#Anyway if u read all the tags here's a secret:

[sprucestairs]

Hypnos wins a bet (and a fight) by being left-handed.

Hi I had this idea after noticing that Hypnos holds his quill in his left hand and I thought, huh. Greek warriors like say, Achilles, probably never fought against left-handed people because it was considered like a curse or whatever to be left-handed. Anyway I then proceeded to do 0 research about this and instead write fanfiction.

Another day of mindlessly signing in the visitors to the house, and sneaking in a couple naps so he could do his actual job.

Sure it was boring, and repetitive, but Hypnos found enjoyment in such things. It was almost calming, in a way. When he wasn't getting yelled at for slacking off, that was. Speaking of which...

"Hypnos."

Ah, shit. Than had that look on his face again. The one that meant he was confident he was going to prove someone wrong. Then he stopped dead in front of him.

"I believe that you could beat Achilles in a fight."

...What?

There was no way. Achilles? ACHILLES? Who was hired specifically to be the head of security for the house and personal trainer for Prince Zagreus? THAT Achilles?

"I also may have already placed a bet that you could." Of course he did. Hypnos kicked him in the leg.

"WHY would you bet that I can beat ANYONE in a fight? Let alone Achilles- he's like- one of the greatest warriors the mortal world has seen!"

"But he was mortal. And shades are notably weaker then their living counterparts." Thanatos countered, decidedly ignored his attempt at kicking him.

"But *I* am a poor fighter. Remember what happened with Sarpedon?" Thanatos just waved him off.

"Please. That was because there were far more people trying to fight us, in the midst of a war. This will be a one-on-one fight in a controlled arena." Hypnos narrowed his eyes at him. Thanatos gave him a shit eating grin.

"I'll help you train for the fight, of course." Of course. There was no way out of this one. His brother had made the contract completely airtight. He sighed.

"Fine. Where?"

"There's plenty of training areas in Elysium. I'll find one somewhere near where you reside." Whatever. He nodded half heartedly and turned back to his endless list as his twin exited with a flash of green light. He was actually excited to sign in the countless deceased mortals who ventured across the river Styx now. Better then getting his ass kicked.

~~~

He went home immediately after his shift ended. Knowing Than, he'd barely have time to get a power nap in before he came clanging in with the sound of funeral bells.

True to character, Hypnos was in fact awoken by a clamour of tolling bells, tearing him away from the realm of Sleep where he had been weaving dreams.

Thanatos either didn't notice his glare, or just didn't care.

"Where do you keep your weapon? I can't see it anywhere." He asked instead. Hypnos rolled his eyes. Why waste his time and energy in crafting a place to put his sword when he can just keep it immaterial until the rare occasion he required it. Stopped it from getting lost, as well. His brother appeared unimpressed by the simple instrument.

"You've seriously never made a more... personalised weapon?"

"No need." He grumbled. "This is plenty personalised. I can wield it well enough."

"C'mon then." Than motioned him towards the exit.

The training area Than had found was pretty close by, to be fair. It also happened to hold an unattended spear.

"From one of those hero shades." His brother explained. "It was dropped when Zagreus and I were fighting some of them. I'll have to return it at some point." Hypnos couldn't help laughing at that.

"YOU stole a hero's weapon? Why?"

"It's not stolen!" Thanatos countered. "I'm just holding on to it until I can find the rightful owner. Besides, Achilles fights with a spear. You've got to know how to beat a spear-wielder."

Okay. Well. The spear was here regardless, and it WOULD be better to train against the weapon that Achilles would be using. The twins started out with simple moves, ones their mother had taught them when they were very young. Hypnos, surprising himself, managed to get into the flow of training quicker than Thanatos.

"Damn thing's like an an amalgam of my regular weapons." Thanatos grumbled. "Can't remember how my next move's supposed to go." They continued on for what felt like forever. Eventually, though, the ever present exhaustion plaguing Hypnos grew too large to ignore and he had to return to his realm. The last thing he saw was his brother, resting at his side while planning further training.

This became something of a routine between the two. For a good few days or nights, or whatever passed for such underneath the earth, they would each attend their separate duties in the house and later meet in the same arena to hone their skills. Hypnos almost managed to forget that this whole thing, all this quality time with his brother, was to help him win a bet.

Almost.

Though of course, eventually the day came when he would have to face Achilles in combat. And of course, most of the House had become aware of it some way or another. And Hermes. Because the messenger God knew just about everything except the future. (That was a job given to one of his own many brothers.)

"Alright there, Hypnos?" Zagreus slung one arm around his shoulders as he spoke, bringing him close to say, in an exaggerated whisper, "remember, his heel is his weak spot." Hypnos's only answer was to roll his eyes. If no one had known about that weak spot, Achilles would've come to the underworld far later.

He found himself... nervous. He often was, the few times anyone had bothered to task him with something important, but this was different. In a way, this fight placed his own honour and status as a God on the line. Even though it was a carefully controlled arena, and mostly recreational, if he lost this fight, he would become known as the god weak enough to be bested by a mortal shade.

Zagreus seemed to realise he wasn't in the mood for jokes, switching to a rambling tale of his latest (and probably vastly exaggerated) attempt at reaching the surface. He was only partly listening, though. He was busy trying to fine tune his plan to best Achilles. He knew he had far less stamina than the other gods, but how did that compare to mortals? One trained as a warrior, at that. Was it possible that Achilles could be faster than him? He just didn't know, and wouldn't until the fighting began in earnest.

Thanatos had tried to reassure him that it was impossible for a mortal to come even halfway to the abilities of gods, but he was a pretty pathetic god. And he wasn't blind, he knew the way his brother fought. He could tell that he'd been holding back when they fought together.

~~~

He stood in the arena proper now, Achilles at the other end. He seemed slightly puzzled by something, though Hypnos couldn't think what it was. Probably the fact that he'd actually shown up to the fight at all. The Champions of Elysium were sitting in the place of honour amongst the crowd of onlookers, the hastily appointed judges of the fight. Glancing around the rest of the crowd, he couldn't spot the King or Queen, nor his own mother. Though he did spot more of his siblings than just Charon and Thanatos, and he tried not to think about the things they would say when he got his teeth knocked out. Also Hermes. Seriously, with the amount of jobs that guy had, how did he find the time to come down to the underworld so often?

The signal was given to start, and Achilles began to stalk towards him, weary of any sudden tricks that the god might pull. But sudden tricks really weren't his thing. He stood his ground, fully aware that his opponent had a longer weapon that he could start using any time.

Rather, he used the shade's approach to study him. He still unconsciously held the habit of favouring one leg, the one that had been fully invulnerable in life. He lacked a shield, gripping a longspear with both hands. And as conditioned in the rules of this fight, he wore no armour upon his clothes. There was not much else Hypnos could learn by standing around like an idiot, so he began to focus on actually fighting the man still moving towards him. He had the shorter weapon, he would have to find a way to get in close.

Something in the shade's eyes seemed to shift, with a barely perceptible change in the atmosphere. The battle had begun. No more standing and thinking, just fighting.

Well, either way it would be over quickly.

Achilles threw caution to the wind in charging, hoping to catch the usually lethargic god off guard. Unfortunately, Hypnos did just about the opposite of what he expected and moved closer, giving himself the advantage with his shorter weapon. Achilles seemed strangely unbalanced in how he countered. Was Hypnos using techniques that he had never seen? No, he was no war-fighting god, that couldn't be it. Maybe it was the way he moved? He knew that gods often moved differently to how the mortals expected, maybe this was such a time.

He was tiring quickly, in spite of the endurance training that his brother had him undertake. The god of sleep simply couldn't stay awake for too long. He just needed to focus, to quickly find a weak spot in the defences of his opponent.

...There.

Achilles' habit of hiding his vulnerable heel made him unbalanced. All Hypnos had to do was strike low, and the great warrior tripped over his own feet. The rules of the fight dictated that the first one to fall to the ground for any reason would be the loser. And so Hypnos, stunned, was announced the winner of the fight.

He quickly found himself in the middle of a crowd of siblings he hadn't seen in decades, Ker even said he'd done well! And she fought with Ares' war band, so she had pretty high standards of what a good fighter looked like.

Achilles just shook his head, apparently in good spirits despite his loss. He congratulated Hypnos on beating him before going to talk to a few other shades. Zagreus thought the whole thing was hilarious, teasing his old mentor about the loss.

Even Hermes had stuck around to chatter at him for a while, and Hypnos found that he actually quite appreciated the energy the Olympian god brought.

After most had left, and Hypnos was once again alone with his closest companions, he recalled the strange way Achilles had seemed unbalanced, asking his brothers about it.

"I knew something like that would happen." Thanatos answered him, cryptically. "It's why I even made that bet."

Belatedly, Hypnos realised that he didn't even know who he had made the bet against. He was about to ask Charon what he thought, but he spoke first.

"Your fighting hand. It's different from most."

Hypnos squinted at his hands suspiciously.

"Seem like pretty normal hands to me"

Charon let loose one of his terrifying laughs.

"Yes, they certainly are. But you choose to hold your sword in your left hand. The warriors of Greece only train with their right."

Hypnos blinked. The warriors of Greece only ever trained to fight with one hand?

"What happens if a warrior was used to using their left hand?"

"Then, they would be turned away or taught to fight with the other hand I assume." Charon answered.

Thanatos had been trying to move slowly away from the conversation, but Hypnos dragged him back.

"You knew the only reason I could win that fight was because Achilles never trained against an opponent who was left-handed." He said, getting right in Than's face. He poked an accusing finger at his brother too, just to really make sure he got the point.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Hypnos." He tried to hide his face so Hypnos couldn't see the way he smiled.

"I made that bet because I knew that your godly strength would be what won you the fight." Hypnos didn't believe a word of it. He tried to yell at his twin, but Thanatos started laughing.

"What's so funny? Cut it out!" He complained, but for some reason he was laughing too.

