#And so he takes it out on Darkness who is considerably less patient and sympathetic than May

[mushroom-for-art]

Part 5 I think! Shorter one this time a sorta soft inbetween before the next part for context, with Syn belonging to @seasidemew!

Separating

Matt lay in the shade of the forest on his back, flecks of sunlight dancing across the blades of grass and rocks through the gently swaying leaves. He ached. But he didn't know why.

"Here you go, brat," he looked over at the dark blue mewtwo that was supposedly his sister groaning softly at her existence as he slowly sat up catching the sandwich thrown at him with psychic energy.

"I could've dropped that." He snapped at her plainly as she shrugged leaning against a tree as she bit into her stolen goods.

"I wouldn't have let it go splat, God, May said you like spice so enjoy got that special for you." He quietly sneered at her as he summoned a psychic arm to hold the sandwich peeling back the wrapper and sniffed it, smelt like curry. He side eyed her carefully before he bit into the sandwich.

The bread was soft but not crumbly holding its form well as the chicken curry blessed his tongue. It was spicy. He could feel the heat rising in his mouth, the aroma of spice welcoming him as he chewed and swallowed before going for a greedier bite.

A large dark hand grabbed his throat and he felt himself weakening his body going still, he couldn't feel his legs, he couldn't feel his tail or his face as a dark maw grinned at him in his minds eye with cruel vicious intent. His psychic arm disappeared, dropping the sandwich earning an insulted "Hey!" from the other that he didn't hear.

He struggled for breath stumbling to his feet as he half collided into a tree before his stomach twisted and he lost his lunch as Darkness made a disgusted sound. He spat multiple times as his body quivered in horrific memories.

He slowly stood and received a weak water gun to the face, the water splashing and soaked him.

"What the hell was that for?!" He snarled, shaking off his head of water.

"Don't people usually want water after doing that? What gives? That was a perfectly good sandwich." She bit into her own watching him

"perfectly good sandwich?" he quietly echoed before half roaring, "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD?!"

Darkness met his furious glare with a cold calculated done one.

"You're just as bad as that fucking other one you are you are sick in the head!" He continued to rant his tail pointing at her accusingly as he snarled and spat venomous words.

"I don't get why May fucking trusts you, maybe she's just naive enough to not notice how fucked you are!"

"Hey." Her tone was cold and commanding as she took a threatening step forward. "It's not nice to talk about your sister that way, she trusts me because she cares about you and wants you to be safe."

"Right. Well I still think it's stupid of her, she's too forgiving of people because I know you're not as nice as you pretend to be for her."

"Yea well her being forgiving is the only reason she puts up with you so maybe you should be more appreciative of that fact."

He looked at her coldly, "excuse me?"

"You heard me Pinky, you act like an absolute dickhead most of the time and yet she just smiles and puts up with it, puts up with you, her forgiveness and her unfaltering kindness and patience are some of her best qualities and it's something you and I both lack and I know I am MORE than aware of the fact I don't really deserve her care but at least I appreciate it."

His face twisted into that of confusion, wondering before his eyes turned cold. "Oh. So you arent the nice sister you pretend to be you have done fucked up stuff. Is that why you'd talk with that other one huh? Sense of kinship with your little rock club?" He stepped forward, tone mocking as she looked at him brows falling in annoyance.

"Right!" She threw her hands up ignoring the way he flinched back, "that's it, I'm not putting up with this and I'm not putting up with you anymore. You wanna be alone Matthew? Fine whatever be alone I'll go let May fucking know, I hope you enjoy your solitude! Maybe learn something from it." She didn't give him time to breathe a response as she flew up fast into the air breaking tree branches on the way up and scattering leaves flying off to go find her sister.

Matt stood alone under the cold of the trees shade, and he didn't like it, but he didn't like swallowing his pride more. So he stayed alone.

———————————–––—————————

Syn glided easily through the air following just behind May as she carefully traversed a rocky terrain, he watched her take a big step into a rock then hop to another. His mouth pulled in a confused way watching her move in such a strange way there was plenty of rocks to stand on why was she hopping around.

"Can I ask what exactly it is you're doing?" He queried as he floated lazily besides her as she stood looking around at the different rocks and stones.

"Oh you know," Mays tone was vague as she shrugged, moving her hands and doing a little hop jump to another rock.

"No? I don't know?" He exhaled out his nose almost a laugh looking at her in increasing confusion.

"I'm just," another step, "playing a game."

"A game."

"Yup. I can only step on rocks like the one I'm standing on. If I touch the wrong one or stand on one that's sharp I lose points."

"There's a point system?"

"Of course!" She hopped over to another rock and he watched her letting out a baffled chuckle. She was a grounded two by nature and here she was making games of her predicament using the obstacle of having to walk and turning it into an opportunity to make fun of it. He watches her take a large step onto a rock, her arms swaying for balance as she leant forward and backwards trying not to fall, purple psychic energy gently grabbing the end of her tail to stop her toppling forward as he flew past casually. She flashed him a playful grin and he in turn smiled back moving to land carefully on the grass at the end of the rocks.

He watched her turn and side hop down a few rocks in a row, jump to one slightly further away and do one last leap to land on the grass, she landed on one foot carefully did a bit of a twirl though he wasn't sure how intentional it was stopped and bowed with her arms doing a dramatic flourish as he chuckled offering her a clap.

"Alright, I'll admit despite not understanding why at all you did that it was quite amusing to watch. What was the final score?" He tilted his head towards her and she laughed, throwing her hands up.

"No idea!" She laughed more, "wasn't keeping track!" She beamed and he blinked before laughing from sheer bafflement and amusement of her lightly shaking his head.

"You are a puzzle sometimes." She chuckled at him as he smiled.

