#And with things likely to be rather messy for Ed and Stede for a bit

[saltpepperbeard]

y’all. what if

what if we get a dream sequence where ed is longing for what could have happened, what should have happened. like, we see the same few beats of him on the dock, calling out for stede and looking increasingly concerned. but then the brush behind him rustles, and stede actually stumbles out into view.

and ed’s face breaks out into the most relieved, beautiful smile, and there’s this very dreamy sequence of them breathing each other’s names and running to each other. they of course hug each other tightly, maybe even kiss, before ed murmurs something like, “was worried for a second. thought i’d lost you.”

only for stede to go “oh, no. you’ll never ever lose me.”

...and then ed wakes up in the gutted darkness of the captain’s quarters. alone.

[bougiebutchbinch]

horrid smut idea came to me in a quite literal fever haze

(18+ under cut, cw for badly negotiated polyamory where Izzy is left feeling used & sad)

sooooo Stede Bonnet has a horsecock, right?? and Ed might like taking it up the ass now and then, but that thing could poke out an eye! He has self preservation!

Unfortunately, Ed's very well hung himself. Stede's never been with a bloke before, and the first time they try with Ed topping, even with lots of prep it's uncomfortable and miserable for both of them.

No problemo, right? They're perfectly happy to have non-penetrative sex. They're in love and discovering new things about each other - so what else matters?

But then Ed has the GENIUS idea of getting an Izzy-shaped filling in this sandwich!! He's had Izzy fuck him before and it was fine. He's pretty sure Stede could hande him, too! And Izzy's always been a bit of a size queen, for want of a better word - he looooves to take it. So, obviously, he'll be into getting reamed by either one of them!

And it's just sex, right? It doesn't have to be complicated! Ed's made it clear that he's not gonna leave Stede for Izzy, but that doesn't mean they can't still fuck. Right? Right...???? And, Stede confesses, he is a little taken with Izzy, especially with his rather magnificent chest...

So, whenever Ed and Stede wanna do penetrative stuff, they ask Izzy if he wants to be a proxy. He can fuck one of them while getting fucked by the other. It's perfect for everyone, right? Stede and Ed get to have sex while lovingly staring into each other's eyes - and Izzy gets to have sex with Ed, and just gets fucking laid in general, which (Stede hopes) will make him marginally less of a demon while on deck.

I.e., they basically start a kinky throuple where Izzy is kinda in the middle but also sidelined, but, because this is the eighteenth century and nobody has read a BDSM manual, they don't talk it through

Izzy, despite being starved for physical affection, never seems hugely enthusiastic about this arrangement. But he always shows up at the allotted time and seems to enjoy himself. He never stays the night - and over the weeks, as Stede and Ed start to genuinely catch feelings for their grumpy first mate, they start to notice.

Internally, Izzy is stuck between 'subby horniness at being used', 'misery that his captains are only using him as a toy so they can fuck each other (or.... so he thinks....)', and 'fury at himself for a l w a y s going along with it, no matter how often he tells himself it's the last time'. He's licking up the scraps of their affection and telling himself it's a full meal, but in actuality, he's always left curled up alone on his cold cot, arms wrapped around himself, empty and wanting, longing for more.

Of course, Stede and Ed start to pick up on this, and make an effort to try and absorb Izzy into their relationship, in every way. When they start being far more affectionate outside of just sex, Izzy doesn't know whether to be suspicious or just freak the fuck out. Doesn't know if they mean it, or if they're just accidentally - or even on purpose - taunting him with what he can't have. Cue lots of angst, drama, and Izzy having a big messy public break up with them and rowing away in a dinghy to the nearest port.

But, of course, Ed and Stede work together to win him back in the end...

Anyway, I just want Stede and Ed romancing Izzy and making him feel wanted and loved.... but also Izzy being used as their Specialest Little Sex Toy on the regular. Pwease.....

[spoiltizzy]

Ed and Stede beach holiday where they get stupid drunk on cocktails and smash enough BBQ to feed six people. People nearby are taking bets on who is going to blow first.

ok this is so fun. one of the things i’m imagining is that people around them have seen stede go from…

well he’s not exactly reserved, but he was sort of… very neat, he wasn’t dressed for the beach and he seemed to resent the sand and sun and water for making the three-piece suit he’d elected to wear so inconvenient, rather than the other way around. he seemed sort of awkward and a little uncomfortable, and he was really anything but messy.

to, now… he’s sloppily drunk and he’s stuffed and most of his clothes have been discarded. he’s found board shorts at some point to replace what he had been wearing. at first, he’d been sort of politely muffling his burps so anxiously it had seemed almost like he expected to be punished for them. well… he’s sort of forgotten about that now. completely.

ed certainly finds it fascinating, though he’s really in no better state than stede to do much pondering about anything. seeing stede just let go like this is hot somehow, and for some reason that includes when stede burps aloud like he just doesn’t give a fuck that he looks like such a glutton.

and the bystanders are sort of morbidly curious about both of them, in a way. like, they’ve gotta stop at some point! they’re gonna fucking pop. but they’re just not stopping. like, fucking hell, how much can these guys eat? their stomachs are distended and packed so full, taut. their posture and the way they move have all shifted to accomodate their swollen, overstuffed middles. how much they’ve packed into their stomachs is emphasised by the way their chests and little bit of pudgy lower belly remain soft and jiggly around their stretched firm upper bellies. and they’re still going.

are they even able to stop?

they’re pliant, loose-limbed, giggly. stede’s flushed bright red and ed has hiccups that jostle a burp out of him every time.

in the end nobody will serve them any more cocktails and their appetites are controlled by the fact they physically cannot get up to get any more food.

[linssikeittomies]

Teaser for Pivot Points

Masterpost / AO3

I think I'm fucking finally at the point where chapter 3 only needs a few more scenes and some editing! (and knowing me, saying this will lead into several more scenes and a lot more editing...) I can't say that I'm proud of this chapter but I seriously want to get it done before new year... So here's a little teaser so I'll feel obligated to post sooner rather than 5 years later.

--

[Ed and Stede] do a bit of shopping, then head back to the ship to get ready - hours earlier than needed. Stede explains that he’s just nervous and wants to make a good impression. Ed says that Izzy would really be more impressed by a messy and dirty cabin, but he doesn’t mention it would be a bad sort of impressed. It doesn’t work anyway, Stede is set on making things as clean and pretty as humanly possible.

Once the knock comes, Stede gives one final smoothing to his immaculate clothes and hair. He opens the door to a pouting Izzy, who at least has the decency to have put on clean clothes - that particular linen shirt isn't Ed's, even though by all logic that one should still be clean. So she might have gone back to being just Izzy, then. This one is probably Lucius', Ed thinks he's seen the scribe wearing it before. They should do laundry soon, Ed is also starting to run out of clean clothes.

 “Right, let’s get this over with”, Izzy grumbles.

Stede doesn’t let the grumpiness get him down, thankfully. “Lovely of you to join us! I thought we might start with some aperitifs, would you care for some vermouth?”

 “Iz doesn’t really drink”, Ed informs him before Izzy can make a more scathing remark. He can’t remember the last time Izzy was properly drunk, at most he’ll allow himself to get tipsy, but it must’ve been before the Pants Incident, maybe even before Gideon died. So it’s been a long time, but Ed still remembers how he acts when he’s had a bit too much - gets soft and sleepy, more easy with his affections. Girly, as Izzy calls it, with contempt.

