#Angstober2023

[pellucid-constellations]

Angstober 🎃

Prompt: "What's Wrong"

A/n: Hi surprise! I've decided to do some drabbles for angstober!! They won't be every day and it will be very informal, but I feel like this is a great opportunity for writing! I'll be making a masterlist for these drabbles soon. Enjoy!! :)

~~~

“What’s wrong?” 

His voice was broken, anguished. You were sure you’d never heard the tone before, the way the words cracked over each other and crumbled into a rasp. 

Nothing was wrong. Nothing felt wrong. 

“Please, what’s wrong?” he tried again, and somehow those words hit you harder than the first time. 

Nothing was wrong. Nothing hurt. But—you thought, as words refused to pass the parting of your lips—nothing was right either. You were stuck, immovable. You felt hands on your face, and there was still the ache that blossomed in your chest as Bucky’s voice echoed there, but there was nothing else. You couldn’t move.

You couldn’t move. 

“Baby, come on.” The hands on your face were moving in untraceable patterns, rushed and illogical. “Come on. Come on, please.” 

How did you get here? There wasn’t a clear path. You’d been alone, there had been darkness, and then there was this strange, stagnant air that refused to leave you. You’d been alone for such a long time. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you. We found you, baby. We finally fucking found you. Please snap out of this. Tell me how to help you.” 

You weren’t sure if this unbearable pain invading your lungs would be livable long term. You weren’t sure how to follow Bucky’s request. You were seeing him but you weren’t. He was talking to you but he was really talking to a brick wall. 

There was another light in the room, a door opening and more footsteps echoing in whatever chamber you had found yourself in. How long had that door been closed? Days? Weeks? Bucky would tell you if you had the capability to ask. 

“I love you so fucking much. Please. Please.” 

“Barnes, we can’t take her like that.” 

The deeper voice was alarming—recognizable but distant in your memory. You preferred the gentleness of Bucky’s tone. 

“To hell with whatever Shield expects me to do here,” Bucky seethed, eyes never leaving you. “We’ve been looking for her for over a year. You really expect me to leave my girl hooked up to this thing?” 

“She’s gone, Sergeant. No life signs reported on the scan. No activity.” 

That wasn’t true. You were hearing everything. Some part of your consciousness was still here. 

“Her heart’s beating. She’s there. Get someone. Help her,” Bucky demanded, the breath from his words on the skin of your face. He was so close and you could do nothing about it. 

“That’s all she has left. Hydra’s had her hooked up to this machine for months with no brain activity other than what they’ve created. We can’t bring her back to the tower, Barnes. She’s already gone.” 

A cry—no, a sob—reverberated against the stone walls.

No. No. You weren’t gone. You were screaming at them but no sounds were escaping you. You were here, you could feel Bucky’s lips as they trembled and pressed to your temple. What scan were they reading? It was wrong. 

“No,” Bucky denied with thick, heavy words. “No, Fury, you can’t say that. You don’t get to say that to me. I’ve made her my top priority since the moment she went missing and it’s been like pulling teeth getting help. I finally get someone to pay attention to me and you give up? No.” 

You were being compressed now. Bucky was wrapping himself around you, coveting you as if you were a possession he needed to protect. You wondered if it was due to the finality in Fury’s tone—if there was something you were missing. Something you couldn’t see.

“Barnes, there’s nothing we can do. She’d be a danger if we got her out of here.” 

Another kiss was pressed to your skin, damp this time, tears soaking into your cheek. They weren’t yours. You weren’t sure if you could cry anymore. 

“I’m not giving up on you,” Bucky whispered against your ear. More footsteps entered the room. “You’re gone, so am I.”

So much noise. 

The small, echoing chamber erupted into a cacophony of uninterpretable noises. 

And you couldn’t see, but something was wrong now. You would tell Bucky as soon as you woke up. 

[angstober]

Welcome to another year of Angstober! We're delighted to unveil the prompts for this year of angsty, spooky fun.

What is Angstober?

Angstober is a yearly October challenge with 31 angst-themed prompts to inspire you to create. The challenge is open to all sorts of creative work - writing, art, edits, whatever you want - in whatever medium you want. Original work or fanworks? Whatever you feel inspired for!

How do I take part?

Tag your works with #angstober2023 and the day of the prompt (e.g., #day 01) to share on tumblr. Feel free to @ us directly in the post as well! To share your work on AO3, add it to the Angstober 2023 collection.

You can post your works whenever - early or late - and use as many or as few prompts as you feel inspired for! We'll do our best to reblog as many works to the @angstober blog as we can.

Is there a banner to post my work with?

Absolutely!

Anything else?

Nope. Happy Angsting!

Angstober 2023 Prompt List:

Honorbound

Anxiety

A Dangerous Gamble

"I want to believe you."

Dried and Cracked

"What's wrong?"

Attacked

Dark Days

The Catch

Can't Go Home

Beyond Recognition

On Your Own

From Childhood

What You Swore To Destroy

Lessons in Failure

Wake Up Call

Weakness

"But I love you."

