#Ashlyn is already unhinged

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

What would have happened if Ashley had been transporter to the bayvers insted of prime?

...

You know Optimus's slow descent from hopeful leader, to violent road rager, to bitter mid-life divorcee? Yeah, Ashlyn went through that within the first half hour of realizing what universe she was in.

She's graduated into the wine aunt stage of giving a shit. Afternoons are dedicated to posting "visions" of the future and dragging every character she can still remember online. Girl is listening to a Beethoven remix as she graffiti's the world and Cybetronians that think they're subtle in their vehicle modes.

Both, Optimus and Megatron are a bit more clued into her importance, so the treasure hunt IS ON for the chaotic organic, poor Sam being taken along for the ride (or accidental hijacking- she's not sorry).

Ashlyn is Agent Simmons's nemesis. There is a wall covered in blurry photos, red string, and thumbtacks within Sector Seven and the man is even worse than JA332 with the conspiracy theories. He has no idea the human cryptid and online seer are the same people.

Soundwave knows and is in so much pain. He refuses to come down to earth on principle.

"There's gotta be a connection- there has to be one! Selling alien scrap to a wannabe inventor in Texas, spray painting an unregistered police car, and publically threatening the CEO of Hotchkiss Gould Investments in his own damn lobby! What's next? Knocking on the Hoover Dam?!?!?" "Sir your mother's calling. Apparently, someone put in a delivery order for you at her deli... it's for this address." "Dammit" "Also that blog you've been following updated again. They're saying there's an English Lord with an alien robot butler, and they're part of a secret society that has been observing these aliens for generations. And a bee fought the Nazis." "They're hiding their genius with insanity."

Thank you for reading!

[stinkypeanutbutter]

silly Aiden headcanons because I have no impulse

i probably already done these before in other headcanon posts I made but ermm I’ll do it again 😹

small TW for scars at the end 🗣🗣

AIDEN :

Aiden has the most unhinged playlist ever like oh my giggly goodness we got metal we got rock we got classic we got indie we got pop we got vocaloid Idfk whatever you can think of ( same 😹 )

totally had an immense phase of just everything . Creepy pasta , animation , FNAF , idk any other phases from 2016 help

Probably dated like once or twice , but they weren’t serious at ALL and mostly online . He just said yes because he wanted to be nice since he never really had friends ofc , so why hurt someone you barley know if it means getting a friend ? ( I’m gonna explode 😭 )

I’m not sure when this was actually invented , but he’d probably try and convince everyone to make battery acid candy drinks . ( they all say no 😔 )

Sorta sad headcanon they if no matter how hard to tries to solve a difficult puzzle , and he fails , he just starts silently bawling his eyes out . Cause you know he’s really good at them right ? He can solve them pretty quickly ? So if he’s like absolutely pressured by a bunch of people watching expecting him to win ( or like his friends cause yk they believe in him !!!! ) and he can’t solve the puzzle he’ll be like “ why can’t I solve this why is this hard why am I failing “ or something and then start crying ig ( Yeouchers angst 😿 )

Bro is the heaviest napper ever you can stack things on him for HOURS but the moment he actually sleeps most things can wake him ( if he’s not comfortable at least . He’ll sleep pretty well at sleepovers )

I can’t figure out an art style for him but I updated it so ignore that last drawing it’s grody anyway he sometimes draws people but prefers just random splotches of color . He has extremely stylized art but yk , it’s just ‘ weird ’ according to some people since it’s really . . graphic . Not in a BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD way but very mixed ( if you get what I mean )

Hugs everything when he sleeps you can’t tell me otherwise like you seen his old bed ?? He had NOTHIN so absolutely is he gonna cuddle everything near him

Hates competing . ( idk if he did it before but we’ll see ) like he doesn’t like doing puzzle competitions anymore that much , he just got bored of it and was really kinda forced to do it when he was younger . BUT if it’s in a game against his friends , he’ll probably do it just to help them out cause they always get stuck if Logan can’t figure it out either .

