#And realize that indeed I m so happy with them and the plots attached to it and I want to take care of each one of them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mythykl · 5 years ago

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UNSPOKEN,, *todoroki x (f) reader

Genre : fanfic, smut *aged up* (shoto is imagined to be 21yo or something,, and reader as 19yo)

rating : explicit, NSFW, 17+

Warning : fingering, oral?? todo is pretty horny overall. starts w a pretty intense bg story, so you gotta read through all that to get to the good stuff. cool.

words?? idk, it’s pretty lengthy tho.

our todoboi is a pretty lovin’ bf in here.

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“I’m really sorry for yesterday, Y/N. I-I did’n-”

You clench your fists as you sit on the couch beside him, and interrupt, “Whatever it is- save it, I don’t blame you to begin with. I-I’m just mad. I’d spent almost a week for that chapter, to give justice and bring perfection in what I wanted to put across to the readers. Well- its not even about the time; I had thought through it so much, and atlas thought of typing it out yesterday- I mean- whatever crap that I had even written, I was proud of that- until,, your ignorant ass decided to show up in the room and fuckin’ switched off the computer assuming it’s already logged off, o-or whatever. You could’ve at-at least- fuck-” yup ya ass is livin’ in the worst nightmare of a writer, stay steady

You of course cried, and even threw a tantrum for an hour or so once you realized what had happened. But primarily, you were just mad- mad at yourself for not saving that damn file, and even at him cuz ofc.

Todoroki certainly didn’t take it well, since he is sad at present, and can’t even look in your eyes. He apologized multiple times since last night and had even prepared a breakfast for you before leaving for work; on the other hand, you haven’t even answered to his appeals yet with clarity.

Out of the blue you just cup his cheeks, making him instantly look up- at you, and then get up with an audible sigh, “Go get ready, I’ll prepare our dinner by then.” That gesture somehow took him aback.

He gets up instantly and blurts out in confusion, “I d-didn’t expect you to prepare a dinner for me, and on top of it- wait for me so we can have it together. You should’ve ate already, it’s almost midnight.”

You turn back to him, walking towards him to hold his hands, "I honestly don’t know what to reply. My heart- just thought it is the right thing to do that; one mistake isn’t enough to just hate you all of a sudden, Shoto. Moreover we are talking about this, it’s not like you’re being arrogant or things are left unsaid- and you’re genuinely sorry. I can see that in your eyes. I’m just- I don’t know. I’m depressed a bit- yes, but it can’t be helped now. I need some time to think, maybe.”

Little did you know that your kind words pricked him like thousands of tiny needles against his skin. He loves you, and however seemingly ‘small’ mistake this might be, he hates himself for hurting you- the person he loves so dearly. He thinks of his mother, his complicated family life- which had made him seemingly unemotional. You were one of the people to break through that forged cold wall. He had finally accepted you as his reality than his mere escapism and live with you, but here he is- bringing tears and fueling anger in you, like a good for nothing- just like his father.

After a slight pause, he just busts his arms open and pull you close to him, in his warm embrace, “What did I possibly do to deserve such an angel?” He almost whispers in his beautiful voice.

An angel?

“So talented, pretty, wonderful, real and warm. Remember. I love you. No matter what. I always will. And I respect you- your passion, interests, talent, likes and dislikes, freedom, strengths-weakness, your work, happiness- everything. Throw all the tantrums you want and cry all you want- more than just agreeing and being there for you- I’ll always make sure I understand you first. I’m sorry for being so ignorant lately.”

It may seem as if he’s crying, but he’s not. He said all that with a tough stance and gratefulness in his tone, a faint disbelief of having you as his significant other. While you just stood there, in surprise. You aren’t oblivious to his past and his journey through it. Is he blaming himself? or Is he again thinking that he doesn’t deserve happiness?- you’re at the loss of words and a mind fumbling all over the place. You simply subside the chaos, and hug him back.

“We’re definitely working, Todoroki. Understanding each other more than just being in love- something that many fail to do. Isn’t this great?” You at last blurt out.

“Yes. I guess,” he says as he detaches himself from you, “I’ll be right back- until then, read what I’ll send you as you have dinner. Gonna sound stupid of me- but I already had dinner at office. I assumed that you’d not prepare a meal for me and- would be asleep by now as well.”

“Wow icyhot, I’m mad at you even more now,” you say playfully as you walk towards the kitchen.

“I-”

“Save it. You would be saying that for the millionth time now,” you chuckle as you grab your phone, lying on the dinner table.

Before serving your food, you decide to see the text, only to find an attachment with a rather strange message- ‘Hey, here’s an headcanon for chapter 37, that I wrote. Enjoy.’

Wait-

Headcanon??

Wait did he- read your wattpad book? And moreover, came up with a theory to what might happen in the ne- next chapter.

Nice. jk. Ofc you lost your shit

For the sake of getting back to senses, you legit do the deep breathing shit- which your therapist always recommended you to do.

Now what?

You serve yourself some noodles instantly, since you don’t feel hungry anymore, rush to the dining table and start chomping on the cold noodles as you open the attachment.

What made you almost throw up was that the mention of word counts. Which is 3k by the way, though no where near how much you usually write.

Shoto is definitely not the kinda guy to have read any wattpad books, or more specifically even have come across the word 'headcanon’.

He probably noticed how you mention it as well at the end, but decided to put it in the beginning,, for god knows what reason?? Or, he did decide to go through the fanons- which your readers’ posts on tumblr. This eases your nervousness, you clearly urge for more.

You swipe down, reading furiously fast, yet scanning every word and sentence- atleast twice. The chapter, honestly, was mediocre. He had ideas but couldn’t put them across- with excessive repetition of words, but he is almost close to-

“Honey, are you done?” Todoroki’s voice almost scares you. You look at your bowl ready to grab another bite- but you had already finished the meal.

“Earth to Y/N. Don’t tell me my words were that mesmerizing,” he says with a smile as he rubs his hair with a towel.

“Let’s be honest, though you don’t have the talent of a writer, your idea was- kinda similar to mine. What I’m sayin is that you almost. GOT. IT. RIGHT. Well, kuro did spy on KAORI’S house that unfaithful night, and he didn’t have any sources as such, which does mean that he is hiding his real quirk- but, no- I’m not telling you more than that.”

“Since you already know that I read all your chapters, and did like the book- I certainly can’t wait to understand why KURO would possibly do that.”

You just smirk off his curiosity; “You gotta wait boy,” you say as you as you walk back to kitchen counter with your bowl. Todoroki marches behind you to grab the cleaning cloth to clean the table, as you do the dishes.

“Put that towel in the washing machine, please.”

“Yup,” you almost feel an ounce of happiness in his reply. After he closes the machine’s door, you at last ask, "So what are your thoughts?“ It has never been one of you expectations for the people to you read your books or even, praise you for writing, but a review wouldn’t hurt, would it?

"Uhh- well, I love how everything is now just coming together, as one can foreshadow that the book’s gonna end. The use of words was elegant, and the plot is bewitching. Has been a while since I even read anything in thriller, that too- this good. Fuck. Reading kaori’s point of view just the day before the murder was- unbelievable. And characters, they all are just great.”

That is indeed a Todoroki kinda explanation.

“Wow you did read all of tha-” but before you could complete your statement, shoto just grabbed your hips and stood tall behind you, now speaking in an extremely low tone, “And not to mention- the first sex between Kaori and Braun, it literally was like the depiction of ours. Except, they were awkward and slow, we weren’t.”

You pause. what took over him all of a sudden?

He continues, “That gave me a whole another perspective to what sex really means, and moreover what intimacy mean to you. It was.. surreal. Reading it, was as if- I’m living through that afternoon again, but with more emotions, and a bit more of you.”

“It’s not like I’ve explored much to actually wri-”

“Oh, is that so?”

“I’m not complaining, of course, but these are the moments I believe must be left to cherish and our intimate times just feel more- sacred to me like this??” Sigh, “Ugh. Now, how do I explain?” Well, that is true, even though Todo and you’ve dated for almost two years now, it was just four months ago that you lost your virginity with him, on your nineteenth birthday.

He had already lost his with the previous girl he was with. Though he never implied, it felt as if you were obliged to do it for him, due to your own insecurities. Once he got to know that, his reaction was nothing as what you had thought. He said that he loved you, and such things are nothing related to love; that sex is overrated, and continued on saying dorky yet adorable stuff like- cuddling was much better and what not. Since then, you had sex with him just thrice. None of you were really against this unspoken agreement, to not have-

Wait, an unspoken agreement?

Unspoken.

You instantly feel like an hypocrite, since you had just claimed to have nothing unspoken between you both.

Sudden a sharp pain in the skin of your neck brings you back to reality. Shoto is sucking on your skin, kissing ever so lightly. As if marking you.

An audible morn escape your parted lips as the bowl just falls on the kitchen sink. Todoroki leans forward and simply closes the tap and whispers, “So you do like to be 'submissive’, don’t you? Had this discovery while reading one of your books, 'Starless nights’.”

The exact book for which you had to watch vintage porn to make the chapters with intercourses more sensual and intresting.

Again, taking you by surprise, he simply turns you around as you continue stare at the ground with your hands wet, in front of you like dog’s pow.

“So I assume you liked my headcanon.”

“Yup; was much better than the crap I write, let’s go to-” but you’re interrupted-

“Now baby, we both know you’re the better writer, and that you just lied.”

“That was sarcas-” but he just pulls you closer and spanks you hard. You hiss as the pain spreads all over your butt cheeks.

“Never interfere, Y/N.” Wait wut-

Your immediate reaction was biting your lips- is he saying the words from the book? Not exactly inacting them but attempting to set a similar atmosphere, which you lowkey craved for in your wildest dreams.

“Since I’ve anyways taken this unspoken, unofficial oath of keeping you happy and stuff, now why not help you with some satisfaction- with all those juices flowing down your-”

You suddenly push him back and blurt while blushing hard, “Stop with this teasing and aw- awkward co- conversations todoroki! Fuckin’ juices, seriously? I’m not co- comfortable with-”

But then, you notice his right hand in your shorts. Or more like the sheer coldness against you clit, almost like there’s ice against it. When did his hand go in there? You end up clenching his T-shirt, as you jolt up on your toes.

“You. Clearly. Want. This. Don’t. You.” Suddenly, he pulls his hand out as he grabs your ass tight as he pulls you even further. Then, he brings his hand up to the height of you face and simply starts stares at the dampness on his fingers, “Wetter than I suspected."

Now behold the unbelievable.

He keeps staring at his fingers, opens his mouth as he places his fingers into them and suck it as you watch this piece of art in awe.

"Can’t believe that I had you like- just thrice before this. You do live up to what I usually call you, honey.” He continues, “I hope you’ve noticed my creativity as well, as i used my coldness to.. nudge it.”

“You’re being quite quirky today, aren’t you?” This statement just makes him go still, and the next second he’s found laughing. His deep voice, almost reverberating in the silent room. He steps back, brings one hand to his face as he looks down and continues to laugh. The mere sight of him in this way gives you so much warmth, this is the moment you realize that this is the true home. With him.

When he finally looks up, the mere sight of you blushing so hard makes him lose his composure again, but this time it’s a nervous laugh.

Approaching closer, you set your hands on his torso and continue, “That was quite execrable pun to chortle at, we were doing excellent just now-” but in reply, he simply cups his hand around your cheeks and say, “Shit y/n. You’re going to be the death to me,” and continues grinning like an airhead.

Why is he being annoying now? After so much sexual tension, how can he stop? In midst of you cursing yourself in your head, he leans at your height and kisses you.

Finally being out of patience, you look at the ground and stutter, “Ca-can we do i-it al-alrea-”

“Quite frankly, I’d like if you stay quiet, you shall take what I’ll give you, right?”

You look up immediately into his beautiful heterochromic eyes and say without any further doubts with a smirk, “Go ahead, Shoto, who am I to deny?”

“Sedective. umm, I like that.” he smirks too.

“Know that I love you,” and that’s it. Within one second, his hands are in your hair and his face is buried in your neck, digging deeper into you, as if uprooting releasing your soul from your body.

Skin glistening on your collar bone now and colours warming up on your cheeks, you whimper under his dominance, as he squeezes your waist and lightly nips against your shoulder. You shiver, with pretty evident goosebumps, in spite of the heat you both bear at this point.

Your breath gets hitched in your throat as he moves inwards below your collarbones. while his hands rest on your waist. You involuntarily climb a bit on him, intending to close the gap, but more to feel his manhood against you. Your hands firmly on his shoulders, almost pushing him back- maybe because it’s too much pleasure to feel at once.

At another rise of your hips, Todoroki places his hand on your waist and pushes you back down, “Easy, easy princess,” he mummers before getting back to fiercely kissing me. You run your fingers through his hair, as you body slowly commences to accept an indeed new experience bombarded at you.

Suddenly, you remember something. In heist, you shove him back and say, “Wait! We need to wash our hands- I- I mean we have just did chores. Well, at least partially and I need to wash myself- I mean I’m clean,” but then you stop to look at him just to find him in utter shock.

“Shoto! I mean I want this but hygiene is impor- fuck. I’m. Such. A. Boner. Killer. Ain’t I?”

“Point made.” Todoroki picks you up in bridal style and rushes towards the bathroom. for some reason i thought of adding this,, lmao

“Wait what-?”

“No time to waste.”

This makes you giggle a bit. You wash yourself while he as well washes his hands, and you practically pull him out of the bathroom, grab him by his collar and kiss him deeply as his hands slowly move up and down, feeling your torso- flesh untouched due to s mere knit.

His hand unapologetically moves to the hem of your sweater, and further inside; but within one move of his, you stood there shivering, exposed.

Immediately, you move forward in order to close the distance between you and shoto out of nervousness. His eyes drop down to your heaving chest and you’re painfully aware of that.

“Don’t. Don’t hide,” he mutters, grabbing a hold of your hands and locking them behind with one of his own for you to stay still; as he slides his other in your shorts. You feel his gentle hand running down the slit.

“Honey you’re dripping wet, what have i done to this innocence?” It seems that he expected a reply, but you didn’t. You just couldn’t. He then pulls the other hand to you face, diving in for yet another passionate kiss- accompanied by a battle of tongues this time. You are going breathless, but he refuses to move away.

The creasing in your folds level up to three fingers now,. He isn’t generous anymore, with aggressive circles in there, he finally commands, “Say my name.”

“Sho-shoto.” Your moans only fuel in his lust and desires, his want, an indeed selfish want to have you all for himself, to offer the utmost satisfaction.

He pushes a finger into you as you instinctively let out a small breath hold his busy arm with both of your hands. This makes him push you against the wall with his free hand.

“M-my legs, it’s going numb,” on hearing this, he removes his own shirt and slightly repositions himself, with one hand now on the waist and the other back in there. He kisses your forehead as you look down, unable to keep up with his pace.

That’s when the coldness returns.

“I- ah- can we ge-get to the bed first?” Your stuttered words only results in a widened smile from him. He is enjoying the sight, clearly in love with the effect he has on you. His head shakes, further sliding another finger inside you, “You can do it baby. You’re taking it all in without questioning.”

You nod quickly, as you start climb up a bit again. In return, he slowly curls his fingers- more and more with each passing second making you almost cry out this time, “Please n-no, this is too intense for me.”

“Yet my princess didn’t make Braun stop after that, I read in somewhere that Kaori secretly wished for him to not stop even if she said so. Just go on.”

You didn’t know how to come back at it, because it is true. You want your Shoto to push those limits you’ve set for himself, and you’d as well be fine if he simply throws off you cliff at this point.

“Now now, spread your legs y/n.”

Did he say something? You couldn’t listen. With eyes rolled back, you can’t comprehend anything to begin with.

“SPREAD YOU LEGS or else I won’t play nicely.” You’re eyes shoot up, and find his already searching for yours; before leaning in and gently kissing you. Your legs not being shut anymore, todo takes the opportunity, making his finger get stuffed deeper. His two digits start moving faster and harder, pounding against your walls- all while he feels you squirm to slow down.

“You can take it hun’,” he definitely knows what he’s doing, and you’re totally in for it. “Y-yes,” you moan softly. This is when he slides in a third finger, now really making you scream.

You attempt to gasp and struggle to stand, but then he says,”Stay,” as you unknowingly slide down the wall. Your nails dig in the skin of his back as you try to stable your stance on your tip toes yet eventually, your legs give out on you.

