#Another Sleepless Night with Phil

[reunitedinterlude]

lofi phantasy: the album

track 4: pixels in the wind

[feelingofcontent]

i wanna hear your conspiracy guesses! sooo hyped to see what the next shows get

below for extra spoiler safety!!

The Options

Tier 1: Pumpkin or Toilet

first show chose 'Toilet' - they have a couple's toilet (false "obviously" they said)

my guess for 'Pumpkin' is the 'Phil is the dancing pumpkin man gif' - another obviously false option

Tier 2: Fake or Clothes

first show chose 'Fake' - phil faked the last sleepless night video (true)

my guess for 'Clothes' is clothes sharing

Tier 3: Pole or Tour bus

first show chose 'Tour bus' - they shared the big bed on the tatinof tour bus (true 😭)

my guess for 'Pole' is something to do with the railing rail on the bed? (god help us if so 😳)

Tier 4: Wedding or Vegas

first show chose 'Wedding' - they got married in Japan (false, with an implication that they're not married at all from what I could hear??) they said something like 'dan can't commit to anything' and 'we're not traditional in any way')

my guess for 'Vegas' is the missing vegas video vlog! I think it' sgoing to be hard to get an audience that picks this one...it's the cake scene all over again 😭😭

counting on you copenhagen! 🙏

[axolotlclown]

ok can phil fake another sleepless nights with phil. i liked those

[lmanburgseulogy]

C!WILBUR INSANE POSTING. guess what. It’s actually about revival arc 😎 wahhoo

Sorry if it’s unorganized i’m too lazy to read it back 💯 plus probably none of you have the attention span to read this /j

LONG LONG POST UNDER CUT!

Brown mop of curls that are frizzy and uncared for, white streaks contrasting the rest. They stick out no matter how much he tries to hide them. When he gets so stressed he tugs at his hair, he notices that its gotten longer since when he actually tried to keep up with it. It wraps around the curves of his ears and turns upwards at the scruff of his neck.

There’s a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows, a reminding mark of a general with a heavy expression going into battle.

His eyes look unfocused over cracked glasses, it always seems like he’s not fully in the moment. Maybe he isn’t, not anymore. His gaze only settles on the ways everyone has changed, when he’s the same person who stood at that button. His absent stare contradicts the heavy smile lines gained years ago. He can’t remember the last time his smile reached that high. Feels awfully forced these days, even when he is happiest. He knows he doesn’t deserve it.

Wilbur struggles with bright lights after being in the dark so long in limbo. His head is always throbbing, and by noon it feels like a very tiny man is pushing his eyes right out from behind. Sometimes he gets too overstimulated and can’t think or stand straight. Tommy worried about him, but he can handle himself.

He has permanent eye bags from decades of sleepless nights. When he puts himself on the stage to be perceived by other’s judgmental stares he lathers thick foundation over the darkest parts. he knows they would notice if he covered all of it. They notice every little detail.

Wilbur’s nose is crooked and hooked at the end. A bump holds his glasses in place where freckles spot his skin. He loves the sunrise, he likes the marks it leaves for him. Maybe the light is finally reclaiming him.

His chin is covered in scratchy stubble. It’s thick and itchy, but his hands are to shaky to shave anymore. He learned that the hard way. He could get someone to do it for him, but who would? People always attack him in the small, minor inconveniences. They seem to hit wilbur harder than anyone else.

His Adam’s apple is very prominent. He gets it from his father.

Two white scars cross down his chest, making an “X.” They are surrounded by dark, unruly burns. When he gets the motivation to change his clothes, he thinks about a fallen country’s flag, which looks very similar to his own body. A part of him hates it, a part of him knows there was a time he would live the flag with pride. He almost hates that more. Sometimes he feels like all he is is the day he got those scars, since that’s all they see him for. He tries not to think about it. Never turns out well when he falls in the pit that is his mind.

*weight mentioned ahead, implied starving as a form of self harm

Wilbur often squishes the fat on his arms and stomach. He doesn’t remember a time where his belly or thighs were this soft, only his ribs casting jagged shadows down his front or his skin wrapped tightly over his bones. It didn’t take long for him to get tired of the potatoes in Pogtopia. Or, that’s what he told everyone when they gave him that look. Pity, he knew it to be. He didn’t need to be pitied, not when this is what they want him to be. A man falling apart, another dog in the ring.

Wilbur thought it was odd, his new shape and stretch marks. He didn’t really hate it though. He is almost comfortable in himself, even when most of his meals were barely choked down. Phil likes to reassure him the healing continues, and he knows his dad isn’t a liar of course, but Wilbur tends to spill his uncontrollable emotion into every good thing. It’s whatever.

Wilbur has lumbar scoliosis, so right before his hips his spine curves into a “C.”

He remembers his mother talking to Phil after his exam for it. Her voice was wound up tight, ranting to phil about how he might be paralyzed when he got older. He can’t remember his mother much, yet that memory is clear as day. He would love to tell her he’s moving about just fine, except for the constant pain. Tommy says it’s normal though. (yes lets ask tommy for medical advice. sure king)

Scars litter his body, all around. Some big, some small. Some major injuries like The Final Control Room, and some are minor losses not even worth noticing during battle. A lot he doesn’t remember. Which might be for the better.

His fingernails are short and chipped. He expects it to be from clawing at the walls in limbo, the scraping sound makes him shiver to think of.

When Wilbur hits his head on doorframes he remembers family photos of him sticking out like a sore thumb in the line. He had his growth spurt early, and got a little too tall for his liking. Techno joked he was 1/4 torso 3/4 leg. Easy to intimidate people though!

Wilbur’s bones ache a lot. They’re old things, he thinks when he hears the pop of his knees. Sometimes the aching gets so bad he can only sit, which is embarrasing when he has to plop down on the prime path while Tommy gives him the worry look again. One time Eret found him catching his breath by the museum, boy he hated that. He remembered the last time they saw each other, when he apologized. Kind of awkward. He wished he could run away, like during L’manburg. A slight smile on his face when the breeze swept his hair back, legs moving in rhythm against the ground. He’s pathetic now, not even able to walk away if he tried. Potions never numb it as much as he hopes.

[insomniwillow]

Hello! Pairing: pissa Prompt: domestic fluff and lots of hugs/kisses because they miss each other so much

Thanks for the prompt! sorry it took so long, work has been kicking my ass. This is also about three times longer than i'd intended, but uh. it's fine, don't worry about it!

Read on Ao3 here!

---------------------------------

Phil and Missa kept missing each other, and it was honestly starting to drive Phil a little crazy.

He understood the importance of Missa's job, of course- it was the same one he'd done before he'd been gifted the life he had now, hard-core and thinly-tethered to the mortal plane. Escorting the souls of the dead and scattered was important, and most notably extremely hectic, so Phil couldn't and wouldn't begrudge Missa for being pulled away from this mortal plane as often as he was. But if Phil had to wake up to another lovingly painted picture of their family, or one of his kids telling him that he just missed apa Missa, dad, he was right here!

Well. He wasn't a hundred percent sure what exactly he would do, but it was getting to the point where he needed to do something.

Being a father to two rambunctious kids, no matter how well behaved they were, was exhausting for anyone, and he often found himself falling asleep in his chair during the middle of a bedtime story or song for the kids, the two of them tucked safely right alongside Missa's still-sleeping body. He was stressed from... basically everything on the island, and then the nightmares that followed purgatory, and the bunnies or whatever the fuck new government system was standing in for the Federation now- it was safe to say there were a lot of things pulling at whatever energy he had left, leaving sleep quick to come and just as easy to lose most nights.

It was a coincidence that none of his sleepless nights had coincided with Missa's waking up, but that didn't make it any fucking easier to deal with.

He hated tea and coffee, but he found himself making a mug of the stuff anyway, of both kinds, just in case. He busied himself with light repair work around the house as soon as his kids were settled, trying to keep himself awake by being up and on his feet. Lullah's little birdhouse needed a new roof, the clock was a minute too slow, the stove needed the soot build-up scrubbed away. The night outside grew darker as the hours slowly eeked away, and he was left with little more than a slightly more put together house and burning eyes, ready to resign himself to another near miss.

He folded his arms over his chest as he glanced towards the bed, the little lumps of his kids and the alluring thickness of the quilts strewn across the mattress. The still-sleeping body of his husband, sans mask, the barest glow of moonlight lighting up his features.

His grip on his arms tightened as his chest did, a squeezing burst of longing that sat thick in his throat, before he made himself turn away.

Going through the motions of getting ready for bed were familiar- getting changed out of his clothes, brushing his teeth, tying his hair off into a braid, making sure the furnace and the torches were put out. Their house had turned into a cacophony of bird calls and wind chimes, but night time was about as quiet as it would probably ever get. He sat himself down on the bed with a soft sigh, though a smile lifted his lips as he leaned over Missa's still form to tuck the kids' blankets closer around them, their cute little growling snorts making him giggle quietly to himself.