Look Away

Just Breathe

Can't Save Everyone

Grasp

Crimes of Passion

Taught You Better

Tired of Fighting

The Day I Lost You

System Collapse

Face the Consequences

Almost

Full Circle

Won't Forget

[possibility221]

Angstober 2023, Oct. 16 prompt: Wake Up Call

Some fav wake ups

Elementary episodes: 3x09, 3x14, 7x05

[221beloved]

Anxiety

The cab ride home was silent, neither of them said a word. Back at 221B, Sherlock sat in his chair, while John busied himself in the kitchen. Some moments later, he fell down in his own chair across from Sherlock, sipping his tea. “So...” he said, eventually breaking the silence. “You didn't seem very frightened. Earlier, looking directly into the barrel of a weapon.” It wasn't phrased as a question, but Sherlock knew what John was referring to, and he was too tired to start arguing with him. “No,” he just said instead. This evening, they had chased a suspect through the streets of London, running through small alleyways and climbing over walls. Sherlock had been some steps in front of John, and when he'd approached the suspect, he was facing a gun, aiming at his brow. For a moment nothing had happened, then John had arrived, grasped the situation and tackled the man to the floor, all within a few seconds. He'd looked horrified, far more dishevelled than Sherlock, but they were both fine.

“No anxiety? No... I don't know, fear?” John pressed, but Sherlock simply shook his head. “But you were facing death!” John blurted out. Sherlock looked at him with a blank expression. “You're not afraid of death, are you?” John asked, his exasperated tone morphing into real interest. Sherlock shook his head. “What are you afraid of, then?” he asked, and Sherlock frowned. 'Of you,' the answer floated through his mind. 'Of the amount of love I'm capable to feel. I'm afraid to let it show, afraid to lay me bare. I'm afraid of loosing you, afraid of being left behind. I'm afraid of you, finding someone else. Every time you're on a date, I'm scared. You're frightening. I'm scared of you leaving, I'm scared of you staying. I'm afraid of myself...' He blinked at John, taken aback from the unexpected question. “I...” he started. “Well, I think what scares me most, is the abyss of the human soul. That's the only thing you should really be afraid of..." Now it was Johns turn to frown at him. “Is this so?” he asked, but more to fill the silence, to cover his utter surprise. Sherlock shrugged. John looked at him for a moment, as if he was not sure whether he could believe him or not, but then he nodded and excused himself for the night. 'I'm afraid, John,' Sherlock thought. 'And I don't know what to do...'

Well, another day, another prompt

Just tagging along...

Tell me about your tag - preferences

@angstober

@holmesianlove @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @topsyturvy-turtely @safedistancefrombeingsmart @blogstandbygo @thatswhyhestays @7-percent

[myevilmouse]

“Ben won’t come out of his room,” Mara said. 

Her tone was, to Luke’s hearing, deliberately even, nothing to read into the words except stark fact.

“I shouldn’t have let him go on the mission, that’s what you mean?”

“Not what I said.”

“What you meant,” Luke repeated.

“It’s the Sith coven all over again,” Mara said.  “Sometimes I wish Ben hadn’t inherited your reckless optimism.  We can’t save everyone; he should know that by now.”

“That’s a hard lesson to learn,” Luke admitted.  “Even for me.”

“But a necessary one,” Mara retorted.  “Now go teach your son, Master Skywalker.”

This drabble is sort of a sequel or cousin to three from my #yearofluke2023 drabble series, for April and May and June, which Mara refers to here.

[areyouokaypanda]

@angstober Day 5: Dried and Cracked

[fergusandmarsali]

Counting Down by @fergusandmarsali

"Ian said he wants to talk. After school." "About what?" "He did not say." And that was the problem, wasn't it? The words had been said in passing, a fleeting moment between the carefully orchestrated breakfast rush and ritual boarding of the school bus, and yet they were all Fergus could think about. - OR - Fergus struggles to navigate life at Lallybroch without Jamie and Claire. Modern Day AU.

Now available on AO3

Written for @angstober 2023: Anxiety

[eddysocs]

Honorbound (Cirilla Of Cintra x OC)

Summary: Nilenna loses her cool with Ciri and must mend fences if she’s to perform her duty.

Word Count: 259

Warnings: Angst

Gif made by @valiantwerewolfluminary

"Do you think I want this job? Do you think I asked for it? Leading some poor little princess around is hardly my idea of a good time. It’s my duty and it’s how I survive." The words were flung with such venom and rage that spittle fell from Nilenna's mouth as she spoke them.

"I—" Ciri began, already fighting to suppress the crack in her voice that she could feel was coming. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked down at the dirt where she stood, "didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry for being such a burden to you."

The genuine hurt in Ciri's eyes wounded Nilenna in return, and she stepped backward, no longer able to meet Ciri's green eyed gaze. She’d been too harsh. Had she truly even meant all she said? Perhaps it had been true in part, but a burden was something Ciri simply was not.

Nilenna came to rest on the other side of their shared quarters for the night, keeping her distance. Ciri could run off in the night after what she’d just heard. Hell, Nilenna wouldn’t even blame her. But she couldn’t let that happen.

"You’re not a burden, Cirilla." All the hardness in her tone was gone, replaced by her sorrowful admission as it permeated the tense air between them. She needed Ciri to trust her, to feel safe with her while she got her to where she needed to be. Fuck her feelings, ill or otherwise. She had a duty, and she would fulfill it.