So Ed doesn’t remember the last time Izzy got properly drunk, but he does remember the last time Izzy asked for her hand to be held, and he remembers even better how in the morning she went from Missy Izzy back to First Mate Hands, and vehemently denied ever having liked getting his hair stroked and saying the words I love you.

Ed wonders if he still feels the same. Sturdy, but pliant under the right touches. If he would still make the same noises.

 “Oh? Not even wine? That’s a shame. I have a bottle of Tokay from an excellent year”, Stede mourns.

 “Even I’m gonna need some liquid courage to get through this”, Izzy mutters as Stede guides him to the table, and for a second Ed wants Stede to put his hand on the small of Izzy’s back.

Izzy might not be the only one who needs a drink.

He sits down heavily at the seat he used when Ed came to convince him to eat, and talk some things through.

Ed doesn’t know if it’s significant. It’s the seat next to Stede, closest to the door, furthest from Ed. Stede pours them all a tiny glass of the vermouth, dry and spicy. Izzy looks at it with disdain, and downs it one go. Then makes a face.

 “Stronger than you thought, right?” Ed laughs, and sips his daintily, brushing aside the memory of their first drunken kiss. “Want me to top your glass?”

 “Please - as the host, let me”, Stede intervenes.

Izzy downs this glass just as fast the first one.

 “You’re supposed to savor it”, Stede pouts.

 “I’ll savor it once I’m drunk enough to tolerate this farce”, Izzy shoots back and motions for another glass. Stede lets out a long-suffering sigh and does as requested.

Izzy lets the third pour in peace, Ed notices, and is sure Stede doesn’t miss it either. Izzy's awkwardness about being nice would be cute if it wasn't so goddamn annoying.

 “So. Here I am”, Izzy grumbles, purposely antagonistic. Ed gives him a warning look, which Izzy ignores with glee. “What’s for dinner.”

This is Stede in his element.

 “For appetizers we have boiled corn and onion bread rolls - I was hoping for garlic, but alas, the store has run dry. Our main course is Cheshire pork pie, with a side of pickled cucumbers, for wine we have a red Bordeaux, but you may of course opt for water if you’d prefer. And finally, for dessert, Roach has prepared apple tarts - they might be on the simple side, but I assure you they’re quite delicious.”

Ed has been watching Izzy’s face with amusement - at first it’s just annoyed, then as the list goes on it grows first into disbelief, then amazement, and finally outrage.

 “Fucking hell, you eat like this every day?”

 “No, no! Well, not anymore. This is a special occasion.”

Ed is surprised that Izzy doesn’t push the issue, since he hates excess and luxury. Instead, he takes a sip of his aperitif, savors it discreetly to buy himself some time, but it’s not enough and he can’t think of what to say.

Ed saves his hide and pride. “How’s work gone so far?”

 “We should redo the rigging completely”, Izzy responds flatly, in his element again - complaining. “It’s not an efficient arrangement. We should make port and overhaul the whole thing.Find a sailmaker.”

 “Is it in that bad of a condition?” Stede asks, worried.

 “Nah, but a sailmaker’s always good to have onboard”, Ed says.

Izzy suggests a port, and Stede promises to consider it. Then he tries some light conversation, but it doesn’t work out the way he hoped - Izzy is either thorny or tight-lipped. So they switch back to more professional matters, and even if Stede is a little disappointed, he’s also happy that Izzy is taking part without being properly drunk. Just tipsy enough that he doesn’t feel the need to be an asshole, and Stede is always happy to learn something new. They end up talking mostly about ship maintenance, for a good few hours. It lets Ed drown himself in a few more pleasant memories as he lingers on the outskirts of the conversation, offering only a few words here and there, between longing looks at Stede's hands and Izzy's face. It's gotten a lot older since they first met. It's comforting. Knowing it's still here, after all they've been through together. Hornigold, the Kraken, Stede. It won't run away from him.

The drinks undoubtedly help Iz to forget keep track of time, or he would’ve left right after finishing his food. He also forgets to act like he’s been forced here as a prisoner. It’s rare to see him wound down like this, which might be the reason he drinks so rarely in the first place - doesn’t like having his guard down and his image ruined. He’s not a happy drunk, per se, unless he starts in a good mood. But he does always get a little absentminded no matter his starting point.

 “We should do this again soon”, Stede suggests happily as he nurses his second cup of tea - the one he hadn’t had the heart to sell. Aforementioned absentmindedness must be the reason Iz replies with a simple sure instead of a complaint, and the cup of quality coffee from the same haul as the tea can only help matters. Ed sees the surprise on Stede’s face and lifts a finger to his lips - better shush him before he says something to make Iz notice his lapsus.

 “But we need supplies”, Iz continues thoughtfully. “We should be running low on flour and potatoes.”

 “Roach told you?”

 "Lucius. He - spends a lot of time in the stores."

 “I wonder how Roach keeps track of everything, since he can’t read", Stede muses out loud, completely missing the fact that his scribe's favorite noodling spot is right next to everyone's food.

 “He can count and he has experience”, Iz explains, not very thoroughly.

 “He should count more sugar, we’re constantly running out”, Ed butts in, trusting Iz to latch onto that.

 “You know it’s because you put seven damn lumps in each cup! It’s undrinkable at that point you damn sugar mite!”

 “It’s not the right amount of sweet otherwise!”

 “Just eat it straight! That’s what you’re basically doing anyway!”

 “So I like sweet things. That a crime now?”

 “Unmanly is what it is”, Iz whines, in a not very manly fashion.

 “Being unmanly is fun every now and then. As you know.”

 “I guess”, Iz amends, and grins faintly. Then suddenly he remembers Stede isn’t supposed to know about that, and he jumps up, pointing an accusing finger at Ed. “The fuck I’d know! Whatever he’s been saying about me, it’s not true!” he tries to convince Stede, who has no idea what either of them is talking about.

 “I promise Ed has only said good things about you”, Stede tries to calm him, and it’s a lie. Ed has complained about Iz plenty.

 “Well of course it was good for him!”

 “You seemed to like it plenty”, Ed teases before he gets hold of his drunken brain. He didn’t mean to ruin the night, he didn’t want to make Iz feel bad, he doesn’t want Iz running off and cutting their night short when they were getting along so well. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

 “Yeah, it was!” Iz yells angrily, but there’s an edge of panic in there.

 “I haven’t told him. Haven’t told anyone”, Ed promises. He really hasn’t. Not just for safety, but also because Iz has always been so dead set on hiding Missy Izzy from others.

 “You really haven’t?”

 “I haven’t.”

Iz deflates with relief and sits back down. Everyone is silent for a while, mood definitely ruined, and Ed is mentally kicking himself in the head.

 “Well”, Stede finally says awkwardly. “I suppose it’s nearing bedtime. I could read us all a story - or, less read and more telling from memory. Seeing as how all my books of fairytales were thrown out.”

Iz barks a laugh at that, and the coffee nearly sloshes out from his cup. Ed makes an apologetic face, even though Stede has already forgiven him for throwing out all his stuff.

 “You ninnies have fun crying over children’s stories, I’m going to bed.”

And Iz gets on his wobbly feet. Ed wants to offer his help, but with their new strained relationship Iz isn’t likely to accept - and Ed’s in a volatile enough state of mind to not know how he would react if Iz rejected him.

 “We’ll get you to attend one of these days”, he boasts instead. Izzy rolls his eyes and gets going.

 "This was a lovely evening, we should do it again soon!" Stede calls after him, and Iz gives him the bird. But doesn't say no.

