#Anyways!! crossposting on Twitter (hopefully)

[14dayswithyou]

Where are we sitting, angels? ✈️

[kenjakusbrainstem]

At The Seams (Kenjaku/Mahito)

Hi! I was going to try and write for kinktober this year but do to work I'm not sure if I will be able to keep up! This is one short thing I wrote for one of the days, as I don't want to waste it! Hopefully it's enjoyable! Crossposted to Ao3 at kenjakusbrainstem and shared to twitter at kenjakusbrain! Let me know if you enjoyed it!

Mahito wasn’t one to seek out pleasures of the flesh, yet that didn’t stop him from turning down a good time. Kenjaku had cornered him upon his arrival to the ruined apartment block their beach was hidden in, pressing the curse up against a wall with more force than needed. Normally Mahito hated being pushed around or told what to do, but this wouldn’t be the first time Kenjaku had forced him into something that turned out more than fun for him.

Kenjaku’s lips pressed hard against Mahito’s, opening just enough to nip at the curse’s bottom lip before shifting down to show the same attention to his neck. His hands drifting down and making short work of Mahito’s tight pants.

A soft sigh left the curse’s lips, relishing in the feeling of Kenjaku’s lips and teeth on his neck. The sudden encounter was making his head spin. He didn’t quite understand but knew enough about Kenjaku to know that sometimes the man just wanted to let off some stress this way. Sometimes it was too messy to relieve stress Mahito’s preferred way, torturing humans, so he didn’t mind the attention.

Once Kenjaku had Mahito’s pants undone, he gracefully dropped to his knees in front of the curse. Pulling the pants down to Mahito’s ankles as he pressed his lips against Mahito’s thighs, kissing the soft flesh along the stitches. Mahito shuddered at the soft, gentle treatment. It was rare for them to have a tender moment like this, but the curse couldn’t deny that it felt good.

The soft kisses turned to nips, Kenjaku focused fully on the curse’s thighs.

Mahito whined, a quiet sound that sounded more desperate than he actually felt. Mahito didn’t usually need to ask Kenjaku to give him what he wanted, the man usually working his cock with a practiced hand. This time however, Mahito’s now hard cock was ignored, the only attention it got was the tickle of Kenjaku’s hair as he played with the stitching on the curse’s thigh.

Ignoring the pleading sounds from the curse above him, Kenjaku slid his hands up to hold Mahito’s trembling legs still. Fingers running along the stitching just like his tongue was. The movements teasing almost, dancing across the edge of the pleasure Mahito was used to receiving when Kenjaku was in front of him like this.

Kenjaku knew he wasn’t giving Mahito what he wanted, but that didn’t matter to him. His goal was different, a curiosity inside of him much too similar to the morbid curiosity inside the curse he pressed his lips against.

The stitches that covered Mahito’s body had always been enticing to Kenjaku. Some of them placed almost randomly while others sectioned off body parts in a way that brought dismemberment to mind. Kenjaku wasn’t sure why they were there, but he wanted to see if they were as sensitive as his own.

Pressing a firm kiss to Mahito’s thigh, Kenjaku pulled away, looking up at the curse’s flushed face. The desperation in Mahito’s mismatched eyes almost surprised Kenjaku, such a human emotion upon the curse’s face almost made him laugh. Smiling instead, he reached a hand out to find Mahito’s, wrapping the curse’s fingers around his own cock.

“If you want it so badly, then touch yourself,” Kenjaku teased the curse, his words pointing out the obvious answer to Mahito’s desperation.

Mahito hadn’t done this before, not to himself anyway, his only experience was what Kenjaku had done to him. As he felt Kenjaku’s lips reconnect to his thigh, he tried to emulate the man’s actions, hand wrapped firmly around his hard cock. It felt better than he expected, strange but the pleasure was almost the same as when Kenjaku touched him.

Stroking slowly at first, Mahito quickly sped up when he realized that he could chase the euphoric pleasure at his own pace. The curse was nothing if not indulgent in his own desires.

With Mahito’s attention elsewhere, Kenjaku could now focus on sating his own curiosity. A line of stitches circled Mahito’s thigh, Kenjaku pressed a kiss to the seam before digging his fingers into the soft flesh. Nails biting into the skin as he tugged at the stitches, it didn’t take long before they gave way, blood leaking out slowly as a small rip was formed along the once pristine circle of stitching.

Mahito’s pained gasp turned into a choked moan as his hand continued to pump at his hard cock. The sharp sensation of being torn open mixed with the pleasure the curse felt and he couldn’t help but moan. It was almost like the pain wasn’t really that painful at all, his skin so sensitive it almost felt pleasant.

Kenjaku felt a smile creep onto his face at Mahito’s reaction, part of him expected the curse to try and kick him over, so this was a welcomed response. Pressing his face back into the curse’s thigh, Kenjaku licked the newly opened stitches. Mahito’s blood tasted different than human blood, less iron and more of something he couldn’t quite name.

Tracing the wound with his tongue, he found that the flesh wasn’t jagged, and he couldn’t find any thread that would normally accompany a stitching such as this. He supposed there was nothing normal about Mahito though, so it wasn’t really that surprising. What did surprise Kenjaku was that inside the stitching it seemed like there was just more skin, instead of the normal musculature of the human body.

It was an interesting discovery, Kenjaku thought, his interest in the most human-like curse he’d ever met growing again.

Returning his lips to the wound, Kenjaku pressed open mouthed kisses to the bloodied and torn skin. Tongue slipping inside and teasing the stitching and the flesh it hid. It was a passionate kiss that one would generally share with a lover during a heated moment, instead being shared with the tear that he had created with the curse’s thigh.

The strange attention Kenjaku was giving his thigh was too much for the curse. Mahito had been dancing around the edge of orgasm for a while, not quite being able to push himself over the edge despite how desperately he stroked himself. This odd feeling and the tenderness of Kenjaku’s kisses mixed with the pain of the wound in his leg was just enough to get him there.

A strained moan left Mahito’s throat as he finished into his hand, his legs trembling from the sudden climax and the pain in his thigh. He hadn’t expected things to finish so quickly, Kenjaku usually teasing him longer and drawing out the experience.

