#And like... I understand how some people might be a bit pissed that their perception of a character might have gotten flipped.

[luminaryofblood]

... To say nothing of my ire whenever I stumble on the "Ansbach is biased" takes. 😭

[slackerlifewhere]

What Kim Rok Soo probably thinks about Cale Henituse

Okay, so I mentioned that I'm rereading the first part now so I can finally read the second part of the novel.

While reading, I noticed how calm and normal Kim Rok Soo is about Cale. Like yeah, he finds him amusing and interesting, but coming from a man who has read five volumes and notices (and remembers) every little detail about it, it makes me wonder what he truly thinks about Cale Henituse.

[✋Possible SPOILERS for the first part of TCF ✋]

As I reread the story in the first few chapters, despite how little Cale Henituse's importance is in The Birth of a Hero or how few his appearances are since it focuses on Choi Han's adventure, Kim Rok Soo somehow describes moments that make Cale look like trash but it's like he understands why the noble was like that before they switched bodies (except for the Harris village since he didn't know about that until OG Cale mentions it).

Like think about it. We all know KRS grew up with his abusive uncle. He knows how bad it is to live with an alcoholic but he doesn't judge Cale's antics when he's "drunk". We also know that he's been alone most of his life so he probably thinks that Cale is just a lonely person because of his reputation.

Guessing that there are some assholes during the apocalypse (I haven't read the side stories yet but I can guess), he probably thinks that Cale is more complex than what he shows in the books because he has seen the worst kind of people that makes Cale look like a normal person. After switching bodies, Venion, White Star, Arm, and Adin are definitely 1000% worse than Cale.

Kim Rok Soo is very sharp when it comes to understanding people. He understands Choi Han and Alberu's problems and understands the trauma the kids went through. He also understands how corrupt nobles and priests are and doesn't judge Mary and the Dark Elves all because of a stupid religion. He understands how hard it was for Lock during the war and was comforting about it his own weird way.

He's a perceptive and understanding person.

Although he's incredibly bad at judging himself, he's good at judging a person through their motives and actions. It's why he somehow befriends Toonka and Bud. It's why he became allies with Hannah and Fredo. It's why he quietly listens to DHB later on. He understands people and it's why people like and trust him.

In short, he knows that there's something more than what the books say about Cale Henituse.

It's kind of the reason why it made me pause a bit when he finally meets OG Cale.

Their conversation was so calm, it's as if they knew each other for a very long time instead of just literally a few minutes ago. He easily accepted what OG Cale has to say about his mother and his new life as Kim Rok Soo and he trusts him with his former team. Like I've mentioned before in my other post, he's happy for both of them because they're both content with their new lives despite their regrets in their last lives.

Cale looked at Kim Rok Soo, who was laughing and making gestures that he would never have made, and nonchalantly added on.

“I guess you’ve really been happy.”

He recalled the moment he met with Lee Soo Hyuk and got the ‘Embrace’ ability.

Lee Soo Hyuk had handed Cale the ability and told him about the real Cale Henituse as he disappeared.

‘Oh, by the way, the original owner of your body is living well too. He’s happy. That is why Jung Soo, I, and everybody is happy.’

Kim Rok Soo had a bright smile that suited a twenty-year-old person and not someone in his mid-thirties.

- Chapter 656: Everything can be connected

I'm guessing that when he read the parts about Cale throwing bottles at a random asshole in the books, he probably thought that he might do the same thing. Remember how badly he reacted when he learned about the slaves being sent to the Empire? He basically used the same tactic but instead of throwing the bottle at someone, he drank a lot because of how pissed he was and made it look like the "trash" he is while waiting for everyone's signal.

He even has some thoughts about how annoyed he is whenever the knights or butlers would flinch away since he knows Cale never tried to actually harm them. And he knows about Cale's troubles with the staff back home in the Henituse territory.

So yeah, it's pretty sweet in a way that Cale Henituse has someone who kind of understands him and won't judge him for his actions even though Kim Rok Soo doesn't know everything about him because of the books (like his conversation with Basen).

“It looks like you will need to struggle a little longer, but anyway, live well. Please take care of my family.”

“Please take care of my team members.”

Both men let go of each other’s hand with a small amount of sorrow visible in their eyes.

- Chapter 657: Everything can be connected

[solemnv0id]

Monsterverse au where almost everything is the same except Godzilla can just become a guy whenever he feels like it

some rambles about the au under cut

ok hai idk what sparked in my brain to come up with this idea but I just think it would be very funny to see how a guy who fucks up cities on the regular would deal with being in a city and trying to figure out how the fuck society works

in this au, whenever he either turns back into Godzilla or goes into guy mode (which is the term I’ve decided for when referring to him changing to his human form), a massive cloud of mist forms around him. So while people don’t know that this guy in particular is Godzilla, they do know that if a cloud of mist suddenly appears and you didn’t see Godzilla anywhere beforehand, it’s time to panic.

There’s usually 2 main reasons why he turns into a person

One is boredom. There’s a shocking lack of things for the king of the monsters to do when there’s no monsters to beat up, he’s not tired, and is fully fed so has decided to spend some of his free time figuring what the hell these humans are getting up to these days

Two is quick maneuvering. It generally throws other monsters way off guard when the guy they’re fighting just vanishes in a cloud of mist.

also for funsies here’s some facts about goji in this au because it’s funny

1) Very good at picking up languages,,,verbally. His ass canNOT read.

2) Doesnt understand the point of paper money and credit cards. Only thing he somewhat understands is coins because “at least they’re nice and shiny”

3) In this version of KOTM, when he was getting final wars’d by Ghidorah he briefly went into guy mode in order to get out of there but couldn’t stay like it for long because yknow he was about to explode

4) Sleeps in loads of different spots bc who knew there’s so many more places to sleep when you’re not the size of a wonder of the world, and like what people gonna do? Move him?

5) Pretty much all his prior knowledge of humanity before deciding that exploring cities is cool is from eavesdropping the humans that were in that weird Atlantis place in KOTM and still remembers how to speak their language, only problem is that that culture and language has been dead for several thousand years so it’s not super helpful these days.

6) Thinks straws are a top 10 human invention

7) Chilled in Japan for a bit before 2014 happened and was given the name Tamaki which is what he uses to introduce himself since he didn’t know for a while that people called him Godzilla and even if he knew, telling people your name is Godzilla or Gojira makes them look at you funny

8) He can still use his atomic breath in guy mode but it’s usually by accident, like he sneezes a bit to hard and lasers a bit of a building by accident

9) For some reason is always surprised when people guess his age because they usually guess like,,, late 30s, early 40s and not several hundred thousand years old for some reason (his ass has no clue how long human life spans are due to both his lack of knowledge on them and the fact his perception of time is kinda fucked, he thinks they’re at least 1000 years)

10) Knows about Monarch but just generally views them as annoying bastards that don’t leave him alone (except Serizawa, he thinks about that one moment a lot). Also Monarch knows about the fact he can go guy mode but they haven’t been able to identify which guy he becomes.

11) Can still breathe underwater in guy mode (he still has his gills on his neck but you can’t see them bc of his hair) and will sometimes chill in the ocean whenever he decides that humanity has pissed him off for whatever reason

12) Will never deny that he’s Godzilla, he might not admit he is but if someone asks he won’t say that he isn’t, he just might indirectly say yes

[marzipanandminutiae]

Hello I was just wondering if you've seen Imani Barbarin talk about not voting (https://x.com/imani_barbarin/status/1747723080917492020?s=46&t=55h0eHrgY7FtQI8ej54maw)? I saw you reblog the post about "not waiting for the morally pure candidate" and I think that's a willful misrepresentation of what Gen Z is feeling

We've not seen Biden address ANY of the things the post claims (climate change is the only one I remember without scrolling back) but we have seen him approve more oil licenses than trump, drop more bombs than trump, support a genocide, abandon disabled people and any Covid mitigations during the second highest surge since the start of the pandemic (with less testing so odds are things r even worse than we can tell), bring back student debt, etc etc

As a Gen Z'r, I genuinely want to understand how y'all can believe "no vote is a vote for fascism" when both candidates are horrendous? Why is the onus on us and not the politicians to do better instead of pointing fingers and saying "at least we're better than Trump" when that is categorically untrue?

I'm sorry if this is too rant-y I'm just so furious and frustrated with my perception of older voters' complacency with being given utter shit instead of organizing for better

I am trying very hard to be reasoned and understanding about this- bearing in mind that we want the same things in the end and I'mnot jazzed for Biden either -when it's extremely, EXTREMELY obvious to me that Trump is worse.

Like.

If he gets elected there might not be another election. The man was theoretically willing to use military force to quell protests if he lost the 2020 election (why he didn't, I don't know; but I'm not willing to give him that chance a second time).

Trump has called himself a dictator, proudly, in the same breath as saying "we're closing the border and we're drilling, drilling, drilling." Biden does NOT remotely have a perfect record on either of those things- he was locked into some construction of the border wall by how the funds had already been allocated by Congress during the Trump administration, but not everything he's done in relation to it, which also pisses me off. As for the oil thing, it's a bit more complicated than it seems on the surface: not as simple as "he doesn't actually care about the environment" even as it's definitely not a good move or in line with his stated climate goals.

As for those climate goals, I found this interesting article that rates key areas of climate action and how they've fared during the Biden administration. It was updated in January, and it is not sycophantically uncritical across the board. But that is LEAGUES more progress than we'd get under a system of "drilling, drilling, drilling" with absolutely no concessions to the climate crisis at all.

His handling of the situation in Palestine...yeah, I struggle with that, too. I know he's been trying to talk their leaders down, to some degree, but it's not nearly enough to me. And I STRONGLY disagree with us selling them weapons. However, Trump's statements on the matter- calling for a ban on Gazan refugees in the US, calling pro-Palestinian protestors "barbarians," and saying he'd revoke the student visa of anyone he deemed "anti-American" -makes me believe that letting him get into power is not something my conscience would allow, vis a vis the fate of the Palestinian people. Because it would be exponentially worse.

I also think the material good that has happened under the Biden administration has been...MASSIVELY under-publicized. Because like. He HAS addressed things. Lots of things, in fact.

this article from last year was too early to include pardoning thousands of people federally convicted of simple marijuana possession (again, not perfect, but still very good), setting new rules to limit methane emissions, capping prices for at least some major insulin producers, partial student loan debt forgiveness (tried to do more, but got hamstrung by Republicans), cancelling oil leases granted by Trump in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (not enough given the leases HE granted, but it's not nothing either), and much more I'm sure I'm overlooking. Because, again, nobody's been talking about it. It sells more news subscriptions to feed readers an endless stream of what Biden is doing wrong- which I am not denying! -leaving people with the dangerous impression that both sides are the same. Republicans would not have done any of this. That's just the truth of the matter.

Look, I would like a better option, too. I would love to actually LIKE a presidential candidate in my lifetime. I'd love one who wouldn't make concessions to the interests of selfish, heartless people with ledgers where their sense of human compassion should be. I just don't see that person coming to power between now and November.