Suddenly, you feel him hit a spot which just pulls something inside your stomach. Todoroki on the other hand, notices your unusual hitched breath and starts hitting the SAME. EXACT. SPOT.

His free hand goes to the back and around your waist, holding you evermore tightly so that you won’t hurt yourself.

“I feel- like that- again-,” you manage to blurt.

“Like what?”

“Like pe-peeing, b-but different. Just like th-the last time we-”

He simply smirks, “We what?” He sighs and growls in your ear, “Is princess gonna squirt for me?”

Your body shudders against him as you moan his name, again and again, “Shoto, I-I-”

“That’s it. Squirt for me y/n,” with that he removes his hand entirely for one second, only to push two digits inside again, now thirsting harder and curling tighter; with his thumb against you slit. His hand grows even more colder, almost stinging down there, making you restless.

“Now.”

He watches you open your mouth and moan loudly, as his hand only gets wetter, feeling you squirt against his hand. You shake hard in his hold. He doesn’t let you go. A tear escapes you eyes, but simply doesn’t seem to care,”Shoto, for some reason I-I feel s-so great wi-with yo-,” but you are interrupted as he shoves you further against the wall , sliding down your shorts and undergarment, again with three fingers in.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises you while curling those fingers inside and then removing them together. He further continues, “seems like you’re ready,“ as he rubs the wetness inside the slit, giving special attention to your clit.

Saying that, he kneels down, now facing lower abdomen and plants a kiss over there. You simply look down at him, still struggling to balance, searching for even a slightest hint to know what is there to come.

Maybe he’ll stand up an carry you to the bed? or How about making him feel better this time?

But then, his face smashes his face on your dampness; almost attempting to bury in it as he holds you up and pushes. your legs apart. You clearly know where this is going, todoroki will be showing no mercy whatsoever.

"That wasn’t even the start honey,” he confesses in midst of you moans and begs for him to go slow. It doesn’t hurt anymore as much as it gives an unbearable form of pleasure.

You moan and whimper, yet he continues to suck in your clit. You can feel a finger inside, or maybe two, as they go in and out. Practically shattering you all at once while fusing you once for all.

Your hand travel its way to his hair. Ruffled enough to make the red and the white parts almost indistinguishable.

Oh dear.

Though your eyes are close, hands are fumbling around for support and legs are strictly held in place by Shoto, yet you can feel his tongue moving. As if in patterns, not that you could figure out. It either went in for an eight or just licked off entirely as one does while eating an icecream. You moan his name again and again, the same sensation building up block by block as he paves deeper and denser.

“I can’t take this anymor-”

“What makes you think that’s gonna stop me from eating this pussy.”

Little do you know that shoto can’t hold back anymore, it’s not just that he is in control but he has lost control. At the sight of your dark flushed red cheeks, delicacy and vulnerability, he only gets faster and tougher on you. His other fingers reach around and grips your ass, with his fingers slightly grazing across your unused hole.

That’s it, that was enough for you to go stagnant again, in your mind atleast. Your legs start shaking, with your mouth parted yet again. Shoto quickly stands up, with fingers still inside, to help you stay stood up. You feel yourself about to pass out, but in actuality are fully awake and aware. He kisses you, now moaning with you as well, as he fingers you until you cum.

His teeth take in your lower lip as your eyes flicker up at his unmatched ones.

Shoto, with one hand against the wall, halts for a minute. He stands tall in front of you, while holding you as you struggle to stand.

In midst of huffed breaths, you manage to say, “I- I, I mean- can I make you feel good as well?” On listening thise words, he goes still, “Baby, you can barely stand.”

“Still-” but again, before you could say anything, he picks you up in bridal style and dropping you on the bed; letting you lay back while he removed his left over garments.

This is when his erect manhood is finally exposed, refilling your memories of your first time when you had simply wondered how would you take all of that in. You did, though it was painful. But this time you refuse to be scared by the length, you know this is going to feel the best and you’re willing to take him in, deep inside you.

Shoto sighs and walks to the bed, “No-”

“Shoto?”

“Tonight is about you. Let ME explore you.”

“I wa-wanna hug you,” you blurt out.

He giggles, “sure, all that my y/n wants shall come true.”

But when you attempt to get up, your legs just fail to response. Even the slightest movement feels like a bolt of electricity run through you. At the sight of you falling back on the bed, Shoto simply smirks and says, “By the looks of it, I think I did a pretty good job at pushing your limits.”

“Don’t- I can’t even walk.”

“Wait,” he climbs on the bed beside you, sitting with back against the headboard while you lie against him, still breathless, still attempting to move.

“Don’t move princess,” saying this, he carefully pulls you up, with your head on his thigh. He helps you sit up slowly, while embracing your body against him, and finally hugs you, like a child clenching onto his teddy favourite bear.

“You are so beautiful,” he says as he gets up, while eyes glued on you. He moves to the end of the bed and pulls you towards him as he climbs in again. His two digits reenter your dampness, almost making you hiss at first but it’s soon replaced with moans.

Your back arcs as you mumble, “Sho-shoto, I’m very sensitive ri-right n-now. ah-”

While on his part, he receives it as a signal to level up to the next stage. He slowly penetrates in, soon pacing up. Warmth filled in your hearts and sweat glinting the lustre. He repostions you both a couple of times, giving you different forms of pleasures with each go.

You as well witness his fire quirk leaking out at times. He kisses you deeply and claims you as his own as he repeats the words, “I’ll never let you go.”

Now it’s past 3am, as your exhausted bodies lay next to each other; that’s when he whispers, “I love you.” Maybe he thinks you are already asleep, but you are not. He clearly can’t leave anything unspoken.

i hope this has left you baffled

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makomaragi · 4 years ago

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Never Gonna Let You Down

Title has nothing to do with the fic, I don’t think. I have been meaning to write something like this for a long time, but never? Did? It’s meant to be a sequel to one Raven wrote bit ago to put it in to context! I wanted to write at least one thing for femslash february, but I don’t know if this even counts.

Fennel questions her sexuality after a brief encounter with her friend, is not sure how to properly go about doing so, or what any of it even means

Rating: T, maybe M.

Pairing: Fennel/Aurea Juniper, Fennel/Colress,

Sleep was rarely something that evaded Fennel, others often joking that she could fall asleep standing if she was comfortable enough.

But it was going on the second night that she simply stared off at the dark ceiling, or at the wall, anything to avoid the girl sleeping in the bed across from her own. Every once in a while she could hear her emitting a slight snore, or shifting in her sleep, breaking down the wall she had built in keeping her out of her thoughts.

It certainly started off innocently enough, attending a New Year’s party on campus together. Save the fact that she had told her parents one reason as to why she couldn’t return home for the holidays, and Aurea another as to why she was staying, it didn’t matter now.

The party itself was rather uneventful. She had practically dragged Aurea there, forbidding her to ring in the new year buried in her books as she was. Not that the party had stopped her from doing so, keeping to herself in a corner on the couch, nose in a book, only looking up when Fennel had called for her attention.

She spent a good chunk of the evening with Colress, socializing with others, generally doing what one does at parties, including partaking in the alcohol being served. She partly blamed her consumption of it to the events that followed, though, it couldn’t entirely be the reason.

She definitely kissed her best friend at midnight. And her best friend had definitely kissed her back.

That should have been the end of it, she told herself. A silly, drunken kiss with her friend, there was no shame in it. Or, there wouldn’t have been if she hadn’t been thinking about it the entire evening, before and after the action.

But, then it happened again. She couldn’t really explain why she chose to lie down in her room mate’s bed instead of her own when they returned to their dorm, besides the feeling of still wanting to be close to her. The closeness she had desired had somehow morphed in to another shared kiss, nor did she remember falling asleep that night.

It was a comfort thing, she told herself. She had always wanted her first kiss to be with someone special, someone she knew, and it had been. Maybe now she could finally find the courage to kiss her boyfriend, if that’s even what he was. Aurea had referred to him by that title several times, though neither of them had ever formally asked the other out or confessed any such feelings about it. Maybe she really did simply mean it as a friend that was a boy.

Avoiding Aurea was just the easiest thing to do until she figured out why she had done what she did, or better yet, any feelings she might have on it. There was the passing thought that she was putting entirely too much thought in to it, and it was just another silly drunk adventure she had, nor had Aurea given her any signs that she had been upset about what happened and eagerly participating.

Growing up in Kanto, she had heard vague whispers of men dating other men, or women dating other women. It was never anyone she nor her family knew personally, always a friend of a friend, or something controversial on television. Nor was she certain it was anything that people did in the real world or if it solely was a television plot device or simply rumors invented because the person in question wasn’t involved with someone of the opposite sex.

No, there was truly nothing different about her, Fennel told herself, staring off at the wall. She would grow up, find a man that she loved, get married, and raise a family together. Not today, probably not even this year, but someday.

What if that man was Colress? Surely she wasn’t going to be in a relationship with, let alone be able to marry her best friend – it just wasn’t something that was done, as far as she was aware. Why was she even considering the thought if there was no substance to it? She had already kissed Aurea, and now, she felt, she just needed to kiss Colress. What happened with Aurea was simply practice for the real thing, she repeated to herself.

Her thoughts that night would not deter from the feeling in her chest after kissing her. It felt right, somehow, but if it had been the ‘right’ feeling, why was she arguing with herself in it? She had seen girls kiss other girls plenty of times at the parties she had attended over the years, and surely there was no emotional turmoil attached to the act as she was putting on it, and, from what she gathered, it was usually to catch the attention of a boy. That hadn’t been her intent, but she supposed it didn’t matter.

No, these thoughts that were clouding her head was only a result of the alcohol, the situation, and the amount of time she spent with her friend. She was putting far too much thought in to what was only a friendly kiss with her best friend, at a very appropriate time to do so, in fact.

Spending time with Colress was something she enjoyed, but in a different way. They were both very interested in computers, mostly spending their time together taking them apart and rebuilding them, trying out various uses for the computer parts in machines they built. They talked while doing so, of course, though their conversation mostly consisted of what they were constructing and not at all in the same way she was able to speak to Aurea. She couldn’t actually remember if she ever had spoken to Colress about anything personal or if their conversations truly always were about the computer parts in front of them.

Though, she supposed, having a boyfriend would be different than a friendship, especially if she was eventually going to marry him.

At some point, she had heard Aurea get up. She could her hear shuffling around the room for a while, opening drawers, and then clicking what she assumed to be the bathroom door. After another minute, she heard the shower turn on. Hopefully Aurea was going somewhere – she didn’t have the excuse of having any finals to study for or even papers to write, though, she usually took it upon herself to find her own projects to keep her busy.

Fennel didn’t much want to remain lying there for much longer, but felt she didn’t have a choice, either. She didn’t feel she was ready to face Aurea yet, and was better off just waiting for her to leave, if that was what she was going to do. If she was getting a shower, surely she was going somewhere?

Finally, she heard the dorm room door shut quietly. Aurea was probably going out for a walk, as she did most mornings.

Fennel pulled the covers only slightly below eye level to survey the room, in making sure Aurea was, indeed, gone, before she got out of bed.

She still didn’t entirely feel right, though it wasn’t the same feeling as being drunk, or even afterward. Now that Aurea was gone, maybe she could get some sleep. Taking a shower and eating the left overs she found in their mini fridge didn’t clear her thoughts the way she had hoped some self care would.

The world came back in to focus, and Fennel truly had no idea how long she had slept, nor did she remember lying back down. She must of passed back out while she was debating on what to do.

The sun was going down, how long had she been sleeping?

Aurea was reclined in her own bed again, book in hand, Fennel’s slight movement probably catching her eye from the otherwise still room. “Are you feeling okay?” she asked suddenly, moving her book down away from her face and looking over at her.

For some reason, Fennel was alarmed by her voice. “Yeah. I drank a lot on New Year’s, maybe I’m still recovering.” She knew this not to be true, but Aurea didn’t drink enough to know how long it took anyone to recover from it, nor had she drank as much as Aurea probably thought she had.

Aurea laughed at bit at that. “ I, um…” the brunette looked away from her, back to her book. “I don’t like parties, but that one wasn’t so bad.”

Fennel felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up, feeling the heat rise to her face. Surely her friend did not mean it at all in the way she was interpreting it, always meaning things exactly as she said in the most literal sense of the word. Aurea had been happy reading her book in the back of a dark room full of drunk people, on New Year’s, and came to the conclusion that it had been more eventful than reading alone in the dorm. Fennel was certain this was the way Aurea meant it, and it would be the way Fennel would choose to take it.

She suddenly couldn’t be around her anymore.

“I’m going to go see Colress, I’ll see you later,” she pushed herself off the bed, realizing she had, at some point, changed out of her pajamas and in to a hoodie and a skirt. Where had she wanted to go earlier, besides away from here? She still wasn’t sure why exactly she was avoiding Aurea, besides that she herself felt some sort of way about what had happened, though Aurea had been very far removed from it. She obviously had not forgotten completely about it, given her comment, which left Fennel feeling more flustered than she already was.

She had only spoken to Colress for a moment the day before, him calling her to make sure she made it home okay on New Year’s, though she thought it was about something else that had happened that evening.

The only way, in her mind, to prove that these feelings she had were nothing, was to finally lose her virginity to a man. She had a boyfriend, so it wouldn’t be difficult. They had never spoken about sex, let alone kissed. Was he even her boyfriend, or a friend that happened to be a boy? Nor had she considered whether or not she was attracted to him, deciding that, her feelings for her boyfriend would always be different than whatever she felt for her best friend. It was normal, and fine, and she’d go over and have sex with him, and it would resolve everything she was fighting herself on now.

Rushing out the door, she fumbled for her phone in her hoodie pocket, searching for Colress’ number in a haste, thankful he picked up quickly. “Hey, are you busy?”

“No, I’m just in the dorm. You want to come over?”

“Yeah, if that’s alright?”

She was thankful Colress was alone in his dorm when she arrived, assuming his room mate was still at home from the holiday. He briefly looked up from where he sat on his bed over his laptop, giving her a wave when he heard her enter the room.

Without much of a greeting, she sat on the bed next to him, just as she had done with Aurea many times. So far, she supposed, it was uneventful. Colress looked a bit confused as to her sudden closeness, which caused her to suddenly peer over at his computer screen, pretending it was what she had wanted to do the whole time. He didn’t seem to mind, even turning the screen so she could see it better. She wasn’t sure she ever sat on the bed with him, let alone this close.

“What are you coding?” Fennel asked, at least trying to sound interested.

“Nothing in particular, I’m just messing around with some settings.” He hadn’t even met her glance, still typing and pausing to study his work so far.

What would she want to do if it were Aurea sitting next to her? Probably kiss her, which was definitely not the correct answer, or simply inch closer to her. Neither of those things were possible to do with him at the moment, with the laptop in the way, and it would seem out of context.

Nor did that seem like a good comparison, her boyfriend was supposed to be the one she wanted to do those things with, she figured. There was also the thought that there was nothing wrong with doing both of those with both of them.

At some point, Colress set his laptop aside, stretching out and seemingly contemplating what to make of the rest of the evening. “Are you hungry? I was thinking about heading down to the cafeteria before it closes.”

“Do you have anything to drink?” Fennel wasn’t sure why she was so abrupt to ask, but she needed to relax. Colress was a year or two older than she was, she thought, as he always had a way of procuring alcohol for them.

“Did you just want to come over here to drink?” he laughed a bit, though rose from where he sat and shuffled over to his desk, opening a drawer and removing several bottles.

She smiled and shrugged, reaching for one of the bottles as Colress passed her a plastic cup. While it wasn’t the sole purpose of her visit, it would take her edge off, she hoped.

Colress helped himself to a drink as well, even going over to the fridge to get them both some soda as a mixer. Fennel didn’t feel as though she needed that, but awkwardly helped herself to some anyway. If it tasted better, she could drink more of it, then she would finally have the confidence to go through with this.

No, this was something she should want to do. It was natural to be nervous, she was sure. But, she hadn’t been nervous when she kissed Aurea. Boys are different, she repeated to herself.

“Did you want to go grab some food, then?” Colress interrupted her thoughts, standing a bit awkwardly next to where she still sat on the bed. He was most likely only wanting to go get some snacks and return back to his computer, her being here made no difference in his evening one way or the other. Which, usually would be fine. Much of their time together was mostly spent working on projects together and not strictly being together, after all.

