#And they're details where it's like... How many people even knew about this lol It's so hidden. Who else actually went digging for this

[solradguy]

I’ve been curious about this for a while, but is there a reason that Asuka’s name is the way it is?

Because in Japanese it’s written 飛鳥＝Ｒ＝クロイツ.

I know 2/3rds of it is Christian R(osen)kreuz but why is his first name kanji? Is there any reason for this? Is it a reference? Even if it is a reference, he is not Japanese so wouldn’t it be アスカ＝Ｒ＝クロイツ ?

Is there some Asuka lore I don’t know about? Is it just an aesthetic choice/to make his name as wacky as possible? (I mean, a kanji, romaji, kana combo for a name isn’t something you don’t see every day).

This has been on my mind for weeks.

I don't have citations for any of this so take it all with a grain of salt because I'm largely speculating.

飛鳥 means "flying bird" and Asuka's got a lot of bird/flying imagery in GG, especially in Strive. It could be that Daisuke just liked the motifs, but his design decisions are generally much deeper than that. Asuka has a LOT of themes baked into his character for things like Japan post-WW2/atomic bomb, the effects of horrors of decisions made during wars on the people who make them, and "sacrifice for a greater good." This last one is evident in the decision he had to make in redirecting Justice's laser towards Japan, killing millions but saving the rest of the world from whatever destruction the Universal Will was going to bring.

Asuka being an American with a Japanese first name and German last name fits into that too, with those three countries all interacting closely in horrible ways during WW2. Again, him having to redirect Justice's laser mirrors America's actions with the atomic bomb. "They dropped the bombs to prevent further deaths during the war" is a common (grim) reasoning given for it.

It's possible the bird motifs suggest a freedom and want for a life unburdened by heavy decisions that Asuka is never going to have. The more abstract bird motifs, like his weird eyepatch thingy, could also tie in with angel symbology and the Rosenkreutz/Rosicrucian Order stuff, which then loop back to his connection with magic and Backyard esoterica.

On a lighter note, Daisuke was almost definitely inspired by Go Nagai's Devilman, despite me not having a citation for that lol. 飛鳥 is the same kanji Ryo Asuka from Devilman uses, and GG Asuka's relationship to Sol is almost 1:1 to Ryo's and Akira Fudo's in Devilman. Sol's Dragon Install designs borrow some inspirations from the Devilman's too, most notably in the weird head-wing thingies.

Asuka R. Kreutz is a character that has a ton of very deliberate and carefully chosen elements to his character. I have zero doubts that, when we do find out why Daisuke named him the way he did, it's going to open the floodgates for intense analysis.

[sleeplesssmoll]

Reverse 1999 HCs: The Kitchen

I mentioned these in passing, but I finally added them in post with more detail. Feel free to add your HCs to the buffet! Word count is 960ish so you know what you're getting into if you continue down this path of madness.

Apple tends to stay out of the kitchen unless he's looking for wine. He doesn't want to be mistaken for a tasty snack.

Regulus is banned from the kitchen but barges in anyway as the "official taste tester". She also steals from people's plates if they're left unguarded, unless it's Sotheby's. She is an exception. Vertin gets the worst of it where Regulus might lean over her shoulder and chomp down on her spoonful of food. This is the tax for sharing her premium snacks with Vertin.

As for the snack sharing, one time Regulus caught Vertin eating uncooked noodles with the seasoning packet sprinkled on top like chips as a snack. Ever since then, she gave Vertin free access to the stash of snacks in her room. There's always potato chips and Dr. Papper available to her friend.

Vertin stills occasionally eats noodles like chips because Madam Z used to do it when they were traveling together. When Smoltin caught her red-handed, Madam Z advised her not to be like her and to eat her celery sticks instead. They both knew that wasn't going to happen.

Sotheby is allowed use the kitchen with supervision. There needs to be someone there to give their opinion on her creative choices (stop her from accidentally poisoning someone).

Druvis is the head chef and Sonetto is her apprentice that does everything by the book due to her upbringing in the Foundation. For example, if they don't have the right ingredients, Sonetto believes they can't make the dish anymore. However, Druvis will teach her how to substitute things and improvise.

Sonetto is a great cook, but she operates like a robot that needs to be updated with new ideas from a programmer. All the knowledge is there, but she struggle to make her own conclusions. (This is something we see her struggle with in game but I applied it to cooking lol)

The Horror Trio have no interest in cooking, only eating. Although, Jessica and her Critter friends harvest things from the garden so Druvis can supervise/mentor in the kitchen.

Vertin can't cook per say, but she can throw together very basic meals a child could do (eggs, bacon, toast, grilled cheese, simple stuff). However, her specialty is eggs. She can cook an egg in every way possible thanks to Madam Z. The scientist told her if she learns to cook anything, let it be an egg. They're easy to cook, versatile, and a good source of protein. This is an HC but I can hear her explaining egg supremacy to Vertin. Fun fact: Eggs are a staple food in China and many Asian countries. Eat an egg for Madam Z everyone.

Vertin's also handy with a knife since it's all about technique and she's good with her hands. Before her crew, she probably ate a lot of sandwiches, Foundation MREs, and instant food (with eggs on the side).

However, one day Druvis witnessed hot bacon grease pitch onto Vertin's arm. Vertin flinched at first but continued flipping her bacon, saying, "It happens sometimes." Druvis damn near threw Vertin in the sink in her rush to run cold water over it. They didn't notice how serious Vertin's disregard for injuries were due to the lack of scars and reactions from her. Vertin doesn’t understand since it'll go away with a healing potion. This breaks Druvis's heart because even if it's healed, Vertin's putting herself through unnecessary pain since she's used to getting hurt.

That was the last time Vertin was allowed to touch a frying pan (rip her beloved eggs as collateral), but they still let her use the knife since she's adept with it. Also Vertin wants to help them because it's a way for her to spend more time with them. They couldn't chase her away after she admitted that.

There is another advantage to letting the Timekeeper help sometimes; Vertin's the only one who doesn't cry rivers when she cuts an onion. Sonetto and Sotheby are a mess when they try. Pupnetto has a sensitive nose and Sotheby is baby. Druvis keeps her deadpan face but tears will prick at her eyes.

Vertin didn't always eat her veggies as a kid and Madam Z wasn't sure how to make her eat them. It's actually Tooth Fairy who found a way to make fruits and veggies fun. Vertin now does the same for her Suitcase Family.

Imagine an elegant, celebratory dinner set up by Druvis, Sonetto, and Sotheby after a particularly tough mission. What did Vertin contribute with her knife? Sandwiches? Salads? Nope. It's this:

Fruits and veggies decorated as little critters! It's how Tooth Fairy advised Madam Z to prepare them so Smoltin would eat them. As a kid she loved it. Vertin is creative so there are many variations (she's the opposite of Sonetto who's highly skilled but lacks creativity).

They're a hit with her crew too. Even Blonney, who normally acts like a moody teenager when it comes to her true feelings, finds them adorable. After seeing the way Jessica's eyes lit up from the little display, she was inspired to try and learn too. In secret, of course.

Horropedia said they were neat, but listed a terrifying bunch of ideas for Vertin's next fruit/veggie display: monsters, eyeball, tentacles, severed fingers, a dipping sauce that looks like slime or blood...

Bonus:

Regulus: Vertin! What are you doing?

Vertin: I'm making cheese toasties (grilled cheese). Don't worry, there's no way I can burn myself.

Regulus: You're dealing with hot melted cheese. On a scale of 1 to 10, how angry do you think Sonetto and Druvis would be if I called them right now?

Vertin: ...Would you like one too?

Regulus: Cut diagonally, no crust. Thanks ❤️

[critical-birb]

Continued headcanon submissions (should I have just put it all in one post? That wall of text would have been enormous.)

Revali's version of rest and relaxation is flying out and wandering until he finds something that interests him. He's definitely been a boon in discovering new food sources for the Rito and detailing maps further than ever before, but it's also a good thing he's as fast as he is considering how far he wanders. He got all the way down to Faron once before thinking "shit I should probably turn around". He'll show up random local archery contests, try different foods just to declare that it's not as good as the stuff in Rito Village (he might not give such high praise if he was at home, lol), and occasionally he'll bring back presents for the little Rito (he's not heartless).

Basically if he had a car he would totally go on long night drives and take frequent road trips on a whim.

THIS IS SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME HELP. 🥺

He just likes to fly about and explore. Casual cartography hobby like what an absolute secret nerd. I'm obsessed with him just bringing back little gifts for people.

There's so many fics where Revali is an antisocial lone wolf type character even around the other Rito - but it's clear they worked together, and he's very proud of being a Rito and able to compliment his own people. I like to think maybe even if he was standoffish around the other Champions, maybe he was actually really kinda loved in his community at home. A little up his own butt, sure, but he had friends. People liked him. He knew everyone's names, would randomly drop into people's huts to toss them some berries you can only get in a different region just because he knows they like them and he was down that way on a flight. Would pick up pretty seashells and interesting trinkets on his travels to give to the fledglings in the village. Would specifically head out to areas to pick up items people needed for cooking or sewing just because why not be useful?