And I'll take someone who is Standard US Politician Slimy but at least makes some improvements (unfortunately, I doubt there's anyone with a chance of winning in less than a year who doesn't support Israel to some degree, since this country have a long history of that) over someone who might actually stage a right-wing military coup, and who would kill me and other marginalized people himself if he thought it would get him more fame and fortune.

Some people say their conscience won't let them vote Biden. I can't tell them what to do. But if he gets the Democratic nomination, my conscience wouldn't let me do anything else.

[knowledgeabletrash]

I have so many feelings about the first Hunt and it’s aftermath from 2x08 & 09! Apologies for the word-vomit below this.

I never thought it would happen, but dare I say, Travis has become one of my favorite characters this season.

As an older sibling, I was right there with Travis these last two episodes. His guilt and grief in Storyteller hit very close to home for me and I just.

Right after the crash, everyone looked to Travis to take care of Javi, even when he was still trying to process the fact that he had just watched his father fall out of a fucking plane. He dug up his father’s rotting corpse in order to get a ring to help Javi grieve and remember their dad. He spent months walking 7 miles in every direction every day looking for Javi. And after all that, Javi still died. Not only did Travis lose his father, but now he’s lost his brother for the SECOND TIME. To make it worse, Javi was safe, he wasn’t picked! But then Travis decided to protect Natalie, and from the looks of it, he was ready to take her place; he threw himself in front of the door behind her and stood with a knife at his throat (for the second time oh my god these girls). I missed it before, but Travis looked to Javi and whispered his name after the Hunt went after Nat, he asked Javi to protect Natalie when he couldn’t. And doesn’t that make it so much worse? Up until then, Javi had been running away from the violence. Travis asked him to step up and take care of Natalie, someone they both grew to love. Javi became just like his big brother, and he died for it.

Side note: Travis is a better man than me because if that was my sister trust and believe I’d have done more than send them on a guilt trip, even if I was starving!! Not to soft quote Queen Ramonda here but HAS HE NOT GIVEN EVERYTHING?! His dad died while helping the girls put on their oxygen masks during the crash, Javi died so that the rest of them wouldn’t starve. His whole family died saving the Yellowjackets! Ben didn’t eat Jackie OR Javi and he’s still alive and kicking and burning down cabins, our girls SICK AND TWISTED (said with love). Even in the Donner Party, they made sure they ate in separate groups so that families would not have to eat each other or watch as their loved ones were eaten.

Anyway, I’ve seen a lot of people harping on Travis for telling Van that they should all be ashamed of what they did, and god it makes me so upset. Y’all can excuse hunting your friends and cannibalism but not a grieving teenage boy lashing out after the murder of his little brother??!! Like, the first thing Travis did when he saw his brother’s body was try to untie his hands because he’s not an animal he’s just a kid, and then cradled him like a baby, only to have his body taken from him moments later to be dismembered and butchered.

As the youngest of the survivors, Javi was someone who, by normal conventions, should have been protected by the rest of the group. Of course Travis needs them to be ashamed of what they did, he blames himself for Javi’s death just as much as he does then, if not more!! Travis was supposed to protect him and he failed him!!

I understand that Travis is not a fan favorite by a long shot and Van is one of the most popular characters in the show, which might be skewing the perception of this scene a bit, but I think the people who are dunking on Travis here are missing the point a little? Yes, Van gave him some brutal honesty and was well within her rights to do so. However!! Travis also gets to be pissed at the Yellowjackets. The fact is: they absolutely SHOULD be ashamed, but they’re not. They fully COULD HAVE saved Javi, but they didn’t. Javi was not the one who drew the card, but he died anyway. Why was Javi’s life worth less than Lottie’s, who might have died on her own? Because they liked her more? Because he was more expendable? No matter how much you justify it, Javi did not NEED to die. None of it was fair. That’s the point, that’s the tragedy of it all!

Lottie Matthews really dropped the thesis of the show: “Is there a difference?”

It doesn’t matter if there was some supernatural entity out there who “chose” Javi to die, it would have happened anyway. It’s much easier to stand by and watch a boy drown than to do the killing yourself. They were starving, he was there. Even if the Wilderness chose, the Yellowjackets chose, too.

Circling back a bit, I also want to talk about the difference between the two instances of cannibalism on this show: how they’re similar and different.

When Shauna and Travis discover their loved ones bodies (both frozen might I add), they assume very similar positions, kneeling by their heads and touching their faces. Both of their death’s were caused by the collective inaction of the rest of the group. The person who takes the first bite was the person who loved them most, thus giving permission to the others to eat and spurring on the feeding frenzy.

Jackie was an accident, Javi was on purpose. When Shauna found Jackie, she screamed and was in denial, trying to shake her awake. Travis was almost completely silent, only whispering “I’m sorry” and cradling Javi’s head in his lap. They held onto Jackie’s frozen corpse for months so Shauna could grieve her, but they took Javi away from Travis after what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. They ate Jackie whole like vultures, but they butchered Javi like an animal. The process of eating Jackie took a long time, almost three months from her death to consumption. Hell, she was slow roasted. With Javi though, “it all happened so fast” he was dead, cleaned, and eaten all within a few hours.

Shauna ate Jackie’s ear first. Jackie was driven into the cold by Shauna’s words. Travis ate Javi’s heart first. Javi went after Natalie because Travis loved her and because he loved Travis.

I’ve seen people say that the progression to the Hunt was too sudden and a result of bad writing but I’m going to have to disagree! Just from the parallels between Jackie and Javi’s deaths alone you can tell these writers know their shit. The Hunt has been teased since Doomcoming back in S1, the bloodthirsty side to the Yellowjackets has long been set up (Not!Tai eating Jackie’s face, Misty pushing Crystal, Shauna beating up Lottie). All season, we have seen various characters talking about eating another person multiple times (Misty and Crystal with the bone broth, Gen and Melissa about Crystal’s body, Mari and Misty both threatening Coach Ben), so they’ve had cannibalism on the brain for a while before they decided to Hunt. I’d go so far as to say the first signs of the Hunt were back in 1x01 with the girls icing out Allie for the greater good so they could win nationals. Them shunning Jackie solidified that the Yellowjackets were more than comfortable singling out and dehumanising one of their own, so long as the rest of the group deemed it necessary.

Cannibalism also is probably one of those things that gets easier the more you do it? Like they definitely would have Hunted and eaten Travis during Doomcoming if they had already taken the first step into cannibalism before then. Once they ate Jackie, all bets were off. The Wilderness “refusing” to let Lottie die was just a convenient excuse, they were hurdling headfirst into hunting their friends for sport looooong before then.

All this to say the Season 2 finale destroyed me and these are only Some of my thoughts about it. I’m not even TOUCHING the Natalie stuff yet.

[popponn]

things about michael kaiser.

kaiser is genuinely interesting and i really want to see more of him really. despite the vendetta i have against him for touching isagi's chin. so im rotating him in my head for a bit here for reasons. this is more of me observing and putting down what i perceive so far, especially with his personality. some are hcs and assumptions. manga spoiler up to uber match ending btw.

this guy is teasing isagi a lot and does not shy away from touching isagi when doing so. their literal first meeting, that one headpat—like is it more of a display of power? very likely.

but then look at how his face was at his teammates during vs barcha, then vs manshine, and in that screening room with ness. this guy is cold, like his expression change between cold, expressionless, or pissed. with sheeting and smug as an extra.

then come the vs uber + fragile ego theory (his volume cover that use glass chain instead of iron as usual, a pretty popular theory)—and yeah if his confrontation with chris and lorenzo is any indication. yeah, this guy got something going on there

which is where after this, as there is no backstory for him yet let's start headcanoning and/or analyzing his behaviour and lil bits of info. first thing first noa.

in barcha, part of this guy's strategy is staying away from the masters' 1v1. which is smart, very cool and understandable. shows that kaiser is not all smug and drive the point even more that he is talented and smart too. is in line with isagi's perception of him, a very good player—paraphrased btw.

but then vs mc came and stuffs gets interesting. after nagi's miracle goal, chris and noa enter the field. if you look at his face around here, he is clearly not happy.

and i think this is where kaiser's fragile ego really starts to show. nagi—the 'shitty baby chick'—pretty much 'win' against him and isagi and scored what pretty much is a super goal. a flashy one.

and now chris and noa, the #2 & #1 is in the field.

remember kaiser's goal? the one where he want to get out of bm via auction. and if anything so far, NEL shows us that you have to stand out to win higher bidding.

put it simply, probably the reason he is not happy at that point is that his chance to shine more is pretty much getting heavily hindered already.

and this is more headcanonny, but this guy definitely has a complex and a tendency. the said tendency is pretty much spelled out by chris—"going against the weaker one, but escape the stronger one". and even tho kaiser get pissed and go head to head with chris—probably due to a bruised ego, which would be a point that would came up again later—this tendency seems to be in line with him wanting to go out from bm.

"he can't shine with noa there"—if this was isagi or barou or rin, i highly doubt this sentence would appear at all. which is interesting because undoubtedly, so far, kaiser is shown as someone who is as strong if not stronger than isagi. but this, along with the line that kaiser said about him only feeling happy when putting people down, only shows his reluctance in 'fighting' noa. opting to just be in another club to reach the top.

i think this has potential to be read as "kaiser's ego is all about destroying other people" (aka the already corrupted mean girl esque guy get even worse and corrupted) or "kaiser will get schooled by the plot and isagi" (aka character development baby, in 'true? ego awakening' kind of way that might or might not be similar to various bluelockers). but as of now, uber is just ending and rin just appeared again. pxg and backstory not out yet so who knows

back to topic, calling kaiser's ego 'weak' right now is not wrong tho. it is easily bruised—it has been repeatedly so far, by chris and isagi during vs mc as the two most in the face examples.

but on another side, kaiser really is not an all talk guy. he is effective, definitely put himself on a high standard, and is not a lazy player (quite harsh on himself, if that uber goal of his was anything to go by). (personal bias and opinion, but i really hope his character will grow even after NEL. this guy is entertaining as hell to watch and he is like an onion. writing wise, i really like him.)

then there is his vendetta (?) with noa. while how and what their bond truly is hasn't been explicitly shown or talked about, there is definitely an odd, pretty antagonistic relationship as a mentor and a pupil there. noa seems to held a certain expectations for kaiser while kaiser seems to not like when noa meddles or comment on him. (and tbh, while isagi is the one 'chosen' by noa so far, i would be 0 percent surprised if noa in a way 'use' isagi to shape kaiser too. rationality, something something, rivalry, something. i will go back to this after i sleep maybe)

idk how far it goes but this guy sounds like a theater kid and he is dramatic. idk what to do with this.

so far we dont even know his age and height. and it's uber match ending......i will update this list one day. hopefully.

kaiser also has two popular theory going on about his back story. 'really poor like noa (and that's why in that one cover the ball under his feet is dirty)' or 'really rich because he seems pretty spoiled and unknowning of the harsh world (hence his weak ego)'. personally, i think both theories have their strength and weakness. so i will just shut up about this.

but back to kaiser's ego—which seems to be the biggest peek into his personality as a whole so far—i really wonder how will the theme of 'fragile ego' will eventually intertwine with his theme of 'doing the impossible'. like, blue rose, the sheer concept of kaiser impact being that OP, his overall capability in changing the flow of a match—this guy is just a reasonable and believable deus ex machina sometimes, for the lack of better wording.

but, truly, the fact that his friendliness and teasing persona is more of a facade. while the 'truer' part is more angry and cold is just chef's kiss.

it makes one really wonder about his speech about envy to yukimiya and his attitude. like this guy is disgustingly cocky towards those he saw as below him, is bothered when someone goes against him, and really dislike it when someone is better or manage to put him down.

and then there is still his comment about isagi—who still keep going even though kaiser repeatedly prove to him that kaiser is superior. like, again, this guy is so interesting in the way while there are conflicting aspects of him, i genuinely think they make sense. this is the guy who keeps looking up and put a high and harsh standard on himself, all while actively choosing to face people he knows are inferior to him instead of actively going up and clashing against stronger opponent. all while being very very skillful and talented.

while honestly there is a very sad undertone here, if my gut is right, this approach of his is really... cowardly? pathetic? in blue lock setting. like, the fact that he is not the main character aside, with this sort of personality and mindset? yeah no way he is becoming the best in the world.

all in all, a very interesting bastard that is more than what meets the eye. isagi being surprised of his play being so good feels relatable now.

very hc territory, but the classic trope of 'flirty confident guy with issues' being twisted this much is so fun. the issue genuinely makes me squint my eyes.

yeah okay, this guy have issues. i smell insecurities. with high self standard that must be hell. (hc, unconfirmed. still no kaiser backstory or height info or bday in sight so far.)

