#And- I'm going to stop now because this is how I lull myself to sleep when I'm not feeling too hot

[writeraid]

Having a sleepover with Marc and Steven (honestly Jake too.) would at least aid in helping about 99.9% of my problems! If not fixing them outright!

[munsonsmixtapes]

Hii may I request a wade x reader fluff with both of them taking care of their newborn. I feel like there’s not a lot of dad!wade. I know it’s a broad topic but you can take it any direction. Thank you and your work is appreciated!

dad!wade x mom!reader

The crying of your baby girl had stirred both you and Wade from your sleep. She had been having a hard time sleeping since you brought her home so that meant you couldn't sleep either. Not that you would have been able to sleep either way. You were just so worried about Violet that Wade would often find you in her nursery, holding her in your arms while you sat in the rocking chair, the two of you fast asleep.

"I've got her," Wade told you, giving you a kiss to your forehead before he slipped out of the bed. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he made his way down the hall to Violet's room.

He slowly opened the door and made his way into the room, standing over the crib, feeling his heart ache as he watched his crying daughter. He didn't think he had your skill of getting her back to sleep, but he was at least going to try.

"Hey, sweet pea," he whispered as he scooped her up from the crib holding her to his chest as he tried his best to console her. He paced around the room as he hummed along to the song that you would sing to Violet almost every day before she was born.

It seemed to be working because the crying had come to a stop instantly. Maybe he did have the magic touch after all. He pulled her head away from his shoulder and could see that Violet was fast asleep just as he had thought. He couldn't help but smile to himself that he had done it alone and didn't need your help.

You stood in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb as you watched the whole scene play out before you. You didn't know whether it was because of how sleep deprived you were or because of how heart warming it was to watch your husband sing your daughter to sleep, dancing around as he did so, but you felt tears streaming down your cheeks.

"And I think to myself, what a wonderful w-" Wade cut himself off as he saw you standing there, trying to not be upset that you were awake. "What are you doing up?"

"I-I just wanted to make sure you were good."

"We're good, honey." He stepped closer and could see your tear-stained cheeks. He held Violet tight with one hand while the other reached up and wiped your cheeks. "What's with the tears?"

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to have both of you."

"We're the lucky ones," he told you before pressing his lips to yours. "Now go back to bed. I'm gonna put her back in her crib." He gave you one more kiss before he sent you on your way. He then slowly moved back to the crib and gently set Violet back down into it so he wouldn't wake her up.

Once he was sure that she wouldn't wake up, he watched her for a few more seconds before tiptoeing out of the room, shutting the door gently before he crept back into your room. He got under the covers and snuggled up to you, resting his chin in the crook of your neck as let your deep breaths lull him back to sleep as he thought about he was the lucky one for having as special as you.

[middlingmay]

Hello 😌 for the late night call prompt:

"i know you didn't just hang up on me without saying 'i love you'."

This could be so sweet (or not). Would love to see your take on it!

Hello! I'm feeling the fluff today, so I hope you like it. Thanks for the ask :) <3

John's mouth had served him both well and ill in his life.

He was funny and he was charming. He was able to spin a story and keep a table entertained. He could cheer someone up easy, diffuse arguments if he chose to. And because he could read people quick sharp, he could either make fast friends with a few choice words, or could provoke or end a fight depending on which of his more mercurial moods he was looking to feed that night.

But his favourite thing, he'd come to find over the years, was talking in a constant, rhythmic roll and lulling Gale, a notoriously poor sleeper, to a good night's sleep.

John wasn't even going to let state lines keep him from that privilege.

Work had sent him away for a couple of nights to deal with an issue and another officer. It's what he got with his reputation for being able to influence and mediate with the best of them. And of course, just two days before he was due to go, Gale fell sick. Not sick enough to warrant John calling it off; but just sick enough to worry and stress him all the way out because he wouldn't be here to take care of his Gale.

Gale who had no sympathy for his plight whatsoever.

"It's two days. I can take care of myself; I'm a big boy."

John leered without intent and moseyed into Gale's personal space. "Oh, I know."

Gale spluttered a dry cough into John's chest and struggled to get his breath back and John whined.

"Come on, Gale. Just say the word and I'll cancel. You won't have to lift a finger until you're better."

Gale pushed him off and tugged the cover he had draped around him like a cape in tighter. "No, thank you," he grimaced. "You'll hover, you'll get sick, then I'll be taking care of the two of us. Get to stepping, John. Quicker you get there, quicker you get back."

So they'd said goodbye, Gale tolerating John's too-many long looks back with barely a roll of his eyes (and John knew that was just because even his eyes were hurting). But he could kick him out the house and force him to go to work and make fun of him as much as he liked, but Gale couldn't stop John from calling him for their regular night time chatterbox sessions.

"I thought you were working," Gale drawled raspy into the phone.

"At nine pm? Not enough overtime pay in the world, sweets. How you feeling?"

Gale's answers were brief and perfunctory, but John could hear the ever-present affection even through the brevity. And John was always happy to pick up the slack. He murmured to Gale about the trip, the shit show at the office, and the gossip he entirely made up about his colleagues in another state just to keep himself entertained. He spoke about the town and the hotel, and what he had to eat. He told him every tiny detail he could think of, until he heard Gale's breaths even out and the soft snore of the congested drift across the line.

Chuckling low so as not to wake Gale, he finally hung up, proud of himself for being able to fulfil his duties even if he wasn't there in person.

But it only lasted a few seconds before his phone screen lit up, and Doll flashed across the screen. John swiped and lifted the phone to his ear to hear Gale's thick, sleepy reprimand.

"I know you didn't just hang up on me without saying I love you."

John grinned wide and dimpled and all teeth and gum at Gale's grumpy complaint. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. How rude."

"Mmph." Offended. Like a puffed up cat. John could practically see the displeased frown in the centre of Gale's brow.

"I love you. Now go to sleep."

"Mmph." Contented. Pleased. Maybe with that tiny little smile Gale had that pulled his apple cheeks up.

John stayed on the phone long past Gale's return to sleep. Just in case.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Drunk confession

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Crying, Sobbing, Drunk problems

Word Count: 2K

A/n: Wanted to write one only for Dazai but I couldn't help myself and now here we are :)

↳Osamu Dazai

It's two in the morning and Dazai can't sleep as always, filling these hours of loneliness with reading his manual of suicide over and over, waiting for the rays of the sun to peek through the curtains and set another day of his tedious life. Dazai is at his dorm alone and he scarcely has any guests over; which is why the articulate knocks on the door catches him off guard. He glances at the clock and approaches the door as possibilities cloud his mind. What's going on? Did something happened? Maybe the guild has attacked again? Or that rat Dostoevsky has made a move to play his schemes on Yokohama's ability users? Or...

When he opens the door, he expects Kunikida, Atsushi or perhaps a member of an enemy organization ready to kidnap him or pull the trigger right in front of his face; but behind the door It's just you, cheeks red from what he assumes is the effect of alcohol he can smell from ten miles away.

He stares at you, with a curious turning into calming look on his face before asking you to what does he own the honor of meeting you at this fine hour, but the answer he receives isn't verbal; it's a sudden attack of affection coming from a embrace taking his waist imprison. An embrace that was supposed to be tight but you're too zoned out to keep yourself on your feet let alone hugging the shit out of him.

"Y/n...?"

"Shhhhhhhhh~"

His heart can't stop slamming itself to his chest and he's almost happy that he doesn't have to hide his flustered face because you probably won't remember anything in the morning; but you're still hanging in his arms, face all grumpy and eyes half-lidded while not giving in to the comforting warmth of his embrace lulling you to sleep.

"Yooou bas...tard... ugh!"

It's ok. He has heard that from many people before, but you can't be here only to insult him and leave, right?

"Y/n? What-"

"Shut up! You annoying peace of work!"

He's wrong. That is the reason why you're here for.

...Partly.

"I'm here to... kick your ass! For all the trouble you've put me through!"

"Y/n stop shouting and calm down. What are you talking about?"

"You... You don't even know! You damned bastard! Stupid bandage wasting machine! You never let me get to work! I can't work with you! I'm... I'm quitting my job at the agency!"

Dazai doesn't get confused very often, so he's really impressed when he searches through his memories for any recall of him holding you back from your work, but he fails to find any.

"You still don't get it!?"

You want to punch, smash and kick the life out of him, but all you do is sinking into his chest more as you inhale his scent while whining with a whisper-liked tune.

"It's... I don't know either! It's just... Maybe your face! No... Not just that... I don't know... Maybe your hair too... Or the way you smirk when you mess with Kunikida... Or how you lie on the couch as you mumble the song playing in your headphones... Or... Or how you... How you... It's everything! Everything you do distracts me! And not even at work! It's like you're everywhere but not... everywhere at the same time... I don't know again... maybe... maybe I like you or something... ah... my head... hurts..."

When you finally lose conscious and fall asleep in his arms, Dazai holds you close to himself, hands lightly caressing your hair as he smiles at your fucked up state. He now has doubts if he wants you to forget, if he wants tonight to disappear in the shades of memories from the women he had spent some nights with no strings attached; but whatever he wants, he can't help but to smile at your pretty face and glassy eyes, and how you're so innocent yet such a loud-mouthed at the same time.

↳Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya has never been one to hold back from making a drunk mess out of himself, but when he sees you taking shots relentlessly, he knows he's the one to drive tonight.

Your face is hot but not enough to evaporate the tears that can't prevent themselves from falling on your cheeks, and you're not-so-quiet sobbing is kind of catching other people's attention but somehow Chuuya doesn't care, he just presses you against his chest harder and while not wanting to ever see you be upset like this, he wishes you would drink with him alone more often.

"I...hiccup* Can't take it hiccup* anymore..."

"Oh c'mon, you've been through worse y/n. Plus, we didn't have great losses. Accidents happen"

"Right! Says the most powerful ability user!"

Your grumpy expression makes him smile harder. Although it's wrong to hug your comrade like this, he still tugs you closer and lightly rubs your right cheek with his thumb, chuckling at your confusion.

"Huh! N-Now you're laughing at me!? You- You- You're supposed to help me out, Chuuya! I- If you're going to make of fun of me just leave!"

"Like I'm leaving you here when you're a crying mess! Did you forget your position? You're an assassin working for the mafia! Anyone wants you dead! Being alone here when you're vulnerable is another one of your shitty ideas! Besides, I will never leave you y/n, you already know that"

He's right. He has never left you even once on your own before.

No matter how many times you mess up on mission, how many times you get into trouble facing your higher ups or what time it is, day and night, Chuuya always comes to help you out. He's always been there, to be a shoulder for you to lean on when you're suffering from the pain, or to cheer you up after a long mission by bringing you your favorite snacks. He has always been there with you, in sadness and happiness.

Chuuya gets worried when he catches you staring at his chest silently, but the feeling disappears when your hands land on his cheeks.

"You're right... You've never left me alone..."

Words fade from his mind as you look into his eyes and then slowly lean closer, body still wobbly but determined to do this. He never expected you to make a move. He did wanted you, even though he could never drop a hint and he thought that maybe it was for the best if nothing ever happens, but now that you're this close to him, he can't think of anything negative let alone the problems this dangerous relationship might drag along with itself. He closes his eyes as your lips meet, wrapping his arms around your waist while tasting the bitter liquid left on your mouth, totally unfazed by the looks he knows you're earning right now.

Chuuya can always fight, but he rarely gets to kiss his bestfriend; so he might as well enjoy himself while he's at it, and maybe this won't be the last time he gets this close to you.

Only if you remember what happened in the morning, which Chuuya is gladly ready to remind you in case you forget, by capturing your lips in another kiss.

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"I'm... cold..."

Fyodor doesn't hug his subordinates, nor does he pat them or let them sit on his lap, so... You could say you were somewhat special.

He sighs as he lightly pats you on the back, wrapping his cloak around you while thinking of scolding you as soon as you regain consciousness, never letting you lay a finger on alcohol. While he's kind of pissed because he never thought you could get this clingy since you're so shy and decent around him, but this feeling... This comfortable warmth that radiates from your body... It's nice. Nice enough to help him look over the fact that you were lying about being cold only to stick yourself to him more and whine nonsense he doesn't understand but lowkey tries to.

"You shouldn't drink this much at work, y/n. It will make us more trouble and we already have a handful of that"

Fyodor doesn't expect a response, or a proper one to say at least; and he didn't get one, if a small sob filled with regret coming from you doesn't count.

He glances at you from the corner of his eye to make sure that you're not crying, then looks back at the monitor again with his attention completely pointed at you. You're upset about something he's not aware of; he doesn't poke his nose in other people's private lives unless they're dangerous or his target of course, but for once in his life, he wishes he had paid attention to you more. Why? He knows, but it's so wrong and he doesn't want to push himself to say it out loud, happy that no one has ever asked him too.

You're one interesting little Myshka.

"I want to be of use for you"

Your voice is quiet, more like a mumble; but lucky for you, Fyodor has sharp ears.

"Hmm? What was that, dear?"

Your stare is pointed at the floor, but your mind is wandering around another place. Fyodor feels you wrapping your arms around him a little bit harder and a short pause before you speak up again, your voice a bit louder than before but would still count as mumbling.