Does that thing with music where If it absolutely hits he just starts spazzing out and dances to it

that one thing where he walks around in a circle talking to himself if he’s really deep in thought ( he could go on for hours so someone has to pull him out to drink water at least )

TONS of posters in his room

Him and Taylor binge shows together , often ask the others to join when they aren’t busy . They totally watch anime ( Tyler calls it childish then gets really invested in uhhhh let’s say full metal alchemist and sport animes like haikyuu or something I can’t think of any he’d like . But I’m gonna make them all watch Ghost stories because it’s funny )

Aidlyn cuddling is mostly done at Aidens house cause his parents rarely go up to check on him ( 😅💥 ) and also he had a ton of blankets for Ashlyn to wrap herself in . He got her a heavy weighted blanket for her birthday one time so when that’s not around she just uses Aiden as a blanket if she’s feeling affectionate ( he’s warm in the winter time and pretty light believe it or not )

Has a medium spice tolerance , eats more then what he can handle like a stinky loser

doesn’t like anyone pointing out his growing hair roots so just don’t talk about it much 😅😅

steals chopsticks from restaurants cause who needs to buy any ??? They’re free if you don’t get caught / hj

sometimes just locks himself up in his room and lays in his bed thinking about life

LOVES drawing his friends ( especially Ash ) in his free time because he rarely draws in front of people , and will make an airplane out of it to throw it over to them . But he has that mentality where “ Everyrhing I make kinda sucks “ so expect to find doodles in the trash or hidden in his room

IPad kid , can’t tel me otherwise .

Loves hover boarding but he kinda sucks at it so he just 🧍🕺☠️ ( falls )

Will ram into everyone in bumper cars , almost sent someone flying ( Lilly , he bought her candy as a sorry )

rarely catches cavities because he actually has really strong teeth and willingly bites down on hard candies ( I do the same thing because I’m impatient 😹 )

Does all his school work at home cause school has too many distractions ( real )

Buys like body foundation to smear onto his legs and arms . He doesn’t want anyone to point out them out , and if they do he just tells them their from skateboarding . It can come off after a few days if he doesn’t reapply , but it’s fine since he does it again in between and would have to reapply anyway . Idk how it works 😿

Anyway who shall I do next ????? Put your answers in the comment section below subscribe like and support my Patreon see you in the next video 😹😹😹☝️☝️💥💥

[jjtheresidentbaby]

no rush if you’re not into it at the moment, but could i get some sbg headcanons of Aiden being a chaotic toddler regressor? hes such a cool dude and seeing as how unhinged he already is i think he’d make a pretty crazy regressor o_O

— 🐝

Little Aiden Clark headcanons

a/n: god you are so right about him being completely chaos. this got long asf sorrrryyy

warnings: don’t like don’t read! (specifically putting this here for the sbg fandom), swearing, talk of canon events/fighting/phantom dimension, slight taylor/ben- pretending the asylum plot dosent exist bc this is my post and i get to play god <3

he regresses pre canon with just ben around to watch him and it’s not as chaotic as he is in canon but it’s a lot

his parents & ben’s leave them home alone all the time or at some random hotel while they’re doing work things so aiden is free to bounce off the walls as he pleases

one time he steals a maintenance cart in the hallway of a hotel and ben nearly has a heart attack trying to stop him from going down the stairs on it

will put anything in his mouth.

he’s peak toddler ‘don’t eat that!’

ben doesn’t talk so instead of telling him not to eat things he has to write it down or he just bangs his hand on the table/available surface til aiden spits it out

sugary cereal enthusiast

since he spent so many mornings at hotel he grew accustomed to eating the provided cereals, ie those small boxes of cereal

him & ben definitely stole half the supply and shoved them into ben’s backpack for later when aiden inevitably asked for more

cannot sit still as is but when he’s regressed it gets really bad

many many park trips or beach trips when allowed

him & ben used to play “catch” but it’s more like fetch… as ben would throw the ball as far as possible and aiden would get it just to bring it back to be thrown again

no they never thought about strange this was until taylor said something when she found out about it later on

when canon happens aiden stops regressing for a while

mostly because he can’t get into his headspace when he’s that stressed out but also he’s too exhausted to do his normal kiddo activities so he ends up sad and mopey while regressed

ben hates this.