"I'm choosing to take that as a compliment buddy boy." Her tone was entirely playful as she stepped by him lightly bumping her hip against his in an entirely friendly manner. "Let's go!" He watched her skip lightly in her step as he moved to follow after letting out a sigh that was almost quite fond.

"Didn't think you'd be falling in love so easily there handsome." He turned his head quickly to look at Citrus who delicately landed on some of the rocks behind him giving him a cheeky smile as he looked at her, she dramatically put the back of her hand to her forehead, "I get it, you like smaller girls," she gave him a playful coy look as she hopped off of the rock she was stood on brushing her body past him intentionally as she walked over to May who had noticed her arrival. He gave a playful low growl flashing his teeth without any real threat making her laugh softly and make something of a purr before her attention went to her sister.

"What you doing here Citrine?" May looked around, "Where's Matt?" Syn took a moment to realize the pink once was nowhere to be seen as Darkness floated towards her sister then past her with a head motion. May paused looking concerned, moving to quickly follow as Syn moved also rather curious to what might have happened.

"Not you darling, girl talk, don't worry I'll make sure to say nice things about you and not mention your little problem~" Darkness' tone was a playful tease as she winked her eye at him as he opened his mouth in mild offense but quickly closed with a small but empty huff.

May followed Darkness out of view as he moved to lean back against a tree, closing his eyes and focusing his psychic energy to listen.

"Didn't expect to find you traveling with him-"

"Where's Matt." Mays tone was sharp to the point and clearly worried.

"He's off in Galar, no immediate threats were in the nearby area but he was being a brat so I left him there because I wasn't gonna put up with his attitude anymore. He's fine though."

May sighed softly looking at Darkness with a softer apologetic look, "I'm sorry for whatever he said to you, I didn't think he'd be that way." Darkness huffed a short snort.

"Don't apologize for him. I think it'll give him time to consider his behavior." Darkness let her shoulders fall from her defensive crossed arms, "so, you and him huh traveling together? How in the world did that happen?" May nervously laughed waving off a hand.

"Oh we just, found each other I guess uh, he was hurt and I healed him up and he asked to come with. He's actually kind of nice with him trying to do better, you were right about him being a bit of a charmer and," May made a bit of a soft sigh to herself, "he does have nice pretty stripes."

"You, managed to heal him? Are you getting powers back or?" Darkness moved over to grab Mays hands examining them.

"No I don't think so, I can't do it for myself yet but I didn't want him to die before he could be better, so I guess having the drive to help another kind of turns it on?" Darkness quietly hummed keeping hold of Mays hands.

"What will you do if he, turns bad?" Darkness wasn't sure if May could survive protecting herself.

"Hey I fought him once," she took her hands back playfully patting the muscle on her arm, "I think I could take him again," she laughed with a beaming smile but it didn't really bring Darkness comfort. She gently bumped her forehead to Mays.

"Don't turn into a string instrument..okay?" Despite his charm she didn't fully trust Syn but maybe her sister could get through to him, after all May got through to her…

May pressed her forehead back into her sisters making a soft purr.

"I'm being careful, don't worry." Darkness hummed, pulling away slowly.

"Right..well, I'm gonna trust you to not be an idiot then while I'm gone because I want to return to my nest that boy couldn't make beds for shit."

May snorted a soft laugh, "don't be mean, but you go enjoy your nest."

Darkness stepped away floating up into the air with a last worried look, she flew off. May waved her off even if she wasn't looking before moving to return back to Syn.

"Okieee girlie time overr, Darkness told me all about your little secrets~" Her voice was overly playful as she returned to him, he opened his eyes to look at her offering a smile before his expression became confused.

"Darkness?" He asked, causing May to pause before gently knocking her head with her hand.

"Sorry Citrine, Darkness was her original name. I kind of slip back to it because she hasn't fully settled on a new name yet."

Syns' nose wrinkled in thought.

"I thought Citrine and Citrus were incredibly good options," he felt insulted to say the least.

"Oh she quite likes Citrine but she might look into an M name, so we're all like themed but Citrine could be a second name." Syn softly huffed.

"Mitrine then." May snorted before bursting into laughter as he made a mock offended sound at her laughing at his name suggestion. She lightly bumped against him in play as she snorted and caught her breath and he smiled back, "you're horrid to me you are." He teased as she leant her weight more into him.

"Noooo~ I'm sorry I don't mean to be mean," her tone did betray worry that she was being cruel despite it trying to come off jokey as he sighed in playful dramatic fashion.

"I suppose I forgive you," he smirked playfully sticking the tip of his tongue out at her to emphasize that he was messing with her as she smiled back.

"So uh where is Mitrine?" He glanced around having hoped she'd stick around after such an introduction.

"Oh she went back to her nest she was tired from watching Matt.."

"Pinky? Hm that's a shame could've been the three of us." The thought of traveling with them both one on each side had his tail swaying.

"Ah I'm sure she'll be back, and I'm sure Matt will come around," he was less enthused by that but May seemed rather confident as she continued, "but for now you have me and my horrid company." She bumped into him again as she playfully walked onwards, a bouncing and skip in her step as he watched her smiling and floating after her.

He was glad that Matt had stayed away and while it was a shame Citrus would probably be away for a while it just meant he got to enjoy Mays company all to himself. That he got May all to himself. And he'd like to keep it that way.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Warm

Prompts: Um hi, I love your writing. Would you by any chance want to write a hurt/comfort piece where Janus returns from a meeting with the Light Sides and has a breakdown bc the Light Sides still don’t completely accept him after everything (not in an unsymp way, more in a suspicious-but-not-wanting-or-realizing-that-they-hurt-him-way) and Remus comforts him? Thank you lots (should you choose to write it :D) - anon

If your still up for prompts can you do remus helping to comfort janus after a busy day like he does stuff only dark sides would know that will help janus relax - whitehorsewolf

 Thank you for the asks, babes! 

