#And then I was like Oh Well 2018 wasn't /that/ long ago - but that was well over four years ago now

[sysig]

Bunny witch 🐇💕 (Patreon)

[vettelsvee]

GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆PART 6: LITTLE WHITE LIES [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist | a not so secret santa project ‼️ f1 masterlist | ao3 | ask anything or let's talk!

ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader (smau)

summary: seb just wants y/n to accept that contract, and he's going to do everything he can to make it happen. also... the sebastian vettel fandom goes wild when her ex girlfriend does her comeback

warnings: curse words, bad language. mentions of cheating. faceclaim: emma stone, hanna prater

taglist: [ @saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]

a/n: surprise, i posted again! and first smau! I've been wanting to do one of this for a long time, so i hope you like it (please tell me)! feedback (please let me now what you thought of this!) and reposts are truly appreciated. and also comment me your thoughts and theories on the story pls!

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

MAY 25TH 2018

JUNE 1ST 2018

ynyln just posted

ynyln moving on from him is impossible when i still see it all in my head in burning red... see you on june 15th x (more news coming soon... in july <3)

user1 omg are we having red mv? this is ALL red coded

user 2 THERE'S NO WAY SHE DID THIS ↳ user3 wait what is this about? ↳ user 2 user3 take a closer look to the pictures 😁 ↳ user4 i'm not getting it... someone explain it?

lewishamilton it's good to see you finally achieving your dreams! ❤️🙏🏿 ↳ ynyln can't wait to see you soon lew! missed you lots x

user6 she's absolutely insane for posting this pictures... i gotta love her ↳ user7 why is it with the pictures she chose to post? aren't they related to what her song says? ↳ user6 take a look at the twitter thread sebsrrari just posted!

user8 EXCUSE ME MISS YLN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT "SEE YOU SOON"? ↳ ynyln maybe redbullracing can give you a hint... ☺️ ↳ redbullracing ynyln, do you really want us to post certain something we have already saved? ↳ ynyln redbullracing you know i do! i don't know what are you waiting for?

user9 wait wasn't she dating sebastian vettel back in the day? it seems like she's recalling her years with him ↳ user10 i'm 110% sure that the quote goes to seb ↳ user11 and the fact that lewis has left a comment... they know i'm sure

user12 if this post has anything to do with seb... the og wag fandom is going to rise from the ashes and go WILD.

redbullracing just posted

redbullracing We are so delighted to announce that from now on we will officially become the main sponsor of our former golden girl, ynyln, who just started her career as a singer. Also... she will be joining us for the 2018 German Grand Prix next July! More details coming soon.

user1 THEY POSTED SEB AND Y/N OH MY GOD ↳ user2 is this some kind of throwback? weren't they dating a while back? 😯

user3 ok but the fact that they posted that picture makes me think maybe seb and y/n never really lost touch... could this be the start of something more than just sponsorship? ↳ user4 exactly thought this! there's definitely something more going on

user5 seb and y/n together again in 2018 does this mean they're dating again or is it just for promo? ↳ user6 probably promo... ↳ user7 or maybe they know something we don't... ↳ user8 really why posting a picture of them together when they broke up a while ago? ↳ user9 user8 WAIT THEY WERE DATING? ↳ user8 user9 yes! twitter is now full of their story, it's quite a romantic one but also bittersweet... it didn't end well according to most of people

user10 of course seb's the reason y/n's getting back in the spotlight ↳ user11 seb and y/n have way too much chemistry for you to say that ↳ user12 exactly! seeing her again after going viral without us knowing, and her being with seb again, is making me think there’s more to this story!

[sgiandubh]

@outlanderskin :"For those who have doubts: just research a little about Caitríona's dating history. See how she treated Dave and James and how she talked about them in interviews. See how she wrote about the Irish boyfriend she had in Paris in that article. Compare all of this to the impersonal way she treats or talks about Tony. Bingo🙃"

Good point 👌

Dear Good Point Anon,

You know, it's really serendipitous, as I have just finished a weeklong deep dive in very, very old press articles on (or at least mentioning) S and C, who clearly had a life before OL, thinking it would be nice to put some of my archive work skills to good service.

I think @outlanderskin was referring to C's New York Times article I reviewed and analyzed last summer, but I just found way better: a very long report in the Irish Independent's Sunday issue of July 11, 2004, focused on the next generation of Irish supermodels. Of which there could be only one, at that time: C, who dominates Roxanne Parker's 'Through Thick and Thin".

I am sorry, there is no link available to my knowledge, so we'll have to work with these very poor xerox scans:

I took the liberty of generously using my dreaded highlighter and, for the people who need to translate this post with Google, I am now taking my time to type what I find damn interesting in this almost twenty-year old article:

'If Ireland ever has a hope of having its own supermodel, then Caitriona Balfe is it. Sitting in the Pink Pony Café on Ludlow Street in New York, Caitriona swirls a wad of bread into her carrot and coriander soup while informing me that her musician boyfriend just brought her a breakfast-in-bed of cream eclairs and coffee a little over an hour ago. But that doesn't stop Caitriona from finishing her lunch and chasing it with a large cocoa-dusted cappuccino. Ebony-tressed and ivory-skinned, Caitriona clip-clops down the cobbled street after we leave the cafe, heading towards her apartment in Chinatown with Dave Mailone (sic!), the boyfriend, in tow.'

This reads, in 2024, like an interview with a more benevolent C clone from a totally different planet, indeed. A young, carefree, in love and hysterically funny C, who apparently had no problem heavily dishing out happy tidbits of her private life to her home country's press. A C also very much reminiscing anyone with a brain of the 2013-2018 bantering C, as this quote shows:

Again, you'll have to indulge me retyping it, Anon (tedious, I know - but helpful). She is remembering her real breakthrough, in November 2002, at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, in New York:

That was the most I've ever been paid for a show. I've got 18,000 euros for one day's work! They made me get a spray tan before the show, and I was still the whitest and the least well-endowed girl in the entire show! So what did she have to wear on the big day? `Not a whole lot! I think I described my outfit on the day as something Wilma Flintstone would wear on her honeymoon night. There wasn't a whole lot to it and it had bits of fur hanging off it.'

And, for good measure, we even have a (admittedly, awful) picture with the season's fiancé, with whom things did not end well:

I know, it looks like a Pravda pic, circa 1957 and I am honestly sorry. But it's still very clear. And, which is more important, very eloquent.

Anon and reader, you draw your own conclusions on this. I know where I stand. The only guy C has similar pics taken with and released in the press or on social media is the peasant some love to bash every single day in here. Their problem, not mine.

Yes, of course Mordor will yell and hiss. Of course they will throw rotten tomatoes at the blunt knife and scream THIS IS OLD. But hey, do you have any better than this poor (but oh, so endearingly authentic) picture or than any given S&C pic before the fucking EFH and IFH, when she gradually started to turn into today's Reclusive, Restrained and Rarefied Greta Garbo wannabe?

Oh, and please: don't give me the 'he's shy' or the paperwork crap again. Her public persona has drastically changed, and not for the better. It's plain to see and there are reasons for this.

Who's to blame? This question is so wrong, in so many ways.

The question should be 'what's to blame?'

I'll stop here, Anon and I hope it was somewhat useful. Thank you for dropping by.

[marshallpupfan]

Work in Progress

Slowly but surely, my Marshall collection is starting to take shape. Admittedly, I couldn't work on it much last night, as I'm often away from home every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, thus I don't always have a lot of time to work on this. That, and I tend to procrastinate (aka, get lazy and waste time) a lot. But hey, I'm getting there!

Today, I started working on how I wanted to sort out all of these types of plush dolls. There are a bunch of them, with a new one typically releasing every new subseries or film. Well... only the ones that can stand on their legs; the "floppy leg" ones I'm pretty sure they stopped producing years ago.

I have fourteen of the standing dolls and thirteen of the floppy ones. I want to keep them together without dividing them up, so I tend to line them up in rows. In the past, I used to place DVD cases or small cardboard boxes behind one row for the second row to stand up on, but that didn't always look so great. Thus, I started saving scrap wood (usually stuff we were going to throw away anyway) to build proper shelves.

I have a bunch of these long, thin boards from a bed frame we had to throw away. They're pretty handy for projects like this, so I suppose I got lucky there! For the floppy dolls, I made the shelf 4 inches tall, and for the standing dolls, I made two 2 and a half inch tall shelves. The wood here is kind of thin, so attaching them to each other can be a little tricky. I wasn't sure exactly what to do, so I just used hot glue.

...Well, that was after I realized I goofed and only cut two sets of legs when I actually needed three. Nothing unusual with me. 😅

It's not the greatest solution, but it's still quite sturdy. As long as I'm careful, they shouldn't come apart or anything. Besides, they'll only have lightweight dolls on them, so this will work just fine.

Hey, not bad! I wish I could get scrap wood that matches the color of the bookshelf, but they'll mostly be covered anyway, so it's no biggie. Now I just have to sort and find spots for each doll. Naturally, I like to put my bigger favorites up front, such as Ultimate Fire Rescue, Rescue Knights, 2018 Mighty Pups, etc.

Works pretty good! Now I just have to... wait, there's a blank spot there at the top left. What am I going to put there? OH, I know!

BOOMER! BOOMER! BOOMER! Ha ha... I couldn't resist. 😁

The shelf for the floppy dolls went about the same. I only had to make a smaller one for them, as having their legs hang over the front and back works better here.

And there we go! I might rearrange some of the dolls later, since some stand taller than others, but for now, I'm calling it done. Well, just this part anyway.

For now, I'm calling the plush doll proportion of this task complete! Crazy to think one character has this many dolls, huh? And to think, there are so many more out there... many of which I still hope to own someday. If only I could get some of the ones from Japan... but then again, where would I put them if I did get them? Uh... let me get back with you on that one. lol

Well, I guess it's time I start working on the big display case soon. That'll probably take a long time, since I plan to dust everything that'll go on there... including all those tiny figurines, too. Again, I've got my work cut out for me here. 😅

(I'm not sure why I made this post, other than I just thought it would be fun to chat about what I'm doing as I go along. I might make more as I progress, but we'll see.)

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

You mentioned competition being one of the primary reasons for JK & Tae fans hating/resenting Jimin, and I think you're on to something there.

Jimin was not supposed to be popular. He was supposed to be cute, a good dancer(but not as good as Hobie) and the one who can't sing or write his own music, but tries and oh, isn't that a sweet little Jominie?

Sexy and handsome,? That's Tae's thing. A musical powerhouse? That's the Golden One. Why can't Jimin just remain in his role as BTS #1 cheerleader?

It drives these fans bat-sh*t crazy. The natural order has been abandoned. Their fave has been disrespected. All because Jimin--and the people inwexplixably drawn to him--don't know their place.

Imagine posh spice suddenly doing cartwheels and sporty spice's whole identity and thing that made her "unique" in the group, is not so unique anymore.

This happens in every group, tho. Kpop or not, that characterization is a must when groups are being formed. All members are supposed to have that one thing that makes them different from the rest, and that it will cater to certain people. Even one direction members had a certain moniker that made them "special" within the group. You mentioned some of those things with BTS, and it's true. They might be real traits of the members, but they actually choose what to put forward so other people would remember them by that.

The truth is Jimin never really did that lol 😆 he never really tried to push certain hobbie as his whole identity, or talked about himself in limiting ways. Even with dance, he's always been excellent at it and was doing the hardest parts of BTS choreographies since the beginning, but it wasn't until like 2018 that he actually started talking about dancing in a way that you could tell it meant something really important to him. He didn't even have other members talk that talk for him, the way Hoseok did. All the members, year after year, would talk about Hoseok's dance this or that, but they never mentioned Jimin. Armys didn't even know Jimin is a main dancer too 💀

A lot of them are solo fans of other members, point blank. They might type a little seven and pretend they're not, but they are.

I've talked about this before, but there's always going to be competition when someone else is able to do the same thing you do. Jimin sings and dances. Jungkook sings and dances. Taehyung, well... he sings I guess. All three are maknae line. There's a lot of clashing interests and a lot of space for competition because their areas and "identities" overlap so much. Same with some Jin akgaes that have gotten to drag Jimin over vocals in the past few years; because both sing. If Jin was a dancer, I bet you they would fight about that too.

That's why nobody is fighting over Jimin being a better rapper than Hoseok. No, they argue about fashion and dance -things both of them have in common.

Now, it's 2024 and Jimin sings, dances, writes, produces and composes his own music. He coreographs his own coreographies, he's topped major charts. Everything, literally everything that was expected of, or that armys swore only rapline or other maknae line member could do. Armys will still talk about Yoongi as if he was the only producer in the group like Jimin isn't there, only because it's easier, it's repetitive, it's the story they've been telling for a decade.

As I've said not too long ago (but can't find the post): armys have always been uncomfortable when Jimin showed them they were wrong about him.

"X member is going to have a huge fashion career" - Jimin has objectively had the best deals with fashion so far.

"X member is the most popular in US" - Jimin doing just as good or even better than said member.

Everyone expecting Jungkook and Taehyung to release full albums of 309483 songs written by them - not only none of them did that, but Jimin did it.

This fandom doesn't like their ideas being challenged, and all Jimin has been doing is exactly that. Making them see something that they weren't aware existed, or didn't want to acknowledge. It's even worse because Jimin doing the same things other members do, makes those members seem less special than armys or solos thought they were.

It's also one of the reasons why Jimin was basically pushed out of the makane line by the fandom, as I've mentioned here:

They didn't want more competition for the ones the fandom wrongly thought were supposed to be the "biggest" soloists of the group (taekook). It was all about "wait for taekook's debuts" blah blah blah. Notice how hyung line stans (even those who are allegedly ot7 army) get upset about Jimin being more successful than hyung line, but they don't get upset when taekook do better?

I think one time that it really dawned on me how willingly oblivious armys were, was when this ad was released. I remember tweeting something about why was Jungkook considered the most athletic member in BTS when he has never done stuff like that. That looks athletic to me, at least. Jimin has been doing these flips for a decade and no army has ever pointed it out, have they? It's like "oh Jimin doing another flip, cool". Or worse, not even acknowledging it. If another member, especially Hoseok or Jungkook or Yoongi, had spent a decade doing this, you bet that army would be doing compilations about it every single day. It really made me wonder why has Jimin never been in the center of "the athletic ones in BTS", when he so obviously has always been good.

[thiniceofeternalyouth]

MISLEADIN' ME SERIES: CHAPTER FOUR

VOIDRUNNERS

⊳ Gojo Satoru x f!reader

series masterlist

Genre: angst, fluff, sci-fi, cosmology.