Charon watched them amusedly, reminded of the times when the twins were young, and would argue about things that didn't matter. Even then, they would forget their arguments for the laughter that came from the ridiculous words they were saying. Truly, the bond that existed between twins, forged by the Fates was unbreakable. Even though they had spent years without speaking to each other, now they could laugh and joke as though none of it had ever happened.

~~~

"YOU WERE HOLDING BACK, THAN!"

"YES, FROM DOING MOVES THAT WOULD WORK WITH A SCYTHE BUT NOT A SPEAR!"

"STOP FIGHTING WITH WEAPONS YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO USE!"

"THEN YOU WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT A SPEAR WIELDER!"

...blood and darkness, they could get loud. Hypnos was now repeatedly smacking Thanatos, who was lain on the floor, with a pillow he'd found from the many scattered around. Charon found that he couldn't quite recall when they had even begun this, lost as he was in his thoughts. Growling, he moved between the pair, both of whom were still laughing, and confiscated the pillow by throwing it into a far off corner.

"Awwww, that one was my favourite." Hypnos complained. He wouldn't put it past his brother to actually have a favourite pillow, but that wasn't the main issue right now.

He playfully swatted at the pair while telling them to get back to their usual duties. Both rolled their eyes in unison. It was kind of unsettling, actually, but Charon would never admit to such outloud.

Eventually, with much playful arguing between the three brothers, Charon did manage to convince Thanatos to leave with him so Hypnos could rest. They could settle whatever argument they'd been having another day, and both he and Charon probably had a lot of work to catch up on.

[nereidprinc3ss]

do you believe me now? | 8

it's the morning after. spencer reid suspects you’re left with some doubts after losing your virginity to him. he has to figure out why—which is hard when you're keeping secrets.

series masterlist

this series is 18+ warnings/tags: fem!reader, blood related to losing virginity (dramatized for the drama duh), super vague allusions to the BAU being hungover, mild blasphemy if anyone even cares, pondering god bc am I really a fanfic writer if I don’t get a little religious w it, emily AND hotch are here and nobody knows why pls don't pay attention to that bc we are imagining like season 11/12 spencer and I'm inconsistent w who is unit chief in this series apparently, spencer slut lore, spencer emotional wounds lore, Spencer is a traumatic situationship survivor a/n: DADDYS HOMEEEEE (me and dybmn not spencer) anyway missed these little guys and am happy to be writing for them again!! idk what my upload schedule will becoming back to this but pls lmk what u think of this part, I have no idea how you will respond but I'm being brave and ily

Friday morning Spencer comes into the office fifteen minutes late (he tried his best), in yesterday’s suit (everything in his go-bag had been too wrinkled), hair messy (no doubt from your fingers), coffee cold (he’s exhausted) and overall, in an excellent mood.

The rest of the team isn’t faring quite as well—Spencer gathers they stayed at the bar celebrating Derek’s birthday a lot later than he had. It shows through sallow skin and dark circles and the grimaces he receives on the way to his desk that are probably supposed to approximate good morning’s. 

Honestly, he doesn’t mind the dull mood—he doesn’t need the teasing and the prying questions that would be sure to come if his co-workers were at peak performance and were able to put together his unusually perky demeanor and disheveled appearance. At least Prentiss doesn’t appear to be paying him any mind. She’s always the one who can read him like an open book and has no shame in doing so aloud. Echoes from years of, ‘so who was the lucky girl, last night, Reid?’ Still ring through his mind and it’s like he can feel her finger prodding at his side. 

The Emily of it all makes him smile, though the rest of the memory leaves a metal tang in his mouth. Back in those days, there were sometimes a lot of girls, but even then he was consciously aware he wasn’t necessarily doing something he enjoyed. He spent a lot of time, actually, staring at his bedroom ceiling, psychoanalyzing himself. Repetition compulsion. The insatiable desire to repeat or reenact emotionally painful experiences. Maybe he thought if he could teach himself to subsist off of emotionless hookups, he could in some way heal from his experience with Elle. Though, he’s hesitant to think of it now as healing—it’s not like he didn’t know what he was doing when a few nights after she said I don’t feel the same I’m sorry he opened up his front door for her. It’s not like he didn’t know what he was doing every time after that. So, maybe heal isn’t the right word, when one doesn’t have the right to be injured. Or when the injuries are, in a manner of speaking, self-inflicted. At the very least he could tell himself that this time around, meaningless sex was a choice he was making for himself. Spencer hates when things just happen to him. 

But you—you’re different. You were a complete surprise. At first, a cute and unexpected complication. After a few painful and short-lived attempts at real relationships, Spencer decided he was simply not to be trusted with emotional intimacy of any kind, including that which inevitably develops from physical intimacy, and would resign himself to a life of celibacy. He tried not to like you, but you were just so damn likable. Magnetic, to use a trite and perfectly honest turn of phrase. All that to say: he doesn’t regret you at all. There is no filter of putrid shame or anguish over his memories of last night. 

Just you. Perfect. Starlit. Glowing softly around the edges like you’re not even real. 

I love you I love you I love you. A hymn with no melody. You, always reminding him exactly why he is decidedly not a man of faith. At least, not in the typical sense of the word. 

How God became the idol and not Mary is lost on him. That’s why, Spencer supposes, tapping an eraser on his desk, marriage and sex were forbidden for so many ecclesiastics. After all, if they knew what it was to love a woman, specifically to love you, he doubts they’d feel like spending much time in the pulpit. Love. Humans had that long before they had any gods. It’s primeval. It’s the most natural manifestation of devotion and worship. It will always have come first. Isn’t it a better kind of religion when a man realizes he can kneel in front of a woman rather than an altar?

A heavy hand falling on his shoulder jolts him from his theological musings—which are in all practicality useless. What’s that saying about blasphemous thinking on the FBI’s dime? Right. There isn’t one. 

“I’m scared to ask,” Morgan says as Spencer jumps slightly in his chair. 

“What?” He mumbles, looking up from the document he’d only sort of been reading.

Morgan just looks at him, strong brows furrowed and a ditch between them, angles his head and glances to the side as if Spencer is missing the obvious. He almost follows Derek’s eye-line. When that doesn’t work, Derek just says your name. Like your status is somehow in question. 

“Did you two work things out, or not? It looked pretty bad when you guys were leaving last night.”

People often misunderstand an eidetic memory. It’s not like things can’t slip his mind—Spencer can actually be quite forgetful. It’s made worse by the fact that last night at the bar feels like months ago. For a moment, he has no idea what Derek is referring to. 

“Oh. Oh! Right, we—right. Yeah, we, uh—we worked it out.” Before Derek has a chance to read his face, no doubt as incriminating as his fumbled speech and an ill-timed throat clearing, he turns back to his paperwork. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her at the bar. I appreciate that.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and Spencer’s lips twist as he can feel the incoming inappropriate comment. 

“Is that the same suit you were wearing last night?” Morgan quips, his wide grin audible. Spencer can practically hear the cartoon gleam of his friend’s bleached teeth. 

“No.”

“You dog.” Derek is still smiling as he claps Spencer’s shoulder again. “What did you say to her that worked so well?”

Spencer clears his throat again and tries to look extremely involved in logging onto his computer, speaking quickly as if he’s beyond disinterested and can’t wait for the exchange to be over. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m actually trying to work so if you wouldn’t mind going back to your desk that would be great.” 

“Uh-huh. I’ll let you work. But I see you, pretty boy.”

Spencer tries not to blush like a teenager as he refuses to look up. 

Naturally the rest of the day is a slow descent into dread and madness as all those good feelings with which Spencer had started his morning begin to harden into something much worse, chilled by your lack of response to the text he sent you earlier. Which was essentially a rehashing of the note he left on your bedside table. 

Maybe it was too much. It should’ve been one or the other, but not both. He’s overwhelmed you. 

Okay, so maybe this is what religion is for. A last ditch effort when you can’t talk to your girlfriend so you have to try talking to God. 

But Spencer knows you, and he knows something is wrong. You wouldn’t just ice him out so blatantly if everything was okay. He catches himself glancing up toward Hotch’s window to see if the blinds are drawn, and considers faking an illness to get out of work early and go check on you. But he powers through the remaining hour and a half that he is obligated to stay at work, he bounces a pencil between his fingers, drums at his desk, and gets nothing else done. As soon as 4:59 rolls around, he’s out. 

Spencer can hear shuffling on the other side of your door as he stands in the hallway. A pot clatters. The walls hum with the rush of water through the pipes to your sink. He knocks, relieved that you’re okay and at the same time struggling with that weight on his chest—something cold that leans over his shoulders and whispers into his ear—so she just didn’t want to talk to you. 

Suddenly all sound from inside your unit ceases. For a few long seconds, Spencer’s confusion only grows exponentially. 

“Who is it?” You finally call, voice wavering. Also odd. Usually you just open the door. 

“Um… Spencer?”

“As in my boyfriend Spencer?”

He frowns, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly as he tries to decipher your sudden paranoia. “I hope so?”

The click and jingle of several locks precipitates your much-anticipated reveal. 

“Come in,” you say breathlessly, more harried than usual and not giving him the tender greeting he’s selfishly become accustomed to—barely even giving him a second to look at you. But he steps inside, watching on in concern as you do up every single lock—the one on the knob, the deadbolt, even the chain. Is this really all because of his little comment last night about anyone being able to get in? He certainly hopes not. He didn’t mean to terrify you. 

When you finally turn, he takes stock of your appearance. Big hoodie, pajama pants patterned in little hearts. Hair pulled back hastily. Your skin is sort of dull where you normally glow. But you’re beautiful, like always. It always aches just a little bit to look at you. Spencer’s always been like that. Going breathless at a particularly good piece of art or pretty girl. Like yourself. Mostly you. 

You quickly turn to hurry back into the kitchen. “I was trying to make dinner, I—”

“Hold on,” he interrupts, stopping you with a hand on your stomach that is so non-demanding it’s really mostly a suggestion. He tries to clear his head, though you make it hard. “You didn’t talk to me all day. Not that you have to, but… I was worried.”

You glance at the floor and mumble, “I lost my phone,” with so much embarrassment he believes you’re telling the truth. “Did you, um—did you text me?”

Insecurity. Spencer knows well what it looks like on you. He softens. You weren’t ignoring him—but you’d been left in a vulnerable state without any ability to contact him or anyone. That couldn’t have been comfortable. 

“Of course I did.” He pauses to observe you. Still anxious. Still prepared to run at any second. Something, and he’s not sure what, did a number on you today. Maybe it’s sheer exhaustion, maybe it was the anxiety of not having your phone. But he has to figure out what it is so he can undo it. “What? What’s wrong?”

He watches your breathing pause—watches your eyes gloss over with tears and a frown contort your features. Oh, god. He’s done something terribly wrong. It’s been thirty seconds and he’s done something wrong. 

“Can we sit down? I don’t feel very good.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we can. Whatever you need.”

You cast a baleful look at him and now he has to wonder what that means. Spencer sets his bag on a pulled out dining chair and follows you to the couch where you settle on opposite sides—you’re curled up in the far corner, hugging a pillow to your chest with your legs folded in front of you. Spencer’s heart is beating fast. He doesn’t know what’s going on with you and he can’t figure it out just by looking and you don’t seem eager to tell him. 

He’s exhausted all his typical ways of collecting information, and now he’s at a loss. 

Eventually, the anxiety comes bubbling up. 

“Please talk to me,” he pleads. And you do. Almost instantly, like he stepped on some sort of landmine. 

“I know it’s my own fault for not having my phone on me and not being able to see your texts, but it really sucks that I had to find out from my creepy neighbor that you snuck out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.”

The whiplash is so strong it’s almost a broken neck. Spencer reels, frowning deeply as he tries to process your impromptu speech, the sudden confrontation. What creepy neighbor?

“I… didn’t. I went to grab my stuff from the car around one, but I came right back. I left at 7:30. You don’t remember me saying goodbye?”

Your brow furrows, and your eyes dart over the design on the rug like you’re watching memories go by. He sees it in your eyes when you recall some hazy image of him holding your face, kissing your cheek more times than was necessary and whispering sweet things against your lips before he had to go. You shrink into the couch, clearly struggling under the combined weight of relief and embarrassment. 

“I forgot. I thought… he said…”

A moment passes and it’s clear you’ve abandoned the sentence. Spencer is concerned about this shadowy male figure who put malicious untruths into your head. He slides his hand under yours and twines your fingers together. Finally, finally you meet his gaze. 

“Someone made you believe I left without saying goodbye.”

And he almost wishes you weren’t looking at him as more tears pool before falling down your cheeks. You nod, and don’t make a sound. 

“No, honey. I didn’t do that. I’m sorry that’s what you’ve been thinking all day.”

“I was worried that you… or that I wasn’t…”

His chest aches. You’d woken up alone, no recollection of his goodbye, and without the comfort of even a text. 

“You didn’t see my note?”

The way you look at him then is heartbreaking. Eyes wide and wet and sad, lip trembling. 

“You left a note?”

Murphy’s Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. 

It must’ve fallen off the bedside table, or maybe he just hadn’t positioned it obviously enough. 

A lost phone, a missed note, and not even a memory of his departure. While none of these things are verifiably Spencer’s fault, he feels so, so guilty. 

“I did,” Spencer says gently, scooting closer and pulling you into him, head pressed to his shoulder as you try not to cry, and he rubs your back slowly. 

Your sulky words are muffled by his shirt. “I didn’t see it. What did it say?”

“A lot of very nice things about you,” he whispers. Spencer thought maybe he could get away with giving you all the sincere compliments you can’t accept face to face through a note you could read while he wasn’t around. That way you couldn’t refute them or stop him. It was a good plan. 

He feels the sigh of relief leaving your body against his neck. 

“I didn’t know.”

“I know. I’m sorry. That’s not… I should’ve just stayed. This is my fault.”

You keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder as you speak. 

“It’s not. You have a job. A really important job. You can’t just call out whenever I want you around.”

Logically he knows you’re right, but he doesn’t always think logically around you. 

“I could’ve made it work. I could’ve come in late, or the team could’ve called me if there was a case, which there wasn’t—”

“Spencer, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it.”

He pulls back slightly, frowning at your tone. You do look relieved, much less plagued than you’d been when he arrived minutes ago, but something heavy still weighs you down. The burden of it darkens your eyes and dulls your expression. When he cups your cheek, you glance up at him, and then away once more. 

He speaks softly. “Is that all you wanted to tell me?” 

Again he earns a moment of your eye contact, but it’s fleeting. He watches the words spin around your head as you try to figure out what to do with them—and then choose to remain silent. 

There is in fact something you’re keeping from him. 

Spencer hates to use work tactics on you, but he doesn’t speak either, hoping that you’ll feel compelled to fill the silence with the truth. Knowing how you’re not entirely comfortable with quiet. 

And you try, lips parting and the sound delayed as you wrestle with something you clearly don’t know how to talk about. 

“I… my neighbor,” you say, frowning like you don’t quite know why you’re speaking. “The one who told me he saw you leaving in the middle of the night. He also—he said…”

Spencer brushes hair away from your cheek with a thumb, stroking the high point in gentle passes as your words taper off. Now that he’s thinking about it, he did encounter a man in a dumpy robe standing in the courtyard and smoking a cigarette when he left you tangled in sheets and dozing contentedly to get his bag from the car. In fact, they rode back up to your floor in the elevator in mostly awkward silence. Spencer was sure his outfit told a story—shirt untucked and hastily buttoned only partway, no belt, shoes barely tied, duffel slung over his shoulder—he wasn’t really expecting to run into anyone at such an hour, to be honest, but he hadn’t particularly cared what this man thought of him, so it didn’t cross his mind again.

Now he remembers. 

Long night, huh? I remember those days. 

It was an inappropriate comment, but given his job he’s used to ignoring those. Mostly his mind had been preoccupied with the idea of returning to you, who gave him such a warm and sleepy welcome when he climbed carefully back into your arms several minutes later that it was like he’d never known anyone else at all. 

Now he resents that he hadn’t said anything, he hates the idea that you spoke to this man and he said something to upset you and Spencer wasn’t there. Usually he tries not a judge a book by its cover (metaphorically, of course) but he’s been around enough bad men to know when he’s looking at one. Last night he hadn’t even been cognizant enough to realize they got off on the same floor. 

“What did he say, angel?” Spencer whispers, incapable of being anything but soft with you at the moment. Even though he senses something a lot like a tide of preemptive anger rising in his chest, painted over with layers of anxiety and guilt. He should’ve found a way to stay with you this morning. 

You sniffle and let your head fall again, forehead resting against his collar. Instinctively his hand slides to the back of your neck and even at the awkward angle he finds a way to press his lips to yours hair. “Can we talk about it later? I don’t feel good.”

If it’s making you this uncomfortable, Spencer really wants to know what passed between you and this neighbor. In fact, he’d be willing to bet a lot of your strange behavior this evening stems from something that occurred which you don’t feel comfortable telling him yet. But he manages to bite back anymore questions. He doesn’t want to make you feel interrogated. 

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” he says eventually, kindly, hand tracing down the length of your back and up again. “Why don’t you feel good?”

He doesn’t miss the way you reach up to discreetly wipe your cheek. But he won’t make you talk about anything you don’t want to talk about until you’re ready, and it seems like you’re already having a rough day. Which is not what he wanted. This is so far from what he wanted for you. He’s cursing himself for how he handled this whole situation. 

“Um, I just… I don’t know. I feel… bad. I’m sorry I’m being so weird.”

“You’re not being weird, honey. You had a hard day. You’re having a normal reaction to an abnormal set of circumstances.”

You sit up, sniffing and wiping your tears like you can just make the whole thing go away. 

“No, I am. I am. It’s all okay now, right? So I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He watches helplessly. “Nothing is wrong with you. We’ve… it’s been a big couple of days. Mostly good, but I think you’re probably really tired. Emotionally and physically.” 

You bury your face in your hands and nod silently. He still feels like he’s shooting in the dark, but you’re not entirely comforted yet, and it’s killing him. 

“Whatever you’re feeling is okay. If this is… about last night, or this morning, or something entirely different—regardless of what it’s about, you’re not going to be… in trouble with me if you’re having complicated feelings. And you can talk to me. But it doesn’t have to be right now. We don’t have to figure it out all at once, okay?”

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, and for a moment, his words sink into silence. When you do raise your head, nodding, the evidence of your discomfort is all over your face—reddened eyes, cheeks polished with wiped tears. But you take a deep breath and try to project whatever it is you think he wants to see. 

The back of your hand is soft under his thumb as he sweeps it, as if he could draw forth more information that way. People speak when they’re ready.

“Is there anything I can do?” He tries, all ramped brow and soft spoken. 

You’re looking at where he’s tracing swirls on your hand as you swallow and blink the last of your tears away. 

“Um… you can say no, but—do you think it would be okay for you to maybe stay again tonight?”

Spencer sucks in a breath, painfully aware that he’s about to let you down. 

“I… I haven’t been home in a week. I’ve been wearing this suit for two days straight and I don’t think I would want to share a bed with me again until I shower.” He watches you wilt and lifts a hand to stroke your hair. “But I do want to spend time with you… do you maybe want to come stay with me instead? No pressure—”

“Okay. Yes. Is that okay?”

Spencer’s brow knits. You seem even more enthused about the idea of going to his apartment, like now that the opportunity has presented itself you can’t wait to get out. Maybe you have some sort of black mold problem. 

“Of course. Do you wanna grab a few things and then we can go?”

“Um—I also haven’t showered today. Do you mind waiting?”

“Sure. Or you could use mine. With supervision, this time.”

Spencer is attempting to make a joke about your unplanned (and unmoderated) stay at his apartment last week after he left—but looking at your face now he’s wondering if he touched a nerve. 

“Like… one at a time? Or…”

He thought maybe you’d be more comfortable around him after last night—and it’s not like he hadn’t seen you naked before then, either.

“Do you wanna��do it one at a time?” He asks gently. 

There’s this sparkly sort of longing in your eyes that he’s seen before, but you tamp it down like always. You’re so cautious. About everything. Even the things you’re curious about. It’s sweet and a little sad. 

“I’ve never… showered with anyone.”

The corner of Spencer’s mouth twitches as he pushes hair over your shoulder. “I know. You don’t have to. We could save like 100 gallons of water depending on how long your showers typically last, but—”

“Spencer—”

“Sorry, sorry—I didn’t—I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not trying to pressure you. You absolutely can take your own shower. You can go first so you get the hot water.”

“No,” you laugh, and it’s like a sparkling cloud of gold has settled around you, fractals bouncing off the shine of your cheeks and eyes—the sound of your laughter, the look of it, is such beautiful relief he can’t believe how good it feels, but it fades from you quickly. “It sounds… I think I want to, I just… I don’t wanna, like… do… anything.”

For a split second your veiled language mystifies him and then he realizes what you’re trying to say without saying. Something has changed since yesterday, when you brazenly referred to it as fucking, and today, when you can’t even say sex. He’s gotten as far as it being something your creepy neighbor said. Maybe. He needs to know what. 

But that’s not the topic at hand. 

“We don’t have to. I didn’t mean to imply that we would do anything like that. I don’t expect anything from you.”

You swallow. 

“Okay. I wasn’t sure.”

About what?

He says your name. No response. 

“Can you look at me, please?”

It takes you a moment, and your head raises like you might need some oil in your hinges, but eventually you manage. Spencer hopes the way he’s rubbing your leg is comforting. 

“You know I’m never, ever going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, right?”

To his horror, your answer isn’t an immediate and resounding yes. Instead you look back down and cover his hand with your own, fiddling nervously with his fingers. 

Eventually, you reply, “Yeah… I know. I just thought… I’m not sure. Maybe it’s supposed to be different now.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Nothing has to be different. We’re still doing everything on your schedule, okay? And as for the next few days, at least—I think it might be a good idea to take sex off the table altogether.”

Your eyes narrow and you hesitate. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want you worrying about it. And I don’t think it would feel good for you right now. I think there are things we need to talk about, but… we’ve probably tried enough for a while, hm?”

You give him a shy nod and hum your agreement. For a moment he lets his hand linger on your leg and then pulls it back. 

“Okay. Do you want my help packing a bag, or should I wait out here?”

“You can wait. It should only take a minute.” You pause, halfway up to look pensive. “Um, Spencer—do you think it would be okay if maybe I… if I stayed tonight and tomorrow? I just—I wanna get out of here, for a bit.”

He frowns but doesn’t hesitate. “Of course. Can I ask why?”

“It’s just…��suffocating sometimes,” you call as you turn and hurry down the hallway to the bedroom. “Feels like my neighbors are on top of me, like they’re… breathing down my neck, half the time.”

Sure, bigger apartments exist—but it’s not like you’re in a studio. And you’ve never mentioned feeling that way before. That bad feeling is starting to come back—like you’re not telling him something he needs to know. But is it worse to let you deal with it yourself until you’re ready to talk or to force it from you?

A few minutes later you return, a duffel of your own over your shoulder and full to bursting. 

“So I’m an idiot. My phone was literally in the pocket of my jeans on the floor.” You drop the bag as you bend down by the door to pull on your favorite slippers. “Oh—I think I forgot my charger, can you grab it? It’s by my bed.”

Spencer of course obliges, and is secretly pleased to be in your room again, in the light this time, so he can see better. It’s sweet. The pictures on the walls, the plants and the knickknacks and the sticky notes scrawled with messy reminders on every surface and the sweater hanging over the back of a chair—the one you’d been wearing at the cafe all those months ago—it all feels so you. He wonders why the two of you don’t spend more time here. 

He lets himself linger for only a minute before remembering his task, but as he reaches down to unplug your charger, whatever dopey smile he’d been wearing evaporates. The sheets have been stripped from your bed, and he can see why—there’s a striking stain of dried blood, and several surrounding dots, soaked into the mattress. Not much, but enough to make him feel horrendously guilty. He cringes, imagining what it must’ve been like to wake up all alone to nothing but your own blood. Poor girl. Of course he’d noticed some, last night when he was doing his best at cleaning you up, but it had been dark, and he was exhausted, and he hadn’t done enough. 

“Where’d your sheets go, baby?” He asks once back by the front door with his own bag on his shoulder, setting a gentle hand on your lower back and holding out your charger for you. You jump slightly, and he makes circles on your back, wishing there was something he could do to settle you. 

“Oh! They—they got ruined. I threw them out. It’s fine. I have others.”

So you didn’t have enough energy this morning to walk a few feet to your shower, but stripping your bed, getting dressed, and walking down to the trash chute at the end of the hall had been top of your priority list. 

You swallow as he undoes the locks and holds the door open for you, and pretend like you’re not doing surveillance to either side as you stand in the hallway, locking your door again like you can’t get out of here fast enough. 

Spencer casts a sidelong glance at you and wonders if you’re intentionally avoiding eye contact. He tries not to think like a profiler. He tries not to assign meaning to your actions, but he can’t help it. He can’t not notice. 

He can’t not worry. 

And he can’t not wonder what you’re not telling him. 

-

part nine

[luvhcarly]

YOU KNOW HOW TO BEG.

Every summer since you were born, you and your parents go to your friend’s house to a small town near the beach. Sunghoon which is their son, is your best friend since you can remember. You both know everything about each other. Every secret, every fear, everything. You were inseparable. But this summer is different…

PAIRINGS: dom!Sunghoon x fem reader

GENRE: smut, childhood bestfriends to lovers

TAGS: 18+, smut, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t!), swearing, teasing, fingering, angst, rough sex?, jealousy, pet names (good girl, baby…), edging a little, Sunghoon is mean to reader, insults, arguing, they are over 18+!!, lmk if I missed anything, not proof read

WC: 9K

A/N: Hii! :) Summer is coming and I am kind of getting obsessed with this kind of trope like during summer if u know what I mean hahah. Requests are opened.

!reminder English is not my first language!

July was the month you looked forward to all year. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, but what you loved most was that you could finally see him. Every year since you were born, you went with your parents to their friend's house, who had a son named Sunghoon. You and him, since you were little, were like an inseparable pair. Your laughter could be heard throughout the house, you told each other every single thing that happened. Every single secret, every single fear, every single crush. Everything. But you had a feeling that this summer would be different.

You were sitting in the car, your head leaning against the window and your eyes watching the surroundings. You had your headphones in your ears and were enjoying the summer song ‘Xo (only if you say yes’. When you saw the familiar houses and streets, a smile came to your face. It reminded you of how you and Sunghoon used to cycle through these streets since you were little.

The car stopped in front of a familiar house that held so many memories. Immediately, you took off your headphones and opened the car door without hesitation. The familiar smell of summer, cherries and the sea, which you loved so much, hit your nose. For a moment you closed your eyes and took a long deep breath.

Your father muttered something under his breath, but you overheard and opened your eyes, immediately scanning the terrace. And there he stood. Leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pockets, his figure taller than you remembered, his white T-shirt loose as usual. But something was different. His posture was closed. No emotion. His expression almost unreadable. The worst part was that he didn't even move. He just stood there, unsmiling. Without any reaction.

"You look like you grew another foot, Sasquatch." You let out a teasing laugh, but he ignored it. You expected something like "Still shorter than your ego," or "You look like a drowned cat in that travel hair." But nothing came out of him. He didn't even laugh, nothing.

"Hey." That was all Sunghoon let out, no emotion, no enthusiasm in his eyes. You were taken aback by his reaction and furrowed your eyebrows.

"That’s it? Just ‘hey’? After eleven months?" Sunghoon looked away from you, as if he didn’t even want to look at you. As if he was forced to stay here. You didn’t understand why he was acting so strange. So measured. Every summer, when you came, he would wait for you with a big smile on his face, his arms wide open, waiting for a hug. Now…? Now you felt like a burden to him.

“Didn’t know we were counting.” A small laugh escaped your lips, unsure.

“Well, I was.” Slowly, you walked over to him. Your chest felt tight, like maybe anxiety? Or something else? But you tried to act normal. “Anyway, I brought snacks this time. The good ones. You still inhale those sour candies, right?” You added, pointing to the back where your luggage was, a smile playing on your face.

"Not really into them anymore." Sunghoon didn't even look at you, while you expected him to laugh and say he was kidding. That he was just playing with you, but nothing came out of him.

Suddenly, his mother appeared from behind him, her usual sweet, friendly smile on her face.

“Oh, sweetheart! Look at you! Taller every year.” Immediately, she pulled you into a warm hug and you returned it. His mother, who was also like your second mother, had always been very kind and friendly to you. She tried to understand you as much as she could. She pulled away from the warm hug and really ran her eyes over you again.

“And more beautiful every year!” She added, placing her hands on both of your shoulders, while you just laughed at her sweet words. “Right, Hoon?” She turned her head to her son, who was staring at his phone this time, uninterested.

“Hoon?” His mother spoke again and he looked up, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“What?” She sighed at his rude reaction and rolled her eyes, her gaze shifting back to you.

“Boys…” She joked and you pursed your lips and cleared your throat. You had never felt so embarrassed as you did now… Sunghoon’s mom took her hands off your shoulders and gave you a warm smile again, while you kept your attention on him. Something about it didn’t sit right with you. His detachment was terrible. You didn’t understand what had changed between you. And you wanted to figure it out as soon as possible.

So when you put your things from your luggage in the closet, you looked around the room. A small sigh escaped your lips and your eyes noticed the small polaroid photos from last summer hanging on the mirror. With slow steps, you walked to the mirror and one photo, where you both lay on some field full of yellow flowers, with a smile on your faces, you took it in your hand and smiled softly at it. You didn't understand Sunghoon's behavior, why was he so cold towards you…

“Y/n, honey!” Your mother's soft voice came from behind the door and she opened the door, you quickly put the photo back in its original place and without hesitation you turned around, your eyebrows raised.

“Yes?”

“Dinner is ready. Come on.” She announced to you and you nodded at her words and nervously ran a hand through your hair. You took a deep breath and tried to convince yourself that maybe he just wasn't in the mood, that maybe it just seemed to you that he was so distant towards you. But the opposite was true.

You didn't say a word to each other the whole evening during dinner. His gaze was still fixed on his phone, trying to ignore your presence. But you suppressed the bad thoughts and tried to join the conversation between him and your parents, hoping that the bad feeling that was squeezing your chest would stop. Sunghoon barely touched his food, he ran his fingers over the screen of his phone, his expression neutral, which was unusual. Sunghoon was always the one who joked during dinner, had funny sarcastic remarks towards you, but now it was different.

He didn't even look at you out of the corner of his eye, he didn't want to look at you. He tried to ignore you as much as he could. And he was doing well until his mother spoke to him.

“Hoon, put the phone away and talk to y/n. I am sure that you have a lot of things that you want to say to each other.” It was the first time he had looked at you during the dinner, giving you a cold look. His eyes scanned you, as if searching for something in you, but then he suddenly stood up from his chair and put his phone in his pocket.

“I’m tired.” Sunghoon let out in a cold, deep, annoyed voice. Everyone watched as he walked to his room, leaving surprised looks behind him…

“I’m sorry about him. He is just acting weird lately.” His mother's voice came out, sad and disappointed. Your mother just waved her hand at her words and said that it was okay and that he was probably just not feeling well. And you hoped she was right.

After dinner, you helped put away the dirty plates and then went to your room. The Park’s house was huge, that's why you had your own room, which was small and cozy, it had everything you needed. Tired, you lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling of the room. His strange behavior kept running through your mind. You were inseparable, best friends… You must have been lying like that for an hour, thinking about what you had done wrong.

You took your phone in your hand and started scrolling through Instagram, watching stories of your friends having fun at some party. You laughed at a funny video that your friend shared. Then you slid to your contacts and started to scroll through them, when his name caught your eye, you stopped.

Active.

You got up from the bed and quietly crept out of your room. You directed your steps towards his room and when you appeared in front of his door, you hesitated. But then you knocked softly three times and his deep voice spoke with the words “come in.” You gripped the doorknob tightly in your hand at first, you still hesitated but then you opened the door and saw him sitting on the bed, his hands resting on his knees, his phone still in his hand, his hair messy and he had an expression on his face that you couldn’t read.