Read on Ao3

Warnings: sympathetic dark bois

Pairings: can be dukeceit if you want, doesn’t have to be

Word Count: 1998

They’re not mean. They’re just cold.

Patton doesn’t insist that he’s evil and that they should never listen to him, that bar none, lying is wrong, and Thomas is a bad person for even thinking about it. Logan doesn’t throw barb after barb at him, pretending he doesn’t understand sarcasm and using it as an excuse to put down his intelligence. Virgil doesn’t make his life hell every time he dares open his mouth. Roman doesn’t loudly cut him off or glare at him or make fun of everything he says.

 Patton is quiet, asking politely if Janus wouldn’t mind explaining a little more. Logan is clipped, smooth, dispassionate. Virgil never makes eye contact with him but backs him up, every single time. Roman apologizes when he misunderstands and offers solutions for Janus to consider.

 They are considerate, they are careful, and Janus hates it.

 They’re walking on eggshells now, not just with him, but with each other. They speak so carefully that every single word becomes a lie, a lie of omission. Janus’s mouth almost starts to bleed with how bitter it tastes.

 They try. They do their best. And he does have to give them credit because they are trying. They’re trying so hard that it’s killing them. It’s killing him.

 So much is going unsaid so they don’t accidentally hurt anyone else that they’re tearing themselves asunder.

 Is this…what he wanted?

 He certainly didn’t want it to be this cold.

 Janus reaches his door with a groan, opening it and slipping inside. His fingers slide uselessly off the clasps at the front, unable to wrap around anything for long enough to undo the clasp, move the material, even work through the fabric of his gloves. The material saps the warmth from him the longer he can’t get it off, creating a strange warmth paradox where it’s the only thing that kept him standing in that frigid, frigid living room but now it’s wicking away every last speck of his own heat.

 He hisses, his mouth still bone dry from the lies. He manages to get himself over to the heat lamp and bat clumsily at the base, searching desperately for the button to press and make all this cold, cold, cold go away. He misses.

 He grits his teeth and tries again.

 He summons up every last bit of willpower he has and tries again.

 Finally, he hits the button and almost faints with relief. The warmth is there, it’s right there, he just has to…just has to get to it…it’s so close…it’s right there…

 Snakes…snakes don’t do well in the…in the cold…it’s cold…it’s so cold…

 It’s…so…cold…

 …so…

 …cold.

 Janus falls to the floor, his hand outstretched for the warmth of the heat lamp.

 Something bangs on his door.

 Bang. Bang. Bang.

 “Janny!”

 Janus can’t summon up anything to move.

 “Janny, open up, or I’m coming in.”

 He…can’t…move…too…cold…

 “Janny? Janny, you’re not supposed to be the one that’s scary down here.”

 …cold…

 The hinges almost fly off his door as Remus kicks it in. If he weren’t as he currently is, he’d be pissed. As of right now, he’s just…there…lying on the ground…out of the warmth.

 “Jeez, Janny, you’d think that you…were…Jan?”

 Remus’s voice turns from manic glee to concern in less than an instant. Before Janus can blink—snakes don’t have eyelids—Remus is there, next to him, crouched on the floor.

 “What’re you doing over here, Jan,” Remus mutters, “and why are you colder than a polar bear’s butthole?”

 “Re…mus…”

 “Yeah, Jan, it’s me, let’s…alright, let’s get you into the heat, yeah?” Remus grunts and gets his arms under Janus.

 Janus almost groans with how warm Remus feels, even through the thick cloak. Once the heat’s gone it’s gone, replaced quickly by the blazing light of the lamp. Unconsciously, Janus lets his head flop to the side, the scales starting to gleam in the amber glow.

 “Alright, that’s better, now let’s just—alright, here we go—why am I the one uncomfortable right now, is this what it’s like for all of you? It’s awful…”

 If Janus had speech right now, he’d be asking Remus what he was talking about. Instead, all he can do is hiss clumsily as Remus starts to peel the layers off of him. Why is Remus doing this? Is something wrong with him?

 Oh, right, he’s cold.

 A high-pitched whine splits the air. He doesn’t like it. He would rather it stopped, thank you very much. It hurts. Did they leave some electronics on or something? Can this stop now?

 Now Remus is making a shushing noise, what—

 —oh. Is it…

 “Shh, shh, Jan-Jan, it’s okay, hey, uh-uh, Snakey, you look at me now, yeah?”

 Warm. Warm hand on his face. He tries to blink—does he have eyelids now?—and Remus’s face swims into view.

 He’s worried. Remus never looks worried. It softens as soon as Janus can focus on him.

 “Hey, Snakey,” Remus murmurs, “you just stay here, yeah? Be a little snake puddle?”

 The whine keeps going. If anything it gets higher.

 “Shh, shh, shh,” Remus hushes, “if you do too much of that you’ll spread the cold back around you, you gotta be quiet for a little, yeah? I’m gonna get the rest of these off you, but you don’t have to worry.”

 …he’s the one making that noise. Well, that’s embarrassing. He’s sure if he could he’d be blushing right now. But cold-blooded and all that…

 “There you go, Snakey,” comes Remus’s soft voice as those warm hands go back to work, “just stay right here and bask in your heat lamp. I’m gonna help.”

 Janus lets his eyes close as more things start to jostle him lightly. He feels the thick layers being pulled away, exposing more and more scales to the bright light. It’s warm. It’s warm. He sags to the ground and his hands begin to twitch.

 A chuckle comes from somewhere above him.

 “Jan-Jan,” Remus murmurs, much closer, “I’m gonna get your soft stuff to put on and your scale brush, yeah?”

 Janus just hums.