Chapter warning&tags : ooc, mentions of blood and wounds, profanity, mentions of alcohol and smoking

Words count: ~11.5k

⊲ previous next ⊳

[29 Dec, 2018; 12:01am; hunter's headquarters].

"I've never met anyone so insolent in my life," Gakuganji shifted his gaze from Mei-Mei, who was in no hurry to get up from the table to the sorcerer, who was hastily pulling on a gray jumper ignoring her flirtations. Except the higher-up wasn't referring to either of them.

Gojo didn't care about the old fool's lamentations, and he cared even less about Mei-Mei's mocking taunts. He felt he had to catch up with Shoko, who had long since made her way up to the second floor. Brushing aside the girl's flirtations, he traversed the stairs in two leaps and saw Shoko already turning the handle of one of the doors. "Shoko, wait!"

She didn't have time to slam the door right in his face, but she did manage pinch his fingers with it. Shoko heard a low whimper from the other side, and swung the door open. "You're disgusting," she told him instead of greeting him. "Both of you."

Trying to maintain his usual demeanor, Gojo did his best to brush it off. "Oh, come on. Just wanted to have a little fun, what's wrong with that?"

Taking off her medical gown and tossing it on the dresser, Shoko turned toward him and noticed that he was clutching his already damaged fingers a little too nervously for a careless man. "What's wrong with that? These people have provided us with safe shelter and food while we try to find ways to create protective barriers around the schools without Tengen's involvement, and the first thing you do is fucking on their table," with each word spoken, shame pressed down on his shoulders causing them to slump ever lower. "Actually, I thought you two stopped 'comforting' each other a long time ago."

"There's been a lot going on lately," Gojo shrugged serenely keeping the indifferent but still familiar smile on his face, which disappeared as soon as he remembered what he'd just done. "What should I do?" he said quietly, barely moving his lips.

Hitherto looking at herself in the mirror and trying to wipe away the scattered mascara under her eyes, Shoko instantly turned in his direction, barely hearing the unfamiliar tone in his voice. "Are you in love or something?"

His reaction was so instantaneous that it was instantly clear as day. "W-what?" he perked up directing at her the most puzzled glance possible. "Don't be absurd! I've just never met someone, uh, someone so strong before."

"Uh-huh," Shoko said rolling her eyes. Not wanting to waste another second of time sacrificing precious sleep, she started pulling off her clothes. "First of all, you should at least apologize to her. Second, get out of my room."

To his disgruntled muttering, Shoko finally pushed him out of the room. "Yeah, by the way. I didn't ask your permission to examine Geto's body this time. He was my friend too. So no one will touch him now," she hissed slamming the door in his face.

"Well, I was going to cremate him anyway. After everything that happened," he thought to himself, but in the back of his mind he realized he had earned Ieiri's wrath.

He found himself in an empty, dark hallway, still clenching his aching fingers and shifting nervously from foot to foot. He should have apologized right now if only to just get the weight off his chest. So he thought.

As slowly as possible, Gojo made his way through the kitchen, which was empty, and straight into the hallway. He slowed down and picked up speed again mentally berating himself for his indecisiveness. Amidst the tangle of his own thoughts, he didn't realize how he'd ended up in front of the workroom door. What should he do? Knock? Or just walk in unceremoniously? What if you're already asleep?

Gojo stood like that for a moment longer, and it occurred to him that he really ought to have some decorum in someone else's house. He brought his hand to the door and tapped the metal surface with the knuckle of his index finger. "Come in," it was clearly not your voice.

Opening the door, Gojo's gaze fell on the man's broad back. Someone was going through the mess on your desk. After standing like that for a bit longer, Gojo realized the guy wasn't going to pay attention to him. "Hey. Where's Y/N? I thought I'd find her here."

The young man finally turned around and popped his head up giving him a sharp look of the green eyes that showed from beneath the black strands. "Just left."

The information he had just received made him furrow his eyebrows unhappily and bite the inside of his cheeks in worry. "I mean, she literally just got back, where did she go?"

A bright short flash suddenly illuminated the surroundings and sneaked violet rays through the workroom window causing the objects in it to cast shadows that darted about in a momentary frantic dance. When everything was back to normal, Kyle headed toward the door shoving Gojo with his shoulder along the way. "To the raid."

This information gave him a little less than nothing. Gojo realized that pestering a man who was unfriendly to him with countless questions was pointless, but at least he was entitled to one question. "When is she coming back?"

Already climbing the metal stairs, Kyle simply brushed him off. "Not earlier than in three days."

[31 Dec, 2018; 06:33pm; hunter headquarters]

After the exile of the curse king and a gray man like Kenjiaku the curses seemed to lie low as if they had lost all their courage. No one questioned whether this was true or not because with or without their existence, the life of the sorcerers continued, though in a drastic change of course. That was why now the students of the once Tokyo magical college were comfortably seated in front of the TV in the living room: some sat on the corners of the spacious couch, some sat on the floor having scattered countless cushions. Yuta who was caught in the embrace of Frank's right arm, who kept his gaze fixed on the TV show, shrank into a lump, and looking at the Frank's imposing figure was afraid to move. 

After only a few short episodes, Itadori's patience broke baring endless interest. "Frank," Itadori sitting on the floor, popped his head up at the gray-haired man. "What do hunters do after all? From the name, I can figure they hunt, but what exactly do they do?"

Frank hummed not taking his eyes off the TV. "When this whole thing first started, hunters had almost exactly the same thing going on as ya all do. Just as ya seek out and exile curses, they sought out and destroyed the dioreacts. With only one correction - some hunters, who were later appointed superior because of this, had the ability to 'bind' a certain hunter to a certain dioreact. Therefore, hunter would follow in its footsteps, and when he was in close proximity, he couldn't realize where the thing was sitting. As if somewhere in the looking glass. They had to sit and wait, sometimes for months, for it to show up. That's how it was destroyed. Except...," Frank had to release Yuta from his embrace to scratch the back of his head as he held a bottle of beer in his other hand. "I don't know how exactly it happened, but at one point it dawned on hunters that they weren't destroying dioreacts because they started encountering other dioreacts, and they looked completely different -  different height, gender, hair color, body type, but something inside told hunters that they had killed this thing before. And just like that, it turned out that hunters were only destroying their bodies, not themselves, which only provoked further fusions," Frank paused for a moment remembering. "Just when things were getting desperate, road to the judges opened up."

Finally turning toward Frank, Itadori folded his arms on the couch and rested his chin on them. "Judges?"

Frank only laughed rubbing the boy on the top of his head. "Don't even ask, kid. We don't know much about them ourselves. They're sort of judges of the creation, but hell knows what our minds paint. Dunno. The only thing we knew for sure was that they helped us get rid of dioreacts with ends. All we had to do was take them to judges, and that's where the question came in. How do ya get a creature that's many times tougher than ya to wear themselves out so that you just can grab them by scruff and take them to judges?

"How?" asked Yuta already regretting having reminded Frank of his existence again.

"Black orchid extract. It doesn't act on dioreacts like holy water does on evil things, of course. If ya spill it on them, they won't sizzle. But if ya cut their flesh with a weapon infused with extract, it causes them great pain. Or if ya inject them with a syringe they get paralyzed, but that's too wasteful of a dosage considering how long and tedious it takes to get it.  

"What about dark energy?" asked Itadori examining his hand as if trying on how it would 'look' on him.

All Frank could do was shake his head negatively. "It used to be that the conductivity of hunters' bodies for dark energy was severely limited. There were exceptions to the rules, but no matter how much dark energy the hunters had in them, no matter how sophisticated their spells were, only the bodies that used dioreacts were destroyed."

Everyone's heads came up because there was an indistinct stomping sound from upstairs as if someone were walking unevenly or trying to dance unskillfully. As soon as the stomping died down, Frank took a couple sips from the bottle. "I was an old generation hunter," the living room seemed to fill with the sound of creaking heads turning toward him who directed skeptical, bewildered looks at him. Frank snorted indignantly. "What? I can't to get fat in retirement?" he looked around at everyone present; some of them hid their faces reddened with embarrassment while others continued to stare at him just as incredulously. "Never mind. All in all, as an old generation hunter, I can say that there is no trust in judges. After all, they're going through your memories trying to find some irregularities on a certain dioreact, and the catch is that they were finding hunters' own irregularities as well. Except no one gave us a goddamn list of rulebooks. The only thing that was comforting was that judges never interfered in anything themselves personally, apparently they always busy, so... so hunters went to judges themselves shaking and wondering if they'd come back. A lot of them never came back. Although the tradition with judges still exists, next generation came along, though.

The clumsy stomping that had come from upstairs earlier was heard on the stairs. Rachel, flushed from head to toe, was coming down to the kitchen humming songs as she went. Her red and perpetually curly unruly hair looked much more disheveled, and her unfocused gaze shone like a mirror. Finally making her way downstairs and into the living room, she stopped abruptly and staggered back as if perplexed that there was anyone else in the house but her. After a couple seconds of staring, she greeted everyone with a drunken nod, and turned sharply toward the refrigerator.

All the while, sitting in a cushioned armchair apart from everyone else and trying unusually hard not to draw attention to himself, Gojo watched the drunken Rachel, and his tongue was faster than his thoughts as usual. "Does this new generation of yours do anything? It looks like they're just getting by."

"Says man who can't even wash mug after himself in someone else's house," muttered Kyle who sat in the very corner of the couch and kept his eyes on the screen of his phone shifting his gaze from the news feed to the time.

Propping his head up with a hand, Gojo directed a squinting gaze at Kyle. "Huh? You wanna go outside and talk about it-"

Rachel, who had already managed to find a bottle of wine in the fridge, leaned on the couch and poked her head between Frank and Yuta, her face seemed to have resentment mixed with intoxication. "Actually, we do! Voidrunners. First we go in, then we run, run, run, hic~," she covered her mouth with her palm, her face going pale for a moment. "Then we run some more, then we fight, and if we're lucky we find people, take them out, BUT!" she dramatically raised her hand with her index finger raised. "There are two rules," she shifted her gaze to her index finger, followed immediately by raising her middle finger as well. "That's better. There are two rules! Never break the raid cycle and always carry a watch with ya in the void," noticing Frank's preternaturally reproachful look, Rachel hurriedly removed herself. "Dad, this is the last time, I swear," whereupon she headed drunkenly with a bottle of wine in her hand up the second floor back to her room.

"What was that?" asked Itadori waving away the smell of booze. "Kyle, what was she talking about?"

"Less one knows, better one sleeps," Kyle said without looking away from his phone screen.

"Kyle!" almost everyone in the room exclaimed synchronously. Everyone except Gojo, who was trying too hard to pretend he didn't care, but was praying inwardly that Kyle would be bribed by the voices of his students. He needed to know where you were and what was happening to you.

The green-eyed hunter flipped his phone away irritably and stared at the television not knowing who to stare at, running a hand carelessly through his hair. "What exactly do ya wanna know?"

Still sitting on the floor, Itadori moved closer to him. "What is void?"

"Place that the dioreacts created. It seems we have kinda wrong sun for them and the wind that is too warm, who knows. Because they are in albeit reshaped, but still human bodies, they needed similar 'earthly' settings, but in void there is nothing but heavy dark sand, cold rarefied air, black sky that seems to fall on your head or seems unusually distant. There isn't even a sun, there's some alternate heat source that gives the emptiness a purple glow. It seems the only thing they haven't screwed up is gravity. Still, the universe used very fine tuning to create the Earth, which the dioreacts can't replicate."

Gojo squeezed the arm of his chair in an inexplicable anxiety. So that's what that flash was. You went into the void.

"And the raids... So the raids are conducted there?" a shocked Yuta inquired quietly.

"Yeah," Kyle nodded his head idly as if he was in prostration. "We learned how to get in there freely a few years ago, but getting out isn't so easy - we have to look for rifts left by the dioreacts themselves. After we organized raids. We calculated the average statistical value of how long a hunter can last without food and water under stress. It turned out to be three days for each of us. So we went in, found ourselves in a random place and ran. We can't stop there, or we'll go crazy. If we can't run, we walk. If we can't walk, we crawl. About the rules... One voidrunner must enter the void before another hunter comes out, otherwise everything will be turned upside down, changed places. That didn't seem like such an aggravating factor to us before until we found out that the void wasn't really that empty. We just went in and wiped out the dioreacts that got in the way because the void gave them a vulnerable spot, right here," Kyle tapped the pad of his finger against the center of his collarbones. "It's not easy to do, but it's doable, no black orchids or judges needed. Except that on another raid one of us suddenly discovered a settlement, and it was populated not only by dioreacts, but humans as well. To put it more accurately, slaves. That's why it became important for us to keep order in the void and that's why the raid cycle can't be broken, one of us must be there. If the cycle is broken for even a second, we will lose sight of this settlement. Even if a voidrunner is badly wounded, they is only allowed to leave after his three days are up."

There was silence in the living room. Itadori looked like he didn't want to deal with dark energy and all that it entailed. Yuta looked at Kyle with undisguised respect.

"You mean you're getting people out of there? Can't they come out through rifts on their own?" asked Yuta.

Kyle shook his head slowly, the colored frames of the show reflecting lightly on the skin of his face. "As it turns out, they can't. Even if you take out the sentries, they just can't even get close to the rift, blown to ash. We can take them out with us conducting our dark energy through them, but to maintain a steady flow we have to sacrifice the number of people to keep them from being torn to shreds. So the so-called "evacuation" takes a very long time. That's what we do there. We look for a settlement, take people out, watch the dioreacts, who's doing what, who's at the posts, what time those posts change, we memorize everything and after we take people out, we do the roundups. Well, after everything is cleaned up, we can let everyone come out of the void and have a little vacation before the new race. We were just about out of it by the way, when Y/N started raiding again a couple days ago.

Itadori blinked and popped his head up frowning his eyebrows. "Rachel said something else about the watch!"

Kyle unlocked his phone screen and glanced at the time again. "I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but there is no time in void. Void and our place are causally unrelated. So if ya wanna go home, be nice enough to always carry a watch with ya, that is 'time'. If it suddenly stops or ya lose it, ya'll never get home no matter how fast you run to the rift. As Y/N said, while you're running to the rift, here it's likely the universe has time to go all the way from the big bang to the big crunch. I think if we could take one peek into the void from our world right now, everything would be frozen to us, even the grains of sand that the wind has lifted into the air. So the only sensible thing you can do is look for a settlement and hope that one day the voidrunners will come there and bring time with them," Kyle exhaled convulsively rubbing his fingers together nervously. "I'm telling it like it is now, but how many lives it took while we got it all laid out."