[edactually]

Stede POV - 6.1

Ed didn’t come over on Saturday. It was for the best, Stede thought, it would give them a bit of breathing space. He didn’t think that Ed was lying about being busy, but he still could have been giving Stede the brush off. Band meetings and rehearsals were an easy way to avoid seeing or speaking to him after all, and looking back on his texts, Stede did think that he’d been rather clingy with Ed. 

What had he been thinking, texting Ed daily? And that stupid ‘good morning sunshine’ nonsense? No wonder Ed was suddenly so busy, he was probably grateful for the chance to get away from Stede who had interpreted a couple of kisses as a chance for something more.

The more time they had spent apart this week, the more Stede had been able to gain some clarity on their situation. Ed was more experienced than he was for a start, and Stede at least had some understanding of the life of rockstars and their groupies from what he’d seen in films and television. More often than not, the adrenaline after a show led to some��� promiscuous situations.

And that was completely fine, totally understandable. While he may not have understood it in practice, Stede could understand in theory the need for an outlet for all that energy after a big show. That’s what he had been, why Ed had been all over him. It wasn’t because he really wanted Stede, it was because he had been there. 

Ed had felt emotional and overwhelmed and so he’d channelled those feelings into seeking comfort from someone he was close to. Maybe Ed even thought it would be good practice for Stede to try something a little more intense. Ed was considerate enough to do something like that for him.

As much as he wanted something more with Ed, Stede knew that it just wasn’t going to happen. The best he could hope for was friends with benefits. The benefits would be fantastic, but the way Ed had described it didn’t sound like something he could manage.

‘We fuck, and that’s it. No strings attached, no feelings, no mess. Just getting each other off then going about our days.’

No feelings.

Stede knew if he began sleeping with Ed then there was no going back. There was no way he’d be able to keep his feelings platonic, he was already struggling with that as it was. And then Stede would do something stupid like blurting out that he wanted to date him and Ed would have to dump him like a sack of potatoes for being so clingy.

Casual, uncomplicated, no strings attached. That’s what Ed wanted.

It wasn’t something Stede could give him.

Sooner or later, it would just get messy and then their friendship would be completely ruined. As much as he desired Ed, he could handle not having him physically if it meant they could stay friends. If his other option was to lose Ed from his life completely when Stede inevitably ruined things, then he would happily remain celibate. It was basically how he’d lived his life the last few years, so he could handle it.

Then again, he hadn’t had someone like Ed to lust over before.

No, he could handle it. 

Best for them both to have a clean slate, and for Stede to nip any suggestion of friends with benefits in the bud before it came up. He doubted Ed would have really suggested it even after their passionate make-out session, but he still thought it best to stop any chance of it happening. Stede knew if Ed asked him then he’d be too weak to say no.

Stede could have sworn he felt disappointment radiating from Ed’s response when he’d replied to Stede’s suggestion that they just remain friends. Perhaps that was wishful thinking, perhaps it was just that Ed thought it was a shame he’d have to seek out his dalliances elsewhere, perhaps he was completely unfazed. It was difficult to understand the tone through words on a screen.

He stared at his phone screen for the rest of the day, fingers twitching to write a reply:

‘Forget what I said, the physical stuff is back in the table’

‘Fuck it, let’s just go for being friends with benefits because now that I know what kissing you is like, I can’t stand to be without it’

‘Come over tonight and let me show you exactly what I wanted to do on the roof of Spanish Jackie’s’

‘I know you’re going on tour soon so you’re just looking for some casual fun, but would you consider a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve only known for two weeks?’

Stede didn’t have the guts to send any of them.

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[chuplayswithfire]

Since you asked if anyone wanted to correct you - sure, here goes.

Yes, this post does come across as racist, and the punchline of "brown man was faking being incompetent at cleaning to trick his white partner into satisfying him sexually (by tricking him into strip teases) doesn't... actually diminish that.

The post starts out with stating that Izzy is sick and tired of Ed leaving his dirty laundry everywhere. This is the establishing fact of the scenario, and it consists of positioning Izzy as the neat one concerned with cleaning and keeping things tidy and Ed as the messy one who fails to keep spaces clean.

Given that Ed is canonically fastidious - examples include pointedly noting that Stede's crew is grubby, keeping his own gear quite clean alongside his crews, taking interest in Stede's soap to the point that when he leaves he doesn't want a bit of the nice brandy or the marmalade only the lavender soap, he doesn't like pets because they befoul aka create messes on the ship, and he clean up his living quarters immediately upon feeling even slightly better about having his heartbroken (at which point he says he "can't believe I (he) was living like this", meaning he doesn't traditionally live in messy conditions - positioning Ed as the messy one in this scenario does feel pretty racist, yeah.

The one and only time we see Ed being messy, he cleans it up of his own volition and without prompting. The idea that he would live in a state of mess regularly enough for anyone to be bothered by it isn't grounded in his actual character in the show, it's something fans add onto his character, and given the racial history behind assuming white people are clean and organized and non-white people are not, yeah, it's not a good look.

And like I said at the beginning, positioning it as Ed is weaponizing incompetence to trick his partner into stripping for him, is also not an idea without some fuckery afoot.

Furthermore, neurodivergence comes in many forms of expression, so saying he might be neurodivergent is not a reason to project messiness onto Ed when in canon there are multiple examples of him being neat and preferring cleanliness, and in fact, white neurodivergent fans across fandoms have been and should continue to be called out for projecting attributes, characteristics, and symptoms of various neurodivergences onto characters of color even when they don't suit the character, because it's often part of a pattern of white people needing characters of color to be personally relatable by being 'Just Like Me', made more palatable by having this commonality, rather than embracing the characters as they were written.

Projecting onto characters is not a neutral act that is automatically free of racism. Even if someone is projecting because they like a character, they should be considering if what they're projecting has racial implications, and what the underlying causes of their assumptions and projections might be.

yuck! (saw yet another post about izzy getting annoyed at ed for being messy/unclean, a concept which is contradicted by canon and is entirely based on racism)

[sidewalk-scrawls]

OKAY time to talk about Izzy’s code of honor.

People often claim that Izzy is unusual by pirate standards because of his code of honor, and while I think that’s mostly true (he’s very, very big on rules even when they’re to his detriment), I don’t think it’s the whole picture. I’d argue that it’s not really Izzy’s moral code itself that makes him unusual – Instead, it’s his consistent adherence to that code even when other people violate it.

You know that phrase “honor among thieves?” That’s Izzy, I think – A good chunk of his code of honor seems to specifically apply to other criminals (think pirates and fences). This, by the way, is why Izzy claims that Stede stealing back his hostage is specifically “unprofessional” – Stede is claiming to be a pirate, and pirates don’t ambush other pirates. This is also more than likely why Izzy challenges Stede to a duel (and offers him the chance to yield!), rather than just stabbing him when his back is turned.

Now, admittedly, this framing gets a bit messy when you consider the original plan for the Revenge crew (make them repair the ship and then execute them) – How does Izzy justify that via his moral code? There are a few ways he could (the Revenge crew are not really pirates and are too incompetent to join the crew, robbing them is payment for the crew who died during that attack on the Navy ship, etc), but honestly, I doubt that he bothers! Izzy “above all else loyalty to your captain” Hands doesn’t need to justify the killing because Ed ordering it is justification enough. (Somewhat ironically, this is almost the exact opposite of how Ed contextualizes violence – He views his hands as clean of blood because he’s not the one doing the actual killing. I’m not convinced anyone on this ship is accepting responsibility for these particular types of murders lmao)

So if we accept that this is the moral framework that Izzy is working within (there are other possibilities, for sure, but this at least fits with what we know so far), that brings us to our next question – Is this framework actually unusual for pirates? 