every single time aiden has said he was going to regress and he needed ben to watch over him only for an hour to go by and aiden hasn’t done a single activity pulled out for him and has just sat there looking depressed- yeah it pushes ben one step closer to losing his shit in the phantom dimension

eventually it gets to a point that the rest of the group gets concerned because ben is angrier than normal and aiden is sadder than normal

they have an “intervention” of sorts and sit the cousins down to talk

ben’s anger deflates as he listens to aiden mumble out how he hasn’t been able to regress and how it’s making him emotional

cue everyone in the room having their heart BROKE cause he sounds & looks like a kicked puppy stg

ashlyn already knows what age regression is (cough she regresses cough) and is able to fill the others in with logan’s help as he also knows what it is

taylor is instantly jumping to take care of aiden and help him regress

tyler goes into Big Brother Mode™️ and tells aiden extremely seriously that he will watch over him and protect him

they don’t realize aiden’s regression is pure chaos yet

but anyway- they schedule a day at aiden’s house where his parents won’t be around and he can regress with all his friends there to encourage him and help him feel better

cue the insanity and impulsiveness that is happy regressed aiden

he is climbing counters, trying to tackle tyler, stealing logan’s glasses to put on and run around in (he runs face first into a door cause he’s already uncoordinated & now has strong ass glasses on), he drags taylor around the entire house giving her a “tour” where he gets side tracked in each room and leaves a mess behind for later aiden to worry about

he doesn’t bother ashlyn much during the day, honestly a little worried with how she’s taking his regression as she struggles showing lots of emotions in expressions and little aiden relies on expressions a lot

but dinner time rolls around and ashlyn and ben start to cook and he’s suddenly very interested in the task

she gently guides him through what each step is, calming him down a fair amount in the process

taylor may or may not have a million photos from this day in her camera rolls & in polaroid form

somehow aiden convinces tyler & ashlyn to play tag in the backyard after dinner

logan & taylor have videos of aiden hiding in the bushes just to jump out onto tylers back while yelling for ashlyn to come tag him

he thinks he’s smaller than he actually is

since he regresses so young he forgets that he’s actually taller than ash and about the same height as tyler

he gets very disappointed when tyler says he’s too heavy to carry around - yes tyler does immediately pick him back up and run around with him on his back for a good fifteen minutes

taylor sits in a patio chair with aiden in front of her so she can pluck the sticks & leaves out of his hair from being outside (ben might be falling in love with her who’s to say)

he demands bedtime stories from logan and tyler

they do the voices & the bedtime stories he gets with ben are audio books that ben flips through at aiden’s bedside so it’s special to have the others read them (ashlyn may or may not have to leave the room cause she can feel herself slipped listening to the stories)

by the time aiden is asleep everyone in the group feels like they need a weeks vacation (only they have to go fight phantoms in a couple hours :/)

however logan says it was good as they now know what to expect when aiden’s regressed

with everything going on it’s still difficult for aiden to find the energy/time to regress so the group comes up with a babysitting schedule to try and help

aiden’s favorite days are when it’s tyler, ben & ashlyn or taylor because he just terrorizes tyler the whole time with whoever else is there to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand

lord have mercy if aiden ever regresses at school

once the group tried to stick it out til the end of the day but from then on have realized that it’s better to just skip the day and head back to whoever’s house is empty

as chaotic and normally happy aiden is while small- the phantom dimension still has an impact on him and can cause him to get emotional or upset when certain things happen

he usually goes to ben or ashlyn when this happens and will happily curl up with them on the couch with a comfort movie going to distract him

he buys everyone in the group a Mother’s Day & Father’s Day gift (gender doesn’t matter) but also makes them cards while small

no tyler & ben don’t cry what are you talking about

taylor gets her cards framed to keep on her desk as a pop of positivity when things get hard

each member of the group actually has a lot of art from aiden while small - they like to compare pieces and pin things on the fridge

some of aiden’s favorite things to do while regressed is to go get ice cream with everyone than go to the park

yes he’s covered in chocolate ice cream & dirt by the time they go home but he’s having fun and that’s what matters

[sssammich]

yeah the early woso era was A Time but it gave us some great gems like all of the collaborations the woso authors used to write and the way you guys all built off of each other's work, that podcast you used to have with that other woso author (where you would start recording and not tell her you started the recording for each episode's intro), and specifically that krashlyn fic where ashlyn cheated on ali that ended up coming true (that fic was literally all i could think about for the entire month after the whole sophia bush fiasco)

i also dropped out of fandom at around the same time but ended up rejoining a literal decade later because of the 2023 world cup last year and some of the changes that shocked me were:

tobin heath and christen press are dating??? and went public with their relationship

kristie mewis is the gay sister?? AND is engaged to sam kerr (the first thing that popped into my mind after hearing her name again was that video she did with carli lloyd riding a scooter in a banana suit?)

