#As I write this I'm listening to that song on repeat | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mixtapedoh · 1 day ago

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hi hi this isn’t a request, more of a “i do not have anyone else to scream about this with” BUT ANYWAYSS, idk if you listen to keshi but i was listening to Soft Spot on repeat and I cannot get woozi out of my mind send help. might have to start writing for svt at this rate. anyways back to studying for midterms i go, hope you’ve been well olive!

NOT A REQUEST BUT I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF BECAUSE FUCK YEAH YOU GET ITTTTTTTTTTTT.

also, hi jen <3 how are you <3 i have been habitually away from tumblr and that is my fault because i saw this like two weeks ago and was going to listen to the song you sent and then. simply did not. forgive me, forgive me, i am unworthy of such correct headcanons and vibechecks, but thank you for sharing them regardless.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴏꜰᴛ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ .⭒˚.⋆˙⭒.✮

.⭒˚.⋆˙⭒.✮

"so i was just talking to hoshi—" you opened the door to your apartment and set down your keys, tugging off your shoes and already mid conversation, as had become your habit, after moving in with jihoon. you paused for a half second, just long enough to wrestle off your other shoe, and from somewhere deep in the apartment, you heard jihoon's wordless sound of interest. i'm listening. "—and he is somehow under the impression that we are going clubbing with him and the others this friday."

you walked into into the main room, your steps soft and meandering, where jihoon sat on the couch, his guitar next to him and a notebook resting on his lap. he had a pencil twirling in his fingers, and when you caught his eye and asked, "do you know anything about that?" he looked down and pretended to write something.

"yeah, i told him we'd both go." his voice did it's best to feign casual disinterest.

"you told him? you??" the surprise in your voice was giddy and sweet, bubbling like a can of coke just popped, carbonation fizzing.

jihoon still didn't meet your gaze. "you've been saying you need an excuse to wear that new outfit you bought a month ago... and we're spending that night together anyway. i knew you didn't have any scheduling conflicts." he was mumbling this last bit, and the erratic twirling of his pencil did little to hide his nervousness. "two birds, one stone."

you had the buoyancy to laugh, warm as the late afternoon sun coming in through the window. "woozi. you hate clubbing."

he had to look at you, this time. if only to see how your face would melt further into affection and tender admiration. not that he was somehow any better — all the attention made his complexion rosy, and for the life of him, he couldn't wipe off this stupid grin. "but i love you."

"ji!!" the whole of you spun into a whirlwind of motion as the lovesickness hit you square in the chest. you covered your face in embarrassment, and when jihoon laughed, it only brought you somehow closer, now standing above him, your legs brushing the front of the couch. "you can't say that! makes me blush... makes me all stupid in love."

he managed to capture your pinky with his. "it's a good look on you."

you swatted his chest with your free hand, and jihoon pulled you closer, sitting you on his thighs and kissing you deeply. you intertwined your fingers with his, and after breaking away, kiss both of his cheeks. twice. for all that jihoon loves to claim he doesn't understand romance and doesn't believe in all the mushy stuff, he certainly always tries to get it right with you.

you kiss his neck, and jihoon sighs your name contentedly. you smile against his skin before pulling away to ask, "are you really gonna give up our inuyasha rerun night for clubbing with hoshi?"

his face contorts into a playful grimace, and you can't help but laugh at the expression. "that's when loving you becomes the operating part of my promise."

.⭒˚.⋆˙⭒.✮

#olive.writes #seventeen imagine #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #woozi imagine #woozi x you #woozi x reader #someone kiss woozi's cheeks for me please and thank you <333333 #if you ever think i'm doing well just remind me of HE and i will crumble #wrote this instead of doing work trainings yeahhhhh #honestly the main times i come onto tumblr is when i'm avoiding doing work so perhaps you'll see me a bit more these next few weeks #i'm doing literacy training and it's DRY AS FUCK #if you see typos please ignore and forgive this is short so i'm not proofreading or anything

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trivorowo · 1 year ago

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After binging the entirety of death note watched the netflix movie. It's an odd one for sure, with many, many *choices* What confuses me the most is the final song that leads into the credits. The power of Love by Air supply. For some reason, this is the thing which has stumped me. Not the terrible teen romance, not their interpretations of characters, not the slightly off kilter chase scene, but this dang ending song.

