#Anyway I got to the part again and I was Angery on behalf of the book

[kindlythevoid]

“Then holding the star aloft and the bright sword advanced, Frodo, hobbit of the Shire, walked steadily down to meet the eyes [of Shelob, Ungoliant’s spawn].”

The Two Towers pg. 373

If anyone tries to tell me that Frodo Baggins was less brave then Sam I will fight them.

Look, I love the movies and not one post ago was I waxing poetic about it. But. I can never forgive Peter Jackson for separating Frodo and Sam before they get into Shelob’s Lair. It made Frodo seem, idk, stupid? For going into a cobweb-filled tunnel alone?? LIKE. MY DUDE. THE BEST PART IS THE TWO OF THEM TRYING TO FACE SHELOB TOGETHER!!! Yes, it’s just Frodo in the quote I picked but not one page before this it was Sam who had reminded him of the phial they had. You don’t separate Sam and Frodo!!! You just don’t!!! Not unless they are both fully aware!!!

[lordxgrinnyxboy]

watching london tgm! pt 2!

they actually carry clarence in in his coffin????

Kupsak sounds Different

OOOOOOOOOOH THAT WAS OSRIC’S VOICE THAT DID THE “Will our land at last be free” LIKE THE LINGERING ECHOES OF THE TRELAW SPIRIT. NICE.

the voice he used leaves me with no doubt he could’ve been another amazing Gwynplaine.

“Get out” WAS OSRIC LITERALLY THERE DID OSRIC STRAIGHT UP GO BUST A FUNERAL

 OOOOH IT’S THE TRELAW REBELLION NOW. SPECIFICALLY THE TRELAW REBELLION. THE REBELLION BELONGING TO TRELAW.

for just a second i was living in a world without Barkilphedro but there he is, man, there he is. i was surprised to see him.

ooooh. oooooh “Angelica has not emerged from her chambers for almost exactly 20 years, during which time, she has not uttered a single word” WHAT?

DON’T SEND SPIKE TO GO GET HER WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU

off topic but getting back to the previous post if the “father she’ll never see” was part of the inscription and Ursus gave it to her then he’d know about it so it can’t be that did the MOM get her a necklace that said she’d never see her father??? was the mom like “ope we gotta pack up and sail away without your dad but lemme get you a cool trinket first” or was there no inscription and Ursus is just assuming that it was the dad who gave her the necklace but it was actually the mom and the mom got a necklace for Dea without telling Ursus but hold up aren’t they poor? wouldn’t somebody have known? do they have separate bank accounts? did the mom say “well I got our unborn child a present but it’s a surprise you’ll find out later” why a necklace that says “dea”? did the mom name her without consulting Ursus? how’d she know wh-? was she going to name the baby ‘Goddess’ regardless of gender? (valid?) was she asking a goddess to protect the baby??? did she have the baby, immediately go get her a little trinket, and then freeze to death? was ‘Dea’ a deliberate move or was it just the last name trinket in the shop? Were all the  “Makynzeiye” necklaces taken? I Have Questions About This Necklace

anyway

the other version always makes me feel almost like Barkilphedro murdered the king himself. i don’t get that so much in this one but i do get the impression he Knows What He’s Doing with this speech and is Doing It On Purpose. Having A Good Time, as it were.

angelica????

oh my

“SWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE” uhm

b-bird noises?

ooh she’s actually. calling out the corruption of her father. good girl angelica.

“I will make this country great again” did they. have. to say that. did they have to. was it necessary. why make me think about that man. why do that to me. london has no rights u-u

wHAT we’re back in the cart? No JoJo?

london gets rights for the fact that Gwyn’s crouching. that is a very good crouch sir, perfect.

“with mojo and father...GAH” oh gwyn :(

that hit him so hard so sudden like :(

FIDDLIN WITH THE BANDAGES IS CANOOOOON IT’S CANOOOOOOOON I AM VALID! I’M VALID! I KNEW IT! I THOUGHT SO! YES. YES. WOOHOO

gwyn your arm

the drama of that dismount. the delicate self-yeet. incredible.