He doesn't make a big deal about it. He's off doing his own thing but the other Rito are always in the back of his mind and secretly he enjoys helping people. It makes him feel good to give people gifts from his adventures.

He loves his people and they love him - even if he can be kind of an obnoxious twat sometimes. He's good inside. He'a grown up there, they know him even behind the mask of grandure he puts on.

Do you think, when he died, Rito brought little trinkets from their own adventures to leave at his grave? A tribute not to the great master Revali - but to their friend, who would sometimes disappear for days at a time and return and silently hand them a tropical fruit or an interesting book just to let them know he thought of them.

And they're still thinking of him - and want him to know that, wherever he is now.

[jotadoul]

upon finishing the series, my partner immediately fired up the film lol... third time's a charm.

and i genuinely don't understand why it gets such a bad rap! i understand wanting to see everyone interact more, but you already watched the series— you already know the basis and basics of their relationships and character, only now they've been thrown together through different circumstances. was the film, like many other adaptations, expected to be pure fan service? aside from playing some of the hits, the film doesn't seek to explore that. instead it's trying to affirm (and by doing so, critique/adjust) the deeper messages which were present in the series, but do it in a way where nothing else is meant to distract from the meaning. we already got the show, where all the core elements exist, but now it's about tightening the focus on what was intended to be said.

right off the rip it's such a stunning array of visuals and choreography, and a really smart lesson in unspoken worldbuilding which i think should be taken to heart by any prospective fantasy writer (or writers in general.) like it's a really smart detail that everyone on the black dragon ship* has to wear oxygen masks, but van doesn't, a) because he's clearly used to flying, b) this is much like the people of the himalayas who are used to living at altitude.

like it's important in the series and film that the nepal/tibet influences be known, like even through the continued inclusion of the yaks. it's great that the abaharaki (a word i've been studying heavily lol) caravan is a ship on land complete with sails. what does that mean for the terrain it most commonly traverses? but all these things just set up a fully lived-in world. they don't actually matter for the storytelling at all. what matters to the story is only the things the characters interact with/care about intimately. and that's how you learn— without needing to be told what to pay attention to, because the people you care about show you.

* (which of course looks like a dragon... badass... and cool that folken abandoned his wings and must fly around in airships, a cool form of self-torture i am certain. and "abandoning his wings" is in contrast to hitomi gaining hers, so i imagine that if it's physical— tearing them out— it's only because it's metaphorical, a symbol of his becoming disaffected and despairing.)

there is really no exposition, everything is told through action. i think it's great that we hear from

the bard of freid

the gadarasarai song

mole man's own predictions

sora's song

to really build out the world and ground the legend within it without actually allowing the audience to linger on/ask for more than what is directly shown. we're not doing tolkein here. tolkein drags. we're going for emotion, not information.

sora also, like varie, corresponds to the concept of a celestial maiden, which we know means her relationship is fated for doom— unlike varie, sora knows this/says this, whereas we can assume varie knew this and that it dictated her relationship with her husband and sons. she did marry a dragonkiller, after all. of course her wish is to stay there with folken, and of course death doesn't quite affect her in the same way. also it's awesome that folken stole the dragon fossil from his dad's house lol.

based on his role and motivations in the film (and drama CD) i assume that because van was too wounded, and hitomi obviously doesn't know the way, that it was jajuka, after hearing hitomi's heartfelt plea, who took her and van to adom. because that also speaks to his actions at the end.

i think people would be a lot happier with the film if there was a third cycle to witness. that's in some ways fixed by the drama CDs, but clearly they're not accessible to big portions of the audience. we're basically working within the framework of saṃsāra here. it's reasonable to be tripped up by a series which presents itself with european inspiration, but it still was made within a totally different cultural canon, and it's exploring both the intangible concept of fate and thru physical action/reaction— they even mention karma by name. it's not just a colloquial shorthand, but an actual thing. like any religion, buddhism can have a negative impact on people and i think escaflowne in full, but especially the film (note the shrine where a mech is represented similar to a colossal buddha) is interrogating the idea of the inevitable cycle of suffering, and, obviously, breaking it. linking that to war is a bold move! and both the film and show mean to tell us that conflict is going to exist. you cannot grant everyone's wishes, and because you can't, you need to figure out how to deal with conflict as opposed to avoiding or displacing it.

despite still being an exercise in visual literacy and inference, the film's purpose is to double down on and make certain implicit elements of the show more explicit, so that you in turn reflect on their representation in the series. that's what i mean about it being in conversation with itself. not merely referencing itself, but addressing itself.

i'm thinking about the scene where hitomi and yukari are sitting on the stairs after seemingly having a good day. we don't know how long they've sat there, but the first thing we see yukari say doesn't imply it's the first thing she's said. hitomi is sitting far away from her. the little wrinkle in hitomi's nose shows she's angry without us seeing her face. the empty bottle is on its side, which to me implies it was tossed there. we see the exit sign for the track. we see hitomi despondent, suspended motionless in the doorway. it's so affecting.

hitomi has ample anxiety in the series but we only get to see how that affects things on gaea. to instead show her with debilitating depression makes so much sense. and it hits so hard because it has an effect on the people around her on earth just as it has an effect on gaea. but it isn't condemnatory as it is in the show. it is WHOLLY sympathetic, despite and because of it being hard. it isn't a representation everyone wants to see— that you can be both a victim of severe illness and commit harm of this kind— but the harm that she causes is just realistic. it's not overblown. it's sad. it hurts and she is hurt by it in turn. and seeing her so desperate to disappear emphasises the nature of folken's appearance on earth. he feels very similar. it's grown into something much more fearsome, but he appears to her when he's... what, 10? 15? so we can only imagine what state he was in to accomplish that. bound by sorrow...

for all that he says, it's only at the end when folken actually explains that he intends to destroy the world to break the bonds of his and all suffering, and van's as well. that the sorrow of the world has crushed him. and hitomi and van's reactions to this are not of anger but of shock and desperation, at finally cracking his motivations, and they're so much sadder than expected. he can't have van come closer to him as he dies... he's been avoidant, he could've wiped out van personally but no, he couldn't. just like in the series, van is kept away from him, he keeps van away from him, out of care for van's safety— in the film, i assume that having van near him would break him. to be confronted by, challenged by, the truth of his emotions. that deep love. and doesn't want van to see him dying, either, to cause more pain. it clearly overwhelms him.

i've heard criticism that the film is too dark and brutal and that this took audiences by surprise, but that confuses me. the show was also incredibly brutal. there was graphic death and hard, complicated, distressing emotion. it was the packaging, the window dressing, which softened it to a viewer's eyes. but think of the death of the duke of freid. unbelievably raw and upsetting. the film's art style just makes that brutality more visceral. hitomi being petrified with fear when van and allen start fighting right in front of her is how we would also act— frightened of this world where violence is the common language— but from our distance, it just looks badass to us. but it needs to look this way not only because it's beautiful but so that the story can tell you no, it isn't, it's no way to live. the story is telling you that living this way, that power and violence are burdens which deplete you and isolate you, and at great scale, destroys the world. in this way it is a very political show just like all mecha stories tend to be.

i have a lot more to say but i'll stop here, ha ha.

also no shade to the dubs but they are bad. they're more like line reading than anything and so much crucial emotion is straight up lost... not only emotion, but important flourishes from the japanese actors like a character's teeth being clenched, or the slurring from a character's face pressed against a surface, the wavering of nervousness, or letting their voices become ragged and raw and scratchy and strained, rather than the strain of keeping it uniform regardless of what's going on. people still talk about how dilandau's VA had the RANGE. idk i got psychic damage seeing how many people on reddit were watching the dub, the NEW dub with that fucking freak sex pest in the roster. like alright... sure... you're going to miss a whole half of the experience, but, enjoy.

[zalrb]

PLL 1x04 Review - Per Anon Request

"Aww, like little headstones." HA, yes, Hanna's my fave. Got called desperate, totalled his car in response - excuse me, damaged - and her snide remarks.

Y'all, A is just sending texts. So who cares. They're not going to actually do anything.

"So you're really done?" He did sexually assault her, Aria. But you're in the midst of a statutory rape/predatory thing right now, so.

No matter how many times I hear Secret, I just think of Gossip Girl. Sorry PLL.

Hot scarf, Em. It's a red scarf.

Is don't ask, don't tell what you would use to describe Hanna's relationship with her father, Spencer? Isn't it just, "we don't talk about it"? Don't ask, don't tell would be if you found out about Aria and Ezra and she knew you knew but you didn't ask her about it so she wouldn't have to lie about it.

Aria, are you telling him not to ride a bike?

"You wore a scarf this morning." Toby, please.

Also, why are we acting like people don't wear scarves in Rosewood?

How many times are we going to flashback to the affair scene? Just show it in the recaps, my god.

"Oh God, there's barely enough left of you to hug." Can you all stop? PLEASE. Lmao, let that poor girl live.

I like how Hanna is taking no accountability for wrecking a car. He should yell at you, Hanna.

"Mostly it's to remind myself that there was literature before laptops" what kind of English teacher needs to be reminded of that?

"I asked you here because I don't see you as a child" this man belongs in JAIIIILLLLLL.

"I think he wants to spend more time with me" He's getting married or he's moving countries or something.