[farfromstrange]

Hellooo. it's been a while since you posted your stories but im willing to wait! just hope you're doing fine but here's my request, when the reader is Matt's sister and they have an argument one night and she suddenly leaves Matt's apartment, After that, she is taken by human traffickers and gets hurt or something like that (angst pls hehehehe) thank you so much love u. and I hope you're doing well!

Thank you for your request and your kind words, Lovely! This took a while for me to even get to and I am so incredibly sorry for that. This is my first time writing Matt with a Reader that he is not in a romantic relationship with, but I love a good challenge. I hope I got it right the way you imagined it and that I did your idea justice. I'm doing so much better, by the way. I hope you're doing okay and I love you too :)

Brother | Matt Murdock x Sister!Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Sister!Reader

Summary: After a fight with your overprotective brother, you find yourself taken by human traffickers and it is on Matt to save you before something worse can happen to you.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of human trafficking, graphic descriptions of blood, canon typical violence, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 5.7k

A/n: I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be angst with hurt/comfort or without, so I just did it with comfort because I felt like it fit with the direction this story was taking. I hope you like it, nonnie, and I hope the rest of you enjoys it as well. I only have little sisters so I don't really know what it's like to have a brother, but this is fiction and I see Matt as a very protective person, so... enjoy!

Having siblings isn’t easy.

Having an older brother who takes his overprotectiveness as seriously as having a full-time job even less so. It’s not because you had to compete for your parents’ attention as children - Your father passed and you never knew your mother. You grew up in a catholic orphanage and while for some siblings, that might have been the death sentence to their relationship, you and your brother never lost sight of each other. You two are the only family you have left and after suffering the loss of your father, you needed to catch each other. You both felt so alone, your brother more so than you; he’s always been different, which is something that he’s not at fault for, and you’ve been his rock, always being there for him because not many people were able to understand what he went through as a child. It’s a lack of understanding that’s dragged on into his adult years, and while he often told you before that he envies how perceptively “normal” you are, without you, he would have no one. It’s why he is so protective of you, and you get it, you do, but it’s hard and sometimes his behavior can get a bit too overbearing even for your liking - and you can take a lot.

Matt Murdock carries the burden of a dark past and a dark present, a constant reminder of his past that has changed his life forever. At eight years old, he got into an accident that took his eyesight and heightened his other senses to the point it became almost unbearable. And he had never told anyone but you when you were old enough to understand.

You’ve been carrying his secret for as long as you can remember, so when he came to your apartment one night, bloody and bruised and dressed in a black get-up that might as well have been pajamas at that point, you were pissed, of course, but you weren’t surprised. It’s just another secret you have been carrying for him. and perhaps it’s also been for your sake because having to explain to people why your blind brother does rooftop parkour in the middle of the night dressed in a clad black shirt and some jeans is not a discussion you want to have. 

That’s why you’ve never considered yourself anything but normal. You are the normal Matt needs, the normal he has needed especially as a young boy, and in return, he’s made sure to protect you from harm every day ever since you were born. It has nothing to do with heightened senses or disability; he loves unconditionally, and he’s so afraid of losing the last family he has left, he does everything in his power to make sure it doesn’t happen.

At first, you didn’t mind, and you guess you still don’t, but it’s only natural to feel like you’re being controlled at times with a brother who perceives everything, hears and smells everything, and senses danger in every corner of life, even if it’s not real. That’s what gets you, that’s what annoys you and that’s essentially what led you into his apartment that night, frustrated beyond compare. You know he’s your brother and you should be thankful for his support, but some lines should not be crossed, not even by family - and he has really knocked it out of the park this time. 

“I was trying to protect you,” Matt says and you’ve heard the same excuse so many times before, it makes your blood boil. 

“Protect me?” you snap. “By showing up to my date’s workplace in the middle of the night in your silly little Devil suit? Is that what you think protecting someone means? Stalking an innocent guy your sister has been on two dates with and hasn’t even said anything about taking things further than that and putting the fear of God in him?” Your voice is loud and echoes through the apartment. He flinches, the volume hurting his sensitive ears, but you couldn’t care less. 

It’s not the first time he has successfully scared a possible suitor away by being his intimidating himself, but he has never done it in his suit before, let alone threatened a man who has done nothing to you with violence. You were merely experimenting with him, going on a few dates after meeting him online, and he had been nothing but nice to you from the moment you first laid eyes on him in person. Last night though, you received a text from him, telling you that he can’t do this anymore and that you’re over, and it didn’t take you all too long to figure out why he doesn’t want to meet with you anymore. He’s scared, rightfully so, and he hasn’t even done anything to prompt any kind of punishment from the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. But the vigilante is your brother and to him, anyone who even dares to touch you is the enemy in person. 

You accept his lifestyle, you care and you want him to be safe. You’ve never tried to change or stop him the way other people have, but he has also never done anything this extreme before. You know your anger is justified, but the look in his eyes, the stern expression, and the way he places his hands on his hips as if you’re a condescending child make you feel small for no reason; he is the one who should be ashamed, and you refuse to stay down this time. You’re a grown woman and you can take care of yourself. 

Matt raises his eyebrows slightly. “He sounded like bad news,” he says. To him, that is an explanation that suffices. To you, it’s the opposite. 

“And how would you know that?” 

“The way you talked about him… I did some research and I got a bad feeling, so I paid him a visit. I just wanted to make sure you were in the right hands, and it didn’t feel like you were.”

You let out a low groan, “Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!” 

“Language,” he retorts. 

“No, you listen to me, Matthew! I know you care about me, but that doesn’t mean you get to control every aspect of my life as you please,” you say, and your words hit hard. “I’m your sister, not your property, and I deserve privacy. I deserve to make my own mistakes and date people from the internet however the fuck I please, so no! I’m not caving. You were wrong with what you did and you ruined something that could have been possibly beautiful, and I hate you!” 

The last part of your speech is harsh and part of you wants to take it back as soon as you’ve said it, but your vision is blurry red with anger, and taking it back is not something you do, you never have. 

Matt swallows and he calls your name softly. 

“Dad would turn in his grave if he saw what you’ve become.” 

“Hey,” he calls your name again, but the steam coming out of your eyes turns you deaf to his pleas.

You shake your head and grab your back. The adult conversation you planned to have with him went straight out of the window the second you saw the determination in his unfocused eyes, and he’s taken one step too many. 

With a loud huff and a promise to kick his ass if he even thinks about contacting you anytime soon, you storm out of his apartment, the door falling shut behind you. 

Matt is left behind with an aching hole in his chest. He’s angry, he can’t deny that; your words have cut a little too close to him. You know what buttons to push to elicit a reaction, but this was new, even for you. 

You sounded so happy when you told him about this guy you had met online. You went on a few dates and the smile in your voice had been evident as you talked to him on the phone. He told himself he wouldn’t make any hasty decisions, but the more you talked, the more he wondered who this guy was, so he did his research and visited him. He was just trying to be the best brother he could be, and the guy you were talking to seemed a little too perfect. People aren’t perfect. But perhaps he misjudged him. 

Ever since he could remember, his sister’s safety has been Matt’s number one priority. Losing his father so soon and being left with his little sister at Saint Agnes, blind and overwhelmed, had been the worst part of his life, but he made it through. He pushed through the pain because of you. Without you, he wouldn’t have survived. He owed you so much and yet he has failed time and time again to properly show you how grateful he is. Instead, he makes the same mistake over and over again, and now it feels as if he has truly lost you. 

He wanted to keep you safe, but instead, he pushed you away. He hurt you. He broke your heart in a way not even a guy from the internet could break your heart, and it hurts him to even recall the sound of your voice or the words you threw at his face. You had every right to do it, but it still hurts him just the same because you were right - if Jack were here right now, he would be the last person on Matt’s side. 

Having siblings is hard, but being a big brother with trust issues who tends to go overboard to take care of his sister who is more than capable of doing it on her own is even harder. And there is no one to blame but himself. 

He calls out your name to his phone several times that night. He listens for you in the bustling core of the city. He searches Hell’s Kitchen from his apartment for your scent and anything familiar, but he receives no answer. You’re gone. You left him. The one thing he once asked you to never do, you’ve done and the realization becomes frighteningly clear; he has probably lost you over something as small as your dating life, and it’s the most stupid thing he has ever done. 

You leave his apartment with determined steps, deep down knowing you will come back as soon as you’ve both calmed down. You avoid the subway or calling an Uber, reveling in the feeling of the cool night air on your skin. When you cross a particularly dark corner into an alley to take a shortcut, you can hear Matt’s voice in your head telling you to turn around and take a familiar route, but you’re angry and you want to go home. You need to get out of your head, so you take the road less traveled - In hindsight, you should have listened to Matt’s voice in your head because even though he is infuriating, he is often right, even if he’s just taking the form of your common sense. 

The way out of the alley is suddenly blocked by two large men, their shoulders broader than two of your heads next to each other. You grab your bag, reaching for the maze Matt always insists you carry with you. You’re an idiot, you realize; you switched your bag that morning, forgetting to transfer the small bottle from your old to the new one, and your bag is empty when you reach into it. 

You try to remember the self-defense techniques from your training at Fogwell’s, but soon enough, there’s an entire crowd of men in that dark alley and you swallow. You should have listened to your brother. 

“Fuck,” you curse under your breath. 

There is no way you are going to make it out of this one. 

By lunch the next day, Matt still hasn’t heard from you. He’s pacing his office, he fans out his hearing, he tries to reach you through email, even, but there is no sign of life from your end. The number of times he has texted and demanded that you get back to him, and just let him know you’re okay, is probably in the hundreds. By the time the clock strikes twelve, he grabs his coat and storms out. 