euoprean woso players' popularity have been rising like crazy in the past ~5 years or so (esp the english national team and league)

so there's a lot more variety of who to be a fan of outside of the uswnt which is great

the sport has also grown so much more diverse (more woc, more publicly out lgbtq+ players)

more publicly out lgbtq+ players means more super cute (public) irl queer relationships to follow <3

but it also means so much queer dating drama between the players 💀

i feel like there's less rpf these days

which might be because there's less of a 4th wall between fans and players like the older generation were all normies but the newer generation are as chronically online as we are

but that doesn't explain why there's so much self-insert fanfiction (there's sooo much)

it's gone more mainstream which means more collective fandom brainrot so it's probably for the best that you're no longer in the fandom

0H MY GOD THE *PSYCHIC DAMAGE* ANON HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME

i legitimately forgot i held a podcast about woso and woso rpf LMAOO that was insane unhinged it's all gone now unforch and probably for the best (god what a wild time. for the record, i loved it and it was great, but jesus i forgot. i remember going into my partner's closet LMAO because she actually had one so i could record. fucking wild)

anyway yeah lmao listen despite being a consistent talex shipper, there was ZERO questions that alex morgan was like the straighest straight who ever straighted. but tobin. well, that was no surprise. christen press tho! that was a surprise to me lol some of my best fics in that fandom are, like, not about talex tho LMAO

OMGGG KRASHLYN FIC LOVE TRIANGLE; what fic you're thinking of and what i wrote is probably not the same. but this just makes me think of the ashlyn/ali/niki fic that came about when seeley wrote one thing and then jessie wrote a response fic and then i wrote a response fic to that. holy fuckkkk this feels like my roots of writing just popping up announced. how do you solve your writer's block about two sad women? you add a third sad woman in the mix. holds up. (i mean, these are real people so cheating is literally the worst and love triangles in general can be super complicated but from a storytelling standpoint: *chefs kiss* delicious)

everything you've bulleted out is like equal parts surprising and not surprising but i will agree that it was probably for the best that im no longer in the fandom.

(also self-insert fics are, like, so bold. i don't hate it or anything because, like, it's fanfiction do whatever you want but it's so...revealing. me writing the way i write is already making me so exposed but to just blatantly blitz through that and go for a self-insert. damn.)

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

7/29/17 - July pt1

post bmr I was like on a melee grind, I wanted to try to get better and was trying to get the last bit of stuff out of my old apartment. So I kept procrastinating by going to tournaments and getting high and playing more lmfao.

That Tuesday was fourth of july, and I had to decide whether I would go to my buddy jack’s pool party or go to a tournament in greensboro and try to hang with ash and aaron. I was split on what I wanted to do because after my trip I felt like I needed to embrace life in gboro more, and I was trying to weigh out which would be the most likely to get me to talk to girls and also the drunkest, and it was a 50-50 until I realized that I didn’t have work clothes for thursday if I stayed out near raleigh, so I decided to minimize driving by going to greensboro. I pulled a bunch of whiskey and got tipsy and played like shit in the tournament, never doing that again lmao. But while I was there this girl Ashlyn from tinder hit me up and thus began some adventures out in Winston-Salem. She invited me to drink and watch fireworks with her, so I was like fuckit hell yeah let’s go for it. Sobered up over the course of the tournament so I was fine to drive.  I made it out to this bar in winston and accidentally made the most alpha move I’ve ever done to kick off a date, it was actually incredible you’ve got to try it. I got to the bar before her, so while I was waiting I decided I’d sit outside and smoke a cigarette (now that I was done with Katy I was feeling meh about having quit), but this guy and these two girls were talking about Legend of Zelda for some reason. I jumped in and was talking to them about that, complimented his triforce tattoo, he complimented my hair, and we shot the shit. Got to know them for a sec and he was dating one of the girls and were with their friend who I started chatting up intently. I wasn’t looking at my phone for a while and was trying to just keep an eye out for my date, but somehow she slipped by me and I got too enthralled with the new girl so she ended up having to just wait for me trying to text me as she watched me chat up this other woman. I saw my phone that I had missed her text by like 6 minutes, so I got too flustered to get the girl’s number, but it actually set a great kind of tone, as my date was already calling me a playboy. I apologized to her by buying her a drink and smoothed things out, and we started chatting up this other couple who was sitting near us, Paige and Austin. Oh man it was a mess though lmao. After getting to know them a bit and they reminded me a hell of a lot of Kailey (in terms of drunken snarkiness, and ‘playful’ bitchiness) and just some chill surfer dudebro. So after a bit more drinking and smoking I think I slid in the topic of threesomes for some reason, and she was like “yeah but you’d never do a threesome with two guys it’d have to be two girls, right?” and I said “oh hell no, I’d do a threesome with two guys.” and she said “I KNEW you were gay.” It was 6th grade all over again, I played that shit up the rest of the night making gay jokes and occasionally hitting on her boyfriend to piss her off. She had no idea that when we left their company to go smoke in my date’s car we already snuck to second base, so she and I were both confident in my sexuality, but Paige was like determined to convince me to “be who I was” and warn Ashlyn that things weren’t going to work out with me. Pretty fucking hilarious. Then we had some older black guy try to convince us that blacks and whites were different species, and were only meant to live in certain climates. He took Paige’s side about me being gay and said I was “full on,” so I’m not gonna lie later in the night when we were in her parked car high as balls making out it felt pretty great that he walked by lmao. She climbed on top of me and I thought we were gonna fuck, but she didn’t want to do anything so serious at first, so she just slid down between my legs and sucked my dick in her passenger seat. 10/10 fourth of july. Good america day lol.