Forever Tag: @arrthurpendragon, @baubeautyandthegeek, @foxesandmagic, @carmens-garden, @bossyladies, @getawaycardotmp3, @misshiraethsworld, @kmc1989, @curious-kittens-ocs

Nilenna Of Verden: @anniesocsandgeneralstore

[masterofrecords]

Angstober day 27: System Collapse

I probably spent way too much time making sure my sandhi were accurate in this one. Hooray to the one semester of Sanskrit I'd once taken - never thought it would come in useful.

The Flame of the Countless Deaths

The connection between the leylines is tentative, volatile. Hard as he tries, Kalidasa cannot fully feel the other locations, but it’s better than nothing.

Breathe in, breathe out. His heart beats in sync with the weak, dying magic of the world.

He is about to cease to exist. He is everywhere.

Keeping track of time is hard. There is no time where his mind is, and yet the time is everything now. Sounds of fighting reach him, and he isn’t sure if it is his brothers and sisters fighting at the Mrtyunamjvalah temple below, or if it’s echoes reaching him from across the world, the last cries seeping in through the unstable network.

It hardly matters.

The first seals are barely beginning to settle when the first interruption rocks the leyline.

Kalidasa frowns, breathing steady as he tries to pull closer, figure out where the disruption is coming from. One of the second seals comes with a delay, and with it, Qiao Xiu’s unusually terse voice in Kalidasa’s head, “Got off schedule, but we’re fine.”

And it is fine. The seals should be done simultaneously for them to be stable, but on the cosmic scale, some minutes are a minor issue. The disturbance caused by whatever happened on Qiao Xiu’s end dies down as the rituals continue, and Kalidasa keeps hoping. “Take care,” he replies, and listens to the silence once more.

Time passes through him. More hours, more seals, more fighting seemingly everywhere. The powers that don’t want their divinity sealed off are not going to let it go smoothly – those running the rituals were prepared for it, each group made precautions for it.

Some hid the sites, some set up traps, some placed guards. Below Kalidasa, surrounding the circle where the ritual is taking place, are the monks that do not expect to make it to sundown.

Kalidasa wonders – no, hopes that it will be enough.

After four seals have taken root, things go downhill.

“Hoards of demons,” Zamani’s voice follows the tidal wave of unstable magic. “We’ll try to get back on track.”

He isn’t sure why they report to him. There is nothing he can do, he cannot even send the word out without breaking his connection to the leyline. Perhaps, Kalidasa muses, they just want him not to worry, aware that he’s watching over them.

“Do your best,” is all he can think of replying.

Perhaps there is some comfort they gain from knowing he’s still there, for however much longer it might be.

To his sorrow, the leylines do not have the time to stabilize before the next big interruptions. With each seal, it seems, the price of mistakes becomes greater. “Man down. Will try to finish with eleven.”

The few words of comfort Kalidasa can give don’t seem at all sufficient.

He utters them anyway and watches in dismay as the perturbations grow stronger and stronger, no longer needing their missteps to feed themselves. Something is bound to crack, Kalidasa worries, but the fighting seems to have stopped for the most part.

The air is thick with death, and Kalidasa keeps repeating the same prayers for departed souls over and over again. It is all he can do.

Most have completed eight seals when another shock makes Kalidasa jerk, almost throwing him out of his trance. Something goes wrong, somewhere above and on the inside, and Kalidasa isn’t sure where it is in the real world, but he watches helplessly as the connection to one of the leylines breaks, sending ripples through the entire network.

He hadn’t realized before that there is noise in his ears, but it’s growing more and more uncomfortable to the point where he cannot easily ignore it. It is so loud that he almost misses the voice reaching for him through the void.

He barely recognizes Remi.

“I’m sorry,” is all he hears, and perhaps there was more to the message, but it’s gone, dissolved in static as waves of uncertainty wash over the leylines.

Four more seals to go.

The cut off leyline returns slowly, and he knows it’s Remi’s group giving it one more try, no matter how desperate the situation looks on their side. The rituals continue, exhaustion bleeding to Kalidasa instead of finesse as the hours of work take toll on everyone.

The rituals finish in an unsteady cacophony, a rough patch rather than neat embroidery on the fabric between the planes. Kalidasa feels each backlash and winces, knowing they mean more deaths he will probably never learn about.

His magic feels weaker and weaker as more leylines are cut off, but it’s not fully gone. The seals are still fluid, like unfinished stitches, but Kalidasa holds on to hope.

It’s the only thing he can do.

The people of Mrtyunamjvalah leave, knowing better than to disturb him. His own skin feels frayed, and Kalidasa wonders what is happening outside, but dares not open his eyes.

There is still time. There is still hope.

Whatever the outcome, he will be there to witness it.

[walker-extended-universe]

Worst Case Scenario

Relationship(s): Cordell Walker & Liam Walker, August Walker & Cordell Walker, Liam Walker & Stella Walker, August Walker & Cordell Walker & Liam Walker & Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Kidnapping, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Hospitalization, Recovery, Brain Damage, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Heavy Angst, Protective Liam Walker, Other Tags May Be Added

Summary: In which the kids were taken by Grey Flag too and the consequences are devastating for the whole family.

Written for @angstober Day 28- Face the Consequences

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

-------

Stella and August arrived at the meeting point. They were alone and they didn’t have the money and Stella was starting to regret letting August come along but it was too late now. She just had to hope Shannon would be agreeable and let her pay in installments. “Just stay behind me and don’t do anything stupid,” she muttered.