WHY IN HEAVEN’S NAME IS YOUR SHIRT TUCKED IN YOU STOP THAT THIS INSTANT

“please help me find” gwyn what is she supposed to do, google it?

CROUCH

oh here we go

that was terrifying jojo

jojo that was terrifying

the dance is. worse.

pleeeease no please no please no pl

where did she get that

i am scared for my life rn

JOJO STOP

ohhh i’m dreading Brand New World. can’t believe i’m gonna have to watch Gwynplaine Trelaw literally be killed for sport. she’s gonna snap him like a twig 😭 

JOJO I AM BEGGING YOU TO PUT THAT DOWN

i am so scared of this jojo i am so

oh JOJO’S gonna offer to make the scuttling dream a reality???

book canon right there

😱😬😭

in this one she literally warns david personally to his face he’s got no excuse let’s go david wygd

but sure let’s go to the fair

i don’t hate this david but he’s like the mellow, zero-energy edition.

he bouncin

he’s turned into a starfish???

i hate Bristol!Jojo’s costume so bad but dang if i haven’t gotten used to it and now this one’s a little weird

i’m not strong enough tbh

dirry-moir just crouched and i’m gonna have to sue for copywrighte on gwynplaine’s behalf. i’ve apparently lost my ability to spell

idk man these people are just incredibly scary

oh thank goodness that part’s over

london!gwyn looks like a hobbit that’s been stretched out. like a screenshot of Mr. Elijah Wood in Unexpected Journey, but it’s been pasted into MS Paint and then stretched out a bit and then squished down and stretched out again and somehow pasted back into the movie.

i am genuinely so grateful we get another cart scene. i need time to recover from never seen a face.

the dynamic feels different in this version

awww the shoulder pat :3

this Gwyn is a whole other person. he’s both Calmer and More Wound Up. at the same time.

😭 he just 😭 literally choked 😭 i can’t 😭 he just fell right over 😭 wilted like a flower 😭 howm i supposed to cope with this 😭 

Don’t pat him so hard Ursus for pity’s sake DX

aw we’re not doing Born Broken in front of an audience this time? rights are evaporating.

is Gwyn even alive rn i think he straight up died

did he take the medicine yet?

Ursus are u touching his face?

HE’S HAVING A WHOLE SEIZURE

What Was That Move

i have lost my ability to exhale

i think Gwyn’s doing a physical impersonation of a fish being mercilessly dragged from a lake by a grappling hook thrown from a moving speedboat

i do like how Ursus crouches down to their level while they’re on the ground

love how Mojo looks over like “are y’all seeing this”

LOOK AT THE SMILE OF YOUR MOTHERL

THAT’S WHY URSUS FREAKIN SNAPS

Ursus is holding Gwyn by the wrist and just shaking his arm as punctuation like “I CANT tell you ANYthing you DON’t already KNOW” URSUS STOP

GWYN TRIED TO PULL AWAY AND URSUS YANKED GWYN’S ARM

URSUS YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS

i mean i always thought the near hysteria was valid and acceptable but you know what Gwyn is MORE than allowed the “NOOO NOT TODAY” line. he can HAVE IT. understandable. he did nothing wrong.

someone’s drinking a beer

i’m sorry but the way he just climbed through that curtain was hilarious

it’s too calm. mr. maskell you’ve got three seconds to lose your damn mind and go absolutely OFF

BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING

CLAP

twinge

this one doesn’t have enough hysteria but it gets points for being even more boneless

lost an elbow again

here we go his brain’s going AGSHAFUIABNAVSBKJAG AGFYAIAFIguAI here we go it’s happening i can see the sparks

MR MASKELL PLEASE

GWYN YOUR ARMS

YOUR SPIN GWYN

that right there was what medical professionals commonly diagnose as a Religious Experience.

his pantlegs are even shorter in this version

OH HE JUST YANKS THE BANDAID RIGHT OFF.

jojo please

hangon i gotta go back and see him in Zero Bones mode one more time that was actually so personal

i must say that rewind was Flawless. without even looking i took it back exactly to him coming through the curtain. at myself goodjob man

i would like to formally apologize to myself for just having the “talent show au” thought. stop that.