“Why don’t you sit back down with me?” Fennel ignored his question, patting the place in the bed where he had been.

“You’re acting really weird,” he met her eyes this time, though did not comply with her request.

Fennel couldn’t argue with that, nor did she actually know what she wanted to do. Maybe it would be best to just be ask him directly. It didn’t seem fair to him that she came here with this intention without making him aware.

But – what if he wanted to do something with her? What if he had been waiting for her to make the suggestion? Then where did that leave her?

“Colress…” she began awkwardly. He must of sensed some sort of urgency in her voice, his brows raising in concern as he took a seat next to her. It was in that moment that she truly had no idea what came next – should she just directly kiss him? They had never kissed before, and it might upset him. Should she ask first? She could not really remember the context of which she had kissed Aurea, but she was certain there had been some consent involved. Fennel truly did not know what the next step was.

Without much thought, she closed her eyes, leaning towards him, feeling him push her shoulders away abruptly.

“What are you doing?” Colress, pushed her off of him within half of a second, as quickly as she had begun and long before she had her balance, rolling over and jumping to his feet in a swift motion.

Fennel reeled back from the force, sitting back on her haunches, “I was going to kiss you.”

“Why would you do that?” Colress genuinely did look confused, though, she supposed, it fit his timid demeanor given the situation.

Fennel realized she didn’t really have an answer as to why, at least one that would make sense to him. “Do you want to have sex?” Fennel looked up at him from where she sat on the bed.

“What?!” he exclaimed. “Why would I want to do that?”

“What’s wrong with me? Am I not attractive to you?” Fennel countered quickly, in realizing nothing she was saying was making much sense to either of them.

Colress looked thoroughly confused, giving a solemn answer. “You’re not attracted to me.”

“Where did you ever get that idea?” she protested.

“Because,” he sighed. “You like girls, Fennel.”

“Where would you get that idea? Aren’t we together?”

“What?”

“I-I thought…” Fennel’s eyes darted to the floor at the realization. Now she was more confused than she was when she was in her dark room contemplating all of this.

Colress clearly had some sort of sympathy for her, if that’s what she could call it, if she truly was confused by the state of their relationship, though he did not know where she would of got that idea from. “You thought what?”

“I-I thought that, um, you were my boyfriend.”

“I thought you were gay.”

“No, I’m not!” Fennel spat out before the sentence was even completed.

“It’s okay if you are,” he continued, seemingly realizing what was going on. “Maybe you just like Aurea.”

“No, it’s different! She’s my best friend, she-”

“I saw you kissing her at the party,” he stated simply. There was not even a hint of anger, let alone jealousy to his tone, only a statement of the fact. “It’s okay, I’m not upset, if for some reason you thought I was.”

“It was midnight on New Year’s! And I-”

“I know you were drunk,” he finished for her. “But, I’ve figured for a while that you liked her that way. It’s really fine.”

“No it’s not!” Fennel started to feel the tears stinging her eyes, her throat suddenly feeling raspy from her sudden shouting. “I-I’m not like that, Colress!”

“You talk about her all the time. If she’s not with you, you’re worrying about what she’s doing. You even told me you lied to your parents so you could stay at the dorms with her because you knew she was staying.”

Fennel could feel her words getting caught in her throat again in her anguish and surprise, “I-I’m not-”

“It’s okay that you’re gay, Fennel,” he was smiling for some reason, besides that maybe he had been looking for an appropriate time and place to discuss this with her, finally seating himself next to her and patting her shoulder in comfort.

“I’m not, though!” Hearing him use that word in reference to her left her shaken to her core, realizing how badly her body and hands were shaking in defending herself. “I-I’m just comfortable with her. She’s my best friend. We take care of each other, I love her!”

“I know,” he smiled, Fennel not seeming to have realized what she had said in her frustrated state. “It’s okay,” he repeated in some attempt to reassure her.

If he didn’t find her attractive before, he definitely wasn’t going to now. Sitting on his bed, arms around herself, sobbing her eyes out, wiping her eyes causing her glasses to fall off the bridge of her nose.

“I might like having sex with a guy though. I can’t be gay if I want to have sex with a guy,” Fennel attempted to reason with more than likely only herself.

“That’s not how it works, Fennel,” Colress seemed to have a far better grasp on her thoughts than she did. “Well, you’re going to have to find another guy, because it’s not going to be me,” he sat next to her again, patting her shoulder in some weak attempt to comfort her. “I think you’ll regret it, but I can’t stop you, if you think that will...help you figure yourself out.”

She sniffled for a moment, harshly wiping her eyes once again. Where did he ever get this idea about her? How dare he assume these things about her? “You thought I was…gay? The whole time you knew me?” Fennel met his look, her cheeks still stinging from her tears.

“I thought Aurea was your girlfriend for a while, actually,” he shrugged.

Fennel couldn’t help but laugh slightly at his conclusion. “I don’t think Aurea has any feelings about anything, let alone anyone,” quickly realizing what she was saying wasn’t entirely true, given what Aurea herself had said to her before she left, throwing her in to this entire disaster.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Colress reached back around to grab the bottle set on the floor behind them, Fennel grabbing it from him and taking a long swig. Who was he to make such an assumption about her? She supposed that she had known him for a while now, meeting him the year after she had met Aurea after he transferred to Castelia University from some community college out in Icirrus.

“I-I’m not gay, Colress,” she felt the need to reiterate. “I do like Aurea, but it’s...it’s different with her. She’s my best friend. Besides, I don’t even know how two girls could...do that.”

Colress’ brows raised at how she had phrased it, confused as to why Fennel’s thoughts seemed to only be on sex. He had known enough about her that she grew up rather sheltered, the most normal family life one could have in Kanto. Her coming to Unova for college truly was her first life experience outside of Kanto without her family. He wasn’t sure if she even had any friends from back home that she kept in touch with besides her parents.

If it was the case, it was the first time she was outside of the bubble of her hometown, leaving her to have her own thoughts and feelings without any influence from her parents, or what he assumed to be conservative hometown views. He felt a pang of guilt in uprooting her entire sense of being if that were the case, but maybe it would save her years of turmoil if it were the case. There was also the possibility that he was being presumptuous, only having her and Aurea’s interactions to gauge by, but it also felt like enough from his point of view. He could very well be wrong about the entire thing, though, from Fennel’s response, it certainly struck a cord with her.

Fennel thought about asking to stay at his dorm for the night, but did not think he would have her. Nor would it make any sense. She definitely didn’t want to go back to her own dorm, where the source of her problems was, and probably still remained in place, reading her book without a care in the world.

“I’m going to go, then,” she took a final swig of her drink, shaking her head at how the alcohol burned the back of her throat. She wasn’t anywhere close to drunk, but felt more on edge than she had before she drank.

To his credit, Colress looked concerned at her departure announcement, but not surprised. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know,” she huffed, realizing it were true. She wasn’t ready to go back to her dorm, but didn’t feel she had much of a choice, either.

“Let me walk you back,” he offered.

“I’m fine. I’m not drunk,” she countered.

He interpreted her decline as a bit of disdain. Despite that neither of them were attracted to the other, he still cared for her, and hope she did the same. “Let me know when you get home, then,” he offered simply, seemingly not wanting to intrude in whatever plans Fennel had for the rest of her evening, as that didn’t seem to include him anymore. “I’m here if you need to talk, alright?”

Fennel could not bring herself to look at him as she left, letting the door slam behind her, certain that the noise would of disturbed anyone close by that had been trying to sleep. Had it been that late? No, nine in the evening was much too early for anyone to be sleeping around here, she figured.

Leaving the warmth of the dorm reminded her just how chilly it was outside, the wind hitting the bare skin on her legs as briskly as she walked, to, where, exactly?

So, Colress didn’t want to fuck her, fine. She supposed the conversation insinuated a mutual lack of disinterest as it were, leaving her to pursue someone who would. Maybe it wouldn’t be today, but, she decided, having sex with a man would put any qualms she had with her sexuality to rest.

Going back to her own dorm seemed like a terrible idea, and Aurea was the last person she wanted to see right now. Where else was she to go? She had a handful of other friends she could reach out to, though quickly realized that she didn’t think any of them were back on campus yet.

It wasn’t as late out as she thought it was, realizing she actually hadn’t been with Colress all that long, even if it felt that way. She was certain he probably never wanted to speak to her again, even if, she supposed, he was coming from a place of concern.

Her feet seemed to take her to a few streets over from campus, not paying attention at all to where she was going. Maybe one of the restaurants would still be open, she could sit by herself, drink some tea until morning at some hole in the wall diner that remained opened all night.

She could hear the music and see the other people gathered in a yard from a distance. Parties raging through the holiday break weren’t unusual, but she felt she had had her holiday party adventure for the time being. However, the thought of having another drink or two would relax her in the least of it, and maybe she’d find some of her friends there. Being away from the two people she was closest with until she gathered her thoughts on her own would perhaps give her some clarity.

The music was loud, the room was dark, and people were everywhere, somehow making her feel less alone. In the moment, the possibilities of her evening seemed endless. She could drink, she could dance, she could chat with some random people. Aurea and Colress might feel out of place in a room full of strangers, but Fennel felt rather at home. No one here knew her, that she could tell, the anonymity feeling like a protection from any intrusive thoughts she might have.

Making her way through the crowded room, her eye caught a small bar area in the dark corner. The girl behind the bar asked her what she wanted, Fennel’s only answer was a shrug. She never did much know what drinks were called or even what she liked, just accepting what was given to her. Her parents would surely be disappointed if they knew this had been how she was spending her time in college, much less why she was drinking tonight to begin with.

The girl made her some sort of concoction, placing some fruit in it as a finishing touch. Whatever it was, it was very sweet, though the after taste left a lingering burning sensation after the fact. This will do the trick, she thought to herself.

She leaned against the wall for a moment, sipping her drink and catching her breath slightly, before a figure approached her.

“Hello,” he greeted her simply. She couldn’t make out his features well in the dark, the flashing colorful lights giving her a glimpse of him every few seconds. He was much taller than her, as many men her age were, with short, dark hair, which was about as descriptive as the light allowed.

“Hi,” she replied awkwardly, taking a small sip from her drink.

“Are you having a good time?” the man asked, keeping his respectful distance from her, nor could she hear him all that well with the music in the background, having to lean in closer to each other when they spoke.

“I’m fine. I’m just...thinking.”

“What are you thinking about?” This time when he leaned in, she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“It’s complicated,” Fennel turned away from him. She had come to escape her thoughts, not discuss them.

“Do you want to go somewhere quieter and talk about it?”

Maybe having someone she didn’t know weigh in on her problem was the answer she needed. He didn’t know Aurea or Colress, as far as she knew, nor was she sure if she had seen him around on campus before.

Without much of a thought as to what she was doing, she took his hand, allowing him to guide her up the stairs, away from the party, in to another room. Did he live here, or was this just convenient?

The door had barely shut behind them when he unmistakably went to kiss her, Fennel instinctively turning her neck, though he hadn’t seemed deterred by this at all, kissing her neck instead, pulling on it with his teeth slightly, realizing that he was guiding her over to the bed. Her legs felt weak, giving out when the back of her knees hit the mattress. He was still kissing and sucking on her neck, seeming to be respectful of her not wanting to kiss him on the lips, nor was she sure when she agreed to what he was currently doing.

He had stopped kissing her neck, though hovered over her, now realizing she was lying on the bed. It wasn’t how she had imagined having sex for the first time would go, but, she supposed, that was what she had wanted this evening. She had heard of people, even her friends, hooking up at parties. Why hadn’t she thought of this first? It was much easier than the uncomfortable conversation she had had with Colress.

The purpose of his pause was to remove his shirt, leaning his weight back against her on the bed. Fennel sat up enough to remove her hoodie, his hands immediately finding her breasts, grabbing them over her bra with more force than she would of liked. She wanted to swat his hands away, and just get this over with if they were going to have sex, though he seemed all too happy and eager to go along with the foreplay.

She closed her eyes, deciding that if he wanted to fuck her, he could. She made no effort to remove any more of his clothes, let alone hers, realizing she just wanted it over with.

“You good?” he heard him ask her, leaning back, Fennel thankful that she had room to breathe and that he had stopped touching her.

Surely this was not how she was supposed to feel? No, she had always imagined that the first time she had sex would be with someone she loved. What was she doing here? Why was she letting this happen? To prove, what exactly, to herself? Even going this far with Colress would not have carried any emotion to it and she supposed she’d be in the same place she was now. At least she knew Colress’ name, though. She didn’t even remember this man’s name, if he had told her at all. Nor did she think she had told him hers.

Fennel opened her eyes wide, forcing herself up right. “I-I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” she sputtered out, jumping up from the bed, grabbing her hoodie from the side of it, throwing it on as she made her way out of the room. It was too loud to know or even hear if he had called to her, not caring if he had.

Trying to make her way through the party, making her way back out on to the street, she realized she had no idea where she was. How far had she walked earlier? What direction was campus? Any sort of drunk she was had disappeared, the flashbacks of what had almost happened sobering her up quicker than any amount of sleep would have.

Sitting on the curb, she saw she had several missed calls from Aurea.

She could lie, say she spent the night at Colress’ dorm. It would save her from the embarrassment she found herself in now. Nothing had even happened and she felt terrible. But why did she care what Aurea thought?

She returned the call without thinking much of what she was going to say, her hands still shaking, feeling her heart beating out of her chest. The feeling dissipated at the sound of her friend’s voice, just a simple “Hello?”

“Can you come get me?”

“Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I don’t know,” Fennel looked around the dark street, trying to find some familiar sign, something to guide her back. She could see the lights from campus not terribly far off in the distance, and probably could make her way back over without issue. The rest of where she was seemed to blend in with the rest of the city, or campus, even. Maybe she was not as far away as thought she was even if it felt that way.

“Send me your location from your phone. I’ll come to you.”

“Aurea, you don’t need to do that, I can-” truly, why hadn’t she thought of that? She could simply use the GPS on her phone to find her way home. Somehow, if she hadn’t even thought of that, what made her think to trust herself to follow through with the directions? No, it really was best that Aurea met her here.

Fumbling with her phone even in her shaken state, she was able to send her coordinates to Aurea, somehow.

She wasn’t much dressed appropriately for how cold it was out. What if Aurea never made it to her? What if she got lost, too? No, no Aurea was much better at reading maps than she was.

Fennel had sobered up considerably in the cold, rubbing her head in some vague attempt to prevent the headache she knew would be coming. She probably looked rather silly, sitting outside on the curb outside of the party raging in the house behind her. People continued to come and go, no one appearing to pay her any mind.

The foot steps she heard from not all that far away did not alarm her in any way at first, seeming in time to the others she had ignored all evening. She looked up this time, seeing a familiar shadow even in the dim street lights. “Aurie,” she couldn’t stop herself from racing up to her, stumbling a bit as she took to her feet, wrapping her arms around her, unable to vocalize her gratitude and relying only on her actions for now.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Aurea took her arm, though realized quickly that Fennel was not as impaired on her feet as she originally thought. She didn’t seem bothered at all, probably enjoying the walk in the brisk air despite being in her pajamas.

“I’m so sorry, Aurea,” Fennel looked away from her, though tightly grasped on to her arm as they walked, moving her hand down to hold tightly on to her friend’s.

“What are you sorry for?”

This was how she knew she called the right person. Aurea passed no judgment on her, did not even ask how or why she had ended up seemingly across town, probably assuming her to be much more intoxicated than she was.

They didn’t speak much on their short walk back to the dorm. At one point Fennel had wanted to comment on how cold both of them probably were, though she hadn’t felt cold at all. In fact, it was the warmest she had felt all evening so far.

----------------------

“Do you need anything?” Aurea had taken her place back in bed, pulling her laptop back on to her lap, pulling the covers over herself, completely unnerved by anything that had happened that evening. In fact, Fennel assumed, it was probably exactly what she had been doing since she had first departed to see Colress.

“I just want to go to sleep,” though she wasn’t tired at all, it was true. She just wanted to lay down.

Fennel changed in to her pajamas, looking at her bed, then back to where Aurea sat on hers. All she wanted was to cuddle up with her again, to feel safe and warm. Without thinking much of what she was doing, she sat on the edge of the bed, close to where her friend lie.