Emily is terrible.

That is not how you introduce your new family to your daughter.

This is a good shot

You are making grand drunken gestures to a high schooler at her house.

Ooh I'm recording you with Wren and I'm going to do nothing about it except send it to you. Staaakes.

I really don't know anything about you except that you're underage.

One cup of coffee and he's sober!

"You two on a boat." "See who's coming back?" "Is ... that a joke?" "Of course it was a joke. And this was a fork." LOL.

"I'm a fixer when it comes to my family." Aria, I haven't seen you fix or try to fix shit.

"I'm the one planning and negotiating." When was this? Where was I?

"Wishing how I'd met you first" what, when she was fourteen? Get a grip.

LOL this is ridiculous. A knowing exactly what station Hanna is listening to and when.

Oh finally, A does something. Jesus.

Who CARES if the bracelet is gone? The bracelet doesn't mean anything.

I like how fixer Aria sees the note from A that her mom read and doesn't even try to talk to her mom, she just keeps looking at the note.

Aria, why is the jungle red note on the mirror more disturbing to you then A leaving a note detailing everything happening with your dad in your house?

[yuseirra]

Your essay reeks of passion. That's what I like about it.

I'm just as obsessed with psychology lol. I tried to analyse and anticipate this relationship when the manga wasn't finished yet and I got it right lol. I don't think we'll go wrong with our interpretation.

It hurts like hell when I see this ship lol, because it could have been beautiful and I love both characters. I think it also have an special meaning for me.

STORYTIME MOMENT

I think it's also because, I have to admit, one of the reasons I was an Ai yume / waifuist was because I found the character lovable but also because I felt understood (I have a pretty cynical view of the world lol but I'm taking care of myself). Thinking about helping me to get better and get back on track. Coping with life's problems at a time when I was being neglected. To give a little more meaning at a time when I was becoming nihilistic. So I wanted to give meaning to fiction. Because the real Ai was someone I understood. That person who was crushed by the world and just wanted to learn love, I could understand that. I've found a little joy where I was morose. It saved me. I wanted to love her, even though I know it's fiction and that she can't love me. It hurts me to know that, in the end, she hardly ever had anyone to love her. I wish I could have been that person. I don't care if it's unrequited. I love her. It's CRINGE with a C lol but it's true. A dimension separates me from her, what a sadness lol. I'm bound by the chains of attachment to her, and it's my curse and my blessing.

So I kind of understand him. When you don't have much, all it takes is a little and everything lights up. But lose it and you become dust and plunge into the abyss of despair. And in the possible and probable desire to make sense of it all.

So I want this ship not to end even worse, because I want someone to love her since I can't. A final tribute, even if they're separated by the barrier of life. Let my girl and my boy be happy for once.

Even if the work is dark and a bit creepy, it's become a work of comfort and I think I put a bit of my soul into it lol (as a text whose intensity I should have measured out).

You often make the comparison with Japanese gods, but I'd also like to give you another possibility that I've noticed: the story of Layla and Majnun. A man who can't marry the woman he loves because of circumstances around him and his mistakes, becomes crazy about the woman he loves and can't give up that love.

I was going to leave for the night(and I will after I answer this ask!) but I felt I shouldn't let this one go unattended for long..(it usually takes some time for me to get to messages;v;!! I need some energy)

Wanted to attach a picture of Ai!

Mhm, I can't daren't say I "understand", but I always felt like Ai is very real in many aspects even if she's a fictional character. What she's going through can apply to people in real life, and it's portrayed in a very lifelike way. I remember having read a review the first time I picked up this series, the person reviewing it wrote they could relate to her character so well because it is exactly the way they felt about things. They really couldn't comprehend what "love" could actually be like, as much as they wanted it, so they kept struggling to pretend they knew about it- something like that, I don't remember the exact details.

I felt from the beginning that her song and her story could reflect how some people really are, and that there would be people who's been where she is- but reading something like that really struck me. I feel Ai could and would be a very important/precious character for some, she displays emotions and goes through experiences that can be their reality. That makes me want to pay careful attention to depicting how she is sometimes/when I bring out her character. She's unique, but also quite universal.

I can't say I can fully understand how you'd feel because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can see how what you've mentioned can happen to you, it's really comforting to find something that you can relate to in a piece of media, right? It is that way for me too. Also, I hear fiction has that magic of increasing one's empathy (I read a study proves that in a book) we get to see how other people function and come to realize what they face a little better, we cry and laugh with them. When there's a character that's built really well(and Ai is created with careful attention and a lot of research, I feel, she's so detailed and delicate in terms of how she is as a character) it helps even more on that aspect. I respect that.

And isn't Ai really strong? She gets hurt, she's wary, scared and weird and she isn't perfect and she's built a big mask of lies, but what I felt about her on top of all that is that she tries really hard, and she never gives up on trying to love. Thinking how a young girl who's been so hurt and lonely and abused/neglected as a child was able to endure everything that she's gone through, and even HELP someone else during those struggles, and still dreaming, going out there to achieve what she wants about life, that's pretty inspiring. I think she can be a good example, despite her having met a pretty sad fate. I don't think her life was a failure, it was filled with new challenges and she tackled it with all her heart and she finally got what she really wanted in the end. She lived vigorously. There's a lot to learn from her, I feel. She perseveres and makes her wishes come true. That's why I want her to be happy in every aspect :) (her boyfriend better live up to her and I feel like he is someone who can) as well as everyone who's been in that spot to be as well! I want onk to be a story like that, and I think it will? I think that'd be the point of making Ai like this. This character has the potential to make people happy as she becomes happy in the story herself. So I want that to happen!

I make a lot of comparisons with Japanese gods because this is a Japanese piece and I feel it's what the author would've actually used as reference! (didn't read kaguya-san but I heard that one has some jp folklore refs too!) But I'll look into the story you mentioned as well! I don't think I'm familiar with it yet but it seems interesting! There are a lot of stories about unrequited love, isn't it? ;v;) but I hope this one gets a happy ending.

speaking of which, Hikaru's name is Hikaru Kamiki right?

I probably said this but he may be collecting light(Hikaru/hikari) (from the star eyes??) to become a god(kami) like Ai who's returned to being a star. (Ai hoshino=love of a star) I feel star=god in this universe from the stuff they're keep implying.. so it's about trying to reach someone who's far away. You know, this is actually what Mephisto's lyrics imply as well.

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine < this.

I'll be, if this isn't the case. I'm so convinced at this point.

I don't really want to add on to your personal experiences and discuss about them, I feel it'd be rash of me to make some sort of comment on it. I'd like to tell you I've read it :) and the fact that you can open your feelings up to someone, I feel that's a good sign. That needs to happen in order to heal, I believe. I hope good things happen to you and you find a lot of things that give you joy, and I really hope this series will live up to it too! I want it to have a satisfying ending ;v; come on.. I bought the physical books too~... I'm glad I have something to be passionate about to say the least-(I'm glad you can tell!) it's a loved series, so I wish it gets a great closure for both the fans and the ones who are responsible for creating it.

We'll see how it wraps up! I hope it will be an ending I will love~ and that hikaai will sail bc;; I really can't see it not being any other way for it to get a meaningful closure. For now, goodnight~

[misc-obeyme]

Hello CC, this is a sort of follow-up to my last ask.

I got one of the Satan cards I was looking for after... 41 summons I think? It's the card 'The New Student's Secret' from one of the revivals. I saw it and I knew I had to possess it... I mean Satan being a very beautiful man in the prescence of the most wondrous creature known to man, a cat? I could write a paragraph as to why that card's default layout(/image?) is the absolute best but I won't.

In regards to events, I think my own mixed feelings on them may be because I am a bit of a completionist so I end up playing through and reading all of them, regardless of whether I have interest in the story. I also hold strong investment in romancing one character out of the cast of them so completing Celestial Blessing events where they lean so heavy into the harem aspect feels awkward for me. (Which is strangely out of character for me because I usually like harem shenanigans in media.) Especially since I have a little bit of beef with Solomon. I do like having interactions with and being friendly to him I just want to have the option to punch him at least once because sometimes he just has the audacity and I cannot take it. (It is for similar reasons I actually like his character quite a bit too, my many opinions are conflicting.)

The current event was a delight, and as you said, it's hilarious that the characters tasked MC with trying to sneakily make Barb cry considering he always knows about people's schemes. MC wasn't too subtle with their comments or questions either... If other Barbatos events are so delightfully bizarre, I'll definitely have to check out some of the past ones in Lonely Devil.

I also really appreciate you filling me in on the history of pop quizzes and events throughout Obey Me! Shall We Date and Nightbringer. I love having information I can stockpile in my brain.

Thanks for the response to the last ask and good luck with all your requests,

-🦇🪐

Hi there, 🦇🪐 anon!

Ah well 41 summons isn't too bad, right? I mean it isn't great either shoulda been one summon lol. But at least you got it! Satan and cats are indeed an excellent combo.

I totally get it, I used to read through every single even too. I was like I must have all the cards, I don't care who they're for lol. It's a slightly different experience for everyone, but I do think that if you aren't too invested in all the characters, it makes those events harder to get through. Just because they can be kinda boring.