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d come bug you like I always do.” He looked up from the phone at you, but then he shifted his gaze back to the phone. You cleared your throat and walked slowly towards him, as if you weren’t sure if you could do it.

“It’s late.” He spoke in a deep tone of voice and you sat down next to him, a little embarrassed at your appearance.

"Since when do you care about sleep? You used to stay up with me till sunrise bingeing the dumbest movies." He didn't answer. He remained silent and continued to swipe his finger across the screen of his phone, uninterested.

"Okay, seriously. What’s going on with you?" This time he finally put down his phone, but he still didn't look at you. His voice was cool. Controlled. Like he was completely sure of what he was saying.

"Nothing's going on. I'm just not in the mood to talk." His words stopped you and you knew he was lying. Sunghoon had never lied and he certainly wouldn't lie to you. So why now?

"You've been 'not in the mood' since I got here. You've barely said two full sentences to me. Is this how it's gonna be now?" You threw your hands up nervously and he shook his head at you, his eyes still fixed straight ahead.

"You're overthinking."

"Don't do that. Don't make me feel crazy for noticing the shift." You cut him off immediately, he could hear in your voice that you were quite sad and hurt by what he was saying.

Sunghoon took a deep breath through his nose, scratching the back of his neck, while you watched his every little move, looking for something - anything - anything similar.

"I missed you, you know. I was counting down the days to this trip. Like I always do. I thought… we’d pick up where we left off." Your voice was quieter than usual this time and he finally turned his eyes to you, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, but his expression still uninterested.

"Maybe that’s the problem, y/n.” Your heart stopped at that moment. His words were quiet, but loud at the same time.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" He shrugged, as if he didn’t even know what he meant by that.

"Maybe we’re not the same anymore. Maybe it’s not supposed to be like before." You had a puzzled look on your face, watching him speak with complete calm. You remained silent, not knowing what to say to him. The anger in you rose a little, you were angry. Downright pissed off at him for throwing your long-standing friendship in the trash like that.

"So you just…” You stopped, searching for the right words. “decided that on your own? Without even giving me a chance?" You threw your hands in the air angrily, while he rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw tightly.

"I’m tired, okay? Can we just drop it?” A tired sigh escaped his lips, he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with it tonight. Actually, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it at all. And that made you angrier.

"No. We can’t just drop it. You’re pushing me away and acting like you don’t care about throwing our friendship away just like that.” You stood up from the bed angrier than before, but he just stared at you, at first without saying a word. But then he let out something that felt like a slap.

“Maybe I don’t.” Loudly, you swallowed, surprised, staring at him, as if you weren’t sure if you heard him correctly. For a moment, you stared at him without saying a word. Your eyes were starting to get a little glassy, ​​but you refused to cry. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room between you, but then you broke it.

“So now what, Sunghoon?” As you said his name, his gaze lifted to you. “we just... stop talking? After everything?” You crossed your arms over your chest as he watched you, watching the anger rise in you and the sadness as well.

“It’s easier this way.” You didn’t understand his words. Why was he saying that? Why was he acting like he didn’t care about your friendship?

"For who? Because it sure as hell isn’t easier for me” Bitterly you laughed, to make him feel that what he was saying was stupid and wrong of him. That he was hurting you. But Sunghoon didn’t even need to hear you, because he knew how your heart was breaking into a million pieces. That you felt like he had stuck a knife into it, and slowly and cruelly twisted it. He remained silent. And that was what you hated. Silence. And he knew it. The intensity between you was tight, suffocating, and took every breath away from you.

“You used to tell me everything. I knew what you were thinking before you even said it…” There was sadness in your voice, it was shaky, like you wanted to break down and cry, but you didn’t. “Now you look at me like I’m a stranger.” Finally, he got up from his bed and walked over to you, but there was still enough distance between you, his voice rough and cold.

"Maybe you are." At that moment, everything around you stopped. Your heart shattered, and for a moment you felt like you were literally choking.

“Wow.” You said in a low voice and put your hands in a defensive gesture, taking a step back as if his words had physically pushed you away.

"Okay. I get it. You don’t want to talk, you don’t want me here. Message received." When you turned around and were ready to leave, your hand resting on the doorknob, firmly, his words stopped you.

"I never asked you to come." He told you with a reluctance in his voice, as if he was telling you to get out right now and that he never wanted to see you again. You froze at his words. Your heart was pounding, despite the fact that you felt broken, hurt and taken aback by his unpleasant words. Then, you slowly turned around, your eyes more and more glassy and that was when he realized that he had crossed a line.

"You didn’t have to. I came because I always do. But maybe this is the last time."

And with those words you left, closing the door firmly behind you, not caring that you would wake yours or his parents. And he… and he just stood there frozen as if he was only just now starting to realize how horrible his words towards you were. Sunghoon didn't mean to say it as nasty as it sounded. He wanted to stay away from you, but he didn't realize that by doing so he was destroying everything you had built between each other over the years. He tried to protect your friendship at all costs, but he didn't realize that by doing so he was destroying it. He had completely destroyed it and there was no going back.

-

The next day you didn’t speak at all, nor did you look at each other. You just walked around, without saying a word, ignoring each other’s presence. You, you sat on a chair, looking at yourself in the mirror, wondering if you were should go to the bonfire. You and Sunghoon always went to the bonfire together, you spent every single year wrapped in a blanket, sitting by the fire with his friends. Well, now… you didn’t know if you were coming, since you broke off contact and ignored each other the whole day.

You took a deep breath and nervously ran your hand through your hair. At that moment, your mom appeared from behind the door, a sweet smile on her face, but her eyebrows slightly raised, curious.

“Are you not coming to the bonfire with Sunghoon, honey?” She stepped into your room and you made eye contact with her through the mirror.

“I’m not in the mood…” She saw in you that you were sad about something, hurt. And she also saw how you and Sunghoon were acting, you weren’t laughing at the whole house, you weren’t sneaking up to the roof like usual to look at the stars together.

“Is everything okay between you and Sunghoon?” Her voice was soft and careful, she was afraid that she was interfering where she didn’t belong. You turned to her and let out a deep sigh, but then you smiled, pretending that nothing was happening and that everything was fine between you.

“Yes, everything is fine.” Even though she wasn't sure what you were saying, she nodded because she didn't want to dig into it any further. So she placed her hand on your head and caressed you, her touch gentle and loving as always.

“Okay, but I think you should go. Have some fun a little? You always loved bonfires and that was the most thing you were looking forward to.” At her words you nodded and smiled, it was true. You always loved bonfires, the pleasant atmosphere, the roaring sea and its salty smell. Why would you let someone like Sunghoon ruin your favorite event? And so you went, listening your mother’s words without hesitation.

The fire crackled in the center of the circle, sending sparks spiraling into the sky. Everyone’s gathered — drinks in hand, voices blending in laughter and stories. The air smelled like smoke, salt, and summer. The night felt alive. You sat near the fire, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, a red cup of water in your hand.

Then Jay, one of Sunghoon’s longtime friends, made his way over, holding two marshmallows on sticks, offering you one with a crooked grin.

“You still burn them black on purpose, or have your roasting skills improved?” He joked and you laughed at his words, your eyes shining with surprise.

“Jay? I didn’t even see you earlier!” With a laugh you replied.

"You’ve been ignoring me, obviously."He said teasingly and winked at you, sitting down next to you and you graciously accepted the marshmallow stick from him.

"Please. If anyone’s been ignoring anyone, it’s your best friend over there." You nodded at Sunghoon, who was sitting not far from the two of you, a red cup held to his lips, sipping. Half-involved in another conversation but his eyes were watching. Always watching. He clenched his jaw tightly when he heard his name, even though you didn’t say it directly. His fingers tightened around the cup.

“Yeah, he’s been in a mood lately. Can’t figure him out.” Jay spoke up, agreeing with you. Sunghoon was acting strange around him too, which Jae didn’t quite understand. He was measured and colder.

“Join the club.” You pressed your lips together and then you laughed together. Jay smacked your shoulder playfully a little and you did the same. Nothing more intense. No flirting between you. Just two people enjoying each other's presence, friendly. But for Sunghoon it was something more. Even though he didn't admit it, his look said it all.

He couldn't stop staring at how you always slightly leaned closer to Jay when he said something and how your lips always curved into a small smile and then into a gentle and sincere laugh. The way Jay smiled at you and observed every single detail of you and the way your knees gently touched.

"Still remember the summer you beat all of us at Mario Kart and wouldn’t let it go for weeks?" Jay reminded you of the summer two years ago, when everything was still fine and Sunghoon didn't see you as a stranger.

"Obviously. That was the peak of my existence." You laughed at that and he did the same, tilting his head back a little but then looking at you with a big smile.

"You peaking at seventeen is so tragic." He joked and you rolled your eyes at him, but then you burst out laughing.

"Says the guy who got destroyed with a blue shell and threw the controller." Your laughter was loud, which made Sunghoon turn away. You teased each other more and he didn't like that. He didn't like that you were sharing something you once shared with him. His fingers wrapped around the cup more tightly, then just like that he threw the cup away and stood up. Annoyed, he stormed over to you both, you both looked up at him, not understanding.

"Didn’t realize we were all here to relive middle school memories." He let out and the circle around the fire quieted down a bit.

"Didn’t realize you were paying attention at all." You replied coolly, while Jay looked from you to him. He saw the intensity and anger between you, so he stood up and put his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Okay, I’m just gonna… roast my marshmallow now." He spoke and Sunghoon glared at him.

“Yeah, you should.” He said in a low voice and Jay sat down on the other side of the circle and you shook your head and put the marshmallow stick aside, your eyes burning with disgust and anger. But his eyes burning with jealousy, guilt.

You couldn't take it anymore, the anger, so you stood up and directed your steps towards the beach, which was nearby. Your feet sinking into the warm sand, leaving a pleasant feeling. The laughter and music blur in the distance. You just wanted to breathe — to get away from his eyes, his voice, the way he still gets under your skin with nothing but a sentence. You wrapped the blanket you had wrapped around your shoulders tighter and stopped by the seashore, watching the waves. Your nose was immediately hit by a familiar scent that you had always loved. This was exactly what you needed.

Then suddenly you heard footsteps and you didn’t even have to turn around because you knew it was him.

“Of course you had to follow me.” You muttered with an annoyed laugh and he just walked closer to you without a word, his steps heavy but quiet at the same time. “What? You’re not done embarrassing me in front of everyone yet?” You quickly turned around and he looked at you in surprise, but then just stared blankly again.

“You didn’t seem embarrassed.” He shrugged at that and you furrowed your eyebrows at it.

“Oh, screw you!” You shook your head and looked away but then you looked back at him, his lips in a thin line, his eyes dark as if there was nothing in them.

"You’ve been treating me like crap since I got here. Ignoring me, pushing me away, pretending like I don’t even exist — and then suddenly, the second someone else talks to me, you act like I’ve committed some crime?" Your tone of voice was raised and the anger in you was rising again and he was aware of it. He put his hands in his pockets, uninterested, but he answered you anyway.

"Didn’t realize a marshmallow was that intimate." Teasingly he joked and you threw the blanket you had wrapped around your shoulders at him.

“God, you are such an asshole!” You yelled at him and he just looked at you, his attitude calm, too calm.

"Maybe I just got tired of pretending we’re still who we used to be." He shrugged uninterestedly and you sighed furiously.

“I don’t get it. You used to tell me everything. And now? Now you won’t even look me in the eye unless you’re making some stupid comment to piss me off." Your voice was shaky again, but you were still angry. Sunghoon looked away from you as if he couldn’t even look you in the eye.

“And I’m standing here, trying to understand why the person I’ve known my whole life suddenly acts like I’m a stranger. And you just… act like it doesn’t even bother you.” Again, your eyes were glassy, ​​your chest clenched with that unpleasant feeling like before.

“Maybe you should stop fucking trying. It’s annoying.” He let out a measured, cold sigh and looked at you. He could see from your expression that he had hurt you even more than before.

“Wow…” You took a step back. “If you want to pretend we never meant anything to each other — fine. I hope it keeps you warm at night.” And with those words, you walked away, leaving him alone again. And then his form broke for a moment, but then he put the mask back on and sighed. He watched your figure slowly disappear from his sight. And he, just staring, trying to come to terms with the fact that it was really all over now…

A week had passed since you last talked on the beach. You continued to ignore each other's presence and others, not just your mom, had started to notice it. You were all sitting in the garden together, grilling, laughing at silly things and other things. After a long time, you felt relaxed, sitting on a chair, a glass of lemonade in your hand. Sunghoon was sitting right across from you, his attention focused on his phone and nothing else around interested him.

“Your mom mentioned that you are leaving earlier than them?” Suddenly his mother asked and your smile slipped, and he looked up for a moment but then redirected his gaze back to the phone, but he still listened attentively.

“Yeah, I have some stuff that I want to finish before the school starts again.” You said, pulling your legs closer to your chest and taking a sip of your lemonade, which you then placed on the table.

“Oh, really? Or is there some boy in it?” She leaned closer to you, curiosity in her eyes, and as you were about to answer, Sunghoon surprised you with his sharp words.

“Nah I don’t think so. She’s got options, though. Trust me. Guys lining up to feed her marshmallows." The whole table laughed at his words, not knowing if he was serious or just joking. But you didn't find it funny.

"What's your problem?" You asked him in an angry voice. This was the first time in a week that you had looked at him properly again.

"Just trying to participate. You're the one who hates when I stay quiet, remember?" He teased with mockery in his eyes and voice.

"Better than saying something stupid." Your parents noticed how your mutual nagging sounded different than before. It was more intense and more like a snarl. And they weren't wrong.

"Guess you'll have to pick your poison." He shrugged at that.

"Kids-" his mother said, but you both ignored her.

"Can you just stop acting like a jerk for five minutes?" You furrowed your eyebrows and snapped at him, your voice raised and everyone could feel the immense anger coming from you.

"Can you stop acting like a bitch and sticking your nose into things that don’t concern you?” His eyes narrowed, as if he was watching you, watching you react to his words. Everyone remained silent, surprised by the whole situation. You, you shook your head at that and quickly stood up, staring at him.

“I’m done. Thanks for the dinner. It was lovely.” With those words you left, leaving everyone surprised and saddened at the same time by what had just happened before their eyes. Sunghoon stayed seated, clearing his throat to at least lighten the air a little but didn’t say anything. He just watched you walk away, holding tightly to the glass of water that would probably shatter in his hand if he squeezed it even tighter.

A cold breeze enveloped your body and you immediately grabbed yourself by your shoulders and hugged yourself, hoping to warm up. The sand on your feet was cold, but that was the least of what was bothering you right now. Your gaze was fixed on the sea again and you were enjoying the last moment you were here. In two days you are leaving back home, and you will probably never come back here. And you will forget everything that was. All those memories, the friendship you have built over the years. That hurt you the most. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment, trying to enjoy the moment of silence and the smell of the salty sea.

"You’re really leaving?" His voice surprised you and you flinched at it. But you didn’t look at him, even though you felt his intense gaze.

"Why do you care?" Coldly you asked him and he swallowed loudly.

"Because I didn’t think you would." Bitterly you laughed at his words and turned to him, your arms crossed over your chest. Sunghoon had an expression on his face that you couldn’t read. Did he look disappointed? No, you were probably just imagining it.

“Well, I got tired of being somewhere I clearly don’t belong.” He stayed silent. He didn’t even know what to say, because anything he said would be inappropriate and wouldn’t fix it, but he tried anyway.

“I’m sorry. About dinner. I shouldn’t have said that.” He scratched the back of his neck and bit his bottom lip, nervously. Finally, you could feel a different energy coming from him… which felt strange.

“You’ve been saying a lot of things you shouldn’t lately.” You took a deep breath and broke eye contact with him, your attention shifting back to the sea in front of you and he did the same. You both just stared, speechless, Sunghoon deep in thought. But then a thought hit his head.

"If you’re really leaving…” Softly he started speaking, as if he was afraid of your reaction. “We should swim in the sea. One last time. Just like we used to.” When he mentioned the last time you were here a year ago, you swallowed loudly, turning to him, surprised. Sunghoon chuckled at your reaction.

“What?” He slowly touched the fabric of his shirt and took it off, while you remained frozen. A smirk playing on his features, as if it wasn’t even a matter of importance that he was undressing in front of you. Your eyes were immediately struck by his chest and his tones abs, which you swallowed loudly at.

“Come on.” He pointed his head at the sea and you blinked, hesitating.

“You think some swimming in the sea like we used to will fix anything?” He paused at your words, but then let out a long sigh.

“No, but maybe we could try to remember how we used to be… before everything” You could hear the sincerity in his voice. It was strange. He had been cold towards you since you arrived, and now? Now he was trying to make up for it….

“I don’t have a swimsuit.”

"Me neither." He shrugged and slowly started unzipping his jeans with his fingers, and your eyes immediately slipped in there and you widened in surprise.

"Are you fucking serious?!" You said with a slightly panicked tone and he flinched. He found it funny how you acted like you'd never done this before, that you hadn't swam in the sea. Even though you were wearing swimsuits then, it wouldn't be any different now except that you'd be naked. But it's dark, who cares? He won't be able to see anything.

"Dead serious." Before his jeans and boxers could completely fall off the sand, you quickly turned around and closed your eyes, a blush immediately rising to your cheeks. He ran into the water without a word, laughing.

"Oh my god! You're actually crazy." You laughed and immediately the hot water touching his skin made him sigh. You moved your hand away from your eyes a little and looked at him out of the corner of your eye. Once. The first time and the third time you put your hand completely down and looked at him, still hesitating. You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath and slowly started to take off your shirt. Sunghoon didn't even have to be told to turn around because he did it automatically.

When you took off your shirt, your body was immediately embraced by the evening breeze and a chill ran down your spine. Sunghoon, even though his back was turned to you, watched you slowly undress out of the corner of his eye, leading his thoughts where they shouldn't be. But he immediately suppressed them.

You put your pants aside and hugged your body and slowly started walking into the water. The water was cold at first, but then it became warm and pleasant. When you were fully in the water, Sunghoon turned towards you completely and you both looked at each other without a word. For a small moment, you both felt like a year ago, where you were here together. When you almost kissed and that summer, there was something more between you. Something more intense, more romantic than ever before.

Sunghoon disappeared under the water for a moment, his hair completely soaked and he ran his hand through it. Drops of water slowly ran down his cheek and there was still silence between you, but you interrupted him.

"Why did you throw everything away? Our friendship.” After a moment of silence, you asked him, while he just watched you. He watched as the moon fell on your shoulders, which were sticking out of the water. “Why are you acting like nothing happened? Like we didn’t almost kiss last summer? Like that didn’t mean anything to you?” Sunghoon was most afraid of this question. Exactly at this point, you almost kissed… When you were already expecting silence to remain, he spoke.

“It meant everything to me.” He said quietly, as if he was only talking to himself. But you heard him quite clearly, and you blinked at him. “I thought about it every damn day after…” He admitted and paused for a moment, took a deep breath and then continued. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted to call… But I panicked. I didn’t know what to do with it.” His words surprised you, but you still didn't understand why he had pushed you away so suddenly. "With you—with how you made me feel." Even though his words were as honest as ever, you still felt hurt. Broken into a million pieces.

“So you just… cut me off?” You spoke with a shaky voice and Sunghoon saw the drops running down your cheeks, not knowing if they were tears or just drops of water.

“I was scared. That I’d ruin it. That if I told you I wanted more, you’d look at me differently. And then I’d lose the only person who ever really knew me.” Sunghoon finally said everything that had been bothering him all year. He expected you to yell at him, to hit him, to cry, whatever. But he didn’t expect you to just stare at him silently, without a word. What he said couldn’t fix what he had broken, he knew that himself.

There was silence and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the sea and your intense beating of each other’s hearts. You couldn’t handle it. You slowly got ready to leave, ignoring that he would see you, you didn’t care. But you didn’t expect him to grab your wrist and pull you back into the water.

“Wait—wait.” He let out a panicked sigh and you shifted your eyes from your hand to his face. He had a broken and frightened expression on his face.

“Don’t go.” He swallowed loudly, fear in his voice. “Please…” His heart was beating at an incredible pace and his breathing was heavier than usual. “I’m sorry. For everything. For messing this up.” Even though he knew that one stupid apology wouldn’t be enough, he tried, hoping you’d give him another chance.

“I don’t want you to leave thinking I didn’t care. I never stopped caring.” Your breath hitched at his words and his grip on your wrist tightened, as if he was afraid that if he loosened even a little, you would leave.

“Then why did you make me feel like I was nothing to you?” Your voice was soft but heavy, full of mixed emotions.

“Because you were everything. And I didn’t know how to hold on to that without breaking it.” He whispered, searching your eyes for anything that would tell him that you wouldn’t leave. That you would give him a chance to make it all right. That you still saw him the same way you did before. The waves of the sea touched your bodies and you shifted your gaze to your hand where he was still holding you tightly.

“You don’t get to say stuff like that after pushing me away. After making me feel like I imagined everything.” You raised your eyes and looked into his, his eyes were sad, full of longing and begging for your forgiveness and for a kinder hope.

“You didn’t imagine it.” He admitted and swallowed loudly and you bit your bottom lip, nervously.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it either. That night… the almost kiss. I tried to forget it. Tried to convince myself it didn’t mean anything.” To keep from collapsing, you stopped and took a deep breath and then continued. “But it did. It still does.”

Sunghoon stared silently, not knowing if he had really heard correctly. His grip still firm, his heart beating intensely. He slowly lowered his hand and swallowed loudly, thinking. While you, you stared at him without a word, waiting for him to say or do something.

“Then why are we still standing here like this?” His words surprised you and without further hesitation you closed the distance between you and pressed your lips to his. The kiss was soft, full of unanswered questions. You pulled away for a moment, but this time he pressed his lips first, his hand immediately slid to your waist pulling you closer and your arms wrapping around his neck.

He deepened the kiss, his other hand gently cupping your cheek. The ocean waves lapped softly against your skin, but all you could focus on was the warmth of his body pressed against yours. He pulled you closer, and you could feel his heartbeat racing in sync with yours. Sunghoon couldn’t believe it that he is holding you like this, kissing you.

A small sigh escaped from your lips and for a brief moment you pulled away, looking deeply into his eyes. But then he in an instant pulled you back, kissing you harder.

"Don't run away," he whispered against your lips, one hand tangling in your wet hair. The moon above cast a gentle glow on his face, making his features even more beautiful. He kissed you again, more passionately this time, his strong arms securing you against him.

“I’m not-“ You mumbled into the kiss which made him smile softly against your lips, cutting off your words with another tender kiss. His hands began to explore your body more freely, tracing the curves of your back and hips. The ocean water swirled around you both, adding a sensual rhythm to the moment. He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours.

“Do you… do you want me to stop?” Carefully he asked, as if he wasn't sure if that was okay.

“No.” But your words reassured him and he pressed his lips to yours again. Sunghoon's hands slide down to your hips, pulling you even closer until there's no space between your bodies. He kisses you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth with a hunger he's never felt before. The ocean waves crash softly against your naked bodies.

His hands move from your hips to grip your backside, lifting you up and carrying you to the shore, carefully he put you down on the sand, his mouth never leaving yours. Your fingers slowly made their way to his hair as He positions himself between your legs, his muscular body hovering over you as he continues to completely devour your mouth. The moonlight casts a silvery glow on your intertwined bodies, highlighting every curve and muscle.

Sunghoon pulled away from you, both of you gasping for air. His eye admired every part of your body. "You're so beautiful." Fuck, you really were. The moonlight casts highlighted every part of your body. Your body was like a heaven to him. A small blush appeared on your cheeks, as his voice was soft and gentle.

When he leaned to kiss you again, you felt his hard cock press slightly against your naked thigh, making you let out a little gasp. Your body was trembling beneath him from it and he could feel it so he grinded against your thigh again, intentionally this time, wanting to feel your reaction again. One hand trails down your side, tracing your hip bone while the other supports his weight.

"Is this okay?" There was worry heard in his voice, like he was making sure that every move he made was okay with you, that he wasn’t going too fast on you.

“Yes.” A soft groan escapes Sunghoon's lips at your response, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He leans down to capture your mouth in a searing kiss again, his tongue dancing with yours. His hand on your hip slides down between your legs. Your mouth fell wide open when his fingers gently started to explore your folds, testing your readiness.

"So soft," he murmured against your lips, his fingers slowly circling your clit, making you let out a sigh of pleasure. The wetness between your legs increasing by it and it only served to fuel his desire. He broke the kiss to look at you, his eyes dark with lust.

“I want to make you feel good.”

“P-please.” With a pleading eyes you said, begging him to do something about it. Your begging face made him groan.

"Fuck, your sounds..." He murmured, applying more pressure as he continued to circle your sensitive bud. His cock throbbing against your thigh, desperate to be inside you, but he's determined to make sure you're properly prepared. Slowly, he slided one finger inside, testing how tight you are, your eyes widening at the feeling.

Fuck, how he loved how you responded to his touch. He stared into your eyes, watching your reactions as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you.

"So tight," he groaned, adding a second finger to stretch you out. Immediately a loud moan escaping from our lips, his thumb continuing to circle your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to make your hips buck against his hand.

“Sunghoon~” The sound of his name on your lips nearly breaks his control. Again, he kisses you deeply, swallowing your moans as his fingers continued their steady pace. "You're doing so well, baby," His voice was soft but as he whispered it against your lips, his thumb increasing pressure on your clit. "I want to make you come." At his praising words, you hid your face in the crook of his neck, as the pleasure was too much.

“Mhm-“ A muffled sound came out of you as you wrapped your hand around his neck, bucking your hips more forward to his hand. He chuckled softly, his fingers curling upwards to hit that spot inside you that made you see stars.

"Look at me," he demanded gently, his thumb rubbing faster, making you gasp. He nuzzled your face back into his neck, trying to get you to look up at him. You obeyed to his words and you pulled away from his neck, locking eyes with him. Sunghoon felt your body trembling, your eyes were more and more watery from the pleasure. And fuck… how he loved seeing that.

"You're so close, aren't you?" He asked, his fingers pausing inside you to torment you further.

“W-why did you stop?” When he stopped you in an instant blurted out, trying to catch your breath, his fingers still inside but not moving at all.

"Because I want to watch you fall apart," Seductively, he whispered, his fingers starting to move again - slower this time - drawing out your pleasure. His thumb circled your clit again, knowing exactly how to touch you to drive you wild.

"Let go, baby. Let me see you come." Sunghoon leaned closer to your ear, whispering as he kept pounding his fingers into you, enjoying how you responded to him.

“F-fuck-“ As the pleasure was too much for you, you squeezed your eyes, throwing your head back a little. In an instant he buried his face in your neck, his fingers moving faster and harder as he felt your body tensing.

"That's it, come for me," he encouraged, his own breathing growing ragged. Your mouth opened in an ‘O’ as you felt your climax reaching. He wanted to watch you, but he was too focused on giving you the release you need.

Deeply, he groaned, feeling your walls clenching around his fingers as you came undone, making you moan loudly. Your moans like a music to his ears. He slowed down his movements, gently riding out your orgasm until your body stopped trembling. He pulled his fingers out slowly, bringing them to his mouth to suck off your wetness.

"Fucking beautiful.” Without breaking eye contact with you, he said, watching how your cheeks were flushed red, your breathing heavy. Your eyes slowly slid down to his red cock, pre-cum leaking from it, asking to be inside of you. Sunghoon noticed your hungry stare and without hesitation he grabbed you by your hips, roughly.

“Fuck, flip over.” At his words, you switched your gaze to him, surprised.

“W-what?”

"On your stomach," he repeated, his voice lowering as he gets more impatient. He wanted to be behind you, to wrap his arms around you and pull you onto him. When you saw how he was getting more impatient, you flipped over, supporting your body with your hands.

"Good girl," Left from his lips as he watched how you obeyed to him without a second thought. He lifted your hips up so you're on your knees. "Look at you," He murmured as he pressed his hard cock against your bare ass, making your mouth fall open. Sunghoon noticed how your body tensed when he pressed his cock against your ass. To tease you even more, he took his cock into his hand and gave it a few pumps before teasing your entrance with his tip, making you let out a little cry at the feeling. He chuckled darkly, teasing your entrance with his tip but not pushing in.

"You're so wet and ready for me," He whispered, his hands gripping your hips tightly. He pulled back slightly before pushing forward again, just enough to spread your wetness around but not entering you fully yet.

“Hoon… fuck- please don’t- don’t tease me.” You were struggling with your words and he enjoyed it, and he groaned at your plead, his grip on your hips tightening.

"Fuck, you know how to beg," He said, finally pushing just the tip inside you. He pulls back out slowly, teasing you again. "Is this what you want?" His voice strained with desire.

“Yes! Please Hoon, I- please fuck me with your cock. I-I swear I’ll be-“

"Shut up," Without mercy he slammed his entire length inside you in one go. He stayed there for a moment, letting you get used to his size before pulling back and thrusting forward even harder. "You’re gonna shut that pretty mouth of yours and just take my dick, alright?" A loud whimper came out of you as he leaned down, pressing his chest against you back, whispering into your ear. “Alright, y/n?”

At his question you nodded your head and you squeezed your eyes shut as he began to move, making you open your mouth into a little ‘O’ again. He groaned in satisfaction, seeing your reaction.

"Fuck, look at you taking my cock so well," He praised, his hips moving faster and harder, one hand gripping your hip while the other reaches around to rub your clit in sync with his thrusts.

“Mh- H-Hoon~”

"Fuck, you're so fucking hot when you say my name," The fingers over your clit moving faster as he continued to pound into you from behind. "I’m gonna fuck this pretty little pussy until you’re screaming my name," he threatened, his voice low and rough.

“P-please I’m gonna-“ Again, you started to feel the familiar pleasure, and he felt it too.

"That's it, keep making those fucking noises," Sunghoon encouraged, his fingers pressing firmly against your clit as he continues to fuck you hard and fast. "You’re gonna come all over my dick, aren’t you? You’re gonna squeeze me so tight when you come." His dirty talk was like heaven, you couldn’t even think properly so you just nodded at his words, his cock hitting every right spot inside you.

"Come on then, I wanna feel you come apart on my dick," he urged, his hips moving erratically as he chased his own release. "I’m close, fuck I'm so close," You moaned as he groaned into your ear, his fingers moving in tight circles over your clit.

With every deep thrust you felt your body trembling, feeling like you would collapse from the pleasure.

"Fuck, can you feel that?" His hips were slapping against your ass with each thrust. "I’m hitting that spot deep inside you, aren’t I? The one that makes you see stars?" He leaned down to whisper in your ear, his breath hot and ragged.

“Mhm-“ Even though you tried to say a proper word, nothing came out. Only moans, which were like music to his ears.

"That's it, take it," He growled feeling your pussy clamp down around him as you got closer to your orgasm. "Fuck, just like that." Gently, he bit down on your shoulder, marking you as his, his cock driving into you relentlessly, hitting the right spot. Suddenly your walls tighten around his veiny cock and you came, making a mess on his cock as he wanted. Oh, and he loved every bit of it. But still he kept thrusting into you, trying to case his own high, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back onto him even harder.