Itadori kept glancing at Kyle not daring to ask any more questions. Yuta was already sitting more relaxed; it was nice to be around people you knew something about, but just as he was getting used to the excessive tactility of the inhabitants of the house, Frank released him from his right arm and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna go pack up the kids, and yeah, it's time to head back to Hopetown." Frank glanced at his watch, and realizing you should be back soon started packing in a hurry. "Don't wanna get in the hot seat. Keep an eye on everyone here," he gently ruffled Kyle's hair and headed out into the hallway.

The time of your three-day raid was inevitably coming to an end. You should have been home in about five hours. Unless you lost your watch or it broke, or someone broke it on purpose. You had to be back. Kyle wasn't the only one watching the time nervously now; blue eyes were checking the time on his phone now and then, intermittently flicking them up to the television, but only to glance to the face of the clock that hung above it. 

[1 Jan, 2019; 12:17am; hunter headquarters; training field]   

Your blurred vision began to focus, your surroundings began to gradually take shape, and your hearing finally caught the familiar sound of the crunching of the fragile thin layer of snow beneath your heavy boots. The cold winter wind was enveloping you here, but compared to the cold of the void even this embrace seemed unaccustomedly warm. Unconsciously, you unscrewed the two round respirators from your mask, which made a satisfying, quiet click as it turned. Your lungs were still burning with icy fire, and you methodically took deep breaths in and out. As you tried to warm your insides, you finally spotted a silhouette in the darkness of the training field, each exhalation drawing in a cloud of vapor.

"Well," Kyle exhaled grinning and sniffing his red nose. "Happy New Year."

You grinned back rubbing your chapped palms trying desperately to keep them warm. He slipped the warm jacket over your shoulders, and you made your way down from the training ground to the lower level of the cliff heading toward the entrance of the house. You cast a glance back over your shoulder. "Vito managed to get in on time, didn't he?"

"He got in by before twelve at night, don't worry," Kyle assured you softly.

Walking through the shroud of snow that was falling in prickly flakes straight onto your face, you had already entered the house soon and found yourself on the basement floor, right by the door to the workroom. "Got a present," he cast a cheerful but tired look of his green eyes at you. "Megumi's awake."

You didn't even notice how your eyes widened with delight, and you were tempted to say something, but all you did was open and close your mouth.

"That was the good news," Kyle said, and his voice grew a half tone darker. "The bad news is that we've been contacted by higher-ups for a couple hours, calling ya on the carpet."

The elation was replaced by a sense of irritation and annoyance. "What, right now?"

"They've made it clear they don't intend to wait," Kyle said with a shrug.

You knew there was no point in taking your own frustration out on the man in front of you, so you only exhaled trying to catch your breath. "I'll just take a shower, change my clothes, and go over to Megumi's. Ya go to bed."

"Ya know I can come with you, right?" said Kyle with hope in his voice trying to catch your gaze.

You shook your head slowly, carefully avoiding his eyes. "Ya can't. Good night," without waiting for his reply, you walked into the workroom slamming the door in his face.

***

The pleasant feeling of clean, fresh clothes on a clean body. You would have spent a little more time picking out a sweatshirt made up of softer fabric, but the message Kyle had told you made you hide your desires in a distant drawer.

You walked up the metal staircase a little too slowly as if you were deliberately stretching time. Once you were in the hallway, the dim light coming from the kitchen caught your eye. Perhaps Megumi's awakening had excite some of the inhabitants of the house making them forget their sleep.

Peeking out from around the corner, you saw a familiar white mop of hair. Your chest felt the unnaturalness of the moment. Shouldn't he be at Megumi's right now? Throwing another glance at him, you saw him once again check the time on his phone. "Hey."

He flinched and cocked his head as if he wasn't used to being approached discreetly. "Hey," carefully hiding the concern in his eyes, he assessed your condition. The moment his gaze tried to catch yours, he noticed you looking perplexedly at the table. Apparently, you noticed that the carefully left years of indelible drink marks and small chips from contact with the utensils had disappeared. "I bought a new table."

You bit your lip trying not to laugh. "Do ya always have such drastic methods?"

He just nodded, not sure what else to say. You didn't look hurt, or upset, or angry. It was as if you didn't care. Since when did he care about the indifference of someone he barely knew?

"First of all, you should at least apologize to her."

It was a lot easier for him to exile a dozen curses than it was to squeeze out a word of apology. Was it worth it if you didn't care?

However, sometimes your behavior caused him inner dissonance obscuring and confusing his muddled thoughts with unknown outlines of hope. "Why ya sitting here alone?" you asked with concern in your voice. "I thought I'd find ya at Megumi's since he's awake."

So you were looking for him? Most likely you just didn't put it the right way. "Well, first he was surrounded by my students, then your students, and then all of them together. After that, he was left alone with... Danielle. I think that's her name. There wasn't much time for me."

You didn't pry into his soul asking why he didn't just join the others. You had an alternative. You walked past him to the door of the infirmary. Stopping beside it, you took another glance at the sorcerer stepping from foot to foot. "Do ya wanna go see him now with me?"

He rose from his chair and headed in your direction shortening the distance between you with each step. "Yeah."

Suddenly you got a sharp blow to the head. A low hiss escaped your lips; grabbing your forehead and rubbing the sore spot, you glanced at the spot where the blow had come from and realized that someone had opened the infirmary door abruptly. Two identical heads showed themselves. "Y/N?" the twins shrieked your name in panic.

"Yeah, it's me," you said with a warning tone in every word. "Ya both," taking turns pulling the twins out from behind the door, you wrapped your arms around their shoulders. "Why are ya up at this hour?" your cooing voice didn't bode well.

One of the twins nodded toward the open door and muttered in a conspiratorial tone. "There's SO MUCH going on in there!"

You barely fought the urge to roll your eyes and turned to Gojo. "Okay, okay. These are my students. This is Axel," you pinched one of the dark-haired boys hard on the ear to which he grumbled unhappily. "This is Ryan," you pinched the other one as well. Еhe second boy looked like a dark copy of the first - his eyebrow adorned with a small oblique scar, and he was covered in piercings and tattoos which you had already managed to heap reproach on him for having gotten them without adult knowledge and in an obscure underground. "Axel, Ryan, this is Gojo Satoru."

One of the twins turned his head slightly toward the other. "Do ya think the hair color is real?"

"Yeah the hair color is real, but the eyes," Ryan spoke in a whisper as if Gojo wasn't literally standing in front of him. "Definitely contact lenses."

You let out an involuntary gasp of indignation. Grabbing both of them by the scruff of their necks, you gently nudged them towards the stairs leading to the second floor then turned back to Gojo. "I'm sorry; they can be very tactless sometimes."

"I don't even know from whom did they take such a behavior," Gojo laughed motioning in your direction. "You called my higher-up a fossil as I recall," the smile instantly vanished from his face when he noticed the slightly reddened skin on your forehead. He tried to reach out a hand intending to inspect the site of the blow, but immediately yanked it away. "Are you okay?" 

"I've had worse," you grinned softly looking him in the eye. After a couple of seconds when you realized your eye contact had lingered, you perked up and headed for the infirmary. "Let's go." 

***

Standing outside Megumi's infirmary room, you peered cautiously through the open doorway. The sight before you made you bite your lip to keep from grinning like a lunatic. Now you could see what the twins were talking about. The whole room was littered with different bouquets, scattered wrappers, and a pile of brightly colored cards on the table. Probably if it wasn't for Megumi's diet, there would have been pizza boxes. At the head of all this beauty, Megumi, whose skin was finally starting to get some color, was lying on the couch, and Danielle was sitting beside him pulling a chair closer to the bed. They were talking quietly about something, and every time Danielle's lips moved, the boy's face would turn a faint shade of pink or he would awkwardly fiddled with his fingers. From the outside it was noticeable how much of his newfound energy he was spending not looking in her direction.

You raised your head to look back at the tall and equally peering silhouette. "How would ya feel about disturbing their idyll?" receiving Gojo's affirmative nod, you entered the chamber, and moving two chairs closer to the couch, you unceremoniously sat down on one of them. Gojo sat down next to you. "Look at ya, two lovebirds."

Danielle averted her confused gaze pretending to look at the damn interesting view out the window. Megumi, on the other hand, was staring right at you. The corners of his lips trembled, and he bestowed you with a fleeting smile. "Hey, Y/N."

Gojo furrowed his brows, folded his arms across his chest and pouted his lips childishly. "You'd kill me for that."

The two of them needed to talk. Just talk. Even if it didn't solve anything, even if they didn't dare to say something important to each other, but now there was something more important - tomorrow would inevitably come for them again and again from now on, each time giving them a chance to make things right. Their only task was not to squander all the opportunities they had been given.

That's why you brought Gojo here - just to leave them alone. You glanced at Danielle and after waiting for her to finally look at you, you pointed toward the door with a slight nod. You rose from your seats at the same time causing the sorcerer, who was under the intense gaze of dark blue eyes, to throw his head up in panic. "Traitor!" he only managed to shout back at you.

Despite Gojo's typical demeanor - nonchalant and even a little light-hearted - Megumi sensing the growing tension assumed a sitting position and tucked his legs under him as if trying to shrink in size.

"I wasn't actually going to eat you, you're not as sweet as you think you are," with that phrase Gojo intended to light the mood a bit, but only seemed to alienate Megumi more. Gojo had to wipe the nonchalance from his face for a second. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Megumi said peering at the creases in the white sheets. He'd never been known for being talkative, but the cold tone of his voice sent shivers down the back of the Gojo's neck. The next question made his heart sink. "You weren't going to save me, were you?"

He was, but how could he explain to the kid opposite him that things hadn't gone the way Gojo wanted them to? He couldn't squeeze out an explanation that he would probably have the strength to destroy the curse, but only at the cost of Megumi's life. The words stuck a sharp bone in his throat. "Look, it's not that easy-"

"Were you going to or not?" persisted Megumi interrupted him. The boy had no desire to hear excuses.

Gojo involuntarily clenched his fists so hard that veins showed on the backside of his palms. "No."

"Fair enough," Megumi said with a shrug. The stiffness subsided, kid's body seeming to relax. Expecting a decidedly different reaction, Gojo was confused.

It seemed all that they were needed now was to smooth out the sharp edges hurting themselves a couple times in the process, but slowly and methodically getting rid of them nonetheless. "I know I wasn't the best mentor. More than that, I've been the worst caregiver. Truth be told, there are some things you'll probably hate me even more after finding out about, but one way or another, if you and I never part ways, I'll... I'll try to be a better person." 

"Our ways will part? With you? You stick to everyone like chewed gum," the boy said, and for what seemed like the first time in the Gojo's memory, Megumi weakly smiled at him for the first time.

***

You've never really liked hospitals. A regular hospital and your infirmary weren't much different: the same rooms, beds, IVs, injections, beeping cardiomonitors, the smell of medicine and disinfectant solutions. But doc's was cozier. It smelled less like death.

As you sat with Danielle on the mobile couch in the hallway, you tried to restrain yourself from starting to tease her about matters of the heart. The blonde-haired girl got flustered then smiled shyly biting her lips, apparently remembering her quiet conversations with her new friend, occasionally giggling quietly to herself. Looking at her young unencumbered by experience face, your ribcage filled with affection. You had once long ago wanted to experience something like that. Now you hoped cowardly that she'd never ask you for love advice in the future because you didn't know what to do with it yourself.

As your gazes crossed again, a door slammed somewhere at the end of the infirmary corridor, and you heard heavy footsteps approaching. The hair on the back of your neck stirred, and you jumped up from your bunk at Danielle's understanding glance making a quick dash out of the infirmary. Except the hand that grabbed your shoulder was quicker. "Hold on, girl," if the doc's footsteps made you nervous, the tone of his icy voice made you feel truly terrified. "There's my next patient."

Overcome with stiffness, you slowly turned around and giggled nervously looking into his eyes. "Hey, doc," you tried to pull your shoulder back a little to shake off the heavy hand that was clinging with a dead grip. "Ya know, I got paged by the higher-ups, so-"

"They'll wait," without removing his hand from your shoulder, he led you to a vacant room. "Post-raid physicals are mandatory."

You glanced over your shoulder at Danielle, your eyes signaling for help. She shrugged and waved back with an unconcealed look of satisfaction on her face.

Doc released you from his grip only when you finally stepped into a vacant room, and he slammed the door behind you. Unlike your workroom, Doc's was always sterile. Medical flasks stood neatly in cabinets; new syringe needles packed and stacked in special containers, clean fresh linens on the bunk, not a speck of dust on the floor. You walked forward leading your hand over the clean smooth metal surfaces feeling your back being glared at. "Lie down on the bunk, take your top off."

"Pervert," you wrinkled your nose with feigned displeasure, but you walked to the bed and took off your sweatshirt and assumed a lying position. "Ya're not going to implant those things in me again, are ya?"

"It's a mandatory procedure," doc mouthed. Before you knew it, he was attaching devices less than five inches in diameter to your temples.

"Ouch!" you exclaimed with a sudden short burst of dull pain as he was already fastening the neurates near your heart, on your lower back and on your ankles with practiced deft movements. "That's hurt!"

"Don't exaggerate and stop squirming."

You froze. After only a couple of seconds, a growing discomfort began to appear where the neurates were attached. As they began to penetrate their sensors deeper and deeper under your skin, doc's screen showed more and more readings of your condition as he looked at it over square glasses. His dark skin shimmered a thick silver in the cold light of the fluorescent lights, contrasting beautifully with the doctor's white lab coat, his hands clutching your medical records.

You closed your eyes and concentrated on your breathing trying to chase away the dark thoughts of the upcoming conversation. You didn't want to listen to any lectures. You didn't want to feel anyone's concern, much less pity. Your only desire was to lie on the soft sheets for a while longer even if the sound of the broken flickering lamp irritated your hearing. 

The doctor tossed aside the medical records and grasped the edge of the table with his hands. "Your vitals are deteriorating exponentially. You're only hanging on by your regeneration. But pretty soon your body will be so depleted that it will stop helping, too."

You opened your eyes a little throwing a fleeting glance at the monitor screen. "I'm fine."

"Yeah? Maybe you sleep just as well?" turning around to face you so he could better see the lies oozing out of you, doc leaned back against the desk. "When was the last time you slept and how much?"

"Before the raid, a couple hours," not a single muscle on your face flinched without betraying your deception, only the doc had your vitals besides your words. He trusted it more.

"Your neural connections have begun to break down," he informed, expecting you to react in any way. You rose slowly assuming a sitting position gently kneading your shoulders. It was almost as if you didn't care. "Ya know, at best you're in danger of severe headaches, hallucinations, mental breakdowns, partial or total memory loss. At worst, death."

Fumbling for the devices in your temples, you began to rip out the neurates staining the bed with blood in the process. "Unfortunately, death wasn't part of my plans."

