#At least my doctors agreed that the rate I was loosing weight was alarming
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Silly Game Time: Would you rather have to spend a week where all your food (no matter what it is) tastes a little too sour or a little too spicy to be enjoyable?
Sour.
I take medication that surpresses my appetite as a side effect.
Spicy food makes it hard for me to finish a meal, sour food makes it easier. A week on only spicy food would mean a week of being tired and nauseous, even if it was within my normal tolerance.
#Side note#It's a major pet peeve of mine when people consider this a 'benefit'#I've learned to manage it now and the benefits of the medication is worth the trouble#but I found out when I nearly passed out#because I didn't even notice I had barely eaten anything in three days#At least my doctors agreed that the rate I was loosing weight was alarming
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Domesticated
M/F Pairing: Y/N x Bang Chan (Stray Kids)
Genre: Married Life AU
Warnings: Smut, language, some mentions of cheating (but not with the main pairing)
Word Count: 19,922 (I might break this up later on)
Summary: Marriage was something Y/N had been dreaming about since she was a little girl. But now, ten years later, she’s married to her college sweetheart, but their relationship isn’t entirely perfect. There’s the issue of her new boss, aka her ex-boyfriend Seo Changbin, and Chan’s younger brother Felix who insists on calling her Medusa. Yet, through it all, Y/N is positive she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Notes: Y'all are really out here sleeping on husband Bang Chan and I won’t allow it anymore. Because Chan is 100% husband goals.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I slowly exhaled after disregarding my somewhat passable resume, courtesy of one of those sketchy website builders, to look at the interviewer who waited for my response, pen poised over his expensive notebook. I swallowed hard as I struggled to compose myself under pressure. Because there was a professional answer somewhere in the back of my useless brain, but a dozen other responses, far more honest than his expectations, were waiting on the tip of my tongue.
Such as:
Waiting at home for my husband because all I do is stare at the clock, counting down the minutes until he walks through the door. I kinda miss when we were in college and could see each other sporadically between long lectures, grabbing lunch at the Wendy’s on South Campus. Now, the most exciting thing that happens is the occasional blow job before we pass out on the worn mattress in our master bedroom.
Or
Sometimes Chan will host dinner parties at the house for his expensive doctor friends. He won’t spare me a single glance while I rush to fill glasses with rich-tasting wine, keeping an eye on Han Jisung because he can’t take more than three refills before he’s trying to dismantle the house. I’ll also have to ignore the really old surgeon who Chan admires because he likes to touch my ass when I pass through the living room. Maybe I was suited to be a sugar baby in another life.
Or
On the rare occasion when Chan actually uses his cock, he’ll pant in my ear the entire time because he’s worn out from long hours at the hospital. Chan will cum before me most of the time and I’m lucky if he’s cognizant enough to eat me out so that I can finally fall asleep from my post-orgasmic haze. Heck, I’ll even take his fingers on my clit if it means an assured eight hours of sleep.
Shit, I miss being young.
I cleared my throat, deciding on the professional answer because I highly doubt Seo Enterprises wanted to hire a desperate housewife.
I was sprawled out on the couch in our living room when Chan came home that evening. I barely acknowledged his rushed greeting, watching through narrowed eyes as he ran into the kitchen. “Babe,” came his anticipated whine. “There’s no leftovers?”
“I didn’t feel like cooking,” I said, turning over to bury my face in the throw pillows decorating the cushions. It really wasn’t that comfortable since Chan insisted we get the stiff, fancy leather futon as opposed to the appealing sectional that could actually recline.
“You didn’t cook?”
Chan’s voice was closer this time but I still ignored him, sensing an impending headache. “I had an interview.”
“That was hours ago,” Chan pouted.
I sighed loudly. “The interview went great, honey, thanks for asking.”
“I’ve been at the hospital since 5 this morning,” Chan went on, weight dipping beneath the couch at the opposite end. “I didn’t even have time for lunch because Jisung almost fucked up a patient’s IV.”
“Remind me again why he still has a job.”
“Because he somehow graduated from nursing school and has a license claiming he’s qualified,” Chan said. “Plus, he’s my friend.”
“You have shit taste in friends,” I said, protesting when his hand landed a firm smack against my ass.
“Minho tried to wreck the Corvette when he ran out of cigarettes.”
“Minho is loyal.”
“He still wants to fuck you,” Chan grumped. “Ten years after college and he’s trailing after your ass.”
“Darling, you don’t have to be jealous when I’m wearing your ugly ring on my finger 24/7.”
“It was my mother’s!”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Bang Chan,” I snapped while grabbing one of my support pillows from beneath my weight, launching it at my husband’s head. Sadly, Chan dodged at the last minute, much to my chagrin, smirking as he dug his fingers into my sides, forcing loud, high-pitched giggles as we both unceremoniously fell into the spotlessly clean floor. “Channie,” I groaned as he rolled on top of me, pinning my hands above my head before deciding to offer me a sloppy kiss with far too much tongue. “You’re fucking gross,” I said, biting at his lower lip in revenge.
“Yeah? Well, you’re fucking sexy,” Chan purred, nuzzling his head between my breasts.
“Stop it, you oaf!” I grumbled. “My period starts tomorrow. My tits have been sore all day.”
“Maybe I should have a look,” Chan teased, a free hand working loose one of the buttons on my shirt.
“And what good will that do?”
“Well, I am a doctor.”
“You just want to see my tits so you have something to jerk off to in the shower tonight.”
“Shower with me then,” Chan suggested. “I’ll fuck you against the wall.”
“Will you have the stamina?” I questioned. “You poor thing, how can you get it up when you haven’t eaten all day?”
Chan frowned at my mocking tone. “Are you turning down my cock?”
“You’re only half-hard,” I said, lifting my thigh against the tight bulge of his scrubs.
Chan let out a sigh, but his smile was endearing. “What if I order takeout? Then we can fuck in the shower.”
“Channie,” I cooed. “You always know how to talk dirty to me.”
I stand by my belief that email was now an archaic form of communication, but the number of big businesses that forced their employees to make an account @ their company name was ridiculous. But if I wanted to find a job in this big ass city, then I needed to play by the rules. Surprisingly, my most recent application was progressing with far more success than I could have anticipated, and I had read over the new email from Seo Enterprises at least half a dozen times:
Dear Mrs. Bang,
Thank you for taking the time to interview with our staff yesterday afternoon. After carefully reviewing your file with our CEO, he has asked us to schedule one last consultation. Please let us know your earliest convenience.
“That must be a good thing,” Minho remarked, digging his spoon into my ice cream since his bowl was empty and I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him.
“I guess,” I said, formulating a quick reply because I really wanted this fancy, high-paying Secretary job. I mean, sitting at home all day was definitely not high on my list of accomplishments.
“What’s the hurry anyway?” Minho asked as he licked his spoon clean. “Bang has enough money that you could just smooch off him for the rest of your life.”
“That’s not fair,” I said. “I want us to be equals.”
“Wasn’t that the point of marrying a doctor, Y/N?” Minho asked. “Otherwise, you could still be screwing around with me.”
“Except we aren’t 18 anymore,” I pointed out, frowning in his direction. “And says the guy who works part-time at his sister’s pet shop.”
“Hey!” Minho protested, shoving his spoon in my face. “I’m helping the strays. Population control and shit.”
“So what? You’re snipping some dog penises, good for you.”
Minho sat back with a disgruntled sigh. “What do you want to do after this?”
“I’ll bring Chan some lunch since he didn’t get a chance to eat yesterday,” I said. “Interested in accompanying an old friend?”
“Not really,” Minho said. “But I don’t have anything better to do.”
I maintained a long list of places that I truly despised and the hospital was number one. I always tried desperately not to let it show when I visited Chan because it wasn’t really his fault. I had a bad history when it came to hospitals and the memories lingered like the permanent smell of alcohol that Chan brought home with him on his scrubs.
“Did you see that guy in the waiting room?” Minho asked after I checked us in at the front desk. “He was seconds away from bleeding out on the floor.”
“Don’t talk about blood,” I shivered, hurrying to the elevator while frantically hitting the corresponding floor number.
“This reminding you of Freshman year?” Minho asked since he was a total airhead and missed out on the memo where I specifically told him to keep his mouth shut about that stupid Frat Party.
“There are five reasons why I hate hospitals,” I said, holding up my hand in front of his stupid face. “Don’t make me spell it out for you.”
“Is Freshman year one of them?”
“Shut the hell up, Minho.”
A quiet chuckle resounded through the empty elevator while I impatiently waited for our stop. “You’re feisty today,” Minho remarked once the doors reopened.
I ignored the nasty linoleum floors, heels clicking with every step I took in the direction of Chan’s office. “I’m eating with Chan and then we’re never coming here again.”
“Agreed,” Minho said, keeping pace with me while cringing at the gurneys being pushed through the hallways at an alarming rate.
We had almost made it to the end of the floor when I heard a lazy voice call out my name from one of the surrounding rooms. I closed my eyes because I could recognize that voice anywhere since it basically haunted my worst nightmares. He might not know it yet, but Han Jisung was the last person I wanted to run into because maybe, just maybe, he was one of the five reasons why I hated this place.
“Guys!” Jisung gushed, smiling brilliantly. “I’d hug you but I just finished cleaning piss off the floor.”
“Jesus, Han,” I said, wrinkling my nose against the overpowering smell of ammonia. “Is Chan in his office?”
“He was supposed to meet with our new superintendent,” Jisung said, grinning like a complete idiot when he shoved his gloved hands towards Minho who now looked a few beats away from losing his ice cream.
“You’re really pushing your luck today,” Minho growled at him.
“The meeting room is the last room on the right,” Jisung said, finally proving to be useful for once in his life.
I grabbed Minho’s arm because he was close to decking Jisung in the face and I didn’t need the security guards to tell Chan that I let my best friend attack one of his nurses. “Come on,” I said, urging him away from the potential crime scene.
“He’s this close to finding himself with a bloody nose,” Minho complained. “You know what’s funny? I’m pretty sure Han Jisung wouldn’t even know how to help himself.”
“You’re probably right,” I agreed, straightening the collar of my blouse as I peeked in through the tight blinds obscuring the glass wall of the room Jisung had indicated. “There’s Chan...” I started, trailing off when I noticed that he was engrossed in deep conversation with an unfamiliar woman.
“Oh, she’s really hot,” Minho remarked, wincing when I shoved my elbow into his chest.
“Commentary is not necessary,” I said, folding my arms across my chest as I tapped my foot against the floor. Who the hell did this bitch think she was?
“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you,” Minho teased and I swallowed my pride, trying to ignore the way she reached out to touch Chan’s arm.
Thankfully, Chan finally noticed me outside, offering me a cheesy wave which I refused to reciprocate as he said something to the woman. I waited outside the door, attempting my best stern expression even if Chan completely ignored my efforts, encasing me in his powerful arms. “Y/N,” he cooed.
“Chan,” I choked out, struggling against his strength.
Minho snorted at the display. “I’m going to find the cafeteria. Text me when you wanna leave, Y/N.”
I waved him off once Chan eventually released me. I sucked in a few grateful breaths while holding up the takeout bag I had brought. “Is there somewhere we can go?”
Chan nodded, reaching for my hand. “Sorry I took so long, I was meeting with the new superintendent.”
I pursed my lips at that revelation. “She doesn’t look old enough to be a superintendent.”
“She’s around my age,” Chan said and I frowned because that just made everything worse.
The hospital’s staff room was small, the smell of coffee heavy in the air as Chan closed the door behind us. “Nobody should come in.”
“Good,” I said, choosing the only table that looked halfway clean before sitting down with a sigh. “I brought you lunch.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” Chan said, gratefully accepting the bag from me while he sat down on the remaining chair. I glared at him from across the table, watching as he dug into the cheap Japanese like it was his last meal on earth. “Is something wrong?” he asked over a mouthful of noodles. Something college Chan would have never done when we first started dating, but I suppose that’s what you get with marriage.
“I saw you were pretty close with your new superintendent,” I said.
“Oh yeah,” Chan replied cheerfully, stuffing even more food into his impossibly wide mouth. “She’s super smart. Like, Harvard graduate smart.”
“Of course she is,” I murmured. “Do you like her?”
“As a boss I guess,” Chan said, still horribly naive to the real problem. I cathartically drummed my fingernails against the surface of the table.
“Are you coming home early tonight?” I asked him. “I’ll fix your favorite.”
Chan’s eyes lit up because, despite the food sitting right in front of him, he always got excited at the prospect of another meal. “Really?”
I nodded. “I’ll put the good whiskey on ice.”
Chan sat back with a dramatic groan. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Where is all this coming from?”
“I’m just being a good wife,” I said, taking on a dismissive tone.
Chan grinned. “Do you want something, sweetheart? You know I’ll buy you anything.”
“No reason,” I chirped. “I just want you to remember how good am I to you.”
“Of course I know that,” Chan said, reaching across the table to squeeze one of my hands. “I didn’t just marry you for your beautiful face.”
“That’s not what you said when we first met,” I reminded him cheekily, enjoying the way his ears grew red. “Should I do a reenactment?”
“That’s not necessary,” Chan said, quickly dismissing the topic. “Did you hear back from your interview?”
“Oh I did,” I said. “They want me to come in and meet the CEO.”
“What for?” Chan scoffed, returning back to his meal.
“Well, I am taking on the secretary position,” I said. “Maybe he wants to make sure I have good phone etiquette.”
“Yeah?” Chan grumbled. “Or, he wants to make sure you look pretty for him so he has something nice to look at all day.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked him because I loved it when Chan got possessive.
“I don’t want some rich bastard drooling over my wife,” Chan said, chopsticks clenched tightly between his fingers.
“Yeah? Well, it works both ways, you know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on, Chan,” I sighed. “Your superintendent was totally flirting with you.”