Foggy shouts after him, but he doesn’t turn around. He takes the subway to your apartment and knocks. No answer. He climbs over the fire escape onto the roof and tries to get into your apartment that way. You lack security, he knows that. When he reaches your apartment, the place is silent. Except for the steady dripping of the broken faucet, there is nothing that would suggest someone is even living there. You didn’t pack any clothes, your suitcase is still in your closet and the fish you insist on keeping haven’t been fed in a whole day. Considering you came to him straight from work the other night, he makes the connection between you leaving his apartment and never even reaching yours in the first place, and that’s when the panic officially sets in. 

With one swift motion of his hand, he wipes your dining table clean. The mail you’ve kept on it falls to the floor and he lets out a frustrated shout. Everything smells like you, but your heartbeat is missing. You’re gone, but you didn’t leave - you’re gone and you haven’t come home, your friends don’t know where you are, and when he calls into your work, they say you haven’t come in all day; you’re gone and it’s then that he knows something is terribly wrong and you are very likely in danger. A danger he has put you in by being the oaf of a brother you often call him. You’re in danger because he chose to interfere with your life once again, acting as if you’re a teenager and not a grown woman, and that made you so angry, you felt the need to leave the safety of his home, and now you’re gone because of that, because of him. He tears at his hair. Damn it, he thinks, and he instantly starts to hate himself again. But is it really again if he’s never stopped hating himself?

He answers Foggy’s call with his chest still heaving and he tells him what happened in one short sentence, and except for your name and that you’ve possibly been kidnapped because of his enemies, there’s not much else he needs to give his friend the day off. He tells him to find you and call as soon as he’s found you and knows you’re okay. Because Foggy cares. Foggy is your friend, too. But Foggy isn’t Matt, and he isn’t made for the fight his friend is about to embark on as soon as the sun starts to set. 

Matt sees red. He’s not even sure where to start, he only knows he needs to find you. He needs to make up for what he did because he refuses to lose you. A fight can’t be the last conversation he has ever had with you, and he definitely couldn’t live with himself if the life he leads on the side somehow gets his sister hurt or worse, killed even. He loves you more than life itself and he owes it to you and his father to make sure you make it back safely to him. That’s what he promises all those years ago, and this is anything but your fault. 

Twenty-four hours have never felt longer. You wake up with the cold metal of a pair of handcuffs digging into the sensitive skin of your wrists. The pain that spreads through your skull is sharp and you can feel the heat of blood dripping down your scalp. 

“What the-” you groan when you lift your head. 

The room was dimly lit, the air thick with the stench of blood and sweat. When you open your eyes, your vision is blurry. For a second, you wonder where you are, then the realization sinks in; the men in the alley, their disgusting grins, and then the blow to the back of your head that has left you incapacitated for God knows how long. 

You struggle against the chains that keep you bound, but the metal is strong. Bruises adorn your body. Your clothes are torn in various places, but you’re still dressed and it seems like no one has touched you, which settles your nerves a bit, but the fear still bubbles up in you and fills the air with the scent of your sweat. 

As minutes turn into agonizing hours, your bones start to ache from the position, and you're tired, but sleep is the last thing on your dizzy mind. You have lost all track of space and time, no one has come to see you, you haven't received any water or food and all of your screams for help have met deaf ears or no ears at all. Your voice is sore at this point, and you give up on yelling because it is of no use, and Matt has taught you better. 

Your mind races with thoughts of finding an escape, but the truth is, you are not your brother and he once told you never to do anything stupid. You're not as trained as him, you're not a vigilante and you shouldn't even be in this position, but you are, and it sucks. You never thought it possible that you would truly end up in front of the gun at some point, even though Matt has warned you many times before and it's the part of his superhero life that has him worry even more than a normal brother. Perhaps that is why he overreacted, and perhaps you should have thought about it twice before shouting at him and being mean to him, knowing your words will stay with him for a long time; he likes to blame himself and you gave him material for days. Knowing you might die makes you regret your words and the tone of your voice because damn it, you love your brother and you can't bear to leave him alone, let alone leave him with the guilt of your possible death at the hands of people you don't even know or understand why they have taken you in the first place. 

The reality of the situation weighs heavily on you. Tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. Though you bite your cheek, shake your head, and try once again to break free of your chains. If you want to get out alive, crying isn't getting you anywhere, and you wouldn't be a Murdock if you weren't ready to fight for your freedom. You are a tough son of a bitch, but a lot of people underestimate that. If you can be tough now, you're not sure, but you have to try. 

Just when you think you can't bear it any longer, the creaky door to your holding place creaks open, revealing the silhouette of a man. It's the same man from the shadow in the abandoned alley Fear clenches at your heart, fear you try your best to swallow as he approaches you with his steel black boots, his footsteps echoing ominously in the room. The man kneels to your height, meeting your sour gaze that you throw him, and his eyes bore into yours, both of them filled with pure malice and mocking curiosity.

“Such a pretty thing,” he coos. 

God, you want to bite him, but not in a friendly way. 

He smiles, his teeth yellow in the dim lighting of the room - you now suspect it’s an abandoned warehouse at the docks, hearing the soft waves of the Hudson outside through the door he just came in through. Men, a young woman, and a warehouse at the docks can only mean one thing, and it makes you shiver. 

“You know how much money I would get for a pretty face and body like yours?” he asks, and his laugh at your shocked expression sends even more shivers down your spine. He grabs your chin and you hiss like a snake, trying to bite his finger off, but he is strong and he’s more amused than scared. “Feisty, I like it. Tell me, has Daredevil taught you that?”

The name catches the breath in your throat. 

“You’re mixed up with him, aren’t you? That’s why he cares so much?”

How he knows, you’re not sure. Your smart remark gets lost in translation when he grips your face tighter and seethes, “Answer me!”

You hate this man with a passion. 

“Fuck you!” you spit back. 

His palm lands flat across your cheeks and you flinch. “Let’s try this again. I know you know Daredevil. Now, the how is not important here,” he says. “What's important is that you tell me the truth or this thing gets real ugly real fast and you're gonna be on a ship to Russia in the next thirty minutes. I suggest you don't waste my time. Tell me, sweetie, how well do you know him?"

You stay silent, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response. You can't sell out your brother, even if it would save your life and a journey to Russia to be sold into sex slavery, most likely. Telling them about Matt would blow your cover, too, and that would cause even more problems. Besides, you hate this man and you are not going to play his games, no matter how scared you are. Still, his words hit a nerve. A big one. 

"I don't know him," you say. "And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you." You’re surprised your voice sounds as steady as it does, but you’re glad because it shows you’re not scared, making you a worthy opponent and stalling, which is exactly what you need. 

You have never been as religious as Matt, but this time, you pray to the God you were taught to believe in that he will let the devil out to find you, and that soon. 

The man’s breath reeks of cigarettes and whiskey when he leans down. "Oh, I think you will," he slaps you again, "You see, we have ways of making people talk. And trust me, sweetheart, you won't enjoy it."

The palm of his hand soon turns into his fist. You whimper but stay quiet. Your defiance earns you a kick with his steel boot right to your ribs, and you momentarily lose focus and ear, and you can feel consciousness slipping from you as something seems to burst inside of you. Blood trickles from your split lip as your vision turns into a stormy ocean and a dull throbbing echoes through your head. With each question that goes unanswered, another body part becomes the target of his torment. Your bones ache, your throat hurts and the blood covers half of your face now. He's broken your nose in several places, that much you know, and you're sure he's managed to break your little finger. Your ribs are bruised if not fractured, too, and something inside of you is screaming as it burns through your organs. You're sure there is blood in your stomach. Even through all of it though, you stay quiet. You don't answer, you simply endure. 

“Is that really how much you care about him?” the man pants, his fist raining down on you once more. “That you’d die for him?” 

Your eye is swollen and tears gather in both of them as you look up at him. You hold his gaze, the blood from your mouth landing in a pool of spit at his feet. 

“I’m far from dead,” you croak out.

His fist lands on your temple this time. The liquid multiplies. Hot blood trickles down your face and your neck, painting a gruesome picture on the floor below you. You can barely see with the broken flesh of your face, barely move with your broken bones, and your muscles ache from trying not to fall over. You can’t pass out. 

You remember the one time as a child when you accidentally knocked your head after falling off of your bike and Matt was there, telling you to focus on your surroundings so you won’t lose consciousness. You do so. You refuse to let the man win, you refuse to let them take you. You need to win. 

With each hit, it gets harder to stay awake. You force yourself to count the dirt on the walls, but as your eyes start swelling shut completely, the first tears start to fall. You are so tired, you can see the light behind your eyelids. You can see your dad and the faint silhouette of your grandma. You’ve missed them. They tell you to fight, but at the same time, their arms are wide open and telling you it’s okay, you won’t be alone. You can’t fight forever, and in some wars, you just can’t win. At least if you die before they can ship you off, you won’t end up in Russia and they will never find Matt. 

Just as despair is starting to consume you completely and you are more than ready to give up, there is a clanging sound at the other end of the room, metal on metal. Something hard hits the floor, followed by a series of grunts that travel from the docks into the warehouse. The man's grip on you vanishes, replaced by the sound of more bodies hitting the floor, hard. You blink through the haze, suddenly wide awake again, your eyes widening as you recognize the shadow in the distance. Your fear of death subsides, replaced by the dull feeling of relief as salvation stands before you. 

“Oh, thank God,” you say. 

He rushes to your side, calling your name in a hushed yet hurried tone. He's worried sick, you can tell. He can smell the blood and hear your erratic heartbeat. Your breathing is labored as the broken rib digs into your flesh, and you're sure your lung is about to collapse with all the fluid inside, but you don't care. He's here. He's found you. 

"Matt?" you ask as if you can't believe it when he touches you. The lower part of his face turns into a smile, but something wet trickles down the inside of his mask and onto his lip. A tear. His tongue darts out and he licks it away, trying to hide the fact that he is both dying inside and relieved to have found you. 

His touch is gentle as he carefully frees you from the handcuffs with a simple tug at the metal. He catches you when you lose balance, wrapping his arms around you. “I’ve got you,” he says, his voice almost as hoarse and broken as yours. 

He has found you, but the state you’re in breaks his heart. 

“You’re safe now. I’m here.”

Feeling his arms around you instead of the hands that were set out to hurt you before breaks the dam you've been holding up all this time. The tears start streaming down your battered face as you cling to him. Your strength descends into vulnerability. 

“I thought I’d never see you again,” you sob into his shoulder. “I was so scared. They wanted to get to you and I refused to tell them, but I was so close… Oh, God, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He holds you even tighter, feeling your skin for the injuries that lie beneath. “Shh, don’t apologize,” he says. “You didn’t do anything wrong. This is my fault, not yours.”

You shudder. 

Matt holds you tighter, his voice choked with his own tears. "I'm so sorry. I should have protected you better. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy and I shouldn't have let you leave. If I hadn't... You mean everything to me. I'm so sorry."

