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yinora-evergreen · 6 months ago

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Could you do a Dead Boy Detectives Cat King x reader Payne, Edwin’s sibling who is a ghost after a freak accident and helps them out. They always put the boys needs above their own. After the first Cat King meeting they get a little jealous of their brother but they know it’s wrong. Of course Monty and the others would like Edwin.

Pairing: Thomas "the Cat King" x gn! ghost! Payne! reader, mild implied Monty x reader if you squint, Edwin Payne x sibling! reader

a/n: tysm for this request! i hope it is to your liking and i hope it's not too ooc<3

warnings: jealous reader, it's implied that reader could be interested in Monty, Charles and Crystal [Cat King talks about which form he should take, inspired by the scene in the show when he turns into Monty and Charles to try and seduce Edwin], i wasn't sure whether these warnings were necesarry but i added them anyway just incase

You had been part of the dead boy detectives agency for a while, ever since you had found your brother Edwin again, you stayed by his side, and ofcourse Charles's too.

you aways helped out, kept them safe the best you could. even when you weren't in a state to do so.

there were uncountable times when you took the hit instead of them, physically and mentally.

you helped calm down ghosts who were lost, helped along with cases to make sure everything went according to plan, steped infront of them if someone tried to attack with an iron weapon, no matter how bad it hurt.

ofcourse, Edwin greatly appreciated it, and yet somehow you feel underappreciated.

they never changed the name, even though you joined, they were the ones people, well, ghosts looked for.

it was always "where are the two boys we were told about" and never "aren't you one of the dead boy detectives?"

when Crystal joined, she didn't seem very fond of you at first, which you honestly didn't mind too much.

could you blame her? she got her memories stolen by her demon ex and now she has no idea where she's supposed to be, where her home is.

when the four of you went to Port Townsend you thought little of it.

it was just one quick little case, right?

wrong.

because of your brother Edwin using a simple spell on a cat that you guys got stuck here.

when you first met the Cat King, you were intrigued to say the least.

maybe it was his way of talking, maybe it was those eyes that captivated you, whatever it was, you felt drawn to him.

but ofcourse, he only looked at your brother.

was it normal to feel jealous like that? you love your brother dearly, you shouldn't want to take something like that from him, right?

right?

when you met Monty, you thought he was pretty cute.

not your exact type, but cute.

but ofcourse, yet again, Edwin was the star of the show.

eventually Monty wanted to hang out with you too, but it was after the third time of him asking to hang out that you found out the only true reason was so he would have an excuse to see Edwin when walking you 'home', which really pissed you off.

so you left, mumbling something about just wanting to take a walk alone for a moment.

much to your luck, they accepted it without another thought.

as you walk, you can't help but notice the amount of cats you see everywhere.

Edwin was supposed to count them all, right?

maybe you could help by counting aswell, and telling Edwin later on how many you saw.

but you were too upset to really do that, so you just kept walking.

until you notice that one of the cats seems to be following you, no matter how many times you turn a corner, or stop for a moment, it seemed to follow your every move.

up untill a specific part, near the woods.

you thought it finally stopped following you, untill you turned around to see none other than the Cat King standing there.

that startled you, for some reason you didn't exactly expect it, and you nearly tripped if he didn't catch you.

"why are you here? why did you follow me?" you instantly question him, which seems to surprise him atleast a little.

"woah, calm down, i wasn't following you, i was just... taking a stroll... okay no i was totally following you" he admits.

"has Edwin counted all the cats yet?" you roll your eyes.

"no, obviously not, he would've gone to find you if he did" you cross your arms and look away from him.

why did he have to look so charming?

you thought he'd leave, but he didn't.

why was he still staring at you?

"you know, i only pay so much attention to him because of his spell on one of my dear cats, you should remember that"

"why would i care who you give your stupid attention to" you practically snarl, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by your tone.

"now, now, no need to feel so attacked. i just want to know, what is it that has gotten you in such a sour mood" he nearly sounds like he cares.

nearly.

"nothing, i just wanted to take a walk" you lie, hoping he'd just leave you alone.

"right, lets try that again, hm?"

he swipes his thumb over your mouth, and much to your surprise you spill everything that you've been keeping quiet about.

"it's just that, i really do love my brother, truly, but sometimes i wish he wouldn't be the one getting all the attention, like, you gave him all your attention back when you wanted to punish him for his 'crime' and Monty only wanted to hang out with me to get closer to him and i just wish that for once, just once, someone i'm interested in would actually see me too. Edwin and Charles, now Crystal too, always get so much credit for solving cases too, and yet i'm the one that keeps getting hurt, that keeps being the target, i always put them above me and ofcourse i'm not greedy about getting attention or gratefullness but does it really hurt that much to ask if i'm okay? if i'm okay with being the bait when it's necesarry? if i'm okay with being ready to face death and go to the afterlife so she'll leave them alone? is it too much to ask for just a little care that's more than just some simple praise?" you ramble on for a bit, barely noticing the small, sypathetic smile on his face.

"now, now, darling, that is quite a lot of emotion, huh?"

"oh fuck off" you snap back, the tingling feeling of the spell he used to make you tell him fading as quick as it came.

"i see you, i have for a while" he admits.

"do you have any idea how hard it is to focus on being intimidating and giving your brother his punishment for using a spell against one of my cats when you're right next to him, all pretty and enticing" he drawls out as if he's a kid who's throwing a tantrum about not getting icecream.

"i mean seriously, have you seen yourself?"

"not exactly, i don't have a reflection as a ghost" you mumble, trying to ignore the growing heat on your cheeks.

he rolls his eyes.

"tell me, what form should i take to entice you to... stay with me, atleast for the night? Monty? Charles? Crystal? i can be whoever you want me to be, my dear [name]" he says as he takes the respective forms of each person he lists, and you notice how even though he practically shape-shifts, one thing always stays the same: those eyes you've grown to love.

"just be you" you murmur, daring to take a step closer to him, to which he subtly licks his lips.

it seems as though he's about to say something, but then he kisses you instead, taking a hold on your waist, he seems to be more gentle than you expected, and you kiss him back.

if someone told you that this kiss lasted for hours, you would've believed them.

it felt as if you got that peacefull after-life that you were promised, without ever leaving behind those you care about.

reluctantly, you both pull away.

"can i stay with you tonight, then?" you mutter quietly.

the Cat King nods, taking your hand, ready to lead you to his abode.

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#the cat king #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki #the cat king x reader #dead boy detectives x reader #request

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sitepathos · 1 month ago

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I just found your story 'from gold to mold' and I did read all these chapters, one after another. I ate it all like I was fasting all day!! Your writing is so good I'm in love. I even got my sibling to it just so I can have someone to talk to about it!!! (Sorry, English is not my first language)

I do actually have a question and a suggestion:

1| Y/N had a scar because of Damian but he lost it after chapter 3. But it seems Alfred didn't notice it, it was not even mentioned that he noticed it was gone. It made me want to see his mind. Does he know who is Y/N?

2| About Y/N who was in like a coma state. From what I know his muscles will be so weak he will have a hard time to even sit up and every move with his head will make him dizzy because of blood circulation being slower than normal because he is sitting in one place most of the time. So just thinking of him coming out of his mind, having a hard time to even move, feeling super dizzy and just after seeing Alfred, Bruce walk in and call him "my baby doy!" If I'm Y/N I'll cring so hard ma butt checks will clap. (⁠ノ⁠ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ

I don't think he will be capable of screaming much because he didn't raise his voice for a month (and didn't talk much as well). His trout muscles will be weeker and he will probably hurt it from screaming.

If we combine all of this the amount of rage, hate and pain, helplessness and stress Y/N have will be royal! emotions affect the body more than we think! this amount of negative emotions will be distractive to Y/N's health. (⁠ノ⁠｀⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

Anyway please take care of yourself and stay healthy, I hope you the best. ⊂⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠⊂⁠)

Yeah, that’s a bit of an oversight by me, sorry! I actually had it on my mind to include in Chapter 5, but it slipped my mind. That man knows everything about everyone in the Wayne Family and knows when something is wrong, so he’d totally know something happened if he saw your scar missing.

But, it was a small scar, easy to miss if you didn’t know any better, but every time you looked in a mirror, it was the first thing you noticed about your reflection. Maybe he thought you found some product to conceal it because he knew how much you hated it and Damian for giving it to you. Plus, he noticed your behavior changed and that’s what he was mostly focused on.

Well, that and trying to get your “family” to notice you.

Also, about the scenario about you coming out of your coma: they might have moved your limbs to prevent atrophy, but not being able to move them at all still takes a toll on them. So, you’re not gonna be running any marathons or lifting heavy weights any time soon.

But, your rage burns bright and your hate for them is so great, you don’t care about your body’s condition and willing to make your condition worse just to say how you feel about them.

To see you hurting yourself just to call them every name in the book really opens their eyes to how they’ve wronged you.

It may take some time, but eventually you’ll calm down and when you do, they’ll swoop in and bring you back into the family.

They capture criminals and lock them up only for them to escape and do it all again, they have the patience of saints (despite being the farthest thing from it).

#asks #from gold to mold

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imdead770 · 9 months ago

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curtis sister!reader hcs?

(idk dude, with the gang or just with the curtis')

The Outsiders x Curtis Sister!Reader

Authors Note - I don't know exactly what you meant, so I'm just winging it. Enjoy! Ps: I did the whole gang, so some of these are platonic (because their you're siblings, duh) P.P.S: You're Sodas twin, it's just easier and you're in a better age range. Yeah.

Darry Curtis -

Since Darry is more laid back on Soda, I think he'd be laid back with you, too. Only difference is he's way more protective of you. Only thing is he has no idea what to do with you since you're female. He tries, though. Like if some guy broke your he'd beat their ass. Anytime a new partner comes he gives them the dad-style lecture. Pretty much the ideal big brother.

Sodapop Curtis -

Well you are twins, so it's only logical you're close. If I'm being honest people have probably thought you two were dating. Like you're both hot as hell. So everything someone asks you both are like 'Ew, we're literally siblings.' You two are basically joined at the hip. Not like matching outfits close, you two have different lives, but you and Soda tell each other everything. Since you both have middle child problems, it makes sense. Basically you 2 are besties.

Ponyboy Curtis -

Literally talks to you about everything. Girls? He comes to you. School? He comes to you. You're like the one big sibling he can open up to. Somethings he tells Soda, others he tells you. He finds comfort in you since you kind of remind him of mom. No one else sees it, but he does. You two argue, he's your little brother, it's only logical. Mostly about really stupid shit like he ate the last piece of chocolate cake pr something. But despite that you two are really close. Yahoo.

Dallas Winston-

Since he comes to the Curtis house a lot, he sees you a lot. And since your Sodapop's twin, you're hot as hell. You can see where this is going. The gang caught on whenever Dal would start inviting you to hang out with them. Or if you'd leave and he coincidentally had to go meet Buck at the same time. Anyways you're dating, he treats you as nice as Dallas Winston can. Darry hates it. Of all the nice boys you could've dated you picked the one most likely to break your heart. He's caught Dal sneaking in at least 5 times. Anyways Dal treats you pretty well, so eventually Darry treats him like he used to. It takes a while, though. A lot of glares.