"Are ya crazy?" growled Doc grabbing a pack of band-aids off the shelf and sitting down next to you. "I should be doing this!"

"I know, I know. I just couldn't take it anymore," you grinned looking into his amber eyes as he focused on the band-aid on your temple.

You could see him bite the inside of his cheeks. Doc could pretend all he wanted to be a heartless man who was just doing his job. But doctors often had to sacrifice their feelings shoving them to the very depths of their souls just to keep from going insane. "I don't know how to help you anymore. My energy isn't regenerating you. My regeneration and replication spells aren't helping you. Sleeping pills, sedatives, neuroleptics. Even had your bone marrow taken for evaluation," you cringed remembering the pain of that huge needle in your pelvic bone, so neither local nor general anesthesia worked on you. "And I never came up with anything."

"Ethan, I already told ya," you shoved his shoulder softly. "I'm not gonna die in the next fifty years. I really want to live."

"Then you should sleep," Doc said, though he realized that was the worst advice, like telling a deeply depressed person "don't be sad." He felt worthless.

"You're a great doctor, ya know," you seemed to read his mind. "No one but ya would have messed with me for so long. One day we are gonna figure out these adrenaline rushes when I fall asleep, and then we'll go celebrate your status as the best doctor in the universe."

"Whatever you say," he said getting up from the couch. "But your job is to see me as often as you can. I have other patients to see. And you try to get some rest."

Quickly pulling your sweater back on, you straightened up sharply remembering something. "Doc!" you exclaimed as he was already holding onto the doorknob. "And how are the... how are the patients who are, ya know... pirates?" you inquired tapping lightly under your left eye.

"Almost restored. You know it takes the lion's share of time to replicate and restore sensory organs," and seeing your theatrical nod, he finally opened the door behind which the white-haired sorcerer had been standing for an unknown amount of time. After looking him over from head to toe, Doc forced him aside with his imposing figure. "However."

Gojo leaned against the doorway watching you change the band-aids on your temples, which were already flimsy, into new ones. Then he took a glance at the white sheet, which was stained with burgundy liquid. He lost his patience when you stuck the band-aid crookedly to your temple for the second time, apparently because you didn't have a mirror in front of you. He walked over to the metal table, and with a tearing sound opened a new one holding out his hand to you. "Let me?"

You nodded briefly and tilted your head a little sideways to give him more access. The warm skin of his fingertips made contact with yours through the thin material causing you to cough nervously. "Did ya two talk?"

"A little," he replied lightly brushing the strands away from your other temple and doing the same manipulation. "You hurt or something?" you felt like he asked it just for the sake of cleverly jumping off the subject. He felt like he was having his soul torn apart by worry.

"Nah," you said running your fingers over the evenly applied band-aids. "Thanks for help," you smiled, your eyes colored by an affectionate squint. After talking to Megumi, it was noticeable that it was as if one of the many weights had been lifted from his soul.

It seems he just wanted to take another weight off his chest. Right on your head. "You know, me and Mei-Mei, it's nothing like that. Just... Just helping each other out sometimes."

You hummed involuntarily, glancing in his direction with confusion. "Why ya making excuses?"

"Dunno," a mocking smirk escaped his lips. He was probably back to his usual lighthearted credo. "Just glad you didn't whine about it. Because at first glance you seemed, well..., " he gave you a glance of blue eyes that for once made you feel out of place. "A prude."

The last word he said made you furrow your brows in confusion. You didn't know why, but you tried to search your memory for the prison term given for killing a man. "Excuse me?"

He didn't answer right away. Pondered whether he should have bitten his tongue off right now or left himself the option of apologizing in the future. "Uh, I didn't mean it that way."

As hard as you could to hide your growing irritation, you exhaled. You exhaled and were about to leave the room because you wanted to get things done rather than listen to the insults. "Honestly, I'd talk some more," you grinned softly wrapping your arms around your waist for a moment. "But right now, I don't wanna waste time with someone who's going to make a hundred excuses instead of saying sorry," you waved him goodbye briefly, and maybe his words would have hurt you if only your head wasn't full of meetings with your higher-ups.

As you stepped along the stony road, which was already partially overgrown with grass, you quickened your step with each wide step you took wanting to get it all over with as soon as possible, the wind itself at your back. In the distance, among the darkness of the trees, you could see tall stone structures, the core of which served as lanterns.

The rustling of leaves was hushed, breathing quickened. On the horizon, you could see the doors already open creating a picture of false hospitality.

You walked into the room and stopped in front of a large table on a small platform. It's a great way to show everyone who comes in their place.

No one paid any attention to you. The man sitting in the center continued to fill out some paperwork. His long black hair was in a tight braid, and even the strands that had fallen out and fallen into his face seemed to be in place. Beneath his thin-rimmed glasses was a perpetually disgruntled squint of his eyes. At his right hand sat another man, with golden hair and a far too kindly look for such a place. The other three chairs were empty.

"Where are the other snakes?" you asked not wanting to wait to be looked at.

The black-haired man finally looked up at you with a hard stare. "Watch your mouth."

"But it worked, though. Ya're finally paying attention to me, Chris," you drawled tucking your hands behind your back.

"Stop twisting names," he tossed the pen away and leaned back in his chair. "Now I expect you not to play dumb and explain the presence of strangers in the house."

"Who told ya?" you gritted your teeth in a frighteningly aggressive way, but when you realized you were losing control, you put a friendly expression back on your face. "We're sheltering coworkers in a difficult situation; I don't see anything wrong with that. Don't tell me it still bothers ya that your great-great-great-  Long story short, that your distant relatives were wronged by a separate caste of sorcerers. That's so immature of ya."

The man grinned revealing a nasty grin. "You've decided to drag the others down with you? Isn't the mountain of corpses you're already standing on not enough?"

The veil of your eyes was abruptly blanketed by maddening lights. "The higher the mountain of corpses, the wider my view," you snapped at his arrogant expression. "But ya know, if you cause any of them to lose a hair, I'll rip your hearts out."

Christian leaned in your direction as if you were fighting for the title of most insane creature. "You've just given us a great idea because with our death at your hands we'll be only too happy to show everyone your true colors." 

A dagger unconsciously appeared in your hand, you were already barely aware of your actions. "Ya fucking scum-"

You were forced to come to your senses by the golden-haired man who slammed his palm sharply against the wooden table. "Enough!" the sound it made made you come to your senses and you quickly suppressed the flash of rage in your chest, a convulsive exhale escaping your lips. "Y/N, that's not why we called you here. We're not going to interfere with what's going on in your house."

"Then what do ya want?"

Christian tossed the folder carelessly on the edge of the table, closer to you. You didn't even bother to pick it up. "Inmates are going missing in the Abashiri prison colony. Maybe it's just a trick by the wardens, maybe not. Either way, check it out."

"Even if they are dioreacts, ya know we only destroy them in the void-"

"I don't care much about that," Christian interrupted in an indifferent tone. "If they are there, then you'll go to the judges with them."

"You're already making no secret of the fact that you want to get rid of me."

Christian snorted derisively gifting you with an uneasy feeling in your chest. "I've never really hidden it. I keep hoping that one day your mask won't save you."

God knows you endured as long as you could. But you couldn't take it. You couldn't take it, and you laughed. Wiping the tears from the corners of your eyes, you looked at the black-haired man once more. "Screw ya," you took a breath and straightened your back regaining your carefree look. "Alright, I'm gonna go to your prison. See ya around."

***

Long after you had passed through the doorframes and walked along the stony road, you made your way through the trees. For some time now, you'd been aware of footsteps somewhere behind you, which was tiring. Exhausted from the pursuit, you cast a glance over your shoulder, and saw a glimmer of familiar golden hair. "Nael, stop acting like a stalker and just tell me what's wrong already."

"Christian is an ungrateful idiot," said the voice following you in an apologetic tone. "But I must show my gratitude at least on my own behalf. We ran tests on that amulet you brought back from Cambodia. It does indeed deliver steady streams of energy. So all that's left is the safety tests and we'll send it to Frank in Hopetown to put it in repository. The electricity and your relics that guard the town will be fine."

"Nice," you drawled without slowing your step.

Seeing that you weren't going to stop, Nathaniel cocked his sharp chin in concern. "They're planning to get rid of you."

"I somehow thought it would be helpful If one of higher-ups would owe me," you mumbled in a monotone voice peering at the earth-filled foliage beneath your feet wrapping yourself more tightly in your jacket. "But now ya haven't said anything new."

Nathaniel covered the distance between you in two steps and blocked your path. "I'm serious. They're planning something. I can't say more at the moment, but I'll try to figure something out. Just be careful."

"As always," you said splaying your hands tiredly, and stepped around Nathaniel and hurried out of the place.

[4 Jan, 2019; 10:18pm; hunter headquarters]

The fresh, frosty air filled the workroom from the open window. Without remembering how you'd showered, you were already sitting in a chair with your head hiding on your arms. Droplets dripping from your hair and falling to the floor made a measured, quiet background noise. Every muscle ached, every bone aching, and you bit your lip in frustration glancing down at the bed you'd laid on twice that evening in an attempt to sleep.

No one knew you were home. Not a single living soul had met you. Instead of being disappointed by that, you exhaled a sigh of relief. You wanted to be alone for a while.

Still, you were heavy of heart. You took off your robe and clumsily pull on your clothes to go upstairs.

***

There were only three people sitting at the dining room table. Itadori was fiddling with the box of the board game trying to find the place where the rules were described. Shoko was drinking her second mug of coffee clearly not understanding how she'd gotten here. Gojo rested his chin on his hand and brought his face close to the doctor's and glared at her apparently forcing her to join them.

Their domestic bustle made you squint your eyes affectionately. "Are ya awake?" your ever-unfelt presence made all three of them pop their heads in your direction.

You still couldn't get used to Itadori's perpetually enthusiastic demeanor. So when he jumped up from his seat and rushed towards you clutching the box with both hands, you backed up a little. "Y/N! Where have you been?"

Quickly going through all the possible answers in your head, you pulled out the simplest and most succinct one. "Work," Gojo was clearly not satisfied with that answer. He'd been hanging around your workroom and kitchen for three days straight, or looking out the living room window ten times a day hoping to catch a glimpse of your silhouette walking into the cliff.

"Okay," chirped Itadori and lifted the game box higher resting his chin on it. "Would you like to play Monopoly with us?"

"I'm afraid if I sit down to play in this state, I'll go bankrupt after the first move," you said,pushing your chair back and sitting down on it. "But I'd love to watch."

You heard a very quiet sound, like distant and uncertain footsteps. You stirred glancing around, but they didn't seem to hear anything.

"Then you'll be rolling the dice," Shoko addressed you sipping coffee from her mug. "I don't trust that asshole."

"Hey!" Gojo's indignant exclamation made Shoko roll her eyes.

Itadori enthusiastically began laying out the board game then began counting out everyone's initial capital to the Gojo's grumbling that the pink-haired kid was cheating and had put more money in for himself than everyone else.

You heard again the faint sounds of inarticulate whispering; this time your hearing made it clear that there was a commotion outside the infirmary door.

"Okay, we need to decide who goes first," muttered Itadori looking at the lid of the box that had the rules written on it.

"What kind of stupid question is that? Me," Gojo said impatiently in his voice grabbing the dice.

Shoko instantly snatched the die from his hands. "First is the one who takes out the bigger number, so back off."

There was the sound of the same footsteps and muffled scraping on the metal door, and looking around at everyone sitting there and noticing that none of them were paying attention again, you thought you were starting to lose your mind.

You jumped up from your seat at the anxious stares and walked quickly to the door of the infirmary opening it with a jerk. The two faces before you caused you to fall into a second stupor, after which you exhaled in relief. "Ya know," you said leaning against the wall to make way for them. "All the footsteps in front of the door mean nothing if you never got in."

When there were two people in the room, there was the sound of a mug falling and immediately shattering, the jagged creak of a chair being pushed back, and someone's inarticulate stammering.

Itadori stood up from his chair and tried to take a step in their direction on trembling legs. "Nanamin?" he shifted the look of wet eyes from the blond man to the girl. "Nobara?"

Crossing her arms over her chest and looking away with a frown, Nobara didn't even think about making a move to meet him. "Have you buried me yet, dumbass?"

Overcoming the trembling in his legs, Itadori covered the distance between them in no time and enclosed them in an embrace, no longer hiding his tears. "Alive! You're alive!"

Confused by such an emotional greeting, Kento awkwardly patted the boy on the shoulder. "Decided to stick around for a while," Nanami shifted his gaze to the confused Gojo who couldn't understand why he hadn't sensed them. "Never mind," Kento said turning to him as if he'd read his mind. "Just a side effect of the treatment. It'll be back to normal soon."

Gojo immediately jumped from his seat, and under Shoko's same tired, but already widened by shock gaze, embraced all three of them, even though of the three only Itadori was happy about it.

At the sound of someone's voice calling you from the infirmary corridor, you took one last glimpse of the tender picture of the small reunion. You swallowed the indistinct lump of a long-known feeling and walked into the infirmary closing the door as quietly as you could. You didn't belong there.

***

Doc was walking toward you so fast that the oncoming air current made the white coat flutter. "Come on, let's go help calm Danielle down and get her out of here."

"What's the matter?" you asked perplexedly rushing towards him and the two of you headed towards one of the rooms.

"Oh yeah, you weren't there," Doc said looking at someone's medical records over square glasses. "Vito got out of the raid tonight on schedule. But he didn't come out quite whole."

"And how bad is it?"

"His condition is severe, but stable. He passed out as soon as he came out of the void, hasn't regained consciousness since."

Once outside one of the rooms, Doc opened the door with a jerk. Vito was there, neither dead nor alive, lying serenely on the couch. Every part of his body visible from beneath the bedspread was covered with deep cuts from which a thick green liquid flowed uncontrollably in small quantities staining the sheets. An oxygen mask covered the lower half of his face, and if it weren't for the cardiomonitor beeping nearby, you'd think he was really dead because his chest wasn't heaving. "Oh shit," you sounded so unemotional that anyone would get the impression that the toothpick had more feelings. 

Next to the motionless body in the chair sat a slumped Danielle, who had probably already cried all her tears, leaving behind dried smudges under her eyes and an accompanying lifeless look.

Doc leaned toward you and said as quietly as possible. "Get her out of here. She's only in the way."

"Cold fish," you muttered quietly to yourself.

"Cheeky obstinate wench," Doc said adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"What?"

"What? I thought we were just exchanging all well-known facts," he whispered before turning around and walking away, leaving you alone.