"Philza... ?" A voice came from right below him, making him jump a bit in surprise, looking down to see Missa's wide eyes looking back up at him. Phil's heart squeezed in his chest again, this time for an entirely new reason.

"Missa!" He whispered, just barely catching himself as he glanced over to the kids, still sound asleep, reaching to press a hand to Missa's shoulder. He could feel his elation rising above his exhaustion, and he smiled again, shoulders slumping a bit. "Heya mate."

"Que paso, Philza?" Missa murmured, his voice hoarse and worried as he sat himself up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He caught sight of Chayanne first, their son's little head pressed against his hip. "It's late, no? Did something happen?"

"No, no." Phil reassured him with a quick wave, reaching to take Missa's hand in his, and Missa flushed a bit, eyes wide again. "I just- wanted to see you. That's all."

"Oh." Missa said, voice a little high and Phil couldn't help but laugh at him- even after the prison and everything else, and Missa was still so easily flustered by a simple touch and sentiment. It was honestly cute, and it struck Phil then and there that he'd even missed something as small as that. "I missed you too!"

"It's been like, what, a month or two since the prison thing?" Phil said, giving Missa's hand a little squeeze. "I got all your paintings, but we just kept missing each other."

"Yep, yep." Missa agreed, though a little ruefully as he rubbed anxiously at the back of his neck, glancing away as he gently returned Phil's squeeze. "But um, I'm a little thirsty, so- sorry, I just-"

"Oh fuck me mate, you don't have to apologized for that." Phil scoffed, standing as he let Missa's hand drop to the bed again, turning back to the kitchen to grab a water bottle and handing it to him. He pulled some toast out of his inventory as well, noting how gaunt Missa looked, swamped with blankets and hair all messy as it hung around his face. "I'm glad I caught you though, I was just about to go to bed..."

"oh, of course! Debes estar tan cansado- ah, I'll let you sleep." Missa was quick to stutter out, reaching to throw his blankets off, but Phil caught his hand again with a snort.

"Oh, no you don't, mate." he playfully scolded, and Missa froze. "You think I haven't heard of the shit you've been doing trying to keep a distance from us? You're staying right here."

"But- Philza-" Missa fussed nervously, and Phil couldn't help his endearment at that too, even if it was tempered by exasperation. But at the same time, if Missa needed a little more reassurance, then Phil was more than happy to provide.

He dropped Missa's hand to cup his face again, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he pressed a kiss to Missa's lips, who froze again. His lips were soft against Phil's chapped ones, his face and hair soft against Phil's palm as he brushed a thumb along Missa's jawline before he leaned in a little closer, and Missa shyly pressed back, his hands reaching up to fist in the loose fabric of Phil's sleep pants as if to anchor himself in place.

Missa was flushed again when they finally parted, and Phil couldn't help but giggle at him, and then louder when Missa's hand came up to Phil's face to press a loud kiss to his cheek, with a 'mwah' to emphasis it. And then again to his jaw, then his neck, the sensation of it ticklish enough to make Phil laugh even harder, though he pressed a hand over his mouth to suppress the noise.

"Jesus, mate, you miss me that fucking much, huh?" Phil murmured in the space between them, using his hand on Missa's cheek to guide him up enough to press another kiss to his mouth, lingering a little as Missa melted into the touch. It was a little gratifying, right alongside Missa's clear eagerness, and usually Phil would be embarrassed by being showered in so much affection, but Missa had a way of making it funny, and thus more bearable. Easier to handle, physically and mentally.

It certainly helped that Missa was a good kisser when he was actually trying and, well, it'd been a while for Phil. He'd forgotten just how thrilling something as simple as a kiss could be.

"...Yeah?" Missa murmured, his voice pitched up and shy and Phil brought up a hand to cradle the back of Missa's head, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his temple, hopelessly endeared. "But... necesitas dormir, amor, you need to sleep-"

"M'ere," Phil muttered, rocking them both to the side to lay down on their bed, facing each other even as Missa gave a little yelp from the sudden motion. "There, better now mate?"

"Mmm..." Missa hummed in mock contemplation, brushing his messy hair out of his face to meet Philza's eyes, his own that familiar pretty brown. "I think your eyes need to be closed if you're supposed to be sleeping, Philza."

Even that sounded so nice, as his eyes burned with the effort of keeping them open for so long. He thought he could just barely make out the lightening on the horizon indicating early morning, but it was still dark enough that he, theoretically at least, wouldn't have any issue sleeping. Whether or not he stayed asleep was a different story entirely. Not to mention the irrational fear sitting in his chest as he stared at Missa, awake and beautiful and full of life as thin as Phil's own.

It was hard, and already his chest ached at the thought of waking up to a sleeping husband again, but at least he had this now, a quiet moment between the two of them.

He tightened his hold around Missa's body, pressing close and tucking his head to rest against Missa's collar bones, some stupid part of his brain soothed by the perceived safety of Missa's hold on him in return. Missa worked a hand through Phil's hair, scratching slowly across his scalp and Phil couldn't help but relax even further, eyelids fluttering a bit at the pleasant sensation. He could feel himself slowly falling asleep, could distantly feel the sensation of lips pressed against the top of his head, the words, "buenas noches, amor." ringing in his ear.

He couldn't remember a time he'd fallen asleep so fast, or slept so soundly, safe in his husband's arms.

[succulentsstars]

Okay so here are my bets on theories addressed:

- Even though they’ve already addressed it the high Google feud theory. Same answer as before, maybe with some reference to another time on weed.

- Pantless live show. They’ve never really denied it and we all knew anyway cause they were so obvious about it lol.

- When we were young fest. Probably another lol haha. But they don’t actually address it and just will be like “ofc yeah it’s totally true lol” /j

- Maybe they’ll recycle the two different flats one too even though we’ve also heard that several times. There won’t be anything groundbreaking.

- The phangate secret wife and child from like 2017. That’s a fun callback they’ve always seemed to find funny.

- Phil pumpkin man. Another case of “yeah it’s totally true” /j

- Something along the lines of not living together or hating each other

- maybeee Dan being colorblind? Only if it’s fake though lol

- I saw another in the comments about sleepless nights with Phil being fake and that was TEA back in the day. Probs not but I’d like it and I don’t think it’s too revealing, just he filmed during the day.

- lol I hope they look at the old Trixie Mattel photo

Every time they deviate from this list with something that isn’t a joke like “lol we hate our audience” I’ll take a shot

[polyamphilza]

Baby steps

I wrote a short soft fitpac thing as a gift for @routeriver because they're very cool and I don't know how else to befriend people other than writing for them - please enjoy <3 -🍄#2

AO3 link if that's easier to read, the formatting got messed up on both I'm sorry

Fit often wondered why he'd been allowed to keep most of his memories. 

Sure the others had some of theirs from the far past. Phil remembered Techno and their adventures together, he seemed to remember Wilbur though a lot more recent history was fuzzy. Cellbit could remember his time in prison. 

None of them seemed to remember as much as Fit did though. He felt the only time he’d lost was how he ended up on the train to Quesadilla island in the first place. 

Maybe they weren't all there, and he couldn't tell what was missing, but when he sat in bed at night staring at the ceiling, memories replayed in his mind. 

2B2T, first logging in and seeing the chaos of spawn. The first time he'd made friends, been given gear, only to be double crossed. The sleepless nights, wondering if he'd die, flinching as the sun rose only to realize he'd made it through another night. 

His first kiss, rough and messy, nothing he'd ever wanted from a first kiss but it got the job done as skin grew heated beneath grabbing hands. 

He'd tried to ask Cucurucho once, why he remembered. The bear had just stared with that same ever present creepy smile. 

Fit often wondered who he would be if he had forgotten his past. If he'd arrived on the island as a new person, a fresh start, unworried about possible old grudges coming for him and forgetting the calluses on his hands were made from fighting. 

Would he still hesitate? 

"Fit?" 

He startled, though you wouldn't know it from the outside. He stayed still as he looked over at the voice that had said his name, trying to figure out when he'd left his room and gone outside for fresh air. 

"Hey Pac, what's up?" He asked with a tired smile. 

Pac came to sit beside him with a small grunt of effort. He wasn't wearing his leg, instead using a crutch to keep his balance. He must have been in bed, or about to be when he'd come outside instead. 

Fit couldn’t ignore what a huge sign of trust that was. He didn't know if he could lose his prosthetic with anyone, it made him too vulnerable. 

Maybe for Pac he could. 

"Nothing, nothing. I was uh, coming to check on you and you were not there." Pac explained. The darkness hid his blush for the most part. 

