the WIRED one in a few weeks where we read the google searches about us. I wonder how many of mine will be monkey related.”

“I had to do one of those Tik Tok Challenges with the kids yesterday. God, I shouldn’t call them kids anymore, they’re all in their 20’s now. Anyway, it made me feel incredibly old.”

“Speaking of being old…” Zeke's eyes shine with mischief, “what’s a grandpa like you doing with that new, young co-star? Please tell me she’s single.”

“She wouldn’t be interested in you. She’s definitely not your type.” Levi found himself getting defensive. “And I’m not that old.”

And Zeke saw it immediately. “Ah, fuck. You’re into her.”

“Oh come on…” Levi tries to blow it off with a wave of his hand.

“No no - I’ve worked with you long enough to know that look. But good for you, man.” Zeke pats him on the back. “Press is gonna have a field day with it, though. I can speak from experience. And then there’s the constant juggling of schedules, trying to find time to see each other. You’re in your prime and she’s just starting out - who knows when you’ll ever have time for one another, especially with the schedule we’re about to have. It can strain a relationship.”

Levi’s schedule was packed the rest of the day with recording and media events, but Zeke’s words had planted a seed of doubt in his heart, and it had him troubled. He was right, dating another actor is difficult, especially if they’re both steadily working. Was getting in a relationship the best thing right now, even if it felt so right? Were you both rushing into something neither of you were prepared for?

____

Levi returned to set later that week, his mind a jumbled mess of thoughts and worries. It was late, but he’d texted you to say he was on his way so you were more than likely waiting up for him.

When he arrives to your room, you practically jump into his arms. “I missed you.”

“It was only a week,” He chuckles, then squeezes you a little tighter. “I missed you too.”

You grab his hand and lead him out of the foyer. There were candles lit and a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table.

“What’s all this?” he asks.

“I have big news.” Your face is beaming and you grab both his hands. “Remember that series I auditioned for before we started filming?” She pauses, building up the tension. “Well…I got it. I got the part!”

This was big. It was a huge HBO series that was already being talked about before casting had even started. Actors from all over were competing for roles, so the fact you got a part just solidified for Levi what he already knew:

Your star was rising.

“That’s amazing! I’m so, so proud of you. You deserve it.” He hugs you tightly.

You pour the wine and give Levi a glass. “I just can’t even believe it. First this role, and now the series? It’s happening all so fast.” You clink glasses with him and take a sip. “I’ll have like two weeks at home and then I fly out to London for costume fittings.”

Levi can feel the excitement radiating off you. “When does filming start?”

“In two months. It’s being filmed in Iceland, so I’ll be spending the rest of the year there, from the looks of it.”

His heart sank. He knows how the industry works, and he wasn’t naive enough to think that they could be together forever. He just wasn’t ready for this all to end yet.

“But I have some breaks in between, I think.” You’ve already got your phone out and are looking through your calendar and appointments. “You’ll probably be doing a lot of publicity for the final part of AoT, so maybe we can try to coordinate our breaks to be together?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave for Japan after we wrap here for the start of the publicity tour, then Europe and the U.S. once the final episode comes out. It’s gonna be difficult.” There’s a worried look in your eyes so he cups your cheek. “We can talk about it later. Right now, we have some celebrating to do!” He takes a drink of the wine and gives you a reassuring smile.

That night, he makes love to you softly and lovingly, kissing down your chest, your hips, your thighs. He wants to take in every part of you, treasure every moan and sigh. While you sleep in his arms, he runs his fingers through your hair. He wishes they could stay in this room forever, that the filming for this movie would never end. But the real world - and their careers - are waiting, and it’s not slowing down, for either of you.

It’s selfish of him to want you for himself. He knows that this film will bring a lot of attention for you and that will bring more and more jobs. To ask you to be with him, to make time for him, it isn’t fair to you.

Plus, he’s quite a bit older than you are. He can already hear the tabloids having a field day with that one. They would probably blame your rising celebrity on being with him. You don’t need that kind of negative attention.

He feels a heaviness in the pit of his stomach, fearing what is inevitable.

____

The final scene of the film is shot deep in the mountains, where Levi’s character has moved. In the script, he’s left the estate in order to escape his feelings for Anna, but in the end, she leaves her husband and seeks her lover, choosing to be with him.

It’s a beautiful moment. The sun is just rising over the mountains as you walk towards the cabin. Levi turns around and sees you, but neither of you say anything. The wind whips your hair across your face as you approach him, and he pushes it back, cupping your cheek and bringing you in for a kiss. All the crew watches in silence.

“And cut! That was perfect, you two.” The Director gets up to face the crew. “And that’s a wrap, everyone!”

There’s applause, then the crew starts taking apart equipment and loading it into trucks. You look at Levi and smile. “I guess that’s it then.”

Crew members start coming by to congratulate you both and to spread information about the wrap party later that night. Levi wants to get you alone, to talk with you privately, but you’ve already been whisked off by your assistant.

You ride together back to town in the same car, but since you’re not alone, Levi decides to text you:

Can we talk when we get back to the hotel?

Sure. <3, was your reply.

____

Levi’s palms are sweaty and his heart races as he waits for you in his room. When you knock, he opens the door to see your beautiful, smiling face. He can feel his heart breaking already.

“Sit down. We need to talk.”

“Ok,” you sit down next to him and he takes your hand, “what’s up?”

He knows he has to just say it, even though it’s hard. There’s no way to ease into it. “Now that filming has wrapped, I’m thinking we should cool things off.”

She pulls her hand away. “What do you mean, cool things off?”

“We had fun together, but once this is over we’ll be in two totally different parts of the world. It’ll be that way for a while.” He looks down. “You don’t need to worry about seeing me or being in a relationship.”

That makes her scowl at him. “Don’t put this on me, Levi. Because that is not what I want. I want to be with you,” she pauses, searching his face, “I thought you wanted that too.”

“I-“ he thinks carefully about what he should say next. “It’s not realistic.”

He looks into your eyes - those beautiful eyes he’s learned to read so well - and knows he’s hurt you deeply.

He cups your cheek. “You are such a talented actress. Working with you, getting to know you, has been the greatest experience the last few months. But you are about to do big things. You need to focus on your career, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“So this was just a fling for you? Something to pass the time?”

“Of course not.” Levi’s stomach is in knots. “I haven’t felt this way about someone since…God, I don’t know if I ever have. But I don't want to start a relationship I can’t give one hundred percent to. You deserve to be taken care of and treasured. I,” he struggles to say the words, “can’t give you that right now”

He sees a few tears running down your cheeks and he wipes them away with his thumb. Then he brings your forehead to his. If this is the right choice, why does it hurt so badly? He thinks to himself.

Levi expects you to yell or push him away, but you don’t. “What we had - it was good, wasn’t it?” you ask, sweetly and sadly.

His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, pushing down all the things he wants to say. “It was. Really good.”

He can still feel it - the pull you have on him. He tries to will himself to move, but he can’t, he doesn’t want to. You plant a soft kiss on his lips, then another. He opens his mouth and feels your soft tongue mingle with his, as the kisses grow more passionate.

Your leg moves across him and you now straddle his lap while Levi’s hands grab your ass, pulling you closer to him. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both continue to kiss and Levi’s hands move under your shirt to cup your breasts.

You begin to grind on top of him and Levi adjusts himself on the sofa so that his hardening cock can rub you exactly where you want it. God, he can’t get enough of your body.

There’s a sudden stop in your movements and then you’re hiking up your skirt and pulling off your underwear. In answer to your actions, Levi undoes his pants and pulls out his cock right as you sit back on him. In one fluid motion he slides into you; you’re already so wet but tight, so he wants to take it slow, but you won’t allow it. You raise up your hips so that only his tip is inside you and then you sit back down, taking him in fully.

You undulate on top of him and he can feel you tightening around his cock as you move. Maybe this is your way of punishing him or just a way to use him, but he doesn’t care. If he can be with you, just one more time, then he’ll let you do whatever you want.

He grabs your hips as you move up and down, your pace turning fast and relentless. When he leans in to kiss your neck, you push him away, forcing his back against the sofa. Your hands on his shoulders, there’s not much Levi can do other than let you have your way.

Neither of you say anything, not even through moans, but your sad eyes stay fixed on him. You’re so warm and so wet, Levi can feel one of those intense climaxes coming again for him.

He cums inside you, and a deep guttural moan escapes his lips. Your movements switch to a deeper grinding motion as you pursue your own end.

You lay your head in the crook of his neck as he puts his arms around you. Minutes pass and neither of you say a word or move a muscle.

He’s a fool to give this up.

“Goodbye, Levi.”

You get up, quickly slip your underwear back on and leave without another word.

——

Levi reluctantly goes to the wrap party later that night, only planning to show his face then get out of there as soon as possible. Maybe if he only stays for a brief moment, he won’t have to see you.

But then you show up with a few other cast members. He can tell you’re already drunk because you're talking loudly and hugging everyone. Either you haven’t noticed he’s there or you refuse to acknowledge him, and both pain him. He has to get out of here, but before he can make his exit he’s grabbed by the Director.

“Everyone, let’s give a round of applause for our two leads…hey where is our Anna? Get over here!”

You walk out of the crowd and stand next to Levi. As the Director pushes you two together, you smile and take turns thanking the crew and supporting cast. Your smile is radiant as you speak, but Levi notices one difference:

Your eyes, once so easily readable, were now closed off to him.

You work your way around the room and Levi decides he shouldn’t leave the party yet, especially since he thought a guy from the supporting cast was flirting with you. Jealousy begins to build up in his heart as he watches you from afar; you laugh, placing a hand on the man’s arm then pulling it away. Levi’s own hand grips his whiskey tightly before downing it in one shot.

When you’re finally by yourself and ordering another drink at the bar, he can’t resist walking over to you.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” he says with vitriol and a hint of inebriation in his voice.

You don’t look at him. “Yeah, that’s what you do at parties.”

“And you’re flirting with everyone here…is that what you do at parties too?” The words start falling out and he does nothing to stop them. “Looking for the next person you’ll fuck tonight?”

You turn your head at that last remark, as your eyes flash and shoot him a pained look. “You don’t get to judge who I talk to tonight,” you move closer to him, your voice lowered to a whisper as you speak, “or who I fuck.”

All he can do is watch as you turn your back to him and join your group at the table.

——

The next morning, Levi is awakened by a knock on his door.

“Levi! We need to leave in 30 minutes to catch the flight to Japan. I hope you’re packed in there,” Aaliyah says in an authoritative tone.

Levi rolls out of bed and grabs the water on his bed stand. He shouldn’t have drank so much last night, but it was the only way he could deal with seeing you. He’d refused to leave that party until he knew you went back to your room safely - and alone.

He opens the door to see Aaliyah waiting for him, tea in hand, as usual.

“Ugh, you look like shit. Please put these on.” She hands him her Rayban sunglasses.

As they walk down the hallway, Levi stops at your door and almost knocks. Maybe he can take back what he said last night; maybe they can make this work.

“She already left. A few hours ago.” Aaliyah puts a hand on his slumped shoulder. “Come on, we have a flight to catch.”

Levi sighs, then something shifts inside him. This is over. And he has work to do.

He puts on the sunglasses and prepares to face the growing crowd of fans that have heard he’s leaving the town today. “Right. Let’s go over my Japan schedule on the way to the airport.”

Join my taglist!

#levi ackerman smut #levi x fem!reader #levi x reader #levi x you #actor!levi #aot actor au #actor au!levi #aot fanfiction #n.sfw #sixpennydame series #sixpennydame make.believe.#make. believe. part 2

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amywritesthings · 11 months ago

Text

the morning of. / an armin holiday fic

pairing: armin arlert x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) word count: 2k summary: It's not only your first holiday after the Battle of Heaven and Earth, but your first time living with Armin. Waking up next to overachiever has its perks.

tags: 18+ MINORS DNI! post-aot finale, smut, dirty talk, foreplay (f!receiving, armin's a giver), light dom undertones, orgasm, angst with a happy ending, armin is a sweety but also a lil freaky credit: dividers by @saradika

welcome to the ninth day of the twelve days of amymas and also merry christmas eve !!

Christmas Day.

This year marked the very first holiday season after the Battle of Heaven and Earth.

And you?

You're surviving, but you're not alone:

After the papers were signed and the truces were finalized, all Armin Arlert wanted to do was go back to Paradis and exist.

To live in peace if only for a little while, perhaps somewhere not too far from the sea, before he went back for more ambassadorship opportunities.

For his friends.

For himself.

(But with you.)

So you went back on the first boat to Paradis with Jean and Connie.

While Armin worked hard to square away everything on Marley, you worked towards the future of rebuilding of this little island, aiming your sights beyond the Walls.

To create the perfect home for the two of you.

Although gathering building supplies and hands steady enough to build a cabin required effort, you managed to pull enough favors from the people of Paradis: a quaint cabin on the outskirts awaited the 15th Commander of the Scouts on the far side of the island, right by the mouth of the ocean.

And when Armin came home, that’s where you stayed.

Although it was no secret that you and Armin had a thing in the Scout Corps, it's odd to acknowledge it was real in front of all of your friends.

Yet, given the weariness in everyone's bones, no one bats an eye at the fact that you live together.

(It’s better that everyone is happy in their own way.)

And it's quiet, for the most part.

The tide comes and goes. Birds chirp and squawk over the waves.

Armin had been busy visiting Mikasa Ackerman on Christmas Eve, imploring her to stop by for dinner at your place.

You were already prepared for Christmas Day. After all, it was easy to make him gifts while he was away so much.

Crocheting a sweater, for instance, to combat the chill of the sea. Buying a few practical items, for the next time he departs for Marley.

When Armin returned, he seemed happy.

(Mikasa said yes, he exhales with relief.)

And when you went to bed, Armin seemed in his own head, like he was waiting to be alone.

You assume it's for reflection.

It isn't a bother to sleep early.

When you awake Christmas morning, the sun has yet to rise. Only a faint hue from the open bedroom window illuminates the room.

Armin is still fast asleep.

His blonde hair has gotten a little longer around the frame of his face, cascaded in a halo around his face.

He looks exhausted.

Spent.

Carefully you nudge his outstretched arms, attempting to wake him just enough to cuddle against him.

Armin gives easily to your request, making a small noise in his sleep as he subconsciously invites you in.

By the time you nestle under his arm, he lets out a soft sigh.

“...time is it?”

“Early,” you whisper back, nuzzling your nose to him. A gentle ghost of a smile passes against his lips. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mmmph — no, gotta… get up,” he mumbles, eyes still closed. “It’s Christmas.”

You shake your head with a small laugh, studying his face.

“We don’t have any plans. We can sleep until dinner if we want.”

“Mm, but what about…”

"Rest, Armin," you interrupt, kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm going to make some tea."

Armin takes a slow inhale through his nose, only to curl his arm around your body to pull you closer.

Firmer.

Keeping you from making a move from his side.

It's amusing. Cute.

To accommodate, you drag your thigh higher along the outer curve of his to slot better beside him.

“...can’t go downstairs," the command is his exhale, "not yet.”

“Why not?” you question playfully.

Using your shoulder, you crane your neck to view the mouth of the stairwell connected to the bedroom — as if you'll manage to see why for yourself.