You walked slowly around the bunk biting your lip. At first you wanted to grab a chair and sit next to her, but instead you turned the girl and the chair to face you and sat down on the floor. Danielle's head hung down like a rag doll. It was as if she wasn't even aware of your presence. Had she really been sitting here like this for almost twenty-four hours?

"Bun," you tapped your finger quietly on her leg. There was no response. "Look at me," you gently cupped your hands around her cheeks forcing her to look at you. She blinked slowly once then just as slowly blinked a second time. Her eyelashes fluttered uncontrollably, and she clutched her eyes shut with all her might and cried again sliding to the floor into your arms. "I know," you cradled her sobbing figure against you, and she nuzzled her nose into your neck. "Your father's made it out of worse than this," you grinned sadly realizing that you were such a poor comforter. "He'll come out of it. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, not in a week. But he'll wake up. When he does, it seems to me he'd like to see ya rested and happy, even if only a little."

"Take me through the isolation," Danielle pleaded in a sobbing voice pulling away from you. "I can't go on like this. I wanna go on the raid with ya."

"You can't, you're not ready yet," seeing that she wanted to interrupt you, you gently held your palm up letting her know you weren't done. "Besides, you're driven by revenge right now. Trust me, it won't lead to anything good. Don't rush things, let them take their course. You'll make fewer mistakes that way," Danielle nodded her head in defeat and snuggled into your shoulder again burrowing into your hair. "Let's go to bed, bun. Sleep on it. Now go ask doc for a sedative, okay?" she nodded weakly into your shoulder. Gently holding her by the waist, you set her on her feet.

Waiting for her to leave the room, you leaned against the doorway glancing at Vito. The cardiomonitor kept beeping, as if it were negotiating with God. "Ya'd better wake up," you said in a warning icy tone. "Don’t ya leave her behind," slamming the door behind you, you headed down the hallway after Danielle.

***

Once in the living room and standing in front of the stairs to the second floor, you said goodnight to Danielle and wiped away your tears one last time. Two pairs of eyes watched you, the owners of which were hesitant to interfere with your soft interactions. Gojo watched as you gently cupped Danielle's cheeks with your palms and, looking into her eyes, said something softly. The girl nodded quietly and staggered off to the second floor, while you stared at her. So you can be this gentle, too.

Hearing the quiet slamming of the door and making sure Danielle had gone into her room, Gojo drew your attention. "Something wrong?"

You perked up as if you hadn't noticed them before. "Nah," you said shrugging nonchalantly. "Has everyone else gone to bed already?" you shifted your gaze from Gojo to Shoko.

"He bugged everyone," Ieiri said pointing at Gojo and leaning back in her chair. She had an unlit cigarette between her lips.

You splayed your hand tiredly, pointing to the window. "At least open the window before ya smoke," Shoko nodded, and you wandered toward the basement door.

The Doctor glanced at the sorcerer, who was nervously crunching his knuckles and staring at the corridor you'd just disappeared into. "You look pathetic," she said clucking her tongue. "Just go."

He immediately took off from his seat. Quickly descending the stairs, he knocked on the door to the workroom, but only to enter unceremoniously. There was no one inside. He exhaled convulsively. Had you gone out again?

Gojo ran outside in what he was wearing - a thin gray sweatshirt, black sweatpants, and bare feet. The damp winter wind knocked his breath out for a second messing his white strands into wet ones. As he discerned your silhouette sitting on the bluff just ahead in the lowermost tier of the cliff that rested against the ribbed stone with his shoulder, he walked back into the house in a hurry, but only to slip his shoes on his feet and grab his jacket.

With the sound of restless waves and sea ice crashing against the rocks, he approached you from the back as softly as possible gently slipping his jacket over your shoulders, and sat down next to you. You could smell the odors of burnt wood, peppermint and something sweet mingling with the smell of winter.

Even though you hid it, the dark circles and bloodshot eyes gave you away. You were terribly tired, mentally and physically exhausted.

Gojo realized he'd caught you at the exact moment you didn't want a single living soul to see you. It made him uncomfortable, but he just couldn't go and leave you here alone in the dark and cold. When he saw your hand resting on the cliff, he slowly moved his own, inch by inch toward it.

He nudged you lightly with his shoulder. "Hey," he called out to you softly. "You're gonna get cold."

You grinned assuming a straight sitting position and glimpsing the jacket you were wearing. "I see ya've already moved your stuff in, too."

He nodded smiling awkwardly. If you'd even looked at him, you'd have seen that he looked a little flustered. It seemed to have gotten through to him that he didn't want to be another burden on your shoulders, and judging by how rarely you were home, you had too many of those without him. "I'm sorry," he breathed out surprised himself that it was easier than he thought. "I'm sorry for snapping at you in the morgue. For the incident with Mei-Mei. For insulting you in the infirmary. I'm sorry and... Thanks for everything. I just hope you can forgive me and we can be, well, um... friends" at this point your pinky fingers made contact. You didn't pull your hand away.

"Apologies accepted, but no thanks. Wrong tree," you said and glanced at him with a muffled giggle. His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to take off your mask and see you smiling.

"So much for modesty," he drawled and leaned closer to your face looking playfully into your eyes. "Wanna watch cartoons?"

You nodded cheerfully. "Lead the way."

Once you were in the house, you agreed to meet in the living room because you both needed a change of clothes, damp from the snow and wind. Standing in his room, having already changed his gray sweater for a black one, he stood in front of the mirror and tried to arrange his unruly hair somehow. After another attempt, he blushed at the realization of what he was doing and hurried down to the living room.

You were already sitting in the living room, pulling on your soft pajamas and tying your wet hair into a messy ponytail. Sitting here before you hadn't noticed how cozy your couch and how nice the warm light from the dim lamp were, or how warm the room could be. You hadn't noticed it in the same way you didn't notice now how someone's hands gently covering you with a blanket. You fell into a long-forgotten restless sleep.

***

You made your way through the laughing backs throwing apologies in your wake every now and then. There were too many people in the bar making the smells of tequila and coke and whiskey more stuffy and stale.

You traversed two steps, the sides of which were missing almost all the balusters, and found yourself in a more secluded deserted little hall. Despite the large sign with the crossed-out cigarette, the room was filled with curls of scattered tobacco smoke.

Tripping over another foot and apologizing, you glanced at the green shabby steering wheel on the wall; next to it hung a huge swordfish that pointed its long, straight nose straight at the bar. Behind the bar fidgeted a thin and angular bartender with a sullen expression; between mixing and pouring drinks for customers, he grimaced and frantically polished glasses.

You finally found yourself at the shabby wooden table where Vito was sitting staring at you innocently and taking a few sips of beer. You immediately snatched the bottle out of his hands indignantly. "Ya crazy?" you hissed sitting down on a flimsy wooden stool. "What did the doc tell? No fatty, fried, floury, salty, sweet, and especially no alcohol! Why ya even here?"

Vito laughed guilelessly not attempting to take the bottle back. "Just wanted to unwind," he gave you a soft look. "I don't think I've even noticed how you've grown from a little troublemaker to a huge nerd."

"Speaking of nerdy," you said getting up from the table and heading towards the bar. Once at it, the bartender threw a frown at you as he continued to rub his glass. "Water, please. And grape juice."

Without a word, the bartender pulled a bottle of water and a juice box from under the bar in one motion, and filled the glasses with ice pouring the drinks into them in a couple of seconds. "Thank ya," you said taking the cold glasses giving the bartender one last wink. "I see ya!" you said in a warning tone when you noticed him reaching for the beer bottle. "And here's your alcohol for the next six months," you placed the glass of water in front of his nose with a victorious look. He accompanied your figure with a sour expression.

"Life just got a lot more boring for some reason," Vito sighed theatrically taking a sip of water. He looked at you, then at your glass and grinned covering his lips with the back of his hand. "You remember when you were a kid at Christmas whining to Frank about giving you a wine glass?" he asked propping his head up with his hand. "You hopped grape juice out of it all day, and after drinking about three boxes you pretended to be dead drunk all evening?"

"Don't ya dare even start."

Taking another sip of water, he tried with all his might not to laugh, lest that water end up on your face. "And the next day you kept everyone awake all morning demanding that they give you a 'hair of the dog'," he laughed, and you brought the ice-cold glass of juice to your face trying to cool your burning face. After sitting like that for a couple minutes, you finally brought the glass to your lips, wanting to moisten your parched throat. Vito looked up at you. "You won't take off your mask even now?"

You ran your fingers lightly over the matter on your face, provoking it to pop in small stirrings. "It's kinda hologram, though. It doesn't interfere."

Vito nodded understandingly. "How's Danielle doing?"

"She's fine. Still can't get over the state you came out of the raid. She's worried and scared."

Only Vito opened his mouth to say something, but he was immediately interrupted by a woman's voice. "Bun?"

Your heartbeat instantly sped up, now and then getting out of rhythm. Your body stiffened. Turning your head with difficulty, your eyes widened in shock. "Mom?" you didn't recognize your own voice, weakened and hoarse. You coughed quickly getting up from your seat. "What ya doing here?"

Her arms hugged you tightly. "Vito told me you'd be here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't stay here for long. I have so much to do. But I really wanted to get one glimpse of what you've grown up to be," she whispered softly, kissing your face. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm okay, mom," you forced out words in a broken voice as she wiped your wet cheeks with her warm thumbs. "It's okay."

"We'll stay here a little longer next time. I promise," she said looking into your eyes. "I have to go, bun. I love you," she whispered giving you one last kiss on your forehead and hurried to the front door.

"I love you, too," you mouthed it watching as her silhouette disappeared behind the door.

You sat down slowly in your chair keeping your gaze fixed on the entrance. Vito was tactful enough not to say anything about your condition. It was the first time he'd ever seen tears rolling from your eyes, though. He awkwardly drained his water glass. "Y/N, I'm gonna go too. Gotta stick to the regimen or the doc will sew me to my bunk."

"Huh?" you popped your head up looking at him, but it was clear from the look in your eyes that you weren't here right now. "Yeah, sure. I'll see ya around."

As you tried to finish your glass of juice, the conversations began to die down. The smell of tequila began to fade, and there were fewer dirty jokes.

The bartender continued to rub glasses to a shine just as zealously, glaring at you with a frown when you were all alone in that bar at the corner.

next ⊳

[dailyshowchica]

Loki Cosplay, part 9/10

Okay, it's been over 3 weeks since my last post! And a very eventful 3 weeks, too. Last time on Loki Cosplay: https://www.tumblr.com/dailyshowchica/764319995011416064/loki-cosplay-part-8?source=share

The detail work was the part that came last, and there's a lot of it! Trimming the coat came to a stop while I worked on the armor, the chest strap, and the epaulets (that's what I'm calling the shoulder-extender flap things on Loki's coat).

First, the armor. I have never worked with EVA foam before. It's expensive, the characters I cosplay don't generally wear armor, and I'm much more comfortable working with fabric. But, Loki has a bit of armor: two arm braces, two hand braces, and a pauldron on his right shoulder. Now I lucked out and had bought a pattern a few years ago (Simplicity 8630). It had all the pieces I needed, though not exactly the right style. However, I approached the armor like I do any new recipe: follow the directions exactly the first time you make it. So that's what I did. Cut out the foam pieces, making sure to label and mark them

I used hot glue because I didn't have contact cement, which cosplayers on YouTube use. I still have one more thing to make, so I might get some. But the hot glue worked perfectly well, as long as I was generous with it.

I did end up needing to buy a heat gun. Hair dryers to not get hot enough to activate the foam, and it really has to be shaped. I bought it rolled up, and it really wants to STAY that way, unless you can give it another shape to follow. That said, I tried to work with the curve already in the foam.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to match thee film version, so I went ahead and added some details I thought looked good.

Then I had to seal the foam so it wouldn't just soak up paint like a sponge. I also had to seal the gaps with caulking. That was a step I had completely forgotten, and led to an 8AM trip to the hardware store. Caulking was cheaper than the coffee I had wanted to get while I was out!

The problem with the caulking was that whoever had opened the box had gone a bit too deep with the box cutter. Instead of being able to squeeze the sealant out of the nozzle, I wound up scooping it out of the slice in the tube and applying it with my fingers. The end result isn't pretty.

Once sealed and patched, such as it was, it was time to paint.

The paint helps, but you can still see the places where I filled in the gaps. Oh well. We're not here to be perfect.

After painting comes weathering. I generally have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to this. I just watered down some black acrylic paint, and tried to think of where grime would accumulate over time.

There is a visible difference, if only because the shine of the gold paint is toned down. I think it looks a bit more believable now.

Once the weathering was done, I set the armor aside to work on the chest strap. This was probably the oddest part. A plain black belt would probably have worked, but I had something in my stash that had been waiting to find a purpose.

Back in 2018, a chain department store called Younkers went bankrupt. Then entire chain, mind you, so in addition to selling all of the merchandise, the stores were also selling what they called "fixtures," like clothing racks, counters, and the bizarre decor the put around stores for, I don't know, ambiance or something. Anyhow, never one to miss a deal, I bought the above jar and... harness thing for $5. I use the jar to hold a huge decorative candle, but I had no idea what to do with the harness. Until now.

I cut the harness apart and began piecing together the length I would need. The strap goes through the pauldron and stretches around the body from right shoulder to left hip. Parts of the harness can buckle together, but parts also have to be sewn together. They also need to be painted black. I had Angelus leather preparer and black leather paint from my Crowley cosplay, so I was ready to go.

Strap painted, I then buckled and stitched the pieces together to make a loop, then placed the strap on thee pauldron so I could cut an opening. I only cut thee top part of the pauldron, and the the loop continue between the upper and lower pieces.

And then, after the opening was cut, I needed to seal the armor again, to keep the paint from chipping, and the newly exposed foam from absorbing... stuff, I don't know. But it felt important, so I gave everything a coat of matte finish ModPodge. I also hot-glued the upper and lower pieces of the pauldron together. No pictures of that, I was on a roll with the crafting/making.

Next up, the epaulets. After asking my mom, who can make ANYTHING, I decided to use leftover sheets of craft foam as the structure. The pattern I just drew from looking at movie stills and behind-the-scenes photos for reference.

The foam sheet itself wasn't quite long enough, but duct tape fixed that. Then, I covered the foam with some black snakeskin-patterned fabric, again left over from my Crowley cosplay. The edges were trimmed with more faux-leather vinyl scraps, and getting all the little bits to look right and connect was a huge pain. I'm not 100% pleased with thee look, but for something I just made up, it's not half bad. Placement wasn't too hard, but it was a lot of layers to try and pin. The epaulets were stitched in place with black thread, by hand.