Chan put down his chopsticks, eyeing me cluelessly. “No, she wasn’t.”
“Yes, she was,” I immediately countered, reaching down for my purse. “I watched her the entire time.”
“Were you spying on me?” Chan asked with a smirk.
“Minho’s probably waiting for me,” I replied instead, smoothing down my skirt as I stood up from the table.
“Don’t you think that’s too short?” Chan asked, pointing at my lower section as if personally offended.
“Work hard, honey,” I grinned, leaning over the table to peck him once on the lips, offering a cheeky wave on my way out the door.
My palms were sweaty and, despite my repeated attempts to wipe off the nasty residue on my skirt, the condition persisted. Hyperhidrosis, Chan might tell me, nerdy glasses falling down his nose. I grinned at a distant memory, one of the first dates I ever had with Chan. A younger, less confident version of my husband, frantically peeling his suit jacket from his body, complaining about the heat in the restaurant, only to cower moments later when he realized his armpits were totally drenched.
“Mrs. Bang?”
I looked up at the young man bowing in front of me. “Mr. Seo will see you now.”
I nodded, holding my tongue before I let the intern know that he sounded just like a passage from Fifty Shades of Gray. Oh, shit, what if I was about to meet Christian Gray in the flesh? Some sort of young, hot billionaire with the world at his feet, buying up other companies like they meant absolutely nothing.
It was a believable scenario, and I don’t know how I managed to get my feet to work, but I followed the intern with exaggerated steps. “The boss has been looking forward to this,” the intern told me, pausing outside the office door.
“He has?” I wondered, glancing around the grandiose lobby. Did I really make that much of an impression?
“You can go in now,” the intern smiled, politely holding the door for me as I wordlessly walked inside.
Of course, I was expecting something extravagant, considering the layout of the lobby, but I was still deeply impressed by the spacious, but oddly cozy interior. Could you really call this room an office? Considering how massive it was in size. I mean, was it really necessary to basically live in an apartment when you arrived to work every day? Complete with stylish hardwood floors that looked like something out of an edition of House and Home magazine. I’d bet my entire life’s savings that the CEO hired some kind of fancy architect to design the place because those engravings on the mahogany walls were quite difficult to achieve. “It’s nice isn’t it?” a disarmingly familiar voice asked, and I found the dark figure leaning against the desk in the center of the room, sleeves rolled up to show off his impressive arms. “I was surprised to see your application, Y/N.”
Fuck, Christian Grey would have been way better.
“Changbin?”
He met me halfway across the room, now completely visible beneath the low hanging lights, tan skin washed with a comfortable glow. “Shocked?”
“You could say that,” I said, suddenly feeling like I was 18 again in college, lusting after the object of my affections.
“Have a seat,” Changbin offered kindly, extending his arm towards the matching armchairs neatly tucked around the electric fireplace.
“Okay,” I nodded, unable to take my eyes off Seo Changbin as I stumbled over my heels like a complete lovestruck teenager meeting her musician idol for the very first time.
But, holy fuck, Changbin looked good. Why the hell did he not age or turn prematurely gray? I held back a whimper, eyes looking everywhere around the room except at Seo Changbin. How did I not put two and two together when I first got the notification for the Secretary position at Seo Enterprises? I mean, what are the chances that this Seo is my Seo...Or, at least, he used to be my Seo.
“Y/N,” Changbin said, flipping through my file with lazy movements. Where did he get those pants from? They fit him sinfully good, hugging his thighs and if I look close enough, the outline of his...“How are you?”
I startled at the question, drawing my eyes up to meet Changbin’s familiar gaze. “Oh, I’m uh..” I trailed off anxiously, trying to put meaningful words together because he was making the English language harder than it needed to be. “I’ve been alright.”
Changbin smiled and I crossed my legs because that kind of smile could literally drench a girl if he wasn’t careful. “I was really happy to see your name on my list.”
“Were you?” I asked, fingers digging into the cushion of my chair.
“I’m always happy to see a familiar face,” Changbin said. “It’s been a while.”
“College,” I choked out, completely out of mind with anxiety, like the time Minho stole my phone and made me think someone had stolen it, even encouraging me to call the number only for him to hang up every time.
“You’re still beautiful.”
“Changbin...”
“I know,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s all in the past.”
“That’s right,” I said, wondering if now would be an appropriate time to snatch my resume out of Changbin’s veiny hands and flee the premises.
“And you’ve married Bang,” Changbin said, pointing to my wedding band. “Which isn’t surprising.”
“Five years,” I said, trying my best to think about Chan and only Chan despite the literal embodiment of my every erotic high school fantasy sitting right in front of me.
“This would be strictly professional,” Changbin said, holding up my resume. “You were our best applicant, but I thought you should know everything about this place before taking the position. Including me.”
“Is that so?” was all I could think to say in return to his unexpectedly thoughtful comment.
Changbin lowered my resume slowly. “The job is yours, Y/N.”
“I’d still have to talk to Chan first,” I said because there’s no way I could just start working for Changbin without Chan knowing everything about the situation. Unfortunately, I could just about anticipate Chan’s response.
“That’s fine,” Changbin agreed. “You can call us tomorrow.”
I allowed a shaky nod, wondering if Changbin knew how much of an effect he still had on me all these years later.
Chan might be one of the smartest men I know, but he was, at his core, just a man who was quite whipped for his wife. Like all men, he was a sucker for lingerie, which is why I slipped on my best matching set, squeezing myself in the little black dress that I knew he really loved.
The hem barely touched the middle of my thighs.
I was also cooking his favorite meal, the smell filling the kitchen pleasantly as I stood at the stove. My plan was quite simple: dress pretty for Chan and surprise him with his favorite food to soften him up. Maybe then he wouldn’t have a complete meltdown when I broke the news to him about my newest employer.
But I still shivered when I heard the door open. “Y/N!”
“I’m in the kitchen,” I called back to him, attempting several meditative breaths to try and keep myself together.
“Holy shit,” he cursed, freezing in the doorway as he undoubtedly took in the sight of his wife wrapped in a tight black number.
“I’m making dinner,” I said, flashing him an arrogant smile, amused by the way he openly gaped at me while still wearing his oversized doctor’s coat. A result of an excited, freshly employed Chan filling out his form request with sloppy handwriting.
“You look hot,” Chan told me bluntly, eyes glued to my body as he eliminated the space between us with a few quick-paced steps.
“I got the job,” I said, letting out a nervous giggle as I continued to push around the searing bulgogi with a shaky hand. “Consider this a celebration.”
“That’s great, sweetie,” Chan said, standing behind me to wrap his arms around my middle, pressing soft kisses to the back of my neck, roaming hands feeling my body. “I guess the CEO liked you.”
A hellish double entendre. “Yeah, he was really nice.”
“I’m glad it worked out,” Chan said, voice next to my ear. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to get a job or anything. I’m proud of you no matter what.”
Was it his intention to make me feel guilty? “Channie,” I sighed, turning around in his arms. “I have to tell you something.”
Chan cocked a brow. “What is it?”
“The company I’m working for...”
“Yeah?”
“The CEO is someone we know.”
“Is that it?” Chan chuckled, accent thick as those adorable dimples filled out his smile. “Who is it, babe?”
“He used to go to school with us,” I tried, hoping that maybe Chan could just learn how to read my mind and save me the effort of mustering some kind of courage.
“Minho?” Chan teased.
“We’re not exactly friendly with him,” I said.
“Well, I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but I’m not exactly friendly with Minho.”
“You jerk,” I huffed, half-heartedly pushing against his chest. “You really, really don’t like this person.”
“There aren’t many people I really, really don’t like,” Chan said. “Come on, Y/N, just tell me who it is. Are you afraid I’ll be upset with you?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
Chan’s smile vanished in a minute. “Y/N.”
“Seo Enterprises,” I said. “The company name.”
Realization dawned across Chan’s face. “Are you saying...”
“Changbin,” I murmured, looking down at my feet. “He’s my new boss.”
Chan let out a rough exhale because he knew exactly who Seo Changbin was and I’m pretty sure he associated the name with deep hatred. “Are you fucking serious?”
I winced at Chan’s tone because he had quickly shifted from sweet, caring husband to angry, sinister Mr. Bang in the blink of an eye. “Yes?”
“The Seo Changbin,” Chan reiterated. “The guy you fucked for like six months Freshman year?”
“That would be the one,” I said, forcing myself to meet his gaze before immediately regretting the decision.
“Why the hell would you take a job as his Secretary?” Chan demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. Normally, I would admire the sight of Chan’s arms stretching the thin fabric of his t-shirt, but now I was just intimidated.
“Because I really wanted the job,” I said. “And I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
“Oh, it’s a huge fucking deal,” Chan said, glaring down at me. “You think I’m okay with the idea of you working for someone you once told me you were, and I quote, definitely gonna marry?”
“But I’m married to you,” I tried, attempting a sugary-sweet tone that usually broke Chan’s resolve.
Except for tonight.
“Yeah,” Chan nodded, “You are, and I told you I would take care of you. I have enough money to support both of us, you don’t need to work at all.”
“Chan, you know I’m not comfortable sitting at home,” I said.
“I get that, Y/N, but Seo Changbin? I could get you a Secretary job at the hospital.”
“Channie, this is a position at Seo Enterprises. One of their biggest assets is New York Publishers! It’s like the perfect opportunity to get my foot in the door.”
“Y/N,” Chan groaned. “I can’t stand the thought of you working for Changbin under any circumstances.”
“I get it, Chan,” I said. “But it’s different than college. I’m married now, and Changbin is nothing more than my boss.”
“Does he really get that?” Chan asked. “I’m putting my foot down, Y/N. I don’t want you working for him, okay? You can call them tomorrow and say you’ve got something better.”
“But Channie!”
“No, Y/N,” Chan growled. “You can look for something else.”
I frowned once I realized Chan wasn’t going to back down. It didn’t matter that I wanted the job or that I had dressed up and cooked for him. For the first time since we met, Chan was refusing to give me what I wanted. “Chan, you really don’t have the right to tell me what to do.”
“I’m your husband,” Chan said, justifying his unfair demands with such patriarchal reasoning.
“Fine,” I muttered darkly, ignoring the way his hand reached out for mine.
“Don’t be this way,” Chan said, following me as I marched to our bedroom, slamming the door closed behind me. “Y/N!” Chan shouted against the door, knocking loudly on the wood. “This is my room too!”
“Not tonight,” I informed him tersely, opening the door only to harshly shove a spare blanket and pillow at his chest. “Goodnight, darling.”
“This is Y/N,” I said into the phone. “I’m calling about-”
“One moment, Mrs. Bang, we can transfer you to Mr. Seo right away.”
“But you don’t understand...”
“Hello?”
“Changbin!” I squealed loudly into the phone, wincing at my shrill tone.
“Y/N,” Changbin said pleasantly, voice as deep and gravelly as I remembered. “Is this the phone call I’ve been waiting for?”
“I’m not sure,” I said, making myself comfortable at the kitchen counter since I was a notorious pacer when it came to difficult conversations. “It depends on what you’re expecting.”
“I’m expecting to hear a confirmation,” Changbin said. “This is a perfect position for someone with your qualifications.”
“I know,” I groaned. “But I’m calling because I can’t take the job.”
“Really?” Changbin asked. “Can I ask why?”
“Chan isn’t comfortable with the idea,” I said.
“Is that so?” Changbin inquired, innocently enough. “I hope it isn’t because of college.”
“T-that’s not entirely why,” I stuttered because Changbin was apparently intuitive now that he owned some big, fancy company.
“I hope not,” Changbin said. “It wouldn’t be fair of Chan to keep you from a potential opportunity because of something like that.”
“It’s just a lot right now,” I said. “I haven’t had a job in a year. My last position was really good, but the company went bankrupt and I was laid off, so I’m just trying to be careful.”
“You wouldn’t have to worry about anything like that here, Y/N,” Changbin said. “This is a great opportunity for someone looking for a fresh start.”
Did he read my Facebook bio?
“I’m sure it is, Changbin, but I can’t do something that would make Chan uncomfortable.”
“But he’s not the one taking the position,” Changbin pointed out. “I can assure you, Y/N, you won’t find another position like this.”
“God, you’re good at negotiating.”
“Take the job, Y/N. I promise you won’t regret it.”
I could blame it on my desperation later, but I actually really liked the position. It promised a lot, especially considering the publishing company attached to Seo Enterprises. That would be my ultimate goal, to spend my days reading promising manuscripts while sipping expensive Starbucks coffee.
“I guess I can’t say no.”
“Then I’ll see you on Monday.”
Message to Channie
I took the job. I’m sorry but the opportunity was hard to pass up.
It only took a few seconds for Chan’s contact name to flash across my screen with an incoming call. I muted the sound like a coward, ignoring him completely while I started the ignition to the Corvette. A one-year anniversary present from Chan who was somehow more excited than I was when he first handed me the car key.
I drove to Minho’s apartment because I didn’t want to go home and I really had nowhere else to go. Plus, at least Minho was a reliable friend who really didn’t care if I crashed on his couch while he shoved cheap wine down my throat. In fact, Minho might be glad to see me since he was constantly complaining about his new hours at the shop.
“You look like shit,” Minho commented when he answered the door, standing aside to invite me inside. I shrugged off my coat, tossing it against the wall before slumping down onto the cheap sofa in Minho’s living room. The only piece of furniture he could afford in his ridiculously small New York apartment. “What happened?”
“I took the job with Changbin.”
Minho’s eyes widened in surprise. “You did? I can only assume Chan is lying somewhere on his deathbed.”
“No,” I snorted. “I took the job even though Chan asked me not to.”
“Savage,” Minho exhaled and I rolled my eyes at him.
“It’s a great opportunity!”