It just wraps this entire baffling movie in an odd bow, doubly so with the slightly open ending.

#death note #anime #netflix death note #adaptation #power of love #As I write this I'm listening to that song on repeat #trying to get some kind of meaning out of it.#all this for a movie thats just a schlocky b-movie at best #why do I hyperfixate like this.

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curiositymemes · 8 months ago

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STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been?

you settled down?

you feelin’ right?

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean?

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die.

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim.

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose.

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad.

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it.

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes.

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep.

i’ll love you when the oceans dry.

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs.

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it.

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours.

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit.

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back.

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive.

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind.

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt.

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end.

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’.

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation.

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing.

i would leave if only i could find a reason.

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them.

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been.

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick.

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it.

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you.

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended).

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth.

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me.

i’m angry again.

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two.

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there.

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright?

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown.

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out.

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i’ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far.

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love.

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.

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stevestark · 6 months ago

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Guilty As Sin? is so steddie coded, y'all.

just. Eddie pining for Steve thinking he's the absolute worst for doing so because he knows how precious it is to get to be friends with Steve Harrington. like, in general, because, y'know. the popular jock and the town freak? unheard of. but also in a more intimate way. because he knows now that Steve is just an actual good fucking person, and that friendship with him is seemingly unconditional and it's so precious.

so when he catches himself watching Steve wave his hands around when he talks, or staring when Steve bites his lip when he's concentrating on something, or the way his fingers itch to play with Steve's hair, he starts to think he's on the verge of fucking it all up.

that he'll scare Steve off and then he'll lose Robin too, and the kids, and this whole weird little family unit they forged in the literal fires of hell.

but then...there's the times he thinks he's not overstepping.

like when he goes to glance at Steve, trying to play it off as nonchalance and finding himself feeling completely unmoored by the fact that Steve is already looking at him. or when he goes to put his hair up in a messy bun on a hot day, and Steve casually reaches out to grab the piece he missed and sticks it into Eddie's hand before he slides the elastic over the heap of hair.

or the time Eddie laughs at something Dustin says and chokes a little on his beer, and Steve thumps him on the back to help clear his airway but just...leaves his hand there between Eddie's shoulder blades, thumbs rubbing small circles into the space he brought his fist down, as if to apologize.

and then he watches Steve go about his usual schtick flirting with girls and he thinks, not for the first time, that it's actually all in his head.

so he starts to pull away; he forces himself to not stare, doesn't return the gazes he feels burning into the side of his head, sits anywhere but directly next to Steve.

for a while it works.

until Steve starts seeking his presence out. sits right up against him as they all cram onto the couch to watch a movie. lets his hand linger as he passes Eddie a beer. tugs on an errant curl when it falls out of Eddie's bun.

and just like that, Eddie is back to feeling the little spark of hope flare in his chest.

"what if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind? one slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze; oh, what a way to die."

#steddie #steddie drabble #sorry i'm still listening to TTPD on repeat and I swear to God every song I discover a new steddie coded lyric #it's a disEASE #misc #writing #steddie fic idea #?#sometimes I have thoughts that would make excellent stories #but no energy to write the thing #and that's when these lil blurbs come out

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cinematicnomad · 19 days ago

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i was not tagged in this but i wanted to do it so!!

tagging: @crazyassmurdererwall, @woodchoc-magnum, @tripleaxeldiaz, @thisapplepielife, @valleydean, and anyone else who wants to do this