"Not done yet," You cried as he kept his ruthless pace, not stopping at all, his hips jerking erratically as he got closer.

“Sunghoon, I-I can’t-“

"Shut up and take it," Sunghoon snapped, his control completely gone as he fucked you through your sensitivity. His fingers dig into your hips harshly, holding you in place as he slammed into you over and over. And with one final thrust, he came, filling up your pussy, his hips jerking slightly with each wave of his release. "Jesus," He muttered, pulling back slightly then pushing back in again slowly, like he can't get enough. Even though your pussy was hurting from his ruthless pace, you moaned as he still kept buried inside you for a while.

"Goddamn, that was intense," Fnally stilling his hips as he catches his breath. He leaned forward, pressing soft kisses along your shoulder blade while still buried deep inside you. His hands gently caressed your sides, a stark contrast to how roughly he just held you.

You were out of breath, your body hurting because of how rough he was, but you enjoyed it. Then he slowly pulls out of you, sudden emptiness rushing over you and slowly you flipped back into your back, trying to catch your breath. Sunghoon laid his body down next to yours, your fingers slightly brushing against each other.

After a few moments of just lying there, Sunghoon turned his head to look at you. His eyes soft and warm, a stark contrast to the intense, almost angry way he looked at you during sex. He reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, making you smile. You weren’t expecting him to fuck you so good after you just found out why he shut you down. But honestly, you didn’t care. You were happy, you felt loved and that’s what mattered.

Sunghoon leaned in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before resting his head back down. For a few moments, he just stared at you, taking in your peaceful face and the slight flush to your cheeks.

“What do we tell our parents?” You broke the silence between you two. He let out a small chuckle, brushing his fingers through your hair gently.

"I don’t know yet, but probably best not to mention the fact that I just fucked you senseless…”

[satoruhour]

i need geto to grab my chin, stroke my cheek with his thumb, then spit in my mouth. maintaining eye contact the whole time? ugh. he’d de say “good girl”

ST☆RGIRL

a/n: yuuuum anon u guys r giving me the best ideas. also combining this with the geto in the brother’s bsf universe bc a lot of u have been asking for pt. 2, altho asking for a part two is pretty annoying. but i wanted to do a second one anyway lol. i made our brother gay btw + read the first part here / tagging @omgeto @papersirens @crysugu @getousex @slttygeto @kazushawty @peachsayshi

wc: 3.7k

warnings: secret relationship(?), soft dom!geto, reader is not a virgin but it’s her first time with geto, you almost get caught but it’s mild, dry humping / grinding, nipple play, spitting (in your mouth), praise, clit stimulation, oral / cunnilingus, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut

sneaking around your brother wasn’t exactly easy, given how they were almost always together by the day — if you didn’t know better, you’d think they were dating instead. the only time you had geto to yourself was in the middle of the week when your brother had gone back to pack more things and to visit his boyfriend, a sure time that you’d show up beaming and excited in front of their double dorm room while geto only gives you a lazy smile, tugging you into the room immediately.

sometimes it was the other way when your roommate went home for the weekend, geto knocking on your door in a wife beater and sweats, a small grin and reddened cheeks from running over; the prospect of hanging out with you always gets him speeding over.

his room was for wednesdays, yours for the weekend. a sweet little arrangement for the both of you.

now, geto suguru was the best boyfriend. he made sure you were always okay with his touches, his kisses. he had a silent way of caring, covering the top of your head when you reached down to pick up something under the table, refilling the trusty mug of water you brought around in the small dorm of yours, tidying up your table for the immense studying you’d be doing. it was the little things that you never noticed before you got addicted to him, but now it’s all you can think about when you gush about him to your friends.

and well, maybe, how good he was at teasing you.

no doubt suguru has had experience with other people before from how he always has you wanting more after a simple kiss, lips separating from yours to shoot you a quick smile and a gesture of manoeuvring you onto his lap. his touches are never-ending, rough, large hands spanning the beauty of your body as he names off feature after feature he’s noticed mature since you’ve both grown into adults. he makes the idea of wearing clothes abolutely offensive, grinding up into your centre and watching you fall apart, only to stop when he feels your hands tighten around his shirt.

geto knows you’re not ready, not when you’re doing some pulling away of your own as his hands creep towards your chest, fingers closing around his wrist before he can reach the buttons of your pants. all you can give him is a flustered smile, stuttering out an excuse with frantic hands. he just lets you — swallowing your apologies and tugs you into his embrace and talks about the newest tattoo he got instead — “we can just kiss and grind, baby. you tell me when you want to stop, okay?”

although you never do, makeout sessions always end with your hair in all places, your panties soaked and your lips swollen, not a single line crossed on geto’s side every time. it was an endearing trait of his; he never rushed you, never pressured you into “helping” him out, rather excusing himself to the bathroom quietly.

a smile spreads across your face when your phone lights up, the little profile picture of a sleeping suguru taking centre stage of your phone.

[11:43am, suguru (the bsf and now my BOYF???)]: hey baby, he just left. u wanna come over?

geto doesn’t even need to ask, because you’re already picking up your pre-packed bag and bid goodbye to your roommate who’s deep in her assignment, not noticing you’re gone until she’s shooting you a text after, asking you if you wanted anything for dinner. eating at the boyfriend’s place, no worries! thanks for asking :)

you’ve reached the other block in record time, amongst other many impressive timings, but while you’ve pressed the lift button and trying to catch your breath, the wind is knocked out of you again when the lift doors part and out comes your brother. you’ve never been so quick to come over before, avoiding situations just like this, but your sibling isn’t phased, simply shooting you a greeting.

“hanging with suguru?”

your breath is shaky when you exhale and you hope he doesn’t notice. “yea— yeah!”

his smile is unassuming, a hand outstretched and you barely make his high-five before he bids you goodbye with too loud of a goodbye, keeping up the clueless act until you’re stopping right in front of their door. your boyfriend doesn’t give you time to breathe, either, door swinging open to your dishevelled state and his chuckle would’ve almost buckled your knees if not for the adrenaline running through you.

“i just saw my brother in the elevator — are you insane?”

geto feigns a pout, “not even a kiss for the boyfriend?”

you roll your eyes with a smile and grab the neckline of his t-shirt, but what he says (“well, you’re the one who came running over, sweetheart.”) prompts you to grunt, shoving him away before you collapse face first into the sheets. they smell like you, you notice, but they’re mostly filled with geto’s natural scent, a calming combination of cinnamon and bergamot. there’s goosebumps on the back of your thighs — suguru runs his hand over it and up to your waist, flipping you onto your side and he coos at your annoyed face, settling into the bed with you.

“okay, no more teasing, hm?” he asks softly and you ignore the jump into your heart. you ignore how his tattoo covered arms are so gentle next to you, how his rougher finger tips brush your hair away like bees on a flower; almost ghost-like, so light, so soft, but you can’t. against your will, you huff, taking his hand silently and holding it, a small frown still present on your face and geto feels bad, now. he leans forward, taking your lips gently and you hate the way how pliantly you obey, sighing as you feel geto move against you.

your hand clutches at the pendant geto bought, a habit you’ve developed every time you feel overwhelmed. it was ironic, too, how the many times you’ve thumbed it was because of geto, and not so much of stressful exams or a weird guy at a party, but that thought’s out the window when geto pulls you onto him, moaning into your mouth when your thighs close in around him.

“you’re okay today, princess?” geto asks against your lips, and there’s no doubt lust swirling in the honey eyes of his — they’re the brightest always in the morning.

“i wanna—” you swallow, “try,” you sit up more comfortably, ignoring the tug in your core, “i don’t want to keep you waiting.”

geto’s brows furrow, “what? no— baby, you’re not making me ‘wait’, if anything i should be the one waiting for you.”

your hands are tense on his chest, he notices, bringing one to his lips before he places a kiss on your palm.

“you shouldn’t be compromising on your comfort to please me, my love,” geto mumbles into your hand, starting to kiss each finger individually until you’re closing your hand around his cheek.

“you’re so pretty,” you mutter softly and you’re jumping in celebrating in your heart when you can feel his skin heat up because your words affect him as much as it did you. you’re leaping for joy because how did you land such a caring lover that would put all your needs first? who’d tell you that you come first in everything—

geto suguru makes this so difficult always, but you’re already firm in your resolution, giving him a solid yes before a small smile spreads across his face, making the act of pulling you down by that same hand. you’re inches away, mind spiralling with how many positions he could put you in but—

there’s a jiggle of the knob on the door and you’re suddenly recoiling.

“are you expecting anyone?”

your boyfriend quickly shakes his head, but he brings you off his lap gently, setting you a safe distance from him. he arranges your hair in place and patting down the wrinkles on your shirt as the other person struggles to open the door and as always, he’s worrying about you, first — until that familiar, booming voice of your brother cuts through the tension and your disappointment is unmatched.

“hey guys!”

geto wanted to roll his eyes, as with you, but your oblivious brother doesn’t take much note of why your chests were heaving and your skin is sweaty, rather setting down his bags full of dirty laundry and the cute anniversary present he was ranting to you about — it felt like your work was undone, reversed, and you’re back to feeling intimidated, no doubt the presence of your brother making you feel like you were doing something sinful.

“so! wait, why do you look so—”

“oh, it’s nothin’, she’s just nervous for her upcoming exam,” geto answers almost immediately, removing the attention from you; it wasn’t entirely false, you realise, giving him a secret smile. “you were saying?”

“oh! yes, so, turns out…”

it’s nearing to the fifteen minute mark where your brother still continues to talk, rambling on about how his boyfriend’s moving date had been moved forward insread, so it was halfway throughout his journey that he got a text saying how it might be too chaotic for them to hang out — boxers, movers, the family dog barking at every stranger.

that heart-twisting, anticipating feeling had subsided by then, and while it was never a dull moment with the two of them, you left that dorm room feeling a little dissatisfied.

“i’m sorry, baby,” geto whispers to you later as your brother takes the chance to pee. he’d volunteer to send you back but the both of you didn’t want to risk anything more.

“next week?” geto asks, a hand to your cheek, “but of course, if you don’t feel it next week either that’s f—”

you give him a small grin, fingers covering his own shaking ones in comfort, “next week.” his lips barely leave your forehead in a peck before the toilet flushes and the door opens; geto teases your brother about not washing his hands and the two bicker just like years ago: hands flying everywhere and your giggles cutting through every insult they hurl at each other.

you can hear geto’s chuckle when you show up the next week, looking like you just ran a marathon again. this time you have no trouble avoiding your brother by hiding behind the wall beside the lift, though you hardly have any time for your boyfriend’s teasing laughter.

closing the door with your feet, you’re walking geto back into the room and his eyebrows raise at your determined face.

“are you sure you’re okay—”

without warning you’re clashing your lips into his, hands on his pecs and mewling softly when his arms naturally wrap around your middle.

“more than—” there’s a dramatic sigh when you feel hands caress your back, “okay.”

you’re just too enamoured with geto to carry on with your once self-assured actions, because you’re always like putty whenever you’re in his embrace. it happens without fail every time.

“you make me feel so,” swallowing, your eyes break contact and your head collides with his broad chest, “insane. you drive me crazy.”

you don’t miss how he winces a little, but soon he’s bringing your head off of him, biting his lip at your cute pouting face, possibly not knowing how even more obsessed he was with you.

a simple text from you has got his palms sweaty, and he goes through at least three drafted messages first before sending something, afraid he’d push over your boundaries or do something you won’t like. geto loves your smile, seeing your cheeks reach your eyes until there’s no more from a joke he made because you were talking about the cute little tattoo his little sister made him get. there wasn’t an end to suguru’s love for you; to see you, to feel you be so flustered and sheepish because of him drives him crazy — did you see the effect you had on him?

you simultaneously ruined and changed the definition of love for him; he’d never have anyone else.

you’re taken aback when geto tugs off his shirt and sitting right in the centre of his sternum is a woodcut tattoo of a halved sun, looking entirely contrasting with the traditional dragon that runs over his body and other ink-heavy pieces littered across his body. this was like a collection of ever-flowing lines that seem to bleed despite the bold lines that signify the end of the sun, it was you. your fingers trace over the tattoo under the protective film, your gasp prominent when there’s a small “to my sun” below it, paired with your initials — ambiguous enough if you were to break up, but geto hoped that would never be the case.

“got this for you last week,” suguru takes your wandering hand into his, words and actions gentle while he kisses the back of your hand, he laughs into your skin, “hurt like crap, i’m not gonna lie.”

“sugu—” your eyebrows are downturned just like your smile, “this is so pretty.” you’re in awe that he’d get something permanent for you, no doubt with such a cheesy line under the beautiful drawing.

“you’re so pretty.” geto smiles when you smile with a roll of your eyes, and you let him bring you into another kiss, softer this time as you let him lead, pulling you to his lap easily.

anyone who looked at the two of you could see the instant difference: geto with his inked arms and room oozing with posters and the gruff nature of him, and you with your bashfulness and sweet smiles and while geto is bound to be noticed first, he would rather sit in the shadows as your moon as he lets you charm everyone you come across. you’re just like that.

geto treats your body like glass, removing your top off of you gently as his hands span your torso and he sighs when he sees you aren’t wearing a bra. “look at you…” and you’re giggling, drawing a smile from the other. slowly he looks to you for reassurance and you nod, prompting him to wrap a careful mouth around your nipple. your boyfriend moans when he feels you jerk at the contact, tongue swirling around your mound as he plays with the other and that’s all it takes for your fingers to tense around his shoulder.

“f— fuck, sweetheart,” you hear him groan into your chest, moving to other nipple and suckling on it, eyes closed in bliss while your head falls back, “you’re so perfect, my love.”

“am i, now?” you mumble breathlessly, “you should look at who’s talking.”

geto nods, coming off of your tits with a pop! and the grin he gives you is shit-eating, “yeah, so goddamn perfect.”

you’re impatient now, especially when you’re in full perception, body on display just for your lover to see, and your hips move slowly whilst your skin feels like liquid fire.

“need you, suguru,” it’s a soft whine that comes out of you, and geto moans at your neediness and the rock of your pelvis because he can practically feel your cunt clench around nothing and your clit throbbing, and while you’re both no stranger to this, the idea of going further than whatever you’re used to makes geto dizzy.

“yeah— i know, baby,” you’re on your back after, gulping when you’re finally left with nothing on your body, shorts and panties taken off and the glory of your body is like oxygen to him, “i need you too.”

gently, suguru pries your legs apart and he’s hooked on your wetness, the beauty of your labia and hole, leaking so much slick his breath is shaky when he exhales. the first contact with your clit is feather-like, and it’s all he does before he leaps in and eats like a starved man. the sensations are too much that your thighs are pulled taut, feeling the flat of his tongue draw a line up your pussy.

geto slurps at your arousal, putting pressure in his mouth and sucks like his life depended on it and your sounds are music to his ears. he groans when he feels your hands pull at his hair, tugging away or towards your pussy even he didn’t know but he relishes in how he’s able to make you feel like this.

“su— suguru, s-shit! your mouth’s—” you can basically hear the smile in between the messy eating of your boyfriend, emerging from your plush thighs for a moment to show you just how soaked the bottom of his face was.

“it’s what?”

you tsk at his teasing and you shove him back, ignoring the way his chuckles send chills up your body through your core, but geto is merciful, humming and moving his face against your cunt. his tongue is relentless as well, making you so pliant with just one muscle as he flicks it against your puffy clit. it’s when your entrance starts to clench around air is when he thinks you’re going to cum.

and he stops — your whines are so cute to him.

“what’s your deal, suguru?” your frown’s adorable too, but he makes it up to you with a sweet kiss and lets you taste yourself.

“want you to cum around my cock, baby. you can do that, can’t you?”

yes, geto felt like he wanted to combust. yes, geto felt like he needed a thousand and one photos to capture how angelic you looked right, but with how he’s talking right now, you only can look up at him with excitement despite not knowing the torture you were putting him through.

and so when he first nudges his tip past your hole, that facade drops entirely, eyes fluttering close at the tightness of your cunt and the spread of your pussy lips upon his dick. you were by no means a virgin, although you disclosed that it was a shitty first time when you first lost it, but the way you feel around his cock, closing in around him you both have had to take breaths together.

“so tight…” geto’s close to bottoming out, memorising how he made you fall apart so easily: your hands clutching tightly on his wrists, making your tits pop out more, the flutter of your pussy, your cute lil mouth stretching into a delicious ‘o’. “and so pretty, just like that.”

you hum at the praise and once he’s buried, your little pants become more frequent, leaving puffs of air on his cheek.

“move?”

“are you seriously asking me that right n— oh shit…”

geto unsheathes and slams into you, and he can feel the drag of your walls along his length. a small laugh leaves him, “just takin’ care of m’pretty girl.”

he’s only had your dripping pussy once and yet he already can’t get enough of it, starting to move his hips as he impales you on his cock. it’s the only thing your mind can focus on, feeling so full and filled with him that it hazes your brain and hypnotises you almost.

“su— ohmy g-god!”

geto’s hands tighten around your thighs at that and the thrusts get sloppy so fast, rutting into you with no end goal in mind other than to feel your tight hole around his length. your lover’s eyes fall to the way his cock slips into you and you take it so well — there’s no other pussy he’d want to feel around him, truly — you take the ram of his hips so good and the gushing of your cunt is answer enough for him.

your hands grab for him, fingers fumbling with his forearms to bring him to your lips. the kiss is filled with drool, tongues slamming into each other as his hips stutter and jolt at the clamp of your pussy, and when he pulls away there’s a string of saliva connecting your lips to his.

you’ve talked about it before and it’s like he reads your mind before anything even begins; his hand grabs at your chin, so lovingly and different from how disgustingly rough he was slamming into you. his thumb goes over your supple skin, and he doesn’t need much to pry your mouth open but—

“open.” and your tongue comes out like second nature and you try not to show your excitement when geto gathers saliva, spitting the ball of liquid straight into your mouth. it hits your tongue hot. his honey eyes are darker now as he watches how obediently you swallow — he swears he can see hearts in your eyes.

“good girl.” geto smiles again, propping your legs up against your chest now in a mating press and you whine in surprise. the position gives him access to the deepest parts of you, and one hand sneakily rubs at your clit in time with his faltering thrusts and you’re cumming with a cry of his name.

“suguru— yes, yes! f-fuck— right there, baby,” you’re sobbing, seeing splotches of white in your vision as your high seem to overtake your senses. it hits you in all the right spots, giving geto his little gift of cumming around him and multiplying it tenfold by how your cum seeps into the sheets. it’s so much that all he can hear is the lewd squelch of your cunt and one more moan is enough for geto to groan into your neck.

“going to give you my cum, darling,” your “yes’” resonate in his ear and it spurs him on to finally cum, shooting his load deep into your womb and filling you with so much hotness. it’s too much but you love it and geto hisses at how your juices and his semen seem to seep out, “that’s a good fuckin’ girl.”

there’s a sly little grin when he lets down your legs gently and you’ve grasped at your pendant so hard it’s detached, and he quells all your doubts with a single kiss and the sun on his chest.

“i’ll just get you a new one, baby. you deserve that much.”

why did i write sm....

[redbullgirly]

HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

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user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

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tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

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lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

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oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

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tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

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lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, gigihadid, susie_wolff, riabish and 2,452,906 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

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yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

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THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[keyotos]

i am absolutely in love with ur writing AND with gepard landau,, can i request a first kiss fic for him? i read your kiss the girl fic for dan heng and ITS SO GOOD!! tysm in advance, take care of yourself!

teenage dream

summary ⎯ gepard knows he can't keep these feelings to himself. gepard also knows that he can never tell you about how he feels. so, he goes to the person he tells all his secrets to: serval. serval, who told pela. pela, who is determined to set you two up. and doing so, entails a bookish adventure for you to enjoy.

tana's words ⎯ i too am in love with gepard. i feel u anon. also thank u for the kind words!

tags ⎯ matchmaking (serval and pela). first kiss. pining (this should be expected). bookish!reader. bookstore owner!reader. oblivious idiots.

IT’S EXTREMELY SURPRISING TO HEAR GEPARD frantically knocking on the doors of nevermore workshop, so serval obviously had to open the doors for him.

when he entered, gepard immediately shut the doors as if he was being followed. the expression on his face was dire; he looked as if he was chased by wolves and he was being hunted down.

“gepard?” serval asked, concern dripping in her tone, “what the hell happened?”

“serval,” gepard panted. serval was getting worried; this was all irregular behavior coming from gepard, “i need help.”

gepard never asked for help. he is one of the most self-sufficient and stubborn people serval knows. he would rather stare death in the face instead of asking someone for help.

“what is it?” serval rushed by his side, “whatever you need, i got you.”

“i think i have feelings for,” gepard sighed, palm dragging across his face, “the owner of the bookstore,” he finishes quietly.

serval’s jaw dropped. it wasn’t because of the declaration of gepard’s crush. it was that he made it sound so dramatic. serval thought that he was being tracked down and was about to be sent to the madhouse.

“are you serious!” serval shoved gepard, “i thought you were about to die or something!”

gepard recoiled at serval’s shove; his sister was stronger than most people thought, “it feels like i am! every time i’m around them my heart rate quickens so much that i think i’m about to have a heart attack. i get all nervous on the inside and i can barely think with them beside me.”

aeons, gepard has definitely fallen in love with you.

“wait⎯so, where are you gonna go from here?” serval leaned on the counter, trying to process all the words her brother confessed.

“that’s the thing,” gepard sighed again. he sounded like a lovesick puppy, “i don’t know. that’s why i came here, i thought you’d be able to help.”

“um. you are aware of my past relationship with cocolia, right? i think i’m like the least qualified person you should be asking romance advice from,” serval pointed out.

“i don’t know who else i could tell,” gepard ran a hand through his hair. this was really stressing him out.

“how about you just… tell them?” serval suggested.

“no!!” gepard shook his head distraughtly, “i can’t do that. what if they don’t feel the same?”

“then it’s not meant to be,” serval said, “simple as that.”

“but it’s not,” gepard whined. serval thought he was making this a lot more complicated than it needed to be. when she was his age, she confessed her feelings to cocolia like it was nothing. they were happy until the break up anyway.

but then it donned on serval. gepard had little to no relationship experience. the only “experience” serval remembers him having was when they were children: his friend had a crush on him and tried to confessed, but gepard rejected her.

that’s why gepard was so distressed. he had no idea how to go on with this. these feelings for you? all new. what he missed out as a teenager, he is now getting as an adult.

“tell you what,” serval wrapped her arm around her brother’s shoulder, “i’ll get this sorted out. trust me. yn will never know about this,” she reassured him.

“you just go along with your guardly duties. i’ll help you,” serval grinned. she knew that she had the perfect plan. except, she couldn’t do it alone.

pela already knew about your crush on the silvermane guard captain. every time he greeted the two of you at the book store, pela practically saw the hearts in your eyes. it was sickening and disgusting, but it was cute too.

what pela didn’t know, however, was that gepard has a crush on you as well.

serval came to pela just a few minutes after gepard’s confession. she knew that she probably shouldn’t have told pela right after the conversation happened, but serval didn’t know how else to console gepard.

“so… you’re telling me that they both like each other?!” serval slammed her hands on the counter. “and they’re both too scared to confess!?”

“that’s exactly what i said, yes,” pela monotonously replied.

you knew that there couldn’t be anything between you and gepard. it was highly improbable that you, a bookstore owner, would be able to gain the captain of the silvermane guard’s interest. it seemed like something straight out of a fictional (key word: fictional) romance novel.

so you appreciated his friendship while he was around. sometimes, as a way to become closer to the captain, you’d suggest different books to him every week. despite being on the front lines quite often, he always comes back to see you. well, he comes back for the books anyway.

serval groaned into her hands, “so what do we do? they both like each other but they literally can’t bear to admit it.”

pela smirked. she’s read enough romance novels to figure out what to do next.

“two words, serval,” pela smirked, “grand. gesture.”

gepard took a few deep breaths before approaching your book store. after his chat with serval, he's been distressed the entire day. he had these feelings for you storming all over his body; occasionally, they'd get so strong that it would feel like those feelings would overtake him.

he opened the door, book in hand, and greeted you formally. gepard couldn't help it: he was so nervous, he wasn't able to function straight.

"hello, captain gepard," you turned around. you were on a latter stacking books on top of bookshelves. originally, you thought it would be cool to have towering shelves, however you quickly learned that it was extremely impractical and difficult.

"i told you," gepard stood near the counter, refusing to slouch in your presence, "you can call me gepard."

"and i told you," you grunted, trying to reach a higher spot on a shelf, "to drop the formalities," you grinned to yourself.

gepard noticed your (potentially) perilous situation and quickly got near the end of the latter. in the case that you fall, at least gepard would be there to catch you.

fortunately, you made your way down the tall latter peacefully. as you descended, the sight of gepard holding down the latter for you made you flush. it was the bare minimum, but it still made your heart speed up.

when he reached out his hand to guide you down (it was out of instinct), you gave him a warm smile. it looked easy on the outside, but you were burning up on the inside. similarly, gepard had the same reaction. for you, he'd do anything.

"thank you," you held onto his hand for a little longer. once you realized what you were doing you quickly recoiled your hand away and apologized. gepard wished your hand was still entwined with his; he wanted to hold onto to the feeling of your hand in his. gepard wanted to trace patterns on your hands, wanted to feel every part of them.

as an attempt to dissipate the tension (it was making you nervous), you decided to ask gepard for help. "we had a busy day yesterday. a best seller recently came out; people were storming the shelves. good for my profit but not good for my sanity," you let out an airy laugh, "would you mind helping me clean up?"

realizing what you just did (asking the captain of the silvermane guards for help) you quickly added, "unless you're busy! then i'll be okay. you can leave. i'll be fine," you rambled.

gepard parted his lips, almost as if he was about to say something. how could you ever think he wouldn't make time for you? even so, he'd deploy a few other guards if you needed help. he'd make sure your needs were met as soon as possible.

he reached his arm out; his hands were close to your collarbone. then he reached back, scared of what would happen next. how silly. the captain of the silvermane guards was not scared of no monster, but of rejection of the one he likes.

"i'll stay for anything," gepard blurted. you were taken aback for a second, but then once you realized what he had just said, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and covertly pinched yourself to make sure that whatever was happening was not a dream.

gepard didn't intend to add, "anything," to his sentence. but his mind was thinking it, and then it just accidentally came out. he meant what he said though. if the bluntness of his voice didn't show his sincerity, the blush that was slowly grazing his face probably did.

"thank you, gepard," you bit the inside of your lip to keep yourself from beaming too hard. you had to turn away from the captain once again, for your smile at his words would be too embarrassing to show. how silly of you to act so giddy and childish at one simple word.

gepard thinks he could hear you say his name a million times, and he would never get bored. he wants to hear his name on your lips as if it were a mantra; you've said his name a few times before, and each time he swears he gets more and more addicted to the sound.

"how about i start on the right and you'll start on the left. that way, we'll both finish in the middle!" you clapped your hands together. you gave gepard a reassuring smile.

you two started on opposite sides, but how gepard wished that you two would be closer. however, there are positives to this situation. gepard can brainstorm ideas for the "grand gesture" pela and serval texted him about.

gepard already had ideas in mind. he just needed to figure out the material for them. he obviously will not tear out papers from a book; that will cause more harm than good (for you and gepard; he cares about books).

while gepard was planning, you were blushing. you still couldn't believe he actually stayed with you. surely, there are more important deeds than helping out a leisurely bookstore owner. and this was the most boring task ever: organizing books. yet, gepard was still here. and he was only a few feet away from you.

you turned back to observe gepard; you wanted to see if you had trapped him in a boring task or not. to your surprise, gepard seemed to be enjoying this. he would flip through pages of various books, spend time reading the summaries; gepard would even go as far to reading the first few pages of some books.

gepard liked to read. at first, he started coming to the bookstore to fetch some books for pela. however, after he met you, he began to adopt a newfound interest in books that he never had before. he read some of pela's books, discovered that he did not like them, and went to browse for more. that's when you came up. you thought you had talked his entire ear off that entire morning; you went on and on and on about what kind of books he would like.

you tried to ignore him afterwards; you even offered the books for free because you were so embarrassed. but gepard kept coming back. your recommendations impressed him: gepard had never met anyone who was so meticulous at their craft. and he loved hearing you talk. he loved your rambles, your rants, your reviews. maybe that was the first sign.

gepard caught your gaze as he turned around. he had the same motivation as you: he wanted to see how you were faring in this task. did you miss the proximity you had before? are you flustered as well? do you like him too?

you two were both staring at each other, thoughts racing, until you shouted, "see something you like?" to break the tension.

gepard thought the question was a taunt at first; similar to asking, "like what you see?"

"no!" he abruptly shouted, trying to hide the fact that he was just staring at you. and then he realized the real meaning of your question: he was browsing the books with such intensity. the truth was, he was trying to find your favorite books. you've informed him about them before, always on your bookish rants. he was going to use them for his gesture later on.

thinking that he now looks like an idiot, gepard tries to save himself by shouting back, "i mean⎯ yes! i do. these books are nice," he tried to cover up.

you seemed not to register his mistake, as you tell him, "whatever you want, it's on the house. for your work today. it'll be on the house for life!" you put some books on some shelves and move closer to the middle.

gepard shook his head and chuckled, "you've always given books to me for free." he put some books back and continued around the room.

"are you complaining?" you raised an eyebrow, "what if i just kept a tab on you this entire time? and you never knew?" more books get put away.

"then i'd rightfully pay you back," gepard wholeheartedly responded, "or i'd arrest you," he joked.

you mock-gasped, "for what?" you're getting closer to the middle now.

stealing my heart, the intrusive part of gepard's mind thought. he'd been hanging out with serval too much; he would never say that. gepard internally cringed.

"false advertising," he moved closer to the middle, “i don't know," he smiled to himself. gepard doesn't think he would have the heart to arrest you.

you blushed at hearing the captain lost on amendments. the captain wouldn't know how to arrest you. is this flirting? or are you reading too much into it?

you don't know if the heat on the back of your neck is from gepard's words or the sun shining so brightly on the back of your neck. you stack some more books on shelves; you've now reached the middle. you're having trouble reaching one of the shelves, but you're too lost in your thoughts to even think about that.

in fact, you're too lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice the warmth disappear from the back of your neck. your cheeks are still warm, so you are still blushing. your struggles with the tall bookshelf are lost when you feel a hand over yours.

"i'll take that," gepard quietly mumbles. it's so quiet that you didn't hear it at first.

on instinct, you turn towards him. when you looked at the position the both of you were in, you noticed that you were caged against him. you were caged against the captain of the silvermane guards. against a bookshelf.

gepard towered over you. his body was centimeters closer to fully pressing on you. his breath was fanning on your face. you could see every detail of his face from your view from below. your hands were so close to grazing his chest, so you immediately slapped them to your sides. you gulp, you start to breath quicker, and you feel like you're about to combust.

you swallowed, trying not to move. you were frozen in place as you tried not to disturb gepard. you gaped at him as he was working to organize the books, not noticing the position the two of you were in.

when gepard finished, he gave a sigh of relief. he underestimated your job: if you had to do this every day, you were probably stronger than some of his soldiers. when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by your wide eyes staring right into his.

he was breath-taken by your beauty. the look in your eyes as you look into his was captivating. gepard needed it framed. the way your lips parted made him go feral; his heart stuttered with every second he looked at you.

his arm was pinned above your head. your bodies were so close that you kept focusing on the rise and fall of gepard’s chest. the way his expression scanned yours made you want to quiver against him.

you said the first sentence, “hard work?” your tone was breathless. you were still trying to catch your breath.

“yeah,” he sighed, still not noticing the way your bodies curved into each other, “hard work.”

“did i waste your time?” you whispered. it was quiet, like you were ashamed of your actions. you looked down at his chest rather than his face.

“no,” gepard leaned in, trying to hear your voice one more time. he tilted your head up slightly with his fingers so you could look at him, “you’d never.”

silence crippled the room. it was just you and gepard, the two of you leaning oh-so-close together that your lips were nearly about to touch. a part of you wanted to lean into him; you wanted to pull him closer and closer until you were both out of breath.

but that was delusional. that was something straight out of romance novels, and your life was anything but.

gepard leaned in closer on purpose. he gave into temptation and wanted to feel your lips on his. he wanted to grab you by the waist and pull you so tightly into him. he wanted this: he wanted your kiss, he wanted your insight, he wanted you.

but with gepard, want is not something one could have. especially one like him.

“i’m sorry,” he abruptly let go, “i’m⎯i think, i have something i need to do,” he took a few steps back away from you, leaving about three feet in distance. quite the opposite from how you two were positioned a few seconds ago.

“oh,” you let go immediately. “i’m sorry! i didn’t know,” you quickly ran to the other side of the room. you wanted to hide from embarrassment.

“not your fault!” gepard shouted as he headed for the exit, “goodbye mx yn!”

you didn’t bother to say goodbye as you slammed the door shut after he left. what just happened was mortifying. the position you two were in? the way you two gradually leaned closer to each other? no wonder he ran away, you thought, you must’ve scared him off.

oh, if only you knew how wrong you were.

you didn't see gepard for a week after the incident. he hadn't come into the bookstore at all the entire week. however, that also could've been your fault: you've been in and out of the bookstore for the past week. if you faced gepard after the incident (you've dubbed), you'd probably apologize and beg for forgiveness.

but still, wouldn't he come in and leave a note? wouldn't he at least stop by once? did you scare him off that badly? the more you thought about it, the more you thought about becoming a hermit.

you'd thought you terrified him and ruined your friendship (and any future hope of a relationship) until flowers appeared on the counter of the bookstore. your assistant refused to let you know who they were from.

you bent down and eyed the pot of flowers sitting on the counter. they were your favorite color: pink. you had to admit, they were gorgeous. they looked well grown, as if these were from a master gardener. the flowers bloomed perfectly, each petal reaching out for the sun.

the message of the flowers also intrigued you. begonias are the flowers that symbolizes knowledge and deep thoughts. whoever gifted these to you must have been very observant or they wanted to be your intern.

"did someone come by asking to be my intern?" you stood up and put your hands on your hips. your lip twisted in thought. you were a bit preoccupied at the moment; the bookstore was getting exceptionally busy and (with your whole gepard crisis going on) you didn't think you were fit to be a mentor at the moment.

"no," your assistant shook her head. you leaned back on the counter, wondering why (and who) would gift you flowers on such a strange day. you already knew it wasn't gepard, due to the awkward tension surrounding the both of you right now, so you had a big list to narrow down.

"but," your assistant continued, "someone dropped off this letter with the flowers. they told me to give it to you after you saw the flowers," your assistant handed you the letter.

it was very formal, the letter. it's envelope was very extravagant, fit for someone with high standards. the stamp was still warm, meaning that this letter had been written recently. you tore open the envelope to reveal it's contents.

yn,

please do me the honor of accompanying me to everwinter cafe tonight. i would really appreciate seeing you there.

gl

"g.l." you paused, "as in green lantern?!" you asked your assistant, wide eyes and all. "who is trying to cosplay as a superhero to talk to me? this is insane. did i owe someone a book or something? charged them extra?" you panicked.

your assistant frowned at your idiocy. who else could 'gl' entail to besides gepard landau? "what if it's the captain," your assistant urged on, nudging your shoulder.

"it couldn't be the captain," you jolted. does your assistant know? "we barely even talk," you try to reason.

"he comes in here nearly every day," your assistant counters, "if not every day, be it every other day," they sighed.

"he just comes in to look at books," you placed the flowers in a safe space in the shelves. "we don't converse as often as you think."

"you talk every day," you assistant drags on. "you're telling me that the two of you have no relations whatsoever?"

"we⎯it's complicated," you sighed, "long story short, it could never be the captain," you looked down at the plant. even if it was gepard, what was he doing? sending anonymous flowers? cryptic notes? why couldn't he just talk to you?

"you should go," your assistant encouraged, "you never know. it could be the captain or it could be another potential secret admirer."

"you think?" you raised an eyebrow. your assistant nodded in response.

you looked at the flowers one more time. though you wished it was gepard who sent them, you knew it was probably someone else trying to flatter you into taking them in as an intern. but as you stared at the begonias, no other thoughts beside gepard consumed your mind

it was late when you walked to everwinter cafe. tonight was not a particularly chilly night, but belobog's slight chill was ever present.

you walked around aimlessly, trying to walk slowly so you can prolong the sight of your "intern." you tried to focus on other things as you walked past, such as the plants and heaters surrounding the city. it's wondrous how things such as plants are still able to flourish in times like these.

as you viewed your surroundings, you saw a note placed on a lamppost close to the cafe. it read, "'i know you're working. i wanted to be somewhere...' safe? familiar? comfortable? 'near you.'

you automatically knew which book that quote was from. book lovers by emily henry. it was your favorite romance book; you've raved about it many times with gepard.

as you continued, you saw another note, "'if you saw yourself the way other people see you, you'd never doubt again.' 'how do people see me?' 'like you're the most beautiful, most remarkable, thing they've ever seen."

you must admit, you blushed a little bit while internally reading that. the only reason you blushed was that because you discussed that quote with gepard. you were talking about the 'twisted' series and how it had it's pros and cons with gepard, and this quote was one of the pros.

another read, "'who are they? the best part of my day.'"

another, "books she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives."

and the last, "'favorite word?' 'you.'"

you quickly noticed that these were all quotes from your favorite books. these are books you've only discussed and rambled about with one person: gepard. you'd never thought he would've actually read these books. let alone, you'd never thought gepard would also quote them.

with slightly more hope than before, you ran up to everwinter cafe.

"did you get my message?" gepard stood tall in front of you. you couldn't look into his eyes and it was killing him.

"your letter? yes, i did. and your flowers too. they were beautiful," you rocked back and forth on your heels.

"thank you, i grew them myself," he gave you a soft smile. you wanted to talk about how he managed to even grow such beautiful flowers, but how could you talk to him if you couldn't even look at him in the eyes? "but, did you get my message?"

you looked down at the many notes in your hand. it turns out gepard had left notes after all, "oh yes. i did," you blushed at the obvious context of the quotes. "all my favorite books."

"yeah," gepard spoke breathlessly, as if all of his air had run out after he started speaking to you, "but did you get my message?" he looked at your face for any type of indication: whether you liked him back, hated him, or had no strong feelings towards him. his eyes darted throughout your face, and the sight made you slightly flustered. he was leaning over you, and you thought you saw his eyes graze over your lips.

then it donned on you. the flowers. the letter. the sneaking out at night. the romantic context of all the quotes. the way all the quotes were from your favorite books that you've only talked about with him. the way gepard has admired and remembered every single thing about you. your stomach dropped as you realized gepard had been feeling the same things you have felt for him this entire time. your heart pounded in your chest as you finally met his eyes in the pale moonlight.

"yes," you swiftly exhaled. it was like all your hidden feelings for gepard were compacted in your chest, and when you finally breathed, they were all let out. it was like all your troubles were leaving you, "i did."

"and..." gepard trailed off, now failing to meet you in the eyes. he was terrified of your rejection; your opinion was one of the things that mattered most to him. before, he regarded it was his passion for the people, but now he recognizes that he was just passionate for you. "did you like it?"

"i loved it," you smiled; it wasn't just a soft smile this time, like the ones you've always given him. it was a big smile: loud and talkative, much like you. one smile could convey so much.

but you still had thoughts, "i didn't need all of this though," you grabbed his hand for reassurance. you were in range of his lips. you could close the gap right now.

gepard froze; your words and your touch made him tense. he was finally able to look you in the eye, having prepared himself for iminent rejection and was ready to leave. whatever you needed, he would do.

"what do you need?" gepard asked frantically. "whatever you need, i will give it to you. whether it be space or never seeing me again."

what you needed? you needed his thoughts, his opinions, his reassurance. you needed his touch on a cold night, you needed his arm around you when you were cold, you needed to feel him beside you on nights similar to this. you needed everything that he was.

"i need you," you whispered up on his lips. "right now."

and gepard swore the entirety of everwinter city heard his heart drop to the ground. he was sure that you could feel his heart pounding in his chest after you said those five words. only five words, yet gepard felt like he was going insane. he was going insane for you: your touch, your mind, your words, your entirety.

gepard removed his hand from yours for just one second, using it to tip your chin up so you could be in his view. in the pale moonlight, you were gorgeous. to be fair, you were always gorgeous, but something about tonight extenuated your beauty.

"can i⎯"

"don't even ask," you cut him off, leaning into him.

the kiss was soft and sweet at first. the feeling of your lips pressed onto his was heavenly: gepard felt ten times stronger with you than with anything else. it was gentle and tender.

but when you tugged your arms around his neck, all restraint went out the window.

gepard moved his hand from your chin to your waist, pulling you closer into him. it was bold for his first kiss, but who could blame him when you're holding onto to him so tightly?

you threaded your hands through his hair as he kissed you feverishly. his hands on your waist made you want to combust into him. you were standing on your toes at this point; if you tried to stand any taller, gepard was about to lift you up into the air.

when you finally stopped to breath, all that was left in the air was your love and the light from the sky.

"was i your first kiss?" you asked him coyly, arms still wrapped around his neck.

gepard blushed and you immediately knew his answer to your question. you stood up one more time to give him one more quick kiss.

yes, you were his first kiss. and gepard wished for more to come.

i need a week off after this fic i swear to god

[boopshoops]

Common sense doesn't feel all that common when coming from a fella such as this.

template by ai-kan1! dividers here! sound on :)

Alias: Creek

Nickname(s): Cricket, Piranha

Gender: Xenogender

Pronouns: Any with they/it preference (they>it). Also prefers masculine language/titles (i.e. lad, mister, sir, etc.)

Sexuality: Unlabeled

Birthday: June 1 (Gemini)

Age: Somewhere close to 200, they've stopped counting

Height: 5'8 or 172cm, though the height of the doll is adjustable.

Voice Claim(s): Yuri Lowenthal, Keiichi Nanba

Twisted From: Jiminy Cricket

Unique Magic: None! It's magicless.

Job: Playful Land Owner

Hobbies: Terrarium making, architecture, entrepreneurship, bug collecting, raising bug colonies, reading, violin, creating soundscapes, fashion.

Likes: Bugs, spiders, nature, Italian roulade, their doll body, cricket song, old locomotives, leaving large impressions on others, seclusion.

Dislikes: Existentialism, extreme pessimism, extended periods of boredom, drawing in an unwanted crowd, unrewarded extended efforts.

Fears: Being completely numb, feeling nothing, being stuck in one place for too long.

Summary: The eccentric yet secluded benefactor of Playful Land, both feared and loved by many for their charities. The owner is known for exploring many different business ventures, to the point where their company is behind a startlingly large amount of big names and faces. It's been around for a suspiciously long amount of time... at least others find it suspicious, Creek's lifespan isn't that much of a secret to their close circle... that circle mostly consisting of a bunch of insects, but still.

Creek, evidently, is more so focused on doing their own thing and finding constant sources of emotion rather than living up to the standards their business has risen to. After all, once you reach the top, it has to find out just what else life has in store for them. That, and what life has in store for others. Whether that is dangerous or not is up to you, long as you stay on your toes.

Playful Land's owner is known among their hires - even in avenues outside the amusement park - as being oddly generous, if not even incredibly intelligent. Guidance is something they are almost always willing to offer, in any topic or field. Don't get it wrong, though. They're not kind or overtly rude. What you see is what you get, even if it gets you sent straight to hell. Thems the facts, lad.

CHARACTER PLAYLIST - CREATION STORY - DEATH STORY

Author's note: koisdghdosieeee theyre so sillayyy! theyre just sooo sillay guys trust me guys its just a sillay lil geek mk! wym they abandoned isola and stole whats practically her skeleton. what could u posibly mean i jhave no idea what you're talking about :) they just like little critters theyve never done anything wrong no human trafficking into labour here noooooooooooooooooooooooooo pal!!!!!! perfectly legal lived a perfectly normal amount of time totally is NOT a peepaw and has not fed ANYONE to their massive supply of crickets.

anyway ernesto/fellow bombing their giantass ship was the most entertaining thing thats happened to them in a decade <3

mr. "why are you charging those two for the destruction of the park" "i just wanted to see what would happen lol" Creek

Tag list :)

@skriblee-ksk @lowcallyfruity @justm3di0cr3 @kitwasnothere @cecilebutcher

@distant-velleity @thehollowwriter @techno-danger @scint1llat3 @the-trinket-witch

@beneathsakurashade @kathxrat-01 @qsoap @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto

@gimmeurmoneyagh @tixdixl @sillyslipperybananapeel @twstinginthewind

[explorevenus]

sleight of hand ♡ toji fushiguro/f!reader

nsfw (18+) - minors. dni or i will call ur mom. and also the cops

word count: 4.5k

tags/warnings: sleeeeazy toji, stickyfingers toji (he steals ur wallet), size kink, manipulation, degradation, oral sex (f + m receiving), facial (f receiving), creampie, masturbation, multiple orgasms (for toji), choking, brief daddy kink mention at the end cus i just can't help myself

description: toji tries his luck, and his pickpocketing prowess, with a pretty little thing at the bar.

a/n: commissioned by my beloved @nexysworld <33 give her ur thanks if u enjoy this cus she gave me the push to make it a reality :3 <333

dividers by @strangergraphics !!

my masterlist ♡

my ao3 ♡

fic under the cut, thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ;w;

-venus ♡

Anyone who knew Toji Fushiguro knew he was a gambling man— it’s not like he made any effort to keep that a secret— and while many of the city’s darkest and grimiest had come to recognize his habit from the blackjack table, the back rows at the horse races, or the single, dingy slot machine in the corner of the nearest bar he hadn’t already been 86’d from, only Toji himself could truly know the extent of it.

It didn’t always have to be about money, after all, especially since he didn’t tend to have much of that to throw around these days, anyway. Sometimes it was about how many kilos he could deadlift, sometimes it was about how many hours he could go without getting bored and jerking off. And speaking of jerking off, sometimes it was about whether he could manage to sway a blatantly unobtainable woman into a cheap hotel bed, or maybe even down on her knees.

Strictly going by the numbers, his luck with women was just about as treacherous as his luck with money. Most birds kept their wits about them now, even shitfaced, always bogged down by an annoying group of friends to yank them away, or a pushy bouncer to interrupt just as things were starting to look good. Of course, the girls that bit usually did end up getting hurt, just in the realm of dignity rather than personal injury. But that was neither here nor there.

You, though, you didn’t know him. Pretty little thing sitting up at the bar, squeezing a lime into a short glass of vodka with cranberry juice, offering sparse laughter as your friends talked around you. The friends were a bit of a barrier, sure, but the longer he observed, the more he began to realize that they weren’t paying all that much attention to you anyway. You looked excessively bored, and should his odds be any good tonight, maybe that meant you would be open to the allure of a handsome stranger striking up a conversation.

“Lookin’ a little lonely over here, doll,” he said smoothly, leaning against the bar at the empty space next to you, ready to try his piss-poor luck for the night. “Name’s Toji. Mind if I join you?”

You looked a little puzzled at the realization that he was speaking to you, eyes sweeping uncertainly back and forth between your group, and the absolute giant who seemed to be trying to flirt with you. You were just as intimidated by his size as anyone else he’d approached before, which was understandable, but more than that, the look on your face was remarkably… unimpressed.

“Last I checked, you don’t need to ask permission to sit at the bar, Toji,” you answered him shortly, one brow slightly raised. Perhaps against your better judgment, you were challenging him.

Toji smirked, taking that as an invitation to sit his ass down. He could appreciate a woman who’d make him work for it. “That so? Well, pardon the hell outta me for tryin’ to be polite, then.”

Taking a sip from your drink, you mirrored that smirk right back at him and muttered indifferently, “You’re pardoned.”

Ouch.

Clicking his tongue, Toji pressed on, unwilling to accept defeat just yet.

“Sharp lil’ broad. Not even gonna give me your name?” He chuckled, brushing a lock of hair over your shoulder in a move that forced you to look at him again. “All bark, though, I bet.”

Expression pinching with annoyance, you waved his hand away from you and scooted to the other edge of your seat for another few inches of distance, glaring up at him. Sure, your friends were all having a great time together as though you weren’t even there right now, but you didn’t come to the bar tonight with the intent to be hit on by some broke, greasy douche. You were here to knock back a couple of fruity drinks and then Irish-goodbye before midnight, and you weren’t about to forfeit that plan so easily.

“If being really fucking annoying is your only strategy for picking up women, you might wanna reassess,” you scoffed coolly, “it’s not working for you, dude.”

“Yeah? Well, then, while we’re sharing dating advice, your cute little ‘apathetic cool girl’ act isn’t really working for you, either, doll. So where does that leave us, huh? Maybe we’re perfect strangers.”

You laughed, “Yeah, I don’t think so,” threw back what remained in your glass, and stood up to leave.

If it were any other man than Toji Fushiguro, it probably would’ve ended there. You’d say goodbye to your friends and duck out of the bar, hail an Uber, and be on your way back to your lonely little life just like that, probably never running into him again. But the luck of the draw didn’t appear to be on your side anymore than it was on his tonight— you’d already intrigued him.

And pissed him off, quite frankly, but a woman who could burrow under his skin like that wasn’t a turn-off for him. In Toji’s eyes, the only difference between you and a risky hand of playing cards was that you had a nice ass— and that alone was very much worth fighting for— the distinct outline of your wallet showing through the back pocket of your skin-tight jeans as soon as you got up. 

If you weren’t going to give him your name or any of your time of your own volition, maybe he’d just have to take it for himself while the opportunity was right there.

You jumped in shock as the massive palm of his hand delivered a cheeky smack on your ass, causing you to whip around and glare at that shit-eating grin he refused to wipe off. Before you could call him an asshole or even think to flag down the bartender over it, Toji smirked, “See you around, dollface,” and disappeared back into the corner of the bar.

It was damn near noon by the time you woke up, ready to spend your Sunday nursing your mild hangover with a good coffee and a heavy breakfast. You took your time crawling out of bed, dragged yourself into the shower to wash off the lingering miasma of grime and cigarette smoke that clung to you from the bar, and all seemed well enough for a while. You put on some comfy clothes and the nearest pair of shoes to go get food, digging your  discarded jeans out of the laundry basket in search of your wallet.

Only to find it missing. It wasn’t in your pocket anymore, despite your distinct recollection of having kept it there.

With an annoyed groan, you overturned your laundry basket to keep looking, hoping it’d just slipped out into the depths at some point, but no such luck. It wasn’t in any of your usual spots, either, missing from the bedside table, the bathroom counter, the basket by the door. You wondered if you’d left it in your Uber, so now instead of walking down to the café on the corner for a latte and a bagel sandwich the size of your head, you were pacing your living room on the phone with customer support while simultaneously wondering if you should be cutting off your cards.

Grating, low-quality hold music scraped through the speaker of your phone, now the score for your anxious and irritated thoughts. You definitely didn’t drink enough to have left the bar without your wallet, right? You were tipsy by the time you left, but you weren’t incoherent by any stretch of the imagination. Still, you couldn’t help but beat yourself up like this was your fault.

Fifteen straight minutes of hold music yielded a negative result— you hadn’t left your wallet in your rideshare. The only option left now was to call the bar, but would the bar even be open at noon on a Sunday? You didn’t know, and you didn’t really care to know right now, either. You were just annoyed and needed a few minutes to stew in your feelings about it, so you plopped down on the couch and buried your face in your hands, huffing out a frustrated groan.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

At first you were even more annoyed that your moment to sulk was being impeded upon, too, but as soon as you realized that it could be someone returning your wallet, you shot up from the couch to answer it. 

Only to immediately wish you hadn’t.

“You’re shitting me.”

Toji stepped forward and leaned against the door frame before you could shut it on him, though you wouldn’t have been strong enough to, anyway. Arms crossed smugly over his broad chest, he towered over you, every last pound of muscle on muscle that you remembered from last night, down to that shit-eating fucking grin. He was even wearing the same outfit.

Tucked between his index and middle fingers was, unsurprisingly, your wallet.

“You’ve got a cute name, y’know. Shouldn’t’ve tried so hard to hide it from me,” he chuckled, and as soon as you reached for your wallet, he was holding it over your head. “Tch. C’mon, princess, I can tell you’ve been fussin’ about yer damn wallet all morning. Aren’t you gonna thank me?”

“Thank you?” You scoffed, stretching up on your toes to try to snatch it away from him, but he just raised it higher. “You probably stole it in the first place!”

He just shrugged at this, quipping, “No evidence for that, now is there, doll? I’m just a good Samaritan returning a pretty girl’s lost wallet.”

You were fucking fuming, glaring up at him like you wanted to rip him to shreds with your mind, but from his perspective, your little attitude was just adorable. You looked like a fussy Pomeranian or something.

“Aw, sweetheart,” Toji teased, quite literally dangling your wallet just out of reach. “You want it back, yer gonna have to find a way to thank me for my efforts… otherwise, I might just go blow it all…”

This was stupid. Part of you wanted to just tell him to keep it and slam the door in his face, but another, less rational part of you wanted to get it over with and have him hovering over you in a different way, but that would be a reckless decision, of course.

…However, this back-and-forth was getting you heated in places you never would have expected. Maybe it was just because he was so fucking fine, heavy with muscle and strikingly handsome, looking down at you with that scarred, wolfish smirk like he was already imagining you on your back. It was scummy and gross and obviously fucking rude, but with the way you were already imagining his fist around your throat and his cock splitting you open, you weren’t really in any position to be casting stones, were you?

Your face flushed red and you hesitated for a moment, poking your head past him to look down either end of the hallway, which Toji observed with great amusement. Once you were certain no one was around to bear witness, you grabbed him by a fistful of his shirt, and he allowed you to think you were dragging him into the apartment.

“That’s more like it,” he laughed, only letting you think you were in control long enough to get through the door— once he was in, he scooped you up under your arms and spun you around, pinning you against it until it clicked shut. Despite his effortless disposition, he was genuinely shocked that this worked.

Hooking your legs around his hips, you urged him closer until you were pressed flush up against each other at the crotch, noses near enough to brush together.

“Don’t think I’m doing this to get my wallet back,” you grumbled, nipping at his bottom lip.

His chest rumbled with a deep chuckle and he nipped at you right back, taking advantage of your partially open mouth to slide his tongue in. Toji only pulled back once he was sure you were breathless, kisses and bites trailing up to your ear as he continued to tease you, “What, you worried about yer reputation or somethin’? I don’t care why yer doin’ it, princess, I just want you naked.”

You figured that much was true. He didn’t seem the type to care, and right now, you didn’t really care either. Rolling your hips into his, delighting in the heavy groan it solicited from him, you panted into his ear, “Then get me naked…”

He truly couldn’t believe his luck. Slipping one arm around your waist to hold you up, he pulled you away from the door and let you point him to the bedroom. It sort of looked like a tornado went through it after you’d upturned everything in search of your wallet, but he didn’t even notice, too busy pinning you right down on your back like he’d been wanting to since you left the bar. This certainly beat the hell out of a cheap motel room— your bedding was soft, and everything smelled like you.

Pausing at the end of the bed to tug his own shirt off, Toji then stooped down onto you, massive hands sliding up under your own baggy tee. You sat up just enough to let him get it over your shoulders, and just as soon, it joined the mess of other laundry on the floor. As eager as he was to get you out of your pants, too, he couldn’t help but descend upon your breasts first, palming one while he kissed and sucked at the other, tongue flicking over the bud until it rose to a stiff peak. 

“Such pretty fuckin’ tits, darlin’,” he growled against your skin, trailing his lips across your sternum until he reached the other, laving it with the same attention.

You were a writhing, whimpering mess beneath him, spine jolting up into an arch every time he marked your delicate flesh with a bite, which only encouraged him to keep going, of course. Holding you down with the span of his hands covering nearly your entire ribcage, Toji made damn sure there wasn’t a scarf, a turtleneck, or any makeup product on Earth that could conceal the expanse of bruising bites he’d left on you. Right now, he had every intention of cashing in on the full extent of his spoils.

But, so did you. Feeling along every inch of him you could get your hands on, your touch wandered down to the front of his jeans, where you could already feel his stiffening cock threatening to pop the button. Working the denim open, you couldn’t help the pleased whine that escaped you as your fingertips brushed over his boxers, the heat there palpable, but so too was the size of him. You almost could have sworn his shaft looked as big around as your forearm, throbbing and puffy and already dribbling a wet patch through the fabric.

Toji’s ego was going absolutely fucking insane, through the whole entire roof. Not only did he actually manage to get in your bed by stealing your wallet, of all things, but now you were covered in his hickies and gawking at his dick like you were starving for it, and he hadn’t even taken it out yet.

“How ‘bout you open wide ‘n get it wet f’me, doll?” He drawled smoothly, tucking his hand beneath his boxers to finally free his cock, and it was every bit as massive as you expected, bobbing up from the confines of his waistband to bump against his navel. “I can tell ya want to, w’the way yer fuckin’ droolin’…”

Swallowing back some of that saliva, pupils blown wide, you considered telling him you’d only suck his dick if he was gonna eat you out too, but you really were starving for it, and more than ready to taste him— that, and perhaps you could manage to hold this BJ over his head to be rewarded for later. So you propped yourself up on your elbows and crawled to your knees, hooking your fingers into his jeans to tug them down the rest of the way, allowing him to kick them off.

“So big,” you marveled under your breath, not at all interested in continuing to stroke his ego. There was just something about the dirty and unexpected nature of it all that made you want to behave like a slut.

Letting your silky tongue slip forward, it was all you could do to make out with the head for a moment, licking and slurping every stray drop of salty pre-cum like it was your job. His head fell back and his fingers slid into your hair at the crown, tugging you closer, hips bucking at your mouth.

“Fuckin’ tease,” he grunted, but you could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn’t really all that torn up about it.

“Mm, you’re one to talk, aren’t you?” You grinned, voice low and sweet, gracing the eye with a wet smooch while you gently worked the base with one hand, heavy balls cradled in the other.

Huffing out a breathy, rueful chuckle, Toji gripped your hair even tighter and rutted his cockhead past your rosy lips, very much amused by how quickly tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes. He was far from the back of your mouth yet, and you were already grappling with how wide you needed to open just to accommodate him, probably already wondering how you were gonna manage to breathe. But that didn’t really concern him.

Especially once you drew in a deep breath through your nose, eyes rolling back as you finally allowed yourself to sink down on it. A muffled whimper sounded from you as his tip bumped the back of your throat, a quiet gag following, but you quickly suppressed it by swallowing around his length.

“Oh, that’s a good fuckin’ girl,” Toji growled, not bothering to stop himself from thrusting a little deeper into your mouth. “Good girl, no whining, pup, you can take it…”

Your hands came forward to grip at the meat of his thighs, desperate to steady yourself as he fucked your mouth. It seemed he couldn’t fully decide how he wanted to handle you yet, going back and forth between letting you take the lead, and rutting until you gagged. His grip at your hair never softened, at least not for longer than a few seconds at a time, but you returned that force by choosing not to care that your nails were digging at his flesh, scratching up his hips and thighs. Toji didn’t seem to care either— with all the marks he’d already left on you, it was tit for tat as far as he was concerned.

Drooling and whimpering like a needy fucking puppy, you looked way too cute with his cock down your throat. You were all flushed and hot, chin dripping with spit and tears, so taken by him that you could barely even keep those pretty eyes open. It was everything he wanted and more, somehow better than he’d imagined it would be when he was fucking his fist last night. He couldn’t wait to nut all over your face, just like he did on your ID photo.

At a certain point you did actually need a substantial breath, though, head pushing back against his hand with a weak little hum of protest. Taking the hint, Toji’s grip let up and he took it upon himself to keep stroking it in the absence of your velvety throat, watching you gulp down air past puffy, slick lips. Your head fell forward to rest your cheek on his thigh, and he allowed it, running his fingers through your hair with one hand while the other worked his length.

“P-Pretty,” you whispered, eyes all beady and glassy with lust, following every pump of his fist.

Toji puffed out a breathy laugh, hips twitching impatiently. “Tryin’ to sweeten me up now, or are ya just that cock-drunk?”

Grinning, you gave a dizzy shrug, sitting up again in preparation to keep sucking, but he tightened his grip to stop you just as your open mouth was right in front of it. Your eyes flicked up to look at him, but your confusion wouldn’t last long— with a deep, rumbling groan, Toji stroked himself to completion, milking rope after rope of spend unto you, your mouth, your face, even a few good drops on your tits. This beat the hell out of jerking it to your ID.

Beefy chest rising and falling as he caught his breath, smirking down at you, Toji swiped a drop of cum off your lips and pushed it into your mouth with his thumb. “Now look’it you… that’s pretty, baby. Pretty lil’ slut.”

You cleaned his thumb before pulling off with a gentle pop, blinking up at him like a perfect whore. Normally he would’ve been content to just put his clothes back on and ditch you after the blowie, but you were smoking hot and he was dying to fuck you— he’d just need a minute to get it up again, but with you, that was no massive obstacle.

Fist curling around your throat just tight enough to guide you back down to the bed, he pinned you there, shucking off your sweats and panties with his other hand. Now you were finally naked, and for Christ’s sake, you were gorgeous. 

He only let go of your throat so he could kiss his way down to your pussy, spreading your thighs as wide as you could comfortably stand so he could devour you with nothing in the way. You were pleasantly surprised that he was going down on you without provocation, but as soon as his tongue came into contact with your sex, you could tell it was because he genuinely wanted to. Just one taste was all it took for him to lose his composure.

“O-Oh, fuck,” you cried out, clawing at the sheets as he tongued your clit, every moan vibrating through to your belly. “Toji!”

Hearing his name like that certainly helped in hardening his dick back up. Slipping the tip of his wide tongue past your hole, he lapped at every drop of arousal that leaked from you, strong nose buried up to your clit so he could take advantage of every possible way of stimulating you like this. Your pleasure tasted incredible to him.

“T-Toji… Toji, please,” you babbled, back arching up off the bed as your hands flew down to yank at his hair, the balls of your heels digging into his muscular back. “Fuck me, fuck me, Toji… fuck…”

Detaching from your cunt to look up at you, he shared in every bit of your eagerness. He could’ve laid here and ate you up for hours, but you’d been a good girl for him, and he couldn’t bring himself to make such a good girl wait any longer… or something. He just really wanted to fuck you.

“Fine, fine,” he laughed as he sat up to his knees, reaching for his jeans so he could snag the rubber he brought for this exact purpose. “Since yer askin’ so politely…”

Once more, you were gawking at him while he tore the wrapper with his teeth and rolled the condom on, his cock twitching with every heavy beat of his heart. He took great pride in your amazement, of course, watching you watch him, and the way you buckled just at the feeling of his tip popping past your hole nearly brought him to laugh again.

“Oh, yer just too cute, little doll,” he mused, leaning down to nibble at the shell of your ear as he bullied further into you. “Tight like a good little virgin, but we both know that’s not true, huh? You suck cock like a whore…”

“Toooojiii,” his name fell from you in an airy whine, hips shifting and walls pulsing as your body tried desperately to accommodate his size, and loved every second of it, judging by how wet you were.

“Shh, sh, I gotcha,” he grunted, grabbing you by the throat again to steady you. “If ya keep fuckin’ moanin’ like that, I’m gonna blow early…”

That shut you up, for the most part. All that came from you now were quiet gasps and whimpers as he began truly fucking into you, slowly at first, and then with abandon. Your usually quiet apartment was now lighting up with the scent and sound of sex, your choked cries and his unabashed groans, skin on skin and the headboard banging into the wall. You felt sure you were going to regret this later, but that didn’t matter right now. Every time the swollen head of him prodded against your cervix, your thoughts scrambled up and then dissolved into nonsense again.

He was so big, so thick, each and every inch stretching you open with a pleasant burn. Your thighs were already shaking, nails biting into his shoulders hard enough to break skin as you weakly hooked your legs around his hips, going a little tingly from his grip on your bruising neck.

Mindful not to actually choke you out, Toji loosened his hold, teasing, “There ya go, that’s it… get some blood flowin’ back to that itty bitty brain…”

You just nodded dumbly, and he loved it. You were a dream, your pussy was a dream, and in a perfect world, he would’ve been tempted to just slip the condom off and creampie you, keep you forever. With the way you were sucking him in, he could’ve guessed you wanted that too.

“T-Toji… I’m close, I’m close,” you wept mindlessly, “gonna cum, please…”

“Mm, such good manners, princess,” he huffed into your ear, pace of his thrusts becoming more stilted and needy. “Gonna soak daddy’s cock, baby?”

The worst part about that was that he’d waited so long to call himself daddy. As you tightened around his length and went tumbling over the edge, clenching and sobbing through your long-awaited release, you were crying out that title like a mantra, making up for lost time. The weight of your slippery walls closing down on him made him bust, too, his load flooding the rubber.

Toji collapsed next to you on the bed, both of you sweating and gasping to catch your breath, neither wanting to be the first to speak. When Toji saw you last night, you were just supposed to be a one-time thing. When you let him into your apartment earlier, it was just supposed to be a one-time thing. But now you weren’t so sure, and Toji wasn’t either.

In the end, it was you who broke the silence.

“You owe me breakfast, by the way…”

Turning to look at you with a raised brow, Toji scoffed, “Yeah? And how do you figure that?”

“You stole my wallet.”

He barked out a laugh, scrubbing his hands over his face to try to help him drift back to reality from the afterglow. Your argument was fair enough on its own, of course, and you’d certainly earned your breakfast. As you both got up to start pulling your clothes back on, he hoped to himself that you’d be up for round two after a good breakfast.

[jhdyuiee]

Late Sesh

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: ̗̀➛ pairing: IDOL!taeyong x PRODUCER!Y/N

: ̗̀➛ warnings/tags: smut!, dirty talk, co-workers, name-calling (baby & slut), protected sex, semi public sex (studio sex), fingering, breast play, secret relationship, friends w/ benefits

: ̗̀➛ wc: 1k

: ̗̀➛ a.n: hii again! this is the 2nd fic i’m releasing today 😆, i hope yall enjoy this short one since i did enjoy coming up with the story! anyways i will release more in the future before i go back to school, i promise !! anyhow i hope u enjoyed yutas & taeyongs stories, thank uu to u all who read n enjoyed it i rlly appreciate it!! i love u all && see u next time, jiji out 🤍 [link to yuta’s story: YUTA.]

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It was already past 12 in the morning when I sat here in my studio waiting for him to arrive.

The infamous Lee Taeyong.

It was scheduled for us to record the last B-Side off his 2nd Mini Album. Taeyong actually was the one to suggest we record late “to better set the mood.”

I had no problem with it actually, in fact I enjoyed late-night recording sessions. As the minutes passed there was still no sign of him and just when I was about to call him, there was a knock on my studio door.

I got up, opening it. Speak of the devil.

“You’re late,” I reminded the male as he plopped down on the couch I had in my studio.

“I stopped by the bathroom,” he shrugged.

“Just get inside,” I replied, handing him the lyric sheet to 404 Loading.

He took it, pecking my cheek before stepping inside. My face felt hot, probably even visibly redder than a tomato. ‘He’s too flirty.’

A couple hours later we wrapped up, and he decided on a “celebration.” So here I am in my recording studio straddling his lap and our lips colliding with each other. His hands traveled my body, and mine stayed placed on his nape.

I moaned into the kiss when I felt his hands grope my ass, causing me to start grinding on his semi-hard cock. His hands then traveled to my hips, urging me to grind harder against him. The sensation of his hard cock on my now sensitive clit made everything unbearable. It felt like I would just cum from dry-humping the male.

“Take off your shorts,” he whispered. I got up from his lap and shimmied out of my shorts, leaving me in nothing but my lace thong which was now soaked. Taeyong pulled me by the string, sitting me back on his lap. I faced the other way, his breath on my neck and his hands cupping my sex.

“Wet all for me,” he whispered into my ear again.

His hand then went under my underwear, teasing my clit and my slit. He played with them for a while until I kept squirming at his touch. “Yo-your fingers, pl-please,” I pleaded.

Taeyong scoffed lowly, before plunging in two of his fingers inside my cunt. He kept a steady pace, slowly increasing it the louder I got. “Don’t hold back, let me hear how good I make you feel,” he said, kissing my cheek.

His fingers went in and out of me, while his mouth worked it’s way on my neck, and his thumb worked it’s way on my clit. His thumb teased, circled, and pinched my clit. I was growing overstimulated from everything. He was everywhere. I loved it.

“Cumming already? Cum for me, cum on my fingers baby.”

His words triggered the knot inside my stomach undone, like a command with no hesitation of abiding by. He took his fingers out, licking them clean inside his mouth as he looked down at me. I was already a mess and we haven’t even gotten too far yet.

“Shirt off. Everything off,” he said, tugging at the material on my top.

I took it off along with my bra and underwear. I stood naked in front of him. I saw as he licked his lips, eyeing me like his next meal.

“Your body’s perfect, so fucking beautiful,” Taeyong said, as he took one breast in his hand. His other hand followed along until both hands fondled and played with my breast. Slowly then he brought me closer, and was back on his lap.

He took his hands off my breasts, his mouth soon replaced them. I watched as his mouth sucked on patches of my skin and his tongue swirled and flicked my nipples until they were hard. He let go with a pop, taking off his shirt. “Get up for a bit, I’m gonna grab a condom.”

I stood up, sitting down next to where he was and watched as he grabbed a condom from the “secret drawer” he made in my studio. He brought his sweats and boxers down, until his hard aching cock stood proudly against him.

Taeyong slid the condom down, and walked back to the couch where I waited. “Come sit on it,” he said, grabbing onto my hips. He guided me down on his cock, as it stretched my insides out. I know we’ve done this multiple times before, but I still can’t get used to his size. I moaned out his name repeatedly the more he went inside, and once it was all in he whispered into my ear. “Ready?” I nodded.

He started thrusting into me, and I soon joined in when his thrusts got faster. I bounced on him, feeling as he reached deep inside me. “Look at you, you’re doing so well.” There he goes, his praises. His praises have always turned me on even more, pushed me a little bit more.

“I lo-love it!” I yelped when he suddenly grabbed my hips and thrusted me even more.

“You feel so fucking good, so warm, so tight, so wet.”

Yes.

“You love it when I praise you, don’t you? Makes you clench around me.”

Yes.

“Fuck. Hold it in baby, wait until I’m ready to come, okay.”

“Yes, I-I will wait,” I whimpered.

“I wonder if someone will come in, and see how much of a slut you are,” he teased.

I turned to the door and saw it was unlocked, shit. Taeyong then suddenly grabbed my jaw, making me face him again. “Eyes on me slut.”

“Sorry,” I said softly.

He thrusted into me even more, the pace increasing. Taeyong’s hand then went down into my clit, playing with it. He edged me even more. “Pl-Please let me cum already,” I said with watery eyes.

Taeyong smiled, kissing my lips. “Cum with me baby.”

One brutal thrust and we both came crashing down. My head went back, my vision whitened. I heard as Taeyong groaned, his breaths trying to calm down.

“Stay here, I’ll go get something to clean you up,” Taeyong said, as he detached himself from me and laid me on the couch. I watched as he discarded the condom and left the door.

My eyes wandered to the ceiling, then closing. ‘I really just fucked Taeyong in my studio couch’ I thought. ‘Now I can’t look at it the same way any more.’ I sighed, then giggled. I waited here for his return.

For his love.

ೃ༄

© jhdyuiee

24.03.26

[why-are-you-still-awake]

hiii u think u could write a lil thing where the reader does their eye makeup to match gaaras eyes please and tyyy :33 (btw feel free to add anyone else if you’d like 💕)

A/n: okay, anon, here ya go 🤭

Warnings/content: nothing :)

Characters: Gaara and Sasuke

A/n: Since sasuke doesn’t have any face “markings” his will be skin care :) also these won’t be too long….

Gaara

❀ You were always absolutely in love with Gaara’s eyes, even the black rings around them. You know he couldn’t control it but it was cute anyway. ❀

❀ One day you decided to try and replicate his eyes so you sat down in front of your mirror and attempted, keyword attempted to make your eye liner look like his. ❀

❀ It came out interesting looking and while you were sitting in front of your mirror Gaara came in. “Darling….what are you doing?” You were horrified and immediately tried to wipe it away. ❀

❀ You’re wiping only smudged it and made you look like a disheveled raccoon, you were embarrassed and refused to look at him for a bit. ❀

❀ “Hey, let me see….” He said quietly, grabbing your chin gently forcing you to look at him. He gently wiped away the smudged eye liner and redid in, making it look exactly like his own eyes. ❀

❀ “See? Much better…” he loved that you tried to copy his eyes, he felt flattered that his lover wanted to kinda look like him. ❀

Sasuke Uchiha

❀ You never took your boyfriend as the type to participate in skin care, but when you walked in on him wearing one of those head band things and gently scrubbing his face with “sensitive skin cleanser” you just had to know more. ❀

❀ Your hands were immediately all over his face, now that’s how he got his skin so soft….he was embarrassed, he never thought his partner would find out about his secret hobby. ❀

❀ But when you told him you wanted to join him, he was kinda surprised you didn’t tease him for doing something considered traditionally feminine. But you were meet with a “Tell anyone and you’re toast” did he mean it? Maybe, but you might just tease him about this from now on. ❀

Thank you for reading! I love you! I’m becoming more consistent with posting :) sorry for this being so short, but thanks for the request.

Do not repost

Tagging: @ssailormoonn

[silkscream]

CHAPTER 8: TERMINAL PARADISE

ੈ✩ gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru x reader

He likes to braid your hair while you braid Suguru’s. He thinks of bringing the bed from his room into yours, pushing the two twins together to fit the three of you. Looks at you both with puppy eyes.

ੈ✩ chapter cw/tags: explicit content (18+ mdni) , unprotected sex, high/drunk sex, dubcon, somnophilia, oral sex, threesome, the boys being........ evil?

ੈ✩ wc: 7.7k

ੈ✩ a/n: what's upppPP i'm a little tipsy rn but. here is chapter eight. title from the adrianne lenker song. anyways this chapter is very self-indulgent but as i read it back it makes me like. sad. i shan't elaborate. it's very stupid olympic sex i'll tell u that. belligerent fucking if u will

playlist ✸ read on ao3 ✸ series masterlist

June, 2009

Heat sticks onto you like a leech. You’ve started to think you’ve become one, what with the dark side of your technique. You walked the halls feeling like a white deer that failed to blend into a thicket.

You latch onto your boys like a leech, too. Fighting for space in the same sky in between the sun and the moon. Suguru likes to tell you you’re the stars in small ways, always a gleam in your eye despite mostly feeling dim. There isn’t much time for moping anymore, Satoru tells you. It’s the summer, after all. 

It’s quiet on Onjuku Beach. Well, quiet enough, save for the occasional splashing and the sound of Satoru’s cackles as he swims underwater and pulls Utahime’s ankle. You hold back laughter, watching her lash out like she usually does, Satoru running away like a little kid.

You take a bite of watermelon, the juice dripping out of the corner of your mouth. When you feel Suguru’s weight on the blanket next to you, you give him a slice. He wipes your mouth with the pad of his finger and tastes it on his tongue. He’d gotten accustomed to grooming you like that. Braiding your hair and sticking petals in it in the spring. Rubbing your shoulders with suntan lotion.

You glance at him afterward, when he’s not looking, grappling with the urge to bite him on the shoulder. You think that maybe Satoru would. You aren’t sure if you have the same privilege.

The afternoon drags on, barely changing the summer sky as the tide stays consistent between you and the moon. Shoko and Utahime had headed back an hour before, leaving Satoru’s head in your lap and Suguru seemingly napping underneath a Murakami novel. 

You’d scrunched your nose up at the sight of it—Norwegian Wood. You’d teased Suguru about it, accusing him of being pretentious with a secret love for hollow female characters. He’d rolled his eyes, tipping back a beer, teasing you for bringing No Longer Human.

“Talk about dysfunctional and sad,” he sneered. 

Satoru’s damp hair isn’t helping the shiver of your thighs, the sheen of your smooth skin now riddled with goosebumps. He’d teased you for taking the time to shave every part of your body before the mission, something you never did. Keeping up your appearance when you didn’t need to for him. Suguru likes a bush, too, you know. 

You flushed when he said that, like your face was on fire.

Being day drunk is fun, you decide. Haziness suits the three of you.

You’re sweltering, to say the least, considering the late afternoon sun is setting in a place that hits you directly. Suguru stirs. You feel his warm breath on the side of your thigh as he rises, rubbing his eyes. 

“You think I tanned unevenly?” he asks, squinting at you.

You shake your head, smiling. He smiles back, yawning just before he snaps the side of your bikini bottom without warning. You wince in surprise, blushing.

“Wanna wake up the prince?”

“But he looks so sweet when he’s asleep,” you sigh. “And so quiet.”

“Real fuckin’ quiet,” Suguru laughs. He pauses as he looks at Satoru, as if skimming his face for something. He flicks his nose with his finger, making Satoru flinch and whine.

“C’mon, Satoru. Up.”

He mumbles something in between a whimper and a slurred mutter, nuzzling his nose into your lap until you feel his hot breath fanning your cunt. He whines even more when you shift, attempting to get to your feet and put on your cover-up when he latches onto your wrists with his hands. 

“We gotta go,” you coo softly. 

He obliges with a pout. Satoru had rented a house with an ocean view for the three of you to stay in, much too luxurious for a mission that would only last a few days. But he had the expendable funds, and he refused to stay in a hostel like you had suggested. 

He continues his petulant attitude, his stride like that of a child on vacation. It did feel like a vacation, if you had to be honest. The curses you’d exorcised the day before were hardly exhausting.

It’s only been three days in Onjuku, but you think that the boys are plotting against you.

It’d started the first day, Thursday, after a few exorcisms and one Special Grade made of tongues that they were able to kill in record time. Satoru had insisted on showing as much skin as possible, citing the heat. He was wearing your favorite shirt of his, unbuttoned to show off his alabaster skin, unblemished by anything at all, not even the hot sun. 

He’d also insisted on dessert for breakfast, pointing out the novelty shops along the coast of the local town with the titillation of a real tourist, as if he hadn’t spent weekends there as a child. That’s how the three of you ended up eating popsicles for breakfast.

He was being annoyingly sly, pinching and prodding at you all morning like a little boy. He’d insisted on mimosas before noon, Suguru oddly going along with his antics at your expense. You’d had popsicles at the beach after. Satoru wouldn’t stop staring at you, blinking through the brain freeze as his mouth went to work on something strawberry-flavored. He was obscene with it, his tongue moving in languid movements, disgusting you but burning your skin at the same time.

His lips were stained bright red for the rest of the afternoon, but it looked so beguiling that it had you distracted for the rest of the day. You knew you could have him — he had never played hard to get — but something would gnaw at you telling you the opposite. Made him like forbidden fruit, deluding you.

For one, he was either missing your signals or feigning oblivion, a game that you willingly became a pawn to. He had always taken up too much space, but now he was tugging at your hair like you were twelve again despite your protests. 

And then, when you were brave enough to sneak a hand on his thigh underneath the dinner table or cuddled a bit closer to him in bed, he did nothing. 

Suguru was less obvious about teasing, which made you feel like you were crazy. 

It started with small grocery runs. Suguru accompanied you after Satoru refused to go on the principle of having enough money to dine out for every meal. It felt domestic to pick vegetables with him. Both times, he’d thrown in a treat or a drink that he knew you would like without asking. He’d praise you after the day’s work in ways that set your guts on fire.

He had also, it seemed, picked up the same habit as Satoru of tugging your hair to get your attention. There had been fleeting touches to your waist, too, when he would simply be passing by you after you were done showering. Absent-mindedly, as light as an apparition. Shifting bodies as casually as two people passing in a crowded bar, yet it felt like a car crash to you.

He’d continue that for the second day. Even yesterday, when you had been using the outdoor shower to rinse off after the beach, Suguru had walked in with a drink to offer. Despite still being in your bathing suit, you had felt scandalized by his gaze alone. 

Now, on Saturday evening, you’re alone with him in the beach house while Satoru attends a meeting in Shinjuku against his will. 

Suguru lays on the couch lazily, his tongue jutting out to lick the side of a joint in between tea-flavored papers. You walk into the living room with a yawn, having just woken up from a short nap after reading on the porch. At twilight, the sky flushes pink and purple above the horizon. 

You think about what to eat for dinner, thinking about the prospect of cooking with Suguru alone, which should come as a wholesome, harmless daydream, but truthfully makes your face warm. There are plenty of restaurants down the street, some that even delivered, you recall from a brochure left on the counter. You were intrigued by a seafood restaurant that Satoru had promised to take you to—

“Want a hit?” Suguru’s voice interrupts your ruminating.

“Oh,” you blink. “Um, sure.”

He chuckles as you join him on the couch as if he can read your mind. “It’s like Shoko’s cigarettes, I promise.”

“I know,” you frown, pouting. “I’ve smoked weed before.”

“Last time we passed a blunt around, you kept talking about how it’s against the law.”

“It is!” you mumble, shrugging.

“Yes,” Suguru grins. “And we’re sorcerers that wield magic and kill monsters.”

You roll your eyes, taking the joint from his fingers. He hands you a Zippo, the very one that you had gifted to Shoko months before. You’d have to remember to pocket it afterward to give back to her. 

Suguru chuckles when you take a hit and inevitably cough. When he takes it back, he huffs and exhales a cloud towards your face, grinning with ivory teeth as his Adam’s apple rolls back. You can’t help but fixate your gaze on it.

He taps your knees in a rhythmic pattern with his fingers when you take the next hit. Already, your vision is vignetted with hazy white, but every movement between the two of you feels incredibly sharp, as if you’re wielding the Six Eyes in a dream. Your mouth feels dry, your lips bitten down by your teeth. 

Suguru had been too lazy to change after the beach, barely in the mood to shower until the dampness of his swim trunks had gotten to him. He’d changed to another pair of shorts, the inseam short enough to allow exposure of his tanned thighs, and not bothering with a shirt because of the humidity. Even this close to him, he still smells like sea salt. His long hair was slightly textured, naturally tousled by the ocean.

You sink into the couch, sighing. You feel as though you're overheating. Despite this, Suguru is next to you, thigh to thigh, the spot in between you burning. 

His lips feel chapped, his tongue dry from cotton mouth. He thinks about sticking it down your throat.

The radio that comes with the house is old as shit, something inexplicably adorable enough to be in a vintage shop but not practical enough to own considering it would buzz every few minutes. The signal is weak, crackling as Tatsuro Yamashita plays at a low volume. 

Suguru throws his legs over your lap as he inhales, passing the joint to you but not releasing it. Instead, he merely holds it to your mouth himself, lighting it with Shoko’s Zippo.

Normally, you’d shake yourself after a session, splash your face with cold water before you would start imagining things. You were addicted to the feeling of his fingertips, the sensation exacerbated by your high. The last time you were like this, you’d pictured Suguru’s mouth on your cunt, the image bombarding your mind throughout the night. You numbed the urge with alcohol, still taking bong rips until you threw up in Shoko’s trash can.

You don’t think you’re hallucinating this time. His fox eyes point at you and descend down your face and jaw. 

“No more,” he says.

“Why not?” you whine.

“Your eyes are glazing over,” Suguru chuckles. “So fucking gone.”

“I'm not,” you sigh, pushing his legs off of you and leaning into his shoulder. 

He welcomes you with open arms, allowing you to lay your head on his chest. He smells like his sunscreen, coconut from his fragrance, salt from his body. His skin is incredibly warm too, but so is your entire body, particularly your chest. You can feel your heart beating. You can feel his palm on your thigh. Scorching.

So touchy with you. You wonder if he’s high on anything else. Maybe that was why he was so affectionate today.

Suguru stretches his legs across the couch, your body like a doll’s in between his thighs. He cracks open the can of beer beside him—when had he gotten up to get one?

It’s more humid at night. Or maybe it was the slick of his skin. Either way, you think your hair must be matted with sweat, a messy braid loosening at the back of your head. Strands spin in between Suguru’s fingers like loose threads of a sweater.

“You’re excited.”

“What?” you squeak out, surprised. His voice interrupts a miasma of inebriated thought loops, dripping desire bombarding the forefront of your mind. 

“Your heart’s beating fast,” he observes. “And you get real horny when you're high.”

"I don't—”

"Don't think Shoko and I don't notice Satoru stealing you away when we smoke," he laughs.

His fingers curl around your jaw, lowering to feel the quickening pulse of the right side of your neck. You’d surely smell like him by the time you shower tonight. Coconut and sea salt and beer.

You shake your head.

Suguru had been at a deficit with you for the past six months. He would dream about your cunt sometimes, the sight of you on New Year’s permanently etched into his brain. He and Satoru still looked at the same magazines they’d collected in adolescence, spilling ropes of white to the same pages that had always gotten him going, but you were still more prominent in his head.

He would think of your mouth parting from the sensation of his fingers pushing through the slick of your pussy. Your tongue exploring the underside of his neck.

Satoru has been overly possessive ever since the school year started. Suguru had started to believe that he would never have you again and that he should accept it. He didn't feel particularly entitled to you. The Six-eyed sorcerer had his claim on you since he was a child, anyway—Suguru would learn to get over it.

But now, here you are, in his lap. Your breath quickens at the feeling of his hand on your thigh. Suguru could bet that you were soaking through your panties, perhaps from the moment you found yourself alone with him.

Lately, Suguru wants you more than he wants Satoru.

He loved Satoru so much, more than he thought he was ever capable of since he’d met him at fifteen, but he constantly dreams of the softness of your skin instead. He liked that you were pliant, desperate. It’d be easy to coax a reaction out of you, letting him in the crux of your thighs with just the tiniest amount of teasing. Suguru knew that you would say yes to him as eagerly as you would to Satoru, your mouth already watering. It made him feel insane.

Your cheeks heat up when you feel his dick hardening beneath you. Prodding at the small of your back, the only thing separating you is a thin piece of nylon. 

“Aw,” he purrs. “You have a freckle right here.”

“Do I?” you breathe, your eyes lowering down to where Suguru’s finger strokes the inside of your thigh, the tip of it caressing a dot of dark brown. So tiny that you hadn’t even noticed it yourself. 

“S’cute,” he whispers. You shiver, then. His hot breath all over your neck is intoxicating. When his fingers skim your collarbone, he notices it’s hot to the touch, your pulse twitching the same as it does when he’d called you princess. 

You swallow thickly, turning to face him in his lap. He says your name with a heaviness that has your heart sinking to your feet.

“Can I kiss you?”

You don’t answer, merely turning your head to melt into him. High out of your mind.

He’s careful with you. His lips are soft despite being a bit chapped, his aftershave prominent in the air with notes of sandalwood. There’s intent to it, something you didn’t often feel with Satoru over the past few weeks. 

Your hands cup his jaw almost immediately, while his own hands cup the flesh of your thighs. They slide up to squeeze your ass, which forces a mewl out of your mouth. 

He didn’t think his cock could get any harder, wanting to burst from his shorts. It hurt.

“You’re so warm. You got a fever or something?”

“No,” you breathe.

“Your skin is burning. Wanna take this off?” he grins. A shark smile. His fingers skim the hem of your dress.

You do it without him begging. He doesn’t even have to convince you — you’re peeling it off, exhaling at the feeling of the thick air around you. Even with the slip of fabric off, you still feel so fucking warm against him.

You yelp when he grabs your breast, squeezing it along with his tongue on your nipple.

“Suguru—”

Your whine falls flat. You don't remember if you were meaning to scold him or to beg for more. He smiles with his forehead pressed to yours, his hands smoothing up and down the skin of your sides.

“Pretty,” he muses. 

“Pretty,” you repeat. He’s beautiful underneath you. 

A beat passes. You don't know who closes the distance first.

It’s a gnash of limbs, of lips, of teeth. Devouring each other. The weed made you so fucking wet, dripping into his lap through your panties. He doesn’t bother with them, pulling them to the side to fuck into you without a warning. You don’t even recall him taking out his dick.

The feeling of him makes you want to cry.

He groans at the bulge of your lower stomach, his cock carving out the gooey parts of you for him to nest in. The flush of your cheeks makes you look like a flower. Your cunt blooming for him, hot and tight.

You feel like you’re being split apart, like the skin of a mandarin orange unfurling beneath his hands.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he sighs, gaining control of his voice. Humming instead of growling, like he’s sinking into a warm bath.

You think it would burn if you weren’t so wet, his girth thicker than Satoru’s. 

He holds you by the hips, thrusting into you at a slow pace, breaking you open. Making a mess of your insides. 

“Does Satoru fuck you this good?” he grins.

You’re too breathless to reply. As if you even could, your face feverish at his taunting. You didn’t think you could survive a grip harder than Satoru’s, but despite Suguru’s gentle demeanor, his hands on you are brutish. 

You kiss him, licking up the taste of beer and weed, slightly herbal from the papers. He moans into your mouth when you grip his hair. It’s soft in between your fingers. Like real silk. 

Suguru had dreamt about this for months.

“You look so pretty,” he grunts, teeth bared. “Fuck. Thought about this for so long.”

You whine at his admission. His cock is impossibly deep inside you, coupled with the sensation of your limbs melting like boiled sugar. You roll your hips, cunt spasming around him already. Your nails make crescent-shaped marks on the meat of his broad shoulders, mirroring the same ones that he had made from gripping your waist.

Suguru’s hand holds the crux of your neck, tipping your face upward to look at him dead in the eye. Everything in your body is cloying heat, making it difficult to keep your eyes wide open, but he forces it from you with deeper thrusts. His fingers coax your mouth open for you to suck on, making you whimper, making you choke on his digits. 

There’s a flash in Suguru’s eyes, the smallest gleam that you had recognized in Satoru. Something predatory.

“Knew you’d be a good girl,” he whispers in your ear. “You think about me like this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you whimper.

He pulls back, leaning back on the couch to let you have your rut, your pace eager like a starved puppy. Part of him wanted to mark you up just to piss Satoru off, though he knew the bastard would probably like it anyway. 

“How do you think about me?”

“I—Suguru—”

“Tell me,” he teases, his smile serpentine. He pulls out to flip you over, your tits pressed against the arm of the couch. “Like this? Pulling your hair?”

"I think about your mouth. About your cock inside me," you say. Mindless. Under his spell.

The stretch from behind feels somehow deeper than before. He groans at the way your back arches, your hair in his fist. Your knees are already chafing from the leather beneath you, the back of your thighs burning from slapping against his skin.

“Close,” you choke out.

“Yeah,” he sighs, biting your shoulder. “Cum on my cock, princess.”

You could pass out like this, you think. Your vision is already spotty, air stolen out of your lungs from the brevity of his movements. Your mouth hangs, wide open and slack as a pitchy moan rolls out.

Suguru follows soon after you — he can’t help it when you sound like that. He’s addicted. Desperate to live inside you like this, high in every earthly sense. He has half a mind to pull out before he spills, but he can’t pry himself from you.

Still dizzy, you lay on him while he cleans up the mess in between your thighs, his cum nearly leaking onto the couch. You’re surprised when he grabs the back of your neck to kiss you again. Neither of you keep track of how much time passes as you make out like teenagers. You feel almost faint in his arms.

“Fuck, you’re still high as shit, aren’t you?” Suguru says, squishing your face in between his hands. He slides his dick back into his shorts, light soiled from precum. If he hadn’t put them on again, he probably would’ve been too tempted for another round. Even with your hand palming him while you made out, you were clearly in another dimension.

Looking at him makes you feel raw. Like letting him fuck you was the same as volunteering your heart on a pulpit.

“Dinner.” It feels strange to use your voice. Swapping spit with Suguru wasn’t doing much for hydration.

“Yes,” he chuckles. “Want to go to that restaurant?”

“Mm,” you whine, slinging an arm around his neck. “Let’s do takeout.”

Satoru manages to slip back late at night, long past the time you and Suguru had fallen asleep on the couch with the television on. He smirks at the sight, hovering over the two of you like the Grim Reaper. Suguru would surely snap at him if he was awake, but for now, the Six Eyes examine every contour of each of your bodies fit together like clasped palms. 

The room smells like sex. Or maybe Satoru is projecting, his jaw only now relaxing after keeping his teeth so gritted during that stupid fucking meeting with the higher-ups. He kept thinking about you, distracted by the sight of you at the beach, your bare legs splayed out on the sand. 

Suguru probably got to you first. Of course, he would. It makes Satoru bite his cheek, but it also makes the butterflies in his stomach feel like daggers.

He stills when he hears you hum, mumbling something unintelligible as you bury yourself in Suguru’s chest. It’s so soft, so innocent, yet Satoru has to excuse himself to your shared room so he can wrap his hand around his cock.

He thinks about your mouth when he’s close and decides not to finish. He’d rather feel you against him instead, skin to skin.

The sound of you mewling in your sleep is adorable to him — you do so in his arms as he lifts you bridal style, prying your body from Suguru’s grasp. When he puts you down in the bed, you look angelic.

Satoru rubs your thigh, prying your legs apart gently so he can suck kisses into the skin. You twitch, your breath heavy. Indulging in your dreams while Satoru indulges in his. 

You squirm, stirring when you feel his tongue in your cunt. You’re already so wet for him, pliable and ripe for him even in your sleep. He tastes salt, the aftermath of his best friend’s release, and he laughs.

“Satoru,” you mumble, your voice still in a dream-like haze.

“I’m right here, baby,” he murmurs, licking a stripe from your clit to your belly button. “Missed me?”

“Mm.”

The air is thick with tension as he rises to slot his body behind yours. Satoru pumps his cock once before he slides into you without much warning. Despite being wet, your cunt burns.

“Sator—” He covers your mouth. 

“So fucking tight,” he groans. “Thought Sugu would’ve loosened you up, huh?”

“Hurts,” you whimper. 

“Take it,” he sighs. “Take it for me.”

His teeth on your shoulder make you dizzy. You still feel like you’re dreaming, but the stretch he has in between your walls makes it all too real. Satoru knows he doesn’t deserve you like this, but he’d decided the moment he stepped into the house that he would be selfish tonight. 

He fucks you like he’s starved. 

Even in the wine-dark night, he senses his best friend all over you with his Six Eyes. You’re covered in him. 

You pant into his palm until he descends his hand to your throat, pulling you taut against him so that your back arches. He doesn’t bother with making you cum, mostly circling your clit to get you wetter. Inside you, he feels boneless, washed away of his irritation. 

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Oh, fuck. ‘m sorry, baby.”

“Too much,” you whine.

He shoves his fingers into your mouth the same way Suguru had done hours before.

With a mean cant of the hips, you can feel his body slacken after warmth fills up your cunt. Your voice is high and needy on the comedown. You taste blood in your mouth from biting down on your lip too hard, chapped from all the kissing of today. 

“Love you,” he mumbles, his mouth on the nape of your neck.

He falls asleep soon after, leaving you with your thoughts, still half-drunk on him, barely lucid. It makes you sick, the way you want him, the way you let him use you. But you liked it. You liked his violence and possessiveness as if his actions were love letters.

Satoru had you weaned on something so saccharine that you stopped caring about the possibility of it spoiling. You welcomed the rot anyway. You had your own to wield with your bare hands.

August, 2009

You dream about them sometimes. You were shocked that the boys didn’t have any more games to play with you during that weekend, the two of them collectively ignoring the smell of sex in the air and the casual touches. They still touched you in their own ways. Reminding you of yourself. Your role as a toy.

Sometimes, you dream about them together with you as the voyeur. You’d see their broad backs, sweat pooling into a navel. Tongue-kissing. They were both too large to fit on the dorm bed together, you’d imagine. 

Satoru gets clingier. If that was even possible. He sleeps in your room instead of his more often now, leaving his clothes tucked messily in your bottom drawer. It’s almost domestic, the way he starts sweeping the floor like it’s a shared house, the way his toothbrush kisses yours in the chipped mug on the bathroom sink.

Even when he's not physically in your room, his presence always lingers. The amount of belongings left behind that are Satoru's continues to increase. Video games he forces you to play with him. Manga piled up on the corner of your desk.

He likes to braid your hair while you braid Suguru’s. He thinks of bringing the bed from his room into yours, pushing the two twins together to fit the three of you. Looks at you both with puppy eyes.

It’s during this time that you realize how touch-starved Satoru must’ve been as a child. He had clung to you then, too—always playing too rough, always finding a part of you to hold whether it had been your hand or your braids to pull. From an early age, he’d always needed that relief. Something to sink his teeth in fully.

He’s more than willing to wear his heart on his sleeve for you, which you find endlessly amusing. It makes him dopey, almost stupid in his affection for you. You’d consider yourself a girlfriend if either of you would say it out loud. Neither of you do.

Suguru likes to sneak up on you in small ways that evade Satoru’s watchful eyes. Like the times he sleeps in your dorm when Satoru is busy on a mission. Suguru will indulge your interest in movies that are more cerebral—psychological thrillers and slow cinema. Satoru doesn’t have the patience for it, always opting for a slasher horror or an action film. Suguru likes to be quiet with you in these instances. Likes to stroke your hair when you rest your head in his lap. Likes to fall asleep in your tiny bed, his larger body engulfing yours.

You’re being shared between them, though you aren’t sure of the conditions. You don’t have the guts to ask. You don’t even notice a significant change. Being attuned to the boys in physical and emotional ways is almost second nature to you, now.

Between July and August, the three of you are a set. 

A crowded bed. Weed-induced makeouts. Someone’s hand snapping the waistband of your shorts and slinking downwards. Sometimes, you can’t distinguish their touches. You don’t care to.

August is golden light waking you from sweet slumber. August is liquid gold in the sky reflecting on smooth skin. Bare knees hanging from rooftops. 

The summer loosens you up, much to Satoru’s delight. Enough to convince you to be more social, at least.

One night, your dorm is crowded—Shoko supplies the weed and Utahime supplies the alcohol.

Strip poker again. A unanimous decision because the school had poor ventilation and there were too many of you for your single box fan to air out the room. Shoko calls the game off knowingly—Satoru’s making his eyes at you again, drunk and high off his ass while you’re occupied with conversation. Any more clothing items stripped off and the rest of them would be kicked out of the room. 

You all settle on a movie drinking game, then. Something stupid, something American that Yuki picks out. You think it’s funny that she hangs out given her anarchist values on sorcery.

Satoru is, of course, annoyingly clingy and annoyingly cute. Hogging up all your attention the second you lean into Suguru in the slightest bit. You almost want to scold him, maybe spray him with a bottle like he’s a cat.

He doesn’t bother to put his clothes back on—not all of them, at least. He leaves his shorts on, though you think they must be a size too small given the inseam. You’re still clad in shorts and a crop top, giving Satoru any excuse to touch any expanse of skin between your hips and ribcage despite the number of times you complain about being too warm.

The girls get too drunk too fast. Yuki falls asleep in Suguru’s lap while Shoko and Utahime end up making out without caring about who’s looking. 

The minute the three of them are out your door, Satoru’s lips are on yours. Teeth adamant on biting into the flesh of your bottom lip like a predator. He tastes like strawberries this time. You can barely keep up before you register that Suguru is behind you, laughing, cursed energy flickering.

Despite everyone’s departure, the room feels smaller. 

Satoru has never been so eager to show off like this, believe it or not. He usually waits until the two of you are alone, though your reaction time is always too slow and the flippant speed that he takes you the millisecond you get privacy together is always too fast.

Maybe sometimes, Suguru would be asleep nearby while Satoru would tease you to sleep, but he’d never be a part of it. Certainly not in the same room.

So it has you deeply flustered now, just like it had been those many months ago in the late hours of New Year’s Day. Rushed and torrid. Two pairs of snake eyes on you. Getting torn apart by two sets of hands.

It seems that your suspicions on that beach weekend were correct.

Satoru’s been bringing up Suguru when he fucks you lately, asking you if you think his other half is more attractive. If you’re thinking about Suguru while he’s inside of you. 

Of course, you don’t answer—you never do. But Suguru seems to be in on it, given the amount of times he bumps into you, the way he’s started to call you Twigs. He seems to be everywhere, all the time, the exact second Satoru isn’t around. Like a scab that won’t heal. 

He buys you lunch often, likes to treat you after studying the more practical parts of Jujutsu. Plays with your hair absentmindedly just like Satoru does.

He’s doing it now, making your scalp tingle as he presses his mouth gently at the nape of your neck—a stark contrast to Satoru’s tongue in your mouth. 

“You gonna let Suguru watch, baby?” Satoru mumbles against your jaw, his breath hot. “Or d’you want him to join?”

You nod dumbly, barely aware of yourself. It’s how Suguru manages to get your shorts off so swiftly. His hands caress your shoulder blades with palms outstretched underneath your shirt. Your own pair of wings. 

It’s too easy—like picking apart petals off a rose. Rough as the boys are, they don’t need to be. You’d fold over for them without much convincing. You can tell how much they love that about you, how Satoru probably whispers about it to Suguru in between classes when you aren’t watching.

So sensitive every time I touch her. Like it’s her first time all over again.

“Suguru,” you whine. “Kiss me.”

He laughs and looks at you like a shiny new toy. Precious. Suguru is somehow more boyish when he’s high, his cat-like smile as lazy as his slurred movements. He’s always graceful despite the posture problem he shares with Satoru. When he smokes, there’s a lightness within him. Rolls off the shoulders like water falling.

He’s perfect.

Satoru preps your cunt with his mouth. You cry out immediately, feeling the vibration of him beneath you. It was good that they cut you off from the joint considering how many beers you and Utahime were passing back and forth. You’re light enough now to feel every lick and suck so acutely, Satoru’s mouth making a mess of you. 

Suguru works on your neck, then takes your nipple in his mouth. You swallow a moan. Kitten licks from both of them and you’re already convulsing.

“Think you broke a record, princess,” Suguru grins.

“Best girl,” Satoru sighs, biting into the meat of your thigh. 

“C’mere. Let me taste her.”

You expect Satoru to huff in protest or move out of the way, but he doesn’t. He leans over your body and presses his mouth to Suguru’s, licking into it obscenely with a small groan. Your eyes widen with fascination, cheeks blooming.

“How is she?” Satoru smirks.

“Perfect. Just like always.”

You whimper in response. They both smile at you; God and the devil. You swear their faces blur into each other.

“That turn you on, baby?”

“She’s so cute,” Suguru muses. “All fucked out already.”

Something divine awakens in your blood. You want to indulge in them, be their pet. It’s like your brain is melting into a pool of desire, dripping out of you. You blink slowly, feeling a pressure in your stomach that bleeds of desperation.

“Want you both,” you pant. Your lashes flutter when Suguru feels the slippery plushness of your walls with his fingers. “Fuck, want it so bad. Need it.”

“So fucking wet, holy shit,” he groans. “All this for me?”

“You?” Satoru frowns. “I’m the one who made her cum.”

“And I’ll make her cum on my cock.”

“Dude—”

“You need to learn how to share, Satoru,” Suguru chuckles. His fingers are incessantly scissoring into you, yet the two of them bicker as if you aren’t there. “You owe me for getting us in trouble last week.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault that we both forgot to put up a veil—”

“Shut him up, will you, sweetheart?” Suguru interjects. “Shit, he’s hard as a rock.”

You whine when Suguru removes his fingers, but he’s quick to fuck into you. It’s whiplash, the stretch of him. Satoru rolls his eyes and leans in to cup your face with his hand, kissing you while his other hand pumps up and down his cock.

“Oh,” you gasp.”S-Suguru…”

“Does it hurt, pretty?”

“N-no. Feels too good.”

“Feels better than Satoru? Yeah?” he sneers.

Satoru glares at him, exhaling a groan in between annoyance and desperation as he palms himself. 

“You know, I was gonna fuck her face but now I think that’s your job.”

“I’ll fuck you after, relax,” Suguru chides. “I wanna kiss her.”

He leans down. His messy bun has fallen out of its scrunchie — it’s one of yours. Even when he has his usual hairstyle, he keeps it around his wrist sometimes. Now, his hair tickles your face as he kisses you, hand to your throat to hold you in place while your hips quiver at the sheer girth of him. 

“Satoru, c’mere,” you whimper.

He kisses you deeply before kneeling in front of you, his cock hovering over your face. You take him in your mouth, the flushed skin of his dick tight and throbbing underneath your tongue. You like the way he groans and pulls your hair, mirroring the way you were just pulling on Suguru’s hair when his face was buried in your neck. 

“Holy fuck,” Satoru moans. His thighs twitch. Suguru’s right – you look fucked out, eyes rolling backward. Must be the drugs. Then again, Suguru’s hitting every sensitive spot inside of you at a relentless pace.

“Such a good mouth, Twigs.”

If you weren’t getting fucked, you would’ve cringed at that. You hate when Satoru calls you that in bed. 

“Good cunt, too,” Suguru rasps. “Perfect cunt. Fuck, do you feel that, baby? Feel me up to your stomach?”

You moan around Satoru’s cock.

Satoru’s eyes are blown wide, a drop of blue expanding against the stark white of his sclera. He used to dream about this. His two favorite people in the world. It had occurred to him just then how much he wanted you both in the back of his mind. Wanted to consume you both in one bite.

He pulls out of your mouth, stroking his cock slowly as he watches. 

You whine something unintelligible. Begging, mumbling. “Faster.”

“Any faster and I’ll cum, baby,” Suguru groans. 

“Don’t cum inside her,” Satoru warns. “I’m still pissed at you for the last time.”

Suguru merely laughs. “Come over here and open your mouth then, pretty boy.”

His thrusts are getting sloppier but rougher. The impact of him is dizzying, the hand he has wrapped around your throat making you lightheaded. You can only stare with a parted mouth, fascinated by the succulent pink of his lips as he focuses on making you cum. You’re too out of breath to even tell him when it happens. 

It turns you inside out. Liquefying your body like treacle.

“You’re so cute when you cum, baby,” Satoru coos, squeezing your breast.

“Fuck, fuck, Satoru, c’mere,” Suguru slurs. He pulls out of you then, pumping himself over Satoru’s tongue until his cum spills onto it. He swallows and scrunches his nose.

“Battery acid.”

Suguru laughs, then looks back at you. “You’ll have to weigh in on who tastes better, princess.”

“My turn,” Satoru grins, his eyes a bit feral. 

You yelp when he manhandles you and gets you into his lap. He starts marking you up. Bites you a little too hard as if he’s trying to wake you up. When he thrusts into your cunt, you gasp, feeling him all the way into your guts. You spasm around him, still sensitive from Suguru.

He holds your hips and fucks into you at a steady pace while Suguru comes to caress your back, licking over your shoulder blades. 

“Satoru, you’re going to make her look like a domestic violence victim with the marks you’re making.”

“She likes it,” Satoru pouts.

“Fuck, ‘m hard again,” Suguru groans. “Lay her down.”

“No, I want her like this.”

“Too fucking bad, I want you like this.” Suguru pulls at you until your back hits the mattress and Satoru rolls his eyes, gripping your hips with bruising force as he drapes your legs over his shoulders. 

Suguru bites Satoru’s neck, peppering it with kisses. Watching them in front of you is tantalizing, makes you clench around Satoru harder. 

“Shit, you like that, baby? You like looking at us?” Satoru moans.

“Y-yes.”

Suguru spits in his hand as he preps Satoru from behind. It’s minimal, given how impatient he is. He reaches over to your bedside table, fumbling with a bottle of lube. It doesn’t take long until his cock fills Satoru to the brim. 

“Jesus.”

“Shut up and take it.”

Satoru feels too hot, too full. The feeling of Suguru’s cock in his ass inadvertently makes him bury himself even deeper into you, and he’s already on the brink. Suguru reaches over Satoru’s body to press a thumb to your aching clit until you cum with a strangled cry. 

The boys try to time their stuttering hips at a similar rhythm, but Satoru feels like he’s losing his mind. Caught up in between both of you, melting, barely lucid. Eyes squeezed shut with his mouth falling open. 

“Tell me you love me.”

You blink at him, wondering who he’s asking. The flush in his cheeks makes him look exhausted, spent. Drunk over the bacchanalian mess of it all.

“Love you, Satoru,” you whimper anyway. “I love you.”

He moans at that. Gasps when he feels the stretch of his hole split open on Suguru’s cock.

You watch with tears in your eyes, overstimulated from your orgasm. Over Satoru’s shoulder, Suguru locks eyes with you and smirks, not letting up eye contact nor the stimulation of your clit with his fingers. He doesn’t care that you’re convulsing underneath them, doesn’t care that hot tears are streaming down your face. He always thought you looked beautiful when you cried. It’s sick of him, maybe, but he wants to be the one to make you do it, even when it’s not his cock inside of you.

“Shit— Sugu—”

Satoru hits his peak, filling you with his cum when Suguru hits the perfect spot inside him. He’s whimpering. His eyes are glassy.

“Fucking shit, you’re tight,” Suguru mutters. “Gonna cum.”

“Not inside,” Satoru whines.

“You’re a fucking brat,” Suguru chuckles. 

Of course, Suguru disobeys, cumming inside Satoru with a guttural groan. Once he pulls out, Satoru collapses on top of your body, face buried in your hair.

You whine. You’re overheated, smothered. Your body feels as though it’s been rearranged multiple times like malleable clay in each of their hands. It’s a miracle that Satoru pulls his dick out of you at all.

“The hell was that?” he asks Suguru, out of breath. Suguru simply smiles, ignoring him.

“Let’s run her a bath. Poor baby looks like she’s gonna pass out.”

He’s right, admittedly. You aren’t even sure if you could get up if you wanted to, which is why Satoru scoops you in his arms. 

“We can’t all fit in the tub,” you mumble.

Satoru laughs. “Yes, we can. But fine, we’ll just shower after you.”

The two of them handle you like glass. The swapping of washcloths and soap bottles makes the ordeal ritualistic. Suguru runs his fingers through your wet hair while Satoru lifts one of your legs to scrub. 

“Little princess,” Suguru says.

“You guys treat me like a pet.”

The two of them exchange a glance. Unreadable. But there’s something of a knowing smile in Satoru’s expression.

“You’re just precious s’all. Perfect girl.”

You sigh, sinking into the water. Something turns over in your stomach, but you’re soothed by the sound of Suguru lightly humming behind you. They’re gentle with you. It’s ironic.’

Suguru kneads your spine and presses kisses to your wet skin. The smell of sex dissipates and the scent of Suguru’s shampoo wafts under your nose instead—he’d left it in your bathroom one weekend when Satoru was out on a mission. You have a suspicion he did it on purpose to get a rise out of Satoru or to make you smell like him. You didn’t mind either way. 

Every touch feels blistering as much as it feels soothing, somehow. White-hot, too noticeable, yet the feeling of their hands lets you exhale. Maybe it was the sex. You couldn’t even really look Satoru in the eye, not really. Something in the face was constantly changing, as if he was slowly transforming whenever you were joined together in ways that were beyond you.

He’d gotten rougher. Meaner in the hips, even if his kisses were meant to cherish. He’d get too eager. He always was, to be fair, but it’s been ferocious from him. Bruising your hips with the force of his hands, handprints adorning your ass. It would be Suguru to pick up the pieces, to soothe you with sweet nothings despite his cock splitting you open. It was only a few times since the beach trip, but it was as if they planned it together.

You realize this now in your post-sex haze. Steam in the air as heavy as your lids. They wanted to take care of you so badly. They just had to ruin you a little beforehand.

[miller-lookforthe-lite]

steps: part one

joel miller x f!reader

rating: M

words: 6.6k

summary: Westward bound, and your steps are uncertain. Your hands shake, and it's hard to keep the food down. Joel thinks he might know why. (or, how accidents sometimes lead us to our fates.)

tags/warnings: unplanned/(unwanted?) pregnancy, thoughts and discussion of abortion, vomit, canon-typical violence, nightmares, hurt/comfort (u already know what it issss) - please heed the warnings, as these may be triggering to some! MDNI

read on ao3

a/n: here she is boys here she is world. My first TLOU and my first x reader, all in one. this one means something to me, hope it does to you too. part two coming soon

The road is twisting around a bend when you make Joel pull over. He eases as gently as he can off the asphalt, the dense, looming forest closing in around you in the twilight. You swing open the door and barely stick your boot in the grass before you’re emptying the contents of your stomach into the ditch. The skin of your throat burns and your nose reeks, the scent of it is everywhere. Hands on your knees, you heave until nothing is left. You wipe off your mouth with the back of your hand and catch a glimpse of an eagle high above in glowing sunset, what’s left of it to see anyway. You put your hands on your hips, give yourself a second to breathe. In and out, in and out before you have to look at the crease between Joel’s eyebrows, the question hidden under his tongue.

You turn back around and pull yourself up into the beat-up black pickup. Ellie’s faint snores from the backseat almost impress you, her ability to sleep through a loud bodily function steadfastly enduring throughout your journey. A light breeze trickles its way over your spine before you can shut the door and your hair stands on end. You reach for the seatbelt and chance a glance at Joel. He’s making no move to shift back into drive. He frowns at you with that question in his gaze, his wondering brown eyes flicking between your own like he might be about to crack open his dry lips and ask, but he’s snapped out of his reverie by a gunshot off in the woods. He wastes no time, throwing the truck back into gear and pushing onward down the road, resting his hand on your denim-clad, gooseflesh thigh.

Your destination is Wyoming, some Western mountain-filled land that you’d never seen, but had come to know well through old faded maps and silent wishes in your companions’ eyes. Weeks ago, before everything had happened, before Ellie, before losing Tess, Joel had confided in you in a rare moment of quiet that he had always wanted to visit. “The Grand Tetons,” he had muttered darkly. “Thought they might be nice. Guess Tommy did too.” You hope it’s nice. You try hard to tell yourself this, that the beauty of the natural world will make up for its horrors, that there’s something beyond shuffling Infected and the Raider country you currently roam through. You picture a haven in your most secret dreams; maybe a bunker, secluded, serene. Stocked with nonperishables. Perfect for weathering a wretched existence.

Sometimes you convince yourself the truck was a bad idea. It’s loud and gasoline isn’t always so easy to come by, but you’re still too far away. Several weeks skirting broken and ancient infrastructure, and you’ve made it west but not to the West, not the mountains, not the cold like you know must be coming. It’s still too warm, the trees are too deciduous. You have the ridiculous impulse to fan yourself.

You lean your head back against the seat to let your fantasies play out behind your eyelids. There you see Ellie, chattering away with some long-forgotten board game under her arm and plenty of food in her belly. Joel, shaking his head but with eyes glistening joyfully. You, not having to pretend that you aren’t terrified, not running, not pleading, not shaking. Not sick.

A gunshot strikes through the air not far away, pulling you from your daydream. You glance over at Joel, but his eyes stay firmly on the road and his fingers wrapped around the steering wheel.

“Are they close?” Ellie whispers from the backseat, and you start, not even realizing she had stirred. You shoot her your most half-hearted smile and reach your hand back. She threads her fingers through yours absentmindedly.

“We’re okay. We got plenty of gas left. We’ll be out of here before they can even shoot again.”

Ellie’s eyes are wide, she wants so desperately to believe you, and you want so desperately for her to believe. To give her this, one breath of relief.

“Okay,” she murmurs, not releasing your fingers until the night has shifted once again to day.

-

“Come on!” laughs your brother, egging you on from his perch across the rooftops. He and your younger sister are soaked through, having already braved the icy downpour, the leap across buildings. You laugh along with him until you shift your gaze to where he’s looking. The other crumbling rooftop is empty. Your sister’s not there.

“Brandon, what…?” When you turn your head to look at him, he is gone.

You blink, and you’re in his fancy new office in the FEDRA headquarters. He’s older, just been promoted to some kind of private. He’s ruffling your hair and you’re mad, you know you were trying to say something important, something that would help him, and he’s brushing you off again. “Fuck off, asshole!” You can see the force of your words hammer through the air as you say them. The blast blows Brandon off his feet and he hits the wall, his head snapping to the side. He hits the floor with a thump and lays there without moving.

You open your mouth to shout but your sister’s face is in front of you. You’re in a back alley in Boston, it’s cold, so cold, and you’re so worried. “What did I tell you?” You know to say, grabbing her shoulders and shaking a bit.

“This is the right thing. This is right,” she insists, and your heart sinks.

“This is stupid,” you hiss. “They’ll kill you, Katie. FEDRA will kill you. Whatever war Marlene thinks she’s fighting - it’s not yours to fight - it’s not yours to die for —”

A harsh laugh splits from her throat, and you’re shocked to hear such bitterness pour from the mouth of the little girl you helped to raise. “What the fuck else am I supposed to do? I’ll die anyways, it should be for something, it should be —”

She was too loud. She raised her voice too much. She gave away your position. A shot rings out and the heavy weight of your sister collapsing knocks you to the ground.

You’re lying on the ground with Brandon. Dust chokes the air. Something heavy lies across your legs. You push as hard as you can, but it doesn’t budge. You grunt with the effort, but the thick air fills your lungs and you gag. You blink soot out of your eyes and turn your head to Brandon. He’s so still. Whatever’s lying on your legs is almost completely covering him. A trickle of red spills from down the corner of his mouth. Your lungs are filled with ash, dust, panic, terror. You try to say his name, but your lips can’t move. Brandon, your baby brother. Brandon. Just as you hear the big metal object creak, shifting for the first time, the air clears.

You’re standing in a dark hallway, dilapidated wallpaper peeling into its yellow crest all around you. Sobs and groans echo throughout the dim, and your feet carry you to the doorway. A make-shift hospital bed, a woman lying in it. You creep forward to see her face, to see your mother without her breath and her blood standing still. You reach for her, at the same time scurrying away, as far away as you can get.

You jolt awake with a scream, deep and entrenching. There’s a hard, calloused hand over your mouth in an instant, and you vaguely register that Joel is hissing at you to stay quiet, but you can’t control the wracking of your body, the panic coursing through your veins. You come back to yourself slowly, realizing there’s no blood on your hands, just Joel’s arms around you, just a thrashing heartbeat that threatens to beat you to a pulp. You’re pressed up against his chest in the bed of the truck, Ellie on your other side whispering frantically at you to calm down. It’s still dark out, but you can hear machine gun fire in the distance. You twist your head to look at him, reach out your hand to touch him, need to make sure he won’t disappear too. He’s real and solid, and his eyes glitter with apology in the moonlight. Ellie presses into your other side, arms coming around you in her sweet child’s embrace, and you’re ashamed that she’s had to witness your despair, that she is the one who shoulders your burden. Joel takes his hand off your mouth when he’s sure you won’t make any more sound, but holds you closer still, like he knows what you dreamed and is afraid of the same thing.

-

You met Joel for the first time when he was asking for directions. A weathered, haunted look in his eye, like he’d rather be doing anything other than asking the girl distributing rations which way around the construction detour to the South End, but a Boston native like yourself couldn’t resist the urge to demonstrate your own knowledge. That’s how you unknowingly wound up leading him straight to Robert’s new basecamp setup, an itch creeping up your spine once you realized what his intentions were. Stupid, you had thought, stupid to think nothing bad could happen in broad daylight, that he was beautiful so he was safe. So stupid.

It was there, when one of Robert’s fucking goons tried to rob the two of you at gunpoint, that Joel realized you had extra rations in your bag, rations that you had stolen from the distribution center — “They’re for my sister,” you protested —and that you had something more to offer him than just the best way to Richmond Street.

You set up a deal of sorts, after he had wiped his hands of your assailant’s blood. You stashed two extra cans per shift in your pack, and brought them to him. In exchange, he kept the gnashing teeth of the city’s smugglers’ off of Brandon’s back, offering your little brother a protection that his FEDRA school never could.

It was through this deal that you met Tess, that you had loved her, too — She took care of things in a way you had always wished you could, but without fucking up, like you did. She was calm, and powerful, and knew she was right, always. Joel looked up to her, too, even if he was too hurt to ever show it.

When she had asked you to come on a special run outside the walls, you were hesitant — several years into your partnership with the smugglers, and you’d only ever been outside of Boston once, to make a drop in Lincoln and get to meet that charming Frank that you’d heard grinning over the radio so many times. It was important, she insisted, a cargo like nothing they’d ever transported. A kid. You said yes, mostly because by this time you didn’t have anyone left to take care of, not the way you longed for, the way you knew how to.

You loved Ellie from the start, loved her spirit, her bite, so much like Katie in her fierce determination, and the ache of remembering didn’t hurt so much as Ellie’s grin helped. You guided her down the road like you knew you were meant to do - to give, to lead, to provide. Tess was more hesitant, but would always answer to Ellie’s curiosity, and always with kindness underneath her brusk.

Joel, of course, didn’t say much. Even after years of handing him can after can of crushed tomatoes, of deliberately brushing up against his fingers just to feel that shock of cool air when he pulled back, he didn’t even say much to you. You knew some things; you knew that he was from Texas, that he had had a brother who used to work with him and Tess, but who left. Who called once but didn’t any more.

You wound up knowing more about Ellie than Joel, strange given the amount of time you had passed with each of them, so much more with Joel, but so much fuller with Ellie. Her secret, her golden Immunity hung its mantle like an axe above each of your throats. It made Joel angry - it made Tess hope. It just made you wonder.

When Tess died, lighting her own pyre to ensure your safety, and Ellie’s and Joel’s, you felt even stronger the pull to shield your traveling companions. Tess was another mark against you, and you wouldn’t let her, or whoever was watching you fuck all these things up, see you fail again. So you tucked Ellie delicately under your wing, and she came willingly, so desperate to be talked to and known. You tried with Joel, too, but your urges competed. He wanted to protect, you wanted to control — you exchanged heated words at the hardest of times, but the journey didn’t stop for your obstinance, so they faded away as the Eastern coastal plains rolled behind you.

—

The End of the World chases you so all you have left to chase is euphoria. It’s some desperation to feel wanted, you know, and you’re sure that he’s just desperate to feel anything at all. That’s how this thing between you started, sparked from argument tinder and nurtured by lonely swollen nightfall.

After all this time, you know he cares about you. You know. He loves you. It’s clear in the way he’ll step in front of you when he perceives a threat, how he always makes sure you and Ellie have taken your first bite before he takes his. He loves the way a leader loves, by leading.

But he doesn’t love you like you loved him, not like when you led him down a Boston street like you knew the world, like when he pushed a bullet from its path to you on that first day, and every second and shattered heartbeat in between.

So you chase this parallel sensation as hard as you can. You chase his fingers, his tongue, his quiet exhales behind trees and in the dark, across a clearing, behind the truck. You try to pretend, however long it takes to find release, that somewhere beneath his rough and his scorn he could feel something for you.

—

Joel pops open a bag of stale, questionable chips and the smell explodes throughout the cab of the truck. He fishes out a few with fingers long and thick and the holds the rest of the bag over to you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at it. You turn your face away and put your hand over your mouth. You think you might vomit again, but Joel’s furrowed brow, his telltale sign of anxiety, appears unbidden in your mind. Nothing’s wrong, really, nothing is, so you hold it in.

You hear him give the bag a little shake. “Hello? Are you gonna take some?”

You manage to look back over at him, but can’t open your mouth lest the scent hits your taste buds. You shake your head mutely.

He frowns. “You have to eat something.”

“Not now,” You wave away, like your insides aren’t churning.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Ellie declares, swooping in to snatch the bag and chomping loudly on her prize.

—

“What is that? Over there?” Ellie sticks her head between the two of you in the front to point over the front dash. There’s a strange movement in the trees, a foreign shape marring the landscape. As you get closer, it comes into view. Two figures sway back and forth amongst the trees.

“Drive,” you breathe. “Keep going.”

“What is it?” Ellie demands, a current of panic running thick through her voice. “What’s—”

“Stop,” Joel says harshly. “Ellie, don’t look.” He presses his foot firmly to the peddle, but he can’t drive anywhere but past them. Bile rises in your throat. You hear him swear softly when the girl clearly refuses, but you can’t make yourself look away, either.

The image burns into your mind long after you’ve passed them, and you’ve crossed state lines, and the sun has set. Two bodies, suspended from rope tied round their necks. One is a young girl, small body, youthful cheeks, hanging dead from a tree. The body next to her is her older carbon copy, it must be her mother. They dangle in the wind.

Ellie finds her voice, however hoarse, sometime later. “We should have stopped.”

Joel grunts. “No time.”

Your mouth is dry. You say nothing.

Ellie sniffs in the backseat, and you can’t help but feel that it’s another mark against you.

-

You’re so fucking tired of this shit. Every day’s the same, you wake up and think you’re gonna hurl. You smell anything other than clean air and feel the same. You almost can’t remember what it feels like to be not-nauseous, to be free in your body and have it do the things you want it to do.

You just want to feel something good, anything ever again, so you push Joel down in the backseat early one morning while Ellie still sleeps outside and cover his mouth with yours. He don't complain, seemingly content to lie back against the ripped plastic seats and massage the skin at your hips with his thumbs. You sigh into him, convince yourself that this is what it felt like before your body betrayed you, before you couldn’t move without the urge to empty your stomach. His tongue moves with yours, against yours, for yours - you don't know. You push your hips down against him, more for yourself, the rough denim of your jeans pressing wickedly between your legs. He drags a rough hand up under your shirt and tugs aside your flimsy bra, squeezing your breast in his hand.

A sore, tugging pain radiates from where his hand squeezes, and you moan into his mouth. He brings his other hand up and squeezes both of your breasts, harder, rolling the tips between his fingers, and you think you might burst. They feel heavier hanging off of you than they ought to, more burdensome than you recall. The pain builds and builds with your panic as he continues to knead - if you tells him it hurts, he’ll stop. You need him not to stop.

You grab his shoulders to pull him up into a sitting position and untangle yourself from him to turn around. You shuck off your jeans as best as you can in the cramped cabin.

You brace yourself against the window, the dawn light just beginning to filter through the trees. His hand slips down to hold you, wet and wanting, and his teeth scrape the top of your spine. “Good?” He asks, like he somehow always does. You want to say no, not good, so bad, but you’re all that’ll make it better, you’re it, I don’t know what’s wrong, but you’re right, please don’t stop —

You don't trust yourself to look back at him. “Yes,” you breathe.

He lines up with you, sweetly mouthing at the strip of skin your neckline exposes. You try to pretend the pain in your chest is gone when he slides into you from behind. This is how he likes to do it — no faces, as many clothes as possible, as few words. He’ll check that you’re okay, and then silently rush to his finish, blessedly pushing you over the end with him. For once, today, you’re grateful for his preference. This way he can’t see the tears you furiously swipe away.

—

You come across a small market store not far from the Missouri border. It doesn’t take long to scope the area out. There aren’t any people, just like there isn’t much food. Some gum and pre-packaged cakes that make Ellie scrunch her nose in distaste are on a bottom shelf in the back, so you throw them in the bag. It’s not much, but you’ve only got crackers and a few cans left in the truck. You’re not so much able to refuse anything. The thought of eating the cakes sends your stomach for a spiral, and you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment. Not here. Not now.

Ellie notices, of course. “Woah… are you okay?”

You force your eyes open and give her a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah. Just dizzy. Let’s get going.”

Right as you’re about to leave, another truck screeches out of the trees and into the parking lot. The headlights shine through the glass door straight into your eyes. Joel sucks in a breath. The truck pulls to a stop not far from yours and four men get out, all covering their faces, one with a machine gun pointed towards the sky.

“Fuck,” you whisper, Joel grabbing your arm and whisking you to the back before you finish speaking. Ellie’s already crouched down behind an empty shelf, her lips set in grim determination but her grip on her pack shaking.

Joel taps you to get your attention, jerking his head towards a back door. He moves slowly, gesturing for you and Ellie to follow. The shift of his jeans and the crack of his knees make your heart beat even faster. The bell above the door rings and heavy footsteps follow into the space. The three of you freeze, and through the gaps in the metal shelving, you see them.

Tall, brutish. All four armed, and deadly. Their neanderthal brays pierce your eardrums.

“Who’s here?” Calls one while the others cackle and titter. Right, the truck. They would have seen it.

“Come out, come out…” One of them jokes, knocking over a display by the door with unnecessary grandiose.

Ellie clutches onto your sleeve, her wide eyes begging you for an answer. Joel’s the one that gives it to her. He points at you and Ellie, then down at the ground. You stay. He points to himself as he pulls his rifle around his front, then over to where the mean are kicking around the front counter. I go. He locks eyes with you and nods his head to Ellie, then the back door. Get her out of here.

You nod, a calm determination washing over you, dampening your racing heart. You grasp Ellie’s hand in your own and count silently in your head as he sneaks towards the Raiders on bended knee, though you’re not sure what for. He starts to lift his gun, your signal to pounce on the back door, when suddenly a tidal wave of nausea pours over you, dousing you from head to toe, swirling your insides and turning the room upside down. You don’t stand when you’re supposed to, not when there’s shouting and gunshots and Ellie yelling and tugging you towards the exit. It’s hard to see, it’s hard to breathe. All you can feel is the acid rising to your lips.

The three of you barely make it out alive.

-

He slams his foot on the gas petal and the tires screech as you careen out of the parking lot. You stay turned around watching the world disappear behind you, ignoring Ellie’s eyes that bounce between your face and the trail of dust you leave behind. You fly down the road, faster than he’s dared to go before. After several miles, you let yourself collapse back into your seat, facing the front. You let out a breath, trying to focus on a single point on the dashboard in front of you, trying to quell the dizziness, this sensation that the world is spinning off of its axis.

