#Anyway I should been sleeping right now...

[specialgradefckr]

tw: explicit content, incest, satoru/reader, satoru/suguru, shoko/reader, codependency, very twisted relationship dynamics, implied abusive/neglectful childhood

suguru had never known what to make of the two of you.

satoru the six eyes and his twin sister. satoru who was his best friend, and you, the girl who looks just like him.

satoru who let suguru bend him over and fuck him until he cried, only to roll off the bed, pulling out his phone.

god. he knew satoru was a dick, but this?

it hurts more than it should. they'd never talked about it, never even called each other friends. he should have figured this wasn't anything special.

but what the fuck is satoru doing on his phone?

"satoru?" he says, trying to sound casual.

everything has to be casual with satoru. low-key. being with him feels like he's coaxing a wild animal. get too close, and he might just bolt.

bolt, only to hit him out of the blue days later with a picture of a candy and a smarmy comment about suguru's taste in food. or his hair. or his power as a sorcerer, or whatever was going through that malfunctioning brain of his.

god, why the fuck does he even like him again?

satoru turns back so suguru can see his smirking face.

god. that was why. the face of a fucking angel, a smile that made his heart skip. why did it have to be on this asshole?

"what, suguru? you feelin' lonely?" satoru drawls.

it's a question he knows the answer to. keep it chill. don't show your hand. don't get too close or he'll get scared.

it aches. "shut up," he says, "i'm just curious who you're texting right after i pulled my dick out of you."

he smirks back when satoru pauses, hesitates.

"who's this person you're thinking about right after you cum?" suguru drawls. he's proud of how distant he manages to sound.

satoru's eyes dart towards him, all ice blue and piercing.

"nobody," he says, setting his phone face down while he pulls on his pants.

he blinks. "what are you..."

satoru ignores his question, strolling out towards the door while waving goodbye. "later, su-gu-ru~"

"but this is -"

before his eyes can furrow, satoru closes the door behind him.

"...your room."

he'd thought that it meant something different this time. satoru always left right after they fucked, he never stayed.

but this is satoru's room. so he'd either kick suguru out, or let him stay.

he hadn't been prepared for him to just... leave. his own room.

what's wrong with him? seriously.

suguru glances at the downturned phone. flips it over.

nee-chan~ (2)

his sister? it beeps.

nee-chan~ (3)

no, don't. i'll ask shoko

you'll ask shoko to do what? satoru has a lock, so he can't see.

seriously, i mean it

after a moment, there's another message.

are you ignoring me, or just busy with him?

don't come over. slut

...what?

the message notification disappears along with the message.

suguru gets a strange feeling.

he looks around satoru's room. he finds some girl's clothes.

does satoru even like girls? they could be yours. he's seen you in his room before.

the strange feeling starts to get. stranger.

there's condoms in here, too, which is weird because satoru has never asked him to use them. or used them himself. he whined when suguru suggested it, actually. asked if he was scared of getting knocked up.

ugh. stupid, insufferable, endearing little shit. he wants to have him in his arms right now.

but it doesn't mater what suguru wants. satoru just left. like he always does, sooner or later.

picking up the phone, he makes his way out. down the hall, towards the girls' dorm.

shoko is already there when he gets there. holding out an arm to stop him.

he raises a brow.

"she's sleeping."

"how do you know i'm here for her?"

shoko shrugs. "why else would you be? saw gojo go in there. anyways, they're asleep now."

"can't be. i was with him just a few minutes ago."

the look she gives him is... strange. everything about this situation feels... off.

he pushes past her, and she sighs.

there's no noise inside, at least. he looses a curse to twist the lock on the door, turn it form the inside.

and it's surprising because - god, what was he expecting?

you're there, curled up beneath the blanket with satoru laying behind you, arms wrapped around you and holding you close.

it's romantic, sure. intimate.

but nothing weird. well, nothing too weird. satoru's always been weird, and you're just like him, so of course you're both weird together. you've always been close. you're his twin sister. what is he thinking?

with a toss, he lets satoru's phone fall onto the floor.

he avoids shoko's gaze as he closes the door and stalks off.

(he doesn't see her anxious glance at the door.)

"he's gone," satoru whispers to you, brushing his thumb over your nipple as you bite your lip.

"shut up," you hiss, putting a hand over his. "i can't believe you did that. why did he follow you? what did you say to him?"

his other hand, threaded beneath your panties, wriggles playfully.

"whaaat? you said you wanted to go to bed. i didn't want to make you wait." he sighs dramatically, "i'm the strongest sorcerer, you know. i need my rest~"

and without you, there is no rest.

as soon as your body is against his, it's like all the tension leaves him. you're there, with him, and everything is all right.

all his worries fade away when he can wrap his arms around you and feel you embrace him in return. mind blank at the soothing sound of your voice. never mind the words you're saying.

"yeah, but do you need to do... this." you say fruitlessly. "you could have come later."

"didn't wanna come later," he kisses your shoulder, "wanted to see you now."

you wriggle in his arms, too wide and too strong to escape, even if you wanted to.

it's enraging. it's gratifying. you don't know what it is, and never have.

he must have been fucking suguru. and after he got his, he came to you.

should you laugh, or cry?

"i could have asked shoko." you mumble almost miserably.

but a sigh escapes you as he fondles your breast. satoru always knows how to make you feel good.

maybe not as good as shoko does, but you're still nice enough not to say that to his face.

"what? to sleep with you?" satoru scoffs, "you can't sleep without me, either."

neither of you have ever slept alone, not a single night in your life.

not even when you were deathly ill and the clan begged the precious six eyes to stay away and not catch your sickness.

satoru had stayed by your side the entire while. held your hand while your head pounded and your body ached. wiped your tears when you cried.

because you were very young, and very sick, in more pain than you'd ever felt before. you had honestly thought you were going to die.

there had been no servants, no mother or father or caretaker. only satoru holding you close, lifting you to drink some water and medicine. telling you that you couldn't die. he wouldn't allow it.

and to your child's mind, that had been reassuring. your brother never left you. your fever broke and you were okay, just like he said you would be.

now, you know better. now you know satoru would lay in bed with people who weren't you, even if he always came back (for now).

now you knew what it was like to have someone else by your side.

(but was it enough? could it ever be enough? could it ever be what you have with him?)

"i'll never know until i try." you turn in his arms to face him, and he allows it.

blue eyes. beautiful, beautiful blue. a pretty face. almost as pretty as shoko's.

you've been learning, lately. you used to think of the mole on her cheek as an imperfection, the cigarette smoke a bad habit.

now? you still think it's a bad habit, but the mole is charming. and you don't hate the smell as much because shoko took you out shopping for perfume.

she asked you which one you liked the most, and bought it for herself. she wears it every friday when you have your girls night out with utahime.

where you get drunk enough to make out with her until she brings you back to the dorm, kissing and fondling and touching.

she asks you if it's okay. asks you how you like it best. asks you to touch her this way, that way.

it's not like how it is with satoru. but she makes you feel good, makes you happy. she wants you to feel good. when you cry she kisses your tears away, like she knows better than to ask but wants to comfort you anyways.

when was the last time satoru tried to comfort you?

"hey," satoru breathes into your ear, pulling your panties down, "c'mon."

when you think of her, your heart flutters. when you think of satoru, your stomach flips, and your whole body aches.

you don't know what love is. you don't think satoru does, either.

otherwise, why would he ever leave geto's arms? when he's so obviously head over heels for him?

you clasp one arm against his chest as you reach down, stroking his cock to hardness. geto must have made him cum (satoru has never made you cum). must have fucked him.

satoru rolls you so you're on top of him.

his shirt is off, baring his lean, muscled chest. your brother, your strong, handsome, beautiful brother, looking up at you with wandering eyes and greedy hands.

your hands are equally greedy. running over his chest, ghosting over his nipples until he shivers. oversensitive. he always is after he's been with geto.

satoru's got a condom out already. he slips it on, leaning forward and pinning you down beneath him.

he doesn't have to use condoms with geto. he doesn't have to be the one on top all the time, either. geto can fuck him. he must like that.

geto's a special grade sorcerer. geto's a man. he's not his sister.

his cock is sliding up and down against your entrance, wetting the condom as he nips at your breast.

he always leaves marks like this, but never where anyone can see.

does he leave marks on geto?

"do you like him more?" you mumble, anxiety swirling in your gut. your lower half is a hot swirling pool of need, leaking for him.

and he inches in, making you whine, making you claw marks into his shoulder. you hope geto sees them.

satoru groans, low and throaty. it always feels like coming home when he's inside you. a perfectly matched lock and key.

his hand threads through your hair. you're so beautiful, so fucking beautiful. he'll admit he's a vain bitch, but who wouldn't be? looking like the two of you do.

maybe one day he should get you to dress up like him. wear a strap and fuck him, that'd be fun.

for now, you're warm and soft and perfect for him. so comfortable. and you're rambling about stuff that isn't important.

"what," he murmurs, breathy from the warmth of you around him, "who?"

if the frustration shows on your face, he can just fuck it away.

"geto." the name is swallowed by a swift thrust, hands planted on your hips.

you wish he'd touch your clit more (you never ask). you wish he'd answer your question (you're afraid to push). but your brother just doesn't think about other people.

"c'mon," he whines, "don't talk about some other dude. you're with me."

"you were with him."

"so?" he thrusts in harder, stealing your breath, like that'll win him the argument, "you're fucking shoko."

satoru fucks you breathless, then. pumping in and out so quickly that the friction has you shuddering, shivering, close enough that you finally start to squeeze around him.

it's always like this with him. you feel like you're drowning, helpless. all you can do is cling to him.

"satoru," you hate how pitiful your voice sounds, "satoruuuu...."

he's hitting you, so deep and so hard it hurts, pierces through the breathless haze and leaves you clenching around him.

"please," your breath escapes you with his next thrust.

please don't leave me. don't abandon me for him. don't discard me now that you have someone better. don't leave me all by myself...

tears dot at your eyes, squeezing around him. satoru's own eyes are wide and wild, his hips shoving into you staggeringly fast.

"i got you," he says, close, so close, "i've got you."

another deep thrust, painful as it is pleasurable, bruising and fast like his fingertips on your hips. he swallows your moans with a kiss.

he thinks he can eat up all your complaints, all your anxiety. hide away from his own by nestling himself in your body.

you don't want anyone but him, right? he's the only one who touches you like this.

the way you squeeze around him, the way your body feels against his, no one else gets that from you. shoko couldn't do this for you. no one could.

you say his name again and he's ready to burst. you love him always. you're so good for him. you make him feel good just by being there.

a part of his life. a missing limb. his precious sister, his beating heart, right there against his chest.

"there," satoru pants, "fuck, there, cum for me, baby..."

it's tears you blink away when he gasps and cums, burying himself inside you with a wounded sort of whimper.

you never do, when it's him. to be fair, you've never done it to yourself, either.

you only ever came when shoko fucked you. but fucked is such an ugly word for how gently she touched you, how soft she smiled.