“I’m here with you; I’m already doing something stupid.”

Stella hit his arm to shut him up while they waited. She knew this was probably a bad idea. No, this was definitely a bad idea. But there wasn’t any other way to find their dad. She was just chasing down every lead, like her dad would. A small voice in the back of her head told her that following her dad’s example maybe wasn’t the best idea in this situation but what was she supposed to do? Just let this lead get away? Fat chance.

Shannon showed up late and she didn’t come alone. “You don’t look like you have a bag of cash on you….” she said, looking at them disapprovingly with her goons behind her.

“We wanted to verify your information first.” Stella hoped she sounded more coolheaded than she felt. “Where is our dad? Where did you see them take him?”

Shannon shrugged. “Somewhere in the industrial district a couple miles out of town. It’s not like I memorized the address. Now where’s my money?”

“You’ll get it once we know you’re telling the truth,” August said, subtly stepping forward so he was between them and Stella. “Why don’t we just give you a little to start and once we’ve verified, you get the rest?”

Shannon smirked. “Nah. That’s not how this works. I’m getting all my money, right now.”

Stella didn’t have time to wonder what that meant before she was grabbed from behind. “Hey!” she shouted, kicking back and trying to wriggle her way out of her assailant’s grip. But it was no use. There were too many of them and her hands and ankles were bound and she was unceremoniously tossed in the back of a van and August wasn’t far behind.

Before the doors closed, Stella saw a masked man hand Shannon a large bag of money. As the van sped away, she fell against the side of the van, hitting her head and falling unconscious.

—---------

Their captors were leaving them alone for now. Not that it made their situation any better but a day without torture was always a good day.

“Do you think they’re trying to mess with us?” Liam asked, his voice shaky. “They’re gonna torture us double tomorrow or something, right?”

“Thinking about it won’t help,” Cordell muttered. “Just enjoy the break while we have it, alright?”

Liam didn’t seem convinced but there wasn’t anything Cordell could do about that either.

The silence was broken by a cacophony of noise from the vent in the ceiling. After Julia had been taken away, it had been silent out there. It sounded like they were bringing someone else in. Cordell felt sorry for whatever poor soul had been dragged into this mess with them.

A shrill voice filtered down the vent. “-of shit! Where’s my brother?! What did you do to him?!”

Cordell’s blood turned to ice in his veins. He knew that voice. He shouldn’t be hearing that voice here. And, based on the look of horror on Liam’s face, he recognized it too. “Stella?” he called through the vent. “Stella, is that you?”

“DAD?!”

Shit . “Stella, what happened?”

“I- I don’t- It’s a long story. Is August with you?”

“No, but-”

“Fuck! They must’ve taken him somewhere else. I didn’t- They knocked us out when they- I haven’t seen him since-”

“Stella, Stels, it’s okay,” Cordell called back. “Just- Take a breath. He’s gotta be somewhere in here. But you need to keep your voice down. They can’t hear us talking like this, okay?”

“O-Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll get us out of here, I promise.”

He shouldn’t be making promises like that. Not with everything going on right now. But what else was he supposed to say to his daughter?

Liam grabbed his arm. “We’re going to be okay, Stella,” he said. “We’ll figure this out. Just- Just hold on for a bit.”

“Okay….” They heard her sniffle and Cordell shook his head to clear the image of his baby girl crying from his head.

He didn’t know how they were going to pull this off or how long it would take. But he was going to get his children out of here, come hell or high water. These bastards were going to pay for hurting his family.

—-------------

The worst torture out of everything they were put through, Liam thought, was that they had no idea what was being done to the kids.

The waterboarding was bad, sure. The electric shocks were no picnic. The mind games were traumatizing on a whole new level. But nothing scared him more than the fact that Stella and August could be facing something similar, or maybe even worse than what he and Cordell were contending with. Even with the vent, they couldn’t hear everything that was happening to Stella and he didn’t know if she would be honest with them if he asked. And they didn’t even know where August was being held.

“We have to do something,” he said to Cordell one night. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been there; he just knew it had been too long. “Who knows how much longer they’re going to wait for you to snap or whatever they want out of you?”

“You think I don’t know that?” his brother hissed. “There’s just- I don’t know what to do. We don’t know the layout of this place or how many guards there are. We don’t even have any weapons.”

Liam nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I know…. So we can’t take the fight to them. We need to bring it to us.”

Cordell furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

Liam hummed. “Do you remember that thing Thor and Loki did in that one movie? When they needed to distract the guards?”

His brother looked confused for a moment, then grinned as he remembered. “Never thought you’d be the Get Help type.”

Liam shrugged and chuckled. “Hey, it’s a good plan.”

It was a good plan. And one easily implemented a few days later after Liam had a particularly rough session. The guards took Cordell’s threat of suicide if Liam died very seriously and the brothers were able to catch them all off guard and disarm them. If Liam had the mental capacity for anything but relief in that moment, he might’ve been worried that it was all a little too easy.

Instead, he grabbed a gun and watched as Cordell pushed one of the guards against the bars of their cage. “Where’s my son?” he hissed, putting just enough pressure on the man’s trachea to encourage an answer.

“First floor, cell 5,” he wheezed.