In fact, I find most of the events to be a tad boring, plot wise. I generally play them for the goofy lines we often get and the tender romance lines that are sometimes really good, too.

I also see how it can be especially annoying if you have one character that irritates you!

I would definitely classify most of the Barb events as "delightfully bizarre" so if you find you have some time to read through some of the old ones, you might want to. They always feel so unrelated to his interests, but he's still his usual romantic self despite it all... sigh...

I didn't intend to get so detailed, but by the time I realized what I was doing, I had already written the whole thing. And it was like well... here we are. I don't know that you'll ever need that info for any reason ever at all, but now you have it anyway!

Thanks for dropping by!

[peculiarbluerose]

Tips I wish I knew for my first RE4R Hardcore playthrough (Original Campaign)

Notes:

-This can also be applied to lower difficulties to make it 10x easier

-This does not include tips for the Separate Ways DLC, but some of them can be applied, I suppose

-All of these are picked up from personal playthroughs as well as YouTube videos (Neon Slice influences the majority of these)

-I've also just played this game on the hardest difficulties too many times lol

1. FLASH GRENADES - They WILL be your best friend, I promise you. Why? They stun enemies for at least 5 to 10 seconds and you can melee them. Alternatively, you have a window to stab them (always a critical hit, perfect for mini bosses like the Brutes)

2. Keep at least one first aid spray on you at all times; this has saved me on several occasions, and not doing it has killed me

3. Ashley's armor is worth the hassle if you are trying to get the S+ rank on Professional (if it's your first run, professional will only be unlocked after you beat the game at least once)

4. If you are in a spot where you are overwhelmed, just RUN. Run if you can, especially if you're out of bullets and you're on your last knife. This is another situation where flash grenades are useful.

5. Speaking of flash grenades, if it is your first playthrough (or you just lack attention to detail), Plagas hate light and die when flashed by a flash grenade. If you have too many Plagas in the area, don't hesitate to throw a flash grenade. This is especially useful against the knights in Salazar's castle.

6. The only way you're gonna get infinite ammo is through an S+ rank on Professional, so don't even worry about that until later.

7. Yes, there are limits on saves and the number of hours it takes to complete the game in order to get certain ranks. If you don't know the rules to a rank, Google them. The game, if it does tell you, doesn't like to make those rules obvious.

8. Ashley is a pain in the rear end even with the armor. In areas like the Water Hall, she's immune to enemy attacks and Leon's bullets, yes, but she will still crouch down when surrounded, or get picked up (they can't carry her anywhere though since the armor makes her heavy, so she'll be in a constant cycle of screaming until you get rid of the zealots). Added this because I don't know how many people address this part of Ashley's armor.

9. On the flip side, the armor makes Ashley immune to attacks even during her segment of the game where you play as her, so you can walk through the knight room and be hit 45 times and be just fine. It makes that part of the game much easier.

10. One hit in Ashley's segment without armor, however, (yes, even just one) will result in a game over. Keep moving, know your paths before triggering things, and be quick about it.

11. Saddler is pathetic, even on hardcore mode. At the start of his battle, just shoot him with a rocket launcher and you'll be good to go, no time wasted

12. Two golden eggs thrown at Salazar (start of his battle, preferably. Much easier from there) will easily get his battle out of the way.

13. You know the room with the 4 Regeneradors in the test tube things? Yeah, those. Don't bother killing all of them, just get the wrench from the one and you'll be fine.

14. Speaking of Regeneradors, they're a pain. A big one. Keep your distance, they're slinky's. Keep your distance.

15. If the Regenerador is asleep (like the 4 test tube ones in the lab), line up two of the parasites (if you can, all three would be awesome, though) and shoot. It will make your job MUCH easier

16. Use the rocket launcher on Krauser when you're in the final battle with him. He's a tough one, and it's much easier to skip the fight. You also get his knife once he's dead, and it's better than Leon's. That's nice, I guess.

17. There's nothing you can do about Leon's slowness when approaching Luis's lab. That's meant to happen, and no, you can't skip it. On the bright side, you won't get hurt, either.

18. You may or may not have heard about the heavy grenade trick when Ashley is using the wrecking ball. Two heavy grenades will do the trick. If you don't have those, several normal grenades will suffice, but it will add a little extra time to your run.

19. Use flash grenade right as one of the two Giants (with Luis) are approaching the center of the room. It takes a second for the flash to go off, and it stops them just enough to open the trap door to incinerate one of them. Nice.

20. Take out the lamp guys ASAP. You know, the ones with the red lamps that make the zealots turn into Plagas? Those things. I hate 'em. Flash them with a flash grenade, then knife them. Best way to go, just like Brutes.

I hope this was of SOME use to you. I racked my memory for this info, it's a long game. If you want more, let me know. Should I do Separate Ways next?

[lix88888]

I would like to hear about eldritch family relationships, yes!

Also I mostly asked that because I was wondering if at any point ink nearly broke errors hand and cursed his name while he was delivering the twins. It sounds like it wasn’t that bad for him tho.

So the twins were born into the multiverse, and at the same time their eldritch forms were off chilling in eldritch land?

What was error and ink’s introduction to the concept of ‘the deed’? Did ink just see some AUs where people did it and thought he’d give it a try?

You don't know how much you made my day! Okay, I'll leave the ramble about the Errorink family for last, under a read more

As for the rest, I think Error's hand is fine lol. I recently read how @askfriskandcompany thinks about skeleton pregnancy on the side stories, and I think it's something I will start incorporating in my own headcanons: basically, after the deed, skeletons don't form ectobodies, but they have something that is described as a "bubble", floating stomach-height thanks to magic, in which the little skeleton grows and grows until it pops and here's the baby (almost all other monsters are super jealous, they have to go into labour). So, it's kinda like an egg? Super cool worldbuilding and makes sense (why go through all the trouble of making a body for 9 months? Nature is energy efficient).

And yeah, that's basically it: as already stated, Ink, Error and the kids have bodies, but they're more like avatars (actually, kinda like in the Avatar Movie, where the body is there, but if it breaks the soldiers wakes up in a pod).

Ink already knew about sex from when he first examined Gaster's mind before creating the Multiverse: basically, everything that Gaster knew, consciously or subconsciously, Ink also knows, and then he used Gaster's presence to peek inside the Original Undertale and get all kinds of details Gaster couldn't possibly know.

And now, Errorink family!

I and @stargazeraldroth have quite a few headcanons regarding Errorink, PJ and Gradient in general, and those tend to transfer in most works, so this is valid for Eldritchtale, but also usually for any of my other works.

The first thing is PJ and Gradient's personality and powers: PJ and Gradient are both similar and opposites in a lot of ways. Physically, PJ looks more like Ink, while Gradient looks more like Error, but this doesn't reflect exactly in their personality.

PJ is surly, rude and sarcastic, so personality-wise they're a lot more similar to Error than they are to Ink, and this includes their propension to destruction and violence rather than creation and art; Gradient, meanwhile, is soft-spoken, shy, socially awkward, a rather talented artist and a bit of a people-pleaser, so he got Ink's personality more than Error's.

(In many other AUs, I always headcanon that, if Error and Ink were to die/retire, PJ would become the next Destroyer and Gradient the next Protector for this reason).

However, if we go deeper, we can see that PJ cares a lot about things, that they're very loyal and driven, even if they can be impulsive (this is Ink's side coming through); following the same reasoning, Gradient is nice, but he can be calculating and obsessive, and even cruel if push comes to shove (this is all Error).

To explain with an example, if PJ wants revenge on you, they'd probably just shout at you or beat you up if you deserved it, but then they'd let it go; Gradient, on the other hand, would probably act nice to your face and then hit you were it hurts when you least expect it.

Basically, PJ is the brawns and Gradient is the brains.

In terms of powers, both kids can use either creative or destructive powers, though they each prefer one side (Gradient creation, and PJ destruction), but they also have another type of power: PJ has power over time, while Gradient has power over space. So, PJ can create time loops, go forward and bacwards in time a bit, see different branches in timelines, while Gradient can teleport effortlessly through the Multiverse better than anyone else, create portals linking places together, make pocket dimensions.

(@stargazeraldroth wrote a throwaway line in a story about PJ and Gradient working together to create a never ending corridor as a prank by combining their powers, and I think this sums up their relationship perfectly).

All of this to kinda contextualize, what is their relationship with each other and their parents?

The twins are very close, best friends, and together they're an unstoppable tag-team (if they decide you're dead, you're dead); whevener they fight, it's always resolved quickly, and there's no hard feelings.

Regarding Ink, both kids are mama's boys: very affectionate with Ink, just as protective as their dad. PJ is a bit louder about it ("What did you say to my mom?!") but Gradient is a bit more proactive ("Oh my, you tripped? How unlucky..."). Ink the one that also disciplines them more often, because Error doesn't care about the mess they make inside the Multiverse as long as it doesn't affect him lol. Gradient is a bit closer with Ink, because he shares similar interests, while PJ will willingly spend time with Ink painting, but doesn't enjoy it themselves.