WIGGLY FINGERS ON “WALKS IN THE NIGHT”

can’t believe i’m in love with an overcooked linguini noodle

he is So Floppy it genuinely hurts to even look at and honestly i love that for me. I’m living. i’m about to watch this scene a third time in a row see if i don’t

it really is a little low on the sheer manic vibe but at the same time it kinda has the energy of if you climbed into the washing machine or maybe dryer while the appliance is on? or if you got in the washing machine but you brought a toaster with you. and threw your phone in separate.

another perfect rewind let’s go I’M THE STUUUUUUUFF OF YOUR NIGHTMARES WAS I

his voice sounds like it’s coming from a vintage record player and it’s definitely in black and white with a smattering of static and just a slight flavor of tin and honestly i love that for me

Gwyn’s literally one of those old door stoppers you know like the little stick on the bottom of the door and sometimes you pull it all the way to one side and then let go and it’s like FWOBBLEFWOBBLEFWOBBLE and you’re like “OOOOOOH”

JEAN VALJEAN

ARMS UPPPPPPPP GO BACK AND BOIIIIIIIIIIING

LOVE that dude. Amazing.

did he just spit actually? he physically can’t? at least traditionally?

steppy leggies!

one more time and then i’ll move on. just one more.

rewound too far i’m now back at “Ursus If You Don’t Let Go Of That Boy’s Wrist”

come on through that curtain Gwynlit i am Ready for You.

I’M THE STUUUUUUFFFFF OF YOUR NIGHTM

i want this played at my funeral and i want mr. maskell to be there to dance to it

so i guess in this version his limbs just short-circuit at different times huh because i mean genuinely for real his elbows just seem to nope out every now and then

this right here is what mr. hugo meant when he said, if not in as many words, that you were a ten.

ARRRMMMS UP! ANNNND BAAAAAAACK AND

B O U N C E

he has the x factor

love how he just shuffles back through the curtain like that one gif of the yellow dude being absorbed into the bushes

JOJO I LOVE YOUR DRESS WHAT

Dirry-Moir’s voice is nice even if it’s Very Different

fr jojo that’s actually kinda cute

Osric my dear i Love You

and now they’re all dirilious

dilirius

dilirious

dileros

d e l i r i o u s ?

that

Dea and Gwyn just dropped out of the sky

awww mojo came to check on him

Mojo’s nudging at Gwyn’s arm and Gwyn’s Not Having It

Ursus you’re banned from touching him i am Mad At You

Gwyn’s having another attack in this version it is constantly happening. has this boy sipped any sauce yet?

he just stood up and now he’s like

HE’S DOING HAND FLAPS HE’S GOT FLAPPY HANDS HE’S ACTUALLY. WHAT. FLAP FLAP FLAP I LIKE IT I AGreE WITH THIS

ooh he reacts a little bit to “all the other fairground freaks”

FIDDLING WITH THE BANDAGES

Ursus sounds Angery

 oh. gwynlit :( he’s cryin :( on “I don’t believe you” :(

😭💀😭💀

these two have PROBLEMS in this version and i am Hurt

he’s doing hand things again

VOCAL THINGS

this is canon now

DEA JUST HELPED HIM WITH THE CRIMSON LETHE

it looked like he was too jittery or something so she puts his hand over his and helps him bring the bottle of crimson lethe up to his mouth

im really just filling up a shopping cart over here

did quake just clock ursus over the head or did someone get shot boy golly that was loud

wait though with the little noise that Gwyn did a second ago, we hear it after the crowd starts doing it but in-universe did they hear him do that at some point and now they’re imitating it 👀 