"I... want to help you achieve your goals, sir. I don't want to be a burden to you. I want to be useful, even though the result might not really be something I would exactly like"

Fyodor knows everything. All the turns and twists of your little mind, all the intentions you have behind your little gestures, all the thoughts you smother behind your scrunched up face; but that doesn't mean he wouldn't like to hear you actually say it every now and then.

"Why? Why do you want to help me achieve something you're not looking forward to, Myshka?"

Myshka, a cute nickname Fyodor calls you with, which is kind of normal since you're a rat working under his watch; but you're the only one who gets to be called that. None of his other subordinates are called anything special. Just you. The tiny pathetic Myshka he likes more than his other subordinates. Why? No one knows, but no one really cares either.

Except for you.

I... I think that... I enjoy to see that you're relieved... And that you can... finally take a break...

Because you have nice goals and they make the world a better place...

Because... Because... I...

"Because I would like to see you smile, sir"

Fyodors coherent taps on the keyboard stops and you gain his attention again, only this time he doesn't try to hide his glance; he tilts his head and looks at you straightforwardly.

Of course you hide your face in the crook of his neck, and of course that makes his heart a tiny bit clench.

"Like... Not out of... I don't know... Mischief or anything... A relieved smile... A victorious one maybe?... Not one of those smiles you wear when you are bargaining with someone..."

"I understand what you mean, dear"

His voice is not enthusiastic but softer than before, with a hint of gentleness inside. It makes your figure looser on his lap, giving him access to do what he wants with you, as if he couldn't already.

And suddenly something unexpected happens. He plants a kiss on your shoulder, making you shiver and glue your chest to him harder than before.

"I too, would like to see you smile dear"

And I would like to have you by my side when that time comes.

All rights reserved © 2022 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

[first-edition]

Fox and the Hound

Chapter 11

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more. 

Cw for chapter- talk of previous forced marriage, mention of death, description of blood and gore, description of prostitution, mention or beating, 18+ words and themes overall. Slight angst.

Slightly prof read sorry for any errors

Read previous chapter here

You sit your back against Sandors chest as  he steers the horse you both sit on. You're wrapped in his cloak keeping you warm, the sun peeking up over the mountains, the first light of day breaking as you see the smoke from the burning ships in Kings landing behind you. 

Sandor keeps a firm arm around your waist holding the horse's reins with the other. 

“I know where we can go.” you say. 

“Mm.” he grunts. 

“Home..my home.” you say 

“Volantis? You want to go east.” he says. You nod. 

“Hm” he responds lightly, turning the horse. 

“Where are you going?” you ask. 

“South…There's a merchant ship yard where you'll be able to get on a boat and then take a carriage. The next merchant ship yard is miles off so we'll be riding for a while but we should get there before dark.” he says.

“You're coming with me sandor.” you speak it as more of a demand than a request. 

“I'm not.” he replies. 

“You are.” you fight back. 

“Not.” 

“Yes.” “No.”

“Sandor clegane as your wife, mother of your child, and princess of the very place WE are headed for, I'm ordering you to join me.” you snap. He stops the horse and looks down to you. Before looking back up and continuing the horse forward. A small victorious smile hits your face. 

“Volantis it is.. I guess.” he says you rest your head against his chest in peace, his arm around your waist tightens a bit pulling you closer to him. 

“What do you think will happen to king's landing?” You ask. He scoffs at your question giving no fucks to whats to happen to the place. 

“If Stannis has taken it he’ll be putting a bounty on everyone who flead, me, you servant, commoners. And if not there will still be bounty and the lannisters will still be a bag of cunts.” he says gruffly. 

“When they killed my brother…they sent his head to my family with a note that I was to be married to you or the fate my brother withstood would soon be mine…” you trial off. Sandor can feel a slight pain in his heart as you speak about the forced marriage you two had shared how much he felt like he didn't want you, how he thought you were another stuck up useless little princess how badly he treated you and yet you still stood at that alter and kissed him and even invited him into your bed…but it was out of fear..isn't it?” 

“Do you remember when we wed?” you ask placing your hand over his that rests on your stomach. 

“Yes.” he says coldly, mostly afraid of the awful things you are going to say about it. 

“I remember how nice you looked. That the armory had made you the golden armor and seamstress had sewn a new cloak, were you comfortable?” you ask. Sandor knits his eyebrows together in confusion. 

“No.” he answers anyway. 

“Me either the dress cersi chose for me was corseted to hell, and itchy but…looking back on it i don't think i was scared…I want to tell myself that only married you so my head wouldn't be sent to my mother and father but i can't. I know now that I married you because the gods willed me to love you, I was never afraid of you like everyone else and  becoming yours was the best thing that has happened to me in a while.” you say looking up at him.

He leans down to you pressing a kiss to your lips before you sit back against him and continue the ride twords the merchant shipyard. You hum the song your mother would always sing to you to help you sleep and eventually you find yourself drifting to sleep as the swaying of the horse and the steady sound of Sandors beating heart lulls you to drift, it helps that you'd been awake all night fearing for you life. 

—-----

You wake up to hear the same humming you fell asleep to, too sandors humming the song now having got it stuck in his head after hearing it three times before you fell under the sandman's curse. 

The sun is high in the sky now most likely around 1 pm but it's slightly cast out but the snowing clouds. 

“How far are we?” you ask, looking around tiredly rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. 

“We'll be passing the harvest hall in a moment.” he says as the forest path opens to a clearing, seeing the small town full of people and sellers. 

“We have to pass through prince’s pass and get on the ships at sun spear if we want to arrive in volantis by the day after tomorrow.” he says 

“Sun spear? Dornish country.” you say. Sandor nods. 

A crowd of people passing to the square of the town stops the horse. They all yell about some foreign scum throwing someone into the frozen mud. 

“What's going on?” you ask.

“Does Not concern us.'' Sandor grunts as he heels the horse to move but it doesn't as there's too many people blocking the way out. 

“A SQUIRE FROM KINGS LANDING WAS FOUND IN MY BARN!” a man yells at you frowning in confusion. A break in the crowd allows you to see the accused. Joss. 

“S-sandor, that's joss.” you speak out. 

“So..” he says. 

“Let me down," you say, pulling away from him. 

“y/n no. the villagers will have their way with him.” he speaks. 

“He’s just a boy!” you exclaim. Holding onto the horse as you try to get down off the large clydesdale. 

“Fuck me…wait.” he says and easily hops off the horse before holding onto you lifting you up and off steadying you on the ground. You pick up your dress before running through the crowd. 

“Damn! Y/N!” Sandor yells running after you shoving people out of the way to get to you. 

“S-Stop! Stop!” you yell out as a man kicks joss. 

“Oh looky here a little lady has come to play.” He says. 

“Please stop, that's my husband's squire.” you say. 

“This little shit was hiding in my barn bringing his shame with him when the Lannister found him here they’ll have all our heads!” the farmer yells. 

“Th-the lannisters?” you ask. 

“Yeah pretty girl they won, tywin took them out!” he yells and everyone cheers. 

“Please just.. Let him go. I have money and as long as he's safe.” you plead. 

“You a Lannister bitch?!” he asks. 

“No..i-” you're about to clarify. 

“Y/n!” Sandor calls you entering the middle clearing. 

The man turns to sandor giving you a chance to hurry to joss wrapping your cape around him keeping him as warm as you can. 

“You're sandor clegane.” the man speaks then turns his attention to you helping joss to his feet. 

“Give us the quire and we’ll be on our way.” Sandor speaks with his hand resting on the handle of his sword. 

“The queen wants your head clegane the money I’d get for that is worth more than a scrawny squire.” the man speaks. 

“What do they call you?” Sandor asks. 

“Byran.” the man answers. 

“You're not getting my head bryan but ill be getting yours if you don't step aside.” Sandor huffs. Bryan chuckles, putting his hands on his hips puffing out his chest. 

“You can have your squire, for a price.” he speaks again, glaring at your husband. Sandor grumbles in annoyance. 

“Her, your traveling wench. Just a night with that pretty little thing.” Bryan speaks pointing towards you.

Sandor looks at you as you stand with joss as he fetched the horse and is now holding onto the reins for you. 

“She’s not for sale.” Sandor speaks gruffly as he turns back to face the man who just chuckles and shakes his head.

“20 minutes then. I’ll easily go through you to get that tight little cunt wrapped around my cock.” Bryan asks stupidly speaking once more.

Sandor sighs and steps up closer to the man would just hold his ground standing straight regardless of your large intimidating husband towering over him.

“You touch her and I’ll hang you from that tavern overhang with a noose made out of your own guts.” Sandor speaks sternly. The man just laughs, turning his head away before he opens his mouth to speak again but is cut off by sandor.

“You think I’m joking?” Sandor replies but before he gives the man a chance to speak he punches him square in the jaw, his armored glove cutting into the man’s jaw slicing gashes into the man’s skin. The man falls into the mud gasping and coughing in pain as his broken, bloody jaw hangs loosely. Bryan writhes in pain on the ground. 

“Come on.” Sandor says to you as he walks twords you. 

“Get on I'll walk.” he speaks to joss who nods and lifts himself up onto the horse. Sandor  lifts you up and onto the horse before taking the reins to lead you both. 

“Sandor.” you speak looking down to him as you pass through the dissipating crowd. 

“Thank you.” you say. He only grunts compliance making you smile.

NEXT CHAPTER HERE

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[sunshine-scented]

Hehe Hello hello Can i request Wukong, Macaque and Mk ( platonic on Mk one, because Wanna make Reader being a mother to him )

A goddess Reader that's well Tf so gorgeous so handsome they can cook they can do anything so basically How they Thought and say like " Hm? Oh reader yeah i know him they blablabla " On reader just wanna seee i might love this one

Olso have a great day luv your Work And take a rest and drink a lot of water

- ✨ Yuzex ✨

Cute~ I've definitely heard about these type of concepts before, I'm glad I get to make one of them!

❀ Tell me more, don't be shy ❀

: Them talking about their s/o when asked, voice lines hc!

: Sun Wukong, Macaque, MK(platonic) x reader

: Fluff!!

Sun Wukong

About (Name); showing off

"You've met (Name) already? I mean, that's great and all but I was the first one to meet them so hah! What do you mean that it doesn't matter? Uh, duh? It's (Name)?? The best person you will ever meet in your entire life until you die???? Keep up bud"

About (Name); hidden secret

"Wh...what are you doing touching me like that? Huh? (Name) told you I liked scratches on my fur? Wha— ughhh, I told them to keep it a secrettt...whatever, you're not allowed to touch me, only (Name) is allowed in that, hmph"

About (Name); Adoring

"If there's one thing I absolute adore about (Name) that isn't them existing, it's them in general. No really, I mean it. I love how they make me feel better by just talking to me about the weather, I love how easy it is to be myself with them. I just love them so much you know? It's hard to explain but basically, if they were to disappear in this world, then I would flatten mountains, empty oceans, and flip the world upside down until I get them back into my arms."

About (Name); Facts

"Did you know (Name) liked that color in their shirts? I always see them wear those kind of clothes with that style. Oh! Those birds over there yeah? They think they're cute and often stare at them when they're zoning out. And that one over there? That's their favorite place to eat. Also— MPHH?! Ack- why did you cover my mouth all of the sudden?! Yeesh, have some respect, anyways, did you know that (Name) really liked those kind of shoes—"

Six eared Macaque

About (Name); first impressions

"To be completely honest, I didn't think I'd like them as much as I do now. I thought that they were just some ordinary being not worth my time, yet when they talked to me over and over again, suddenly, I felt rather...lonely whenever they're gone. Heh, how annoying of them♡"

About (Name); soft spots

"...You won't leave me alone until I tell you more about (Name) huh? You're lucky I like talking about them so much. However, if I did try talking about them more we'd be here until I decide to stop holding grudges..Huh? I'm going soft? You seriously just realized?"

About (Name); voice

"(Name) once told me that they found my voice soothing to listen to. I'll admit, it took me by surprise the first time they mentioned it, yet that boldness they showed at that moment was attractive of them. Telling me something I never knew people liked about me? And told by the one person you'd kill a whole nation for? Sends shivers down my spine"

About (Name); Sleep

"Knowing me, I never got a lot of sleep. And even if I did it's probably somewhere about 4 hours and then boom, a nightmare to haunt my life until I die. Twice. As cliche as it sounds, I sleep better when (Name) is with me. Something about their arms sharing their warmth into mine never fails to lull me to sleep. Perhaps it's also the fact that they sometimes hum small melodies or run their hands onto my hair to sooth me from whatever's on my mind. It's now mandatory that they stay with me everytime I'm going to sleep, hopefully they don't mind~"

MK

About (Name); excitement

"Huh?! You know about (Name)?!?! That's so cool! (Name)'s so cool!!!! They're so nice and caring and amazing and caring and nice and caring you know? I want to grow up to be just as nice and caring and amazing and caring and caring and nice as them!"

