#Anyway !!!! I might draw some gore maybe depends on how I feel

[stinkypeanutbutter]

OkayYyaya I’m weirdly excited to write this but hereeheheh :

What they do when they are nervous / nervous stims teheheh :

Ashlyn : Taps her foot repeatedly , plays with her braids , sways from side to side at a certain pace ( same 🫶 ) , scratches her skin at times , tip toes while walking ( she does ballet so it kinda just )

Taylor : Hums awkwardly , does that tapping thing with her fingers , bites her fingernails and pencils

Ben : normally has a pencil or pen in his hand so he tends to twirl or spin it around , cracks his knuckles ig , blasts music or something ( real )

Aiden : Picks at his fingers / skin ( it ends up bleding a lot 😿 ) , rocks back and forth , head banging ( if he’s really nervous )

Tyler : Paces back and forth , also talks to himself , grinds his teeth , crossed arms ( duh )

Logan : Leg shake thingy , counts his fingers in a rhythm , writes or thinks of little facts or stories he knows that are astrology related

What should I change or add Funky fellows 🤯🤯

[itwasnotahamster]

- Letters from the Dead - (Part 1)

Langhus, 21 March 1990 | © The Old Nick | Source: Letters from the Dead

The brackets will indicate possible context or corrections (sometimes commentary). - 💜

"Only Black is true, only Death is real!!! Gore is trend! Hello Nick! It's Dead here again. Hey- you're really good at drawing, I use to do some drawing stuff myself. I enclose something of it in this letter. Maybe we together can work something out, maybe even in Metal Destruction…? You asked of releases, if we need some artworks for that... Well we rarely give out much and as for the next release we'll probably have some photograph instead. But if we would need something that you might feel for help us out with I'll tell of it. So what we can use drawings for is for stuff like flyers, ads and letter­pages. So far I have done the drawings for that... well the main reason of that is that we have a (old!) xerox mashine and I'm the one in the band that 'can' draw. It's not so often that I have time left to spend hours or sometimes days by making drawings and too many don't like that kind of drawings I make (but fuck them wimps!). But onto the Deathlike Silence Prod. now. The 2nd edition of the 1st release on DSP. - Merciless is out now, the one you get here as promo. We're looking for distributors everywhere and everybody who can sell 10 (or more) records will receive a copy for free + that 10 records will be cheaper. As soon as this the 2nd ed. has paid, Imperator will go in studio.

Imperators LP will contain 8-10 songs (depending on how many "old demo songs" they'll use - but it'll be new trax as well) and it'll be entitled "The time before time". After that it'll probably be the colombian Masacre as the next release. Masacre will be very soon release a 7- inches with 3 demo songs on the greek label Scene of Love. That's a new started label and I hope they can give out enough copies, not limited ed. of it. Of course we give the bands free hands and they're not bounded to use at all, but I'm thinking of the fact that Masacre is selling so much... Only in Colombia their 1st, and only demo sold 1000 copies ( which is more than our Deathcrush demo has sold worldwide...). We can only press up 1000 copies each time of every edition of DSP, and the first ed. Of Merciless sold out as fast as we could pack and post it. This second ed. we recieved [received] for not a so long time ago will depend on how much stamps we can get, of how soon it'll sell out. In Norway it's very hard to sell records - it's far away from USA or South America and I don't think any real scene exists here. Do you think you can take care of some distribution/selling of DSP releases, or you maybe know someone else who's interested? [True dedication]. I think Merciless will be very easy to sell in Italy. Many zines exists there and we recieve many letters from there also. We also sell other records (given out by various underground labels) but it can be so different of what records of others releases we sell 'cos we usually don't get so many of them, so they sell out so soon. But anyway - I can tell of what we presently have got (except of Merciless)

LP's (£10000 + postage)

Agressor/Loudblast (split LP, France) "Licenced to thrash"

Arakain (Czechoslovakia, speed metal - I do not like this one!) "Thrash the Trash"

Nomed (France)... very boring mainstream... "Like..."

Abomination (USA)

Disharmonic Orchestra/Pungent Stench (Austria, split LP)

Malicious Intent (Canada) "Shades of black"

7's (£5000 + postage)

Asphyx (Holland, Limited ed. 1000 copies) "Mutilating Process"

Atrocity (Germany) "Blue Blood"

Pungent Stench (Austria) "Extreme Deformity"

Disharmonic Orchestra (Austria) "Successive Substitution"

Do not print this in Metal Destruction, I will explain it to you, ok. If you want any of these records above, please tell of how many and of what records so I can see how much the postage will be. Now over to Mayhem. For the first time we've been in studio and recorded 2 songs (first time with this line-up I mean). It'll be released on Chicken Brain Records, a swedish kind of underground label some time in this autumn. It'll be 8-19 other (swedish) bands on it, among them Merciless. I don't know the title of this compilation LP/CD. Our songs that'll be on it are "The Freezing Moon" and "Carnage". The Freezing Moon is a new one and pretty different from our other songs, as example it's a long guitar solo on a very long Doom part on it and that's because we wanted to have a solo at only one track (of our new ones). Carnage was made in '85 (!) so it's really old. It was on the 1st demo/reh - Pure Fucking Armageddon (released in only 100 copies and not available) but with the thought of the very bad sound on it we feeled for playing it again and try to keep the original sound of it. I'll tape these trax for ya but I'm not so sure of if it'll be enclosed in this letter or if I'll put this letter togeather [together] with the Merciless record but anyhow you'll get this tape. You can record it to others if you like to but please don't trade it, and I'll record some else bands too for filling out the rest of the tape. Have you heard of the INCREADIBLY KILLING GREAT band Tormentor from Hungary? Their demo is about 4 years old but it sounds like the Death/Black metal bands of today. We try to find out if they want a deal on DSP. But unfortunately they hardly speak any English at all so it seems like neither them or us understood it... We think of releasing a full-lengtht LP of Mayhem but it seems to take a fucking longtime before we got material enough for it... The only we know about it is a title that MUST be used - De Mysteriis Dom. Sathanas. That was about all future plans I can tell of I guess. I look forward to see Metal Destruction. There's a possibility that we can sell it also, but I can't say if for sure.

About Satanism... well, I'd like to join a very underground and Illful, Evil and Grim Coven. I think you know of the hassles by finding any or getting any contact with a such. I do NOT like what's created by Anton LaVey like 1st Church of Satan. I came in contact with a dude who's a degree in the American Satans Sons - Church of Satan and he explained of it has nothing to do with LaVey at all. I asked of if it does exist in Europe also and of what it is exactly... well he didn't reply. But I heard later thet Satans Sons shall exist in Europe but I still don't know in which countries it is. In Norway it's not much of this, but in Sweden (-I am swedish) that 1st Church shall be in Stockholm (the capital there) and it shall be about 5 churches built by satanic sects, used only by satanists, mostly it's under christian churches - like the one under "Mariakyrkan" (Mary's Church) in the South of Stockholm where the 1st Church of Satan use to hang around at. I know it exists really Dark covens that use human sacrifices and are eating human flesh - them are those I try to find. I do not know much about magic and I can't say I'm a practicer of it 'cos I havn't succed. What is depending on what one can do in magic (all of its kind) is of what books one can get...those are hidden in libraries and so hard to even see... 'cos of course they don't let anyone even see them. You must be a scientist or something like if you would see the microfilms of that kind of books. A great library of many various kinds of magical arts and the Blackest of Black Arts too is the British Museum in London. But it's so damned difficult to get ones claws on those books. One book I really wanna get is De Mysteriis Dom. Sathanas, unfortunately it exists only in one copy... are you practicing any magic and do you know of any covens? Have you seen/heard/felt anything supernatural? I have but I didn't understand much of what that was and I think the most of it was only so-called echoes from the past or the future [I am curious about this]. Do you know anything about astral planes and out-of body travelling? You seem to be into it and I agree about stupid trendmakers so it is something that I feel I can tell you of. I had a weird experience once, I had inner bleedings and it couldn't be found at x-rays so when it continued to bleed and bleed I finally fainted and dropped down the floor 'cos I run out of blood. The heart had no blood left to beat and my veins/artairs were almost emptied of blood. "Tecnically" I was dead. At that moment I fell down (into a door I heard of later) I saw a strange blue colour everywhere, it was transparent so I could, for a short moment, see everything in blue, till something shining white and "hot" surrounded me. What happened later is out of interest, I woke up when some ambulance men came and drove me to a hospital and there the bastards of surgery started to cut me up at the wrong side so I got a huge scar for that. However, it's someone I know who's had many out of body experiences and is using magic of various kinds and knows much more than I do of "supernatural" experiences, that I asked of this 'cos it was so strange about those colours. She told me that the first 'plane' in the astral world has the colour blue. The "earthly" plane has the colour black, then comes a grey one that is very near the earthly one and is easy to come to. The next one further is blue, and then it gets brighter and brighter till it "stops" at a white-shining one that can't be entered by mortals. IF any mortal succee enter it, that one is no longer a mortal and can not come back to the other planes nor back to this earth. After the white plane or level or whatever it goes further with other colour I don't know of, there only spirits and great sorcerers can travel. I was told that the white plane I then entered, without I knew it, was the dead world and I died. But I also got thrown back after a short time which very rarely happens. So of what I've heard of I have some kind of purpose to achieve here."

Reached the limit for this one, I will add on!

[waternstreams]

EVERYONE!

Number one....pls someone ask about my oc's my boreddd mind is dying of boredom 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

The rest is super long soo

I take art requests, for free, absolutely no payment needed and I usually and almost always go with my art style when drawing as well, FYI 😎

(It being free might change and instead of requests ill make it into actual commissions....I might start charging once I get a whole thing set up...and if i get a lot of requests I'd love to eaen a little extra for something I enjoy! But also you guys can enjoy art requests for free at the moment being!)

What I will draw for you guys:

•oc's

•small comic strips (I think that's what it's called??) (like 9 to 10 panels and maybe more if needed)

•characters from shows (in my art style)

What I won't/can't:

•Animals (maybe if they aren't too hard, I will exspecily if your oc or a character has a pet i will try really hard to make it look right)

•realism (don't have much practice with that and prefer representational art more anyway)

•NSFW things (you all should know what kind of things I mean....im not talking about blood and gore btw💀🙏🙏 and don't ever ask because im never gonna draw it :> )

•full backgrounds (it's not my Strongsuit and i promise it will look like a 2 year old made it if i did)

When I do draw things please expect to see, some shading to be wrong sometimes, clothes mabey not folding 100% accurately....and faces looking a little weird sometimes as well as hands. I'm no professional, but I enjoy art and am learning still because we all start somewhere. The things I listed above are definitely some of my struggles and things I'm working on 💪💪💪

But please feel free to give me an art request whenever. It could take afew hours to a afew weeks, depending on how many requests I get and how busy I am.

And if it is something like an oc, all I ask is I get some shape or form of a reference. Also, I can do full body, half, and just head, whatever you might prefer.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

Sooo that you guys don't have to ask anymore here is this! :))

ALSOOO IMPORTANT GUYS!

My DM'S are currently open! Alwaysss! So feel free to DM me whenever! Whether it be about art requests, rambling about your oc's or random stuff or just to vent I'm here for you all...why? Well because I want to be there for everyone and want everyone to feel welcome. Never worry about bothering me and just talk about anything! (No weird stuff tho...like NSFW things...ya know)💜💜

(Also DNI if:

•You are racist

•pedophile

•proshiper

•all and all straight up disgusting!

•if you are just a person who loves hating then go bye bye and don't come back here >:((

•if you are weirded out or hate on people in LGBTQIA+ community then bye this blog is for everyone so bye BYEEEEE!!!

I honestly don't have many boundaries but the basic one....but I guess as long as you keep it sfw and no weird sussy stuff....no slurs...no hate on others for who they are then you are fine! I might add more if I feel uncomfortable with something along the way if I do find out more stuff to add to my boundaries but for now it's pretty simple!

Have an amazing day/night everyone! Love you all! 💜💜💜

[comfy-whumpee]

Whumping Safely 101

Many people in this community have mental health problems, face various types of discrimination, and have complicated relationships with some parts or types of whump. In particular, I aim this at people who care about the experience of survivors and others with triggers – partially because I am an abuse survivor who often flirts with triggering content as part of my love of whump.

Keeping your blog safe is difficult, takes effort, and is never a perfect process. But as the community grows and grows, it’s really important that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I would argue that this is a responsibility of all content creators, but especially those of us in the messy playground of whump.

I’ve got three sections in here: content warnings, writing with care, and community interaction. I’ve tried to make it navigable. It’s about 1.8k words. Shorter than a lot of drabbles! I welcome good-faith criticism on this topic and further questions on my own views.

Content Warnings

The biggest responsibility, in my opinion, is empowering your reader to make their own decision on whether they want to expose themselves to your writing. This also happens to be by far the easiest way to help people whump safely.

What to warn

This is a big and ever-changing topic. Some things you should warn for as a rule of thumb are anything NSFW, pet whump and box boy whump, drugs and alcohol, medical and hospital content, graphic gore, intimate partner violence, and animal harm. It can be tricky to draw the line of what counts – what needs a warning? If you’re in doubt, just warn it anyway. It doesn’t hurt.

If someone requests a trigger be warned for, even if it’s something that feels obscure or tame, show compassion and agree to the request. This is someone who cares enough about being able to read your writing that they wrote in! They want to be able to read it and enjoy it. You’re being complimented.