Within the show so far, we don’t really have much evidence for that one way or another – Stede certainly doesn’t display this sort of code of honor, but he’s also… not really a pirate. And while we see Spanish Jackie sell Stede and his crew out to the Navy in episode 3, since it’s an act of retribution, it doesn’t actually violate the above code. In general, we just don’t see enough interactions between pirates to say what goes as standard.

So instead of trying to frame this in the context of the show, I’m going to instead assess it through a social context. The concept of “honor among thieves” exists for a reason – There are a lot of cases where this particular brand of honor can be incredibly beneficial. In particular, it makes it much easier to work with other criminals. In Izzy’s case, his honor code likely makes it far easier to build alliances with other pirates, which generally speaking, is a good thing to be able to do. (The ease with which Izzy builds an alliance with Spanish Jackie and Calico Jack also suggests he’s at least decent at this.)

It’s also helpful for building stronger relationships with potential business partners. This is likely part of why Izzy was able to buy the hostages from the tribe in episode 2 – Presumably, there was already an established relationship there. Pirates also need to work with fences to sell their goods, and that sure goes smoother if there’s at least a modicum of trust (i.e., the pirates and the fence can present goods and/or money and not immediately be violently robbed lol). So yes, you attack and rob merchants, but you don’t attack pirates or other potential business partners without cause.

Anyway, considering how mutually beneficial this type of honor code can be, I doubt Izzy is the only one operating within this framework. The thing that makes Izzy unusual, though, is the sheer tenacity with which he grips this code of honor and refuses to let go. This is a pretty major flaw on Izzy’s part (I’m sorry, Izzy) because this type of moral code only works if both parties are willing to stick with it. Stede, unfortunately, is incredibly good at exacerbating this flaw – Every single time Stede and Izzy interact, Izzy ends up losing because Stede doesn’t care about Izzy’s rules. He’s perfectly happy to cheat and trick and, in general, do whatever is necessary to win.

Now, if Izzy were a more flexible person, this would not necessarily be an issue! I’m thinking again about Nicky Case’s The Evolution of Trust, a game theory simulator where you play against an AI, either cooperating or cheating, to collect coins. You win the most coins if you cheat and your opponent cooperates, and lose the most if you cooperate while your opponent cheats. If you and your opponent both cooperate, you’ll land in the middle.

The very short summary of this (although I recommend playing the game if you have 30 minutes!) is that building trust by cooperating tends to land you the best results overall. But it’s also important to be able to recognize when that trust was broken, and protect yourself if necessary.

This, I think, is Izzy’s major flaw, and also what makes him unusual among pirates. When Stede ignores the code that Izzy follows, what Izzy should do is follow his code a bit less fervently. Of course, this is not a thing that Izzy can do. I’m not sure it would even occur to him as a possibility! So Izzy’s refusal to break the rules puts him at an immense disadvantage to Stede, meaning he loses and loses and loses.

[drunkonsmut]

I’ve been thinking (oh dear) about how Ed and Izzy’s relationship usually is, how they usually work with Blackbeard, because we mostly see them interact in the extraordinary circumstance of Stede’s pirate adventure. We get some glimpses at the beginning, with Izzy coming back to update Edward and the early scenes in the Revenge. For the most part their interactions are easy and comfortable, Izzy speaks to him softly and calls him Ed and Edward in private. There’s familiarity in their back and forth. Even when Izzy considers that Ed is acting or thinking weirdly, like the orders to follow the Revenge and the frankfurter clouds scene, he goes along with the orders with a bit of a grumble and/or and humors Ed. When we do see him explode on Edward (and generally) it’s when he seems to be at the end of his rope. The resignation speech, when he is about to row away after the duel, and of course the provocation at the end of the season. When he disobeys Ed it’s always in regard to the threat that Stede represents, the duel and later selling him out to the British.

We know Ed is tired, but so is Izzy. He constantly has this exhausted air about him, and in the resignation speech it’s clear that he is letting out steam that has being accumulating for a long time and the swapping clothes joke when they should be thinking about what do about the Spanish was the last ridiculous straw for Izzy’s patience then.  Ed has some leeway as captain to act as he pleases, but Izzy as first mate must respond when Ed doesn’t (decide on a plan and such), must act as a buffer between Ed and the crew if the captain messed up or is reckless, etc. Ed listens to Izzy but often acts rather dismissive, he knows Izzy will do whatever he asks and doesn’t really step up to assure much beyond the scene where he promises to kill Stede. He knows he needs Izzy around to keep running things and to worry for the practical stuff while they are on the Revenge. By the time the duel happens, Izzy is probably desperate to get back to the Queen Anne. It’s been like two weeks on Stede’s ship, Ed has essentially taken an impromptu vacation and gives no sign of wanting to end it. Ed doesn’t do much to stop or reassure Izzy when he rows away, all jilted and upset. Izzy disobeyed him and he’ll just deal with him later.

Their relationship is as much in a rut as Ed feels as Blackbeard. Their positions in the crew have them working together all the time, day in and day out, and they likely made a fabulous team for a long time. Now Blackbeard and his crew/fleet are a well-oiled machine that still needs a lot of maintenance and work, and in recent time it’s probably Izzy who deals with a lot of the tedious, day to day stuff. They are exhausted, yet as pirates they don’t have much choice but to keep going.

It makes me wonder how much the Blackbeard persona can be considered a shared enterprise of sorts, something that has allowed them (and their crew) to survive as a team of outlaws for so long.  Ed is Blackbeard, his creation built on his actions and exploits. His fearsome and terrifying reputation grew in collaboration with other people as we are told that Ed himself hasn’t killed anyone with his own hands since his father (that he knows of). He is violent but has been delegating that last big dirty job to other people like Izzy and crew (which allows him to add some distance between himself and those deaths). It’s a character maintained by himself, his team, and other people’s rumors.

We can perceive Izzy’s fixation with the concept a of Blackbeard as his personal idea of Ed as an individual, but I think if they’ve been captain and first mate for so long, they’ve seen each other at many highs and lows. As the very human, messy people they are. Ed doesn’t really put a front for Izzy all the time. He is not oblivious to Ed’s moods as can be appreciated in the early episodes and he is privy to Ed’s heartbreak at the end, and initially tried to cover things for the crew until Ed felt better (like he has probably done in the past).  So yeah, it all makes me wonder if the preoccupation with Blackbeard and what it represents stems also from worry/fear/uncertainty not only for Ed but for what they’ve built and worked for to survive as they have until now. They haven’t gotten to that point in the high seas wrapped in silk gowns. Maybe Ed is not the only one trapped by Blackbeard.

[straightupsickfics]

no one asked for this but i am coping with it being sunday evening, so, maybe someone else will enjoy some small softkink ed teach moments + sick stede <3

****

“Surely you have better things to do than listen to me lay here and snf! s’dneeze all over you,” Stede says, rubbing at his eye with a fist. His eyes might well be as runny as his nose at this point, and Stede can no longer think straight. Every bit of his energy is going towards keeping his eyes and nose in check, and trying not to fall asleep in the middle of the day. 

The fact that he’s in bed at noon, all but wrapped around Ed is not helping that last part, Stede can admit that much. 

“Mm? Nope,” Ed replies, stroking small, soothing circles over Stede’s back. “M’Blackbeard, I’ve got people for all that,” he says with a small smile. 

Right. He’s Blackbeard. And being married to Blackbeard comes with the privilege of knowing that, when Stede is sick, all Ed wants to do is stay beside him, fussing at him and kissing him much more than is probably advised with Stede as ill as he is. 