About (Name); injuries

"Look! I'm a mummy! Hehehe I'm not actually one, it's just that I got into this hugee battle with a demon and the aftermath got me all these scars and bruises. (Name) was not happy, gosh, the look on their face when they wrapped bandages on my body while they gave me a whole hour long lecture was so..*shiver* remind me to take better care of myself please"

About (Name); snacks

"My bag is a little bit heavier than usual, maybe it's because of the multiple snacks (Name) keeps inside it. I mean, I'm not complaining, I like the snacks they give me. But a hero's gotta have agility too you know! How am I gonna heroically jump on buildings and beat demons with a heavy bag of super delicious extremely amazing and over the top golden snacks that (Name) gives me?"

About (Name); Lessons

"I think (Name) saw how stressed I am with this whole hero thing, first it was DBK, then spider queen, LDB and now this Asare Leon guy or whatever his name was. It's like I can't keep anything from them. Yet, they still treated me gently and talked to me about how everything happens for a reason, I'm living this life because I'm strong enough to live it. Honestly, I'm glad they told me this, if it weren't for them, I would have been eaten alive by some stinky demon, ewww"

I'm trying so hard not to make another Nezha fic it's literally mental torture

[shadowuponstorm]

Please Let Me In

After Jean's death shook him to his core, Scott thought he wasn't going to find anyone else who would make him feel the way Jean did. Then Reader proves him wrong when she shows him how much she cares about him and how much love she has for him.

"Guys, what happened? What's going on?" I asked over the intercom in my ear as the kids and I stayed safe at the mansion.

"Jean is gone," I hear Storm's voice come over, making me almost fall to the floor in shock, "She sacrificed herself to save us."

"Oh my god," I muttered as I covered my mouth to stop a sob from escaping my throat so it wouldn't alert the kids, "Is Scott safe?"

"He's on the jet with us, sobbing in Logan's arms," Storm replies as I sighed and asked her if they were on their way back, "No, we're on our way to Washington, but we'll be back soon."

"Okay, stay safe," I said as I heard the com turn off and I hear one of the kids ask from behind me if they got the others.

"Yes, sorry, they got them," I respond with a crack in my voice before clearing my throat, "They should be back soon."

"Miss L/N, are you alright?" Another kid asked before I felt my barrier fall and tears started streaming down my cheeks, "Who died?"

"Jean Grey, she sacrificed her life to save the others," I respond as I hear the students gasp in shock and start crying.

I then felt a tug on the corner of my shirt, grabbing my attention to see a little girl whose mutation I knew detected people's feelings.

"Yes, sweetheart?" I asked while I wiped the tears away and crouched to her level.

"Was she one of your best friends?" She asks as I give it some thought before she mentions, "You're feeling devastated."

"We had our differences, but I wouldn't say she was my best friend. She and I were friends, though," I respond as she tilts her head in confusion before I explain, "Scott is my best friend. I'm devastated for him since he and Jean were together."

"I thought she and Logan were a couple," Another student said as I let out a little laugh and told them Logan had a crush on her, but he knew better to not go any farther than that, "Just like you have a crush on Scott?"

I scoffed and rebut with, "I don't have a crush on him, we're simply best friends."

"Your looks say otherwise," The same student says with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and respond, "Maybe I do, but he was with Jean, so it wouldn't have been right to tell him."

"Well, now you can further your relationship with him," Another student said before someone smacked him upside the head and explained to him how I couldn't because he had just lost his girlfriend.

"Go up to bed, all of you," I commanded as everyone followed my orders and went straight to bed.

After I heard the doors shut, I went to my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed before grabbing a pillow against my chest. I let out a breath as I started sobbing into the pillow.

"The student is right; I can never reveal my feelings to Scott, not after all that happened," I thought to myself while I lulled myself to sleep.

The morning light started shining through my windows, waking me up, and I sat up before focusing my super hearing to hear the hustle of the mansion.

"They're back!" One student shouted as I heard the jet engine coming up as a knock came on my door, "Y/N, they're back."

I got up out of bed and opened the door to say, "I know. My mutation is my hearing, remember?" I exited to go down the stairs into the foyer, which is full of students waiting to see which of their fellow mutants made it home.

"Do you guys mind waiting here for them?" I asked, and the students told me no as I left for outside so I could greet them.

Storm was the first to exit the aircraft, and I looked at her solemnly before I wrapped my arms around her and whispered how sorry I was. She hugged me back and told me Scott would need me more than ever. She started walking toward the mansion with most of the kids behind her. I turned my attention back to the entrance to see Scott come into view, and I could feel his eyes on me through the ruby quartz glasses.

"Scott," I started to say as he walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me tight before he started crying on my shoulder. I looked at Logan over Scott's shoulder to mouth, "Are you okay?"

"I'll survive," Logan mouthed back as I sighed and moved my mouth next to Scott's ear to whisper, "Do you need me to do anything?"

Scott exited the embrace before shaking his head and telling me he wanted to be alone but needed to hug me first. I nodded as Scott walked past me towards the mansion and I hear Logan clear his throat.

"What? Do you want me to get you a beer or a cigar to take the edge off?" I asked as Logan quirked an eyebrow and told me I should've told him, to which I scoffed and said, "There's no way I'm going to tell that man I'm in love with him when his girlfriend just died, Logan. It wouldn't be fair on him."

Before he could get another word, I walked away and returned to my room. I let out a shuttered breath before I wrapped my arms around my midsection.

"Damn it, not another panic attack," I thought to myself as I felt my body start to shake, and I started hyperventilating, "Calm down Y/N, you have got to calm down."

"Y/N," I hear Charles' voice comes through my head, "You need to breathe."

"I-I can't," I whispered as I try to catch my breath, but all efforts were failing.

"Yes, you can; just breathe in and out," Charles said, and I started the exercise that seemed to help me mellow out.

After I took a few deep breaths, my heart rate calmed down enough that I stopped shaking so much.

"Thanks, Charles, I just," I whispered before Charles cut me off with, "You were frustrated about people telling you what you didn't feel comfortable doing."

I got off the floor and started heading to Scott's door before placing my ear on it to hear if he was in there. The sound of sobbing told me he was. I debated knocking, but at the last second, I decided not to and then headed to the kitchen to make him food. I made him something he always said brought comfort: my "famous" chicken noodle soup with grilled cheese and tomato sandwich. After I was finished, I placed the tray outside his door before knocking and heading back to my bedroom.

"I hope it will still bring him comfort," I thought to myself as I listened for him to open the door and grab the tray.

Days passed, and Scott's class was canceled for understandable reasons. He only left his room to go to the bathroom or grab something to eat. Students asked me every day when Scott would be coming back, and I always told them I didn't have the answers. I continued trying to provide any comfort I could because, like Storm said, Scott needed me more now than ever. I was reading a book in the library when I heard something smashing and arguing, getting worried on what it could be, I honed my hearing to the source.

"Leave me alone, Logan," I hear Scott say, and Logan scoffed before saying, "Look, everybody is devastated about Jean, but you don't see anyone else holed up in their rooms about it."

"My situation is different. She was my girlfriend!" Scott shouted as I heard his voice crack, "I have more than the right to grieve like this. I'm never going to find anyone that makes me feel the way Jean made me feel."

"Yes, you have that right, but you're forgetting something. You have another person who makes you feel more than what Jean gave you," Logan reminded as Scott scoffed and said, "If you're about to say Y/N, you're out of your mind."

"I am about to say Y/N, and you know I'm right! That girl is your best friend, your beck and call, the one person you seek out whenever you need something, and don't think I haven't noticed the amount of cooking she's been doing for you," Logan said as Scott told him there's no way I would see him more than a friend, "How do you know if you haven't asked her? All you're doing is speculating-."

Suddenly, the voices cut out, and my ears started ringing, causing me to fall off the loveseat and start screaming in pain. My ears felt like they were actually bleeding, and I felt myself going unconscious from the pain before I could hear someone shout my name as the darkness came.

"Y/N, please wake up. I can't lose you, too," I hear someone whisper as I try to open my eyes and look down to see Scott lying on his head next to my hand. I ran my hand through his hair, catching his attention to look at me as he sighed in relief.

"What happened?" I asked as I looked around the room before Scott told me a mutant was testing how loud they could get, not realizing it could harm me, "Guess I'll have to invest in special headphones."

Scott laughs before saying, "Listen, I want to apologize for being closed off lately-" I cut him off, saying it was okay before he continued, "Please, let me finish. It wasn't right of me to push people away, especially you. It's not okay that I did that to you. Yes, while I was grieving Jean, I should've thought things through."

"I overheard you and Logan," I told Scott as he sighed and took my hand before he asked me how much I heard, "Everything. Is it true what Logan said?"

Scott nodded before speaking. "Logan got tired of me moping in my room, so he demanded that we talk. I'm glad he did, or else I wouldn't have gotten my head straight to realize he was right."

"About Jean?" I asked as Scott shook his head and explained while Logan was right about Jean, that wasn't the main thing.

"Logan was right that you make me feel more than what Jean could give me. You pay attention to small details and even cook up all the foods you know would comfort me. You also provide me with a shoulder to cry on. Your schedule open if I need to get something off my chest," Scott said as I looked at him confused and asked him if Jean did all of those things, to which he shook his head, "She was primarily verbal with her love, whereas you are physical and verbal with yours."

"I- Wait, you knew?" I asked as Scott smiled and told me that Logan was the one to spill the secret, "Remind me to kick his ass at the next workout session. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Scott asked as he leans in and I told him he shouldn't have found out while grieving, "Y/N, I love you too."

Scott starts kissing me, and I move my arms to wrap around his neck so he can pull me in closer. I pull away and ask him if he really wants to do this, to which he replies he does. He then explains how Jean told him not to let the person who makes him happy slip through his fingers. I smiled before kissing him again and whispering, "Thank you for letting me in."

[patheticallyinfatuatedwithu]

nonsense, kang haerin

haerin finds comfort in your nonsense.

"rinnie," haerin hums, eyes closing before yawning and snuggling in further your embrace as you pull up the blanket to cover areas that left haerin shivering. "would you still love me as a worm?"

she sighs and nods, you were back to spilling your nonsense again and no matter how tired she is, she can't help but agree and chase the warmth that you emit. "really? even if i was an icky dirty insect?"

she nods against you, eyes closing as your hushed voice coaxes her to sleep. "what about if i was an alien that doesn't look like myself anymore? like i'm green and have three fingers. would you still love me?"

"yes," she whispers, "i'd love you no matter what you turn into, because you're y/n." you flush and melt into her, hiding your face in her hair as she continues. "my y/n."

"please stop." she chuckles, "you started it." you stayed quiet, body heat through the roof and into the moon, disregarding the fact that it was winter season and heavily snowing outside. "why are you so hot?"

"w-what?" you clutched her tighter, turning into a tomato and almost combusting there and then. "your body heat, i mean." she stifles a laugh as you breathe out, "i like it. my human heater."

you stayed quiet, trying to collect your thoughts bit by bit and piece it together like a puzzle, and haerin felt her sleepiness running away from her. "y/n."

you turn to her, leaving the comfort of her hair against your skin, hand that was grasping her jacket releasing. "keep talking." you nod and pull the blanket further up the two of you, flicking your tongue to meet your lips before continuing.

"rinnie, you're tired, aren't you?" she nods, and she thinks, dreamland is not that far away from her reach. "of course you'd be, after all, you've been running through my mind the whole day." she smiles and snuggles further in your embrace, rubbing her cheek on your sweater.

"you like my sweater?" she nods again, your voice lullabying her so so close to sleep. "it's made of 100% girlfriend material." you chuckle, and that was enough for haerin to fall off the edge and tumble into dreamland.

you were well aware, and continued to spew nonsense. you knew how much she liked you to continue, swearing she hears you even in her sleep. that's how much she dedicates her time for you, that she hopes to see you in her dreams, hear you in her dreams, hold you in her dreams.

you leave a lingering kiss on top of her head as you close your eyes, whispers turning into stardust as you close your eyes, wanting nothing more to stay in this moment and never leave. your eyes glistened when you opened them, and tears started to fall. your heart felt like it was about to burst and you fell into silent sobs. i'm sorry, rinnie. please, let go.

haerin woke up the next morning, your side of the bed cold and empty as it's always been for a few months now. her sobs racked her back, shaking and shivering as she holds the same sweater you wore yesterday night when you lulled her to sleep, the material starting to soak at the hands of her tears.

she'll do anything to get your nonsense back.

broken records i am definitely failing my maths exam😀 also sorry for the anons who requested things! im working on them dw :DDD hope this made sense😭 kinda just rushed it💀

[dairyminki]

Like A Cat | c.s

↬ pairing: choi san x gn!reader

↬ summary: out of the two of you, san, with no doubt, was clingier as his love language centered on physical touch and affection. but when the tables do turn, san is much more delighted to accept what you give him

↬ genre: fluff, established relationship

↬ warning: light swearing

↬ wc: 500+

"I'm home!" You shout as soon as you open the door to your apartment. Being freakishly tired from work, you end up wobbling on your way to the couch, your bag dropping to the floor, while your sore body collides with the softness of the furniture.

You were beyond exhausted.

"Y/N!" San's shrill voice comes from your shared bedroom, having woken up from his light nap after hearing your voice. However, his cheerful voice chanting your name repeatedly immediately died down when he saw your state on the couch.