"Aw, I'm sorry. Did you need me?" Fit asked, worried he'd let his roommate down. 

"No! No, I did not need you." Pac cleared his throat. "I just had not got to see you today. I wanted to, before I slept." He admitted shyly. 

Fit's mind took a moment to process that, and translate the meaning behind the words. "Oh, you missed me." He realized and smiled. 

Pac pulled his hoodie up to hide the lower half of his face a bit, clearly flustered at being called out. 

He nodded, keeping his gaze elsewhere. 

"I just get used to seeing you, you know?" He tried to explain. "You are a uh, a here always." 

"A constant?" 

"Yes, yes a constant." Pac smiled and nodded. "So I wanted to see my roomie before sleep." He bumped their shoulders together and chuckled. 

Fit looked over at him and felt warmth flow through his veins stronger than a good shot of whiskey. 

Pac's hair was dark, a beautiful contrast to the bright moon haloing behind his head. His smile was small, but still showed the dimple on his cheeks. He knew that if Pac pulled his lips back a bit more he'd get to see his sharpened teeth and the adorable gap between the two front ones. 

They sat there for awhile in silence, enjoying the presence of the other. Fit's mind continued to spin. 

"Pac," He started, stopped, licked his lips. He dragged his palms over his thighs, suddenly feeling sweaty. His throat was dry. He opened his mouth to continue only to pause again. No words would come out. 

"Fit?" Pac said after a moment, promoting him to continue. 

What if he had forgotten? Would he still hesitate? 

"... I like being your constant. You're mine too. I don't want that to change." Fit blurted out quickly, then bit his tongue and looked away. He covered his mouth with his hand as he found an interesting bit of grass to stare at and inspect nearby. 

He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

It was as truthful as he could be at the moment, and already he was wondering if he’d gone too far, if it was too much too soon. 

"I like it too." Pac mumbled, and it was the specific tone of voice he had when he was blushing and embarrassed. "I like it a lot." 

Silence stretched between them, and Fit thought that was okay. It was a comfortable kind of silence, with the wind blowing past softly. 

Maybe in another timeline, maybe another universe, he wouldn't hesitate. Maybe he would pick Pac up and kiss him soundly and admit just how much he cared about him. Maybe they would share a bed every night, and Fit would feel comfortable taking his prosthetic off in front of him. Maybe they would hold hands, and cook together. 

Maybe he could be happy. 

He wanted to believe he could have that here too. 

"Do you want help back to bed?" Fit offered. 

Pac blushed and giggled. "Yeah, yeah if you don't mind. Put those janitor muscles to the test." He joked. 

Fit laughed softly as he stood and picked Pac up. He thought about how nicely that color red suited his cheeks. 

"Alright, no funny business or I'm tossing you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes." He warned playfully. 

Pac giggled and rested his head on Fit's shoulder, his hand laying flat against his strong chest. "Okay, no funny business. Professional business only." He joked. 

Fit brought him to bed with a smile on his face. He watched as Pac's eyelids grew heavy and he started nodding off. 

In the dim light of the room, with only God as his witness, he pressed the barest hint of a kiss to Pac's forehead and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder. 

Baby steps.

[danrifics]

I had a dream that Phil made another sleepless night with Phil and you could see dan next to him asleep

what does this mean

perhaps a prediction of the future, perhaps just a classic phannie dream. only time will tell

[phanyaoi]

cant sleep (again) and its 3am so ig its time for yet another sleepless night with phil

[manchesterau]

random dnp prediction: we get another sleepless night with phil but he keeps the camera trained on his face the whole time and he’s obviously not in his room and we can literally hear someone softly snoring in the background and it’s never addressed

[aprettyspy]

@fluffbruary Day 2 for the prompt 'trace'. Benoit Blanc comes home to his husband Phillip after his weekend at the Thrombeys

Voracious Mind

Phillip stared at the envelope of cash occupying the exact center point of his kitchen island. Two days ago he had dug out a tape measure from the depths of the hallway cupboard, finding it buried between a pair of en point shoes and a broken tennis racket. The wad of cash was exactly 2 ¾ " high and had been delivered three days previously. It remained sat in its unmarked, plain brown envelope. Benoit had opened it, read the accompanying note and thrown it all down where it still rested. 

Not given to superstition as a general rule, something about this mysterious wad of cash made Phillip nervous. It was too much of a coincidence that it's delivery had occurred just 45 minutes after their ancient and dilapidated water heating system had finally given up with an impressive explosion that had brought with it a portion of their kitchen ceiling. As much as they both loved this apartment, it was bloody expensive to maintain. 

Given that his husband had dashed out the door only a few hours later, and had sent exactly one text message since (It seems this case revolves around the name Hugh, my darling, but what a terrible name!), Phillip's hackles were well and truly risen. 

His best attempts to distract himself with work, walks and a very long call to his daughter back in England had not worked. He was on guard, expecting something. He just couldn't pinpoint what. 

He decided to assuage his building anxiety through the tried and tested medium of vigorous cleaning. He was head down, scrubbing the bath (when he did get home, Benoit would want to use it) and, yet again, resolved to replace these dark tiles when he heard the door slam.

"Darlin? Phil, darlin, you home?"

Phillip whipped off his cleaning pinny and tried to smooth his hair as he dashed down the hall in relief to have Benoit home safely.

"There you are my beautiful boy! My God but I've had some weekend!"

Phillip helped Benoit ease off his heavy wool coat and headed for the kettle. 

Already down to his braces (twenty years in America and Phillip would never call them 'suspenders') and shirt sleeves, Benoit paced, pulling the braces down off his shoulders 

"They were just the most terrible people, that Thrombey family, just awful. They were so rude to Marta - oh, did I tell you about Marta? Just the loveliest creature, you would adore her, we must invite her up, oh thank you-" Benoit took the tea Phillip handed him, "and just awful to one another." He shuddered at the memory.

Phillip took up his customary spot on the middle of the sofa. It was always like this after a case. Benoit's head processed and stored everything he had learned and he liked to do his expounding while on the move. His monologue continued uninterrupted, except by sips of tea. When that was finished, Benoit began to undo his shirt buttons. Phillip watched, knowing it was nearly his moment to step in. He had learned long ago that this exposition could wind his husband up even more, leading to a night of sleepless tossing and turning in the bed, followed by pacing and eventually a cigar on the terrace. 

"Benoit." Phillip called softy. It went unheeded and the pacing continued, shirt now thrown to the sofa.

"- not one word of their Mother, not a single photograph in all that clutter-"

"Blanc!" Louder and more commanding. Benoit stopped and looked at his husband, eyebrows raised.

"Sit." Phillip ordered, indicating the floor between his legs where he sat on the sofa.

Benoit sat, relaxed back against the sofa and breathed deeply. "I'm sorry, darlin', they did infuriate me so." 

"I know, but shush now." Phillip began to knead at his husband's tense shoulders. His strong musculature resisted the massage at first but Phillip persisted. He pushed Benoit to sit forward slightly and began working systematically down the muscles on either side of his husband's spine. As he worked, he listened to the evening out of breath, sensed the quieting of that extraordinary, voracious mind. Phillip used his index finger to trace back up Benoit's spine from lower back to the base of his skull and returned to work on the shoulders. Benoit's huge sigh let out all the stresses of the case. Phillip's own, private Benoit was back home with him again. 

Phillip rested his forehead on his husband's now pliable broad shoulder.

"We need to go and buy a new water heater, love."

[best-phan-video-poll]

Round 3, wave 6

[ahappyphjl]

dnp messed up my sleep schedule so bad... i used to go to bed at around 9 pm to have enough energy the next day. but then i decided to stay up late for dan's bday stream and that was the crucial point. i was just AHHHHHHHH-ing all night and when the secret project was announced i completely lost my ability to fall asleep at an appropriate time. i NEED to be awake when they post. even though it's gonna be like the middle of the night in my time zone. luckily i don't work rn (because of health issues but still) so it's ok for me to spend yet another sleepless night. dan and phil, you're gonna pay for my therapy appointment next time

omg sameee i get it, i was thinking of trying to make my sleep schedule better so i wouldn’t feel like death everyday at work, but nah dnp are Much more important lol. like missing a dnp post/upload is a nightmare!! and what am i gonna regret in a few years, being tired at work or not being there when something important happens in the dnp universe, having a good time with phannie friends? easy decision 🫶🏻

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Domestic (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil in Quarantine! (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Phil posts a Day in the Life video of a typical day in quarantine.

A Sleepless Night With Phil (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A jet-lagged Sleepless Night With Phil

adapt (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: this is the story of how dan grew to love neon lights

After All These Years (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: They met her after tour. Martyn’s friend’s dog had puppies and Phil fell in love at first sight. Dan did too, but he’ll deny it if you ask.