“No,” you whimper, “don’t say that. It’s okay.”

“It’s not. You’re hurt. Jesus-” He can feel your broken ribs, the shifting of your nose, and smell the copper of your blood. 

“Language.”

For a moment, he chokes on his tears and chuckles before holding you close again. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me, Matty.”

“Never.” He moves so he can hold your face in his hands, pressing your forehead together. “You’re my sister,” he says, “and I’m always going to protect you with my life. I promise you, I won’t ever let this happen to you again.”

You nod weakly. 

“Over my dead body,” he says. 

“Please don’t say that,” another fresh wave of tears escaped your eyes. 

He wipes your bloody cheeks. “I’m sorry. For everything.” 

You shake your head as you respond, “It’s okay.”

“It’s only okay when you’re okay, and you’re not.”

You feel so fragile in his arms, he cradles you like broken glass to his chest. "We're getting you out of here," Matt says softly,  "I won't let them hurt you anymore. Just hold on a little longer. We'll get you out and then I'll get you to the hospital, I promise."

You nod weakly. He carefully lifts you into his arms, mindful of your injuries, and begins to navigate through the warehouse, relying on his instincts entirely.

A few hours later, you find yourself draped in an uncomfortable hospital gown and forced to stay the night. Matt is often reckless with his own injuries, but for you, he would even threaten the safety of his identity. He got Claire to catch you in front of Metro General, and she was more than nice to you. Now though, you're alone in the poorly decorated hospital room, and the loneliness creeps up your spine like a parasite. You curl into a ball and stare at the door, waiting until the clock strikes a full hour for the person you need the most to strut through the door. 

He is right on time. Matt made a promise and he's made sure to keep it. There he stands in clothes that nowhere near resemble the suit he left at home. It's just him in his red glasses, but the poor yellow lighting casts a sad glow onto his face. 

His steps are heavy, burdened by the weight of his perceived failures. As he enters the room, he removes his glasses, and the gates open wide. You extend a trembling hand toward him. "Matthew," you say softly, "Come here." His sobs are silent, but they shatter your already bruised heart. He takes your hand and you pull him close and to your side. "I know you think you're a bad person, but that's not true," you tell him, trying your best to keep your tears at bay, but seeing him so broken makes it an impossible task. "You're my brother, and I love you more than anything."

The pain in your voice stirs something within him.

"This is not your fault, okay? Listen to me! When I said Dad would turn in his grave," you continue, your voice barely above a whisper and it cracks straight through when he whimpers behind his closed lips, "I didn't mean it. He would be so proud of you," you say. "I get it now, why you did what you did. I'm so sorry... you're not a bad person, you're my hero."

Tears still streaming down his face, Matt climbs into the hospital bed beside you. Back at the orphanage, he would do it every time you were sick. He would find his way into your room and climb into your bed, holding you close, sometimes even receiving the same stories your father would tell; they weren't all that creative, but they were the memories of your childhood that have stuck with you. Matt cradles you gently, seeking comfort in the familiar embrace, and you do the same. Your tears mingle with his as you hold each other, crying silently in each other's arms, both because guilt is a treacherously heavy feeling and because you have never been more relieved to find yourself in a hospital bed than you are at that moment. It means you're safe, and safe is what you want to be. 

You sniffle eventually and squeeze his hand. "I love you," you say, and then add, a bit more sheepishly, "Bro." 

Matt finds a low laugh deep in his chest and lets it out. "I love you too, sis," he says, and he mimics the tone of your voice.

As your tears begin to subside, you find solace in the warmth of Matt's embrace. The hospital room, with its sterile walls and fluorescent lighting, fades into the background as you focus on your brother's heartbeat beneath your ear.

Time stands still, and the weight of the world seems to lift ever so slightly. Just for a moment, but a moment is enough for you to finally breathe. You take a second and just breathe, just for a moment. You need it. 

Eventually, you both find the strength to pull away slightly, though your hands remain intertwined. Matt makes sure you are comfortable, tucks you in, and kisses your forehead. It's your childhood all over again, but it's the kind of nostalgia you need to stay alive, stay sane, and push through the hell you've endured. Matt's red-rimmed eyes meet yours. "We're going to get through this," he says,  "Together." It's the same thing he has said many times before, and somehow he has always managed to be right, so you don't doubt for a second that you can believe him. 

You nod. "Together," you agree. 

The hospital room may be devoid of comfort and familiarity, but it's better than the warehouse Matt rescued you from. Lying side by side, you find solace in the presence of your brother, your hero. He has always been your hero, sometimes you simply forget. 

With a final squeeze of your hand, Matt whispers, "Rest now. You have a lot of healing to do."

But it's not just you, it is both of you. Together, as you said. The sounds of the hospital start fading into the background, replaced by the steady rhythm of your breathing and you slowly but finally find yourself drifting into the abyss of sleep.

[coolspacequips]

I think it's so reductive to say Shuro only liked falin while disliking laios bc he wanted to "fuck her", kind of a bad faith read and needlessly crass like...

It's a good point that ppl react to autistic traits differently depending on how attractive they perceive a person, but I think what happened w shuro and laios is a larger conversation about how boy autism manifests and is treated vs girl autism, a conversation I've seen gaining traction re: the fact that ppl filter their Perception of autism thru a male white filter, and that girls have a drastically lower rate of being clocked early if at all, and that ppl struggle to even conceive of say a brown girl w autism (this of course being in the simplest language without getting into a more complex look at genders and other social dynamics and how that intersects w neurodivergence)

Also along those lines, I think it's a larger conversation on how men socialize vs women, stereotypically. Of course men feel deeper feelings than they are often given credit for, for patriarchal bullshit reasons. It's common for ppl to express that "men don't need/want to talk about their feelings", which they do and benefit from of course, but that doesn't remove the fact that they often are socialized not to, and don't always get the support they need to talk about them well. It's a common thing and used to be a common media trope that bad tension might simmer between two guys, then they get into a physical fight and the air is cleared and they are friends again, hell it happens it shonen all the time, and in text that's a version of what happened with Shuro and laios. They didn't know how to discuss it, things came to an emotional head in a charged moment, they threw hands for a bit, then that release cleared Shuro's head enough to reconsider his perceptions and the two have a much more level conversation.

This of course all without touching on how I and a lot of others read Shuro to be autistic as well, and how lots of fans are determined to read him in as bad as faith as possible and can once again only clock white boy autism, where laios gets a pass for any boundary pushing that he does, but Shuro is evil for not being able to express or understand some of his feelings until they come out at crit mass, or struggling social conventions

This also discredits his feelings for falin so much where I get everyone wants to hate him for being het or whatever, but I get the impression that he saw the things that were strange about falin and liked her because of those things, that she was someone who was kind to him without the same over the top energy that overstimulates him when it comes to laios, and having shown no romantic interest in anyone in the past, fell in love. He isn't creeping on her and trying to see her body and grope her for comedy beats or anything, we see him looking at her with eyes full of love as she plays w a bug she found on the ground, and we know she saved him from a nightmare in the past, which we saw involves waking someone from a dream about their greatest trauma and helping them cope with it. This stance that he's just trying to fuck her undermines these things, misinterprets what is overall a pretty chaste romance, and cheapens the fact that falin is THAT LOVABLE. He loved her because she's lovable, and despite having a horrible childhood where she was assigned no worth, the reality is that a group of people love her so deeply as to risk everything, which is something you often kind of wish for when you were an ostracized nd person like she was

IDK this whole post is a rambling unedited mess I just saw some post about this that pissed me off LMAO IDK why this fandom is so determined to deny shuro any personhood, I try to just brush this discourse off but it's hard when the topics of discourse can remind u how rampant fandom racism is constantly 😔

[lazareneblessing]

bursts in with two extra large iced coffees. you should tell us more about aiden 🤲🫶

OMG HIIII TEHEHE TWIRLS HAIR. so. aiden infodump!!

legal name aiden december, he's a galliard who ended up joining the hart wardens. he's kind of scrawny and doesn't have all that much going for him except for his strangely powerful personality. got that deer in the headlights swag. he has been plagued by strange visions since birth so he was a very peculiar and off-putting child and his parents did NOT wanna put up with his ass. so he fell in with a bad crowd of equally peculiar and off-putting fellas and started dealing to be financially independent and get the fuck away from home but oops he started Abusing Substances. all that earned him a stay at juvie after which clay first contacted him. at that point he has been homeless/no contact with his parents for like 2 years and clay taunted him into confronting them during which his first change happened and his parents ended up splattered all over the house. RIP! very sad. either way he joined the beaver pack and all he got from that was going clean so like, good for him? but scraper and clay were awful and nasty to him as they are, and he kind of just took it because he believed he owed them. tapping into his spiritual side with black tarn was a big big big step for him, it meant so much to learn that he's not literally insane and that all of this is Real. he may not be a theurge but he has a very strong intuition and could tap into the umbra even before learning the proper rites tehehe.

so that's for pre-book backstory ig? personality-wise as i mentioned he is very much spiritual, he respects the spirits and believes in garou's mission of balancing the two realities they exist in. despite that he has a lot of faith in humanity and does remarkably well in social settings - he works at byzance as a barista :3 and just in general he is pretty extroverted. and he cares about everyone so so much... he is such a pack hypeman like he has a way with words and enough conviction behind them to get the gang GOING !! he is however rather timid and lowkey most of the time. he's hella patient and not quick to anger at all - he represses his rage a lot because he's a control freak and doesn't want a repeat of what happened during his first change. he's super perceptive and has a keen eye for details, especially stuff that other people might overlook, which makes him a great investigator - but also pisses off stormcat because he keeps asking her questions about the damnest things LMAOOOO. when he can't rely on his personality, he generally uses his wits to get out of bad situations. because his physical stats are shit. all he has going on there is his decent knife-throwing.

when it comes to relationships :333 he's close to his whole pack tbh but there's a lot of different dynamics happening so let me get into it a bit.

so starting off strong with elton he's the love of his life <3 aiden was SO suspicious of how much kindness elton was showing him at first, thinking that since he's a shadow lord he has some ulterior motives, but very quickly he realised that elton is just a big big nerdy softie LOL. they became quick friends during the month long lockdown daphne put them under, between investigating together, getting burritos and just hanging out reading and exchanging notes on each other's books at elton's flat. they have a very similiar dry humor and a shared interest in spirituality and occult, both garou and human, AND generally they employ similiar methods in dealing with various problems so that also created a lot of mutual understanding between them. aiden is way more considerate of humanity though, so they do balance each other in that regard. like idk aiden looks up to him so much and thinks he's so cool but also sweet <3 and he brought so much life into elton's life. and then they started kissing with tongue and calling each other mate romantically. like bros do. idk theres so much about them....