One of the trickier pieces was the sleeves. Loki's sleeve are a complex design of crisscrossing strips of fabric. So I got out my green and black scraps and laid them out on the floor, copying the look of the sleeves. As I went, I kept a sleeve pattern from the coat next to me. I used that patteren piece to see if I had enough scraps laid out to allow me to cut out the full sleeve. Once I did, I sewed the strips together.

Once it was trimmed, I attached strips of snap tape to the shoulders and wrist, so it would attach to the under-tunic. Then I attached snaps along the edges where, under normal circumstances, the sleeve would be sewn closed.

Finally, boot covers. I'd had the pattern mocked up for awhile, and I THOUGHT I'd bough enough buttons. But, come crunch time, I only had enough for one boot cover! And Joann's didn't have enough in store to finish the job. So, I went with some smaller buttons on the instep and as the "fasteners." I used my mock-up as a partial lining, so I could sew the buttons on securely, and so I could attach the snap tape that would hold the covers closed, and not have visible stitching on the fake leather. The "tongues" of the boot covers are more craft foam sheets covered with the snakeprint fabric.

The lining was partial because I didn't want to lose the cut-out detail at the very edge of the instep. You can't really see it, but I know it's there.

And then, it was just a matter of completing the MILES of edge stitching to get the gold trim all over the coat. That was the part I started first, and finished last. But, on October 30, I was done!

I've made a few adjustments since then. I ironed non-woven fusible interfacing to the inside of the sleeves. That way they will act more like a single piece of fabric, and not the monstrosity of scraps that they are. I've also bound the upper edges, where there were unfinished edges on the flannel. I don't want those to unravel. Snap tape reapplied, and it's all done!

I still need to try and style the wig I got, though I also have black temporary hair color spray if I just can't pull that off. And I need to work on the makeup so I look a little bit paler, and more masc if I can manage it.

But there is only 1 more installment on this Cosplay Journey! Thanks for coming along with me so far, and stay tuned for the results!

[motionpicturedemise]

myth's game writeup of 2023

i waited until the new year to finish this in case i managed to beat a game during december. i did not. ANYWAY.

this will contain new games as well as games i only got around to in 2023. light on spoilers but be warned

Octopath Traveler II (2023)

as far as i remember, this was the first new game I played this year, and god did it deliver. I've been a fan of octopath since the first one came out on switch in 2018, counting it as my favorite game of all time, so to have a sequel after all this time was thrilling. it did almost everything octopath 1 did and better. new path actions, day/night system, branching stories, fucking boats?? incredible.

my biggest gripe has to be the new hidden classes. I started with throne so getting inventor 10 minutes after my chapter one did definitely fuck up the progression a little bit. I think I preferred ot1 hidden classes. while the dungeons were underwhelming, the boss battles really make you fight for these secret techniques, something absent in 3 out of the 4 hidden classes of octopath 2.

overall: 4/5 BP.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed (2023)

xenoblade 3 as the end of the klaus trilogy really didn't sit well with me, for reasons that don't belong on my review of its dlc, but future redeemed fixed nearly every problem i had with base xc3 — both story and gameplay wise. it ties every xenoblade game and even some of gears and saga into a neat little 40 hour bow, and is truly a love letter to the entire series. I can only think of one problem I still have with it. the fucking menu music.

where do i even fucking start with this one really. relatively speaking, I'm a new xenoblade fan, having started xc1 in march 2022 during a harrowing experience with adhd meds, and since then it had kinda consumed me. I finished it in about a week, went on to watch xenoblade 2 because I had heard the gameplay wasn't great, and got my hands on xenoblade 3 day of release.

overall: 5 dance apples.

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (2023)

as someone who was not immune to the hype surrounding botw, I had high hopes for the sequel. hopes that were painfully, slowly, fed into a trash compactor over my playthrough. this is another game I got on release day, lining up outside gamestop in the heat, and lets not forget that it's the only first-party switch game with a price tag of seventy bucks.

the game plays like a tech demo. I have a lot of love in my heart for it. the story was better that botw, the world was more expansive than botw, but the problem here is that everything it does is directly compared to breath of the wild. it doesn't get enough time to shine, because we're in the exact same world as 6 years ago, but instead of pinkish black malice we have blackish pink gloom. i much prefer the runes to the zonai abilities, and the sense of wonder that permeated breath of the wild is replaced by a sense of nostalgia that just doesn't appeal to me much.

all of this isn't to say it's a bad game. I think it's a great game, honestly, but a great game that wasn't meant for me. I've seen the insane shit people do with ultrahand, but it just... isn't my style.

overall: 441/1000 korok seeds

Pikmin 4 (2023)

it's pikmin. i dont have much to say about it. it was a lot of fun, loved that part where i bulborbed all over those guys. im not a gameplay reviewer, at heart i mostly talk about story, and a game like pikmin doesn't have much for me to comment on. good fun. lived up to expectations. probably wouldn't replay.

overall: 7500 sparklium

Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood (2017)

oh, stormblood... the rage you still fill my veins with. I'm not going to spend too long on this one because I have better things to do with my life than shit on an expansion everyone already hates, but let me make it clear I actually do have reasons for disliking it.

having ala mhigo built up since the very start of a realm reborn, only to have half of the ala mhigo expansion take place halfway across the star, was very disappointing. the monotony of the three areas in gyr abania compared to the three far east areas was very disappointing. the treatment of the people of the steppe and honestly that entire segment in the main story quest was very disappointing. hien, as a character, in his entirety, was very disappointing.

I will say it had strong parts. the 61-70 quests for several jobs were the strongest in their entire story (see: dark knight). the dungeons started to get more interesting. it gave us the quest Child Labor, which is hilarious and I'll never be finishing it because I want it there forever.

overall: 1/3 WHM Lillies.

Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers (2019)

ffxiv immediately got better the second 4.0 was over. even the patch quests instantly shot up in quality. it's not even funny. the lead up to shadowbringers was the most fun I had had with the game since a realm reborn, and all of the first was heartbreaking to go through even though I was spoiled on That Character's Identity.

the duty trust system (is that what it was called?) made dungeons much more fun. getting to go through hell with alphinaud alisaie and thancred made everything 10x better, even if it was a lot slower. the story, again, heartbreaking — ryne's arc in particular felt like being stabbed by thousands of little needles while trying to play. in the best way, of course. and amaurot... amaurot. getting to quote our favorite knight in there was my 8th umbral calamity.

shadowbringers also marks when a lot of your job's functionality is really unlocked, so doing the level 80 raid series was genuinely a ton of fun. and again the thousands of little needles. i cried at least 7 times during the main story.

overall: 85/100 kenki gauge.

Katana Zero (2019)

possibly my favorite game this year. the protagonist, zero (or as i like to call him, katana from zero,) ticked all the boxes for a character I'd be absolutely obsessed with. true enough, i fell in love. the fast-paced gameplay, the diegesis of gameplay elements which would typically go unquestioned, and the care that seeps through every dialogue choice all solidify katana zero as one of my favorite game experiences ever. I'll leave it at this, because I encourage everyone to at least give it a try.

overall: Yes, that should work.

Fire Emblem Engage (2023)

this is one of the few 2023 releases on this list that I didn't get on launch, because at the time I had relatively little interest in fire emblem as a series. then I made a lot of friends who enjoy it, and in october, bestie sen decided to buy it for me as an early birthday present. everyone say thank you sen.

considering this is my first fire emblem game, i have absolutely no deeper insight into how it matches up compared to the others, and plenty of people more eloquent than me have already talked about that. what I do know is that the gameplay was surprisingly fun as my first tactical rpg, and the story was passable. all the characters were appealing in one way or another, and I'm still mad I had to choose between marrying kagetsu or fogado. they're both my husbands at heart.

overall: I didn't internalize enough of this game to come up with a clever rating.

Fire Emblem Engage: Fell Xenologue (2023)

I was expecting the dlc to continue the main story, so I put it off until I had finished the base game. in hindsight, I regret it, because I'd love to have brought the winds and twins with me to fight their evil versions and alternate universe dad. the story was... alright. I really liked all the small battle interactions between fell characters and our party members which they would've known. I instantly recognized fogado in chapter 1 because I am in love with him by the way.

overall: i dont know. 1¾ dragonstones

with 2024 upon us, I'll probably be writing reviews for games as I play them. I'm trying to use tumblr more as a social platform instead of just reblogging. we'll see how that plays out. if you like any of these games (yes, even tears of the kingdom) please talk to me about them! that's all for now. look out for my mangled thoughts on SANABI and Nier: Automata next :)

[tr1ck5]

(Part II of II) I do like how, in more recent years, more people are coming to Rinoa's defense, and more people are looking at her more positively. I think it really started when she became playable in Opera Omnia and Dissidia NT (both in 2018), because she's a Game Breaker in both games (and she's actually a Game Breaker in FF8 if you know how to use Angel Wing properly), and when she didn't reunite with Squall in Dissidia NT, so many people were pissed. So many people still want them to reunite in Kingdom Hearts. And almost every YouTube video I've watched of Opera Omnia where Squinoa interacted and were cute with each other, pretty much all of the comments have been positive AF

I admit, I myself wasn't the biggest fan of Rinoa or Squinoa when I first played FF8 20 years ago, even though I did use her in the active party as much as possible and tried to make Squinoa's optional interactions positive. I wouldn't say I was an anti back then, but I just didn't care for her nor their relationship. But now, after revisiting and replaying it 20 years later, Rinoa and Squinoa have grown on me. I can't really explain how my views changed; maybe it's just me maturing in the last 2 decades and understanding Rinoa's characterization and backstory and Squinoa's relationship, as well as having access to some of the few officially-translated Ultimanias, a lot better now than I did when I was 12 🤷🏻‍♀️

Certainly, for a lot of things in life, what you thought or believed in when you were 12 is gonna be way different when you're 32 👀

Sorry for the split Asks, it ended up becoming so long that I had to send 2 Asks 🤪

Oh I also absolutely agree that there is more, WAY more to Rinoa's character than being made to be saved all the time. But there IS a bit of that though, especially in the beginning... and that's completely reasonable to me considering she is essentially a civilian; she wasn't brought up in a military way and hasn't had the training that the others have had! And what I love is that it is something that she notices and brings up to the group herself: Rinoa: "I guess...I'm just scared. Sometimes...when I'm with all of you...I... feel like we're on the same wavelength......you know? But when the battles start happening, it's different. Everyone's tempo seems to pick up and... ...I get left behind. I try to catch up, but it's no use... How far is everyone going? I can't hear anyone... Once I catch up, I wonder... Is everyone safe? Will they welcome me with open arms? ......Is everyone ok? Will we all make it back together? When I start thinking like that..."

But she eventually makes up for it, because she is resourceful and smart and stubborn! And that is something I like to bring up in my own fanfic (warning: total headcanon territory); Squall himself sometimes forgets she hasn't had the same training they all did. She's a quick learner!

I also agree that by the time the game ends, with everything that's happened between them, yeah, the Seifer crush is definitely dead. What I like to think though is that Rinoa still hurts over the good memories she's had with him; grieves over the Seifer she knew pre-war crimes lol. There's a beautiful bittersweetness to it that I think is worth exploring a little, at least.

I think the 'don't interact, block and move on' strategy is always the way to go for much of online discourse. And I don't mean that when talking about stuff like politics, economy or philosophy etc; debating can and does have its place (when done in good faith of course) but there's... nothing to debate when it comes to personal tastes. No one's gonna convince you to like guacamole if you don't and you're not going to convince someone who loves it to suddenly hate it. That's how I see fandom preferences. Life is too short. Eat or don't eat the guac. Love or don't love the Rinoa. It's aight. It doesn't matter lol!

I think we definitely all collectively aged up and matured for sure! I do remember that back then people seemed more critical of Rinoa's character in general; maybe it was because we were teenagers ourselves back then? And now as adults we're more forgiving of what we couldn't realize back then was 'typical teenager behaviors'?? Haha I'm armchair-theorizing around, here. 😛

Add to that the fact that a lot of stuff like character growth and themes in FFVIII is subtle af. You kind of have to dig through a lot of optional dialogues and read between the lines on a lot of things to really 'get' the whole picture. I know 10 year-old me definitely did not have that attention span back then haha!

[princesscolumbia]

It's time to spin the wheels!

So a few weeks ago a post floated into my awareness for #AU roulette 2024, and here's me working on becoming more well known and widespread as a writer, so I thought, "Why not?"

Well, I just got my assignments, and they are as follows:

Ghost/Cryptid Hunters

Western

Coffee Shop

Because you can't just pick your favorite of all your babies, I decided to randomize it a bit and found a dual-wheel spinner:

As of this moment (now...no, now. Now!) I haven't spun them yet, but I will be doing so in a moment...as soon as I set myself a couple more rules:

No Ranma/Ghost hunter, I'm already doing that for one of my current WIPs (Double Isekai) and that just wouldn't be sporting

No pairing up The Locked Tome with Coffee Shop. There's already a canonical, in-story Coffee Shop AU (and if you don't believe me you haven't read Harrow the Ninth)

No Star Trek/Western. Since the original Trek series did this to the point where Enterprise and Lower Decks followed suit and Next Gen did a holodeck episode of it, it just doesn't seem like a challenge if I did this. (As hawt as Troi-as-Durango is, to much of a gimme)

So, with no further ado, let's spin!

MLP: FiM - Coffee Shop

Divine Beans - Donut Joe is getting on in years and expanded his offerings from his beloved donuts to include coffee, and in the years since he's catered to many, many customers...but none quite so unusual as the two that showed up on the twentieth anniversary of Princess Twilight's coronation.

She-ra (2018) - Western

Big Enough - Adora's retiring. After nearly a decade of hunting down rogues and outlaws, she did one too many jobs that made her feel dirtier than a pair of riding boots at the end of a long ride. She finds a small town that's not likely to have ever heard of her and moves out to live out the rest of her days...but doesn't expect one of the most notorious gang leaders she'd ever faced to be in the same little town.

MLP: EqG - Ghost/Cryptid Hunters

In Plain Sight - Sunset is the producer of the show 'Un/Known,' where the hosts seek to prove or disprove the existence of ghosts and cryptids. The hosts are the ever sensible Applejack, known for her down-to-earth attitude, skepticism of the supernatural, and methodical approach to their investigations and the wildcard Rainbow Dash, ever ready to charge right in and ready to believe in even the wildest supernatural stories. Behind the scenes, Rarity does their make-up and wardrobe. Fluttershy is the animal wrangler, often discovering that a 'haunting' was just a poor critter that wandered where it didn't belong. On both the technical advisory side and the in-field editor angle is Twilight Sparkle, also known to their fans as "SciTwi," who brings a level of lore knowledge and research that boggles even the most die-hard believers in their audience. Pinkie Pie is...there. Nobody's quite sure what she does or how she follows them from shoot to shoot, but she's not on the payroll and apparently is completely oblivious to the fact that she's on a show, she just insists on "hanging out with her friends." To everyone's frustration, she's not a cryptid.