Johnny Cade -

He met you whenever you wandered into the kitchen for something. The whole gang waved like you were a normal occurrence, so Johnny went with the crowd and waved back. He almost fell off the arm of the couch when you smiled and waved back at him. Honestly, your siblings were all for this. Johnny's the sweetest thing alive, he's your best option. Heck, Soda probably set you two up. Once you two started dating Darry didn't really care. It's Johnny, he had no reason to threaten him with a loaded shotgun. Johnny still gets nervous around Darry, though. Plus one time Pony walked in on you two kissing and it was awkward for them for like 4 weeks. Other then that it's like you aren't even a Curtis sibling.

Two-Bit Mathews -

He met you whenever you came out to hang out with the gang since you got bored of studying. He cracked some jokes like he usually does, but once he realized you thought he was funny, he made a scary amount of jokes, even for him. The gang noticed it, Darry was already like 'fuck no'. He's practically an alcoholic, you're too good for him. Somehow he pulled you, and Darry isn't as protective, but he still glares. Like if Two-Bit invites you to a party, somehow Darry pops out of thin air and glares. It's scary. But eventually it just becomes normally and everyone's okay with it. Anytime Two makes a dirty joke Darry silently threatens him with his life, though.

Steve Randle -

You came over to DX one time to ask Soda what he wanted for dinner. Instead you were met with Steve, who had no idea you were Soda's twin sister, and started hitting on you. Eventually Soda, you two talk, Steve connects the dots. He doesn't care though, he keeps flirting with you everything he sees you. Eventually you two start dating. Soda thinks it's weird, like his best friend is literally dating his female self. Steve didn't see it, though. Darry isn't too strict, I mean sure Steve's a dumbass but he doubts he'd hurt you. So no one really cares except Soda. He'll never see you or Steve the same.

#the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders #dallas winston #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #steve randle #two bit mathews #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders darry #the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders two bit #the outsiders dallas #the outsiders hcs

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cosmic-nopedog · 4 months ago

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Could you possibly share more of your kirakira swap au... it is very inch resting to me!! (also- cute art :D)

THANK YOU, I AM GOING INSANE WITH NO ONE OTHER THAN MY BROTHER TO TALK ABT THIS OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD

ok ok so, its a very simple swap au as i've said and im gonna be shooo honest with youo, its ciel x ichika, i like the ship i think they are cute together SO ITS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GOING TO BE KINDA LONG

In this au, ichika is a fairy from strawberry mountain, and goes off to paris to learn about sweet making like ciel in the og, however unlike ciel, she goes alone and does learn from jean pierre and gets shot into the lime light, but the thing is that she kinda feels like somethings missing.

yeah she makes a lot of kiraru with her technique alone and her passion for sweets making but it feels a lil.. empty, she is a very lonely girl and at the beginning very clumsy [its still ichika cmon dsfjn vg] so she kinda also has this like BIG imposter syndrome thing going on, she masks it well enough for PR and what not but shes kinda worried that this all is just a big stroke of luck and some day shes going to inevitably fail.

I will say i do have kind of a storyline in mind so bear with me dfkjbnjkdf.

Anyways, she goes on her life in paris as Uzuki Ichika: Prodigy Patissiere [am still making the au so bear with me for there will be changes here n there] and nothing more, UNTIL, she runs into Usami Satomi [aka Ichika's mom in the og storyline] and they talk, and she learns that Satomi is a doctor and lives in strawberry mountain and all that stuff and shes in paris temporarily as part of her job, and i want them SOMEHOW i've yet to really think about all the details to develop a sorta soft ish guardian&kid relationship like, thats not ur kid but might as well be type thing.

ANYWAYS, after enough time [yet to be determined] i feel like ichika starts confiding in Satomi alot of the feelings she has going on and Satomi brings up the idea of taking a break and going back to like her home town, and Ichika does agree and all [BUT I WANT SOME REALISM HERE RIGHT not too much tho we still have fun,] but does bring up the fact that she probably wont have a place to stay if she does so [excuses cus she could very much so stay with the fairies] and CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but a long time ago i did read something about how if you know like, a family in a country well enough they can like take u in for some time? like Adopt you so tospeak AGAIN I MIGHTVE HALLUCINATED THIS but if not yeah, THATS what happens.

So shes staying with the Usami's! yay! well just the dad cus Satomi does have to travel cus of her job n what not, and goes back to strawberry mountain to hopefully clear her head and maybe remember why she did all of this in the first place.

THATS THAT ON ICHIKA, which im going to be sho honest with you, shes the one i've like thought abt the most, mainly cus i like making the pink cures depressed kdsnbjkfdb BUT ALSO because shes in SUCH a situation and i find that inchresting.

I WILL ALSO SAY, im not swapping everyone, just ciel n ichika, mainly cus i find making ichika a fairy and ciel a cringe fail amateur patissiere very fun and inchresting BUT I DIGRESS.

NOW, AS FOR CIEL, shes a normal girl that has just moved into strawberry mountain, ysee, she is originally from strawberry mountain but moved out at some point in her life and decided to sort of move back in to take care of her grandmother who still recides in there, Rio also came along with her cus I LOVE MY SIBLING DYNAMICS OK.

SPEAKING OF, the way i see their dynamic is that they are very close and yes they stil have their shared interest in sweets and what not but ciel is more of a What happens if I double the amount of batter type interest and Rio is more of a Watches 3 bilion youtube videos on alot of recepies that he sometimes asks ciel if they can try out. Which ofcousre has a very diverse rate of success kdjfhbjbk.

They have the Passion and all the Feelings into it but Not alot of technical skill, I do think they meet Pekorin the same way Ichika met Pekorin in the og story, AND I DO WANT TO MAKE RIO A CURE, HE WILL BE A CURE I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

OH speaking of, i did kinda change Ichikas and Ciel's cure names, Ichika is now Cure Meringue and Ciel is now Cure Velvet.

AND THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE LIEK SOLIDIFIED AS OF RN!!!

I do have some liek spare thoughts here and there like, Ichika and Pekorin Have a sybling dynamic slash are actual sisters and at somepoint i want ichika to get stained in shadow maybe same with Rio but i have yet to figure out a cohesive storyline for that, BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTT!!!

Also do NOT spoil me shit, I have NOT finished Kirakira Precure as of rn, IM CLOSE BUT NOT THERE YET.

LAST THING: i will call this AU very simply Strawberry Meringue Au

That is all.

#asking for barking #borks into the void #asks #Strawberry Meringue AU #THIS IS VERY LONG BUT I AM ILLLLLL

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katiekatdragon27 · 1 year ago

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To my other followers: I am so sorry.

To my two new followers: *comes out with silver platter* Here! Eat uuuuupppp~~~~

This! *slams fists on table then slams face on table* This GODFORSAKEN MOVIE HAS ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY I'M NOT JOKING.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF "RECLAIMING MY CHILDHOOD TRAUMA" MINDEST MY BRAIN WAS ON BUT THE OBSESSION WITH THIS PIECE IF MEDIA IS ACTUALLY SCARING ME-

Most stuff below. Lots of rambling.

So. Flatland. It's a good book, and an amazing f*cking movie. I love this goddamned movie so much bro. It's not even like a "good" good movie I just really like it for no reason.

Some lore I have with this book, since I want to talk about it.

I watched this movie the first time when I was in 6th grade. It scared me so bad that I had nightmares about it for a week. I hated the style of the 2D world and was so scared about the amount of murder that I psychologically blocked it all out.

Now in the present (as an adult in college), my friend brought up the movie for us to watch during a movie night. I was way more excited to watch it than I thought I would be (cuz of my previous encounter with it and wanting to "reclaim" the movie), but we only got 4 minutes in before my other friends got bored and decided to watch something else. I sorta dropped it for a bit after that before @/goosesartblog posted their ONE - Flatland crossover and 10000 emotions flew over me. I then proceeded to watch it with my siblings, who also did not care about the movie.

Now, it has become a lifestyle of watching it every single day. Every. Single. Day. It's bad. I can't stop.

And it's on YouTube for free.

AND the book is on YouTube as an audiobook AND the actual PDF book is just there to read.

PLEASE. I NEED PEOPLE TO NOT BE NORMAL WITH ME.

Anyways, actual relevant doodles. These characters are A. Sphere (the objectively best character idgaf) and Carlton Cube(?). I saw something about them being John-locked and thought it was really funny. Also, I saw a meme about the two getting Starbucks or smth during the week I lingered, so here lol.

Some more doodles of concept stuff. Actual A. Square art and some style testing, Hex doodle, and more A. Sphere bc I love him so much. His ass is gay idk if you think I'm wrong just look at him.

Silly little idea I had about if Spherious *(the sphere from the other Flatland movie) and A. Sphere were in the same universe. It's unlikely, but I think Spherious would be the Messiah of 2000 and A. Sphere is the Messiah of 3000. They met at some point where their lives overlapped, and Spherious tried to give A. Sphere advice, to which he was completely ignored. A. Sphere's a bratty teen here and Spherious is a grandpa. They treat their apostles very differently.

Another silly idea I had was that when A. Sphere "died", he was actually picked up by a 4D being named A. Tesseract. He stays with her until the war is over in his dimension, and he is able to see A. Square one last time during his hallucination (that's why A. Sphere's innards are seen). Also also, A. Sphere learns how to treat people better b/c of A. Tesseract and the 4th dimensions' more liberal views on expression and gender. Development for the stupid shiny solid.

Thank you for looking at this mindless rambling. If anyone knows of more Flatland media, please send it to me I'm starving. Expect more, and have a great day :)

#flatland #flatland 2007 #flatland the movie #a sphere #a square #spherios #flatland oc??? kinda???#a. tesseract is mine ig #idk anymore lol #flatland spherious #carlton #hexagon #a sphere my beloved #he's so me #sorry for the shitty pictures my camera is being ass rn #i sincerely apologize for this cringe guys it will happen again #doodles #katiekatdragon27

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royboyfanpage · 9 months ago

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Hello I really like your page. It's nice to see so much great Roy content and thoughts!

I was wondering your thoughts and opinions on Roy's relationship with Mia.

!! You're too sweet, tysm!

As for the ask:

Short answer? That's his little sister.

Long answer?

I'll be honest, I haven't seen all that many interactions between them in canon. I do have my own thoughts and feelings about them but, upon looking through some comics I've read, I haven't found many where they're actually talking. I have managed to find panels which show they *have* talked and have a good relationship in canon, but I've only seen them actually interact a few times and have definitely read more content with her and Connor, so if you have any reading recs I'd appreciate that :)

Because of this, my point is gonna be a lot more based on symbols and my own interpretation than actual sources, so some of my opinions may be disputed by canon content.

To start with, Roy's fiercely protective of Mia. Even from the beginning, he expressed his dislike of the thought of Mia becoming Speedy-

-because he knows first-hand just how detrimental that role can be to a child's mental health. Speedy, to him, meant a lot of bad things. I have a whole lotta thoughts on how the original sidekicks, particularly Roy and Dick, view becoming sidekicks, but I'll try and summarise. To Roy, Speedy meant losing any chance of a normal life. Keep in mind Roy was 13 when he became Speedy- he absolutely was not old enough to decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, and yet once you're *in* the hero business it's extremely difficult to leave.

And when Ollie first tells Roy that he's gonna make Mia Speedy, Roy's reaction is essentially that.

