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caesthetix · 3 months ago

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GREAT DESCENDANT — Part 3. Obsidian Scarf

↪ Attack on Titan series

↪ content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler

When you first breached the wall maria, what went inside your mind next was how to make sure everyone could survive. You and your fellow warriors were just thirteen and fourteen years old kids at that time, and no one knew what the condition would be inside the walls.

There were lots of crimes such as robbery, human trafficking, and fraud going around. Even the garrison soldiers who were supposed to take care of the crisis inside the walls along with the military police seemed to be overwhelmed by how the condition turned out to get worse and worse every day.

So a year right after the breach, the majority of the refugees had to devote their lives and join the military to reclaim back wall maria. The royal government summoned around two hundred fifty thousand people to join the operation, mostly healthy men, and some of them were even women.

It had become a public secret that the results of the mission would turn out like that. With only a few surviving, barely one hundred people left, and you were devastated that day when you worked near the Plaza, finding Armin walking mindlessly, clutching a worn-out hat which he told you that it was belonged to his grandfather.

One of the summoned soldiers — who went to reclaim the wall and never came back.

Even though it was a cruel way to push those people to die, everyone inside the wall couldn't thank them enough for their sacrifices. The food shortage slowly got better for everyone who was still alive, the refugees even got a proper house to live their days. And slowly, everything started to ease down.

But of course, there was no guarantee that they would be safe. There was no guarantee that they wouldn't have to relive the same thing ever again. You knew that, you knew things that they never thought would happen. And you still hate yourself for becoming the reason why it happened in the first place.

"Are you sure that you are going to join the military?"

Your thought was interrupted by the gentle, mature voice that belonged to Mrs. Keller. She was the one who had been helping you out and offered you a job two years ago where you and the others barely survived. You worked with her by putting labels on her husband's wine, and she had treated you like her own daughter ever since.

"Yes, I am sure of that, Mrs. Keller."

Meanwhile, Mr. Keller himself was never home, rarely to be exact. He always traveled around Sheena to distribute his wine to the nobleman and aristocrats, leaving his wife in a house that was too big to be filled with one person. And even now, you didn't dare to ask her why she didn't have children.

She was such a perfect woman in your eyes, reminding you of your mother back home. Mrs. Keller remembered all your stories that you told her, about how you were not alone since you had three friends who were always there for you. She even invited them to have dinner with her, saying that the atmosphere would be nicer with more people around.

Annie being Annie was cautious at first, refusing to eat the meal that Mrs. Keller prepared for everyone. But when she saw Reiner crying after one mouthful of a spoon, she decided to taste the meal and always became the first one who finished it after that.

"Oh, dear. I will miss you so much!"

You were currently focusing on the label in your hand, sticking your tongue out a little as you didn't want the paper to be wrinkled or else it wouldn't look good on the bottle. But of course, you didn't expect Mrs. Keller to wrap her arms around you all of a sudden, squeezing your torso playfully, yet you could feel the affection from the gesture.

She didn't say anything as she just continued to hug you, sometimes even planting her lips at the back of your head. And you just stood there, basking yourself from the tenderness of a parent. It was nice to have something to hold on to for a while, even if you knew that she could possibly die by your own hand in the future.

But you shook it off, erasing all the negative thoughts that often slipped inside your mind. Just for once, you wanted to be selfish, so you pulled away from her, only to jump at her embrace and squeeze her torso so tight you didn't want to let go.

Today would be the last time you helped her. Tomorrow you were going to the cadet corps along with your friends. She had been talking a lot more than usual, not wanting to waste just one second away from you. You knew that she loved you like her own daughter, and you too, loved her like she was your mother.

From how her fingers would gently untangle the knot on your hair or the gentle pat on top of your head — you had been masking yourself with the idea that you were just a normal citizen in Paradis, whom your father always busy with work and rarely home, whom your mother was a gentle, loving woman who loved children.

You knew you didn't deserve any of it, you knew you didn't have the right to feel such love and hugged her body as if she was not one of your future victims. But when you felt her palms caressing your hair, whispering that she would miss you and send you lots of letters — you decided to accept this little heaven that you created.

"By the way, I have something for you!" She abruptly pulled away as she grinned, her green orbs glimmered with mischief before booping your nose. "Wait here, okay, darling? I'll be right back!" And before you could answer, she already stormed off to the upstairs, who knew what that woman would do.

You shook your head as you just leaned yourself on the table behind you. This workplace filled like home already with how many days that you spent here. Boxes filled with high-quality wine, stacks of shiny labels that you should stick on the red bottle — you would genuinely miss this place and the person who owned it.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the room, interrupting your thought. And you could imagine how Mrs. Keller was running down the stairs impatiently so she could see your adorable face once more. She had her usual charming smile plastered on her face as she strode towards you, a kraft paper bag in hand.