"satoru," you whine again, "do you like him more than me? i like you more than shoko..."

satoru doesn't answer you. his hands move from your bruised hips to wrap around you, pull you close, plant kisses on your head.

"you know," he mumbles out your name. "you know."

there's a flash of rage. irrational.

he won't say it. he won't even say it. satoru will fuck you, his own sister. cling to you like he needs you to survive, sleep with you every night of his life.

but he won't say he loves you more than geto. he won't even say he likes you.

and you know - because you know him like the back of your hand, you were born with him, you spent every waking moment of your life with him until you came to the school - you know satoru loves you.

but he loves you like he loves air. it's always there. always accessible. it's not like the air will suddenly leave.

you curl into satoru's muscled chest, let him embrace you closer, sink into the silence that's only comfortable for him.

maybe there's something you can do about this.

[soleilapproves]

catalyst - chapter 5

Life has many twists and turns- yours included getting rejected from med school and ending up as a manager for your burnt-out pro boxer ex. (sukuna x fem!reader)

fanfic masterlist / main masterlist

The frantic knocking on your door made you jump out of bed. “Sukuna, what are you—is that blood?” The tall man moved past you. You rubbed your eyes and followed him to your bedroom, body warm and still delirious from sleep.

You tried to grab onto his arm to get him to look at you, but the man was swift with his movements, shuffling around the room in flashes of pink and red. His leather jacket hanging off of his lean and broad shoulders. “Sukuna, what’s wrong with your face? There’s blood everywhere.”

 “No time to answer. You still have my stuff, right?” You almost didn’t notice the duffle bag he was carrying. It seemed like he was going on a short trip. 

“Yeah, but what’s going on? Are you okay?” 

No answer. It was like he was in his own world, turning your closet-sized room into a hurricane while looking for his clothes. You felt like a lone tree standing within the storm, wavering with every gust of wind blowing through your branches. 

Sukuna hastily shoved in whatever was left of his things and finally turned to look at you. Eyes blank, face battered. “Let’s end this.” 

Your blood ran cold. Your roots were beginning to lift out of the ground. “What?” 

“Let’s break up. We haven’t seen each other for weeks anyway.” 

Your legs wobbled as you tried to navigate across the cobblestone, heels in hand, alcohol in your system. Everything was a blur after you ran away from the party. The last thing you remember is pushing Gojo’s smirking figure away while Sukuna calls you out. You couldn’t be near him. Not when he had been dangling a veil before you for so long. Underground fighter–when did he have the time to become one?

Seeking sanctuary in your old apartment was out of the question, considering that you had broken your lease to live with your ex/boss. So you decided to go to the next best place–the park next to Sukuna’s apartment complex, not near his space enough to be consumed by him but far away enough to comprehend the information you received. 

You ignored the sharp nips of the cold December wind against your bare arms. The park felt haunted. At least, in the summer, you could hear the loud chirps of cicadas and crickets, feeling like you had company even when alone. But now, you could only hear the eerie sway of the leafless trees. You had forgotten to pick up your coat in your flurry of emotions. You hugged yourself, trying not to cry over how miserable you felt. 

You thought being his girlfriend meant being important enough to know about his life's deep, intimate secrets, but apparently not. Not in his mind. Where your heart sought answers for his secretive behavior, there his mind pushed you further and further away. 

You were hoping it was all just a ploy to shield you from all the violence.

“Thank God, I thought Sukuna was finally going to experiment with his new punches on me,” a familiar voice said as you were enveloped in jacketed warmth. Yuuji plopped beside you on the bench you were sitting at and wrapped an arm around you. “I ran out from a party for you. What’s wrong?”

“Sukuna sent you after me?”

“Yeah, told me you ran away from the charity ball like some kind of Cinderella. I thought you’d be somewhere here since it’s so cold. Speaking of which, I should probably text him that you’re safe,” he answered as he pulled out his phone.

Conflicted. It’s all you’d been feeling since meeting him after so long. On one hand, you resented him for pushing you away with little to no explanation, and on the other, you felt warm with glee, knowing that he still intensely cared for you. It made you want to caress that oh-so-tense face of his. 

“I know you have many questions, and I can’t answer them all, but I will tell you one thing–these scars–” he points to the half-moon-shaped indents right beneath his bright eyes “–were caused by the people he was involved with in the past. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to you.” 

Your heart clenched deep inside your chest. Yuuji was only in high school two years ago. Who could do such a thing to a young boy? There was a newfound respect for him in your heart. Not many could keep that childlike innocence in them after experiencing something so traumatic, but Yuuji seemed like he was just fine, even if it may only be on the surface. The only blade you touched was a scalpel during your internship at your local hospital, and you seemed more uneasy than him. 

You wrapped a shaky arm around his shoulder and patted it with a maternal glint in your eye. Heart aching for the poor boy. “I’m sorry you had to grow up so soon.” 

“I’m fine. I’ve made up countless stories about these scars. It’s a good conversation starter with strangers.” His light-hearted chuckle made you stroke his head. Yuuji was like your little brother, too. You had basically raised him along with Sukuna, and he had grown into a fine young man. Understanding and emotionally intelligent. 

“Sukuna… had been thinking about coming clean for a long time. There are many things that you need to know, but it’s not my place to tell you everything.” 

It was hard to imagine Sukuna, of all people, to be so tense. The man was usually aloof. At least his past self was. Never did you consider him to be so marred by his past. 

“I’m gone an hour, and you’re already making moves on her?” You turn around to see Sukuna, disheveled, smooth tuxedo jacket in hand. The first few buttons of his shirt went back to being undone like it was earlier that evening, and his bowtie was back into its initial satin-string-like form. His hair looked like it had been run through a hundred times, and his face looked worse for wear. A frantic man in the flesh.

He yanks Yuuji’s jacket off your shoulders and replaces it with his. “I’ll give you a fifty to leave us alone.” You have to squeeze your legs to comfort the growing tension between them. Men with deep voices–no, Sukuna’s haphazard state was your weakness.

“I would’ve done it for free, but thanks for the extra cash!” Yuuji snatches away Sukuna’s jacket and jogs up to Sukuna’s building with a little pep in his step. “Weird kid,” Sukuna mumbles as he sits next to you, the sides of his muscular thighs pressed against yours, being explicit about his feelings. “More like a sweet kid, Sukuna.”

“You always coddled him too much.” 

“Couldn’t help it.” 

The silence that followed felt like holding a bottle full of lightning, glass confining something magical yet destructive. The lines between boss and ex-lover were already blurred, but at this moment, they felt nonexistent. You both were staring at each other through a chained fence–only it was made from thin cotton threads and not metal. You could smell the fence burning, each fiber of the fabric withering away as the flames consumed it and spat out ash. It was getting close to you both. You could feel its heat already. 

You could feel it in the heat of his gaze as he turned your shoulders to face him. “Let me start from the beginning.” You took a deep breath to brace yourself. The knot in your stomach told you that it was not going to be easy to hear his story. 

“It all started when I was working out at a friend’s gym. He liked boxing from time to time, and he introduced me to a few boxing clubs where I could earn extra cash by fighting locals. Nothing too crazy, just amateur fights. It helped me let out some steam and earn a little extra for Yuuji’s college fund.” 

His big hands squeezed your shoulders. “During one of my fights, I didn’t know that I had very important people watching me–the Zenin family.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. “Zenin- you mean the family who owns Zenin Construction Group?” 

“Yeah, they’re into sports gambling a lot. Boxing is just one of the pools they like to dip their feet in. The CEO or dad, Naobito Zenin, approached me after my fight to box for his ‘league.’ Little did I know it was just a team of brawny men who fought to the death in a musty basement so he could earn hundreds of thousands under the table. We, of course, also got a percentage of that. Not a lot, but it was still good money. Enough to pay for Yuuji’s first year. I could not let that chance go.” 

You immediately grabbed his hands and moved them to your lap instead, holding them in place–a practice you had followed since the beginning of your relationship for some of the few times Sukuna was ready to drop his guard. 

“Things were going well. You didn’t suspect much since we were barely meeting in person, and I was saving up enough. Until–” Sukuna gulped as his fists clenched in your manicured hands. Veins and bones popping up and again, reminding you about his sheer monstrous strength. 

“I nearly killed someone,” he rasped out. “It was the most terrifying moment of my life. Had me thinking how far I was ready to go for money.” 

Your heart sank in your chest. Your mind reeled about how often Sukuna probably had to make difficult decisions while fighting and how often it affected him. All of a sudden, in front of you, was sitting your lover from two years ago. A little skinnier, with a little more affection visible in his eyes. “Naobito wasn’t happy when I told him I didn’t want to box again because of that, so he attacked Yuuji. I was afraid you were next, so I knew I had to run away. I had to keep Yuuji safe, at least until he left for college. I was lucky that Coach Yaga was watching my matches. He let us stay with him and trained me professionally so I could actually learn how to use my gift.” 

Your mouth was dry. What could a person say after being told that they were abandoned for their own safety? Every sensation of guilt enveloped you in that moment. “Sukuna, I’m so–”

“No. You will not apologize for the shit I did. All of that happened because of me. I don’t want you to blame yourself for hating me. I fucked up.”

“Can you stop? Do you even hear yourself right now? You did what you had to do to keep yourself afloat. I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come. I just–I don’t know how you did it all by yourself. You must’ve felt so alone.” You put a hand on his face, and he leaned his face into your cold palm like it was a visceral need. Your skin burned at the feeling of his lips. His large hands moved to your elbows and dragged them to your wrists. 

“You have no idea. Every second away from you was torture,” he said before kissing the center of your palm. “Felt like I made myself go through all that for nothing. After we broke up, I realized that I needed you to survive. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to live for besides my brother.”

The thrumming in your chest was dizzying. Your breath hitched as he placed both each of your wrists on either side of his neck. It was almost laughable how easily he lifted you off the bench and onto his strong and firm thighs. He took your lack of objection and blushing face as acceptance and pulled you closer by your neck. 

“Give me one more chance. I promise I won’t keep anything from you. I’ll be better. I want to be better,” he whispered in your ear, the puffs of his warm breath making you shiver, leading you to scoot closer to him automatically. Body basically flat against his. Rugged, muscular planes against your softness. You don't miss how he caresses the side of your thigh.

He pulls back, and you see something other than regret–want. Well, more like need.

You wordlessly trace the harsh black strokes on his face. His eyes close as your fingers get closer to his lips. “I’ve missed you too—more than you know,” you whisper, breath mingling with his deep one. 

And for a moment, everything seems to stop. You can’t hear the eerie swaying of the trees, nor can you hear the mindless crackles of random flyers in the park or the distant rumbling of cars on the street. All you could hear was your lover’s deep breaths. Your hand went down to his chest to feel his heartbeat. 

Fast. Just like yours. You didn’t want this moment to end.