“Do you want to get under the covers?” her roommate asked without looking up, only inching over on the bed.

Maybe she was reacting too quickly, all but throwing herself in to the bed with her, joining her under the blankets.

Fennel wasn’t sure how long she lie there, though it didn’t feel like long, when she felt her friend shift over her on the bed, settling her laptop back in it’s place against the side of her bed, and lying on her side properly. Fennel turned to face her, wrapping an arm around her, burying her face in to her shoulder. She felt Aurea bring an arm up around her, letting out a peaceful sigh.

She definitely couldn’t picture herself doing this with Colress, or the strange man from the party, or any anyone else at all, really. She could feel her friend’s breath close to her ear, a steady rhythm that would lull her to sleep eventually if she could focus on it. She felt happy, content, safe, and relaxed.

There would be plenty of time to figure out any qualms she had with deciding her feelings on who she did or didn’t want to be intimate with. But, she knew for a fact, in the moment, she felt what she imagined to be how she would feel at some point in her life with whoever she did decide to be with.

--------------------------------

“And, that’s when I realized I was gay, I guess,” Fennel shrugged, pressing her phone against her shoulder with her jaw, setting the pan in the oven and setting the timer.

“Eh, labels don’t mean shit,” Elesa matched her tone. “I mean, who cares if you’re gay, or straight, or bisexual, or anything inbetween.”

“I wish I had always felt that way about it,” Fennel mused, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I mean, I always always fine with other people that were gay. Growing up it was never something we talked about, I wasn’t even sure if it was a real thing for a long time.”

“And now you’re getting married.”

“I know, it feels so surreal,” Fennel glanced down at the ring on her finger, it only having been there for a few days by then. She had shown her friend a photo of it the night she had received it, but still would of liked to of shown it to her in person. Nor was Elesa one that cared about such things, though.

“Colress is in prison somewhere, and you’re getting married to the first girl you ever kissed. Strange events.”

“Good thing I didn’t end up with him, I guess,” she laughed. “Never in a million years would I imagine nerdy Colress getting mixed up with criminals. But, I also never in a million years thought I’d be getting married to my best friend, either.”

“It’s so cliché when people say that. Don’t say that ever again,” the gym leader groaned.

“It’s true, though,” Fennel smiled. “Maybe you’ll get to marry your best friend one day, too.”

“I’m not sure it’s for me, but I’m happy for you, really. I know you wanted to for a long time.”

Any other thoughts Fennel had on the matter were interrupted by the front door opening, hearing Aurea sigh loudly and begin kicking her shoes off. “Anyway, I’m going to go. Aurea just got home. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Without much greeting, Fennel approached her, the other woman leaning down and kissing her. “Hm, who were you talking to?”

“Elesa called, we’ve been playing phone tag for a few days. I ended up talking to her for...a long time, about silly stuff.”

“I’m glad you were able to reach her, then,” the professor hung her overcoat in the closest, setting her bag down and collapsing on the couch. “I’m really tired. How bad would it be if I just went to bed?”

“You can, but I made us dinner while I was on the phone. It’ll be done in a little bit,” Fennel joined her on the couch, pulling the blanket off of the back of it and draping it over them, feeling Aurea wrap an arm around her as she leaned against her.

“I’m just going to take a nap, then. Wake me up when it’s done, okay, babe?” the professor brought her legs up to lay down on the couch properly, resting her head on Fennel’s chest.

They weren’t in bed, but the feeling was the same. The same warm feeling she had when she laid with Aurea all those years ago in college, and all the times in between, that left her feeling safe and secure. Fennel brought a hand up to run through her hair, pieces of her tight bun that had become undone in the course of the day, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She was certain that the timer was going to go off sooner than either of them wanted it to, but for now, they would both enjoy the quiet security of simply resting together.

#my fics #femslash february #scientificshipping

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gabriel-gabdiel · 4 years ago

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Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko Chapter 19: The Birthday Gift

Keit-Ai is back, baby! This is the chapter where Tomoyuki realizes his feelings for AU Seiko.

The rest of the chapters of my original story based on a plot from 4chan are available here. Enjoy.

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Love was a variety of attitudes, states, and feelings that ranged from interpersonal affection one would have for his kin (like loving your mother) to pleasure (loving a meal).

It was an emotion of strong personal attachment or attraction to something or someone else, including yourself (self-love, which wasn't necessarily narcissism).

It could either be platonic or romantic, with platonic love referring to chaste, non-sexual affection while romantic love was all about the sum-total physical and emotional attraction to a person (not to be confused with lust).

There were others who alleged that love was a virtue that represented human affection, compassion, and kindness in one word. It was an unselfish, benevolent, and loyal concern for the good of other people.

Love also caused selfishness to happen, when one felt possessive, controlling, or otherwise jealous because of an object of affection's actions or behavior.

It could even lead to hate or feelings of betrayal from those scorned or lacking of love; feelings that were about equal in passion but far more twisted and negative.

But love itself was neither selfish nor negative.

It could even refer to actions that were affectionate and compassionate towards one's self, fellow humans, and animals.

Indeed, what exactly was love?

***

Keit-AI! Tomoyuki x Seiko

An Anime-Inspired Original Story from 4chan's /a/ Board by Abdiel

Original Idea by Hataki.

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me...)

Disclaimer: This work may reference copyrighted material, the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. It is believed that this constitutes a fair use of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. All copyrighted material referred to in this work belongs to their respective owners. All rights reserved.

***

Chapter 19: The Birthday Gift

***

Tomoyuki Yamamoto opened his watery eyes after the alarm on his bedside (it was just his cellphone on alarm mode) went off with a particularly loud rendition of a techno beat.

He groaned, yawned, and scratched his stomach, his mind still half-asleep.

He then blinked and stared blankly at the cellular phone on his hand, the gears in his mind finally turning.

'Oh,' he thought. 'It's June 24 today.'

Today was his birthday.

His mouth flat-lined like a heart monitor detecting the unbeating heart of a dead person, not knowing how to react.

He should be happy and all, but the bleary memories of yesterday came flooding back, souring his mood.

He remembered his pseudo-confession to Miku Machida, recorded by Aya Fubuki through her cellphone then played right in front of (Non-Alternate-Universe) Seiko.

Tomoyuki then recalled that he originally "confessed his love" to the Iincho (Class Rep) as a ruse to distract Kazuhito Sugata from Aya's own attempt at confessing her love to him (Kazuhito).

Damn. His arm was still a bit sore from the arm bar Sugata did to him.

He groaned.

He wanted to forget. He wanted to dig a hole in the ground then bury himself inside it for a hundred years or so.

For some reason, his fake confession embarrassed him more than the corny "sext" messages he sent AU Seiko.

Huh.

His birthday was the least of his worries.

***

At the gates of Maehara High, before the late bell rang...

Because he dreaded going to school today, Yamamoto ended up almost late again. And he knew what that meant.

"Hi hi!" greeted what-ser-face with the twin ponytails from behind him, skipping in a leisurely pace. "How ya doin', Cherry-kun?"

"Hmmm? Why did you say 'Hi' twice?" Tomoyuki asked, rubbing the rheum and tears off of his bleary eyes before yawning.

"Well, we say 'Bye' twice too, don't we?" the girl explained.

The Cherry Boy blinked before hitting his closed fist over his palm.

'Goto! This is Goto!' thought Yamamoto, finally remembering the name of the eternally late girl in front of him. Yukari Goto. From Class 2C. His first (unrequited) love.

Only she could come up with an answer so stupid but somehow make sense!

Yukari looked like she was about to say something else but she then waved at something over Tomoyuki's shoulder. "AYA-CHAN! I'm over here! Come get me!"

Goto then got conked on the head by Fubuki, the Class Rep of 2C, a minute later. "DUMMY! I'm not your mother! Stop making me fetch you and go to school on time!"

"OWIE! But Aya-chan...!" whined Yukari. "Hey, did you know I was running with toast in my mouth like in anime but I ate it so now it's gone? Also, I forgot where I was going with this."

With a harrumph, the motherly Class 2C Iincho pulled the ditz away by her ponytails, eliciting more cries of, "OW, OW, OW, OW...!"

However, as Aya did so, she faced Tomoyuki, their eyes meeting.

"Hello, Yamamoto-kun," greeted Fubuki with a single wave of her hand.

"Uh, yeah. Hey... F-Fubuki."

The late bell then rang.

"You better get going. You're already late," Aya then said with a flat expression on her face and without taking a second look at him.

Tomoyuki gulped hard.

He had half the mind to go to the school boiler room and hide there for the rest of the day. Or even go home altogether.

How would the Class 2B Iincho, Miku, react to him now?

Or how about the Class 2B Yankee, who was scary when mad and almost broke his arm? Or how about the Class 2B Amazon Queen, who had also twisted his arm to submission?

The mere thought of the dreaded confrontation made him wheeze. His asthma was acting up again.

His cellphone then rang to indicate he just got a voice mail.

"Happy birthday, Cherry Boy!" was the message he received from AU Seiko. "Still a virgin, aren't you?" she added in true Amazon Queen fashion.

Tomoyuki withheld a laugh. He texted back, "How'd you know it's my birthday? I haven't even told the you in my universe about it."

She replied, "Oh, Miku-chin was already preparing stuff for her best friend's birthday today and I caught wind of it. Help me out in getting a gift for the you in my universe, 'kay?"

"No prob," he messaged.

Then, with a puff from his inhaler, he braced himself and entered the classroom for Section 2B.

He was still late though, so the teacher had him stand in the hall with pails of buckets on each hand as punishment.

What was this, the Eighties? No one did this anymore.

Some birthday this turned out to be.

***

In between the first and second classes of the first period, once Tomoyuki was finally allowed inside the classroom...

"Hey, Cherry Boy!" was the greeting Tomoyuki received from the Seiko in his universe. "Still haven't popped your cherry yet, haven't you?" she added in true Okamoto fashion.

"Shut up, Okamoto," he fired back, concealing a grin. Was this déjà vu?

Speaking of which, he then got a text message from AU Seiko, which he wanted to read but couldn't because Non-AU Seiko was currently in front of him.

"Aren't you going to answer that, Cherry Boy?" asked the Amazon Queen.

He cleared his throat. "M-Maybe later."

He should've known better than to think that Seiko would hold a grudge against him. Maybe her good ol' best friend Miku had told her about his birthday and explained the "dust up" from yesterday?

Tomoyuki's arm ached in remembrance of the Yankee's scary outburst. He'd have to deal with the harem master sooner or later (preferably later).

However, if Kazuhito really were that into Miku, then who was he (Yamamoto) to stop their love from blossoming? He should let them develop their love.

Having Machida and Sugata end up together was something that worked to Tomoyuki's advantage. Right?

Jeez, what was Sugata worried about anyway? This was the "Cherry Boy" he was angry at. The eternal best friend. The guy with the Friend Zone Harem.

At any rate, he finally went face-to-face with Miku Machida.

"Hey, Machida! About yesterday..." he began after mustering the courage to talk to the girl he faked a love confession to.

"...."

Tomoyuki was just about to thank his best friend for covering his back and explaining everything to Okamoto when she turned away and excused herself, saying she had to use the restroom.

Now that reaction brought back memories.

Yamamoto sighed and asked Seiko, "Is Machida still mad at me for... y'know? Yesterday?"

Seiko responded with half-lidded eyes and a knowing, smug grin.

The Cherry Boy exhaled, one hand scratching the back of his head, as he looked at the floor. "B-But she still told you about... (how it was a fake love confession)!"

Okamoto nodded, still smiling.

"So I don't need to explain myself, right?"

The Amazon Queen shrugged.

"COME ON! Stop fooling around and tell me straight out what happened!" said Yamamoto.

Seiko snickered. "My, my. That's quite the spine you've developed, Cherry Boy! I never knew ya had it in ya!"

She slapped Yamamoto from what was supposed to be his back but her hand instead strayed to his buttocks, resulting in a crisp smack.

As the whole class stared back at the two, a red-faced Tomoyuki sat back down on his chair while a blushing Seiko ended up leaning on the wall and staring at her nails as though they held the secrets of the universe within them.

After their classmates shifted their attention elsewhere, the two then looked at each other for a minute before they burst out laughing.

Wow. Happy birthday to him! The Seiko of his world just reenacted one of his role-play fantasies while sexting with the Seiko from another world!

***

After recovering from their shared moment of hilarity, Tomoyuki felt a soft tap on his shoulder.

Miku had returned.

"Looks like you two lovebirds are having a good time, huh?" she said with a half-smile and a light touch on his shoulder.

"M-Machida, I...!" Yamamoto stuttered but stopped.

Maybe now wasn't the best time to bring up... stuff. From experience, whenever the Class 2B Rep was mad at him for something, he couldn't talk to her for weeks.

Perhaps it was better to give her some space and allow her to broach the subject rather than bring it up constantly. Like a true best friend would. "Let sleeping dogs lie" and whatnot.

The Iincho then smiled, adjusted her glasses, and told the Cherry Boy, "B-B-Before I forget: Happy birthday, Yamamoto-kun!"

"...Oh. OH! Uh, thanks. Shucks. Thank you for remembering," he said, bowing at her and scratching the back of his neck even though it wasn't itchy.

It was just like Miku to forget about that embarrassing display yesterday, selflessly remembering that it was Tomoyuki's birthday today without him having to bring it up.

"Wait, WHAT!? IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY? Jeez, Cherry Boy! Why didn't you tell me?" Seiko started before her outburst answered her own question.

Yamamoto could only palm his face and hide it as the rest of the class found out it was his birthday.

'Jeez, Seiko-chan. I love you, but you have a big mouth. Read the mood!'

Tomoyuki could only "grin" a wriggly looking mess of a smile and bear the resulting flood of polite halfhearted well-wishes from his classmates (that he wasn't really close friends with unlike Machida and Okamoto) when the dreaded trio of Matsuda, Ishiguro, and Kanemoto caught wind of the news.

His three original bullies. And with no Sugata to "protect" him from them too, seeing that the Yankee was now mad at him for his fake love confession to Miku.

Kazuhito was absent as usual (lucky for Tomoyuki but also unlucky for him at the same time). Then again, what was actually unusual was Sugata going to school for multiple days straight. He almost completed a whole school week this time around.

Like vultures to a carcass or crows to a cornfield without any humans or scarecrows to ward them off, the three buzzards circled the Cherry Boy. In this case, the scarecrow should've been Sugata.

'Damn it.'

"Hey, Best Friend Cherry Boy! What's up? Heard it's your birthday today! Happy birthday!"

Matsuda the huge-headed, donkey-toothed giant from the basketball club slung a lengthy forearm over Tomoyuki's shoulders, who shrugged it off.

"You don't look too happy that it's your happy birthday today, Cherry Boy," a sniggering Kanemoto took note. "Maybe you want our class to throw you a party or something?"

"Hey! Stop bullying my best friend here, Kanemoto!" Matsuda "told" off the pretty boy, choking back his laughter. "It's his birthday and he'll cry if he wants to."

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to YOOOOWCH...!" the thick-muscled gorilla man known as Ishiguro began to warble the birthday song in accented English, clapping along every line when something... or someone... stomped on his foot. "HEY! What gives, Amazon Queen!?"

"Whoops. Sorry about that. My foot slipped. My bad," said Seiko, who despite her claims to the contrary, continued to step on Ishiguro's foot, digging her heels onto the tips of his uwabaki (indoor shoe) until he laid off of Yamamoto.

Tomoyuki dabbed a handkerchief over his sweaty temple and whispered to the Class 2B female sports star, "Th-Thanks, Okamoto. But you didn't have to."

A sneering Matsuda then told Seiko, "What is this? Are you protecting your new boyfriend now? Are you cheating on Sugata?"

The Amazon Queen looked Matsuda in the eye, smiled, and asked, "What's the matter, big boy? Scared of a li'l banter in return? Jealous that even Cherry Boy can get a girlfriend before you did?"

The entire class "Oooh"-ed at that one.

A slack-jawed Matsuda turned towards his compatriots for support, but only Ishiguro remained by his side. Kanemoto had already turned his back on the pair, muttering, "Whatever. This is getting stupid. I'm leaving."

"H-Hey! Wait for me, Kanemoto!" said Ishiguro, who followed suit.