#i've actually been listening to a lot of music on spotify lately which is OUT of the norm for me #i'm normally a podcast girly #so i figured this would be a fun time to see what's showing up on the list #i skipped repeats and only included the first song of any artist that showed up #pls know there were multiple chappell roan and paramore and olivia rodrigo songs on here lol #honestly kind of looking fwd to my wrapped this year #which might actually be more interesting than the past which was basically just whatever album i was obsessed with #and then my normal writing playlist that has had the same 30 songs on it for years now

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rosenfey · 1 month ago

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🍂🕯️ you ever just listen to a song and know that you won't ever be the same person again because that's what drumming song by florence is doing to me 🕯️🍂

#ambie.txt #I love florence so much!!!! it's that type of music that just connects right through my soul #not unlike being punched in the gut but in like a good way fnfndn #I've been listening to this on repeat for hours now and the dopamine is so good #is this my fave romance song?? yes #the jelene vibes are so insane it's getting to the point where I got to write these ideas down or I will burst #nnfnfnf MY HEART is full. thank you very much I'm gonna chew on the drywall now

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p4nishers · 1 year ago

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can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

#the title itself!!! THE FUCKING TITLE #swan UPON leda #god he's an actual genius THANK U HOZIER SO FUCKING MUCH #i hate how that myth is portrayed and received and objectified bc they make it out to be such a funny little chuckle story like 'hahaha led #is SO easy that she fell for a swan isn't that actually the funniest thing you've ever heard omg like women are literally so easy to please #whatever whatever blahblahblah yes that's fucking hilarious matthew thank u SO much for that absolutely fascinating commentary on a women #getting raped by a god really truly an amazing insight into ur pea fucking brain #like fuck sorry but i just absolutely despises how this myth is made out to be and i remember learning abt it in class and being literally #nauseated bc guess fucking what it's literally not hard to understand wtf is happening and while u r laughing away about i repeat a WOMEN #getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified #jesus ANYWAY #hozier dropped that song after roe v wade was over turned and i just i love him so fucking much he cares SO MUCH and before anything else #he's an activist and he actually gives a shit about women's rights and he dropped this song as a comfort as something to hold onto but also #as a social commentary and he linked charities and resources to help women and keep them safe and this song just means everything to me #bc greek mythology often gets reduced to children stories bc most ppl know myths from children books and obviously a book for kids not gonn #outloud say the word rape or even imply that that's what's happening and that's fine ig but bc so many ppl know it from there it gets #reduces to a joke and a raped women gets ridiculed but hozier actually took one of the few poems about leda being raped and it being a rape #at all and made it into a song during a time that was so traumatizing for ever afab person in the world basically and it just says 'i see #you i see what you're going through and i'm listening and i actually care and i want to help you' and he's helping by writing a song yes bc #he's spreading the word that way bc that's how movements are spread and people listen to him when he's singing and that's how he helps and #i did i mention that i love him? bc i'd actually do anything for him and to meet him and tell him how much he fucking means to me #the line that always gets me is 'a crying CHILD pushes a CHILD into the night' bc yes she was a fucking child who had to deliver 4 KIDS BC #AN ASSHOLE DECIDED SHE WAS PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK and nobody ever cares that she was just a child and her child helen was just a child when #she was abducted and raped and impregnated (JUST LIKE HER MOTHER) by theseus a supposed great hero and im genuinely sick she was just a #child like so many women or girls in greek mythology and ik it was a different time back then or wtv but they were just GIRLS and nobody #cared about that or cares now. but this song does.#bc of course it does it's hozier.#hozier #swan upon leda

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menlove · 6 months ago

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so scared for my spotify wrapped this year it's gonna be.......

#between writing & getting so high I feel shrimp colors and listening to a song on repeat for like 5 hours.......#scared to see what's gonna come out on top #rn I'm betting happiness is a warm gun but we'll see #I love playing this game through the year

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tj-crochets · 8 months ago

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Hey y'all! I am in the mood for some new (to me) music. Do you have any recommendations for songs that make you want to dance? No limits on genre or language, but if you're sending me a link to a specific music video please give me a heads up if it has flashing lights (if possible). Thanks!