Cordell let him fall to the ground and grabbed Liam’s arm, leading him away. “We’ll go upstairs and get Stella first, then we’ll find Augie.” Liam nodded and silently handed him one of the pistols he’d grabbed.

They stealthily made their way up the stairs to where they thought Stella’s cell was. Liam was a little unnerved by the lack of activity upstairs. Then again, maybe they just figured they didn’t need much security for someone as small as Stella. He wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

They found her room relatively quickly. Stella looked up when they opened the door and almost sobbed when she saw them. Liam tried not to think too hard about the state she was in. They had her now; that was the most important thing.

As soon as her cell door was open, she rushed over and practically jumped into Cordell’s arms, hugging him tight. “Thank God you’re okay,” she whispered. “I-I heard fighting and-”

“It’s okay,” Cordell murmured. “You’re okay. We’re okay. We just need to get your brother and then we’ll be out of here, alright?”

Stella let go of him just long enough to grab his hand and they left together. Liam followed them, quickly grabbing Stella’s other hand. They weren’t going to be separated anytime soon. “Where’s Augie?” Stella asked as they headed downstairs.

“They said he was in one of the cells on the first floor,” Cordell muttered. “We also need to keep an eye out for other prisoners. I know there’s at least one more, a woman named Julia.”

They stealthily made their way downstairs and found a hallway lined with small cells. Cordell starting looking into doors on the left side of the hallway, Liam took the right. He saw a woman in one of the doors and he used the key they’d swiped to open the door. “Julia?” he asked quietly.

The woman quickly turned around. “Who are you?”

“My name is Liam Walker. We’re getting out of here.”

“Liam, I found him!” Cordell called from further down the hall. Liam tossed the keys at him and he opened the door.

“I recognize that voice,” Julia murmured, pushing past Liam and into the hallway. He looked over her head to see August stumble out of his cell. He winced seeing the bruises on him but he tried not to think too hard about that. His nephew was alive and that’s what was important.

“Is this everyone?” Liam asked quietly as they headed down the hall.

Cordell nodded. “Should be,” he muttered, arm wrapped firmly around August, who Liam noticed swaying in his father’s hold. Liam wasn’t surprised given how small these calls were. Poor kid’s legs were probably asleep.

They kept moving until they reached a loading bay, and that was when the trouble started. Alarms were going off and they barely had a chance to hide behind some crates before there were armed men running all over the place. None of them dared to even breathe until the area was cleared out and they made their escape through the now-open garage doors.

“You go ahead,” Cordell said. “Get the kids to safety. I’ll be out in a second.”

“What? No!” Liam gripped his arm. “You promised. You have to come with us. This may be our only chance!”

“Liam,” Cordell pleaded. “I know what’s in those boxes. I’ve seen that symbol before; it’s bad news.” He gripped Liam’s arm just as tight. “I need to handle this and I need you to trust me. I. Will. Follow. You,” he promised.

Reluctantly, Liam nodded and let go. “Come on,” he said, taking Stella and August by the arm and running out with them.

Liam had never been more happy to see Larry James in his life than he was that day.

They were free. They were safe. They would be okay.

—-----------

It was over. They were out. Free. Arrests were being made all over the state and Mama was making a roast at home. All they had to do now was wait for the rangers to finish up the interviews and then they could go home.

Cordell stepped into the atrium where Stella and Liam Were already sitting silently. His heart broke seeing them. They looked so battered, broken even. August wasn’t out yet but he didn’t think his son looked much better. And it was all Cordell’s fault. Whatever he did to make these crazy bastards interested in him- that was why they were taken. That was why they were held captive, tortured, and worse. He was never going to be able to make this up to them but he was sure as hell going to try.

He smiled as best he could and made his way over to them. “Hey…” He slowly sat down in the free chair. “How are we feeling? Okay?”

“Yeah,” Liam said quietly. Stella didn’t answer, staring at her hands.

“Stel?”

“Better than I was in that cage,” she finally muttered, still not looking at him.

Cordell nodded. “Yeah. I think we’re all a little better now that we’re out. Once your brother is done we can go home and finally eat some real food. How does that sound?”

She shrugged. “Is he okay?”

“Uh- Yeah. Yeah, your brother’s fine,” Cordell assured her. “A little shaken, sure, we all are. But that’ll go away in time.”

She nodded silently, still looking at her hands.

Cordell looked at Liam, silently asking for help. He didn’t exactly expect Stella to be a ray of sunshine right now but this defeated silence was almost more than he could bear. He expected Stella to be angry at him, to blame him and refuse to look at him with more defiance in her eyes. He knew torture could change a person; lord knows he had experience with it. But thinking that this whole mess scarred her this much- He couldn’t think about it like that. He just knew there was something else wrong, some other reason for her odd behavior.

Liam just looked back at him.

He sighed. He was going to have to do this in his own bumbling way then. “Stel, honey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How did they get to you? When they took you. What happened? Did they grab you from the ranch or something?”

Stella avoided his gaze. “Is that important? I already talked about everything with Uncle Larry for the report.”

“Stel, I need to know what happened. Those people shouldn’t’ve been able to get to you.” The way she was avoiding his question made him nervous. What had happened? Was it just too hard to talk about? “Did something happen at the ranch? Or the Side Step?”

Stella shook her head. “No, no, nothing like that….”