However, Matsuda wasn't quite done. To save face, he told the impassive Seiko off. "I was only kidding earlier, but you've been awfully buddy-buddy with Cherry Boy as of late. Maybe you do like him."

Even Yamamoto, who had a strong aversion about being humiliated by the mouthy basketball varsity jock, took exception to what he said. "HEY! Lay off Okamoto. We're only friends!"

Meanwhile, Seiko could only roll off her eyes and ask, "And what about you, Matsuda-san? You're only brave when you're facing off against an asthmatic or a girl. Like Cherry Boy. Or Aya-chin."

This made Matsuda flinch and almost raise his hand on the Karate Club President, only for the rest of 2B to call him out on the sensitive subject.

"LEAVE SEIKO-CHAN ALONE! She's the captain of her club. You're barely a rookie in yours!"

"That's right! What's with your high-and-mighty attitude? Just because you hang out with Kanemoto and all..."

"He's at it again! He's going to hit a girl again."

"Oh no. I knew he hit the Class 2C Rep on purpose. Yikes."

"Jeez. What a total creep. Disgusting."

"Stop being a bully, Matsuda! You almost got kicked out of school before!"

"Read the mood, you clueless jerk!"

"He should be expelled. Pick on someone your own size."

"Someone call the teacher. Matsuda is causing trouble again."

"Lay off the birthday boy! Can't he have his birthday in peace?"

"Hey, leave Okamoto and Yamamoto alone! They're the stars of the Sports Fest! We won because of them, especially Cherry Boy! Greet him a happy birthday and leave it at that!"

That last outburst was uttered by none other than a member of Kanemoto's Judo Club, a big burly guy with a tan who could give the gorilla-like Ishiguro a run for his money in terms of being "swole".

Actually, several of the voices from the crowd (aside from Amazon Queen fanboys and fangirls) were Tomoyuki's teammates during the volleyball competition.

Like the tall, goofy girl with big glasses or the silent girl that looked like a sadist (no offense to her). Or the cap-wearing soccer goalie jock that did all those last-minute saves in their volleyball match against Class 2A.

...Yeah, Tomoyuki was terrible at remembering names.

Yamamoto looked over at Machida, who smiled at him and said, "Isn't Seiko-chan amazing?"

Tomoyuki smiled back at Miku and replied, "Yeah. Yeah, she is."

With a harrumph and without a goodbye, Matsuda left the classroom.

He didn't come back even after classes resumed under Miss Aso, their short and cute female economics teacher with a funny country bumpkin accent and a forehead that was more of a "fivehead".

The Cherry Boy slipped in another "Thank you," at the Amazon Queen, who winked at him and said, "No prob. Happy birthday again, Yamamoto-kun."

"That's the best birthday present ever," he joked, which made Seiko go silent, pout, and then practically hiss at him, "Nope. That's not it. That's not your present! I'll get ya something else! I promise!"

'...O-kay?' he thought.

***

Around recess, Yamamoto finally found the time to read the text message that the AU Amazon Queen sent him outside of her perfunctory birthday greeting as he walked to the cafeteria.

"Cherry Boy! Cherry Boy! If you were Yamamoto, what kind of birthday gift would you want me to give you?" AU Seiko texted.

Well, well, well. Great minds thought alike. That was two in a row.

"Sex," he joked.

"How about I give him a swift kick to nuts so hard even you'd feel the pain in your dimension?" she replied tongue-in-cheek. Or at least he hoped it was a tongue-in-cheek reply.

"Sure, but I don't think the other me will appreciate that," he texted back.

"COME ON, Cherry Boy! Aren't we supposed to share our deepest, darkest secrets with each other to make our AU selves fall for us? Get with the program!"

"Don't ask me! I don't know what I'd want for a present. Food, I guess? Maybe a date with you?" was his attempt at coyness.

"D-Date!?" Yes, she actually typed that out, including the implied stutter. "Look, Cherry Boy. The Yamamoto-kun I know was just mad at me for calling him Cherry Boy too, so don'cha think a date's a bridge too far for us to cross right now?"

"...Fine, I guess. I'd love to have a date with you though. Or the Okamoto in my universe," he replied.

"Then ask me out!" Seiko messaged. "The other me, I mean!"

"But you... the other you... already dumped me several times! Gave me a black eye the first time! And that one time when I thought we had a date, it wasn't actually a date!"

"Well, fine! But if I were her, I'd want you to ask me out!"

"You're not her though! Not exactly. You and her have been through different... stuff," he replied, remembering how he hid from her the fact that at the end of the Sports Fest volleyball tournament, Non-AU Seiko reminded him of why he fell in love with her in the first place.

The way she looked so cool as she almost rallied a comeback against Class 2A by her own stubbornness. The assist he did for that final spike that almost made it had the Amazon Queen not pushed herself hard in the relay, leaving her far too exhausted to get that point.

An experience he didn't share with AU Seiko, who seemed (or was actually) so far away from him right now. Like he was talking to the actual Seiko's shadow. Or reading messages she sent months ago.

A different person altogether.

AU Seiko was still Seiko but different. Could he really be satisfied with conversing with an apparition of his crush when the real thing was right in front him, talking to him, and actually acknowledging his presence for once?

How could a distant version of Seiko who was so far away he could sext with her without consequences the next day even compete? He might as well have talked to a chatroom bot, imagining it was the Seiko of his world.

As cruel a description of AU Seiko as that might sound.

"...Y'know what I mean," he finished his message lamely.

"No, I don't. Call me and tell it straight to my face, Cherry Boy."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, mumbling under his breath, "For the last time, Amazon Queen. I'm not going to ask you out on a date on my birthday," while typing the same message to Okamoto's other self.

He then bumped into the worst person he could bump into while saying those words.

Seiko Okamoto herself, standing there in all her sporty, tomboyish glory.

"O-Oh. H-Hey, Okamoto. Wassup?"

Oh dear. Did she overhear him?

"What's this about a birthday date, Cherry Boy?"

Shit. 'She looks pissed,' Tomoyuki thought, his mind going into overdrive to find the right words to say to clear up the confusion.

"Um..."

His mind went blank at the mere thought of them dating, though.

Shit, shit, shit. 'Say something, you idiot!' he told himself, flinching as the taller girl's hand hovered over his face, remembering the black eye he got from her.

Stupid AU Her. Now Non-AU Her was going to get the wrong idea!

"...So you wanna go on a date with me? Fine. You got a date! With me! For lunch! H-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, B-BAKA (D-DUMMY)!"

What.

Wait, what!?

That was the last thing Tomoyuki expected Seiko to say.

But she still said it before grabbing hold of his hand and leading him away to the nearest table (just like "good ol' times" when they were on the run from his own bullies).

***

After they've bought and/or brought their food with them to the lunchroom, the smiling bespectacled (Section 2B) Class Rep awaited Tomoyuki and Seiko on one of the tables of the cafeteria, waving her hand at them.

"Yamamoto-kun! Seiko-chan! Over here!" she beckoned them to come join her.

"H-Hey, Machida!" stuttered the Cherry Boy, waving weakly back at his girl best friend.

Wow. Small world. Or at least, small school.

"Oh. It's you, Miku-chin." The Amazon Queen deflated, her shoulders slumping down in defeat(?).

Tomoyuki exhaled in relief, (reluctantly) letting go of Seiko's hand. "Oh, so that's what you meant by a lunch date! I was worried there for a second..."

"...L-Look, if you want, we can have a d-d-dinner date instead," stammered Seiko, looking less statuesque than usual with her drooping gait and twiddling fingers. As though she were a sad giraffe.

Yamamoto patted the taller girl on the shoulder (something he couldn't even imagine doing just a month ago) and said, "You don't have to force yourself to date me as your idea of a birthday present, Okamoto. I appreciate the thought, though."

The Amazon Queen pouted, which made the Cherry Boy's heart go aflutter and his body... stiffen. Harden. Um, freeze. Yeah, freeze.

The three classmates then sat together at one table, just like usual.

Apparently, in the heat of the moment, Okamoto forgot that they usually ate lunch together at that table anyway. So much for their "date" on his birthday.

Yamamoto shook his head. He was taking the song lyric, "It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to" too literally.

Tomoyuki then decided to take things positively and pretend that he was Archie Andrews, with Seiko being his Betty Cooper and Miku being his Veronica Lodge.

Or maybe not, since the Student Council President Mana Otonashi was more the rich girl type like Ronnie than Class President Machida, who had no equivalent Archie Comics character (a female Dilton Doiley, perhaps?).

Maybe his other self had more of a Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo type of romance filled with fiancées and suitors galore? No wait. That was more Kazuhito's shtick with his in-real-life harem.

Yeah, and Seiko was Sugata's Akane with they way the two bickered like an old married couple.

...Dammit, he was getting sidetracked. At least in the parallel world where AU Seiko resided, AU Tomoyuki had a Seiko and a Miku who was in love with him.

It was as if AU Tomoyuki had taken Kazuhito's place as a harem anime lead.

How happy a birthday that Yamamoto must've been having. Meanwhile, the Tomoyuki that was having such jealous thoughts had a Miku who friendzoned him as soon as they met and a Seiko who was in love with her childhood friend.

Like a protagonist in one of those netorare (cuckold) or NTR anime shows.

Dammit, he was born in the wrong dimension!

But he really should stop his bad habit of calling his unrequited or rejected feelings for Miku (or any other girl) as ending up in the Friend Zone.

The Friend Zone was as stupid a concept as the Tezuka Zone from the "Prince of Tennis" manga.

The Tezuka Zone was a technique that somehow made the tennis ball spin in such a way that it seemed like it was getting sucked back to Kunimitsu Tezuka, the owner of the impossible move, like metal to a magnet.

The Friend Zone was a concept made up to make socially awkward people feel better about the fact that someone didn't like them back. That they wanted their beloved to be happy.

However, as Miku reminded him after rejecting him as soon as he first confessed to her that he wanted to be more than just friends, 'If someone doesn't like you, stop chasing after them.'

He remembered the 2B Class Rep's epic Anti-Friend-Zone spiel like it was yesterday.

She told him that no girl could ever be attracted to his sadness and insecurity. No girl could ever come to save him from his cruel life like in movies and anime.

No woman would ever spend time with a guy who couldn't even get his act together.

Also, men weren't entitled to having sex with a girl by being "nice" to her in exchange for sex. As though their niceness had a hidden agenda.

This was the truth. The only way out for Tomoyuki's "Cherry Boy" status was to improve himself.

Yamamoto could either make the best out of what he had or live the kind of life he had right now without complaints of having no girlfriend.

He might not be the handsomest or fittest kid in Class 2B or Maehara High, but he could still improve himself. Learn to not be as socially awkward as he was durin first year. Dress better. Go running to improve his breathing capacity through cardio.

Machida insisted that even though he'd been rejected time and time again by many a pretty girl, he had the chance to get a girlfriend by becoming a better version of himself.

She told him to stop acting like an edgelord teenager, wallowing in his own misery.

According to her, no girl found this appealing, and the closest anime/manga example of an attractive edgelord was Uchiha Sasuke, who had dark good looks to match all his brooding and DARKNESS.

In real life, women wanted physically and mentally strong men who were confident and healthy the same way men loved beautiful and lively women with personality who weren't crazy screaming banshees when the going got tough.

Yamamoto really did owe Machida one when it came to helping him stop acting like the lonely virgin loser creep he was in the past that earned him the nickname "Cherry Boy".

Indeed, it wasn't, "Getting a girlfriend will make my life great," but instead, "Having a great life will get me a girlfriend!" That was the mindset he should have going for him.

He understood that. He got the concept.

Easier said than done.

Even now, there were still times when he felt like he was being friendzoned nonetheless, even though he understood no woman owed a man love and affection after he "went out of his way" to be nice to her.

It took him quite sometime until he accepted his best friend Miku as nothing more than a friend.

***

Tomoyuki's brain then snapped back to reality.

Grinning from ear to ear, Miku greeted, "Happy birthday, Yamamoto-kun!"

He scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Thanks, Iincho. You already greeted me, though."

"I don't exactly have a birthday present for you, but..." she trailed off, and he immediately waved off her hesitation, reassuring, "I didn't ask for one! It's perfectly fine! See, even Okamoto didn't get me anything!"

This led Seiko to squawk, "HEY! You were the one mumbling about birthday dates and whatnot! I actually humored your request!"

"Okay, okay! That was MY BAD! I'm sorry, Amazon Queen," he said with a chuckle.

Then, as he chewed on a bite of his curry pan and downed a can of ice coffee, he felt goose bumps rise all over his forearm. At the thought of Okamoto willingly going out on a date with him. Wimpy ol' him.

Who would've thought?

The Cherry Boy spared Seiko... the real flesh-and-blood Non-AU Seiko that he could talk to in real life instead of just on the phone... a glance.

Seiko's sparkling eyes met with his. "Whatsamatter, Cherry Boy? Is there something on my face? Food? A booger, perhaps?"

"Uh, no. Nothing." He looked away from her and exhaled.

'Dammit, she looks so gorgeous in real life,' he thought, remembering weeks of sexting and exchanging lewd pictures with AU Seiko. With no payoff.

Because the Seiko he could touch and meet wasn't in love with him. She was right in front of him but she wasn't the Amazon Queen that was actually in love with him.

'Focus, Cherry Boy! Focus!' he told himself using that embarrassing nickname of his to snap his head back to reality. 'Eyes on the prize.'

Miku coughed primly, squirming on her seat a little. "Anyway, instead of a tangible gift, I want to give you food for thought." She looked down and twiddled her thumbs. "Just like old times."

Tomoyuki himself looked at his own twiddling thumbs. 'That's right. We used to have a lot of these weird talks before I managed to get into Seiko's inner circle.'

"Is this like the zombie cat thing?" he asked. He remembered that strange conversation he had with the 2B Class Rep about some guy and his zombie cat who was alive and dead at the same time and how it somehow tied to multiple universes (he personally didn't get it).

"Oh, so you do remember our talk about Schrödinger's Cat!" Miku giggled and clapped. "My birthday present for you is kind of like that, but this time it's alleged proof that multiple universes exist. It's the perfect thing to add to your screenplay about lovers from parallel universes."

Tomoyuki then turned to see Seiko looking back and forth at him and the shy Miku. He half-expected her to wink and give him a thumb's up sign in approval of what she thought was progress between his "romance" with Machida.

However, this time around, she only stared blankly at them. Like the third wheel in their group.

The prospect of making Okamoto jealous made his heart skip a beat, only for him to beat the feeling down, traumatized by his presumptuousness with his first (unrequited) crush, Yukari Goto.

At best, Seiko was probably just bored. Or confused. 'I certainly am.'

"I have no idea what you two are talking about," interjected Okamoto with a mouthful of hamburger before almost choking and washing the food stuck in her throat down with a can of soda.

Yamamoto then blinked. "So what is it you wanted to talk about? A dog that exists in the fourth dimension or something?"

The bespectacled girl smiled, her hands forming a steeple in front of her while the light of the nearby bulb made her glasses glint. "Not exactly. I'm talking about the Mandela Effect."

Tomoyuki and Seiko exchanged glances at each other then back at Miku.

"The what effect?" asked Okamoto flatly. "Is it like Axe Effect?"

"The Mandela Effect," Machida repeated with a pout, nibbling on her own melon pan like an embarrassed cartoon mouse.

She then gulped her food down, steeled herself, and searched for the right words in her mind to simplify her explanation of the speculative science concept.

"It's named after Nelson Mandela. You know who that is, right? Yamamoto-kun?" she practically pleaded.

"Uh, it's that African Political Figure guy, I guess. Right?" asked Tomoyuki.

"Right! Close enough! Do you remember him being the first black president of South Africa in 1994 after being released from prison?" she asked. "Well, if you thought that, you'd be wrong! Mandela died in prison in the Eighties!"

The two tilted their heads to the side in unison, which made Miku palm her face.

"...Okay, here's a better example. You know how the Berenstain Bears children's books are spelled with an s-t-a-i-n?" Machida brought up. "Well, they aren't! They're actually spelled with an s-t-e-i-n! They're the Berenstein Bears!"

The pair... who both had passing grades in English proficiency tests at best... shrugged at the 2B Class Rep. She might as well have brought up how a German or French book title was spelled differently in another dimension. They honestly had no idea.