To him, and everyone who has eyes - he thinks - you looked like life was sucked out of you.

"Oh my god, my baby, are you okay?" Worry and concern was evident in your boyfriend's tone as he knelt in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

"Do I look okay to you?" You muttered weakly, closing your eyes. Which sent San into a frenzy; him, shaking your body, while ridiculously thinking that you were going to pass out on him.

"For fuck's sake, stop overreacting, San! I'm just tired…" You groan, now turning to plant your face on the plushness of the couch. Then, your boyfriend speaks up,

"Oh, why didn't you say so? God, I panicked for nothing."

You didn't give him any response.

Not when he speaks up for the second time. This time, asking, "My tired baby, do you want anything? Tell me, and I'll do it for you, hmm?"

San threads his fingers through your hair, trying to tidy it up as gently as possible. You nearly whimpered at the feeling. The way he did it was so soft that it almost lulled you to sleep.

"Anything?" You repeat in a hushed voice, cheek squished as you turn once again to look at him.

"Yeah, anything."

And that's how you find yourself seated on San's lap, cuddling with him on the couch. Your face buried in his neck whilst you litter lazy pecks along the side of it. San's fingers continued to caress your hair, giggling as your kisses tickled him.

"Is this okay, baby?" Smiling, San asks you, making you shake your head.

You pulled away from him and found him looking at you, confused. Even with tired eyes, you still managed to smile cheekily, pointing at your lips.

"Want you to kiss me too."

It had San giggling even more, more than happy to supply to your request. Anything for his baby.

A kiss on the forehead.

On your nose.

The apples of your reddened cheeks.

And lastly, on the lips.

"Anything else?" San asks, booping your nose.

"No." You say softly. And then like a cat, you went back to nuzzling your face in his neck, basking in the scent of his perfume. Your eyes closed in pure bliss.

San had wrapped you tightly in his embrace, one hand playing with your hair the way you liked it to, while the other remained on your waist, his fingers drawing any pattern that came to his mind.

San wishes that when you wake up, you'll still choose to stay in his hold.

Because, frankly, he enjoys every minute of it. Loving the way you fit perfectly in between his arms.

↬a/n: ahhhhhck here's a little something as i slowly ease myself back into writing once again teehee

↬ ATEEZ Masterlist

[classystudentpartyslime]

You ain't reading allat

Found this in my notes app, it's a year old, let's go (⁠ノ⁠ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ

Hangout later

The fan in my bedroom hasn't been working for the past few days.

This isn't a problem– shouldn't be, atleast. It's winter.

Or that's how it may seem to others.

It has caused issues for me.

I mean, I find myself staring at it more often.

That in itself wouldn't be the problem, if I hadn't also been staring at the sturdy looking bedsheets, the calendar, the small ladder, a notepad, and a pen.

But I am. Way too often.

I think we often tend to miss things when they're in motion. Or we're in motion. Aren't we all in motion? The earth is spinning, after all. But it seems with the fan, I have stopped too. So now, with many thoughts behind my unoptimally functioning eyes, and from behind the sizeable lenses cased between the frame of my painfully dull black glasses, I stare.

I stare at many things, but the fan, mostly.

You see, it's not that cold yet. If the fan hadn't stopped, I'd be cozier in the night, with its regulator turned to the second last notch complimenting the weight of a thicker-than-usual blanket on my body in a way that lulls me into an easy sleep.

But, no. It had to stop. So I stare as sleep evades me, today of all days, when I felt I needed it most.

It's too warm with the blanket, suffocating. Just slightly too cold without it, in a way that stings only the back of my legs and my thighs. There is no peace either way.

My phone's ringing. I ignore the sound till it stops. I think of the days where I didn't, and how those conversations went. Tonight I don't feel like listening. Or speaking, for that matter. So I settle with staring at the fan. The phone finishes ringing and doesn't ring again.

I remember when I was younger, I used to get on top of the ladder and try to reach the blades. I'm sure I could now, if I tried, but I haven't in a while.

Maybe because that information would only cause me more unrest. Push me harder towards resting once and for all, maybe not flat on my back, but not on my feet, either.

Because I'm not that tall, so my feet wouldn't touch the floor, even if the fan hanged a little low.

The right earphone is working. The sound of chirping crickets replaces the music that's supposed to flow in from the left one. It's been broken for a while, now. So many things are, now that I think about it.

My right ear starts ringing, and suddenly I can't hear any music at all.

Usually, I'd hear the dull whirring of my fan, and the sound of air being whipped around. But there's none of that either. The sound of my thoughts occupies that silence.

I think the fan's staring at me, too. Wondering why I spend so much time decomposing on this bed. Why I'm thinking so hard, prolonging a decision that I know I will end up taking. Why I've been here so long, not even moving any part of my body except my eyelids and irises. I think the fan is tired of looking at my face. I feel sorry for my fan. Maybe things are easier for it when it's spinning, too. I feel it isn't happy with the way I'm planning to use it, at all.

What if it gives out from the ceiling, and we both fall?

My fan falls, and it says, "It's all your fault. Maybe I was a little flawed– maybe I stopped spinning for a while. For such a minor crime, did you really have to destroy me? Now I've left a hole where I was, and the ceiling misses me. I will be thrown out soon, and I'll end up in the dumpyard with the rest of the trash. Can't you have done something different?"

"Stupid girl. Look at what you did."

And I don't have an answer for my fan. Really, this was an inconsiderate decision. I never thought it would fall alongside me...but I'm not really sorry.

"So what if you didn't?" My fan says. "It's still your fault."

Still my fault. That sounds right. I've decided that most things are. I think about how I haven't heard an apology in very long.

I must really have gone insane, because fans don't speak, and I never even left my place on the bed. My fan still hangs from the ceiling, perfectly still, like it has been for days.

I think about what my fan said to me, when I realise that maybe sleep is upset with my eyes tonight for having paid no heed to it's gentle nudges throughout the day, and has decided to refrain from paying them its daily visit out of pettiness.

I think of asking my fan why it stopped.

My fan reads my mind, because it answers though I never end up asking. "Why are you always questioning me? Can't you be glad I chose a time where you don't need me as much? Atleast it's not summer, I worked hard for you this summer." my fan says.

"I gave you what you wanted, when you wanted it. What more do you want from me?"

And my fan sounds so upset, that I feel a little bad for asking in the first place. Even though I didn't really ask, and it never really answered. I'm going to stop asking if it's so sad all the time.

This whole back and forth that I just had with my fan, or didn't, sounds a little familiar to me. Or doesn't. Because I never had this conversation with someone else, but if I did, they would act out my part, and I'd be acting out the part of my fan.

I think I already do, to some extent.

"I don't know, have you thought about apologising?"

"Hello? But I'm not sorry?"

"Oh. Okay."

"..."

I think about how I don't exactly sympathize with my fan, and wonder whether it's the same for other people too. How exhausting it must be to have to badger me with questions even when I'm not causing them trouble.

"I gave you what you wanted, when you wanted it. What more do you want from me?"

"...I'm going to stop asking if you're so sad all the time."

Maybe my way of looking at this is wrong to begin with. Maybe my fan stopped moving because it died. Maybe what hangs above me now is its corpse. Such a morbid thought. We'd match if I hung my corpse from it, too. Just two hanging corpses, that were maybe friends.

"I don't know," my fan says. "Are we friends?"

"You're supposed to be dead," I say, or don't.

"Well, if you want me to be." My fan sounds upset again. "Do you want me to be?"

"That depends. Do you want to be?"

My fan doesn't answer that question. Maybe it realised that it's supposed to be dead, and shouldn't have been speaking in the first place, or it just now died, or it simply didn't feel like answering. Looking at my fan, it's not clear which one it is. Maybe it has no answer.

It's silent now, it occurs to me. It's a weird thought because it has been silent the entire time, but this silence feels more concentrated. Atleast now I'm thinking about a possible schizophrenia diagnosis instead of about killing myself. If I told someone about tonight, they'd probably laugh at me. I'd laugh with them, because it's funny, there's no denying that.

"What do you mean? I do tell you everything."

"That can't be true."

"Yes it is. It's not my fault my life's so uneventful."

"...."

"What? It is true."

Because my fan speaking to me, but not exactly, can't really be considered a real event. Right?

It's too quiet save for the ringing in my right ear, and that sound is not one that I'm fond of. So I ask my fan why it's speaking to me.

"I'm not," it says. Now that just makes matters worse.

It doesn't clear up whether my fan is dead or not. Can inanimate objects die? It doesn't even clear up whether or not it's speaking to me. I suppose if a fan can speak, a corpse should be able to speak too, since they're both inanimate. What about a fan-corpse then? Or a corpse-fan?

There's an obvious answer to all of this, of course. If inanimate things never lived in the first place, then they can't die. And by that logic they can't speak either.

"That's right." My fan confirms.

"You're going against what you're agreeing with," I say. Or think. I don't really know.

"No, that's you." My fan says, even more upset for some reason. "I haven't been speaking in the first place. It's all you."

Jesus Christ. Maybe I shouldn't have asked why it's speaking to me.

My fan doesn't respond any further, probably since my right ear stopped ringing and I can hear the music again.

I pick up my phone and turn off the song, but my fan doesn't speak anymore. This time I don't bother figuring out why. I'm not sleepy, but I don't have the energy to move more than my hands. My fan can't die, so it stays stuck between being alive and being dead, miserable in its own existence. There's no reason for me to exist that way, except for right now, when the reason is that I'm exhausted.

I don't know how much longer I can farm that excuse, because I'm growing increasingly frustrated with my own incompetence. Can't even get up to hang yourself? What a joke.

I'm miserable tonight, like I've been last night, and the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that, and many many nights before that. My body aches and so does my mind, especially my eyes as they stare at the fan.

I want my existence to end.

Was that me or the fan?

Whoever it was, it's now 2:32, so I have to wait till 3.

__________________________________________

My fan is fixed now btw

[jazz-the-writer]

Mafia Clan Ties - Lee Know SKZ smut- NSFW

HI, so for some reason I can't stop with the Mafia ideas, I'm not used to this type of gangster writing, but, this my story and I decide how it goes. SO I basically had a thought when I saw the video of Minho talking about his scar and his surgery when he was younger and long story short that was the start of this inspiration. I'm not sure if this will have a second part, we'll see, anyway please enjoy reading.

Lee Know x Reader

themes: mentions of blood, mentions of violence, mentions of mafia affiliations, sexual themes, unprotected sex, mutual consent, mentions of death, mentions of gun violence, mentions of death threats.

also I don't speak nor can I write in Korean. in this fic

Italics in bold: means they're speaking in korean.

word count: 9,361

p.s sneak peek at something I have more of on my patreon, but I will share some of it at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He kissed softly at the tender spot before his small whisper.

“Please don’t lie to me again, please, you’re mine…”

His declaration was more of a question when he said it in my ear, I felt a sting in my heart at the pain and doubt I caused, my hands went up to his hair and it was all I could do to keep him close.

“I’m always going to be yours Minho, no one’s gonna take me from you, I promise I won’t hurt you ever again” I couldn’t stop the hitch in my throat as it got harder to speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why he brought me here I don’t know, I betrayed him, he’s hurt and it’s because of me. He was left in a vulnerable position right now nothing else matters except for helping him and stopping the bleeding. I ran back into the room, he was sat on the couch where I left him, how he was able to focus driving long enough to bring us to this cabin out in the middle of nowhere after a gun fight was beyond me. He said we’d be safe here and that no one else knew our location. My hands shook as I used the scissors from the first aid kit to open up his shirt, the holes in his shoulder and bicep were swollen and still bleeding, the blood had slowed some but if I didn’t stop it now he’d definitely pass out. Out of instinct or adrenaline I climbed on top of him and undid his belt to wrap it around his bicep above the wound and tightened it. His already blood soaked shirt served as better use to press against the wound higher up on his shoulder blade, he’d let out a painful groan and I felt horrible, I needed to use all my first aid knowledge to help him. I pressed against his wound with one hand and reached for the jacket I tossed aside to press on top of the shirt I couldn’t wrap his wounds till the bleeding stopped. We were both quiet in that moment, Minho’s slow and shaky breaths made the pain in my heart twist that much more, I wanted to vomit at the memory of lying to him the way I did. It was never my intention to let it go on as long as it did. I never intended to fall in love with him and string him along when he tried to get closer, all I ever did was push him away, and yet he stayed waiting patiently for me to be ready.

He didn’t deserve a snake like me, yet all I wanted right now was for him to hold me close like he had the night we spent talking together till I fell asleep on his chest. I could still hear the sound of his steady heartbeat lulling me to sleep and calming my nerves. The pure love he had for me was undeniable, and I was poison to him, maybe me being a snake is why I couldn’t ever bring myself to let him all the way in. The thought of being intimate with him was so tempting, but knowingly lying to him and feeding information to his enemies, even if he wanted to try to go further I couldn’t because it felt like a lie. Insincerity on my part because, even if it all started out innocently, I was only there in the end to pay off a debt to my crooked mafia friend.

