#And then I guess I gotta figure out how you write an actual story adn throw together a plot

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

The first days (4)

The second last part. Hello and bye bye.

Bonzle herself didn't really had a need to eat. Or drink. Not only was she technically still a spell, but her body was that of a skeleton as well. Without the presence of Fritz, Spitz and Geo she would have never learned to cook, though her skills are pretty basic. Or ever think about people with normal mortal bodies needing regular food and water to live. (Did other living skeletons sometimes feel hungry? Unliker her they used to be humans after all.)

So... She probably should have realized sooner that the reason Kai was getting slower and slower was because he definitely needed something to eat and drink. Not because, as blunt as she was, he was losing hope to get out of this place or something. Or maybe it was both. Because Fritz and Spitz always yelled about being hungry or thirsty, and Geo would maybe not yell about but definitely mention it. Cole too. A lot. It was weird how the hunger of every single humanoid seemed to be so different all the time.

The sound of Kai's hard breathing suddenly going up before almost dissapearing was loud in the silence of this place. Even louder was the sound of his body falling onto the ground immediately after. Then only her own steps could be heard as she ran over to his unconscious body.

"Kai? Can you hear me?" She grabbed him on his shoulders and gently shook him. Then a bit harder after not getting any reaction from the ninja.

Still no reaction. This was bad.

Without any actual plan to follow or orientate herself, Bonzle could only look around the gravity defying void of stone walls and stairs. The only thing interrupting the grey stone was the dark patches of moss growing in the corners.

Though one of the patches was actually growing into a trail of moss, into another one of the endless floors.

Plants... meant life... right? Even if it was just moss.

She looked back down at Kai. Now, with less shock and panic, she could see that he was indeed still breathing. It shallow at best, but that was still better than nothing she supposed.

"Well.", Bonzle said to herself. "Gotta find a resting place first I guess."

With that she heaved up the unconscious red ninja over her backbones and followed the trail of moss.

Without a plan, she just had to keep on walking after all.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Man, I wish I could write stories with foreshadowing as brilliant as Steven Universe.

tl;dr I like foreshadowing. The payoff in Steven Universe was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE and I really envy their masterful storycrafting, but I’m not sure how to foreshadow so subtly at all actually. Or drop Big Hints without Backstory and Directly Revealing It. I’m comparing my very lore-heavy stories with SU’s Background Presence of worldbuilding, considering how that impacts my ability to Ease It In There Naturally, adn focus on character developement.... Basically, I want to do more to tie all my stories together. Continuity is sacred to me, it always has been, but I want some mystery with it-- “So THAT’S what that was about” is a feeling I really delight in, and would like to learn how to build more artfully.

The times I’ve tried, intentionally, come off as either way too silly, or, let’s be real, a little heavy-handed. Imean, my stories certainly don’t lack Plot Twists and Shocking Reveals. But a lot of the moments in my stories come as complete surprises to the CHARACTERS. So, the way I narrate, the only way I’m COMFORTABLE narrating, it feels like it’s gotta be Surprise via Narration Too. (I don’t narrate through events. I narrate through the characters.)

Unforeseen and Unforesaken has: ~ Everyone noticing Dove wearing a cloak that’s kinda like Raven’s, with some other vague resemblances. ~ Raven side-eying Dove’s powers being unleashed by emotion. And Dove knowing her name. ~ Starfire commenting on Dove being From Azarath, Like Raven.

And that’s all just in, like, the first chapter. (I mean, I wanted to Kick the Mystery of Dove’s Heritage off strong.)

But the Entire Subject of “why is Dove like this, Who Is She” kinda gets... left at the door through the rest of the story, UNTIL the Actual Reveal of “she’s Trigon’s daughter! She’s Raven’s SISTER!”

In the rewrite, I’m going to explore the fallout of that revelation a LOT more intimately.

So I have the cooldown well placed.

But I’m struggling to give it more Warm Up beforehand.

(I’m thinking, the parts where Raven is able to sympathize with her, kind of illustrates that mystery a little? Draws a connection between them?)

But then again, maybe exploring who Dove is as an INDIVIDUAL is more important than her relationship to Raven, too...

Mmmmaybe in the Grand Tour scene, Starfire comments on Dove’s cloak looking like something Raven might wear, if it wasn’t so bright? (Because it’s Hella Canon, Starfire tries to connect with her and open her up so she can relax and find comfort in her new home.) But Dove kind of hesitantly dismisses it as being “just Azarath”, they like hoods and cloaks, she guesses?

So there’s another Parallel, but Dove actively avoids making it into a “””parallel”””... (Because, I mean, she hardcore doesn’t WANT anyone to know who her father is.)

There WAS the (definitely comic-book cheesy [but i love it that way]) chapter-end of DDD that went something like:

She finally felt like everything was going right again.

The only problem being: she was wrong.

To that effect, anyways. I like it~ (Especially since everything starts going wrong for her in that story.... ;; )

But, like. Foreshadowing in Soul Sickness (pre-revamp title: Mystery Sickness) would be really neat? If I could pull it off. Like, I know there’s a scene I need to add to the Very, Very Beginning where the team takes on Mumbo again, because they’re convinced his magic is the reason that Raven fell ill. (Which is never supposed to happen; she absolutely cannot get sick from pathogenic infections. That’s hardcore, blatantly-stated comic canon!)