Error is a bit more hands off, but it doesn't mean he loves the kids any less: he rarely tells them he loves them or that he's proud, but he knows and remembers everything they tell him/talk about, and gives them thoughtful gifts taking those things into account. When he spends time with Gradient, it's them together in silence doing things they both enjoy, while with PJ it's a bit meaner, but the fun kind ("You ready, brat?" "bring it on, old man!").

One last thing that Error and PJ both share? Their dislike of Dream lmao, because given his upbringing, he developed some confusing feelings for Ink: the poor guy idolized Ink from a young age, so he's in-between wanting a parental bond with him and having a crush, and neither option is something Error or PJ like, despite the fact that Ink would never replace either of them with Dream. Ah, they're jealous, what can you do?

All in all, they're very close and happy together.

[hale-powiyewe]

This comment had so many questions that were illuminating on building upon this world further beyond what I even planned on so thank you so much bestie for being so enthusiastic 😭💜💜💜💜 I'd like to please request that you redirect your amazing questions from now on to asks because I'd LOVE to answer them but the comment area is so limiting like this post right here!

1.) if Y!Ford had met O!Stan first he would definitely take longer to piece things together especially considering the O!Twins got here through a rift in space?? LOL but Y!Ford isn't stupid, one look at O!Stan through his binoculars he knew she was who she was. People often say that they took after their father so much, while this may be a coincidence where he met a relative from his dad's side, being in a perfect spying spot where the O!Ford also just happens to be while crying her heart out was just so obvious that Y!Ford is like : 😲😲😲 instead of : 🤯🤯🤯 LMAOAOAO

2.) I haven't really thought about addressing Constance crying in the comic much but you can definitely see her try to deflect and try to put her walls up in the next few installments as she fixes up her looks and tries the self deprecating jokes that she always uses on herself and Y!Ford clocks on that IMMEDIATELY no sad gilf sister on his watch!! 😾💥💥💥

- But I figured this Stan wouldn't be as dismissive as someone seeing her crying like Canon!Stan. She doesn't cry much especially in her grifter days because most of the bad people she's around would more likely take delight in her tears than compassion but she definitely isn't above using her feminine wiles against the public since people are more likely to feel pity for a girl/woman than if C!Stan would have tried this. So she's pretty comfortable in her femininity and doesn't try to reject it as much like when she was under Filbrick's roof but when she felt the stability of peace under Ford's cabin her tears became a private thing not something to use to dupe unsuspecting joggers or clerks nearby or the man that bought her for a night that had dacryphilia, no. Tears were to grieve, to mourn, and to FEEL especially with her headspace in the past with Ford's portal-ization she didn't want to let anyone see her cry because it felt like acknowledging that she was breaking apart. Sometimes she didn't even let HERSELF see her face crying in the mirror because she felt the need to fool even herself that she's okay and that she can fix this because if she gave up Ford would be gone forever because she didn't even TRY. She would bring him back even if it's the last thing she does!!

- And she did!! So tears weren't only to grieve anymore, it was used to feel joy! And being around Dipper and Mabel definitely helped with that especially after weirdmagedon where she's vulnerable and in a blank state people had to continue telling her that it was okay to let others know how she felt because how would others help otherwise so it ends up in being one big cuddle pile between all of them <333 🥰🥰🥰

The whole Pines gang chilling on the floor with the addition of Soos and Wendy in a cuddle pile watching some random soap opera Stan currently likes : 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Stan randomly : Holy shit I just remembered I snorted drugs off a camel's back in mexico???

The others : 😦😦😦😦????

So now they get these random bits of Stan's life and they're like a nuke bomb LMAO because Stan doesn't have the word moderation in her vocabulary and it's either she doesn't tell them anything at all or she's telling them everything in gruesome detail LMAOOOOOOO

But thanks again for this wonderful comment bestie!! I hope just me ranting isn't too much of a bore 😭💜💜💜

[thegeminisage]

i guess it star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "armageddon game" and tng's "sub rosa."

armageddon game (ds9):

this one was so fun and evil. i LOVE when obrien and julian are besties and yes they fought once but they were besties in most of this

NIGHTMARE scenario for keiko. im glad they actually put her in this instead of it happening offscreen but im sad there was no reunion :(

keiko realizing the recording had been tampered with bc of the coffee thing and then finding out that wasnt true is actually lowkey terrifying. they came THIS CLOSE. what a twist ending

quark's toast was like...strangely sweet. good for him.

i cant believe DAX was gonna keep julians journals instead of sending them back to his parents?? i also cant believe julian kept a diary for years and then decided to hand all of his diaries to his crush lol like he is insane

julian foot fetish also. don't think i forgot. i didn't. what a loser <3

these aliens being so committed to peace they'll kill people is actually kind of funny. you missed the point by lightyears

i liked how serious sisko was in this episode. he was wearing his very very very serious face. he was not fucking around. i also liked that he believed keiko INSTANTLY. on tng picard would have offered 1000000 other reasons why keiko was out of her mind bc in fairness she does sound fucking nuts but sisko believed her right away and immediately started an investigation because he trusts his people and also by extension their spouses. ugh i love him SO MUCH sisko for PRESIDENT

sub rosa (tng):

wow. wow wow wow wow wow

where do i even. BEGIN. with sub rosa

so, i knew there was a sex ghost in this episode and i was sort of aware that the sex ghost fucked or wanted to fuck beverly. but i had NO IDEA what i was truly in for

firstly, let's get this out of the way, this is a FAMILY SEX GHOST. "all the howard women have green eyes" "nana was over 100 and had a lover!" can you IMAGINE having like a family vibrator. the same vibrator your grandma used. getting off to her erotic diary entries. getting off, i repeat, to your grandma's stories about your grandma HAVING SEX with the SAME SEX GHOST who is chatting you up. beverly is INSANE

deanna took all this with so much good sportsmanship. first of all, i'm so thrilled that they're the kind of girlfriends who can share their wet dreams with one another in GRAPHIC detail. secondly, her fucking face journeys when beverly was talking about this shit in ten forward I REPEAT IN PUBLIC SHE WAS LIKE YEAH I WAS GETTING OFF TO MY GRANDMA'S DIARY

picard SOOOO put off that beverly would leave his ass to fuck a 30yo with long hair. JUSTICE! who's skipping breakfast now bitch. run around on her one more time i fucjing dare you. you WILL respect the woman you impregnated with the affair baby

speaking of affair babies, when beverly was like yeah all my family members have green eyes except mom and me i was like......is SHE the affair baby? sadly, no. but i know she had one

beverly looked the most beautiful she's ever been by the way. real bodice ripper shit. picard you blew it so bad

speaking of bodice ripper, there is a version of this where it's very serious and an allegory for abuse and the sex was dubiously consensual etc etc etc. this has happened to deanna so many times and it was so icky because it was obviously a male fantasy which objectified her. fortunately i don't think anyone can be expected to take a story seriously when it involves your grandma's sex ghost so i was perfectly happy to have a good time

WHEN THEY EXHUJED THE BODY. BY SIMPLY BEAMING IT OUT OF THE GROUND.

nana who looked not even a little bit dead sitting up in her coffin bc she was possessed and zapping the daylights out of geordi and data. PLEASE.

also, sorry, i nearly forgot, but picard walking in on her while she was quite literally fucking the sex ghost. ohhhh i KNOW he was sick

OH YEAH AND. the gravestones saying vader and mcfly. set designers i love you forever

anyway, hands down the funniest and perhaps my favorite tng episode of all time. that was the first real laugh i've had in almost a week

TONIGHT: ds9's "whispers" and tng's "lower decks."

[general--winter]

uchiha shisui x reader - not a snowbird

author's note: I PROMISE I'm working on requests, I've just been working a bit more on ventfic one shots in my free time since it's finals and I kinda can't function, especially since I graduate university in two weeks, lol. This fic is greatly inspired by my own experiences with anxiety attacks and mental illness, so it's definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of deal. Hope you all enjoy!

rating: teen

fandom: naruto

pairing: uchiha shisui x gn!reader

word count: 2419

warnings: anxiety attacks, self-doubt/self-loathing, general mental illness descriptions

summary: snowbird - someone who migrates to warmer climates to avoid the winter cold

Sometimes, you can feel the void in your chest.

It burns ice into your heart, into your stomach. You shiver but you aren’t actually cold. It sucks the oxygen out of your lungs and causes you to hyperventilate. Your extremities tremble, every muscle in your body tenses. You try to catch your breath. There was no air to be consumed. You’re drowning in anxiety, the ice seizing control of every nerve in your body and brain, curling through them and freezing you from the inside-out. Your limbs scrunch up and your throat constricts, fighting against your instinct to breathe. At some point, the feeling in your hands and feet has vanished. It’s almost as if your body wants to shut down. That would certainly make sense, considering your inability to form any cohesive thought. Primitive thought was all you were capable of. Basic survival instincts. But even those are pushing to their max; seeing as your heart rate has skyrocketed and you’re heaving for breath faster than if you’d just ran a mile. Even though quite literally nothing had happened to make your fight-or-flight instincts surface.

Yeah. Anxiety attacks were fun. Especially when you had to hide them from your  house party guests. When they're the presumed cause.