“I don’t think they’re following us,” Ellie supplies. She’s quiet for a minute, then adds, “they won’t, right?”

Joel don't reply. You chance a glance over at him to find him fuming, his jaw locked in place and his eyes glued to the road. His arms bulge like they do when he’s tensed up and not even realized it. His grip on the steering wheel threatens to snap the plastic.

His ire fans the flames of your own. Something wild in you pushes you forward, nudges you to ruffle the lion’s mane, some alien urge that you’ve no name for. “Think we’ve got bigger fish to fry in the car with us,” you mutter.

You can hear his jaw pop. “Oh, like a delinquent that can’t stand on her own two feet?” You flinch like you’ve been stung. You want to sting him, too. “What, you’re just gonna pass out every time we’re in a life-or-death situation?”

“I didn’t pass out,” you snap. “I just got dizzy. It wasn’t a big deal, you asshole.”

“Until it was,” he seethes, still careening down the road. “Until you had to run, with her, and you couldn’t fuckin’ see straight. You didn’t think to say something beforehand?”

“What would you have done differently, then?” You hiss, suddenly overwhelmed, not ready to be on guard again so soon. He’s saying things that make sense. You’re losing. Again. “Asked them nicely to leave us alone?”

“Might’a left you in the truck, might’a had a different plan if I knew the person I was relying on was gonna choke, fucking Christ —”

Your heart clenches at the word rely so you scoff to hide it. “Fuck off.” What if he hadn’t been able to take them down, to get you all out of there? What if you had cost Ellie her life? You’re raising your voice and you know that won’t help anything, but your vision is still swimming and adrenaline is still coursing through you and you don't know what else to do with that combination.

“I will not!” Joel’s shouting, and you start. He’s never shouted at you, not once, not even on that first trip to Lincoln when you almost got caught sneaking back into the QZ, not even when you survived and Tess didn’t, not even when you made him give himself to you over and over. His foot is letting up off the gas petal and the truck slows down, like he knows if he puts his foot down the way he wants he won’t be able to stop and he’ll drive you all off the edge of the world. “You got sick a few weeks back, too. What, you got bit or somethin’ too? Think I’m worth tellin’ about an aneurysm, a heart attack—”

“It’s only sometimes,” You snap, shaking with rage or sickness, you don't know. “I’ll be fine in thirty fucking minutes. It keeps happening.”

His foot is on the brake, a sudden screech against the road as the truck skids to a stop. You jerk back in your seat. “What the fuck, Joel?” Ellie exclaims.

“What are you doing?” You hiss. “We need to get further away—"

He stares straight ahead at the road, chest heaving, face impassible. “How long?” He breathes.

You glares. “How long what?”

“How long has it been goin’ on?”

“I don’t fucking know, Joel, a couple weeks? I—”

He doesn’t listen to the rest of your sentence. He’s out of the truck, slamming the door behind him before you can blink.

You glance back at Ellie, who looks deeply uncomfortable, and sigh. “Gimme a second.”

You unbuckle and follow him outside, a few yards into the treeline, urging your shaky legs onward. “Joel, get back in the fucking truck, this is insane —”

“You won’t eat.” His interruption is pained as he stops in his tracks, face pointedly looking out at the trees, not at you, not at you. “You’re not eatin’. And there’s the nausea, then soreness, dizziness -"

“What’s your fucking point?”

He takes a moment to respond, jaw working itself to bits. When he finally turns to look at you, you realize his expression isn’t as stoic as you thought. “When did you have your last period?”

Your heart stops beating in your chest. You sneer to hide it.

“Girls who don’t eat don’t get their period, dumbass-”

“When?” He demands.

Your veins are full of icy frost, not blood, blood would move and cycle and make you feel alive, this just makes you feel still, frozen, gone. You close your eyes. “I - I don’t - I don’t know. I don’t know. But it hasn’t come, for a while. It hasn’t come.”

After a moment of silence you hear the sound of Joel moving back to the truck, closing his door more gently behind him this time. You don’t remember your ghost feet floating back to your side, not wanting to find out what would happen if you kept him waiting too long. Your fingers shake as you buckle back in. Ellie, for maybe the first time since you’ve met her, doesn’t say a word. The world begins to move forward again. You grip the door next to you so tightly you think your fingers might fall off. You don’t remember falling asleep like that, but when you do it’s a sweet, welcome relief.

—

When you wake up, it’s dark out, but the road outside is wider than you expected it to be, having stayed mostly on backroads and service paths. The only light comes from the truck’s headlights and the moon shining up above.

“Where are we?” You murmur, stretching out the aching muscles of your back. Ellie seems to have joined you in slumber, slumped awkwardly against the door behind you.

Joel’s hand slides over the top of the steering wheel. “Nearby Kansas City,” he offers.

You become more clearly awake at this. “The QZ? Why do you wanna head so close to it?”

He rubs the steering wheel again, drawing from it some kind of power to speak. “Figure we stash the truck somewhere, enroll at the gate as refugees. Get what we need, get out.”

“What we need?” You’re still confused.

“A doctor,” he says. “It’s nearby and you need a doctor. So.”

You’re at a loss. You can’t keep up with the implications, with the unspoken, terrifying truth of the question he’s asking you, he’s been asking you. You open your mouth, but the sounds are weak to your own ears. “But — it’ll take too — Wyoming, we have to — and Ellie — and Tommy —”

“We’ll get to Wyoming,” he promises. “First we check on you.”

Something bubbles up in your chest and you shift in your seat, too afraid to ask but too afraid to not know. “Are you angry?” You venture, keeping your eyes on what little of the road you can see in front of you.

You can see him puff air through his lips from the corner of your vision. “I do generally like to know about things before they became an immediate issue, so next time —”

“No,” You say too quickly, and he stops, looking over at you. “I mean, were you mad about - you know, if I am” — you choke on your own spit, can’t bring yourself to say the word — “If I am, are you angry with me?”

Your voice sounds too small to your own ears, this isn’t the You you know, but you don't remember how to be that girl anyways, don't remember how to survive without him. If he’s not with you, and if what he thinks is happening is happening, this could be it for you, this could be his final straw, too much baggage, not giving enough, not —

“You, what? Listen, no, I don’t —” He takes his foot off the gas. The truck slowly but surely rolls to a stop, so starkly contrasting the abruptness of its earlier halt. He shifts the car to park, not even bothering to pull off the road like he usually does when you stop for the night. You can feel him looking at you but you can’t bring yourself to look back.

You sit like that in the quiet for a minute before he speaks. “I’m afraid,” he confesses to you like he worries the night sky will hear his secret. “I’m afraid and I’m sorry that I made you think I was angry. I’m not angry. You ain’t done nothin’ wrong. You understand? Nothin’."

You don't realize you’ve begun to cry until his arms are reaching over the center console to pull you into his lap. A mess of limbs and you find yourself between his solid frame and the steering wheel, his arms holding you like they do when you sleep, but this feels different, this feels tighter, this feels dangerously close to touching the reason you shake, the reason you burrow yourself into him at night.

“We’ll be alright,” he promises so fiercely it startles your eyes dry. “You’ll be alright. I promise.”

-

It’s late at night in the QZ a few years earlier, dim street light beaming through the dusty window. You sit with your back against the rotting drywall, Joel with his against the couch. You’re waiting for Tess to get back with a drop from a new partner, something she said felt “promising,” but that she wanted to handle with caution. The two of you would always listen to her, so you’ve stayed behind, but you’ll also always worry for her, so you stay awake into the early hours of the morning just to see the promise of her wellbeing slip through the doorway.

You’re picking at your fingernails, something Katie would always turn her nose up at you for, “makes ‘em look ugly,’ she’d say, but everything’s ugly here so you might as well match. Katie’s on your mind just as much as Tess - she’s been gone from your shared residence more often since Brandon died, you think she can’t stand to see the hallways you once all ran through together as children. You worry for her, too. Her great love for a woman named Marlene and ceaseless ardor for Marlene’s cause put her in more danger everyday. She’d do anything for the Fireflies, plant any bomb. Maybe even the one the killed Brandon. Neither of you are sure, and you definitely never talk about it.

“Will you quit?” Joel’s gruff voice startles you out of your spiraling reverie, and you realize blood has started to seep from around some of your cuticles. “Fuckin’ — fidgeting’s makin’ me nervous.”

“Sorry,” you say, not really meaning it but feeling sheepish nonetheless. Joel intimidates you; he’s quiet, and strong, and definitely beautiful, and maybe knows something about life, maybe too much about life, maybe that’s why he’s so dour all the time. However, sitting here on the floor, waiting for your shared comrade’s return, you feel emboldened or delirious from the witching hour. You open your mouth before you can stop yourself.

“Didn’t know you got nervous.”

He scoffs abruptly, a sound you might almost have called a laugh in another life, and runs his fingers over his mouth absentmindedly. The streetlamp glow slants across his cheekbones just so, and in this dilapidated, peeling living room, he looks almost otherworldly. “‘M always nervous.”

He doesn’t say anything more, settling back into his friend The Silence, and you don’t believe him. He doesn’t look nervous, doesn’t pluck at his own feathers like you or move to fill the time.

“About Tess?” You venture, high off of his conversation, elated at his breath expelled in your direction. It feels like something, it feels like anything, and you’ve been dying - Katie’s never around anymore, the other girls at the food bank are even more dried up and sullen than you, and Tess, beautiful Tess with her clever wit and grounding roots isn’t here - you need more.

Joel casts you a sidelong glance. You suddenly wonder if you remembered to run your fingers through your hair this morning. It surely looks a mess. You go back to picking at your nails. The blood feels warm and soothing. “Yeah,” he acquiesces, eyebrows raising slightly. “But she can handle herself.”

Your heart races. “I know! I didn’t mean to say she couldn’t. I just —”

He holds up a hand to quell your ramble, and you crumble to his command. “I know. We still worry.”

You exhale long, arduous. “Yeah,” you agree softly.

He taps his finger on his knees, joins you in your fidgeting realm, his feathers pluck, his callous peels. “Don’t you got someone waitin’ for you?” He says suddenly, and you know he knows these things about you, but it’s a shock to hear him acknowledge it.

“My sister. And no. She doesn’t come home much these days. ‘Sides, I’d rather be here anyways.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “What’s she doin’ away at this hour? Isn’t she younger?”

The hair on the back of your neck stands up, and for a moment, your hackles raise. “She’s a grown woman. That’s her business, not mine.” As if it’s your fault that she’s joined up with a vigilante guerilla. As if it’s your fault that you don’t know where she sleeps these days, or if she gets enough to eat besides the times she comes to pick up the extra cans you still steal her. She is younger than you, he’s right, and you tried to provide, tried to take care of her the way your mother had tried to before she passed, before the outbreak, even. You were only 8 when the world ended, and your mother had died just a few years later. The only thing that had kept you and Katie out of military school was the older woman across the way who lied and said she was watchin’ over you. It hadn’t worked for Brandon, though. He was too young for anyone to care for, and was rocked right into the deadly cradle of FEDRA.

Joel pauses for a second, quietly contemplative, before nodding. “Suppose you’re right.”

Your breath drops back down into your stomach. If there’s anything you and Joel Miller would ever shake on, it would be leaving others to mind their own.

You wonder what his life must have been like before. What sorrow left him this way, bewildered and cold and fortified as the QZ itself.

“When did Tess say she was getting back again?” You say to fill the space, to fan the coals of a conversation long dwindled.

“Said she wasn’t sure.” He’s annoyed, you can tell. “Said it could take the whole night, or longer. Were you even listenin’?”

You purse your lips, and the apology slips from you without your own permission. A longing to stand your ground far outrun by the desperation for his voice, for his grave countenance continued. “Sorry. I don’t remember things like I’m supposed to.”

Your voice catches in your throat at the last few words, and you have to look away from him, have to blink a little faster than perhaps is natural. You’re not just talking about Tess’s debrief, you know.

You don’t expect it when he replies. “I remember it all.” A quiet confession to the night draft through the pane, shaking the dust on the counter. You look back to him, eyes wide, and his tongue peeks out to wet his cracked lips. It’s like he knows, he knows what you meant, and he can see right through you and this flimsy excuse for skin you wear, this flimsy excuse of a girl you are. He sees you, and you feel like the recipient of a crown jewel, a treasure held close to your heart for this little bit of him that he’s allowed through, this morsel of self that’s scrapped so haggardly to his surface.

His eyes lock with yours, his face set suddenly with a grim determination. “Listen, she’ll be alright. We all will. I mean it.”

You nod, his earnestness permeating your jellyfish shroud, spineless, maybe he could prop you up. Maybe he’s doing it now. You turn back to your nail beds to shred until the early morning sun brings Tess home with it.

[piratefalls]

welcome back to the latest edition of biweekly fic recs! as always, mind the tags, if you can't leave a nice comment don't leave one at all, and happy reading!

masterlist.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam

Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

All the Ocean was Sleeping by @sparklepocalypse

The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention.

cause you're a classic, and i'm reckless by @firenati0n

“I've, actually, uh. I've never done this before.” At this, Henry stops short, takes a second as his gaze moves up and to the left, trying to recall something. “I've seen your films. You most certainly have done intimate scenes.” Alex clears his throat. He hopes his nerves aren't completely obvious, the slight waver in his voice about to give him away. “Yeah, well. Never with a man, so. Not at this scale, anyway.” “Would it help to, er, practice?" Henry winces a little as he says it, which does not inspire confidence. But Alex is shocked nonetheless. What the fuck?

Over Land and Sea by SatinBirds

Alex and Henry come from very different worlds, and still, they manage to find each other.

Clean Slate by smc_27

“Henry.” Pez comes over, puts both hands on Henry’s cheeks and looks him dead in the eye. “You are not a sad man who’s gotten dumped. You’re in the prime of your life, and I quite desperately need you to act like it.” “The prime of my life,” Henry scoffs, more incredulous than questioning. “I’ve just gotten out of a 15 year relationship, endured a divorce, am suffering an almost impressive case of writer’s block, and your hands are like bloody icicles.” Pez grins, doesn’t take his hands away. “Explain to me how this is my prime. Please.” Pez tilts his head, and sounds entirely serious when he says, “Literally anything can happen from here.”

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by @alasse9

That day at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, Alex comes across the very same Prince Henry who just dismissed him having a panic attack in a bathroom. The choice Alex makes then has ripple effects neither of them could have ever expected. What's the story like, when they actually are friends all along? “So, you’re going back to England tonight, and you’ll spend the next three days pretending you two are the closest and best of friends until we can put this mess behind us.” And there are reasons he hasn’t told anybody this, good reasons, even though he’s sure June and Nora saw through him ages ago. Faced with his mom’s disappointment, though, and with the realization that the entire world apparently thinks he hates Henry and would willingly shove him into a fucking cake, he can’t stay quiet. “But we are friends,” he says, vehement and serious. “We have been for years. He’s—he’s probably my best friend, actually, along with Nora.”

thoughts of you consume by yrsonpurpose

Henry sees Alex appear on the red carpet in a blue suit that screams sex on legs and is ready to throw away all attempts at concealing their secret relationship in the name of dropping to his knees at the first available opportunity.

eyes on me by matherine

Alex’s hips buck back against Henry’s mouth the moment his tongue does more than tease, and Henry squeezes his hip in gentle consternation. But before he can say anything, Alex is already rambling. “Sorry, I’m — I’m sorry, I know you said not to move, and I’m trying, I — I’m trying to be good, I promise,” he blurts, voice shaking ever so slightly from something that certainly doesn’t sound like pleasure, resolutely refusing to turn his head so that he can meet Henry’s gaze from where he’s positioned behind him. Henry’s heart aches. “Alex — love, it’s alright. Where’s your mind?” Or: Sometimes, Alex needs a distraction. Something to take the edge off, to scrub away at the stress of the day. Some days, it works better than others. 

the evolution of intimacy by Poutini

There’s no spontaneity anymore. One might think this boring. That the novelty had worn off. The spark snuffed. Absolutely not

Want Me by OrchidScript

Henry had always been weak for a nice smile, but his was impossible to ignore. Blame it on summer heat and a fresh flush in his cheeks. Blame it on sunset painting the outdoor bar sweltering, romantic colors. Blame it on two healthy glasses of albariño thrumming in his bloodstream, or the good music floating on the air. Henry could blame it on anything liked if he thought long and hard about it, but that didn’t change much at the end. The core remained the same: he had been gone from the jump. -- Henry and Alex hook up on a vacation in Spain. Henry falls a bit deeper.

fill my lungs with sweetness by @priincebutt

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor wakes up at 3 AM on his birthday to an empty bed. What could Alex possibly be getting up to at 3 AM the night before his birthday? The possibilities are endless.

got myself in quite a tangle by coffeecatsme

"It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle." "Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch. "Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

The Forces of Chance and Coincidences by @stellarm

Bad weather leads to a late flight that leads to no one being where they wanted to be, but maybe everyone was where they needed to be.

I've never felt safer (than when I'm with you) by viciouslyqueer

Alex takes the bag and opens it slowly, careful not to rip it, and gasps quietly as he sees what’s inside. “H, you didn’t…” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, Henry’s chest warm against his back. “Do you like it?” Henry asks in a whisper, resting his chin on Alex’s shoulder. Alex doesn’t know what to say. Gingerly, like he might ruin it with even the smallest touch, he takes out the silky fabric and holds it up in front of them. It’s a gorgeous dress, fancy too, in a deep red color with thin straps and an open back. It’s long, almost touching the floor even as Alex holds it up and has a slit on the left side that would probably end a little above Alex’s knee.

An Amateur's Guide to Professional Gift-Giving by anincompletelist

Alex, a former-law-student-taking-some-time-off turned professional part-time gift giver, is tasked with finding a gift for the most high profile client he's ever worked with, both in and out of the world of law. It turns out finding the perfect gift for the Prince of Wales might be easier than he'd anticipated.

Love At First Bark by everwitch

“I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

don't let me get drunk again by headabovethewater

Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass. Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

The Beginner's Guide to Floristry by clottedcreamfudge

As if there's anything romantic about it; as if it's not the most humiliating death Alex can imagine. This is why he doesn't do relationships. This is why he never will. The risk, as far as he fucking sees it, is too great. -- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible.

Everything you take, you make it better. So go on, take forever by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

It's 2024, and nobody knows they're engaged. But they will, just as soon as Alex can decide what to wear to his birthday dinner. Henry has an idea and a special gift to match.

false pretenses by rizcriz

Henry spins around, glaring at Alex. “For christs sake,” He hisses, holding a hand out between them. “Can we just not? I do not have the capacity to pretend to hate you today.” Alex splutters as Henry turns on his heel and starts to walk away. He stares after him helplessly. “Pretend?” After a beat, he starts to follow after him, “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Three years of breathing down each others necks, fighting every time they come in contact with each other. And if Henry is saying every single thing on his end has been pretend, Alex Claremont-Diaz is going to have a fucking breakdown. Because he has been harboring this stupid fucking crush and burying it beneath false antagonism, meeting Henry where he’s at, for three years, and if Henry is implying that they’re both faking it— -- or, Alex learns better.

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one) by @taste-thewaste

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

coming on fast like good dreams do by cricketnationrise

When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face. “Run that by me again?” he asks faintly. “I need your help.” “Right…” “I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug. Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists, whether you're a reader or writer!

tagging @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift @enablelove

[kitkat-the-muffin]

KNOCK KNOCK *kicks down your door* time to talk about Cloutchase Vol 5!

Be sure to check out the previous installments: [1][2][3][4]

Good evening Tumblr! It took two days to play through Volume 5 this time because my friends and I also read through Discord's Holiday Party and the bonus room. I'll make a separate post about the former soon, and I will link it here once it's done. BUT LETS LOOK AT THE MAIN GAME FIRST!

Here are your usual two screenshots for enticement:

Remember to play the game yourself before clicking the Read More!

I, of course, played this with my usual friend, who I will simply refer to as Ams. I play through all the routes with her and it's been a genuine delight. I was also joined by my other friend, who I will call Knight. I have posted about him in the Cloutchase tag before, as I have used two of his messages as meme material for both Ao3 and Wikipedia. Thus, he has voiced both of them in this week's playthrough hahah

I immediately noticed right off the bat that Ao3's books are stacked in the colors of the Homestuck troll blood colors. Rust, Bronze, Gold, Lime, Olive, Jade, Teal, Cerulean, Indigo, Purple, Violet, and Fuchsia. There's probably a Candy Red beneath his palms as well. I understood that reference. Anyway, I absolutely love his gimmick of having tropes follow him around, that feels like both a dream and a nightmare. We all love reading fic but we never wanna live it

I wanted to include this photo cause I just love the art. Angst angst angst angst angst! But also dang User got some sick canines wtf-

This line made me have to explain Troll Jegus to my non-homestuck friends, how freaking dare you. Ams got it faster than Knight though, he's very slow on the uptake-

I know I put this image in the post already but I just have to say, Ams and I saw this and were like "oh noooooooooooooooooooooo" and Knight was a clueless bystander who has never read fanfic in his life and sat there like "E for Everyone :3" the poor soul

I absolutely love how eloquent Ao3 speaks and writes. I know not all fics are as fancy as this, but I greatly relate to writing with all my LA class lessons in mind. Also, I think this is Imgur's first actual sprite appearance, so that's neat! I could be wrong though, I don't remember if User has even properly met her before. Ao3's writing sprite is so cute btw

Love the new Kik characterization too. This may be fic, but I bet it's canon (delusional). WAIT IS THAT HATSUNE MIKU-

By far the best introduction of any character so far. If you've seen any of my posts with Knight in them, you know he was DELIGHTED to see this (his username on the Cloutchase Discord server is literally "Wikipedia Firearms Broker"). He did however complain that this gun does not have a scope, or something idr

Hahah uh how did he know the grid is my laptop wallpaper- (it's been my wallpaper for like two years now lol, or whenever this screenshot was made available to me)

Very ominous Fandom, love to see it. I will admit, I used both Wiki and Fandom to find resources for my final essay this past semester. I just used them to find sources not as sources I promise- uh anyway this character design slaps and I love evil old women

When Knight read out Wiki's dialogue, he actually said the full name of the gun out loud instead of just "AR-15." I'd type it here but I don't remember it, I was not blessed with the firearm hyperfixation like he. Anyway when Quotev asked what our favorite emoticon was all of us said colon three. Quotev is amazing here btw, she was a highlight of the route for me

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE-

ON AJ'S BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@applejuiceyjuice-art get clocked /j (lmk if u want me to remove the @)

AM I MS. BLOG RUNNER'S SECRET LOVE CHILD??????

Okay so after getting all of Wiki's endings I went back to see if the board changed AND IT DID and that was by far the FUNNIEST thing of the entire route. Makes me wonder if all the other route bad ends are also supposed to be here or not

Last thing I wanna put here, AJ you gotta show me ur sims cloutchase house I would like to witness the chaos. Also, there's a lot more devs in the dev room! That's so nice to see, I'm glad ur team is growing!

Sorry that I haven't been very active in the community, college has been kicking my butt and all that, but you guys are genuinely doing a great job and I love playing this game with my friends! Heck, this game even saved my friend's life because she agreed to play Instagram's route with me the day she was considering ending herself, so thank you for that, too

I'm super interested in how the Admin lore is going to play out in future volumes, as well as being able to meet more sites! I'd say Wiki's was my favorite of this volume because of the ARG-type vibes (well, not really an ARG, more like conspiracy hunting iykwim), but I loved Ao3's fanfiction writing activity and read through all 8 stories with my friends together :3

Like I said at the top of the post, we also played Discord's holiday party, so I'll make a smaller post about that later. It'll be linked at the top when it's done, but if I remember I'll put it down here too

The bonus room heavily implied that 4Chan's route is being replaced with Pinterest, and I can only assume it's because of the recent website crash. I still hope to get a 4Chan route in the future, though, but that's all for now!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all in the next one!

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

SWERVE ACTUALLY TAGGED A REAL SHIBARI PLACE IN THE PICTURE TOO

CAN U GIVE ME LIKE A RANDOM NSFW HEADCANON ABOUT SWERVE IM THIRSTING BADLY FOR HIM 🤤🤤

Leather and Lace (18+)

Summary: Reader finds out about Swerves thing for Shibari and decides to add her own twist on it

Warnings: Shibari, oral (M receiving), P in V sex, orgasms, cream pie, pure dirty smut, 18 +

Main Masterlist

When I found out about Swerve's secret Shibari kink I was not surprised. Ever since that Texas death match with hangman, he had changed. He was obsessed with pain, he wanted to try new things in the bedroom, things I would have never done. I still couldn't believe he had me pour hot wax on his chest, wouldn't that hurt?! Anyway, I had a little surprise in-store for Swerve. I had invited him over for the evening and would have my way with him with my own form of Shibari. I would replace the thick ropes with pink silk ribbon. Why? I thought it would be cute, I would get to wrap him like a little present.

***

The moment Swerve stepped into my apartment I could tell he knew something was up. "You are adorable, you got me flowers!" I told Swerve as I greeted him with a kiss, grabbing the red roses from his hand, and placing them in a vase. "Yeah yeah, I know," he said blushing at my words. As I returned from the kitchen after placing the flowers in a vase Swerve disappeared. "Where did you go?" I called out "I'm in your room!" as I entered the room I found Swerve buried under a pile of plushes. "YOU'RE SITTING ON THEM!" I yelled, pushing Swerve out of the way. "Chill woman! How do you even function with all of these stuffed animals in here, no offence but you are literally 30" "Rude, and first of all you know they are here for decoration, I don't sleep with them. You are the only teddy bear I need. Also, you bought me half of these!" Just then I felt something hit me in the head. That bastard was starting a pillow fight. "Oh you're on Mr!" I said as I hit him back with a decorative pillow.

The two of us threw pillows at each other playfully, I got on top of Swerve, pinning him to the mattress so I could get a good shot at him. Just then the two of us locked eyes, and we both felt it. It was like we could read the other's minds, we needed each other and now. He kissed me passionately, the two of us tangled in each other, trying to remove our clothing as fast as possible. "I need you so fucken badly Y/n" Swerve whispered as my ear as he began to place sloppy kisses down my neck. "Wait," I told him as I pushed him off of me "Did I do something wrong, my love? I thought you wanted this?" Swerve said nervously, worry spread all over his face. "No, no, I do want this. I just wanted to try something new. I had it all planned out for later tonight" I could see the mysterious grin spread on his face.

I reached in the bottom drawer and pulled out a roll of pink silk. "What is that for?" Swerve asked curiously. "Well, I know you like shibari and I wanted to try my own twist on it. I don't like ropes, so I was thinking I could tie you up in pink ribbon!" "Pink ribbon? Are you serious?" "Yes! Do you know how strong silk is, it would be simular to the silk handcuffs you got me for my birthday" I could see the confusion on his face but also curiosity "Can I tie you up like a pretty present?" I asked him innocently "Let me be in charge, I will take good care of you!" "Anything for you my love"

Swerve's eyes were dark, filled with love and lust, this would be fun. I took my time, carefully straddling him as I tied the ribbon to his wrists, and then to the bedpost. I then took the remainder and created a Kriss Kross pattern of ribbon along both his arms and chest, making sure to tie a big bow above his navel. "Now would you look at that, don't you look so pretty! I wonder what cowboy would think if he saw you all tied up like this" "Watch it" "What are you gonna do about it? Do you know how tight I tied these, no way you could get out without ripping the bedpost off"

This was going to be fun

I placed delicate kisses from his neck all the way to his inner thighs. He was hard, his cock angry, precum spilling from the tip. I teased him, placing small kisses and kitten licks on his shaft before taking him in my mouth. I could feel Swerve try to get out of my restraints, I was internally thanking my mom for forcing me to be a Girl Scout, the only thing I remembered was how to tie some serious knots. "You're killing me Y/n" Swerve cried out above me in response to how slow I was going. It's not every day I had this man submitting to me, I wanted to take advantage of this moment. I increased my pace, working him until he was about to reach his release. "Please Y/n, this is not funny!" Swerve called out. "What? You can tease me but I can't tease you?" I then straddled Swerve, sinking down on him painfully slow until I bottomed out, taking a minute to compose myself before I began to ride him.

I selfishly fucked myself on him using him like he was a toy. I could feel Swerve's orgasm approaching "Don't even think about cumming, you cum when I say you do. Do you understand" "Yes mam!" I continued to fuck myself on him like my life depended on it, reaching between my thighs to play with my clit. I could feel Swerve trying to break free from the restraints to touch me, I was loving it. "I don't think I can hold it any longer Y/n" Swerve called out "Yes you can baby, just a little longer, I'm almost there," I told him as loosened the restraints on his hips, Swerve then began to thrust up into me, adding to deeper penetration. That sent me over the edge "Cum for me baby" Swerve and I came hard, the two of us sharing an intense orgasm. "Fuck, that was amazing, you need to do that more often!" Swerve praised.

Now I need to think of what to try next

[cardinalvalentino]

i was tagged by angelika @parsleyroot to talk about my favourite characters from my childhood :) thank u dearest <3

gonna go ahead and put the tags up here cause the post will probably be kinda long: @belledamn @gabriestat @dragonji @officiallanxichen @thepromisedbride if you feel like it <3

these are all book characters cause i was raised by very anti tv and any kind of technology parents so i just read a lot... that being said theres a lot of things i dont remember super well so the list probably wont be very long :) also its not like a ranked list its just in order of what comes to mind first

robin hood - i just really liked robin hood i think when i was in preschool i had this illustrated book and i was just captivated by living in the woods as a mischievous outlaw... the illustrations of their hideout were so charming with the treehouse and tibetan bridges and all that.... as a little kid who spent a lot of times in the woods with friends that was kind of the dream... my father made me a bow and some arrows and taught me to shoot and id just pretend i was robin hood with my merry band of outlaws. side effect of this i did climb trees to shoot arrows at actual people

gawain from arthuriana - oh yeah baby the gawain thing dates back to childhood. i really liked him i thought his sun powers were swag and since of course the stories i read versions of at the time or was told by people were not the darker ones where gawain is the evil guy i now know and love i just really liked how he was charming and chivalrous and all that jazz. cue me attacking random people with a stick (sword) in an entirely unchivalrous manner

jo march and laurie from little women - i cant really choose a favourite between the two, but i really loved their friendship, the contrast between jo's brashness and lauries sensibility, their shared intellectual interests.... i dont know they just kind of meant the world to me i really love little women :)

the beaver from my dads bedtime stories. also the ibex from my dads bedtime stories - when i was a kid my father every night told me like an episode of this really long story with a lot of characters and places and geography and stuff, all the characters are animals and it starts with the animals living around this lake and then gradually they travel and meet other animals etc. there were things that happened every year like they put on a play or things like that, and my dad also taught me a lot of random things through those stories like if the characters were going sailing hed explain how a sailboat works, or how hemp is made into ropes and cloth, etc. and now for the past like decade or so he has been writing them down (he remembers word by fucking word its crazy) and making them into books and gifting a new volume to me and my brother at christmas every year. i believe its actually fully possible to purchase them on amazon lol but im not doxxing myself like that. anyways beavers were my favourite animals and he was super crafty and i always loved mountains, snow, climbing and such so of course big fan of the ibex he was living the dream

ernő nemecsek from the paul street boys - i really loved that book and i have to be honest i dont remember much of it so i dont remember too well why i really liked this guy? i think he was kind of the underdog like he was weak and the other boys picked on him. and well hahaha lets just say primary school me could relate

peter pan - i also wanted to play forever on an island with my friends. all the various metaphors the story was supposed to convey were fully lost on me cause i wanted to play forever with my friends and never grow up just like peter pan

geronimo stilton - i fucking love that mouse. the realest mouse to ever do it. i also really liked tea and a bunch of side characters like the secret agent from the ruby theft story

george from the famous five - well. you know.

WAIT EDIT. I FORGOT. COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS HONOURABLE MENTIONS: tex willer, astérix, tintin, lupo alberto, mickey mouse, eega beeva also from mickey mouse

if uve made it to the end comment a tree emoji. just kidding but wow this was kinda long... and also really revealing about my character and personality lol.... ok bye i love u