“Why are you thinking so hard for?” His voice was small like he usually sounds when he speaks english with me, he always sounds more confident and commanding in Korean, only this time he was weak and tired and I wasn’t too sure if it was my guilt or not but he sounded so much more hurt. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, how stupid I must look right now to him crying as if I had that privilege, the thought of looking him in the eyes was terrifying. How could I look this sweet, caring man in the eyes after I had committed such a betrayal of trust and to boot he saved my life and took two bullets for me. His cold and calloused hand reached for my cheek and thumbed at my tears, still he was so gentle and comforting, I couldn’t help myself when my muscles relaxed at his touch. The pressure I had on his wound needed to be focused on, but my face leaned into his other hand, his weak voice shushing me while I sobbed and looked away from him.

“Hey, it’s ok”

“No it’s not!” I cried out and when his face came into view of my blurry sight he looked so soft and warm with his hair covering his eyes. He had no hint of malice in his tone or his eyes, I couldn’t believe he was still so trusting, my breath hitched in my throat. I shifted my focus to his wound and checked it for more blood, apart from my jacket getting a little more blood on it, the belt and my pressure seemed to stop it so that I could wrap him up. I needed to patch him up to get away from him and avoid his soft gaze behind his messy hair. While I sniveled and cleaned up his wounds his hand fell from my face and stayed at my hip, his fingers twitching every now and then when he felt pain. I tried my best to clean him up and wrap his chest, he’d been covered in filth and I couldn’t leave him like that, before I could leave him I made a mix of warm water and soap to clean his skin around the thin wrap before I built the bandages up more. His eyes were closed and his hand stayed in the same spot on my hip, straddling him wasn’t ideal, sitting in his lap was the best course of action to clean him up while he sat on the small couch. His chest rose and fell softly and he seemed to have fallen asleep, I couldn’t avoid looking at his bare chest while washing him. He had so many scars from other parts of his life, my hands lingered around the center of his torso, just under his chest he had a slit of skin that scarred and resembled a knife wound. I wondered how it could have happened and without realizing it, I was in a daze as I kept brushing my fingers against it, his chest was steady and slow with his breathing.

“It’s a surgery scar from when I was a baby” I jumped at his voice, not responding to him, before continuing to wash his body. He was quiet again and the silence between us was killing me, so much time we had spent together and we had never been so quiet for so long, he always found something to ask about or mention and I couldn’t stop talking about anything and everything when I was nervous around him. Right now it wasn’t nerves, I was downright terrified, he saved my life more than once and I repay him by lying to him and stringing him along in a false relationship.

“It was real to me” my hand stopped on his shoulder, and the lump growing in my throat made it so hard to breathe, I swallowed with a dry throat before I spoke up. My thoughts were jumbled and making one coherent sentence was nearly impossible.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“I never meant-I didn’t want”

“You should have let me die”

"I couldn’t do that" his hand squeezed at my hip and I stayed silent hoping he’d let me just finish cleaning him up. His eyes bore into me and I felt his stare while I avoided it to focus on his body, that was when a dilema occurred to me, his lower half was still clad in his stiff blood soaked and filthy jeans. The dryness in my throat had gotten painful when I swallowed thickly again.

“I have to take your pants off Minho” he was quite and I looked to him for answers only to find his lips were turned up into a smirk while his eyes were closed. I whined out in frustration and groaned when I climbed off of him, gathering more soap and a bigger bowl for the mixture of water to wash him. My search continued to a room and I wondered if he had any extra clothes somewhere, this had to be something he thought of, he was a very smart man and his mafia brain always scared me. While I looked in the drawers I found a familiar pair of grey sweats and a black T-shirt, the cold metal and feeling of the gun had almost paralyzed me, instead of searching for more I took the clothes and left to finish undressing him and cleaning him up. He was still breathing and I was still panicking that I’d killed him, I’m sure he’s been shot before but it’s still worrisome when he looks so pale and vulnerable, I’m used to seeing him in a more commanding presence where he’s more vocal and not so small and quiet. I picked the scissors up again and cut at his jeans, only opening them did I realize that I would need to wash his back and climb on top of him again, it was just best to worry about what to do now and right now I needed to wash his blood stained skin. Try as I might though it was almost impossible to avoid noticing his toned body. Memories of our small moments together alone when he'd get too close or ask for one kiss and it would some how lead to one more touch or just one more kiss. I can say more than once he’s pulled me into his lap to kiss me or keep me closer for longer when I’d try to avoid him.

The more I thought about why I was still trying to avoid getting closer the more I wondered why he brought me here with him. I had nothing to contribute, no advantage to help him get out of this mess, on the contrary I caused this mess for him and here he was bleeding and helpless. After I had cleaned up his thighs and pulled his jeans out from under him I stood up and before I climbed on top of him I realized that I was just as filthy and covered in his blood. Instead of waking him from his sleep I just undressed myself and thanked god that I wore at least a tank top and there wasn’t too much of his blood on it. His face was just as filthy and the guilt I felt for not starting on his face made my stomach churn, after washing and wringing out the towel I was using, he was still sleeping. I had climbed on top of him again and after dipping the towel in the warm mixture to clean him up I turned to find him wide awake and staring at me. I froze in shock, he was half naked and so was I, his face was covered in sweat mixed with dirt and his lip was bleeding with a few other scrapes and bruises on his eye and cheek.

“I-didn’t want to get you dirty” my voice was small and he was silent and his starring felt like it was burning into my skin. A small whimper fell from my lips and my body jolted at the touch of his cold hands, they started at my thighs and slipped under my top to hold my waist, he pulled my hips down to press against his and my eyes widened while my jaw dropped at the feeling of his bulge pressing against me. In an attempt to contain the throbbing I felt pressed against him, I couldn’t tell if it was him or me but I wanted more than anything to buck against him, my mouth closed and my breathing turned shaky. My hand went up to wipe away the dirt, sweat and blood from his face while his hands kept me pressed to him and his eyes stayed trained on me. The difficulty of trying to concentrate while I could feel him against me was increasing and the fact that we had never been as close as this before had my mind spinning.

How could he be so calm?!

No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, the ache and warmth increasing between my thighs for him was getting harder to ignore, I prayed he couldn’t feel how wet I was getting. My hands were soft and I tried to make sure I applied the right amount of pressure to clean up his face. While trying my best to ignore the feeling of him pressing into my center I tried to make sure every spot on his face was clean. His hands surprised me when they squeezed at my sides and pulled my hips forward on him, forcing a loud gasp from me, he let out a deep sigh and his head was in my chest.

"please, let me" his voice was sounded so strained, something more desperate about it, I stayed silent and it wasn’t as if the thought hadn’t occurred to me. He’d been shot. How could I do this with him? The fear of him passing out or worse from being worked up is all I could think to process. I felt his tongue on my chest before I could answer and his hands slipped around to squeeze at my backside to rock me against him again. The noises I made in protest were ignored, I tried to make him see reason, his mouth was warm and wet on my chest while he started a slow and steady rhythm of my hips. Gathering what energy I could to focus more on his health, rather than the blissful feeling of him pressing against me so fervently, I reached up to his neck to pull his face from the mark he’s been sucking onto my collarbone. With a loud smack from his lips and the moan that I let slip was from the pain he stared up at me with dark pink lips while panting.

“Minho stop it, please, you’re hurt” I whined out to him when he brought my hips to rock on him once more.

“I’d feel better if you did it by yourself” his mouth turned up into a smirk.

“I’m being serious, you shouldn’t be getting worked up like this” I wanted to convince him and myself.

“I’m always worked up, you can make me feel better” he was laid back against the seat, his hands still cupping at me from behind.

“Please” he looked at me with innocent eyes, but his expression and posture was anything but innocent. If he kept pressing me down and moving me he’d be moving too much and wasting his energy. I couldn’t think properly, he was asking me to ride him.

“Minho. I can't- It’s embarrassing” I whined out and leaned forward to press my forehead against his and shut my eyes to avoid his gaze.

“You don’t like it?” He sounded so small and a little hurt at the assumption.

“That’s not it and you know it” I cried out.

“Y/n, please, you’re here in front of me. Right now with almost nothing on. I need to feel you, need to see you fall apart.” He was whispering to me, his lips so close, begging me to press myself against him to bring us both to bliss. The temptation was too much to bear, if he needed this I wanted it even more, my mouth found his in a desperate kiss while I whined and pressed down against him. He groaned softly in my mouth and swallowed the small whines and whimpers that left mine. My hips worked against him and I could feel how wet everything was. I never stopped kissing him, the thought of him staring at me while I rubbed myself against him was embarrassing, his lips felt so rough and tender. All I could think about was how warm everything was between my thighs and how heavy he felt against me. He squeezed at my skin, my arms went to his shoulders for leverage, I needed to feel more of him. His mouth pressed wet kisses to my chest, while I moved against him, the soft moans that he let out could be felt against my chest and it only made the sensation that much stronger. The fabric between us was so delicate and it was shameful to think of the wet spot I'd leave on him after. An embarrassing whine left my throat at the thought of him teasing me about it.

"you're so wet" my hips stuttered and my body shivered when I heard him speak his words in his soft spoken Korean, a small whimper left me while I tried to keep a steady pace rocking against him. His hands squeezed at my thighs and slid up again to grip my backside and encourage me to press harder against him with a low sigh. I wanted to please him, I needed him to cum too, my hips pressed into him at a slower and deeper pace. I couldn't help it when my body shuddered as I felt how stiff he was inside his boxers, the slowed movements allowed me to focus on his length, the delicate and thin fabric between us left nothing to the imagination. I did my best to keep my noises inside but when he’d bite at me and kiss at my skin I couldn’t help it when they escaped my throat. His mouth had been pressed against the center of my throat while he was sucking a dark mark into me, that’s when I heard him speak up, his lips were still against my throat before they left my skin with a loud smack.

“I want to be inside you, please” his fingers dug into my skin as I trembled and shook against him while still trying to help him finish. I tried to ignore his pleas while he continued to invade my senses and overwhelm me with his entire being.

“Please, baby I need to feel you” his voice was whiny he sounded so broken and desperate. I couldn’t help myself when I stopped to let my hands slide down between us, he watched me as I let him free, a shaky breath left him when I squeezed at him and gave his member a few tugs. I lifted myself slightly so that I could position myself above him, his fingers took over, his thumb brushed against the wet fabric of my panties. He tortured me with a long slow circle he rubbed into me, spreading the wet patch, his finger hooked onto the fabric and held it against my thigh. I lowered myself to feel him against me, both of us were anticipating this moment, we were so quiet. His small gasp matched my own whimper, as I teased us, the tip of his head rubbed against my wanting and dripping home for him. I let out a whiny moan at the feeling of him when I pushed down, his groan was desperate and broken as he huffed heavy pants against my chest. I was fully pressed to his hips, his length filling my need and want to feel full of him, it had gotten impossibly warmer, every touch from him left my skin clammy and burning.

“So soft and wet” the soft whimper he let out between his words made me squeeze tighter around him, forcing a high pitched gasp from his throat, his lips mouthed at my cheek pressing kisses to my jaw and at the corner of my mouth.

“Are you sure this-are you really okay?” Feeling him inside of me and the way he kissed me would usually have my head spinning and the desire would have overtaken me by now. When my hands touched at the gauze wrapped around his chest is how I was able to focus enough to still have concerns about doing this with him.

“Yes, I’m ok, you feel so good right now” his mouth never stopped kissing at my chest and his voice was muffled against my skin. He moaned against me as I pulsed around him again, he seemed so much more vocal like he usually is, I gasped after lifting my hips only to push him in again. He let out another groan and the way he couldn’t stop sounding so needy and whiny for everything I did only furthered the warmth stirring in my abdomen. His back was against the couch and he was looking up at me, his hand left my thigh and cupped at my neck and tilted my jaw down to face him. The wet sounds from between us while my hips never stopped his gaze had my chest burning in embarrassment causing me to hide my face in his neck. The new position felt closer and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning at the way he felt. His hands had found their way to my hips again as I heard him panting and moaning from my movement. The silence of the room that was so loud before had been replaced with our soft moans and groans for each other, his hands gripping at my skin, and his teeth biting on my shoulder. The soft feeling of his lips, and the harsh marks his teeth would leave, made me wonder what it would look like once he marked me the way he wanted. I couldn’t believe how hard I worked to avoid this, but knowing he knew the truth now, it felt right to connect with him so deeply this way.

“my beautiful shy girl” he hummed and I felt his warm hands under my shirt, one staying at my hip while his other hand massaged my breast. I could feel my pent up emotions building and the need to finally orgasm was becoming more and more frustrating. I reached a hand down between us and rubbed at myself, his hand at my hip pushed my own out of the way, and I felt his fingers press against the small bundle of nerves begging for attention. My hand found the one he had on my chest and I wanted him to stay there while I kept moving my hips. I gripped on his shoulder while I continued to ride him, his fingers rubbing slow circles into me, the look on his face was adorable and sexy still. His mouth was agape, panting and groaning, his nose scrunched up while he looked between us. I couldn’t help myself when my hand on his shoulder went to tilt his chin up so I could kiss him. When our lips touched a he let out a desperate whimper from his throat and he swallowed the small whine I let slip when I felt his warmth spread inside of me. He was so warm and everything he had to give me was inside and it made me shake above him with everything he did and his fingers still rubbing into me. I cried out his name as I pushed against him, keeping him deep inside of me while I bucked against his hips.