Though Stede knows by now that no matter how sick he might be, truly all Ed ever wants to do when Stede is sick is stay right by his side, tucking himself in good and close, even if it means he’ll surely be sick himself in a matter of days. It happens every time, like clockwork, and they’ve both accepted it without ever putting it into words, Ed’s affection for him when he’s like this. 

Well, Ed is affectionate with Stede all of the time, that much is true, too, but it’s definitely a little bit over the top when Stede’s down with a cold, or his hayfever is bothering him something fierce when springtime hits. 

“Yes, but—” Stede’s argument is interrupted by a kiss, which makes his breath catch all over again. 

“No buts,” Ed says into his lips. “You look knackered, though, you could sleep, if you want, I’ve got everything under control here.” 

“Your people do, you mean?” Stede can’t help but tease him a little. 

“Exactly,” Ed nods, then nudges Stede’s nose with his own. “You��re all red,” he says, “just here.” He pulls back for a fraction of a second to drop a kiss to the sore, flushed tip of Stede’s nose, nuzzling them together gently. 

“D-hih! Don’t do that,” Stede warns, sniffling and rubbing at his nose with the blanket he’s been wrapped in for the last two days. 

“Do what?” Ed asks innocently, kissing Stede’s nose once more, just before he kisses his lips again, long and sweet and entirely distracting. 

So distracting, in fact, that Stede’s focus slips. He’s suddenly entirely focused on kissing Ed rather than on stopping himself from sneezing and wiping his eyes, and it’s enough that an irritating, ticklish need sneaks up on him all over again. 

When Stede pulls away with a hitching gasp, Ed hardly looks surprised. Instead, he just rummages through the messy bed, littered with handkerchiefs and blankets, a hot water bottle and empty tea mugs, and comes up with a relatively fresh handkerchief for Stede. 

“I’ve got you,” Ed says encouragingly, folding the cloth over Stede’s mouth and nose. There’s no way he doesn’t feel every change in breath, every hitched gasp as Stede shivers through another fit, and yet he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. 

““Hh! hetCHsh! CHsh! Snf! h’uhh’Hd-tsh! Ih'TSH! HH'dtsh!”

“God bless you,” Ed murmurs. “You can blow your nose, love, you’ll never stop otherwise.” 

Of course he knows this, after all this time, and yet Stede feels a soft, warm heat rise to his cheeks as he does as he’s told, letting Ed continue to hold the dampened handkerchief and watch him with soft, fond eyes. 

“Thanks,” Stede says with another sniffle once he’s pulled away with a nod. 

“‘Course,” Ed says. “Better?” 

“Hardly,” Stede sighs. “Feels like I’m either sneezing or coughing or blowing my nose, and when I’mb not doing that I’mb half asleep.” He wants to be above deck with the rest of the crew, on an adventure somewhere, or, at least, making better use of this time with Ed. Not just spreading his germs and laying in bed for days at a time. 

Not that it’s a hardship, spending time in bed like this. He never would have imagined that someone would want to see this side of him, let alone seem to enjoy it the way Ed does. Stede just hates feeling useless when he’s sick, can still hear his father demanding that he suck it up, whether he was ill, or his hayfever was bothering him, or he was just upset about the many injustices in the world. It makes him want to power through all of it, fight through his head cold the way a good pirate surely would. 

But then again… 

Stede looks at Edward, at the soft affection still written all over his face, and sighs again, with affection this time. 

“Alright?” Ed asks, as if reading his mind.

“Yeah,” Steve nods. “Good.” 

“Good,” Ed repeats. He brushes a stray curl back from Stede’s forehead, the touch so incredibly soft and sweet that Stede feels his breath catch. All this time and he’s still not used to this easy affection they share. Maybe he’ll never be used to it, maybe he’ll always be just a little surprised by the way Ed touches him like he’s something to be treasured. That’s fine, too. Good, even. The kind of love he only ever knew to exist in stories. 

Before he can say anything, remind Ed just how much he loves him, Ed leans in again, cups Stede’s jaw between careful hands, and brings their lips together for another kiss. He’s in no hurry, content enough to let Stede lead the way, pulling away every now and then to catch his breath. 

“Sorry,” Stede says, a little breathlessly, “mby n’dose isn’t cooperating.” 

“S’alright, love,” Ed says, stroking Stede’s cheek. “We can take a break, just lay here. You can tell me all about the foliage from your trip the other day. Lucius’ drawing were fucking amazing.” 

Stede feels himself melt a little at this. He knows Ed isn’t one for foliage and animal sightings, though he gets excited for Stede when there’s a particularly good find. 

True to his word, Ed shifts on the bed, stretching out and leaving room for Stede to curl up next to him. But Stede, despite how congested he is, the fact that he’s fairly sure he’s getting a fever, suddenly wants nothing more than to give Ed exactly what he wants. 

“There were some lovely moths, it’s true,” Stede tells him. He breaks off to cough a few times, his throat stinging with the exertion. “But we don’t have to t-heh! Talk about that now if you…oh…!” 

Stede shakes his head in warning, unable to keep the building sneeze at bay long enough to give Ed a proper warning before he…

“huhhUSShhu! etCHUSH! Hdt’CHUShhhoo! Heh… ehh? ehhESShh!” 

There’s no carefully held handkerchief this time, just a rush of sneezes one after the next, and Stede’s helpless sniffles following the fit. He’s stumbling through an apology when Ed shushes him with a kiss. 

“Don’t mind,” Ed insists. “Really don’t. The opposite, really.” 

“The opposite,” Stede repeats, still sniffling and trying to get a grip on his eyes and nose and head. 

“Mmhm,” Ed says, tugging Stede in impossibly close and kissing him again as if to illustrate the point he’s trying to make. With one of Ed’s hands in Stede’s hair and the other at his waist, Stede doesn’t need to understand it in so many words. All he feels now is warm, and sleepy, and loved in a way he never has before. 

“That’s, umb,” Stede tries and fails to find the right words before settling on what feels the most true in the moment. “Perfect,” he says. “Really do love you, Edward, darling.” 

“I know,” Ed smiles, burying his face in the crook of Stede’s neck when his breath catches again. “Love you too.”

[jewelsinthesky]

we don’t know for sure if Stede’s father is still alive or not, but assuming he hasn’t kicked the bucket just yet, please consider a fic where he meets The Gentleman Pirate out on the open sea.

Post-canon, post-reconciliation, The Revenge raids a merchant ship and discovers Mr. Bonnet on board. They take him hostage, or rather invite him to stay on the ship as a guest and quickly realize that they probably would have been better off killing him. He constantly belittles Stede, both to his face and behind his back, calling him a fake pirate and demeaning him for leaving his old life behind and tarnishing the family reputation. The crew watch as Stede shrinks into a hollow shell of himself and loses all the confidence he has gained. Ed offers to help get rid of Mr. Bonnet, preferably in a way that’s very permanent, but Stede won’t let him. Even if he’s a dick, he’s still his father. And besides, Stede reasons, he wouldn’t be saying all those things if they weren’t at least a little bit true.

The issue is that Mr. Bonnet is also a racist, classist asshole and isn’t just cruel to Stede but the whole crew as well. The only one he even vaguely approves of is Izzy, because “if you’re going to be a pirate, Stede, you might as well be a proper one.” And maybe Ed was once Blackbeard but the version Mr. Bonnet meets is much too soft, and in his opinion, not white enough. Stede does eventually stand up for himself, and it is initially because he hears the crew complaining about his father’s treatment of them. Because while he can stand people insulting him, he will not abide anyone making his crew, his family, feel like they aren’t welcome on their own ship.