Armin catches the movement, causing him to finally open those brilliant blue eyes of his.

He’s a light sleeper, freakishly alert, but through the last few months he's found himself more lax when it comes to laying in bed with you.

(At ease. Gentle.)

“Because I have to be there when you do,” he replies with a little more awareness in his voice. “I… might have done something.”

You whip your attention back down to the blonde beside you and note the growing blush on his pale cheeks.

“Done… something?”

“Like maybe gone a little overboard.”

You blink. “In what way?”

“In a… well, it was supposed to be a surprise— Wait!”

When he notices you shift to sit up, Armin quickly pushes your back against the mattress and pins you to it with his own warm body.

He curls around you with a light chuckle, eyes still a bit bleary.

You drop back with a gentle oof, and stare up that boyish, charming face of his.

You can’t help it.

You lean up to capture his lips in a brief kiss, and he makes a short noise of surprise.

Your head drops back to the pillow, lips curling to a smirk.

“Is that why you’re so tired? You were up all night doing something downstairs?”

"You make it sound like I was doing something bad."

"I mean, if the shoe fits."

"For your information, I brought a few decorations back."

"Back?" you repeat. "Like from Marley."

He nods. "Not that you didn't do a great job with the tree. I didn't touch that. I just... sort of covered our entire house with stuff. Garland. Candles. Beads—"

"Armin?"

"—so you'd wake up to a sight to behold. You know, for our first winter season." He pauses before sheepishly including: "Together."

Chuckling to himself, Armin cups his palm to your cheek and leans in, refusing to allow that one kiss to be the only one.

“You always ruin surprises.”

“I know,” you manage to joke right back. "But I bet it really is."

"Really is what?" he murmurs, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to your lips.

You accept it with a hum of approval.

"A sight to behold."

(Just like him, you want to tell him, but he'll never recover.)

Armin doesn’t just give kisses — every peck has a meaning, every slow drag has a purpose, and the air in the room shifts in an instant.

The kisses deepen, and soon enough Armin is caging you underneath of him.

His palm cradles your head like you’re a precious gem, mindful of his weight hovering over you.

When his hips instinctually grind into yours, the thin layer of your pajamas make direct contact between your legs.

Armin chokes out a shaken gasp, shuddering from pleasure.

He’s already hard from morning wood, and you can’t help but grin against his mouth.

“Sorry,” he hiccups, pressing his forehead into yours as he stops himself. “Sorry, you — it’s, ah, it’s always you.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, willing his arousal to disappear, before fluttering his eyes open down to you.

“We can be lazy about it,” you sing-song, reaching down to snap the waistband of his pajamas. He jolts. “If you want.”

Armin's eyes widen a fraction at what you’re implying, before his face turns scarlet.

“I mean, yeah, I… you don’t have to convince me. But — downstairs—”

“Can wait,” you interrupt, flicking his lower lip with the tip of your tongue.

Armin shudders, reaching down to glide his hand over the swell of your breast, circling his thumb over the peak.

"You sure about this?" he whispers as he continues to rub affectionately, mindful of the noises bubbling in your throat.

You've never nodded so fast in your life.

Eventually the blonde turns his wrist, pointing his fingers down to your hips, before slipping his fingers under the waistband.

He whines when he realizes you’re already plenty wet.

“You, too, huh?” he weakly jokes about your states of arousal, but he bites his lip and slowly — slowly — circles your clit with his middle finger.

You gasp, dropping your head back.

He seizes the moment and dives in, peppering loving kisses to your neck.

The circles grow more certain.

Stronger.

“Just… wanted this first Christmas to mean something,” he murmurs against your neck, sucking at the skin and nipping gently.

You writhe against the sheets, moaning to the morning air.

“You deserve something good. I want to give you something… so good…”

“Armin,” you breathe, and you feel his lips curve to a smile against your lips.

“Come for me first,” he whispers, tightening the circles around your clit the way he’s grown to master. “Just once and I’ll take you downstairs, I promise.”

“What about — mmph — you?” you whine, bucking your hips into his hand.

You want to feel him, in every way imaginable.

You want him to feel good, too, but you can barely think straight.

His knee nudges under yours and pushes upward, forcing your right leg wider. Opening your folds to him, giving him direct access to what he wants.

"You said we had no plans, right?" Armin replies with gentle amusement.

His fingers speed up to make a point.

"By that definition, I can have you here for as long as I want."

"Armin."

Your back arches, desperate to rock against him with little shame.

"Maybe this is my gift. Hearing you say my name like that. I'll make up for all the times you had to take care of yourself while I was away. Then, and only when I think I've made you come enough, you can return the favor."

He lifts his head, keen on watching you come apart by his hand.

“I’m in no rush.”

“Armin—”

“I got you,” he interrupts, pressing a kiss to your lips to drown out your cries. “You’re doing so good for me.”

He doesn’t give up.

He’s so timid in so many aspects of his life, but after some trial and error in bed, this is the one place he’s certain.

Sure of himself.

He knows you, just like you know him.

And Armin won’t give up until he has you whimpering under him.

Your toes curl when that familiar pressure begins to build, and he doesn’t let up.

Doesn’t stop.

All he does is leave your lips to nip at your earlobe.

“You’re close already, aren’t you?”

He whispers in your ear, and you bite your lip to keep the noises down.

“Don’t hold back. I want to hear you.”

Stars burst.

Sometimes all it takes is Armin’s gift of words that sends you reeling, and soon you fall over the edge with a strangled moan of need.

He continues massaging your clit, slowing the speed but not quite letting up.

Not until you make that squeak of overstimulation.

Then he hums with happiness, and pulls his hand out of your pajama bottoms.

“Better?” he asks gently, using his other hand to gently run along your cheek. He licks his fingers clean, savoring the taste of you.

Spent, you nod with a lopsided smile.

“...I feel like you’re already spoiling me.”

“Oh, that’s hardly what I call spoiling,” he breathily admits, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “You okay?"

"More than," you promise.

"Good. C’mon, let’s go downstairs."

"I don't think I can feel my legs."

He chuckles, sitting up with a grin. "Then I'll carry you on my back. We'll make some fresh tea and enjoy the day before the rest show up.”

You leisurely follow, sitting up on your elbows.

When you hold out a hand for him to take, he pulls you up.

Forehead to forehead, he takes a pause to nuzzle them together, eyes slipping closed.

"Happy Christmas," he says.

"Happy Christmas to you, too, Commander." He snorts at the title. "If we’re going to start off every Christmas this way, I’m not gonna say no."

Armin’s grin only widens.

He turns his back to you at the edge of the bed, beckoning you to climb on.

Sleepily you oblige, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He turns his chin to kiss the tip of your nose, murmuring a promise in return:

“I’m open to starting new traditions, but only if they're with you.”

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renren-006 · 4 months ago

Text

FIGHTING FOR YOU

Reiner Braun x fem reader

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

plot: you are the one thing reiner is living for. he fights for you.

A/N: i finished all of AOT the other week and it was amazing! i had not seen the final season till this year and it was sooo good, especially the animation. anyways it reawakened my love for reiner! enjoy!

It wasn't hard for Reiner to find something to fight for when the war between Marley and Paradi started. It wasn't even hard for him to keep living once he knew what he was fighting for. What was hard for Reiner was not worrying the entire time if you were still alive or not. He was worried whenever he heard screams, hoping it wasn't you. He knew you were strong, that wasn't why he was worried, he just knew he couldn't live without you if you left him alone in this world. Reiners' entire world flipped upside down when he met you on this island.

Reiner was fourteen when he met you, still burdened with the guilt of what he and the others had done. You were thirteen and weighing the cost of joining the training camp. You knew you had to; there was something about fighting for the world that comforted you. You were short compared to Reiner, who you felt towered over you. Initially, that terrified you; the man was taller than you and built for a fourteen-year-old. You tried your best not to be caught under his gaze for a while, but that didn't help you out.

“You think it's fair?” he asked you. Sasaha was out running laps after the commandant caught her with extra food.

“Oh. Not really” you said shyly. “Sasha…she's just different; not really her fault that she couldn't hold back from eating that potato”

“Yeah, you got that right,” he said, laughing slightly beside you, making you smile.

“I'm not sure I've heard you laugh since we've been here,” you told him. He smiled down at you.

“Not sure I ever talked to you.” It was a pointed attack; you knew that.

“Yeah, that's my fault.” You scratched the back of your neck. “I got intimidated by how tall you are.”

“Really?” he said, “I'm not that scary”

“I can see that now,” you told him.

After that, it was common to see the two of you walking, talking, or training together. Bertold made jabs at Reiner whenever he could about it. Anne only smirked and kept eating. You could see the three interact, slowly putting the pieces of their friendship together. It took you a bit longer to understand that he was the Armored Titan.

The final piece came together when you saw the female titan that day after being put into the scouts with the others. You were riding with Armin when he appeared. You remember her looking at the two of you under your hoods and recognizing the eyes looking back at you. The events that followed and how Rreiner and Bertold acted made more and more sense.

“Oh my god” you whispered. You were standing next to Reiner in the trees, playing the events on a loop. Reiner glanced at you from the brand slightly above you.

“You alright?” he asked, squatting down to be at eye level with you. The two of you had become closer over the months of training and the secret romance you were building. You looked up at him, shocked. You knew no one else was around that could hear you when you told him.

“That's Anne.” You saw his face trying to hide the shock.

“Y/N,” he said cautiously. You shook your head, facing him, and were at a loss for words. “I'll explain everything to you tonight.”

Reiner's promise was kept, and everything about his life and why he was here was explained. He kept some information about the world and his home from you for your own safety, he said. You knew from the start there was something different about Reiner; maybe it wasn't his height after all that initially terrified you. Some part of you might have always known he was different, but perhaps that would not be a bad thing. At least not for now. Things for a while were good with the two of you, and Reiner did nothing that would make you think he didn't love you.

Reiner knew he messed up when he finally revealed himself to Eren. You remember standing behind Mikasa, hearing the entire conversation, and having the same thoughts run through your head. “Why Reiner? Why? Why now?” The day went by in a blur, the mission to save Eren, seeing Reiner titan form up close. There was a moment when it was just you two, the eyes of the titan were Reiners and they looked so deep into your soul. Bertold was watching the two of you, waiting for his moment to speak.

“He has something for you” he told you, your eyes fell to the colossal. He fished through his pocket and gave you a tin. “Open it later”

You nodded before looking back at Reiner and touching his titan's cheek. “I love you... I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation.” With that, you left his titan form and fell back with the others. Connie had your horse and let him go once you were back on. He didn't ask you about it; no one did. Completing the mission was the end goal.

There Reiner was again, watching the battle before him and the rage in Eren's eyes. He struggled for a moment, not sure what was happening. Maybe all was lost, and he needed to give up. It was the perfect time for you to land on his soldier and yell at him.

“Renier, fight!” you yelled. Those golden eyes landed on you, Reiner was watching the woman he loved fight not only for him but her home. “Goddamn it, Reiner” You punched the bit of armor on his cheek, and you looked angry at him. He smirked in the nape of his titan; you were his spark. Small tears were in her eyes; Reiners gut twisted, knowing you were still upset but wanted him to live regardless.

When all was over and Reiner was out of his titan body, he raced toward your figure, consoling a sad Gabby. She was smiling up at him.

The final battle raged on and all you could do was sit back and watch. Reiner refused to go anywhere near you, you stood watching on a roof as your fellow scouts fought for their life. You couldn't do it.

“Y/N Get up!” Jean yelled, and they all yelled. They needed you, and all you could offer was a choked sob. You had not opened the note yet, afraid of the content. It was in your breast pocket, burning a hole in your chest. Your heart hurt, and there Reiner was, golden eyes catching yours here and during the fight.

When it was all over, and you had jumped at the last moment to land the blow, you screamed. “I'm sorry”. Reiner knew you didn't want to; he knew in his heart that it was the consequence of being a soldier. Reiner took the blow.

After that, it was a blur.

Reiners only thought while he was healing, and half a man was you. Only you, his drive to fight, was for you. He would save you one day.

“Y/N,” Reiner yelled, running towards you and pulling you into his arms. You giggled slightly; under the circumstances, you shouldn't be so happy to be back in the armored arms. When you looked back up at Reiner, the world around you disappeared. It was only him, and it was only you that mattered to Reiner. The both of you looked older than you did when he left. His hair was shaggy, and his beard matched the maturing face he had. Your hair was (longer or shorter), but the color was still the same, making Reiner smile as he saw it with his own eyes. You looked like you had matured. Your eyes held the years of maturing and torment you faced. Reiner and yourself looked like new versions of yourself.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “You kept me going all these years. I know I betrayed you.”

“That doesn't matter now.” You told him to hold his face in yours. “None of that matters anymore.”

The world was in shambles, and you were happy you had at least the man you truly loved back with you.

*the letter (short but sweet; not sure Reiner is the type of guy to write out a whole letter about his feelings)*

Dear Y/N

I'm sorry. When I came to Eldia I didnt think about meeting a woman like you, I didn't think I would fall in love. I thought this island was just devils, but then I met you. You have given me purpose, a drive to live. I can't take you with me to Marley, I can't let them know my crimes of falling in love. I will never be ashamed that I fell in love with you.

Wait for me, Y/N. When I come back to Eldia I will find you and I will protect you. You are worth more than the world, Marley, and being a titan. You're my everything.

From,

Reiner

#reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun #aot reiner #attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot oc #shingeki no kyojin

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marsbutterfly · 1 year ago

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Final Mission - Remastered

Summary: The rumbling begins to close in on you and your friends. With very few choices remaining, you have to watch as Hanji makes a decision that will alter the course of your life forever.

a/n: hello hello!! So ever since part 3 part 1 came out, I decided to start working on rewriting my very first work, for Hanji and for Attack On Titan. This piece has always meant so much to me as it was written with lol sm grief? anyway, I know it's been a while but Hanji pls come back, the kids and I miss you babes.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: attack on titan season 4 part 3 (part 1) spoilers if you haven't watched it yet, angst, blood, established relationship, soulmate loss, a bit of resentment towards tbh everyone if you squint. | ao3 | wattpad | the original | wc: 3.3k

“You could break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you”

“I’m the one who brought everyone here. I killed my comrades to come this far. I’ll take responsibility for it all,” Hanji says, her hands trembling while grasping the thunder spears firmly, eyes filled with terror while a shallow breath fights to leave her lungs. The ground shakes beneath you and a chilling sensation courses down your spine.

You finally find the courage to turn around to face her as she approaches the group, words dying and being reborn in your throat as you struggle to find just the right thing to say, eventually landing on the bleakest yet most desperate request, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Her footsteps are heavy, contrasting clearly with those of the colossal titans as they march towards you. Her vision is focused on the young, blonde boy ahead of you and you can tell she is trying with all her might to avoid your eyes, afraid of the reaction you might have.

“Armin Arlert,” her voice is gentle, gentler than it has been in a while, almost as if the heavy burden of the world inside the walls has finally lifted from her shoulders and she could actually think straight, “I hereby designate you the 15th Commander of the Scout Regiment.”