"Here you go." She handed it to you with a giddy smile, wanting to see your reaction to the gift. "I ask my husband to send something from Sheena. It's nothing much, but I hope you could use this as a soldier." So you opened the paper bag, retrieving a piece of cloth from inside. "You know, maybe to warm you up when winter comes."

You gently laid the packaging on the desk, orbs never leaving the warm, velvety clothes in your hand. It was an obsidian-coloured scarf, and you knew from how thin yet warm it was, or the way that you couldn't find any shabby seam on the textile — this must be worth lots of coins inside these walls.

"Mrs. Keller you don't have—"

"Hush, now."

She shut you up in the most gentle way, resting both hands on your shoulder and squeezed it gently. You didn't have to hear any other syllable slip from her lips, it just needed her warm gaze and reassuring smile to know that she wanted you to take it without hesitation.

It was as if she was trying to tell you that you couldn't get rid of her that easily — and she would be there for you every step of the way.

Your vision blurred. A single teardrop fell down your cheek, followed by a hiccup and nasty snort. You never cried like this, even when you bid farewell to your homeland, even when Marcel died to save you, never once you became such a mess.

Maybe it was because everything mixed into one that your heart and mind could not even understand. You didn't know if you cried because of your sadness and the guilt that kept eating you every day from the inside, or because of something as simple as feeling so loved.

It was both.

Her fingers delicately fetch the piece of cloth from your hand, asking you if you wanted her to help you wear it. You couldn't even answer it verbally, afraid that your voice would crack. So you just gave her a single nod in between your sobs, and it was the only thing she needed before circling the scarf on your neck.

"Oh, I forgot you wore a necklace. Pardon me."

You didn't flinch as her cold fingertips grazed your skin. She looked so focused, biting her bottom lip while squinting her eyes a little as she draped the scarf unevenly. Looping the longer end around your neck, she crossed both ends and tucking it gently under the loop.

Mrs. Keller took one step backward to admire her handiwork, but as her orbs moved up and down with an affectionate look, you knew that she wasn't just trying to make sure if the scarf was tucked in nicely. She appreciated you, engraving your figure like this inside her mind.

"You are perfect, my dear!" She clasped her hand together, grinning so wide that sometimes you wanted to ask if it hurt her or not for doing so. "Remember me when you graduate! I will send you lots of letters, and you have to answer them back, okay, little girl?"

"Yes, yes. I will." You chuckled softly before wrapping your arms around her once again, one that she reciprocated almost in an instant. With your mission, you didn't know if you could meet her again after graduation, but surely you would answer each of her letters without a doubt. "I promise I will, mom."

Everyone knew how much Mrs. Keller loved and cared for your entire well-being, so it didn't surprise them when you came back later than usual today. You always looked like you had no burden on your shoulder when you got back, having this little smile and a serene expression on your face.

So many times Reiner had been telling you to be careful, afraid of the demons putting a spell on you. But you shrugged it off and kept silent since you knew the truth about the citizens in Paradis, and he knew too well not to push you too much — still haunted by your glare that he received two years ago when he brought up Marcel.

"What's going to happen to our room?"

You were currently packing some of your clothes into your bag when you heard Annie's voice. She was mostly silent, but the two of you talked on a daily basis since she was a lot more comfortable being around you than the others. Probably because you had the same gender as her and became her roommates.

"Maybe they are going to keep it open for us, in case we are going to be back here." You stopped for a while, deciding to sit on the edge of the bed that creaks a little as you plopped yourself. "Since they literally give this room to us, and there are no other refugees who still need shelter."

Annie just gave you a small hum as she leaned her back on the wall, showing that she listened to your answer. But something bothered her mind and you could see it from how she seemed to be a lot more fidgety, not calm and collected like usual.

"But we are not going to be back here." Her voice dropped, lingered with solemn. "Right?"

You knew the answer to that, hell, you were sure that she knew too all along. Yet the way she asked you right now, she wanted you to lie. She had grown fond of those people who worked with her on the stables for the last two years, the blonde started to feel like she was home.

And you wanted to lie to her. If that meant she could at least live in a fantasy where she was just a normal sixteen years old teen instead of a warrior, you would lie to her. But you knew there was no point in that, sooner or later the fantasy would crack.

"I don't know, Annie." Though maybe you could give her the benefit of the doubt. "There was a possibility." And you didn't have any intention to give her more than that.

She seemed pleased enough with your answer, and you didn't try to say anything more as you let her create her own fantasy, her own path. You have been doing that for the last couple of years with Mrs. Keller as your mother figure, and you thought Annie would need that too, with a goal to keep her sanity in check.