THAT CRISMSON LETHE JUST KNOCKED HIM OUT HE JUST FLOPPED FORWARD AND DEA HAD TO CATCH HIM 📝👀

oh. “The Grinning Man Is Not To Be Disturbed” is because he’s straight up out of it after having the medicine. oh no

Mojo just growled as Gwyn stood up and i heard it wrong and thought there was like a cartoon sound effect like “LOOK HOW FAST HE JUST STOOD UP. WOOSH.” but no it was a growly bark

he held onto Dea’s hand and kind of hopped over to the door that was neat

i’m gonna start holding everything i read Like That

shjshgsj he just held it Like that and Stared before switching to holding it normally and actually opening it

random Itch

her outfit really is cute though i like this costume

“who I aaaaaaaaaam” stop the voice is too good sir

okay but that maneuver really is illegal y’all ought not to have done that

wait wait lemme go back and

i don’t know how i feel about that

one more time lemme check lemme just ch

*phil collins voice* oh lord

there is no reason

gwyn sweetheart you are not strong enough. she will kill you.

i now know what song this reminds me of now and i’m so upset

why do they have the outside of the cart looking like a happy meal box

GWYN WHAT WAS THAT

he just did the squawkiest laugh oml

HOLD UP

“you must see or you’ll never know” “YOU’RE RIGHT! Something is changing! She wants to meet me!” WHAT IS THIS CONVERSATION

HE SOUNDS HAPPY

SHE KNOWS HE’S GOING TO MEET SOMEBODY AND SHE ACTUALLY KISSES HIM LIKE “You must go!” WHAT

boy i know you did not just finger-gun goodbye at the blind girl

he’s walking in place now and i’m crying

she told him he must go now and he took it so literally he left while she was still talking

THE WALKING IN PLACE THOUGH. IT’S IN SLOW MOTION. I AM DISTRAUGHT

did you just wave at someone Gwyn

he’s so doped up

i think he thinks he’s about to get beat

okay in this version he doesn’t Let Osric grab his hand Osric just kind of grabs him and then Gwyn snatches his hand away and Osric’s like “i’ve got a funny feeling in my hand” meanwhile Gwyn puts his hand up and looks at it for a second and shakes down his sleeve and then he’s all hands-on-hips and looking at Osric like >:?

i think he just did the sound with them

and he’s having another attack.

he just fell back and they caught him and one person grabbed his hand and yanked him forward and now they’re picking him up

idk think he knows he’s alive in this version

AJSHFAJGAH THEY’RE DOING HIM LIKE THE PUPPETS IN THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST DANCE SEQUENCE THEY JUST TOSSED THAT BOY LIKE A FRESHLY-LAUNDERED BEDSHEET

he ain’t well sir

that’s all for now!

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

What happens when reioka and I talk

reioka: For real?! Tony's tiny, not person sized?! ifdragonscouldtalk: No XD hes person sized in the fic But it would make it funny Imagine bruce trying to find a needle small enough to get a blood sample reioka: I mean... ask a bird vet probably ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony hanging off Steve's pinky finger by his tail reioka: The idea is very adorable, if impracticle ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky has a cat. The cat likes little tony. Tony does NOT LIKE the cat reioka: Awww. Wait like like "dinner" or like like "person!" ifdragonscouldtalk: We dont know. Tony screams when Cat gets within 3 feet. Steve keeps Cat out of the room now. reioka: Aw poor kitty lol Poor Tony "It's big! It's get sharps everywhere! EVERYTHING IS SHARP!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Bruce puts a filter in the tank. Tony doesnt like the filter. It swirls the water around and blows him away. Tony launches a war with the filter. Bruce is Not Happy. reioka: Smol Tony building tools with the rocks at the bottom of the tank, sacrificing one of his pieces of seaweed to tie them all together to fling into the filter and cause it to jam ifdragonscouldtalk: Hes smug af cuz he clearly Won until he sees Bruce's face o h s h i t reioka: Lmao does he even understand WHY he needs a filter Does he want to swim in his own excrement ifdragonscouldtalk: He lived in the ocean before reioka All he knows is before the waters were still and now they are Not He probably doesnt notice XD reioka: Lmao the waters were never still you water horse you were just too far down to notice