#the person behind the yarn #I heard a song playing at the local Joanns the other day and I regret not writing down the lyrics so I could look it up #very very dance-able #I remember none of the words at all lol #I do not care what language the songs I listen to are in #if it's fun to sing I will learn the lyrics regardless of language #I mean most of the songs I listen to are in English but I have songs I sing along with in several other languages #...I might only know what like half of the words actually mean but I did know the meanings at one point!#I just learned a lot of the lyrics before I got sick and those memories are Gone #oh wait if the lyrics are not in English and the lyrics are propositioning someone I would like to know that #so there's not a repeat of the 'the only French I knew as a child was song lyrics but I very much didn't know what they meant'#like I do not mind the lyrics I just want to avoid another Incident #I cannot tell you how many adults (in retrospect) heard me singing that song. CLEARLY had a face journey about it #and were like...she can't know what that means. Should I tell her? That would be so awkward. I'm not going to tell her #I thought adults just didn't like French for so long

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hongjoongpresent · 1 year ago

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the entire essay I could write about the background vocals in terrible man. you don't understand

#onlyoneof #why do you think that first beat drop at the first chorus hits so hard. dude #that's the only spot in the song that I can find where the background vocals completely disappear #also the chorus is the only part of the song where the beat is completely clear and not muddy #there are 2 other spots in the verses that has a bit of the chorus beat too but it's not *as* clear as in the chorus #god when that motto motto tsunaide mou uso demo ii kara furetete HITS. it hits #this song is so insanely good and for no fucking reason I could write an essay about it. maybe I should #the intro has that . instrument that I can't name in it and then the verse has that too but with the beat from the chorus #and then the prechorus is all wahhhwoohohhf floaty. it's floaty airy breathy no clear beat #AND THEN THE. CHORUS HITS and man. uifkvfjvnfjjvjfjvbvfj yeah #also the way rie sings mimi kara karada kills me every time. unrelated to the discussion around instrumentals but #THE BACKGROUND VOCALS IN THE 2ND CHORUS BTW #the woaaahhh that continues into wooohooohh in the chorus...#the ohoohhh ohooooh #dude? listen to hidoi otoko by onlyoneof. that's what I'm saying here #really listen #put it on repeat all day and notice every little instrumental and background vocal detail in it. maybe then you'll be normal #cuz I sure am. so normal and regular about this song #GOD it's so good #sorry if you don't get it. I'm right #the only crime this song commits is being too short #the ohh woahh in the first prechorus. that part is different in the korean version of the song and that one little part is why I prefer the #japanese version of the song. literally just one woahh background vocal is what makes me heavily favor this version. lol #me when I'm so normal about my favorite background vocal parts of a song. is that even a thing it is now. it is to me

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splashinkling · 9 months ago

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Another Get to Know Me

thanks @sleepy-night-child for the tag!

a band that you don't like that many others do:

I'm pretty amicable for music. it'd take a song I really hate for me to not like a band. on the other hand, I will like any song that will get me to sing along with it

least favourite animal and why:

bees. when I was a kid, someone told me to not move around bees so that they wouldn't bother you. outside during recess, I froze still cause a couple of bees landed on my shoulders/neck. the bell rang for us to go inside and I had to make a mad dash for the doors despite the fear I'd get stung. hindsight and common sense now tell me bees are generally harmless and wasps are the enemy, but I'm traumatized now and treat them the same

hot fandom take:

head empty, I don't really have any takes, especially ones that aren't already out there. also not really in fandom land, I'm just on my own island.

do you wear any jewellery, if so, what's your favourite piece:

not super devout, but I've got this necklace from elementary school that's a cross with a dove on it that I still wear. otherwise, the owl ring I got a couple years back that I wear as a necklace is the one

a movie others liked but you didn't:

honestly I watch so many movies with my friends nowadays and a lot of them are really bad lmao. I think a recent movie we watched was The Killer and I didn't like it, but it's rated highly for who-knows-why. like it's not even a comedic mess-up, the assassin was just bad at his job and it's not entertaining

three things you love about yourself:

I'm a relatively positive person, or more like I don't have that much hate in my soul. will try to be the best supportive friend you've ever had. and I've got a lot of creative outlets to use!