Dan tries to keep his distance, because she’s Phil’s dog not his, but she isn’t having any of it.

baby blue and bubblegum pink (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan paints his nails. Phil wants to try it.

Basically I'm Gay (ao3) - ChainedKura

Summary: Dan is editing his coming out video when a deep sadness takes over his body. Lucky for him, he counts with a Phil Lester on his side that will do everything in his power to make his partner feel better.

blankets, coffees and afternoon naps (ao3) - zsunsetz

Summary: Blankets, coffee and afternoon naps have become the new normal.

celestial (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: phil wants to help dan love himself a bit more during quarantine

Chocolate swirls (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan tries to surprise Phil for his 33rd. He fails, as humans do, but ten years later he has luckily got two adorable little helpers at his side. And maybe that makes everything just a little better.

Dan and Phil and DOG (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: It’s Phil’s birthday, and Dan gets him a gift that’s long overdue

distracted (ao3) - sunflowerwitches

Summary: phil telling dan a story but dan isn't paying attention at all because he’s too busy thinking about what a cutie phil is.

Or

a fic that I planned to write for BIG anniversary and didn’t finish it until a few days ago

every kiss is a cursive line (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Iydlmp Dan and Phil through the months of trials and tribulations it takes to plan a wedding… and the wedding itself. (Sort of)

Feet in jelly and eyes looking past the camera (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil asks Dan to help film him when he is trying out this spa kit with a jelly bath. What could go wrong?

Forever Home (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil’s wanted a dog for as long as he can remember, and now that he and Dan are moving into their new house, it’s the perfect opportunity. But there’s just one problem: Phil’s allergic to dogs.

Hang In There, Baby (ao3) - elated_witch

Summary: Dan and Phil document their journey to parenthood through videos

Here’s some faves from my camera roll this year (ao3) - natigail

Summary: 1 birthday tweet. 4 photos. 4 domestic memories. 1 smiling Phil. 1 fond Dan.

I can't help falling in love with you (again) (ao3) - Findus26

Summary: "Do you ever miss that feeling of being newly in love? Like, those first date jitters? Butterflies, if you will?"

It's 2020, the world is falling apart and Dan can't help thinking back to October 2009 when everything was new and exciting. Phil finds a way to recreate the feeling

i come undone when you're gone (ao3) - heartbreakordeath

Summary: who knows what the future holds (i don't know)

don't matter if i got you, got you (i got you)

~bastille, 'future holds'

or: the US tour is over. it's time for dan to come home.

I'd marry you (with paper rings) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Maybe learning calligraphy was of greater importance to Phil, and them, than Dan first thought

It’s in the air and it’s all around, can you feel me now? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: After filming Cards Against Humanity PHAN EDITION, Dan gets an idea into his head involving his DDR mat. He is so focused on that that he nearly misses how Phil starts planning another thing related to the video.

If anyone asks, lap dancing is the perfect way to celebrate a high score on DDR.

Kisses Through The Years (ao3) - undertalednp

Summary: Phil wanted this forever.

And so, forever is what he got.

Night In (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: Phil feels bad after a five second fight with his boyfriend. He is extra soft to make up for it.

quarantine date night (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Dan and Phil have a date-night in during the corona virus lockdown.

Rain (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan), schnaf

Summary: When their dinner date gets ruined, the boys need to find a way to make it work.

rip the plaster (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: dan isn't sure if things are moving too fast or too slow. nothing is going according to plan. he doesn't know what he's doing. but maybe it's time to just rip the plaster.

Since We've No Place to Go (ao3) - tellsfromhale

Summary: Christmas 2020 is unlike any that's come before and (hopefully) any that will come after. Dan and Phil have to learn how to adjust to the year as it comes.

something visual, not too abysmal (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Dan and Phil get ready for the late night, double feature picture show.

Stacks of pancakes as tall as my love for you (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil loves pancakes and he loves Pancake Day but he isn't really in his usual mood for it when the day comes around in 2021. It's a pleasant and befuddling surprise when he finds Dan has taken on a surprise pancake project all on his own.

take a break (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: It's late and Dan has been working on his book all day; Phil gets him to relax and rest

Take a Break (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is too tired to function because of tour, so Dan takes care of him (despite also being quite tired).

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

tiny hands and lots of love (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil puts baby Evelyn to bed, so him and Dan can get some alone time. But just like her Da, she has to grab things no matter what - even if it means prying something as important as Phil's glasses from his face.

Lucky she's cute, and that her dads are both too distracted (and in love, with each other and her antics) to properly reprimand her.

waking up in your arms with my mind on you and me (ao3) - natigail

Summary: On October 19th 2021, Phil wakes up first. Twelve years ago he woke up way too early, nervous for their first meeting and now they are waking up in their shared bed in their forever home. Phil allows himself to be a little sappy but it's okay because Dan easily joins him.

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 3

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 3: Chandelier

March 2006

Mother’s Day found Phil back home, giggling as he got ready to record his first Video Vlog. This was just another outlet for his creativity, like any of his other film projects. It didn’t need to be anything special, after all, it was not like millions of people would see it. Just a silly little video, that’s all.

He looked around his room, hoping to find inspiration for his YouTube username and saw Richard’s Christmas gift. He opened the scrapbook and smiled just like the first time he saw all the photos, and when he made it to the end, he knew he’d found it. He needed something with an A to show up first in people’s inbox and Richard had called him amazing. Come to think of it, Dan had once called him Amazing as well, Amazing Phil. And so AmazingPhil was created. He had his fun filming and editing, and when the time came, he hit the upload button before he could overthink it. 

After playing a few rounds of Mario Kart with Dan, Phil asked him what he thought about the vlog. Of course, Dan said it was funny and brilliant but he was Phil’s friend, what else was he supposed to say? After some more prying, Dan swore on his life that he loved the video and encouraged him to post more, which Phil appreciated. In turn, Phil encouraged Dan to start his own YouTube channel, especially when he saw that he had gotten his first subscriber already! And 5 comments as well, even one all the way from Australia. It was honestly so fun and a great way to meet new people too.

Dan was hesitant at first, but he promised to think about it. Phil knew that deep down, Dan was still a theatre kid and YouTube could be a great outlet for him. Maybe one day they could post something together. 

A video reply notification came up and his train of thought vanished now that a newer and shinier dopamine rush caught his eye.

---

June 2008

So many finals had nearly put Phil 6 feet under, it was all a blur of sleepless nights, studying, revising and going out drinking. 

His friendship with Callan deteriorated greatly when he got a rude and noisy girlfriend who would stay over more often than not, disturbing their studying schedule and Phil’s filming time. After one too many arguments, Sarah had seen the situation for what it was and followed Phil when he moved into a new flat with nine other people. It was not an ideal situation but it came as a blessing and helped deepen the bond between him and Sarah, especially after cutting contact with Peter when he took Callan’s side and barely speaking with Jimmy who had decided to stay despite being at odds with both Callan and Peter.

Moving during the last month of the term had been stressful to the point where Phil could barely go a day without crying, but he buried his head in his books with Sarah sitting right at his side and gave it his all. 

He felt ready to give up on uni and only kept at it because it was his last term at York. Just a little more and he would be free, right?

Wrong.

Graduation didn’t come as a relief to Phil as he had expected. Every stressful situation, dramatic argument with his roommates, disastrous hookup and his ever undefined situation with Mark piled a mountain of anxiety sitting heavy on his chest. 

His mistake was thinking that going home for the summer as a free man was going to solve his every problem, but no. As it turns out, having an infinite amount of time to think about the state of his life, his absolute lack of direction, or love life was not a good thing.

The fact that he felt somehow disconnected from all his childhood friends had not helped matters either. Ian’s family had moved away, but at least he had reached out and invited him to Brighton. Anja had called but she was away on vacation with her family. Richard hadn’t returned for the summer, he’d gone south to his girlfriend’s house and the others had barely shown interest in seeing him. 

In a way, his home barely felt like a home anymore. His parents were preparing to move away to the Isle of Man, Martyn was touring Sweden with Cornelia and his friend group had basically vanished into thin air.

After only a week of feeling so anxious that he was unable to eat, or speak to anyone, Phil decided to run back to what he knew and enrolled in a master’s degree. It was just one more year but at least it would probably help him get a job related to what he loved: making videos. 

---

October 2008

Phil looked down at his phone and smiled as he sent a winky face to Stephen. He threw himself back on the bed, a wide smile gracing his lips. Every time he chatted with Stephen, Phil couldn’t help the giddy feeling deep in his stomach. He was the first person who truly understood exactly how he felt about making YouTube videos because he had a channel of his own where he posted short films, focusing more on the directorial side of things than Phil did, but they still had their passion project in common. 