“Good girl, my good girl, you did so good” I was left a panting and whiny mess against him, his fingers were still rubbing at me, slower and softer and I could feel him spreading the warm sticky mess we’d made over my small bud.

“Minho, wait, I need to finish” The sensitive feeling of just having an orgasm was torture, everything was so sensitive and I could feel him inside of me still, he wasn’t stopping.

“Cum for me again, please” I couldn’t stop myself from whining out and feeling another orgasm crash through me while I still had him inside, he was limp and I lazily lifted my hips up, the loss of his warmth had made me sigh. I wished we could be this close for longer, but he still needed to have his back cleaned, my thighs were sore and where I had him connected to me ached. I tried to climb off of him to go clean myself up but his hands held me by my hips I could feel how wet his length was against my dripping center. He let out a warm and satisfied hum that gave me goosebumps.

“One more kiss, please” I smiled at his attempt to beg for another kiss, spent and tired I leaned in for a sloppy kiss, it was slow and sweet. His sinful tongue slipping inside to play with mine softly. His kisses were always so warm and made me want to do this all day and night. His mouth separated from mine in a soft smack.

“Ok you can go now” I huffed out a laugh at his words, before softly smacking his arm, attempting to walk on my weak knees. The soreness of my thighs had caused me to lose my balance as I grabbed at the arm of the couch. I felt a slap on my ass, that stopped me before I continued to try walking, turning around to find Minho laid back against his seat with a smirk on his face. The mess on his thighs had caused me to blush harder as I attempted to walk away to clean myself up. The image of his wet limp length against his boxers had made me wash the rag I used to clean myself up and walk out to clean him up as well. I walked out with the rag in hand only to find his member tucked in his shorts, and his face softer than before, it was somewhat panic inducing how calm he looked. After I made sure he was still breathing I continued to clean up his back. His face was pressed to my shoulder and I could hear his small grumbling noises, before he started kissing at my skin, it was more lazy and felt like him expressing his appreciation. I was perfectly fine with his soft kisses until I felt his teeth dig into the dip of my neck. His warm wet mouth pressing kisses to my neck, causing my breath to hitch, He let out a small growl in his throat as I felt him sucking and biting harder into the sore skin. My hands slid up to his hair, the sound of his breathing against me had gotten heavier, it was hard to know who was shaking against who. It was getting more difficult to breathe as I felt his teeth sink in and his soft moans causing me to tremble even more against him. I couldn’t stop myself from the noises I was making or the way I gripped at him. His fingers dug into the tender flesh of my back as I arched into him. All I could do was let my head fall back and allow him to painfully make his point. His teeth had felt even sharper, the force of him sucking and biting had me in a daze, and I couldn’t tell if he was marking me or taking a bite. My hands fell lower to his shoulders and I could feel his wound, He was in pain, it wasn’t just his arm that had been pierced. I had taken his heart and played with it, unintentionally, and yet it didn’t stop me from falling for him. My whines and moans were a mixture of pain and pleasure, I didn’t know I could enjoy something so animalistic, he was unforgiving. He left me in a heaving mess of broken gasps and panting out small pleas for him. He’d let a small whine out in the quiet room a loud smack disrupting the silence as he pulled away from me. Warmth that I couldn’t explain had felt like it had trickled down my front, when his mouth had left me, I could feel the soreness of the mark and the pain he’d felt with it. His tongue pressed flat to the spot and caused me to flinch. I felt a chill run through me as he felt over his teeth marks on me and let the tip of his tongue dip into the small divots. His breathing was heavy and all I could feel was how heavy he was panting against me. He kissed softly at the tender spot before his small whisper.

“Please don’t lie to me again, please, you’re mine…”

His declaration was more of a question when he said it in my ear, I felt a sting in my heart at the pain and doubt I caused, my hands went up to his hair and it was all I could do to keep him close.

“I’m always going to be yours Minho, no one’s gonna take me from you, I promise I won’t hurt you ever again” I couldn’t stop the hitch in my throat as it got harder to speak. His breathing slowed some and I could feel him relax into me again, his hands falling more limp around my waist. The paranoia of everything we had done is what made me stop breathing so I could hear his long and slow breaths. After cleaning him and dressing him the dark red tint around his mouth made me curious to see the mark he’d made. My eyes widened at the sight of his bite mark on my neck. The color was a dark red, mixed with hints of purple from him sucking on it, and had small splotches of blood where his teeth broke through my skin. I could feel the heat rise from my chest to my face as I felt over it. Goosebumps rising at the memory and chills running over my body. I cleaned myself up and it was a little embarrassing how much I enjoyed the sting of pain from being bitten so roughly. I had gathered what I could to make something for him to eat and hoped he’d wake up soon.

*****

For the past four days I had been panicking and worrying about the amount of times Minho and I had spent worshipping each others bodies. It was almost as if he’d been perfectly fine the next day when he went out to catch a few fish to cook. It was hard to remember how we ended up with him bending me over the table, only to spend the rest of the morning with him ravishing my body, and leaving even more bruises. He’d finally listened to me and gone to a doctor, his wounds had started looking more red and irritated no matter how often I cleaned them, not to mention how many times I tried to remove some of the pieces of the bullet. We had almost run out of the antibacterial cream left in the kit. Out of anxiety or fear of when he’d return I just started cleaning everything. Not only had his wound been worrying me, but I couldn’t remember when I last had a period, the paranoia and stress of worrying about the moment we’d no longer be safe was nerve wracking. It had come to the point that I’d finally run out of almost everything to do and ended up spending the rest of daylight out at the wash basin behind the cabin. I had washed his blood stained shirt and my own clothes, since it was his cabin I was wearing his clothes, just before I had thought about starting on the bed sheets I had heard a car door shut. The anxiety had caused me to flinch and rush inside to try to hide from whoever it was. The moment I made it in and tried to hide in the bathroom is when I saw Minho walk in through the door, before I could think to do anything else, I had ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. A small grunt left his mouth and I pulled away worrying I had hurt his bad shoulder.

“Are you ok? Did they know what happened?”

“It’s ok, I’m ok, don’t worry, we’re in clan neutral territory. Most of the civilians here don’t have ties to the clans”

“Do I need to do anything for you?” It was an innocent question and I was sincere in my intentions to take care of him till he was completely healed up.

“Doc said I’m gonna need sponge baths till the skin heals closed” his tone had a light air to it, but the way his hands held my hips felt more mischievous, his next words were spoken in a lower tone. “You can help me with those right?”

I needed to figure out a way to distract him before he started up again, with the touching and the kissing, and the ability to make me forget everything. “I’ll help, but we need to figure out the situation with the food and everything, I’m hungry, what are we supposed to do?”

“I brought some things, that’s why I took so much longer. Want to help bring them in?”

It was almost instinctual when I rushed out the door to get the things down. The entire trunk and back seat was covered in grocery bags and I wondered really then how long it would take for us to get back to our normal lives, could we? Warm arms embraced me from behind in a soft hug with a small nudge of his head on my shoulder.

“Are we ever going to be able to go back to normal?” I didn’t intend for it to sound so desperate or whiny, but it was a strange moment to feel that way, it felt like all I had known was gone. I definitely didn’t want him to think I didn’t want to be here with him. Minho was all I had now, but could I ever see my sister again? Would I put her in danger if I tried? Is she already in danger?

“Hey, calm down, I can hear you’re panicking.” He was soft and warm and mine. I needed to hide my face before I started crying, I made this mess, why was I being such a child about it ?

“I can’t calm down Minho, my sister has been alone for the past five days and I can’t even tell her where I am and don’t even know if she’s still safe, how can I protect her when I’m here with you!?” I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he stayed firm and held me to his warmth.

“I have someone watching her, don’t worry, do you want to talk to her?” The thought of having to explain everything to her was nauseating, but would I even have the time?

“For how long?” He sighed at my question and I felt my body crumble against him in defeat. The noise that left my throat was inhuman and I hid my face in his chest again.

“I can fix it, but it’s going to take time, do you think you can wait longer knowing she’s safe?”

“Of course I can wait Minho, I just feel useless…and selfish” I pulled away from him and continued my path to the car.

“Why are you selfish?”

I stopped with my hand on the door handle. “Because for the past five days I have been convincing myself that being here with you isn’t wrong, that it’s okay for me to feel happy and warm…” he was so quiet and I still couldn’t find the courage to look him in the eye or talk about this topic with him in any form. I was letting myself get carried away with how much he wanted to be close to me without any barriers or walls I’d put up to stop him.

“The night you found me, it was the first time they forced me to go to the location of the hit, they threatened to kill my sister if I didn’t do what they asked. Everything happened so slow and it was like they eased me into it…” I wanted him to stop me, but the fear in my voice and the way my breath trembled was met with his calm silence, leaving the air open for me to fill with my words.

“It started out with just me helping out someone who needed to pass his computer science course, he tried to make out with me one time, I ended up blackmailing him to pay me for the inconvenience. I never meant for it to end up the way it did, but I needed the money, I really needed the money.” The time we spent together before everything broke the 'reality' we were in was bitter sweet and left a warm metallic taste in my mouth. He'd met my little sister and she had opened up to him against my better judgement, she told him the entire agreement with our parents, she had explained how we ended up living together in Seoul and studying. I remember it had been getting difficult to actually get him to bring me close enough to his mafia circle and my own mafa 'friend' had cut me off due to not getting any results. The pain of remembering the week Minho had not only bought our groceries but he paid our rent and gave me extra money for other bills. I had cried in front of Minho out of frustration or desperation I wasn't expecting him to actually spend money on me and give me money. I felt guilty invited him over for dinner, surprisingly I enjoyed it more than I should’ve, and we spent the entire night cuddled together and watching horror movies.

"I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn't let my sister get hurt, when I woke up in your room and you fed me and cleaned me up. I just wanted to disappear and run away. I didn’t think we’d start running into each other and I didn’t expect you to ask me out. By the time they caught me with you on our second date they had figured out who you were and used me again. I wanted out, but how was I supposed to get rid of them? Then you- you wanted to get closer and we were always around each other and my little sister and you cared for me I-I couldn’t-”

“I’m here, you’re okay” his warm voice was in my ear and a soft but firm embrace of his arms around my chest, pushing my back to his own chest, I could feel his deep breath and my hands curled up to hold his forearms against me. I couldn’t stop my breathing from getting so shaky and the sobs I let out had begun hurting so much I followed him to the floor of the forest we were in. He held me against him and wrapped me in his body as I sat between his thighs and laid against his chest. His steady heartbeat thumping against my back, he waited till the tears had stopped falling from my eyes, his hand turned my chin to him thumbing at my tearstained cheek and he pressed his forehead to mine. He was so calming and comforting, how could I believe he was the coldest most uncaring person, although his first impression was something I couldn’t avoid at the time. We were in an odd situation when we first met and him being cold and uncaring was reasonable since he didn’t know me. I was more of a nuisance at the time since I had been taken hostage by my supposed ‘partner’ at the location and he killed him out of retaliation. I had no idea about the small war waging against the two opposing clans and somehow we both ended up in the middle as pawns.

“Baby, I don’t want to make you feel bad, but there’s a few things in the car that might go bad if we stay out here longer” his words caused me to jolt up and at the sudden movement I nearly smacked his face with my hand, the surprise was how fast his reflexes were, could I honestly say his reaction time was surprising? His hand had reached out just before my own caused any harm and I welcomed the warm hold. His fingers laced with mine and brought my hand to his as he kissed at my skin from his spot in the dirt floor. He stood up in a calculated manner, body still close enough to warm mine, as he reached behind me to open the car door. We were quiet as we put the things away, it was almost peaceful, when I opened up one of the last bags my eyes widened at the sight of a few pregnancy tests and a few boxes of condoms along with different types of pads and liners.

"M-Minho, umm, did-wh-" it was a struggle for me to find the words, it was obvious why, to say I didn't know the consequences of our decisions was a lie. I didn't expect him to be so nonchalant about buying these products though. also how did he know my preference of brand on my period products, did he look in my bathroom drawers? he was quiet during my stuttering and then he smirked at me while getting closer.

"you don't think we got carried away?" I was panicked as he got closer, his lips grazing the still sore mark he made on my neck, He kissed at the tender skin of my neck before lifting me on the counter. I couldn't stop the small yelp from leaving my throat as he licked at the tender wound he'd made.

"as much as I love filling you up with everything I can give, I don't think you want to be a mother" his voice was soft and made me shiver. I could feel his warmth pressing against my own, the memory of how he felt inside when he filled me up, I wanted him one more time without any thoughts or protection. How he could make me feel this way drove me crazy. I had developed a craving for him and the thought of us needing to use protection if we were going to keep doing this was somewhat disappointing.

"please" my voice came out small and pitiful, it was obvious I wasn't paying attention to anything other than my body and his, his hips pressed into mine and my breathing was shallow. I could feel him pressing harder to my center.