Feeling impatient, Sukuna slots his lips against yours. At first, his lips move against yours like he’s unsure if what’s happening is real—praying that the woman on his lap is not just his fantasy. But then he soon grows confident as your hands move to his scalp and mess up his carefully styled hairdo. You began to come undone, as his lips began to kiss you harder. His hands move around your body like it was his last time touching you. In that moment, he mentally thanked the opponent who thrashed him to immobility, or else he wouldn’t be having this moment with you–pressed up and bothered against him. 

He reluctantly pulled away as you used your forearms to slot yourself against him, catching your breath. But that wasn’t enough for the man, so he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. “It’s been way too long since we’ve done this. Let me hold you a while.”

—

taglist: @sukubusss @kyo-kyo1 @kensqueent @totallygyomeiswife @missthatgirl @iluv-ace @emoedgylord @miakxn @sunasgf1 @lolilewenk @clp-84 @sodapop182 @therealjustpeachesback @msanimeotaku181 @aerareads @rebels-rewrite @emochosoluvr

[whimsicalpolitical]

a request if I may… matty getting mad talking to someone on the phone and girlie is just watching him like😵‍💫😵‍💫 and he takes his frustration out on her😁

content warning: 18+ mdni, smut, p in v, dirty talk, spanking,

this has been going on for a while now: matty walking back and forth through the room and getting more frustrated by the phone call.

“fucking christ,” matty says gritting his teeth, “what’s your fucking damage?”

you’re sitting at the edge of the bed, done with your nightly routine and only waiting for your pacing boyfriend now.

sleep is the last thing on your mind though.

twenty minutes torture. matty’s little rage act makes your thighs ache because you’ve been clenching them together the second he started to cuss and swear.

“that’s not what i’ve been saying bro, fucking listen.”

your eyes stay on the veins on his forearm when he’s running his hand through his hair, letting a groan slip out of his mouth.

you bite your lip watching him, feeling your panties dampen as his conversation continues.

“you can fuck off with that.”

you inhale sharply and matty hears. he thinks you’re annoyed because you wanted to go to sleep right before his phone rang.

he walks towards you and cups your cheek as he mouths a ‘sorry’.

“actually, i’ve got better things to do, mate. calm down, roll yourself a spliff and chill out, will do you good, i reckon.”

matty is still standing in front of you, so close to touch, to do anything you want to do to him. your hands sneak around his body to his back over his soft shirt.

“nah, have a nice one, i will not fucking continue this conversation. jesus, yeah, you too.”

matty slides his phone into his back pocket, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. the tension in his jaw doesn’t ease even as he exhales sharply, muttering something about “fucking tosser.”

“i’ve been a right twat tonight,” he says, his voice softer now, almost contrite. the furrow in his brow lingers, though, like he’s still half-lost in whatever argument just happened over the phone. “sorry it took so long.”

you swallow hard, suddenly hyperaware of how close he is. the space between you is barely there, his knees brushing yours where you’re perched on the edge of the bed. his t-shirt clings to him in all the right ways, the faint sheen of sweat on his skin catching the light, and you can’t help but let your eyes wander.

you watch him for a moment, taking in the way his shoulders are still tight, his hands shoved into his pockets. he’s not looking at you directly, not yet, but the way his chest rises and falls in short bursts tells you he’s still got all that anger simmering under the surface.

“it’s alright,” you say softly, shaking your head. “but do you want to talk about it?”

his lips press into a thin line, and he tilts his head back, staring at the ceiling for a moment like he’s hoping it’ll swallow him whole. “no,” he says finally, voice flat. “you wanted to go to bed, yeah? you must be knackered now.”

you frown, your head tilting. “i’m not, though.”

he glances down at you then, his brow furrowing like he doesn’t quite believe you. “you should be,” he mutters.

you shake your head again, slower this time. “you should talk about it,” you murmur, reaching out to rest your hands on his forearms. your fingers skim over his skin, and his muscles twitch beneath your touch. “it’ll help. get it out of your head, and then maybe you won’t feel so mad.”

he snorts, shaking his head, his eyes darting away from yours. “what’s the point? won’t change anything. and, anyway, you shouldn’t have to deal with me when i’m like this.”

“i don’t mind,” you say, your voice gentle. your thumbs rub small circles against his arms, coaxing him to relax even just a little. “besides, it’s better than letting it fester. you’ll just drive yourself mental.”

he doesn’t respond right away, his gaze dropping to where your hands rest on him. his jaw tightens again, like he’s still debating it, still trying to work through it on his own. but you can feel the way his tension hasn’t eased, the way he’s holding himself so rigid, and you slide your hands up slowly, tracing over his chest now.

“or,” you say, your voice quieter, almost testing, “you could find another way to let it out.”

his eyes snap to yours at that, narrowing slightly. “what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, his tone sharp, defensive, like he’s daring you to say it.

your fingers spread out against his chest, and you can feel the rapid beat of his heart under your palm. “it means,” you say slowly, your gaze not wavering from his, “you could do something to relieve that anger.”

his brow lifts slightly, and for a second, he just stares at you, his expression unreadable. and then he scoffs, shaking his head like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “are you serious?”

“what?” you ask softly, your voice even, steady.

“were you—” he starts, breaking off with a disbelieving laugh before leaning in closer, his eyes narrowing. “were you getting off on that? me losing my shit?”

your face flushes hot, but you don’t pull your hands away. instead, your fingers curl into his shirt, gripping it lightly as you hold his gaze.

“not like that,” you say quickly, though your voice wavers just enough to make him raise an eyebrow.

“not like that,” he repeats, his tone skeptical. his hands come down to rest on your thighs, his grip firm but not harsh, and he leans in closer, his eyes searching yours. “go on, then. explain it to me.”

you swallow hard, your pulse quickening as his thumb brushes over your cheek. “matty, don’t—”

“don’t what?” he cuts you off. “don’t call you out on it? don’t notice the way you’ve been watching me like you want to devour me. i saw, love. the way you clenched your thighs together.”

you open your mouth to retort, but the words die on your tongue when his lips brush against your neck, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin. his hands slide up your thighs, his fingers curling against the fabric of your sleep shorts.

“that’s dirty. thought you’re being a nice girl and you want to talk,” he scoffs, “instead you just want to be fucked.”

your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues kissing your neck and his hands wandering to your upper thighs.

“fuck, you’re warm,” he murmurs, his voice rough in your ear. “and so bloody worked up, is this what my little tantrum does to you?”

you let out a soft whimper, your hands gripping his shirt to ground yourself. “matty…”

“say it,” he demands, pulling back just enough to look at you. his pupils are blown, and his chest rises and falls heavily. “say you like it when I’m like this.”

you hesitate for a moment, but the way his hands tighten on your thighs has you caving. “i like it,” you admit in a shaky whisper. “i like it when you’re… like this.”

“knew it,” he mutters before capturing your lips in a searing kiss.

the kiss is all-consuming, a perfect mix of frustration and desire. his hands wander freely now, sliding under your shirt to grip your waist. you gasp against his mouth when his teeth graze your bottom lip, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue tangling with yours.

when he pulls back he shakes his head, “you want me to be rough?”

“yes,” you breathe out as fast as possible.

“christ. alright. lay down, get on the bed.”

you nod and scoot backwards, your eyes fixated on matty, who’s already pulling his shirt over his head.

he looks divine. black jeans with a belt and no shirt, his tattoos on full display for you drives you insane. you squirm a bit, waiting for his next move.

he’s taking your feet into his hand, rubbing your skin softly.

“darling, i need you to be absolutely sure and if you don’t fuck with anything i do, you need to tell me.”

“i swear, matty,” you say, offering him a warm smile.

“perfect.”

you watch his face as he carefully and slowly grabs at the fabric of your sleeping shorts, pulling them all the way down.

“gonna let me do what i want to you then?”

“yes.”

his hands find your hips, he's sliding down the bed, just enough so his head is level with your middle, he dips his head down and presses his lips to the soft flesh, his teeth sink into your skin, sending a shiver down your spine, you involuntarily let out a soft moan.

he grips your hips more firmly, almost like you'll disappear before him if he doesn't, he moves his lips to your other hip and nips at your skin, "my fucking gorgeous girl, absolutely filthy for me," he says lowly, his breath hot against your skinz

you whimper softly as both of your hands find the nape of his neck. his mouth moves to the soft swell of your tummy and he nips at the supple skin right above your belly button.

he pulls away and peers up at you, eyes dark and full of lust, his mouth hovers over yours, "you drive me mental, you know that, love?" he whispers fervently against your lips, his fingers squeezing the meat of your thighs.

“i'm pretty crazy about you too, matty," you whisper, his cheeks flush pink at your words, still so bashful. he kisses the heel of your palm before patting the side of your thigh, "turn around for me darling, go on, all fours, need to see all of you," he smirks, his eyes full of intensity as they drag down your body.

you do as he asks and move to the middle of the bed, flipping onto your knees and walking your hands out in front of you, arching your back slightly and hiking your up ass in front of him, he moans at the sight.

"just like that," he praises softly behind you and your pussy throbs, a familiar sticky heat pools in your panties at his words. you playtully take a glance back at him, his eyes dark and half-lidded as he sits up and moves to his knees behind you, his hands run up the backs of your thighs all the way up until they meet the globe of your ass.

"look at you, so fuckin' perfect," he murmurs, oggling the curve of your ass as his index finger sneaks under the lace trim of your panties, taking the material between his forefinger and his thumb and lightly skimming his fingers down the lace, "jesus.”

matty scoffs, “s’kind of pathetic. drenching your little panties because i’m angry.”

his fingers roam down to your covered slit and you let out a soft gasp, which only spurs him on, he runs his fingers along the wet spot on your panties, smirking when he feels the wetness staining your panties, the tips of his fingers dip below your clothed slit,

"that’s my girl though, right? always so fuckin' wet for me.”

it should embarrass you, how easy you are for him but it doesn't because it's matty and knowing how much he revels in this, in you makes that small pinch of embarrassment fade away instantly...every single time.

you risk a look at him over your shoulder as he pulls his finger back out and in one swift movement he puts his finger between his lips, quickly sucking your arousal off his finger, like it's a mindless, habitual thing for him.

his hands reach for the waistband sitting on your hips, pulling the lacy fabric down, marveling at the dark fabric against your skin as he slowly drags the material down your thighs, his eyes catch the wetness soaking the lace while he pulls them down and he moans shamelessly.

“such a pretty cunt, darling.”

your eyes widen while you watch him bunch up the material and shove the lace in his back pocket and then his hand lands an affectionate smack to your ass, "eyes forward, i won’t say it again."

you tear your eyes away as he brings a firm hand to the small of your back, pressing you down and deepening the arch to his liking, you instinctively drop to your forearms- so pliant and needy for him-he brings his mouth down and sinks his teeth into the lush of your ass in approval.

“fucking christ,” he groans behind you, “you’re so easy. gonna let me do what i want to you just because you’re needy, pathetic.”

his hands grab your inner thighs, spreading your legs, now he has full sight of your glistening core, two thick fingers stroke through your folds.