What none of the rest know is that Sunset is a cryptid. An alien to this universe, to be specific. She's been able to keep this a secret for years now...but there's a report of a new cryptid appearing in the form of a tall, willowy woman (with "Big Mom energy" according to a local witness) in exactly the small, suburban town she first arrived on this world in, and worse, she suspects she knows exactly who the new 'cryptid' is.

Well there you have it, three AUs, all ideas I had not before receiving the email.

Rules of participation say I only need to post one, but my personal stretch goal will be all three.

Oh, and keep an eye out for a surprise in each of these.

...what, you didn't really think I wasn't gonna sneak something into this, did you? 😉

[blaacknoir]

Okay I would absolutely love an I ❤ Derry beaver hat 😭

Adrian Mellon, you were too good for this world, and I hope Webby and his cronies rot in hell.

Getting anxiety thinking about all the balloon waste that these films must have created 💔

The fact that Don is dressed like... just a regular guy here, instead of the caricature of a gay man he was in the novel is great actually, and it makes the scene in the novel that much better.

Bill just appeared on screen and all I can think of is this post 😭

"You said you needed another day and we're shooting this tonight!" "Yeah but that's like... 17 hours."

"People loved your book, but they hated the ending." "You said you liked the ending..." "I lied."

"I love you mommy." "What." "Myra."

Oh I really could have lived without Richie "throwing up" on me. 💔

I really like Richard as a stand-up comedian instead of a DJ. If they had to change the time period, that was a good move.

OH NO WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE GROWN-UP STAN A BAB??? :C💔

"How long has it been?" "27 years." NO IT WASN'T! THE CYCLE WAS SHORTER BECAUSE THEY STOPPED IT!

No, the scar faded. It only came back when they started to remember.

Get his ass, Beverly! GET HIS ASS!

(That being said, because of the names and the fact that they're both redheads, Adult!Beverly always looked like Beverly Crusher to me 😭)

Do you really expect me to believe this guy hasn't updated his hairstyle in 27 years. I mean, I know they probably didn't exactly let him choose how he wore it in Juniper Hill, but that he'd still be rocking a mullet in 2018?

Mike: *enthusiastic hug greeting* Bill: Uh.... do I know you..... (It's me, I'm Bill.)

God I love Adult!Eddie so much. I would kill and die for you, Eddie Kaspbrak.

"I ended up becoming a risk analyst." No you didn't you drive a limo.

I would like to nominate James McAvoy as Greatest Actor Of Our Time here. Because the range on this man is fucking insane.

While it's completely different than the novel, the fortune cookie scene and everyone scrambling to figure it out is kind of killing me :'( ❤

RIP the poor Chinese restaurant employee 😭💔

"Plus, I just remembered I grew up here like, two hours ago!"

NO NOT THE LITTLE GIRL ADRIAN GAVE HIS TOY TO :C

Okay well this is all I have the energy for tonight. Catch part 2 of part 2 tomorrow. 😔

[skeefy]

For me, Off was at its most popular during a time where I didn't even know what fandom was. When I was introduced to fandoms, my interests were not in areas that would easily bring the game to my attention. Around 2018-2019 I came across Off through Markiplier but some kind of disconnect happened somewhere. He didn't even make it out of Zone 0 before I just clicked out. It wasn't him personally, i couldve always found a different letsplayer, it was just the game. I added it to my watch later with the intent of getting back to it but I never did despite having to look at it every time I watched the other videos I placed there. Roughly two weeks ago I decided to clear out the clutter of my watch later and was presented with a choice. Watch Mark play Off or delete it. Given that I'm typing this message I think you know what choice I made. Off is an amazing game and I regret ignoring it for so long. Especially once I realized the quiet state of the fandom. The reason I say quiet not dead, the reason I wrote this whole thing actually is to express my thanks to you and the other active Off fans for holding down the fort so latecomers like myself can still enjoy what you've been enjoying all this time. Thank you, God bless

Hello dear, thank you for this message!

I was never interested in joining fandoms, but there were a few tiny exceptions, off being one.

In 2012-2013 I tried to join the fandom but it was very hard for me to express my interests plus some ppl called me a weirdo for liking Enoch, I tried to search other fans of him or of zone 3 and didn't find much (most was focused on batter or zacharie back then) so I thought "I will return here in the future when the game is thriving".

However I forgot about it so I ended up missing everything that happened when the fandom was at its prime ah ah ah!

Only 10 years later I decided I wanted to try participating in fandoms once again. Told myself I'd make things different in 2023 and so, I decided to share my off stuff to the internet!

Thank you for appreciating the game and the fandom, and for your interactions in it, which also contribute! I hope others see this because the fandom hasn't died thanks to many.

I am very happy you have enjoyed my stuff and others, and I am glad others as well as me have decided to share their work no matter how quiet the fandom may seem.

There are people out there writing fics, making art, making fan games, music and even animations so definitely not dead!

Thank you for taking the time to put your feelings and thoughts into words! I love reading what others are thinking and feeling <3

oh and to anyone reading this, don't be scared to reach other to other fans and talk or tell them how much you like their ideas and work. This year I've made so many wonderful and talented friends that I used to admire from far away and it's the best feeling in the world to have common interests that bring people closer

[blackroom93]

My Depeche Mode Experience, part 3 - I'm here now, I'm found

….it's been a while since I last wrote about live performances, so bear with me, I'll try my best.

The last time I saw Depeche Mode live was so long ago that…it kind of feels like it happened in a different lifetime. I wasn't even in my mid twenties back then. Spotify wasn't available in Romania (yet). Cluj seemed mostly an unknown thing to me. I was into bands that I'm kind of not into anymore. I wasn't wearing glasses. I was more positive towards their previous album, Spirit. 

So what has happened since then?

"Are you talking strictly about your relationship with Mode and their music? Or in general?"

The first part.

I soured on Spirit, but I still think it has enough bright spots to not see it as my least favourite album from them.

I got a Spotify account in 2018…and, while I can't for the life of me remember my 2018 Wrapped, I do remember them making every Wrapped from 2019 onwards.

I went to see Spirits in the Forest in cinema in the autumn of 2019.

I was happy for them when they got into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame in that odd year known as 2020. (I'm still not the biggest fan of that institution, but it's nice to hear that the band is appreciated)

I continued to listen to them a lot.

I made a really dumb joke involving Enjoy the Silence and a public transport strike in Bucharest in early 2022. A joke which prompted my dad to say "Oh, you're missing them, aren't you?".

I woke up one morning in late May 2022 to find out that Fletch had died. I was shocked…and over time, I started making peace with the idea that I might not see them live anymore.

But then…

The Universe decided to throw some positive stuff at me. In October 2022, Dave and Martin announced that they were working on a new album, titled Memento Mori, and that they were going on tour next year.

That tour was going to include Bucharest too.

I bought a ticket (tho not too in the front, those were a bit expensive), I watched the days go by, I enjoyed Memento Mori, I got home earlier at the beginning of June 2023 to watch a livestream of their set at Primavera in Barcelona….

And then I found myself on the hot afternoon of July 26th waiting to see the band live.

The opening group, Haelos, were pretty chill. I initially thought I couldn't hear their frontwoman loud enough, but I got over that pretty quickly…cause it wasn't like I couldn't hear her at all, I just wasn't hearing her loud enough at times.

"How were Mode live?"

Amazing as always.

My Cosmos Is Mine worked well as an atmosphere builder.

I'm still not thrilled with Wagging Tongue as a single choice, but it sounded good live, so who am I to complain about the song?

Walking In My Shoes had a singalong moment - one of the many during the night - and that was nice.

It was neat to hear people around me singing the words to It's No Good. (I still don't get the donkey visuals tho)

I loved hearing Sister of Night - one of my favourite deep cuts from Ultra - but a part of me will never forget the sight of Dave's butt facing the crowd.

I know I said that hearing the album version of In Your Room back in 2017 was the gods' gift towards the audience…but you know what? I liked the single mix too. I would never complain about hearing this amazing tune in concert….no matter the version.

Everything Counts was still great live.

It was nice to hear you live again after 10 years, Precious.

Speak to Me, one of my favourite songs from Memento Mori, got me in my feelings…and in my fears, given that the rain started…and came with two of the things I like the least…lightning and thunder.

Home was as magical as always….Soul With Me was amazing, too, in spite of the technical difficulties in the beginning.

Ghosts Again is already a classic and it felt like one live.

I'm still surprised I haven't got bored of I Feel You. I don't know what it is about this song and resisting overplay.

A Pain That I'm Used To started with technical difficulties - can't blame the band tho -  but it still managed to be fun? I guess I like the Jacques Lu Cont remix almost as much as the original…

World In My Eyes …was great, but bittersweet. I miss Fletch. I hope that he enjoyed the dedication…wherever he is now.

I didn't mind hearing Wrong again.

Stripped was wonderful as always.

Teenage me would be pleased to know DM played John the Revelator live.

Enjoy the Silence was a great choice for the last song before the encore…cause the people went nuts.

Waiting for the Night felt intimate and full of tranquility. Also nice screen projections, though I can't for the life of me tell you why I like them so much.

I guess I have matured a bit…given that hearing Just Can't Get Enough live again didn't send me into hysterics (like it almost did a decade ago). It just put a smile on my face. And made me dance a bit.

You know what? It really doesn't matter whether they end their gigs with Never Let Me Down Again or Personal Jesus. They were both legendary and putting them next to each other was brilliant.

Conclusion?

Man, it feels amusing to say that it rained at a Mode gig again…but I'm not going to complain too much: they were great, the audience was great, I love their music and I feel grateful to have seen them live multiple times.

[andiinaraethtash]

Ta-da! A Star Wars fanfic! Betcha didn't see that coming! And on May the Fourth, too!

Summary:

There has been a great disturbance. Ripples through the Force lead the Jedi to the planet Moraband, where the 501st, the 212th, and their Jedi go to find the source of the disturbance. A Sith planet, Moraband holds more danger than they know…

Notes:

SO! There is a very long story behind this fic. It is my very first Star Wars fanfic, and the first fic I wrote with the intention of publishing. I started it back in… gosh. 2018? Maybe late 2017. My point is that it's been a hot minute. But I wanted to post something for May the Fourth, and I've been chatting about this fic with my sister and some friends on Discord, and I'm finally confident enough to start publishing it! I'll try to alternate between publishing this and my other fanfic Can't Escape the Fallout, which is in an entirely different fandom, don't worry if you haven't seen it. But, well. My history of having a consistent upload schedule is spotty at best. That being said, I'll do my best. I will warn you, though: this chapter may be fairly light, but it gets heavy pretty quickly. If character death triggers you, this might not be the fic for you. With that, let's get on to the chapter!

Chapter 1

Moraband, Ahsoka decided, was now her least favorite planet, beating out Tatooine, which had held that place of honor since her first mission with Anakin. Tatooine, at least, wasn't actively trying to kill them. The sand had been only been kind of coarse, even if it did get everywhere. And the natives could at least be reasoned with. Well, most of them.

Moraband was a different story. Even from orbit, the reddish sand and craggy cliffs looked dangerous. Between what Master Kenobi had called k'lor'slugs and the wicked sandstorms that sprang up with no warning, Ahsoka was fairly certain Moraband would be actively trying to kill them. 

Oh, and the pervading Dark Side presence. Couldn't forget that. 

“C'mon, Snips, it isn't that bad,” Anakin joked weakly beside her on the LAATi, where he was leaning heavily on the strap hanging from the ceiling, his entire body rigid with tension. She glanced sideways at him, glaring slightly. He could feel the overwhelming Dark Side presence just as well as she could, if not better. He really wasn't fooling anybody. 

Behind them, Captain Rex shifted uneasily as the transport ship made its approach to Master Kenobi's temporary command base on the surface of the planet. “I don't like this, General. This whole planet feels… off. What exactly are we looking for here?”

Anakin sighed, staring ahead at the doors of the transport, waiting for them to open. “This planet used to be a stronghold for the Sith. A couple days ago… why are you asking?” Anakin finally turned to look at Rex, confusion evident on his face. “I sent you the briefing. You always read the briefings.”

Rex shifted again, this time in discomfort. His embarrassment was palpable in the Force. “In all honesty, sir, if the mission briefing says ‘Jedi artifact,’ ‘Force disturbance,’ or ‘Sith holo-whatsit,’ I tend to just focus on the needed personnel and equipment, and the location. I won't understand anything else.”

Ahsoka bit back a laugh, glanced at Anakin's blank expression, and bit back another. After a moment of incredulous silence, Anakin shook his head and returned his gaze to the door.

“Alright, well, a couple days ago, the Council- well, the entire Order, really- felt something shift in the Force. Given that that usually means something bad in our experience, the Council decided to send us to investigate one of the focal points of the disturbance. Which led us here. Obi-Wan and the 212th were already in the sector, and they sent us as backup. Seriously, did you just skim all of those briefings? How in the world have you survived this long?” His voice had shifted back to an incredulous tone, as he glanced back at the clone Captain.

“By following your lead, sir,” was Rex's immediate response. Anakin grumbled under his breath as the ship finally slowed to a stop, turning as the doors opened to let the troopers within disembark. 

Ahsoka hopped lightly to the ground, grimacing at the way the coarse sand shifted under her feet. The LAAT's engines kicked up a dust cloud, sending grit into her mouth and eyes. Anakin shot her a commiserating look as she spat out the offending sand before leading her and Rex both to the command tent.

Master Kenobi looked up from a holo table, which was displaying a map of the area. “Ah, Anakin, you're here. Good.”

“You sent for us, didn't you?” Anakin snarked at his former master as he strode toward the table to get a better look. “What're we looking at?”

Obi-Wan sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, his mouth pressed in a pensive line under his auburn beard. “Nothing good. Between the local wildlife and some barely functioning droids, there's a fair bit of resistance that will try to keep us from getting to the old temple.”

Ahsoka straightened in alarm. “Droids? Here? But we beat the Separatists here! How can there be droids?” She met Anakin's eyes, and he reached over their training bond to offer reassurance.

On the opposite side of the table, Commander Cody huffed slightly. His helmet hid his expression, but she could feel his amusement in the Force. “They're not clankers, Commander. At least, not Seppie clankers. They've been here too long.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “As near as we can tell, they're old guardians left by the Sith to protect their temple. They're old enough that most of them have broken down, but those of them that are still functioning are armed and dangerous.” He gave her a wry smile. “Don't worry, Ahsoka. Dooku won't be here for another few hours, which should give us enough time to find what we're looking for and get out.”