nin and aiden the breadwinners of the pack... i don't have as many elaborate thoughts here because aiden just loves nin so much they were also very quick friends, like they're fully understanding of each other's quirks and hang out a lot. probably play video games together because aiden is canonically a gamer. they hang out and maintain the woods a lot together it's a fun time :3

melodie genuinely intimidated aiden at first quite a lot despite the fact that he was the one to rescue her from a pumpkin cult, like she just has that aura about her. they quickly bonded because aiden was super inquisitive about the three families, harmonie and all the stuff the broad brook caern was up to. melodie thinks his cooking is terrible but she will still turn up unannounced at his cabin to steal it

podge and aiden are literally girl so confusing coded. there's a lot there. i think a lot of it comes from how podge is just very proactive in everything he does and like jumps into insane shenenigans no thoughts just full on ballistic and aiden is like uhm maybe we should actually consider our options here maybe we should try the stealthy route maybe we should consult the spirits first... like on a principle he agrees with podge on a LOT of things like hell yeah lets kill this fucking ceo however maybe lets not just bomb the whole building because there will be way too much collateral damage and also we do not need cops on our ass we gotta be SMART about it. podge disagrees. they really should work it out on a remix. because they do vibe they're like both more silly than serious :3 and they also care about humanity :3 and theyre roommates… ohmy god they were roommates. but they dont smooch bcuz aiden is down horrendously

uhhh gosh that's about it? if you have any more specific questions abt him :3 pls do ask he's my pookie ultimate recently

[twsthottakes]

imma be honest.... I'm quite pissed that Silver x Idia is not that famous. No it's not because I think this ship is better than the other yadda yadda.... it's just I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SILIDIA FOOD TO FEAST :(((((((((((((( So if any artist/writer sees this and u see a potential between them... give it to me *gremlin noises* also pray for my wallet so one day I could commission my ship instead of weeping anonly thankyouuuurrr<3<3<3<3<3

HELPPP-

I'm personally more of an Azul enjoyer, but as a fellow rare pair fan, I absolutely get where you're coming from. And Silidia seems like a really interesting pairing! Two introverted people, and yet their perception on others is completely different, with Silver viewing others in a much more positive light than Idia.

While I absolutely understand your plight, if you haven't written or drawn anything for them yet, you might want to try! I used to feel the same way about a rarepair of mine, actually. Specifically, how it felt like all the authors for that ship clearly liked one character more. And I thought no one out of even the very few people who wrote for it would be interested in seeing anything I had to share, because 1. I wasn't confident in my own writing abilities (partially due to my age and lack of experience writing) and 2. The particular ideas I had were quite unpopular, not only rarepair centered but also favoring the character who most fans didn't favor.

But then, I was met with the pleasant surprise of people actually giving me a chance! People read my fics, and commented on them telling me how much they liked it! It was kind of crazy in a good way.

So yeah, if you haven't already, you might want to give making your own stuff a chance. You might even end up inspiring others and getting them into your ship!

But hey, not everyone likes writing or drawing, and if you already make stuff for your ship, this whole ramble was just a load of hot air. So take a complimentary Silidia drabble (below the cut) and see if my writing's even good enough for me to be listened to.

"So Ganyu's DPS seems good, but considering the powercreep, and how OP dendro is-"

The feeling of something soft on his shoulder stopped Idia.

"E-Eh, Silver...?"

It was Silver. Silver just fell asleep on his shoulder.

Silver just fell asleep on his shoulder. Silver just-

Fuck. Was this a special event or a final boss? Idia could barely tell.

"Ortho," he whispered. Would Silver wake up if he was too loud? Wait, no. Silver was a heavy sleeper. That was clear enough from how Idia's overheating hadn't woken him up yet.

Wait, no. Ortho was out with Ace-shi. He wasn't here to help.

Wait, but what would he even help with? Getting Silver to wake up? Doing that was getting the chance to unlock an extra-rare special event and just throwing it away! Only some weirdo who thought speedrunning a VN—wait, no, Idia'd done that before—would do that. But irl romance wasn't something Idia wanted to speedrun! It wasn't even something he even thought he'd get to have!

Motion. Fuck, w-was Silver waking up? Did Idia's overheating really get to him?

"Idia..."

"S-Sorry, I-"

"I love you too, Idia."

Huh? Where'd that even come from?

"Yes, our wedding was quite lovely, Idia. However, I must admit, your decision for a Cowboy theme certainly caught me off-guard."

Just a dream, then. Never mind.

W-Wait a second, they were married? Just in the dream, but still! They were married in there? Silver thought of them doing that?

Heh, he must've really seen their relationship going places, then.

Idia definitely didn't smile like some sappy romcom love interest at that. He did, however, calm down just a bit.

This was actually pretty based.

[hunter-sylvester]

Do you think Eddie Munson and Hunter would be friends? I’ve seen some people say yes, and some say no. I feel like Hunter would lowkey hate Eddie at first, then (very) slowly warm up to him.

I mean, yeah. I think they would, and I agree that it would take Hunter a while to warm up to Eddie. That’s basically how I wrote the progression of their friendship in Does it get better?

In DIGB it's a situation that's created by a few unfortunate social mishaps. (Eddie asking about something Hunter feels embarrassed about & making a slightly mean joke that just hits Hunter like a truck because of factors Eddie doesn't know about.)

Aside: There might be a fair bit of referencing to DIGB in this. I wrote a 27k word crossover fic of Metal Lords and Stranger Things, so a lot of my thoughts about their possible dynamic have ended up in that.

I do think that regardless of circumstance, Hunter just needs a bit of time to warm up to people in general. We kind of see that with Emily in the film. It's also something I've discussed when I was asked if I thought Hunter would get along with Ema & Spoon from Harlan Coben's Shelter.

I said he might see Ema as a threat in that previous answer. And I do think Hunter is someone that just easily feels threatened. He never feels safe. He's just like me fr And I could definitely see Hunter initially perceiving Eddie as a threat too. He's loud, he's cool, he's older.

We know Eddie's a nice guy but he's somewhat intimidating by design. For the same reason Hunter wants to be but I think there's more truth behind it with Eddie. Partially because of the time-period his canon takes place in, Eddie has just lived a much harsher life than Hunter. At the very least harsh in a different way.

And I do think that comes across in his general energy. I mean we see it in the show too, like he's a scaredy cat but when pushed into a corner he will defend himself. I think with more success than Hunter. Where Eddie flees or fights, Hunter freezes. Think of the way Hunter just 'lets' Skip drag him around at Clay's party. Not trying to victim blame, I think it's a panic response. But he has the survival instincts of a spoiled housecat. Eddie is more of an alley cat in this analogy.

I think Hunter would also just find Eddie a bit overwhelming initially. But because of how little introspection he has, he would somehow make that an "Eddie sucks" thing. And he'd lash out and/or hedgehog* in response.

*hedgehog moments or 'hedgehogging' is basically when someone feels threatened so they metaphorically curl up and stick their spines out in a reflexive attack to keep themselves safe. (I don't know if it's a term anybody but me and my friends use but it makes sense in my head)

As for Eddie's side of things I feel like he might initially think Hunter is just a bit of a brat (in the spoiled kid way not the other way this time). I mean one of the reasons Eddie thought Steve would be a douche was his parents being rich. It makes sense that might contribute to the same perception being applied to Hunter.

It's also arguably more true for Hunter. He IS a financially spoiled little fucker. The only way his dad knows how to try to make him happy is to buy him things. Broken his leg on stage? New guitar.

He doesn't know how to "comfort" him any other way. (and it's a piss-poor way of "comforting" your child btw) Aside: I also think Alan might have felt guilty for dropping Hunter in rehab just cause he didn't know what to do with him. So then having him get hurt right after would've only exacerbated that hence the $3.3k guitar as a "sorry, promise I probably love you, son"

But I do think that once the two come to more of an understanding and actually get to know each other properly they could be a chaos factory and a half. (I have a few WIP fics on the backburner that delve into that actually.) I mean Eddie does like Mike, who is a bit of a dick so he might also not have too much of a problem with Hunter being a dick. In any case, I think most of the "needing time" would be from Hunter's side.

Aside: I think especially a bit of maturing will help Hunter go a long way. Being seventeen ain't easy. I just think Hunter will start to become a lot more comfortable within himself in his twenties.

But in any case, I do think Hunter & Eddie would like each other after overcoming those hurdles. Which I also ultimately think they would overcome.

And I'm actually very attached to the idea that Hunter & Eddie would develop a sort of pseudo mentor/older brother dynamic. Which I think Hunter would actually really benefit from. As extensively established, his parents suck. (so do Eddie's tbf)

So I think having someone there to kind of fill a role adjacent to guidance would really help him. And having that be another metalhead is kind of important. Since Hunter's special interest is obviously metal and it's the framework he uses to make sense of the world. It really needs to be someone that speaks his language.

Aside: I'm always working within the concept that Eddie and Hunter are roughly as far apart in age as they are in their respective canon. As in: Eddie is 19/20 in canon, Hunter is 17 in canon. So if Hunter is aged up to 20, then Eddie is in his mid twenties. I'm not talking about this in a "Eddie was alive in the 80's and is now 50-something" kind of way.

Also a D&D game ran by Eddie with Hunter as a player would be fucking wild. If he can keep the friendly fire to a minimum I think they might enjoy playing D&D together a lot. Then again, Eddie's campaign was referred to as "sadistic" by Dustin, so maybe he wouldn't even mind the friendly fire lmao

I feel like this one is a little disjointed, I'm kind of all over the place mentally but I hope you still got something out of it, Blue Anon ^-^🤘

And as always, thank you for asking 🖤

[herofics]

Do you think you could do Bakugou, Shinsou and Monoma with a reader who's like Ranpo Edogawa. Like reader is older but shorter, plus quirkless but extremely smart and childish.🙇‍♀️

I just finished rewatching Bungou Stray Dogs a few weeks ago, and I finally feel like writing this. It's platonic, since the reader is older than them by like 10 years or something, and I just feel like platonic fits better in this case. I didn’t do Monoma, since I couldn’t come up with anything for him

~Bakugou Katsuki~

•You met at Bakugou’s first internship when he was with Best Jeanist and you were working with the police on a case that they also helped with

•You told him you’d seen him at the sports festival and you also noted that he definitely has some serious anger issues

•You’re very direct and don’t really ever consider something you say might offend someone

•Bakugou is not easily offended, even if he does start yelling at you about it, because you seem like a person that really gets on people’s nerves, him included

•You accompany him and Jeanist back to the agency, because you’re interested in seeing more of this funny kid

•Also you don’t know how to get back to the police station to give your report so someone has to take you

•Jeanist assigns Bakugou to this task, figuring he can’t do too much damage on a simple escort assignment

•He’s marching towards the nearest police station with you on his heels, asking him all kinds of questions

•You keep mentioning his anger issues and wondering what made him “such an entitled, angry brat”

•Something you say hits a nerve and Bakugou grabs you by the collar and tells you to shut the fuck up

•You’re like “What? It’s true isn’t it?”