ifdragonscouldtalk: But ok tony getting so excited he flails around in the water and winds up tangled in seaweed He does Not Appreciate pepper taking a picture reioka: "Pepper I am suffering. This is abuse. I'm going to die here." "You are not going to die you dumb seahorse I won't let you." "*choking sound*" "...Are you crying--" Tony ducks further into the seaweed and mumbles no ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and steve storming in from opposite doors shouting whO MADE HIM CRY WHY "I'm not crying!" reioka: Lmao just the idea of them trying to threaten Pepper tho Like... what a death wish ifdragonscouldtalk: Im sobbing imagine some intern giving tony little barbie tools and shit and he gets so frustrated because "I know these are fake! They're plastic!" reioka: He lets go and they float to the top of the tank and he is at the bottom just glaring up at them like... "You've all betrayed me. I know they're plastic and I hate you." ifdragonscouldtalk: Im a g ine someone buying Real Seahorses and putting them in the tank and tony is so territorial and ends up actually just wrestling a bunch of them reioka: I just snorted water out my nose omg "MY tank. MINE. GET OUT." ifdragonscouldtalk: And the actual seahorses are just so curious about this Strange Seahorse They think hes just trying to bump bellies until he grabs ones snout and then theyre Angery reioka: OH NO What does an angry seahorse do [ifdragonscouldtalk sends a screenshot of seahorses fighting with their tails] ifdragonscouldtalk: Seahorses punch Tony with their tails. Tony wails. Theyre meanies. reioka: Wtf Tony you've got actual fists HIT 'EM BACK ALSO A TAIL What a whiny baby I love him ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony eventually emerges victorious They find them the next morning with the others cowering in the corner and the water very slightly pink Bruce is Not Happy reioka: Just name the entire series Bruce is Not Happy because that will probably always be his reaction to everything. ifdragonscouldtalk: Series starts Bucky -- hey yo stevie look at this weird fuckin fish i found Steve -- screams reioka: *snort* Everyone debates on whether or not he's technically a fish and he's just sitting there like "I'm a seahorse" but are you a FISH? "A seahorse." ifdragonscouldtalk: "What is your species" "Awesome" reioka: "What do you call yourselves?" "Our names? I'm Tony, in case you've forgotten." "No, I mean, as a group?" "A family? *gasp* Do you guys not have families, is that why you don't know?" An intern is crying in the background from the effort it takes not to laugh because Tony looks honestly distraught that they've never heard of a family. ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od Good reioka: Finally "Tony. Tony. Are you a fish?" "I'm a seahorse." "Seahorses are fish." "Then I gotta be a fish." Bruce screams in frustration in the background. They've been at this for hours. God damn it. ifdragonscouldtalk: Shoulda just googled it Tony compliments Bruce's singing because he's a gentleman But secretly wtf sort of singing is that reioka: LMAO if the real seahorses are still in the tank, just whispering to them "Did you hear that? Do they draw mates with that? Horrifying." ifdragonscouldtalk: The seahorses just look at him Bruce screams again reioka: Bonus if Betty is there for some reason and comes to see what happened and Tony gasps. "It worked!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Im crYING Whenever pep walks in the room now tony screams reioka: Bonus points: Pepper knows why and one time she screams back and Tony ducks back under the water, covering his blushing face. God I wish I could draw Just seahorse Tony covering his face and Pepper laughing good-naturedly in the background ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve spend the whole day trying to figure out why tony keeps blushing and why hes making a "mating hut" reioka: HAHAHA I wonder if Pepper feels bad for "leading him on" because come on, they don't--even have compatible parts, not even talking about the size difference ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony scoffs and says he knows and he was only joking and then literally just turns around and starts crying. Shes still standing there. TONY. reioka: TONY THE ENTIRE TANK IS SEE-THROUGH Aw now I feel really bad for him haha ifdragonscouldtalk: He'll be fiiiiiiine, natasha challenges pep to a fight on his behalf The fight pretty much entails nat biting and kicking peps hand with her tail, but w/e tony loves it reioka: "I will protect Tony's honor," Natasha tells everyone and then BITE BITE BITE Pepper pretends it hurts more than it does tbh Natasha beating the shit out of Pepper's hand Pepper wrapping it in bandages longer than strictly necessary because every time Natasha sees it she puffs up proudly and Tony looks pleased ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony still kisses all the band aids tho Cuz hes a whiny sweetheart reioka: Aw Natasha grudgingly tells Pepper she was a worthy opponent and Pepper glows for hours. ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony starts screaming at steve ans bucky instead reioka: One time when the humans go out for drinks Pepper gets sloppy drunk and cries and the others are like "What's wrong" and she's just like "God I just love these stupid fish so much" YEEE Are they smart enough to scream back or do they just get nervous because they think they've done something wrong ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my God pep I bet bucky screams back just for the heck of it and steve shrieks cuz hes startled but tones takes it for a scream. Tony glows "I got /two/ human mates nat" She screams at hill just because she likes a challenge and human women are Cute reioka: Natasha is daunted but if they hurt Tony she's gonna fight 'em anyway lol Lmao does Hill scream back OH Hill doesn't scream back but Natasha's just like "aw yisssss motha fuckin challenge" Tony supports Natasha's endeavors even when he thinks she's out of her mind ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony is a Good Bro Tonys new mating house tho Its glorious Nat helps him with it Bruces like "what are you doing" and tonys like "showing off for my mates" "Who?" "Bucky and Steve. They didn't say?" Bruce is Not Happy reioka: It's a good thing Bruce doesn't have Hulk powers because I assume literally everything we've said so far would make him turn into the jolly green giant. ifdragonscouldtalk: "You guys cant fuck the seahorse. It is physically impossible to fuck the seahorse." Steve actually chokes ifdragonscouldtalk: Real question: is clint a seahorse or a human Because i can see him accidentally almost killing Tony and Nat on a weekly basis and them loving it but i can also see him convincing Tony to do stupid shit with him like rock their tank off the table Bruce comes in and screams so loudly and tony looks at clint and goes "wow he really loves you" reioka: On one hand: "You wanna try coffee?" *pours coffee directly into tank. Everyone hates him. Tony and Natasha have not stopped vibrating for hours. They could have died. "MORE COFFEE! MORE COFFEE!" they chant, banging on the glass. Everyone HATES him. On the other hand: "That box they brought in looks interesting do you think you can throw me at it." Tony puts his engineering cap on and Bruce walks in just in time to watch Clint fly out of the tank, screaming, and lands on a pizza box with a splat. ifdragonscouldtalk: Im vibrating desperately as i try not to laugh Clint: puts an entire bar of chocolate in the tank, its gone in two hours, Tony and Nat are simultaneously in immense pain and doing theur best to tear the tank apart Or Clint: challenges natasha to a fight and sends everyone running when he screams because "SHE WAS GONNA RIP MY TAIL OFF" reioka: Lmao beautiful "She wouldn't have ripped your tail off," Tony tells him soothingly as Natasha gives Tony her best wtf face and mouths "yeah I would." ifdragonscouldtalk: Either way bruce screams and tony thinks theyre mates. reioka: Tony, whispering: Bruce must really like you, he screams an awful lot. Clint, thoughtful: ...We could make it work. Natasha: I dunno he screams at a lot of people? Maybe he's not monogamous. Bruce: *notices all three of them staring intensely and is somewhat uncomfortable* ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony: maybe he's what the humans call a player! Clint and Nat: *gasp* Bruce: why tf are they glaring at me what are they planning now ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine someone trying to explain to them that screaming =/= mating reioka: Tony: It worked for me??? In both cases??? Pepper's just not ready for children but I am and I understand that. Pepper: *spews coffee* Tony: But Bucky and Steve like me! :D Natasha: *smug* Maria likes me. *everyone turns to look at Hill* Hill: ...I have paperwork to do. ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve nearly have a heart attack when bruce askes when they were planning to tell him about the children reioka: Steve: Tony, we... can't have children. Tony: D: you... you don't want children with me? Bucky: That's not it! We, uh... we're physically incapable of. Conceiving. With you. Tony: ...WELL. You can't help that you're barren. Steve and Bucky: *bug-eyed* Tony: Maybe I could talk to Natasha. The fry wouldn't be your biologically but it's the love that matters. Bruce finds Steve and Bucky crying later and he doesn't want to ask but he does anyway. "It's the love that matters," Steve sobs, and Bucky adds, "That's so beautiful, holy shit." ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od If they did have children only one ends up having a normal name because bucky and steve are never quick enough to imprint on the fry reioka: Lmao LOL THE PREGNANCY Steve: So how many kids are we lookin' at, Bruce? Bruce: At least two dozen. Bucky: *faints* Bruce: Probably more. Steve: ...Can I afford that many children Bruce: GET OUT OF MY LAB. ifdragonscouldtalk: OH MY VGOD Pepper buys another bigger tank Clint and Nat start hissing at anyone who tries to touch tones except his mates reioka: Aw, little tiny ultrasound on Tony's belly! Bruce endures Clint and Natasha's biting with aplomb. ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky both pass out minutes into the labor and continue to pass out every time they wake up till its over By the time they wake up the last time theyre already named - dummy, you, cutie, friday, toast, stan Nat names one Hill and Hill is her Best Niece reioka: Lmao "Why Toast" "Why not Toast? Do you not like it? Well it's too late her name is Toast." ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky are crying. The seahorses think it's joy. Pep and Bruce are just patting their shoulders. Pepper thinks they shouldve seen it coming Clint names one Hawk just to piss ppl off reioka: Lmao Tony introducing all the fry to Steve and Bucky, "Children, these are your fathers. Steve, Bucky, this is" long list of names. They're never going to remember them all, they're terrible parents. Eventually Tony orders his children to tell them who they're speaking to because when they misbehave he wants to yell at the right one. "That's fair," the fry agree, and then start doing it for everyone except Pepper and Hill. reioka: Pepper: Isn't it... kinda cruel? Natasha: I heard a seahorse gave birth to fifty kids once. Some of them drift away because they're idiots that won't listen. One time my mom called me every name but mine. ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine how much Trouble clint gets them into reioka: Clint: Do you think with all these seahorses we could tip the tank Tony: Do not tip the tank. Clint: I bet we could. Natasha: Do NOT Fry: *cheerfully* TIP THE TANK! TIP THE TANK! Tony: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE CATCH THE TAAAAAAAAAAANK ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony and Natasha actually screeching Bucky and Steve catch the tank but tony is sobbing and panicking because his cHILDREN ARE GOING TO DIE LIKE IDIOTS reioka: Steve: *angry* DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR MOTHER. Bucky: Steve, you shouldn't yell at the kids. CLINT YOU LITTLE SHIT. Tony: *sobbing, gathering the fry to him frantically* Fry: *feel terrible* ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine them all going to the beach and all of them are hanging off Buckys hair and Steve is makin sure none of them drift away Tony is actually screeching in joy because a c t u a l s a n d Toast would prefer to be near Steve so she hangs on to his drawstring of his swimsuit Nat teaches Hill how to train and ride hermit crabs reioka: Tony: *cries* Look at my beautiful family. Bucky: Aw, doll. :) You don't have to-- Tony: MY FAMILY KICKS EVERY OTHER FAMILY'S ASS. Bucky: ...Doll. Steve: *laughs, chokes on sea water* ifdragonscouldtalk: Clint.... Challenges a blue crab,, to a fight Bruce has to save him reioka: Okay so hear me out -- Bruce and Betty are together but Clint just kind of gets inserted into their relationship because "I'm pretty sure he's lowkey trying to die" Bruce says and then Betty has a baby and Clint was like "Holy shit this thing is huge. I love her. She's mine now." Betty's amused. Bruce just sighs. ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Clint trying to get the baby to challege a crab to a fight reioka: Baby sitting on it and crushing it with her diaper. Clint: ...That works. Bruce: Stop trying to get our child to fight everything bigger than you, Clint! Clint: *starts crying* Bruce: Oh God what did I do Betty: *snorting, trying to get the crab to let go of the baby's diaper* You called her 'our' baby and he's included in the 'our' and he's happy you idiot. Bruce: Oh ifdragonscouldtalk: Natasha rides past on a hermit crab and clint starts blabbering to her and shes just like yeah? Can YOUR kid race hermit crabs Clint looks at Bruce and Betty. Bruce: No, our kid cannot- Betty: if you can find one big enough Bruce: BeTTY reioka: Betty: Oh my God Bruce he's never going to find a crab big enough. Bruce: I don't believe that. I believe he could find one. He regularly gets himself thrown out of the tank to steal my pizza. Betty: He's so tiny how much could he eat? Bruce: *stony silence* Betty: D: ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but Bucky with seahorses just hanging onto his hair. Theyre everywhere. He looks like a seahorse tree. reioka: Pepper takes lots of pictures. Bucky loves them. He'd thought about cutting his hair at one point but now that he has become the seahorse tree he vows to only have it trimmed. ifdragonscouldtalk: A horseshoe crab scares one of the kids and Tony's just like im gONNA FITE IT and Steve is like nO reioka: Tony manages to knock it upside down but it's so distressed by it that he gets Steve to turn it back over and it scuttles away in the opposite direction ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but also Clint and Tony and Natasha forcing pep to help them set up a 'human date' for Nat and Hill because yes reioka: Clint and Tony vibrating when they see Hill coming back with Natasha, ready to interrogate her on whether the date went well, but then Hill leans down and presses a kiss to Natasha's cheek (Well, her entire side of her head, but they intention is still there) and they squeal and then slap at each other to shut up because NATASHA IS BLUSHING OH MY KRILL ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Natasha is smug like "She's definitely my mate. She just hasn't done the ritual yet." Hill going to Coulson like "a fish is courting me" reioka: Coulson: Stranger things have happened. Hill: Not to ME ifdragonscouldtalk: Wwheezesx justin hammer,,, stealing them reioka: NOOOOO Can you imagine Tony, Natasha, and Clint trying to protect all the fry Trying so hard, but they all get taken anyway, and they know they couldn't really do anything against a human but they feel like they SHOULD HAVE ifdragonscouldtalk: Can you imagine,, tony breaking down,,, and justin trying to get them to breed. Cuz m e r m a i ds. And tony just telling him that if he touched the kids his mates would kill him reioka: Justin would probably curse himself for missing two seahorses But NAY TWO SUPER SOLDIERS ifdragonscouldtalk: ScReech can u imagine justin putting a little glowy tracking device in tonys chest reioka: Honestly I'm just imagining them all being so scared that their tails clutch at each other until they're just a big ball of trembling, teary seahorses WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I love it ifdragonscouldtalk: When they finally do come it's actually Maria who gets there first and she scoops up hill and nat and holds them desperately Just nuzzling them Bruce finds clint actually sobbing Steve and bucky beat justin mostly dead reioka: GOOD He deserves it ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony clings to steves fingers and cries while bucky gets the kids reioka: Steve presses desperate kisses all over Tony's body but his lips glance over whether the tracker is and Tony wails in pain and Steve is horrified because oh God what did Hammer DO Bruce physically stops Steve from walking over and crushing Hammer's skull under his boot because he needs to know everything Hammer did