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

Japan! I wanna see so many gamer things there. plus the tourist-y landmarks/activities. life-sized gundam is also on the list, if that's still around. and the food! (that I've been seeing because I follow this one guy on YouTube)

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

the first name that came to mind was Dwayne Johnson for whatever reason, but he's doesn't actually get on my nerves that much

things you're excited about in the near future:

(slowly and surely) getting back to writing!! reviewing some of these games that I've been playing recently, because I've got Opinions on some of them. and getting used to this fancy new limited edition 8BitDo controller that I got. if this was a week ago, I could've said watching my friend finish the main story of Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth, but that's already happened

least favourite ship in a fandom you're in:

again, not really in fandom land so I have no idea about what ships go around.

what's the most toxic fandom you've been in:

as a gamer and basketball fan, those are wildly toxic fanbases. gamers are so mean to the devs (sometimes rightfully so, other times not so much) and to other players. like literal death threats sometimes, it's insane. and then fans of basketball would literally boo their own players at times, like what.

list three things you find beautiful about life:

Space science (thanks Kurzgesagt)! Other people's works (art, writing, games, or otherwise)! Family, friends, and pets!

any dreams for the future:

finishing and publishing any of my works so that people can (hopefully) enjoy the experience I made for them

how are you feeling today?

another day of writing, gaming, etc. but it's grey and gloomy outside and it's sucking like half of my energy away, especially because I need to walk the dog later. and the NBA Trade Deadline is at 3pm so I might be spending more time than usual paying attention to player movement/trades between teams, especially because my team is Not Good and I'm expecting them to make moves this deadline.

no pressure tagging @talesfromaurea, @moonluringfrost, @ettawritesnstudies, and sleepy friend already tagged @oh-no-another-idea and @drippingmoon, but I'll tag as well if you'd like :)

#ink rambles #tag game #get to know me tag #saw the music question and went. I was listening to J-Rock but now I'm listening to K-City Pop and realized I'll just listen to whatever I #encountered at that time. or I'll just listen to the same 3 songs on repeat for like a month 🤡. plus game OSTs are just so great that #yes. I will listen to the Karaoke songs from all the Yakuza games. thank you.#a couple years ago the fans of my team decided they would boo every time this one player touched the ball because of something he said in #the off-season. like we traded him away and still they boo'd him when he was on the other team. like come on. the moment is over lmao #trying to do too many things at once has made writing this take more than an hour lol

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the-albster · 2 months ago

Text

Open Mic Night

I thought I was going to have more time to finish this one this week, but alas, college life and extracurriculars have caught up to me. Still, I am very attached to this piece, and I have had this idea for a while. I hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 2,468

Content Warnings: mild panic attack, self-deprecation, mention of a noose in song lyrics

Summary: Pari signed up to sing a favorite song of hers at an open mic night, and all of her friends come along to watch. It's dark and snowy, and she's getting more and more nervous. She admits she's scared when she's in the bathroom, and Kariah helps her out. Pari gets up onstage and performs, any nerves immediately fading. All of the friends applaud and compliment her, and it ends in a group hug and late-night food.

Content Used: "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons

Art By: @eventidebrine

_________________________________________

It was a cold, snowy Monday night. A very anxious Pari was walking briskly through the snow, holding gloved hands tightly with Kariah, wearing her guitar on her back. Behind them was the rest of the friend group; Faith, Christine, Todd, Marisol, and Tristan. They were all happily chatting amongst each other (minus Faith and Christine, who were arguing again,) and Pari had it completely tuned out.

“How are you feeling?” Kariah asked, squeezing Pari’s hand. She looked gorgeous in her champagne-colored puffy jacket. Pari wished wearing her hair down everyday didn’t bother her as much as it did; her ears were pretty cold from her hair in her signature bun.