 “When you got speech back you’re gonna tell me what happened,” comes the soft mutter before Remus is gone, leaving Janus there in the warmth.

 Is he…mad? No, not really. The others haven’t done anything wrong, per se, they’re trying their best and it’s…it’s not easy. None of this is easy. As a matter of fact, they’re doing quite well, all things considered. He’s not exactly blameless here, is he?

 Is he sad? That they don’t like him? Yes, a little, but that’s…that’s also not really what’s going on.

 He’s just tired.

 And very, very cold.

 “Hey,” Remus murmurs, having crouched back down, “hey, Snakey, you here with me?”

 “Mm…”

 “Good. Here,” he says, raising a metal straw to Janus’s mouth, “you gotta drink something. You’re not looking so good.”

 Janus opens his mouth and immediately winces when he feels something creak. Remus curses softly and summons something else.

 “Alright, Snakey, I’m gonna sit you up a little. Hey, hey,” he soothes when Janus whines again in protest, “you’re not going anywhere, but you gotta rinse your mouth out. Trust me.”

 Janus lets Remus—he doesn’t have much of a say in this, he’s still far too cold, but he trusts Remus—sit him up and lean him against something, tilted so his mouth is over a bowl.

 “Here,” Remus says, holding up another cup, “it’s just warm water. Try and rinse your mouth out a bit, huh?”

 Janus does, obediently taking a small mouthful and spitting into the bowl. Well, he more just…opens his mouth and lets it fall. There’s blood. And it’s going everywhere because he can’t aim like this.

 “Hey, uh-uh,” Remus murmurs when he mumbles an apology, “you do know who you’re talking to, right Snakey?”

 “’S messy.”

 “If you think these little things are messy then I haven’t been working in the common area enough. Shh, shh,” Remus chuckles when Janus immediately protests, “I’m kidding. Mostly.”

 Janus just keeps washing his mouth until it runs clear and it’s not as bitter anymore. Remus sets the bowl aside and raises the first straw to his mouth again.

 “It’s just warm water and honey, it’s not gonna do anything to you. I promise.”

 “…sure?”

 “I’m sure, Snakey,” Remus hums, holding Janus firmly with his warm, warm arms, “I wouldn’t pull anything when you’re like this.”

 He wouldn’t, Janus knows, he’s just…very tired.

 “There you go…” Remus gentles him back to the ground when he’s had his fill, picking up the dry brush and rubbing it carefully over one of his shoulders. “When was the last time you brushed your scales, Snakey?”

 “…mm.”

 “Oh, Jan-Jan…” Remus shakes his head and strokes the brush down his arm, patiently working across the scales. “There…that’s better.”

 The brush’s stiff bristles slide neatly between the scales and clean out even the most stubborn of detritus. Remus works patiently around the rest of his non-scaled skin. The bristles are too rough when they’re not on the scales. It’s quiet, just the soft buzz of the lamp and the scrape, scrape, scrape of the brush. It’s warm.

 “Snakey,” Remus murmurs after a while, “do you think you can roll over for me?”

 “…must I?”

 “You can talk again,” he chuckles, along with a gentle poke to his belly, “that’s good. And unless you don’t want me to get the other side, you gotta roll over.”

 “…help.”

 “I gotcha.” Remus gently works his hands under Janus’s side and lifts, carefully letting him rest on his stomach. “There…you can breathe okay, yeah?”

 “Mm.”

 “Good.” The brush returns, working slowly over and over the scales. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

 “Nothing.”

 Another gentle poke to his side. “Don’t lie to me, Snakey,” Remus chides, “you don’t let yourself get like this just because.”

 “The others are just…just…mm.”

 “I know, but still.”

 Janus sighs. He tells Remus how the others were cold. Not unkind, just cold. Remus hums, switching the brush to his other hand.

 “It’s gonna take them time, Jan-Jan.”

 “I’m not angry.”

 “But it’s still nice to hear, yeah?”

 “…mm.”

 Remus finishes with the brush and carefully sets it aside, rolling Janus back so he can look at his face. The warmth is starting to seep into his bones, sinking him further and further into the floor. Remus chuckles.

 “You gonna fall asleep there, Snakey?”

 “’S warm.”

 “I know, that’s the point. You can sleep, that’s okay. Want me to stay?”

 Janus reaches out blindly for Remus’s sleeve. Remus lets him pull him down into the shady spot outside the heat lamp, pulling Janus a little closer. He’s not as warm as the heat lamp.

 “If you wanna go ahead and fall asleep there, you do that. I’m not gonna go anywhere.”

 It’s quiet. It’s warm.

 “You’re doing great, Jan,” Remus whispers, “this shit is fucking hard on everybody. It’s gonna be okay.”

 A warm hand settles on his belly, rubbing gentle circles.

 “You rest now,” comes the murmur, growing longer and lower as it slowly becomes the only thing Janus can hear, “rest, Snakey…you’re warm now.”

 Warm…

 “You’re gonna be okay.”

 …warm…

 “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

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[like-the-wings-of-butterflies]

Pamper (Platonic!Queen x Reader)

Summary: The boys bring comfort during that time of the month

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1335

Requested By: @foxinaforestofstars - Hey there! I've spent the last week reading all your Queen fics and I adore your writing! So, I was wondering if I could request something platonic with the dear boys: Reader is on her period and the cramps are so bad she's barely able to move, covered in cold sweat and throwing up and the boys are taking care of her because it hurts them to see reader in pain. Thanks in advance!

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! I get severe menstrual pains so much of this is written from my own experiences but I completely understand that it’s different for everyone. Personally I think this is one of my worst fics because I haven’t written anything in well over a month but I’m hoping that this is similar to what you had in mind!