•You’re of course right but Bakugou doesn’t understand how you could’ve known that

•Bakugou lets go of your collar and keeps stomping to where you were going to

•You’re quiet for like two seconds before telling him you need to buy something and just walk into the corner store

•Bakugou is pissed because you’re acting like a kid, while being weirdly intuitive and smart at the same time, so he doesn’t really know what to make of you

•You come out of the store with your pockets almost overflowing with candy and other snacks

•When you make it to the police station, you go give your report and Bakugou leaves, stomping back to the Jeanist agency

•Bakugou is oddly bothered by your remarks about his anger issues and attitude problems, probably because no one has really ever said it straight to his face like that

•Also he thinks you’re really fucking weird and childish

~Shinsou Hitoshi~

•You’re a friend of Aizawa’s, which is how Shinsou met you

•You’re pretty much the same height as him and you look pretty close to his age, so he asked if Aizawa was mentoring you too

•You kind of laughed and told him that you were friends and you were actually closer to Aizawa’s age

•You’re there to watch Shinsou’s training and give him some pointers, so you’re just sitting on the grass and eating your snacks while telling him how to hone his technique

•Shinsou honestly finds you to be a bit annoying, even though you do give really good advice and he does actually improve his technique

•You’re way too perceptive for your own good, at least with some things

•Like you make connections between things so fast it’s unbelievable, but your sense of direction is nonexistent and you’re pretty childish

•Shinsou appreciates your advice, even though you have a pretty weird way of giving it and you’re not very nice about noting his mistakes

•You mean well, even if you’re sort of bad at communicating it

[away-ward]

hey 👋

Sliding in our conversation for ask and answered 288, because i'll diverge from kai's mbti and your response to it in another ask, to compare and contrast some other things. (And im sorry about that but of you also being infp haha! Dont worry, i like INFPs! 😂🫶)

"Also please put the reference where Kai when behind Michael’s back with his gf because I have blanked on this!! This little petty jerk." it's in chapter two hideaway. I think that chapter alone in general sums up kai's earliest personality, and his opinion/dynamic of people, including damon and michael's pretty spot on with his type. Like he view people a certain way, and that opinion is harder to change. BUT it doesnt come out of nowhere, damon did his part, and kai was onky reacting to what he see. But then it made a great contrast with emory who i feel like is more perceptive and observant of how dmaon move, because i swear idk it's just me but by the end of nightfall, when damon gave back her tin box, his personality seems a bit muted? So i can see why when damon was beside emory, he seems less aggressive. No because he wasnt aggressive anymore, it's just that his sparring match might be an equal or more. i feel like thats why characters like rika and banks pop off in damons pov, because he gets to be he one shining and in control. Heh, interesting! Just wanna add that that chapter also kinda makes me think that prison didnt change kai mori drastically, his mischief had already existed since he was young. Rules rules rules. Breaking rules. Being dirty. We dont see this from emory's pov. Emory didnt react much when it comes to "dirty" or "taboo" things. We only see self interest, duties, care, pride, arrogance, indulgence and class consciousness in her pov, or at least, mostly. People around her was the one who assumed that she was embarrassed. Like alex in the train and thats a good comparison because alex's ex roommate was embarrassed of their FF hookup and alex was ashamed because of it, but at the bridal meeting with the girl gang, the thought of shame didnt even exist in emmy's pov. So was the shame that aydin tried to make her feel. Then Like will in the rain thinking she was embarrassed of him, like damon telling will how emmy thought of them when he thought she looked down on him for the wrong reasons, she looked down on him because he was hurting people, not because he was embarrassing.

Funny because i feel like damon carried some shame there too because if he didnt care that she thought he wasnt good and wanting to be good, then his characterisation 1. wouldnt involve him being obssessed with befriending kai, loving winter, and doing good. Because he wanted to be like them too, doing good WITH them, 2. being obsessed of being around will because he was pure, and was tiny bit jealous with how he interacts with women, dreaming about the kind of man he could be if he grew up like will. And we saw him intiating his interaction with women he cared about as the story goes on and 3. Getting out-of-his-way pissed off at emory because he thought she viewed will (and by extension, him) as nothing. Like a deadweight, shallow and no hope. For a character as selfish as damon, it's impossible to say that he was only angry at the girls because they made his guys unhappy, because damon thrive around people he loves and want to care for. Have you thought of this possibilty? Even damon's closing arc was about doing good with winter and building the world with rika and banks. Damon needs and actually wanted to be around people like kai, will and emory in his life too whether he wanted to admit it out loud. Beause they also resemble a part of his life that's good and impressive that he wish for himself and the people around him. anyway, back to the point of that shame thing, emmy didnt agree with aydin when aydin slut shamed alex in BC, like how emmy didnt understand why alex was mad in the train because slut shaming a friend, a woman and a sex worker is just not her reality (her pov is very different than rika, banks and winter. There's a lot of sex related shame in their povs, and it's not always because they wanted to be malicious towards other women, but it's a part of their growth because they're prone to be impacted by their surroundings than emmy) and i guess thats why when we see her interact with martin at the police station, we dont see him slut shame her or shame her for things like these anymore because as an abuser, he knew it didnt work or never worked on her before, as the only things that hurt her was the life of innocents, her beliefs and her authenticity for her dreams, her responsibility towards her people and goals, and this includes will and evento a certain the horsemen too. She wanst only sorry for will, she was sorry to kai, damon and michael too.

another thing that i feel like it's true after KAI's mbti discussion, i dont think prison changed kai to the extreme. I think it just escalated him to the person who he was always meant to be and who he wanted to be outside of what he thought he should be. Like it just highlighted his path, not change him from good kai to bad kai. It just heightened his mischief, he can hide behind prison tonexcuse his misdeeds now. Hiding again, again again. A bit different than emmy, where we dont see much of struggle of her admitting what she likes or hiding her likes in private, like shaving herself to wait for will in that shower stall before damon came to scare her, confessing her feelings to that godzilla toy when no one was around, admitting to herself in the train that she finally is ready to share that oart of her with a family who accepts her now, not feeling ashamed with any kind of weird sex in nightfall where even the readers dont agree about. Because she owns herself, it's harder for external reasons or characters to hit where it hurts, but when it hits, like martin with will and her works, damon with her self esteem, and kai in the train about deseving will, she got hurt, and as a reader, some of us feel angry for her too. emmy didnt have any problems admitting herself in the nightfall, but to share it with people in the light, to want to love and be loved the same way with the same intensity, i think thats where her character very much differ from kai. She's not religious, but kai kinda is, so maybe that impacts their story in some ways too. it's harder for her to share it with people about her likes because of her introverted intuition Ni, hence her problem with trust. Ni really likes to be secretive to others, but not to themselves. Usually be seen as a private, nit so much a mystery like Ne. Because Ni is convergent, and Ne is diveegent. Divergent leads to possibilities and mysteries. Emmy tried to uncover will's grandpa, and will avoiding the topic because he likes it that way. But one thing i found interesting about kai now is kai THOUGHT he was being truthful, but when we look at his character again, he did exist behind a lot of lies and mysteries that he cooked up, even from himself, sometimes just for he fun of it, just because he thought they justify his likings, very similar to will, but will was more self-aware than kai. Even though on the outside, will looks like he is less likely to admit it out loud than kai about their wrongdoings. Interesting! I guess thats where their Ne Fi stack interchange, will is more private with his feelings even though he looks like he's open, and kai looks more open but actually his diverging intuition Ne decides it in private.

however, out of everyone, inckuding side chars, the only char that i still dont know to type is Rika. Like wtf is she? I feel like PD is making her to be everything and now her char seems confusing.

never thought i'd like to see more char analysis of kai but here i am! But i think it's also because i probably didnt understand his char as much 🧐

what do you think about this part, ko?

Heyy!! thank you for waiting!

And im sorry about that but of you also being infp haha! Dont worry, i like INFPs!

Oh no, it wasn’t a problem. I just hadn’t even had my morning coffee when I read it the first time. Somehow being sent a list of your personality flaws before you’re even fully awake is not a peak experience.

Who knew?

“Also please put the reference where Kai when behind Michael’s back with his gf because I have blanked on this!! This little petty jerk." it's in chapter two hideaway.

Okay, that’s what I was thinking, but I didn’t thinking that the girl was Michael’s gf, so I wanted to check.

But then it made a great contrast with emory who i feel like is more perceptive and observant

I agree that Emory is more perceptive and observant than Kai. I previously made a post about how chapter two, Kai talks about how Damon has no secrets and everyone knows Will’s business, yet even he, one of their closest friends, didn’t know what was really going on with either of them on that day.

Emory on the other hand picks up on things pretty quickly for the most part, though she does have her moments.

when damon gave back her tin box, his personality seems a bit muted? So i can see why when damon was beside emory, he seems less aggressive. No because he wasnt aggressive anymore, it's just that his sparring match might be an equal or more.

I have a love/hate relationship with that scene. Obviously, I love the interaction. It really adds to the idea that these two have a unique understanding of each other. Damon and Emory were actually abused by people who were supposed to take care of them.

As opposed to Banks and Rika, who didn’t have the greatest parents, but even as things got bad, they mostly experienced neglect. And while the relationship between Banks and Damon was might be called abusive by some, Damon was not ever supposed to be Banks’ caretaker. He assumed that role because he was dysfunctional.

Damon and Emory’s abuse was overall more severe and from a source that constantly framed their abuse as love. They both have an intense love for Will, which is another area where they have an understanding. I’m not the first to say this, but I remember Damon telling Banks that he thought Will was the only one who would walk through fire for him, and of course he wanted to kill someone to force a bond with the horsemen that would tie them to him forever. In the end, it was Emory who helped him bury a body, for no reason other than she understood why he needed to, and then she validated his mixed emotions. It's undeniable they have a bond that he doesn’t share with the others.

I've also mentioned before how I don’t think Damon rebuilding Emory’s gazebo was entirely about Will, but also a thank you to Emory for what she’s done for him and an apology for letting Will burn it. Not that he would have changed anything, but that he knew it was wrong and let Will do it anyway (as he said, he tried to stop Will). Building the gazebo might have been a form of therapy, since he built it while Will was away, but who knows.

At the same time… what was Damon doing that morning taking care of the lights? The night after his wedding, he would rather be doing chores than be with Winter? Did he tire Winter out, and while she was asleep, he thought might as well get something checked off my to do list? He has such control issues that he can’t let someone else touch the gazebo? Damon doing such a menial task when they probably had a cleaning crew (I mean, who set up the lights and the rows of chairs for the guests?) seems like such a random thing, and totally done so that Emory and Damon could talk.

Anyway, I’m off topic. By this point in the series, it feels that Damon’s lost his bite, which is annoying because PD is still trying to sell us on him being the most terrifying. I’d much rather we go with the idea that Damon is healing and he doesn’t need the bite he had before protect himself. That happiness is something he can actually feel now, and it’s okay that he’s changing.

Or alternatively, if Damon were still mean, that would be fine too. If that’s just what his personality is and it never mattered what level his happiness was at, he was always going to be mean and scary and crazy, I could live with that. But this mix of he’s the hardest of them all but also the gentlest, best dad, and also the funniest and also the most Mostest Character ever is hard to swallow sometimes. Pick one.

People around her was the one who assumed that she was embarrassed.

I might be forgetting a few instances, but I think in the past, Emory got embarrassed when she was caught doing something. Example, the times she was caught watching people – ex: kids in the hallway; Will in the wrestling room. In these examples, though, she was caught by people she thought were better than her. When she was caught by Trevor, who wasn’t well liked by other, similar to her, she didn’t have the same reaction.