"Okay, fine!" yelped Miku with a harrumph that still appeared adorable on her. Like a puppy harrumphing. "You know the Kurosawa Akira movie known as Ran?"

The two nodded because both have heard about the movie. After all, Tomoyuki was a cinemaphile and Seiko loved samurai and yakuza movies.

"Well, Ran never existed beyond storyboards that Kurosawa himself painted meticulously! Many people swear up and down that the movie exists, but it doesn't. It was never made or funded!"

"Ooooh!" chorused Tomoyuki and Seiko, with the former stating, "But I could've sworn he made that movie! I remember seeing its trailer! It was supposed to star Katsu Shintaro! The guy who played Zatoichi!"

Okamoto chimed in, "No, no! That's the guy who played Takeda Shingen's Kagemusha in that Kurosawa movie about him! The one funded by Hollywood directors! I have that on DVD!"

"Kagemusha" literally translated to "Shadow Warrior", but in this context it meant "Doppelganger" or "Body Double".

"No, no. That's a popular misconception. Rumor has it that George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola were interested in funding Kagemusha after it went overbudget, but that ended up false and Kurosawa-sensei instead cut several scenes from his original screenplay to save money," corrected Yamamoto.

"Oh okay. My bad," said the Amazon Queen with blinking eyes and a shrug. She then theorized, "Wait, maybe people kept mistaking Kagemusha for Ran, that's why they thought Ran was an actual movie!"

"Perhaps, Seiko-chan. Perhaps." After finally getting the reaction she wanted from her friends, Miku smirked, looking like a smug, naughty child. "Or maybe a huge amount of people somehow had collective false memories because these memories weren't false at all!"

"What'choo talkin' 'bout, Iincho?" asked Seiko with pursed lips and narrowed eyes before covering her mouth to suppress a burp.

Machida wagged her finger and said, "I told you! The Mandela Effect! Proof that other dimensions exist! We 'misremember' things because we're actually crossing dimensions. The thing we originally remembered is true in another dimension but untrue in the dimension we're inhabiting!"

She turned towards Tomoyuki. "Isn't that fascinating? Isn't it the perfect thing you can use in that screenplay you're trying to write, Yamamoto-kun?"

Indeed, the Cherry Boy couldn't help but cup his chin with his forefinger and thumb. "Y-Yeah, that might work. I can imagine it now. What you misremember in one world can end up true in another."

In fact, Yamamoto had long talks with AU Seiko on that very subject, from pro wrestling to websites to differences in video game console names. "Thanks, Machida. This is the best birthday gift ever!"

"I'm so happy!" cheered Miku, who almost grabbed hold of Tomoyuki's hands but stopped short, so their hands sort of hovered over each other as though they were holding an invisible ball.

"Where'd you hear such a tall tale anyway?" asked Tomoyuki.

"Where else? I read it on the Internet," said Miku.

"Hooray for the Internet, then! INTERNET BANZAI!" cheered Yamamoto.

Seiko frowned (...Or pouted? Maybe that was just Yamamoto's wishful thinking), and stuck her tongue out at the two best friends. "Jeez. You two space cadets have blasted off into your own world, I see. Don't forget to write, ya NERDS!"

The two blushed and "let go" of each other's hands that weren't even in contact with each other in the first place.

***

Later, when the Cherry Boy finally had time to check his messages (after quickly browsing the Internet to read up on Akira Kurosawa's "Ran" and the Class Rep's "Mandela Effect" theory on EBO)...

"But my other self still taught you how to play volleyball anyway, right? If a date won't work, then ask her to hang out with you instead!" was the last message Yamamoto got from AU Seiko prior to his lunch "date" with the Amazon Queen of his universe.

"What about you? How will you get the Tomoyuki in your world to take notice of you?" was the message he was about to send her had the real Seiko not "interrupted" their chat earlier.

The unsent message was saved on his phone. He decided to finally send the message now.

Instead of responding through text, AU Seiko gave him a call.

"...About time you wrote back." He could hear the sullenness of the other Okamoto's voice from the other line.

"What's the matter, Amazon Queen?"

"I offered you... the other you... a date and he refused! How could you?"

"...Ouch. Sorry, I guess?"

Huh. Déjà vu. The same thing happened with him and Non-AU Seiko.

Perhaps their parallel worlds were merging, just like how they tended to according to Machida and her cockamamie theory about how movie misquotes and common misconceptions were memories from another dimension.

"Why did you refuse me, Cherry Boy?" AU Seiko asked Tomoyuki.

"I guess my other self is... um..." Okay, so why did he refuse Non-AU Seiko again? "Yeah, he did it because he thought it was the honorable thing to do and he probably considered the help you gave him in the Sports Fest as the perfect birthday gift already."

"Ugh. You two and your martyr complex. Honestly."

"Huh? Come on, man. How is that being a martyr?"

AU Seiko sighed. "Are you sure he refused because of that? Maybe Yamamoto-kun refused because I was being too pushy. Maybe I offended him again! You know how sensitive he gets! You're him!"

Tomoyuki thought for all of two seconds and said, "Nah! You're always pushy anyway, so what's the difference now and your pushiness from before?"

"Shut up, you," was her reply to the backhanded reassurance. "I'm still lacking a birthday present for your other you, Cherry Boy."

This got Yamamoto thinking. The Mandela Effect was still fresh in his mind, coupled with the hours upon hours' worth of interesting differences between his world and AU Seiko's world.

"Say, how do you spell 'Berenstein Bears' in your dimension? With an '–ein' like in Einstein or an '-ain' like in 'Spain'?" he asked Seiko.

He got the expected response of, "What are you, my English teacher? I have no clue how to spell that. Who in the world are Berenstain Bears? Some sort of gaijin (foreign) mascot?"

"Okay, no, scratch that." What was the example Machida gave him again? Oh yeah, Akira Kurosawa's Ran. The film that was never made in his world. Could it be...?

"Here in my dimension, we have an urban legend of Kurosawa making a historical epic funded by George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppolla. However, when I researched about it on the Internet, it ended up being untrue. There was never any film like that."

AU Okamoto paused. "...So you're asking me if this movie exists in my world?"

"Yep," said Tomoyuki. "Since in your world, Michael Jackson became white, Kurt Cobain died, Mayweather and Pacquiao have yet to fight, and Japan is suffering from some sort of financial crisis since the Nineties."

"I see where you're going, but I have no idea how this solves my problem of getting Cherry Boy a gift for his birthday. Do we have time to chat about this?" she asked.

"Just research about it on EBO (Encyclopedia Britannica Online)."

"You mean Google."

"Google exists here too."

"Oh right. Your world's Wikipedia, then?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just look it up on your universe's EBO."

"All right, all right. I'm going to the library now! Happy?"

After a few minutes, she concluded, "So Ran does exist in our world! Huh. Old movie. Made in 1985. I wasn't even born yet when that came out. How about that."

Tomoyuki couldn't help but gasp at the revelation.

"Yes, of course! It makes perfect sense," he said, his cheeks feeling tight from all the grinning he was doing. "After writing the screenplay for Ran, Kurosawa couldn't get this film made at all because of the lack of willing producers! Kagemusha had a troubled production. The only evidence of Ran's planned existence was his detailed painted storyboards about it."

His breathing went even faster. He could barely contain himself. If he breathed any faster, he might end up having an asthma attack. Or a heart attack. "Aren't you amazed, Amazon Queen? Machida was correct! The Mandela Effect is true! It's confirmed!"

"The what effect?" she asked.

"Long story," he answered.

He could almost "hear" the blank stare that she couldn't direct at him. "Well, now what? Should I buy Cherry Boy a copy of this film or something?"

He then asked, "Was Kagemusha ever made in your world too?"

"Yep, we have that movie too."

"And was it funded by George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola when it got short on funds?"

"Who are those people?" She continued reading the Wikipedia article for Kagemusha. "Wow. The guys who made Star Wars and The Godfather funded this film? That's kinda cool. Kurosawa-sensei really is a world-renowned director!"

"And it starred Katsu Shintaro, right?"

"...Seriously, Cherry Boy. I don't know their names!"

"Fine. The guy who played Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman."

"OOOH, he was that guy, huh? No, it was some other guy."

"What other guy?" Tomoyuki asked.

"Uh... let's see here... I'll check on Google. His name is Nakadai Tatsuya. It says here the Zatoichi guy pissed Kurosawa-sensei off and was fired from the job."

"Really? Unosuke from Yojimbo played the Kagemusha and Shingen? But it was supposed to be...!"

From there, AU Seiko's tone changed, rising up in pitch. She almost sounded downright girly, for once.

"Hey, I remember renting this movie out while searching for manly samurai films to binge watch! It was so cool! I first saw it on TV, but they cut some scenes to censor the violence, so I just bought the DVD!"

After hearing the silence from the other line, the other Okamoto prompted, "Cherry Boy? Earth to Cherry Boy? Do you copy? Over."

Feeling like Sherlock Holmes or Conan Edogawa when he was about to deduce the identity of the culprit or solve a mystery, Yamamoto finally figured everything out.

"In our world, Kagemusha underperformed at the box office because Kurosawa-sensei went overbudget, was forced to stick with Zatoichi even after he pissed him off by bringing a camera crew to record how he directed his films, and he ended up with a disjointed movie because he had to cut out several key scenes from his original screenplay to save money. And Ran was never made in this universe because Kagemusha flopped!"

"...Wow," said AU Seiko.

"I know," wheezed Tomoyuki before taking a puff from his asthma inhaler.

"Well, that's great and all, but I still have no idea what to give Cherry Boy... I mean, the other Cherry Boy... for his birthday present."

"Talk to him about Kagemusha and Ran," said Yamamoto. "Talk to him about the same stuff we just talked about. Take it from me, he'll love the idea of an alternate world where Ran was never made because the makers of Star Wars and The Godfather weren't able to fund the complete Kagemusha script. Oh, and pitch to him what it would've been like to have Zatoichi star as the Kagemusha and Shingen!"

"But I only watched Kagemusha! I haven't seen Ran," complained a(n uncharacteristically) pensive AU Okamoto with what Tomoyuki presumed was an unseen lip bite.

"Perfect! Then invite him on a date to watch Ran with you! At one of those theaters showing old matinees or at your apartment's TV through DVD!" said Tomoyuki.

"Baka! He just rejected a date from me!" she protested, sounding the girliest he'd ever heard her speak. She almost seemed like she was Non-AU Seiko talking about Non-AU Sugata (when Sugata wasn't around) with how high her voice pitch was right now.

"Trust me, it's the best present he'll ever get. A date with you and the chance to watch Ran again, which is probably a masterpiece. I'm certainly jealous of him."

***

Satisfied with how his conversation with the other Seiko turned out, a smiling Tomoyuki sauntered towards his shoe locker with confidence in every step.

His power walk turned into a moonwalk shuffle after he spied with his bugged-out eyes one Kazuhito "Yankee" Sugata. Looking around for something. Or someone. Someone who hadn't popped his cherry yet, for example.

Apparently, the Yankee wasn't as absent as the Cherry Boy had previously hoped.

'Shit. Sugata's actually here? But it's already dismissal time. Why'd he even bother coming to school?' were the thoughts running through Yamamoto's head as he turned around and began practicing the better part of valor.

He ended up bumping into a certain raven-haired (dragon) lady. The Class Representative of 2C and the best friend of his first unrequited crush (or even first crush ever): Aya Fubuki.

"...Ow."

"Ah! Fubuki! Sorry about that!"

Aya turned around, her long hair twirling after her, the scent of her perfume wafting into Yamamoto's nostrils. Reminding him of Mongolian barbecue and yakiniku (grilled meat), of all things.

Not that she smelled like meat, mind you. She was as fragrant as a summer blossom.

All the same, he ended up between a rock and a hard place.

He then remembered how Sugata almost broke his arm yesterday, so he appended that he was instead between a steep cliff and a sheer drop to his doom, with jagged sharp rocks below.

So he took his chances with the cliff, since he was used to being verbally abused by said cliff. Also, he had higher chances of survival there.

"H-Hey, Fubuki! N-Nice weather we're having, huh?" he greeted, not knowing what else to say to his tsundere (or perhaps bipolar) tormentor for most of his first year in high school.

He winced, expecting a verbal beat down from the 2C Ice Queen, only to be greeted back by a smiling visage he thought he'd never see again from Aya.

Because ever since their confrontation regarding their "rumored" dates, she never smiled back at him that way (even her smile when she "forgave" him for his transgressions looked different).

Another wave of nostalgia then hit the Cherry Boy like a tsunami after Aya batted her eyelids at him, her face facing downwards but her eyes looking upwards at him.

She was always so cute. It reminded him of why he asked her out in the first place.

Her long legs. Her long hair that she wore like a cape. Her fiery temper that belied her actual sweetness. Like the spicy meals they had on their dates she refused to acknowledge ever happened.

She then said softly to him, "Long time, no see, Yamamoto-chan," with a smile and a wink before turning around and skipping away.

He froze, a flood of memories of dates at yakiniku restaurants bursting to the surface of his mind. All because she called him by a name that she never called him when he first confronted her about all the dates she denied they had.

'So she remembers all our dates after all...?' Yamamoto thought while staring at how Fubuki's svelte figure shrunk into the distance as she traveled to the end of the hall.

This was before he turned around and saw a certain someone he intended to avoid, evade, and escape all this time: Kazuhito Sugata.

Of course! Just his luck, right?

He lost his grip with the cliff and he was about to have a "date" with the valley below.

Tomoyuki pivoted to the other direction (or on the same direction where Aya made her exit), thinking he could pretend he didn't see Kazuhito at all and escape his fate.

He resisted a shudder after Sugata grabbed hold of his shoulder from behind. Ah. His fate was sealed.

"Cherry Boy! Happy birthday!" said Kazuhito before he gave Tomoyuki a friendly slap on the back that almost had him coughing up phlegm.

"...Eh?" Yamamoto blabbered after recovering, hearing the Yankee say the last thing he expected him to say. "Uh... thanks?" he added, his eyes narrowed and blinking, his body stock-still, waiting for Seiko's crush to, um, crush him. Pun unintended.

10 long seconds passed them by. The Cherry Boy then dared to ask, "Weren't you mad at me?"

Sugata flashed Yamamoto a cocksure grin and wrapped an arm around the shorter boy's neck, making him flinch. "Yeah, 'coz I thought you were being a two-faced snake in the grass, saying you'd play matchmaker for the Class Rep, only to end up in love with her too."

Tomoyuki attempted to shrug off Kazuhito's invasion of his personal space but couldn't, which prompted him to ask, "W-What changed your mind?"

The Yankee responded, "Iincho told me the truth. That you already confessed to her before and she turned you down hard, saying she can never see you as anything more than a friend."

This made Yamamoto's shoulders slump down low enough to escape Sugata's grasp. "Ehehehe. Yeah, that sounds about right."

Kazuhito scratched his cheek. "She also said something about you making that confession as revenge for the joke we pulled while you and Amazon Queen were eavesdropping on us, but from what I remember, didn't you interrupt the other Iincho from 2C from saying something?"

Tomoyuki wiped the bullets of sweat on his forehead. "I dunno whatcha talkin' bout, Sugata," before taking out his inhaler to get a puff of medicine from it.

The last thing Tomoyuki wanted was for Seiko's crush to figure out that Fubuki had a thing for him, rendering his embarrassing and traumatizing confession/distraction to Machida moot.

"HEY! Cherry Boy! Are you okay?" asked Kazuhito, who shook Tomoyuki's shoulders for attention. "You look... pale. Was it something I said, dude?"

Yamamoto forced a smile. "No, I'm all right. I just had... flashbacks, that's all."

More like shell-shock, but of course he wouldn't want to exaggerate.

Surely, World War II veterans would have a word or two with him about using the word "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" over something as trivial as middle school romance or high school blues.

Thank goodness the Yankee was so dense that he still hadn't realized that Aya was about to confess to him around that time.

Even better, thank goodness Sugata wasn't throttling him at the moment!

***

Wow. What a day his birthday turned out to be. Holy crap.

Feeling a bit chipper in terms of mood for a change, Yamamoto worked his entire shift at the convenience store without once feeling sorry for himself for having a boss that didn't greet him happy birthday because, well, that resume listing his birthday was for archival purposes only.