“Then what happened?” Liam asked. “I know this is hard to talk about but we need to know how to help you heal.”

Stella still didn’t look either of them in the eyes; she focused her attention on picking at her nails instead. “.... It’s my fault.”

His heart dropped. He should’ve guessed she was blaming herself. She probably appointed herself as August’s guardian since she had nothing else to do to help. That just wouldn’t do; none of this was her fault. “Stella, that’s not true.”

She shook her head. “It is. I- You were both gone and I-I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing about it. I wanted to help so I came to ranger HQ and asked what I could do. Uncle Larry put me on the tip line and told me what to do. He gave me the script and told me how to register everything.” She swallowed hard. “I… I got a call from someone who said she’d seen where they took you but she wouldn’t say anything more than that until she got a reward. I was gonna tell someone but the other rangers were all off on a lead or something and… I panicked a little….”

Cordell really didn’t like where this was going. “Stella, did you agree to meet this person?”

She nodded, still not looking him in the eye.

“And you took your brother with you?”

“I didn’t want to,” she whispered. “I wasn’t even going to tell him. He just found out when I was looking for the money she asked for….”

Cordell put all his energy into gripping the edge of the table instead of flying off the handle at his daughter. “But you did take him along,” he said, trying to keep his voice as even and calm as possible.

“He wouldn’t let me go alone. I told him not to but he said he would tell Mawline if I didn’t bring him so… Yeah, I took him with me.”

“So… You both went to meet this person without telling anyone what you were doing and where you were going?”

She nodded.

Cordell was probably going to break the table soon with how hard he was gripping it. Didn’t she know how stupid that was, how dangerous? “And what happened then?”

“Well, we got to the meeting place and… And Shannon was there with a couple guys. I… We tried to just give her a little money and take her info to see if it was real but she didn’t take the deal. Then these guys showed up and shoved us in a van. I saw one of them hand her a bag of money…..”

“That must’ve been terrifying,” Liam said before Cordell could say anything. “You’re safe now though. Both of you. It’s going to be okay.” He reached across the table and squeezed Stella’s hand.

Cordell nodded. “Yeah. That’s all that matters. You’re both okay. And they probably would’ve found a way to get to you two regardless.” She didn’t have to be so stupid about it but at least this whole mess was behind them now and Stella learned a very important lesson the hard way. They just needed to go home, eat some real food, get some sleep, and things would look better in the morning.

Suddenly, Cassie came bursting into the atrium, practically running over to their little table. “Hey, uh, so… Cap wants me to take you guys to the hospital and run a few tests, make sure everythings a-ok. I know the EMTs cleared you guys but, yaknow, never hurts to be careful….”

Cordell was happy for the distraction from the current conversation but he wasn’t sure this was a better one to be having. “Okay, fine. Shouldn’t we wait for August to come out first?”

“Uh… Yeah, so….’bout that…” Cassie avoided his eyes. “We got his statement and everything and he got up to leave the room and just- He just started having a seizure. Emergency services are on the way….”

Cassie kept talking but Cordell couldn’t hear a word. Something bad had happened to August, something bad enough to put him in the hospital. And it only happened because these people chose to target Cordell. And also because Stella decided to abandon all reason and logic while he was gone. “Where is he?”

“You really should just wait until the professionals get here,” Cassie said, holding up a hand in front of his chest. “I’m not a doctor but I know you need to give a person space when they’re having an episode like that. Trey’s keeping an eye on him right now. Once the ambulance gets here, we’ll all go to the hospital, okay?”

Cordell nodded stiffly. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

He glanced back at Stella and Liam, who were still holding hands, and clenched his jaw.

So much for being okay in the morning….

—---------------

It felt like hours before they were able to talk to the doctor about August. While they waited, the whole family got a more extensive checkup (and some very nice pain medication prescriptions). They were fine, thankfully, aside from all the trauma. But Cordell didn’t have time to think about that.

He sat stiffly in his chair in the waiting room, glaring at the door that led to the rest of the hospital. The doctor would have to come through them eventually and tell him how his son was doing. Next to him sat Liam, in between him and Stella.

“He’s going to be okay,” his brother said, filling the stuffy silence. “August is stronger than we give him credit for.”

Neither Cordell nor Stella responded.

An eternity later, a doctor came in. “Family of August Walker?”

Cordell was up first, his brother and daughter on his heels. “How is he? What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be okay?” he asked.

“Mr. Walker, please slow down,” the doctor said. “August is stable at the moment, which is all we can ask for. As for how he’s doing….” He sighed. “I”m not sure what to tell you. We ran some tests and so far all we know is that he’s sustained some level of minor to moderate brain damage, likely from repeated heavy blows to the head, which is consistent with other injuries on his body. We won’t know the full extent of the damage until he wakes up, which will ideally happen within the next 48 hours.”

Brain damage echoed in his skull. “What- What do you think we’re looking at here?”

The doctor shrugged. “We won’t know for sure until he’s awake but it’s likely we’re looking at limited motor functions and possibly reduced cognitive abilities. We’ll do everything we can to help him recover and give your family the tools to cope but given his current state, I’d count your blessings that you still have a son.”

He nodded numbly while the doctor talked about possible treatments and therapies. He was sure they’d get all kinds of pamphlets and booklets once August was being discharged so he wasn’t too worried about listening at the moment.