You pulled yourself into a ball, trying to drain any heat you could from the wool blanket you kept in the bathroom for this very purpose. All you were able to do was drench it in your chills-induced sweat. And the tile floor pressed against your cheek was certainly not doing you any favors.

All the while, your thoughts raced. There were so, so many people around. All asking you about every minute detail about your life. Teasing you about your worst insecurities, prodding at topics that made you freeze up. It was too much at once. Everyone here was just a reminder of your past failures. Asking you why you never moved away from home, what happened to the rebellious nature you used to flaunt, why you were so compliant with the life path you always denounced—

From tailbone to skull, a violent, spasming shiver wracked your body. Where did all of your body heat go during times like these, you wondered? Did the cool floor drain it away? Or was your body leeching every ounce of warmth into the air to further torture you? There simply was no answer now, though you rationally knew it was just a sensation. A trick of the body and mind.

This situation sucked. And you had to reel it in before the partygoers got suspicious of their host’s absence. The music and chatter of your family and friends taunted you from outside, morphing into a muffled rumble as they entered your perception. Were you underwater? Your lungs might as well be filling with water rather than air. There was no relief from your stressed breathing.

It was a failure. Just like everything else in your life. Like how you couldn't do what you promised at seventeen, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the doors of your university. Sure, you had graduated, but now what? You’re back in your hometown, right where you said you would never go again. Now your body’s natural instincts were betraying you, were kicked into overdrive. Making you a panicked mess on the floor of your new apartment’s bathroom. It was pathetic, you thought.

Knock, knock, knock!

The clear, rapt knocks of the wooden door pierced your eardrums through the haze of noise beyond, causing you to jump in place, clutching ever stronger to anything you could use to ground yourself, to physically keep yourself from sinking. Who came to your bathroom? The party was in another part of the apartment with a half-bath nearby. No one even knew where this one was, nor did they have any reason to come all the way here. It was your safe space. A defensive cove no one would find while you were breaking down. Honestly, you were shocked you had half a mind to stumble in here however long ago you started to panic. A few minutes? An hour? What time was it, anyway?

“Hey, is everything alright in there?” a voice gently spoke from the other side. Who had come here to laugh at your misery? Your senses were so overwhelmed that you barely registered the identity of the voice.

You couldn’t, didn't want to muster a response to this mystery person. They were surely someone you knew, and out of the twenty-or-so people at your place right now, there was only one you think you could eventually be okay with finding you here.

And, well, to your (mis)fortune, that exact person picked the lock of the bathroom effortlessly and nudged the door open. It made sense, after all. He was the only person who could ever tell when you left the room; it seemed that sometimes you were invisible to everyone but him. Your sunken-in, puffed eyes met his near-black ones above, sparkling and wide with concern. Half-delirious, you weren’t sure if he was an angel coming down from above to save you or a devil stalking over its prey.

“Oh, sweetie,” he sighed, coming to kneel down in front of you after quietly closing the door. The closer he got, the faster your breath rushed through your lungs. When he got too close, you were sure he could feel the arctic rush of air settled around your cocoon.

“Shisui… help,” you managed in a herculean effort.

“Do I help by staying or leaving?” he whispered, still crouched.

“Staying,” you forced out, reaching for his hand like you were about to tumble down a sheer cliff.

“Physical touch is okay?” he checked.

“Yes… No more talking for now… please.” The voice croaking those words was almost foreign. 

With a nod, Shisui scooped you up, blanket and all. He was so, so warm. Like you were laid atop a furnace. You sucked every ounce of heat from his body while he silently took you to your bed. His breathing obviously deepened and took on a steady rhythm. Was he trying to get you to match?

Shisui placed you gingerly under your comforter, pulling away the emergency blanket from your shoulders. In an instant he'd worked his way around to the other side of the bed and slipped under to grasp your halfway-catatonic body, folded instantly into a cocoon, in a warm embrace.

There was something about the way Shisui cuddled you, especially at times like these. While you were in that fetal position with your eyes clamped shut, trying to catch your breath at his pace like you ran a marathon, the pressure of his arms and body on you breathed life back into your icy limbs. Sensations in your fingers and toes returned, first to static and then to the gentle rubbing of Shisui's dress shirt and pants.

And when his hand stroked your head in just the right way, Shisui was blown back by the force of your reciprocated hug. He let out a gentle chuckle and continued to calm you. One of Shisui's arms was anchored around your shoulders, making sure you were tethered to reality, to your bed. His free hand traced gentle, random patterns on the plane of your clothed back. A long time ago, you'd told him that it was one of the most relaxing things someone could do to you. Ever since, it has been Shisui's go-to in these situations.

Your face dug into his chest, the scent of cologne overtaking your senses. The familiarity of it all smashed the breaks on your heartbeat and your body’s functions started to finally decelerate. Shisui was a very soft person to lay on. He was a lot more fit than you, but there was still some squish to his body. It filled out his figure aesthetically, but what mattered more to you was that it made him so much more comfortable to cuddle.

However, you suddenly became self-aware of how much your grasping hands must have been messing up his shirt and wrinkling the entire backside. Oh great, and you were starting to cry on his chest, making it all soggy. What if Shisui wanted to get back to having fun with everyone? If you remembered correctly, he was in an animated conversation with your dad about something. Weren’t you holding him back from doing what he wanted? And… did you even deserve to be comforted after abandoning your guests?

Swiftly, you let go of Shisui and tried to turn your back to him to make him let go. That, infuriatingly, did nothing to sway his grasp on your body, although now he was quite confused. His brows knitted together and his soft gaze was fixated on you. Only you.

I don’t even think I deserve to be comforted, you spiraled. I’m ripping Shisui away from his fun time and letting everyone else down just because I’m too pathetic to put up with some silly questions.

“You can go back,” you breathed out onto his shirt after trying in vain once again to worm your way from his arms and cocoon once again into your bed. “I don’t want to keep you. And I should go back soon, too.”

“Hey, you little dumpling,” gently teased Shisui, the soft lilt of his voice drawing a sob closer to your throat. You felt one of his rough hands run atop your head again. “I’m here for you, you've gotta get better. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You opened your eyes and looked upwards, facing his tender expression. Normally, your heart would waver, but right now you were too caught up in your own self-loathing and panic to even think about that.

“But we really should get back to the party. I don’t want to hold you back from everyone,” you whispered. “I’ve already messed up your shirt too. It’s not presentable anymore. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry.” A firm, but loving tone accompanied these words. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I know this can happen to you. I’m sorry that this is something you experience.”

Shisui shifted to sit up with a creak of the bed, dragging your head to lay on his soft lap. Your gaze focused up his body to look at him. One cheek was pressed against his body, the other caressed by his hand, gently wiping away the mist of tears on your lashes.

“If I could take on all of the hurt, all of the anxiety you experience, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t. So the second best thing I can do is be here while you do.”

“But I’m wasting your time,” you whimpered. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this. With me.”

“Hey. No,” Shisui gently scolded, bringing his palm to stroke your one upturned cheek. You hesitantly met his intense gaze, focusing more on his eyelashes than his pupils. “When I said I wanted to be your boyfriend all that time ago, I meant it. And that means I’m your partner. During the ups and downs, during times of suffering and joy. I’m not a snowbird, I’m here for all of it. I chose to be with all of you. And this is included. So I will dedicate myself to you fully.” He smirked. "That's just the kind of guy I am, yeah?"

You let out a little snort, his speech breaking through the final layer of ice surrounding your heart. “That kind of sounded like wedding vows.”

A red-hot blush spread across Shisui’s face, and his once-intense eyes now shied away. He muttered while shoving his face slightly into your pillow, but you were able to catch what he said:

“Maybe I should write that down so I can say it again one day.”

A ghost of a smile graced your lips. Once again, you wrapped your arms around Shisui’s waist, now enjoying the rise and fall of his breath. The periodic motion and slight whistle of his nose slowed your beating heart while finally and successfully matching your breaths to his. No longer was ice pumping through your veins, but real, genuine blood that breathed life into your body once more.

You allow the sensation of being present in the moment to wash over you a bit more. In this time, you shift yourself back up into a sitting position to nuzzle into Shisui's shoulder, his arm draping over you once more and one hand reaching out to pinch your nose shut.

"If you don't mind me asking," he spoke with care, "what's got you so worked up? I've gathered that you feel guilty for keeping me and for leaving the party, but—"

You cut him off in a nasally voice. "I was just super overwhelmed by everyone asking me questions that shamed me. It wasn’t on purpose, I don’t think. They're all done by now, it was at the beginning of the party, but it was just really digging under my skin."

"Okay," Shisui replied with a snicker, letting go of your nose. "It’s over, then. You’ve got it out of your system. There’s no need to feel guilty, either. You were feeling unwell, so you left. I’m pretty proud of you for that. Maybe we can work up to leaving before an attack starts. You know, set some boundaries.”

“Yeah, I can talk to my therapist about it,” you replied. “I still feel a little guilty about everything, but… thank you for being here for me.”

“Of course. Anything for you, alright? Are you up to going back?”

“I think I spent all of my energy,”  you said, volume barely above a whisper. “I don't think I’ll be able to get out of this bed no matter how hard I try.”

“The party’s been winding down anyway. I’ll get rid of everyone for you, yeah?”