The remainder of the words exchanged between the two of them simply echoes in your brain, going from one ear to the other, almost as if they were speaking sheer gibberish. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does. Why is she making him commander when she is still standing right there? Hopefully not for the reasons you are expecting, right? Your thoughts move a thousand times faster than the actual conversation flows.

Your eyes are fixated on the scenery before you, a mixture of feelings coursing through your veins and your heart feels like it has been missing a few beats as an intense void begins to creep from deep inside of you. The situation is not ideal: the colossal titans get closer by the second, the atmosphere becomes hotter with their steam clouding the air and an overwhelming feeling of despair grows in your chest.

You focus on the sound of her voice, the same sound that has brought you so much comfort in the most trying of times now makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Her face, which has always been your absolute favorite piece of art to ever exist, now contorted into a pained and saddened expression. In fact, it reminded of the way she looked when Erwin announced she would be taking over the Scouts in case he didn’t make it through Shiganshina.

You are finally pulled out of this trance once she begins to move again, this time towards Levi, confused and worrying eyes following her every move carefully as she moves across the brick bridge. From where you stand, you can see the black haired man tightening his left fist, the breeze hitting every so lightly, just barely enough for it to lift his hair and show you that he is sharing a quick glance with you before returning to Hanji.

“Hey, four-eyes,” he says. That’s the first time you have heard him call her those two words since she became commander. He had told you once before he did it out of respect, seeing that she was now his superior, so for him to say it now, in a moment like this, that is when the realization and truth of the moment finally began to dawn on you.

“You understand, right, Levi?” Her voice trembles in the slightest, in a manner that would be unnoticeable to anyone else but you and the man she is speaking to, “my turn has come at last.”

Hanji raises her hands, fingertips trembling and causing the thunder spears to shake, the sweat glistening on her face as her pupils twitch, it’s a sight you hoped to never see. She tries to play her nervousness off, “I’m giddy with the desire to make a supremely cool exit. Don’t stop what I’ve got going.”

For the first time, her eyes meet yours and you realize only then how many tears she was holding back, a quiet sob dying in your throat as you yelp, your body rejecting your brain’s commands to move, legs stuck in place and swallowing has never been this hard.

With a sigh, you hear those three words out of Levi’s mouth, the same words that are now only chanted by a ghost or a distant memory, “Dedicate your heart.” It feels like a punch to the stomach, air can no longer find its way inside your lungs and you choke on your own saliva, there is no denying what is about to happen anymore and the overwhelming sensation that there is nothing you can do to change it overwhelms you.

She smiles and lets out a gentle giggle, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that.”

Lastly, she makes her way towards you. The need for oxygen is intense but the very second that her gentle fingertips touch your face, the world seems to stop for a moment and every worry you have ever had dissipates into the feeling.

“I truly hope that you can forgive me one day,” she says and the tears that dangled from her eyes were finally allowed to fall. With a smirk on her lips, she blew on your face so that your hair would move from one spot to the other and the smell of her breath fills you with a sense of nostalgia and despair.

“Please don’t say that,” you whisper, bringing your body closer to hers, “you are the only family I have left. I don’t know where to go without you,” your voice trembles, your throat is as dry as the deserts you’ve heard Armin talk so much about. The tips of your fingers gently twirl a loose strand of hair that falls on her face.

Hanji turns her face at a precise 90 degree angle to look at Levi, a stoic expression on his face though his eyes tell you everything you need to know about his feelings. A tear runs down Hanji’s face, but only one as she won’t allow herself to fully break down until you are out of sight, “Will you take care of her for me?” He doesn’t respond with words, the only thing he does is nod his head in agreement.

Her eyes make their way back to you as she uses both of her hands to carefully cup your face, lips meeting yours with a desperation you had never seen before, almost as if she is trying to engrave you on her own body. Her tongue glides with yours for a couple of seconds and you feel the butterflies rising in your stomach as if it were the first time you have kissed her.

The moment couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds but it felt like forever and a day, your body nearly melting in contact with her touch. For a split moment, you forgot about the rumbling, about Eren, about the sacrifice she was about to make, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but this very moment the two of you share.

Everything feels ok for a little while, the warmth of her brown eyes reminds you of the many cups of tea you have shared in the barricades, the softness of her touch bringing up memories of times you’ve met under the apple tree in the courtyard, and the gentleness on her lips stirring butterflies in your stomach, much like the very first time you’d seen her.

However it does not last long. You are brought back to reality by the sound of her ODM gear going off, the hook gripping onto the wall and the cold feeling her lips leave behind. Hanji doesn’t give you enough time to stop her, she simply pulls away before you could even react.

She doesn’t say anything. In the years that passed since she became commander, Hanji had been preparing you for the inevitable moment when she passes away, when her turn to make a sacrifice to save your life would come. In that time, you let your guard down, you had convinced yourself something like that would never happen, not to the both of you.

Your eyes are fixated on her every move, every swing of her blade, every flicker of her cape, and there is nothing you can do. Frozen in place, you watch in horror as she manages to take down a few of the colossal titans on their path of destruction. It wasn’t enough. The engineers still need more time.

Trembling hands struggle to find a way onto your blades as a thought goes through your brain, “How can I help her?” By the time you manage to look back up, you catch a glance of a scene that could only be described as your worst nightmare: your beloved’s body, the person you’ve loved most for the past few years, catching on fire as a result of the bodily heat of the colossal titans.

Your heart sinks in your stomach and all you can do is scream. Your feet begin to move as you make up your mind to run and assist them but a pair of strong hands get a hold of your waist before you have time to move forward.

“Reiner, let me go,” you demand, in vain. No matter just how much you kick, or scream, or scratch him, his grip will not loosen and a sense of utter despair fills you. Your throat burns and your vision is blurred out by all the tears, your hands are shaking and there is nothing more you can do.

The last drop was the moment you caught a glimpse of her lifeless, burned to a crisp body falling from the sky like a meteor ready to destroy your life. You had no more fight left in you, no more strength remaining to try and free yourself from Reiner’s arms.

Something inside of your brain begins to slip away, was it your sanity? Or something more personal, like your spirit? No, this was a feeling you had encountered time and time again, expedition after expedition, titan kill after titan kill, hopelessness. Except this time, the feeling was a thousand times worse.

Without her, how would you be able to find Eren and stop the rumbling once and for all? Not only that, but for the first time, probably ever, you questioned her judgment, after all, how could Armin be commander? The boy who was chosen over Erwin, part of the reason why you found yourself in this situation in the first place.

No, there was no use in pointing fingers at each other. If in a situation like this, where life and death walked hand in hand, she chose him, then you would trust her judgment, even if you didn’t agree with it, even if you believed it to be the wrong choice.

Your eyelids grow heavier the closer you get to the plane, the tears have yet to stop running down your face and a full body spread of goosebumps has taken hold of your skin. You manage to take a deep breath before allowing your exhausted body to slip into unconsciousness and, for the last time, you hear her voice.

“I love you.”

The pounding sensation in your head is nearly too much to bear. You squint through closed eyes, slowly using whatever little strength you have left to raise your arm, shielding your face from the far too close sun rays. The atmosphere surrounding the area is so heavy you could cut it with a knife, but a determined Armin breaks free from the awkwardness. “Listen up,” he says, the confidence is his voice masking his true emotions, “Let’s go over the plan.”

Their voices are now a bit louder, the slight turbulence you come across every so often causes the plane to shake and every last bit of metal to scrape against one another. You can hear the sound of a pencil scribbling on the metal floor, but whether it is writing or drawing, you are unable to realize.

As the conversation goes by, your ears begin to ring and your mind can’t help but wonder how long it has been. You take your hand up to your chest, clutching tightly to the fabric that covers the area above your heart, it feels empty, like it has been broken in two and the pieces have been flung out into space.

Has it been seconds? Has it been days? No, while it feels like an eternity has passed, deep down you know that it has only been somewhere between fifteen to thirty minutes. Tears begin to pool up in your eyes once more, that emptiness eating away at your stomach while you choke down a desolate sob. You don’t want to draw attention towards yourself but yet somehow, you find yourself as the center of everyone’s concern.

For a while, no one dares to move, speak or even breathe. You can’t be bothered by their reactions or lack thereof, the pressure on your chest desperately needs to be released. The tears won’t stop flowing, air fails to enter your lungs as heavy hiccups erupt from deep within your soul. The void you feel could only be compared to a bottomless abyss, not knowing when it will end.

Once you have no more tears left, you try your best to use your arms to sit up, cursing yourself for being so weak in the face of such immediate danger. Footsteps approach you and a helping hand finds a comfortable spot on your lower back, gently assisting you in your attempt to sit. You don’t need to see the person’s face to know exactly who it is.

“Mikasa,” you say, not quite sure if it is a question or if anything else is going to follow.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, her voice is raspy and gentle, like she has been doing some crying of her own. You can’t help but smirk, not out of happiness, but because you know they all already have an idea of what your answer is going to be.

“It feels like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest and I had to watch as it burned,” you say and they all immediately understand that you are referring to the condition you were forced to leave Hanji’s body in. It is a stupid question but, for some reason, it does make the aching a tad bit more tolerable.

“Your hand is bleeding,” Armin points out in a serene voice as he walks towards you, his footsteps seem lighter than a feather in an attempt to not spook you away, as if you were a wild, injured little animal, “How did that happen?”

“I cut it,” You respond, dryly. Your lower lip quivers as you open your palm, revealing the smallest piece of green fabric. It is clear from the patter and the design that it came from one of the cloaks owned by the Survey Corps, no extra words are needed for all present to understand that it belonged to their fallen Commander. Though no one desires to talk about it, Reiner decides to take the fall.

“I may not have been so gentle when we were boarding the flying boat,” he says, using his left hand to scratch the back of his neck while the right one holds onto the rail above his head, “I’m sorry, y/n. I should have been more careful.”

You know what he is trying to do. It is clearly a lie and there is no denying any of it, but you appreciate his efforts to remove the attention from the sore subject. You purse your lips in what could be considered a small smile while quietly nodding your head.

“Would you mind if I took a look at it?” Armin asks, kneeling beside you while reaching his hand underneath your own. Perhaps he was right to treat you like a spooked animal, seeing as your immediate reaction was to move your hand far away from him, clinging onto the fabric for dear life as you push your body towards the back of the ship until you collide with the metal wall. “Please.” He begs.

“No,” you cower away, “This is the last part of me to have ever touched her. It doesn’t hurt, in fact, I can barely feel anything anymore.”

Once more he asks, “Please,” and you realize he isn't going to let the subject go. So before too much of your blood has a chance to soak the bit of cloth, you switch it towards your other hand, extending your injured arm until it touches the top of his thighs.

You whimper as a stream of clean water comes in contact with your open skin, dirt debris being washed away by the contents as best as possible. Your eyes never leave his face, the now 15th Commander of the Survey Corps taking care of you, your heart gets heavier the more you think of him in such a manner. His shoulders are slumped forward, as if there is a “not so fictional” weight on them. It doesn’t take long before he is finished bandaging you up.

“I am fully aware it is not the same but,” a masculine voice comes from the front half of the ship, “you still have us.”

Your eyes now meet Levi, whose crossed arms and stern face somehow brings you the slightest amount of comfort. With a helping hand from Connie, you make your way towards him, gently placing yourself between Pieck and the black-haired man, who ever so gently places a comforting hand behind your back. It is rare for him to demonstrate any sort of affection, so by the way his fingers feel against your clothes, you can nearly feel his own grief. Another lump forms in your throat, but you swallowed it this time.

“We’ll make sure that Hanji’s death wasn’t in vain,” Mikasa swears, false determination taking over her words, “We’ll return Eren into his old self, I know he is still in there somewhere, just waiting for us.”

Any sort of emotion gets drained from your face as you stare deep into her eyes, gray orbs looking deeply at you in hopes of any approval of her message. You raise your chin as you cross your legs, bringing your body forward, closer to her. You don’t want to be mean, nor do you want to make her feel like her attempt at comforting you fell into deaf ears, but all present right now know that what she has said is bullshit.

“Mikasa,” your voice is stern, “do you remember what Annie asked you once in the forest and then again after we attempted to communicate with Floch?” She doesn’t respond but, by the expression on her face, you realize that she knows exactly what you are talking about. With no indication that she plans on acknowledging the subject, you continue, “She asked you if you would ever be able to kill Eren.”

She looks away, gripping her knees tightly. “That won’t be necessary!” Armin says, the nervousness in his voice is palpable as he desperately tries to change the subject while still hoping to provide you with the comfort he knows you need at this moment.

You sigh before continuing, “I know you want to bring him back. I may know that better than anyone else at the moment. But I need you to listen closely as I tell you this,” Your voice is louder than the engines, the tears begin pooling in your eyes once more, you bring the small piece of Hanji’s cloak towards your chest, a determined expression on your face, “There is no bringing him back at this point. He has gone too far. Even if you did bring him back, the remaining world population would kill him with their bare hands.”

“Why are you saying all of this?” Someone asks, though your mind has become nothing but fog so you can’t quite tell whose voice it is at the moment. You take a deep breath, allowing the cold air to fill your burning lungs.

“Because no matter what you all say,” any emotion is drained from your voice, “my final mission is to kill Eren Yeager.”

“If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you”

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cilasbestos · 8 months ago

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A few months back I chose to write my final critical analysis paper in my written communications class on Attack on Titan. I would like to rewrite parts of it and then release the full thing, but for now I figured I would share the part I wrote for theme. The theme is chose to focus on for this paper was the cyclical nature of violence and how it is shown in the story. Please enjoy 😊 🙏

While Attack on Titan presents many themes throughout its run, one of the most prominent in the final season is on the cyclical nature of violence and how it does no good as it goes on. The war between Marley and Paradis has been going on for two thousand years, and the people alive in the world today have only known this war, not even having a true answer to what started the war to begin with. A great example of how the cycle of violence affects the people within it is again found in the character Gabi. A child soldier, Gabi has known nothing but the war her entire life. Because of the propaganda promoted by the country, she views the inhabitants of Paradis as inherently evil. This, combined with Eren’s attack on her home, are what lead her to climbing aboard the airship and killing a soldier. When she gets to Paradis and is imprisoned, she continues to act recklessly and even kills her guard to escape the prison. It is then she is mistaken for an orphan and taken in by none other than the parents of the girl she had killed. They have no knowledge of who she actually is, but are immediately willing to show her kindness and take her in. When they learn who she actually is, the family turns against her, and it is suggested that the soldier’s father kills her to balance out the death of his daughter. He refuses, though. He speaks of raising his daughter, teaching her to protect herself in the woods where they lived and raised her. Using the forest as a metaphor for the cycle of violence, he explains further. When she went off to join the military, she only traded her home for a bigger forest. She only died because she wandered in the forest for too long, staying in the army she was bound to die, but she knew no other life. Gabi has also been raised in the forest so to speak. She has grown up in this war and has known nothing but violence, which has led her to being in this situation at such a young age, having no experience to know any better. The father addresses the other adults around him, stating that as the adults, as the ones who know how to do better, it is their job to lead the lost children out of the forest, and show them the truth behind the violence they have always known. It is his words, his explanation and his willingness to accept her actions, as well as the acceptance of the rest of the family that leads Gabi to seeing the truth of the world. She realizes that Eldians are not inherently evil, and that neither of the perspectives she was fed are particularly correct. After this she becomes significantly less recklessly violent, and begins to actually fight for what she, not her country, thinks is right--an end to the war on both sides. The show not only focuses on the cyclical nature of war and its effects, but also encourages the idea of one day being able to escape it.