He did treat himself to a cupcake then went outside and blew an imaginary candle flame over it before eating it.

Okay, now he felt kind of sorry for himself.

But he accomplished so much throughout the day though.

He talked to Sugata and "made amends" with him (or maybe the other way around), saw a glimpse of the "old" Fubuki he used to date, got his AU self a date with AU Seiko, Miku forgave him for false-flag confessing to her and almost making her repeat her Friend Zone Spiel to him, and (most importantly in his mind), the Seiko in his world invited him for a date as his birthday present (a pity date, but still).

He had half the mind to text Megumi Minagata as well, but he decided to let sleeping dogs lie.

Him bragging to her that he got one girl down from Kazuhito's harem would probably lead her to tell him he was stupid and that he was asking for heartbreak if ever Seiko decided to finally confess to Sugata.

Maybe she was right but it was better than the limbo he was in right now.

The two best friends Yukari Goto and Aya Fubuki were finally out of the harem picture. Only Miku Machida and (maybe) Mana Otonashi left to go. Soon, Sugata and Okamoto would have their crossroads.

Then maybe, if Seiko were rejected by her childhood friend, then she'd look at Tomoyuki the same way she looked at Kazuhito. Or the same way her AU self looked at his AU self.

If.

He then got a text from AU Seiko, no doubt tripping all over herself in thanks for his deductive reasoning that led to her super-duper gift to his AU self.

The smug Tomoyuki smiled even before he opened his mail.

He himself was grateful for how AU Seiko served as his inner window into the mind of the actual Seiko. Now all he had to do was turn actual Seiko into AU Seiko.

A Seiko who was... in love... with...?

His thoughts stopped short upon realizing what sort of mail he had just opened.

A video. A cam rip of something.

He must've opened the attachment by accident. He scrolled back to the original message. It read:

"Hey, AU Cherry Boy. You were right. My Cherry Boy couldn't stop talking about the making of Kagemusha and Ran all throughout his birthday when I told him we'd have a movie date. I couldn't keep up with him. Kind of felt sorry how my present for a date blew Miku-chi's present. Something regarding a postcard about the Friend Zone or something? Was it an in-joke between the two of them? Now she's kind of giving him the cold shoulder. Did she friendzone him or something? But still, thanks for the tip! It means a lot to me. I'll straighten things out with the two of them though, I promise!"

'That's my girl,' he thought. This was vintage Seiko. Unwilling to trample the happiness of others for her own happiness.

His heart couldn't decide whether to sink or jump out of his mouth at the post script of her message.

"P.S. Happy birthday, AU Cherry Boy. Don't think I forgot about you! I also heard how excited you are about Ran, since it doesn't exist in your world. I owe you a lot in getting me and Cherry Boy together. So here's my thanks. My birthday present to you."

Gulping, Tomoyuki finally opened the attached video and watched it, his hands shaking in excitement. And other indescribable feelings.

He watched the whole thing. All one minute and fourteen seconds of it.

It was... Ran. Or rather, the trailer for Ran. A movie that wasn't supposed to exist in his universe. Just like how a Seiko that was in love with (the other) him didn't (yet) exist in his reality either.

It looked like Ran was obviously on some sort of soundstage (must've been a dream sequence). Like the ones found in Tokusatsu (Special Effects) children shows.

It didn't look hokey though. In fact, it left Yamamoto breathless. All those colors. Those powerful images.

However, the way everything was filmed, staged, and presented had the earmarks and fingerprints of Akira Kurosawa. His sublime masterpiece that didn't exist in his universe but did in AU Seiko's universe.

A nonexistent movie whose trailer he alone in his universe had watched. And for AU Seiko... for that Seiko... she probably didn't even think twice or thought that it was a big deal at all for her to do.

She didn't even realize how special that video she just recorded off of her phone from YouTube or Nico-something was. She was completely clueless of its significance.

He smiled. "That idiot."

Her careless kindness had charmed him once again.

A teardrop fell on the screen of Tomoyuki's phone then rolled off its screen.

He then felt a wave of shame wash over him for even thinking that AU Seiko was but a shadow or doppelganger of the Seiko of his universe. Her "Kagemusha".

How dare he think that way. For shame.

This AU Seiko from another universe... there was no one like her. Not just in his universe but hers as well. Or maybe even in the multiverse.

Every last existing Seiko from different universes could be an exact replica of her and she'd still stand out. Because she was the one Seiko in all existence that he...!

More tears dropped on the screen, and he had to close the flip phone and wipe his eyes dry.

At this moment, he realized the tragedy of contacting Seiko's other self. A version of her he could never have. A version of her that her Non-AU self could never be.

Wait. This was it.

This was what love was. True love.

And it hurt so much.

This aching feeling of longing for someone above anyone else, including himself, for someone so carelessly considerate as AU Seiko... his Seiko... couldn't be mistaken for anything else other than love.

This was the best possible birthday present he could get from her.

***

To Be Continued...

The birthday arc is done and over with. Now let's move on to other important arcs.

As a side note, the Mandela Effect meme existed way earlier in Tomoyuki's universe than in our universe (Seiko's universe).

Farewell, Abdiel

#keit-ai #finds a way #fictionpress.com #tomoyuki x seiko #keit愛 #akira kurosawa #ran #kagemusha #what is love?#baby don't hurt me

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justtextmeoppa · 7 years ago

Text

❝ Ordinary life ❞

Plot: Just an ordinary day in the life of Min Yoongi and his adorable daughter.

Words count: 2,3k+

Genre: Fluff, fluff, fluff

For anon, I hope you like it! - M.

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner! ♥

"APPA!"

The shrill of the little princess of Min House filled her father's room, too busy trying to correct the tests he had decided to take home. The worst decision he ever made, since his daughter distracted him every two seconds even for the smallest things.

Far away the times of the Bangtan, where he was free and had realized every single goal that had been set. And he had gained a family, which had always been close to him; especially in the most difficult period of his life.

"APPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPA!"

A sigh came out of his thin lips, closed in a desperate line and sign of how really tired he was Yoongi at that time, as he turned towards the little one who had begun to run for the room with a towel tied around her small and delicate body.

"What's going on?" He asked gently, rising from the chair and dropping on his knees and observing the big and expressive eyes of his daughter.

"Sejun, what's going on?" He asked again, while the smile of the child warmed his heart as always.

Sejun was his greatest joy and the reason he had decided to leave the BTS, he knew that there were other motives behind by all the others, but fortunately, that event hadn't destroyed their relationship; Indeed he had succeeded in making it even more unique.

Maybe it was just her to tie them even more. That little hurricane of energies was the only one to be able to smooth out any divergence that from time to time was created between them.

"Uncle Hobi!"

The smile didn't leave Yoongi's lips, who simply nodded and squeezing her into his arms. He rose and headed to his desk, where he remembered to have seen his phone hidden beneath the myriad of scattered sheets.

Sejun hid her face against his neck, giggling for something he obviously didn't know and so Yoongi began to stroke her soft hair; letting them slip fast between his thin and slightly tapered fingers.

"Uncle Hobi!!!"

"If you grant me two seconds to call him, with great pleasure."

She lifted her face and placed her small, slightly chubby little hand, on her father's cheek, then starting to leave little kisses on the tip of his nose.

"Is it funny??"

"Yes, Appa!"

He shook his head by managing to take his phone and almost was a clue or a sign of destiny, the latter began to ring and the name of his best friend appeared light on the screen.

"Uncle Hobi!!" She yelled, stealing his phone and answering at his place.

Three years and it was more technological than him, which didn't surprise him much. Hearing the shining voice of Hoseok on the other part of the phone, he brought the little one to his bed and gently settled on it letting her enjoy that phone call.

Between all six, Hoseok and Taehyung were the ones to which Sejun was more bound. The first resembled her so much that she saw in him a perfect companion for the games. The second was just perfect with the children and there was no time when Sejun didn't feel well with him.

"My best friends have replaced me" he mumbled amused, coming out of his room heading towards the kitchen. The disaster of the evening before, where both had tried to cook a completely new recipe without the help of Uncle Seokjin, was still evident in the sink and on the counter but he decided to ignore it because no; he didn't have the energy to face that kind of mission.

The home's phone rang at the time when he was taking a coke from the refrigerator, so drinking in small sips he recovered the cordless and replied without making too much case to the name.

"Why is your phone always take????"

"Sejun is talking to Hoseok, you idiot."

"Oh, then she is forgivable."

Yoongi raised his eyes to heaven, feeling the adoring tone with which Jimin pronounced those last words, sitting on the table and waiting for the friend to say more or better explain the reason for that call.

"I have prepared everything, however!"

The smile on the face of the older was made more radiant, knowing what Jimin was referring to. He watched with a careful look that the little one didn't come out of his room and lowered his tone of voice, not wanting to let her find out.

"Have you bought it all?"

"Yes, apprehensive appa. It will be the best birthday party in the world.. But you have to distract her all day long! "

"Do you think I don't do it every single day since she was born?"

On the other side came clearly an amused puff, while he was sipping with the attention his own drink. In two days it was Sejun's fourth birthday and he felt excited as a child; Although not being good at expressing his feelings he always seemed very low-key about the issue.

Or maybe the fact that his little girl was growing up really hit him because he didn't want to. He had never understood how much when adults said: "you will be afraid, one day, when your son grows, you will see!"

But now he understood it, even though four years were still few and he had his whole life to be with his little princess. He was afraid to watch the time flying too quickly and that day when, of course, she would leave his protection in order to live really.

"Earth calls Yoongi.. Hyung Are you alive? "

"Eh?"

"You are unrecoverable." And with those words, the younger Jimin ended the call, but still smiled because he knew his hyung so well that he had understood what he was thinking at that moment.

Yoongi sighed, descending from the table and heading to his bedroom to check that the daughter hadn't done some irreparable damage.

"How about going to the park?" He asked, however, noticing that the little one had fallen asleep with the phone in her small hands. He bit his lip to that view, total perfection enclosed in a body so small, and trying to make as little noise as possible came up to the bed and took off the phone from her hands.

"Hoseok??"

"I'm still here, is she asleep??" He asked amused, having imagined that scenario given the absence of answers; "she was telling me about yesterday's disaster."

"Little traitor."

"See you in a while, we're all coming there."

And that news didn't appeal to Yoongi, for two simple reasons. His house was a disaster and he had to finish correcting those tests. Being a music teacher always had its downsides if you were forced to take your work home.

"But..."

"Shut up, you need company. Byeeeeeeeee! "

And the second call of the day broke off on the enthusiastic scream of the friend, while he sighed and lay beside the little girl. That immediately seemed to perceive his presence beside her, because she slipped on the bed and went to hide in his arms making him smile slightly.

"A nap will not hurt any of the two." He whispered and laid his lips against her forehead, letting himself be dragged from fatigue in what he hoped to be a peaceful nap.

~ ~

"They're literally father and daughter."

"Wait I want a picture!!"

"Taehyung shut up a moment!"

Confused voices came to Yoongi's ears, who opened his eyes lightly and watched the six boys around the bed. All with huge smiles well printed on the face.

"Appa..." The voice still drowsy of his daughter began to bring him back to reality, so with an effort he seated himself and took her in his arms starting to lull her gently.

"Sometimes I still surprise when I see the sweet side of Min Yoongi."

"Hush a little, Jungkook-ah."

All those laughed lightly, getting out of the room and leaving them alone. Yoongi began humming something under his voice, knowing that his daughter loved his voice, especially in that hue, continuing to cradle her and caress her back to allow her to wake up in the best way.

And that was the routine of every morning, although it was the afternoon at that time, he didn't mind. He hated admitting it aloud, especially with the other six, but those little cuddles with her were the reason why he always started the day with a smile.

"Appa.. Are they here...? "

"All six."

She snorted, still asleep, and settled better into his arms, letting her body adhere completely to his chest and abdomen. She was young but somehow she knew that that day was particular for his dad, so she was happy that his uncles were all there at that time.

"Do you want me to send them away and remain only the two of us?"

"No Appa, I want to play with Uncle Seokjin!" She whispered and, now completely awake, she wriggled from his father's arms and ran out of the room after jumping off the bed like a spring. He shook his head amused and slowly descended from the bed, hearing Seokjin's desperate screams and knowing that he had just entered the kitchen. Yoongi was sure, knowing him, that he had started to clean up but for once he didn't mind a few.

He was on the verge of getting out of the room when Namjoon's face leaned from the open door, blocking him on his footsteps and observing his friend carefully.

"What..?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay.. "

The silence greeted them shortly thereafter, while their glances spoke for them. But Yoongi, with high astonishment on the part of Namjoon, smiled with sweetness and crossing him he gave him a pat on his shoulder.

"Sejun is more important than this day, so I can also endure it." He whispered and Namjoon open wide his eyes, even more, surprised than just before.

But it had to be expected from Yoongi because for his daughter he would have buried even the most oppressive of sorrows in his heart.

"APPA!!" The little screamed running to meet her father, who found her attached to his leg and began to walk with fatigue because he didn't want to hurt her in some way.

"Don't you think your father wants to walk normally?"

"Hmm.. No! "

"This is your fault Taehyung!" He exclaimed, pointing his finger at the boy sitting on the couch that flashed his famous square smile and lifted his hands into a sign of denial. Everyone burst out laughing while he was struggling with her and he was able to detach his daughter from his leg, taking her in his arms and giving her a little pinch on her arm.

"Is that how you treat your father??" He asked to pretend a serious tone, but she nibbled his cheek and everyone started cheering for her, while Yoongi inside himself felt already on the side of the loser. He couldn't, even with huge efforts, resist that side of his daughter.

"Appa I know it! you like it!! "

"Go, go, go on Sejun-ah!" Jimin and Jungkook screamed in chorus, raising their arms to heaven as a sign of encouragement; "We believe in you!!"

"Traitors." Yoongi hissed, without looking at them but keeping his gaze fixed on his daughter; "Now that we're all here, what are you going to do? Because we always end up doing what you want. "

"I want ice cream!"

Immediately the others ran out of the door and waited for them outside their homes, because they also wanted a date to the ice patrol and Yoongi, as always, he found himself forced to fulfill the desire of his daughter.

Not that he was sorry, but now he had to deal with six other children together. And he knew that that day would be the most tiring of his whole life.

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agentnico · 7 years ago

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SUNDAY OLD SCHOOL: Alien (1979) Review

Sunday Old School - Every Sunday I pick a classic film to review and talk about, because that’s why they are classics, they should be remembered!

I was so happy that character I was rooting for in this film survived. That cat was simply adorable and I’m glad it made it home safely!

Plot: After a space merchant vessel perceives an unknown transmission as a distress call, its landing on the source moon finds one of the crew attacked by a mysterious life-form, and they soon realize that its life cycle has merely begun.

Its quite ironic that this year (2017) the ‘Alien’ rip-off film ‘Life’ was actually better than the official ‘Alien’ franchise film ‘Alien: Covenant’. That’s because ‘Life’ followed the very successful formula of the original ‘Alien’, whilst with ‘Alien: Covenant’ Ridley Scott focused on making a massive blockbuster action flick. I mean, the amount of times we see the Xenomorphs in their full colour is ridiculous. The reason why the original ‘Alien’ worked so well was because the was always a sense of mystery to the Xenomorph. We never fully saw him, and we, as humans, are most of afraid of things that we cannot see or don’t know about, which is why ‘Alien’ is a superb survival horror film, unlike ‘Alien: Covenant’ which I by now have decided is a total piece of trash. And to even think about when the original ‘Alien’ came out, that was 1979, so the sci-fi genre was at an all time high with franchises like ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Star Trek’ bringing all kinds of buzz from people. Then Ridley Scott walks into the spotlight and gives us a completely different take on the science fiction genre. He decided to make space scary and creepy, which at the time obviously took audiences off guard and really scared them, and that’s why it was a success. Scott perfectly handled the mood and tone of the film, with long takes of the camera panning through the spaceship Nostromo with complete silence, referring to the tag-line that no one can hear you if you are in space. The direction of this film is masterful; every shot is marvellous, every move of the camera is beautiful. As well as always keeping the alien in the shadows so you can never really see him. And that mystery and the sense of the unknown was what made ‘Alien’ so special. Because of that comparing it to what Ridley Scott has done now with ‘Prometheus’ and ‘Alien: Covenant’ makes you actually appreciate the 1979 ‘Alien’ film even more. Also, I should warn that from this point I will be heading into some spoiler territory for ‘Alien’, so you have been warned...