He's angry at Ollie for making Mia become Speedy, not because of "It's my name", it's not, Roy hasn't been Speedy in years at this point. He's angry because that is a seventeen year old who Ollie wants to throw in there, a seventeen year old who'll be making the choice to, in his eyes, throw away the rest of her life before she can even vote. And Roy's absolutely right about the world being different- Roy's teen years were spent in the gold and silver ages which were definitely a lot less dangerous than the 00s. And I think there's definitely an element in that fear of "look what being Speedy did to me" in Roy's fears. While it's likely Roy was an adult by the time Snowbirds happened, considering the amount of drugs he had experience with and the different connections he'd built it's safe to say that Roy was already an addict by the time he was Mia's age. But what I don't think Roy understands is that Speedy isn't that for her. She's already gone through the shit Roy's scared of her going through and more, having been a child prostitute and meth user by the time she was fifteen. To Mia, Roy isn't a cautionary tale but rather an inspiration- someone who'd gone through a similar situation to her and come out the other end.

After this, their relationship definitely progressed. Roy comes to trust Mia and her identity as Speedy, as well as letting her have things (that he kinda shouldn't have had in the first place, but all vigilantes are criminals it came free with the independent delivery of justice) that could help her as Speedy-

-and trusting her with Lian who he's always been fiercly protective over

And their relationship in the few times I have seen them together is incredibly sweet, with Mia reassuring Roy that he's a good dad and that it's not his fault that life gets in the way of his time with Lian.

So yeah. I really hope that they get to interact in the ongoing series because the Speedys should absolutely talk more. I think that Roy naturally has a great instinct with younger heroes, and he's absolutely someone Mia respects and looks up to.

Anyway I think Roy should take Mia and Connor to a theme park for sibling bonding time <3

#roy harper #arsenal #red arrow #mia dearden #speedy #sorry this took a while to answer! i didn't have much time to spend looking for panels most of today #tw drugs #tw child abuse #also i had to go to RoA again to get one the panels and almost cried #i will never talk about RoA because that comic makes me cry just thinking about it

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thevalleyoftriumph · 3 months ago

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hi!! saw your post of DID Chosen (am I allowed to call it that??) and I have been curious ever since, apologies if any of these has been asked before https://www.tumblr.com/thevalleyoftriumph/757624875107090432/so-um-for-those-who-arent-in-the-ava-community?source=share ^ Post I'm referring to just in case What are your characterisations of Chosen, Beast and Killer like? Going off of Killer not recognising Dark in the post, it was Chosen fronting in AVA3 yes? Who was fronting during showdown? Going once again off the post Beast is non-verbal/ mute/ straight up doesn't know how to talk, is that why he resorted immediately to violence upon returning from Alans PC? Assuming that was Beast Was Chosen co-conscious during showdown? Simply watching as someone else used his hands to tear his best friend apart? Or did he come back to find his life destroyed, and best friend killed, with no idea how any of it happened Also, what are Chosen, Killer's and Beasts pronouns? I assume they differ from eachother. And are your Chosen and Dark siblings? Sorry I'm aware this is an insane amount of questions, apologies if it is overwhelming Final thing, all I know about DID is from DissociaDID (may be spelled wrong) on YouTube, and I have no idea how trustworthy of a source they are, nor have I watched them in years, so apologies if any of the terms/ information I have here is out of date or proven false Anyway, that's all, hope you have a good day :]

hi oh my god anon i love you. sorry i just really adore getting asked about stuff i love yapping and youve offered me a LOT to talk about, please expect a MASSIVE wall of text. like i mean it the wall is huge and took me like, an hour or two to type up. you opened the floodgates anon.

FIRST THINGS FIRST ☝ never apologize for being curious it is the most wonderous trait a person could have. i have spoken about some of these before but mostly in the replies or dms of people and thus it is perfectly okay by me to ask for me to repeat them here. secondly your questions are not at all overwhelming in fact i got very excited to answer once i realized how much youve asked. thirdly your phrasing is pretty accurate yes! ones you used are def pretty common, and i appreciate the willingness to be corrected - lots of phrases [though not specifically the ones you used, i mean more generally] are picked up and dropped by people for a whole variety of reasons ranging from comfort to accuracy to current knowledge, so being open to being corrected is a wonderful mindset to have when going into something youre unfamiliar with ! <3

anyhow, answers to the questions, numbered to each, under the cut ^_^ and just for ease im also going to actually type like a normal human being just this once lol. last warning here if you click "keep reading" youre in for a MASSIVE wall of rambling!

1: What are your characterisations of Chosen, Beast and Killer like?

I'd say my characterizations aren't anything too far from common interps, mostly regarding Chosen.

Chosen is a relatively soft spoken and monotone individual. He's prone to getting lost in thought a lot, especially when in conversation - he likes to think things through very much before speaking. A stick of few words, he likes being simple and blunt. He has a very hard time trusting people, but when he does, he trusts fully and deeply -- he is a very, very loyal person once that trust is earned. Even if someone he trusts does something to cause him to become upset with them, such as with Dark, he is willing to hear them out. Despite this, he's also very rash - much as he loathe to admit it. He may not speak without thinking, but he very much acts without thinking, sometimes even doing something without realizing it at first. This leads to a lot of things bad - such as him shoving Dark from the console in the flashback. He acts in ways he thinks he should, consciously or not. He's also got a bit of Dark's stubborness - once he sets his mind to something, it's a very difficult task to get him to back down.

Killer is, despite their name, very different from what you'd assume. They're a relatively happy person, all things considered, and despite having trust issues of their own, often tries to see the best in people. They're also a more ""casual"" fronter, bordering on co-host, as they usually end up in front for more minor things, or even just incidentally after they wake up. They're quick to adapt, usually masking as Chosen in these cases, but are equally quick to relax in safe environments and be more themselves. They're very talkative, and love learning about any and all topics that interest them. They also fidget a bunch - often with the ends of the body's scarf, or with their bracelet, gloves, belts, whatever is closest. Despite all this, they're also quite jumpy - they are primarily responsible for internal things, especially regarding their memories, and thus holds quite a few negative feelings and memories that they'd all rather not have. And yet, somehow despite all of that, they have a hard time with people. Like shown in the comic, Killer isn't always in front, and doesn't have access to nearly as many memories as you'd think for someone with their "role." In fact, they had no idea Dark existed until the very moment in that comic, which in my mind takes place years after Dark and Chosen ended up living together. How on earth they managed to go that long without meeting him, well your guess is as good as mine. I'd say it's a mix of good timing [or bad, depending on how you look at it] and generally "better" circumstances not requiring them to switch in as much as they previously had to.

Beast... Beast is a whole other can of worms, honestly. It's a general wildcard. The result of being treated inhumanely and without compassion, Beast is someone who is stuck in fight or flight mode for it's whole life -- and it's response is anything BUT flight. It is aggressive to anyone outside of the system, and anything it could see as a threat to their safety. Like I mentioned, it doesn't really speak - internally, it can't, and externally, it just forgets that the body isn't limited like it is, so it ends up silent. This leads to a lot of body language - it is incredibly expressive, and has a bit of a staring problem when it's not actively trying to maul something. Honestly if I drew sticks with eyes it'd totally do that thing that cat eyes do in the dark where it just looks at you super ominously from the shadows lol. Anyways, despite this, as I will always reiterate when talking about Beast's personality, it is not malicious. It is not evil, and it is not trying to hurt people on purpose. It is, first and foremost, protective and scared. It does not know HOW to calm down, or how to feel safe, because every time it's ever fronted, it has been faced with progressively worse and worse circumstances. It is determined and protective, and willing to go to great lengths to protect the system -- and perhaps, one day, if it can heal enough to trust others, it would do the same for them. If you thought Chosen was loyal, then you haven't seen Beast at its absolute best.

2: Going off of Killer not recognising Dark in the post, it was Chosen fronting in AVA3 yes? Who was fronting during showdown?

You'd be correct, for the most part! During the beginning of AVA3, when Chosen was still imprisoned as the ad-block, it was primarily Beast - thus, the chains on it's design, and its seeming unawareness of them. Then, once freed, Chosen had essentially force-fronted into co-front with Beast to fight his way out, eventually allowing Beast to sorta "pull back" out of front over the course of the episode - probably when Chosen and Dark team up. [And for clarification - when I mean "pull back," I mean sorta slowly being pulled from front in a switch. I'm not ever really sure how to describe what it feels like to slowly not front instead of being forcefully switched out, but this is how it makes the most sense to me. I'm sorry if it makes absolutely zero sense to anyone else lol]

As for who was fronting during Showdown, I'll admit that I haven't entirely decided. Initially for sure, during the flashback, it is 100% Chosen. Even during the early fight scenes it's primarily him - he's not being completely overpowered or even threatened with complete death [as, at the very least in my interp, Dark never intended to kill Chosen, just incapacitate so that he could go through with his plan. He only started striking to kill with the CG, but not Chosen - never Chosen.]

However, I'd say Chosen and his systemmates were, after a point, REALLY fucking blurry for a lot of that episode. Rapid switches that left them disoriented and dizzy and much slower to react than they'd usually be. When Chosen goes back to Alan's PC, that is when it's not necessarily unclear anymore. I'd say at that point particularly, Chosen has pulled away enough for the sorta blurry mess in front to be exclusively Beast and Killer, with Killer being busy masking as Chosen to get rid of the Virabot, but Beast being sorta hovering ominously over their shoulder internally thanks to the SEVERELY negative associations with the desktop. Killer's masking would probably have slipped a bit at seeing the CG, mostly out of personal shock at learning about them, but they would've left back to the Outernet before they could really think too hard about it.

The rest of the episode, especially when Chosen is seen overpowered by Virabots, is totally 100% Beast IMO. The situation of being contained, restricted, overpowered and in danger - life threatening to them, even if Dark never intended for it to be that way - it was much too similar to their early days on the desktop. Thus, Beast VERY solidly force-fronted and in doing so with taking complete ""control"" made it so neither Killer NOR Chosen were there for the ending of Showdown. A lot of the actions done once TSC came back were just done out of shock, and a very rare show of trust - TSC had shown Beast that they were willing to fight to protect them, collectively, even if it was really in response to their friends being harmed - protect one, protect them all, if that makes sense. TSC had removed the threat, and thus, Beast had sorta filed them away as one of the very few ""trustworthy"" sticks - even if it's not necessarily trust, it's the closest thing to it.

3: Going once again off the post Beast is non-verbal/ mute/ straight up doesn't know how to talk, is that why he resorted immediately to violence upon returning from Alans PC? Assuming that was Beast

Beast totally had a hand in it, yeah. Despite it and Killer being relatively equally "there" so to speak during the return to the PC in Showdown, Beast did have a MASSIVE influence on their collective actions. Killer fought because it knew it had to prevent bad things from happening, while Beast fought because it was the ONLY thing it knew to do to prevent bad things from getting WORSE. That is to say you're pretty spot on there lol

4: Was Chosen co-conscious during showdown? Simply watching as someone else used his hands to tear his best friend apart? Or did he come back to find his life destroyed, and best friend killed, with no idea how any of it happened

As briefly explained previously, Chosen wasn't the only fronter for a lot of it, and got completely booted out of co-consciousness after a point. Thus, while he knows logically that he fought with Dark, and when he DID front again, he could connect two-and-two together and realize that Dark got fucking murked, you're right to assume has remembers VERY little of the in-between and the specifics.