Biting his lip and feeling the blush creeping into his cheeks, Phil invited Stephen to join him and his other YouTube friend, Charlie, in Manchester. He watched the screen intently until another notification popped up. 

“Did you ask him yet?” Charlie asked over text.

“Yes! X_x I’m waiting for a reply. What if he says no?”

“O_o’ Nah, it’s obvious he likes you.”

Stephen finally replied. “Sure! Thursday?”

“Charlie has work. Saturday?” Phil offered. It was silly, but Phil felt a bit insecure about meeting Stephen one on one because he was just so cool, so he wanted to bring Charlie to make it more of a friendly hang out than a date. Well, it had been Charlie’s idea after all, so why not?

“Sick! Let’s film something together some other time,” Stephen said.

“Kool,” Phil replied and switched over to the conversation with Charlie. “Saturday!”

“Told you he would say yes!”

“Thanks for coming with us ^_^ u r the best!” Phil replied and threw his phone on the bed, getting up and starting to pick an outfit for the night. If he rushed maybe he could get ready-

He ran back to his bed as soon as he heard the Skype notification and did a quick fringe check while the call connected. He giggled when the first thing he saw was a very dishevelled Dan being vigorously kissed by an old, long haired mutt. 

“Aww, he’s so cute!” Phil said.

Dan laughed and tried to get his dog to settle down. “Stop! Phil is going to think that you are weird!”

“I would never!” Phil said, bringing his hand to his chest in mock offence.

Sammy turned towards Dan’s laptop and barked, letting his tongue hang out the side of his mouth.

“Hellooooo Sammy!” Phil said.

Sammy cocked his head and sat on Dan’s lap, making it so Dan had to lean to the side to be able to see the screen. “Hey, how was the exam?”

“Awful, how else would an exam go?” Phil laughed. “How was your Geo presentation?”

“I think I did pretty well. Nobody else picked Burkina Faso.”

“I can believe that,” Phil smirked. “So how is your school year going so far?”

“I wish I was dead, but other than that, pretty well,” Dan smiled.

“I don’t like it when you joke like that,” Phil frowned.

“Who said I was joking?” Dan let out a humourless laugh. “Anyways, my friend group has disintegrated. Lucy and Tom broke up and now hate each other, Emilio is not talking to me, or anyone for that matter, and Jack told me to fuck off today.”

“Oh… what happened?” This was terrible news for Dan, no matter how much he tried to play it off as something he had expected.

“Well, you know how it is,” he said, absentmindedly petting Sammy as he settled down. “I’m painfully unpopular and they don’t want to get beat up for speaking to me. The inbetweeners can never relax with that. Now that we are no longer a group we are easier targets and since I’m usually the problem, everyone is avoiding me like the plague.”

Phil winced, trying to think of anything he could say to lift Dan’s spirits, but what could he possibly say to make up for the fact that Dan had no friends other than him, again. “Dan, are you sure there isn’t anyone you can talk to about this?”

Dan let out an exasperated sigh. “No, we’ve gone over this so many times. It’s fine, Phil; really. It’s just one more year and I’ll never have to see any of them again.”

“But-” Phil tried.

“I don’t want to talk about it, ok?” Dan snapped, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” Phil mumbled. “I know; I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Dan let out a small sigh. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry. You are my only friend and the only one I can talk to. I shouldn’t snap at you for trying to help, but just telling you these things helps enough. You know?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

Dan slapped his hands on his thighs, startling Sammy and causing him to leave with a reproachful look on his face. “Sorry, buddy,” He said over his shoulder before locking eyes with Phil again. “Let’s talk about something else. How are things? Are you dating anyone?”

“Nah, not anymore. He-” Phil paused for a second realising he messed up but not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “He cheated on me. Robert was his name. Fuck that guy.”

Dan flashed him a smile. “Yeah, fuck that guy. Are you ok though?”

“Yeah,” Phil sighed, feeling encouraged at seeing Dan smile again. “I’ll admit I cried and all my new roommates helped me set everything he gave me on fire, even the plushie.”

“Noooo, poor plushie!” Dan laughed and let himself fall to the side dramatically.

Phil laughed, relaxing a bit more since Dan hadn’t reacted badly. “Sorry, he had to go. Oh, Also, last year I had a crush on a coworker and I thought he wanted to make out in the basement, but he just wanted me to help him steal chocolates for his girlfriend.”

Dan laughed even harder at that, letting himself fall sideways and kicking his feet in the air. “Stop!”

After watching Dan laugh for way too long, Phil decided to deliver the final blow. “I ended up quitting that job because an old lady threw a chocolate orange at my head,” he said in a monotone voice, eagerly waiting for Dan’s reaction.

“AAAaaaah, I’m going to barf,” he said, clutching at his stomach with tears running down his cheeks. “I can’t even.”

Phil smiled and enjoyed watching his friend laugh at his misery. “Hey, Dan?”

Dan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. “Yeah?”

Phil bit his lip for a moment and decided that it was ok to ask. It was Dan after all. “You don’t care that I’m gay, right?”

“Well your MySpace says bisexual so I assumed you liked guys anyway.” Dan shrugged but offered a tiny smile. “So are you gay gay then?”

“Yeah, never liked a boob in my life,” Phil said.

Dan snorted. “Boobs are nice sometimes.”

“For some people,” Phil conceded. “Not for me though.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dan nodded. “I don’t mind. You are my best friend - and you’re fucking fit. If anything, it’s a plus.” 

Dan was so casual about it, adding a little wink in the end, but his blush let Phil know that he was a bit embarrassed to have said that. Dan was 17 anyway and in a vulnerable position, so Phil didn’t entertain the comment other than to avoid his friend the embarrassment. “I would say I’m severely unfit but thanks,” he laughed. 

Someone knocked on Phil’s door. “Yeah?” He asked.

“Hey, are you coming to the party? Mark’s here,” Sarah said without opening the door. 

“Oh, yeah. You go, I just need to change and we’ll catch up in a bit.”

Dan’s face fell at that. “Oh, you have to leave already?”

“Not right now,” Phil shook his head. “We can still talk for a bit.”

“So you’re still with Mark,” Dan said. It didn’t sound like a question. “I remember you mentioning him a while back. He was at your birthday party.”

Phil frowned, he had never mentioned being with Mark for obvious reasons. He was also taken aback by Dan’s icy tone. “I’m not with Mark. He’s my friend.”

“Right,” Dan mumbled.

There was another knock on the door, but this time it opened slightly and Mark’s head peaked in. “Are you decent?”

“Haven’t been for a while,” Phil smiled. “I’m skyping with Dan.”

“Oh,” Mark said and invited himself over. He sat on the bed at Phil’s side and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Hi, Dan! Cool hair! When are you joining us?”

“Thanks,” Dan smiled, absentmindedly fixing his fringe.

Phil swatted Mark’s arm. “Leave him be, he’s in school. He will have time to party when he goes to uni.”

“So… next year?” Mark asked.

“I’m taking a gap year… but I could come to visit - if you want,” Dan said, looking a bit guarded but at least not snapping at Mark.

Phil raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yeah, if you want…” Dan mumbled.

Phil almost slapped himself for making Dan doubt he would be welcome. “Of course! Do you know where you want to go yet?”

Dan shrugged. “Maybe Manchester… or York.”

“York is ace,” Phil said and both Mark and Dan laughed at him.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Dan. If you ever want to visit, we’ll take you out and about to some parties - unless you want to stay home, which would be fine. No pressure,” Mark said.

Phil smiled but looked into Mark’s eyes giving him a silent warning. “Why don’t you go make us some drinks while I get changed and chat with Dan.”

“Ok, don’t take an hour or I’ll fall asleep on the couch.”

“Old man,” Phil laughed. “Alright,” he said and waited until Mark had walked out to continue, but before he could say anything Dan broke the silence.

“Are you sure you’re not dating?” He pressed, sounding small. 

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said, not understanding why Dan was so set on the topic and, quite honestly, starting to get a bit annoyed. “Mark doesn’t do dating. He likes to be free.”

Dan’s eyebrows disappeared under his fringe. “And you’re ok with that?”

“Yeah, of course,” Phil said with a shrug. “He can do whatever he wants. What made you think that we were together like that?”

“The way you speak about him and just now, he looked at you like… I don’t know,” Dan said, frowning. “He likes you.”

Phil shook his head. “Mark likes everyone - and that’s ok.”

“Would you date him if he wanted a relationship?” Dan insisted. 

Phil paused, really considering it for a moment. “No, I don’t think I would. I know that he is happy fooling around and I wouldn’t want to ruin his fun. I’m sure I’ll meet someone who wants to actually be in a relationship and hopefully not cheat on me.”