Otherwise, look at what other blogs tag for. You’ll see some variation in styles and levels of detail, but it’s a good way to gauge what people think is warn-worthy, when we’re often writing stuff that would already be R-rated in mainstream media.

Read Mores

The easiest way to make sure people don’t see your triggering content is to use a cut. Tumblr is not a very functional website and likes to delete cuts, but a cursory check of your posted content will usually tell you whether it’s worked. With asks, cuts are very spotty, so don’t be afraid to post an ask response separately with a screengrab of the original question. People often then respond to the ask itself with a link to the post, especially if it’s a whole drabble. Tumblr is weird and bad so just do your best.

Content notices

I.e., a quick summary before the drabble, usually in bold, to state what will be coming. I like to distinguish between using content notes (CN) and trigger warnings (TW) to indicate severity. Others might use the old phrase ‘dead dove do not eat’ to indicate this is a heavy piece, and often you will see qualifiers like ‘intense’, ‘mild’, ‘mention’, ‘referenced’ (i.e. it is discussed but not actively happening), and ‘implied’ (as the opposite of ‘explicit’). I’ve also seen a couple of people use ‘vibes’, which is a really nice way of demonstrating that it’s there, but not the focus. A quick paragraph like this, or just a line, lets people make a quick risk assessment on their reading.

This is also important if you’re sending in asks or requests to people. If you want to ask about something triggering, send an inquiry first about whether the blog is okay to hear it.

Tagging

Tagging is a chore, but it’s your primary way of warning people about your content. The main benefit of tagging is that you can be as detailed as you want, because can be tagging for content in general, not just triggers.

In a best case scenario, you’d tag the kind of whump you’re doing, tag triggers, tag characters, and even your ‘verses, because tagging is your index for your blog. If you tag reliably, you help your future self and your readers find stuff, and you also make your blog really dang safe. People who have unusual triggers can blacklist tags, and will pick up on your content tags to help them.

Don’t just tag your own writing. Tag your reblogs, tag your prompts, tag your asks. Yes, edit your asks to add the tags. Tag your images and gifs. Tag your images as images and your gifs as gifs.

If you aren’t up for detailed tagging for whatever reason, just tag for triggering content, and add stuff to that list if you’re asked to. My usual technique is to make a mental note of tags while I’m formatting and editing before posting.

Be aware that your first five tags will be used in search results. If you’re using tags that are associated with kink too, such as ‘shibari’, you might want to rethink your tag order if you don’t want interaction from those blogs. Also think about what tags might come up in non-whump contexts, such as ‘collar’ or ‘PTSD’. Some tactics for getting around this I’ve seen are adding ‘whump’ after the content or writing the tags in past tense (i.e., ‘collared’).

It is also a good idea to watch out for when you might be reblogging something whumpy that is intended as kink / porn / fetish, especially in images. Tagging these as spicy / nsfw / kink is a sensible move.

Writing with Care

Okay, now for the harder stuff.

I mean here to lay out some guidelines for how to write in a way that helps your reader build good faith. This is a much more nuanced topic, and it’s different for everyone. There will always be differing opinions on what should and shouldn’t be written about, what a good depiction of a sensitive topic is, and how to discuss that topic. I tried to strip this back into absolute basics that I hope we can all agree on.

Maybe your whump involves abuse. Maybe it’s gaslighting. Maybe it’s severe mental health problems, or addiction, or slavery, or you write about or analogise real-world issues. Whump deals with the dark stuff, and that’s a big part of its appeal. But don’t ever forget you’re writing the dark stuff.

(Try to) Know what you’re doing

Some of us play fast and loose with plots, medical accuracy, worldbuilding, and other things that get in the way of the pain we crave. This is all well and good, but when we start using whump that speaks true to people’s lived experiences, we shouldn’t be careless with it. I’m particularly talking about things that get represented poorly in mainstream media, such as abusive relationships, issues around marginalisation, mental illness and disability.

Be critical of media that you’ve consumed. Think about how its depicted things that you want to depict in turn. Look for opinions on fictional representations of those issues. Be aware that you might be more ignorant of things than you realise.

Look at how others are writing these issues, particularly if they’re writing from a perspective different to yours. If you haven’t personally experienced what you’re writing about, e.g., if you don’t have PTSD and you want to depict a character who does, seek out stuff written from or with experience. Listen to the experts.

If you’re looking for stuff about representation specifically, I recommend this collection of posts about ‘Braving Diversity’ cultivated by Writing With Colour, who are in themselves a fantastic resource for this topic, and have recommendations for other blogs that deal with intersecting issues.

Listen to others

Missteps are inevitable. Nobody is perfect. If constructive criticism is offered, that’s also a compliment to your writing. Someone read your work and thought about it, and thought you’d care about improving it. They’re offering themselves as a resource for helping you see your work in a new light.

Criticism is hard and sometimes hurtful, but even if we don’t think it’s accurate, there’s often a grain of truth in it. If someone tells you that your writing is harmful, think about why they’ve said that, not whether or not they’re correct. This is an opinion! Opinions are subjective! But what drove someone to send that in?

You don’t have to respond to all your criticism and definitely don’t respond straight away. Being respectful to those who are trying to help you means taking the time to consider it properly. Sometimes, they don’t need a response. Others, you might want to learn more about what they think before deciding. You might have already discussed the topic, in which case, you might just want to reblog your previous posts.

If it’s sent in bad faith or is outright hateful, you’re well within your rights to just delete it and move on. You might get the same criticism over and over again, and that’s exhausting, and you don’t have to retrace your steps for everyone.

But if it’s new, even if it puts your hackles up, you can always stop and wonder why someone felt that strongly about your work.

Take a step back

One of my better-known characters is a pet whumper who conditioned his victim to adore and depend on him. It’s not always easy to represent how deeply messed up that is within the text – though I think that’s part of the challenge – but in meta-commentary, I am always describing him as a creeptastic bastard lacking compassion and self-reflection. I hope to always give the reader the confidence that I know just how wrong it is.

This is a really simple thing you can do just to give readers good faith in you. Show that you know what you’re writing is dark and messed up. Show your understanding for the issues you’re handling and that they’re complicated. It might seem self-evident, but when you’re writing the really dark stuff, or unhealthy relationships, or institutionalised whump, you can inadvertently create the impression that you just think it’s fun. The fact that it’s fiction does not automatically absolve you. Show that you care about doing it right.

Community Interaction

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I will almost entirely be preaching to the choir here.

Be polite to others. Imagine saying what you’re saying to their face.

Don’t send anon hate. Just don’t. If you can send criticism off anon, do so.

Nobody is obligated to interact with you.

Nobody is obligated to monitor their own reader base.

If someone says do not interact, do not interact.

If someone says do not interact, why they’ve said that is none of your business.

You don’t need to spread the word about someone’s bad politics.

Ask yourself if your input is needed, or if what you’ve said has already been said.

You don’t have to take a side.

Take care of yourself. Take breaks. Remind yourself that whump is a small part of the world.

That’s all from me, folks. Stay safe.

[the-river-person]

F.A.Q.

AO3 HERE

Who are you?: I am a person. I live in a boat that is on the river. I am The River Person. If you must, you can call me River. He/They is fine. 

Do I actually have enough followers to warrant a F.A.Q. Page?: No. But I’m doing it anyway cause I will forget.

Can I send you asks?: Sure. Here are the Guidelines.

When do you update?: I’m not great with schedules. Its whenever I feel like it. But I’ll try to be fairly regular.

Can I repost your story?: Um.. No. You may reblog it all you like. In fact, go wild. Reblog the whole story across Tumblr. Or the Ao3 link. I love that. Good. Do it. Reposting = Bad. Reblogging = VERY GOOD. Likes = *finger guns* to you too.

Do you like so and so ship? No Fontcest, Incest ships, or child ships. If you send me asks about things like that, or tag my work with it, I will block you. Go away. But I enjoy some of the Sans AU ships. Of course Alphys and Undyne. Maybe Errorink. Also something called Nicepants? Nothing NSFW. Idk. Ships aren’t really something I have much interest in.

Do you do writing requests?: Send in an Undertale related prompt and If I’m inspired enough I might write some small piece for it. Even if I can’t or don’t feel like writing that for some reason, well... asking won’t hurt.

What is Aeontale?: Its an Undertale AU and the first story of a series I’m working on. The world starts out pretty close to the Undertale world we know, and begins to diverge over time. You can read the full thing on my Ao3 account (see link above).

Can I draw Fanart of your story?: Sure! As long as you tag and credit me for the AU, don’t use any of the ships I warned against above, and keep it SFW... then knock yourself out. I’ll probably cry out of bewildered joy for fanart.

Can I make an AU based on Aeontale?: What? Like how Underfell was based on Undertale, then other Fell AUs were based on that? Mmmmm. Lets wait until I’ve finished the story first, okay?

Can I include your AU characters in MY fanfic story (Comic, etc)?: Currently only Mistral Sans is Community Shared. However there might be more characters in the future you can use.

Wanna do an Undertale Collab with me?: Dunno. Depends on the project. DM me and we’ll talk.

Do you have other AUs?: I have some ideas for them, yes. Also some plans for one shot stories and some other bits. But one thing at a time.

Do  your stories have Dark Themes?: Sometimes. I like Psychological Horror, some violence, emotional suffering, death, reflections on mortality and immortality, and whatever the trope would be for Gaster’s unfortunate accident with the falling into the Core thing.

What is the Rating of your blog?: There may be some minor swearing, perhaps blood and death as mentioned above, but no excessive gore. Trauma, and mentions of things such as depression and occasional mental illness. There will be some romance, as I feel it necessary to the narrative, but I’m not hugely into ships so it won’t be a main focus. There will be nothing NSFW (explicitly sexual) ever, though brief non-human and human nudity might be mentioned in passing as a matter of course.

Do you tag triggers? Will you tag this trigger for me?: On the occasion something big pops up, I’ll try to tag it accordingly. If you need me to add a tag, do not hesitate to send me an ask requesting it. 

My question isn’t on here?: Send me an ask. Fastest way to get things done. I don’t bite, promise.

Want to be friends?: I’ll gladly chat with you, providing all interactions remain pg. I’m quite the friendly Monster. But this is still the internet and I don’t actually know you, so I do still have to be careful. I probably won’t be sharing any personal info about myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you, I just gotta be careful, you know? Thanks for understanding.

[that-one-girl-behind-you]

Illicio 18/?

Part 17

CW for: -Canon-typical violence, body horror and gore  -Some characters talk about the not so great mental state they were in, including suicide ideation.

"Where are they? Elias, if you-" Jon's rather pathetic attempt at a threat is cut off by Elias' gleeful cackle.

"Calm down, Jon. Gerard's merely a bit... lost in thought. As for Martin, the door is open, if you want him back."

"What door? Elias, what did you do?" Jon snarls, pouring the compulsion thick into the question.

"I cashed in a favor. Or rather, a wager." Elias smiles. "You've grown fairly powerful, haven't you?"

"Elias-"

"You'll find Martin right where you put him." Elias' eyes gleam dangerously, his smile still sharp on his face. "In the Lonely."

XVIII

"Nah. I convinced them I'm not suicidal, mostly because, you know, I'm not? Anyways, they're letting me go this weekend. I'll call you when I'm settled, we'll have a sleepover that doesn't involve eye gouging, how about that?" Melanie smirks in his direction, and Gerry rolls his eyes.

"That's my preferred kind of sleepover."

"You have very low standards," Tim mutters in the background.

"I mean yeah." Melanie shrugs. "He's dating Jon."

"I'll take offense to that," Georgie laughs, closing the door to the room behind her after coming in.

Gerry lets his head fall back against the glass, closing his eyes to feel the rattle of the car as the tube makes its way through London's entrails. Melanie's looking well enough, her injuries healing at a slow, human pace that Gerry can't help but to be hopeful about.

"So you don't feel the need to go back?" Tim asks, leaning against the corner of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. It may be a bit risky to bring an avatar whose powers manifest as fire into a place with so much oxygen and defenseless people, but Tim looks calm for once, no hint of orange in the depths of his dark eyes. "When I left, I started feeling the withdrawal right away. Not like... at first it wasn't pain, I just 'wanted' to come back."

"Nope!" Melanie grins, popping the 'p' with such satisfaction that Gerry can't help but to chuckle along with Georgie. "The only place I want to go to is home."

"Aren't you lucky," Tim says a bit sullenly, but when Gerry looks over he's got the slightest hint of a smile on his face, albeit a sad one.

Tim is sitting two seats away, but Gerry can still feel both the heat -the burns on his skin throbbing in ghost pain- and the conflict emanating from him. Maybe this is why Jon used to feel so comfortable around him, Tim wears his heart on his sleeve and there's no guessing at what he's feeling, regardless of if that feeling holds something good in store for you or not.

"What is it?" Gerry asks after a few more seconds. He doesn't turn to look at Tim, but they both know his words are aimed at him.

Tim's voice, when it comes, holds all the fragility of diamond, hard and sharp and waiting for something to hit at just the right angle to crumble to dust. "Do you- I wonder if this would work on Martin."

Gerry snorts, his tentative good mood wiped away like so much dust under the rain. "Are you asking me?"

"You care," Tim says. It's not a question, and Gerry doesn't bother denying it. Thinking about Martin feels eerily like waiting outside of a locked room, kept barely alive by a voice not done justice by the magnetic tape in a recorder, hoping, praying that the coffin will open, that he will come back, for someone else if not for him.

He keeps hoping the story will end the same, but he knows better than to dare think he'll be lucky twice.