"you’re a mess, darling, look at that- you’re dripping down your legs.”

his words make your cunt throb, you can't help the whine you let out, "matty, please."

matty laughs, “you’re a fucking beg. what do you want?”

"i need you, please do anything, please," you mewl, not caring how pathetic you sound.

but still, not enough for matty. a loud wet smack fills the room as he lays a firm slap to your cunt, your body flinches forward, the edges of your vision blurs and your aching, swollen cunt tingles and clenches at the harsh, yet welcomed contact.

he tuts, "that’s it? you need to try better than that, love. beg for it.”

"matty please, i want your cock. i want it," you whine and writhe beneath his firm palm.

"see? s’all i’ve wanted to hear," he cooes, his slick-coated fingers now soothing your folds. “wouldn’t be fun though if we already skipped to the best part, would it?”

he shifts behind you, sliding down off the bed, kneeling on the floor, he pulls you back towards the edge of the bed by your thighs. he tilts his head up just enough to dig his teeth into the meat of your upper thigh, just below the curve of your ass cheek and soothes the sting with a wet kiss.

you shiver, you're aching for him and his mouth is everywhere except for where you need him to be.

“stop writhing around like a needy slut,” he spits out, “you don’t want me to stop immediately, right?”

“no, no, sorry.” you plead, closing your eyes.

matty’s hands come up to grab the meat of your ass, spreading you open and gently pushing you forward for better access, he brings his mouth to hungrily kiss your inner thighs, tasting the sweet, sticky slick coating your skin and a pitiful moan slips from your lips.

“mhm, perfect.”

matty seems to have heard it and that's all it takes for his lips to make contact with your pussy, your breath hitches in your throat as he flattens his tongue and licks a long, slow swipe through your slicked folds, the first one always drawn out and meticulous and just for him.

“oh f-fuck.” you moan.

a pressure already begins to pull taut low in your belly, you're squirming in his grasp but his hands move to firmly grip your outer thighs, keeping you open for him and pressed flush against his eager mouth. he fucking laves at you, devouring and savouring you like he'd never get the chance again.

“such a perfect one, yeah. my favorite taste.”

the vibrations from occasional muffled moans and groans against your pussy make you chant his name over and over like a prayer, even though he's the one on his knees.

“jesus matty," you moan out, your eyes roll back into your head as the coil inside your belly wounds up so tight every muscle in your body tenses. you start grinding your hips back into his face, he groans in response and loosens his grip on your legs, letting you take what you need from him.

it takes a moment to come down from your high, matty not being a help at all with the same pace he has on your clit.

he flattens his tongue against your clit before he closes his lips around it, suckling it into his mouth and moaning around it, the vibrations from his mouth makes the coil in your belly snap, and you cry out, using the sheets beneath you to stifle the noises slipping through your lips.

“fucking god,” you moan, “matty- can’t.”

matty hums a “you can,” and immediately latches on again.

the tip of his tongue works small, tight circles on your clit around and around, only this time with more pressure than before and within minutes or seconds-you don't really know at this point-you feel the pressure building in your belly and it's growing stronger by every lick and suck from his mouth. his tongue flicks over your clit before he licks it into his mouth once more, closing his lips tightly, he gives it one last tight circle of his tongue and suckle to your clit and you break, your second orgasm crashes over you.

“matty,” you moan over and over again, your brain completely empty with thoughts.

a choked moan escapes you, your legs quiver as they threaten to close while your hands fist the sheets beside your head, the grip he has on your thighs holds you open for him while you come all over his mouth and he laps you up, savoring, slurping, and swallowing down everything you give him.

“fucks sake,” he groans, “perfect cunt.”

milliseconds pass and he shifts behind you, lost in the haze of your orgasm, you can faintly hear ruffling as he stands up. he leans forward, kneading your ass in his palms before bending down to lay another bite on your other cheek, this time with more fervor, leaving a mark, your skin tingles.

matty’s hand is on him, stroking himself slowly, while his other hand is touching your body.

“just a little toy for me, aren’t you, darling?” he asks, not expecting an answer, “gonna let me fuck you?”

matty positions himself right against your ass and places his hands on your hips again and squeezes, “talk to me.”

"not like this,” you whine, not daring to look back, “wanna see you.”

“aww,” matty pouts, “you’ve got too many wishes, you know?”

nevertheless he grips your thighs and turns you around so you’re on your back. you’re eyes are staring at him but it seems like you’re not there, your brain feels hazy.

“you’re alright, love,” matty says, leaning down to kiss your cheek.

you can only whine and grip the nape of his neck to receive a proper kiss.

“needy girl,” he murmurs, leaning down to give you a kiss, licking over your bottom lip before tugging it between his teeth.

your sounds are swallowed by his mouth as he keeps kissing you, grinding himself against your thigh.

“can-please,” you whine, stretching your arm out to find his cock, which is already leaking with pre cum.

matty lets out a quiet groan, you can't help but smile at this as you start to rub him between your legs, grabbing his attention back onto the task at hand.

“didn’t say you could touch me, love,” he grits out, “s’like you can’t get enough.”

“i can’t,” you smile, tugging at his hair, “can you please fuck me.”

you’re desperate. how could you not be with matty between your legs, right there.

matty slides inside of you roughly, not slow and steady, not giving you any time to adjust, he’s using you.

“fuck, this what you wanted?” he asks as his eyelids flutter closed.

he’s got one of your thighs in his grasp and he's pushing it up against your ribs as he begins a steady pace with his hips against yours. there’s strings of your slick attached to his upper thighs from your inner legs rubbing against him.

matty notices immediately, “fucking christ, you’re making such a mess, s’heavenly.”

“matty,” you moan, “you- s’perfect.”

“yeah?”

matty brings his right hand back down to continue flicking your clit back and forth with his wet fingers.

you bite down on his shoulder. your propped up foot thuds softly against his back as the other one grips onto the sheets.

"feel nice?" matty asks into your hair as you bite down onto him, “fucking enjoy yourself?”

“feel so perfect," you whine against him. "jesus, so good,” you slur.

his weight is pushing you down so you can't wiggle away from any of the stimulation he's giving you. it accumulates quickly and, just laying there and taking it, you don't get enough time to warn him you're close.

you’re clenching around him uncontrollably, rolling your eyes back and clawing your nails into his shoulder blades.

“let me have it, come on,” he groans, rutting into you as deep as before, “come for me.”

he fucks you harder, his pace frantic. "such a perfect cunt, darling." he groans, dipping his head into your neck to nip at your skin. “my gorgeous girl."

"oh, god, matty..." you cry, your orgasm quickly approaching, unable to stop it no matter how much you want to prolong the feeling.

it doesn't take long before your orgasm crashes over you, pulsing through you in waves, back arching off the bed as you reach out for anything to ground yourself. hands finding the back of his head, pulling him into your chest.

“just like that, perfect, darling.”

he follows soon after, his cock pulsing inside you as he empties himself into you, collapsing on top of you, his chest heaving.

“fuck,” he exhales, moving one more slow time again to torture the both of you.

you’re overstimulated, your legs hurting so good there are tears prickling in your eyes. you brush your hands over matty’s shoulders and back, humming as you try to love on him.

“you still angry?” you ask, smiling to yourself.

matty groans when he lifts his head to look at you, stealing a quick kiss, “nah. unless you want me to be,” he jokes.

“give me a break,” you giggle.

“i love you, darling,” he murmurs, sliding out of you, hissing at the cold air.

you scrunch up your nose in pain, your ass, thighs and the skin between your legs hurting real good.

“i’ll draw you a bath, don’t worry, love.”

you enjoy this the most. matty being the sweet boy you’ve known forever, his only mission to take care of you.

[lustlovehart]

I LOVE TWST monster au. It so cool and interesting!!! I'm INLOVE

I don't know if your taking requests or not but if you are I NEED to know more about Vil. Like have he every try to seduce you?? Like make you kiss him or worse 😳.

Anyway have a goodnight or goodday

Warnings: NSFW, some canon to the au, some past drafts, GN! Bodied Reader, Possession/Obsession

Ahaha… Funny you say this, in the monster list, Vil’s entire snippet was centered around reader and him being freaks before I realized I should tone it down 💀

First, Non-Canon/Draft stuff! The dynamic between reader and Vil was basically just

( They were fighting and then they somehow ended up in bed while they screamed hate at each other. When they were done they realized they lowkey liked it. )

Essentially, Vil is the only one in the monster cast who has ever been intimate with reader. In my mind, MH!Reader still understood it was wrong, so you never go all the way with him. You think this arrangement is completely reasonable, considering of firm Vil is on not letting you kill him. You’re entirely convinced he hates you, so letting him feed off you to feel the self indulgent pleasure of his tongue, is a fine arrangement.

Unbeknownst to you, every time he finds himself in the bed with you, he can only clench his nails. He’s been starving this whole time… Why? Because, contrary to you thinking he’s sapping your energy away, he hasn’t consumed a single piece of your vitality. Neither, has he seen anyone else to quench that desire.

It’s pathetic, he’s losing the soft feeling of his pure skin, simply cause he can’t bear the idea of slowly killing you. But, he doesn’t wanna do this with anyone else now. The only one he wishes to taste is you.

… Truly, what have you done to this all famed incubus?

Fun fact! The Incubus Vil fic I have written is actually before I changed this part of his lore, sooo, there might be a small chunk in there where it’s implied you and Vil had a freak off ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

And now onto Canon! This one will be a little vague to avoid heavy spoilers, but, you’re basically right! Vil does attempt to seduce reader, and it works, but only slightly.

Unlike MH!Reader previously, in the current au, they have a bit more self control, so you notice his seduction, and the sweet smell that wafts the air, but through simple will power, you push through the temptation.

There are several times where you wonder if you should just go through with it, but then you remember the hoard of monsters who act as your second shadow, the two monster hunters who will no doubt shoot Vil at every possible chance, and the angel Vil has a strong hatred for. Yeah, probably not the best choice.

Honestly, it ticks off Vil, but also is what makes him continue pursuing you. It would be easier to sleep with other people if you stopped looking at him with those eyes.

Yet, you don’t, so it’ll never happen.

[ily-fictional-women]

Holiday Spirit

Summary: The Christmas spirit is something that should always be shared 

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader + platonic!Maria Hill x fem!reader

Warnings: Not proofread (yet)

Word count: 1155

a/n: Happy holidays! I’ll try and get out another fic that isn’t about Christmas sooner than later for those who don’t celebrate. Sorry again for this being so late. (Reblogs are welcome and critiques/advice are heavily encouraged, but please no translating.)

Tossing her duffle bag on the floor Y/n flops onto her bed face first with a sigh of relief. Missions can last longer than expected sometimes— but it’s worse when they’re stake-out missions that last longer than expected. Almost on the edge of sleep, there is a knock on the door to her bunk.

Y/n groans into her pillow, “Who is it?” 