“When do you start?” Minho asked, feet propped up in my lap as he made himself more than comfortable next to me.
“Monday morning,” I said, mindlessly taking the remote to scroll through his limited TV channels.
“And Chan is mad?” Minho repeated, glancing at me for confirmation. “Can you really blame him though?”
“Why?” I frowned.
“I mean, Chan’s been in love with you since high school. He used to trail after you all the time, but you only talked about Seo Changbin.”
“You’re not being a good friend right now,” I said, remembering with perfect clarity the image of a sixteen-year-old Chan, hair untamed and clothes mismatched. Chan was a constant presence in my life, even if I preened after another boy who certainly had no intention of remaining faithful.
“Go home to him, Y/N,” Minho said with far more seriousness than I was used to hearing from my still immature best friend. The same Minho who couldn’t find work for an entire year after graduation because he was too busy sleeping with any woman that walked on two legs, living with various girlfriends while slowly draining his savings account.
“Since when are you the voice of reason?” I grumbled.
“Well, we all have to grow up one day.”
I hated the rare occasions when he was right.
The house was eerily silent when I unlocked the door, spotlessly clean just as I had left it which made me feel bad because it meant Chan didn’t even try to eat anything. “You always make me worry,” I muttered, toeing off my shoes as I decided to check the bedroom.
When Chan had first bought the house, he wanted it to look as close as possible to the random design I had pointed out at the local fair when we were Sophomore students. The plaque had deemed it the “house of the future” and I was enamored with the idea of the future back when my whole life was waiting right in front of me. A big dreamer who was already making wedding plans the moment Chan got down on one knee and proposed with his mother’s wedding ring.
“Channie,” I whispered into the darkness, cautiously tiptoeing my way to the side of the bed where Chan was facing away from me, sheets tucked in around his waist to leave his chest exposed. “I’m sorry.”
Chan let out a sigh. “What are you sorry for, Y/N?”
“I hurt you,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “I took the job with Changbin and I didn’t think about how it would affect you.”
“I fucking hate him,” Chan said, tone bitter and laced with venom. “I hate what he did to you Freshman year and I hate that he was the first person you loved.”
“Chan,” I sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I was really young and stupid back then. I should have never slept with Changbin. But he was just a fantasy, even when we were together, and I certainly never really loved him.” I leaned in closer, brushing his hair away from his forehead. “I’ve always loved you first. You mean the world to me and I’m sorry that I went behind your back to work for Changbin. But he’s definitely nothing more than a mistake from a past full of them. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Chan shifted from next to me, rolling onto his back. His eyes were looking at me like I was literally his entire world. “I’ll always worry, sweetie. You drive me insane these days.”
I grinned at the use of his pet name for me, reaching out to run a soothing hand along the defined lines of his stomach. “Don’t worry about me, darling, when you’re the one with a supermodel for a boss.”
“Fuck, we’re both screwed,” Chan said. “Does she drive you mad with jealousy?”
“Of course she does,” I said. “She has bigger tits than me.”
“Well, I like your tits,” Chan insisted. “Don’t even think about bringing up plastic surgery again.”
“It would be to your benefit,” I pointed out.
“And the detriment to my savings account. Plus, I don’t want some old bastard fondling your tits while he pumps silicone in your chest.”
“Of all the things to worry about,” I sighed. “Does this mean we’re okay again?”
“You could probably step on me and I would still thank you for it, sweetie.”
“What if I sit on it instead?” I asked, moving my hand down to squeeze his flaccid cock.
“Makeup sex?” Chan gasped. “You don’t have to sell yourself out like this, babe.”
“Yeah? Well, I want to,” I said while proceeding to straddle his waist, smirking when Chan’s hands instantly moved to my hips. It was almost like a magnet, the reaction automatic after years of marriage. “You’re already hard,” I teased, reaching back to palm him over the sheets.
Chan always slept in boxers which I certainly appreciated because it made the rare nights of our passionate lovemaking even more accessible. Chan lifted my shirt, groaning low when he saw that I was wearing nothing but a pair of satin panties. “This is why I’m already hard.”
“You don’t see me walking around the house in underwear,” I quipped playfully.
“It’s comfortable,” Chan whimpered, moaning when my hand found the smooth velvety head of his cock.
“Something you never did when we were dating,” I said. “I spent weekends with you in the apartment.”
“Wanted to make a good impression,” Chan grumbled, eyes closed as he rolled his hips in time with my careful strokes.
“So you don’t have to impress me anymore,” I said, glancing back at his cock, hot and heavy in my hand. “But I guess you still do.”
Chan moaned even louder at my words, fingers tightening in my wrinkled shirt. “Don’t make me cum yet.”
“Why not, darling?” I asked him cheekily, twisting my wrist just right, watching as a stuttered gasp fell from between his gorgeous pout.
“Wanna cum inside,” he said, biceps straining as he pulled me closer, kissing me with a desperation that only demonstrated just how gone he really was.
“Yeah?” I smirked, tongue tracing the ridges of his full lips. “I guess you deserve it after putting up with my bullshit all day.”
Chan nodded fervently and the sight was oddly endearing. It reminded me of when Chan and I first met in high school, a nerdy sixteen-year-old boy who had just transferred schools all the way from Australia. He had a thick accent, foreign and rich, just like the untamed mass of curls covering his deep brown eyes. Chan wore thick-rimmed glasses and he had a light dusting of freckles like the main character from Freckle Juice, one of my favorite childhood novels. He was nerdy and shy, sitting alone in the cafeteria at lunch and walking between classes with his shoulders hunched like he was afraid one of those horrible jocks would try to steal his bag again.
“Y/N!” he whined loudly, forcing me out of the memory.
“Alright, Channie, you want inside?”
I sat up on my knees to work down my panties, ignoring the way Chan’s fingers tried to interfere, pulling at the fabric like he could possibly make them disappear any faster. I grabbed the hem of his boxer shorts, teasingly pulling them down his thighs before brushing a kiss across the weeping tip of his cock, precum bitter on my tongue. For a moment, I admired his thick erection, remembering how nervous Chan was the very first time we had sex back before we were even old enough to drink alcohol.
I held his cock as I positioned myself over his lap. “I’ll do all the work tonight,” I said, listening to Chan’s sweet moans the entire time I slowly lowered myself onto his cock, enjoying the way he always filled me so deeply.
“Oh yeah, sweetie,” Chan grunted, hips moving messily as he tried to find a rhythm. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”
“Really?” I asked, swallowing down a moan when Chan hit just right, movements growing more and more confident as I returned every thrust. “I thought I was in charge tonight.”
Chan’s hands gripped my waist firmly, eyes wide open as he focused on where we were connected. “I’m always in charge.”
“Definitely,” I said, bracing my hands against his firm chest for balance because I was weak for this version of Chan. A complete contradiction to the one I first started dating, sweetly doting as he did everything in his power to make me happy. An image of a beautifully innocent Chan looking up from his position between my thighs. “It’s good?”
“So good,” I whispered aloud, peppering kisses across the pale expanse of Chan’s creamy skin, laving my tongue against a sensitive nipple which forced a temporary break from his regular tempo.
“Don’t play dirty, sweetie,” Chan said, giving me no warning before he was pushing me onto my back, hovering over me with his irresistible bedroom eyes. His hands spread my thighs wide, giving himself more room to fuck inside, movements growing faster with every step closer to what was beginning to feel like an intense orgasm. I’m talking about the kind that I could feel between my legs for days after I tried to walk straight again. “Do I need to touch you?”
“Fuck, I think you’re doing just fine,” I said. “Where the hell did this come from?”
“You woke up my competitive side,” Chan said, hitting deep like we were suddenly 20-years-old again sneaking quickies between lectures. Back then, Chan could literally fuck me against a wall, my legs wrapped around his gorgeous hips while he knocked the breath out of my lungs. Thank god, Chan decided that college would be his glory years, working out aggressively in the gym until he had muscles filling out the places where he had previously been soft. But I would always miss his pudgy stomach, even if his ass was now something out of a porn magazine.
“Well fuck,” I moaned. “I’ll have to do this more often.”
“I’d do it all the time if I wasn’t working until 3 in the morning at the hospital,” Chan said.
“Good point, should I come in at lunch then? You can lock us in one of the empty rooms.”
“Oh shit, sweetie, you shouldn’t talk that way,” Chan growled and it was one of the sexiest sounds I had ever heard.
“I’m close,” I warned him, digging my fingers in his scalp as his teeth teased against my collarbone.
“Me too,” he said, breaths uneven as he punctuated his words with a series of harsh ruts that sent my eyes rolling into the back of my skull. His fingers found my clit, thumb pressing down hard enough to trigger one of the best orgasms I had experienced in a long time.
I tightened around his stuttering cock, moaning when I could feel his cum deep inside, warm and wet. “Shit, you’re so good at that.”
Chan pulled out slowly, eyes growing wide at the sight of his cum leaking down my ass. “Left a fucking mess though.”
“We can shower later,” I said, grabbing his arm to encourage him to lie down next to me, burying my face against his chest, scarlet-red from the exertion.
“Was the dick that good?” Chan teased, running his fingers soothingly along my spine.
“Your dick is that good,” I replied. “The genetics are strong.”
“I’ll be sure to tell my parents,” Chan said, giggling as I shot him a warning glare. “I love you, sweetie.”
“Mmm, I love you more.”
1 Week Later
Lee Felix is the spawn of the devil and nobody could convince me otherwise. Because ever since we first met, when Chan invited me over to his house for a project, Felix had decided that I was his number one enemy, deeming me “Medusa” because he was enamored with Greek Mythology. But the unfortunate nickname had stuck throughout the years, even when Felix visited our college between breaks, forcing me to sleep on the couch while he shared the bed with his step-brother.
Recently, Felix had just finished his Master’s program for some kind of fancy Philosophy degree that would probably do him absolutely no good in the real world. But Chan was proud of his baby brother, inviting him to stay with us after graduation until Felix could stand on his own two feet. The decision was met by my instantaneous protest leading to an argument that I inevitably lost because Chan was still using Changbin as a winning point. However, even before my employment with Seo Enterprises, Felix was the cause of at least 95% of our arguments and I was not exaggerating in the slightest.
The sound of the doorbell ringing was suddenly a lot louder than I remember. “Death is here,” I said solemnly, ignoring the way Chan scoffed at my claim. I followed behind him somberly as he opened the door, letting out an excited cheer when he saw Felix waiting on the other side. Felix dropped his bag and practically screamed, which would likely wake up the entire neighborhood, jumping into his brother’s arm as the two embraced right in the middle of my foyer.
“Could you be any louder?” I snarled at the younger Bang.
“Maybe I could, Medusa,” Felix shot back, eyes narrowed as he picked up his bag.
“Come on, Felix,” Chan said, nodding at the kitchen. “I bet you’re hungry.”
Felix nodded, putting on his best smile for his ignorant brother, shoving his bag harshly at my chest as he walked by. “You can take care of that for me, right Medusa?”
“You little bitch,” I muttered, meeting his glare with one of my own.
The only thing worse than going out with Felix was including Han Jisung in the equation. For whatever reason, Jisung and Felix always riled each other up, chugging down alcohol like it was fucking water or something. However, Felix wanted to see Jisung again and Chan never said no to his little brother. This is why I was currently seated next to Chan at a cheesy bar in downtown Harlem, listening to Felix and Jisung try to talk over one another as Chan looked on with fond eyes. The only good part of the night was the fact that even Chan had allowed himself to get a little tipsy which meant he was doing his absolute best to feel me up in public. I always found it amusing, knocking his hand away when his eager fingers started to trail up my skirt.
“Felix,” Jisung whined. “How can you say that?”
“Oi, there’s no way you can put Nickleback and Green Day in the same fucking category.”
I rolled my eyes at the stupid argument, smacking Chan’s hand when he started to finger the waistband of my skirt. “Chan!” Jisung pouted. “Tell him that he’s wrong.”
“Tell the philosophy major that he’s wrong?” Chan asked, accent on full display as he reached out to playfully ruffle Felix’s hair. “You can’t even answer the phone at the receptionist’s desk.”
Felix loved the attention and I hated it when he came over only to occupy Chan’s every waking hour with his never-ending thirst for affection. But I wasn’t going to let him get away with it tonight. I cleared my throat, stretching my arms back behind my head because I knew how good it would make my breasts look in the rather low-cut shirt I had chosen for tonight’s affair. I glanced over at Chan, smiling victoriously when I saw the way his eyes had glued themselves to my chest. Even Han Jisung was looking, which would normally annoy me to no end, but I was putting on my best behavior tonight. “Chan!” Felix shouted, trying to regain his brother’s attention. “Did you hear that I scored the highest honors on my research project?”
And just like that, Chan’s attention was redirected to Satan, eyes glowing with pride. “That’s amazing, Felix!”
“I can tell you all about it,” Felix said arrogantly, tossing me a cocky smile which left me absolutely incensed. “The board was so impressed, they offered to publish my results in the University’s magazine.”
“Are you serious, Felix?” Jisung asked which was an even bigger blow because the only two things occupying Jisung’s thoughts were women and alcohol.
So I decided to push my luck, tugging down my skirt before shifting over in the booth to plant myself directly on Chan’s lap, wrapping my arms around his neck before nuzzling into his warm chest. “Channie,” I cooed while glaring at Felix from the corner of my eye.
“Do you want something, sweetie?” Chan asked, smile blinding as one hand wrapped around my waist, leaving the other to tease the bare skin of my thighs.
I reached for Chan’s beer, shoving the glass at him because nothing made Chan hornier than thighs and alcohol. “Should I come to see you at work tomorrow? Like we talked about before?”
Chan’s eyes lit with recognition and I smirked victoriously when I felt him grow hard in his tight jeans. “I’d really like that.”