‘Alien’, alongside films like ‘Terminator 2: Judgement Day’ was of the first ever films to have a strong female lead. In ‘Alien’ we have Sigourney Weaver playing the badass Ripley, who against all odds becomes the only survivor of the ship’s crew, alongside the cat. However that brings me to m issue with the film. With all the praise I can give this movie, there is one flaw with it that I have to point out. It began this movie trend of dumb characters doing dumb things that ultimately leads to their inevitable death. I mean, these are scientists. They are supposed to be intelligent. But no, the crew get a distress call so the captain decided to go and investigate because apparently he is now Sherlock Holmes who’s surrounded by a crew of Watsons even though their mission was to simply stay on their course and not do anything else. It’s like the dwarfs walking through Mirkwood forest in ‘The Hobbit’ novel. Gandalf told them to stay on the path or else they will get lost, but no, they decide it’d be a genius idea to leave the said path and what do you know, that’s right, they get lost! But okay, I can forgive the factor of the captain trying to be a hero and going to save someone. So they get onto this mysterious planet that they refer to as LV-426 and they start exploring and find this alien ship. Oooo, exciting!! So they go inside and one crew member comes across these alien eggs. The dumbass crew member decides it would be hilarious if he sticks his head inside one of those strange egg-like things even though he has no idea what the hell it is. Well congratulations Mr Intelligent Scientist, you now have a weird crazy alien thing stuck to your face. Hope you are proud with yourself! Still think it was a funny idea to stick your head inside that egg? Eventually the crew gets the facehugger off the idiot’s face and he seems fine and dandy, all smiling like nothing had happened. I guess he was indeed happy with himself for sticking his head inside and alien egg. Well okay then. They all then sit down to have a nice family meal together, and then the alien that has by now developed inside of the dumb scientist decides that it doesn’t like Mexican food, so it bursts out of the idiot’s stomach with a loud “Huzzah!!” and tap dances it’s way into the depth of the ship. The idiotic scientist is now dead, so I guess we are done with these scientists doing stupid dumb things? Apparently not, because the captain decides to act like a hero (AGAIN!) and starts climbing around the oxygen ventilation ducts of the spaceship looking for this small teddy-bear sized creature whilst thinking “Yeah, I’m a badass, I can handle anything” when he comes across our fellow alien who obviously kills our heroic captain. Turns out the alien has now turned into a 7-feet tall spider like creature with a weird tube for a head, that can climb through the spaceship faster than Usain Bolt! At this point our left-over intelligent crew cannot really do much, as this alien creature goes on a Jack-the-Ripper escapade to kill everyone, and it doesn’t help that our clever crew decides to split into smaller factions so that they become easier to kill. Ever heard of teamwork, guys? By the end we are left with Ripley, who to this point was the only one who encouraged the crew to follow the official protocol and procedure of things, but the crew never listened to her and look where we are now! Anyhow, Ripley by sheer luck but also from true bad-assery fends off the alien, jumps into the escape pod rescuing the cat also, then realises the alien snuck into the pod with her, but she doesn’t lose her spirits. She fights him some more eventually kicking him out into space and the alien flies away screeching “I just wanted to kill youuuuuuuu....”. So, yes, we have a powerful female character, who becomes even more badass in the next film, however that doesn’t take away from the fact that the rest of the ship’s crew are complete morons, most notable the guy who though he was a comedy genius for sticking his head inside an egg and also the heroic captain. But the stupidity of the characters in my only complaint with this film, since in all fairness their stupidity does lead to events that make this film so enjoyable and great. And also the actual characters themselves are all really likeable, and their friendly relationships are all really well realised.

This is a film that I’d personally say you should not experience when you are too young, as for starters it might scar you for life, but also that there are certain undertones that you can appreciate more when you are grown up. If you think about it, this film is filled with very sexual imagery, from the way the creature is designed and holds itself to the way the facehuggers attach themselves to something so personal as you face and enter through your mouth and then impregnates you, there is a deep psychologically disturbing sexual violation theme in this film, and even though this idea is quite messed up, it’s adds to the horror aspect of this film and why the whole thing is so scary. Also, in the scale the film is actually quite small if you think about it, since if you take away the 10 minutes where they are on the LV-426 planet exploring the alien ship, the movie is mainly very self contained by being mainly set on the crew’s spaceship, and again this confined space adds to the film’s horror. This is how a horror film should be done, and I really do think that directors of modern horror films should take more inspiration from ‘Alien’.

‘Alien’ was a revolutionary film from a special effects stand-point, from a concept standpoint, it gave us an idea of how much can be done on film. The alien creature itself is one of the best creature designs to date in film, which is quite surprising if you think about how long ago the film came out. This was ambitious film that took risks and ultimately succeeded and will always have a strong stand in the science fiction genre, regardless of how some of its sequels panned out.

Overall score: 9/10

TOP MOVIE QUOTE: “I think it is safe to assume it isn’t a zombie.”

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justtextmeoppa · 8 years ago

Text

❝ I lied ❞

Plot: When Jaebum is so stupid to not understand is slowly falling in love with you and pushing you away because he’s afraid due to his previous broken heart. But you love him since your training days and at the end he confesses to you.

Pairing: JaebumxReader

Words count: 2,5k+

Genre: Fluff

For anon, I hope you like it cutie! (I love JB, thanks for your request lmao) - M.

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner! ♥

That was your day. After three years of training, you were finally able to debut and more important as a soloist.

It was tiring to be alone, but that was your dream as a child and nothing would have prevented you from realizing it.

And it was a success, because as soon as your music video was released the visualizations began to increase with speed, making you feel really at peace with yourself.

And from that day began the promotion at every music show, fan sign, mini concerts, and interviews. It was tiring, but you just seemed to be into a dream, wanting to never wake up.

Another dream was also to know the groups that had been your inspiration for years and during an episode of the MCountdown, you had known SHINee and the f(x), who finally had returned after years with a comeback that had left you speechless because of the too much perfection.

Everything was perfect, the only difficulty is that you felt lonely most of the time.

~ ~

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, Y/N!” Jackson’s scream made you turn, you were talking to your manager in the hallway after your practice, and you greeted him shaking your hand forcefully and smiling to him warmly.

Jackson had been, after the first few months since your debut, the first to approach you and immediately you had become close friends. And it was he who introduced you to the other six members of GOT7, a group for whom you had immense admiration.

“For today rested, tomorrow you’ve a busy day.” With a sweet tone your manager reassured you, squeezing your shoulder gently and moving away.

Jackson’s arms wrapped almost immediately around your shoulders and you burst out laughing, it was like having a little koala always close. And you couldn’t even define BamBam and Mark differently. The two immediately freed you from Jackson’s grip, hugging you into a sandwich hug and continuing to scream your name with happiness.

“You disappeared the other day, where did you go??” Mark asked you with curiosity, leaving finally the grip on you; “I wanted to go shopping with you, Y/N!” BamBam added, giving you a little frustrated look even if you knew he was just kidding.

“But there’s Y/N!!” Youngaje ran towards you and immediately, like the ball of sunshine that he was, he hugged you almost lifting you from the ground and tore you a little scream, full of fun. When you were with him it was practically impossible not to feel full of joy or fun.

Jinyoung joined the group, walking alongside the Maknae and continuing to judge him almost as if he had killed his cat, hugging you soon after when Youngjae left you. After having met them you knew why Jr. was called the group’s mom, he was a sassy queen at times but he took care of each of them.

You greeted Yugyeom giving him a high five and noticing only at that time Jaebum’s absence.

A slight sense of sadness took your smile off for a few moments, but you couldn’t let them notice. So immediately, in feeling Mark’s gaze upon you, you went back to smile even though it was difficult.

You haven’t seen Jaebum for several weeks, you didn’t understand why but he always had an excuse ready to leave during the few moments you could spend with them.

And you’ve fallen in love during your years of training. Looking at him from afar and dreaming, one day, to be able to really know him and not just what he showed. He wasn’t just the “chic and sexy” leader, you knew it was a lot more but he kept getting away and you could only respect his will. Maybe he didn’t want to meet you and you’d have to live with that doubt, even though it was extremely hard.

“He’s training in the gym.” Mark whispered into your ear and you gave him a nudge in his side, causing him to snort slightly. “Why don’t we go eat something? It’s on Y/N, indeed she’s becoming famous and rich! ”

“Mark Yien Tuan!!!”

~ ~

Jaebum’s pov

You watched them as they stepped out of the building, your smile was off as soon as you noticed that she was with them.

Months of frustration had been your closest companions, without being able to tell others why you weren’t able to understand what was going on. The more she tried to get closer, you noticed how she always tried to talk to you or smiled at you, the more you walked away. But at the same instant, the desire to stay close to her grew.

You felt as a living contradiction and the only one who had noticed that change had been Jinyoung. Maybe because you knew him for many years now, you didn’t know, but even he couldn’t tell you what was happening to you.

“Oppa!!!!”

You jumped in seeing one of the trainees running towards you, smiling politely to her and she took your hand, dragging to the room where she was trying with her group.

“Oppa could you give us your advice on this choreography? You’re so good! ”

You ground your teeth, turning your face to do so she couldn’t see you and at that moment Y/N’s voice reached you behind.

She was soft and delicate, always incredibly kind and for a moment you found yourself staring at her. She seemed embarrassed and that slight redness on her cheeks was beautiful, making her even more gorgeous.

“Sunbae!” Screamed in chorus the girls around you, while she bowed and apologized for the meddling.

She was avoiding your gaze and her manner bothered you because she never did. You almost “lived” for the moments when you two were in touch, albeit only with the gaze, and feeling ignored was something that you obviously didn’t like.

“Sorry Jaebum sunbae and sorry girls.. I left my jacket here, did you see it by accident? ” She apologized and that smile made you literally dissolve, even if you continued to maintain a neutral expression rather perhaps particularly bored seen from the outside.

One of the girls took a jacket from the corner and ran towards her, bowing several times and giving it to her. And it was in that instant that you noticed that it was your jacket. That is, it was no longer, but once it was yours. You had given her a year earlier and remembered the day perfectly. She was injured and you were the only one who noticed, so much so that she had to go to the hospital. And that day was really cold and seeing her tremble had been too much for you, so you laid your jacket on her shoulders and with a smile you told her that it was a gift in view of her imminent debut.

And it was from that day that you started to feel more and more strange next to her so that you could push yourself away. Because you were scared, that was the truth.

You were afraid to let go and attached really to her, seeing then all collapse because of the various problems that your lifestyle behaved.

It wasn’t like Nyeon, with her you never tried anything like that. Yes, you liked her but you couldn’t try anything else. With her there was something different, she was different.

“Girl maybe Jaebum sunbae has to do.. What do you say if I help you?? ”

“Quiet Y/N, go as well.” You pointed the door, without smiling and the girls’ whispers reached you perfectly while she looked at you disoriented.

In her eyes you could see the disappointment, but she smiled with that sweetness that you didn’t see while she smiling others.

But stupidly you did pretend nothing, face and giving her your back.

For the umpteenth time you ran away from what you felt, wondering if you’d ever change.

~ ~

Y/N’s pov

“Are you alright, Y/N?”

“Yes Mark, just the fatigue.. Don’t worry!” You smiled to reassure him, taking another spoonful of rice from your bowl. You were hungry, you had practically practiced for fourteen hours in a row and the only thing that mattered to you at that time was the food.

Not even the astonished look of seven boys would have prevented you from enjoying that meal.

Jaebum was sitting in front of you but you decided, after the episode in the rehearsal room a few days before, to ignore him completely. He had hurt you and you could no longer bear his caution.

With the chopsticks you were about to take the nth piece of meat on the grill when BamBam passed you and you gave him a pinch on his arm, making him burst to laugh.

“It was mine!”

“I’ve never seen a girl eat so much, aren’t you on a diet?” BamBam yelled, gunpoint the sticks against you but holding a smile.

“Are you saying I’m fat??!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

“Good you two, yah!” Jinyoung recalled you two, while you made a small tongue to BamBam and took him from the plate the piece of meat he stole from you before.

“Thief!”

“BamBam shut up!” Jinyoung yelled again, so you leaned towards him planting a kiss on his cheek as Thanksgiving.

They all whistled, starting to tease you and saying you had a crush on Jinyoung. He laughed slightly embarrassed while you had begun to eat, too hungry to feed their stupid.

“This scene is such a crap; ” Jaebum mumbled, throwing the napkin on the table and moving away under your perplexity. He left the grill bar without saying another world, stoking your perplexity.

“Y/N..?” Mark called you, pointing you the exit with his head. But you didn’t understand what he was trying to tell you, so you watched him confusedly waiting for his explanation.

“Why don’t you go talk to him..?”

“Me????? He hates me, so I’ll avoid with pleasure to talk him. ” You cut short, ignoring the snorting of Jackson and the facepalm of Jinyoung and BamBam, while Mark kept staring carefully. “All right, I’m going to make me humiliate a little longer.” Annoyed you dropped the chopsticks on the table and moving youngjae you got up from the bench you were comfortably seated in, fixing your dress and putting the jacket on.

That jacket that still seemed to smell like him.

“Sunbae wait! Sunbae! ” You call him, once you leave the grill bar, rushing behind him “Sunbae!” You yelled again, approaching him and gripping his wrist so he couldn’t go away. “Sunbae something wrong?”

“No, just that your presence bother me.”

“Reciprocal as a thing.” And that made him turn. He towered over with his highness and his gaze, fierce and possessed, made you take a little step back.

“Then why do you keep to search for our company? Why? What do you want? ” He asked, clenching his hands along his hips, and continuing to look at you.

“Friends. You hate me without a damn apparent reason! ”

“It’s you. You’re the one who’s irritating, fussy and a moody person. Every time you’re near to me I would want to escape because your only presence bores me. ”

“Well, then pretend that I’m not with you, indeed you already do it very well Jaebum.”

You pretended to be strong, but his words had deeply hurt you. You shook your head, extremely disappointed by him and your stupidity in proving feelings towards him; turning and starting to walk to the local. The tears threatened to slip onto your face, but you wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction of seeing you crying.

“I lied.”

You didn’t stop, you didn’t want to hear his voice even if he had apologized over and over again.

“I lied Y/N. You’re not annoying, you’re not fussy and even a moody person. But I wish you were. ” Jaebum said with a thread of voice, beginning to follow you in the hope that you would stop. He knew he had fucked up, but he couldn’t think straight at that moment.

“I wish you were detestable so I could just try indifference towards you. I could avoid feeling like a fool every time you’re close to me. I could avoid feeling my heart in the throat and my hands trembling. I could avoid trying the unhealthy desire to hug you. I could avoid so many things, things that I’m not used to and.. That frighten me. ”

Your gaze remained lowered on your feet and by now you were almost at the entrance when quick steps ran behind you and his hand clenched gently around your wrist.

You sobbed, holding your gaze bent down and he made you turn, laying his hand on your cheek and lifting your face. Your eyes were red but you hadn’t dropped even a tear, despite they were burning for the effort.

“The day I gave you the jacket I started to feel different.. But I was with Neyon.. Then she betrayed me and I found myself with the broken heart.. I was afraid that if I continued to like you I would have suffered again.” He began to say, starting to brush your cheek with his fingertips; “Y/N.. You’re different and I didn’t know how to behave. So I pushed you away.. And I’m sorry if I hurt you with my behavior, it was the only thing I didn’t want… ”

“Jaebum..”

“Let me finish. It’s true I’m weird when it comes to my feelings, I don’t know how to outsource what I feel and I’m not great with sweet things.. I’m not good at so many things.. But I can’t ignore you anymore. I can’t ignore the fact that I’m falling in love with you. ”

You hold your breath when he confessed what he felt, feeling your legs to yield and he immediately supported you, embracing you to himself and resting a hand on your back.

“Y/N!”

“I-I’m fine.. J-just that.. ”

“I’m sorry I told you these things.. I promise I’ll be a better friend for you, like Mark or BamBam. ” He murmured while in his eyes there was fear, the fear of having to be just a friend to you and you knew well that feeling.

“I don’t want to..”

“I understand..”

“I don’t want another friend Jaebum.. Because I’m in love with you for so long and you never realized it. ”

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