"I don't know that breaking Martin from the Eye is our biggest concern anymore." Gerry sighs. "He told Jon no when he offered."

"...So? Are you just going to leave it like that?" Out the corner of his eye, he sees Tim scowl something fierce. "Jon said the fucking same, are you two just going to sit there and make eyes at each other while he turns?"

"We're trying, alright?! Jon's running himself ragged trying to Know enough that Martin doesn't have to depend on Lukas anymore, and I can keep telling Martin he's more important than the Extinction, but he's too damn stubborn-"

"He said you broke into his flat just to make him talk-"

"Well, you live with him. If you can't bring him back, why-"

"Oh, shut up!" Tim groans, crossing his arms over his chest and throwing his head back to look at the roof "Shut up, for real. You're pissing me off, and we're underground, you're going to make me blow up half the city."

Gerry rolls his eyes, a resigned huff escaping his lips. "Sometimes I wish I'd convinced you to stay behind when we went to get the Dark Sun. I don't know what Lukas did to him, but I doubt he would've done it I'd you'd been here."

"You know what? I do, too." Tim remains focused on the roof of the car, his fingers tapping against his arm in an incessant rhythm that leaves melted indentations on his skin. "I should've stayed where it mattered."

They don't say much after that. What else could they add? He can deny it until he's blue in the face, but they both know Manuela Dominguez burned because Tim still holds Jon dear, whether he likes it or not.

Still, Tim's words weigh heavy in his mind as they climb up the steps to the street and start the short trek to the Institute. It's- he's right. Whatever they promised Martin, this has gone too far. Martin might be ready to sacrifice it out of some misplaced lack of self worth, but nothing is worth his life, not even saving the world. And if he has to break into Martin's office and convince him of it, well... it won't be the first time, at least.

He starts on the stairs up towards the Institute's upper floors, only to stop when he notices Tim is no longer following. When he turns around, Gerry finds him standing at the bottom of the stairs, his face turned towards the door and his eyes overtaken by the bright orange of the Desolation.

"...Are you okay?" Gerry asks, arching an eyebrow.

Tim scowls at whatever it is he's looking at, but lifts a hand to stop him when Gerry makes to walk back down. "You going to see Jon?"

"Martin, actually," Gerry admits. Tim nods.

"Fine. You do that. I'll be down at the Archives." He gestures to the stairs going down instead.

It is a bit odd, but there's something else tugging at his mind right now. Something feels off today crawling under his skin like a many legged being. He wonders for a moment if this is the Spider pulling at him, before he resolves that one way or another it won't do to dwell on it. He feeds the Mother of Puppets either by fearing the manipulation or by fighting against it; the best he can do is be prepared for whatever it is he's being pushed into.

"-ou are. I was starting to fear you'd gotten cold feet." Gerry freezes before turning the corner to enter the corridor that takes to Martin's office. Lukas' voice is light and amused enough that Gerry wants to rearrange his face, mostly because he knows there's only one person in the Institute Lukas really talks to.

"I haven't," Martin says, and he sounds like a gray afternoon given a voice.

"Wonderful! I'd hate for you to give up after so much hard work, when we're already at the finish line. We can go down, then."

Martin doesn't answer, not even when Lukas lets out a satisfied chuckle. Gerry leans around the corner as soon as the familiar static of the Lonely starts ringing in his ears, and he's just in time to see the last of Martin's back disappear into a wall of fog.

The finish line.

Gerry frowns; the Eye won't volunteer any information about what Lukas is talking about, not even when he tries to Look, but if this means that he's done with whatever he was pushing Martin into, then this can't be good. Should he go look for Jon? Would the Eye let him know where they-

"You're looking real unhappy there, dear." Helen's voice doesn't really make him jump as much as merely draws him out of his reverie. "Did you lose something?"

"Someone." Gerry huffs.

"The pessimism... you've been hanging with Jon too much, I'd say."

"If you happen to know where they're going-"

"They're real funny," Helen chuckles. It makes Gerry a bit dizzy, but he merely lays a hand on the wall to steady himself. "They kept saying they needed a map, like there aren't better ways to get to places."

Gerry freezes, the implications of the Distortion's words deafening in his mind.

"Helen?" he asks almost shakily. If he can reach Martin and ask Helen to get the others- "Is it a door that they needed?"

Helen merely stands there before him, her smile curling into itself and her door partly opened behind her.

Gertrude would eat him alive for being so stupid, so selfish, Gerry thinks with a bitter sort of amusement. What gives him the right to stop Martin from saving the world, just because of anything he or Jon may or may not feel?

Probably nothing, but maybe it's high time he tries being self-centered for once, he decides before he walks into the Distortion's corridors.

-----------------------------------

It had taken him a few blocks to place the feeling, but when he finally did Tim found it laughably easy to put a name to it.

At first it feels like a prickle at his nape, the feeling of being watched, and he ignores it because it's far from an uncommon occurrence at the Institute. It's only when he feels the urge to hasten his pace that it clicks in his mind, even when it doesn't feel quite the same as when he first caught sight of Jon ducking behind a corner on his way home.

The Hunt is insidious, playing at your most basic instincts as it chases you to where you'll be easier to strike down. Now that he's recognized it, Tim finds it all too easy to shake it off. Instead the Desolation sparks to life inside his chest, aching for a good fight, for destruction, for the delicious sorrow that lays promised by the bond between the two hunters.

It's a bit funny how they don't notice when he flips the tables, coming back through the Institute's front doors just in time to see the back of the old man disappearing into the alley behind the institute; how very Hunt-like, to underestimate the 'prey'.

They head straight for the door that leads down to the Archives, and Tim feels the burning in his chest grow hotter.

Daisy wasn't lying when she said they were opportunistic, but she failed to mention just how fatally uninformed they were. He still feels the sequels from yesterday, and Jon was trying not to hurt him. Even if they reached him, what chance do they hope to have against the Archivist on his home turf?

He waits until their steps have faded down the stairs, before pushing the door open again and slipping in himself, and he wonders if maybe in another life he wouldn't have shared a patron with them, with how fervently he tracked the Stranger, and how easily he falls into the role of the hunter now.

Jon did kill the thing that took Sasha, and he's not too fond of owing favors.

-----------------------------------

Dying is not so terrible, Daisy thinks. Or maybe it's Basira -as always- that makes it tolerable.

It's cold by the entrance to the tunnel, but the cot itself is warm enough that Daisy doesn't shiver -she doesn't think she has the strength for it- in Basira's arms.

She doesn't smell the scent of tears or despair, and it only hurts a little. She wasn't expecting Basira to cry, or be devastated. In fact, she was counting on it. One of the things she fell in love with was Basira's stability, always a safe port to come home to in the middle of the storm that is Daisy's rage.

She's looking down at her on her lap, lightly brushing Daisy's hair off her face. All the hair was brushed away long ago but still Basira runs her fingers softly over her cheekbones, her forehead, her closed eyelids, and it feels like drifting off to sleep on a sunny windowsill.

It's far too peaceful an end, for all the pain she's caused.

"Basira-" she starts, only to stop a second after, her eyes shooting open at the sound of running feet and hurried breathing, the cloying scent of fear like a shot of adrenaline straight into her expiring heart.

"Jon?" Basira asks, her body tensing under Daisy's in preparation for- for what? "What's going on?"

Daisy chokes back a strained laugh. Of course something else would happen now that Basira has finally run out of excuses to let her die.

"I'm- I- Daisy?" Jon's voice is shaky, and the scent of fear intensifies. It makes her want to howl that she's not only unable to assuage his distress, but that she's a part of it now. "What is- the Hunt-"

"Jon, what do you want?!" Basira snaps.

Jon flinches. "Martin, I- he left me- I don't think he's coming back." There's a tape recorder in his hand, and what makes Daisy sit up on the cot is that he looks like he sounded in the Buried, lost and trapped and all devoid of hope.

"Where's Gerry?" she asks. "He's good at finding Martin. Bringing him back."

"That's- I don't know," Jon says shakily. "I'm- I tried to See him, but- I think he's inside Helen? I don't know- he doesn't feel like he's in danger, but-"

"And can't you See Martin?" Basira arches an eyebrow. "If you can See inside the Distortion-"

"I'm- I can't usually do that." Jon huffs almost angrily. "I can sort of See inside Helen because Gerry's in there, like-"

"Like you're looking through him?" Daisy supplies, when he seems to be out of words. Much to her despair, she feels reenergized already, like the mere idea of a goal is enough to fuel the embers of the Hunt inside her. She can feel Basira's eyes on the side of her face, and she knows she's already plotting, scheming some way to keep her around longer.

"Exactly, yes." Jon nods. "And only barely enough to feel that he doesn't think he's in danger. But when I try to See Martin, it's- it's like- like two mirrors in front of each other. I know it doesn't make any sense, but-"

"Nevermind that." Basira climbs to her feet in a smooth move "We can find him."

Daisy doesn't miss the use of the plural, nor the way her glowing green eyes fix on her with that look she knows all too well. It's a look that beckons her to follow, a siren call she has little to no hope of refusing. She heaves a sigh before she stands from the cot as well, smacking Jon on the shoulder.

"Couldn't wait until I was buried to drag me out again, could you?" she asks.

Jon gives her a small, sad smile. "I'm sorry."

Daisy shrugs. She'll stick around just for a few more hours, just for them.

"Let's find those two."

-----------------------------------

There's a body below the institute.

This is, of course, not the first time this has happened, Martin thinks, and the thought almost feels amusing. The handle of the knife Peter placed in his hand after the whole explanation about the Panopticon feels almost vulgar in its suggestion that violence is the only way to save the world.

"I must admit, he's not at all as surprised as I expected he'd be." says a voice that Martin still hears in his nightmares from time to time. When he turns around, Elias is standing across Peter, the two of them framing the door like guardian statues. He looks immaculate, his suit clean and freshly pressed, his tie perfectly knotted at his throat. Martin arches an eyebrow, wondering if he factored in enough time for grooming when breaking out from jail, and Elias chuckles. "Speaks wonders of your job I suppose."

"A natural, I told you. Now Martin, if you'd move along please?" Peter says without taking his eyes off Elias. The smirk on his face speaks of familiarity, the kind of look you give someone that you know will be incensed by it. "I didn't count on us having an audience, but I guess I should've known."

"Can't a man watch his own death?" Elias' lips curve upwards like the edge of the blade in Martin's hand. "Also, you must admit it's much more.... poetic, this way, Peter."

"I'll concede on that." Peter turns towards Martin again. "What's keeping you?"

"This is you, isn't it?" It's not that big of a leap, the Panopticon, Jonah Magnus, and the Eye's biggest servant. Elias' widening grin is answer enough. "Will the others survive?"

"I'm surprised you care." Peter says, and Martin rolls his eyes.

"I-"

"He doesn't. But he knows he should. Again, impressive." Elias shrugs, and for all that Martin stands over his body with a knife, he couldn't look less bothered. "But in the interest of truth-"

"Oh, you care about that now?" Peter cackles in the background.

"The answer is, I'm not sure." Elias raises his voice a little. "But making an educated guess, most of the ones you used to care about should fare just fine. Tim and Melanie are well out of my reach. Your new allegiance should protect you from the worst of it, like the Hunt should miss Tonner, if she wasn't so keen on starving herself. I'm not sure about the Detective, ever the rogue variant, but thanks to our patron's little present, Jon is powerful enough that he should survive as well-"

"Don't call him that," Martin mutters quietly to himself. He doubts Elias is listening, anyways; he's much too fond of his own voice.

"-egular workers of the Institute will be affected of course, though there is no telling just how grave the damage will be. But I know you don't care about that, and you know that too, don't you Martin?"

He's... really irritating, Martin decides.

"I do." Whether he means he does care or he merely knows he doesn't, Martin isn't too sure himself.

"Always very self-aware, yes." Elias has the gall to nod like a proud mentor, and Martin rolls his eyes. "I would say then that the only variable to factor in is whether or not you want to kill me."

"I really do." And for so many reasons, too.

"Then go ahead, Martin." Peter steps forward, and Martin sees Elias watching him from the back like a snake about to strike. It's actually pretty funny, that they're both so sure they've cornered the other. "Kill him, and help me save the world."

"I don't think I will, actually." Martin shrugs, tossing the knife aside with a careless flick. The delight he feels at Peter's confused frown is muted, but it's definitely there.

"I- what?" Peter stutters. Elias' grin grows even sharper behind him. "Martin, this is not the time for games, the world is at stake here, and-"

"See, that's where you messed up. All those details that didn't add up, the insistence that I was some sort of- of world savior? Far too grand for me." Elias breaks down in cackles, and Martin covers his flinching by crossing his arms over his chest. "It really wasn't that hard to see through all the bull you were trying to serve me."

"Serve- Martin, I never lied to you. The Extinction is coming and-"

"I don't doubt it." He waves the matter away. "But this is not about the Extinction, is it? It's just whatever pases for a game between you two, using people as your betting chips, and I don't want any part in it. I'm out."

"But you said-"

"What you wanted to hear, mostly." Martin shrugs again; the feeling of perverse delight growing more and more alive in his chest. Who knew that pettiness was an emotion just as effective against the Lonely?

"You projected too hard on dear Martin, it seems," Elias says after his laughter has subsided. Peter looks fit to boil, his pale face sporting ugly red blotches as he rounds up on Elias.