August had brain damage. Whatever the severity may be, he was going to be changed forever. There was no cure, no fix, nothing but a bunch of long term treatments and management tools.

“Is Augie going to be okay?” Stella asked as the doctor walked away, tears in her voice.

In any other circumstance, he would’ve hurried to reassure her that things would be fine. That August would be okay. That their family would be whole again soon.

But he couldn’t. Not this time. Not after everything he heard today.

“How could he be okay?” Cordell snapped. “He’s hospitalized with a goddamn brain injury and probably a boatload of psychological trauma to boot!”

“Cordi….” Liam warned, but Cordell ignored him, stepping forward into Stella’s space. 

“This is all your fault! You should’ve known better than to go after that damn call in the first place! I know me and your mother raised you better than to go meeting shady people without telling anyone! And it’s your fault August got mixed up in all this! Look at him! He’s going to be in recovery for weeks because of your stupidity and even after that he’s going to be living with the consequences of your actions for the rest of his life! I mean, did you really think this would turn out better?!”

While he ranted and raved, Stella stood there silently, tears streaming down her face. Good .

“Cordi that’s enough.” Liam’s voice finally broke through his rage as his brother pushed him out of the room. “I get it, you're mad, and you have every right to be. But she’s feeling guilty enough as it is and you yelling at her isn’t going to make August any better.” He pushed Cordell toward the other side of the waiting room towards a set of doors leading into a common area. “Talk a walk and cool off. Don’t come back until you can act like a rational person.” Liam left him there and went back into the room. Through the little window in the door, Cordell could see Liam hug Stella and wipe away her tears.

Cordell turned on his heels and stormed down the hallway. He couldn’t look at either of them right now.

[lazinesswrites]

Prompt 10: “It’s alright, I’m here now.”

Fandom: Star Wars: The Bad Batch

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No archive warnings apply, near-death experience, starvation, open ending (it ends well in my mind though)

Excerpt: They should’ve brought Impact along, but they hadn’t expected to find anyone, alive or dead; hadn’t thought they’d need a medic, and so Rex hadn’t wanted to bring him away from the base, and the few wounded he’s treating there. “Shh, it’s alright, Crosshair,” Rex soothes when he sees Crosshair’s brow furrow just slightly. He must be at least somewhat conscious then. Enough to hear what’s happening around him, if not enough to understand or fully react to it. “It’s alright, I’m here now.”

[wardenred]

Angstober 1: Honorbound

Well, I've had my short break—let's start catching up on another month-long journey! I may or may not use the Angstober prompt to explore this new-ish plot bunny in multiple directions. We shall see.

Coming back home from the rain, I expect a tranquil evening with my nieces: dinner by the crackling fire, an hour or two playing chess with Alita afterward while Norra entertains us with run-on commentary on whatever book has captured her attention last. Instead, I am greeted by half of the manor’s stuff huddled in the entrance hall, pale-faced and wide-eyed.

The sight transports me right back to the big fire from a decade ago. Yet this time, no flames dance on the walls. Nobody’s dying.

Gods, I hope nobody is dying.

“What happened?” I ask, tugging off my gloves. Hopefully, whatever the problem is, magic can solve it. My skills are undeniably rusty, but stress has always been my best motivator. Especially if it affects the people under my care.

The servants look helplessly at me, at each other, at the floor that, now that I think of it, has been polished a little too well. I never thought it should be a necessity to see my reflection in the parquetry.

Finally, the butler steps forward. “My lord, there’s— Um, that is— Well—” I will my eyebrows to stay down. Khosh has always been the most eloquent person in this house. My father used to despise him for it. “You have a—a visitor.”

“In the library,” one of the maids blurts, and immediately covers her mouth with both hands.

I want to frown, to tell them they’re all acting ridiculous, to demand explanations. That’s what my father would do.

I am not my father.

I shrug off my wet cloak and hand it to Khosh when I pass him. “I shall see to it.” Whatever it is.

My footsteps echo on the slippery floor, and I grimace when I realize I’m trudging dirt over the impeccable surface. Outside, the rain intensifies, pounding against the windows like it wants to break in. Thunder rumbles in the distance. The last hour of sunlight we were supposed to get is clearly lost to the storm.

This is turning into a scene from one of those novels Norra especially loves to mock. The ones about destitute young ladies finding shelter in crumbling manors and experiencing the promptly falling in love with the cursed lord who harbors too many dark secrets.

But this is my manor. I am not cursed, nothing here is crumbling, and I certainly have no dark secrets that might threaten me.

Or so I believe, until I swing open the doors of the library and a man with the warmest brown eyes rises from my chair by the fireplace.

I stop in my tracks. My heart follows suit before it bursts into a frenzied gallop. I fear that he can hear it, that throbbing, painful beat in my ribcage.

For a long moment, we stare at each other. He’s smiling; I should, too, but the best I can hope for is keeping half my astonishment off my face. He shouldn’t be here. There is no logical reason for his presence. No ruler comes chasing the recluse that got away, not after ten long years. Moreover, in his own words, he never held that much regard for me.

A crack of lightning cuts open the gloomy sky outside. They say the sky's electricity has the power to reanimate the dead. Something about it certainly jolts my mind back into action.

“Your Majesty.” My back protests against the courtly bow—likely out of sheer spite. It’s been months since my injuries last bothered me, even in rainy weather. “I must confess the shock of your presence is nothing short of staggering.”