#attack on titan season 4 #attack on titan #aot #gabi braun #aot analysis

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cookies-over-yonder · 1 year ago

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"... In that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is."

The Close Family and Closure: An Analysis and Breakdown of Taylor's Issues in Hell or High Father

...and the way he addresses and, in Taylor fashion, downplays the problem, and denies its lack of solution.

(I have transcribed the majority of this scene, and below the cut is my line-by-line breakdown and analysis, as well as some other tid-bits.)

hello! ever since i got into dndads, taylor has been my favourite. i found his extreme escapism and dumb confidence fascinating, and as you may know, i love finding scenarios for him to break. it's, like, at least half of my fics at this point.

this episode is my favourite episode, it broke me, and it pieced me back together but Wrong in all the right ways.

this analysis is focusing on the taylor of it all. the motivation behind his words and the changes in his cadence and the denial that still, despite everything, refuses to fade.

i've never written an analysis post structured like this, so do let me know if you like it. i just... i really love taylor.

okay, let's go!

1. "Well...''

Nicky: … I didn't see a lot of Taylor's growing up and that was—that was fi—like we're cool now right, Taylor? Taylor: Fuck yeah dawg— Nicky: See?

to start off, taylor's instinctive answer is to agree with nicky. because well, yeah, they're chill now, that's true, so of course the first thing he does is agree. and i gotta say that i was expecting taylor to leave it at that, because he's not one to dig deeper when he doesn't need to, and even when he does.

Taylor: Well…

taylor says this immediately after his first answer and oh ny god i got SO excited. but this ain't about me. anyway. taylor finally admitting that they're actually not 100% cool is such a big fucking step argh i am so proud of him forever and also so sad for him forever...

Nicky: What? Look, I'm back now, and I'm super tight, and we hang out, and we can do samurai shit together, and we're fuckin'—we're tight as fuck.

this part makes me so sad because nicky is so ignorant to how his absence has affected taylor despite his frustrations at glenn for not being there. and also, this sort of reasoning would have worked on convincing taylor back in early season two. in fact, it did!

[Season 2 Episode 10: Dad Me To Hell]

taylor is completely satisfied with this reason because it feeds into his main character syndrome. his dad left to protect him. what better reason is there? and now he's back and there and able to do cool shit with him, so everything is perfect, right?

but the next thing taylor says is so fucking heartbreaking:

Taylor: If I'm gonna be honest, Dad, I've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time, and you could be there for me.

the way he trails off as he says it, and he loses his confidence in his words... it shows an unfamiliar shyness. we've never seen taylor be this vulnerable before. and to think that he'd been holding out hope for time travel magic to fix his childhood? that perfectly aligns with the idea that taylor is so stuck in his anime escapist fantasy that he can't accept what's real. and magic is real, so therefore he must be able to fix his past, right? it's not impossible for there to be time travel (see. end of season 1 + see. attack on titanic.) but taylor doesn't realize that this is something that can't be fixed so easily, even if that magic were available. he doesn't believe that this can't be fixed. more on this later.

Nicky: [grunts and falls] Uh… um… I didn't know you felt that way. Taylor: Yeah, you know, it's just, when I was practicing my jutsus I could have used some pointers. Nicky: Yeah, but like— Taylor: As a result, I've developed a number of very bad habits that I'm told are very hard to break. And, you know, just watching YouTube videos is not the same as having a dad who can fight.

in the past, taylor has used anime to cope with his absent father, and he relied on the fictional characters to bring him the same comfort a father might bring (this was mentioned by freddie in one of the teen talks and while i've been relistening i've yet to find it. do forgive me as i am merely mortal) while this isn't directly referring to that, i still feel it's worth mentioning, as taylor is confronting his own unhealthy coping mechanism and acknowledging that no, youtube videos aren't a replacement for a dad. he couldn't fill the absence of a father with anything else in his life no matter how hard he tried.

also, taylor is smart. he knows that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms or "bad habits" that he can't break and he knows that they're caused by nicky's absence. i just wonder how long he's been stewing over that, you know?

as shown earlier, when taylor first met nicky and found out why he wasn't there, he accepted it immediately, knowing it was the coolest reason for a father to be absent and only fueled his protagonism.

but now, taylor's confronting his own issues surrounding nicky, and explicitly addressing them to nicky.

*wipes a tear*

i'm so proud of him.

Nicky: Wha—I mean, if it's training you want, we can train you, and like, you see your grandpa there— Taylor: [sighs] It's too late. I needed to start when I was three to five years old like true ninja warriors.

there is something so cutting about the way taylor says it's too late. he's talking about training to be a ninja warrior on the surface, yes, but that's not it.

it's too late. it's too late for nicky to witness his upbringing. it's too late for taylor to grow up with a loving father figure. it's too late.

and taylor knows that, and he's saying it, but he's still masking it with it being about training to become a ninja when in reality it's so much more.

this is just one example of the way he downplays the issue. he zeroes in on just one aspect of his life that nicky wasn't a part of, and speaks as if it's the main issue, when really it's only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Nicky: Oh, well, I mean— Taylor: So I'm already trying to play catch-up a little bit, but you know, I guess it's water under the bridge. But you know, if there is time travel magic, then you know, maybe, or if you find it, you could maybe… pick me up on the way back… to the past, and you know maybe we could do childhood all over again.

taylor is playing catch-up with training, but he's also playing catch-up with having a father in his life.

and again, he downplays it, says it's water under the bridge, when it's so very clear how deeply this has been affecting him his entire life.

and to top it all off, he brings up time travel again. and the way he says this is so un-taylorlike it's jarring. the uncertainty of the maybes, the trailing off, the voice so quiet you almost can't hear it...

he thinks there's still a chance to redo it and fix things, but i feel that deep down he knows it's impossible, that it doesn't work like that, and yet he's still grasping at straws to try and make things better.

it's... it's really sad. i feel really sad for him.

and the way he says he wants to redo childhood. as opposed to only talking about training, here he actually says he wants to do childhood all over again, and it's so, so quiet. and taylor is never shy. it's so clear how badly he's hurting over this.

god. okay.

2. "I didn't even know where you were."

Glenn: So we're cool. Nicky: So, we're cool. Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicky: We're just three cool guys. Taylor: Well…

i love how taylor isn't backing down on the fact that nicky fucked him up. like the gates are open and they can't close back up that easily. he's not accepting them just being three cool guys.

Taylor: Well, I'm just saying—you know, I could have, y'know—not to put too fine a point on it, but Dad, I would have appreciated if, you know… I didn't even know where you were. I 23&me-d my ass, and they sent me a picture of fire, and the cops showed up! There was a white van parked outside of our house for three years!

again, i really notice the change in the way taylor speaks, he's more unsure, quieter, and uses more filler words (such as "y'know"), and it feels as if he feels bad about making nicky confront his faults as a father but he's pushing through it anyway, because he has to.

and i absolutely love the throwback to episode ONE with the 23&me test! like this had been brewing from the start! i just think it's fantastic for it all to build up to this. like yeah. taylor didn't know WHO nicky was or WHERE nicky was and trying to figure it out only led to more danger for him.

Nicky: [gets on one knee and puts his hand on Taylor's shoulder] I guess I never got to properly apologize to you, did I?

Taylor: Well, an apology won't really turn back time, and I don't know how I feel—I would rather have the time travel magic.

this is so cutting. like, yeah, an apology won't cut it, and taylor immediately circles back to time travel magic, as if it could fix what's broken when it really, really can't.

i also find the trend of time when it comes to the close boys to be very fascinating. glenn got locked up in time prison, nicky's childhood was split into two timelines, and taylor thinks time travel can fix his broken relationship with his father?

god damn.

Nicky: Well, I didn't even get to explain—I was in Hell. I was worried that these fuckers [pointing at the other kiddads]— Taylor: Yeah, those fuckers. Nicky: —would have chased after me if I'd gotten out of hell. Taylor: So you're telling me that these fuckers kept you away from me all these years? Nicky: Yeah, you know what? It was these motherfuckers! They are the reason I didn't get to spend time with you because they betrayed me! Taylor: That makes sense; I just saw the memory! Yeah, yeah!

thinking about how taylor immediately agrees with nicky in blaming the others for his absence, because, well, yeah, shit's complicated and they are definitely part of the reason, but the fact that taylor is so on board of whole heartedly blaming them after chewing into his dad about not being there is just so sad. like yeah, of course he doesn't want to be upset at nicky. and it hurts so much that he is.

god.

oh my god.

okay, now, i didn't transcribe the entirety of taylor's memory, i actually summarized it and quoted some key aspects of it, so here:

Taylor's first belt ceremony. He's performing, and he finishes, and he bows, and he looks up. His mom is there. He's sniffling a bit and Cass asks him if he's okay and comments on how he moved all the way up to green belt, and he says he knows. He looks over to the kid who was supposed to get green belt but didn't because of him. The kid is whining, and then his dad comes in and gives him a big hug and—

"It's okay son, I saw how hard you worked, and in my eyes, you're a black belt. Come on, let's get ice cream."

The kid says thanks and they hug and then they leave and Taylor watches them leaving through the window and sees the child and father and mother smiling together. Taylor looks down at and then throws away his green belt.

"I think I'm done with karate."

Taylor gets kicked out.

that line that the father said to his child really hit me, because taylor never heard nicky say that to him. ever. and that was all that he wanted, really. like, "i saw how hard you worked," as in, i was there, watching you, practicing with you, supporting you, i saw you, i see you, i'm here, i'm here with you. and "in my eyes, you're a black belt," in my eyes, you've worked so hard, in my eyes, you deserve more than what you got, in my eyes, you're strong, in my eyes, you're capable.

things nicky never saw, and things nicky never told him.

and then, well, taylor quits.

a memory defining taylor's relationship with nicky. a memory where he wasn't there. a memory where he didn't see taylor's growth. a memory where taylor gave up on an ambition. a memory of absence.

anyways.

Nicky: I'm really sorry— Taylor: I'm kind of sensing a pattern here to be honest. Nicky: Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe the things that your granddad did, I do now. I'm thinking maybe I fucked up in the exact same way… Taylor: [lays a hand on Nicky] I think you fucked up in the same way too. Nicky: Okay. Well that's good. That's good for us.

god. oh my god. the fuckign pattern. i'm so sorry this part makes me lose my coherency all i can think of is how sad it makes me idk idk guys im sorry. you get it. taylor saying yeah you fucked up in the same way and nicky learning that and accepting it. oh my fucking god. like. i dont know theres something about the acceptance of it that really gets me. at the start of the conversation nicky denied it, and here he is, after seeing a memory of taylor doing something he wasn't there for, and now he's like yeah, yeah. i did fuck up royally.

3. "...there is no fixing this."

Glenn: What if we started over? What if we tried to kinda give it a little bit of a reset, and try and make some new memories together, as this sort of team of three? What do you think about that? Is it stupid? I dunno.

Nicky: What kinda memories are you talking about?

Glenn: Well I was thinking we all go to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and start everything off on the right foot! It's been so long since I've been to Disneyland, and, I dunno, let me show you all the secrets. Let me show you all the hidden Mickeys. I never got to show Taylor how to get over nine-hundred-thousand points on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And you! Nick, I never showed you the secret entrance into Club 33 that only I know about, and it requires you to go through the sewers a little bit.

I mean, what do you say? Maybe we can do something about this whole fucked up Close family. Maybe we could bring it on back a little bit. What do you guys think?

Nicky: Yeah, sure, yeah I mean, I like Disneyland as much as the next guy. What do you think Taylor?

Taylor: What's Disneyland? I don't understand, what's Disneyland?

now listen, i know that taylor not knowing what disneyland is was just because of the whole doodlerized world thing, but i feel like it also really highlights the disconnect here. like, glenn wasn't around much in nick's life but they knew each other and yes glenn went to disneyland without nick a lot and yes nick liked universal better and if i got into their relationship it would take far too long and i don't feel particularly equipped to tackle that which is why i'm focusing on taylor, but i think that taylor asking what disneyland is highlights the disconnect between him and nicky. nicky and glenn are talking about something that taylor is completely lost on, and to me it really shows the disconnect between all of them. first off, nicky likes universal studios better than disney, second of all, taylor doesn't even know what disneyland is. they grew up in different realms, and they grew up around different people, and nicky was never there, which means there's so much taylor knows that nicky doesn't, and so much nicky knows that taylor doesn't and so much of that knowledge and those experiences can never or will never be shared.

Nicky: Oh yeah, good point, I guess it's on a previously Doodlerized world now with a bunch of really fucked up shit in it.

Glenn: I'm just saying that like—give me a chance. Give me a chance to try and make up for all the—well—you know what? No, no, no, no, no, I can't make up for any of that stuff.

it's true. this solution is like putting icing on top of an overdone cupcake. temporarily sweet but it's still bitter and burnt. (i'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, i don't bake.) but like when you burn something you can't just. un-burn it. sure you can put icing and sprinkles and all the fun stuff and maybe you can wash out the taste but that doesn't change the state of what's underneath.

that's their relationship to me.

Anthony: As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks, and in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is.

ah yes, finally, we reach the end.

this is what their relationship is. it's comprised of missing connections and missed experiences and misplaced memories and absences and longing and searching and finding one another only for it to be too late. it is comprised of absence as opposed to love or hate or anything in between. the nothingness that is absence is their relationship

how depressing.

if i'm honest, i think nicky still has a chance. obviously he can't fix anything with taylor, but i really do hope that he tries to be proactive in taking part in taylor's life from here on out, that is, if taylor even survives this next episode, oooh scary.... hahaha anyways.

i hope everyone enjoyed this essay! i started writing it the day the episode came out but schoolwork kinda took over me.

i wanted to get it out before this episode's teen talk so that's why i finished it tonight, but i may reblog with more thoughts, who knows! we'll see! :3c

i do also encourage you guys to check out my art for this episode specifically inspired by that last anthony quote there.

and of course my thoughts are not the objective truth, i am a mere university student, ignoring my school essays to write one for tumblr <3

bye-bye! <3 :3c

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndaddies #hell and high father #dndads analysis #analysis #cookies analyses #cookies rambles <3 #taylor swift dndads #glenn close #nicky foster #nick close #nicholas foster #cookies writes and cookies wrongs

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cosmicjoke · 1 year ago

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I just wanted to say one more time how incredible, not just this final episode of Attack on Titan was, but the previous special, and truly, all of MAPPA's fourth season. The weight with which they handled this story, the seriousness with which they treated it, shows in every frame, in every moment. The voice work from the actors is second to none, and helped bring these characters to life with incredible emotion and complexity. The animators, being overworked and underpaid, put their hearts and souls into this, you can tell, as did the writers and directors. I really can't thank everyone enough.

They captured the drama and seriousness of this story to such perfection, as did WIT when it was the studio behind this show, and together, they've created what, I again say, is the greatest show of all time, bringing one of the greatest stories of all time miraculously to life.

They never handled the material with anything less than the respect it always deserved. One isn't watching a cartoon when they watch this show. One is watching a piece of dramatic cinema worthy of any award celebrating the craft. I really do mean that.

I felt that especially culminated with these final two episodes, which felt more like a genuine event, a cultural moment unfolding before us, than a simple episode of a tv show. These final two specials felt momentous and grand and epic in their scale and scope, and in the emotions they conveyed and the messages they imparted. Attack on Titan is a serious piece of art. Both the manga and the anime. It's a culturally important, and significant piece of culture.

I've come to care so deeply for all of these characters, to regard them as so much a part of my life, that their pain became my pain, their happiness became my happiness, their grief and sense of loss was also in my heart. Watching Armin and Eren speak to each other one last time, watching Mikasa and Eren, watching them hug, and then after, watching them cry and scream at the grief of losing him, all of that was like experiencing a real life friend go through all the same. Watching Jean's and Connie's courage and stubbornness, watching Pieck and Annie and Reiner put aside their differences to work with everyone for the right thing, watching Levi giving every last ounce of what he had left to fight alongside all of them and save humanity, all of it has left an indelible mark on me that I won't ever forget. These characters have become real to me. I care about them like I would a real person. Their story became real to me. When Armin says at the end, people will want to know our story, they'll want to know what we saw, that's real to me. Their struggle, their suffering, their loses, their lives, it's real to me. It means as much to me as any, real life story of heroism, because it's such a realistic reflection of our condition as human beings. It can relate to all of our lives, all of our struggles, all of our grief and loss and hope.

So, thank you MAPPA, and thank you Hajime Isayayam, and thank you Eren and Mikasa and Armin, thank you Levi and Hange and Erwin, thank you Jean and Connie and Sasha, thank you Reiner and Annie and Pieck. Thank you all of you, for bringing so much of worth into our lives. Your story has the power to change the world for the better, to change people for the better, and nothing is worth more than that.

#attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #connie springer #reiner braun #annie leonhart #pieck finger #Levi Ackerman #hange zoë #Erwin Smith #the final season #MAPPA #WIT

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 7 months ago

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Nisha, did you know I would step on some legos barefooted for you? Anyways can’t wait to read for another fandom I have never stepped foot in and would probably never engage with the canon in just because you decided that’s what to make, and I’ve decided to read it anyways. Home cooked meal. -Rotten Anon

The opening line of this message made literal cartoon anime hearts appear above my head, just so you know <3

Also you have inspired me to post a rundown of my WIPs because I am really excited about what I have been working on. And for two of these fandoms, I know you have said you know nothing about the canon, but for the third, I am not sure, so we'll see.

My Current WIPs April/May 2024

Heaven's Gate (for The Walking Dead) - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Soulmates/Lovers Reunited. Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 1 to Season 5. 17k in counting (will be a oneshot). You can find a preview here. In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the Governor attacks the prison, and though you both believe the other person is dead (or long gone) you find each other at the most unlikely time, in the most unlikely place.

I am super excited about this fic, and the themes of hope that I have woven into it. Because yes, I unironically love writing about hope and how the human spirit can persevere - which is something that my favourite moments in The Walking Dead show. This is first draft complete and just needs to be edited.

The Jaws of Life (for DC Titans) - Jason Todd x GN!Reader. Sequel to Emergency Contact. Lovers Reunited. Extreme Angst, Smut, Hurt and (some) Comfort. Set during Season 3. 21k in counting (will probably be a oneshot - if it needs to be split up, it will be put in two parts, but I hope I can get away with a oneshot). (I highly recommend that everyone go read the original in the meantime, because it is one of my best fics ever.) In this fic, you and Jason struggle with the new meaning of your relationship after what happened with Deathstroke - only for this tentative change to be harshly disrupted by the Joker. And you're still heavily mourning when a red hooded stranger breaks into your apartment one night, seeking medical care because apparently - you owe him one.

Everyone give Jaycen @nctzenkane a big fucking round of applause for this one, because he was randomly talking to me about Jason Todd today (we were having the 'some characters are only fuckable in costume' discussion) - and I got talking about how this version of Jason from Titans makes me so passionate to write about the character. And it is solely because of him that I opened up this fic and took a good look at it - I have been thinking about this fic for months, wanting to finish it because I know I am gonna be proud of it, but I kept hesitating because I thought I had a way bigger mountain to conquer with it. But the conversation I had with Jaycen really inspired me and I wrote 5k on the fic just today, and I realized that with this momentum, I could have the first draft done by the end of this month. So I am promising myself that this is gonna be done soon.

Speaking of which - when The Jaws of Life is first draft done, I wanna host a poll so you guys can decide which of those two ^^ fics goes through the editing process to be posted first. Both will be posted (hopefully) by the end of May, but I do wanna know which one you guys wanna see posted first. Which leads me to:

Nasty (for Stranger Things) - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. 3k (this is gonna be a shorter fic lmao). In this fic, you and Eddie have been dating for a while, but you don't like that all of his attempts to have sex with you have him taking on a (seemingly fake) dom persona. When you finally tell him that you prefer to be more dominant in bed, he isn't disgusted like you thought he might be - he loves it.

This is one I have been sitting on for a while, and right before it was ready to be posted - my brain lost interest in it like tiktok does micro trends. But I think this is gonna be really great to post while the poll for those other fics is cooking because it's short and sweet and for the past few days, whenever I have seen the cover for this in my drafts, I have gotten excited about it again. So I am excited to finish it and show it off to everyone!!

#rotten anon #anonymous #sundrop answers #curren wips #wips #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #jason todd x reader #dc titans #eddie munson x reader #stranger things

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sundrop-writes · 7 months ago

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I haven't been feeling very well over the past few days, but just so you guys know, I do have big plans for stuff coming up soon. In case you haven't checked the 'Coming Soon' part of my pinned (which, not enough people do lmao) - then here is a list of my WIPs.

I am finishing up the last 20% of The Jaws of Life (well, I will be when I'm not feeling like utter shit), and then I'm gonna post a poll to decide which of the two bigger fics (Heaven's Gate and The Jaws of Life) should be edited and posted first. While that poll is working, I'm gonna finish and post the Eddie fic (Nasty).

So definitely get excited!!!

Heaven’s Gate (for The Walking Dead) - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Soulmates/Lovers Reunited. Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 1 to Season 5. 17k in counting. You can find a preview here. In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the Governor attacks the prison, and though you both believe the other person is dead (or long gone) you find each other at the most unlikely time, in the most unlikely place.

The Jaws of Life (for DC Titans) - Jason Todd x GN!Reader. Sequel to Emergency Contact. Lovers Reunited. Extreme Angst, Smut, Hurt and (some) Comfort. Set during Season 3. 21k in counting. In this fic, you and Jason struggle with the new meaning of your relationship after what happened with Deathstroke - only for this tentative change to be harshly disrupted by the Joker. And you’re still heavily mourning when a red hooded stranger breaks into your apartment one night, seeking medical care because apparently - you owe him one.

Nasty (for Stranger Things) - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. 3k in counting. In this fic, you and Eddie have been dating for a while, but you don’t like that all of his attempts to have sex with you have him taking on a (seemingly fake) dom persona. When you finally tell him that you prefer to be more dominant in bed, he isn’t disgusted like you thought he might be - he loves it.

#current wips #sundrop speaks #update #daryl dixon x reader #jason todd x reader #eddie munson x reader

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ladythornofrivia · 1 year ago

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song bird

Pair: Reiner x Reader

Warnings: Smut. Reiner being a flirtatious bad boy—popular with the ladies—cute fluff. Flirting. Flirtation at Reiner’s part. Fluff at first, angst and smut come later. Spice is nice. Mentions of serious topics and more. And serious flashbacks from season 1 in Reiner’s POV. MDNI, NSFW.

A/N: Other than Levi, my other favorite character is Reiner. He kinda grew on me since season 4 of Attack on Titan, and I’m not going to lie, he’s gotten hotter. So does Eren with long hair. But overall, every anime character is hot—Like Toji and Gojo. That’s all I’ve got to say on that. I just realized I got sidetrack. Aside from Levi and Eren, Reiner got hot. Really hot, and has great character development. Please enjoy this fanfic. :) I’m sorry that it’s long. Reader’s singing is inspired from me listening to Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. For Reiner fans, this one’s for you.

(Please report if anyone decides to steal/plagiarize my work and notify me. Thank you.)

Chapter One

Angel in the Gardens

Next Chapter

In the year of 854, things haven’t changed anything in Marley except Reiner. Although the change in Marley is a little more advance than the last time he resided before the mission. In his younger years, he was assure of himself, life is impossible with the life of prosperity with his family and relatives, and with his Armored Titan powers, anything is possible that could be reach, even his dreams beyond.

But now, with the retaliation and Eren’s endless cycle of hatred in his heart, Reiner wouldn’t and couldn’t blame him. As he came back, the rose-tainted windows shattered, and its colors wilted to stale and darkened. Everything he dreamt of, of being a hero, was his fault.

His mission with Zeke was no challenge; he has done this—entirely trained this since he was a young boy, born with an Eldian mother and a Marleyan father. Most of his childhood has brought up by his mother, his father was absent, even when encountering his father, he felt a struck of shame clutching and became a heavy heart. Reiner up skill his knowledge and agility in the military. He could recall the rain—drenched and heavy, carrying a loaded weapon in his arms as he ran to keep up the running course.

Realizing he has no childhood to conjure, only the days of the preparation for the upcoming years to hold his reputation. His days on being the candidate to inherit Armored Titan sounded like a victory. All the gatherers and onlookers at the parade, showering the Warriors with celebration. Reiner waved before the crowd, unknowingly what lies ahead. Everything was simple for him. Except now, it felt like a feverish dream, a good one, perhaps, but—maybe it wasn’t so. As soon as he got older, his young mind refined into a conclusion that inheriting a Titan power was nothing but an extreme burden.

For years he fought, he felt pain at first, but he has become immune, so immune he hasn’t realized he has two personalities—as a role of a soldier and a warrior.

What has become of Reiner, if not besides as a potential and a born-product for Marley’s representation of strength?

Was he even born to be as himself in the first place?

He had a moment, whether it’s up for him to still continue. Until now, he’s still breathing with a coursing veins with a thirteen-year curse.

What then if he hadn’t survived from Paradis? Power of Armored Titan will, no doubt, pass onto someone else has greater potential than Reiner. Yet, somehow, he’s still here, alive, in the flesh, not as a pure ghost. Though he maybe because his lively soul went numb.

Zeke has done it’s final job on the mission at Fort Slava, and led them to go home happily, reuniting with his family. He hasn’t said much to his mother other than a simple greeting. And when his relatives came and chat, when his uncle asked him regarding to Paradis, Reiner could describe anything but negative—the negativity lacks, but kept uttering. Some were shocked at Reiner’s statement of the potato girl. Each day has begun a turmoil in his mind. In sleepless nights, he tried to drown out the sounds of screams and cries and treachery. Each time he closes his eyes, white flashes overtaken, his memories of the greatest fighters and soldiers in Paradis—the Ackermans.

Then Eren’s toothy smile went into scorching rage.

He’d never forget the look on Eren’s face when Reiner unveiled his injured and regenerated.

The twist of nightmares felt real. Maybe because they are. Reiner couldn’t handle nightmares. People who thought of nightmares as useless dreams have a heart of steel. He hasn’t told a soul since he returned.

His mind snapped. And his heart thumped.

There’s one thing Reiner wouldn’t erase.

You.

He remembered you. He could still hear the sound of your voice calling to him, singing to him, lull him to sleep each time he came by and conversed with you. With rising daylight and glowing moonlight, he yearned to stay by your side forever.

Did he have to leave you for good? He couldn’t bear a hurtful look on your face, and the battle between Paradis and Marley couldn’t contain countless emotions running through him. Reiner was a coward, not knowing what to say to you. Or perhaps he’s afraid because he knows what your reaction and words are going to be. He soon to be longing for your touch, your voice. Your voice resonated him, as if he’s lost into a trance, lost his goal and objective and drowned into your arms and a song adorned upon your smiling face.

Then he tried to hum the tune, but couldn’t replicate it; he wasn’t a good singer. Hearing your laughter after him attempting to tune your voice, he find himself laughing soon after.

Realizing you’re not here, Reiner’s tear drops fell.

He wished to see you again. But how will he? If he attempts to be a deserter, it’s a final sentence for him.

He wouldn’t care.

Deep down, he’d rather stay with you, run away with you, from Eldians and Marleyans and live in another deserted island to start anew. No more playing soldier or a servant to his homeland.

His tears drowned in pillow sheets as his somber eyes replaced his vision with darkness and listless dreams.

Anything would be better than life’s silence in Marley.

~~~

~Year 850~

Fierce concentration due to training has been difficult for a young Warrior. Reiner, along with his companions, Bertholdt and Annie, came into Paradis for one thing. The Founding Titan. With the possession of the Founding Titan, it could end the lives of their enemies in Paradis for good. War hasn’t been kind to them since the day they took their first breath as their sworn oath. They took the mission without question; they—three Warriors—must contribute to their land, Marley.

For the greater good, they all said.

And hoped—prayed, even.

Reiner had countless doubts in his mind, despite his chosen status as a Warrior. Until Bertholdt told him that there are other things need to be occupied. Their infiltration was a success on their part, but seeing thousands—possibly hundred thousands of civilians in Paradis were at their swift end. Many mourned and fought. Others, fought against their livelihood, whether they want to fight or struggle.

He could hear their screams—their agonies, hate and cries every night since the first time he and his friends came. Everything was in shambles, and the crowd grew wilder with food supplies and good shelter during difficult hours. Adults starved themselves to feed their children with good consumable bread, sometimes with a bit of cheese and dairy to drain while others kept the food and space to themselves—all cramped with melancholic and upsetting atmosphere. Shortcomings went by when the meat supplies are strictly limited, and the law abide the rule to eliminate several folks after their failed years of attempting to crop and grow rations in the stubborn and dry field. Whether rain or shine, nothing prevail. They all kept trying until they found themselves exhausted and drowning in further to despair and anger.

This wasn’t the life people wanted. They wanted a lifelong prosperity and their properties to be in order. Even if it means to be locked away in a 60 meter wall from Titans.

Marley’s guidance to the future Warriors must be advanced and clever if it means for the predecessors to amplify the example of becoming a greater threat that contributes to annihilate the history’s nightmares. A spark of evolution, an ignited ideals and source of persuasion of the Marley lands to set the world rock to the core.

Paradis, on the other hand, hadn’t set the world alight. Paradis was as quiet as a tomb—untouched.

Once.

It was once pristine and silent, surrounded by trees and animals and mountains and quiet lakes.

A newly world from theirs—Reiner’s, Annie’s and Bertholdt’s.

A newly world to which they must merge as one of them.

~~~

Wearing a uniform and staying motionless under a torrid weather was a torture.

Commander Shadis kept an eye to the new coming trainees—104th Training Corps. With wide eyes fatigued and a bald head is enough to scare others. Not Reiner, though. Gladly, he doesn’t need to do the introductions. So does Annie and Bertholdt. The grim look in their eyes says it all.

The only Reiner is amused of is when the girl was eating a hot potato in her hand. Though at the end of the day, she was punished to run for hours until evening. Supper between trainees was another thing Reiner had to attend like the rest. Though his attention wasn’t on him; but his heart pounded when a boy with teal eyes and brown hair mentioned of the Titans that attacked and destroyed Shiganshina. A boy named Eren Yeager described their appearances. It was vague, but, Reiner knew what Eren meant. Maintaining his reaction, Reiner kept sipping his drink in stilled and calm pace, watching everyone being so oddly fascinated with Eren’s story until the rivalry with another boy, decided to jump in and argue. They somewhat reminded Reiner of his chaotic niece, Gabi, along with her friends, Falco and Udo and Zofia.

Like Gabi, Jean and Eren are a bunch of rowdy brats, fighting for power, and their perspectives are vastly opposites. One wants to be in a Military Police Brigade and the other wants to face the Titans alone, as if Eren’s destined to destroy every last one of the gigantic creatures.

As soon as Reiner finished his drink, he went up for a goodnight’s sleep. A soft yelp came below him. His golden eyes looked down and saw a young girl collapsed on the floor.

Abashed, Reiner held his hand outward as his height crouched down to the girl’s level.

“Sorry, little lady,” Reiner said with a smirk. “I didn’t watch where I’m going, but I didn’t mean to hurt a pretty lady like yourself.” He sent a wink at her direction.

“Th-that’s no problem,” she said, blushing, unable to return the gaze. She got up and went beside her friends, who are giggling at Reiner’s charm. One friend slapped her hand at the blushing girl’s back shoulder.

He smirked as he watched them afar until completely out of sight with a fold on his arms. Until a heavy hand fell onto Reiner’s shoulder blade.

“Remember what we came here for,” Bertholdt reminded, then moved past Reiner.

Annie hasn’t looked at Reiner’s direction, focusing in her own world.

And that Reiner��s mind recollected regarding to the real reason and obtained a lifelong achievement to an acknowledgement not only for himself but the safety of his family.

Marley.

In the land of Marley, Reiner must always remember two things: knowing one’s place, and the line of betrayal and trust must never to be cross.

~~~

Eren had the most difficult time with the gear strapped to his trousers. Shadis kept yelling at him, while the trainees snickered at his attempts to pass the test. He fell down clumsily again. Stuck like glue. Reiner, on the other hand, thought he has given enough lesson for Eren to pass with flying colors. Needless to say, today wasn’t going well in his favor.

He shouldn’t worried about Eren’s intentions, right? If he fails, he wouldn’t have an insignificance of him discovering their secret. Seeing Eren’s determination and fury against the Titans would mean one thing—revenge against who’s the main responsibility of Shiganshina’s Fall. A dead end. Reiner’s ability to shift had him on edge. Bertholdt noticed this, but said nothing; comforting and reminding Reiner in public, or even an air of whisper will cause suspicion from the outsiders of Marley.

“Wagner, give him the belt,” Shadis commanded.

“Y-yes!” Wagner complied.

By the end, Shadis concluded that Eren’s gear belt is broken. And the trainees were shocked at Eren’s ability to balance while his gear was broken and uncooperative that led him to failure in the first place. Eren went from failure to success. He’s going to defeat the Titans. Mikasa was relieved for Eren, and Armin believed in Eren. Reiner was stunned.

Eren’s revenge will proceed.

~~~

In most days, the trainees went onto the next step: using the Maneuver gear. Though this one dark day, they trained under the rain, carrying loaded bags while everyone, even Reiner, overheard Shadis shouting, lecturing over Armin’s slow pace. Reiner went over Armin’s side and slung Armin’s bag over Reiner’s shoulder. Albeit Armin retrieved it back and ran farther.

The people in training, his newfound friends, called Reiner the big brother—helpful and kind to everyone. But he wasn’t a big brother when it comes to girls’ side. He’s just as charming when he’s helping them unloading heavy items. And even encourage them during the one-on-one fight. Every girl had their hair covered their flustered eyes and smile. Each wink and touch he gave sent them flinging with squeals. Some boys were jealous because the girls they had a crush on were focused on Reiner.

Though Reiner had benefits of gaining admiration; to keep under and away from suspicions.

During supper, Eren and Jean argued again. Reiner grew tired of it. So he quickly eat his meal before bedtime. But the people before him took long to exit—filled with chatter about anything that’s unrelated to him.

Looking for another exit, he went at the right door, but cold darkness greeted him. The long night has caressed him with soft wind as he stepped out. Moonlight shone above the heavy pine wood trees. Exhaling, he watched the others saying goodnight to each other. The smoke-scent wafted through his nostrils, as he spotted the flames flickering.

Their life is different, after all. Using candles and fire and torches is an obvious, clear sign that island of Paradis is way far behind from the rest of the outside world. Hence the walls they built and buried themselves in for security and comfort from the hungry eyes and teeth from gigantic creatures.

In resolute state, Reiner marched onward onto the clear path, while pebbles crushed beneath his steps, ready to repose for tomorrow’s another course on defense.

But the noise shot nearby at his left direction. He stopped and inspected the crowded scenery. Only a few left, but all face at the opposite direction. A chance for Reiner to sneak into the forest. But with the Maneuver gear, his doom will come sooner than later. Though he entered in the forest, but not too far deep in.

Through the gusted wind, a melody entered.

Reiner was sure he wasn’t dreaming, he went in a little further, shoving the tree branches aside. A soothing melody came once more. His eyes fluttered, then shut. He took the song with him like the air he breathes. His legs numbed as he swayed.

Who’s voice was that? Reiner thought. Am I…dreaming?

“REINER!”

Behind him, the violent rustling from bushes became louder.

“What the hell are you doing there? The titans, remember? Without a defense weapon, you’d be dead!” Bertholdt lectured.

“I just thought…”

Bertholdt’s head tilted to the side. “Thought..?”

“Nothing, I thought I heard a deer coming by,” he lied.

“Everyone’s sleeping at this hour. We shouldn’t be waste anymore time than this.”

As they progressed into the clearing area, the grounds were completely empty.

“What’s up with you today?” Bertholdt scolded.

“Nothing,” Reiner replied. “Nothing at all. I’m just…bored. I don’t want to stand outside.”

Bertholdt sighed, hands behind his head. “Just don’t get carried away with the girls, alright? If you get too close to one of them, you’ll soon forget you-know-what. We’re here for one thing. And one thing only. It’s for the sake of—”

Reiner nudged Bertholdt with his elbow roughly. “Don’t say it, you idiot! People are still here! They could be hiding for all we know!”

They soon stopped at their mid-walk, found out that the boys were sneaking out from their cabins, based on their mood and direction they came from. Reiner greeted the boys goodnight before rushing into their cabins before taking a slight jog.

“Sorry, you’re not in a right mind,” Bertholdt remarked. “That’s why I’m here as your reminder. If you’re here alone, you’re doomed. And Annie won’t help you the way I did.”

Reiner’s brow twitched. “Why don’t you say that sentence to her face and see what happens?”

Bertholdt’s cool demeanor diminished. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said with his hands flailing. “Annie won’t remind you like I do. She does things in her own way—does her own kicking and whatnot.”

Reiner face forward, entering the cabins. “If you say so.”

Then he hopped inside the bed after he had taken off his shoes. In a loud groan, he said to himself, “Another day, another struggle.”

“You can do this,” Bertholdt said before blowing out the candle light and tucked himself in the sheets, already snoring and had his leg twitched.

His heart beat pumped each time he breathed aloud into the darkness. Thus, he appeased himself as his eyes fallen and his body motionless, his loud heart became softer to hear.

The sky was dark, and heard nothing but a song echoed in his dreams.

~~~

The one-on-one fight was no problem. Reiner found himself defenseless to Eren. He can fool Eren as a big and slow fighter, but when it comes to Mikasa, the role of being big and slow became real as it can be. He found himself flying and landed on top of Eren’s body.

The rest was a blur. A fight between Annie versus Mikasa. Both with great skills and their cold eyes turned against each other. This the world that Reiner is acquainted with.

~~~

The boys were crowded once they had their break from their training while Reiner and Bertholdt remain restful under the shade by the massive tree. Boys didn’t talk anything other than girls. But as soon as they mentioned girls, Reiner couldn’t bring himself to stay still as Bertholdt eventually gave up and accompanied Reiner to others.

“So what’s this about girls?” Reiner uttered.

“What’s happening?” Bertholdt’s awkwardness came through.

The boys exchanged glances with each other for a second. “There’s this girl, she’s really beautiful.”

“Her height’s too petite,” another boy said.

“And really pretty,” the third boy said.

“And gentle,” another boy commented.

“Who was it?”

“Christa Lenz,” the first boy answered. “She reminded me of a princess for some reason.”

The third boy cackled. “That’s too much of a stretch! I’d say she reminded me of a goddess to give us blessing.”

“If she were a goddess, she wouldn’t even you a look and give you a blessing without a second thought,” the second boy said.

“Hey, I’m not that hideous! It’s just the uniform that makes me feel sweaty.”

“From the sun, I hope.”

“Then you might as well join the people wanted to work in the fields instead.”

And soon fell into a laughter.

“Where is she?” Reiner asked in firm tone.

The boys all gawked at him now.

“She’s at the training grounds with Mikasa,” the first boy said.“Why?”

Reiner turned to see Bertholdt having a look at him in the eye with a silent caution.

“No reason,” Reiner replied, shrugging. “We just want to join in on the fun. We’ve been training hard for the last couple of days—my legs are getting all sore.”

“I agree,” the first boy said. “I wonder when the graduation will be. No one knows until we’re notified, right?” Then laid his hand on Reiner’s shoulder. “See you later.”

“Where are you going?” Bertholdt asked, mortified.

“To the food supplies inside Shadis’s building,” one of the boys answered.

“But we’re not allowed to be there,” the second boy scolded. “We’ll be hanged or shot if we go there. Or run laps until we’re starving.”

“Relax,” the first boy slung his arm over the second boy’s shoulder. “We’re just going to see if the potato girl is there.”

“I wonder if she’s going to run laps again,” the third boy said.

“Or not eat anything for tonight again,” the second boy added.

“Shadis really knows how to humiliate someone in front of the crowd,” the third boy said, snickering. “Remember the last time she ‘farted’?”

“Ah, who cares? As long as we have entertain, nothing else matters,” the first boy replied with a smug.

Three of the boys disappeared from Reiner and Bertholdt’s sight.

“You’re seriously not going, are you?” Beetholdt lectured.

“I’m not going to the food supplies,” Reiner replied.

In that moment, Bertholdt’s eyes went grim. The boys’s howling cackle echoed behind them. “I wasn’t talking about the food supplies.”

~~~

Down at the steepest hillside, the birds flocked near at a radiant sunset hung low between the clouds.

“Are you even listening to me, Reiner?” Bertholdt said. “If you fail, we—”

“I know, I know,” Reiner dismissed. “A little break won’t hurt.”

“I never said anything about a break. I hope you understand what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Yes, Mother,” Reiner remarked. He looked at Bertholdt over his shoulder.

Bertholdt sighed. “You’re a Warrior, playing as a soldier. Your heart belongs to Marley. Nowhere else.”

“Keep it down,” Reiner warned. “We’re almost there at the training grounds! We’re about to see them soon enough.”

Unimpressed, Bertholdt said, “It’s only Mikasa and Christa.”

Reiner’s lips curved. “Exactly.”

Bertholdt scratched his head. “You like Mikasa, too?”

Reiner shuddered back. “There’s no way I like Mikasa that way. Not in a million years. If anything, I’m glad she likes Eren more. I wouldn’t even let her near to anywhere near me or my bed.”

Bertholdt’s hand slammed against his face. “You—uh!” He slapped his face again. “You never change. Though you aren’t slacking from your mission at the start, so I suppose you need a break.”

Reiner’s head snapped with his ears perked up and his eyes twinkled. “Really?”

His friend’s shoulders sagged. “Do what you want as long as it doesn’t hurt the mission.”

“Speaking of mission, where’s Annie?”

“She should be with the others. But if not, I wouldn’t be surprised of her having some alone time. She sticks with us for so long she might be tired of looking at the same faces.”

His shoulders shrugged. “Guess so,” Reiner said.

Bertholdt screamed.

“What, is there a bug on you or SOMETHING?!”

Both boys jumped and fell altogether at the sight of glaring Annie.

“We’re here on this island, and you boys are surprisingly well-guarded,” Annie stated with her arms crossed. “Interesting progress. Is that how you boys trained nowadays?”

“We haven’t seen you,” Bertholdt said, clearing his throat. “For a while now. His face is smeared with blush once he hoisted himself. “Hi, Annie.”

Reiner smacked himself in the face. Of course he wouldn’t erase the fact that Bertholdt likes her.

Without giving a second glance, Annie walked ahead, approaching downward at the training grounds.

“Was there a reason you want to be at the training grounds?”

Bertholdt scratched his cheek. “Well, that’s—”

“If you’re here for training, we could use an extra hand,” Reiner answered.

Scoffing, Annie’s hair flipped over to the side. “What are you saying? You’ve been training long and hard since when you were a child.”

“She has a point,” Bertholdt supported.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t mean we’re slacking off. We’re here, training as them. We just need more time for more preparation. I’d be frightened if we keep ourselves down. We’d be dead in the ditch. As much as I hate to say this, but, one of these days we’re going to betray them someday. If someone finds out our true intentions, I’d rather be…be…”

“Be?” she said, her eyes unblinking.

Waiting.

“Brave,” the blond said. “Rather than be shameful.”

All of them stayed quiet.

“I agree,” Bertholdt said. “We have to be brave. We all have to, if it comes to that.” He patted his hand over Reiner’s back. “Don’t stress yourself. We’ll deal with it if we have to.”

Reiner dipped his head as an acknowledgment in return.

“It’s settled then,” Annie said in quiet determination.

Soon they met up with Mikasa, who was helping with Christa with defense mechanism with wooden weapons—all kinds. So far it has been going accordingly. But Eren was beaten badly, so badly Armin stitched Eren up, watching them from the sidelines.

“It hurts,” Eren whined.

“You should probably learn a thing or two from Mikasa’s skill,” Armin suggested with a faint, encouraged smile. “At any rate, you should start. It’s better to be beaten up than to be disarm by the Titans.”

“He’s right, you know,” Reiner intruded.

“Reiner,” Eren grinned, stretching from ear to ear.

“Don’t mean to pry, but, you’ve beaten down, only this time it’s Mikasa, and not the maneuver. Still, I don’t get what’s the point of fighting against people.”

“Beats me,” Eren responded. “Besides, it’s better to have knowledge than nothing.”

Then the boys overheard Mikasa’s harsh, but soft tone.

“Wrong,” she said, watching Christa, who was out of breath, ready to fall. “Your hands and arms need to be in a correct form when performing an attack. And your legs and feet need to be balanced—don’t step on a wrong foot.”

Reiner’s brows furrowed, eyes squinting.

Eren and Armin leaned forward, studying Reiner closely. “Something the matter, Reiner?” Eren spoke.

“She’s too harsh,” Reiner said. “Not everyone can be like Mikasa.”

Armin gulped. “True, but…”

“Was she always like this?”

“To who?”

“Everyone.”

“She’s always been like this, even before the Shinganshina’s fall. Why?”

Reiner noticed Armin gave him watchful eyes—curious, no doubt, but watchful.

“No reason,” he said to Armin. “She threw me across the field, remember?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of that,” Eren intruded.

He went to Christa once she’s dismissed by Mikasa. Reiner knelt down before her, and offered his hand for her to grip. She’s indeed beautiful, no doubt. Petite height as he got closer to her, her watching him with frightful expression.

So gentle and fragile. Too perfect for the unjust world.

“Are you okay?” he questioned.

“I’m…” she cleared her throat. “I’m okay. I wasn’t seriously hurt. Mikasa did what she had to.”

Reiner chuckled. “That’s quite alright. Here, I’ll help you.”

Before Christa could touch Reiner’s hand, another hand showed up, splitting the concentrated mood. Both gazed at Ymir, a tall girl with brown hair with freckles, adorned with a scowl.

“I can take Christa from here, if you don’t mind,” she seethed, and carried Christa in her arms, fading into the sunset’s light.

“Wow,” is all Eren said.