"what are you doing to me?" his hands tugged at my sweats, the need to be close to each other was overwhelming, once my sweats came off I tugged open the button of his jeans. His fingers tugged at the cloth covering my wanting home for him and a whine left my mouth as he felt over how wet I had gotten. His fingers played with me while I played with him and brought him to full attention. His free hand tilted my head up as he neared me, his member slipped inside of me with a warm push, he swallowed the moan I let out when his lips pressed to mine. My hands held him close by his hips and his hands gripped at my backside, needy hips grinding against each other, he was panting as he tried to keep a steady pace. He had felt so warm, everything about the moment was desperate and needy, broken moans and whines were all that filled the room air. He was so warm I felt so close to him and I wanted to be this close always. The way he filled me and touched me, grabbing and squeezing, one of his hands stayed firm at my back while his other kept my mouth against his. In a mix of sloppy kisses and whispers of his love for me and mine for him his warm hand slid up the nape of my neck to tug at my hair softly. He had me at his mercy, I wanted to do everything he wanted, his hips never stopped as he kissed at my neck. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he mouthed at my tender skin, pulling louder whines from my throat in a mix of pain and pleasure, our bodies were so close. His hips slowed and his kisses got softer. I could feel the need I still had for him. I wanted him inside of me, all of him, my thighs were spread wide for him but when he slowed I wrapped my legs around to keep him in his spot.

''are you sure you want this?" his words hung in the air and he'd stopped moving. I could feel him throbbing against me and I couldn't help it as I felt myself clench around him. My hips squirmed against him, needing to feel the friction, if this was going to be the last time we could get away with this I wanted all of him.

"I want you inside me, please" He had let out a shaky breath, my words were breathless, and I was desperate to feel him. I needed him, it was terrifying to realize how much, I wanted and needed him in this moment. I couldn't stop the awkward squak that left me when he lifted me off the counter. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as he effortlessly walked me over to the table and laid me down.

"I want to watch you when it happens" His voice was soft and I let out a soft moan at his whisper. I was so deeply in love with this man, his hips started slow again while I spread my thighs for him, his warm hands slid up from my abdomen, under my shirt, to my chest. My own hands covered his, all I wanted was to feel him against me, I looked up at him through the haze of my sight. It took everything in me to make sure I could see him and he could see me. His bottom lip was between his teeth, hair almost covering his hooded eyes, as he stared at the way I reacted to him. I felt one of his hands slowly slide down to where we connected. His fingers pressed to the needy bud and my own fingers wrapped around his wrist to feel him. He felt warm and his fingers were making me tremble against him, I wanted him closer, He felt so far away from me and I was desperate and needy for everything.

"Minho, I want kisses" trying to sound coherent was impossible, this beautiful man was ravishing me and invading all my senses and thoughts with him, his eyes met mine at the sound of my plea. He leaned over me and his warm tongue slipped inside to coax my own to play with his. I could feel the shiver of my orgasm brim over as I whined in his mouth and kissed at him. Without warning I felt bliss take over as my legs wrapped around him and my body trembled against his. I struggled to keep my eyes on him as his hands pressed on the table at either side of my head, his hips stuttered against mine as I felt myself still pulsing around him, he let out a small moan and whine slip out with my name as I felt his warmth spread inside of me. My hands slid around him to bring him closer, his warmth filling me, he forced another shiver from me as I tightened my thighs around him. He was panting in the crook of my neck as he stayed hunched over me.

"I'm going to miss the way that feels" he panted out and I whined out as he brought himself up to face me. I shook my head and brought him closer to hide my face in his neck.

"I'm mad at myself for not having my birth control on me at all times." I whined out, causing him to chuckle at me.

"we need to be careful and this is not us being careful" he groaned and sighed before continuing. "I can't help myself with you, all that waiting made me so frustrated, I just want you more." he kissed at my cheek and then my arm as he pulled me away from him. I groaned at the sore and empty feeling when he slid out of me.

" you look so filled and dirty, my dirty girl" It was almost embarrassing to have him staring at my dripping center, I could feel his warmth seeping out of me, he told me he enjoyed seeing the mess he made with me. I sat up and the ache of laying on the table had stiffened my back. My face turned bright red as I looked down to see the mess seeping from me that had fallen on the kitchen floor. I covered my face in embarrassment and whined out his name.

" why didn't you tell me how messy it was?"

"cause I like it" he kissed at the top of my head and squeezed at my bottom.

"go shower, I can finish up in here" I obeyed him and went to clean myself, though it almost seemed in vain when he joined me in the shower. The sound of the shower curtain opening startled me, causing me to turn and see Minho's bare body, I was almost finished and felt somewhat exposed with my body covered in soap bubbles.

“Minho your bandages” I held my hand out to his chest as he stepped into the shower.

“You can change them for me” he whispers against my lips and a warm kiss under the water almost distracted me. I pushed him away and was relieved to see his bandage was still dry.

“You said you needed sponge baths still” he smirked at me almost in a devilish way.

“We can run a bath together” his voice was inviting and I couldn’t help myself. I had adjusted the shower and started filling the tub. He sat down and the tub was surprisingly wide enough to leave extra room for us. I didn’t want to fill it too much, just enough to wash him and then drain it to rinse him again. Once the water was up to his hip from his seated spot I got ready to wash his hair. His free arm wrapped around my hips and held me close to him as I straddled his thigh to lather his hair in water and shampoo. He was quiet and compliant with me, moving as I directed, he seemed to enjoy it more than anything else. I couldn’t help but stare at his pretty face, the way his head was tilted back with his eyes closed, he looked like a painting. My fingers massaged into his scalp as I washed his hair, he was like a little cat, a warm hum rumbling in his throat at the feeling. After it felt sufficiently clean I squeezed at his shoulder gently and brought him forward to me. I shifted to straddle him and picked up the cup we had been using in the shower, not wanting to risk contaminating his wound, I opened the faucet and let the water run. After filling the cup I gently rinsed his hair while being careful of his bandage. It was mesmerizing how compliant he was, moving where I wanted him, his skin was so beautiful it was hard to believe he was apart of the Mafia Lieutenant’s. I continued with the conditioner and he continued to be a soft compliant kitten, humming in comfort, the second rinse was just as careful.

“Do you want me to take off the bandage?” He opened his eyes slowly, smiled softly at me, before he placed his arms at the edge of the tub and let his head fall back again with his eyes shut. He seemed so tired and I can’t imagine picking me up helped him feel any better. I couldn’t believe I let it slip my mind when he did that. The wrap was new, Minho had leaned back and sat against the tub once it came off, after taking it off I placed it on the small stool we had next to the tub. His wounds looked so much better now, they were stitched closed, there was a coating of what looked like an ointment.

"can I wash it or did he tell you to leave it on ?" I stared at him and his face was unmoving, for someone who trusts so little people in his life he seemed to be so vulnerable in this moment, his eyes were shut with his head tilted back against the tub when he spoke up.

"He said to not irritate it for today, if it looks better tomorrow I can wash it" I continued with the task of washing his body and rubbed the soap in my hands. The more I tried to focus on washing him the more I couldn't help focusing on his reactions to me. He hummed and sighed softly as I spread the body wash over his other shoulder and neck, making sure to get behind his ears, then sliding down to spread it over his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist to bring him forward to wash his back. His body hunched over mine, hovering over the bite mark he had broken skin to make, I could feel his breath against my damp shoulder. His low hum caused a shiver to run down my spine as I rubbed at his back. He hadn't tried to coax me into doing anything more, I couldn't tell if I was disappointed or completely wrong for thinking it, he seemed to really enjoy the moment as it is. When I had gotten down to his hips my eyes widened when I saw him standing at attention again, ignoring it was impossible, I couldn't just skip washing it. My hands wrapped around him and I felt how warm and heavy he was in my hands. His breathing seemed more focused like he was trying to stop himself. I didn’t want to provoke him any more than he already was, just continued to wash him, and fill the tub with more water to rinse him again.

I couldn't stop the nagging in my head at the thought of my late period, given I have not kept track of it and I don't remember the last time I had it, the thought of possibly being pregnant after everything that has happened. The entire situation was enough to make me vomit alone, and adding the stress and worry of being pregnant, it was just something else to add to the list of unbelievable things. Could I really say it was unbelievable if I was making the conscious decision to ignore it in the moment? So much to worry and think about and as I wrapped his new bandage again Minho’s hand found mine. He gave me a look almost like he was asking a question.

"Minho, what happens if we might have made a mistake?" He was soft in the face and it always worries me with how calm he is. His warm hand caressing my face as he responded.

"it's your choice, not mine, I am here to be with you. Whatever you decide is what I want" I sighed and nuzzled into his hand, his warmth calming me, after I finish his wrap I brought him his underwear and helped him take his towel off.

“Do you want a shirt?” He looked so sleepy and shook his head, damp hair bouncing on his head, his hair covered his eyes. I smiled at him and continued to dress myself and put our towels away. He stayed sat at the edge of the bed and held a hand out to me. I took his hand and helped him maneuver himself to lay down. He had brought me to climb over him and I smiled at him with either hand at the side of his face. He smirked up at me and I couldn’t help the urge to leave a soft kiss to his mouth.

I love him, and how comforting he is, god what am I going to do about this?

“M’sleepy” he mumbled out and I laid on his side and nuzzled into his chest, his steady heart and breathing lulling me to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kay so, I am having a very umm strong mafia phase right now, and I have done this with Chan and Minho, for my Mafia Chan I will be making a second part. It is currently in my drafts and I am working on it.

p.s I might post a short like side story that I am working on and I will only show you a sneak peak to keep you interested. If you want to know more about it i have more on my

patreon @Jazz_The_Writer

anyway here's my little sneak peek.

Drunk Mafia Maid Service Chan short.

He was so needy and his hands gripped at me tighter while his tongue continued to violate me in the most sensual way I couldn't help the soft whines I let slip. His fingers dug into my thighs as I bucked into his, he tasted like liquor, he'd come home like this once before. He'd asked me to straddle his thigh and it felt thick, but I had a need to feel closer, he still felt so far away. He didn't usually go out drinking, unless he couldn't avoid it, and we never really spoke about the way he behaved when he did drink. The kiss was so needy and sloppy when I pulled away from him I shyly wiped away the string of saliva. He smirked up at me and I couldn't help it when my leg swung over and I straddled him. His eyes were glossy and looked up at me in awe and the blush I felt over my face made everything so much warmer. His warm hands pawed at my body, squeezing at my back side, feeling over my chest and then his fingers slipped up to wrap around my neck. He pulled me in for another warm and filthy kiss, his tongue continuing to play with me, his mouth swallowed the desperate whine I let out and I couldn't help it when my hips bucked against him again.

“there’s nothing to feel if you do that, baby girl I’m not the best at drunk sex” His words came out in a mumble, he sounded so cute when he was drunk, I was so used to seeing him calm and collected.

“I don’t care about what I’d be feeling, it doesn’t feel good cause my thighs aren’t wide enough and I need to feel you” we were so close, lips almost pressed to each other, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

[autumntouched]

https://at.tumblr.com/angelbabyange/glen-in-australia-looking-like-this-is-absolutely/999xnl4tldzc very much giving honeymoon jake 😮‍💨 both phoenix (and myself) going absolutely feral

😮‍💨🥵😮‍💨 this pic breaks me and yessss this is Jake’s honeymoon look and driving Phoenix and all of us absolutely feral. But two can play that game...

I hope you’re looking for smut, but if not, please stop here because it’s about to get 18+, NSFW. Sorry. Probably not my best work, but I couldn't move on without getting this out of my head and I'm already behind on answering your asks

Aphrodisiac

A light hand brushes her hair from her face, and Jake places a tender kiss on her forehead before leaving the bed. Natasha cracks her eyes open to watch his naked shadow in the pre-dawn dimness. She smiles into her pillow when she notices that he’s already hard. He pulls on linen shorts and the slate shirt that transforms his eyes into hypnotic green orbs. The short sleeve button down is new, and when he wore it to dinner last night she’d lost the thread of their conversation multiple times while appreciating how it looked on him and anticipating how he’d look when she pulled it off. Noticing her drifting gaze, Jake kept preening so obviously that the waiter thought to mention their meal and dessert were aphrodisiacs. That shirt is a fucking aphrodisiac. 

The shirt stays unbuttoned. Hair disheveled from sleep and several almost feral rounds of sex still tingling along her synapses, he grabs his book and steps quietly to the rotating glass doors of their villa. It may be their honeymoon, but Jake is apparently keeping Navy hours. The ocean breeze wafts through the floor to ceiling windows, fluttering the bed’s gauzy canopy. It wakes Natasha a little more.

The floorboards of their secluded, private deck thump hollowly under his feet before he settles onto the infinity pool-side chaise.

Natasha tries to drift back to sleep but thinking of Jake lounging partially dressed feet away floods her with heady arousal and propels her in the opposite direction. She sweeps off the covers and stands into the kiss of the early morning’s warmth. Her white, silk tank and shorts cling to her curves.