(Also in light of J.K R*****g’s repeated transphobic behaviours and the T***p Administration’s reversal of trans health protections, just a friendly reminder that this blog is a safe space and this post is for everyone who menstruates! Men, women, nonbinary people, literally anyone. I won’t hesitate to destroy terfs on sight :) )

Feedback is always appreciated! ♡

“(Y/N)?” Roger called, letting himself into your apartment with the spare key you kept hidden under the doormat. For midday your kitchen and living room was incredibly dark, the curtains still drawn from the previous night “Sorry for barging in but you didn’t pick up when I called.” He continued, peering around as he quietly made his way to your bedroom. “I was in the area anyway so I just thought I’d check in.”

He couldn’t say what he was expecting, but it sure wasn’t this. There you were, hunched over on the edge of your bed, one hand on your stomach and the other holding your head.

“Shit (Y/N) are you alright?” Roger gasped, snapping into action and running to your pyjama clad form. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he gently lifted your chin with his fingers when you didn’t respond. Brushing the unkept hair out of your face, he smiled sympathetically at your bloodshot eyes and shimmering skin, a product of the silvery tears and sweat rolling down your face from the searing pain that found itself in your abdomen.

With short quick breaths and a waiver in your voice you whispered “No I’m fine Rog, it’s just that time of the month you know?” You quickly wiped away the emerging tears that were threatening to fall and plastered on the most superficial of smiles, “No need to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

He stared at you disapprovingly, shaking his head lightly, “I don’t doubt that but I don’t want to leave you here on your own either.”

“Roger I promise you I-“

“Did you want me to call the others?” Roger queried, seemingly unimpressed with your stubbornness by the way he interrupted you, “We can help out if you like?”

Although both of you knew that you didn't have much of a say in the matter, he allowed you to mull over the offer for a moment, reassuringly running his hands up and down your arms. Caving into his persistence, you nodded your head silently and watched as his face lit up with a smile. Quickly, he leant up and placed a quick kiss upon your forehead before lifting himself from the ground.

“I’ll be right back.” He vowed, running off into the living room to call Freddie, John and Brian. Part of you felt that you would be wasting their time and being selfish, but deep down you knew you’d drop everything in an instant if any of them were unwell and needed taking care of. The day would pass by far sooner and their company alone would ease the torment your body was putting you through.

You didn’t realise how excited you were until the remaining three boys bounded through the apartment door. While you expected their bright and energetic selves, you were met hastily with sympathetic and worried eyes upon seeing your bundled up frame. Roger had managed to get you to lie down in the comforts of your bedsheets and you wasted no time in curling yourself up into a nest of sorts, basking in the warmth that it provided.

With all four of them together, they quickly decided that Brian and Roger would go out to gather ingredients for the lunch that you hadn’t yet eaten while John and Freddie stayed to help you out where they could.

You and Freddie weren’t exactly shy when it came to physical affection with one another. You were the kind of friends that found comfort in innocent intimacy, holding hands and cuddling one another being a common occurrence. So when he offered to massage your stomach, you couldn’t accept fast enough. As you lied flat on your back, Freddie sat on the edge of the bed beside you, running his warm hands across your skin and soothing the aches that you fell victim to each and every month.

“Look at the positives my dear,” He mused with a gentle smile, brushing his thumb across your navel, “at least you’re not pregnant.”

“Right now I almost wish I was,” You replied jokingly, a puff of laughter escaping your lips. “I’d do anything if it meant this would stop.”

Right on cue, John manoeuvred his way around your bedroom door with a tray in his hands, “I made you some peppermint tea.” He announced cheerfully, placing the tray onto your bedside table, “Veronica asks for it often when she’s feeling like this, it helps her so I’m hoping it’ll help you too.” He confided, patiently waiting for you to sit up. Freddie wrapped an arm around your waist and gently lifted you so your back was leaning against his chest while John gathered one of the daintily painted teacups and handed it to you. Ever the considerate, he handed a second cup he made to Freddie and then grabbed a third cup he made for himself and clinked it against yours; joining in on Freddie’s and your quiet chatter, so you wouldn’t have to drink alone.

With your mind at ease as a result of the comforting tea and Freddie’s soothing movements, you found your eyes growing heavy and a warm humming sensation settled it’s way into your body. Before long, John and Freddie’s voices grew quieter as you indulged in the rest you so desperately needed.

When you awoke, a bright shade of orange flooded through your bedroom window. Hues of reds and yellows painting the ceiling in the most beautiful display. The pain in your abdomen had long subsided and you instead found yourself in the less sufferable state of deep fatigue. You squinted your eyes with a hand to your face as you adjusted to the light before making out the shillouette of Brian in the corner of the room. He sat perched in the armchair positioned next to the window, a cascade of curls falling around his face as he peered down at the book in his grasp. ‘Steppenwolf’ it read, by Hermann Hesse. Completely engrossed, he didn’t notice you were awake until you let out an audible yawn.

“Evening (Y/N).” He greeted, eyes still glued to his book as he finished off the page.

“Hey Bri.” You smiled back groggily, “I take it the others have left?” You queried, noticing the comfortable silence that enveloped your small flat.

Brian nodded while closing his book and placing it on the nearby table, “Rog had some errands to run, Freddie had an appointment and John has a date with Veronica.”

You nodded softly in response, a sudden wave of guilt washing over you. “Thank you for all taking care of me today. Although I’m so sorry I’ve kept you so long, you really didn’t have to stay.”

“Oh nonsense (Y/N), I wouldn’t want you to wake up in an empty house,” He reasoned, “Besides, we agreed that we wouldn’t leave you alone until you were feeling better.”

How thoughtful they all were, taking time out of their day to tend to you. In a bid to show Brian that you were in fact doing much better, you attempted you lift yourself out of bed and try walking around for the first time that day. However when you stood, a sudden wave of nausea washed over you and gave you the false sense of motion, making you lose your balance. Brian’s arms quickly steadied you and as the room stopped spinning you felt the all too familiar burn of bile rising up your throat.