Shisui slipped out of the bed in one fluid motion, leaving a pool of warmth behind. Your head hit the backboard and your eyes slid closed, soaking in the presence that Shisui left behind as he took care of wrapping up your get-together. He was always so kind and understanding with you. It made your heart race in a different, more pleasing fashion. No matter what, he always made sure you knew you were supported by him. And, well, no matter how hard your brain tried to fight, you knew Shisui would always be there to grapple back until you learned how.

[weemsfreak]

The Board Pt 2: The Woman

Summary: Anura Ricci works for the Outcast school board. They're struggling with many factors in life, quietly. They know so much, but can't seem to figure out exactly how to make themself happy. They befriend a certain Principal, and things begin to seem brighter for them. (Probably 12 chapters)

Tw: mention of past SH behaviour

Note: Plz give me feedback if you like it! Or don't like it lol ~2000 words.

Pt 1: The Man

Mid September

As your alarm went off, you looked to the time and saw 5:30am. You questioned why you stayed up until 2am reading old papers in Latin, you knew you needed more sleep than 3 and a half hours. Dreading an hour flight, hour wait, and an hour train ride, you found yourself in the shower, desperately trying to rinse out the cherry red dye that you put in your hair two days prior. Messing with your image was something you did to replace your older coping mechanisms, which according to your husband were much more harmful. They were, you knew, but it's hard to get away from the things that were once so comforting. Watching the red dye fall down your chest and arms, you look to your new tattoo, covered with transparent protective material. The look and feel of your arm was slightly different than you were used to, yet it was all too similar.

On the plane you found yourself diving back into the Latin language. Yes, it is a dead language, but it’s importance in so many subjects lead to the need to be understood by you, in order to posses all the knowledge you longed to. You knew many languages, English, French, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, German and Russian, which you learned by the time you were 25.

The last 5 years have been rocky to say the least. You've been married since you were 20, had this job since you were 18, and knew more than anyone you've ever met. Since you turned 25, you've felt distant from your husband, tired from your job, and haven't been as interested in learning things as you once were. Again, you were tired of your job. The travelling mostly, but also the being alone. Right after you graduated, the outcast board took you on due to your language knowledge, organizational skills, and expertise in many fields. You are exceptionally good at recognizing details and scoping things out when going on school visits, as well as conversing with the teachers and higherups. You were lucky to have this well paying job so young, but when you look back, you can't help but think of the many other jobs that could have benefitted you, and still would.

Finally on the train, you took a break from the Latin and focused on the scenery. There was so much nature and so many trees compared to where you lived, and that's one thing you liked about travelling. Maybe travelling wouldn't even be that bad if you had someone to do it with. Your husband traveled for work, but as he had the same job as you, you never traveled to the same places at the same time, and alas, you were always apart. In the back of your mind you were happy about that, even though you knew you shouldn't be.

At the train station, you looked to the time, 11:25am. You were hungry now as all you ate for breakfast was a protein bar on the plane. Walking through Jericho, you came across a bookstore, flower shop, bar, café, and Pilgrim world. Wait, what's Pilgrim world? Not out of the ordinary for a small town you thought, it intrigued you to learn about the history behind places you travelled to. Stopping at the Weathervane café, you found your way inside and put your suitcase in a corner booth. Since it was lunch time, it was pretty busy. You were used to places being busy though, considering you lived in New York City. You looked at the menu and you decided to just get a breakfast sandwich. Coffee, although you loved it, just heightened your anxiousness, and hot chocolate was not something you found appealing, too sugary.

While you ate your breakfast sandwich, you observed people in the café. Some Nevermore students were there. You remembered reading that they weren’t allowed to go into town during lunch, for safety reasons. Besides them, it looked to be a bunch of older people, and some kids, probably from a normie school. Everyone just looked like a bunch of normies, but I guess you did too, since your ability is not a visibly presenting or obvious one.

After finishing your breakfast sandwich, you walked up to the two students from Nevermore. "Hi, nice to meet you" you said with a smile. They looked at you with a bit of concern, wondering what you would want with them, and why you had a suitcase. "Bella and Sydney, if I remember correctly? I'm joking, of course I do" you said with a smirk, knowing that they were super confused. "Yes, how did you know?" Bella said. "I work for the outcast school board, my name is Mx. Ricci and I am here to observe Nevermore and report on how this term is starting out. I do believe I read somewhere that Nevermore students aren't allowed out in Jericho during lunch due to safety concern, is that true?" you asked them, and they looked at each other in defeat. "Yes, it’s true, we'll walk back to school now, sorry" Sydney said. "Nonsense, I'm getting a taxi there right now, I'll give you both a ride if you show me to Principal Weems' office when we get there." They both half smiled and Bella said "Deal."

 When you got to Nevermore, you were in awe. It was a literal castle, so well kept and decorated, and the iron gates and gargoyles made it look so spooky, in a good way. Bella and Sydney lead you up to Principal Weems' office, and you thanked them before going to knock on her door. To their surprise and yours, Principal Weems called to them while walking towards you from the hall, and they looked like they wanted to run. "Sydney, Bella, what are you doing up here? Aren't you supposed to be in the meal hall?" She chirped at them. "Forgive me Principal Weems, I couldn't find my way to your office and I asked them if they would show me" you smiled at her, knowing it was her from the one photo you remembered seeing. Also, you knew your way to her office, having never been to Nevermore before, because you briefly saw a map of the school online. She turned to them "Well, thank you for your help girls, now get to meal hall before lunch is over". You winked at them before they turned and ran to meal hall, hoping you wouldn't tell principal Weems that you caught them at the Weathervane. Turning back to Principal Weems, you held out your hand, "Principal Weems, I am Anura Ricci, from the board. It is so nice to meet you." Her face turned from stern to soft, she shook your hand but gave you a confused look. "Nice to meet you Mx. Ricci. Forgive me, but I did not know you would be arriving so soon. I would have picked you up from the train station myself." You smiled at her and reassured her with a "no worries." She in fact did look worried, but you weren’t really sure why. She unlocked her office door and pushed it open, gesturing for you to enter first.

Walking over to her taxidermy bear in the corner, you admired all the interesting décor that lined her office. You looked to her huge fireplace on the opposite wall, a couch in front of it. She gestured for you to sit in front of her desk, so you did. "Wow, I saw photos of this place online, but I didn't think it would be this immaculate in person." Larissa sat down at her desk. "Yes, it is quite beautiful, the photos don't do it justice. So, did you attend an outcast school?" You panned to her desk where you saw a unicorn mug resting on it. You smirked, "Yes I did, in Italy. Just a small school, nothing too fancy."

You went over your plans for the next two days with her and she seemed content with you listening in on classes and making sure things were up to date. She took a deep breath, "Mx. Ricci, I must let you know, since you will be here during the event, that I am planning a school trip into Jericho tomorrow. I understand that I am not supposed to be planning outcast-normie events or spending time on these sort of things, but I really think the students would benefit from a trip to Pilgrim world, to learn more of Jericho's history." She paused after spilling this information, in doing so, she sounded like a student telling on themselves for doing something they weren’t supposed to. She continued, "Before you say anything, I funded this trip myself, so no worries about wasting the schools money." No worries? No, worries. Is this why she looked worried earlier? You were extremely confused. "Principal Weems, I appreciate you being honest with me. I am slightly confused though. Why do you sound like you're doing something you aren't supposed to be doing" you let out a giggle, "and why did you fund it yourself? The board allows Nevermore funding for trips like this." She looked to you, more confused than you were. Just then, you recalled hearing something that your co-worker Mr. Martell had said in a meeting awhile ago. You recalled it perfectly. 'That pretentious Hitchcock pin-up shapeshifter. Women think they can do whatever they want, spend all our money, 'fix' normie-outcast relations.' It came back to you like it had just been said. "Principal Weems, I believe you are a pretentious Hitchcock pin-up shapeshifter, according to my co-worker." She looked at you baffled, as she recalled that was exactly what he had called her. You continued, "The board, embarrassingly so, is all over the place. We don't see eye to eye sometimes. If you want to push outcast-normie relations and be involved with the rest of Jericho, please by all means. And as for the funding, you will have all the money you wish, I will see to it." You admired her drive, her motivation, and the way she cared for the students. She let out a breath and put her hand over her chest in relief. She smiled with her teeth and tilted her head, with a "thank you Mx. Ricci." You laughed at her, she looked adorable all anxious, "breathe, Larissa" you joked. "My last board visit was rather, unpleasant, and I was prepared for the same thing again." You looked up at her giggling, knowing who was here last time and what he had said, but not knowing what had really happened. "I do believe Mr. Martell was here last time, and hopefully without sounding pretentious, you're lucky I'm here."

She showed you your temporary quarters and you immediately turned on the tv. Putting on a documentary, you spoke just as she was turning in the doorway about to leave. "Principal Weems, I will be staying here tomorrow to explore the school since no students will be present. I hope you have a joyous day in Jericho, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call." She nodded and a blush was evident on her cheeks, you knew she was relieved that you were not unpleasant, like a certain man. "Mx. Ricci, may I ask you a question?" You nodded your head yes, wondering why she had to ask. "I know nothing about you, but you seem to know things about me. How did you know who I was when you saw me, and how did you know about my last board visit exactly?" You grinned, you knew more about her than that. "I remember things I hear and see when they're something that I care about. I saw your photo online before I arrived. If I'm not being too forward Principal Weems, in person you are quite beautiful. The photo doesn't do you justice, to quote yourself" you said with a wink. You sat down and got lost in the documentary.

