#Asha would beat the shit out of him on the regular but kill anyone who looked at him wrong
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Theon and Asha had to be separated as children for the realms sake. their bond would have been detrimental to the realm otherwise.
the bi on bi hostility would have killed everyone within a five mile radius. the big sister/little brother rivalry would have taken lives of anyone who came between them. they would kill for each other one second and attempt to murder each other the next.
they'd be the biggest shit talkers on the iron isles. the side eye would be insane. they'd gossip about someone to their face with no shame. they'd spread rumours like wildfire.
no one would be able to stop them.
#they would be horrendous together#imagine them being actual siblings that were allowed to grow around each other and become besties/enemies (its both)#Asha would beat the shit out of him on the regular but kill anyone who looked at him wrong#Theon would call her every name in the book but threaten anyone who tried to do the same#they'd be each other's wingman/cockblock and hypeman/hater all at once#this falls under more of a modern au than canon and is very optimistic of their positions in life but shhhh let me pretend they'd be bestie#I need it in my life#asha greyjoy#yara greyjoy#theon greyjoy#got#asoiaf#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire
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also. forgot to add.
had they been raised together, she would have humbled his ass so fast, she would have straightened out his priorities, she would have knocked some screws back in place (at least to her "the least insane, unsafe, and unstable - though not to be confused with being sane, safe, and stable, because she is not - Greyjoy" standards) so he wasn't such a chronic fucking loser (I say so so so lovingly I swear).
he would not be acting the way he was in canon if she had been there raising him (cause let's be real with ourselves. she'd be doing the heavy lifting. she has such untapped parentified older sister vibes that need to be taken advantage of. she never got the chance, she was into forced to be the eldest son, let her be the 'mom' who has no idea what she's doing, she's just expected to do it, and she's honestly committed to it at this point)
Theon and Asha had to be separated as children for the realms sake. their bond would have been detrimental to the realm otherwise.
the bi on bi hostility would have killed everyone within a five mile radius. the big sister/little brother rivalry would have taken lives of anyone who came between them. they would kill for each other one second and attempt to murder each other the next.
they'd be the biggest shit talkers on the iron isles. the side eye would be insane. they'd gossip about someone to their face with no shame. they'd spread rumours like wildfire.
no one would be able to stop them.
#they'd be nightmares together. but he would not be acting like a mess under her care. she would not be allowing that.#she's the type of older sister that does The Mom Face™ and smack you upside the head in public if your acting up#she'd be military level strict#but only cause she loves him (and because she will not be embarrassed by his behavior)#also. og posts tags cause I think they're funny >#they would be horrendous together#imagine them being actual siblings that were allowed to grow around each other and become besties/enemies (its both)#Asha would beat the shit out of him on the regular but kill anyone who looked at him wrong#Theon would call her every name in the book but threaten anyone who tried to do the same#they'd be each other's wingman/cockblock and hypeman/hater all at once#this falls under more of a modern au than canon and is very optimistic of their positions in life but shhhh let me pretend they'd be bestie#I need it in my life#asha greyjoy#yara greyjoy#theon greyjoy#got#asoiaf#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire
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