Noticing you paling face, Brian swiftly walked you to the bathroom and dampened a washcloth to press against your forehead, “Chrissie’s out with her friends tonight so I could stay for a bit longer if you like?”

From the position you were in, knelt over the toilet bowl with tiles digging into your knees, you mustered a sharp nod, “Thank you for putting up with me.”

He laughed lightly in response, rubbing a soothing hand over your shoulder, “We’re here any time you need us.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tags: @kelleypenac @chlobo6 @crazyweirdocalledfriday

(Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

[justaramblingromantic]

promise

Characters/Pairing: Kobayashi Rindou and Tsukasa Eishi/EiRin

Type: Canon compliant, Post-series, Canon-divergent AU, Peerless-verse, Freestyle

Word Count: 1657

A/N #01: Been dreaming of Sicily again, and this was what came out of it. 

This is also a continuation of ‘mine’ and ‘favorite wild thing.’ Reckon there will be another three or four more loosely connected drabbles in this mini-series before I’m done. This couple just won’t leave me be, I swear.  

xXxXxXxXxX

That morning, she was all disgruntled and grumpy as they set off from Palermo. Wearing an oversized pair of shades and hunkered down on the passenger seat in an oversized hoodie, dark red hair tumbling down her back that was still not completely dry from her shower earlier, she looked rather miserable for someone who was on vacation.

Beside her, taking the wheel of the SUV that they had rented, Eishi briefly took his gaze off the road to glance at the miserable lump that was his girlfriend.

“Still hungover?”

She responded with an unintelligible mumble, hunching even further into her seat like an upset turtle.

“This is why you shouldn’t have drunk so much last night,” he scolded lightly, not entirely sympathetic with her misery since it wasn’t as if she was dying or anything of that sort. She turned towards him and sent him what was probably a gimlet stare from behind the darkened lens of her shades, but his response to her crankiness was to grab a baseball cap sitting on the dashboard of the car and place it on the top of her head, further shading her sensitive eyes from the bright morning sun.

“Rest. I’ll wake you at a pit stop.”

She was feeling a lot more like herself a couple of hours later, though still a bit quieter than usual. He had made sure that she was properly watered down and also had some food in her, so she was a lot less irritable, and was even beginning to gaze at their surroundings with renewed interest. Soon, they would arrive at the sprawling olive grove and vineyard where they would be spending the majority of this trip, nestled in the charming, rustic countryside of southeastern Sicily. As they got closer and closer to their destination, so grew Rindou’s interest and anticipation, and by the time they pulled into the massive, eighty-hectare farm of Pianogrillo, the redhead was already vibrating uncontrollably, beside herself with excitement.

“Tsukasa, look!” She turned to him with sparkling eyes and a giddy smile stretched across her face. “Isn’t this awesome? I can just smell all the adventures to be had here, already!!” She wound down the side window and stuck her head out of the car, taking deep lungfuls of the crisp country air as they drove past neat lines of olive groves and fruit orchards on a graveled road, an irrepressible grin growing.

A friend of a friend had recommended this place for a farmstay when Rindou had been researching for things to do in this region, and she was glad that she had taken up that suggestion and made a booking – the farm was even more gorgeous than what she had seen in the photos, with its sprawling vineyards that stretched out as far as the eye could see and that beautiful view of the majestic Sicilian mountain range in the distance. She could not wait to get out of the car and start exploring the grounds.

Eishi was bemused by her rousing enthusiasm. Undoubtedly she had been to even more exotic places than this for her work, but no matter where they went, she was always excited and happily marveling at the sights and, of course, exclaiming over the food. No wonder she was so well suited for her role on screen; she was so infectiously bubbly, he wanted to smile.

“Are you really that excited about this trip?” he asked.

She turned to him and peered at him incredulously, as if surprised that he even had to ask. “Of course, duh! I’m here and you’re here and we’re both at this very same place looking at the same views and sharing the same experiences! Don’t you think that’s special? I wonder what fun we’re gonna have here; we should go on more trips together, Tsukasa!”

He glanced briefly at her, lips twitching at her palpable exuberance as she chattered away a mile a minute. Her mood was definitely fully revived now, and it made him happy too, knowing that she wanted to visit all these faraway and foreign places with him and share her pleasure and delight with him.

“Yeah. Let’s travel together more from now on.”

They pulled into the front yard of the guesthouse and Rindou wasted no time climbing out of the car, grinning from ear to ear as she turned in a circle and gazed all around her. The actual working farmstead was a fair distance away and she thought that she could also see the stables just partially hidden up ahead along the road. There was even an infinity pool nestled right beside the guesthouse, and the 17th century architecture of all the holdings on the property had been painstakingly preserved and restored to exactly how they used to look in the past.

Eishi got out of the driver’s seat as well, pulling his shades up to rest on the top of his head as he looked curiously around too. There was farmland stretched out all the way to the horizon no matter which direction he turned; endless plots of orchards and vineyards cultivated upon gently undulating hills and rolling knolls, and it was almost disconcerting, all this amount of vast wide space that were utterly devoid of crowds and people, nothing but nature, flora and fauna all abound. It would take a bit of getting used to, but the white-haired man thought that it was already starting to feel like a peaceful, stress-free kind of vacation. Hopefully.

He turned to head to the back of the car to unload their bags when Rindou loped back to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him along in an entirely random direction.

“C’mon minion number two, let’s venture upon these virgin lands and go explore!”