~~~

He hasn’t seen Christa since midday. He supposed that Ymir has taken a certain liking to her. If Reiner crossed the line with temptation, things will ugly with Ymir. She had no doubt to report him if she discovers of his Titan form. With that, he decided not to pursue for Christa’s reciprocation.

Often so, his mind changes whenever there’s love and affection. But with Christa, he felt enamored, like the walls had broken down on him. Shaking it off, he cast his feelings aside.

After that, they went back to their cabins, but just before long, he heard the melody in the wind again. Suddenly, he had forgotten about Christa and the girls he flirted.

There it is again. The melody arises. The voice carried again into the wind and whispered in his ears.

Without consciousness, he followed the sound into the woods once more.

He never once heard sounded so unearthly and beautiful. The song felt real—resonated and clutched him in the heart.

When he finally reached into the forest’s center, and there she was singing, lying underneath the green grass, facing away from the moonlight, surrounded by fresh oblong leaflets and forget-me-nots, wearing her white nightgown reached up to her feet and her white puffed sleeves adorned her flawless skin. Her long manes splayed against the ground.

Reiner stopped himself. He couldn’t see her face. One wrong move, she’ll stop singing. He was no fool. Yet he was; he has no weapon with him.

Should I tell her? Should I not and stay here and watch?

As he was about elevate his foot, the twig crunched. You stopped singing, exhaled a soft gasp, promptly rose forward with her back turned.

“Who’s there?” you demanded.

Crisp leaves rustling as the cool air embedded onto your skin.

He heard your voice, saying, “Don’t come any closer.”

Anyone who would see you in this state will get in trouble. You’re defenseless, broke a curfew, and alone, no less. You needed a bit of guidance to help you for self-protection. Though he had closer inspection on you; you held a pocket knife.

“It’s not safe here,” he said aloud. “Head back to the cabins.”

“I hate it there,” you said. “I have to forget the militia life, even just for a moment.” You successfully hid behind the thick tree without relying on navigating your footsteps.

Reiner sauntered in careful pace. “Trust me, anywhere is safer than these woods. Titans lurk these parts every night.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“There’s nothing wrong with help,” he said, stepping closer to a thick tree she concealed herself with.

“You don’t have to show your face to me,” he said. “Come out, and I’ll help you.”

His ears caught your gentle sighs.

Surrendered, you walked backwards and shortly felt his hands rest atop your shoulders.

“You can trust me,” he said, ironically.

Pausing, Reiner felt you shivering under his touch. Reiner pulled his jacket out and placed it above your head.

Trust me, he said.

Underneath the jacket, he saw the shy glint your eyes. Although he’s joyous, his shadow nearly covered up your entire face.

“Don’t worry, I’m here,” he whispered aloud.

Both of you and Reiner giggled in relief.

A deep groan sounded through the trees, and there, the titan appeared. Reiner took your hand and ran as fast as he could, making way towards the cabins. The titan chased them, and your panic rises. Reiner appeased you as he retraced his steps to which direction he entered from. With the trees swayed violently and the birds flew, they knew they’re in deep trouble.

It took them long enough to reach the exit, and the scouts were alerted at the Titan’s heavy stomps. From there, the Titan has been annihilated, Reiner had his arms around you the whole time. When Commander Shadis saw what’s occurring, Reiner knew you and him in deep trouble.

Shadis spared no time to scold Reiner and you.

“What the hell are you doing in the forest? Didn’t I say that you are prohibited to stepped over into the woods?! Not only you left yourselves defenseless, but you also chose to be a Titan meal!”

Reiner’s neck slightly bowed. “We apologize, sir.”

“Apologies are unacceptable. For one week, you two will be in the stable duty for your disobedience and your incompetent performance! Until then, you’ll have to train harder and faster. I expect you won’t make the same mistake again!”

“Understood, sir,” Reiner complied as you softly said, “I understand.”

Even your head is tucked, Commander Shadis looked at you as an insufferable insect. Perhaps this is what calls a duty, or a certain care in order for you to be prepared for the events like this to make sure you don’t fail. Though it didn’t stop there.

“Go back to your cabins and get up early. You two will be doing duty as a soldier. But at night, you better damn well know how to handle the stables. Dismissed!”

~~~

“I’m sorry I acted stupid. I’ll make sure it won’t happen again,” you said in a fainted tone.

Reiner watched you in sadness. “Don��t be. A mistake can be fixed.”

He watched you halting your tracks and give him back his jacket. “Thank you.”

He chuckled, his golden eyes are shut. “No problem. If you need any help, you come to me.”

“I will,” you responded with bliss. As you took the first step on the wooden staircase leading up to your assigned cabin, Reiner grabbed your wrist and watched you turned around, but only your manes shielded your entire visage.

“Goodnight,” he said. And left, leaving you wondering.

~~~

Everything was perfectly usual in broad daylight, but everyone knew what occurred with Reiner. Everyone asked Reiner of the details, but he delivered none, saying that he wanted to stroll because he was bored. For Bertholdt and Annie, their reactions had made things difficult. Reiner has to keep up with a good image, otherwise, it’ll be stained. Then he thought about you, wondering if anyone asked.

Reiner wanted to see you again. Thankfully, Shadis both punished you and him. After the training and the exam sessions, Reiner paid you a visit in the cabins, but instead the girls he randomly once flirted were there.

“Reiner,” the girls were calling out to him, reaching down the steps to meet him.

“I hope you’re doing okay. That titan is unbelievably stupid,” the first girl said.

“Who are you looking for?” another girl asked.

“Have you seen Annie?” he said, lying.

“Annie isn’t here,” the third girl said. “Why? You need something from her?”

Reiner shook his head. “Suddenly I forgot what to say to her.”

“We’ll relay a message to her, if you want,” fourth girl insisted.

He settled a dismissal wave. “No need. I can say it to her myself.”

“We’re entirely familiar with Annie, but she looked scary,” the first girl commented.

Though Reiner ignored her careless remark and said his goodbye before he left to search for you.

The heat in his chest felt tighter as he goes farther to meet you. He felt unsure for a moment until the melody came.

His heart danced with relief as he followed the sound of your voice from the grounds to the stables. He went inside first, then as the melody grew louder, he went at the back of the stables, and behind the fence, Reiner saw you admiring the flowers nearby under the midday light as your lips tugged into a smile beneath a long cloak of hair. As you stood up, your eyes met his; your humming stopped. In a moment of abate, Reiner watched you. The cool breeze unveiled your face, still standing far apart. Reiner gripped his hand on the white fence as the sheepish look in your eyes weren’t there, replaced with a spark of confidence and familiarity, filled with spry and beauty basked under the afternoon sun. Like an angel basked in radiant sun.

Little did he know, Reiner found himself smitten in the hands of an Eldian.

Taglist: @colored-tr-panels @galactict3a @slay0368

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sixpennydame · 1 year ago

Text

Make. Believe. ❖ Act 3

Actor!Levi x Fem!Reader

The AoT Premiere approaches, but all Levi can think about is you.

Warnings/Content: NSFW, Minors do not interact, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, creampie, infidelity (Reader has a boyfriend as first), mentions of AoT final season episodes

A/N: There will be a final drabble that highlights more of the AoT episode premiere event; I wanted this part to focus more on our two main characters, but I've been having so much fun with the extra details in the drabbles. I hope you've enjoyed my take on AoT Actor AU!!

Act 1 | Act 2

Levi can’t keep track of what country he’s in, what time zone or even what day it is.

But he knows it’s been 186 days since he’s seen you.

Japan had been a whirlwind of promotions for the last two parts of the Attack on Titan final season, with meet-and-greets, commercial shoots, and talk show appearances. Europe had been much the same, and although it was exhausting, it was also fulfilling, being back with the cast, traveling with his old friends. He was sad to see it end, but he was also excited about other projects that were coming up. And next month, he’ll be going to the Cannes Film Festival, where the movie you and he shot together will finally premiere. After eight months, he’ll see you again.

But before that, he’s returned to Japan for the premiere of the final two episodes of Attack on Titan. Jet lag is still hitting him hard, and he sighs when he looks over at the clock and sees that it’s only two o’clock in the morning. Another sigh escapes his lips when he looks over at the naked body beside him in the bed. He can barely remember her name - was it Jessica? Jessie? All he really knows is that she was sitting next to him in the bar of the Tokyo Grand Hotel and that she looked as lonely as he was. He feels guilty - he’s never been one for one night stands - but he was yearning to feel your body again; and if he couldn’t have you, then this was good enough.

These days, your face is everywhere. You’d recently contracted with Christian Dior and were now the model for Miss Dior cologne. As Levi had arrived at Haneda airport, there was a giant poster of you tangled up in silk sheets with your hair cascading down one bare shoulder. “What Would You Do For Love?” the poster asked.

When he walked in a posh area of Shibuya, there was another advertisement of you; this time you’re lying across a sofa in a black silk dress, the pink bottle of cologne pressed against your chest. Your eyes are half-lidded and sultry - the same kind of look you’d give him when you’d make love, all those months ago.

He reaches over and grabs his phone, the light from the screen illuminating his face in the darkness as he scrolls mindlessly through Instagram. He stops when he sees that you’ve posted a picture.

“Just finished filming season one! Now for a much needed break.”

You’re surrounded by your other cast members, all of you smiling. A man has his arm around you and Levi squints to look closer at the picture. He wonders if he’s just a friend, or if it’s something more, then he laughs at himself.

What is he doing? Why can’t he forget you?

He’s the one that made this choice, and he’s the one that pushed you away. You’re smart, ambitious, and beautiful - of course you’d find someone else to be with. But he can't help but wonder what it’ll be like to see you in person again, and with you on his mind, he eventually falls asleep.

Hours later, Levi’s phone is buzzing and chiming erratically and it jolts him awake. He turns off the alarm, then checks the time. “Shit, I gotta get up.”

He’d promised Erwin that they’d do a run this morning around the Imperial Palace Gardens. As he gets out of bed and grabs a t-shirt, an arm from the woman next to him reaches over.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hey.” Awkwardness and regret drip from his voice. “This was fun but you’ve gotta go - I mean I - I’ve gotta go. I have somewhere to be.”

“Ok…let me just go clean up a bit,” she replies as she picks her clothes up off the floor and makes her way to the bathroom.

Putting on his running clothes, Levi shakes his head. They’re two consenting adults, but he can’t help but feel embarrassed about it all. He hates these kinds of awkward moments, especially when he knows he has no feelings for the woman.

He grabs his phone from the nightstand and notices there’s an unread message. When he unlocks his phone, he sees that it’s from you and his heart starts to beat fast.

“Hi. Have fun at the premiere tonight.”

That was it, but Levi reads it a few times. He types out a simple, “Thanks,” not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting to seem too eager.

He puts the phone down but after a few seconds, picks it back up again and types another message.

“How are you?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Got some good news?” The woman is out of the bathroom and dressed.

Levi looks up from the screen then puts the phone down quickly. “Yeah. Maybe.” He walks over to her and kisses her tentatively on the cheek. “I’ll text you later.”

“You don’t have my number.” She’s seen right through his lie.

“Look I’m sorry, it’s just that I -“

“It’s fine, I wasn’t expecting more out of this anyway.” Before she opens the door to leave, she stops to look at him. “You’re a good man, Levi. I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”

—-

Erwin stands at the entrance of the Imperial Palace East Gardens, looking at his watch. “You’re late.”

“I know, I know, I got held up. Sorry about that.”

“Still jet lagged?”

“A bit,” Levi answers as he messes with his smart watch. “You?”

“Not really. Cold showers in the morning really help me to adjust.”

Levi laughs. “Of course. I forgot you did that.”

“Every morning. Let’s go.” Erwin and Levi start jogging down the path that leads through the East Gardens. It’s early spring and the cherry blossoms are at their peak in Tokyo, pink petals falling down around them.

When Erwin and Levi were on set for Attack on Titan, they would jog together every morning. It was something that Levi had always done alone, but found having a running partner comforting, even if they barely talked to each other. Erwin had a perpetual aura of calm around him, which was difficult to find amongst other actors. Levi hadn’t seen much of him since his character died, and both had been busy doing other projects; these past weeks doing promos for AoT made him feel like it was old times.

They finish an hour later back where they started, sunglasses on with the hope that no one will recognize them. “You ready for tonight?” Erwin asks as he walks up to a vending machine to buy a bottle of water.

“Yes and no. It’s bittersweet, to see something you worked on for so long finally end. But I’m proud of the work we’ve done on it, and I’m excited to see how the final episodes turned out.”

“Me too. It was good to be on set with you again, even for just a short moment.”

“Yeah, those were not fake tears coming down my face, let me tell you,” Levi admitted with a laugh.

As both men walked through the park, Levi reached into his pocket to check his phone and sure enough, there was another text from you:

“I’m doing good. :-)”

It elicits a smile from Levi and Erwin laughs. “What?” Levi asks defensively.

“Oh nothing,” Erwin replies, “that’s just an awful big smile. Must be someone special.”

“Someone I was trying to forget, actually.”

“And why would you do that?”

“Because I’m an idiot and I thought it’d be better that way for her.”

“Ah, I see.” Erwin sits down on a bench under a sweeping sakura tree and Levi follows. “Levi, in all the years I’ve known you, you’ve always put others ahead of yourself. It’s one of the things I admire most about you. But sometimes, you should be a little selfish.” He puts a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “And it’s ok to go after the things that you want. When you do that, life finds a way of working itself out.”

Levi smiles. Even off-screen, Erwin had a way of saying the wisest thing, right when he needed it most. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

“‘Course I’m right,” Erwin grins. “And as your commander, my final order is for you to go after this woman with your whole heart.”

They both laugh and talk as they make their way out of the park and to the busy streets of Tokyo. When Levi returns to his hotel and enters the elevator, he feels his phone buzz. It’s another message from you, and Levi’s eyes go wide when he reads it:

“I’m in Tokyo to attend the AoT premiere. I hope you don’t mind.”

——

Iceland was cold. And lonely.

The last six months shooting the series had been an incredible experience. The cast was a mix of seasoned actors and newbies just starting out, and with a young, emerging director looking to prove himself, you knew that you were a part of something great. The days were long and sometimes exhausting, and often ended up with you collapsed on your bed looking over lines into the wee hours of the morning. For the most part, you were happy.

