#Anti-Anxiety Pills Online

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Everything You Need to Know About Anxiety Medications

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. While therapy and lifestyle changes can be effective treatments for anxiety, medication is often a crucial component of managing this condition. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore everything you need to know about anxiety medications, including their types, how they work, potential side effects, and more.

Understanding Anxiety

Before delving into anxiety medications, it's essential to understand anxiety itself. Anxiety is a natural response to stress or danger, often referred to as the "fight or flight" response. However, when anxiety becomes chronic and uncontrollable, it can lead to a range of physical and emotional symptoms that significantly impact one's daily life. Common symptoms of anxiety include excessive worry, restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, and difficulty concentrating.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders encompass a wide range of conditions, each with its unique features and triggers. Some common anxiety disorders include:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Individuals with GAD experience excessive and uncontrollable worry about various aspects of life, even when there is no apparent reason to be anxious.

Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD): SAD involves an intense fear of social situations and a strong desire to avoid them. It often leads to social isolation and can severely impact one's social and professional life.

Panic Disorder: People with panic disorder experience recurring panic attacks characterized by sudden and intense fear or discomfort, accompanied by physical symptoms like heart palpitations and shortness of breath.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD is marked by intrusive, repetitive thoughts (obsessions) and ritualistic behaviors (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD can develop after experiencing a traumatic event. It involves symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety.

Specific Phobias: Specific phobias are intense fears of particular objects or situations, such as heights, spiders, or flying.

Anxiety Medications: An Overview

Anxiety medications, also known as anxiolytics, are prescribed to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety disorders. They are not a cure but can provide relief and make it easier for individuals to engage in therapy and implement coping strategies. There are several categories of anxiety medications, each with its mechanism of action and potential side effects:

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs): SSRIs are among the most commonly prescribed medications for anxiety disorders. They work by increasing the levels of serotonin in the brain, which is associated with mood regulation. Popular SSRIs include Prozac, Zoloft, and Lexapro.

Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs): SNRIs, like SSRIs, increase the levels of serotonin, but they also affect norepinephrine. Medications such as Effexor and Cymbalta fall into this category.

Benzodiazepines: Benzodiazepines are fast-acting medications that provide rapid relief from anxiety symptoms. They work by enhancing the effect of a neurotransmitter called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which promotes relaxation. Common benzodiazepines include Xanax, Valium, and Ativan.

Beta-Blockers: Beta-blockers are primarily used to manage physical symptoms of anxiety, such as rapid heart rate and trembling. They block the effects of adrenaline, reducing the "fight or flight" response. Propranolol is a well-known beta-blocker used for anxiety.

Buspirone: Buspirone is a non-benzodiazepine medication that affects serotonin receptors. It is often used for generalized anxiety disorder and has a lower risk of dependence compared to benzodiazepines.

Antidepressants: Some antidepressants, such as tricyclic antidepressants and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), may be prescribed for anxiety disorders when SSRIs and SNRIs are not effective or well-tolerated.

Antipsychotics: In some cases, low-dose antipsychotic medications like Abilify or Seroquel may be prescribed to help manage severe anxiety symptoms.

Choosing the Right Medication

Selecting the most appropriate anxiety medication depends on various factors, including the type and severity of the anxiety disorder, individual preferences, and the presence of other medical conditions or medications. A qualified mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, can conduct a thorough evaluation to determine the best treatment plan.

It's important to note that medication alone is not a cure for anxiety disorders. It should be used in conjunction with therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, or mindfulness-based approaches, to address the root causes of anxiety and develop coping skills.

Effectiveness and Timeline

The effectiveness of anxiety medications varies from person to person. Some individuals may experience significant relief within a few weeks, while others may require several months to notice improvements. It's essential to work closely with a healthcare provider to monitor progress and adjust the treatment plan as needed.

Additionally, discontinuing medication abruptly can lead to withdrawal symptoms or a recurrence of anxiety symptoms. Therefore, it's crucial to follow the prescribed dosage and consult with a healthcare professional before making any changes.

