#As much abuse as I'm living through and as worthless I feel just breathing oxygen at least I wasn't killed in the street

[fragglerockopinions]

I want to kill myself so fucking badly. I want to stop existing in constant torment and isolation and disappear whatever way is most convenient for me. I want to die through any method I possibly can. But then I think about elderly trans people.

[serede986]

(HC) Self Harm - Jumin, 707 and Saeran(GE)

TW⚠️

Thank you so much for the request @qlassicc . Tho I'm so sorry I took 5 months to complete this, that was way too rude of me, I'm really sorry. I hope this completes what you asked for. Please feel free to demand a rewrite.

TW⚠️ Self Harm, mentioned abuse, assault.

~

Jumin

It's finally time, huh? What did we even do to you bitch? Taking our Jumin away for your selfish needs.

What do you hate? Height? Why don't I try and push you down the building?

You tried, breathing heavy and tears. Clutching your chest you fell to your knees, sobbing, trying to get some amount of oxygen in your system.

This was not the first time someone's comment hurt you, but it was getting worse and worse.

Sometimes it's them, or sometimes those high class wives, trying to bring you down, excusing their behaviour by putting up any petty excuse.

Jumin could suspect your growing anxiousness. Knowing how closely he observes you, you are certain he already knows.

But, I'm hurting him..

Rattled by the small voice in your head, your fingers snacked through your hair, pulling it so roughly. Your sobs were now screams.

It's hard, isn't it?

Looking up, you could spot a pink string. Elizabeth's leash. It was blurry, but enough for you to walk up there and grab it. Wrapping it tight around your wrist, you could see your hand slowly turning purple.

"MC? Dar' where are you?" You heard your husband call out your name, walking towards the room you were in.

Quickly wiping your eyes you hid your hand behind your back, smiling, trying to look as normal as possible.

Washroom is emp-

"Hello love- what's wrong?" Voice laced with concern, Jumin narrowed his eyes at you. Standing in front of you.

"Elizabeth's leash, can I have it MC?"

Leash that partly hung down was visible after your skirt ended below your knees.

Breath hitched in your throat.

You nodded, not really having the courage to speak, afraid you would burst out crying.

Suddenly, he grabbed your hands from your back. You hissed, feeling his finger touch your wrist.

His eyes spoke of shock, welled with tears. A sob escaped you.

He gently unwrapped the leash, staring down at your hand, his tears falling on the purple.

"I... Won't ask why.. seven told me about those comments, and I was aware of those ladies and I still couldn't do-"

"Jumin.. p-please don't leave.."

"I won't MC, we'll go through this together. "

"Mhmm.. " resting your head on his chest, you feel his hand softly caressing your head, pecking.

~

707

I'm 50, is it okay with you sweetheart

-No, I have a husband.

You have a husband? Why don't we leave that douchebag and escape to the Maldives.

-No. I love my husband, there's no way I'd leave him for a creep like you.

Oh c'mon darling, don't be so sour now. How much do you want? 5000?

-It's not about money.

Oh! Perfect then! Why don't we start with some nudes then?

*picture*

Oh my goodness- stop it.

This was the third time you blocked this guy but again he made a fake account to contact you.

Afraid as you were, you wanted to contact Seven, but didn't really know how or if he would even trust you. It's been going on for months now.

Flashbacks of when you were 16 started to creep into your mind. How you were so much into partying and how you somehow let so many creeps in your life, how it was so difficult to get out of the phase, how it was so difficult to be safe.

But.. Why is it happening again?

Your breath starts constructing in your throat it's so tight. Why would this happen again

Ugggghhhhdjjxjsmxjwkd

Breathing out, you looked down at your legs. Tho light, but those scars were still visible.

Taking the blade out of the first aid box, you close your eyes,piercing your skin. You let out hiss immediately followed by a sigh of relief.

Placing the blade on other leg-

"NO! MC!"

His hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling your grip from the blade.

"Stop this please stop this! you know how important you are to me, right? t-then why are you doing this? MC please tell me what's going on?" He exclaimed, throwing the blade somewhere in the room.

He cradled you in his arms, rocking back and forth trying to calm you down. You told him in between cries of panic and pain.

"Shhh.. it's okay MC." He muttered out phrases that caressed love and worry. As your story completed, those creeps in your high school, how you unintentionally got older men's attention, how similar stuff started to appear on your insta handle, how you were threatened, you stopped hearing any voice from Saeyoung.

Looking up, you could see all the usual shine in his eyes, vanished.

"Sae.. hey.."

His eyes met yours, meeting you in a soft kiss. Breaking from the kiss, he muttered "I said this in our vows, and I'll say this again, I'll always protect you, and you'll never hear from any creep ever again."

You gasped lightly, then nuzzled your head on his shoulder. You could feel him move from giggles and laughter, as he slowly saw the creep suffer through his computer screen.

~

Saeran

You are such a disgrace to our family! What a worthless daughter, huh?

You were sitting there on the floor, legs covered with fresh and old, cuts, and scars older than ten years, slapping you on your run from your home.

Memories of how your family set up random people to sleep with you, and marry you at the young age of 14, started to creep into your mind since the last few days.

Your eyes burned, dry, as you tried to close them.

How tough it is for you, huh? You just have to marry that man. Why don't you just accept your fate and live with it?

MC.. you're a lady, it is your destiny to live with a man and serve him. If you get beaten up, you deserve it.

But that man is 20 year older than me..

Do not talk back.

You let out a scream, grabbing your hair, pulling it with as much force as possible.

Your sister with whom you lost contact was on a call with you, informing you of her pregnancy with a girl. You started to get scared remembering how your childhood was ruined, how you, a girl, was treated in your household. Not only you but your sister too and how you escaped that home or hell to term it otherwise.

Your anxiety started to take over you, another victim of your family's beliefs. Another young life on the verge of being ruined.

Can this not happen anymore?

You ran away, and your fiance will leave you soon too. Let him realise what a worthless brat you are.

You wanted money, didn't you? Soon he'll realise you're a gold dig-

"NO I AM NOT!" You yelled into the phone, immediately throwing the phone at the nearest wall, shattering. Tiny glass pieces hit you back, piercing your skin.

Startled, you heard the rattle of the door knob, trying to push in.

"Saer-" your breath hitched in your throat, trying to call him. "I'm a bit busy Sae, I'll be out in a while.." you called out to him, nervous as you didn't hear any response from him.

The door turned open, he looked at you. You knew he was shocked, but he didn't really let it get to his face, knowing how much you needed him now, no matter how much you denied him.

Walking out, he soon came back with first aid box, sitting down in front of you, covering any bruises and scratches on your skin.

"I'm sorry Saeran.."

Your nervousness grew, receiving no response from him. Was he disappointed in you?

"... You're not worthless MC. You're everything to me, I.. cannot even try to imagine my life without you, you're that important to me. Please don't do this, not anymore MC, please?" You looked up into his eyes, tears damp on his cheeks.

You nodded looking down on your knees, ashamed.

"A-and don't be ashamed either. I have a surprise for you. Last week, Jaehee noona taught me how to make ice cream, and I made chocolate."

You looked up at him with a gasp, what a sweet surprise!

A few days later you started going to the counselling sessions with Saeran, seeking help together. Your sister was rescued by Saeyoung and Jumin, receiving help and support from different psychiatrist, and support for her child from the government.

~

Help is always available. Here is a post that mentions helplines that can be useful. My dms and asks are always open.