Kenjaku pulled his face away from Mahito’s thigh, looking up at the flushed curse as a bloody grin spread itself across his face. This was something he’d like to try again, testing Mahito’s sensitivity and seeing just how much he could tear at the seams of the curse’s stitching.

[stedelovemail]

just unleashed a lot of General S2 Thoughts on twitter but i'll crosspost them here too. a lot of it is me agreeing with things that have already been said. ineloquent love-fueled criticism in here

i am still on my initial first 3 episodes reaction that everything is too fast; it's unfortunate that there are only 8 episodes this time and they're trying to put so much into them at the cost of good pacing and satisfying arcs because this show deserves better than that. i/we all know it COULD be better and that's exactly what we want for it, but alas: max.

i'd probably have stronger reactions if they had more time to flesh out everything they're trying to do – if i had more time to process everything they're trying to do 😭 there still is a lot i'm enjoying, though. the main relationship of course; most of everything w/ the crew, especially when they aren't separated! bc i'm kind of sad about the swede being apart from everyone, and now buttons too.

and archie: she's definitely likeable but we still really don't know much about her, let alone enough to really feel the connection between her and jim…? meanwhile olu and zheng are indeed a "well they're cute!" situation but i don't understand why they're doing it after how big of A Thing jim and olu were in s1. they were the secondary protagonists. now they have less screentime and importance it seems. and who do we have getting more of that instead… oh boy.

i really wish they didn't embrace the fandom white guy favoritism bc izzy's arc is just. insane. mindboggling. completely different character here, plucked straight from woobie fanon to replace his canon self. they want us to fill in the gaps re: development we didn't actually see, but i can't. it was so annoying watching the fandom push oluwande and jim aside to claim that izzy was the third most important/main character, and now they might as well have just done that. it was annoying to see the fandom apply ed's traits and development to izzy in order to sympathize with him, and now they've kinda done that too.

zero acknowledgment (as of right now) of shit he did and now i have to just remember the silk dressing gown dialogue while izzy comes up to ed wearing another robe in bed with stede and congratulates them on having sex?? being in drag after he was the most femphobic motherfucker throughout s1? getting to sing (and ruin that whole scene) to an admiring crew after the whole 'give us another song eddie!" thing that was torn away from ed in s1e10? i'm so over this. i wish he had just gotten worse bc who's this man being so kind and open and giving RELATIONSHIP ADVICE out of nowhere, he's gone from tolerable to completely unbearable for me which sucks with how much screentime he has now. like, go away already.

anyway there's still the finale to hopefully fix some things. i'm not overly worried about ed and stede since it's already obvious they're gonna reunite, but i am a lil worried about how the VERY end will be. david promised something satisfying though, so….. agh…..

[babykittenteach]

I LOVE your art so much. It’s always really fun and gorgeous, and I’m so excited every time it crosses my dash!

You mentioned trying to find a place to post your nsfw art. I don’t know if you’ve considered AO3, but it’s a great option that 1) allows folks who don’t have Twitter to see your work, 2) let’s people leave comments and 3) let’s them bookmark favs so they can come back to it.

AO3 probably won’t have the same reach as a social media post, so it could just be a link you share in addition to posting on twitter? Just a thought! But as someone who loves your work but had to delete their twitter, it’s a really accessible option.

OKAY so this has been sitting in my inbox for a while and I was like, that's a good idea, I should try it, signed up for an invite, and then promptly forgot about all that because of the cancellation until just now seeing more people have problems with twitter and being like, OH RIGHT. So I have made one, and will be making a single work into which the explicit stuff that didn't make it onto tumblr can be posted in their own chapters. Hopefully backdating to when they were posted means I don't annoy anyone. (It will take me a while, and since this is more intensive than posting to twitter, I may just update periodically instead of at time of crossposting? But hey, another option.) Anyway, thank you, anon. I didn't ignore this I just forgot about it. /o\ Anyway click here for the explicit art post, which I am slowly adding to. I'll make some nicer tumblr post when I'm done.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Do you have other social media? (This is not me asking for any personal accounts, but if you post your work on anywhere else, I'd love to see it! )

I have an instagram page for my artwork and cosplay, although I don't post very often. I was a fine arts major with a focus on painting and portraiture, but I kinda took an indefinite hiatus around the time when I first got Covid. For the last few years I've mostly been experimenting with digital tools and mediums which is where a lot of the graphics, edits, cosplay photography, etc. I post on this blog come from.

Anyways, I am getting back into drawing these days. I'm working on a project I can't really talk about yet, but hopefully I'll have some more sketches and things to post soon. You can find some of my old paintings here.

As far as fandom goes, I am trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to be more active on twitter. You can find my account here, but I mostly just crosspost stuff from this blog.

[orangiah]

still primarily on twitter for now but at some point i think i'd like to at least get back into crossposting my art here, & hopefully get around to uploading the backlog of art from the past few years that i haven't posted here, though i probably won't actively keep up with my dash or anything for now since i really don't have the energy to keep up with multiple social media networks at once (otherwise i'd love to have never left here in the first place)

honestly i've wanted to come back to tumblr for a while now since i've always preferred the organizational capabilities of being able to properly tag posts, but the main thing that's been stopping me isn't even the nsfw ban since i prefer to link out to poipiku anyway even on twitter, but more that i use twitter to keep in touch with japanese friends/engage with japanese fandom & tumblr has just never gotten popular in japan

but it is always nice to pop back once in a while since the lifespan of posts here is so much longer & i still get notes on my art from 8+ years ago

anyway who else here is still around that i've lost touch with since moving to twitter?

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

And it's done. The twitter that originally spawned all the ideas I've been posting is gone.

I won't miss the site itself, because even if the AI bullshit hadn't happened, threading had become so broken that it was honestly becoming stressful to continue any of my ideas in any kind of long form. But there are people I'll miss because I can't find them on other socials. So, lotta mixed feelings.

Anyway. I'll start crossposting more stuff here by the end of the week. And hopefully I'll start getting inspiration again now that I'm not straight up fighting to get anything to post.

[eryncerise]

‘sup nerds :V

Just posting here to say that I’ve updated this blog with my regular “eryncerise” username. Previously this was hypervelocitywolfcannon.tumblr.com, one of the few places online I used a non-standard handle. The lack of consistency finally got to me and I swapped that name over to a placeholder side blog. Spruced up the fonts a tad here as well, but otherwise left this blog the same as it was.