"Have you ever missed anyone from home?" You were surprised when she talked again, and it seemed like she was a lot more talkative today. "From Marley, our homeland."

Your mind immediately veered from one person to another of the familiar faces that often popped up every now and then. Long-blonde hair, warm dark eyes, and cheeky smile; your father. The first one who filled your mind within a second when you heard the question. Then soft strands, styled in an updo — her laugh resonating through your ear as she watched you sneeze over a horse mane; your mother.

Pieck’s dishevelled hair that was always tied in a ponytail and how she always scurried off to anywhere Zeke went to, you could always picture them together. Whether it was something utterly platonic, or perhaps more than respect and admiration, you would never know. Hopefully, someday you will.

And of course, of course, he slipped in your mind. Perhaps he even popped at the same time as your father, but you just didn't want to acknowledge it before. His smug, annoying face that you wanted to slap sometimes. Or his cute, button nose that you liked to pinch or boop at random times that resulted in you getting another shout from him.

There was this peaceful expression on your face as you daydreamed about them, spending time again with those people that you loved and adored so much. Annie couldn't help but look at you with a small smile since she knew who would be in your mind at the moment. Despite her not being attached to the other warriors, she was quite observant of what happened around her.

"Galliard, eh?" Her voice pulled you back forcefully to the present. "I could never understand how come you like him. Marcel is more — partner material, but you never batted your eyes at someone else far from the rude blonde."

"Hey, now!" You fake gasped, clutching your heart dramatically. "Porco is unique, mind you." Annie snorted a little at your reasoning, shaking her head in amusement before she finished her packing, throwing the large backpack near the door. "And I don't know what you are talking about. I don't romantically like him if that's what you are trying to imply."

"Oh, please. Everyone with eyes could see how much you liked him."

"I do not—"

"Your eyes would light up with hearts like a lovesick girl."

"Annie, I am not!"

"You don't even realise that someone looks at you the same way, right?"

Your heart stopped at that. Before, you were whining and begging her to stop, jutting out your lips as you were too embarrassed that she exposed you like that. But this, this information — she announced it so smoothly as if she just talked about how bland the food was in Paradis.

You waited for her to elaborate more, perhaps giving you a hint or just saying it again since you still couldn't believe it. But with how Annie just tucked herself under the white blanket, ready to sleep, it seemed like you wouldn't get any explanation that you wanted. And at the same time, you were actually relieved, because then you didn't have to think much about this person she mentioned.

Pouting, you decided to just sleep in for the night since you would need all the stamina that you had for tomorrow. And just like any other night, you hoped that you could have a good dream today instead of the usual nightmare which never got tired of haunting you.

But it seemed like today, the one thing that haunted you was Annie's words.

You couldn't sleep, turning and shifting your body around that made your friend groan in a few minutes. Her bed was placed right across from yours, so when you turned to the left, the two of you would see eye to eye, and she had been glaring dagger at you for ruining her sleep (and you forgot that she could be a lot crankier than you when it came to that).

"What?"

Grinning sheepishly, you ignored the irritated look on her face. You were curious about what she meant by that, surely if someone was interested in you, you would have known it, right? But perhaps this someone was subtle, so despite having your friend ready to bark at you at this moment, you decided to ask.

"May I know who this person is?" You whispered-shout, feeling like anyone could walk inside the room. "Or you know, just give me a hint or something?"

"It's a boy." But that was the only thing she said before covering her whole face with the blanket, wanting to rest already and hoping that you would leave her alone for now. Yet even though she already hid under the white sheet, she could still feel your gaze bore on her. "And he had been looking at you like that since we were in Marley."

So hopefully, that added information — which actually didn't help you at all from knowing who it was — could satisfy you for tonight.

You decided to focus on your own thoughts after that, not wanting to disturb your friend even more. Having this mission in your hand shouldn't make you think too much about a matter of the heart. But something like this always excited you, and you cherished all of the precious feelings that you harboured for anyone.

Whether it was platonic or family love as you had to your parents and the maids in your home, or perhaps romantic love that you slightly felt when younger Galliard was around — whatever it was, you loved to understand it. Because you were certain that feeling was the greatest invention humans ever found.

The sun almost set for the day, painting the sky with an orange hue, creating a sense of comfort and tranquillity. Golden hour, you read that in one of the books you had, about how the sun turned everything that it touched into gold, for how everything felt like you were walking in a dream as warm enveloped your body.

For about the majority of your life, you always flew to your father's study when the clock struck five in the afternoon. No maids or butlers would stop you, knowing too well what you were going to do. The large window inside the room stretched throughout the wall, making it possible for the sunlight to illuminate the space.