Anyways, point is, I don’t know if that’s the kind of foreshadowing I’m looking for? Because it’s magical malady for sure. And it’s not until the end that they figure it out, and only because they’re investigating the phenomenon where Raven gets worse when Dove’s near for a few hours, and without explanation, seems to heal quite well when Dove vanishes into the night.

And then, after ruling out anything they can think of, they uncover the CAUSE of it being Alerina’s spells, not Mumbo’s.

I mean, it’s definitely a plot twist of sorts. Nobody expected Dove’s mother’s magic to have that kind of effect on her.

But I wish I knew how to foreshadow that more... 

~ There’s the Mysterious Force that Raven feels when she first empathically connects to Dove, and subsequently feels again any time after. That’s in Dove’s debut, and the prequel to Soul Sickness...

~ I mean, the title itself is going to be “Soul” Sickness, which basically already reveals that it’s not a physical sickness.

I like that. Little tiny tidbits like Those.

But, like...

...I kinda want to foreshadow something brilliantly, the way they’ve done in Steven Universe. Even just one or two times, I’d really like to give someone that moment of, “!! Ohhey, that makes SENSE now!” Or “I can’t believe that was actually what THAT meant, 47 pages ago.”

And Srentha’s survival. That deserves foreshadowing. (During Nothing Good Lasts Forever, when Raven takes Dove to Azarath to reconcile what happened in her vision, and to get closure and finally be able to find peace with it: I want to add a blurb about “On the other side of the monolith, someone notices the flickers of energy, and thinks he hears voices, but after the stir of magics [of Raven's teleportation] was raised, trying to follow them led him to nothing but ash swirling in the fading wind.”

Something like that.

(There are like 5 years of stories between “Nothing” and Srentha’s debut, though. {lD I wonder how many readers will remember? Or even, care enough about The Mysterious Person Mentioned Once on Azarath. Let alone, theorize...)

Well, my stories certainly aren’t as cute, blatantly emotional, or quickly-formatted as Steven Universe. Not as immediately interest-catching. (There’s enough passion, heart, and soul in them. Definitely as much angst and comfort.)

But I can’t help wondering if anyone will care half so much as I do about my characters, and their stories, when I start using little tricks like that? I wonder if anyone else will be left wondering? Caring? 

...Ultimately, I really don’t care. I’m going to try my best, and write my stories anyways. Probably never publish them, until I get rich enough to self-publish. Too much else in my life for that.

But it would be nice.

Point is, it would be a really cool trick of story-crafting to learn how to use, wouldn’t it?

The breadcrumb trails and build-up and Mystery Developements was my favorite part of Steven Universe. That build-up, theorizing, and finally REVELATION catapulted it to tie with Teen Titans for me. The incredible PAYOFF. I know what THEY did. I just... don’t, really really DON’T, know how to use such brilliant, subtle gestures to foreshadow and hint at my own stories....

...but, coming to think of it, another huge gap (besides Storytelling Format) exists between mine and theirs: Steven Universe focuses on a magical family viewing mundane emotional humanity through the lens of fantasy. Their lore-dropping is few and far between, because that’s not the focus.

Oh, my stories very much ARE focused on the lore. You can’t really be subtle about The Actual Point And Theme And Setting And Entirely-Relevant-to-Character-Developement Lore. At least not when it’s Literally The Cause, Journey, Hinderance, Help, and Solution in my characters’ lives.

I think I’ve gotten quite good at working the lore into the natural flow of the story~ Perhaps not as lengthily paced, but I like to think it’s as In-World-Naturally as SU typically managed. Casual fact-drops. Settings. Background info that’s not the main focus of the scene. Integrating the lore-drop in with the innate mindset, history, and relationships of the characters.

I mean, frick guys, if it wasn’t for Azarath and Trigon and Azar’s Crystals and the Fauni separation and Dove having great power inside her, and Raven having mastered such power, and mindscapes manifested, and metahuman shennigans... I wouldn’t have any stories to write, guys. These things are SO integral and important to my stories! (Mundane drama human stuff? It’s cute in SU, but I, personally, do not enjoy dedicating hours to capturing that in a story. I don’t, personally, want to explore people and leave out the Wild Fun Mind-Bending and Stimulating Soulful Magic Stuff. The stuff I’m passionate about exploring! The stuff that’s not just rewarding in the end, but ALSO fun and exciting to GET through, UNTIL the personal developement is proven!)

The perspective of my stories is an unwilling mage going through things both fantastical and mundane to learn about herself, learn about the world, and most importantly, learn to have a PLACE in the world. Learning to accept her heritage. Learning to accept her limits with magic her mother treasured, so she treasured too. Learning how to control her own mind and heart and navigating a new reality, and a new morality, amidst it all.

The person is absolutely a Top Tier Important element in my storytelling. Dove’s growth and developement is the reason I love her as my protagonist. But I can’t write her story without the magic stuff.

My stories are narrated with far more focus on the wild stuff than SU’s crew chose for their story.

But I like my humans meta and their problems magical honestly, I think it’s just a lot more fun. ;P (Definitely written with equal doses of Heart. But magic is a lot more insistent in Dove’s life, and a lot less of The Internal Struggle, really... mostly just a side-effect.)

...gosh, this got rambly.

But I guess my point is, because it’ll be fun to figure out how to Artfully Foreshadow Shit, I’m definitely going to try.