And to seal my victory, I leaned forward to kiss my intoxicated husband, ignoring the sloppy way he reciprocated, breath musty with the taste of beer. Felix growled lowly from across the booth and Jisung let out a wolf whistle at our blatant display. But I was on cloud nine, satisfied to have won Chan’s attention because it meant Felix was going to be quite unhappy for the rest of the night.
“Medusa, aren’t you going to make me breakfast?”
I groaned as I glanced over at the alarm clock which informed me that it was only 9:00 AM. “Fuck, Felix, go back to sleep.”
“But I’m hungry,” he whined, reaching across the bed to tug on my arm.
“It’s Saturday,” I hissed, barely clinging to the wonderful promise of more sleep which would do wonders for my hungover state.
“Chan wouldn’t be happy with you,” Felix reminded me. “Should I call him at work?”
“Get out of here you little maggot,” I snapped. “I’ll fix you some damn breakfast.”
“Now!” Felix ordered like he had every right to make demands of me, but I didn’t want Felix to say anything to Chan because that would only lead to another needless argument.
“You’re a fucking menace,” I said, throwing off my bedsheets while briefly mourning the loss of my precious sleep. But I don’t want anyone to ever say that I was a bad wife, especially when I put up with Lee Felix just to make Chan happy.
Felix was already seated at the counter when I finally drug myself out of my bedroom, groggily reaching for a clean pan from the cabinet. “You get eggs and bacon,” I told him. “I’m not a gourmet chef.”
“Whatever,” Felix said, ignoring me completely in exchange for his cell phone. Which Chan was now paying for to help “lessen Felix’s financial burden.”
“Chan,” I remember telling him. “You’ll spoil him if you keep doing things like that. He’ll never want to leave!”
“What’s wrong with that?” Chan had shot back as if the idea of living with his younger brother for the rest of our married life was perfectly acceptable.
“A million things,” I muttered now, cracking one of the eggs against the side of the pan.
“I hear you’re working for Seo Changbin,” Felix abruptly spoke up, and I could practically feel his eyes on me. “He cheated on you, right?”
“It’s really none of your business,” I informed him brusquely, grabbing a spatula while wondering if I could teach Felix a lesson if I hit him a few times.
“My brother isn’t happy,” Felix continued as if my warning meant nothing to him. Probably because it didn’t. “I think it’s a bad idea, but your satisfaction always comes first, right?”
“Why the fuck did Chan tell you this?” I gritted out while aggressively slamming the fridge closed, pack of bacon gripped tightly in my hand.
“He tells me everything,” Felix said smartly. “Because he trusts me.”
“Good for you,” I huffed over my shoulder. “I’m glad you have such a close relationship with your brother.”
“Jealous?” Felix taunted, expression smug when I roughly placed down a glass in front of him.
“Is orange juice, okay?” I asked him in a faux sweet voice.
“It’s fine,” Felix shrugged. “But whatever is most inconvenient for you.”
“What a sweet little boy you are,” I said, pouring him a generous amount. “How long do you plan on staying here?”
“Chan says I can stay for as long as I want,” Felix said, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
“Of course not,” I muttered. “Two Bangs are better than one.”
“That’s right,” Felix said brightly, taking a sip from his glass. “Ugh, does this have pulp in it?”
“Drink your fucking orange juice, Felix!”
The invention of video games was a godsend because they could occupy Felix’s attention for hours, leaving me in relative peace as I tried not to let him destroy every last bit of my resolve. I was currently having a bath alone in the sanctity of my bathroom, shoulder-deep in soothing bath salts which I kept well-stocked in the cabinet underneath the sink. The aroma was pleasant, sending me to a place somewhere far away to where Felix’s were strictly prohibited.
For the entirety of the day, Felix had been doing his best to get on my nerves. I cooked him breakfast and lunch, cleaned his disgusting laundry, and even held my tongue when he requested I drive him to the mattress store because the guest bedroom was unsatisfactory. But it had always been like this between us, ever since the day I first met Felix and tried my best to make a good impression. Unfortunately, Felix idolized his older brother, deeming any girl unworthy of his time and efforts, including myself. Of course, above anyone else, Felix thought I was the worst possible choice, reminding me every second that his brother deserved someone smarter, richer, and prettier.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated loudly on the edge of the bathtub and I hesitantly glanced at the screen, half-expecting to see Felix’s name displayed like a caution sign. Surprisingly, it was Chan who had sent me a message to ask where I was, which meant Felix had lied through his teeth and said I’d gone somewhere.
To Channie
Bathroom.
It was only a moment or two later when the door opened and Chan stuck his head inside, offering me a pleasant smile as he locked the door behind him. “You’re home early,” I remarked, vacantly staring up at the ceiling.
“It’s Saturday night,” Chan reminded me. “I thought the three of us could go out to eat.”
I groaned in protest. “What about takeout?”
“You love going out,” Chan said. “I’ll even let you pick the restaurant.”
“I have way too many problems right now,” I said. “I’m avoiding them by staying in the water for as long as I can.”
“Sweetie,” Chan said, taking a step closer. “You should’ve waited for me.”
“Why?” I asked him airily. “You’re one of those problems.”
“Me?” Chan asked, choosing to sit down on the edge of the tub. “What did I do wrong?”
“No arguments tonight,” I said, letting out a deep sigh. “This is the most relaxed I’ve been all day.”
“Aren’t you being overdramatic?” Chan asked, reaching down to flick a trail of water in my direction. “I was in surgery for 6 hours today.”
“Yeah? Well, I’ve dealt with Felix since 9 this morning.”
“Ah,” Chan sighed. “I figured it had something to do with my brother.”
“Just forget it,” I whined. “You know we don’t get along.”
“I do know that,” Chan said. “But I wish you both made a better effort. We’re family after all.”
I shivered at the idea of Felix belonging to any family of mine. “You can keep him on your side, then. I grew up as an only child, look at how much better I turned out for it.”
“You told me you had imaginary friends growing up because you were so lonely,” Chan teased.
“Asshole,” I muttered. “That’s sensitive information that I told you in confidentiality. You should know all about patient-doctor confidentiality. Didn’t you have a whole lecture on it?”
“Y/N,” Chan lightly chastised, reaching for a towel on the rack next to the counter. “Get dressed, we’re leaving in an hour.”
“You’ve condemned me to death,” I complained, watching through lidded eyes as he stretched out his arms.
“I’m serious, Y/N, at least try to get along for my sake.”
“That’s all I ever do,” I muttered to his retreating form.
Hwang Hyunjin is a willing accomplice to the devil himself who never misses an opportunity to throw out some lascivious comments about my appearance. He was Felix’s best friend and partner in crime, sharing his goal of making my life as miserable as possible. He was also coming out to eat with us tonight and no matter how much I whined to Chan, he remained adamant that Felix should spend some time with his friends. “He’s only young once,” Chan told me, ignoring the way I glared at him with every ounce of hostility that I could muster.
“Did you paint those pants on, Y/N?” Hyunjin asked the minute he sat down in the backseat next to Felix.
“I did, actually, thanks for the unnecessary observation,” I told him shortly, still focused on the staring contest I was having with Felix in the rearview mirror.
“Don’t mind her, she’s probably on her period,” Felix said and I took in a deep breath because I was very close to turning around in my seat to choke the life out of Felix’s pencil neck.
“How have you been, Hyunjin?” Chan asked, one hand on the steering wheel as he calmly navigated us through the permanent traffic of New York.
“I applied for a job with Amazon,” Hyunjin replied. “I don’t wanna brag, but I definitely nailed the interview.”
“Yeah right,” I muttered under my breath. Hyunjin had the worst people skills in the history of mankind. He was almost as incompetent as Han Jisung, but ten times worse because of his sarcastic attitude.
“You’ll get me Amazon Prime for free, right bro?” Felix giggled and I resisted the urge to mock the sound.
“I’m proud of you, Hyunjin,” Chan said. “I know you worked hard.”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” Hyunjin said. “But the chick who interviewed me was really hot and I think I appropriately swept her off her feet.”
“Big tits?” Felix asked because that’s all those stupid boys cared about.
“Of course,” Hyunjin said. “But I’m still waiting for you, Y/N, whenever you’re ready.”
Felix scoffed. “You could do better than Medusa.”
“How about some music?” I snapped loudly, reaching down for the radio knob to block out the sounds of Felix and Hyunjin’s voices.
Monday mornings were the worst thing to ever happen to mankind next to Lee Felix. I was sipping at my morning coffee, cold now because Felix had spent way too much time ordering me around the kitchen before I left home. But it was better than nothing and I desperately needed caffeine to get through the day. “Morning, Y/N,” Changbin greeted me smoothly, suit well-pressed and fitted to hug his arms and thighs just right.
“Sure,” I said in reply, trudging to my chair in slow motion.
“Are you always this lively in the mornings?” Changbin remarked, leaning against my desk as he looked through his mail.
“Just on Mondays,” I said, booting up my computer so that I could answer the dozens of emails likely waiting for me, most of which would come from annoying sponsors who wanted Changbin to be on their dumb podcast.
“Well, you still look gorgeous,” Changbin said.
My cheeks flushed at his comment. “You still need to call Mr. Kim back, he’s left another voicemail.”
“Just one call?” Changbin smirked, eyes dancing dangerously. “Have you been scaring everyone off, Y/N?”
“I did just as you asked, sir.”
“You don’t have to call me sir,” Changbin chuckled, carefully engrossed in his cell phone now as he graciously returned to his own office.
I shivered as I glanced at my computer screen. Changbin was still as notoriously flirtatious as he had been when we were younger. In fact, it might be worse now that he had finally grown into his sharper features which made him look ridiculously attractive. “I love Chan, I love Chan,” I quietly repeated to myself, even as a distant memory suddenly forced itself back into consciousness.
An 18-year-old Seo Changbin walking inside my lecture hall wearing a dark button-up tucked into the tightest pair of skinny jeans he probably owned. Every eye in that lecture room had suddenly turned to him because he was an irresistible force, impossible to ignore. “Y/N?”
Be cool Y/N, I softly chastised myself as I offered him a friendly smile. “Hi, Changbin.”
It was purely coincidental that Changbin had ended up at the same University as me, but that didn’t stop my fragile teenage heart from declaring it as something akin to fate. “It’s been a while,” Changbin said, pulling out the chair next to mine.
I swallowed hard because my mouth was as dry as a desert. “I didn’t know you were enrolled here.”
“It was my first pick,” Changbin said. “My father is an alumnus.”
“Really?” I asked, ignoring the arrival of the professor in exchange for mapping out every single one of Changbin’s gorgeous features.
“This class is just for gen ed,” Changbin said, pushing a hand through his neatly styled black hair.
“Oh, same for me,” I nodded. “I heard it was pretty easy.”
“Is that right?” Changbin asked while flashing me an award-winning smile. Roll out the red carpets because this boy was cool enough to be in an action film co-starring Tom Holland and Ancel Elgort.
But what were we talking about? “I’m majoring in English.”
“Political Science,” Changbin returned. “And Business.”
I deflated a little because, in comparison to my lousy arts degree, Changbin seemed like a certified genius. He would be educated in the art of entrepreneurship and big money while I struggled to comprehend the meaning of Great Expectations. “Have you met anyone else from high school?”
“Not yet,” Changbin said. “What about you?”
“Well, Bang Chan’s enrolled here too...” I started, only to trail off when I realized that Changbin probably had no idea who Chan was since he never paid attention to him in high school. Actually, Changbin would have been more likely to join the football jocks who liked to steal Chan’s stuff only to tie his underwear to the flagpole outside the gym.
“The nerdy Australian kid?” Changbin chuckled. “That sucks.”
“Oh,” was all I could manage since Changbin obviously didn’t know that Chan and I were friends.
“You don’t hang out with him, do you?” Changbin asked, peering at me closely like I was seconds away from losing the honor of his company.
“We have lunch sometimes,” I said, which was only partially true since I did like to meet up with Chan in the dining hall around 2:00 because it was never crowded. But Changbin didn’t need to know that I had spent the night in Chan’s apartment listening to him record one of his mixtapes because Chan had a newfound interest in music.
“You could do better,” Changbin sighed. “Hang out with me instead. I’ll treat you to the nicest fast food joint on campus.”
My heart was racing, palms clammy as I nodded my head rapidly. “Lunch?”
“Whatever you want, love,” Changbin said, close proximity knocking every rational thought clean out of my head.
It was like my best fantasy coming to life right before my very eyes, and after our lecture ended I asked Changbin to wait for me while I made a phone call to Chan. “Y/N!” came his cheerful voice from the other end. “Guess who got to dissect a liver today?”
I wrinkled my nose at the nasty image. Chan was studying to enter the medical program which meant a lot of his daily life centered around the human body and all sorts of things that could go wrong with it. “Chan,” I whined. “You’re talking to someone who can’t stand the sight of blood.”
“I know,” Chan sniggered. “Does this mean you’re not gonna want to eat lunch with me today? You know I’ll pay, of course, I got a raise at the cafe.”
“Well,” I started, desperately searching for the right words. “I actually have to meet with my professor for this essay I’ve been having trouble with.”
“No problem,” Chan said. “I’ll bring you takeout for dinner. Doesn’t your roommate have practice tonight?”
I glanced back at Changbin with a guilty conscience. Why did Chan have to be so sweet all the time? “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“No liver talk, I promise,” Chan giggled and I hung up the phone before he could make me feel even worse than I already did.
“You want to get some lunch?” Changbin asked with his hands dug inside his pockets as he stood in front of my desk.
“Like, with me?” I asked warily because I wasn’t sure where the line stood on professionalism when it involves eating with an ex-boyfriend.
“Who else?” Changbin said. “I figured we could use a break from the phone calls.”
“I don’t know...” I answered hesitantly because Chan would probably lose his shit if he discovered I went out anywhere with Changbin.
“It’s not a big deal, Y/N,” Changbin said. “My job is to make sure my employees are well taken care of.”
“I guess,” I sighed, reaching down for my purse on the floor. “One lunch together won’t hurt anything.”
But Changbin seemed awfully smug, patiently waiting for me to gather my belongings, stuffing my phone with an unanswered text from Chan inside my side pocket. It’s almost like the universe was conspiring against me, doing its very best to try and force me into the worst situations possible. Here’s an irrational thought: what if Chan happened to decide to go out for lunch today? He might find me with Changbin and I couldn’t think of a worse scenario. Of course, I suppose it doesn’t necessarily have to be Chan who finds us. For example, if his younger step-brother was to suddenly wander in the building at this very moment...
“Medusa!”
Curse you, universe!
“Felix?”
“I brought us lunch!” Felix chirped brightly, holding up a picnic basket as he waltzed right up to my desk with far more confidence than necessary.
I blinked my eyes rapidly, unable to process the idea that Felix was standing in the middle of the company’s lobby. “Is it poisoned?” I asked, trying not to alert him to any possible wrongdoing.
Felix ignored me, turning around to face Changbin with a critical gaze. “Seo? Is that you?”
“Felix,” Changbin acknowledged, frowning as if he was the last person on earth he wanted to see, and I could share the sentiment.
“Fuck,” Felix cursed, taking a step back. “You still look really young. I was surprised when Y/N told me you were her new boss.”
“I didn’t tell you that,” I said, opening the flaps of the basket only to let out a disgruntled sigh when I realized he had only brought a bag of chips and a tray of cookies.
“And what are you doing these days?” Changbin asked.
“Freelance work, mostly,” Felix replied as if he really needed to lie to Changbin about his lack of a suitable occupation.
“I forgot what you majored in,” Changbin said. “It was hard to keep up since you changed your concentration like a dozen times.”
I couldn’t hold back my laugh, even when Felix sneered in my direction. “Philosophy.”
“Interesting,” Changbin said, nodding his head. “I’m actually surprised to hear that. You never settled on anything.”
Seo Changbin needed to be careful because his charm points were dramatically increasing the more he mocked my husband’s step-brother. “I actually just finished my Masters.”
“Really?” Changbin said. “This coming from the same boy who used to party with Hwang Hyunjin at all the Fraternities, even if they were on a different campus.”
“It was just Freshman year,” Felix defended himself.
“Well,” Changbin started, “I’m glad to hear about your graduation. Y/N and I were actually just about to head out to lunch.”
I winced at his words, withering under Felix’s accusing watch. “Is that so?”
Changbin carefully studied the two of us. “I’ll be waiting in my car, Y/N.”
I grabbed my bag while pushing the picnic basket back in Felix’s direction. “I swear to god if you tell Chan about this, I’ll castrate you in your sleep.”
“We’ll see about that,” Felix growled, and that was the moment I realized that I was treading very dangerous waters.
Changbin drove us to a charming restaurant about two blocks away from the main company building. He pulled right up to the sidewalk, handing his keys to the waiting carhop as if he had done this about a thousand times. But I guess that was pretty likely considering just how well-off he was ten years later. “Impressive,” I remarked to him, reluctantly accepting his outstretched hand as he helped me out of his car.
“Yeah?” Changbin said, offering me a wink. “Maybe I’m trying to impress you.”
“You’re a dangerous man, Seo Changbin,” I told him, bowing slightly to the waiting doorman who kindly ushered us inside.
This was why the pretty girls always lusted after Changbin. When we were both still in high school, Changbin epitomized the phrase #BoyfriendGoals because he was super attractive, incredibly smart, and athletic enough to earn himself a shining record after an impressive baseball season. And I was just as mindless as the rest of the zombies chasing him down in the parking lot at school or squealing his name in the hallways between classes.
“I eat here all the time,” Changbin assured me, flashing the hostess a dazzling smile while handing her his card.
“Right this way, Mr. Seo,” the hostess curtsied, ignoring the long line of waiting patrons who apparently didn’t matter as much as my new boss as she led us to a private table. “Your waitress will be with you shortly.”
“Thank you,” I said politely, eyes wide as I took in the gorgeous chandelier dropping from the high-domed ceiling.
“Close your mouth, Y/N,” Changbin said. “You act like you’ve never been somewhere like this before.”
“Not exactly,” I said because the nicest place Chan had ever taken me was an Olive Garden and that had ended poorly after Chan accidentally knocked his shoulder against a poor server on his way back to the table causing an avalanche of salad and breadsticks.
“Bang should be taking you to places like this all the time,” Changbin commented, perhaps a casual observation to anyone else.
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Chan and I prefer to keep things low-key.”
“Should I have taken you to Applebees instead?”
“How funny.”
“I’m kidding, Y/N,” Changbin said, reaching down to adjust the buttons on his coat sleeve. “You’ve changed a lot since college.”
“Since we dated you mean?” I asked with an arched brow.
“Well,” Changbin started, “if you want to think of it like that.”
“Hmmm,” I briefly meditated, studying Changbin’s expression carefully. “How else should I think about it.”
Changbin tsked, raising a hand to signal for a nearby waiter. “I don’t mean to suggest anything.”
The waiter approached our table with purposed steps. “How may I help you, sir?”
“A wine menu?” Changbin asked, nodding generously when the waiter returned with his requested selection.
“You make a beautiful couple,” the waiter gushed while he pulled out a thick leather wallet, flipping to a fresh page.
“Oh! We’re not-”
“-A bottle of pinot noir, please,” Changbin said, returning the menu without bothering to correct the waiter’s observation.
“Right away, sir,” the waiter agreed.
I held my tongue until he was further away, bothering an older couple who were probably complaining about something to do with their food. “Changbin,” I warned him. “You should be careful.”
“It was a harmless mistake,” Changbin said. “How can I possibly come between you and Bang?”
I worried my bottom lip between my teeth because it sounded less like a dismissal and more like a challenge.
The sun was already setting by the time I returned home thanks to one of Changbin’s business partners who refused to leave the office building until they had a chance to speak to him. I was low on patience, tired from an exhausting day of dealing with telemarketers insisting our company needed the latest software for our clientele. There was only a limited number of times I could tell somebody to fuck off before inevitably shouting into the other end that I was in no way interested in whatever useless product they were trying to shove down my throat, complete with some kind of scammy discount and an opportunity to be represented on their website.
To make matters worse, my feet were blistered from wearing heels all day and my shoulders ached from slouching over my computer to answer emails and monitor the progress of Changbin’s latest project. My only saving grace was the message Chan had sent me earlier telling me that he had already clocked out at work, which meant I could probably guilt him into giving me one of his trademarked messages. I mean, all I wanted to do was curl up next to Chan in bed and sleep for the rest of the day.
But it looked like my desires would have to wait because as soon as I unlocked the door to the house, I could immediately sense that something was wrong. Taking a deep breath, I cautiously walked into the living room to find Chan and Felix busy with some kind of video game on our HD TV, volume high until I walked in the room. Chan waited until I called his name, reaching for the remote to mute the TV before tossing his controller onto the coffee table. From across the room, Felix’s eyes were alight with mischief.
“How was work today?” Chan asked with a tone that I only ever heard when my husband was feeling particularly pissed off about something, and I had a sneaking suspicion it involved me in some capacity.
“It was fine,” I said, deciding to play it safe while I kept my complaints to myself.
Felix smirked in my direction, whistling to himself as he reached for his game controller. “Felix told me something interesting today.”
“Oh did he?” I asked, wondering just how much pain Felix could tolerate if I marched over to him right now and hit him with an umbrella.
“He said he tried to have lunch with you.”
“I was busy.”
“With Seo Changbin?”
Felix was definitely going to die tonight. That little snitch deserved every ounce of punishment I was starting to formulate inside my head. “He invited me out instead.”
“I got that,” Chan snapped and I knew my husband was in a foul mood. I’m talking about the kind of mood that usually sent me scampering for the safety of the bunkers. Like the time some drunk asshole rear-ended Chan’s precious convertible while we were sitting in downtown traffic. Or the time when we were Freshmen in college and Chan confronted Changbin after finding out that he had been cheating on me.
But this time the problem was me which meant I couldn’t just hide from Chan and wait for things to go back to normal. “Honey,” I attempted to reassure him. “It was just lunch.”
“Yeah? But that doesn’t seem like keeping things strictly professional to me, Y/N.”
“He’s my boss now, I can’t just tell him no.”
“Actually, you can,” Chan disagreed, now refusing to look at me. “How would you like it if I ate with my new superintendent?”
“Depends on if she offered to pay or not.”
“Y/N.”
“Chan,” I pouted. “I’m really sorry! He just surprised me.”
“It makes me wonder what else you might be doing with him,” Chan snarked.
Meanwhile, Felix calmly continued to play his video game while wearing the biggest shit-eating grin. “Are you accusing me of having an affair?”
“Why not?” Chan shrugged. “Since we’re keeping secrets from each other.”
“It was just one lunch,” I shouted. “He’s never done anything like this before. Most of the time I’m alone in the lobby taking his stupid phone calls.”
“And that’s all I should ever hear about,” Chan growled.
“You’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes before remembering just how much Chan hated it when I did that to him.
“Y/N,” Chan addressed me sternly, deciding to abandon his seat on the couch to crowd me in the foyer. “If this was anyone else, I wouldn’t make it into a bigger deal, but this is someone you used to fuck while running around campus bragging about it to everyone who would listen...which was usually me!”
“He doesn’t mean anything to me,” I said. “I already told you that!”
“You’ve said a lot of things recently,” Chan said. “I’m not sure what to believe anymore.”
“Yeah? Well, it’s your brother’s fault since he’s always looking to cause a fight between us,” I said, glaring at Felix while he continued to play the part of the perfect little angel that Chan always considered him.
“Don’t drag Felix into this, he has nothing to do with anything!”
“Oh, don’t be stupid, Chan,” I huffed. “We fight more about Felix than we do about Changbin.”
“Stupid?!”
Oh, Jesus, Y/N, when are you going to learn to watch your big mouth? “Channie, I’m tired of fighting all the time. I feel like we’re always fighting.”
“Yeah? Well, you give me a lot of reasons to stay mad at you.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I groaned. “We never fought this much when we were dating.”
“Is that so? You think our marriage is the problem?”
I froze at his implications. At this point, Felix might as well drag out a bucket of popcorn because this was probably the most interesting drama he had watched all year. “Chan, you can’t honestly believe that.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Chan said, shaking his head. “But maybe I’ll give you some time to think about it.”
“Chan!” I whined, fighting back tears as I watched him turn his back on me. For the first time since we had met, Chan was leaving an argument unresolved, choosing to lock himself away in our bedroom while I struggled to keep myself together in the middle of our foyer.
“Goodbye, Y/N,” Felix whispered into the silent room, waving his fingers at me because he had gotten exactly what he wanted.
Felix’s birthday often turned into a multiple-day affair because he always wanted the best that money could buy. Since Chan and I still weren’t speaking to one another, Chan was taking the brunt of party preparations which meant Felix was practically over the moon with excitement. And why shouldn’t he be? He hit the metaphorical jackpot because he somehow got me in the doghouse while he soaked up all of Chan’s attention.
“Y/N,” Felix whined. “My toast is burnt!”
“Sorry,” I murmured softly, taking his plate even though the bread looked perfectly fine. Meanwhile, Chan chose not to say a word, heavily engrossed in his laptop and doing his absolute best to pretend I was invisible.
“What about this, Felix?” he asked, tilting his laptop screen so that his brother could see whatever it was that probably cost hundreds of dollars. On the other hand, I couldn’t even find the courage to ask Chan for his credit card so that I could replace the broken stool at our counter.
“That’s perfect, Channie!” Felix grinned, hanging off his brother’s shoulder like the little pest he was.
Our Amazon shopping cart was steadily filling with Felix’s party supplies. But I guess it was just Chan’s account now since he had changed the password without telling me. I tried to order a new curtain for the bathroom, only to repeatedly watch the warning screen pop-up with every refresh of the page. “Who do you want at your party?” Chan asked Felix.
“Hyunjin, Jisung...” Felix started, listing out each name while I winced every time because our house would probably end up completely trashed at this rate.
“Whatever you want,” Chan said, apparently forgetting the last time Jisung came over only to break one of my grandmother’s expensive vases. Since it was my stuff, he probably didn’t care. “I have to leave soon,” Chan said, wordlessly clicking on the ‘place your order ’ button before logging off.
“Will you be gone all day again?” Felix pouted, jutting out his bottom lip and offering his very best puppy dog eyes.
23-years-old my ass.
“I’ll do my best,” Chan promised his brother. “Do you need anything while I’m out.”
“More chocolate cereal?”
10-years-old more likely.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Chan cooed to Felix, ruffling his hair before snatching his coat from my outstretched hand, refusing to even acknowledge my existence.
Felix waited until Chan was gone to lean in across the counter. “You two are so cute, Medusa.”
“I fucking hate you,” I said, aggressively attacking the grease stain on the stainless steel pot I was currently washing.
“Whatever,” Felix shrugged. “Will you ask Minho to come to my birthday party?”
“There’s not a fucking chance in hell that I’m asking him,” I snapped.
“Why?” Felix posed the question as if he felt absolutely no shame. “I like Minho and I want him to be there.”
“Fuck off,” I retorted, drying my hands against the rough texture of the dishtowel.
Felix sniffled, reaching for his phone and holding it up to his ear. “Channie? Yeah, Y/N was being really mean to me-”
“-Jesus, fine, I’ll ask him,” I quickly interrupted the little Devil. “How old are you turning again?”
“24!” Felix grinned.
“Then act like it,” I muttered while dialing Minho’s number.
There were only two rings before he answered. “It’s too early on Saturday for this bullshit, Y/N,” came Minho’s pleasant voice from the other end.
“You sleep too much anyway,” I returned. “I have something to ask you.”
“It better be pretty fucking important.”
“Will you come to Felix’s stupid birthday party this Friday?” I asked him, ignoring Felix’s bright smile as he tried to listen in on our conversation.
“Did you buy booze?”
“I’m sure Chan will buy the little bastard all the booze he wants,” I said, pushing Felix out of the way.
“What time?” Minho asked. “I’m a very busy man, Y/N.”
“The hell you are,” I snorted. “9:00 PM. Don’t be late! I’ll be the pathetic piece of trash sitting on the couch alone.”
“It’s about time you learn, Y/N,” Felix remarked, giggling when I threw the dishtowel at him.
“Still in trouble with hubby?” Minho asked. “I hear you have to stay separated for a year before the courts grant divorces these days.”
“You’re an asshole,” I said. “Should I put you down on the guest list?”
“Of course,” Minho said. “Underlined because I’m a VIP”
I hung up on him before he could dig his grave any deeper.
“Don’t burn that,” Felix scolded me, hovering by my side to play the part of Gordon Ramsay while I sweated my ass off to cook everything on his stupid party menu.
“It’s not burnt,” I grumbled.
“I hope you’re not wearing that to my party,” Felix said, casting a critical eye over my outfit.
I reached down to adjust the waistband of my skirt. “What’s wrong with it?”
“This is a classy party, Y/N, and you look like a hooker.”
“Go help your brother or something,” I said, doing my best to be nice since it was Felix’s birthday. I could manage some form of kindness even if he didn’t deserve it.
“Chan’s fine,” Felix waved me off even though I was certain I saw Chan struggling to hang up lights on the balcony just moments ago when I went to change my clothes.
I glanced at the clock above the stove. “Your fellow party animals will be here soon.”
“You’re not cool enough for those references,” Felix told me as he straightened his tie.
“I wasn’t trying to be,” I said, wiping my forehead with a nearby towel. My makeup was probably smeared but I didn’t care. Who was I hoping to impress anyway? The only person I dressed up for was Chan and he could care less about my appearance.
And it was only a few minutes later when the doorbell started to ring. I took a deep breath to try and reassure myself that I could make it through tonight without another Advil. “Someone’s here!” Felix squeaked, knocking his shoulder against mine in his haste to answer the door.
“No matter who it is, I’ll still be in hell,” I muttered, closing my eyes when I recognized Hyunjin’s voice mixing with Felix’s.
“Y/N!” Hyunjin sang, poking his head in the kitchen as if he owned the place. “There you are! Looking all pretty for us.”
“That was the goal,” I half-heartedly quipped back, turning off the stove once I declared Felix’s stupid Tteok-bokki cooked enough.
“Your legs look good,” Hyunjin said, abruptly leaning in closer. “Are you even wearing anything under that skirt?”
“Hyunjin!” Felix shouted his friend’s name from the living room. “Come check out the decorations.”
Hyujin blew a kiss in my direction, tossing me a poor excuse for a wink. “Bye, Y/N!”
Maybe one more Advil wouldn’t hurt.
The party was in full swing by the time Minho finally arrived, greeting Felix with some kind of cheesy handshake. It was too late for me and I had already resigned myself to the futon of isolation in the living room, mourning the loss of one of my good dishes thanks to Han Jisung deciding to request something fancier than our regular set. “Sorry, Y/N,” Jisung had apologized. “I’m sure you can easily replace it.”
“Yeah, I’m sure my dead grandmother has another lying around somewhere,” I snarled in his direction, ignoring his wide-eyed look of disbelief as I searched for the broom.
Minho eventually finished his conversation with Felix, offering me a sympathetic look while occupying the last remaining chair. “Y/N?”
“Oh, I’m doing just fine,” I told him.
“You look miserable,” Minho informed me, throwing up his feet on my glass coffee table even though I had told him countless times before to keep his dirty socks on the floor.
“Chan hates me,” I said. “Felix is happy.”
“Ah,” Minho nodded. “Trouble in paradise?”
“It’s all Felix’s fault,” I sniped. “He found out I went to lunch with Changbin and told Chan because he knew it would lead to an argument.”
“He still doesn’t like you?” Minho snorted as if the idea were amusing.
“Felix has hated me since the beginning of time. He was brought to this Earth to cause me misery.”
“I’m sure that’s an exaggeration,” Minho said. “Where is Chan, anyway?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “If he wasn’t with Felix, then you might want to check the balcony. I think I saw him sneaking the Advil bottle out there earlier.”
Minho snickered. “You don’t even realize it, but you two are grossly similar. I’m sure Chan would have preferred a quiet dinner out somewhere.”
“Well, Felix always gets what he wants,” I said. “It’s been this way since high school.”
Minho considered me for a moment. “In his defense, Chan has always been Felix’s best friend. They’ve been attached at the hip since they were kids, but then you came into the picture. Suddenly, Chan isn’t as interested in spending all his time with Felix any more.”
“Are you saying I need to find Felix a girlfriend?”
“Y/N,” Minho said softly. “I’m just saying, maybe you need to think about things from Felix’s perspective for once. You were an only child, so you can’t understand what it means to share a close relationship with a brother.”
“Hmm, well you’re like a brother to me,” I teased him.
“Ugh,” Minho gagged. “You’ve had my dick in your mouth before, Y/N, please never say that again.”
“I was trying to be sweet,” I said. “But you ruined it.”
“Did I?” Minho smirked, glancing up at something behind me. “Are you having a good time, Felix?”
“We’re out of beer,” Felix interrupted, face suddenly mere inches from mine.
“You shouldn’t drink like a fish.”
“Medusa,” Felix tried again, holding out a ring of car keys. “Make yourself useful and buy us some more beer.”
I rolled my eyes but acquiesced. “Whatever you want, your majesty.”
I hated winter in New York City because the sidewalks were icy all the time and I was constantly in danger of rolling my ankle. Nevertheless, I tolerated the snow and wind by trading my heels for rain boots and wrapping my body in the thickest coat I owned. Normally, I might consider walking to the convenience store, but tonight I knew my fingers would be nothing but frozen icicles if I attempted that perilous journey.
Thankfully, the traffic was fairly light this late at night which allowed a relatively quick drive to the store, parking my corvette at the sidewalk. I walked inside with a muffled greeting to the store attendant, searching down the aisle to where the beer was stocked in the freezers. “He didn’t even tell me what he wanted,” I scoffed, deciding on the expensive Corona from the bottom shelf since Felix always liked things more when they cost a lot of money.
“Having a party?” the store attendant joked, accepting my debit card after ringing up the cases.
“Something like that,” I said, wondering if that was always his assumption if someone bought more than one bottle of the nasty smelling beverage.
Meanwhile, it had started snowing again when I walked back outside, popping the trunk to store the beer until I finally returned home. I switched on the ignition and turned on the heat to its fullest setting before sitting back in my seat to wrap my arms around myself, fighting off a series of chills. The action reminded me of Junior Year when Chan and I used to make late-night trips to the gas station near his apartment complex. We’d buy all sorts of unnecessary snacks, driving back together because we had planned a movie marathon of Harry Potter. Chan always complained about the films I liked, but he watched them anyway because he knew I enjoyed them.
I came to a stop at a red light, frowning when I noticed that nobody was coming in either direction. “Change already,” I ordered the traffic light as if it could possibly accommodate my request.
“I’ll teach you patience, Y/N,” Chan once told me after we waited nearly an hour in a heavy downpour outside the comic book shop because he just had to have some kind of rare edition figurine.
The traffic light eventually turned green and I rolled out into the intersection, never noticing the reckless SUV until mere seconds before it crashed into the side of my car.
I had the worst luck in the world when it came to relationships. First, there was my tired rendezvous with Minho in high school, blowing my best friend in the bathroom because he’d always fuck me with his fingers afterward. Then, there was that slimy bastard Seo Changbin who I willingly gave my virginity to, thinking he was the love of my life. That was before I found out he was cheating on me with some sleazy cheerleader thanks to a couple of photos surfacing on Facebook. My heart was instantly broken, pride in shambles as I spent an entire week hiding out in my dormitory ignoring all phone calls and text messages as I cried over a boy who never deserved my attention in the first place.
I plucked a few strands of grass from the ground next to my feet, savoring the first taste of sunlight I had allowed myself since that unfortunate discovery. Who the hell did Seo Changbin think he was anyway? Playing with my heart like that as if it meant absolutely nothing to him.
At least I wasn’t sad anymore, having spent enough time crying over the destructive boy. Now, all I could think about was smacking that stupid smug grin off his face while thoroughly purging my built-up frustrations...“Y/N?”
I turned around quickly at the sound of Chan’s voice, rising to my feet to brush the loose grass and dirt from my jeans. “Channie,” I said, nervously wringing my hands in front of me. Chan was probably mad at me since I had been ignoring him all week.
“Are you okay?” he asked instead, tone surprisingly gentle as he stopped in front of me.
“Not really,” I told him honestly.
“I didn’t think so,” Chan said, features hardening. “I’ll beat the shit out of Seo for you.”
I shook my head. “That won’t do any good.”
“But if it makes you feel better,” Chan said, reaching out to delicately swipe his thumb under my eyes. “You aren’t sleeping.”
It was more of a statement rather than a question, but I still felt the need to reassure him. “I promise that I’m okay.”
“You don’t have to lie to me,” Chan said, offering me a kind smile. “I can tell, you know?”
“Yeah you’re good at that,” I groused.
“I’m pretty good at a lot of things when it comes to you,” Chan admitted, eyes holding a pure kind of affection as they appraised me.
“I’m glad I have you,” I said, letting out a sigh as I allowed my head to rest against the center of his chest. “You don’t think I’m stupid for trying things out with Changbin?”
“You’ve always liked him,” Chan said with a bitter tone that sounded more like a jealous lover rather than a friend.
I chose not to say anything. “I hope the two of them make each other miserable.”
Chan chuckled. “Is this your form of revenge?”
“I don’t think it’ll work out in my favor,” I said, pressing myself even closer to Chan, pausing when my hand drug across his stomach. “Holy shit, Channie, you weren’t kidding about the gym.”
“Did you not believe me?”
“Who are you trying to impress?” I grinned, propping my chin against his sternum to make it easier to look into his eyes.
“It’s always been the same person,” Chan said vaguely, dimples on display as he considered me. “I hope Seo didn’t destroy your faith in relationships.”
“It wouldn’t be entirely his fault,” I sighed. “All my relationships have been complete failures.
“Y/N,” Chan whispered, brushing a light kiss across my forehead. “Maybe it’s because you’ve never tried the right guy.”
The memory was laced with something warm, an association that stood in stark contradiction to my current condition, slowly opening my eyes to a pulsing room, somehow much too bright for my pupils to adjust. Was I alive? I wondered because I couldn’t really feel anything which was certainly disarming. But then there was a familiar smell, rancid and burning, and it made me feel like I was definitely not in any sort of happy afterlife. There was also the problem of the blurry figure slowly coming into focus next to me, fiddling with an array of wires twisting together with the sounds of a machine distantly clicking in the background. I watched through hooded eyes as the now perceivable person in question handled an impressively large needle, pinching my skin painfully at the juncture of my elbow.
“Han Jisung,” I began, startling him from where he was checking the IV. “Just put a fucking needle into my arm. What hellish realm have I descended into?”
“Y/N!” Jisung squealed loudly, leaning down to press a sloppy kiss against my forehead.
“What the hell was that for?”
“For not dying,” Jisung sighed in relief. “When you came in, there was nothing but blood and glass everywhere!... Oh, and Chan may or may not have a fine against him for beating the living shit out of the asshole that hit you.”
“Why are you so loud?” I groaned, palming my forehead because the room was still swimming into focus. “What happened?”
“You probably don’t remember,” Jisung said. “It was a pretty bad concussion, but you were in a car accident.”
“I was?” I questioned, struggling to recall anything past a few minutes ago when I first realized that incompetent Han Jisung was sticking pointy objects into my veins.
“Chan was so upset,” Jisung said. “He wanted to do the surgery, but the superintendent wouldn’t let him.”
“Surgery?” I repeated. “I had surgery?”
“Cuz’ of your ribs,” Jisung said quietly as if finally realizing that he probably shouldn’t be saying all this to me at once, especially if the persistent beeping of the heart monitor was something to be concerned about.
“What’s wrong with my ribs?” I asked, somewhat panicking as I felt down my chest, noticing the thick bandage wrapped around my upper body.
“Chill, Y/N,” Jisung placated, reaching around me to adjust the monitor. “Now I can’t get an accurate reading!”
“So sorry to inconvenience you,” I said with a hoarse voice, reaching up to quickly wrap my hand around my throat. “Is there something wrong with my voice?”
“Well, you’ve been out for three days so...”
“Three days!”
Now I was definitely panicking, full-on hysteria as the heart monitor loudly detected the irregular contraction of the muscle thundering aggressively against my chest. It was enough to alert the doctor on duty, walking into my room to check on his patient, scolding Jisung harshly as he filled a syringe with a clear liquid. “Don’t worry, Y/N,” he said kindly, injecting the fluid into my IV. “Just relax.”
My eyelids fluttered closed, overwhelmed by a disjointed sense of calm that gradually pulled me back under the current of drug-induced bliss.
“Sweetie.”
My eyes flew open at the sound of his voice, the best wake-up call in the whole world. I slowly turned my head to the side, taking in the sight of my disheveled husband, eyes blood-shot with heavy dark bags haunting tight circles against his pale skin. “Channie?”
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Chan sniffled, fresh tears swelling his cheeks as he leaned in closer to grip tightly to my hand. “It’s all my fault.”
I considered him closely, wondering what he could possibly mean by accepting blame for whatever was causing him obvious pain. I faintly remember Jisung telling me about am accident, but it was difficult to really think back any further, like a wall had enclosed around my brain, refusing to allow anything else to come into consciousness. But Chan didn’t need to cry, he was usually the best part of my life, waking up in bed together to share sweet kisses or eagerly waiting for him to come home and swoon over my newest K-Drama obsession. “Why are you sad?” I asked him, reaching out to do my best and wipe away those nasty tears.
“You wouldn’t answer your phone,” Chan cried, heart-wrenching sobs that broke my heart with every heavy inhale. “I didn’t know where you were.”
“Is that why you’re upset?” I asked, wiping away a few mischievous curls that had wandered into his eyes.
“I found you in the intersection,” Chan whispered. “And the car...” he trailed off with a choking gasp as if the details were too horrific to describe.
“I’m here now, Channie,” I said, desperate to relieve his sadness. “I didn’t go anywhere.”
Chan nodded furiously, pressing a wet kiss to the back of my hand. “I can’t lose you like that, sweetie.”
“Well, I plan to stick around for a while,” I said, earning me a half-smile in return. “Channie,” I whispered, glancing around the room conspiratorially. “Is there anything good to eat in this place?”
This time Chan did laugh and it was the best medicine I could possibly have.
“Vitals?” Chan asked, lingering around the poor nurse who clearly wasn’t expecting this much attention over one patient when she clocked in this morning.
“I already checked them,” the nurse informed him, writing down something on the chart clipped to the edge of my bed. I sipped my water as I watched the two of them, wondering if Chan had been this overbearing the entire time.
“Temperature?”
“98 degrees.”
“Blood pressure?”
“122/75”
“Respiration?”
“Chan,” I whispered softly, immediately drawing my husband’s attention who was at my side in an instant. “I think the nurse knows how to do her job.”
The poor woman shot me a grateful smile as she re-clipped my chart, hurrying out of the room as if she couldn’t possibly escape fast enough. “Sorry,” Chan said, taking his seat next to me. “I’m just worried.”
“I get discharged tomorrow,” I told him. “Pretty sure that means I’m just fine.”
“But your leg,” Chan whined, fussily messing with the large cast, tucking the blankets in securely.
“It’ll heal,” I said, frowning as I picked at the squishy jello the nursing staff had brought in earlier. “Isn’t there anything else to eat?”
Chan tsked. “That’s good for you, Y/N. It’s full of necessary vitamins.”
I should have known better than to ask my doctor husband if I could possibly have something that actually had flavor to eat. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, Chan refused to waver from the nasty daily meals I was brought, much to my disappointment. “I’d kill for a burger.”
“Too much fat,” Chan said, turning down the idea before I could possibly try to negotiate.
“It physically hurts me to eat,” I tried. “I think they’re secretly plotting my death.”
“Y/N,” Chan scolded lightly. “There’s a reason why we serve this to patients, alright?”
I frowned at him but shoved a spoonful of the nasty substance in my mouth, earning me a pleased smile in response. “Happy?”
“You can have better food tomorrow,” Chan said, pausing as he reached down to check his phone notifications. “Minho is here,” he grumbled. “I guess I’ll go get him from the lobby before he gets lost.”
“Thank you, darling,” I chirped, accepting his brief kiss.
“I’ve seen worse,” Minho declared, ignoring Chan’s disbelieving scoff.
“You obviously weren’t here when she was first brought in,” Chan growled to him.
“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Minho asked, disregarding Chan who had gone back to check the dozens of machines somehow monitoring my every possible bodily function.
“Hungry,” I grimaced, pointing to my discarded container.
Minho lifted it curiously, bringing it his nose before he let out an unattractive grunt. “Is this garbage?”
“Don’t encourage her,” Chan said, reaching for my chart for the millionth time that day. “I’ll be right back, Y/N.”
“Okay,” I said, rolling my eyes once his back was turned.
I waited until Chan was gone before desperately reaching out for Minho. “You’ve got to help me, Minho! I can’t stand another day of jello and mashed potatoes. Get me a Big Mac and I’ll give you the number of one of my work acquaintances.”
Minho raised an interested brow. “Scale?”
“Oh, she’s definitely an 8...please!”
“That’s impossible to turn down, Y/N,” Minho grinned. “Give me ten minutes.”
I snatched his sleeve before he could walk away. “Make sure Chan doesn’t see.”
“So ask Han Jisung to fuck something up, got it.”
“You’re my best friend in the entire world. The rest of my life will be spent in your servitude.”
Minho offered me a brief salute and I solemnly nodded my head while ignoring the way my stomach growled.
It was growing dark outside and I’m pretty sure Jisung had accidentally given me too much of whatever pain medicine I had been prescribed. I could barely keep my eyes open as Chan settled next to me on his chair. “Y/N,” he said softly, picking at an invisible string on his suit pants. “I want to talk to you about the fight we had.”
My exhaustion vanished in a flash. “Okay,” I said, even though I had been hoping Chan would just forget that the fight even happened.
“I owe you an apology,” Chan said. “For acting like a jealous prick. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”
“It’s my fault too,” I said. “I know how you feel about him, but I still went out anyway.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Chan said, swallowing down the lie even though I could always read him like a book. “But every time I think about Seo Changbin, I can’t help but remember Freshman year.”
“You act like he broke your heart instead,” I tried to joke, but Chan was everything but amused.
“Yeah, he did break your heart, Y/N, and I’ll never forgive him for it. He was an arrogant bastard back then, and I’m sure that hasn’t changed much.”
“Not really,” I agreed, recalling our prior lunch arrangement.
“And I’ll never be okay with the fact that you work with your ex-boyfriend, but since you love the job so much, I can’t possibly fight with you anymore,” Chan said. “I should trust you as my wife.”
“I’m not remotely interested in Changbin,” I said. “It just sucks that he’s got good connections.”
“But if he tries anything on you...”
“Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “I would never do anything to hurt you, even if his thighs look super good these days.”
“Y/N.”
“I know, Channie,” I giggled, reaching for his hand. “Trust me, alright? I don’t plan to work there forever. Fingers crossed for a promotion to the publisher.”
“I’ll pray every night if I have to,” Chan said. “As for Felix...”
“Don’t worry about him,” I said. “I know that I should try harder to get along with Felix.”
“It’s a two-way street,” Chan countered. “I’ve spoken to him about everything.”
“You have?” I wavered. “What did he say?”
“Well, he feels really bad about the accident,” Chan said. “I think he realizes how much better things would be if you guys were on friendlier terms.”
“He really looks up to you,” I said, recalling Minho’s words from before. “I hope he doesn’t feel like I’m trying to steal you away.”
“Felix and I have always been close,” Chan said. “We both had a hard time moving here from Australia. But at the end of the day, we could rely on each other..”
“High school wasn’t very good to either of you,” I said.
“Well, except for you of course,” Chan said, attempting a smile.
“They were mean to you, Channie,” I said, “and you didn’t deserve any of it.”
“I’ve gotten over that,” Chan insisted. “But Felix always took everything harder than me. He wasn’t very social until college.”
“He should have stuck to being an introvert,” I said. “Look at the kind of friends he ended up with.”
“Are you saying Hyunjin is a bad influence?”
“Have you been around for our interactions?
“I’ve definitely noticed, Y/N. Remember what happened that one time when we went camping-”
“Anyways,” I loudly interrupted. “It seems like we both have a lot of things to work on.”
“But that’s why we talk about it,” Chan said, pressing a soothing kiss to the wrinkled crease of my forehead. “That’s what married couples do, right?”
“Ah, Channie, when did you become a walking cliche?”
“Should I be more serious, then?”
“You’re getting there with the doctor’s jacket.”
“Really?” Chan asked, sitting back in his chair. “Is this your way of asking us to try some kind of kinky roleplay?”
“I don’t know, but it might be interesting. Can I call you Dr. Bang?”
Chan was positively beaming. “You can always call me Daddy instead.”
“Darling, I think they accidentally gave you my prescription of morphine.”
If anyone were to ever ask me, then I’d tell them that signing hospital discharge papers was about as difficult as applying for a loan. “How many more are there?” I wondered, scribbling a messy signature at the bottom of the last sheet Jisung had brought for me to sign.
“I think that’s it.”
“You think?” I snorted, watching Jisung sort through each page carefully like he really had no idea what he was holding.
“Each year they add more shit for the patients,” Jisung explained. “I’m pretty sure they do it just to confuse me.”
“Everything confuses you, Jisung,” I said, patting his arm sympathetically. “Has Chan come in yet?”
“He’s on his way with Felix.”
“Goodie,” I grumbled. “Are you working late today?”
“Someone has to help since Chan insists on taking the day off,” Jisung said.
“I hope they aren’t planning on letting you do the surgeries.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
I kept my mouth shut, deciding to let Jisung live in his deluded fantasy world where he could somehow manage to cure patients of their ailments as opposed to causing them. Unsurprisingly, since the moment I had first met him, Jisung had always been completely sure of himself even if he was whole-heartedly wrong. For example, when we were all seniors in college, Chan refused to speak to Jisung for an entire week after the two of them received an F on their group project. Apparently, Jisung forgot to submit the lab report on time and waited an additional week before approaching the professor to politely ask if he could still bring it to her after class.
“Channie,” I tried to console him. “You know Jisung didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Yeah, but my GPA will still suffer the consequences,” Chan had sulked, whining about how difficult it was to maintain a friendship with Han Jisung.
Yet, when Chan was first hired by the hospital, Chan sent in a very persuasive reference for Jisung, encouraging the higher-ups to offer him a nursing position. The three of us went out to celebrate Jisung’s new job offer, nursing shots of bad vodka while eating rather terrible sushi. “Chan,” a very tipsy Jisung had said. “I love you so much, man.”
“Oi, keep your hands to yourself,” Chan had grouched despite wearing the biggest grin on his face...
“Y/N,” Jisung interrupted my recollection. “I think Chan just got here.”
“Finally,” I sighed. “I thought I would never be able to get the smell of alcohol out of my nose.”
“Thank God you’re here,” I said the moment Chan and Felix walked into my hospital room. “I’m pretty sure I had to sign my life away to leave this place, but it’s totally worth it.”
Chan rolled his eyes playfully. “I see you’re feeling better this morning.”
“I’ve been better for days,” I said. “But my doctor wouldn’t allow me to so much as breathe the wrong way.”
“Is that so?” Chan asked, reaching down for my discarded bag. “Your doctor sounds like a real asshole.”
“Yeah, but he’s pretty hot. I’d totally fuck him if I wasn’t already married.”
“It sounds like you have a thing for doctors?” Chan asked. “Does this husband of yours know that?”
“He probably does,” I said. “But I feel like he’ll probably leave me to masturbate on my own for months because of this dumb cast.”
“Y/N,” Chan scoffed. “It’s important for you to heal properly.”
I groaned loudly. “Why are you so responsible?”
Chan carefully handed me my bag. “Make sure you have everything. I’m going to talk to your surgeon one more time before we leave.”
It was difficult to prevent myself from protesting, finally realizing just how quiet it was with just me and Felix in the room. “Hi, Felix,” I said, awkwardly adjusting my blankets once Chan had disappeared from sight.
“Y/N,” Felix said, gaze focused on some unidentifiable point on the floor.
“What have you been up to?” I asked, trying to sound cheery because I didn’t like the look of despondence on Felix’s normally bright visage.
“I owe you an apology, Y/N,” Felix said with a vulnerable tone I had never heard from him before. “It’s because of me that you got hurt.”
“Felix,” I hesitated because this was uncharted territory for the both of us, a distant cry from our usual taunting banter. “You don’t need to do that. Everything’s fine now.”
“Your leg,” Felix whispered as an unexpected tear slid down the side of his face.
“It’s just a fracture,” I shrugged. “I’ll be just fine in a few months.”
“Just a fracture,” Felix parroted back, voice thick with emotion. “Why aren’t you mad at me? Because you should be. I’m always getting in your way.”
“Is that what you think?” I asked, surprised to hear Felix’s true feelings. “Felix, you aren’t in anybody’s way. You know I don’t really care that you’re staying with us, especially after you just graduated. I just wish you’d be a little bit more respectful.”
“Because I’ve always been jealous of you, Y/N,” Felix said. “Especially since Chan likes you more than me.”
“Felix, you know that Chan loves you. He would do anything in the world to make you happy.”
“He’s always chosen you over me,” Felix said. “He stopped hanging out with me on weekends in high school, and he even went to the same college as you even though he was accepted into Harvard and Yale.”
I was shocked by Felix’s true feelings, a rare moment of vulnerability that he was choosing to share with me. “Lixie,” I said. “Why have you never said anything before?”
Felix shivered at my use of his nickname. “I didn’t want to. You guys are so happy together and I didn’t want to hurt Chan.”
“Ya! Felix,” I frowned, “your feelings matter too. And if you really feel that way, then we need to talk about it together.”
“I’m just a burden,” Felix gruffed.
“No, you aren’t,” I insisted. “You’re part of our family, and if you’re ever feeling uncomfortable, then you deserve to be heard.”
“You don’t really mean that do you, Y/N?” Felix asked with glistening eyes. “I don’t want you to say these things just to make me feel better.”
“Felix, when have you ever seen me lying to someone just to protect their feelings?” I asked. “I always speak my mind, and this time I’m putting my foot down. When we get home, we’re having a movie marathon, just the three of us. And this weekend, you and Chan can go somewhere together out of town. I’ll have Minho stay with me instead.”
“Really?” Felix asked, swiping a sleeve under his bright red nose.
“We’re in-laws you know,” I said. “That means we look out for one another.”
“Y/N,” Felix giggled and, for once, I didn’t feel the slightest bit annoyed.
“Lee Felix, don’t you ever let me catch you crying like this again, understand?”
Felix nodded, smiling so brilliantly that I was reminded of when we were much younger and he was just an innocent little boy who idolized his older brother.
“Careful,” Chan said, holding the door wide with one hand while keeping a firm grip around my waist.
“I’m not gonna break,” I grumbled, pausing in the doorway as I let out a grateful sigh. It was a huge relief to be back at home and not stuck in that hospital room surrounded by questionable smells.
Chan carefully led me into the living room and I gave him my crutches before collapsing on the futon, ignoring the rigid fabric because I had never been happier to hug one of the matching throw pillows. “Comfortable?” Chan asked, helping me prop my leg up on the coffee table. Meanwhile, Felix lingered in the doorway, grasping my bag tightly between his hands.
“Come join us, Felix,” I said. “You’ll let out all the heat.”
Felix nodded, eyes wide as he locked the door behind him. Chan sent me a curious look as if he wasn’t sure what I was hoping to accomplish by inviting his younger brother into the same room. “I have something for you.”
I clapped my hands together eagerly. “Is it something loaded with carbohydrates and fat?”
“Not quite,” he said, handing me my cell phone. “Seo Enterprises called earlier today. I already contacted them about the accident, but I guess they need to hear from you.”
“Great,” I grimaced, dialing the number from memory. It rang for a few moments, and Chan and Felix were both messing around with the TV, probably trying to figure out what to watch. Because the only thing the two brothers argued about was whether action movies were better than romance.
“Seo Enterprises, this is Eliza speaking how can I help you today?”
“Hi,” I immediately cringed, wondering how many cool points I could possibly lose in one day. “This is Y/N, can I speak to Mr. Seo please?”
“I can transfer you right away,” Eliza spoke promptly as if she had already been prepared to receive my call.
“Y/N!” Changbin’s voice now answered. “I’m glad to hear from you.”
“Yeah, I’ve been having a lot of bad luck recently,” I said. “I guess you know about the accident.”
“I heard,” Changbin said. “How are you?”
“I’m alright,” I said. “But I might need some time away from the company. Apparently, a broken leg is a pretty big deal.”
“Take as much time as you need, Y/N,” Changbin said. “I’ve hired a temporary secretary until you’re ready to come back.”
“I don’t know, Changbin,” I said. “It might take several weeks. Maybe you should just hire a replacement.”
“There’s no need for that, Y/N,” Changbin countered. “I still believe you’re the best person for the job.”
“Well, if you’re sure...” I trailed off, shaking my head furiously at Chan when he held up our used copy of The Notebook.
“I’m definitely sure,” Changbin said. “Call me when you want to come back. We still have a lot of things I want to do together in the future.”
“You’re too indecisive,” Chan said, finally taking a well-deserved seat next to me on the futon.
“And you have terrible taste in cinema,” Felix retorted.
“Yeah? Well maybe we should just let Y/N pick,” Chan suggested, mouthing a sweet kiss against my temple.
“I think Felix should decide,” I said, cuddling up closer to Chan’s side.
“Really?” Felix asked, appearing entirely surprised that I would allow him such freedom.
“Why not?” I sighed happily. “I’ll even watch that weird anime movie if you want.”
Felix scoffed but a faint smile remained as he grabbed the remote. Chan chuckled and leaned down to press another kiss to the top of my forehead. “I’m proud of you, sweetie,” he whispered.
“It’s only because I love you so much,” I said while shrugging indifferently, but Chan could always read through me.
“Hmm, well I love you more,” he said, brushing his fingers through my hair as the opening credits rolled across the screen.
#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#bang chan#chan#chan fanfic#bang chan fanfic#chris bang#chan smut#bang chan smut
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In the Name of Science: Chapter 4
Fandom: Sonic Movie (2020)
Rating: T for unethical experimentation, implied violence and gore, and implied torture
Summary: Tom and Maddie didn’t make it in time to rescue Sonic from Robotnik. Hopefully it’s not too late to save him now. Unfortunately, hope is hard to come by in the labs of the mad doctor himself.
Note: Warning for detailed panic attack.
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When Sonic was seven years old, he’d found a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. It was so small that he was able to hold it in one hand despite his own size, and he’d carefully inched his way up the tree it belonged to, too afraid of dropping it if he moved too fast.
Maybe it was because the chick had been struggling for so long already, but all it was able to do in his hold was weakly bob its head and hold its mouth open, for food or for pity. No sound had come out of it the entire way back to its nest.
The idea had scared Sonic that day, of being too weak or helpless to do anything more than what that baby bird had done. His memory of it had mostly faded beyond subconscious fear.
It’s not subconscious any longer.
He presses up against the back of his cage, feeling the horrible weight of the things around his face and his neck and wanting nothing more than to get them off. But he can’t, because his hands are still stuck together, and he’s so scared, so scared of what the doctor is going to do to him if he tries anyway.
His mouth is clamped shut in a way that makes his teeth not quite lock right. No matter how he tries to adjust it, they remain in that same position and do nothing more than remind him of the muzzle as his cheeks bump against it with every movement.
At least he didn’t bite his tongue.
This isn’t a reassuring thought, because he can’t say it out loud like usual. If he can’t say it out loud, then he can’t reassure himself. It doesn’t feel real if it’s not something he can hear. There’s no guarantee it’s real. There’s no guarantee any of his thoughts are real if he can’t –
If he can’t –
He can’t breathe.
Sonic’s hands fly up to the muzzle and start pulling at it frantically. His panic rises as it refuses to budge. He jerks his head forward, side to side, slams it backwards against the wall and yanks as hard as he can. The tears in his eyes finally spill over as he begins hyperventilating. It won’t come off, it’s not coming off!
Another whine escapes him. He jumps to his feet then takes one step and crashes hard on his face, having forgotten his bound ankles in his frenzy. The clang of metal on metal plus the painful smashing of his snout has him crying out wordlessly, unable to articulate anything beyond fear and distress.
He can’t run and he can’t move and he can’t speak and he can’t breathe and he’s going to die here like this, oh god why did he ever think he’d get out of this alive? He can’t, he can’t, he can’t!
His fingers aren’t really grasping the muzzle anymore. His thoughts are dissolving into static. Black spots dance in his vision like terrible mocking figures.
The teen writhes against the floor, thrashing and kicking mindlessly in his panic attack. At one point his feet connect with the wall so hard it jolts pain up through him like lightning. He gasps and whimpers through clamped teeth. It’s barely enough to snap him back into his body, momentarily. His heart is still trying to break out of his chest and his breathing is erratic and keeping him lightheaded, but he’s more aware of these sensations again.
An image comes to mind. It’s Pretzel Lady standing on her back deck, body straight and arms held in front of her. She’s listening to a recording of ocean waves and chimes. Her breathing is controlled and deliberate. Her eyes are closed.
In desperation, he does the same, trying to repeat the motions he’d watch Pretzel Lady do a thousand times. Breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold. It’s hard; he’s still panting way too fast to really control it. But he keeps trying. In, hold, out, hold.
The static peters out. The black spots disappear. He stops thrashing and instead simply lays there, eyes closed and breathing all he can do to keep the panic at bay. Slowly, very slowly, Sonic relaxes. He’s exhausted, but the worst of the attack is over – for now – and he doesn’t have the energy to think about anything else.
It feels like an eternity later that he stirs from his lethargy. Sitting up sucks and leaves him dizzy, so he leans back against the back of the cage with half-lidded eyes and just…exists. His hands and feet are no longer magnetized together, but he doesn’t remember when that happened. The metal around his mouth isn’t cold anymore. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, and he doesn’t want to think about it, so he stops doing both.
Instead he thinks about Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady. They probably have no idea where he is. Probably don’t even realize he’s been captured. The tears are threatening to spill again, so Sonic wipes his eyes as best he can and tries to turn it positive. He’d saved them from falling to their deaths – a situation he’d caused, but no one was keeping track of that anyway – and now they’re safe back in Green Hills.
If they’re safe, that’s what matters. He’d dragged them both into this mess. It’s only fair they get out even if he doesn’t.
He recycles this thought in his mind like a mantra, as loud as he can manage. It’s no substitute for speaking, but he’s determined to make it work. If he spirals again he doesn’t think he’ll be able to snap out of it.
So he sits against the wall, still and quiet and weary.
……………………………………………………………………..
Robotnik comes striding in a few hours later, the smug sneer on his face implying he knows exactly what was going on earlier.
“Well, well, well. The kick’s really been taken out of you, hasn’t it?” He strokes his mustache and peers into the cage. “Who would’ve thought that all that I needed to calm you down was this?”
A broad gesture is made with his hand towards the entire setup, but they both know what he’s referring to. Sonic curls in on himself.
“Do you want it off?”
The hedgehog makes a bitter, forlorn noise. He doesn’t want to give this man the satisfaction of begging again, but he can’t handle having the muzzle on any longer either. Defeatedly he nods.
“Lovely!” Robotnik snaps his fingers and within an instant a pair of egg drones are hovering above the pen. “No struggling, now, or I’ll take it as a sign that you want the thing to stay indefinitely.”
Sonic shakes his head frantically, his eyes wide and alarmed. He stays as still as he can when the ceiling hatch pops open and the robots drop through. They pull his arms up by his restraints and lift him so he’s dangling the same way he’d been when the muzzle had first been put on.
The scientist’s hand goes for his face, and Sonic stiffens at the action. Fingers grip the muzzle as his other hand reaches behind quills. It pauses just outside of their range.
“We’re going to try an experiment in obedience. I’m going to undo the straps around your head without robotic assistance, and you aren’t going to stiffen your quills while I do so.”
He gives the muzzle a good jerk, causing the teen to flinch violently and whimper a nervous agreement. Satisfied by the answer, Robotnik’s free hand buries itself in blue to find the clasps. It takes about ten seconds and Sonic hates every moment of it. But he manages to keep his quills loose and non-deadly throughout.
The muzzle comes off with a final click and the doctor steps away with it in his hands. Sonic immediately starts panting with his mouth open, his jaw sore and his mind feeling significantly less trapped.
“That wasn’t so difficult, now was it?”
Robotnik gives him a few head pats, earning another flinch. When the hedgehog goes to respond however, he’s met with a smile and a subtle lifting of the muzzle. Paling, his mouth clicks shut. This causes the man to laugh in a way that sounds more like a scoff.
“Ah, so he can learn! Look at the progress we’ve made with just half a day, how remarkable.” The way he says it implies the scientist is praising himself more than Sonic. “Though, I do think that’s more than enough excitement for now.”
The robots release the teen and he collapses into the cage with a grunt. His body isn’t hurting nearly as much as this morning, but it still sucks. The shadow of the mad doctor covers the front as he examines the food and water bottles.
“I see you haven’t touched either of these. No doubt your appetite must be ravenous, wouldn’t you agree?”
Sonic picks himself up and draws his knees to his chest. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to answer, so he simply stays silent to be safe, but his stomach gurgles in response anyway. Robotnik observes him for a long, tense, quiet moment. The expression on his face slowly turns to something terrifying, and he taps the top of one of the bottles.
“Well? Aren’t you going to do something about that?”
The hedgehog stares at him.
“What?” He asks despite himself. The doctor only grins at the confusion, not reprimanding him for the slip-up.
“Eat! Drink! I can’t have my beautiful little specimen collapsing from malnutrition before the fun truly begins. No, no, no, that would be irritating and irresponsible. So go on.”
Sonic blanches as he realizes what is expected of him. He doesn’t want to use those weird, awful nozzles, and he definitely doesn’t want to do it with his captor watching.
“I’m….I’m not hungry.”
Robotnik gives him a look like a scolding parent. “Your biological responses beg to differ. Additionally, I have calculated that your basal metabolic rate is significantly higher than both humans and hedgehogs with your age and weight category. Therefore, it stands to reason that going at least twelve hours or more without sustenance is both dangerous and stupid.”
He leans forward and taps the bottle again.
“That isn’t even placing into consideration the factors of dehydration and recovery from injury. You are undernourished, and I will not accept that. It will skew the results of everything I have planned once you are back to full health. Come here and eat and drink. Now.”
The teen bites his lip but doesn’t move. The scientist’s mustache twitches as his face darkens.
“Do it now, or I’ll have you force-fed. Do you know what that entails?” A bemused stare. “My robots will force a tube down your throat straight to your stomach and feed you that way, mostly with liquids. I’ve heard it is extremely painful and unpleasant, but I’ve never received the opportunity to try it on anything. I highly doubt you’d like to be the first.”
Sonic’s hand flies up to his mouth, wanting to vomit just from the description.
“That’s what I thought. If you don’t want to learn firsthand, I suggest you come over here right now. I won’t ask again.”
Ears pressed flat against his skull, the hedgehog stands shakily and makes his way to the front of the pen. He looks between the bottles and Robotnik, who is watching him without a shred of mercy. Sonic swallows his pride and his angry fear and grabs one of the nozzles.
The food is bland.
……..........................................................................
Dr. Ivo Robotnik, M.D. Log 4
Behavioral training continues with predominantly positive results.
End Log
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A/N: Hi y'all. I promised I wasn't dead, and here I am! Sorry about the long wait. Spring term of college was moved online and I started a new part time job that cut out a lot of free time, so it was a struggle to balance the two and I wanted to focus on keeping my grades up. But now I'm free for the summer (mostly) and I'm ready to rumble!
I reread the fic to catch the tone again but this chapter feels a little off in a way I can't really place. If the characters don't read well please let me know, I'd really appreciate the feedback because it's driving me crazy. Also, we're going to pick up the pace for time passage from here on out. The first day is always the longest, after all.
Hope you enjoy! Please stay safe in these uncertain times and take care of yourselves!
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
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