In fact, quite a few memories from even the co-conning were instead "given" to Beast and Killer. That's not exactly how it works but it's the best way I can describe it, based off my own experiences with co-conning with others -- sometimes you just don't end up getting the memories if there's multiple people in front, for one reason or another.

Anyhow, yeah, most memories of that day are kinda stuffed in the metaphorical closet. Chosen knows something happened between him confronting Dark and him ending up at home on the couch with a hole in the 2nd floor walls, but he just.. doesn't remember any of it. He can make the connections - he can look out the window and see the result of TSC's final blow to Dark from their house, after all. He can tell Dark isn't just hiding out somewhere. He's forgetful, not a fool. But he doesn't know what happened in the fight, or necessarily who killed Dark, and honestly Chosen's internal communication with his systemmates is absolute shit and there's no way in hell Killer OR Beast are leaving notes about a Really Traumatic Event in a journal for him, so his ass is NEVER finding out unless someone tells him.

[Which, to explain why he knows of TSC's powers in Wanted in that case, on some occasions memories do get ""passed"" from alter to alter. This is usually done in the case of "filling in" for the host, for example, where the alter requires information that another alter had taken in. This is commonly seen in situations where, for instance, a system is out at the store, but whoever entered had switched out for one reason or another, and the new fronter needs to mask as the other one to finish their task without "giving away" that something happened. This isn't the most common thing for Everyone I'd say, but it happens with my system sometimes, and also happens with some of my system buddies too. Thus, in my mind, it happens to Chosen too sometimes. It doesn't ALWAYS happen! Ie, that time Killer had no idea who Dark was. But it Can and so I'm portraying it here lol.]

5: Also, what are Chosen, Killer's and Beasts pronouns? I assume they differ from eachother. And are your Chosen and Dark siblings?

They do, yeah! While I've seen some systems sorta default to one or two sets of pronouns collectively, a lot of alters DO have preferences for pronouns pretty commonly. I mean, I myself vary wildly from some of my systemmates, a lot of whom, for example, use she/her, but I myself don't at all! It's honestly pretty interesting to see the differences, from a curiosity standpoint.

Anyways, back to Chosen. I would once again like to state that these are my personal headcanons and also I don't own Killer OR Beast, I'm just giving them character, and thus not everyone may agree necessarily.

Chosen: He/him primarily, but doesn't mind they/them too. He's kinda like that one tweet that's like "I think I'm nonbinary but I have a job so idc about that right now" in a way lol

Killer: They/them. Has a very wavery sense of identity though, so it's not like they'll get mad or anything at other pronoun usage. They honestly encourage people to get a little fun with it.

Beast: It/it's. Not in a dehumanizing way, but in a reclaiming sort of way.

Lastly, in my interp of Chosen and Dark, they are indeed siblings, yeah! I really adore the headcanon of all 4 hollowheads being siblings, it makes me incredibly happy, so it's like that in pretty much all of my interps/AUs. If it's work done by me, you can probably assue Chosen and Dark are related lol.

anyway yeah that's about it i'd say :] once again i love you so very much for asking questions, and i hope these answered them and didn't just run you in circles for twenty minutes ! i do have a bit of a habit of just yapping on and on and not being very clear, so if anything doesn't make sense or if you want me to expand on any points, or even if i've just repeated or even contradicted myself, then feel free to point it out or ask anything else! ^_^

#also putting this in the main tags since it involves a hc that a lotta you guys seemed to like :]#so this is a lil treat for you all.....#tco ava #the chosen one ava #killer ava #beast ava #alan becker #animator vs animation #not tagging dark since hes only Kinda mentioned and isnt a main focus #but for those curious yes dark does show up in my mile long rambling.#kitkat chitchat #also anon yes you may call it that <3 #i left it intentionally vague initially since i projected a lot of my own symptoms and experiences onto him #and felt that actually Labeling him with My Specific Disorder was like.... TOO revealing #and im big big on my privacy [esp when it comes to my mental health medical history lol]#but like. it was probably obvious regardless when you looked at it like that HELP #and with how positively people reacted im not Too scared to really be public with Just The Name.#tldr yeah youre more than welcome to call the hc that! youll usually see Me Personally just call it system chosen #since its what ive Been calling it in my mind lol #but idm you calling it that at all <3

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burningsolarsystem · 1 month ago

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You know, for the longest time, I thought I didn't have any childhood amnesia.

Sure, sometimes my siblings would tell a memory, and I'd be like, "I don't remember that," or "That's a really vague memory, but I do vaguely remember." But I always shrugged it off because I figured I just had bad memory. I never thought I had childhood amnesia because of trauma or whatever because I have a decent amount of memories from my childhood. Maybe not a lot, and most are hard to remember if I'm not actively being reminded of them or thinking about them, but I have them. I do remember my childhood.

Sometimes, I'd question if something was wrong because I don't remember how old I was when things happened. So it always confused me when people would be like, "I was eight when..." etc, because I have no clue how old I was. But I just figured either they are guessing, or I just had a bad memory. That was always my excuse, I just have a bad memory.

It took a random English writing exercise to really shake my denial.

We were talking about how the usual portrayal of a plot mountain isn't accurate and that most stories won't follow the stereotypical plot outlines you've been taught. She then had us draw our own plot mountains based of our lives. It was a simple five minute exercise, not graded or anything special. I didn't think anything about it.

Until I sat there with my pencil on the paper as a good minute passed. I knew the moments that would define my plot mountain. I knew which ones would be taller and which would be shorter. I knew all that. But I had no clue what order they went in.

So not only do I have no clue how old I was, I don't even know at all when it happened. I couldn’t tell you which came first or which came later. If the memories didn't happen at distinctly different periods of time, I don't know what order they were in.

Towards the end of the time limit, I just guessed. She wasn't the type to force us to share, and it was personal, so she wasn't likely to grade it anyway. It didn't matter. Yet I stared at my notebook on the verge of a breakdown because I didn't know.

She explained the assignment so simply. She talked as if I should know. No one questioned it outwardly, so if they did question it, it was in their head. Which means that it's considered normal. Which means that, it seems, I should know the order of events in my life.

And as I questioned, the more I realized. The fact that I don't know how old I was. That I don't know the order. That most of my memories have little to no emotion attached to them, most of which I only feel now about them because I don't really remember how I felt. How most of my memories feel like I'm remembering them through a screen and that they happened to someone else. And that most of my memories have no detail. When I try to think of details, like how things and people looked, it's filled in with memories of now. I have no clues of when something happened because I can't remember how most things looked except for how it currently looks.

So yeah, guess my "bad memory" is worse than I thought.

And I'm probably a lot more traumatized than I give myself credit for.

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sith-shenanigans · 4 months ago

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Introduction and Masterpost

Hello! I’m Io (with an i, not an L), they/them, enthusiast of evil space wizards and other assorted terrible people everywhere. This is primarily a SWTOR blog, but I post about other fandoms occasionally, and have recently fallen down a terrible hyperfixation hole about Fallen London. I write longfic, on a somewhat inconsistent schedule; chronic illness makes it difficult to put out chapters consistently.

I don’t have a DNI, but I block bigots and anyone whose posts I’d prefer not to see. I don’t do shipping discourse, and I don’t necessarily care what you ship, but see the previous sentence; if it makes me uncomfortable, and there are definitely things that make me profoundly uncomfortable out there, I’ll probably block you. (This has much more to do with tone than content—I have triggers, I’m all for people experiencing unpleasant things in safe ways, but the moment it feels like they’re being written as good and sweet and normal I’m going to nope on out of there as fast as I can. For my own mental health, and because the alternative is me biting someone’s head off.)

For my own part, I often write about dark subjects (especially in regards to my SWTOR OCs), and this blog may contain untagged discussion of fictional slavery, speciesism, systemic child abuse, state violence, toxic and abusive relationships, and similar topics. Mentions of sexual assault are generally tagged as “sexual assault cw.” I try to tag discussion of parental or school-based child abuse as “child abuse cw,” as well as in-depth descriptions of it in general, but I can’t 100% guarantee it. I try to remember to tag what friends ask me to tag, but if we don’t know each other well, I may not be able to manage it.

For neurodivergence reasons, I find it extremely difficult to describe images most of the time, but I’m trying to include alt text on screenshots of tags more consistently, and I’m attempting to tag my own posts with undescribed images as “undescribed.” (This includes most of my Fallen London posting, because there’s just enough formatting to poke me in the “cannot easily transcribe visuals to text” issue.)

Liminality/Discontent (SWTOR):

Liminality Main Cast:

[placeholder]

Discontent Main Cast:

[placeholder]

Sunlight (SWTOR):

[placeholder]

Other/Miscellaneous (SWTOR):

[placeholder]

Fallen London:

Amias Arling, the Calescent Inquisitive. Heart’s Desire. A former freelance detective with a few unfortunate soft spots, who came to the Neath for a case and ended up framed for something their target did. Extremely clever and extremely driven, but embodies the maxim that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. Practically allergic to the direct route, unless it seems like no one would ever expect it. And even then, they’d rather take a convoluted way around.

SWTOR:

Liminality/Discontent, a sometimes-AU SWTOR novelization in multiple parts. Has a heavy focus on the implications that the game didn’t go into, the politics of the galaxy, and the pressure the protagonists go through.

like a moth to you, sunlight, a collaboration with my sibling @azems-familiar. Not very much is written on it, because collaboration is hard even when both people involved aren’t chronically ill (and our hyperfixations are largely elsewhere right now), but we love our terrible children anyway.

Liminality/Discontent:

The Dead Star; The Ruin, a prologue of a sort. As yet unpublished. Also works as a standalone work.

Anamnesis, a KOTOR novelization with a certain amount of playing with the format. A tragedy, if a bittersweet one, and a case study in why villains with good motivations are still villains. On hiatus.

Liminality, my pride and joy and occasional mortal enemy. The first and primary of two SWTOR base game novelizations, covering the Sith Inquisitor, Smuggler, Sith Warrior, and Jedi Consular storylines. It deals heavily with loss and family—the latter both by blood and by choice, and sometimes unexpectedly uncovered. It’s also about history, about the boundaries between past and future and life and death—and the things that survive when someone is gone. The galaxy is full of dangerous secrets, and cycles that seem inexorable; in the end, though, what matters most are the choices you make and why.

Discontent, the fic I will someday definitely write. Covers the Jedi Knight, Imperial Agent, Bounty Hunter, and Republic Trooper. It’s about war, mostly, and cleaning up other people’s messes. Nobody gets to step off a battlefield as the same person who walked onto it, if they make it off at all, but there are reasons to keep trying—even if only some of them are good ones. And somebody has to be the one to chase down the conspiracies in the dark.

Sacrifice, as yet not even started, which will cover the portion of the game running from the end of the class stories to Ziost. There’s a fourth fic for the Alliance era, tentatively titled Conviction, but there’s less in my head about how that one’s going to go.

Sunlight:

still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs), about spies and loyalty and people making slightly better decisions than they could have. Written primarily by @azems-familiar, who Illami belongs to. (I helped write Ardun.)

Other/Miscellaneous (SWTOR):

your last serving daughter, a collaboration with @reconstructionlegacy. Our silly little AU about Empire and the people who wish they didn’t live in it. Also infrequently updated due to the trials of life and coauthorship.

Fallen London:

None, yet, but it will happen. I can feel it.

The organizational banners used can be found here.

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multi-fandom-agereg · 1 year ago

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Hello hello it’s me again!! I saw that you know about eddsworld:,,,, Im a little shy to ask but do you think you could do the neighbors caregiver headcannons? Or just Eduardo if that’s easier!!

🥪 The neighbor's as CGS {Eddsworld} 🏡

🎀 ;; of course! (-from someone who was a fan of Eddsworld since 2014.) That show is very goated! This would probably make 12 year old me happy jsjs. I wasn't sure if you wanted all of the neighbors or just Eduardo in particular, so I decided to do everyone but Eduardo has more Headcanons than the other two <3 I didn't add Todd since he isn't really in the show, but if you wish to see a headcanon with them I would be more than happy to write something about them:] anyways enjoy! Ty for requesting!

Jon 👑!

👑 ; probably the most sweetest out of the trio. He doesn't agree with any mischief you think of, but is too shy to stop you from doing it.

👑 ; howeverrr if this mischief ends up with you or someone in danger, then he steps in. He wants to act tough but can't if you are so gosh darn adorable

👑 ; dressups and play dates with stuffies. He always gets so excited when he's invited to these! Literally invite him with your stuffies, he will get just as excited as you and your stuffies are

👑 ; very childish, you could even mistake him as a little at times instead of a CG. But in his opinion he thinks it adds wholesomeness into your regression. Everyone needs wholesomeness right?

👑 ; princess/prince/princex/majesty is the most common petnames he will call you! Really anything involving royalty is your petnames. Besides the occasionally slipping in the petname "bunny"

👑 ; baby spoiler without knowing it. Want cookies? He will get you them. Want to stay up later than normal? He will let you. Want a stuffie from the store? He will get it for you. Just do the baby eyes and you get what you want. Sometimes just a "please" will win him over

👑 ; no thought. Just Jon ✨

👑 ; oh yeah, this man loves cuddles. can you tell?

Mark 💌!

💌 ; full of himself with alot of mistakes in his caregiver life

💌 ; don't get me wrong. He isn't doing anything on purpose, but he's doing the good in the wrong ways

💌 ; with Eduardo's help and Jon's advice he is doing his best he could for his little

💌 ; though he isn't bad at his job! He isn't a baby spoiler, but he LOVES giving you physical attention

💌 ; combing/styling your hair (if you have any), dressing you up like you're at a concert, and doing mini fashion shows! In his opinion those are the best to do

💌 ; the type of caregiver to be like "where does this go..??" While holding a sippy cup of yours. He's trying I promise

💌 ; not big on petnames, however he refers to you as "little one" when talking about you

💌 ; more like a big brother who just wants to make their little sibling happy

💌 ; usually refuses to watch the shows you want to watch with him, but the second it's on he is glued to the TV

Eduardo 🦸

🦸 ; when you asked for this man to be your caregiver my man CRIED. (Happy tears of course)

🦸 ; acts like he's a strict CG at first glance. But is very patient and sweet to you

🦸 ; not at all a spoiler, but if you did something to earn it he'll buy you anything you want.

🦸 ; loves LOVES super heros. He has a habit of rambling it to his little about it. And sometimes would encourage you to dress up as super heros with him

🦸 ; (general headcanon) he's autistic! And he stims alot, and it's most just sounds. Such as; "yippee!, Yay!, Eee!, Yeee!" Or sometimes just straight up screaming. He tries to cut back the yelling part, but sometimes he just can't help but get excited

🦸 ; collects figurines of heros you can play with, you just have to be a bit careful with them

🦸 ; moderates the amount of sugar you drink/eat, knowing it's important to limit things like this. Even if it is a pain, you'll thank him later

🦸 ; "bud/little one/sweetheart/kiddo" is what he calls you. Of course adding ones you wish to be called If anything at all. But he respects your decision if you don't want to be called petnames

🦸 ; matching pajamas! He squeals whenever you two end up matching together. It's one of his favorite things to do

🦸 ; once when you had to be away from him for a few days (let's say school, college, work, whatever) he was too emotional about it for an entire week. Once you came back regressed, he ran to you and hugged you before spinning you in the air. (He misses you alot)

🦸 ; reads you bedtime stories literally every night before bed. He can never do without it

🦸 ; like jon, he's a cuddler. As a cuddler, he is a huge big spoon. Occasionally a head rester when you are sitting in his lap. He likes being touchy if you were comfortable with it

🦸 ; doesn't mind any petnames you call him, but melts if you were to call him "my hero/hero" he would get all stimmy and happy for a whole week

#Grey's Headcanons #sfw agere #agerespace #safe agere #sfw interaction only #agere blog #sfw blog #fandom agere #headcanon #agere headcanons #eddsworld agere

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timextoxhajima · 6 months ago

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Sonder: Part II

Parts: I II III IV V

member: enhypen heeseung! x oc! woo ki yeom [3rd person pov]

genre: coming of age, slice of life, angst, romance

w/c: 5.2k

warnings: topics on religion, distressed relationships, mental health (I want to leave an a/n here that I grew up with my maternal family being Buddhists so what I've written is based off what I researched online and the way her family practised Buddhism. I'm personally a free-tinker and this narrative is not in any way meant to offend nor support any particular religion.), mentions of death**

synopsis: after being kicked out of her home, Woo Ki Yeom is forced to live life on her own. struggling to find herself in the midst of her chaotic life, she meets lee heeseung, who, like her, can't give any more fucks to life than she does.

"n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own."

Sim Ji Yeon was the most perfect person to have existed in Ki Yeom's life. Under normal circumstances, the single child is the spoilt one. Unlimited attention from the parents or usually an unlimited amount of pocket money or allowance due to the guilt that piles up from the lack of attention.

But Ji Yeon was the complete opposite. She grew up with an older brother - Sim Jae Yun, who loved her more than any other sibling Ki Yeom has ever met. Her parents, though spend alot of time working abroad, regularly comes home or brings them along to wherever it was they were working at and treats it like a holiday. They have a border collie that listens to everything they say and a family that quite literally never fights with one another.

All of her friends love her and she probably never feels left out at all. Her parents let her wear and eat what she always wants to and Ji Yeon doesn't spend more than a couple of hours loathing over how useless she is or how unhappy her life is. She never gets angry with the person who gets her order wrong or frustrated when the person infront of her is walking extra slow. She's so secure about herself that even when she's aware someone shits on her behind her back, all she does is smile her pretty smile and shrug her shoulders.

And on top of all that, Sim Ji Yeon was happy.

During the five years Ki Yeom's family spent falling apart, Ji Yeon had extended a helping hand multiple times. But, it's in Ki Yeom's pride and anguish that these offers of help morphed into pity and sympathy. And one day, Ki Yeom just... gave up.

Gave up trying to explain, or say 'no, thank you', or that she's not in the mood for a meal she knows Ji Yeon will pay for anyway.

So when Ms. Perfect drops Ki Yeom a text a day after her father had sent her a letter (albeit to the wrong address), her morning is ruined.

Ji Yeon: Hey, how are you? Please reply me... It's been four years. Ji Yeon: We'll go out for a meal. Ji Yeon: I promise you'll pay for your own food.

Ki Yeom locks her phone and groans herself back into the pillow.

It's not easy to pretend a friend of 15 years doesn't exist.

But Ki Yeom's phone goes off for an 11am appointment - which is earlier than usual - and forces herself out of bed first. Reply later.

She's pulls the door open, telling herself that she'll get a coffee and a sandwich on the way to work, but first-

Nearly slipping on whatever she stepped on, Ki Yeom stumbles backwards, only managing to catch herself with her legs awkwardly opened and her fingers gripped on the door frame. She looks down, and stares at the envelope with a shoe print on it.

It's the letter from her father.

She looks up and down the corridor - no one. Did the boy leave it here overnight? Reaching for it, she notices a light pencil writing on the envelope itself, right beneath the wrong address.

I thought I should leave it here anyway. It's yours after all.

Sucking in a deep breath, she stares at it. But her second alarm goes off, calling her to fling it mindlessly into her apartment and shut the door.

Lee Heeseung had chosen to come out on his own and live the life he had always wanted. Quiet, but determined, he wanted to experience being out in the open, making new mistakes and learning all the new things. He learned that life was short and that regrets would be regretful. So, with about a grand in his bank account and an apartment that he had found with the help of his brother, he moved.

But don't misunderstand him, no. He does not have the wanderlust for life the way he seems like he does. In fact, he's in an ironic paradox with himself - if that even makes sense.

Heeseung had an epiphany after enrolling in university - he was a sophomore student when he realised his life was slowing down. Slowing down in the sense that life didn't seem to have much to offer him anymore. It was just: class, study, nap, eat, study, sleep, and occasionally have a drink or two with his acquaintances (because it takes much more than a drink or two for Heeseung to consider someone a friend).

And then he thought, what would happen once he's done with university? Will he decide to do a phD or a master's programme and prolong this cycle for another decade-ish or will he graduate and work like any other civilian?

My, God, he thought to himself on one of those nights he couldn't sleep. Doesn't life have so much more to offer? Surely it can't be that everyone's lives and hours are the same everyday?

If you could condense his thoughts and feelings into a sentence, Heeseung was simply rejecting the possibility that life was mundane, and in a bid to force all of life's forces of nature upon himself, he chose to move out on his own.

His motto? Make me want to live.

Heeseung was almost baited upon finding that envelope. He only looked through them when he got home and was on the verge of ripping it open before he noticed he doesn't recognise the name on the envelope. He pauses, fingers dragging along the edge and making out the name.

Woo Ki Yeom.

The unit numbers were easily mistaken - he stayed in 07-33 and whoever this Ki Yeom person was, stayed in 07-38.

He considers tossing out the letter, or even returning it to the letter box downstairs that was meant for the 'wrongly delivered'. But on the way to the lift, he stops himself, and looks down the hallway for the 07-38 unit. Sucking a deep breath, he walks over and knocks on the door, hoping no one would answer and he would have the chance to rip open the letter and read it for himself.

But he's proven wrong when the door opens, and it's the girl he lost a washing machine token to. Just because he wanted to be nice for once. He remembers he hasn't gotten it back though.

"Oh, it's you."

She looks... tired.

"If you're here for the token, I don't have any extra to return. I can pay you a couple of cents or a dollar for it if you're insistent."

Heeseung quickly shakes his head and lifts the letter to show her.

"Uh, this came in my mail. I think they wrote the address wrongly."

She carefully studies the words written on it, and glances up at him through her lashes.

Heeseung panics.

"I figured eight just seemed the most similar to three, so. Are you... Woo Ki Yeom?"

A pause.

"Yeah, thanks."

Heeseung watches as she gently takes the envelope, finding the edge of the flap to tear it open. In a terrible bid to find an excuse to stay, Heeseung blurts out the worst joke ever.

"Mail's not that common nowadays. They don't have your number or email?"

A little smile tries to crack its way through when she finally pulls the letter out, but she doesn't even bother looking at him whilst unfolding the sheet of paper.

"Yeah, they don't have my number or my email."

Oh, my God, she hates me.

"Oh," He mumbles under his breath, wanting to dig a hole and slap himself over the head if he could.

But the girl goes quiet as she continues to straighten out the letter. Her eyes seem hesitant and afraid, like it was someone she was afraid to hear from or someone whom she didn't want to look for her here.

What if she's dealing with some illegal activity? And this is just being passed off as an innocent letter? What if this isn't even hers?

Heeseung rubs an eye and purses his lips, unsure of his presense as she starts to read the letter. He was expecting her to finish it, then thank him and close the door.

Or... start crying and rambling about a broken-up boyfriend... or a family member who is knee-deep in debt-

But he's startled instead, when she angrily folds it back up - or rather, crumples it - back into the envelope. She shoves it harshly back into his arms, which shocks him.

Heeseung's eyes widen as she pulls backward, the haphazard letter-in-envelope awkwardly sitting between his arm and stomach. Frowning, he wants to ask her about her attitude and lack of politeness, but he doesn't miss her eyes that are looking down. A sheet of tears have coated them. They got shinier in the last couple of seconds.

"Um," He carefully whispers. "You... alright?"

She looks up at him, and seems embarrassed for a split second.

"It's not mine."

Ain't no way that's not yours.

"Are... you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," She rubs her eyes. "Sorry, I was just busy making dinner. I have to go."

"Right," Heeseung subtly readjusts the envelope and nods.

With pursed lips, she looks at him one more time for acknowledgement. He's quiet, and careful, as he takes a step back and turns to leave, hearing the door close behind him. Heeseung looks down at the envelope and letter, hands slightly trembling at the thought of what content the letter could possibly hold.

Later that night, Heeseung was busy planning out his study schedule alongside his piano tutoring sessions when he notices the envelope and crushed letter sitting at the edge of the dining table. He thinks about the girl's reaction - the letter must belong to her.

There's a little voice in his head going, No! Do NOT read it!

But Heeseung is a busybody and nobody's around to stop him anyway, so he sets aside his headphones and walks toward the coffee table.

Dear Ki,

I'm writing to share that I've gotten a job. I'm sorry if the address on this letter is unclear, but I hope a kind soul will have it delivered to you if it's wrong.

I know what I say now can't undo what has been done, but I hope you will forgive me. I just want to know if you were doing well, and if you were eating and sleeping well. If you have enough money for your meals and for your rent.

If you wanted to know, your grandfather keeps your secrets for you very well. He hasn't once budged about where you work, only the estate where you live, and that's only because a parent knows how another parent feels when their child is not talking to them and fending for themselves.

Your mother and I want to see you soon, so please... write me back soon and we can talk about a meal or a cup of coffee or something. Let us make it up to you. Make things right. I don't want the way we last saw each other to be the way we end forever. We're always praying for you, Ki.

Love,

Dad

Heeseung is almost touched. He folds the letter back up and fits it nicely into the envelope. Then, he grabs a pencil and scribbles gently on the surface where the address has been written.

The next morning, Heeseung wakes up at an ungodly hour - His classes were at 9am. Who even puts a class at 9am?

Grumbling his way out of bed and into the bathroom and then into the makeshift kitchen for coffee, he spots the letter. He can’t help but wonder what had happened between some parents and a child, for her to move out and quite literally hide from them. Why was she so angry?

Later, Heeseung gently places the letter on the floor right outside her door. Whatever will happen to it is up to her thereafter. She can toss it up or rip it apart and set it on fire and it would be none of his business. If her parents had done something so unforgiveable, then maybe she should anyway.

Heeseung straightens himself, then looks out the window to notice the clouds and impending rain.

Ahn Yoo Hyeon grunts and sighs, tossing the wet wipes into the little trash bag she brought along with her.

"I hope you're eating all the good food up there where it's probably free of charge and not susceptible to import taxes," She winces and wipes the sweat off her chin. Struggling to stand, she takes a deep breath when she's finally up. The late morning sun beats down on her dark hair and her exposed arms, sweat dripping down her back and her chest inside her shirt.

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Hurriedly grabbing another wet wipe to clean her fingers, she then picks the phone out of her pocket. She squints at the screen.

"Perfect timing."

"No way, you're there?"

"Mhm, just finished cleaning him up."

"Sorry I couldn't be there this year."

"It's fine. World won't stop just cause you can't make it this time."

"Anyway, the team's looking for artists. Planning on doing an international tour or something. If you have any names you'd like to recommend, send them my way."

"Interesting. What's in it for them and for me?" She snickers.

"You'll find out when you get me one or two," He pauses. "Say hi to him for me."

"He knows you'd be here if you could."

Yoo Hyeon looks down at the tombstone: AHN YOO KWON

Despite him being an unusual eight years older than her (with no other siblings in between), he treated her just like any other big brother would (as opposed to the other much-older brothers whom she knew treated their little sisters like princesses).

That was to say, he ruffled her hair everytime she had gotten it done, or stole her food without permission, or the reverse: she would rip the computer plug out from the power socket when he was in the middle of a game. He wasn't one of those 'golden-perfect' older brothers. He was annoying as fuck.

When her brother had joined a gang, and even if, in fact, he did not, Yoo Hyeon knew that he had mingled with bad company. This was strange and highly unlikely from the start, because she belonged to a family that prized education, contribution to society and hierarchy.

In hindsight, this could be why her brother even took a liking to those people anyway. Because he had found a place where he could be himself and not be bound to their parents' expectations. If he was born to be a criminal, then maybe it was, in some sick and twisted way, his calling.

Ironically, it wasn't those people who got him in a coffin. It was a cat who had been beaten up and tortured by a bunch of kids. He had found them in the back of an alley in the middle of the night, thanks to the mewling and crying of the poor mangled thing.

And upon finding them, you'd think that a 25 year old gangster would have the upper hand against the group of 15 year olds, but they were armed and he was outnumbered.

They didn't have the intelligence to drop it and run, which was shocking by any measurement, because that's exactly what he had expected.

He was found with gashes to his arms, face and body. Broken ribs, and had died from blunt force to his head with a piece of debris left in that alley from a renovation project nearby.

And all those kids got were a couple of years in juvi because they were 'underaged' and 'misguided'.

The cat survived. And Yoo Hyeon cried to it every other day it felt worse than usual. So when even the cat passed just barely a couple years later, which Yoo Hyeon then found out it was an old cat, she felt like she had lost every remaining piece of her brother.

Her parents may have forbidden them both to get tattoos, but she remembers the first time he showed her his first one. It was a little wave, the kind that a white girl would have on her arm, which was funny.

Then over time, he decorated himself with them, since he no longer cared what their parents thought.

But these were all just fragments of memories now.

Death is a funny thing, for with his death came Yoo Hyeon's call-to-action, and by 'action', she meant opening her own tattoo parlour without ever getting a single one on herself. Getting over it was one thing, but making sure that it was with reason is another.

Yoo Hyeon will carry this reason and mission for the rest of her life.

"Ki Yeom," Ahn Yoo Hyeon calls out. In between her fingers is a thin stack of papers. "Pay goes out today. Check your deck."

You'd think the person who owns a tattoo parlour would be covered in tattoos, or at least, one. But Ahn Yoo Hyeon grew up in a household that condemned tattoos and in a bid to seal it with a nail (and by seal it with a nail, she really means offer a slap in their faces), she opened her own tattoo parlour without ever getting one.

Whether this story was true... well, Ki Yeom had no way of verifying.

"Thanks," She takes the deck and flips through them.

Ms. Ahn had always been very perceptive - which is ironic, considering how little you can read from her face and her tone. So Ki Yeom isn't really surprised when the woman of few words starts another conversation.

"You look troubled," She pulls off her sunglasses and her fringe topples over her forehead. Ki Yeom had wondered a few times if Ms. Ahn had a boyfriend. "Which is strange considering your paycheck this month."

Ki Yeom looks up from the deck and looks at her for a moment. A knowing exchange. They are both children of family feuds that cannot be reversed.

"I wish I could give you advice," Yoo Hyeon lays a tiny smile, pressing the arms of her sunglasses against her own stomach to fold it. "But I'm not in any position to share any."

"Is it true? What they say about your family and that they didn't like tattoos?"

"Oh, they hated them. Thought of it as vandalism and lack of respect to the body. The funny thing is, I see what they mean. After all, it's a choice you make to permanently alter your body, even if it's minute and unnecessary. But it's not up to them to decide what strangers do to their bodies."

Ki Yeom is slightly stunned at the honesty and openness.

"What, surprised I shared so easily?" Yoo Hyeon chuckles and reopens her sunglasses. "You did well this month. More clients are asking for you."

She holds out a hand for the deck, which Ki Yeom returns. "I try my best."

"Do you still dream those dreams? The ones that give you your ideas?"

"Sometimes. But it's not like all my ideas are from my dreams."

She hums in response and slots her deck back into the folder. "Continue the good work. What you have... It's a talent that not many people have."

An awkward pause.

"Say, I just had an old client... Works for an art establishment over in Europe... He called and asked if I had any recommendations to let join their team of artists."

Ki Yeom straightens her tilted head. She turns and looks around, making sure nobody's eavesdropping.

"I'm- I'm just a tattoo artist."

"Whose job entails strangers trusting you covering their body in permanent ink. I think you'd enjoy this... challenge."

Another knowing silence.

"What is it that's keeping you here?" Yoo Hyeon squints, just slightly. She tilts her head now, as if trying to split Ki Yeom open and read through her memories like a book. "If the thing that's keeping you here isn't bringing you joy or any benefit to your life, then perhaps it's time to move on. Don't let the mistakes you couldn't fix create more mistakes in your life. Else, what's the whole point of the phrase 'Learn from your mistakes'?"

Her words are so sharp, so direct, so fast - it's like she had rehearsed them. They sit in Ki Yeom's heart and her brain and her throat.

"Drop me a text if you're interested. When you think the world is against you, that's when you know it's time to see the rest of the world and realise that the rest of the world actually doesn't care," Yoo Hyeon opens her sunglasses and fits them on her head. She turns around to the front desk and tidies up the remaining decks for the other tattoo artists. "And last I heard from this place, everybody seems to hate you anyway, hmm?"

Clearing her throat, Ki Yeom realises her palms are sweating into the deck.

"Thank you for the offer."

Yoo Hyeon picks up her purse, ready to leave. "You have only yourself to thank that the offer came by, else I wouldn't have even offered it in the first place. But I'll let you know... I'd be vastly disappointed if you reject it. Because then you just might have to work here for the rest of your life."

She offers an animated, stretched out smile, then turns and walks out the door.

The day passes like any other day, other than Ki Yeom's colleagues talking about their decks. Only Jun Yeol and Soo Min had the courage and were good enough friends with Ki Yeom to share each other's. Of course, Ki Yeom had topped sales again.

It was late and most of the other artists have gone home, leaving only them and one or two others with clients who have harder pieces.

"At this rate, you might as well buy the parlour and take over for Ms Ahn," Jun Yeol flips through Ki Yeom's deck.

"Speaking of Ms Ahn, I thought I saw her speaking to you this afternoon when she came in," Soo Min pushed herself over from her working space, the rollers making a frequent squeak-squeak noise as she rolls Jun Yeol's deck up in her hands.

"Oh, my God, I jinxed it?" Jun Yeol closes Ki Yeom's deck and places it back on her desk, arm resting on the edge and turning to look at her in slight disbelief. "Call me a sorceress."

"Soceror," Soo Min rolls her eyes.

"Words should not be bound by gender."

Soo Min glares at him. A cheeky silence as Jun Yeol gets up and snatches his deck from Soo Min's hands.

"She offered me a gig," Ki Yeom whispers, just loud enough for them to hear. Jun Yeol and Soo Min both turn to her.

"In some art organisation. In Europe."

"What?"

"That's crazy!" Jun Yeol's jaw drops, unfolding his deck and mindlessly hurtling it onto Ki Yeom's desk. "What did you say?"

"What's crazier is that she probably rejected it."

"I told her I'd think about it."

"Let me guess, until you die?" Soo Min raises a brow.

"You're a horrible comfort person!" Jun Yeol lands a palm on the backseat of Soo Min's chair and twirls her to face the opposite direction. "Well, what's keeping you thinking? What are the concerns?"

Soo Min squeaks back to face the party of two, looking around to make sure nobody else was listening.

"I don't know. I just... it feels so far."

"Isn't that the point? You're not happy here. Find your happiness elsewhere."

"Will you shut up?" Jun Yeol smacks her over the head, earning a harsh wince and a feigned punch from her. "It's a big deal. Not everyone can uproot and move away from a whole life they've known here. Plus, you have your grandfather, right? I mean I know you're not close but it's not like he's there. He's here. Everyone's here."

"She literally doesn't have any friends here - no offence - but if she can flourish elsewhere, I don't see why she should stay bound here like a poor dog chained to his-"

Then the parlour door swings open, the keychains hanging on the handle ringing as it does.

"Hi. I'm looking for Ki Yeom, I saw somewhere that she worked here."

Soo Min and Jun Yeol look from above Ki Yeom's head, then down at her face as she was backfacing the front door.

Ki Yeom didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She whirls around in the chair, standing as she does. "Who told you I worked here?"

Sim Ji Yeon forces out a sad smile, lips parting to find an answer. "I... I googled you. Took me a couple of minutes, but it wasn't that hard to find your name. Here."

Ki Yeom rubs the back of her neck, turning around to look at her colleagues. Jun Yeol rushes to her side, back facing the stranger as well.

"You look like you need help. Who's she?"

Soo Min shifts her chair so Ki Yeom and Jun Yeol blocks her from the stranger's vision.

"Uh... Long story short: Childhood friend. Fell out because... I didn't like that she was so happy and so nice to me and I felt like she was pitying me after I fell out with my family."

Jun Yeol scowls at her. "'Didn't like that she was so happy'? What are you, allergic to being happy?"

Soo Min swats him on the arm. "You were just telling her to stay here in this miserable place just a couple of minutes ago!"

"They are two very different things, bitch!" His eyes are about to pop out his head. "And did I just hear you call this place a 'miserable' one?"

"Alright, shut up. The two of you. I'm fine. I'll handle it."

Jun Yeol is about to protest when Soo Min reaches out, flicking her fist into his groin. He crouches over, cheeks puffed and lips pursed.

"I'll- I'll get you for that... later."

Then she drags him away from the front door's view.

Ki Yeom must admit, she's not all that surprised Sim Ji Yeon is here. She is persistent and diligent in all the right ways there is as a student and as a person, but that didn't mean that this personality trait wasn't annoying in other contexts.

"I know you've been reading my texts. I just wanted to know how you were doing. I don't know anything about you anymore and I just can't stand to know that... I no longer know anything about you and your life."

The street side lamp outside was illuminating the pavement behind her like she was an angel. Ki Yeom almost wanted to scoff at this sight.

"I don't know why it matters that you don't know anything. My parents don't know anything. Nobody knows anything, but I'm fine and well."

Ki Yeom can see that the words have stung her. Ji Yeon, like the last time she had seen her a couple of years ago, still looked as perfect as ever. Perfectly dyed brown hair, the type that makes her even prettier, but not bright enough for corporate jobs to turn her away. She has that clean girl look going on. White off-shoulder top and flared jeans and slip-on sandals. The ultimate casual pretty-girl look.

"It matters because I care. It matters because you basically disappeared, and for the last couple of years, I've been stuck wondering what I've done wrong. And if it was my fault that the friendship has turned sour."

"It's not your fault, it's mine. For being an ass."

"So at least tell me how you were being an ass. You have so much spine to be out here making a life for your own but you don't have a spine enough to tell me why I had to google you?"

Ki Yeom sharply tilts her head. "'Spine to be out here'? Have you... forgotten why I was even made to be out here making a life for myself?"

The taller clears her throat and looks down at her feet. "I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant."

Something beeps from behind them at the cashier's. A client awkwardly passes them and leaves.

"Look, I..." Ji Yeon sucks in a deep breath and sighs, gently shaking her head. "I just want to know what happened. And if after all the clearing up, you still hate me and our paths have just... diverged too far and too long ago, then I will just have to make peace with it. But I can't just leave this... it's like abandoning my house without reason."

And the world is even quieter than before.

Suddenly, there's one more thing that is keeping Ki Yeom from leaving, and she hasn't even had this conversation with Ji Yeon.

Heeseung doesn't do it often, but he has his door slightly ajar so he can see if the girl has come home. He hopes she doesn't notice it, because he knows it's creepy and weird and he's kind of an ass because he just wanted to see if he could get a glimpse of-

Ding.

The lift doors open, and he can just barely make out a shadow passing down his corridor. He carefully places his pen down, and makes his way to the door, head carefully peeking out-

"You are quite the busybody, aren't you?"

She uses a fist to shove the door into the apartment, the handle jamming into his stomach.

"Ah-" He groans, clearing his throat and moving backwards, fingers gripping the door. "Well... Humans are only... curious. The letter yesterday was obviously yours."

She squints at him. "You read it, didn't you?"

"Well-"

She kicks the door, pushing him off balance.

"Yes," He quickly admits. "I'm sorry! It just... you crumpled it all up and threw it back in my hands and you looked like you were about to cry so I got curious and-"

"Breached my privacy and read a letter that you knew wasn't yours?"

"Euhhhhhhh..." He squeaks, slightly shrugging his shoulders. "I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I know it's none of my business. Your life is yours, and I couldn't care less-"

"So why were you waiting for me to come back?" She perks up a brow.

"I mean- If you knew someone was going through a hard time, wouldn't you care?"

"Not if this person meant nothing to me."

"You're kind of harsh."

"And you're kind of nosy."

"Okay, okay! I'm nosy and you're sad, I get it."

Ki Yeom rolls her eyes and turns around to make her way back to her own apartment.

"Just so you know! I don't normally care either!" He partially shouts down the corridor as she unlocks her door. "I just-"

SLAM!

"...Am kind of going through an exisistential crisis too."

Heeseung sighs heavily, throwing his head back in frustration. Stepping backwards, he gently gets the door shut, turning around to look at the pile of lecture notes sitting at his desk. There's a gnawing, frustrating feeling in his chest.

Why does it feel like the world is so happening, and he's just a boring loser trying to find entertainment?

He thinks that maybe this mindset is selfish, and that some people would rather live their life in quiet peace. But why does he have the hunger for stories, for gossip and to learn the secrets of others? Is he not worth life's ups-and-downs? Is he so mundane that he will live a mundane life and die a mundane death?

Pathetic, he thinks to himself. He dragged himself all the way out here to find himself, to figure out what life means... and yet he's finding it in other people's demise.

Perhaps this life wasn't for him. Perhaps he belongs in a sheltered home, away from life's trials and tribulations. Perhaps God knows he's too soft and fragile for it.

PART III

#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #heeseung scenarios #heeseung imagines #heeseung angst

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pastelwhile-art · 1 year ago

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it'd absolutely make my day too some makokuu from you (i loved that illustration of them im insane about them)

what about some domestic makokuu 👀 them spending time together at home :3 no pressure ofc

Help I know I asked for saiki k requests TWO months ago and I had a really fun idea for an illustration, but my brain is a smooth cube. so that idea stays up in the air.

For now take a really quick silly crack doodle about one of the many possibilities I think Kusuke/Makoto telling Saiki/Teruhashi would go. Spoiler alert: it’s hilariously horrible.

(Saiki thinks they’re messing with them and Teruhashi is seething. Are they pranking them? Who knows.)

And ya know what? Beneath the cut take my redesigns of these guys and my notes for them because I made several months ago ‘cause I haven’t touched them since :(

Warning: I talk a lot.

A quick note! These designs aren’t meant to say ‘fix’ the original-they’re just for fun! Even if I think elements of mine look better, clearly the original works and are well loved. Also I’m not especially fond of these anyways JAJSJANW

Saiki doesn’t change much other than his palette is a more balanced. Also I really like designing hair, and wanted the idea that Saiki really tries to sleek it down to something very generic and unassuming, but the hairpins get stuck in the way and his hair sorta moves outwards from there. Continuing the idea that his powers make him subtly less normal. It also accidentally made him look A LOT more like his parents, oops.

Also I drew a comparison from his canon hair to his redesign, because I didn’t think it was particularly clear until side by side.

Also I actually gave this one a proper illustration lol.

Teruhashi’s design was actually partly inspired by @lu-kario’s human mlp designs because they’re really good :^ She’s also pretty standard except her hair and color (which I’m not too satisfied with.)

I like the idea of the Teruhashi Siblings being a bit supernatural, so along with weird shine effects, they also get constant wind effects! Like in all the anime where they have flowing hair at just the right times even though it wasn’t windy at all before? Yeah! Except that’s more Makoto’s thing while the shine stays Kokomi’s.

Also what ethnicity are these characters now? To me they’re still Japanese, but I think people don’t ever use a range of skin tones for the same ethnicity. But really these are just fun designs I didn’t really think too hard.

Kusuke! He was the first one I did and an absolute PAIN. He was also the reason I did this, because as much as I love Saiki K and respect the author, I just got to know what is going on with his debut clothes.

Well not like I did that much better… Kusuke is stuck with four alt palettes because I can’t decide which shade of weird yellow and purple to make his head and gown (I’ve resolved to draw his hair a different shade of yellow in every drawing.) His eyes also match Saiki with purple eyes, because I think they look better lmao.

Also, that’s his Cambridge gown he’s wearing. And fun fact-they have a great amount of rules on what color does gowns get an accent of based off what subject people are taking! I decided to not think too hard on that and just gave him a better looking gown.

And I really like the hair I gave him, the original to me just lacks a bit of anime shape style. Also his headgear is shaped like a graduation hat now lol.

He also has a silly little doodle for what he’d look like with his lab coat. It’s not here, but I like to think he always puts a ponytail up!

Last and also least xp, Makoto! He’s uhh about the same with the points I said with Teruhashi. Just very angular now. I swear I tried to design a better fashion for Makoto but I just ended up with the same.

I tried to style his hair how Japanese celebrities would, but I don’t know if I succeeded. His hair as I said is constantly blowing to the left lol. Also he has a hair clip now! In my head Kusuke gives him a telepathy canceller disguised as a hairclip.

Also anyone can draw or get inspired by these designs if you wanted lol Though I don’t really like these, I still use these hairstyle for drawing them cause I think they look cool lol.

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violamonty · 1 year ago

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putting this under a readmore because it ended up getting REALLY long-winded BUT. thoughts on tybalt vs. tank in terms of characterization. similarities, differences, yada yada yada. also some thoughts on the capp family as a whole.

(warning for discussion of internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity, but that's kind of par for the course when it comes to talking about tank in particular.)

tybalt and tank are really interesting because like. on the surface they seem really similar (like i mentioned before — gay eldest brothers of three who are deeply, deeply maladjusted from being used as a pawn in their families’ respective Problems). and i think that because of that, it’s easy to fall into the pitfall of just making them Essentially The Same Guy. (i don’t blame people for doing that! as i just said, they’re pretty similar guys.)

i know a lot of people (myself included) characterize tank as being a very repressed gay guy with a lot of internalized homophobia. that guilt compounds with his desire to make his dad happy by being, you know, A Tough Guy. buzz has already given up on ripp, and i honestly think he forgets buck exists sometimes. (the PSP game sure did.) tank is buzz’s last chance to have a “normal” son who follows in his footsteps by getting a wife and kids and idk, dying in a war or something? so there’s an immense amount of pressure for tank to be buzz 2.0 (AKA world’s straightest nuclear family having man).

except, obviously, tank isn’t built for that. he’s gay. he likes getting creative with his facepaint (or at least he did before buzz told him off for it). he wants to do ballet. he has five nice points, whereas buzz only has two.

tybalt, on the other hand, is not operating on NEARLY as many layers of internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity as tank is. what he IS operating on, however, is capp emotional repression. there’s a lot in game to suggest that most (if not all) of the capp marriages were arranged — goneril and regan aren’t in love with their respective spouses (nor are their respective spouses in love with them), and regan specifically never has been. the way the capp family is structured makes the concept of… courtship, i guess? into more of a transaction of status than anything emotional.

even if the concept of arranged marriages isn’t something that applies to tybalt specifically (and it may not be — kent is our only example of an adult male capp descendant, and he’s not married either), i feel like the concept of swallowing your true feelings for the sake of your family’s status is something that’s pretty pervasive among the capps. that’s part of what makes juliette’s relationship with romeo so scandalous. it’s not JUST because he’s a monty (although that is the primary reason) — it’s also expected that she marries someone who would bolster her own reputation, not just A Guy She’s In Love With.

anyways. tybalt is emotionally repressed, but that's less because he's gay and more because he's a capp. he isn't normal about the fact that he's gay, but that's just because he isn't normal about anything. he feels guilty about pursuing his own relationships because he feels like his whole life should be focused on his allegiance to the capp family (and, by extension, the capp-monty feud). he's invested so much time and energy into upholding his family's ideals (he maxed out his fucking body skill before even becoming an adult, for one. this guy's got problems) that it's become his whole identity.

why does tybalt care so much? memories between the three capp siblings are, as always, inconsistent, but i'm of the opinion that tybalt was the only one old enough to really Remember the fire that killed their parents. the capp siblings subsequently being taken in and raised by consort (who is arguably the most invested in the capp-monty feud) had a profoundly negative impact on tybalt's development, similarly to how the loss of lyla as a voice of reason had a profoundly negative impact on tank's. consort believed that the monty family was somehow responsible for the fire that killed cordelia and caliban, an idea he ended up passing on to his grandchildren.

juliette and hermia, being too young to fully remember the fire and therefore less blinded by a need for revenge, were able to see past that and see that it was kind of bullshit — the capp manor is an old house (so old that it doesn't even have showers), so the fire was almost certainly an accident. tybalt, on the other hand, is very reliant on authority figures to tell him what to believe (another trait he shares with tank), and all of a sudden consort is the only authority figure in his life. if cordelia (who was implied to be against the capp-monty feud by way of contessa's bio) had lived and remained a voice of reason in tybalt's life, he may have turned out differently... at least in terms of his opinion on the capp-monty feud. (i think that, unlike tank, he's kind of an angry dude no matter what. he has two nice points.)

back to tank. unlike tybalt, a lot of his guilt DOES stem specifically from the fact that he's gay — and, of course, that guilt ends up feeding into his anger and some sort of inferiority complex. he wants to be the perfect son so bad, but the fact that he's gay is (in both his eyes and his dad's) something that stands in the way of that. if he just Stops Being Gay, maybe everything else in his life will fall into place. (it won't, but he doesn't know that.) i think that in order to unlearn that internalized homophobia and self-hatred, he has to distance himself from buzz first. i'd like to think that he ends up doing that eventually, but i'm also not sure if it's realistic — he gets his camouflage facepaint tattooed sometime between the PC and DS versions, and that particular facepaint design is something buzz approved of. (i'm looping back to the "creativity with his facepaint" secret because it makes me sad.)

tank being shitty to ripp is an extension of his need for his father's approval (although that's less 'my interpretation' and more just. actually canon, i think). part of it is him mimicking what he's seen buzz do, but part of it is a subconscious jealousy that ripp is brave enough to rebel against their shitty dad. the ever-present toxic masculinity in tank's brain tells him that he has to be a brave person, but on at least some level he knows that ripp is braver than him — ripp, who paints his nails and wears smudged dollar-store eyeliner, is being a hell of a lot more courageous than tank, who is decked out in camouflage from head to toe because it makes his dad happy. and that's something that won't leave tank's mind, no matter how much he would never admit it.

anyways. tank and tybalt. if they ever met (which i think is unlikely — tybalt lives somewhere italy-adjacent and tank is in like. new mexico), i'm not sure if they would be friends. it really depends on what stage of their lives they were at (i think they'd hate each other as teenagers because they're so similar). i think there would be something else there, though. some sort of acknowledgement. a recognition of the self through the other.

#do i main tag this? fuck it we ball. why not.#the sims 2 #tybalt capp #tank grunt #ts2 premades #these are just my interpretations btw. if you disagree its ok i love you. <3 #anyways. take my comments on tank with a grain of salt because i havent played the sims 2 GBA and i know that one has lots of tank content.#i need to... i could see myself becoming a tank guy. he has a lot of character potential.#.txt #most of this was written at one in the morning btw i just tidied it up real quick before posting. teehee

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alexanderlightweight · 2 years ago

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I loved the Chronic Pain!Alec story! Could I request Deaf!Alec and specifically his challenges?

Hey so first, if anyone is deaf/HOH and would like to correct anything please feel free to let me know. This fic did not have a sensitivity reader (though if anyone volunteers I’d welcome but also i do not expect it)

i hope you enjoy anon ty for the prompt!

Alec shivers as his awareness rune is activated, the sensitivity a familiar rush that envelopes him. It means any injuries he’ll get he’ll feel tenfold, but it’s worth it. Alec can feel the currents of the wind, the sensation of a demons form crawling from the shadows and the shaking of the earth where they step.

What he can’t hear will be made up for and demons are nearly silent anyways. Alec never really understood why everyone thinks his success is shocking when half of his enemies don’t even make noise until after they’re attacking.

Everyone thinks Alec should be at a disadvantage but he doesn’t think he is. For every mission he’s given, it’s completed perfectly. He’s the most highly decorated solo hunting specialist to ever be seen and Alec knows the clave hates him. They hate what he’s proving, that shadowhunters with what the clave considers limits — who are normally hidden away in Idris — are just as if not more capable, than what the clave considers their perfect specimens.

Alec was supposed to have a team but there is only so much he can do when his siblings won’t listen to him. Which is ridiculous, considering Alec is the one who can’t hear. However he can read lips and while the amount of permanent runes that Alec bears is more than most can handle and more obscure than usually allowed, Alec wants what he wants. It was ridiculous that his siblings expected him to still cater to their insubordination and willfulness when they knew how much was at stake for him. So Alec had submitted a request to become a solo hunter and shipped his protesting siblings to Idris where his parents had gone once he’d turned sixteen.

After all, it’s not his fault that Valentine experimented on him as a child and his hearing was taken as a result. If anything, it’s his parents and Alec makes sure that they know it, every time they try to shame him or push him down. Alec looks at them and he smirks, because Alec lost his hearing before his parents took him and ran but Alec didn’t lose his voice.

Though not for a lack of Valentine trying.

“Was it the screaming?” He asks his mother one day when she's speaking so fast he can barely read her lips, interrupting her and rolling the words over his tongue, feeling the reverberations of his own throat as he works out where to let the sounds linger. Talking is a necessity when one is a commander, even if Alec only ever leads teams from behind a screen with another on the comes, interpreting for him.

“What?” Alec sees her lips say, because she’ll never lower herself to using mundane sign language, no matter how beneficial it’s turned out to be for shadowhunting teams as a whole and not just Alec. They have a rune that lets them see in the dark, being able to communicate silently is a boon, not that his mother will admit it.

“The screaming. Was it the screaming that made you run? To flee Valentine? I remember it, I remember you held me down at first and then he promised to make it all better and father held me down instead.” Maryse is staring at him in horrified realization and Alec smiles, because his memory of it goes deeper than Maryse’s walls do. “I think you were crying. I wanted you to call me baby and hold my hand and tell me I’d be okay, that you’d protect me. You didn’t though, you’d stopped comforting me already, I remember that. Instead it was ‘Valentine please’ and I never heard your voice again.”

Maryse is shaking and Alec grins meanly, teeth sharp because if she’d ever once been sorry he would have accepted it but it’s too late now. “Was that all? I have an Institute to run.” He brushes past her, deliberately turning his back in a way that makes the conversation over. Maryse will have to grab him to stop him and she won’t, because Alec won’t let her.

— “Mirai!” he calls, because while he’s never sure how loud he’s being, his second is normally close enough or someone is close enough to let her know. A few minutes later she’s there, a large tablet and a file in her hand and she’s shaking her head as she follows him to his office.

He signs out, ‘meeting now. Reports first. Demon sighting new’, and Mirai sighs and keeps her head turned to him so he can read her lips as she looks at her tablet.

“Very well Commander, I’ll see that the weapons room is restocked before any teams are sent out. Apparently the ichor cleaning team is backlogged again.”

‘Idiots gone?’

“Indeed. It seems we’ve finally culled the herd enough that we are lacking in imbeciles who act before they think.”

And Alec keeps his laugh silent because his joy is rare and sacred to himself, and instead he just smirks meanly.

‘Good. Weapons priority anyone off.’

Mirai nods and puts down her tablet to respond, ‘confirmed’ and then she leaves and Alec stares at his desk overflowing with so any missives that he’s tempted to set them on fire. Instead he reaches for the first one and grins. The High Warlock of Brooklyn is finally responding to his request and Alec is hoping that if there are wards he can add to his Institute so that he doesn’t have to have his runes as active as he does. He manages, but it’s exhausting and it does wear on him over time.

So it’s with an unfamiliar flicker of hope that Alec eagerly sends over an answer and he wants this to work, but he makes himself focus on his other work and then, two hours later and message with the same elegant scrawl of the first reply flashes into place.

Alec reads it with a growing grin before tapping out a message on his tablet. Mirai will take care of everything for him and he knows that all of his people will ensure that High Warlock Bane has the best experience in an Institute he’s ever had in his life.

Though, considering how the clave feels about anything they consider different, Alec doubts the bar is very high. Which is fine, Alec is perfectly happy kicking it off the ground and shattering the celling of the claves idiotic prejudices with it.

#writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #lumine writes #shadowhunters #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

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