“Fine,” Pari said, but that was not what she meant.

Tonight was the yearly open mic night. This one was different from most; you had to sign up in advance in order to be able to perform. Todd said he had heard rumors that it had gone on for almost three hours last year, so they were doing this to shorten it. This year, Pari decided on a whim that she would try to sign up for a position, not expecting for there to be one open for her.

But there was exactly one. Which meant that she was performing in front of an audience.

Pari wasn’t the type that had stage fright normally, but something about this was daunting. Maybe because of the rawness of the song she was playing, and how she would be able to see every single audience member. Also, all of her friends insisted on going along, and none of them had ever heard Pari sing. Todd had heard her tune her guitar, but he had never heard her playing a full song, and he especially had never heard her sing.

What if her voice wasn’t good? What if she was too quiet?

“Honey, you’re not fine. You forget that I can see right through you.” Kariah squeezed Pari’s hand tight. “You’re going to do amazing.”

“You got this, Pari!” Marisol squealed, skipping forward to walk next to her. She was wearing a beanie, her hair now about pixie cut length, and her jacket was so big on her that it didn’t look like she could move her arms. Pari glanced back at Todd, who was looking at Marisol fondly. She smiled softly at him, and then looked back at her.

“Thanks, Marisol.”

They arrived at the cafe moments later, and the anxiety was beginning to overtake Pari. She took a deep breath and then, as a form of comfort, made sure she had everything.

“I have my guitar… Kariah, you have my backpack?”

“Yep. And I looked at your list. Your shirt, skirt, headband, brush, makeup, and heels are all inside. I triple checked.”

Pari breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re perfect. Thank you.”

Todd stepped forward to be near Pari, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Pari, you’re gonna be great up there. I can’t wait to hear you sing.”

“And,” Kariah added, “I’m proud of you for trying something new, even if it’s scary. You’re going through with it even though it scares you, and that is bravery if I’ve ever seen it.”

“I don’t feel very brave,” Pari snapped, and she looked down, guilt already filling her heart. “Sorry. I’m just nervous.”

Tristan came up from behind Pari and wrapped her in a big bear hug, patting her shoulder roughly, yet it was comforting. “You’re gonna kill it, Par!”

Pari looked back at Christine, who nodded at her. “You’ll be fine.”

Faith shoved her girlfriend and leaned forward. “You’re going to, like, kill it out there! I don’t know why you didn’t want me to ask daddy to record it professionally.”

“I’d rather not feel like I’m on a news show when I’m performing,” Pari responded. “Also, thank you guys.”

Feeling supported by her friends, Pari walked inside, taking a deep breath. It was, thankfully, right between performances, so nothing was interrupted.

“Y’all go find us seats. Todd, save me one up front. I’m gonna go with Pari to get ready.” Todd nodded and grabbed a program as Pari handed him her guitar. He led everyone to their seats as they all grabbed programs. Tristan handed a couple to Pari and Kariah, and Kariah opened it immediately.

“We have four performances to get you ready, Par. Come on, let’s go find the bathroom.”

Pari took Kariah by the hand, and Kariah briskly led Pari to the restroom. It was a small, yet surprisingly clean single-stall bathroom.

“You go in the stall and change, and I’ll get your makeup and stuff out and get ready to doll you up.” Kariah reached into the bag and handed Pari her clothes. Taking a shaky breath, Pari took them, and she slipped into the stall, shutting the door behind her.

The more Pari thought about the performance, the more anxiety she began to have. She had signed up for this because… well, one, she didn’t think there would actually be a spot for her, and two, because she wanted to give back to her community by participating in a local event. And she wanted to do that, but the idea of going up on that little stage and completely letting herself go in front of all of those people sent a wave of nervousness throughout her body. She would be performing, something she didn’t normally do, and she chose a song that made her feel vulnerable. No one had heard her sing. Kariah was the performer, not her.