However, once he gets the ball moving, it just won’t stop and he soon ends up ranting about how he hates all the things his father says about him. How he hates that he’s spent so long hating himself because of his father’s words. How he hates that he managed to overcome that self hatred and make a life for himself, a life where he’s happy, just for his father to come back and ruin that peace. How he hates that a part of him wishes his father had died in the raid before Stede saw him. Stede pours his heart out to his father, with tears in his eyes and Ed and his crew by his side. He speaks his truth and at first, it seems like it might make a difference.

Except it doesn’t. Stede finishes his speech and Mr. Bonnet isn’t impressed. Instead, he just begins scolding him, getting angry at Stede for “giving him backlash” and after everything he’s done for him too. Ultimately, the only difference is that this time Stede refuses to listen to that crap.

He may not be willing to directly kill his father, but he has no qualms leaving him in a dinghy with a couple days’ worth of rations and a pair of oars. They’re on a trading route, a ship will probably come by and pick him up soon. And if one doesn’t, well, it won’t be easy, but the shore is still in rowing distance. He’s sure his father will be fine.

Although that doesn’t prevent him from crying into Ed’s chest the moment they’re alone. He’s unsure whether they’re tears of grief or relief or both, but they’re loud and messy and wet. It seems that cutting off a loved one is always difficult, even when you know they probably never loved you back.

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TRAILER THOUGHTS AND RAMBLES POST™

Woo boy this is going to be a long one, and I mean, A LONG ONE LMAO. And, of course, all in good fun; i simply just Have To Scream and Incessantly Ramble. So, if you'd like to scream along with me, and read through an ESSAY OF THOUGHTS HERE SHDKJSDHS-

I just have to start things off with my babygirl. With the babygirlest of babygirls. LOOK at that pining. INSANE levels of pining. "When will my husband return from the war" levels of it, quite frankly PFFF. And with the hair back and the slut strands out too like???

I will say, it's very interesting to see him pining like this out in the open. I very much expected him to say locked away in his cabin most of the time, and stay entirely masked whenever he's out. But it seems like he makes STEPS towards healing rather early into the season, as the Kraken Getup seems to drop pretty quick. So, I'm very interested to know how that'll play into his dynamic with other characters (Fang, for example, seems to take notice, based on the comment he makes in the next screenie).

regardless, babygirl you're so strong and beautiful and i'm wrapping you in a blanket, kissing you on the forehead, and express shipping your man RIGHT into your arms. it'll get better, i promise.

but no really i'm going insane because like...just when edward teach couldn't get anymore beautiful, he really decides to pull up with a MESSY BUN???

HIIIIIII FANGY HI FRENCHIE HELLLOOOO MY SWEETHEARTS <3

I don't talk about Fang nearly as much as I should because I love him so much. I think getting a hug from him would Heal Me, actually. Like please hsdjkss he's so sweet- "I've never seen Blackbeard like this 🥺." CAN I GET HIM A PUPPY? I'M GETTING HIM A PUPPY.

Also please are they eating cake hsdksjks. ARE THEY EATING WEDDING CAKE. Imagine your raid is to crash a wedding, steal cake toppers, and then eat what's left of the wedding cake jskdhsdjkls. DREAM JOB???

AND THEN THIS. HOOOOO BOY. HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

when i tell y'all i am Foaming At The Mouth over this. Like, it obviously guts me to see Stede crying, but it makes me SO intrigued to know what made him come to the more stark realization, what made him flip from optimistic and bitchy to more somber and pained.

There SEEMS to be some sort of shift sometime around when he sees Ed's wanted poster, because there's that shot of him looking melancholic in the rain. But it doesn't quite seem as stark as THIS.

It makes me wonder if it's a gradual assembly of puzzle pieces, ie finding out about the marooning, then Lucius, then Ed's scourge across the Caribbean, etc etc. And it slooooowly dawns on him that his decision to leave in order to keep Ed happy ended up doing EXACTLY the opposite.

OR, I wonder if this is following the reunion—a PAINFUL one at that. Like, maybe he still was going into it a bit idyllic, and was holding onto the hope that it would still be alright...only for Ed to react poorly/in a way he never anticipated to see. He went into it maybe with a bit of anxiety, but ultimately leaned on the denial...only to have all the fears confirmed.

Or maybe it's a mixture of both. But either way, it's SO so interesting to see him have to SIT with it all. And even though it hurts to see HIM hurt, I'm actually very glad they addressed this and made him feel the heavier weight.

...Only to transition right into silliness here with this shot dHJKSDKLS. ed babe listen i get it. i Get It. i'm right there with you, babe.

BUT ALSO, makes me wonder what he was smoking in his pipe beforehand. Or maybe it was the transition from pipe to a straight BLUNT that got him shdjksd. Or MAYBE it was just ~*~the sapphic kush~*~ that took him out PFFFF. wlw on mlm violence idk.

SPEAKING of which...

here we go, lesbians. here we go, lesbians, come on. oH MY GOD, LESBIANS,,,

do you think anne and mary want me

BUT OKAY LMAO THESE TWO,,,

With that whole shot where it looks like Anne just kissed Stede, and the way they're both 👀👀 at Ed and Stede having their tense little interaction, I have to wonder if their gaydars go off and one or both subsequently decide to stir shit up PFFFF. Like, causing chaos by making Ed/Stede jealous type deal. And maybe Anne kissing Stede is what makes Ed choke on the blunt sdhkshdks WHO KNOWS.

Regardless, very excited to see the pairs interact. WHO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF MLM WLW SHENANIGANS WILL HAPPEN SDKJS.

And ALSO in relation to that scene, I just have to shdjksdhljksdkls over the editing because it took me out. Ed being like "And more importantly, no more Stede >:)" only to show his little wedding topper doll with Stede's subsequent "HULLOOO, IDWAD."

Killed me. KILLED ME DEAD. And also, a neat little way of editing call Ed out on his bullshit REAL FAST HSDJKSL. like, honey, you can try, but you know full and damn well that silly little guy has burrowed into the deepest chambers of your heart. he has your heart and you have his, WHOOPS.

Ricky, right? This is Ricky??

"WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY..."

So okay, a nose prosthesis is metal as hell, but that means we ALLLLLL know who he got tangled with PFFF. And I believe we see him in the Republic of Pirates talking to Stede and Co??? So I'm very VERY interested to see how that all devolves, and how he goes from vibing to wanting to throw hands.

Unless he was like, on some sort of reconnaissance mission for the British in the first place.

But I digress. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU, RICKY. RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU HSDJKLSLKS

...The way I missed this SEVERAL times over, and didn't even see it until someone else pointed it out in another post.

IZZY WITH A HOOF PEGLEG. PRESUMABLY FROM THE UNICORN. BECAUSE WHERE ELSE WOULD THEY GET A WOODEN HOOF HSDKLJS.

But that also has me like 👁️👁️ for SO many different reasons. How did he lose a good portion of his leg? Was Stede the one to offer up the unicorn leg as a pegleg?

And TRULY, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HIM AND STEDE ANYWAY HSDKJLS LIKE I STILL CAN'T EVEN WRAP MY MIND FULLY AROUND THAT ONE,,,

My running theory is still that like...Izzy wanted a very specific version of Blackbeard. Izzy wanted someone who no longer exists, or maybe never existed to begin with. And so Izzy thought he was doing right by taking Stede out of the picture and nudging Ed back into a more viscous type of pirating...