Pt 3: Trivia

[postalninja]

Fic Author Q&A

Tagged by @cicaklah - thanks babe! (sorry if my answers end up vague or unsatisfying, it's past midnight and i would be in bed if there wasn't a music festival currently happening outside my window - I"m not exactly at my best lol)

1. Why do you write fanfic?

It started from the desire to make fictional characters kiss, which is still a large part of why I do it, so let's go with that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I don't really know - I tend to think about a lot of my stories pretty often after they're finished, I'm not sure that there is a specific one I fixate on. They all get a bit of time in my brain, and i tend to go and re-read stuff too.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

S l o w d o w n. Don't be afraid of big word counts, it'll take as many words as it takes, and rushing toward the finish line will just make the pacing suffer. Make room for the moments in between, let the story breathe.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

Lately I've found that not looking at them in too much detail is better. Over the summer I found myself looking at my stats for validation, and of course, not finding it there. But the problem is in my head, not on the stats page. So they are just numbers that are there, and if I need to check something specific, then that's a useful thing to have.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I've really fallen off of writing for Hitman over the past couple of years, with only one short ficlet as a recent offering. It's one of the fandoms were my muse has been fleeting, but the fandom is so wonderful that I miss being a more active participant in it.

6. What motivates you to write?

Lately I have a pretty hard time writing without having clear inspiration, so that's the most surefire motivation is just being struck by an idea that grabs me and won't let go until I get it down on the page. But that sort of inspiration is hard to come by, so I haven't been writing very much in its absence.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

In most cases it's because I have a ship I'm obsessed with, and if not that than just general love for the game (it's almost always a game, let's not kid ourselves) and the characters. It's hard for me to write for a fandom unless I'm at least a little bit unhealthily obsessed with it.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Normally I will take a break, and some of those breaks have turned out longer than others... I have a few unfinished wips that are an albatross around my neck, and I'm not sure how to go about finishing them.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

They are all an author wants! We want to hear about what you liked and why, and given the chance we would talk your ear off about our fics, so don't ever feel like you're bothering an author by commenting something nice on their fic, we are looking for that engagement and validation.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

What's something you've been excited about/feeling good about recently with your writing? One thing I will mention is that a few days ago I went back and read a bunch of free writing exercises I did for a class last semester that i hadn't looked at since - I had completely forgotten about most of them, but when I read them again the majority of them were so good! It kind of bolstered my confidence that I had that kind of quality output from 10-minute warmups where I wasn't thinking too hard. Like, even though I haven't written much lately, I still know how to write!!

Not tagging anyone specific, just whoever want to do it because I am too tired to think and decide :)

[lambda-core]

Every time I see some post about how children have lower tech literacy, and the comments are all from nerdy types my age and above going "kids just need to develop technical hobbies!", I want to bang my head into my desk.

There are still kids with technical hobbies. My sibling is 15, built his own PC, and spent most of middle school hopping between Linux distros. His friend circle is full of kids who code and mod games for fun. These kids got into technical hobbies because they was naturally something that interested them--and because their families had the resources to encourage them to pursue them. These aren't the kids who are falling behind in technical literacy.

Your average adult doesn't seem to understand how many social barriers there are to getting into a nerdy hobby, especially when everybody around you acts like it's common knowledge but you've got zero background in it. When was the last time you picked up a hobby you knew so little about, you didn't even know how to estimate how much you didn't know? I don't mean the last time you, someone who's dabbled in making videogames since you could type on a keyboard, learned a new engine or language. For a kid who's only ever interacted with the web through mobile apps, telling them to forego all the tools they do understand how to use to like, learn how to code a raspberry pi, is like telling them to fly to another country and learn the language on the fly. Some kids will enjoy that! I think most will think you're insane.

And that's not even getting into the fact that from the kid's perspective, you aren't some angel parting the clouds and lowering to their level to save them from a life of tech illiteracy by being the first and only person to have told them "just switch to Linux lol". You're some lame grown-up telling them their hobbies suck and they should get a new one they know nothing about. Would you have taken that advice in high school? Or middle school? Be fr.

This isn't even getting into the fact that your average child these days isn't less technically literate; they're also less literate. I've heard anecdotes from teachers across the education system that students lack fundamental reading comprehension skills as far up as university. Personally, I would argue that learning a technical subject may be a useful way to teach students to read and retain detailed information from a text. But you have to understand that these students are starting from a lower level of reading skills than you would have been at their age. So telling them to just figure out how Linux works? Or game modding? You're throwing a kid who can't read to the wolves here.

I think there is something to be said for reaching kids where they are and showing them how using technical tools can help them accomplish things they already want to do. But most of these people don't want to put in the effort to figure out where they are and work from there. They just want to yell at kids these days for having deficits in their technical knowledge so they can feel better about themselves and their own relationship with technology. Who does that help?

[vampmilf]

ty! 🙏 (yea she won't see bcs I won't reblog lol), anyway she and some other friends we've been tight since teenage years (we're 30+ now), but she always had a bit of self esteem issues thanks to her mom who drilled to her that public image is EVERYTHING. (her family drama is insane too bcs her dad left them when she was born so she grew up with her mom and step-dad, who she learned at 20yo had a whole ass other family in the same town... They separated and her mom went deep into conspiracy groups, and I mean flat-earth level conspiracies 😭 we're a small Europe country this is not US.... Her mom is now secretly dating a twice younger guy who also has a wife and a baby kid....)

Anyway those insecurities would often be projected on her friends and it often felt like she's ranking us by "coolness", whatever that means. She's tall and conventionally pretty so sometimes she'd look at me silently and say "I'm so glad I have nice legs.." or shit like that. She'd also constantly call herself fat bespite being the skinniest of all. That type of thing, but we knew it's part of childhood trauma so we'd brush it off. Whatever.

Then she started dating a guy who's on a paper a perfect feminist but actually is just a loser asshole. He would give her only backhanded compliments, like if she was making a gourmet dinner for hours he'd go "mm it's not really good. But it's okay you tried and I didn't expect anything anyway. I still love you." 🤮 In front of all guests. And she'd laugh and say "yeah he knows me best I don't know much in the kitchen he's so much better 🥰" 🤮🤮 She had to BEGGG and NAG for a wedding ring because he didn't want to get married and they had many arguments about it! And she kept saying to us "I don't really love him but I'm not gonna get anyone else so.." 😬 Or "yeah I'll break up" but didn't mean it. Every time I was meeting her I got so upset because she didn't want help and she thoroughly enjoyed her shitty situation she herself created! So she'd beg to meet with me, trauma-dump and then leave all happy and relieved, and I was feeling like shit for a week until I decided I need to really distance myself because this wasn't normal at all. So we barely talked. She still invited me to her wedding which I attended but I won't lie it was hard watching all the picture perfect wedding when I knew all the shit behind it. (and that shit was to the level she once mentioned that she was feeling really sick from contraceptics but there was no other option bcs her feminist bf refused to use condoms 🙄).

She asked to meet for a coffee today, we haven't seen each other in a while and to be honest it was kind of nice, she seems a lot better now and a lot less of her bs, so I did enjoy listening that her life seems to go on track finally (they're buying a house that she always dreamed about). But I didn't push for details. We talked for 3h and not once did she ask how I'm doing. I used to be salty about that, but today I realized I don't really want her to know how I'm doing. I just don't care. I'm glad she's ok but I'm also a bit sad for past me, because honestly I could have stopped caring so much sooner.

Idk there's no ending message only that some people enjoy fucking up their lives and there's literally nothing you can do for them 🤷‍♀️

oh. my god. i dont even know where to start WOW

the family backstory hello???? insane start to just set the scene, holy fuck.

the boyfriend sounds like and absolute fucking loser asshole i hope he goes incontinent at age 35, refusing to wear condoms and esp if contraceptives make your gf sick is absolutely fucking vile jfc

but also the whole. some people just want to stay in shitty situations forever and keep complaining about it instead of changing anything and all you can do is watch them wallow in self pity for eternity. been there done that. had a friend whos bf treated her like dog shit and every other week theyd have a fight and break up and she sat sobbing on my couch for hours and id spend nights awake texting and calling and comforting her – only for her to get back together with him a few days later. i stopped counting how many times they "broke up". idk if she ever got out of it tbh, i broke off contact for other reasons so idk

but yeah :/ its not just relationships, i know people who are stuck in a variety of issues and shitty situations and some of them just. dont really put in any effort to get out of them? they just go "this sucks and everything is unfair anyways" and just call it a day with that.

you have to keep in mind ofc that its also not easy to break out of cycles but esp in cases like yours where she had the support to make it through an actual breakup, .... some people just dont want change. for whatever reasons 🤷🏻‍♀️

all you can do is let them make their own decisions and either keep showing support and offer a shoulder to cry on, or decide this is affecting yourself too negatively and distance yourself