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ellekhen · 6 months ago

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Hand, Hearth, and Home

Chapter 56 - Of Waterdeep

Chapter Summary: On the eve of Halsin's attempt to save Thaniel, Church still finds himself disturbed by his own encroaching darkness. He seeks out a friend also haunted by a similar sort of imminent doom, and together they commiserate and contemplate their respective supposed fates.

Pairing(s): Astarion x Male Tav (Main); Past OC x Male Tav Rating: Explicit Length: 292K+ words; Chapters 56/?? (Master Post)

Excerpt below:

“Over here!” a voice calls softly.

Gale has seated himself upon the grass, a blanket spread neatly beneath him and what appears to be the remnants of ritual components. His hands conduct the illusion like an orchestra as they dance soundlessly overhead.

“I was looking for you,” Church mutters wryly, seating himself carefully upon the blanket. Gale’s face is notably serene, rather than the troubled expression that furrowed his brow days earlier. “You’ve been here the whole time?”

“Not quite,” Gale murmurs as he carefully arranges a constellation of stars above them. “I walked around a fair bit. Talked to some of our allies — Halsin, mainly. Took care of a few things. Prepared a few… missives,” he hesitates. “There was one thing left to do, and it was to apologize to you.”

Church huffs a laugh. “I’m not one for grand gestures, but this… this is a nice change,” he admits, scanning the sky. “As far as an apology goes… I’m not sure it’s merited. Not on your part, at any rate.”

Gale shakes his head, flicking away a few stars. “There I was, spouting on about some noble sacrifice I had to make, when I had been berating you for the very same thing.”

“It’s not the same,” Church admits. “You were tasked by a goddess to do something that will save the world. I’ve got a couple of mad fey luring me into another deal for my own selfish reasons.”

Gale frowns. “Wanting to continue one’s existence isn’t selfish.”

Church shoots him a wry glance. “That’s what I’ve been trying to say to you, isn’t it?”

Gale chuckles, casting his eyes back up.

“So you’ve already spoken with Halsin, then?” Church inquires. “I was going to ask you to help. His diagrams were a bit confusing…”

“I have prepared the relevant components and charts for the Harpers,” Gale assures him absently. “It is too soon to prepare such rituals for them to remain potent for Halsin’s endeavor. We have… some time.”

“And you’ve made use of it,” Church follows his eyes back up to the starry sky. “I should’ve known this was your doing. It’s beautiful.”

“Indeed. The curse is still present of course — just veiled and at arm’s length for now. Not a trick I can repeat often, but tonight?” Gale’s voice falters. “Tonight is different.”

He exhales wistfully. “I love this time of night. There’s an almost reverent silence that accompanies the peak of darkness, when you’d almost believe the dawn will never break.”

He gestures a hand grandly across the view. “The timelessness of lovers. The most beautiful of fantasies.”

Church eyes him with concern.

“You’re sounding particularly philosophical,” he remarks cautiously. “Are you alright?”

Gale huffs a cheerless laugh.

“I will be, soon,” he nods grimly to himself. “I am perhaps just one hard day away from being without any troubles at all. Any night might be my last alive. If it is this one, then… I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder… and with company to match,” he adds with a smile, nudging Church playfully.

But his smile falters as the tiefling continues to scrutinize him.

“I thought this place might bring me peace. I thought it might make the weight of what I must do feel a little lighter…” Gale looks down, face falling. “...but I am not so sure.”

Finally, Church lets out a harsh sigh. “Fuck it. You know I wasn’t going to drop it — is this truly what you want? To die for the promise of Mystra’s forgiveness?”

Gale smiles bitterly. “Babe or crone, coward or hero, death is assured. Mystra’s forgiveness is not. If you knew the end was near, would you not want to ensure it had meaning?”

He glances back up at him, troubled. “I am… terrified,” he admits. “I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it.”

“This isn’t the end,” Church insists fervently. “Not yet. We still have some time. We still have questions that need answers. We…”

“Church… thank you. But even if we do find another way, perhaps this is the right way. The end fate wishes for me.” Gale nods to himself. “There is no point running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms.”

“Nothing is inevitable,” Church retorts fiercely. “Not when we face it together. I don’t have to die. And you don’t have to die.”

“Yes,” Gale chuckles. “But there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all.”