What prompted this? Pretty much what you’d expect, same thing that’s driven other old users back here (*cough*Elon*cough*). Although TBH I don’t see Tumblr becoming my primary social home online again. It could be depending on where most of my social spheres end up migrating, but between here, Cohost, and Mastodon, this isn’t looking like the primary candidate so far. Still, I did want to make sure this page was set up properly in case circumstances changed. So here we are.

Anyway, you may start seeing some posts from me on here again going forward. If so, they’ll more than likely be manual crossposts from Twitter/Mastodon/Cohost. So, if I seem active-ish again, that’ll be why.

EDIT: ...Okay the fact that Tumblr decided to revert 99% of my username and appearance changes after like an hour or so is not exactly a point in Tumblr’s favour right now. :/ Just re-made the changes, hopefully they stick this time?

[hungry-hobbits]

i'm just gonna crosspost my wwdits ep 9 rant from twitter to here so excuse/ignore the formatting cos i'm too lazy to change it but like:

absolutely fucked what they did to marwa and guillermo ep9 - like i dont understand why any modicum of character development nandor gets has to be nerfed by the fact that he just wont grow up from an unchanging uncaring moron who chooses not to see his actions are wrong

nandor is my favorite and its misery inducing to see any positive change in his personality continue to get erased by him doing something twice as fucked up than the last thing he did EVERY season. any growth and love and friendship between guillermo and nandor is always ruined by nandor. and at this point i'm like - if nandermo doesnt become canon thats fine, i'm not one of those babies crying about being "queerbaited" (what) by the writers because they thought this was the "nandermo show" and not a show about 5+ separate people

like i'm so sad that they hinted at freddie all season, finally had guillermo come out, then used the 2nd to last ep to not only introduce but do away with freddie and ruin guillermo's life again - AT THE EXPENSE OF RUINING MARWA'S LIFE TOO?? WTF DID SHE DO???

i dont necessarily agree with the people saying that nadja got fucked over for no reason because she was taking heavy advantage of baby colin and was abusing all of her workers and acted like the club would work w/out colin or the wraiths and was *SO* awful to them, i think the biggest issue w nadja is that like nandor she really benefitted from zero character development. out of everyone its laszlo who actually got *better* which is saying something considering his past actions. like even guillermo didnt really get much development - okay sure he came out which i love but i mean he still wont be independent, ultimately unless the last ep changes this he'll just stay in the pattern of leaving and coming back over and over because nandor manages to nice his way back into guillermo's good graces somehow

i have hopes for seasons 5 and 6 that maybe guillermo will finally start truly standing up for himself re: lasz and nadja, but esp nandor and FORCE nandor to make good on his promise - with or without the caveat of nandermo potentially becoming canon. like nandermo becoming canon isnt why i watch the show, its a fun little "will they/won't they" that's been hinted @ bcos of their strange relationship - believe it or not people can have weird sexual tension *without* ever ending up together, that doesnt mean you were lied to

anyway i mean overall i enjoyed the season, it has numerous numerous great moments and hopefully ep10 will make the misery and woe of ep9 pay off in some way or else we're gonna have to wait a year or two to see how that pans out...............

[cherchersketch]

< Coffeeshop AU / College AU >

Storenvy | Redbubble |Ko-Fi | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

crossposted to AO3

The familiar soothing bustle of the usual CC Jitters crowd was interrupted by the light thunk of a full cup on the table in front of her. Felicity took a deep breath, willing the tears to stop flowing. This really wasn’t the time.

“I said to leave me alone, Coo-“

Her anger gave way to surprise, no she was definitely NOT blushing, as she looked up into striking blue eyes that most definitely did not belong to her sorry excuse for a boyfriend. Well, EX-boyfriend now.

“Hey! Sorry, hope I’m not being too nosy. But you looked like you needed a refill.”

Felicity tried to respond but her mind was a blank. And it was taking all her strength to, probably futilely, suppress the blush she got whenever she saw him. She didn’t know his name but secretly, oh gosh hopefully he would never find out, she just thought of him as “hot Harvard dude”.

He was dressed in his usual maroon Harvard sweatshirt, his own cup of coffee in the other hand.

Felicity realized she was taking too long to answer when Harvard dude started to look down, shuffling his feet.

“Sorry, I-“

“Sorry, I-“

Before this next silence got too awkward, Felicity hastily shuffled the pile of books in front of her.

“I-it’s fine. Have a seat if you’d like. Though I’m probably... not very good company today.”

Harvard dude gave her a smile as he sat down and, oh gosh, how was it possible for him to get even hotter.

“Bad day?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Felicity took a sip of the fresh hot latte he’d gotten her. The soothing warmth and vanilla-y sweetness calming her immediately. Wiping the last of her tears away, she gave him a small smile in return.

“Thanks for this. How’d you know my usual order?”

“Ah...” Harvard dude looked away and did this weird scratching motion with his fingers. Apparently even supermodels could get nervous. “Kind of hard to forget when it still hasn’t washed out of the only Yale shirt I have left.”

Ah yes. This was why she always avoided him. The first day she’d ordered from the new coffeeshop and she just had to have another klutz moment and bump into, of all people, the hottest guy she’d seen so far around town. Every time she spotted him since, and he seemed to frequent CC Jitters as often as her, brought back embarrassing memories of that day. Though it was mostly a blur of apologizing profusely, wiping off the excess coffee as best she could with her one handkerchief and then dashing out of there as fast as possible, half-full cup in hand.

“Whoa hey, I was just joking. “ Harvard dude said with a laugh. “Honestly, it’s fine. Not like I was gonna go back to there anyway.”

“Bad experience?” Oh frak, was that too nosy. She barely knew the guy.

“Bad at studying, more like.” Harvard dude’s smile turned rueful. “Good thing I can just buy my way into any school with my parent’s money at least.”

Ah...Felicity recognized that tone of voice.

“Bad breakup too, huh.”

“She wasn’t wrong. I’ve wasted so many years and what do I have to show for it but a handful of barely passable grades.” He shrugged. “Anyway, it was only a matter of time. I’ve been a bit of an unfaithful asshole, honestly. It was for the best.”

There was no reason for her to feel for this random stranger who basically straight up admitted to be a cheating playboy. But something in his demeanor and his tone of voice made her place her hand reassuringly atop his.

“Well, the first step to correcting your mistakes is acknowledging they exist right?” Harvard dude glanced down at her hand and definitely did not, nope no way it was just a trick of the light, turn slightly red. He did not pull away.

“How about you?” He questioned with a tilt of his head. “Ah...unless that’s too personal. “

“Hey, you told me yours. It’s only right I return the favour.” Felicity took another sip of her latte. “I guess I have the opposite problem from you. Y’know, working too hard, spending more time with my schoolwork than with him. Though, I guess the last straw was when he decided to take most of the credit for our last project when I did most of the work.”

She felt his fist clench under hers. “He what?”

Felicity continued looking down at their hands and shrugged. “I’m good at what I do. At least, even if I’m too plain or too proud to attract another guy, I’ll still have that.”

“Felicity.” Whoa how did he know her name. And when did his hand become the one on top. Also, why was everything suddenly so blurry.

“Hey. It’s his problem if he’s too blind and too dumb to see what he’s lost.”

Felicity blinked the tears out of her eyes. He was a nice guy, no matter what he claimed. “Thanks,” she smiled.

“Guess there’s no better time to return this to you then,” With his free hand, Harvard dude pulled a purple handkerchief out of his pocket.

No. Way.

Was that.

The one.

She’d used.

To wipe away the coffee she’d spilled.

On. Him.

On one hand, it was it was impossible that he’d kept it. And not just kept it but walked around with it in his pocket 8 months later.

On the other hand, she knew how hard it was to find another purple handkerchief with a binary code pattern because, trust her, she’d tried.

“I-is that...?”

“Yea, I’ve been meaning to give it back. But every time I come here you kind of run out immediately.” There was only humour in his voice as he said that.

“Th-thank you.” There was nothing else to do but accept the return of her favorite handkerchief, using it to wipe the last of her tears.

“Your name’s on your cup by the way,” he pointed at the empty one she’d put aside. “I wasn’t trying to be a creep or something.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t help the blush that crept up her face again.

Finally tearing her eyes away from their still-joined hands, she asked,” So you know my name. What’s yours?”

With a smile, he placed his cup on the table and turned it around to face her.

[mittensmorgul]

I would like to get my fics seen more, increase visibility; should I have a blog just for my fics? I don't really have one that i maintain regularly, nor do I really have the desire, and if i made one for fics, it would just be to get higher traffic from the tumblr crowd over to Ao3. So i'm wondering if it's worth the trouble. I don't write just to get views/kudos/comments, but i have to admit it is a little disheartening to put a ton of effort into something and get little response.

Oh gosh, hi. :D

I long ago abandoned my writing sideblog, @mittenwraith, which I only made because I was dumb enough to choose a different pseud when I signed up for AO3, and I figured people would be confused if they found me talking on the tumbls about my fic but with a different name... I realized I’m of the “we blog all our nonsense in one place” types of people. Either that or I’m just too disorganized to maintain two blogs, and most people who are here for fic are already following my main blog anyway. It seemed like a lot of work for little result.

I have no idea how, but I seem to get a lot more traffic on my fic on AO3 than I do on tumblr. I might get 100 notes on a fic on tumblr, but thousands of hits and hundreds of kudos on AO3, so I have no idea how that works. I’ve also been here writing and posting fic for nearly five years now, and had time to build up a decent subscriber list, so a lot of those people generating hits and kudos likely clicked through from the AO3 email, too, and never went through my tumblr at all.

I wish I knew of some sure-fire way to increase traffic on my fic. I don’t typically write tumblr one-shots, and I always post multi-chapter fic all at once rather than dragging it out WIP style (which generates an artificially inflated hit count anyway, and I’m not here for artificially inflated anything... if my works are gonna have hits, I want them organically... :’D)

And yeah, I absolutely do write because I want to read my stories myself, whether or not anyone else cares to read them. I love it, but it just hit kinda harsh doing that top ten tumblr posts thing and even with my (relatively, compared to like... gif makers and artists, and even the popular one-shot writers) paltry original post notes totals, none of my fic even came close to being among them. I get most people probably follow me for SPN meta, because following me for my original fic would be an exercise in tolerance considering I only post new fic on average about once a month. Hopefully the people who DO read and appreciate my fic are happy with what I post, though. In the end, that’s what matters most to me. Are we all having a good time? Yes? Then I feel really awkward complaining that I average something like 300 kudos on a fic. Because to 300 people, that fic was important to them in some way.

As for tumblr notes... I’ve been at this (writing fic) for almost five years now, and I haven’t discovered the magical secret to getting notes, so I think it’s probably about 90% luck, honestly. To everyone who has liked and reblogged my fic posts, I LOVE Y’ALL THE BESTEST. :’D

I used to think I would be happy to “artificially inflate” my notes total by posting chapter by chapter, but I realized I just... don’t care about notes bad enough to bother doing that. I figured if it was something I was truly fussed about, it would be worth it to me, but meh...

I’ve also noticed a large migration of fic writers to twitter, and considered publicizing the fact that I do have a fandom twitter account that I pretty much never, ever use... and just tweeting my fic there. My regular twitter is not for fandom stuff. I’ll occasionally reply to fandom twitter with it, but most of the people who follow me there aren’t in the fandom, so I avoid crossposting from tumblr, or posting my fic there. That’s probably another avenue to getting your work seen, though.

There’s also using the tags-- destiel tags, of course, and some of the fandom community tags if you’re part of something like the @profoundnet or the @writersofdestiel. Reblogging other writers�� works also leads to those writers reblogging your works. Participating in challenges that reblog your works to a wider audience can help, too, on top of having your works as part of those collections on AO3. It’s like having your fic shelved in the bestseller section, you know? The hope is that people who otherwise would never have found your stories will see them through those collections. And on tumblr, there’s also reblogging your own fic, several times over the first few days after posting, but also randomly throughout the year. For example, I reblog all my holiday fic around the holidays every year, and even four year old fic will see a nice little resurgence of interest. Outside of that, I think it’s just a matter of luck regarding which fic will take off.

I mean, with the series ending in just a few months, I expect there to still be a happy little community of fandom creators that will hang around, but we’ve already lost a ton of creative types to the tumblr nippocalypse, to regular fandom turnover, etc. Like original Star Trek, there will probably always be SPN fandom online, even if we’re not as active as we’ve been in the past. I figure if I’m going to continue creating for this fandom, it’s something I’ll have to set expectations to, you know? Because I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me forever :’D

[donnerpartyofone]

eh.

What a time this is. I hardly know how to feel about it. Ironically, I think this is happening to me because a few years ago, Tumblr flagged my blog as explicit. I didn’t do anything about it because, while it was annoying and inaccurate, it didn’t make any difference to me. I didn’t even really think about the consequences of it. Now I suspect that Tumblr is using that explicit flag (among other insanities) to easily identify blogs to be shadow banned. I might have gotten pinched some other way eventually--perhaps by the same mechanism that deleted every video I posted of my gecko, and then sent me scolding emails about distributing obscenity--but now I find myself thinking, “First they came for me, and I did not speak out, because I just, like, didn’t really give a shit!”

I’m happy to see so many of my pals on Instagram already, and a little annoyed by the feeling that I have to learn to like Twitter. I’m skeptical of the alternative platforms people are talking about, like Pillowfort, probably just because they sound cute and I wasn’t too attracted to the cuteness of Ello. But maybe it would be fun to load one of those places up with all of the content we’re all frantically exporting from Tumblr? It could be cool to see everybody’s old school content that’s been lost to the fog of memory.

While I’m waiting for my blog to finish backing up, and steeling myself for the possibility that whatever it finally spits out will be missing tons of posts anyway, I’m thinking about what this all means to me. If I had the ability to port my entire blog over to another platform (I haven’t decided whether I’m desperate enough to actually pay for Wordpress, which offers that option), then it would be pretty simple--I wouldn’t have to see any of what I’ve done these last eight-ish years, but I could still ~have~ it. I started using Tumblr in my late 20s, which was a pretty dark time for me. The new way of expressing myself that I found here, and all the amazing friends I made, were a big help to me when I was in an intensely abusive relationship, barely managing an untreated mental illness that I didn’t understand yet, and still struggling to “find myself” or something. The positive impact of my Tumblr experience on my survival, my taste, my sense of humor, all kinds of shit, is inestimable. But at the same time, do I really want to see the person I was again? I don’t love the idea of losing everything I’ve done all these years, but if I had to save it all individually, looking directly at each bad joke and pithy thought and embarrassingly overworked prose and familiarly stylized image, would I? Mightn’t it be better to just cover my eyes and plug my ears, and pretend I don’t notice that it’s all sliding off the edge of a cliff into the void?

Like, I don’t know if I would have done a fraction of the post-collegiate writing that I've done if it weren’t for Tumblr. I probably turned out a couple hundred pages of memoir and film analysis and ranting and (truly valuable) self-reflexion that are at least occasionally interesting, or at the *very* least, funny. I co-ran a blog devoted to getting people to draw even when they didn’t think they could, or didn’t feel motivated, but just wanted someone to give them a reason. I mean, maybe I would have been driven to this work without Tumblr, but the truth is that Tumblr has inspired me every day. My shrink asked me what I’m always trying to get out of this platform, and I didn’t really know how to answer that question, except to say that when I work up a sweat writing some long crazy thing here, I feel enormously satisfied and relieved in some way when I post it, even if I know for a fact that only a couple of my most devoted friends will even notice it.

I changed a lot while I was here. Not just because I was literally growing up, late bloomer that I am, but being able to see this record of what I was doing, and simultaneously being exposed to what others were up to, really helped me evolve. I went from learning to enjoy my own vanity, to being able to put away my fear of looking ugly, and from showing off the best art I'd ever made, to feeling free to make bad art as long as I was still making something. As an ASD person with high social anxiety, I don’t do well at parties, but Tumblr gave me this beautiful opportunity to talk to all kinds of different people, about all kinds of things, and those people often asked me questions about myself that I had never even considered before. Of course this place can be an insulting mess, but also, people have been really, really incredibly kind to me, for no apparent reason other than that they wanted to. A lot of them are people I probably never would have met for any other reason; people I really fucking treasure.

I’m trying to look at this as an opportunity, in some ways. Like, I don’t think I really like the way that I write, but I sure like to do it! I’d been thinking for a while, should I have made more of a push, when I was younger, to publish? To “put myself out there” and “make a career out of it”? I still think, not really, but it’s hard to say, because the instant gratification of posting to Tumblr made me pretty uncurious about the potential benefits of going out into the world and seeking my proverbial fortune, entering into the competition of daily life, clawing my way toward some more recognizable achievement. Lately, I began to imagine printing a zine of my film writing--which would give me a change to rework a lot of that early tortured bullshit--and maybe including some drawings. I could probably even meet new people through such a thing, professional contacts maybe. (By “professional” I hardly mean anything smarter than like, Fangoria or something of that order, but that would be a big deal for me probably) But now that Tumblr is making itself increasingly frustrating to use in even the most innocent way, and now that I might have to move as much as I can over to a new platform, that could be an interesting chance to review what I’ve done right and wrong over the years, to say “I don’t want to do it this way anymore/I want to do it this way from now on.” I never even cared that much about improving before. I tend to think of competition as being an outlet for the chronically insecure, people who need to compare themselves to others in order to feel like there’s any meaning to their lives. It’s a vestigial impulse, I really believe that commercial and athletic and sexual competition just compensates for the obsolescence of survival in the wilderness...but uh anyway, maybe after sequestering myself in the semi-private masturbatorium that is Tumblr all these years, I could stand to be thrown out into the street to find my fortune?

So I don’t really know what to say now. I’m not quitting just yet, but I’m also not fighting my shadow ban. It’s just so stupid, and there’s so obviously no saving this place. I’m sticking around for now, but I’m going to start crossposting with a dang old blogspot: https://donner-partyofone.blogspot.com and I’ll make it clear when I’m starting to seriously add content over there. Hopefully some folks will find it interesting, and I hope those folks will also tell me if they take their business somewhere outside Tumblr. See you in the funny papers.

[kynimdraws]

A little PSA: An explanation of Ovewatch Ana’s “Tal/탈” skin

I am getting tired of people hating on Ana’s Tal skin and while I have expressed my discontent over this unnecessary discourse on twitter I might as well crosspost on tumblr because of non-Koreans trying to spread misinformation about my home country’s culture.

(Ana voice): SHHHHHHHHHHHH calm down kids it’s grandma

Disclaimer: I am Korean. My mother is a Korean teacher who has taught me Korean history/culture. My uncle teaches in a University about Korean history. Chinese cultural appropriation topics will not be mentioned here, because I am not Chinese. Someone with better knowledge about that than make their own posts elsewhere (please).

A quick googling of “tal” or “탈” will give you the following definition (lifted from the all-accessible wikipedia page). I bolded the most relevant parts of this excerpt since I will go into more detail about it in the next paragraphs:

Korean masks have a long tradition with the use in a variety of contexts. Masks are called tal (Hangul: 탈) in Korean, but they are also known by many others names such as gamyeon, gwangdae, chorani, talbak and talbagaji. Korean Mask come with black cloth attached to the sides of the mask designed to cover the back of the head and also to simulate black hair.

They were used in war, on both soldiers and their horses; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to drive away evil spirits; to remember the faces of great historical figures in death masks; and in the arts, particularly in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical plays. The present uses are as miniature masks for tourist souvenirs, or on cell-phones where they hang as good-luck talismans.

The one Ana is specifically wearing is a type of 하회탈 (hahoetal), which describes a type of mask used during theatre (하회별신굿탈놀이) and dance (탈춤) since the 12th century. These performances consist of a cast of character archetypes, which are depicted by the masks. Many of the features in the masks are exaggerated for humorous and dramatic effect. Here are a general list of masks that commonly seen.

Fun fact, Ana’s mask is a hybrid of the Kaksi/각시 and Yangban/양반 mask. And maybe a little bit of the Halmo/할미 depending on the mask design.

These mask plays were performed in villages to ward off evil spirits and to convince the local gods to protect them and bring prosperity. A certain aspect of these performances are also comedic, and a chance for performers to poke fun of the ruling class and taboo subjects like sex. While this is not tied to the Lunar New Year specifically, such performances were done during special occasions like those holidays.

Now you may be asking “this is part of a religious thing! Isn’t that disrespectful??” And trust me, this depiction is FAR from being offensive to most Koreans.

Yes the tal was used for shamanistic rituals, specifically associated with “muism” (무교/신교). However, muism is not a popular Korean religion. While there has a recent uprise in people practicing it/being interested in it, Muism has always faced discrimination in Korean history. Confucianism, Christianity, and even Japanese colonialism has demonized this religion and it was nearly forgotten/eradicated. The most known incident of this is called the misin tapa undong (미신 타파 운동) describes a period from 19th century to the 1980s where various parties (both outside and inside Korea) tried to eradicate muism through various means, including burning down local shrines and villages that were known to practice them. People had to be in hiding so avoid persecution.

Fortunately the Korean government has indirectly protected Muism by making several aspects of their religious traditions as national Korean treasures, including the 탈 among other things. But it is important to note that whole 탈 culture is secularized now. It does not have the religious connotations that it was known for. Hell, the masks are one of the most recognizable features of Korean culture (and seen in many souvenirs). There are places in Korea that preserve this tradition and perform it to the public to spread awareness of its history (the 안동 village every September has an arts festival for all traditional Korean performing arts). FYI, Koreans who appreciate this are not muists themselves, and no one requires you to be one. Lunar New Year is largely a secular holiday, after all.

Now, do you want to see some of the reactions KOREAN FANS had about the Ana skin? Here are few I got off from twitter, with translations from yours truly:

BTW that Ana tal skin is my aesthetic - (x)

That Ana skin is really good ㅇㅁㅇ....tal is really making my heart flutter* - (x)

*간지뿅뿅 is not a really easy thing to translate since it’s a combo of a sound effect and an emotion??? It’s a positive response either way

Ana skin ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠtal is so good ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ - (x)

OMG Ana’s skin is tal LOL that is exciting - (x)

Many of these really are happy their culture is seen! And it’s not depicted in a mocking manner and the overall design is quite lovely, with Korean-design motifs in her clothes. The few relatively negative tweets about her skin are how the cloth may be too bright/gaudy compared to the mask, which is sort of true. The mask is supposed to be seen clearly to show what character the performer is playing out. But the color scheme really looks like those worn for the Bongsan talchum (봉산탈춤), another variety of tal (they are all within the same province btw). And a lot of Korean traditional color schemes are pretty gaudy too.

Alright, so I have told you all I can about the tal culture. Now the you may be asking the following question, summarized well by this tweet:

I think Ana looks awesome in general but what was the concept behind her new skin ???? She’s Egyptian so why wear a Tal? - (x)

To be fair, I was also fairly surprised by the choice for having Ana have the Korean-style skin before I became super ecstatic to see my culture be represented. I do agree it is odd to see a Muslim/Egyptian/Arabic character (two groups that don’t really celebrate Lunar New Year from what I can gather) to be chosen for a Korean skin, but that matter sort of falls into the “Muslim/Egyptian/Arabic culture is underrepresented in Overwatch and gaming media in general” topic and I am not knowledgeable enough to discuss that in detail. A Muslim Overwatch fan has written about this matter here if you want to check it out.

But back on point, is this skin an example of YELLOW FACE or CULTURAL APPROPRIATION? No! When did being Muslim/Arabic/Egyptian =/= you can’t celebrate/appreciate other cultures and their traditions? Did you only want Koreans to get the skin? I am all for D.Va getting more skins (and MAYBE more KOREAN OVERWATCH HEROES) but why restrict the Korean theme onto just one character? Cultural appropriation is when people INAPPROPRIATELY disrespect a culture by mocking them and disregarding the traditions of said culture. Ana is not doing any of this. Besides, Korean tal culture is not closed off to non-Koreans, and there are Korean cultural socities that are willing to offer classes on this and will even teach you how to do the dance/plays (i.e. Sejong University has a site for it). 

FYI because I am Korean, I cannot say how Egyptian/Muslim/Arab fans feel about Ana wearing Korean attire for Lunar New Year. I have talked to a few Muslim OW fans/friends about this and given their differing opinions on the matter (including the OP of the muslim underrepresentation post I linked earlier), I cannot really make a confident assumption on how these people generally feel about the skin. On Korean fandom’s end though, we love the skin! It’s great Blizzard took the time to research Korean culture and make a skin that isn’t mocking Koreans. And Blizzard does have some ties with Korea itself due to its HUGE gaming culture/fanbase, so it is possible BlizzKorea has gotten input there for this event. Being between two BIG Asian countries (Japan and China), Korea is often left out and this event was a really nice breath of fresh air. We are represented!! We are not some invisible culture between the big two!!!

And if you are not part of this culture, just PLEASE let other people speak out about the matter before getting on your moral high horse to talk about appropriation. 

Now, does that mean the Korean fandom thinks Blizzard is a perfect company? NO! Honestly the entire event is MOSTLY about Chinese culture (with some Korean stuff squeezed in between). Other Asian countries that celebrate Lunar New Year have been ignored (i.e. Southeast Asian cultures and some Indian cultures celebrate Lunar New Year and they are not included despite Symmetra being Indian, etc). These discrepancies are good starting points to discuss underrepresentation in media that Blizzard can learn about and hopefully include in their future updates. From what I can see, the Overwatch developers have been receptive to this feedback so it would be good to have that convo in their official forums too.

FYI, I personally feel like there could have been more Korean stuff for this event period. In America at least, it really sucks that Lunar New Year is ALWAYS called Chinese New Year despite other countries also celebrating it...RIP. But I appreciate that this game has made Korean culture more visible. Here’s hope to more visible Korean stuff in gaming and elsewhere! Where is my “새해 복 많이 받으세요” voice line for D.Va? I demand answers Blizzard!!!

Anyway, hope that has taught you something new, and Happy Lunar New Year to everyone!

[cherchersketch]

< Day 23: Beauty and the Beast AU >

Storenvy | Redbubble |Ko-Fi | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

crossposted to AO3

A month had passed since Felicity traded her freedom for her mother’s. Though there were no calendars in the castle, she kept track of the days in a small notebook kept hidden in Drawer. It was a weird feeling, to be able to talk to the furniture, but she was slowly getting used to it.

Every day, the routine was the same. She was awoken by the cheerful Wardrobe. Though she had only a small handful of clothes, they would appear neatly pressed within every morning. She spent her days exploring, though it was starting to grow dreary. There were many rooms but most were filled with the remnants of destroyed furniture. The long jagged scratches over every broken inch assured her that it was all the Beast’s handiwork. How long had he raged? There seemed to be no surface that was spared from his destruction.

As she exited yet another musty room, into the grand hallway entrance, she paused. With each day that passed, the temptation to explore the North Wing of the house grew stronger. When he gave her free reign of the house, it was his one rule, to stay away from that area. 

From the first floor, she could see that the staircase leading to that forbidden wing was the most pristine. That area of the castle seemed the most intact. Felicity assumed that was where the Beast slept every night. But what other rooms would there be to explore? If it was as big as the other three wings of the house, there might be countless rooms of beautiful tapestries and intricate furniture to discover.

The closest she got to it was the grand dining hall behind the winding staircase that led to the North Wing. The Beast gave her freedom to do as she pleased in the day but come dinnertime…

“Felicity!” Ah, speak of the devil indeed.

With a sigh of resignation, she made her way into the dining room. There as usual, was the Beast. Light brown fur grew on every inch of his body. As usual, he wore the remains of a green hooded cloak. Tattered leather pants in the same colour covered his lower half.

Tonight, his tail twitched back and forth. Was it her imagination or did he seem on edge? He was always broody but right now, he seemed to be even more fidgety than usual.

“Is everything alright?” Felicity couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Fine!” He growled. “Eat.”

Though she didn’t know where they bought the ingredients, every dinner was a sumptuous and delicious feast. Sometimes, she wondered if the Beast chose the menu, or left it to the cutlery and kitchenware to decide. They were sentient after all. The thought of the grumpy Beast flipping through recipe books and picking out delicate desserts made her giggle.

“What?” From across the table, said Beast questioned her sudden outburst.

“Nothing.”

There was the sound of claws scraping on wood. Then, “Is there anything you desire?”

Felicity raised a brow,” You mean, other than my freedom?”

“Yes, other than that.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“You could let me explore the North Wing? Is that really the only part of the castle that hasn’t been destroyed? Is that where you sleep every night? How many-“ She was cut off by a loud thud as he brought an enormous clenched paw down on the table. It was a wonder the wood didn’t start to splinter.

“No. And enough questions. Anything else but that?”

Felicity crossed her arms. “You won’t let me leave but you never seek me out other than a dinner where you barely say anything. What do YOU want with me anyway?”

The Beast just continued staring at her, a frown on his face. There was a loud bang as his chair was thrown to the floor in his haste to rise. Without a backward glance, he stalked out of the room.

Ignoring his outburst, Felicity resumed eating her dessert. Once she was done, she thanked the cutlery and silently made her way out of the dining hall.

Looking out of the huge windows, she could make out the form of the Beast crouching in his garden. Though she never knew where he wandered off to during the day, he was always in the garden at night. Sometimes alone but mostly with a small masked puppet and a porcelain figure of a canary. If this were back in the village, she would have thought him a madman, conversing with trinkets. But in this enchanted domain, she knew they were probably sentient too, and seemed to be his closest confidants. What a strange place she had ended up in. 

He never seemed to sleep. Even if she happened to wake up in the middle of the night, she still saw him there in the garden. Which… now that she thought about it… was giving her an idea.

With one last look out the window to make sure he was still there, and a surreptitious glance around to confirm that she truly was alone, Felicity hurried towards the steps. As she walked up to the forbidden area, it occurred to her there might be other furniture in the North Wing to report her movements. But it was too late for regrets now.

The corridor of rooms seemed like the rest of the wings. Though, astonishingly, it was smaller than she expected. Trying the first door on her right, she discovered it locked. Darn, she hadn’t been expecting that.

Just as Felicity contemplated whether to continue, it would be pointless if all the doors were locked, she heard a faint sound. The source was easy enough to spot. One of the doors on the left was ajar and emitting a faint green glow.

Her heartbeat quickened. But, she reasoned, she was already the prisoner of an unpredictable monster, what else could she possibly have to fear.

Slowly pushing the door open revealed a wide empty room. The source of the glow was an hourglass, shielded by a glass dome. It seemed to be hovering above a platform. As she walked closer, she could see the green sand from the top was not trickling down to the bottom. How strange. But the bottom half did contain a small pile of sand. Was there some kind of mechanism that stopped the flow of the sand? And what was its purpose? Why had it been hidden away in this corner? Perhaps, this would explain the Beast’s reluctance to let her explore it. Did this contain the answer to his mysterious behaviour, as well as this strange magical place of sentient objects? Intrigued, she reached a hand out to touch it.

“NOOOOO!” In a blur of brown fur, the Beast was towering over her. Cradling the dome, he glanced at it before turning back to Felicity. She had never seen him this angry before. Was this the day he finally…

“GET OUT!”

“Wh-What? I’m sorry… I-“

“GET OUT!” Fangs bared and claws unsheathed, the Beast towered over her. As adrenaline started pumping through her veins, she ran through the corridor, down the stairs and out through the heavy wooden doors of the entrance.

She was free.

Felicity didn’t know how long she had walked through the thick undergrowth. The last time she stumbled upon the Beast’s castle, it was on horseback. But her mother’s mare, Meghan, was long gone. Lower to the ground, things looked different. She struggled to find a familiar landmark that would lead her back to the forest trail. Back to her village.

Wrapping her cloak tightly around her, she tried to find a suitable area to camp for the night. She had managed to to smuggle a few tools and supplies from the kitchens before her hasty departure, helped by the cutlery and furniture.

In the distance, she heard a wolf’s howl. Great. She hoped she wasn’t wandering too deep into their territory.

As she gathered the last of the sticks to make a fire near the slightly damp but cozy shelter she’d built in the shadow of a large tree, she heard it again. Another howl, this one sounding closer than the next. Felicity looked around for something to defend herself with, just in case. There was nothing but straggly patches of grass. Hopefully, the fire would keep them away.

Yet another howl. Closer and closer.

Was it her imagination? Or was there a faint rustling in one of the nearby bushes? Was that the wind? Or was there a distant pattering of paws against the ground? Felicity crouched closer to the fire.

A growl was all she heard before a brown blur passed before her eyes. It collided with the grey blur that erupted from one of the further bushes.

A tussle of brown and grey ensued. Felicity wanted to help but wasn’t sure what she could possibly do. With a yelp, the wolf collapsed in a heap some distance away. Struggling to its feet, it continued snarling at the Beast. Then, it howled before retreating.

Felicity tensed. The forest remained quiet. Hopefully, the worst was over.

Or, maybe not. She gulped as the Beast finally turned to face her. He was as unreadable as ever, hidden behind his fur and frown.

“You’re going the wrong way.”

What?

“The village is a day’s walk in that direction.” He pointed a claw in the direction opposite from where Felicity had been heading. Darn. She thought she’d been getting closer. Had she just been walking in circles this whole time?

“Th-thanks.” Unsure of what else to do, she sat back down in front of the fire. “Why are you helping me?”

Silence.

“You imprison my mom for trespassing. Then you make me your prisoner instead but never bother me other than during dinner. And now you’re just… letting me go free?” She fiddled with the hem of her dress. “I am sorry about wandering where I wasn’t supposed to. I wasn’t going to break the hourglass or anything though, I swear. I was just curious.”

A huff. The Beast clenched and unclenched his fists.

“I-“

A loud roar was ripped from his throat. Turning around, he swiped away the wolf that had jumped onto his back. Felicity looked around in horror. When had so many wolves crept up on them?

Two more leapt towards the Beast and he dispatched them with his claws. Unsure of what else to do, Felicity grabbed a few of the longer branches from the fire she’d built. She tried to ward off any wolves that seemed poised for another leaping attack.

There was another ball of fur as the Beast and the wolves tussled for dominance, though the grey seemed to be overwhelming the brown this time around.

Among the observing wolves, she saw one that looked slightly bigger than the rest. It’s matted black fur was littered with scars. Seemingly undeterred by the flames, it crouched, poised to strike.

“Beast! Look out!” Just in time, he turned as the alpha wolf leapt. With a loud roar, and a heavy swipe of his two large, clawed hands, the wolf was sent flying towards a tree. With a yelp, it collided, falling to the ground.

The rest of the wolves paused in their assault.

Growling, the alpha shakily got to his feet. Sensing another attack, the Beast let out another gigantic roar, claws brandished.

The alpha’s tail twitched back and forth. It sniffed the air, then let out a howl. With a leap, it turned back towards the bushes and ran away. The other wolves paused. Then, bounded away after their leader.

Felicity heaved a sigh of relief. Behind her, there was a growl, and the thud of a heavy body hitting the ground.

As she got closer to his prone body, she was horrified at the wounds that marred the Beast’s body. His cloak was totally destroyed now. Its blood-stained and tattered remains littered the ground around him. Blood oozed from his neck, arms and tail. A deep gash went across his left brow, narrowly missing the eye.

She helped him to his feet, trying not to flinch as she tried to support his heavy mass. “Which way back to the castle?”

“What?”

“There’s no time for that. We need to tend to those wounds before they get infected. Which way?”

He pointed in the correct direction and they slowly made their way back.

“Oliver.”

“What?” The castle was in sight. Thank goodness. Felicity didn’t know how much longer she could support his weight.

“I do have a name. It’s Oliver.”

“Oh. Well… thanks for the save back there, Oliver.”

He didn’t say anything more as they made their way to the grand entrance of the castle. With a grunt, he stepped away from her.

“Whoa, Hey! What do you think you’re doing mister?” She frowned, pulling one arm back over her shoulder.

“Thank you for helping me back. You can… go back home now.”

“And leave you here to bleed to death in your house? What kind of person do you think I am.” She huffed. “Come on. There’s got to be medical supplies somewhere in this ginormous place.”

“You don’t-“ She shut him up with a glare.

With one last grunt, she settled him into the large chair in the room he directed them to, in the North Wing. Massaging her tired muscles, she watched various tables and closets running around and rummaging through each other’s drawers to find the supplies needed for Oliver’s wounds.

“Thank you.”

She raised a brow. “You’re welcome.” Then smirked. “I do have name too, you know.”

A deep rumbling sounded in this throat as his tail swished from side to side. “Thank you, Felicity.”