“But our stuff-”

“Do that later, let’s go, let’s gooo! Ah! That’s the pig pasture over there, isn’t it! I’m pretty sure they are rearing free range Sicilian Black Pigs here; don’t you wanna go see-”

She was already salivating at the thought of those delicious, organic pork chops rooting about the woodlands, happy and plump. Eishi’s wilted determination was no match for that sort of motivation fueling her, and so he was promptly dragged along. They didn’t get too far though, for a horse with a rider approached them at leisurely canter from the farm, waving them to a stop as he neared. The steed was a tall, handsome equine with a sleek chestnut coat though Eishi was not familiar enough with horses to determine its breed, and its rider was a dark haired, goateed, middle aged man dressed casually in jeans, a plaid shirt and dusty riding boots.

“Bon vinutu! Welcome to Pianogrillo!” he called out in a heavily accented English as he drew to a halt in front of them. Flashing a smile, his gleaming white teeth stood out against his tanned, olive complexion.  

“Ciau~!” Rindou greeted back cheerfully, her ears perking at the familiar voice. “Are you signore Lorenzo?”

The man dismounted from his horse and turned to them. “Se, I most certainly am! And you must be the newlyweds! Congratulations, my dears. How was your drive here? I hope it was nice and uneventful.” Lorenzo unhooked a ring of keys from his belt loop and jingled them merrily. “Come; let us go first to the guest house and then I’ll show you around. We’ve prepared the most beautiful honeymoon suite for you lovebirds, I promise you’ll fall in love here all over again! Then we shall open a nice bottle of sweet wine to toast to your happiness!”

Eishi did a small, gaping double take as Lorenzo herded them back towards the guesthouse. Then he stared at Rindou, bewildered.

…Newlyweds…?

To his wonder, Rindou happily, gamely, accepted the offer. “Thanks for the hospitality, Lorenzo-san! We’re in your care!”

“So. We’re…married now?” Eishi asked his beaming ‘wife’ drolly while they were waiting for their gregarious host to tether his horse to a nearby hitching post.

The redhead grinned. “Why not? You don’t wanna?”

“I did not say that,” he was quick to refute. “Though it’d be nice if you can give me some warning next time since apparently I’ve missed my own wedding.”

She petted his arm consolingly, amused that he was playing along. “S’okay! Your beautiful, patient and considerate bride understands that you were busy with work. But feel free to make it up to me during our honeymoon…or I may just run off with some handsome Italian stallion when you aren’t looking~”

He gave her a deadpan stare…and then he glanced pointedly at their surroundings, where there was nothing but farmland all around.

“��Where in this countryside, pray tell, are you planning to wrangle a ‘handsome Italian stallion,’ my wayward, runaway bride?” he asked politely.

She coughed to mask a laugh at his deceptively mild question. She widened her eyes earnestly. “When there’s a will, there’s a way. And I’m a very determined woman, as you know!”

“I’ll paddle your backside,” he muttered in response, and she snickered.

“Is that a bribe~?” she asked innocuously, gold slit gaze sparkling with mirth and anticipation, and he groaned.

“You’re terribly unruly,” he chided.

“But you married me anyway,” she reminded him cheekily. “S’too late for returns now~!”  

He grabbed her hand and tugged her close before she could skip off in her excitement like she tended to do sometimes. “Who says I’m returning you?” he retorted. “You may be a handful but I know how to handle you.”

His bossiness was intriguing to her, and so she obediently stayed close, also partially pleased by his confidence when it came to being with her. She sidled over, tiptoed, and pecked his cheek, pleased to enjoy the thrilling luxury of his undivided attention, especially since they had both been so busy with work lately.

“Is that a threat?”

His lavender gaze settled on her, quietly darkening at her happy affection.  

“It’s a promise.”

xXxXxXxXxX

A/N #02: Pianogrillo Organic Winery and Olive Groves is a legit farmstay in Sicily and you can check their listing out on Airbnb. Yah, sometimes when I have nothing to do I like to go and look at listings on Airbnb in different countries, haha.

[nettheworldonfire]

If the Genes Fit, Test Them.

It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve last posted.  Somewhere between the drama and chaos that was diagnosis, first treatment, and weaning my 6.5 month old external tumor, and now the end of life as we know it (also known as COVID-19), I just didn’t have much to say, or much time to say it.

So while Charlie is sleeping, and Olive is screaming at me in her typical zombie-esque growl and tossing each toy I give to her on the ground, repeatedly, I’ll painstakingly stop and start this post, until I’ve given a short update about all that has been going on.

Genetic Counseling Update: On Wednesday I spoke to a genetics counselor over the phone.  I was supposed to go in, but the appointment was modified due to COVID-19 and we took care of everything via phone.  The counselor’s name was Stephanie and she was extremely kind and informative.  She called me promptly at 8 am and the call lasted almost exactly one hour, like she said it would.  (I kind of wish all appointments were this easy.)  They are sending me out a saliva swab kit to test my DNA.  The kit should arrive within a week, I’ll send it back out, and I should have those results within a month.  Easy peasy.

Stephanie said that about 10% of neuroendocrine tumor patients are genetically predisposed to getting cancer.  While only about 1 of those percents are people with my type of neuroendocrine tumors, due to my family history, they think it is smart to check.  On my mother’s side, I have a second cousin who also has pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors and liver metastasis (she recently started Lanreotide injections, too).  Additionally, my mother’s father had a neuroendocrine tumor on his spine, near the nape of his neck, which they assumed was was not cancerous, even though it was fatal. He was diagnosed in the 70s though, and then Neuroendocrine tumors were thought to not be cancerous because of how slow-growing they are.  When I was diagnosed 8 years ago, we tried to access his records from his more recent Jefferson hospital stays/surgeries (he passed away in the early 2000s) but we were not able to obtain them.  Anyway - that is enough to make this a fishy scenario. And in the words of the counselor, “reasonable to think there is an underlying genetic predisposition.”