Church takes his hand. “But there are moments,” he says fervently.

Gale chuckles. “Believe me, one moment in your company has often been enough to prise the fear from my heart. And I…” he hesitates. “I have missed your company, my friend. These past couple days. And I’m so very glad you came here to share this with me.”

He gestures vaguely up at the sky.

“I know that this is unreal, but I created it for you.” He looks shyly over at Church. “You must know that you’re… you’re very special to me.��

The wizard feels warm nestled against Church’s side, seated in this protected corner of the cursed land. Church’s heart throbs with fondness, but also some trepidation. Where is he going with this?

“The point is…” Gale looks up into the sky. “…time is short. Every day, every moment is uncertain.”

“I thought we’d have more time,” Church whispers in agreement.

They sit in companionable silence for a long moment longer, watching the aurora the wizard had conjured ripple shimmer across the sky in wide, iridescent stripes.

“I… want to show you something,” Gale says. “If this were to be the last night of my life, I think I’d like to share in the Weave with you. Take you somewhere that isn’t the Shadowlands.”

He smiles at the tiefling. “Any ideas for sunnier locales?”

Church thinks to himself for a long moment. And then he huffs a laugh. “At risk of you calling me uncreative… why not take us back to Waterdeep?” he suggests with a smile. “I never appreciated it enough when I was there. It was never a home for me… but I’d like to know what it was to you.”

Gale beams at him. “On the contrary, I think that would be rather apt.”

He reaches his hand forward — parting the Weave like a curtain to reveal a luminous scene before them. Eventually the light focuses to reveal a charmingly-cluttered room with accents of dark wood and heavy green curtains. The walls are full of books, and the edges of the rug-strewn ground are lined with piles of even more books.

“This is the center of my universe,” he says, pushing himself up to stand. “The sculptures, the paintings, the walls enlivened by the spines of a thousand books..."

Church takes his hand as the wizard helps him to his feet, continuing to gesture around them grandly.

“...the grand piano plays the Lliirian Suites all by itself, and as we look out beyond the arches that lead to the terrace…” Gale beckons Church forth as the double doors open to a sunlit terrace, “…we see the weary sun take its daily dive into the sea.”

Church follows him out, shading his eyes from the golden glow.

“That’s nice,” Church says, voice breaking as he takes in the warmth of the sunset. “It’s only been a couple weeks, hasn’t it? But it feels like we’ve spent months here in the Shadowlands already.”

He settles himself heavily down upon a wooden settee with red cushions, sighing. Gale smiles down at him.

“My favorite spot,” he remarks idly. “Many times, evening turned to night and back to daybreak once more while I sat here, lost in words.”

“Sounds like you,” Church smiles back at him. “Up all night reading? I do love that rebellious streak of yours.”

“Oh, allow me to live dangerously while I still can,” Gale smirks.

The wizard settles beside him as Church gazes over the panorama of the terrace’s view. He inhales the sea air deeply.

“I think you’re remembering the harbor on a good day,” he comments wryly. “It’s missing the fish and smoke.”

“A memory isn’t perfect by nature,” Gale murmurs. “But sometimes the imperfection is what makes a moment beautiful. It’s the essence of the memory that matters. It comforts us, it…”

He traces his finger along the arm of the settee as his voice catches. “It’s home. I…”

Gale turns to look at Church with wet eyes. “This was… an excellent choice,” he says, straining to keep his voice steady. “If something were to happen, I should like to see home again. Even if it’s not real. Even if…”

Church pulls him into a hug, holding him close as the wizard struggles to stifle a sob.

“No, damn it, I refuse to be a blubbering mess,” Gale chuckles wetly, though he returns his friend’s embrace. “This isn’t quite what I imagined when I wove this for you.”

“What did you imagine?” Church grins as the wizard begins to pull away from him.

And then he realizes then that Gale’s shining eyes are soft and awed, as if he is the view, and not the harbor behind them.

“Gale…?” the tiefling whispers as the man leans back in towards him…

…Gale’s lips are tentative and admittedly a little clumsy as they press upon Church’s. The wizard’s stubble tingles where it brushes against his skin, his hand warm as it comes to rest against his cheek. The tiefling freezes there, scarcely able to comprehend the moment as it passes like one of the harbor’s ships in the wind.

Still, Church kicks himself for how long it takes for him to get ahold of himself and push his friend gently away, an apology in his eyes.

Gale draws back at once, lowering his hand hastily.

“I’m…” the wizard looks flustered in his own fantasy, pulling away completely.

Church smiles sadly at him. “Look, it’s alright. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. That was impulsive of me. If things were different…” Gale swallows, looking down to the floor as he fidgets with his hands. “If we had both met back then in Waterdeep, I would have taken the time to do things properly. To say it all better.”

His mouth twists. “…perhaps be more charming. More forward.”

“Gale…” Church sighs.

“I’m sorry,” Gale chuckles ruefully. “I didn’t intend to bring you here to subject you to my regrets, nor did I intend to make a complete ass of myself.”

“You’re not an ass,” Church protests easily.

Gale shrugs sheepishly. “I lived the life of a hermit for some time before I met you — these sort of rituals aren’t quite in my grimoire, to say the least.

“I know I missed my chance,” he admits with a sigh. “I thought, for a time, that what you had with our companion was merely a…” he blushes, “…physical… distraction. But I should have seen it plain upon your journal's pages as much as in your eyes.”

He looks up at Church with a tight smile. “Your heart is with Astarion.”

Church has no desire to deny it. Not anymore.

“It is,” he says softly, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself.

Gale looks away from him. “He’s lucky to have you. It’s clear you have been helping him keep the metaphorical darkness at bay. I only hope he does the same for you.”

Church follows his gaze out into the harbor. “He makes me want to fight for the future,” he murmurs. “A future where he’s safe. A future full of sunnier days by his side, where he doesn’t need to be afraid.” He sighs. “Where neither of us have to be afraid.”

“A noble pursuit,” Gale says evenly, smiling stiffly past his quiet, embarrassed devastation.

“Gale…” Church squeezes the man’s hand briefly. “I don’t think loving someone as a friend is worth less than being in love with someone. I don’t think I’ve had a friend like you in quite some time, and now that I have that… that’s also something worth fighting and living for.

“And tonight’s not the last night,” he adds firmly. “You’ll live to come back to Waterdeep — for real. And I’ll…” He hesitates. “I want to visit you,” he says earnestly. “You’d be the closest thing I’d have to home there. So please… don’t write yourself off.

“I know it’s not what you hoped for, but this?” He holds up Gale’s hand and shakes it, squeezing tight as he smiles wanly at his friend. “I’d still fight for this. I’m not going to let my friend die if there’s another way.”

Gale huffs a laugh. “Do you… really think there is another way?”

“There has to be,” Church insists. “I’ve let the gods take a lot of things from me, but you’re someone I won’t let go so easily.”

“Nor are you,” Gale smiles softly at him. “Not if I have any say in the matter.”

He gazes out once more over the harbor of Waterdeep, sighing gently. “But I suppose we all must return to reality…”

He snaps his fingers, and in an instant they are back in the clearing, the aurora flowing serenely overhead.

“...one way or another,” Gale mutters wryly.

Church feels his heart sink a little, already missing the warmth of the sunset — illusion or not. Still, he nudges his friend. “It’s not so bad,” he murmurs. “After all, you’re still here.”

Gale huffs a tired laugh. “Damn you,” he says without much heat. His lips can’t seem to help but smile. “Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures… this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn’t.”

His thumb brushes over Church’s hand again.

“If there is a way — any way — to save all that’s grown dear to me… I want to seize it.” He then grimaces. “I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world.”

“Let’s take it step by step,” Church tells him. “First, we save Thaniel and lift the Shadow Curse. Then, we take Ketheric’s artifact away from him and destroy it. After that, we attack Moonrise Towers, destroying Ketheric for good. And then…”

He hesitates.

“...then, we’ll have a better idea what the true heart of the Absolute is,” Gale finishes for him. “We can strategize again along the way. Adapt. And maybe by then we’ll have found something that isn’t… me.” He sighs. “I have to hope.”

Church squeezes his hand, smiling. “And I’ll hope with you.”

Gale leans against him, staring up at the stars.

“Stay with me, will you?” he asks shakily. “I… I don’t want to think of it anymore. But I don’t want to be alone either."

“Of course,” Church murmurs, draping his cloak across his friend’s shoulders as well. “For as long as you need.”

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