"This is your doing," he says. Elias' carefully knotted tie crumples in Peter's clenched fist. "How-"

"It wasn't him." Martin interrupts again, feeling more tangible by the second out of sheer indignation. "It was me, always me. I came to you because Jon was dead and it seemed like the most useful thing I could do for the others was letting you do your thing. I thought it would even be a good way to get killed, but you lost any hold you might've had the moment Jon woke up." It's almost cathartic to let everything out after so much lying. It certainly is rewarding to watch Peter's face lose more and more color with each word. "Suddenly I had a reason again, and it was very easy to pretend I was going along with your schemes, if it meant keeping him safe. You had me for a while when you started dropping hints about the Extinction, but it was just too much, you know? I'm not exactly a- a 'chosen one', or a hero, but it was the best way to figure out what your end game was."

"But- I can feel the Lonely around you, it's-"

"Sure, it's there. Always has been, maybe. But if this is the final test, then- then I guess failed." The silence that blankets over the Panopticon after his words is so dense Martin can almost taste it. He wonders if the other two can hear the frantic beating of his heart.

"You- no." Peter shakes his head. "This- you have no idea what you've done, you've doomed-"

"I did warn you, Peter." Elias speaks, sweet and cloying like festering rot. "Now, sore loser is a terrible look on you, so get on with it."

"Get on with what?" Martin scowls, trying to ignore the shiver that bleeds down his spine when Elias' amused smile turns towards him. "I thought he couldn't use the Panopticon."

"That ship has sailed, I'm afraid." Elias shakes his head, tutting under his breath. "Really, one way or another you shouldn't have anything to fear, Martin. If your allegiance to the Lonely's strong enough, you should be able to walk right back out. If it's not... then you just have to hope Jon's allegiance to you is strong enough."

"I'm- what?" Martin frowns. Why would Elias want Jon to go get him from- oh. Oh, crap, how could he have been so stupid?! He steps back, when a tendril of fog begins to wrap itself around his ankle. "Wait, I-"

"I'll do it." Martin feels his blood freeze in his veins, when he whips around and finds Gerry standing by the entrance to the Panopticon, his hand wrapped around the knife Martin discarded just a few minutes ago.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Peter asks, his hand still extended towards Martin, but the fog momentarily at ease. Martin takes a few more steps back, trying to get his thoughts into some semblance of order because this is not good. Gerry shouldn't be here, he can handle the Lonely, but he can't leave Gerry alone with these two-

"If you want him dead so badly, I'll kill him, and use the damned thing for you." Gerry steps towards the body with knife in hand, and Martin has a split second to appreciate that Elias no longer seems so amused, even getting closer to the body himself. "Let Martin go."

"You don't have any bonds with the Lonely." Peter arches an eyebrow, but he's starting to lower his hand. Fuck, this- this isn't good.

"Does that really matter? I could hardly be more marked by the Eye. I'll use it for you, just let Martin-"

"Are you crazy?" Martin snaps, whipping around to face him again. "Get out of here, I-"

"Peter." Elias hisses in the background, and Peter grunts.

"As much as it'd please me to use the Eye's own gifts against it-" Peter starts, every word sounding like a forced pleasantry. The edges of Martin's vision blur with thick, white fog that pulls at his core almost as much as his mind reels from it. "-I am a man of my word."

"What- wait-" Gerry takes a step towards him, reaching a hand to grab at Martin's shoulder.

"Say, Gerard," Elias' voice cuts in, loud and laced with static as he steps between Gerry and his body. "Have you ever wondered how your father died?"

Gerry's face goes contorts in pain as the memories are forced in, and Martin flinches in sympathy.

"Go away!" Martin snaps, before whipping around to face Elias. "Cut it out, I'll go in-"

"The marks, Martin-" Gerry grunts. "Stay-"

"You were sleeping while she butchered his body. A spirited woman, your mother, but not the finest planner-"

Gerry shakes his head like trying to shake the foreign thoughts loose, a thin stream of ink running down his philtrum, staining his lips black.

"Like you'd fucking know- Martin? Martin, look at me!" He orders, like Martin isn't already doing so, like he isn't actively trying to give in to the pull of the Lonely -if he goes, they'll leave him alone, they have no other reason to keep him-

"She did love him, you know? Or she loved his devotion for her at least. It's quite funny, actually. Good old Eric fought so hard to break free of our patron, and he never once stopped to wonder if he wasn't running into something worse. His end was quite gruesome, even for one of Gertrude's assistants." Elias' eyes gleam with dark amusement when they meet Martin's, and the threat in them is clear. "He thought her steps sounded different that afternoon, but he was only starting to get used to getting by on his remaining senses, and she'd been so gentle and caring to him lately-"

"Stop..." Gerry snarls "I don't care, I never knew him, you can't-"

"Oh, but you could have. If he hadn't been so arrogant, if he hadn't tried to plan so much smarter than he was. You should be careful which of your parents' footsteps you want to follow, though I suppose both trails are marked in blood."

"Elias, stop!" Martin shuts his eyes tight to not see Gerry's pained expression, focusing on the cold, slimy feeling of the fog that resides within his core, but he can't- the Lonely's refusing to come to his call, and Martin wants to scream, because when Gerry warned him so many months ago that he'd ruin his plan, Martin wasn't expecting it to be by making himcare so much for him. "Peter, just- do it already!"

The man's face is veiled in satisfaction, and Martin has no doubt that he too knows Martin won't survive the Lonely like this, and the act is as much a fulfillment of the wager with Elias as it is his revenge for Martin unraveling his plans.

"Martin!" Gerry throws himself forward, and Martin feels his hand pass straight through his front.

The last hint of color he sees before the grey takes it away is that heart-wrenching mix of green and blue.

-----------------------------------

Martin's trail is a soft green against the dirty stone floor of the tunnels. Not as easy to follow as Daisy's, and mingled with a sickly grey one that smells of salt and absence.

"These tunnels don't make sense," she grunts after taking a left turn for the sixth time in a row.

"They change." Jon sniffles behind her, his footsteps light and hurried in contrast with Daisy's heavier, determined ones. "I feel a sort of- a pull, towards the center. I'm guessing that's where Martin is?"

Basira doesn't respond, sure, Jon could've come down here himself, but then Daisy would've given up, would've died in her arms without the interruption, without the goal.

"Do you feel Gerry?" Daisy asks. There's a light growl to her voice that wasn't there before, and it makes Basira stop a little. "Is he alright?"

"He's- I think he found Martin. It's like the two mirrors thing, whenever I try to See any of them." Jon wipes a hand across his brow, letting out a soft, sheepish chuckle. "I'm- I feel blind."

"We're being followed," Daisy says calmly, and Basira spins around on her heel. The Hunt doesn't manifest with light, there is no eerie glow to her warm brown eyes, but Basira sees her fingers curled in the shape of claws, and the stiff line of her back just as clearly, the blood simmering under her skin, not yet boiling but very much threatening to. "Are you going to come out, or will you keep hiding like rats?"

Basira's gun is on her hand in an instant, and she pulls Jon behind her, a rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins at the familiarity of falling into step with Daisy.

"Must admit- I'd been hopin' you'd be dead by now." She doesn't know the old man that comes from behind the corner they just turned, but she can guess who it is just by the distortion to his features, his too-wide grin full of too-sharp teeth, his eyes that reflect the light of their torches in the way no human could. "We wanted to have Jonny boy for ourselves for a bit."

"We got a few statements we'd like to give." And if that's Trevor Herbert, then this must be Julia Montauk, of course.

"You didn't dare go against Daisy and me last time," Jon pipes in from behind Basira, and she contemplates turning around and strangling him herself, because of course Jon will hear danger ask for him by name and be a smartass about it. "Now there's three of us. Doesn't sound too smart."

"But see, we're well out of your dear Archives now, Jon dear." Julia takes a step to the side that Daisy mimics, keeping herself between the groups. "And your guard dog here looks like a famished mutt. I like our chances, actually."

"Brought this on yourself, really." The old hunter cracks his neck, running a red tongue over his teeth. "We'd have let you live, you were going around stopping rituals even, but you just had to go and take that page out."

Basira feels more than she sees Jon's patience dwindling. There's static in the air sure, but there's something in her connection to the Eye that reacts to him getting ready for a fight.

"Easy, Jon," she mutters, her gun trained on the old man's forehead.

"We're wasting time. I need-"

"Go, just follow your call," says Daisy, without moving an inch from where she's facing the other woman down. Basira can See the blood rising hotter and angrier inside her, and Daisy's almost back to looking like herself, the light back in her eyes, the steel in her spine, the slightest hint of a smirk as she stares Julia down. "We'll take care of this."

Jon hesitates for a moment; Basira can see the struggle in his eyes, going from Daisy to the hunters to her-

"Just go!" Basira snaps. "You know what's going on here, go find out what's happening there!"

And well, maybe it is underhanded, to use his worry for those two against him, but if it gets him to leave...

"I'll come back," Jon says hurriedly.

Basira nods. "Or I'll find you. Go!"

He rushes down the tunnel; Basira wonders, daring a look over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of his awkward race around a corner, is this the last she sees of Jonathan Sims?

"That's cute!" Julia snarls, calling her back to attention. The faint orange glow behind her is easy to miss, but Basira recognizes it easily enough. "You're getting very high and mighty there."

"This one is not even a full avatar," Trevor gestures at Basira with a chuckle, and it feels both relieving and insulting. "You can't take the two of us alone, not in your state."

"I don't know. What was it you said a moment ago?" Tim speaks from behind them, causing the two hunters to whip around to face him. His eyes glow like two angry embers; Basira remembers this Tim not from the night before the Unknowing, but from the warehouse up North. "I like our chances."

-----------------------------------

The pull at his chest is not foreign to Jon, though it feels as different as day and night from the one he followed to find Gerry when the hunters came the first time.

It's something built into him from the moment he opened his eyes as the Archivist, something that ties him to the Archives, to whatever it is that lays at the middle of this labyrinth, and Jon despises it.

Still he follows it, heading to whatever fate awaits him willingly, for them.

The chamber he finds himself in is enormous, the walls made up entirely of cells with thick bars covered in rust. At the center, stands a tower made up of blackened stone, the very top domed in clouded glass, and the Beholding drops a word in his mind with all the ceremony of an artist revealing their Magnum Opus.

The Panopticon.

"So good you could join us, Jonathan." Elias's voice hits him like a hammer to the chest, and only then does Jon notice him standing at the base of the turret, his arms crossed behind his back and smiling beatifically in his direction. "Was it hard, finding the place?"

"Not- not too much." Jon steps closer carefully. He still can't See Martin or Gerry, but Elias being here -how did he get out of jail? Was he ever really trapped there?- is not a great signal.

"Because I called you." Elias nods. "I thought you might want to pick up what you lost."

Shit.

"Where are they? Elias, if you-" Jon's rather pathetic attempt at a threat is cut off by Elias' gleeful cackle.

"Calm down, Jon. Gerard's merely a bit... lost in thought. As for Martin, the door is open, if you want him back."

"What door? Elias, what did you do?" Jon snarls, pouring the compulsion thick into the question.

"I cashed in a favor. Or rather, a wager." Elias smiles. "You've grown fairly powerful, haven't you?"

"Elias-"

"You'll find Martin right where you put him." Elias' eyes gleam dangerously, his smile still sharp on his face. "In the Lonely."

"W-"

"As much as I'd enjoy a chat, I'd advise against dallying. He was in a bit of a state when he went in. Not too suited to survive in there, even after all these months." Elias takes a step aside, clearing the way to the stone stairs that curl up around the body of the tower. "Good luck, Jonathan. I'll be seeing-"

Whatever he was going to say next, Jon doesn't care to know. He rushes past him, climbing the stairs as quickly and as carefully as he can, keeping away from the edge because he wouldn't put it past himself to simply trip and snap his neck.

The interior of the turret is mostly empty, but his eyes pick up on three details immediately. The first is the dessicated body sitting at the center of the eye carved on the stone floor. He Knows who he is, and who the man outside isn't, but right at this moment, he couldn't care less.

The second thing he notices is the door to the Lonely, like a tear on dark fabric leaking out a soft silvery light and heavy wisps of fog that drift down to the floor.

Gerry's crumbled next to the body like a puppet whose strings were cut off. His arm stretched out towards the rift, and he's bleeding, a puddle of acrid-smelling ink under his head.

Jon rushes to his side, falling to his knees beside him and turning his head as carefully as he can.

"Gerr- I- can you hear me?" he asks, his heart beating so hard he's worried it'll punch a hole right through his chest. Gerry's eyes are wide and glassy and Beholding green, and his papery white lips move around words Jon cannot hear, but he's alive, and that means they have a shot still.

"I need- Gerry, I- you have to wake up now. I'm-" This is- he's so bad at this. How do you call a person back? I'm sorry but I love you, please don't go? "I need you, please."

-----------------------------------

"Told ya!" The old man smirks, his sharp teeth painted red with the blood flowing from his nose after Tim's headbutt. His claw-like nails sink into the flesh of Basira's neck, and the whirlpool of activity in the tunnel comes to a screeching halt. "This one is not quite done yet. Let's see if she bleeds like a monster or like a human."

If one thinks about it objectively, Tim's cockiness wasn't necessarily unjustified. He merely failed to factor in the part where he technically doesn't want to blow up the entirety of London to get rid of two hunters, or turn Daisy and Basira into a pile of ashes.

"That's enough," Daisy growls, loosening her grip around Julia's neck. The woman slashes at her face as soon as she's free, the knife leaving an angry red gash across her cheekbone and nose.

It makes something hot an angry burn at his chest, that even with all this power, he's still useless to stop this.