But god, you missed Levi.

That last night you saw him, you couldn’t understand why he thought it would be better for you two to be apart, but you pretended to be ok with it. And it had taken everything in you not to knock on his door the next morning when you were leaving. You’d seen the jealousy on his face that night - you knew he still cared for you. But your pride had you walk away without so much as a goodbye. It’s what he wanted, right?

So you tried to move on and forget him. You’d even started dating someone on set; a feeble attempt to prove to yourself (and to Levi, in a way) that you could be a working actor and keep up a relationship. He was nice enough and the sex was good, but it just wasn’t the same. Something was missing.

You knew Levi hated social media and never updated his Instagram account, so you started following his AoT co-stars, hoping to get just a glimpse of him. Every once in a while, a video would come out on YouTube of him in an interview with other cast members, and you’d smile at how awkward he was at being himself in front of a camera.

When the date of the AoT premiere was announced, you immediately contacted your agent to get you on the guest list. You’d loved Attack on Titan for years - you had to be there. And to be honest, you wanted to see that dark-haired, brooding man again, even if from a distance.

Filming was wrapped for the next several months, to give you all some much needed rest, but you only had one day at home before you were back on a plane and headed to Japan. As you arrived at your hotel in the darkness of the early morning, you got your phone out of your bag. Somewhere, in this sprawling city, Levi was sleeping. You wonder, does he ever dream of you?

You find his name in your contacts and send him a quick text. He probably won’t respond, you think to yourself.

When you wake up late that morning and see that he has, your heart skips a beat.

You can’t help but smile as you send him a reply. Then another. You fall asleep for an hour or so and when you wake up, he’s answered you:

“Of course not. I hope I’ll see you there.”

——

The area around the Toho Cinema Roppongi Hills is starting to fill with people as the time for the Attack on Titan, Final Parts 1 and 2 premiere approaches. A red carpet has been rolled out and barriers put up; press and media have started to set up in their usual places, in preparation for pictures and interviews with the cast. Premieres are a huge event, and something that Levi has been involved in more times than he can count, but this one - the final AoT episodes - makes him feel emotional.

Now that he knows you’ll be here, he’s glad he didn’t bring a date - not that he was looking for one. He, Erwin, and Hange had decided to be each other’s dates months ago and frankly, he wouldn’t have it any other way. The three of them ride in a limo to the cinema, along with their publicists and agents. All of them are silent, feeling the weight of this moment, until Hange breaks the silence as they pull up to the entrance.

“Ok, boys…the last ride of the three amigos..”

The three get out of the car and the cameras instantly start flashing. Hange gets between both Levi and Erwin and takes either arm in theirs, walking the red carpet and taking pictures before they separate for individual photos and interviews.

Levi usually likes picking his own clothes out for premiers, but he let a stylist do it this time. He walks down the red carpet in black pants and jacket, with a black mesh collared shirt underneath, which gives just the faintest view of his toned chest. Silver rings adorn his fingers, and he’s slicked back his hair, which he’s been growing out the past few months, just for fun. Photographers are yelling at him from every direction, asking him to look their way, or to take a picture with Hange, Zeke, or Erwin. All around him are the smiling faces of people he’s known for over 10 years, and soon, other celebrities and guests attending the event follow behind them. He looks through the crowd and sees you having your picture taken. You catch his eye and smile; he tries to make his way toward you but he’s whisked away by his publicist.

There are seats reserved in the front of the theater for the cast, with guests sitting in the rows behind them. He takes out his phone and texts you almost immediately upon sitting:

“Come to the after party? It’d be good to catch up.”

He sends you the address and a few moments later, receives your reply:

“I’ll see you there. :-)”

As he puts his phone in the breast pocket of his jacket, Hange reaches for his hand. “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies with a sigh, squeezing their hand tightly.

The lights lower and the screen lights up to cheers from the crowd.

—-

Watching the final episodes was emotional, to say the least, but the mood at the after party is joyful and energetic. Everyone is drinking, eating, laughing, and reminiscing. Levi is sitting at a table with Petra, Ulou, and Eld when Zeke runs up.

“Levi, Levi, Levi, I just heard the greatest idea!” He forces his way between him and Petra. “Cast tattoos!”

“What?” Levi laughs.

“Yeah! Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and the others are doing it - we gotta do it too. They’re leaving soon, so let’s go!”

“No, no, there’s no we in this,” Levi protests as he resists Zeke pulling him away from the table. “Besides, I’m waiting for someone.”

“Oh?” That stops Zeke immediately. “And who would that be?”

You thank your driver in your limited Japanese as you leave the car and enter the stylish restaurant. Walking through the crowded space, you see Eren and Mikasa laughing and drinking with a group of other young actors. As a fan of the show since its beginning, you are feeling like a total fangirl as there are cast members from every season around you. But as you walk around the room looking for Levi, you suddenly get nervous, thinking that maybe this was a bad idea; you’re not even sure what you’re expecting from this night.

Just as you think about leaving, you see him sitting at a table with the Levi Squad cast and Zeke, who has an arm around him. He looks up, sees you, and smiles, throwing Zeke’s arm off of him.

As he walks towards you, you admire how good he looks. He’s so sexy, you can feel yourself blushing.

“Glad you could make it” he says, pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek. His lips are soft, just like you remember them.

“I wouldn’t miss it. Attack on Titan has been my favorite series since forever. To be honest, I am so excited to be surrounded by the cast.”

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of them.” He places his hand on the small of your back as he leads you through the crowd. Your hunter green silk dress swoops down low in the back, so when his hand touches your bare skin it gives you goosebumps.

He takes you from group to group, introducing you to people you’ve only known through a screen. You laugh with Jean and Connie as they talk about the practical jokes they used to pull on Levi off-set; you sing Red Swan (your favorite opening song) with Armin and Sasha, Levi refusing to join in no matter how hard you all try; you take shots with Hange and gush about how much you loved their character.

Levi watches you and can’t stop smiling. He’d forgotten how good it feels to be around you, to talk and flirt with you. Your hand grazes his and when he weaves his fingers through yours, you don’t resist. Your eyes shine as you look at him; you don’t have to say a word but he knows you’re feeling it too.

The two of you eventually make it over to Erwin and you blush when Levi brags about the film you made together and your acting skills.

“No, no,” you interject, “Levi is the real talent. His acting on set was some of the best I’ve ever seen.”

Erwin smiles. “I’m sure you both complement each other well and that the movie will be spectacular. I’m looking forward to seeing it.” He gives Levi a knowing smile and lifts up his champagne glass.

“Levi! My buddy!” Zeke comes crashing through the group, clearly inebriated. “And who is this? It’s Miss Dior herself.”

“Oh you’ve seen those?” The way he says it brings a blush to your cheeks.

“Of course I have. You look absolutely mesmerizing in those ads,” he moves closer to you, “just like you do tonight.”

Zeke leans on a nearby table and gives a playful smirk. “How long are you staying in Tokyo? I could show you around, if you’d like.”

“She doesn’t need you showing her around anywhere.” Levi’s voice is forceful for the first time that night. You put a reassuring hand on his arm - you have to admit, you like seeing him a little jealous.

“Thanks for the offer, Zeke, but I already have extensive plans in Tokyo.” You give Levi a smile that lets him know that ‘he’ is the plan.

Erwin comes to the rescue of both of you. “Zeke, what’s this I hear about tattoos? Are we doing this tonight?” He puts an arm around Zeke and leads him away, giving you both a wink.

The restaurant is large and sprawling, built in the old Japanese style, but is an interesting mix of East and West, old and new. There’s a garden in the center with the main area and smaller, more private rooms surrounding it. Wanting to escape the noise and commotion, you lead Levi outside, “It’s a bit quieter out here.”

“And more beautiful,” Levi replies, as you walk across a small bridge crossing a koi pond.

“It really is beautiful out here. I’ve always loved Japanese gardens.”

“I wasn’t talking about the garden.” He moves closer to you as you lean against the banister of the bridge. “You look stunning.”

“You know why I chose hunter green, don’t you?” He shakes his head. “Because it’s Levi’s color.”

“Oh really?” He is in front of you now, his hand grazing your arm ever so slightly as he looks you up and down.

“Mmmhmm, he’s always been my favorite character.”

“Nice to know I have a fan.”

“I’m just one of many.”

“But you’re the only one that matters.”

That makes you giggle. “So flirty. Is that how you get the ladies these days?”

“I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.” He looks at you with his piercing eyes. “It’s always been you.”

His words are like music to your ears, but you’re determined to stand firm. You can’t let him off so easily. “That didn’t seem to be the case six months ago.”

“Because I thought it was for the best, but I was wrong. So wrong. And I’ve regretted it every day since.”

His hand moves around your waist and he pulls you close. The lights of the garden shine in his dark grey eyes as his lips softly press against yours. You can’t help but return the kiss, your mouth opening slightly, inviting his tongue inside. When he moves away slightly, you realize you’d been holding your breath.

“I never should have let you go.”

“Levi, I..”

A few noisy and slightly drunk guests amble outside, ruining the moment. Without a word, Levi takes your hand and pulls you to a far corner of the garden, toward the private rooms. He pulls back the heavy, velvet curtains separating the room from the garden and gestures for you to enter. The room is small and intimate, decorated in a western style with a large, ornate mirror. You walk around, admiring the wingback chairs and gilded furniture, and then you feel Levi’s presence behind you.

His fingers lightly skim your bare arms, leaving a trail of heat coursing through your body. You close your eyes when you feel his warm breath against your neck, followed by soft kisses.

“Levi..I’m seeing someone..” you manage to say.

“Oh yeah?” He responds gently in your ear before kissing your earlobe. “You sure about that?”

When you open your eyes, you notice that you’re in front of the mirror and can see Levi kissing along your neck and shoulders. He looks up and grins.

“Right now I only see you and me.”

He continues kissing along your shoulder until the thin strap of your dress falls down your arm. You can’t resist him, you never could, and so you give in to your desires. You lean your body until your back is pressing against his chest. One of his hands is holding yours while the other is moving the fallen strap down lower, exposing your breast.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he says as he looks at you in the mirror, his hand moving to cup your breast. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this all night.”

You guide his other hand lower, to the high slit of your dress, urging him to touch your thigh. “I missed you, Levi. So much.”

For you, it’s always been him as well. As much as you’ve tried to deny your feelings for him these past six months, all it took was one touch from him for it to all come back. And now you want more.

His hand finds its way between your thighs as his other hand massages your breast. “You’re already so wet for me,” he notices, as his fingers begin to rub your clit.

“You’re the only one who knows how to make me feel good,” you reply, then your breath catches as he pushes your panties to the side and sides a finger inside you.

It’s a beautifully erotic sight, watching yourself in the mirror as Levi pinches your nipple and pumps his finger in and out of you. You can’t help but let out a moan.

“‘Shhh, you don’t want someone to hear, do you?”

“I don’t care. Levi, I need you so badly.”

You turn around to kiss him, taking his jacket off and throwing it on the floor. Almost immediately, he has you pressed against the wall and is lifting your dress up to your waist. He’s unbuttoning his pants as you slide your panties down, but only get so far as taking them off one leg before he lifts that leg up and rubs his cock against you.

Levi has tunnel vision right now; all he can see is your perfect body, all he wants to hear are the moans of his name from your pretty mouth. And that’s exactly what he gets when he thrusts inside you. You bite your bottom lip as he pounds into you again and again. “I thought you didn’t care if someone heard us?”

“I’m trying to be good,” you reply breathlessly.

“Oh I think we’re well past being good.”

He pins your arm over your head as his other hand is still lifting your leg, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your inner thigh. You kiss and suck on his neck, leaving a small mark.

“Careful there..”

“What? Makeup can cover it up,” you tease seductively, referring to the first time you and Levi made love.

He lets out a soft growl. “Then I suppose now we’re even.” He picks up the pace, watching as your breasts bounce up and down with each hard thrust. You’re driving him wild; every nerve in his body feels completely alive.

“Levi, I’m…”

He knows. He’s feeling it too. He kisses you long and hard, then feels your walls spasm around him. It’s just what he needs to push him over the edge, and as he cums inside you, it’s as if the whole world has stopped; only your uneven breaths mark the time passing.

You continue to spasm around his cock as your mind goes completely blank. You can’t explain it, but Levi elicits the longest, most intense orgasms from you. It’s just how your body reacts to him - you can’t explain it.

He says your name in your ear, his voice deep and raspy. “Will you forgive me? For all the time we wasted apart. I don’t want to do any of this without you.”

“Yes. Yes, I forgive you.” You run your fingers through his silky hair. “I know we can make this work.”

Of course you forgive him. You’d forgiven him the moment you laid eyes on him tonight; maybe even before that.

The bottom of your dress falls back over your legs and Levi gently pulls the straps back up on your shoulders. You are his, and he is yours - it’s always been this way, and now both of you know it. As you fix your hair and touch up your lipstick in the mirror, there’s a commotion in the garden.

“Leeeeeviiiiiiiii! Where are you? We’re getting tattoos!”

He’d know that yell anywhere: it’s Hange.

“Yeah, come on, Levi! We’re all getting tattoos!”

And Zeke is with them.

“Goddammit. Let’s stay here a little longer.”

You laugh. “You should do it…for memories.” You cup his cheek and give him a kiss. “Get it on your ass, so then only I can see it.”

At that, Levi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make this weirder than it already is.”

He takes your hand in his, then meets the screaming duo in the garden. “Ok, fine, let’s do this,” he resigns, as he leads you along to join the group.

“You want me to come too?”

“Of course.” His face is serious, but there’s a joy in his eyes. “I don’t intend on letting you out of my sight.”

“Yes!” Zeke exclaims. “Eren, Levi is in! Let’s go!!”

And so you walk, hand in hand, out of the restaurant to find the others.

——

“There’s no denying that the two of you have an incredible chemistry in the film. Did that come naturally?” the interviewer asks.

“I think I felt that spark between us almost immediately. Wouldn’t you say?” Levi answers.

“Oh yes, absolutely,” you reply fondly.

It’s the week of the Cannes Film Festival and you and Levi are on the interview circuit. After the AoT premiere, you broke up with your boyfriend and stayed with Levi in Tokyo, then went with him to Singapore and Seoul as the cast traveled from city to city. The month flew by and the next thing you knew, you were both traveling to France.

You’re together everywhere, and the paparazzi have quickly deduced that you're an item. It’s been a hot topic of all the celebrity and gossip sites, but neither of you care - a rare occurrence, for Levi especially, who has always valued his privacy intensely.

“And you’re actually a couple in real life, correct?”

“We are.” You answer tentatively. “He tolerates me, anyway.” You make light of it, but answering this question always makes you nervous, since you’re not quite sure how much Levi wants to share.

“More than tolerate,” Levi squeezes your hand, “she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to my life.”

He knew this question would come up, because it always does these days. But he’s realized, he’s not concerned with the gossip or the naysayers; he knows that whatever challenges come your way, the two of you can ride it out.

He believes this will work, because he’s in love with you. And after this interview is over, he’s going to tell you exactly that.

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