I went on a followup date with her the next day, and we ended up parked in a church parking lot all night smoking weed. She’s a bit unhinged, almost freaked the fuck out when she couldn’t get her vape open, but we had some greatttttttt sex in her back seat at that church lmao. After I went down on her, fingering her until my arm felt like it was gonna fall off she did this funny little thing where she like wanted to ride my dick but not.. penetrate. It was like a pussy lip handjob and I’m not gonna lie it felt pretty fucking great. I came from that once and she kept getting more and more into it until she ‘slipped’ and I got to fuck her.  But idk there were a lot of off things about her like she wanted to talk my head off about her last relationship and the way it fell apart sounded exaccctly like me and kailey so that was a drag, I was about to bail out early until she told me she wanted me to stay. I went on to see her until this week, when I blew her off for a magic tournament but more on that later lol.

Thursday I got off work early, went and hung out with Aaron and played a bunch of injustice and he showed me this show with the girl costar from parks and rec. Watched like a full season after he went to bed. Worked the rest of the weekend.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

What if Ashlyn meets RiD Decepticons in the future? Time travel or not, I can imagine how she could mess with them all. No Cons be safe from Ashlyn... maybe except minicons

Steeljaw will learn how terrifying humans can be, just like TFP Decepticons already learned :)

Steeljaw will be having a flipping crisis. It's inevitable.

Honestly, this situation will be even funnier if it’s a time-travel version. I can't go into too much detail for spoiler reasons, but Ashlyn Moore would have done several exploits that have left major ripple effects in the timeline. And then comes past Miss Moore, who is not quite that unhinged yet and fully unaware of anything except some TV show knowledge. She is going to be very, very confused.

When Starscream arrives, armor upgrades and all, and proceeds to cry at the sight of her?

The mini cons that were hunted to be used as a super weapon, why is the eagle calling her Origin?

WTF is MECH doing?!???

Ah, Soundwave is sticking with the original design… not all bad then.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN M IS ON EARTH?!?!?

Ohhhhh, hey Knockout! …. Whose that other con in the distance?

… why is everyone giving up on the deception hunters, and hunting her?

MAKESHIFT IS ALIVE?!?!??!?

Is Earth still getting invaded? Is that a thing? Please, let Decepticons subtly integrate themselves and control the government so they can blacklist Autobots and brainwash the populace... no she is not being sarcastic.

... Why is Doctor Morocco calling her madam?

...

The Vehicons have a union now?

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

ashley pulled a few 'miko's' already, will Miko or the other kids pull a 'ashley' in the future

I think Jack's already pulled a bit of an 'Ashlyn' with setting a certain bot on fire (even if it was unintentional, he was still going for the jugular)

But, yep, the phenomena of ash will spread like a plaque and no one will escape it. I am inspired by humans are space orcs, and that theme will get stronger as the story goes on. Humanity is going to be feral, going to be a little unhinged, and will be unpredictable. Not just Ashlyn or the kids, but everyone will eventually take off their gloves and bloody their knuckles in this war.

That's a long way off thou, first we've got to get some things sorted, but it's coming. Till then, I hope you enjoy the build-up to the chaos.