Only for that to COMPLETELY backfire, and for Ed to get far more unstable. And like, something something Izzy was already complaining about Ed's "erratic moods" and "questionable decisions" BEFORE Stede came into the picture, so I doubt he's going to be content with Ed's turmoil and all the impulsivity that'll likely come with it.

So maybe, MAYBE, I'm thinking he'll have a bit of growth by realizing that Ed and Stede need each other, or maybe that Ed was way happier when things were smoother between him and Stede, at least. And knowing him and his characterization lol, it might not even be a selfless realization/decision. Maybe he'll only be doing it because he wants a less emotional version of Ed, and thinks that having Stede around and being cordial with him will allow that to happen.

And maybe it leads to even MORE growth when he gets roped into training Stede/the crew idk.

Regardless, REGARDLESS, they are one of the last pairs I ever expected to team up, because they were ACTIVELY bitching at each other all through last season HSDJKS.

HI AGAIN OLU MY SWEET LOVELY OLU MY SWEETHEART DARLING <3

BUT WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, SIR. WHAT'S THE TEA????

I'm not 100% certain, but it SEEMS like this is at Jackie's, or at least in the Republic of Pirates somewhere. And based on Ricky's injury, and also other little tidbits of footage, it SEEMS like something goes down there. Maybe some sort of scuffle between the Navy and our guys or something equivalent that snowballs into even ~*~Larger Problems~*~

SEE BECAUSE YEAH—EXPLOSIONS?? CANNON FIRE??? WHAT'RE Y'ALL DOIIINNNGGG LMAO.

And it's so wild because I definitely see Olu (with the CROCS OFC LMAO) and Pete, and then I THINK I see Lucius and Izzy in that mix too??? So like,,,

WHAT DID Y'ALL GET TANGLED IN SDHJKSKLS. AND WHERE IN THE SEASON WOULD THIS FALL??????

Oh this hurts lol. This one hurts. This one hurts a LOT. Stede Bonnet stop breaking my heart Challenge: impossible.

Because that's his home. That's his soul placed into a ship. That's the conglomeration of his hope, and heart, and adventure, and family,,,

And it's in RUINS.

LIKE, CAN THINGS STOP GOING BADLY FOR HIM ACTUALLY HSDKJS. CAN HE STOP GETTING DECKED BY HIS TRAUMA OVER AND OVER AND OVER. BECAUSE,,,

Fresh off the "you defile beautiful things/you're a monster/you're a failure/you ruin everything you touch" train, and he comes back to this. And if this is after he reunites with Ed and realizes things are bad, then man, that'll be even WORSE.

LIKE, NUMEROUS CHAMBERS OF HIS HEART HAVE BEEN SHREDDED. HIS HOME AND HEART ARE BROKEN.

mmMMmmmMMMMMM DAVID CAN WE MAYBE NOT <3 SHDJKLSKS

BUT, off we go cartwheeling from that footage to a VERY interesting bit of dialogue from Stede:

"The entire escape relies on this."

Escape?? ESCAPE???

Here I was thinking they enlisted they help of the Red Flag Fleet and/or Susan to try and catch up with the Revenge. So, ESCAPE???????

Did they get captured? Snatched up from the Republic of Pirates or something equivalent? Does someone have beef with Ed and holds Stede and Co hostage because they're trying to aid him?

OR, are they voluntarily on that ship to hide/lay low from the Navy or something, but their cover has been blown, and they have to quickly flee back onto the Revenge?

Very very inch resting whatever the case.

...

STEDE. FOOKIN. BONNET,,,

🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎

LIKE SIR, WHAT THE FUCK SHDSKD, Y'KNOW??? WITH THE STIDDIES OUT AND THE EARRING AND THE SCRUFF,,,

GOD LMAO. JESUS CHALUPA. CEASE.

like, you're telling me ed is going to see him like this and isn't going to IMMEDIATELY drop and start tying his hair into a ponytail? mmmMMKAY

BUT OKAY—ACTUALLY, that joke sort of brings me to a more angsty theory, because of course it does lol. I have to wonder if Stede is dressing like this because he legitimately wants to, OR, if it's because he feels like he has to.

Like, something something he's trying to do everything he can to win respect and establish himself and ALSO win back his man. And, something something he is ONCE AGAIN doing what HE thinks Ed wants, as opposed to what Ed might ACTUALLY want. Like, "Oh, he's a notorious pirate. He'll like me again if I have a little more gruff and backbone, right? That's what pirates like, right???"

LIKE NO YOU DOOFUS HSDSHDS HE LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE, JUST AS YOU LOVE HIM HOW HE IS. AND HE DREAMS OF DRESSING IN A DRESS WHEN MARRYING YOU. SO LIKE,,,

IF THAT IS INDEED THE CASE, I'M BEATING ED TO THE CHASE AND HEADBUTTING HIM MYSELF HSDKJLSDS.

*grumbling* even though it's a very VERY good look on him, so i hope it's more on his own volition.

I just want him to feel comfortable as HIMSELF, and feel like he doesn't have to perform/conform to anything. And I think there's something very deeply queer about him and Ed BOTH going through that. They're BOTH trying to figure themselves out and what they're comfortable with and who they want to be. And I hope that, IF this is his look, it's something that HE wants entirely.

((Which makes me raise my eyebrows a bit more because of the Cunty Red Jacket. Because he's CUNT. And also his curls are more pronounced when he wears that too. SooOOOoooOOO?????? VERY interested to see what he wants, and where he comfortably settles))

AND GODDDDDD ONTO YET ANOTHER VERY EYEBROW RAISING PART LMAO.

So, we've seen that shot of someone falling into the water like 80 million times at this point. And this trailer ALSO showed an additional shot of said person SINKING into the gloom. At least, I THINK it was the same person/connected. Again, could be a total misdirect lol.

And then we've seen all the blue-tinted shots of Ed off on his own somewhere, fight someone/something all the while being accompanied by some unknown figure.

And BECAUSE of the tinting/consistent lighting, and BECAUSE of the figure accompanying him, I have to also wonder like others similarly are...

Is this a DREAM???

Is this some sort of unconscious sequence where Ed works through trauma/hurt/demons? Is that person with him the ghost of Hornigold or another significant figure from his past? And does said sequence end with him jumping from the cliff and allowing the Kraken to disappear back to the gloom???

But something that makes that whole theory SUS is the shots we've gotten of someone, presumably Ed, coming up out of the ocean. And it's not tinted blue like all of these other shots are.

So it's just hsdjkhsdjksdhskjdhsjksfs??????

Regardless, REGARDLESS, I think all of this points to Ed going on some sort of journey, some sort of bout of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I think he's going to heal parts of himself, or at least SETTLE with parts of himself, no matter the circumstances. And that would be so good because I want that so badly for him. I want him to be able to do that for himself.

...AND SPEAKING OF HEALING SHDJKSKLS

BUNNY. BUNNET. SIR THAT'S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT STEDE BUNNET.

but omfg this is yet another case of my brain not being able to piece together timelines. because ed babe where ARE you. "BABYGIRL WHERE ARE YEEEWW..."

He looks so soft, and also has on a different ring??? An emerald/cyan looking ring??? AND THE KRAKEN RING THAT TAIKA ALWAYS WEARS HSDKJS.

So I just hsdjkhdjklsdhdjklshsjkls. "jodi you'e literally going to find out in like less than a month" I KNOW I KNOW OKAY BUT THAT DOESN'T PREVENT ME FROM GNAWING ON MY DESK FOR 18-ISH MORE DAYS HSDKJLS.