Potential Side Effects

Like all medications, anxiety medications can have side effects. The severity and type of side effects depend on the specific medication and individual factors. Common side effects of anxiety medications may include:

Nausea and Upset Stomach: Some people may experience digestive issues when taking anxiety medications, especially in the initial stages of treatment.

Drowsiness: Sedation is a common side effect of benzodiazepines, which can impair one's ability to concentrate or operate heavy machinery.

Weight Changes: Certain medications, particularly SSRIs and SNRIs, may lead to weight gain or loss.

Sexual Dysfunction: Some individuals may experience a decrease in sexual desire or difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection or orgasm.

Dizziness and Lightheadedness: These sensations can occur, especially when starting or adjusting the dose of medication.

Insomnia: Paradoxically, some individuals may experience difficulty sleeping as a side effect of certain anxiety medications.

Dry Mouth: A dry mouth is a common side effect of some medications.

It's crucial to communicate any side effects with your healthcare provider. They can help you weigh the benefits of the medication against the potential drawbacks and explore alternative options if needed.

Safety and Risks

Anxiety medications, particularly benzodiazepines, carry a risk of dependence and withdrawal symptoms. Individuals should use these medications only as prescribed and under the supervision of a healthcare professional. Abruptly stopping benzodiazepines can lead to rebound anxiety, insomnia, and other withdrawal symptoms.

Furthermore, some anxiety medications may interact with other medications or substances, such as alcohol. It's essential to inform your healthcare provider of all medications, supplements, and substances you are using to ensure safe and effective treatment.

Pregnancy and Anxiety Medications

Pregnant individuals or those planning to become pregnant should discuss the use of anxiety medications with their healthcare provider. The decision to continue or discontinue medication during pregnancy should weigh the potential risks to the fetus against the risks of untreated anxiety. In some cases,

[donnieisaprettyboy]

just so you guys know how fucked up US healthcare is

I’ve been off my antidepressants for months because it was about $150 to get a 3 month refill. anti anxiety was the same. $300 for meds I need; I’m a full time student with a part time job. $300 is an entire paycheck for me. This $300 is AFTER insurance.

So what do you do if you can’t afford meds in America? Three options, honestly:

1. You don’t get your meds

2. Don’t use insurance and have the pharmacist use GoodRX

3. See if your meds are available through mark cuban‘s online pharmacy.

For my non-Americans out there, let me explain what GoodRX is

Plenty of medical providers keep GoodRX cards at the reception desk. How does it work? Hell if I know. But if you tell the pharmacist “don’t use my insurance, use my GoodRX card instead,” they do it. and 9 times out of 10 it’s cheaper. and literally all you have to do is show them a piece of cardboard. no signup, no paying to join, nothing. it’s essentially just a reusable coupon you can use instead of insurance.

For me, tho, GoodRX only brought my meds down to being about $200 total. Still unaffordable.

Again, for my non-Americans, you may be wondering what the hell the mark cuban online pharmacy is.

Billionaire Mark Cuban created an online pharmacy that provides some very common medications for a MUCH lower price than literally anywhere else in the US.

It’s a little bit of a pain to get started, but when you do it gets mailed to your door. They take insurance, but currently they don’t take mine.

Want to know how much my meds (which, btw, went from 2 medications to 3, one of which increased dosage) cost on mark cuban’s website?

For a 60 day supply, after tax, and after paying $15 for expedited shipping, it was about $35.

Thirty. Five. Dollars.

Why the FUCK were my meds EVER over $300 when I can get them shipped to me for LESS THAN $40.

(just to break down the costs a bit more, that’s (including cost for shipping) ~$0.15 per pill online (one of my meds is twice daily) vs ~$0.90 per pill from my pharmacy with insurance, and it wasn’t even all my meds. )

[gobbluthbutagirl]

i have only written a cover letter one time and they loved it so much they called me within an hour of me submitting it to schedule an interview and i had to drive like 30 minutes to get there and then i had to call the guy i was meeting twice before he even picked up and within like five minutes he was like, “well you only have one year of bakery experience so we don’t think you’re qualified.” (this was for a bakery doing literally the exact same thing i had been doing for the past year). and i was thinking then literally why the hell did you make me drive all the way out here then you stupid asshole could you not have just told me that over the phone. but i was like, “ok thank you for your time,” and then turned around and walked out and then driving back to my airbnb i got t-boned and my car was totaled and i was alone in a city where i knew literally nobody yet and everyone i did know lived 2300+ miles away and the tow truck man and everybody else pressured me into getting a rental car even though i said i didn’t want to drive and would just take an uber and then like ten minutes after i got the rental car i was in ANOTHER wreck because some guy merged on top of me and i had to call the tow truck man again and my phone was literally on 1% and he drove me all over the city for like two hours even though i just wanted to get an uber and go home and he bought me a full-sugar ginger ale at 7-eleven even though i told him i was on an insane person diet where you literally don’t consume sugar at all and i had to just act like i was gonna save it for later when really i wasn’t gonna drink it ever and he wanted to take me out to dinner too but i said i wasn’t hungry and the whole time i couldn’t tell if he was hitting on me or not and it was so uncomfortable and when i finally convinced him to drop me off at my airbnb i had been gone for 11 hours and hadn’t had anything to eat or drink and i immediately went online and deleted my indeed account and then stood in the kitchen in my underwear eating ricotta cheese straight from the container while sobbing. and then i took a shower and then i took way too many anti-anxiety pills and then i slept for like 18 hours. and that was over two years ago and i’m still mad about it. and THAT’S why i refuse to write a cover letter

[daintydoilypon]

Hey hey hey yo! Strange question but how does a lack of anti-conception pills cause so many.... problems? Like scientifically speaking I am very curious cause I didn't know that was a thing.

Birth control has hormones in it (estrogen and progesterone), and over time, your body may stop producing as much of it since you're supplying it (had mine for almost 3 years). So when you get off of it, it takes between 4-6 months, according to online studies, for your body to go back to producing said hormones naturally. Thus your hormones go all over the place and mine just happened to spike like crazy causing massive anxiety attacks. The hyperactive gag thing I believe stemmed from my wisdom teeth removal and was just exacerbated by the withdrawal. It's recommended to ween off it due to this, but my doc didn't alert me of needing to come in to get a refill so I was forced to do it cold turkey 🙃

[queendopamine]

Opening up about mental health, the healthcare system, and my diagnoses

I'm no stranger to therapy. Though I've never lasted longer than 6 months, I've tried different therapists over the years. I know I need to dig in and do some deep, hands-on work. I've gotten by with some of the tools they've given me, as well as my own efforts at attempting self-help.

In May, I went back to therapy and also saw a psychiatrist for the first time ever. I did a psych eval with her last week.

I received a diagnosis of anxiety, PTSD, and Bipolar. These are also things the therapist had evaluated me for and talked to me about. I scored high on her tests for them. I've always been good at tests...The damn test was how I got my bipolar diagnosis in 2010. Some NP at a walk-in clinic gave me a couple assessments and heard my story about how I reacted on Prozac. Said that depression was only telling half the story and gave me some meds. I had to go off them after a couple months because I got pregnant, but that was as far as I ever went in my Bipolar journey.

Since 2010, I had distanced myself from the Bipolar dx and label. Not only did I not like the stigma, but I just didn't relate to it as much as other things. Borderline seemed to address a lot of similar symptoms. At one point, I even thought I had DID. In 2020, like many chronically-online Millennials in the pandemic, thought I might have ADHD. For much longer, I've considered that I have OCD.

But for now, my doctor is choosing to treat the Bipolar and said she didn't "get ADHD vibes from me" and for now, she wouldn't agree that I have ADHD (I got through school, I finish my work on time, I paid attention to her questions --those were her reasons). She said I might have OCD tendencies based on what I described but she didn't fully label me as OCD or change my treatment at all.

She did say that over time, things could change--as in additional dxes might be given or they might be changed. And of course, we might try different treatments. It's all trial and error.

To start, I'm going on a mood stabilizer (Vraylar) and an anti-anxiety medicine (hydroxizine). I hope I can find the right combination of meds and that the side effects will be minimal and manageable. I havent been on a mood stabilizer in a long time. I don't really remember much about it. I've tried many different anti-depressants and Xanax. The anti-depressants always seemed to make me worse and Xanax just makes me sleepy as fuck.

My doctor gave me an overview of the Vraylar and Hydroxizine. She told me the symptoms and what to look out for. But then reading the pamphlets about them gave me a whole different perspective. Drowsiness was the big one that stuck out to me for both--not only did she not warn me about this, but she even told me hydroxizine wouldn't cause me to be sleepy and I could take up to 400mg a day and I'd be fine. It would help me sleep, but it wouldn't put me to sleep, like Xanax would, in her words.

Like many anti-depressants or mood stabilizers, Vraylar warns of potential weight gain. But it also can cause high blood sugar and high cholesterol. I already have elevated cholesterol so that's unfortunate. I didn't tell my psychiatrist this and now I am wondering if she'll switch meds when I do tell her. I'm not sure why I didn't mention it. All those potential side effects worry me though. I already struggle with my weight and because of my PCOS, I am pretty much already at risk for diabetes--though no tests have come back to indicate that I'm even pre-diabetic, so that's good. The cholesterol is something to worry about though and I will bring that up when I see her again.

Drowsiness is the worst symptom though and I'll tell you why. It's because I switched back to Zyrtec for my allergies and even though I take it at night, it's just a lot. it makes it hard to get up the in the morning. I can handle it okay during the day when I halve the pill, but I still end up dragging around, fatigued. I hope my body adjusts. I don't want to be tired all day. I have horrible allergies and have been receiving allergy shots for them, which contributes to fatigue on shot days. I can't live my life like a zombie all the time.

Just feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and annoyed. I know it's going to take time to adjust to both new medications and even to the Zyrtec. And if Vraylar and Hydroxizine don't work, it will be onto something else. I'm just eager to get it right and feel fulfilled and content. I want to be able to workout if I want to. I want to relax if I want to. I just don't want to be ruled by fear or lack of energy or zero motivation. I want to be in control of my body. Drowsiness is opposite of this.

Onto the PTSD...that shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. I wasn't expecting that. I don't know if the meds will help with my PTSD symptoms. But I know that my stepmom and her sister both receive ketamine treatment periodically. Both of them have bad depression and it helps them tremendously. According to the website, it helps with PTSD and bipolar symptoms as well. So I've considered that as an option, but I want to try meds first.

That brings me to the other issue--cost. I'm lucky that I can pull together the funds when needed and tighten up spending enough to afford these expensive-ass therapy/psych appointments. I also have a boyfriend I live with who makes almost 2x what I do and can pick up the slack or give me money if I really need it. Most people are not in that situation. There are people in my own family who cannot afford certain things. Mental health is a luxury to them.

Something so important and life-changing is a luxury that they can't afford. It's tragically common. Health insurance in the US is a joke. I can't even bill them for these sessions. It's not that they don't cover any mental health/behavioral health (though that's part of it sometimes), it's that the places I have visited do not bill health insurance for some reason. Maybe it's harder to work with them. maybe there's something about the way they bill. I truly do not know. But it's expensive as hell and I know if it were easier, they would bill insurance.

So yeah it's hard enough that I have to scrape together the money and really budget out my spending and think of every dollar. But there are people who have to do this with groceries, with feeding their children! People who have to choose which bills to pay. They can't just scrape together some extra money and spend it on mental health. Those people are fucked. and then their kids, who grow up in poverty or who are surrounded by this constant survival mentality, will grow up traumatized and in need of therapy they can't afford either. The cycle continues.

Does the government care? No. This system isn't built well and it's failing the people who need it the most.

I could talk more about the PTSD and Bipolar. what they mean to me and the symptoms I'm having. But I'm tired (go figure) and this is all I can manage.

[shinystars-stuff]

Hello everyone. It has been 9 months.

I apologize for no longer posting but my mood for Tumblr came to a downhill and so I just stopped posting. I moved on to Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, Pinterest, and Discord.

Well… let’s just say… I’m doing a shit ton better on those platforms.

I came back today and only today to update you guys on how much my life has changed.

So nine months ago… that was before I graduated, which would mean that would be February. Jesus, this is about to be long.

So February 28th of this year, I ended a one-year relationship with a boy only to get with someone else. Now, keep in mind that both of these relationships were online. When I got with the new boy, my behavior and actions started to change. We tended to fight a lot and I made him upset quite a lot just as he made me upset. Well, July 18th, he had enough of my lying and my behavior that he broke up with me. Oh yeah, I skipped something important. I graduated on May 28th! 👩‍🎓👩‍🎓

I was pretty upset over the breakup and I stayed single for a while until drama happened and I got with somebody else. I realized how stupid I was and I called off the relationship. My family situation has worsened. A few months ago, my brother officially came back to live with us after his girlfriend cheated on him. He’s been a total pain in the ass, btw.

Me and my brother hardly get along, but the good news is that we are semi-bonding now these days. My mom’s leg situation has worsened for she can hardly stand up now these days. My uncle… he got a rare disease and might not be making it for much longer, plus I’ve lost a lot of family members as of late. I luckily have my Switch to keep me distracted and well organized.

Well- after I graduated high school, I found out that I have social anxiety. I was placed on an anti-depressant pill and bumped up more on my ADHD medication. My parents have been nagging at me to get a job, but with the shit I see happening in life today, plus the things I hear from my family, why would I even want to work in a society like this?! Also, my whole family thinks they have the right to say that I should get a job when I take the fucking trash out, I get shit like drinks and stuff for them, I bring in all the god damn groceries, I check on them everyday. I do the shit willingly and never get asked to be fucking paid!

Let’s uh- change the topic for now. So- well- I’m still making videos and stuff. However, my original TikTok got banned over a dispute with a best friend and uh- I lost three friends by them ghosting me. My videos have actually really improved. In fact, I have them right here.

Well, I only have this one, but this is my biggest and longest working one. This one took me three hours. I mostly make edits on TikTok but on Discord, I have a little roleplay server :3

My Twitter and YouTube, plus Twitter stays quiet most of the time because usually I’ll just scroll and save videos and stuff on the platforms.

My proudest moment and my best moment of this year is this photo right above this. If you don’t know who that is, that is me and a VO actor known as Bob Carter. Bob Carter is in many animes, but when I looked at the top of his poster, my world changed. As you know, I am a huge Fullmetal Alchemist fan and the character he played was Izumi’s husband, Sig Curtis.

I was legit amazed and he was absolutely friendly. I asked him for a hug and he gladly accepted it because I told him I had watched the anime a million times. I really wanted to show him an FMA edit I made, but I was too excited to show him. I even got to meet the singer for Sailor Moon, only to look later and find out that Bob photobombed it XD

So yeah, even though I’ve gone through a lot of shit this year, I’ve had a pretty good year. Anyways, I think I’m going to go ahead and finish off the post here.

Thank you guys for supporting me on Tumblr. If you wish to add me on Discord or anything, my Tumblr ask-box and messages are still open, so feel free to. I love you guys. Thank you for giving me a home.

[everythingsyouneedtoknow]

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[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you done any of the same things as me? [2022 Edition] by joybucket experienced something amazing and miraculous? 🤩 I mean, although I still have a ways to go there has been some significant progress.

switched to a new primary care doctor? Not technically, but my primary doctor has another doctor working there as well and the last couple times I’ve gone I’ve seen her instead. I don’t know if it’s a permanent switch, though. 

tried a new medication? 💊 Yeah, several. I was put on a few in the hospital for some things and then when I got out my primary prescribed me anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications. 

felt afraid to leave the house? That’s how I kinda feel right now. I just don’t feel comfortable or ready to do so.

had a new neighbor move in? Not the neighbors right next to door to me on either side, but I don’t know about the rest of the neighborhood.

met a new neighbor? No. I don’t know any of my neighbors. 

read the entire Bible? 📖 I didn’t last year, but I have before a couple times. 

had a smoothie that tasted really, really good? 🍹 I didn’t have any smoothies. 

had some significant health issues? Uh, yeah that’s an understatement. Last year was horrific. 

made a lot of surveys? I don’t make surveys. 

taken a lot of surveys? Yeah. 

gave yourself a significant haircut? 💇‍♀️ No, that was two years ago when I chopped it super short. 

discovered a new YouTube channel you really liked? Yeah.

discovered a new favorite book? 📖 I didn’t read nearly as much as I normally do last year, but I read a few books and enjoyed them all. 

re-read a book you really liked? 📖 Except for the Bible, I don’t re-read books for some reason. 

debated reaching out to someone and asking for prayer, but didn't? 🙏 No.

started taking a new birth control pill? Nope. Never have.

experienced anaphylaxis? No.

...and then had to be on Prednisone for three months because of it? --

gained weight from a medication? Well, sort of in a roundabout kinda way. Like, that’s not the intended purpose, but it helped in other ways that helped me gain some weight. 

...and then lost some of it once you were off the medication, but not all of it? My weight has been a big issue the past few years and while I have gain some weight, I’m still underweight. It’s taking awhile. 

discovered you had steroid-induced diabetes? No.

daydreamed a lot? 💭 Yeah.

had overdue library books? 📚 No. I haven’t even been to the library since I was a teenager.

worn a mask? 😷 Yes. I wear one anytime I go somewhere. 

worn a mask when cleaning, because you're allergic to dust mites? 😷 No.

went days without washing your hair? Yes. The most days I went was during my hospital stay.

felt overjoyed one day and then depressed the next? Not overjoyed, but decent. I have chronic depression, but there’s days that aren’t as bad or are bearable. With my medication I kinda just feel numb. I’m not crying all the time or feeling on the verge of tears all the time so there’s that.

thought about how much you missed going to church? ⛪️ Yes. I’ve slacked off the past month and I’m not proud of that. I also would really like to be able to go in person someday.

thought about how much you missed painting? 🖼 I don’t paint. However, I did actually do some arts and crafts that involved painting a few weeks ago with my aunt. 

....and thought about how you'd like to start painting again? 🎨 I mean, little arts and crafts type stuff can be fun like what I painted last time were these cute little wooden boxes. I can do type of stuff, but I’m not a painter or artist.

found out that someone got hit by a car and died while crossing a street that you cross all the time? No. enjoyed watching the snow fall? ❄️ It doesn’t snow here. :(

wished you had a car? 🚘 I don’t drive, so I really have no need for one.

talked to your mom on the phone? 📱 Yeah. 

talked to your mom online? 💬 No.

realized none of your bras fit you anymore? No.

received a package in the mail? 📦 Yeah, stuff I ordered online. 

started watching Youtube Shorts regularly? No, I’m not into the shorts. 

practiced self-hypnosis? 😵 No. 

discovered a new food you really liked? I discovered I liked Cream of Wheat, which isn’t exciting, but it’s good and easy to eat for breakfast. Also, I didn’t discover wings and bean burritos last year, but I’ve been really obsessed and enjoy them more now than I did before. After my 3-month stay in the hospital and not being able to eat or drink anything, plus getting more nutrients and stuff, i’ve enjoyed food more than before. They taste better. Before, eating had mainly become a chore and it was really hard for me. It wasn’t something that I found enjoyable. 

discovered your bike had a flat tire? 🚴 I don’t have a bike. 

made a new playlist of songs you really liked? 🎶 No, but I added a few songs to my main playlist.

got rid of a ton of old clothes? 👚 Yeah. 

ran/walked a Christmas-themed race? 🏃‍♀️ No.

watched your city's Christmas parade? We don’t have one.

enjoyed eating salads? 🥗 I haven’t had a salad in years. 

enjoyed eating chocolate pie? Not a chocolate pie person. I was obsessed with cheesecake for a bit when it was one of the few things I could eat when I was able to slowly start eating again. 

celebrated Thanksgiving alone? No.

celebrated your birthday alone? No, my mom, dad, and brother visited, but I was in the hospital and that sucked. Plus like I’ve said many times, I was unable to eat or drink anything or even do anything. 

didn't really have a good birthday? No, I didn’t. 

almost died multiple times? Uh, not multiple, but twice...

enjoyed reading the Bible? 📖 I didn’t read it much last year.

danced around your living room? 💃 No. 

written in cursive? ✍️ Only when signing my signature.

written in a journal? 📓 Yes. 

written in a one-line-a-day journal? 📔 No. Also, while I did write in an actual journal a bit while I was in the hospital, these surveys are like my journal entries as well. 

accidentally dropped a dish and broke it? No.

went for a walk through the cemetery on Halloween? No.

not brought your camera with you somewhere, and then wished you had? 📸 I use my phone’s camera, so I always have it. 

discovered a new really good book? You asked this already. 

read a book with a character named Simone in it? No.

had a doctor get irritated with you? I kinda feel like one nurse did. 

had a doctor not believe you about something? Not to my knowledge. 

broke out in acne all over your face? No.

found out one of your friends had COVID? 🦠 My parents, brother, and I all did last year. 

wondered if you had COVID? 🦠 Yeah, and I did. 

played Mahjong on your phone? 🀄️ I have no idea what that is. 

used a lot of emojis? 🦄 🤪 💃 I wouldn’t say a lot. Some people get too emoji happy, I tend to use them more sparingly as I see fit.

wore a cheetah-print mask? Nope.

worshiped God? 💃 Yes.

uploaded some new photos to Facebook? Yeah, during our trip for my dad’s birthday. That was the last time I traveled before shit really hit the fan and I wound up in the hospital. 

sorted through some old photos on your computer? No. I don’t even have any photos on here cause It’s my brother’s laptop. Although, I only had like a few on mine cause I save photos on my phone. 

wondered why your fridge was making funny noises? No.

gone for lovely and enchanting walks in the fall? 🍁 No.

wore the same outfit for days? Yes. 

worn slipper socks? Yes. 

gone out to eat with your parents? Yeah, during that birthday trip I mentioned. 

enjoyed looking at your friends' baby pictures on Facebook? Sure.

wondered what one of your friends was going to name her baby? I don’t have any friends. In the previous question I was just referring to my Facebook “friends.” I haven’t thought about what they were going to name their babies. 

wished someone would invite you to church, but no one did? No. I’d go on my own if I were able to.

took more medication than you were supposed to when you were in severe pain? Yes. I definitely had more in the hospital. 

wished autocorrect didn't make so many annoying errors? it can be annoying sometimes. 

wished your cramps would go away? Of course. 

enjoyed having a conversation with a random stranger while waiting in line for something? No. 

wished you could see your cousins more? It would be nice, but when i’m feeling better. I’m also embarrassed for anyone outside of my immediate family and my aunt that I’m close to to see me right now. 

thought about how much you used to love church? I haven’t tuned in to the livestream service the past month and I’ve been thinking about how I want to get back on track. 

had a certain traumatic incident keep coming back to haunt you? Something like that.

debated trying to get to know your neighbors more? No.

not eaten anything sweet on your birthday? Yeah, I wasn’t able to eat anything. :/

....for the first time ever, since you normally eat cake on your birthday? Yes. 

eaten a lot of mango popsicles? No, I don’t like mango. 

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51 men on trial in France for the rape of a drugged woman arranged by her husband

A husband who allegedly drugged his wife and invited more than 80 strangers to rape her at their home for almost a decade went on trial on Monday in a case that has shocked France.

Fifty men accused of taking part in the abuse of the woman are also on trial at the court in Avignon. More than a dozen protesters dressed all in black demonstrated outside the courthouse as the trial opened.

Police say Dominique Pélicot crushed sleeping tablets and anti-anxiety medication and mixed it into his wife Gisèle’s evening meal or in her wine at their home in Mazan, near Carpentras in Provence. The father of three recruited men to rape and sexually abuse her from an online chatroom, where members fantasised about performing sexual acts on non-consenting partners.

The presiding judge, Roger Arata, announced that all hearings would be public, granting Gisèle Pélicot her wish for “complete publicity until the end” of the court case, according to one of her lawyers, Stéphane Babonneau.

The trial would nonetheless be “a horrible ordeal” for her, said another of her lawyers, Antoine Camus.

“For the first time, she will have to live through the rapes that she endured over 10 years,” he told Agence France-Presse, adding that his client had “no recollection” of the abuse that she discovered only in 2020.

Gisèle Pélicot, who arrived at the court supported by her three children, did not want a trial behind closed doors because “that’s what her attackers would have wanted”, Camus said.

The accused men recruited by her husband were instructed to avoid smelling of any kind of fragrance or cigarette smoke to avoid alerting his wife and to leave if she moved so much as an arm, investigators said.

Dominique Pélicot was arrested on 2 November 2020, after a security guard caught him filming up the skirts of women in the local supermarket. Police found a file labelled “abuses” on a USB drive connected to his computer that contained 20,000 images and films of his wife being raped almost 100 times.

Since his arrest he “always declared himself guilty”, his lawyer has said, adding that he had said: “I put her to sleep, I offered her, and I filmed.”

Health records reportedly show he obtained 450 sleeping pills in one year alone.

The 50 men on trial with him include a local councillor, nurses, a journalist, a former police officer, a prison guard, soldier, firefighter and civil servant, many of whom lived around Mazan, a town of about 6,000 inhabitants. The men were aged between 26 and 73 at the time of their arrests.

Several of the accused have denied the charges, telling police they had no idea Gisèle Pélicot, who married Dominique Pélicot in 1973, was not a willing partner and accused him of tricking them. Detectives were unable to identify and trace more than 30 other men who were recorded.

Investigators said she was devastated to learn of the abuse, saying she had no recollection whatsoever of being raped. She had been drugged “almost to a state of coma”, investigators added.

“One morning she woke in a panic with a new haircut without understanding how this was possible. She went to her hairdresser, who told her she had been in the previous day,” Babonneau said.

He said his client, now divorced, had believed she had an illness nobody could explain and consulted several doctors, always accompanied by her husband, who blamed her symptoms on tiredness after looking after their grandchildren. Her three children and other relatives suspected she had Alzheimer’s disease.

The public prosecutor and lawyers for the defendants had asked for the trial to take place behind closed doors for reasons of “decency” and to protect all parties.

“The trial involves acts of extreme violence repeated over a period of ten years of so. Photographs will be circulated, videos will necessarily be viewed and it appears that publicity would be dangerous for public decency and would undermine the dignity of the individuals, both victims and defendants,” the prosecutor argued.

But Gisèle Pélicot’s lawyers objected. “She wants people to know what happened to her and believes that she has no reason to hide. No one can imagine that my client will find any satisfaction in exposing what she has suffered. She wants this hearing to be open so that justice can be done in public,” Babonneau said.

“Whether one likes it or not, this trial goes beyond the limits of this courtroom. And going behind closed doors also means asking my client to be locked in a place with those who attacked her.”

After deliberating, the five professional judges hearing the case ruled it should be held in public.

Dominique Pélicot is also accused of the rape and murder of a 23-year-old estate agent in Paris in 1991. Sophie Narme was drugged, raped and stabbed in the chest.

Another estate agent, 19, was attacked in similar circumstances but escaped after fighting back. Police have said DNA extracted from blood at the scene matched his profile.

The trial in Avignon is expected to last four months. Dominique Pélicot, 71, and the 50 other defendants face 20 years in prison if convicted of aggravated rape.

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