And he would wait for you, you knew that your father saved all of his work and took a rest at such an hour. Because you were going to be there, because you would barge inside the room, running towards the windowpane and pressed your face on the glass, eyes glimmering as your orbs tinted with orange.

You remembered that one day you barged inside the room, not seeing how the guards tensed up and tried to stop you. White, maybe around a dozen men wearing a white uniform, a military uniform. Your father didn't scold you and gently scooted you outside, telling you that he had to finish a job. But you couldn't forget the menacing and disgusted look on their faces when they looked at you.

That was the first, and the last time you ever saw them. Your father always made sure that he had an empty schedule in the afternoon ever since, certain that his little girl would go to his study without knocking, and he didn't mind that, not at all. And that had become another routine that you shared with him.

When the clock struck five p.m., your tiny feet would drag you to your father's study. And he would always be there, sitting on his plush leather chair, waiting for you.

"I am not going to wait for you, you know."

Grumbling under his breath, he didn't face you ever since you sat there on top of the wooden crate right outside the base, accompanying him even though he didn't ask you to. "Either you or Marcel, I am not going to wait for the two of you to come back. Hell, I even wish that Reiner didn't come back at all but he had the armoured titan so he needed to come back."

He had been kicking pebbles and turned his back on you, both hands pocketed inside his trousers. And after around fifteen minutes of silence, he decided to speak up, only to say some discouraging things to you. Then again though, it was Porco Galliard you were talking to. He never said anything nice to you, what made you think he would change just because you are going to Paradis tomorrow?

"I know, Porco." You answered to satisfy him, knowing that he could be more irritated if you didn't say anything back.

Then it went back to another silence.

You had to get back after this, your parents must have wanted to spend their time with you, their only daughter. Tomorrow morning you needed to get on the ship that brought you to Paradis. A one-way-ticket, you believed. The military would leave you there with the other warriors, not coming back for perhaps a few years.

There was a high chance that some of you wouldn't come back, even everyone in the military knew that there was a possibility that this mission would fail. Yet they kept on going, feeling certain that at least with five titans infiltrating the Paradis, stealing the founding titan would be an easy task once they knew who inherited it.

Warriors would decapitate them, bringing whoever it was back to Marley and let other warrior candidates devour them. Though if they showed immense resistance, one of the remaining warriors had to eat them. No, the military was absolute and they told you to be the one who ate them — because you were a Tybur, because you inherited the powerful war hammer titan.

And yes, you should have been back by now. The last warrior meeting ended around half an hour ago. Yet here you were, wanting to spend your time with someone who didn't even look at you the entire time you were sitting there. You should have come back, having a quality moment with your family instead of wasting your time here, watching the back of the warrior candidates whose expression was unknown to you.

You could have caught the sunlight and watched it with your father inside his study, maybe even invited your mother for the day. That was what you were supposed to do, that was the right thing to do from the eyes of others.

But just today, for the last time in Marley, you wanted to have a memory where you watched the sunset with Porco Galliard.

It was always the same, no matter where you were in this world, the orange hue would stretch across the horizon at this time of day. And here, nothing changed, except maybe beside the fact that you were enjoying it with strangers, fellow soldiers, instead of warriors.

You thanked whoever built this place for making the barracks facing the west, becoming a perfect place for you to see the sun when it started to set. Now, you could spend time here, enjoying the serene atmosphere and the steady yet gentle breeze after the training was done for the day.

Your eyes flickered to a female soldier that had been running around the main ground, you shook your head in amusement when you recalled the event from a few hours prior. The girl ate a boiled, warm potato in the middle of the field where everyone was supposed to stand still with a perfect stance.

Well, here she was right now, running until her body couldn't take it. And despite how Annie mumbled under her breath about how nonsense everything was here — either it was the weak cadets or the messed-up training system — you couldn’t help but smile at the variety of people that you met here so far.

Maybe the life of a soldier wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Pock, Commander Magath called for you."

A delicate voice rang through his ear, pulling him back from his thoughts as he stared at the orange sky. But he didn't avert his eyes from the sight, not even for a second since he waited until the sun was hiding behind the horizon. Wanting to feel the only connection that he had with someone.

"There's only one sun in this world, Porco."

He had been standing here for a while, on the cliff not too far from Liberio. Two years, he wanted to mock himself for doing something like this for the past two years. No one knew the reason why he seemed so engrossed watching the sunset when he had never been like this before.

"It would be where I laid my eyes upon every day before the night came."

And despite all the rumours that were going around, despite how many times he was called at this time of day to face the commander. He would still stand there, hazel orbs watching every second passed by as the sun hid behind the hill, believing that your eyes landed on the same thing.

Even though you were an ocean away from him.

"I'll be there in a minute, Pieck."

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