Also, as an aside, I SO very hope this leads to Fangy getting a puppy. I SO very hope that the "pets befouling the ship" clause is scratched from the rulebook PFFFF.

LOOK AT MY SWEETHEARTS HAVING FUN. LOOK AT JIM BEING UNHINGED SHDKJSS LOVE THAT FOR THEM. SERIOUS GOOSE IS BACK TO SILLY GOOSE!!! LOOK AT STEDE LOOKING LIKE A PROUD DAD. THIS IS THE SHIT I'M HERE FOR!!!

also hi hello is that archie. dO YOU THINK ARCHIE WANTS M-(GUNSHOTS)

i'll just be in the corner sobbing over being attracted to so many of these damn pirates. like, it's an Issue

...mmMMMMMM ONLY FOR ME TO TRANSITION RIGHT BACK INTO ANGST TERRITORY LMAO. BECAUSE STEDE, DARLING, WHAT IS THAT INJURY???

I've seen people theorize it's a stab wound, a bullet wound, or some sort of wound that was burned/cauterized. Either way, EITHER WAY, OUCH??? CAN MY DARLING PLEASE KNOW PEACE HSDJKSDKL

Also again, this all plays back into my theory that they're having a party, only to get crashed by some sort of navy personal or another pirate bounty hunter of some variety. And Stede gets captured/tortured.

*Banging pots and pans together* WHEEEEERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE IN THE TIMELINE WHERE ARE WE HSDJKLSHDLKS

Same shirt, but has his EARRING. And is BATTLING A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE. So I would assume this comes AFTER the party fiasco, but also jsjshdjkshlJKHDKLS????

Also the CONCERN on his face is so striking. It makes me wonder if he's looking at Ed. ESPECIALLY because—

SAME BEACH, SAME BATTLE??? SEPARATED BY THE PARTY FIASCO AND ARE NOW FIGHTING TO GET TO ONE ANOTHER?????

But two things about this shot. Well, three, if you count me absolutely FOAMING at the mouth at getting to see Ed battle because hsdjhsjkhsdjkls bARK,,,

One, his sword is bloody. Love that for him. King shit. Slicing and dicing.

BUT TWO, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE APPEARS TO BE HOLDING HIS RIGHT SIDE. NOT THE LEFT SIDE WHERE HE'S BEEN STABBED LIKE 12+ TIMES, BUT THE RIGHT.

HE GETS INJURED??? DO THEY BOTH GET INJURED?????? DAVID I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE 18+ DAYS LEFT BUT I'M DYING OVER HERE HSDJKSLDS

oh hi izzy lmao the way i did not expect the hardest line in the trailer to come from him.

"You don't know the first thing about piracy. It's not about glory, it's about belonging to something."

God. GOD. I really feel like he's going to end up surprising me so much this season lmao.

((BECAUSE NOT TO MENTION, THE FACT THAT HE'S TALKING TO RICKY, AND IT JUST SEEMS,,, 👀))

oh god y'all lmao. want to see how loud i can scream. because, i missed this my first few watches, and didn't even notice until it was later pointed out in people's posts, but,,,

LUCIUS!!! L U C I U S!!!!!! MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND LUCIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEARD, WOODEN FINGER, AND ALL.

MY DARLING. MY GUY. MY BESTIE!!!!!!!

Listen, I was like 99.9999999999999999% sure he was alive okay lol. Because NARRATIVELY, he had to be. NARRATIVELY, I think his death would have sent things into irreparable places. Also, silly little pirate rom/com; Y'ALL CAN'T KILL OFF ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED CHARACTERS LMAO LIKE NO WAY.

But regardless, I'm so happy to see him. I'm SO so happy to see him. AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM REUNITE WITH PETE, AS WELL AS SEE HIS REAL AWKWARD INTERACTIONS WITH ED, I'M SURE HSDJKS

Obligatory Wee John in drag mention/shoutout. Because come on now. COME ON NOW. HE'S FUCKING SERVING. ABSOLUTELY SLAYING. THAT BLUE LOOKS SO SO FUCKING GOOD ON HIM TOO. AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY FOR KRISTIAN AS WELL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Annnnnnd Obligatory Tealoranges mention/shoutout because goodness, look at them. LOOK at them. LOOK HOW SOFT JIM LOOKS. LOOK HOW SWEET THEY ARE. I'M EATING MY ARM!!!

*Baywatch Theme starts playing*

But okay okay what are we thinking:

Training montage/sequence? Or romantic moment?

STEDE'S ROCKY MOMENT LMAO, OR STEDE'S ROMANTIC HERO MOMENT. RUNNING TO GET GAINS, OR RUNNING TO GET HIS MAN.

OOOOOOO BITCH LMAO. OOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH. *RUBS HANDS TOGETHER*

and also snorting at ed's eyes because, just when i think they can't get any bigger,,, just when i think he can't possibly get even More Eyes than usual,,,

But okay hi hello WOWZERS this sequence. This one REALLY has my brain churning.

And I'm subsequently in the camp of thinking that this is very very soon after their reunion, if not their REUNION PROPER. I'm sort of leaning more towards the former, because something tells me they'd want to keep their reunion proper a secret/save it, since it'll likely be a very pivotal moment.

But regardless, SOMETHING SOMETHING SEASON 1 EP3 MIRROR? STEDE FINDS ED INJURED AND WATCHES OVER HIM???? I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HYPE THAT WOULD MAKE MEEEEE HURT/COMFORT AND PARALLELS MY BELOVED!!!

Because Ed is DEFINITELY injured. Blood on the side of his head, various cuts and bruises across his face, etc etc. And Stede looks very Concerned when he calls his name. So I'm just 👀

Not to mention also, Ed seems VERY out of it. His eyes are wide/glazed-looking in all of the subsequent shots. And his first reaction is to headbutt Stede away shdkjshdkjs.

So again, the theory that it's right around their reunion seems very plausible, based upon reactions and outfits and the like. BUT WHO KNOWS.

also, for the record, still sobbing at how stede keeps his arm protectively draped over ed during these shots,,,

AND *RUBS HANDS OVER THIS ONE TOO*

,,,and maybe also *wipes tears away* because he just looks so SERENE. he looks so CALM. i have to wonder if this is after a pivotal moment in his healing, be it from his own realizations, an intimate conversation with stede, or both.

i just hope he's legitimately feeling better right here because i want that for him. i want that SO bad for him. I WANT THE WORLD FOR HIM!!!

Annnnnnnd ending it off with this shot because omfg. Three things.

One, JACKIE AND ED GIRLS NIGHT REAL,,,

Two, Ed trying something "different" has me sobbing and throwing up. He just wants to be comfortable. He just wants to be HIMSELF. He just wants to stop PERFORMING AND MASKING.

Three, THE SWEDE AND JACKIE LMAO??? SWACKIE??? THE SWEDE LOOKING SO INCREDIBLY HOT??? THEY WERE NOT LYING WHEN THEY SAID EVERYONE WAS GOING TO BE HOT SHDJKSD

anyway, if you made it this far, then bless you and your resilience LMAO. but also if you made it this far, you're probably just as excited as i am. like, after this trailer, after seeing all of our darlings and seeing the silliness and seeing the interactions...

idk, i'm just feeling THAT much happier. i'm feeling THAT much more confident in our showrunners/cast/crew. and i cannot WAIT to continue feeling happy with all of y'all <3

18 DAYS AND COUNTING. CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HOW WRONG I AM LMAOOOO <333