"How sweet." Julia shoves her off, climbing to her feet with a slight limp in her step. Tim feels a dark pang of pride at the angry red burn on the side of her face. "You're not the monsters we wanted, but it's okay, we don't discriminate. Let's see that throat, old man."

"Basira?" Daisy calls out. She's still on her knees, still watching her own blood drip down to the dirty floor of the tunnels.

"Yes?" Basira asks, then chokes a little when Trevor presses his nails a bit harder.

"Will you find me?" Daisy's starting to shake, and Tim takes a step back even as the Desolation in him beckons him forward, because the sheer amount of sorrow and rage coming from her is intoxicating.

Another wave of loss, of suffering hits him just as hard. Tim darts a glance at her, but there's nothing in Basira's face that betrays the pain simmering inside her.

"Anywhere."

Daisy's form splits open.

It's like watching a flower blossom in a timelapse video, or a moth emerge from its cocoon. The creature that comes out is long-limbed and sharp-fanged, and its fur shimmers with a faint coat of blood as it leaves behind the useless skin of Daisy Tonner. They watch it in stunned silence as it raises to its full height, its hunched back grazing against the roof of the tunnel, a cavernous growl squeezing out from between jaws where the hide is stretched too thin, pierced here and there by sharp yellowed fangs, its eyes like two pinpricks of light at the end of a cavernous tunnel fixed on the hunters before it.

"...Fuck," Julia mutters. Tim is inclined to agree.

Then the thing that was Daisy takes a step towards her, and the room explodes in activity again. Basira is shoved to the side as Trevor rushes to step between them, and it's all Tim can do to throw himself over her, as two and then three beasts slam each other against the walls of the tunnel, raining down dirt and debris that digs into Tim's waxy flesh.

It feels like hours before the howling fades away, before the tearing of flesh under claws and fangs leaves behind a silence so haunting it very nearly drowns the roar of the Desolation inside him.

"G- get off," Basira orders, pushing a hand against his chest. Tim scrambles to his feet and offers a hand that she ignores, her eyes focused on the soggy skins left behind in crumpled lumps by the beasts. "I- shit."

"Eloquent." She's looking down one of the tunnels, the one that reeks of hatred and pain, and Tim knows very well the sort of debate brewing in her mind. "Are you going after them?"

"Are you?" she snaps, whipping around to face him. Her face is carefully blank, and Tim doesn't point out the red rims of her eyes, or the pain emanating from her in waves. It doesn't take a genius to understand she's pinning her own hesitation on him. He doesn't know much about Basira, but he might understand that it's easier for her to handle weak people than to be weak herself.

Is he going after them?

He could probably find them, following the claw marks and the rage. If they make it far enough from anyone that could get caught in the crossfire-

"Why were you down here?" he asks, though he thinks he might know the answer already. Jon is many things, but he wouldn't abandon them so easily.

"Jon was still holding on to you when they found you, you know?" Sasha -no, not her, not anymore- had said, and Tim had believed her immediately, just as he believes it now.

"Martin and- they're missing. We think they're at the center of this- this mess." Basira's voice is almost frail as she continues to look down the corridor the monsters disappeared in.

"Can you find them?"

"Yes." The word comes immediately, mournful and without hesitation.

"Well- let's- let's get to it. Somehow I doubt Daisy needs us that much right now."

-----------------------------------

"You're making a right mess of me," he says. He's standing next to the table, watching the proceedings with something that almost feels like interest. "I thought you had more experience at this."

"I was feeling experimental." She shrugs. Her arms are covered in blood to the elbow, and her chest and face are also splattered red. "I felt like it had to be special."

"Very romantic," he says dryly. "What's going to happen to Gerry?"

"Gerard will be fine." She enunciates the name clearly and firmly. They never did settle that argument, but she pretty much just won, he guesses. "He's got the potential."

"He's two years old."

"He's my son." She saws angrily, until the bone finally breaks. "You brought this on yourself, you know?What were you thinking, pulling your eyes out?"

"I suppose I did. I thought you'd be happy that I was free." He shrugs again, before extending a translucent hand to push a lock of blood-soaked blonde hair behind her ear. It passes right through. "It's nice to see you again."

She pauses on her work, her eyes -he always did love that perfect mix of green and blue- fixed on the carnage dripping down to the kitchen floor.

"You knew how I was," she says finally. "I never hid that from you."

"You didn't."

That's not an apology. It's not an excuse. It's not enough for this man who sees himself dead on a table and asks about his son first, why do they both look so satisfied with it?!

The saw is heavy in his hand, and slippery with the blood that stinks the whole room of iron. Gerry tries to drop it, tries to step back, this is not him, up to his elbows in the blood of the one he loves-

"Gerry?" Jon's voice washes over him like cool water over a burn; Gerry thinks he might cry, when he blinks away the image of his parents and Jon is there, looking down at him in concern. "I'm- you're- how do you feel?"

"Like shit." Gerry lets out a dry cackle that's just this side of hysterical, before the gravity of the situation catches up to him, and he sits up so abruptly Jon has to throw himself back to avoid getting head-butted. "Fuck. Jon, we- Martin-"

"I know, I- Elias told me." Jon bites at his bottom lip. "I'm- it looks like we're completing the card after all."

"...Looks like it," Gerry says. It leaves a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, but there's no other way to go about it. Jon's not going to leave Martin in the Lonely, and Gerry's not going to ask him to. He climbs to his feet with a groan -he definitely bruised something- and Jon follows suit. "I'm- I don't know how well it'll go, Jon. You were able to use me as an anchor in the Dark, but I don't know if you can just- just pull Martin out. The person has to want to come back, usually."

"Let's find out." Jon takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed on the rift to the Lonely for a moment. He looks over his shoulder at him, and there's an odd intensity to his eyes, not the eerie power of the Archivist, but merely the one befitting a man in love. "Are you ready?"

"I- what?" Gerry blinks a couple times, before his own words come back to him from so long ago, whispered against Jon's lips with more devotion than any prayer he's ever uttered, the threat of an apocalypse looming over their heads and in his heart the firm intention of walking into the Dark for this man. "Oh."

"...I don't mean to force you to-" the little yelp Jon gives when he leans in to kiss him might just be enough to turn him immune to the Lonely, Gerry thinks.

"Let's go get your Martin back, then."

[anarchy-lives-eternal]

Charlastor Week Day 2: Human AU!

(This will be the start of a series of continuous one shots following Charlastor Week, all part of the same universe!)

Losing Your Soul (By Accident)

Contains mentions of Blood and Gore

Alastor LaCroix was having a strange night. The scene in front of him was something he never could have expected, and never thought possible. On the ground was the dead body of a corrupt official, bloody and broken. But for Alastor, that wasn’t the odd part.

No, the oddness of the night began with the appearance of a demon. Now, most people would maybe say this should have been expected, What with all the bloody symbols Alastor had carved into the corpse and drawn in blood on the ground, but Alastor didn’t believe in such nonsense. Well, he supposed he might have to now.

You see, Alastor is a killer. A good one at that. He had even gotten into the habit of carving religious symbols into his kills and drawing them around the area in order to throw the police off his trail, not that they were looking too hard. What with the fact that usually his victims were some particularly nasty individuals. He never expected anything to come of it; after all, he hadn’t believed in God or any religion really. His highest power was his craving for the hunt.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you talked to, on this night he was proven utterly, completely, wrong.

“Oh! This is so exciting! My very first one! Oh, I can’t wait to tell daddy. He’ll be so proud!”

In front of Alastor stood a woman. But not just any ol’ dame. No, in front of him stood a demoness, her ivory skin off set by onyx lips. She had long, wavy blonde hair parted with large sharp horns protruding from her head, and her eyes were the most unique of all: her sclera were blood red, her irises a poisonous shade of yellow, and her pupils were slit like a fox or snakes.

That’s when she jumped forward, leaning down and getting into Alastor’s face (which was strange in and of itself because Alastor’s impressive height of 6’4” was nothing to sneeze at, and it was a rare occurrence that a man could get in his face, much less a woman).

“You’re absolutely adorable! And positively human! I’ve never seen one before, so I’m very excited!”

Alastor took a large step back, he was not used to people actively getting in his personal space. Is this how others felt when he did it? It didn’t help any that the demon was a good few inches taller than him, “I’m sorry, my dear, there must be a misunderstanding!”

The demoness stayed where she was, but shook her head excitedly, “Oh no! No misunderstanding! You see these symbols here? This is you pledging your undying soul to me! Isn’t that so exciting? I mean, from the looks of it,” she looked down distastefully at Alastors kill, “You’d’ve come to Hell anyways, so really it’s no huge issue! I promise I’ll be a kind master!”

Alastor froze. The word “master” was replaying over and over in his head. What had he done? Was this God laughing in his face for murdering people? What cruel irony had befallen him!

“Anyways! What’s your name? Where am I? You know, I didn’t expect you humans to be this tall! Dad always talks about you like you’re absolutely tiny. Then again, this isn’t as big as I actually get... hmmm.”

Alastor latched onto the only concept he could process at that moment, “Dad?”

“Oh yes! It was rude of me to ask your name without giving mine, wasn’t it?” The demon laughed, embarrassed, “My name is Charlotte Magne, Princess of Hell, Heir to the Fallen’s Throne, but I go by Charlie for short. My dad is Lucifer, King of Hell, ruler of the Fallen’s Kingdom, or as we nicknamed it, Hell. Now, what’s your name?”

Alastor immediately regretted his question. Until a thought occurred to him, “Why, my name is Alastor LaCroix! Say, since I’m supposedly pledged to you, does that mean it’s in your best interest to keep me safe and intact?”

The princess, Charlie, narrowed her eyes, her wide energetic smile shrinking to one of cool calculation, and Alastor almost felt tempted to fidget. Maybe it was just the knowledge of who, and what, she was, but something about Charlie seemed to connect with him on a predatory level: like a lion and a tiger meeting.

“Well, there is no ‘supposedly’ about it, Alastor. But I suppose I can humor you. After all, now that your soul belongs to me, there is no where in the three realms you could run that I could not find you.”

Alastor still maintained his grin, despite his annoyance at the correction, “Well, darling, I don’t know the official rules, but I was hoping to make a deal with you!”

Alastor was praying this worked. He figured that as the daughter of the Devil, she would have a predisposition towards deals. He hoped.

“A deal? With me? You’ve already made one and lost your soul! Daddy really wasn’t kidding when he said humans were stupid little things, was he?”

Alastor felt his eye twitch wildly, “I take personal offense to that.”

Charlie once more stepped forward, leaning into Alastors space with her hands behind her back and a bright smile on her face again, “Fine then, Alastor. What deal do you have for me? If it’s something silly to try and wiggle out of your commitment, I would recommend not bothering. Also, know that if I don’t accept your deal, and counter it, and you decline my counter, I’ll be taking you straight to Hell with me tonight.”

Alastor withheld the urge to swallow, “Well, dear, on that note, I did have a single question to ask before I proposed my deal!”

“Then what is your question?”

He took a steadying breath, “Why, I wanted to know if you were going to kill me, or if I wouldn’t see you you again until I died naturally, of course.”

Charlie hummed thoughtfully, her hand holding her chin, “Well, it would depend entirely on what I feel like doing. I don’t have many friends in Hell, as you could imagine, and having some company would be nice. Then again, forty or fifty years really isn’t that long of a wait.”

Alastor nearly choked at that, ‘not that long of a wait! How old is she?’

“Of course, of course, my dear! However, I do recall you saying that you had never seen a human before. How would you like to meet more?”

Now this piqued Charlie’s interest, and Alastor noticed. His grin widened just a tad.

“What do you mean? Meet more?”

“Yes indeedy! How about this: if you allow me to live, and cut my time that I am pledged to you in half, I will let you stay with me here! On Earth! And you can see the sights, meet the people, really just have a jolly good time!”

Charlie tilted her head, and looked at him oddly for a moment, “You can’t cut eternity in half, Alastor.”

For what felt like the millionth time that night, Alastor froze again, “Eternity?”

“Well yes, Alastor. What did you think these symbols meant? And not only that, but that deal weighs heavily in your favor. Did you really think it’d be that easy to fool me? The daughter of the King of One-sided deals?”

Alastor scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile, not really willing to say ‘yes, I did’.

The princess laughed, brilliant peels of laughter seeming to cascade from her black lips, “You did! Oh, you humans are so cute! Now I believe it’s my turn to counter your deal, yes?”

Charlie grins widely, showing off razor sharp teeth, eyes glowing viciously in the moonless bayou, “I allow you to live out the rest of your fated time here on Earth, and in turn, I am allowed to come topside anytime I so please to... check on you, as my investment. How does that sound?”

Alastor’s grin dimmed a bit, “That deal does not involve any mention of my time being reduced.”

Charlie smiled slyly, “I never said it would.”

Now Alastor has a choice to make: take her deal, and live out his natural life with the guarantee of her being able to do as she pleases, so long as she isn’t the one that kills him; or die and go to Hell with her right now. Regardless of his decision, his soul was owned, and he was going to Hell for all eternity at her side.

“Well, I guess I don’t really have a choice then. I’ll take your offer.”

“Good! I was actually hoping you would!” And then she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. His eyes were open the entire time, so he noticed the burning red light that emitted from them when she did, as well as felt heat surround him. It felt like fire had bloomed all around them.

He reared back quickly, sputtering, “What the devil was that?”

Charlie giggled lightly, finding his flustered state rather endearing, “The deal is struck! Now, did you need any help... cleaning up? I don’t mind helping out, if need be!”

Alastor stared at her with eyes wide as dinner plates, “You would just... help me get away with murder?”