While the most important reason for genetic testing right now is to find out if my immediate family may also be at risk for these type of tumors, it can also be helpful to know what treatments may be beneficial.  If an underlying genetic cause is found, it would trigger two things - testing for my mother and brothers, and testing for my children.  A genetic predisposition has a 50/50 chance of being passed to your children, so therefore, if I have it (presumably from my mother, since it’s on that side of the family) it would typically indicate that she does and my brothers and children have a 50/50 chance of having it, too.  There is yet a third consideration though - which is that it is a NEW genetic predisposition started with ME.  Apparently, there are 10 new genes in each baby, that did not come from either mother or father, meaning that issues like these can start with anyone, at any point (crazy, huh?).  

They told us that this testing, if not covered by insurance, costs $250 per person - something I think is worth it, in the long run.  I don’t think they would test my children now, but they said they would fairly early - and if they also have the gene - they would be followed/scanned regularly to ensure there are no tumors.  Definitely not the sort of thing you want to have passed down to the kids (I think they would prefer a family fortune, or a shorehouse) - so fingers crossed that I don’t have this gene and it’s all just a horribly shitty coincidence.  

Adventures of Olive in Formula-land Update:   My (adorable) hungry, hungry hippo is now taking 25-30 ounce of formula daily, from a regular medela bottle with a disposable enfamil nipple (go figure), like a freaking champion.  This girl can eat.  She is so proud of her bottle-loving self, that she gets up three or four times a night to show me how much she loves her fancy formula.  Luckily, she is four months away from regular old milk (or an abundance of yogurt and cheese, the route Charlie opted for) and we can stop spending $30 a week on her elitist beverage of choice.  I joke, but really I am thrilled that the horror of weaning is over.  That nearly killed me.  And in more personal news, I didn’t even have to pump that long, didn’t really get sore, and have pretty much stopped producing much at all - so that is a literal relief.

University Update:  After learning I was locked into paying for the course I had started a few days before my diagnosis, I was annoyed and anxious about what was the best course of action.  I decided that it would be better, for the purposes of my sabbatical (and needing to complete a certain amount of my program to meet the requirements of my district and not owe them back what I’ve earned this year) to struggle through the course, versus withdrawing, if we were paying for it either way.  So that’s what I did.  But, but rather than struggle through the course, I just kind of didn’t do anything.   I felt overwhelmed even thinking about it, so it was easier not to.  And I didn’t.  This past week, as week 8 (the final week) of my course began, I discussed my options for salvaging the course, so that I might at least “pass” with my chairperson.  She was accommodating and understanding, and now with even more craziness in the world, sympathetic.  She and I discussed a minimalist approach to completing back-work and hitting the milestones I missed in the last few weeks, so that I could still get some late credit.  I felt like so many of my students, basically asking, “What is the very least amount of work I can do and still pass your class?”  I suppose what goes around, comes around?

I started working my dissertation proposal again Thursday and will have more to work on this weekend - but should be able to pull off a small miracle.  I did send a crass email to the finance department and will likely be taking a hiatus from the program, as I am not sure where to go from here.  While I want to finish this dissertation and accomplish what I set out to -- I also just don’t give an eff at this point, and may want to spend the tiny bits of spare time I have doing things that make me genuinely happy.  After all, you only live (or die) once, and If the last two months say anything about life, well - that’s enough to scare anyone into treating each day as your last.

Side-effects Update: After my first injection, I felt okay for awhile, then got extremely tired for about two hours.  Later that night, I was quite nauseous and vomited a couple times.  By the next day, I felt a little wonky and sick - but overall, not terrible (more like a bad hangover).  Within two or three days, I think I felt normal again (what is normal anyway?).  Even now, almost three weeks later, I can still feel a bulbous spot in my upper butt cheek and from time to time it is sore.  I can definitely see why they recommend doing the injection on alternate sides.  The specialty pharmacy called me this week and everything is set up for my shot to arrive at Dr. Rose’s office sometime next week. He should be back to work on Monday and I am hoping he calls me with next steps/ideas.  The only thing I know for sure is that I need to get blood work next week and I am not looking forward to sitting at Labcorp and germ swapping with my Abington area neighbors, but I will be careful.

Anxiety Update: I started a daily dose of 5 mg of Lexapro about the same time as I started the Lanreotide - I think I have been on it for 25 days maybe.  I can’t really tell if I feel a difference because everything has calmed down a bit, and we have a plan of action to tackle this cancer and I am not actively writing my dissertation - or if the medication is working?  Hard to say.  I do feel better(ish), minus the impending shitstorm that is COVID-19 lurking around every corner.  My doctor, however, didn’t think I was any more susceptible than a normal 37 year old, so that was the good news.  The bad news is, that if they start making triage decisions based on health - metastatic cancer is one of the things that means you don’t get a ventilator - so I better watch my back (and wash my hands, and not touch my face, and all that jazz).  We’re socially distanced though, and other than my appointments, we will remain that way until things are less deathy out there.

Options Update: I am assuming that the whole COVID-19 thing has changed his thoughts on doing the embolization in April, and since Dr. Teitelbaum felt it was something we could hold off on, I think that may be the route we go now.  I don’t even know if they would do it, or if it would be considered elective.  Not that anyone would elect to go through this, but you know.  Hoping I will have a conversation with him on Monday to sort this all out.  Til then...

* Dark side: Quarantine, still, and maybe forever.

* Bright side: A lull in posts means a lull in “activity” means a lull in bad news - I’ll take it! * Next steps:

3/30/20 - Conversation with Dr. Rose about the plan of action

4/1/20 - 10:00 a.m. - Bloodwork at Labcorp

4/6/20 (tentatively) - next Lanreotide injection (I forgot to write down the time!)

* Sciencey GIF: