#Arshmeen

[ertugrul-bey]

Diriliş: ertuğrul - Season 2

When your tribe betrays you...

[ertugrul-bey]

Diriliş: ertuğrul - Season 2

[ertugrul-bey]

A great start to a New Year, and an even better start to my 23rd birthday. I couldn’t have asked for a more enlightening experience when I reached that fork in the road. I now have a new beacon of hope, one I can hopefully hold onto for as long as possible!  

[ertugrul-bey]

I think it’s finally time I compile my K-drama list in the most extra way possible -|-

Top Tier [Gold]: Goblin, Boys over Flowers, Master’s Sun, Secret Forest/(Stranger), It’s Okay That’s Love, Woman with a Suitcase, Oh My Venus, I Hear Your Voice...that’s it for now..

Second-Best [Silver]: Black, The Greatest Love, Jealousy Incarnate, Tunnel, Strong Woman, Oh my Ghost/Ghostess, She was Pretty, .... will come back to this later

[ertugrul-bey]

[ertugrul-bey]

Lovers yearn for You  but Your Love slays them all

Yunus Emre 

[ertugrul-bey]

NOSTALGIA

[ertugrul-bey]

Emotions

Ok so I know that real love or whatever, "that feeling"  isn't real or true until you're married but lately I've been doing nothing but Just constantly thinking about what it'll be like once I'm living with him.

Finding out about his insane behavior has somehow affected me too and now, me, the most realistic and composed person I know lol am going insane too. It's so hard really, when it hits you this bad and you're left with this enigmatic feeling...

I constantly go back to ten years ago, when we were kids barely old enough to even comprehend anything that wasn't childish... Then I go back to 2 years ago when our fate overturned us and our future was sealed for good.

I always wonder what it was he was so captivated by then, and what he is, so vigorously afraid to lose now. 

I am at this point where I have no serenity in my head, just helplessness eating me away emotionally. I had no idea this correlation between us would drive me this senseless and crazy. 

[ertugrul-bey]

I really believe that matches are made in heaven, (matches meaning couples) and love how God designs our fate so accurately... it's surprising to see how two people extremely opposite in personality, perspective and environment, living on the other sides of the world (or living right next door to each other) can somehow find their way together and be happy. At the same time it's really complex to think that how we act, our behavior, our way of life is what determines who and what we end up with later on. The idea of match made in heaven and the karma's distribution of destiny do contradict each other yet somehow it makes sense. 

[ertugrul-bey]

I can't stand all the holding back in a relationship. I should be the last person to complain about it, being the most anal human being but I guess perspective makes you realize a lot. 

Sometimes, circumstances like these make me ponder what really goes through his head and how he's able to be so patient with certain things yet totally ardent in other matters. If one can spend days and nights without a word then what does waiting a few years make a difference?

Maybe being so patient and tolerant for so long can adhere you to the point where waiting becomes effortless.. but if that's the case then why do I sense extreme restlessness within him ?? Am I missing something?

So tired of this paradoxical situation.