“It surprises me you’re surprised.” He takes a step closer. “You haven’t been responding to my letters. I had to come.”

The statement makes no sense. No matter my personal feelings, I always respond to any correspondence received from the capital and crown. I’m bitter, not suicidal.

“I’m afraid I genuinely don’t know what letters you speak of, Your Majesty.”

I search his face for signs of mistrust or anger, but he merely nods, pursing his lips tight. I notice that his golden hair is damp; he must have been caught in the rain, too. This should put us on equal footing, but I only grow more conscious of all the water dripping down from my soaked clothes.

“You haven’t received them, then. Things are worse than I thought.” The King’s eyes light up again. “Oh, well. We’ve always been good at tackling impossible challenges together, haven’t we, Rythan?” The distance between us shrinks when he takes another step; I fight the urge to flinch back. “I hope there are no pressing matters in your province, for I expect you to accompany me back to the court. We can take your girls with us if you wish, provided you’ve been passing your talents onto them.”

His order—for that’s what it is, regardless of his amiable tone—sinks in slowly. I want to refuse, of course. His very presence steers up the kind of emotions I viscerally detest. This province here needs me more than he ever did. His court is a vicious viper nest I should never like to set foot in again.

But he’s not just a shard of my past; he’s my king, and I am a lord of his kingdom, honorbound to serve in whatever capacity he determines.

I can’t fully swallow my pride, though. I’m entirely too out of practice.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I hope you’re going to give me a little more information than that, though.”

His smile is brighter than the next lightning flash. “Most certainly. Come. Let’s sit.” He gestures toward the fireplace, as if he were the master of this place and I a mere guest; the worst thing is, in so many ways that’s precisely the truth. “And stop acting like you’ve forgotten my given name.”

As if I could ever.

[possibility221]

Angstober 2023, Oct. 31 prompt: Won't Forget

Elementary episode: 5x24

[221beloved]

Full circle

A strange feeling of contentment came over him, as darkness spread around him. All this terrible noise was fading, the bright blue, blinking lights, as was the throbbing, nearly unbearable pain. Only peace and silence remained, a sense of calm, and he could feel his body kind of... relax. His mind was quiet in a way he barely knew, too. It was as if there was no need to think any more, no need to observe, to analyse, to connect things. The pain shooting through his entire body, the cold, his stiff limbs, the screaming and shouting, all this trouble around him, it all seemed like a distant memory now. It was fine. Nice, in fact.

For some time, he hovered in this... nothingness, as realisation hit him. He was dying. He was actually fading away. His body was giving up, giving in, his mind would come to a stop, no more thoughts, no more... impulses. There would be nothing. A whole lot of nothing. It was a promising outlook. Something to look forward to. The circle would finally close, would complete. With death, his life would be concluded. He was sure that he would have closed his eyes and smiled contentedly at this thought, if he were... more alive at the moment. But the satisfaction spreading inside was enough. Oh this was glorious. He loved it when things came to an end, to a conclusion. He was ready to let go, to just let go. To continue to float, or end even that.

“Sherlock, Sherlock!” The voice was prominent, cutting through the thick silence. Rude, to disturb his utter peace like that. “Sherlock, can you hear me?” Except that... the voice wasn't so disturbing at all. This was odd. Voices were disturbing all the time, even before his current... state. He tried to focus on it. “Sherlock, wake up! Come on... Don't leave me. Don't go where I can't follow.” Sherlock would like to frown. The voice sounded worried, utterly broken. How could that be. The voice, the owner of the voice, wanted him to stay. Wanted to stay with him, or to follow. Odd. Where there actually people who liked him? He didn't even like himself. But the voice, its owner, couldn't be with him right now, and maybe never again. And he, the owner of the voice, seemed genuinely disturbed by this thought. And: the voice was coming through to him, actually reached him in this state. He seemed to like the man as well. He could hear nothing else. At all. “Please Sherlock, wake up. Stay with me...”

John! The realisation exploded in his head, spread in his chest and pulsated through his body. Warmth and light spread with it and he could feel a tingling in his limbs. But with it, the cold returned, the mind-numbing noise, and the pain. There was so much pain, it numbed his mind that was currently trying to regain control. Was all this really worth it? Should he let his circle continue, remain open, let all this promised peace behind? All for John's plea?

No. The question didn't make any sense in itself. John was his circle, in a way. John was his circle, and whit John, this other circle, his 'own' circle needn't to be closed. It would always be complete, if John was there. He would hold on. Hold on to the the noise, the pain, the agony. It was worth it, to return to John.

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[myevilmouse]

“I never hurt her!” Ottlis scrambled backwards, seeking escape but only finding an unforgiving corner.  “Ask Arihnda!  All those weeks of combat training, no breaks, scrapes, or bruises!”

The blue alien smiled coldly, the look more threatening than the fiery glower that preceded it. 

“Not all injuries are external.”  His voice was matter-of-fact.

The man had first attacked with bare hands, but now a blaster appeared in his grip.

“And betrayal’s scars are lasting.”

The muzzle pointed, unwavering in Ottlis’ face.

“Don’t—”

Thrawn’s weapon sizzled, silencing Ottlis Dos forever.  The body wouldn’t be found.

That scum Ghadi was next.

[areyouokaypanda]

@angstober Day 24: Taught You Better