“It’s Santa, and you, my trusty elf, are needed in my toy factory.” Begrudgingly Y/n gets out of bed opening the door with Maria on the other side. Maria grins, “You look like shit.” Shooting Maria a quick glare Y/n rolls her eyes. “This,” Y/n gestures to her face, “is due to a twenty four hour solo stake-out mission. Also, you do know you’re only an inch taller than me right? If I’m an elf, so are you.” 

“Woah woah woah, no need to get defensive Y/l/n. Anyways, I just came by to see if you were up for Christmas with my Mom again this year. Maybe you could even bring Natasha, I’ve been telling my Mom about you and her.” 

“Yeah I’ll go, and that’s a good idea. I’ll ask her later tonight.” Maria nods before walking away, “Great!” Before closing the door Y/n catches her, “Oh and Hill, what have you been  telling your Mom?” 

Maria smiles, “Just the truth and what I see, you two are good together don’t worry.” 

//

Softly knocking on the door Natasha opens it, “Hey detka, how did the mission go?” Y/n shrugs still tired after the nap she took. “It was okay, are you busy right now though?” Cracking a smile Natasha rolls her eyes, “For you? Never, get in here.” 

“You look nice right now by the way.”

“Are you serious?” Natasha asks as they both begin to lounge on the small bed in the room. Y/n sits up a little to face Natasha better, “Yeah I’m serious, the messy half up half down bun look is cute. I like it a lot. Plus it’s just nice to see you in non-mission clothes.” 

“Well then thank you.” Natasha tucks one of Y/n’s stray hairs away abstenmindly beginning to play with it, “Did you need something though?” 

“Right, yeah. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come with Maria and I to her Mom’s place for Christmas. I usually have fun but I think it’d be more fun with you there.” 

“I’d love that.”

//

Ringing the doorbell there’s an immediate faint sound of bells jingling. The door swings open to the sight of Elizabeth Hill in a ugly Christmas sweater coverd in bells, pom poms, and LED lights. 

“Girls!” Elizabeth immediately pulls all three women into a tight hug. “Hi mom.” Maria pats the woman on the back struggle to move. “It’s good to see you too Beth,” Y/n croaks out being sandwiched between the other women.  

Letting go of everyone Elizabeth begins shaking Natasha’s hand vigorously, “It’s good to me you by the way Natasha. Maria has told me a lot of good things about you. Oh I love your shirt! Is it red silk or-” Maria quickly interrupts. “Mom. Can we come inside.” 

“Oh! Yes, yes everyone come in! And Maria dear, maybe you would be warmer if you had a leather jacket with some lining like a told you last year.” Entering the home it is fully covered in decorations of candycanes and colorful lights with a large tree in the living room decorated with a mix of generic ornaments and homemade ones over the years. 

In the dinning room though sits two premade gingerbread house surrounded by bowls of snacks to decorate them with. Elizabeth smiles, “Now usually I buy one for everyone but I figured since we have even numbers this year we could do teams. Lets say mother and daughter versus the cute new couple?” 

Natasha grabs a piping bag of icing giving Elizabeth a mock scowl, “Absolutly just know you’re going to loose.”

“Ooh I like that energy, Maria dear you need to bring someone home like her.” As Maria sighs rolling her eyes Y/n looks at Natash with a quirked eyebrow and a grin. Natasha looks up from the ginger bread house and at Y/n, “What? I can be competitive. Now are you going to help or not?” 

As Y/n gives a nod of confirmation the kitchen dining table immediately becomes a battlefield. Icing tubes all over the table like artillery, random cadies spread out like ammunition, and a mix of orders and arguing coming from the mouths of both teams. On one side of the table being Maria and Elizabeth who are arguing about candy cane placement. 

The other side consisting of Natasha and Y/n with Natasha so lazer focused on the gingerbread house she making to notice the mess beginning to grow around it on herself. On the other hand Y/n is making and decorating marshmallow people as instructed by Natasha. 

Looking up at the enemies across from them Elizabeth uses the last trick she can think of to try and get ahead. She blurts out, “Natasha did you know Y/n and Maria made a band in highschool.” 

“Mom!” 

“Beth!”

As Maria and Y/n both yell at the woman at the same time Natasha looks up from the gingerbread house slowly putting down the gumdrops she was using to decorate with. “Do you have pictures,” Natasha asks as she moves closer the woman. Elizabeth grins mischevously, “Better. I have pictures, videos, and the shirts they made for the band.” 

“Oh I need to see this.” Natasha follows Elizabeth to the livingroom as Maria and Y/n look at eachother mortified. Hearing giggling already begin to erupt from the living room Y/n launches a distraction. 

“Nat, under any circumstances do not come back in here. I may or may not have messed up the gingerbread house.” In the blink of an eye Natasha is standing in the doorway of the dinning room staring daggers into Y/n.

“You. Did. What?” Y/n puts up her hands defensively slowly walking up to her, “Nothing. I did nothing. I was just trying to steal you away for a minute.” Natasha lets out a sigh of relief, “Don’t do that again.” 

“Sure, sure. But I will be honest with you it’s kind hard to take you seriously when you have frosting on your nose,” as Y/n says that she wipes it off for her leading to a sudden flash near them. 

The two look over to see Elizabth taking out a small picture from a polaroid before pointing above the two. “Misltoe you two!” Elizabeth says with glee as she readies her camera. As the two kiss and a camera flashes once more Natasha smiles softly at Y/n, “This is a great Christmas, thank you.”

[hwonnrinji]

plsplspls since it's sweater season can you make a Yoonchae × fem!reader fic inspired by the song "Heather" by Conan Gray???

help i was gonna make a sophia ver but anything for my bias 🫶

IT'S JUST POLYESTER ; 윤채

jeong yoonchae x fem!reader

{ synopsis } : you're madly in love with yoonchae. too bad she's in love with your best friend. right? right??

{ tags/extra } : unrequited love/one-sided love.. or so you think, eunchae and haerin cameo (haerin's the bsf but we're not gonna dive into that), it's angsty, so it's angsty, not proofread...

{ a/n } : felt like shit so i wrote shit. p.s. it's a little off prompt but yall see the parallel?? anyways it's 2:30am and i need sleep

@lararajjj @ohmyhaely @ninguitar @strwwjj @jwyproperty

══════════

now playing : heather - conan gray

⤷ "only if you knew

how much i liked you"

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you knew this look all too well. you saw how sparks lit up in her eyes when she saw her. you saw how her lips parted in awe when she walked over. you clench your fists that hung by your side, your knuckles almost turning white by how hard your fists were balled up.

"what a sight for sore eyes," she mumbles.

of course. who wouldn't think of such thing when a girl that pretty walks up to you.

"what, you think she's pretty, yoonchae?" you ask, but it sounded a little sarcastic. you clear your throat to hide the bitter tone. yoonchae didn't pay any mind to your sour voice, nodding along to your question. you suppress a scoff

"she's got you mesmerized, huh?" you're dying inside, at this point.

"i think so," she admitted, a shy smile displayed on her lips when haerin finally approaches and attempted to strike a conversation with yoonchae. it's successful. it always is.

but haerin, oh, haerin.

she has always been the prettier best friend, always gaining the attention of your crushes left and right. she's a good friend, nonetheless, making it her mission to reject every one of them that confess to her. maybe it was out of pity, maybe it was out of girl code, but you can't help and feel disheartened. now you find yourself in the same situation with yoonchae that you swore you would prevent from happening.

you and yoonchae weren't anything. maybe more than friends, less than lovers, but it's never something. no, possibly even nothing at all. one kiss at a party during spin the bottle isn't special. you both had to or else you'd have to embarrass yourselves. it's just the game rules. yet, why did her gaze linger on you throughout and after the whole ordeal? why did her voice get softer with you but not everyone else? you weren't even half as pretty as haerin. so why?

tears of frustration mixed with sadness welled up in your eyes when you saw quick yoonchae got comfortable with haerin, how her voice was the same as the day of the party, how her eyes were identical to seeing you in her sweater for the first time. you let out a shaky breath, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

"are you cold?" you hear yoonchae ask. you look up to see yoonchae already fumbling to take off her sweater. the same sweater she let you wore last year. how ironic.

"just a little. it's december after all." haerin responds with a tone so gentle and warm that it gags you. yoonchae gives her the sweater, and out of politeness, haerin took it. you don't realize there's a scowl on your face until your eyebrows became sore from frowning too much, it's just polyester, you remind yourself. but you already know yoonchae liked– no, likes haerin better.

in your seventeen years of life, you've never wanted to be someone more. now you find yourself wishing to be haerin.

═══════════════════════════

you watch as haerin stands with her, holding her hand. you decided to save yourself from whatever this was by pretending to be busy for the day. you weren't. you just didn't want to bear the pain of seeing yoonchae being glued to the hip with haerin. you grimace as yoonchae put her arm around haerin's shoulder, leaving you to reminisce about the last time yoonchae did that for you, all because the wind was too strong for winter.

now you're getting colder the longer you stare at just how close those two were from afar. the lack of an arm around your shoulder, or the warm hands of yoonchae's holding yours, made you more fragile to the intense breeze.

despite everything you feel, you can never find yourself to actually look at haerin with disdain. she's been with you since a pacifier was in your mouth, and she's the sweetest, most angel like girl to ever exist, so why do you wish she was dead? no, no, dead is overly strong. maybe disappear is the word you're looking for. wait, no, not quite. there are times when haerin is the only person to understand you, so to have her disappear wouldn't benefit anybody.

just then, yoonchae turned around, immediately spotting you from across the quad. she eagerly waved you over, a huge smile on her face just from seeing you alone. maybe there was something to your relationship with yoonchae.

maybe, maybe, maybe–

oh? who was that?

you briefly ignore yoonchae's attempts at getting you to come over, swiveling your head to look at who just walked past you, and lord, it was like an angel was sent from heaven just for you. your eyes were fixated on hers and it seems like she felt your gaze as well, seeing how she looked back and smiled at you. that smile can light up a world.

from across the quad, yoonchae and haerin both watched as you get enthralled by that smile. the look in your eyes is sickening, sickeningly sweet to haerin, sickeningly disgusting to yoonchae. yoonchae has no idea why she felt that way, but the way your eyes locked onto the girl walking past you instead of on her ticked her off a bit. haerin, of course, notices the lack of responses from yoonchae and looked at the girl to see her absolutely glaring at whoever caught your attention.

haerin chuckles and lightly tap yoonchae on the shoulder. "you look like you've just seen your enemy." it's too soon for 'enemy' to be placed as a title on the girl. maybe potential competition would best fit.

back on your end, the girl approached you. wait. was that right? a girl that pretty approaching you? your lips parted in awe at such duality the girl held, how handsome she looked, yet how gorgeous she presented herself. "i like your hoodie." she told you. even her voice, which was on a lower register, sounded magical.

"wha– me?" you look down at your plain white hoodie, wondering how anyone can like such a piece of clothing.

now yoonchae's scowling, the wrinkles on her forehead could've been permanent if haerin didn't tell her to give it a rest. she could hear the conversation from a mile away. your hoodie was just ordinary. there's nothing special to it other than the white color. maybe it was just like your relationship with yoonchae. "please, that hoodie is nothing special,"

"this hoodie is nothing special." it was, indeed, special. yoonchae had bought it for you for christmas, and you wore it the entirety of the skii trip you went on. both of you didn't know why you said what you said but it didn't sit right with neither of you. the girl gave you her number and bid goodbye to catch up with her friends. you learn her name is eunchae. hong eunchae. it rolled off your tongue perfectly.

you rush over to haerin and yoonchae to share the interaction you just had as if they didn't witness it, haerin jumping in joy with you. yoonchae bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from speaking wrongly, offering a forced smile instead. you stopped your rambling to look at eunchae while yoonchae kept her eyes on you. deep down, even with eunchae showing interest in you, you still wished yoonchae looked at you like that. and deep down in yoonchae's brain, she wished it was her who got you all flustered.

'i wish i was haerin.'

'i wish i was eunchae.'

[queenbrucewayne]

Not Dead

A/n: since there are so many amazing Batman, I won’t be using Gif with the stories so people can envision their favorite one while reading.

“Ya know, I could’ve had Alfred bring that.” Bruce watched Y/n close the door behind her, giving a polite smile to his PA who was gushing over the flowers she got her.

“I know, but I have to pass here to get to work anyways. Besides, it gives me an excuse to see my husband.” She smiled sweetly, putting the briefcase down on the chair across his desk.

Bruce eyes followed her, rolling back slightly in his chair where she happily sat herself across his lap. His right hand instantly went to her lower back while his left rested on her knee.

Y/n wrapped her left arm across his shoulder and started running her nails thru the back of his head, her other hand laid on top of his that was resting on her knee.

“Did you even leave this office last night?” Y/n tone was teasing.

She noticed the little bit of extra growth on his face, which to her meant that he didn’t shave this morning; and the tie she had rested on the bed for him yesterday was still on around his neck.

Bruce gave her a small smile. He had left the office yesterday, but he went straight to the bat cave and then on patrol soon after. His night was long and before he knew it, the sun was rising and he only had little time to get back to the mansion and wash off his face before his meeting this morning. He hadn’t expected to see Y/n till tonight so he didn’t bother to change his tie or shave his face. Assuming you would just think he woke up early this morning and left; not out fighting criminals and dealing with justice league business.

“I have a comfy couch, it does wonders on my back.” Bruce smirked, wondering if you would believe him yet again, or if his lies were finally catching up to him.

Seeing you rolling your eyes and smiling at his comment he knew you were convinced.

“Well, don’t make it such a habit, I don’t like you pushing yourself so much and I prefer to have a little bit of warmth at night.”

Before Bruce could respond back her phone started beeping. Watching her fiddle with her pocket till she finally answered. He decided to take the opportunity to lay his head on her shoulder, resting his eyes for only a moment to try and get a few minutes of rest he failed to get last night. Bruce knew lying to you was gonna catch up to him, Alfred had told him when they were dating for only a year that he should have said the truth of what he does at night as the caped crusader. He didn’t, and now Bruce and Y/n were married for six months, her having no clue what he has been hiding all these years.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll be there soon.” Y/n hung up the phone, looking down she smiled seeing the calmness and peace in her husbands expression. He had been pushing himself so hard lately, working long hours, barley keeping up with emails, and the amount of coffee this man drinks on a daily could probably put the average human into shook.

Bruce opened his eyes looking up at her. Y/n frowned at the red shot color and the dark circles that really have been getting more and more noticeable these days. “Bruce, please go home early today, and just sleep for two days.”

Bruce laughed, kissing her shoulder he leaned his head back up, letting Y/n slide off his lap. “I’ll be fine, you should get to work before you get in trouble.” Taking her hand he brought it to his mouth and kissed it twice. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Y/n leaned down, bringing her hands to his cheeks she cupped his face and kissed sweetly. Pulling back she locked her eyes with him, still cupping his face. “Sleep, please.”

Bruce nodded, watching her round the corner of his desk as she made her way out of his office. As soon as the door closed he let out a sigh of relief. He was slipping up, not catching the little things only she would notice. Knowing soon he would have to tell her the truth or she would figure it out herself; or worse, she would assume something else that was even worse than the truth.

The hole he dug himself into was deep, too deep for comfort. Telling her the truth now could put a cold stop to the relationship. He should have told her before they got married... No, he should have told her from the beginning. Bruce knew a long time ago that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. Whatever short or long life he may have, he finally found someone he didn't wanna waste a moment without; but now, he could lose you completely for a lie that has over taken his life.

Bruce stacked up some papers he had been working on. Getting up, he walked over to the briefcase that Y/n brought him, stuffing the rest of the endless files and notes for his next meeting inside, he walked to the conference room to get ready for another long day.

Few hours later Bruce was back in his office, the sunset coming through the open floor to ceiling windows. He sat in his chair, swiveling back a bit with the momentum. Pulling his phone out he went into his favorites and hit the one of two numbers saved. After a few rings he finally heard the click.

“I was just about to call you.” Y/n smiled, “I have in my hand a very delicious plate of Chinese that will make your mouth drool.”

“Chinese huh?” Bruce leaned back in his chair, his eyes shut as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I thought I would let Alfred have a night to himself. He was talking about going to see a play or something."

"Where are you?" Bruce asked, hearing the sounds of the city in the background.

"I'm headed to the office, I'm about a few blocks away."

Before Bruce could respond a loud crash was heard from below, followed by an explosion that shook his entire office.

Jumping from his seat, he instantly became hyper aware of his surroundings. quickly pulling up the building security cameras.

"Bruce? What was that? I see smoke rising up from where I am."

Each camera but the down stairs labs were working, thinking the explosion came from there Bruce quickly grabbed what he needed and headed out the door. "Y/n, I have to call you back."

"What? Bruce what is happening?"

All of a sudden multiple Gotham PD cars sped past her on the main road, followed by two fire trucks and an ambulance.

Panic setting in, Y/n started running towards Wayne industries, ignoring the groups of people starting to crowd the streets with phones in their hands that were recording the large amounts of smoke that was getting bigger and darker.

"I gotta help some people, Y/n I'll call you back."

"Wait Bruce don't-" And just like that, the phone disconnected and Y/n was left on the other end.

More people crowded the streets, seeing the crowds get bigger as everyone looked to the sky to see the most well known building in Gotham get surrounded by smoke.

Y/n finally made it to the barrier line that the fire and police had made to keep the crowds of people back and away from the building. Crowds of people had all gather around the barricade, watching as the scene in front of them spread wider to almost around the whole building and inside the employee garage.

Looking around Y'n had spotted commissioner Gordan, who looked to be supervising the crowd work and escorting some employees who had just made it out of the building. "Jim!"

Jim turned around looking directly in the direction of his name. Spotting Y/n, he jogged over next to the barrier. "Mrs Wayne! There was an explosion in one of the labs, along with another one almost at the top of the building, we have been trying to get people out, but some parts of the structure has already fallen thru."

"Jim, Bruce was inside his office, I was on the phone with him and-" Before Y/n could finish her sentence, Batman glided in, landing directly next to one of the stretchers that had a paramedic. He was holding two office workers that Y/n recognized as one of Bruces office assistants. Batman quickly gave them to one of the paramedics, both not looking to be injured but struggling to breath from the intake of smoke from whatever blew up.

Batman glanced around, his eyes landing on Y/n. He walked over swiftly, standing next to Jim he told him he had given the run down of all exits and civilian count to what he thought was the best plan for firefighters to get in and out with no casualties. The problem that Y/n had with his plan despite not talking to her, was the fact none of this covered for the main office floor. "That doesn't cover the top floor." Y/n was quick to say.

Jim turned around, but Batman paid no attention. "Mrs Wayne, we have our best people getting this fire under control, we-"

"The main office building is still covered in smoke, if the staircases leading up to the top floor is engulfed in flames by now how do you-"

"The people on that floor have already been evacuated." Batman cut in, his voice was sharpe and straight to the point.

"Bruce Wayne wasn't evacuated."

Batman's jaw tightened, he turned his attention back to Jim. "There is nobody left on that floor this is the best plan. for the rest of the building"

Dumbfounded, Y/n looked at Gordan for any sign of help. He nodded, putting his hand on her shoulder he looked back to Batman "You are absolutely sure, Bruce Wayne was not on that floor?"

Batman glanced back at Y/n, her expression was pleading, almost desperate at this point, but what made it all worst was the tears that started to form at the corners of her eyes. Sighing, he turned his back on both of them. "I'm absolutely sure."

Y/n held back a sob, driving her body forward she tried to go after him. "No! He's lying!" She yelled out. Jim had a complete hold on her now, pulling her back from going after Batman. "He's in there! He's in that building! Batman Stop! Please! You can't leave him!" The more she yelled the more her voice would crack and her body would try to fight against Jim.

"Mrs Wayne, please stop!" Jim was struggling to get a complete grip on her. "Hey! Get me some help here!"

Just then two officers came to Jim's aid. "Get her away from here, keep her monitored until we can get this fire under control!"

All of a sudden the top floor of the building exploded again, causing everyone around to duck down to the ground. Glancing up, Y/n stared in horror as the top floor was covered in flames, there was absolutely no way anyone could have still been there, and if they were, they were gone.

Y/n body slacked, and the two cops who were just having to hold her back had now let their hands loosen their grip. Y/n was still on the ground, tears had fallen harder from her face at this point, but she was silent.

Batman looked down at her, he took a step forward but had to stop himself. He was about to comfort her but knew this wasn't the time. Turning back around he told himself this was the right thing to do, at least for now. Batman felt her eyes on him, he knew she was furious with him, he knew she wanted nothing more then to wish Batman and Bruce Wayne had traded places, but he didn't have time to explain to her that he knew Bruce Wayne was out of that building, that her husband was safe and she could see him soon. Instead he said the only thing that he knew could come from both Batman and her husband. "I'm sorry."

Y/n watched as the cape crusader rushed away, going to help the rescue crew and to get anymore civilians they couldn’t reach from just their equipment. She barley heard the apology from him, she felt empty at that moment, still on the ground as the tears kept going. Feeling a bit of warmth around her shoulders she looked up to see Jim. He put a blanket from one of the EMT trucks on her, a look of sympathy in his eyes. He moved some hair that was in front of her face, looking at the officers who were still behind her. "Take her to my squad car, keep someone by her till I get done here."

Jim walked away, joining the rest of the crew that were still escorting several more civilians out of the building. Y/n looked to see one of the officers crouched down next to her, holding out his hand he smiled sadly at her. Putting her hand is his, she let him help her up, walking towards Jims squad car with the blanket wrapped tightly around her.

A couple of hours later, everything had calmed down. People who were injured were rushed to the hospital, the ones who weren't and had evaluated were ether on the phone with family or still getting checked out by EMS. A few people had even started to get interviewed by a few reporters who were covering the scene.

Y/n still had the blanket that Jim gave her, walking around some of the building she looked at all the rubble that was spread everywhere. Jim was still talking to a few rescue crew and hadn't gotten a chance to make his way to her. She held the blanket tight around her. It was dark now and the only thing lighting the building was some construction lights and the one helicopter that had been flying above for twenty minutes now.

She knew they were still doing a count on the people who made it out and the people taken to the hospital. It was difficult since their scanner had been destroyed to tell how many employees had clocked in today, but Y/n felt her heart sink at the thought that there would be one causality on that list.

Hearing the sound of footsteps behind her, Y/n didn't have to guess who it was. He wasn't trying to be quiet and the heavy boots were a dead giveaway. She didn't bother to turn around, she just continued twisting her wedding ring on her hand.

"Mrs Wayne." His voice was deep but it held some softness to it, nothing like how he talked to her earlier. "You should really get back to commissioner Gordan, the building hasn't been cleared to be stable yet."

No response.

"Mrs Wayne."

Again, nothing.

"Y/n-"

"I don't care." She said.

"What?"

"I said, I don't care. This whole building could fall on me for all I care."

Batman didn't say anything. He walked up from behind and softly placed his hand down on her shoulder. The moment his hand landed she quickly turned around and attempted to slap him. He grabbed her wrist right before her hand made contact with his face, she was too slow for him. "Mrs Wayne-"

"You let him die!" tears started to form again. "He was up there and you lied! He couldn't have made it out in time, he was still there!" Completely crying now, Y/n stared at Batman, her grip still struggling against his as she tried to free her hand. She swung again, this time the other arm, but he blocked that one too. He had both wrists in his hands, attempting to keep her still but she was fighting against him. Her blanket had fallen off her shoulders at this point and tears were still falling down her face. He didn't wanna let her go until she had calmed down but it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon, she just kept fighting more. They were far enough away from the rest of everyone that nobody had noticed or even heard her crys.

Batman looked around once more just to be sure there wasn't any glancing eyes. He let go of one of her hands, which she used as a chance to pound on his chest over and over. She was like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Batman shot one of his bat rings to a nearby building roof, using his other hand, he let go of her wrist and wrapped his free hand around her waist, forcing her forward against his chest.

The sudden momentum made Y/n grip his shoulders, but as soon as both their feet left the ground she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist; holding on for life as she let out a scream right next to his ear.

Batman landed, but Y/n hadn't moved from her position. She was wrapped tightly around him, her breathing was heavy and her face was still buried in his neck. He slowly brought his hands up to her back, trying to cradle her as she calmed down.

As if that was a wake up call, Y/n quickly jumped down and pushed him away. "What is wrong with you?!" She asked in frustration. Backing away from him, Y/n started to pace. She was running her hands though her hair.

Batman just stood there watching her, he was debating with himself. Wondering what he should do next.

"Get me down from here." Y/n demanded. "Get me off this roof, I wanna go home!"

"Y/n-"

"No!" She screamed. "Stop, just stop. Please." She was crying again, only this time she sounded desperate, not sad. "I just lost the one person that means everything to me- I can't- I." And that was it. She broke. Falling to her knees again, she buried her face in her hands. "Please."

He couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn't watch this. It might’ve just been easier to leave her and show up later out of the mask, but he didn't wanna lie to her anymore. He didn't wanna keep pushing her away with only knowing half of him, only bound to assume the worst in what he was really hiding.

Walking slowly towards her kneeling down to her level, he took off his mask, but she hadn't risen her head from her hands, she was still shaking her head slightly and mumbling something he couldn't make out.

"Y/n. Look at me." He said it so gently, just like he were to tell her good morning.

She hadn't moved or even bother to respond.

"Y/n, sweetheart." He took his hand and gently gripped her wrist in attempt to pull it away from her face.

"Stop, leave me alone. Please, go away." Her voice was scratchy from all the crying, she sounded so exhausted. "Batman, please, just leave me here and go."

"I can't do that." He tried again with her wrist, this time more successful.

Her hands were away from her face now, but her eyes were still looking down. "Why?" She asked, wiping some of her face.

"Because, we made a promise until death do us part."

Y/n froze, her breath had hitched and she slowly looked up. Expecting to come face to face with a dark mask, she was instead greeted with the most beautiful blue eyes, the same blue eyes that made her fall in love in the first place.

He cupped the side of her cheek, his thumb gently wiping some of her tears that were still falling. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you."

Y/n stared blankly at him for a minute, taking in his attire, she stayed dead silent. Bruce for the first time couldn't tell what she was thinking. She was normally easy to read for him, but this time was different, this time she was expressionless. Her hands slowly raised to his face, gently running her fingers across his jaw and to his forehead. Before Bruce could say anything, she threw herself at him, her arms wrapping around him tighter than earlier and her whole body pushed up against his.

Bruce sat down pulling her into him. He kissed the side of her head, as he rubbed his hands up and down her back, breathing in her scent since he was closer now.

The both of them stayed like that for several minutes, taking in the silence.

Y/n pulled back, wiping her eyes she did her best to compose herself despite the red puffiness her eyes gained from crying so much.

Bruce tucked some fallen hair behind her ear, keeping his hand there he stroked the side of her cheek. “Y/n I’m-“

“Alive.” She cut him off.

Confused, he waited for her to continue.

“You’re alive, I don’t care about anything else.” She brought her hand up to his that was on her face. “I don’t care about anything else but that.”

“Not even-“

“That you’re Batman? Geez Bruce, I couldn’t have thought of a better outcome. I rather you be here in front of me wearing the Batman uniform then somewhere buried in that rumble.”

He nodded slowly, understanding what she was getting at. “I’m sorry. For everything, before and now.”

Y/n tucked herself under his arm, wrapping her arms around his body. “We can talk about you lying to me this whole time later, but for now, let me have this…. Let me have you, just for a moment.”

Bruce kissed the top of her head, bringing her closer to his body he watched over her head to the scene below.

There would be time to figure things out, to talk over the past several years and catching up on the secret life he had been hiding, knowing he was gonna have to be ready for any consequences from her.

“Bruce?”

“Hmm?”

“Just to be clear for the moment, this doesn’t change anything, sure I’m mad. But I love you and knowing what I do now, that hasn’t changed.”

“Why are you-?”

“I can sense how tense you are, I know you’re worrying about what I think, but I’m not leaving, you couldn’t pay me enough.”

Bruce laughed, feeling what was starting to build up as stress slowly be let go. She could read him just as well as he could read her, and that was something he would always value when it came to her.

Standing up, Bruce put back on his head piece. "Alfred should be here by now, I'll meet you at home, I should help Gordan a bit longer."

Holding his hand out she held his as he helped her up. "Ok, I will see you at home then." Y/n looked down at their joint hands, she looked back up to Bruce and on instinct she leaned forward to kiss him goodbye, before she got too close she stopped herself. Realizing she was about to kiss batman and not her husband, she thought he wouldn't have liked that. "Be careful." Y/n turned around and started to walk away, before she got too far she felt a gentle but firm tug on her hand.

Batman pulled her back to him, his free hand going to her face to pull her lips to his. He kissed her hard, but nothing too aggressive. He felt her relax against him, knowing this is exactly what they both needed. Reluctantly pulling away, Batman looked down to her and wiped away a few stray tears that fell. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

Nodding, Y/n took a step back, watching as the caped crusader walked towards the edge of the building, he glance back at her for a few moments, she smiled at him, feeling her heart slip as her shot out a line to another building and jumping away.

[winglesswren]

solitude; serenity

fandom/pairing: arcane, jayvik

chapter: 1/4, 1.5k words

ao3 🔗 https://archiveofourown.org/works/61568524

(fic is currently archive locked; subject to change if i get brave and/or recieve any positive feedback but i am a coward)

posting chapter one in this format as well as on the archive; full chapter under the cut, below fic summary

edit: page break didnt work im a mobile user i will fix it tomorrow from my laptop before work

summary:

Viktor hesitates for a moment, but it seems Jayce is truly asleep. He brings one hand up, slowly, and cups Jayce’s jaw in his palm, letting his thumb swipe across his cheek affectionately.

Jayce is always so full of jittery anxious energy, buzzing around and chattering about whatever crosses his mind, never stopping for air. It’s nice to see him so relaxed like this. Something in Viktor’s chest contracts at the trust that Jayce is putting in him, to allow him to see him so unguarded.

Selfishly, Viktor wishes that he could bottle this up and live in it forever. He wishes that nothing ever had to change. Wishes that he deserved this softness that Jayce has given him, this unconditional kindness and love that he could have had seven years ago if things had been just a little different.

If he had been just a little braver.

(full chapter under the break)

A/N: boom baby chapter one of four here we go! merry christmas and happy holidays to all, and a HUGE shoutout to my friend milo @dykelizard for beta’ing this for me because i was this 🤏 close to just giving up on the whole thing and scrapping it

It’s still dark when Jayce flinches awake, the blankets wrapped around his legs and holding him immobile. His bad leg aches in protest, and he winces as he untangles himself from the cocoon and slips from the bed.

He glances over his shoulder, running a hand through his hair, and softens at the sight that greets him.

Viktor is still asleep, curled on his side with his hair falling softly over his face. He still hasn’t cut it, although he had brought it up to Jayce once, right after they had fled. Jayce had just hummed, twirling a strand around his finger and murmuring that he should do what made him feel comfortable.

It hasn’t been brought up again, but Viktor hadn’t cut his hair, and Jayce had noticed the scissors that had been on the corner of the bathroom counter were back in the cabinet.

Viktor looks younger like this, eyes closed and face relaxed. As if he carries less of the tension and grief that he holds to his heart when awake, although there is still a blip of something in his expression that refuses to let go of his guilt. Jayce wishes he could soothe it.

Instead, he just reaches out and smooths a hand over Viktor’s hair, tucking the errant strands behind his ear and brushing his thumb across his cheekbone.

His partner shifts under his touch, exhales, but doesn’t wake. His face is still lined with exhaustion, and Jayce knows that he hasn’t been sleeping well, although he refuses to talk to Jayce about what’s haunting him, keeping him awake deep into the night.

For now, though, Viktor is asleep, and Jayce pulls back his hand before he wakes him. For a moment, Viktor presses forward, chasing his hand, and his brows furrow, but almost immediately he curls back in on himself and calms.

Jayce has been staring for far too long, he realizes with a start. He turns his back and pads into the hallway, pushing the door until it’s only open a sliver. The rest of the house is quiet and cold, the lack of lights and the clouds covering the moon leaving a chill in the air. Jayce tamps down on a shudder and slips out the front door onto the porch.

There are no stars, but with the heavy fog, Jayce is unsurprised that the sky is hidden. He does miss the view, though. With winter edging closer, it’s been days of relentless cold and damp. But stars are a rare sight here anyways, wherever the arcane has spat them out. It’s quiet, and beautiful, but it’s a change. One that Jayce still isn’t sure he’ll ever fully adjust to.