She brushes her teeth before following him out to the deck barefoot. Jake’s waiting for her, his book The 48 Laws of Power, lying unopened on the side table. The gaze that passes slowly down her body is all burning desire, hotter than the still rising sun. Wordlessly he opens his legs to her. Natasha slinks over to lower herself between his thighs, her back to his chest and legs stretched along the line of his. She wraps the ends of his shirt around her.

His hardening dick presses eagerly into her lower back, but for now Jake’s content to run his nose along her neck while he plays with the ends of her hair. Natasha closes her eyes and falls into a contented half sleep, lulled by his encompassing heat and the sound of the waves and the birds’ sunrise chorus among the tropical trees. She’s not sure how long she’s drifting in the cradle of his body before his hand makes its way from her hair to palm her breast.

Through the thin fabric, he teases her nipple into an aching peak that darts straight to her core. His chin moves to her shoulder so he can watch every little effect he’s having on her while he caresses and kneads her chest. “I wanted to spend all night touching your tits as soon as I saw you in this,” he says. She can hear the smile in his voice. “I didn’t think I was going to be able to fall asleep.” 

Natasha’s breath hitches at the friction of silk on skin as he rolls her nipples between his fingers, the double stimulation arching her back off his abdomen. Almost involuntarily, her thighs butterfly open. She curls her fingers into the hem of his shirt and bites her lip to restrain the desperate noises trying to escape her throat.

“This making you wet for me?” he murmurs, lips turned toward her ear.

The edges of her vision are already blurring. “Why don’t you see for yourself?” she gasps.

In answer, Jake squeezes her breast and dances his fingers up her inner thigh to the loose hem of her shorts. Her hips jerk to urge him on, and his dick twitches with his own arousal. His breathing gets lower and heavier as he skims the crease of her leg while his other hand pushes its way up her shirt. She presses her back into him when his firm grip closes over her bare chest. 

“Jake,” she whines, taking the forearm of the hand up her shorts and urging him toward her throbbing, heavy core. She can feel his chest rising and falling faster beneath her. He’s denying himself to make her beg, and she’s not above it this early in the morning. “Touch me, please.”

Nor is she in the mood to be patient. She drops his arm and maneuvers two of her fingers into herself, moaning loudly at her own touch.

“Fuck, Nat,” Jake swears. He’s leaking through the linen shorts now. She can feel the dampening spot on her back. Or maybe it’s the sweat pooling there from the growing heat around and within her. She leans her head into his shoulder, panting frantically in tandem with her strokes. He lifts the waistband of her bottoms so he can watch her milk the slickness of her core. “I didn’t realize you needed it so bad.”

“You,” she manages incoherently before gasping when the pads of his fingers land on and circle her clit, matching the pace of her own fingers. Her brain goes staticy with pleasure and need. 

Jake sucks the place where her neck meets her shoulder, and the breath evaporates out of her chest. “I got you, babe. Let me take care of you.”

He tugs at her waistband until she lifts her hips then legs so he can slide off her shorts. They drop to the deck, followed by his shirt. Natasha leans into the pillow of his bare torso and reaches up to draw him into a messy, hungry kiss. But Natasha can’t keep track of his lips, or anything for that matter, once his fingers take over. Like flame to fuel, driving inside her and over her clit, they ignite trillions of infernos across every atom of her being. 

She writhes in his arms, her hips heedlessly chasing combustion on his fingers even as she cries out from the pain laced pleasure of seeking it. Her vision goes dark, bursting with neon lights of ecstasy, although she can no longer tell whether her eyes are open or closed. Only Jake’s arm across her chest seems to keep her from exploding apart. 

Her orgasm erupts over her, her whole body lifting and shuddering with her release.

Natasha lays limply in Jake’s arms, struggling to catch her breath. The air sticks to her dewy skin, and she has to squint against the new daylight. Gently, Jake rubs her core to soothe the overstimulated nerves while he presses tender kisses to her neck, jaw, and cheek. At first all she can hear is the blood rushing through her ears. 

“Babe?” he says, shifting restlessly beneath her on the chaise. 

“Hmm?” she asks blissfully. 

He kisses a spot behind her ear, and she can feel the heat in his cheeks. He groans. “I, uh, need to get up.”

It feels like she’s moving her body against gravity to sit forward and turn to look at him. Jake’s bottom lip is caught between his teeth, his face set in a grimace. Natasha grins and rests a hand on his chest. “I think it’s my turn to help you out.” 

His pupils flood his eyes at the offer, but he ducks his head. “You don’t have to. I was a little rough.” 

She is sore, but he gave her exactly what her body wanted from him. And it’s their honeymoon. Who needs to walk when they have a deck, pool, and the whole day ahead of them right here?

“Come on, cowboy, take me away with you.” 

Jake hesitates then sweeps her up and carries her inside where he lays her across the bed and fucks her slow and deep until she loses the feeling in her face. She can tell from the veins in his arms and grit of his teeth that he’s trying to hold out for her. 

Natasha runs a hand down his torso. Every muscle quivers in the wake of her touch, and he cries out as he nearly comes with the clench of his abs. “Don’t do that,” he pleads raggedly, eyes squeezed shut as he holds himself still.

“Jake?” He still can’t look at her. “Jake,” she says more firmly. “Look at me.” His eyes flutter open, unfocused and dark. The handsome planes of his face are stretched taut. “I want to feel you come.” 

Whether it’s her words or the slight tilt of her hips, he moans and his dick throbs twice against her walls before he spills himself inside her. Natasha savors every pulse that coats her core with his hot come, the tingling sensations they send up her abdomen to her breasts. But most of all, she loves when his weight folds over her so that every line and point of their bodies blend into one.

He rests his face in the crook of her neck while she strokes the back of his hair. “Can I wear your shirt today?” 

“Yeah, babe,” he says, exhaling a hot laugh onto her skin. “But I can’t promise how long it’ll stay on.” 

Natasha laughs. “Seems only fair.” 

The shirt, along with the rest of what she’s wearing, almost comes off as soon as he sees her pull it on with her sunhat, black string bikini, and espadrilles. Jake won’t admit it, and heaven help whoever looks at her the wrong way or crosses a boundary, but he’s the kind of guy who likes when other men look at her but know she’s his. So their afternoon at the poolside bar with her in his shirt drives him absolutely wild and leaves them both too wiped to consider anything other than room service for dinner. Which she doesn’t mind because she gets to enjoy it from the comfort of her husband's lap.

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[pinkdreamblossom]

I've always been drawn to spirituality and metaphysics. It seems to be inherited from both of my parents.

My mom used to (actually I'm sure she still does) listen to Coast to Coast AM every night to lull her to sleep. I was scared of the dark and a lot of other things as a child so I slept in her bed a lot. I have no idea how she falls asleep listening to that show. I would be either intrigued or terrified as George Noory and his guests would talk about things such as aliens, ghosts, and pyramids.

She also used to take me on walks and point out which wild plants and flowers could be eaten or made into tea, and we'd enjoy a bite together.

I remember she had this huge book that was about astrology. I loved to bring it out during sleepovers so we could all read about our signs and gasp at how accurate it could be.

She also taught me how to pray the rosary.

My parents split up during my early years, and it wasn't long before my dad had this new girlfriend who was an old highschool sweet heart. She became an inspiration to me. I received some books from her; The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and The Ringing Cedar Series. Reading these through 8th and 9th grade opened the door to spiritual practices that forever changed my life, and I felt a potent calling from nature. I began meditating and seeking "enlightenment". I was even gifted a pointed quartz crystal (which mysteriously disappeared) by my aunt who practiced reiki. I had no idea the significance of crystals or how reiki was suppose to work at the time.

It wasn't until I was around the age of 18 that I made the connection to what I believed with witchcraft and paganism. Once I did, I took a visit to Pyewackets, the local witch shop, and purchased my first tarot deck. Along with that, I scoured the local thrift shops and managed to find a Silver Ravenwolf.

Let's fast forward a few years. I got deep into it. The forest was my church and the Fae eventually became my guides. For years I was learning and diving deep into the otherworld. I dove so deep I began to feel like I was drowning. Chaos and isolation started to wreak havoc on my well being. It wasn't just developing my practice anymore; it became escapism and there was no firm ground to stand on.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Jesus showed himself to me. My world flipped upside down. I felt like I could breathe again and I had firm footing and a good foundation. I decided anything remotely pagan would have to go. I even stopped studying herbalism because I associated it with witchcraft to heavily to stomach it. Legalism started to creep around me.

I eventually broke loose from the evangelical, protestant worldview as my desire to work with the elements and nature grew within me again.

I decided that suppressing my natural and inherited inclination towards a mystic outlook wasn't healthy, just as it's unhealthy to suppress your sexuality.

Yesterday, a ritual bath took place that was an initiation back into my pagan ways, guided by God.

I feel more connected to my spirituality then ever before. I'm so blessed and I hope others who experience a conflict between Christianity and Paganism can embrace themselves as who they are just as Jesus would. I know I won't always be accepted for this, and I know it will be hard at times. But I've never been truer to myself until now and no one can take that away from me.

I'm back, witches.

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

I had a meltdown over my stomach last night. About my ass, thighs, everything that jiggles. I don't know what possessed me to try to put a pre-pregnancy outfit on only two weeks after the baby was born but it was so bad I locked the bedroom door.

For two hours.

We were supposed to go out and stay gone overnight, my mother in law set to watch the baby and oddly enthusiastic about getting rid of us for the evening.

"Everything okay in there? You all right?"

My husband had given me a full hour before checking on me, he must know something about my clothes that I had to find out the hard way.

"I'm fine." I really tried to sound like I had not been crying but failed miserably.

"Hey...what's that? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not." He jiggles the door handle HARD, aaaaand I should probably stop him before he rips it out completely. "I'm not physically injured in here. I'm not dying."

I hear a soft thud, and a softer Ukrainian curse as the light from under the door disappears. He must have parked. "But are you emotionally injured? I care about that too, you know."

I don't want to say yes because it's stupid. Two weeks postpartum is not a lot of time, and my old clothes aren't supposed to fit yet. I'm having a very roundly unreasonable expectation of myself and I try really hard not to do that.

"Yeah."

"Okay, well...you wanna reason it out or just sit with it for a while?" He's too nice to me, and it makes me cry some more. When will the hormones subside enough for me to stop crying all the time? "Milyy...let me in please. I won't say anything, I won't DO anything." Gotdamn, being around his Mama and her accent is really making his come out and if I didn't feel so ugly right now I'd jump his bones fer shure.

So I let him in and as it turns out, my husband is a filthy liar. The first thing he does is wrap me in his arms and pick me up. The second is ask me how he can fix whatever the hell is wrong with me.

"I just thought I'd bounce back faster."

He sets me down, and takes hold of my hands, his face extremely solemn. "Just bounce back on this dick and we'll figure the rest out later." I have to sit down at the foot of the bed after that one, his face is still very serious. "Why are you laughing? Bounce back faster...you're welcome to go at your own pace as far as Vlad is concerned."

"Stop."

He finally cracks just the tiniest smile possible. "Fine, fine. Pretend you don't know how many atrocities I'd commit just to get into those leggings."

"But..."

"Go on...feign ignorance as much as you want, I like it." He comes to stand in front of me, and lays his hand softly on the side of my face. "My sweet bunny, so silly. Upset over a little outfit when have the power to own my ass for the rest of my life. What's it like to be so silly, baby?"

I'm not really able to speak at the moment, looking up at him as his eyes go slightly dark, his tone so smooth and deep that I feel like I'm being lulled to sleep. I don't say anything until he hums...I guess he actually expects an answer.

"Not great."

"Well..." he bends down to kiss the tickly spot just below my ear. "Then let me make you feel better."

[foreverrogers]

okay but what about,,,,aftercare with peter,,,and the way he gently cleans you off before pulling you to his chest and kissing you softly OKAY I NEED TO STOP MAKING MYSELF CRY

AFTERCARE WITH PETER!!!!!!

you're a few years deep into your relationship so peter is no stranger to having a hand towel ready at your bedside to clean you up. mostly because by the time he's done with you you're both too spent to get up, heavy breath and smiles pressed into lazy kisses as you both settle into your post-orgasmic haze.

you sigh when you feel the soft fabric between your legs, graces the inside of your thighs as peter brings his hand up to cup your cheek, lips brushing your jaw as he speaks. "there you go. took me so well, honey, wish you could see how beautiful you look right now." he brings his face up to yours, asks if you're okay before he tosses the cloth on the floor beside the bed.

you nod, wriggle a little beneath his weight, already missing the fullness of his cock inside you. "yeah, i'm perfect. thank you." your voice is whisper-quiet, breathed into the contours of your smile as you catch his lips in a short, sweet kiss.

"yeah, course you are." another kiss, all teeth and smiles and short giggles rising out of the back of your throat. "my pretty girl, perfect and all mine. c'mere."

his lips are still on yours even as he's rolling onto his back and pulling you onto his chest, feels all the love in his chest ready to burst, like it might start oozing out of his pores as your warm hand slips over his stomach to wrap your arm around his middle.

he wraps the covers around your shoulders, presses a kiss to your hair as you lay your cheek against his chest, feel the warmth and the steady rhythm of him against your skin and let it lull you into a gentle sleep.