“You deserve that, to be happy,” Dan said.

“Dan, you deserve that too. I know you don’t think you do but I promise that it’s true. Ok?”

Dan ventured a small smile, even if a little unsure. “Ok.” His cell phone pinged and he grabbed it, reading a text, his face falling again.

“Everything ok?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, just my - my girlfriend. I better leave you to it and head out too.”

“Say hi to her from me,” Phil tried but the light in Dan’s eyes was gone.

“Yeah, I will. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Do that,” Phil said. “See ya.”

“Yeah, bye,” Dan said and disconnected the call immediately.

Phil was glad that they had been able to catch up after so long but he had the nagging feeling that something else was going on in Dan’s life, something that he was not willing to talk about. Given that Dan didn’t appreciate him asking too many questions, he decided to let his friend tell him on his own terms.

He put on a pair of probably clean black skinny jeans, a black MCR T-shirt and two belts before heading out in search of Mark. The flat was fairly quiet except for Sarah’s room and the singing coming from the kitchen. Phil smiled and wrapped his arms around Mark, hugging him from behind. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Mark looked over his shoulder only long enough to peck Phil’s lips. “Malibu and coke?”

“Sure,” Phil said, stepping back and grabbing the drink Mark was already handing him. “Why did you invite Dan over?”

“I don’t know. He seemed sad. What better for an 18 year old to have friends in uni that can take him to bars?”

“He’s 17 and I don’t think he is ready for bars around here.”

“Of course he is. You just need to keep an eye on him, remind him not to put his drink down and make sure he doesn’t leave with anyone. Or do you think he would rebel against that and leave with someone?”

“No, I don’t think he would, but still. I think he is too young to hang out in the places we do. What if someone offers him drugs or - I don’t know,” Phil said, feeling unsure. “Maybe if we keep an eye on him.”

Mark’s smile dimmed when he realised that Phil was truly worried about Dan. “We can just hang out at mine with people we trust, but he needs more friends.”

“Yeah, he does,” Phil said and took a long sip of Malibu. 

Mark nodded and pressed shuffle on his iPod. “Maybe you should introduce him to Charlie and Stephen.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, maybe next year.” Perhaps introducing Dan to his YouTube friends would be a good idea. Who knows, maybe by then he and Stephen would have moved beyond the occasional drunk kiss. He tried not to let his mind linger on those memories, he reserved those for his alone time.

---

Summer 2009

Being free from uni was the best. Phil could finally go out with his friends and fool around with some cute guys in York. Having graduated both from his BA and his masters, he didn’t have much of an excuse to stay in the city for long and his parents asked him to come home since he didn’t have a job that could fully support him as Martyn did. 

That was not the only change in his life. Stephen and him were getting quite close and Phil finally admitted to himself that he was developing feelings for his friend, it was not just a crush.

He didn’t want to get too attached yet so he still went out to bars and slept around as much as he could when he visited Mark in York but he still couldn’t get Stephen out of his head. In a moment of weakness, he confessed his feelings for Stephen to Charlie who was incredibly supportive even if he did tease Phil about it and promised to speak to Stephen, maybe figure out if he felt the same way about Phil. 

Mentally, he didn’t feel as isolated as the previous year but he wasn’t doing super well. Ian and Anja had visited but everyone else had basically moved on. Sometimes he just yearned for what no longer was a part of his life and he couldn’t help but take the fact that everyone had just abandoned him personally. His mum had said that it was normal to lose touch with those who no longer share a space with us, that it was a part of life, but Phil simply didn’t agree. He had never intended to basically lose all his childhood friends. Thankfully, there was one person who had stuck at his side through the years, and he didn’t even live nearby. Phil felt like with Dan being an adult, maybe there wasn’t a reason they couldn’t meet anymore. Even their parents knew about their friendship.

On October 16 Dan finally found the confidence to post his very first video, which was amazing and got quite a bit of views, especially after Phil gave him a shout out. It made Phil smile that Dan said he was encouraged to post by “friends,” it was his way of mentioning him without actually naming him. He was so freaking proud of Dan and he made sure to mention it in yet another of their 5 hour long Skype calls.

That day, they talked and laughed until their stomach hurt and tears were streaming down their cheeks. Phil invited Dan over, and even though they had both mentioned the possibility before, this time it actually felt real. After some research, they decided that October 19 would be the perfect date for a meet-up. Dan would be visiting Manchester to check out the uni he wanted to attend and they could go back to Phil’s since his parents were in Florida for their annual retiree trip.

Phil lay down on his bed, listening to Dan’s long rant about a movie he’d seen. The next time Phil opened his eyes, it was already the following morning. He smiled when he realised he had fallen asleep while on the call. His computer was dead but he shot Dan a good morning text and got up to clean his very messy room. He needed to make the entire house look decent for his guest. Sure, his mum had left it in pristine condition but he’d been a bit of a slob when left to his own devices.

He spent the next 2 days putting things in random places because he had overthought everything so much that he didn’t even know what would look normal and what wouldn’t anymore. In the end, he let out a long sigh and reminded himself that Dan had been his friend for years and he knew who Phil was already. The chances of him thinking Phil was too weird by the look of his house were very slim. 

He looked at the time and ran out of the house, barely remembering to lock the door before rushing towards the bus stop. In the end, everything worked out and when Phil saw his tall and lanky friend towering over everyone else in Piccadilly, he knew that everything had been worth it.

Dan did a little trot towards him and surprised him by wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into a warm hug, tighter than any other hug Phil had ever received, and that made him smile and return the gesture.

“Hey! How was the trip?” Phil asked, reluctantly breaking the hug.

“Nice. There was a weird guy staring at me so I switched seats, but other than that it was good. Well worth the 19 pounds.”

“I’m glad!” Phil said. “Wanna head to the Apple Store?”

“Isn’t that where you took Charlie and Stephen?” Dan asked, referencing the pictures they had posted to Twitter.

“Yeah,” Phil said, frowning. Was that bad for some reason? 

“Are you flirting with me?” Dan asked with a wink. “Is that where you take all of your guys?”

Phil let out a shocked laugh, feeling the blush creeping up his cheeks and hoping that Dan wouldn’t think he was a creep. “Shut up. We can go to Starbucks instead if you want.”

“Apple Store first, Starbucks later. I wouldn’t want you to attack me because of your caffeine addiction.”

“Hey! I have it under control!”

“Of course you do, Lester,” Dan smiled, rolling his eyes.

They ran a bit wild all over the city, taking pictures and laughing, getting looks from old people who scoffed at them. The last stop before the bus was the big wheel. Phil stepped into the carriage, guiding Dan in with a wide smile, he was just excited to be able to show Dan all his favourite places and to see things through the eyes of someone who was experiencing them for the first time. 

It was a great day, an amazing day even, but it was also a bit confusing and shocking. 

Phil had always taken Dan’s flirting as a bluff, he’d figured Dan was all bark and no bite, but when Dan called his name and pressed their lips together softly, gently - even expertly - it caught Phil off guard. The kiss made his skin tingle from the tip of his toes to the last hair on his head in a way that he had never experienced before and he found himself responding, losing himself in the feeling, and then - it was over. Dan flashed him a smile without even saying a word and looked out the carriage. 

Bracing himself on the rail, Phil let out a small breath and put his hand to his chest. What it meant - he didn’t know; he would let Dan decide that. 

If Dan didn’t want to talk about it then that was that. Phil was willing to let it go.

---

Phil led Dan into his family home and showed him around, giggling at Dan’s commentary about how haunted it looked even though his parents had been the ones to build it. There were no Victorian ghosts attached to the house because it was simply impossible. Dan still rejected this information which made Phil laugh. Then, an idea popped into his head. “We should film a video together for my channel.”

Dan stopped mid hallway and turned around. “Really? You would put me on your channel?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Phil frowned at the sudden way Dan’s face had fallen, but in a flash, his expression morphed into a bright smile again.

“Alright then, lead the way.”

Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and dragged him into his bedroom, suddenly feeling a bit shy about the bright green carpet and walls his 10 year old self had chosen. “This is my bedroom,” he said, stupidly.

“The famous AmazingPhil bedroom,” Dan said. “Bet you brought many guys up here.”

“Dan, I live with my parents,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe you like to be heard.” Dan had the gall to wiggle his eyebrows at him.

“Ew, no,” Phil said and placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders, making him sit on the bed. 

Phil brought his laptop and sat beside Dan, thinking for a moment. Maybe some audience participation could help. He decided to tweet, asking people to send some questions in, and as per usual, his viewers were being weird about it. 

Dan took pen and paper and, instead of choosing the safest options, he wrote down the most unhinged topics and challenges in his indecipherable handwriting. They took turns reading the questions out loud and let their creative juices flow freely which worked a million times better than Phil would’ve hoped. Filming together turned out to be super fun, so even though it took a long time, they continued until they ran out of material. 

Phil was just saying a few closing words for the video when Dan said “This was the most fun I’ve ever had” and tackled him, nearly pushing him into the wardrobe that stood behind them and effectively knocking the wind out of him, especially when Dan pinned him to the ground with a wide smirk.

Phil felt like he was falling, physically, but he was already on the ground so there was nowhere else to go. Dan hovered over him and for a moment it looked like he was slowly leaning down to kiss Phil again, but when Dan’s phone vibrated in his pocket he sat up and rushed to check his notifications, his face falling as soon as he did.

“Everything ok?” Phil asked.

“Yeah,” Dan mumbled, looking up from his phone. “I’m tired. Can we get to bed?” His voice sounded so flat, almost sad. 

“Sure, you can sleep here and I’ll take Martyn’s -”

Dan shook his head. “Can you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone tonight…” He reached for his duffle bag and pulled a hoodie out, shivering a bit before slipping it on.

“I…” Phil hesitated. What was Dan asking for exactly?

“I just need a hug. I don’t want to have nightmares, that’s all.” Dan pulled at his sleeves until they showed only the tip of his fingers.

Phil nodded and cleared his throat. “Of course!”

Ten minutes later they lay in bed, Phil flat on his back with Dan laying on his side, pressed tightly to his frame, his head resting on Phil’s shoulder and one leg thrown over his as well. It didn’t take long for Dan to drift off to sleep, but Phil lay there in the dark, reliving every moment of their day, their meeting, the Apple Store, Starbucks, The Wheel - the kiss. Then his mind went to Dan’s giggles while they filmed the video, the tackle and almost second kiss - and whatever Dan saw on his phone that upset him. 

Dan’s phone vibrated on the bedside table and Phil couldn’t resist the urge. He reached for it and just turned on the screen to see the notification. It was a text from “Em.” That was probably his cousin Emily, the one Dan didn’t really like, the rude one with a moustache. They were probably arguing again. He set the phone down and finally let sleep claim him.

The following day, they woke up pretty late and they decided to stay in and do a movie marathon, which was super fun. At first, Dan didn’t seem to be mentally present and, for a moment, Phil was scared that things would be weird between them because of the kiss, or maybe he had done something wrong, but Dan assured him that he was fine, just a bit distracted.

He briefly wondered if the call Dan had received the previous night had anything to do with his sudden mood change. Thankfully it didn’t last long. After the first movie, they got a fuzzy blanket, ordered pizza and cuddled up on the sofa, and Phil was happy to feel Dan relaxing into his arms and chatting loads, as usual. 

By the end of the day, they had caught up with all the movie releases they'd missed, finished the pizza and decided to settle down and edit what they had filmed. Phil had taken the time to show Dan some things he’d learned at uni, given him some ‘editing tips’ as Dan had called them, as they laughed and played around with things.

Overall, it had been a fun weekend and Phil knew he would never forget it. 

---

October 25th 2009

Phil was excited to finally post his first video with Dan, ‘Phil is not on fire,’ a sort of remix of odd questions and jokes turned into something that he was very proud of. To their surprise, they received 100 views quite fast, a number they hadn’t been able to achieve on their own at that moment so they didn’t know what to think.

People interacted with Phil’s channel a lot more than before but it could be a one time thing, some sort of glitch on the platform. For the time being, he celebrated the success with a six hour Skype call with Dan and some well deserved Mario Kart.

Dan visited again on the 30th for a late birthday celebration since Mark had promised to take him out to the pubs but hadn’t been available before. Phil was a bit hesitant about how Dan and Mark would get along, because of the age difference and how much Dan questioned Phil about him. In a way, Phil assumed Dan felt a bit insecure being around older people, but luckily, they had gotten on immediately. By the end of the night, they were all moderately drunk and back at Mark’s, playing a very controversial game of Monopoly and eating hotdogs until like 6 am.

Overall it was a good night, even if Phil couldn’t really relax because he felt so protective of Dan at the pub, keeping an eye on any guy who approached him and even monitoring his interactions with Mark.

Phil knew that Mark flirted with everyone and was not interested in people of Dan’s age but - he just didn’t want anyone hurting his friend. Dan had had enough with his recent breakup and he didn’t need any more drama.

Maybe Phil was just jealous of Dan. Honestly, it was hard for Phil to know where he stood with Mark sometimes. He wasn’t in love with him but Mark still held a place in his heart, as more than a friend. It was complicated - too complicated. Every time Phil tried to untangle his feelings about their situation he got a headache and gave up.

That was partially why he had started to focus more on his feelings for Stephen. There seemed to be something there, a potential relationship, definitely more than what Mark was willing to give him. Phil smiled thinking that maybe he could ask Stephen to be his boyfriend at the gathering. A soft snore coming from Dan, who was sleeping next to him, pulled him from his thoughts and made him giggle. He pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead and shut his eyes.

He woke up well into the morning with a pounding headache, and his mood, as well as his plans, only continued to sour. It was the 31st and he and Dan were due to take the train back to London together to make it to the Halloween gathering with a few hours to spare, but things had gotten complicated early in the morning. Stephen and Charlie were supposed to join them around 10 am but they hadn't and when Mark had texted them, they had simply not replied. 

Mark told them to just go without Stephen and Charlie and apologised for not coming along, but he had to work. He left Phil the spare set of keys and asked them to send pictures later.

Phil nodded and texted them again, trying to figure out what was going on but Charlie sent a vague text saying they couldn’t make it, which was fine… until Phil opened Twitter and saw a picture of them making out Charlie had shared.

His stomach dropped and, for a moment, he thought he was going to cry over Stephen, over Charlie’s betrayal… but he couldn’t. His feelings were contained deep inside him, behind some sort of invisible wall. At the same time, he felt as if there was this sort of darkness surrounding him, was it sadness? Or maybe he was going to faint again. That was getting frequent.

“Phil?” Dan said, sounding almost underwater. “Phil!”

Phil opened his eyes and realised he was on the floor. “Did I faint?”

“I think so. Are you alright? Do you want to go to A&E?”

“No, it’s fine. It happens sometimes,” he said flatly.

“Are you sure?” Dan asked. “You look way too pale.”

Phil let out a noncommittal hum and sat up against the couch. “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

Dan frowned. “Don’t do that, don’t shut me out. What’s going on?”

“Charlie posted a picture kissing Stephen,” Phil said, looking up at Dan, trying not to cry. “I told Charlie that I like Stephen and he promised to help me with him, but now they are dating. That’s why they cancelled on us.”

“Fuck,” said Dan. “Charlie is a piece of shit. I never liked him anyway, he sounds like a dick.”

Phil wanted to disagree but he knew Dan was right. He was almost sure that Charlie had done it on purpose to hurt him. He was always competing with Phil for one thing or another. Stephen was just today’s prize to him.

“Hey, do you still want to go out?” Dan asked. “We can stay if you want.”

“No, let’s just order pizza and stay in,” Phil admitted. “Please,” he said, his voice shaking a bit as he tried to stay calm.

“Yeah, sure,” Dan nodded. “Do you want me to call Mark?”

Phil shook his head. He didn’t want to see or speak to anyone - just Dan. “Do you want to play Mario Kart?”

“Always. You sit here, I’ll handle the pizza and set everything.”

Phil looked into Dan’s worried eyes and finally attempted a small smile. “Thank you, Dan. You’re a good friend.”

Dan flashed him a smile and went about getting everything sorted. It was crazy that they had met on a random Yahoo chat room nearly 4 years ago and become internet friends and now real friends. Sometimes it was as if Dan was the only person who truly understood him.

Two hours later, feeling a lot better and no longer hangry, he decided that enough was enough. He wasn’t going to let his shit friends ruin their night. It was up to him to keep his promise and introduce Dan to the other youtubers, actually nice ones.

“You know what?” Phil said. “Let’s go to the gathering anyway, we don’t need anyone else. Get the costumes from the closet, I’ll try to find the makeup, we can make it to the next train.”

“Deal!” Dan said.

In the end, Phil was glad to have changed his mind. They had a lot of fun dressed as a cat and a bear, meeting other youtubers, and taking silly pictures that Phil held very dear. That night, like many others, Dan had been the one to make everything right, to make him feel safe and included. In his eyes, there was nothing Dan couldn’t make right.

[whatwouldvalerydo]

💚❤️ Part 1/9 💚❤️

After two years with almost no contact, Scarlett returns to England and visits Phil Baker's wand shop with a proposition that is hard to say no to.

Phil belongs to the amazing @flareshogwarts

With the turning of age in the Wizarding community, most of the students were even more focused on future careers and exams. However that was not the case for all, Scarlett being one of those few examples that did not care for it. She studied, yes, more in an attempt to pass time and still spend the remaining of it with her few friends, but not to actually forge a path for herself. She had always mentioned how she hated Hogwarts, hated the idea of magic and everything related to it. And somehow, despite passing each year, she still held onto that belief.

The very thought of having less than a year until the entire turmoil ended made it bearable, at least in her eyes.

But then again when it came to the Muggle world, a word she hated with a passion, she blamed magic as well. For making her lose so much time, for disconnecting her from it during her studies and whenever she came back she felt as if she did not belong to it entirely, but neither did she fit in the Wizarding world.

But it would be over, a mantra in her head on constant repeat.

She would be done, finally absolutely done with everything and mostly everyone. She wanted back to a normal Muggle life, she was adamant, but after some heavy thinking, even that became hazy at best. Since she did not attend a normal school, how could she fare? As if Hogwarts set her up to fail. That blasted school and her birth father absolutely destroyed her chances at a normal life. It was his gene after all that made her a witch, what a joke.

And as Scarlett predicted, or more likely dictated back in year six, during her graduation a year later no member of her family was present. As she got on that podium, she stared at the familiar faces of a few people she actually called friends and she was satisfied with it. She was not emotional, she was relieved actually.

During the graduation ball she vowed to have fun, a sort of “fuck you party” she called it, her attending with Phil Baker, the only guy she actually liked to hang around with. It became a thing really, guys asking her out for a walk, for a ball, a dance, a date to Hogsmeade and she would always tell them she already had plans with Phil, plans he never said no to, accepting the dynamic with a smile and a wave directed at yet another turned down guy.

But as soon as the last goodbye was said in London, Scarlett left and continued leaving everything behind. It started off with travelling for the first year her social media being filled with pictures posted on a daily basis and while she did keep in touch with her friends, it appeared she was more busy than anything.

Word was that she was travelling as an influencer, making money on the side from that, which was not wrong. At one point her mother called, mentioning her father actually left everything to her and since she was of age in the Muggle world she could claim it. She did not care for it, told her to wait for whenever she felt like returning.

She met with the girls on trips, here and there, a mess of memories from sleepless nights forming in Scarlett’s head. It soon became a mix between worlds, her finding herself being drawn into it just to see certain people. She learned what others were up to after graduation, promising to visit once she returned to England.

But the second year came and Scarlett still did not return. She tried to open a bakery and after hiring an accountant, she had a fling with him deciding after that neither him, nor the small business mattered or were worth her time and effort. After all, she liked baking, but did not like being on her feet sweating, unless it was for dancing.

So she danced, pushing back everything she could possibly feel. After all, that was the only way Scarlett knew how to show emotions, while also hiding others. Scarlett never cried, she hated it, so she danced and danced.

Her social media suddenly was empty, a few pictures here and there, even fewer in between months, messages even less that before.

And then she suddenly returned to England, met the girls, had a blast. But questions were not something she answered. She met acquaintances, everything looking up. But of course she had plans to travel to another destination soon. As if her skin itched whenever she returned to England and memories flooded her head.

However her steps took her to someone she had been in contact with, but just like with the others, it had not been as much during the last years, small texts really that got lost in the context of time spent apart. She had seen the wands when in the Wizarding environment, intricate designs reminding her of him. So she learned he opened up his own shop making wands, Scarlett shaking her head since he had not mentioned it. In truth he was never one to brag, unless of course it was about an anime or game and his knowledge overruled yours.

So one morning, with a coffee in hand, Scarlett stood in front of Phil Baker’s wand shop. He was busy with a customer when she walked in through the open door, her patiently leaning against the frame, waiting for him to finish up.

Turning to the entrance after registering the wand in his notebook, his eyes widened when he looked at her “Long time no see.” She smiled, letting the customer exit the store, scoffing when she actually had to move out of the way, trying not to chuckle when Phil dropped his quill.

“Scarlett.” He managed to utter, eyes blinking as if he could not believe she was actually there in person “Hi. Hello.”

“Hi.” She greeted him as well, stepping inside the store “I honestly would have imagined you in a comic store, or opening a gaming arcade, but to be fair, I think this is more you.” Placing her coffee on the counter, she glanced at several wands that were on display. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she looked back at him “You’re really talented, but then again you’ve always been crafty.”

Phil nodded, taking the compliment but not responding in full. Instead, he kept looking back at her, trying to come up with a proper line to say, especially after not seeing each other for so long apart from the few selfies they decided to share between the messages they sent across.

Picking up a wand, she looked at it, turning it over between her fingers “Surprised actually I don’t get a hug. Everyone I have ever met with couldn’t contain it. Guess you didn’t miss me as much as you said you did.”

Lowering his gaze, he winched internally, Scarlett adding to it as she pulled out her phone, hitting play to a voice message he left her some months back, his voice being heard from the speaker “Hey, it’s me *a shy chuckle was heard* That’s silly, you have my number. It’s been a while since you’ve been online or answered any messages and I guess…I miss you.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He mentioned, suddenly very interested in some records from a year prior that he stumbled upon as he turned and searched some shelves in the back. Scarlett followed him with her eyes, but did not go behind the counter “No one knew where you were so they were worried.”

“I missed game nights.” She spoke, resting her elbows on the counter, watching his back as he still did not turn around, but nodded to himself nonetheless “I’ve been absent. Didn’t text back or call.” Three more nods were added, as if he was counting in his head, reminding himself of everything she had done, or in this case did not do “I didn’t want to come back at all.”

Hearing that he turned around, eyes wide as he searched her face, but Scarlett looked at him without a hint of emotion, that devious glint in her eyes ever present “How come you did?” his curiosity was peaked, she knew that from the moment he straightened his back, before even turning back to look at her.

“I guess even someone like me ends up missing people.” Tilting her head to the side, she smiled softly “But that’s not why I’m here.”

Phil only nodded once more, eyes lowering to his wands “You are here to shop?”

“No.” Scarlett was quick to add, confusion settling between his brows, Phil running his hands through his hair, somehow managing to ruffle it even more “It’s July, I can’t imagine your sales are skyrocketing now that the kids are on break.”

“I keep busy, I have stuff to do. A lot of stuff to do.” he was finally looking at her, the woman squinting her eyes slightly.

“Alright, then allow me to at least counter all this stuff.” Getting on her tippy toes, she further leaned on the counter “I want to leave soon to my next destination. I have enough miles and money from stupid men to last me a while. So how about you turn that OPEN sign to CLOSED and join me?”

Phil laughed and for once she did not know if it was because he was actually amused by her proposition or because he was indeed nervous or surprised to even form a proper response. But then again he did manage to always confuse her somewhat, or some more and then even more. His way of being, talking at times left her scrambling for an answer or a comeback.

“It’s Japan.” She added to her previous statement, Phil’s eyes lighting up instantly “You can go to your comic book stores and comic cons and I will visit temples and hot springs while taking pretty pictures in expensive kimonos.”

“And you want me to come with you?” he asked pointing a finger towards his chest.

“We can’t have Japan without Phil Baker now can we?” confusing Phil was actually a harder task than it appeared to be, mainly because he was usually so stuck inside his own head or ideas that it was hard to actually pull him from them.

“Are you messing with me?” right, the untrustworthy side, she recognized it since it was mainly because of how she was. And because she had missed so much, ignored him basically since there was no kinder word she could conjure in that very moment.

“No, we can buy the tickets now, I got discounts by the dozen.” Finally he approached the counter once more, Scarlett backing down a step to sit properly.

“Why?”

Frowning, she was reaching the end of her very thin patience “Why what?”

“Why do you want to go with me? We haven’t talked that much since you left. It’s been two years.” And right he was, Scarlett while being very active on her social media was actually very absent in replying to people. But then again not even when she was face to face did she actually like to talk if something did not interest her.

“I haven’t really been keeping in touch with anyone believe it or not, especially during the past year. Nothing personal.” For whatever reasons that weren’t shared with her, Phil still refused to budge, Scarlett eventually backing off “Look, I wasn’t looking for a yes right off the bat, think it over. I’m here for another week, text me. You still have my number right?”

“Yes.”

Scarlett only nodding before she turned around and exited the shop, coffee left behind on his counter.

Taking a seat to calm his nerves, he ran a shaky hand through his hair. What was she even thinking coming back when he barely managed to get over her? She did not even have the decency to tell him she was leaving, Phil having sent letters upon letters to her house in hopes that he would hear back from her.

Imagine his surprise when he was finally back home and had cell signal? The amount of pictures flooded her social media, but still no message from her. Not even a “hi” or a “fuck you Baker” like she usually did. So if she did not bother, why would he?