Soon, the thoughts came rushing back. “I’m not good enough.” “I can’t do this.” “Everyone’s going to laugh at me.”

And as soon as Pari was dressed, she crumpled to the ground, tears streaming down her face.

Kariah knocked on Pari’s stall door, and Pari moved just enough to open it for her. She sat down next to her girlfriend, brushing a hair out of her face.

“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m…” It was hard for her to admit it, but she did. “I’m scared.”

“Oh, honey…” Kariah wiped a tear off of her face. “Can I hug you?”

“Please… please do.”

Moments later, Pari felt Kariah’s arms around her, and she melted into them, holding onto her so tightly. She was shaking, fearing what was going to happen when she got on that stage. And now that she was crying, it was going to look like she didn’t want to be there. She did.

She was just scared.

“It’s going to be okay,” Kariah whispered, stroking her hair. “You’re going to do great. I’m so excited to hear you perform. You’re going to be the best part of that open mic night, and deep down, you know it.”

“No, you’re only saying that because you’re my girlfriend.”

“I’m saying that because it’s true. I know you’re scared. Trust me, I’m always scared before I go up onstage.” Pari looked up at her, eyes red, and Kariah smiled softly. “It’s true. The pre-show jitters exist. But once you’re up there, and you get started, it’s going to be fine.” Kariah let Pari go and then stood up, bringing her up with her. “Come on. Let’s do some warm ups.”

“In the cafe bathroom?”

“In the cafe bathroom.”

Pari wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Kariah gave her one last hug and then twirled her around. “Follow what I do, and the pre-show jitters will be gone.”

She led her through some tongue twisters, some energy warm ups, and some stretches. By the time they were done, there were two shows left. As Kariah began to do Pari’s makeup, she looked into her eyes.

“When you get up on that stage,” Kariah said, “imagine you’re in the music practice room. Think of the song that you’re singing, and how it resonates with you. Feel the music, feel the moment, sing your heart out.”

Pari nodded, a soft smile escaping her lips, feeling much better. “Thank you.”

_________________________________________

“Ugh! I, like, love the arts, but I came here to see Pari! When does Pari get to go?” Faith flipped through her program and huffed.

“She’s next, dumbass,” Christine pointed at the program. “That was 11. Pari’s 12th.”

“I’m so excited!” Marisol exclaimed, leaning forward to rest her head on Todd’s. “Todd! Are you ready to see your sister perform?!”

Todd nodded, leaning his head back to look at Marisol. “You know it, babe.”

Kariah was sitting front and center, staring at the stage in anticipation. She was wondering how Pari was doing while she was back there waiting to go. It had only been one performance, but Kariah felt like it had been so long, and she was ready to see her girlfriend shine in the spotlight.

Then, moments later, Pari came out.

Since Kariah did her makeup, she knew how pretty Pari looked, but something about the cozy lighting in the restaurant made her look gorgeous and elegant. Her skirt flowed behind her slightly, and her hair was neatly tied into a bun on her head. Kariah was in awe of how gorgeous her girlfriend was, and the more she looked at her, the more excited she was to see Pari perform.

As they were sound-checking Pari, Faith leaned forward and tapped on Kariah’s shoulder. Kariah turned around. “Hm?”

“You did her makeup, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you did, like, amazing. Pari looks really pretty right now.” That made Kariah smile. Faith, the expert of fashion and makeup in the friend group, gave her a makeup compliment. That made her feel special.

“Test, test.”

The crowd began to quiet down. Kariah looked up at her girlfriend, so excited. She was sensing the nervousness coming back to her by the way she was tensed up onstage and by the look in her eyes. Pari looked out at Kariah, who smiled and gave her a thumbs-up.

“Hi, I’m Pari Shepard, and I’m going to be performing one of my favorite songs. It’s called ‘The Cave.’ I hope you enjoy it.”

Pari took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and Kariah began to smile wider than she had in a while.

And then, she began to play.