Charlie shrugged her shoulders, her smile dropping for the first time that evening, “Well, I don’t like it, and I find it rather horrid, if I’m entirely honest. But, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Alastor was silent for a few moments, staring in wonder at this demoness, “You’re the princess of Hell, but... you don’t like murder? I was only asking because I thought you’d think it below you. Disliking it though? What wacky nonsense!”

Charlie stiffened, narrowing her eyes at Alastor, and he felt the air around them heat to near unbearable temperatures, “Did you have a problem with it?”

Waving his hands in front of him he quickly corrected himself, “None at all! Just a tad bit surprised, dear.”

Immediately the air cooled down, leaving Alastor to tug a bit at his bow tie.

“So are we done here or do you need to clean up?”

“Ah, I was done anyways, darling.”

“Sweet! Then let’s go! I want to see your world. Ooh, are we in a swamp or something? This is water? It’s so cold!”

Alastor couldn’t help the chuckle as the demoness in front of him ran wildly from one place to another, marveling at all the things she had apparently never seen.

“It’s called a Bayou, around these parts. Yes, that’s water, and it’s not cold, it’s actually quite warm for water. If I may, if you want to come with me to where all the other humans are you’ll have to blend in a little more. Suffice to say, most people aren’t used to seeing demons on the streets, sweetheart!”

“Oh yes! You are right. Well I suppose I could just change quickly!” And then she snapped her fingers and now in front of him stood a woman of average height with Blond hair, pale skin, but not the ivory white it had been, and black eyes, the sclera now a normal human shade of white. She wore a black and pink flapper dress, that Alastor could admit looked rather charming on her, and a pair of low black heels.

Alastor blinked for a moment, “Well that’ll work.”

“Let’s go!” And she grabbed him by the hand, almost literally dragging him towards Lord knows where.

“Do you even know where you’re going?”

“Well, no, but I want to see everything.”

Alastor smiled. He was still peeved that this had happened at all, but at least the gal was rather charming, and had allowed him to live.

Oh, who was he kidding? He was going to do everything he could to get out of this, no matter how adorable the princess of Hell was!

‘Wait... adorable?’

Aaaaaaand Cut scene! Hope you all enjoyed!

[surveysonfleek]

746.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 47

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with? anyone who’s acting suspicious or uneasy. 4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? i’ve never read any of his books tbh. 4503. What movie are you looking forward to? ocean’s eight! 4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana? i can’t even imagine him without one. 4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think? both, i think they work hand in hand.

4506. Have you been to see an opera? no, i wouldn’t mind seeing it though. 4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? what the future will bring. or at least what direction it’ll take. 4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking? no. 4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused? nope. 4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of referances in this survey that you are not getting? yeah, it’s lame. a lot of grammatical errors too. 4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy? lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy's dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book an original andy warhol painting, snoopy’s dog house, feather pillows, slurpee machine and house plants. 4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex bed, love, love, smiles, sex. 4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan? bowie. 4514. Who'd win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith? idk either of them enough to choose. 4515. Earth girls are: what are earth girls? 4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction? i’d be supportive and congratulate them. 4517. Would you ever consider working for the government? i would, they get really good benefits here. 4518. What are the best and wort television channels? i hardly watch tv. 4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? money!! 4520. Your boots were made for: walking. 4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn't a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)? idk... 4522. What's the buzz? nothing. 4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is: someone i hate. 4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner? i couldn’t put a time limit on it. i might not even move on, who knows. 4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think? it’s definitely possible for other humans to do this. 4526. What would you like to touch? the biggest diamond in the world. 4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark? nail polish. 4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? dragon. 4529. Do things just always go right for you? hell no. 4530. What's the best nick toon? hey arnold. 4531. Can you make a balloon animal? nope :( 4532. Would you undress at a nude beach? no. 4533. Wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false? i guess that’s the allure of calling it a secret recipe. 4534. What is today but yesterday's tommorrow? the present. 4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like squidworth who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him? squidworth. 4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? aiming for the usual 8. 4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness? being pretentious obviously just means you think you’re better/smarter than the people you’re with. 4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between? i hate poems. 4539. What do you think of William Blake? Is his writing difficult to understand? never read his stuff. 4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete? not at all. but in this survey, yes omg... 4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? me. 4542. What is the difference between literature and hallmark cards? everything lol. 4543. How many contemporary poets can you name? none. 4544. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? i’m open to talking about anything as long as it’s with the right people. 4545. Are you every parent's wet dream? ew, no. 4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not? idk. 4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member? sure. 4548. Greatest black and white film: i haven’t watched many in my time tbh. 4549: Greatest film three hours or longer: titanic, duhhhh. 4550. No means.. no. 4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or aquantance how likly are you to criticize it? if i know them well i’d give them constructive criticism. i don’t think i’d bash the work of someone i didn’t know. 4552. Do you mentally reject people? Before speaking to them? some days i just check out i guess. 4553. Are we already living out 1984? no. 4554. Sing, now!  What did you sing? Can you sing? Are you the next american idol? no, no, i’m not american. 4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm? no lol. 4556. Have you ever been airbrushed? no. 4557. Are you an alitist? What are you elitist about? lol let’s not go there. 4558. Are you arrogant? About what? i’m arrogant towards arrogant people, does that count?  4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford no. 4559. Are you trecherous? no. 4560. Nam the ten bands you are the biggest fan of: Name the ten bands who are your biggest fans: no. 4561. Are you jolly? not really. 4562. What does the world stop for? nothing. anything could happen and in some places it’ll just be business as usual. 4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge? no thanks. 4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car? personal live in masseuse that also cooks haha. 4565. What were you born holding? nothing. 4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character? depends if it works with the other features of the face. 4567. Name three things you would NOT do, even for one million dollars (tax free): 1 kill a human, 2 eat a human. 3 kill someone’s pet 4568. Who has rejected you? Who have you rejected? certain jobs. 4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes? perfumes and colognes! 4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ss. 4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee? lol. 4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups? shit i guess. 4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up? my boyfriend always does this lol. i hardly ever do it, i’m pretty forgetful. What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up? no, if i repeat this i’ll always the credit the person that told me. 4574. What's on your pajamas? plain colours. 4575. Are people nicer in new york or california? i’m guessing california. 4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit? i’d love to do it temporarily. 4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone? no way. i’d never try and break up a couple. 4578. Do you play in the snow? haven’t done so in about ten years. 4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time? no lol. ouch. 4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables? What vegetable would play jesus? idk. 4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack? the next? has there already been one? 4582. You can't make this easy can you? nope. 4583. What is a small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequenses? cheating. 4584. Are you the open window maniac? no? 4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?  What exactly do hall monitors do anyway? nope, never had one in my school either. 4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween? cow lol. 4587. When was the last timeyou played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc? as a kid. 4588. Can you leap frog? i haven’t tried in years. maybe! 4589. What was the lost strong and clear emotion yo felt? idk... 4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot? candle. 4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust? i’m not the right person to ask. 4592. Are you an angel in disguise? no, i wish. 4593. Could you have fun with ajelly fish? for 12 hours? no thanks. 4594. Who throws the wildest parties? it used to be this one guy i know. and then we all grew up. 4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt? yes. 4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be? the office. or the simpsons. anything with a ton of episodes and is funny. 4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet? no. 4598. have you ever been stung by anything? What? nope. 4599. Who's autograph have you gotten in the last year? no one. i feel like selfies with celebrities are more popular now than autographs. 4600. Are you enjoying this? no.

[shsl-seinen]

45 questions...now that endgame has commenced

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Nope! She has no siblings and her mother’s gone up and left when she was young, so the closest she’s with is her father, whom of which she regrets not cherishing him enough before getting trapped in VR hell, so whoops! Sucks for you, Ai! (EDIT: I MISREAD THIS SLIGHTLY SO YOU GET EXTRA INFO ON AI’S THOUGHTS ABT HER DAD LOL) Speaking of mom…

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Uhh not too well NOWADAYS, considering she left when Ai was young, but they spent time together watching TVs dramas and comedies and playing with Ai’s toys together and such, as Naoko (her mum’s name) was a stay-at-home mom. Nowadays Ai wonders how she is (in a bit of a more spiteful sense but…maybe it’s in a different sense now.) since she KNOWS her dad’s pretty lonely and a bit distraught for being left with her daughter (that resembles her a little too well, down to appearance, acrid tongue and drama love). …perhaps she’s forgotten about Ai and Yosuke by now. Speaking of THAAAT…

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Well, pretty distant and a bit one-sided, unfortunately. They were like any other cute father-daughter pair up until Naoko left, then Yosuke (dad’s name) became a bit distraught with being left a single dad. (He works as a nurse at a hospital!) Still, he took care of her nonetheless–then Ai started to become distant by middle school. Her working on her drawings and getting bullied and developing a bit of a sleazy, drama-loving personality and all–it REALLY started to hit by high school. Even if Ai was raking in cash with her manga and giving a portion of it to dad to help financially, she basically kept cooped up in her room and their interactions were mere greetings. Heck, she mostly ate meals in her room! A shame, really.

Edit: Regret. She…she feels regret.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

THIS was a toughie. Perhaps one major thing was seeing Shoko Yazawa, the girl she indirectly gossiped about being a compensated dater, commit social suicide and basically disappear from Kameoka. She just…doesn’t feel comfy thinking about how she might actually be dead and how something that might have not even been true at ALL possibly cost her her social life. She may like drama, but she feels lies makes it…complicated? I can’t find the right word. Everything’s more authentic when it’s true and real, Ai feels.

EDIT: Cody’s deletion. It gave her the feeling that they very well may just be erased off the face of the Earth without feeling anything, in the blink of an eye. Mostly because, spoiler spoiler, Ai glitched out in the hospital space just like Cody but got spawned in a different area rather than deleted. So. Yeah. Scary.

EDIT 2: I GUESS DYING AND WHAT FOLLOWED AFTERWARD WAS AN EYE OPENER

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Out of game: strawberry gum/various candies, her phone, a spare pen/pencil or two just in case~! Not like she’d need to carry stuff in her pockets–she’s mostly a shut-in anyway!

In Telos Hell: Her ID, and…er, that’d…probably be it. I didn’t think this very through. In the case of what she often CARRIES (like, in her hands) it’d be snacks like pudding or candy and her sketchbook, I suppose.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Erm…this took a while to answer since I never thought that Ai would have dreams–I lowkey imagined her to be one of those dreamless sleepers. Y’know, granted she doesn’t get much shut-eye in the first place? But I suppose her dreams often involve her being a shadow or a ghost of some sorts in a bit of a beat-up town, just watching the town go on (robberies, theft, murder, or just…regular things like a couple arguing or girls gossiping) as no one notices her.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

This goes just as above, but I’ll list it out anyway: I feel something along the lines of all eyes and blinding lights always being on her wherever she tries to run, and all mouths (her classmates, her fans, her patrons her dad, her mom, Shoko) always speaking of her, revealing her gross nature in contrast to the mysterious but ladylike (??? I guess?) mangaka alias she pretends to be online. Maybe hands would be holding her down so she can’t run and has to face all the lights and all the people.

I figure she doesn’t have nightmares often, since, again, she doesn’t get much shuteye, but…ha

EDIT: Glitchy erasure has probably haunted her a few times nowadays.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Pretty much! She didn’t grow up POOR but things were probably pretty tight at one point in her life, considering Yosuke soon became a single working dad in the middle of Ai’s childhood. As soon as she started raking in that Sweet Sweet Manga Cash, however, she was happy to set out a portion of her money for her dad, so they ended up okay and a little well off! (Not rich but u get what i mean, hopefully)

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More clothing–she just feels better that way.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Hoo-wee. It’s…a liiittle hard to say.

Tora chapter 2 was a doozy, but she wasn’t as scared then as she was, say...witnessing Cody getting erased, or glitching out HERSELF way back in ch7 when she was in the hospital space. She just felt...terrified, feeling like she’d suddenly disappear without another word, AND without feeling anything.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Whenever she’s in her room, not disturbed by anyone, just browsing through social media idly with snacks on standby. Or asleep, considering … help this girl

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

She really isn’t…at least, she thought she wasn’t. She’s gotten pretty used to the sight of blood as a kid, when she’d gotten the occasional bloody nose from bullying back in her school days, and ofc with her job revolving around illustrating violence and sometimes GORE, you get immune to it!

At least, you think you do. As quoted from what I put on that FE AU spreadsheet a longass while ago “Gore looks much…mushier than on paper.”

Ryouji’s dead corpse was a nice ‘ol REVELATION for Ai. Since the closest thing to shit like that was descriptions of shit from the hospital (thanks nurse dad) and anatomy charts and guro art she’s browsed, seeing a REAL corpse in such a situation was…a game changer.

At this point, Ai’s a bit immune to it lol. So many bodies, yanno? She’s now…scarily used to it. Of course, the nature and customization of the executions are…unnerving to her, sometimes. I’m talking to you, Ryouji, lmao (She’ll probably still be pretty unnerved if she…ever…wants to go back to drawing manga tho…I don’t think she will. She’ll take a longass break.)

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Depends, I would think. Ingame: faces, but out of game, since she doesn’t really care for her classmates and real people and shit, she remembers names more. The internet is a far more vast place, after all.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

This is hard because I don’t think about this often myself

I guess she IS? She enjoys having things like snacks and desserts and tech around her, but she’s mostly just preoccupied with drama, relationships, fights and…people, I guess. I don’t have a good answer for this.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

I was about to say neither and point at “enjoyment”, but I guess…that could…sort of align with happiness? You can’t be a mangaka forever, and WHAT ELSE is she good for? Ha. She’d rather sit back and simply be able to enjoy a show rather than idealize shit like that. Life’s a show you can’t waste a minute to wake in!

…mm.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Dolls, probably. Y’know, er…the equivalent of Barbie dolls, I guess? I can’t go too into depth since I haven’t fleshed out her childhood all too much, but…dolls seem accurate for her. She’d like dressing them up, decorating the houses (if that was a thing…?) and sometimes even playing pretend with them, I’d imagine–and Naoko would honestly play along with her, I’d think!

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

She admires the pettiness ambition of people around her, really. Just…seeing the lengths people would go for their goals, good or bad.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Like I said, she was literally alienated at the concept of people caring about her and her wellbeing.

Said alienation, initial refusal to accept praise of her, AND general nasty/careless/joking attitude, as well as her constant self-deprecation is a pretty fuckin’ big downer in relationships. Hell, part of her attitude already drives people away, she knows–might as well show she’s self-aware of it right?

…it’s definitely cost her potential friendships. Lots of ‘em.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Depends. …mostly the latter though. She knows she’s a piece of shit but occasionally she sees some people and goes “ok at least I’m not them tho lol”. Sorry Senji, Ryouji, some others I probably forgot to mention here. I still love you.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Oh hell yeah she thinks she deserves it. Karma, baby! Gotta love it.

What does your character like in other people?

Pettiness, wittiness, cunning, the ability to take a joke and make a joke–people who are laidback and careless enough to not be easily brought down. ok look masashi “hee-haw” oichi is a special case here, she thinks hee-haw is annoying but ill be damned if she doesnt eventually get used to it and admires masashi’s directness

What does your character dislike in other people?

Pettiness done WRONG to look like absolute immaturity…and on that note, people acting like loud immature brats in general, people who hold huge grudges over small and/or past events, haughtiness, tryhards (ok yes she can be a tad hypocritical but she’ll swear there’s a difference), people who (in her words, probs) have “sticks up their asses”…you surely get the gist.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

LMAO NOT QUICK @ ALL (especially in a game like this) she can drop trust pretty quickly tho ;0

…once you do end up gaining her trust, though, it’s strong with just a liiitle bit of doubt. As soon as you break it tho, her trust in you AND others plummet down the fucking toilet so lol

EDIT: ok so i’ll be honest now that it��s endgame, the reason she seems more willing to believe lies in others than she probs should is that she believes in predictability and also me myself, the mun, am Fucking Dumbass and fall for the lies myself, so if i can’t see past them even if Ai in-characterly Can, then im sorry my dudes im Fucking Dumb :’O

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Pretty quick, but she won’t necessarily voice it until she has a good opportunity. If they’re close to her, and she trusts them, she won’t suspect them unless shit seriously starts pointing to them, then it starts getting 👀👀👀

How does your character behave around children?

[ai voice] i think the fuck not, goodbye

She doesn’t…handle children well.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

haha……………..she doesn’t (usually)

She literally watches drama from afar, you think she wanna get involved in shit?

…when she does deal with it, she replies as bluntly and honestly as possible so she can get it over with. confrontation? no thanks lol

…maybe she’ll add some sass when she finds a good opportunity if she wants to make the confronter feel like a dumbass or smth, or if it starts to piss her off.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Ai…knows that violence in a losing battle for her. She’s weak. (….listen ryouji was already down in that one trial, ok) If a punch is thrown, she’ll either dodge and run, or take it and scuttle, tbh.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

She didn’t really have those types of dreams as a kid, really?? But maybe her drawings as she grew up started to make her think of being an artist. And…well, it DID come true, right? …with, y’know, the cost of tons of potential friendships. And other shit. ha

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Well, ONE thing is wasted opportunity, which is why, as you saw, Ai was PISSED at Ryouji when he was the chapter 6 culprit.

…okay, that’s very exaggerated for being listed and something “repulsive” to her, but…disgusting? ye.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Same spiel as the calm one, if you scroll up: in her room back at Kameoka, no one bothering her, the sound of rain and muffled thunder rumbles outside as she scrolls through the internet, snacks at her side while feeling cozy af in warm clothing/probably a blanket over her.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

I can list a few, actually! A certain text conversation between Andrew and Ai during Chapter 6, CHPT4 MONOTHEATER IN TORA AND CHPT5 MONOTHEATER? IN TELOS I BELIEVE? Because there was a very down, depressed vibe goin’ on–mostly the reaction of the deaths and all that, and the feeling that…everyone’s in despair. And tense. It’s infectious, unfortunately.

…and also, er, tora chpt2 trial. You Know,

EDIT: Cody’s erasure lol

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

SELF-DEPRECATION, BABY ;0

Nowadays, thanks to the magic of Character Development, she’s starting to see that she can improve. So she does the third one more, now.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

She’s definitely the type to keep trying a certain method a few times before moving on in frustration.

How does your character behave around people they like?

Laidback, and more open, with banter all around! If you’re someone she likes who has…made an impact on her (like Holly acting like a big sis for her, thanks holly ily) then she’ll still make jokes but not be as biting! She’ll try to be more lightheartedly jokey rather than have each joke be a diss.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Prepare for disses, eye rolls and snappy attitudes…or, er, just straight up disrespect and igonring.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Protecting their status, most likely. She…has no honor, really.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

*ahem*

abscond

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Nope! Never been bitten, and she certainly doesn’t plan to!

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

General respect and decency whenever she DOES go out for, say, groceries at 7/11 or something. She’d generally like to leave asap when she goes out though, so she does sometimes ask to, like, quicken the pace. What did the service job people ever do to her, anyhow, besides like, possibly make her wait? No disses here, thank god

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Ai feels she doesn’t…deserve a lot of things she has, and definitely thinks that a lot of kids in Telos don’t deserve the shit they get thrown at them either (but, yes, there are some who she thinks do get what’s coming for them, but not many), so it’d be the latter, I suppose.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Nope. Easy answer.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

…not dependent, but…there’s one person who does a pretty good job trying to be one for her. (Spoiler alert it’s Holly, god bless this water polo player I love her so much get better soon athena ur great ily)

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Pretty goddamn difficult. She thinks of it as a bit of a hard thing to say herself, but agrees it’s something thrown around way too much nowadays–which is, in part, why it’s hard for her to say. (Also she’s never really gotten it from anyone except her parents ha) Ai doesn’t and wouldn’t say it in general (unless it’s joking with friends but even THEN its rare bc Got Damn can’t have too much hypocricy) since it’s a bit overused in society and seems like a throwaway term w/o meaning. When she DOES wanna say it MEANINGFULLY, she’d really want to MEAN it, which is hard with…the kind of mindset she has on the word.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

She doesn’t know!

Which is exactly what scares her.

Not like she thinks about it often, though! (er…well…maybe she does now.)

Nor does she want to. :)

EDIT: this still goes unchanged but it goes to show, uh...what she might’ve thought when she was “dying” at the time.

[arisinninn]

$$holla hollas gimme dollas$$

so, since this is already the commissions info post I’ve got up and don’t wanna have to change the links where I’ve put it on my art and pages, I’ll just change up the info on this post. hope no one minds.

I’m opening up commissions on here. coolio.

I’m still working with a mouse as of late. be aware that with commissions, especially if I get numerous orders at once, I’m prob not gonna be the fastest.

(more info under the cut bc I’m really sick of scrolling for ages to get to the end of my own post)

info listed:

my pricing

payment info

communications

what I can/can’t draw

‘I’m not interested in buying, but other people might’

my pricing

(my art tag has examples of more varied stuff I can do. [#my art])

depending on size, detail, style, and difficulty, prices may differ. 

I’m always cool discussing these kinda things upfront, as suddenly mentioning the price you thought you’d be paying is actually too low after I’ve already finished the thing would prob be super inconvenient.

payment info

paypal: rpdavispr@yahoo.com

(insert ‘you punched the bursar’ joke here)

I am using my dad’s paypal for any and all transactions, as I kinda suck at keeping track of money anyway. shit goes through sun dad.

I’ll probably go with the common ‘you pay half price up front, you get a sample of the finished deal, you pay the rest, and I give you the full res finished piece after’ method. Full price up front works even better, but first time buyers may prefer this. If neither method work for you, we can probably work somethin out.

Be aware that I won’t start the commission until I’ve been paid to some degree.

how the heck do I get ahold of you anyway?

I’m always available via asks and dms, and dad’s email should be open for money related questions. 

I keep hearing about this ‘invoice’ thing, but since it seems available only through paypal, I’m pretty sure that falls under sun dad’s jurisdiction. it’s not currently something I can handle doin myself.

Note though: dad’s email and any communications that go through him are a lot more formal than talking to me directly. as he’s an old fuddy duddy, he’s probably not gonna get that you’re serious if you make 5 mario kart jokes in a single sentence. feel 100% free to hit me up with exactly 100 mario kart jokes in a single sentence while ordering a commission, but like, maybe don’t do it w/ my dad. he’s like 60. don’t. however, most communications won’t concern him at all unless there’s an issue with the payment.

what can you draw?

can

fanart

furries

chibis

robots (like MTT complexity)

shipping art

ocs

icons

small gifs

pixels

suggestive scenes

basic landscapes

basic a lot of things tbh

gore/guro

specific color palettes

portraits/actual people

fandoms I’m not in

fandoms I don’t really like

traditional art

pls I just need the money ask away

(most pricing for these aren’t solidified so be sure to specify what you want and how you want it done when placing an order)

can’t (or rather won’t w/o extra pay)

mechas (like Transformers complexity)

explicitly nsfw scenes

overly complex scenery/backgrounds

also maybe don’t ask for somethin that’s gonna elicit questioning if found by the government please thanks

I’m not really interested, but your prices are pretty okay and someone else might wanna buy from you.

that’s cool; a reblog and generally just sharing this around really helps!! thanks for readin this far anyway!! have a wonderful day man

[ithic]

ALL OF THEM

yer a cunt, harry.

and since this post is obscenely longit’ll be sitting pretty beneath this line.warning; vulgar as fuck shit below ;death. beast. gore. kids, rape. like, don’t read this if you’re sensitive really.

A is for AFTERCARE; what he’s like after sex

well, i guess that realistically that would depend on a few things. if he’s in human shape, and with someone he actually cares about he would curl into them / pull them close, nuzzle, and generally love on them as much as a hellbeast can - if he doesn’t care about them, just lay there or leave. pointless sex is pointless sex, there’s no need to stick around. now if he’s beast form… well either he loves the thing and he hoards it as his own, pulling it close into his creepy boney limbs, or he kills ( if he didn’t fuck it to death ) and eats it. well, lovely.

B is for BODY PART;  favourite body part of own & partners

ODDLY his favourite body part of his own would be his horns, he just likes them - but they’re endlessly annoying, get caught on things and fucking he has to break them off every time he shifts into human form. in human form, he likes hands. his own, others - hands fascinate him because in his normal state, he doesn’t really have hands like a human; they’re either kind of faded out of reality, or bones and claw, so. touching things is so nice.

C is for CUM; something to do with cum

well apart from having a bit of a fascination with cum, because it’s just so bizarre, his own cum is like obscenely warm. in human form it isn’t quite as bad, just like tepid warm water, normal consistency. but when in his natural state, its extremely warm, like below boiling but that kind of hot water that feels almost cold because it’s so hot - it can be painful if you’re heat sensitive. he also would have a disturbing amount of cum in natural form, because he’s fucking massive. lets not chat about how he’s built like a dog; cumming, and cumming, and bam. stuck.

D is for DIRTY SECRET; self explanatory

i don’t think he really has a dirty secret, since he doesn’t really understand the concept of a secret. uh, i mean maybe that he gets turned on by things that shouldn’t turn him on, just because he’s so sensitive and there’s no - i mean, in the void they’re never like don’t have sex with kids, don’t hump trees. he has no social understanding of these things. 

E is for EXPERIENCE; how experienced is he, etc

zero. none. he is useless and awkward i fucking tell you. he just does what his body or his partner tells him to do. if you expect to cum, you’re gonna have to sit the boy down and show him a few pornos first. he does his best, and he’s a fast learner, but his basic mode is hump, cum, done.

F is for FAVOURITE POSITION; self explanatory

well, all of them. probably particularly fond of being behind his partner, because it speaks to his inner hellbeast. 

G is for GOOFY;  serious / humorous / etc ‘in the moment’

i mean he tries to be serious, but this is ith. “i apologize, jill, i was not intentionally aiming to ‘fucking cum’ in your hair - i did not mean to ruin your new and as you said expensive hair cut, i will reimburse you for the cost. i am shamed.” just. 

H is for HAIR; body hair information

human form he’s like, hairless mostly because he just is. beast mode he’s mostly bone; fur on his head but not his muzzle, down his neck and shoulders, bone chest, fur stomach, fur down to about the knee. he’s a fucking wreck, i can’t draw or i would. 

I is for INTIMACY; how does he act during ~the moment

again this hugely depends. meaningful sex he’s very possessive and loving, passionate as he can be - meaningless, he’s violent, probably a little too violent. whoops; didn’t mean to impale you so sorry.

J is for JACK OFF; masturbation headcanon

he does not, and has never done so. would he? absolutely. the question is, who wants to teach him.

K is for KINK; one or more kinks

innocence, sensation play, public sex, exploration, breeding. i mean, any kink he’s down for but that’s top shit there.

L is for LOCATION; favourite place to get it on

earth.