He sits down hesitantly at the edge of the grass, tucking his bad leg under him and wincing as the muscles contract in a spasm at the movement. It’s been months and still the deep ache doesn’t subside. The bones had healed wrong, ever so slightly, and Jayce tells Viktor over and over when it gets bad that he just slept on it wrong, that he twisted his ankle going down the stairs, that he must have just landed wrong on his foot walking back from town.

He can tell Viktor barely believes him.

A sudden weight at his side startles him, and he jolts, but it’s just Viktor, settling down beside him and making himself comfortable on the grass without looking over at Jayce at all.

There is a brief silence, where neither of them move, and then Jayce steels himself and scoots closer, wrapping an arm around Viktor’s shoulders. He doesn’t pull away, to Jayce’s surprise, and if anything, nudges a little closer.

“I woke up and you had left. Why are you out here in the cold?” Viktor’s voice is low and raspy with sleep, and Jayce has to swallow around the sudden urge to press a kiss to his cheek and pull him closer.

He clears his throat roughly to shake the image from his mind and refocuses on Viktor’s question. “I, ah. I couldn’t sleep, so I just. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Viktor raises an eyebrow. “It’s November, Jayce. You could have stayed in the kitchen or on the couch. What is really bothering you?”

Jayce looks away, heat rising in his face, pulling back and turning towards the sky. His eyes widen. “Viktor,” he breathes, pointing.

Viktor reluctantly follows his gaze.

There are stars poking through the fog. Hundreds, thousands of tiny pinpricks of light in the sky, dim through the haze. “I haven’t seen stars since…” Viktor’s voice trailed off, and Jayce just shuffles to rest his knee against Viktor’s.

”Yeah. Me neither.”

Jayce feels Viktor’s breath puff against his neck as he shifts to look up at him. Slowly, like he thinks Jayce will take flight like a frightened animal at the wrong move, Viktor shifts closer, leaning his head against Jayce’s shoulder. He stays that way for a long moment, frozen, until Jayce finally gathers his wits enough to bring his arm back up and wrap it around Viktor’s shoulders again, this time tucking him tight against his side instead of loosely holding him.

”It’s beautiful.”

Viktor hums. “It is,” he agrees, but his eyes never leave Jayce’s face.

They sit together, silent, until the chill bites through the sweater Viktor has thrown on and a tremor ripples through his body. Jayce is immediately on alert at his side, sitting up straighter.

”Are you cold?”

Viktor considers lying, considers shaking his head and pressing into Jayce’s side and prolonging this moment a little longer, but before he can decide, a breeze rips past them and he shudders violently before he can tense up against it.

Jayce clambers to his feet, dragging Viktor up with him. “You should have told me, it’s too cold for you to be sitting out here without a jacket,” he scolds.

Viktor scoffs, but allows himself to be dragged back towards the door. “You came out here first. I just followed you.”

Jayce throws a glance over his shoulder as he tugs Viktor inside and then spins to shut and lock the front door. “You don’t have to follow me everywhere. I was going to come right back in.”

The mood shifts, just for a moment, but Jayce catches it, biting at the side of his lower lip. It’s raw from him chewing on it already, Viktor notices. A worried habit that he never managed to kick. It’s familiar. “I’m sorry,” Jayce blurts, unprompted. “I’ll stay inside, next time. I didn’t mean to… worry you or anything.”

That’s…startling? Not what Viktor expected him to say at all. He blinks. ”I just wasn’t expecting you to be gone. You can wake me up, if you need something. No sense in secrets, Jayce.” He smiles, a little more bitter than he means, but Jayce seems to understand.

”I know,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I know, I just…you don’t sleep well anyways anymore, and I didn’t want to ruin what little sleep you were getting.”

Viktor raises an eyebrow, expression going just a bit cross, and Jayce automatically braces himself for the rebuke. It’s the same exasperated, fond look Viktor used to give him in the lab six years ago when he would work himself into the ground and Viktor would have to haul him back to his apartment before their combined sleep deprivation caused another explosion.

Instead of arguing back, however, Viktor just turns and starts towards their room again, barely sparing a glance back when Jayce doesn’t move. “Coming?”

”Right! We should…yes. Yeah. Coming.” He scrambles after Viktor, closing the door behind them and flicking on the lamp on the bedside table.

“You should change,” Viktor hums, already moving to slip out of his own slightly damp clothing. “You have grass stains on your knees.”

He does, Jayce is startled to find, when he pulls the fabric taut and glances down. His knees are a muted green. He’ll need to wash them tomorrow. Tomorrow? Today? He isn’t sure of the exact time.

“Are you going to stare at the floor all night, or come back to bed?” Viktor teases, and Jayce snaps out of his little trance and strips his shirt and jeans off, pulling on the soft sleepwear that Viktor chucks at his face.

”I’m coming. Don’t be impatient,” he jokes back, and Viktor huffs a small laugh.

”Have you ever known me to wait for anything?”

Jayce rolls his eyes. “You’re a fast learner.”

They lapse back into comfortable silence as they both dress and then Viktor curls up back under the blankets against the wall. Jayce awkwardly clambers in after him and draws his body up against the edge of the bed, carefully keeping a couple of inches between their shoulders.

Viktor is the first to fall back asleep, breaths evening back out as he slips back under. Jayce stays carefully on his side of the bed until he knows Viktor is asleep, and then relaxes as much as he dares, eyes closing against his will.

For as much as he was awake ten minutes ago, he’s still exhausted, and it’s catching up to him.

Viktor shifts, humming contentedly as he pushes himself against Jayce’s side and tucking himself under his arm.

Jayce doesn’t have it in himself, nor does he have the room, to pull away.

(He’s asleep before he can even really consider it anyways.)

[lumilasi]

Illustration for The Void's Echo fic, bc I honestly miss doing art for my writing (or other people's writing I like for that matter tbh, I just haven't really had that much time to read myself lately)

I was wondering if I should do all the art for this story in the digital painting style, or use my more usual lineart-including one sometimes. I think I'll do both, the painting style takes longer after all.

Anyway, I THINK this is based on this scene on chapter 1, (Jayce's part anyway, I'm not gonna go into a full explanation as to what is going on here rn) but there might've been another, similar one later:

Because he felt very tired still, his body and mind drained with the kind of exhaustion you felt in your very bones, your core, he spent most of the day just resting, or watching Viktor sleep, unable to look away everytime he was awake. Viktor wouldn’t move, wouldn’t react to anything, not his voice, his fingers brushing his hair or cheek, nothing. He was there, but Jayce also felt, horribly, like he wasn’t. Like he was just looking at an empty shell. The body was there, but the mind, the consciousness was gone. His hostess spent most of the day outside, she was apparently genuinely a healer, and not just somebody who could help his specific case. Jayce was thankful for that, honestly, not wanting her to bore witness to the pathetic sight of him hanging around Viktor’s bedside, sitting on the floor beside him like a sad little puppy. He just….he felt physically sick, going too far from Viktor right now, and Jayce wasn’t certain if he was just that pitiful, or if something more was at play.

Either way, once night settled over the strange town with the colorful skies changing from their pastel pinks and teals to deep blues and purples, Jayce finds himself laying on his bed again, unable to sleep. He stares at Viktor across from him, desperately hoping he’d do something, anything. Just move his head, flutter his eyes, some sort of sign he was still there.

Nothing.

No matter how much he waited, how much he wished so, Viktor’s visage didn’t change, he just laid there silent, his glowing hair somewhat reflecting the colored lights outside. Jayce sits up slowly, watching his sleeping partner in the silence of the night, before slipping out of bed as quietly as he could. Granted his hostess was sleeping on the second floor, but he still didn’t want to disturb her: Mariella was a busy woman, her profession highly important, and he already felt like she was worried enough about her patients, and her away family. Jayce hadn’t dared to ask what they were up to, and it was none of his business anyway. He makes his way across the short distance, feeling the painful ache in his chest ease the closer he got. For a moment, Jayce just stands there, hesitant, not knowing what to do. He needed to be closer, he couldn’t sleep with that hollow feeling on his chest, but part of him felt…uneasy, uncomfortable. Viktor was unaware or everything around him, would he even want Jayce this close after everything that transpired? He’d managed to convince him in the end, but…

Jayce feels a sudden sting of pain in his chest, strong enough to collapse to the floor, curling to himself as he sat there back against the side of the bed, just panting and trying to weather it. He was starting to suspect this was indeed something more. This pain wasn’t coming from his body, but his soul. It sounded insane, but he had a strong feeling it was true.

Once his breathing eases, Jayce turns his head, able to study Viktor’s features from his spot, the faintly glowing hair framing his pale face so beautifully. He looked almost angelic right now, because of the strange effect his hair was having, making Jayce wonder why that was. Why his hair had turned normal, but Viktor was still glowing. Turning to face him properly, Jayce reaches for the pale hand resting next to him, pulling it off the bed and bringing it to his lips. He could feel Viktor’s heartbeat through his wrist, a sensation that seemed to ease the aching he felt. He turns the hand around to kiss his palm as well, holding onto it with both hands. Jayce felt like a coward, wishing he’d done this ages ago, shown Viktor how he felt before it was too late. Maybe all of this could’ve been prevented, if only he could’ve made him see how valuable he was, how much he—he—

Jayce let’s out a shaky gasp, clutching the limp arm in his grasp as the pain within him worsens. It gets so bad for a moment he fears he was going to pass out from it. He scrambles off the floor after a moment in what he could only describe as instinct of some sort, climbing next to Viktor on the bed to pull him tight against his chest, burying his face against those glowing locks. It was so pitiful, so pathetic, he felt like an addict unable to cope with any distance between them right now. Even the fairly thin bedsheet still between them felt like too much, and Jayce wanted nothing more but to slip under it as well, so he could mend himself against the pale skin beneath, hold him as close as he physically could.

He doesn’t.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

[kindahoping4forever]

Pretend I gave this a hinged and appropriate caption

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[vhvrs]

so many hcs for viktor feel like hcs for akechi i either was kinda too nervous to talk abt or were things i only talked abt privately... grateful i had that springboard to finally just go for it on a character i wasnt totally embarrassed to talk abt like that so when i did get back to akechi, i lost any of the shame holding me back. sorry viktor u become akechi but worse thru me tho.

[claitea]

i wish pokemon would do more characters who betray you but at the same time if they did it wouldnt work anymore

the reason characters like dusknoir and volo are so cool to me is bc pokemon is about friendships! its about bonds and the strength you draw from relying on people and helping them in turn! so when a character suddenly reveals they've been using you it sucks so bad and it rules!!! volo esp is so cool rn bc unlike dusknoir, so far we haven't seen him turn a new leaf. dusknoir's story still ends in the companionship pokemon promotes but for volo its still up in the air what happened to him. but anyway point is, betrayal plots are so cool in pokemon's context i love it sm

[mccleans]

tiptoeing on the edge of a panic attack at work

[slutdge]

Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.