Behind Ahsoka, Rex coughed awkwardly. “Sir, what exactly are we looking for?”

Obi-Wan gave him a perplexed look. “A Sith holocron.” Turning to Anakin, he demanded, “Did you not give him the mission briefing?”

Anakin raised his hands defensively. “I did! Apparently he tends to skim over briefings that have to do with the Force.”

Obi-Wan shot Rex a disbelieving look over Ahsoka's shoulder and sighed. “Why am I not surprised?” He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ahsoka smirked. “So what's the plan, Master? We just run in, find the thing, and get out?”

“More or less.” Obi-Wan shrugged. “Now that we've narrowed down where the holocron is, I've got my men loading up. We'll take a small squad into the temple, find anything useful, and clear out, hopefully before the Separatists arrive. If not, I've ordered my men to create a perimeter around the temple while yours, Anakin, hold the blockade. They need to keep our exit strategy intact. Think they can do that this time?”

The last question was said playfully, causing Anakin to straighten. “Hey! That was as much your fault as mine!” His indignation, however, was undercut by his equally playful grin.

Ahsoka pursed her lips. “I dunno, Skyguy, you were the one in charge of that mission.”

He turned to her, opening his mouth to deliver what was no doubt a stunningly clever retort, but Cody cut in first.

“If we want to complete this mission before the Separatists arrive, we should move out now. Clock's already ticking, sir.”

Obi-Wan nodded and sighed, returning his attention to the map. “Of course, Cody. Ahsoka, would you fill Admiral Yularen in on the plan? I need to fill Anakin in on what we're going to do.” 

Ahsoka nodded and exited the tent. As she did, she heard Anakin mutter, “I don't know about this one, Master. I've got a bad feeling…”

________

The approach to the temple definitely could have been worse, Ahsoka decided. Most of the k'lor'slugs attacked one at a time, and they only encountered two droid patrols as they neared the temple.

Looking at it, Ahsoka could definitely tell it was a Sith creation. The imposing (and ridiculously excessive) stairs were mostly covered in rust-colored sand. The few spots that weren't were a dark grey, which didn't appear to be the result of sun bleaching, but rather, the original color. The entrance to the temple itself was a tall arch that, in Ahsoka's opinion, looked way too much like a mouth. Inside was dark, and surprisingly cold considering the blistering desert around it.

Obi-Wan was leading the small squad (Ahsoka hadn't heard their names) with Cody at his back, while she and Anakin brought up the rear. The only lights were the troopers’ headlamps and Obi-Wan's lightsaber, which he held over his head like a high-tech glow rod. As the group marched into the temple, they had to duck to avoid a series of fallen beams and hop over several headless statues. Tattered remains of banners fluttered eerily in the shadows above them. Ahsoka shuddered, but less because of the chill in the air and more because of the soft whispers that emanated from every shadow. Anakin glanced at her, noticing her unease.

“Probably the shades of long-dead Sith. They can't hurt us.” He whispered softly, but it was still startling in the otherwise near-perfect silence.

“Hopefully.” She muttered back. “This place gives me the creeps, though, and I don't think it's just the ghosts.”

One of the troopers huffed. “Sith. Everything they built was designed to scare the kriff out of you.”

Ahead of them, Obi-Wan stopped as he entered a large chamber. The rest of the squad filed out and flanked him, eyeing their surroundings warily. Ahsoka inhaled sharply as she entered, feeling that the Dark Side was… not stronger, but thicker, here, to the point that she could almost see it twisting in the air.

A pair of ruined staircases were on either side of the chamber, and a walkway circled above them in equal disrepair. Several collapsed doorways led out of the chamber, although she couldn't tell where they led. In the center of the room was an obelisk, the tip of which pulsed faintly with red energy. Looking at it, Ahsoka simultaneously wanted to either shudder, gag, or punch something and scream. As most of the clones muttered and shifted uneasily, Obi-Wan pursued his lips.

“Something wrong, Master?” Ahsoka asked as her Grandmaster stroked his beard and stared pensively at the tip of the obelisk.

“I'm not sure,” he replied slowly. “I'm fairly certain that the capstone on the obelisk is the holocron, but… it's not strong enough to have caused the disturbance we felt.”

Cody started. “Not strong enough? Sir, I can feel the energy from that thing, and I'm sure as kriff no Jedi.”

“No, Obi-Wan's right.” Anakin stepped forward. “That thing is powerful in close proximity, but the disturbance was powerful enough to give Master Yoda a migraine all the way in Coruscant. Maybe if it was more than one holocron activated, but just the one? No way.”

“Regardless, it's here. We can't just leave it for Dooku to steal, right, Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka asked, eyeing the obelisk with a calculating gaze. Maybe if I climb up to the walkway and jump….

“Correct, Ahsoka.” Obi-Wan kept his eyes on the holocron as he paced back and forth, obviously trying to come up with a way to safely get it down.

Cody sighed, also trying to come up with an idea. “I'm guessing using grapnels to pull it down is a bad idea.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said distractedly. “As is using the Force to bring it down.”

“Could we use the Force to topple the obelisk?” Ahsoka asked, looking back and forth between her Master and her Grandmaster.

Anakin shook his head. “Same problem. If we let the holocron hit the ground, it could break, and nothing good ever happens when a holocron breaks. Using the Force on a Sith holocron? It'll sense us using the Light Side and lash out. Sith protect their artifacts very carefully.”

Obi-Wan stroked his beard. “We could Force-lift someone up there to grab it.”

Anakin snorted. “Well, you're not Force-lifting me. Not that I don't trust you...” The comment earned him a mock glare from his former Master.

“You could lift me,” Ahsoka volunteered before this could devolve into an argument. “I'm the smallest, so you'll have the least problems.” Anakin and Obi-Wan glanced at each other and shrugged simultaneously.

“Better than any of your suggestions,” Obi-Wan drawled.

“Ha-ha.” Anakin huffed and beckoned his Padawan over to the base of the obelisk. Nervously, she followed him and braced herself for the unsettling sensation of being suspended in the air like a puppet.

She took a deep breath before nodding to Anakin, who reached out- both with his hand and with the Force- and lifted . Ahsoka squeaked involuntarily when her feet left the ground, making Anakin's focus falter ever so slightly. The disruption caused her to plummet about half a foot before he recovered and lifted her the remaining distance to the holocron. The moment she got close enough to see it, however, a jolt of fear ran through her.

“Snips? What's wrong?” Of course Anakin had felt her reaction. Between the strong bond between the two of them and his incredible sensitivity, there was no way he hadn't felt it. She really needed to work on her shielding.

“Um,” she gulped. “There's a teeny, tiny problem. By which I mean there's a giant crack in the holocron.”

“What?!” Obi-Wan and Anakin exclaimed simultaneously, their shock and fear palpable in the force for a split second before their mental shields slammed into place.

Ahsoka glanced down at them. Force, that's a long drop, she thought. “Yeah, this thing's split right down the middle. Think the disturbance did this?”

Below her, Obi-Wan tensed. “Possibly. If the holocron was one of the focal points, that much power could have damaged it. But that means that the energy-”

As he was talking, Ahsoka reached out to touch the holocron. The instant her fingers brushed the edge of the jagged crack, an explosion of Force energy lashed out at her. Sparks of pain ran up her arm through her body, lighting her nerves on fire, and she screamed. Her vision went black and she sank into unconsciousness, grateful to escape the pain.

When she woke up, she was lying partially in someone's lap. Beneath her she could feel fabric, which meant robes, so she was resting against either Obi-Wan or Anakin. She opened her eyes with a groan to see her Master kneeling in front of her. Which meant she was lying in Obi-Wan's lap like a child. That was embarrassing.

Beneath her, Obi-Wan's chest rumbled, and Ahsoka realized he was speaking. Focusing hard, she managed to make out what he was saying.

“...see, Anakin? She's waking up. She's going to be fine .” His tone was part amused, part exasperated, and part concerned, a combination he'd mastered in the two years she'd been Anakin's Padawan.

In front of her, she saw Anakin scowl. “She was just attacked by a Sith holocron. Forgive me if I'm a little worried!”

Well, she couldn't have that. As touching (and kind of amusing) as it was when he got worried, it quickly became suffocating because he wouldn't let her do anything on her own. Clearing her aching throat, she managed, “Quit worrying, Skyguy, I'm okay.” 

Anakin visibly winced at the sound of her voice. “You screamed yourself hoarse and passed out for almost half an hour. I'm allowed to worry! You're my Padawan, and my respons-”

“Your responsibility, I know. You say that every time I get hurt.” Ahsoka reminded him as she tried to sit up. Her body wasn't cooperating. She was exhausted, like she'd just done five hundred katas back to back.

“Easy, Commander. Rex and Kix'll both have my hide if you hurt yourself worse.” Cody reprimanded her from behind Anakin. She glared up at him, but with almost no heat, as he shifted his gaze to Obi-Wan. “Admiral Yularen just contacted me. Separatist fleet just entered the system. He's scrambled the fighters, but they arrived much sooner than we predicted. We need to get out of here, sir.”

Ahsoka finally managed to push herself to her feet, wobbling slightly as her sense of balance tried to right itself. “Wait, what about the holocron? Did we get it?”

Anakin shook his head as he reached out to steady her. “No point. After it attacked you, it just… died. Like it used up all its power in that one attack.”

“Which is worrying, but right now we've got bigger problems.” Obi-Wan stood up behind her, making a show of brushing the dust off of his robe. “My men should already be evacuating. We need to reach the landing zone now, or they'll have to retreat without us, and I don't know about you, but I've had enough of Moraband's hospitality.”

The end of his statement was punctuated by an explosion, causing the temple to shake and sending everyone inside reeling. Ahsoka closed her eyes and clung hard to her Master's arm, trying to keep from falling over or outright passing out again. From the hallway they'd come in through, a trooper ran in, panting hard.

“General! They're landing troops! Fighters managed to get past the blockade, the 501st weren't ready for them!”

Obi-Wan straightened and nodded. “Alright, then. I guess it's a good thing we had a plan B.”

[remotely-radical]

Dreams are crazy this sometimes.

I used to talk to a girl on kik, when I was 16 maybe?? Lil not gay me who didn't understand being gay or accepted/realised it.

I cant even remember how we got each other's kik, well, she was gay, and I was obsessed with the idea of being friends with her, she was cute I remember. Just SOMETHING about her made me want to be friends with her, I can't even remember what we talked about, but she wanted to see a photo of me. Usually I don't care. And just send a somewhat okay selfie.

Nah, this one HAD to be perfect, I think I took it over 100 times, needed right angles, lighting. Even fucking props, as I had a necklace thing that I wanted right, background was perfect. Everything.

I needed her to like this photo of me. But why??? I've never cared before, how helplessly gay I was. I think part of me knew, but shoved it away.

Can't remember why we stopped talking or anything about what we talked about, just that.

Well, I had a dream, she wasn't exactly in it though, just me randomly remembering her, looking her up on Facebook, my dream gave me her exact name too. Well almost exact, my dream added a 'Mc" at the start but then I realised that wasn't part of it. The rest of it was spot on, and it wasn't exactly a basic name either, it's long and unique, crazy how my brain stored that name deeply subconsciously.

But also, I remember many many years ago from now even, probably 2018/2019 i reckon. I did the same, had that memory pop up and looked on Facebook and eventually found her, as I couldn't fully remember the last name. Just thought it was cool to remember and see her, I wonder if she remembers me. Because I really doubt it. Since she was already gay and probably dating girls. It wouldn't of been a core memory as it was to me.

Anyway I looked her up when I woke up, found her, she's really pretty, no wonder lil closet gay me lost her mind haha.

It would actually be so awkward if somehow we met at some place, amd she didn't remember, I'd feel so awkward because I'm like "hey I know your Facebook amd have memories of you and you have no idea who I am"

But, I will just forget her again, till probably another 5-8 years I'll have this memory again.

Memories are so strange like that. I'll fully forget the existence of people, till I randomly remember. But I assume everyone is like that, as you can't always be thinking and remembering everyone, it's not possible.

Except I'll forget friends that's in my life currently, I'll go weeks and sometimes months without talking to one, till something reminds me of them and I'm like OH SHIT they exist and feel I've neglected them haha.

But also, they hadn't messaged me in all that time either, so did they forget too??

Still so crazy about this dream giving me the exact name and spelling though, I swear I read a thing where it's impossible to read in your dreams or tell the time?? But I have dreams where I fully read a sentence, and look at my phone/watch and see a time.

[tiddyghostposting]

I'm just whining under the cut. It's heavy sorry.

Today would've been our anniversary had we not split up and it's been hard. I try to not talk about it but the break up still has me fucked up. He contacted me a little over two weeks ago and it really shook me.

I just feel so angry and resentful and just so disappointed. His message was an apology but it just feels like an apology because he knows there needs to be one but I really don't think he understands what he's apologising for if that makes sense? Like why bother at this point.

He hurt me and he let me down at every turn in our relationship. He didn't say anything on the anniversary of my mum dying because apparently "I hope you're okay" was too hard. He forgot my birthday. He didn't speak to me for a month when I shut down (Because he ditched me for the thousandth time!). I don't even know why I stayed at that point? Like why do I hate myself that much?

The amount of times he cancelled on me or plain didn't show up. The amount of times we would plan to hang out and I'd be there. Waiting. For hours and hours. Only to get "Sorry, I can only hang out for half an hour and then I have to go to bed"

I just don't get it. We were really good friends prior to our relationship but now I look back and wonder if maybe I was just deluded?

Part of me wonders if I was just a fetish to him.

When we didn't speak for that month after he let me down I had told a friend about the situation after about a week and she even messaged him and told him he needed to contact me because I wasn't doing well. "Oh yeah, I should" and he STILL couldn't fucking do it.

I tried to be patient with him because he does 100% have a stressful living situation and I know his relationship decay is different to mine because of his ADHD but I just spelled everything out so plainly and he just couldn't put the effort in.

The thing that hurts most is that this was almost a complete repeat of the relationship I had previous. That ex came home, sat me down and said "I don't love you anymore and I haven't for a really long time" despite us talking about getting married and buying a house. For months they didn't bother to have a hard conversation because it was easier and more convenient. So he does the same. He doesn't bother to tell me he stopped taking his meds. He didn't bother to fucking talk to me in general.

I think this has really driven home that no one will ever love me the way I love them. No one will ever bother to put in the same effort or understanding that I do. I'm 26 and I have spent 23 of those years wishing I was dead and I think that maybe I'll always feel this way. I wish that I had overdosed in 2018. I wish _____ hadn't chickened out and killed me that night. I wish I had died on that operating table. I wish my stepdad had shot me that night and at least it would have saved me from so much misery.