M is for MOTIVATION; what gets the gears grinding

E V E R Y TH I N G; being that he was sexually deprived, and now he’s got this fancy new body that just likes a lot of stuff. he can put his shirt on and be like oh it’s doing that again? brushes against a kid on the bus - well would you look at that. someone is eating ice cream, not even seductively, shit it’s doing the thing! touches hot burning, cock twitches. he’s a wreck honestly. 

N is for NO; absolute hard limit / turn offs / etc

PURPOSEFULLY killing people / hurting people. i mean surely he has more but he has not discovered them. right now the only thing that kills the mood is hurting . killing . scaring people. like he didn’t MEAN to terrify you because he was peeling his skin off, honestly.

O is for ORAL; preference / ability

preference: often. ability: beast form prehensile long tongue.

P is for PACE; favoured pace

another ‘that depends’; beast always favours fast fucking violently; human, usually more sensual because sensitivity and all that shit. 

Q is for QUICKIE; opinion on quickies vs slow

beast; get it done mate. human; let me love you for nineteen hours.

R is for RISK; does he experiment / open to experiment

always. always. like he will try anything once - more than once, if you ask nice. like literally, he will do nearly anything, because no social stigma, no fear, no anything. hey ith, fuck me with this chainsaw, sure jane but won’t that hurt? hey ith, lets have sex in the ocean surrounded by sharks - sure dan, what’s a shark? hey ith put your dick in this potted plant - i am unsure why you ask me to do this, melissa, but i will if it pleases you. 

S is for STAMINA; self explanatory

unstoppable.

T is for TOY; does he own toys / use toys / opinion on toys

anything can be a toy if you try hard enough.

U is for UNFAIR; how much of a tease is he

none. zero. but he is H I G H L Y susceptible to teasing. like, probably more than is okay. some cute girl makes googly eyes at him on the bus, and she might get violently fucked on her walk home, because he thinks that’s what the human was looking at him like that for.

V is for VOLUME; are they loud / what sounds does he make

pretty quiet, because he doesn’t want to go glitchmode. beast loud af tho. 

W is for WILD CARD; random headcanon - *first time

T R I GGER WARNING; little kid, rape, death, gore. yeah, it wasn’t pretty. so when he first came thru, it took him a while to figure out how to human form. well, one of the first people he met was a little girl, who was super sweet to him and not horrified. children are less likely to be scared because they’re so fucking wide-eyed and innocent. anyway, well the beast is like nine feet tall, and his cock is pretty fucking proportioned to that. kid was cute, cuddly and playful with him, he got excited, and just - well, he didn’t know he shouldn’t do that. he’d fucked things to death in the void before, but this felt different, and he has absolutely HATED himself for it since. like he gets sick feeling thinking about it because he doesn’t ENJOY hurting people.

X is for XRAY; what’s under the pants

in human form it’s a dick, like a normal dick. circumcised, 8inches, flesh coloured, normal cock. beast mode, uh, fucking uncomfortably large canine-y cock, sheathed until excited, and yes it knots. i mean his C A N O N beast form would be this ( though he has anubis-type legs ); and his cock would be this but, bigger and realistic; his knot would also be larger.   | it’s a toy, not a real thang you good.

Y is for YEARNING; how high is his sex drive

i feel like i answered this he is A L W A Y S dtf.

Z is for ZZZ; how quickly he falls asleep after

he doesn’t sleep

[mental-health-advice]

Submittion from Bloody-dreams

tag bloody-dreams. I’m wondering if I should be concerned about certain thoughts that I’ve been having for a long time now. I enjoy looking and guro/gore both in art and irl. I know that it’s not something that everyone enjoys, but I like the look of blood. I have self-harmed for various reasons, just seeing blood being one (I’ve only done it when I’m having severe emotional distress, ie threat of being homeless). I would rather hurt myself than to hurt others. My family that I currently live with (aunt and uncle) are Trump supporters and my aunt is a Good Christian Woman (if you can tell what I mean). They have constantly held the fact that they let me live with them over my head and have basically forced me to do what they want. They even drew up a “contract” that I had absolutely zero say in. Anyways, I have felt like hurting them (or myself; self-harm, and suicidal thoughts). I’m afraid that one day I could ‘snap’ and actually do something that I will regret. More recently however I’ve been thinking of getting a cage and some mice. Figure out how to humanely kill them (or just at least one) and dissect it. I’ve also thought about taking the bat in my car to something to vent my anger. I’ve thought of taking a hammer to my leg or hand, putting my leg in a door and slamming it, buying cigarettes just so that I can burn myself (I vowed to never smoke because my grandma died of it, and I promised my mom). I do plan on telling my therapist all of this when I go for my next meeting (this thursday), but I have no idea what she’ll say or think (especially since we haven’t really gotten to the topic of self-harm) and I want to know of what things I might ask her in the future about this. Or at least of some ways I can vent these feelings in a safe way.

Hey there, bloody-dreams. I hope that your day is going well! It is really nice out where I am, so maybe if it’s nice where you are you should go outside and get some fresh air. That always seems to make me feel better. I understand why you would be frustrated with these people. I also understand why you would be concerned with these thoughts. I can give you my thoughts and some advice on this subject.

You said that you would be willing to talk with your therapist. If you haven’t done that already then I would suggest that. Your therapist can give you some advice on how to get rid of these thoughts and how to cope better. They could help you with your self-harm problem as well. When it comes to talking with your therapist, you could start with self-harm and then bring up the other bad thoughts. If you find it hard to tell her directly then I recommend writing it on paper.

If you are having trouble with self-harm, I’ll try my best to give you advice. I would suggest some alternatives to self-harming. If you cut so that you can see blood, I would suggest putting red food coloring on your arm, drawing with red marker, or painting with paint. I would also recommend using distractions whenever you get thoughts like these. If you want to self-harm, try to distract yourself with something that you enjoy. I like to play video games and help out on this blog to distract myself. Try to make a list to refer to whenever you feel bad.

When it comes to gore and guro, I think it kinda of depends on the person. I think it is okay to view these things. The reason why people find gore and stuff like this interesting is because it is frightening and therefore stimulating. It is also something that is taboo which draws a lot of people to it. So I don’t think liking gore is 100% bad. I say this, but I also want to say that it is not 100% good either. I know that I like gore but I tended to look at it when I was more depressed. Gore may also be fueling your thoughts of harming others. So I think you need to think if it is hurting you or not.

I know that you can get through this! Remember that we have a live chat service that is available to everyone. You can send in a request or see if an admin has posted that they are online. If you feel like you are in immediate danger please go to the hospital. I want you to be safe.

I wish you luck!

Contents Page

-Rachel

“The sun will rise and we will try again.”

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever worn those Drunk Goggles? never

Which decade before the 90s had the best makeup trends? I don’t know enough about make up to say

Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? get upset

Does it bug you when long socks are constantly falling down? when it slips inside my boot omg

Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? cruel

Do you care what kind of toilet paper you use? nah

What color of roses do you find the prettiest? herbaciane

Which celebrity has the cutest butt? Abbi Jacobson

After a holiday, do you go to the store to get candy on sale? nope

Did Marilyn Monroe look better before or after cosmetic surgery? I don’t see a big difference

Bullfighters who get gored kind of had it coming, right? absolutely

Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? obvi

Do you draw fanart of anything? nope, just my OCs

What things have people shamed you for? sigh...

What device do you seem to always be buying batteries for? the only thing I ever buy batteries for are camera and flashlight

Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? you mean sex shops? nah

Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? no

Do you watch The Masked Singer?  just fragments

Favorite Alfred Hitchcock film? I’m not a fan of Aflred Hitchcock, I saw Birds only

Do you like Funko Pop figurines? meh

If so, do you have any? Which ones would you like to have? I don’t own nor want any

Which ones do you think they should make (but haven’t yet)? I don’t care

Have you ordered anything online today? I haven’t

Commonly asked question, but what was the last song you listened to? I listened to Momomoyouth’s songs 

Are your hands warm or cold at the moment? warm

Do you own a teddy bear? Who gave it to you? plenty

Have you had any songs stuck in your head today? sure

Have you ever worn blue mascara? in middle school from what I remember

When you feel low, what is guaranteed to lift your mood? there’s no guarantee

Do you have any flowers in your garden?  lots

Is there anyone from your past that you think about, from time to time? of course

What’s the weather been like today? cold

Did you change into other clothes after you got home? because of covid

What were some positive things about today? spending time with dad, getting a new hoodie, joking with my gf...

What were some negative things about today? some food issues, health issues, people related issues...

Rate today on a scale of 1-10. I don’t like rating things this way

I am presuming you are female, am I correct? you are

What month did you come into the world in? February

How easily scared are you? How easily shocked are you? I’m easily grossed out and anxious/worried/paranoid/overthinking etc.

You like the colour blue, don’t you? wouldn’t say so

What makes you irritated? shitload of stuff

Is it morning, afternoon, evening or night? night already

Is it sunny, cloudy, rainy or stormy? dark XD

Would you like to be able to learn how to control a submarine? what for?

From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? 0

Do you notice the heat or the cold more? cold because I hate it, heat I sometimes don’t notice until I get burned :x

What hurts more scratches or bites? bites like a mosquito or dog?...

Do you prefer rabbits to mice? I prefer mice

Are you a sarcastic person? me? sarcastic? are you kidding? :P

Do you see the world in black and white, shades of gray or all colours? shades of grey

Noise or no noise when sleeping? noise until I fall asleep then no noise

Lights on or off when sleeping? lights on until I fall asleep then light off

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? in middle school

If you had to choose would you prefer dull pain for 12hours or sharp for 2? dull pain, sharp pain would stress me out

Koala or Kangaroo? koala

Would you rather be a Model, Famous Scientist, Singer or Chef? scientist or singer, definitely not chef

Would you rather be a pilot, crime scene investigator or estate agent? crime scene investigator or estate agent I think Does making others happy really make you feel happy? yup

Did you ever swear at a teacher in school? Why? noooo

Have you ever wrote your own short story? bunch

What about a novel? Or herhaps you started and couldn’t finish? finished and published, started another 

Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids or a high flying job? I don’t need my house to be big, career or kids to be happy

Would you like twins? heck no

Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? used to, personal

If you were given the choice to choose your childs gender, would you? if I wanted a kid then only a girl so...

Does the sound of knocking/tapping startle you? might 

When was the last time you were in hospital? What for [if comfy saying]? but ER or stayed?

When was the last time you went to the dentist? last week

Are you happy with your social life? I’m fine without one

Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? no What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain? besides key I have a tiny house and a poop emoji Have you ever made something with your own hands that you’re proud of? more than one thing :3 Girls, do you ever just say “Fuck it!” and go without a bra? often Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? wtf, disgusting!

Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? I don’t wanna talk or think about it right now Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I wish

What’s your highest level of education so far? 2 szkoły policealne Would you ever have a UV tattoo? nah Do you work better alone or in a group? dunno

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? yep

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? not without breaking bones 

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? condoms If a stranger went in your bedroom, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? stereotypically because of plushies

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? she would

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? depends

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? 25 PLN

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? :o

Does the smell of cigarettes and beer repulse you? both, yeah

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? outside

Do you own a nightgown? I don’t think so

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? a little

Have you ever had sex or something like it? or smth like it lmfao 

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? from what I remember

Do you always wear your seat belt? I do

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? maybe

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? yeah and the other way around too

Does your bathroom have a window? small

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? I don’t do my eyebrows anyhow

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? loved it <3  want to collect it whole one day

Do you believe prayer really works? sigh...

Have you been on a date in the park? yup

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? could say so

Do you have asthma? it seems

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? sort of

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? ... left? Do you have a bull ring through your nose? I don’t have a septum

Do you and your dad get along? we’re best friends :)

Can you see your purse right now? several

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? nah

Do you actually like sneezing? nooo

Have you taken a shower yet today? not yet and my mom will get mad that I’m not asleep yet in 1... 2... 3...

Do you like hoodies? I do

Big ones or the form fitting kind? oversized

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I don’t wear polo shirts 

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I do

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have many regrets

Do you love your computer? I hate this shit!

Do you basically like all of your clothes? most of them

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? by myself or dad mostly

Do you know anyone inside and out? it’s not possible

Have you learned anything depressing lately? I have Do you worry a lot, or are you pretty much carefree? worry 24/7 What kind of camera do you have? cellphone, Benq and some old tiny thingy I lend for my mom and she hidden it somewhere and now she can’t find it lol Was today good or bad, or has it just started? it was a neutral day, there were good and bad moments, mostly bad or neutral  What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? I don’t know anything for sure Ever broke something really expensive? luckily not Is photography one of your interests? kind of Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? sigh... Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? rarely What is a sad song that you like? I like a lot of sad songs

Last time you drank water? should do that now

Do you own any platform shoes? not currently, I miss my black platforms, it’s been almost 10 years 

Are you adopted? am not Do you like scrapbooking? a bit Do you collect anything valuable? valuable to me Have you ever had a cat meow at you for 20 minutes straight? not that long Do you own a lava lamp? nope Do you know anyone with an bulimia or anorexia? used to Have you ever thought about stepping in front of a car? jumping in front of the car Have you ever laid down in the middle of the street? no When was the last time you used a public bathroom? noon When was the last time you went to the zoo? zoo or petting zoo counts too?

Who do you plan on having wheel chair races with when you grow older? I'll die before getting old Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? yeah... Do you know anyone without a middle name? me and not only How much did your latest sunglasses cost? 3 PLN Are you talking on the phone right now? I’m not