As Pari’s fingers moved along the strings of the guitar, Kariah could see the nerves and the tenseness in Pari completely vanish. In fact, as she began to play, she noticed a small smile creeping onto her face. And the music itself was gorgeous. Kariah was expecting her to go up there and play some chords and sing along, but Pari played lots of little, intricate notes that formed a beautiful melody. Kariah was gazing at her, and she couldn’t stop smiling. She was so proud.

And Pari’s voice! Her Polish accent just barely shone through, making her voice sound gorgeously unique. Though her voice was soft, it was still clear, and it filled the room. Everything about Pari was ethereal. Kariah took a quick glance at Todd next to her, who had a look of pure pride on his face.

“I’m so proud of her…” he muttered. Kariah smiled wide and listened as Pari sang.

“But I will hold on hope

And I won’t let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I’ll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I’ll know my name as it’s called again…”

Kariah could tell that the lyrics really meant a lot to Pari; the idea of overcoming struggles and finding strength in hard times. She didn’t want the singing to end. She was lost in Pari’s beauty, her talent, and honestly, just everything about her. The way her eyes sparkled as she sang something meaningful. The way her fingers strummed the guitar. The way she rested the guitar on her knee as she played. The way she smiled as she sang. The way it was so clear that Pari was up on that stage doing something she loved.

God, Kariah was so in love with her.

When Pari was done singing, she looked out into the audience, tears filling her eyes as she smiled. “Thank you.”

The room filled with applause. Kariah stood up, screaming, “Go Pari! You did it, honey! I love you so much!!”

Pari walked off the stage, her eyes watering and her body trembling. The adrenaline must have rushed when she went up there, and now that she was done, it was fading out.

“Pari! Oh my gosh!” Marisol was bouncing up and down. “You did so good!”

She smiled at Marisol’s compliment, and she set her guitar against a chair. “Thanks, Mari.”

Kariah took a step forward, taking Pari’s hands. “You, my Pari, were amazing up there. I’m so, so proud of you. I love you more than anything.”

“Thanks, babe. I love you too.”

Pari leaned forward and gave Kariah a tight hug, and Kariah kissed the top of her head, taking a moment to wipe the tears off of her girlfriend’s face. Those tears were likely a mix of emotions from the song and emotions from getting through that performance. They made Kariah begin to tear up as well.

Kariah felt Todd’s arms around both of them, and then Marisol joined. Tristan came up behind Todd and put his hand on Pari’s shoulder, hugging her too. Faith stepped forward and tried to drag Christine along, but Christine wouldn’t budge, so she joined the hug on both of their behalfs.

The group hug made Pari feel seen. Happy.

Loved.

Like she was lovable.

“Thank you guys for coming…” Pari said between tears, “and thank you for this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys supporting me.”

“Wanna stay and get food?” Tristan exclaimed as the hug dispersed. “It’s on me!”

Everyone cheered and nodded, and as Pari was walking, Christine tapped her on the shoulder. She held out her hand, which Pari took, and they shook hands.

“I knew you had it in the bag, Par. Nice job.”

Pari grinned and nodded. “Thanks, Christine.”

Todd stepped forward and squeezed Pari. “You really did. You put yourself out there, and I didn’t know you could sing OR play like that! What other secrets are you keeping from me?”

A soft chuckle escaped Pari’s lips. “None. Thank you, Todd.”

She went and rejoined the rest of the group, sitting next to Kariah and leaning over on her shoulder. Being on that stage sent a new wave of confidence through her, and lit a fire in her that maybe, just maybe, going on a stage and singing with her guitar was going to be a new passion of hers.

Kariah looked down and brushed Pari’s bangs out of her face. “I really am proud of you.”

Pari smiled and looked down. “Thanks. For once, I’m proud of me, too.”

#albsters ocs #pari #kariah #lgbtqia #MY BESTIE DREW ART OF THIS I'M SCREAMING #i was listening to that song on repeat for a week #faith #christine #todd #marisol #tristan #open mic night #writing #guitar #the cave

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