By the train scene, she’s already come to the conclusion that none of these people are better than her. They all suck in one way or another. She has nothing to be ashamed of.

(I think a hard part on reasoning this way is that they act like they’re “owning” that they’re horrible people, while they’re actively denying it. Or is that just me?)

Funny because i feel like damon carried some shame there too

I don’t know if I would say he carried any shame for trying to keep Will and Emory apart. He was trying to keep Will under his control, and Emory had the ability to take Will away. Damon wasn’t ready for that. I don’t think he even cared whether Emory had good intentions for Will or not – in fact, her having good intentions was worse for him. If she could make Will happy, what use would Will have for him anymore? It would ruin their bond.

I also don’t think he cared how she viewed him. He didn’t need her in his group, so her opinion meant nothing.

But I think Emory impressed him. She was unwilling to submit to him in the shower. I’m sure there were plenty of other girls who set their eyes on one specific horseman, but settled for another as if they were interchangeable. But Emory wasn’t even responding to Will and yet she wouldn’t settle for anyone else. And then the whole murder thing...

My point is, Damon knew why he was did what he did, and I don't think he regretted it. It is what it is, he was who he was. The past isn't anything he can change, so why feel anything towards it.

For a character as selfish as damon, it's impossible to say that he was only angry at the girls because they made his guys unhappy, because damon thrive around people he loves and want to care for. Have you thought of this possibilty?

I actually think he was angry at the girls because they had the possibility of making them happy, and the idea that that happiness could take them away and they wouldn't need him around anymore.

On the opposite side of that and more to your point, the conversation between Will and Damon on the cliffs comes to mind. Damon was upset that Will was despondent and distracted. The fact that Emory had the power to do this to Will irritated him. I think he thought only he should be able to make Will feel this way, but maybe it was just that Emory made Will unhappy and he was mad about it. He goes on to talk about his future wife and children, making clear he already had plans for Winter, but that he wasn’t going to let that distract him from the now.

It seemed to say to me that Damon didn’t care who Will ended up with, as long as they submitted to Will and served the horsemen's greater agenda. Emory was never going to submit and Will would spend the rest of his life chasing after the loss, and that pissed Damon off.

And then, like you said, it is when Damon starts seeing the women as having their own power instead of tools, and how their power actually elevates his friends instead of weakens them, that he can start admitting that what he wanted all along was to be wanted, and all of this was just to stay close to the people he cared about.

But maybe I’m wrong.

I think it just escalated him to the person who he was always meant to be and who he wanted to be outside of what he thought he should be.

Same. I think prison probably brought out the worst in Kai, but it was something that was already there. Kai’s the type of character that spent his whole life keeping the two versions of himself separate, but he would switch between the two frequently and that brought a sense of balance. But when he went into prison, he couldn’t find that balance. He had to be all of one version of himself, and that version became more twisted the longer he was in.

He has the potential to be just as terrifying as Damon if he would find harmony between the two sides. If a little bit of the version that was in prison still existed, and instead of hating himself for it, kept it just under the surface, right there behind the mask of friendliness. It would be a nice counter balance to Damon, who keeps his crazy on the surface and how devoted he is underneath.

(and ohhhh this is an interesting thought, because it’s obvious that Damon and Kai were always supposed to be two sides of the same coin, but this means that Michael and Will could serve the same purpose. And that thought brings to mind the conversation they had about devil’s night in Will’s truck. Will suggested the Cove and Michael rejected it. One is out of control, one is always in control. One has drive and ambition, one just floats through life. But both find something in the other that they need. And the following it up with Michael naming his son after Will. Might be something there… as Will said, the four of them create a perfect storm.)

A bit different than emmy, where we dont see much of struggle of her admitting what she likes or hiding her likes in private,

I do like this comparison, because while I think that Kai always did struggle a bit. He fully acknowledged that side of himself but he didn’t like sharing it with a lot of people. He struggled with not being the “good son”. Whereas Emory didn’t always accept that side of herself, but once she did, there wasn’t a thought of hiding it away. She just doesn’t open up to a lot of people in general, but she also doesn’t pretend to be anything but what she is.

he did exist behind a lot of lies and mysteries that he cooked up, even from himself, sometimes just for he fun of it, just because he thought they justify his likings, very similar to will, but will was more self-aware than kai.

I do agree. I think Will was aware that he was hiding his most authentic version behind lies, while Kai was desperately trying to believe the self that he presented was his true self, or at least a part of it.

however, out of everyone, inckuding side chars, the only char that i still dont know to type is Rika. Like wtf is she? I feel like PD is making her to be everything and now her char seems confusing.

 Rika is bit all over the place and suffers from being PD’s perfect princess.

Likewise, I still don’t know Kai well enough to fully analyze his character to that degree. It’s funny, because he likes being a mystery to people and he’s certainly succeeded with me!

I’m happy we’re discussing it though. He was my favorite in Corrupt and I was so sad to lose interest in him during Hideaway. I think the potential he has is huge.

[vitospaghetta]

I'll say i was really looking forward to your post about RE timeline and the difference between the remakes but i can totally see how this could cause an outbreak seeing how so many fans are rabid when it comes to what's canon and what isn't. I dunno if this is just a RE fandom issue in general but it makes it seem like everyone's defensive over something.

I was in this fandom since RE2R came out so that makes it like for 5 years i believe and I've seen first hand how shitty alot of fans can be, toxic shippers especially, hence why i just decided to stick to my own space and do stuff that i find fun. But that said, i really hope you continue talking about Leon and RE as a whole, I have alot of fun reading from your perspective and your take on Leon's character so... is it still alright to send asks about him? :)

Here's the thing. What happened could be purely coincidental, but I was informed that I was beaten to the punch for making an RE timeline/continuity post, conveniently within a week of me making posts about doing so in the future here. If I make that post now, I’m going to be discredited and brushed off as being in some sort of competition with this person. I'm not about to engage in a pissing contest. I've got too much going on irl to deal with juvenile fandom shit.

If making a helpful unbiased post of my own is going to be such a monumental issue, then I’m just not going to make it. I don't need the stress. I mean, making one post discussing my own personal issues with skewed perceptions of a multi-faceted character turned out to be the equivalent of me batting at a hornet's nest. I'm never going to claim that anything that comes out of my mouth is the word of god, but there is a very biased perspective that's become normalized, and all I wanted to do was offer another one. People can take that or leave it.

This person blocked me, so if it isn't coincidental, it means that they're either checking my blog because I haven't blocked them back or someone told them about my posts. I've noticed within the RE fandom where people will hold people's analyses and interpretations of the characters up to each other. They’ll ask one person what they think before asking another, as if to gauge what the ‘right’ opinion is. If everything I say is going to be held to someone else's interpretations like paint swatches, that's not something I'm comfortable with.

I'm not giving this response to start discourse, but I think it's only fair to explain my apprehension to stay engaged in the RE fandom. I was perfectly fine existing in my own corner for years, and the appeal to go back to being lowkey in order to continue my enjoyment of the franchise is very tempting. I don't want unnecessary stress to jeopardize my love of something that means a lot to me.

I’m really happy that you enjoy my posts and I might be inclined to talk about Leon after I’ve taken a break for a little bit. You and anyone else can feel free to continue to send me stuff. I don’t know when I’ll be in the mood to get back to them, but when I do reply, they’ll be untagged. I hope y'all can understand. 🖤

[thekatea]

Three Body (2023)

Watched: 14.02.2023

Right or wrong is only a matter of perspective.

I love a show that makes me engaged. That makes me think and question presented topics. That makes me want to think how I would react if I was presented with the same ideas, what would be my questions and doubts, and who would I side with. That makes me analyze the statements of the characters trying to figure out what flaws they might have, and in what aspects they are correct. Three-Body is all that.

I saw quite a number of people say that you need to be patient with this show to enjoy it. I would honestly disagree. Being patient means you need to tolerate something negative, and I see no such a thing in the show. Slow pace? For me it added to the charm of it. The even pacing, how each time they dropped a new hint, they added a few more questions, the mystery of it all, the lack of answers - for me, these are exactly the things I loved about it. So if someone finds these annoying, I don’t think any level of patience will make them like Three-Body in the end.

My favorite aspect of the drama was how it exposed the limits of human’s perception and cognition. How limited we are by our beliefs, hopes, motives, experiences and even biological aspects. We are painfully biased towards our own species. But it also shows how normal that is and that it can be, at least to some extent, overcome.

Not to mention the diversity of the characters in terms of their personalities, motivations, moralities. It’s truly an art how they slowly showed all the layers of the characters, their perspectives and plans. It was a perfectly crafted journey. They knew exactly when to disclose different information to keep the interest of the viewers.

How hard is it to understand the show? I’m not gonna lie, it’s not an easy watch, but that comes from someone who knows exactly nothing about physics. I had to rewatch a few scenes to understand the theories, some google searches also helped. All that is not needed to get the big picture, but it adds to the viewing experience.

Were there any things that bothered me or could potentially bother others? Yes. Since the drama invites you to analyze everything and pay attention to all the details, it’s also easier to pick up some inconsistencies. That said, a lot of them can be excused by the unreliable narrator at any given moment and their own goals in sharing some, but not all information, and at times even distorting it.

What’s more - we don’t get clear cut answers for a lot of questions asked. Some of it might be the result of the drama being based on just the first book in the trilogy, but some seem to be left vague with no hope for solid answers even in next installments. I can clearly see how this could piss off many people, me being weird, I actually enjoyed it. The fact that I had to form my own theories on why some things happened based on the hints and bits of information was an additional entertainment for me.

There were two moments in the drama that made me go: okay, that’s dumb. That said, two scenes in 30 episodes is a ration of dumbness I can easily ignore.

Last criticism I have is the whole existence of Mu Xing - she did not bring anything new or important to the table. She did not offer an interesting perspective nor a unique take on the events happening. She was there as a plot device and I find it a bit disappointing.

For the performances - some were better than others, but all were great. Chen Jin and Wang Zi Wen did an amazing job portraying the same characters in different moments of her life. You can see the changes in her, but she still seems like the same person. I loved Yu He Wei as Shi Qiang and he easily became my favorite character. I loved his bond with Wang Miao, and even though they could not exist in more different worlds, they formed a perfect partnership.

One performance that seemed a bit flat was Li Xiao Ran as Shen Yu Fei - she was supposed to be this driven woman with a mission, but she overall just seemed numb and detached.

The production value was perfection. I truly have zero complaints. I loved the small animation bits explaining the Farmer and Shooter theories, I loved the game graphics, I loved the set designs. I especially loved everything about how the past story was presented. So many aesthetically beautiful moments.

Talking about Three-Body, I need to mention the soundtrack. I was in awe from the first seconds of any of the songs and even just the ambient sounds used for many scenes. It added so much to the storytelling and perfectly built the atmosphere.

Overall, I could not recommend it more if you like complex stories that require full attention and some additional brainpower for theory making, since they don’t really spoon feed you all the answers. How much you can enjoy the show depends on how much you are motivated to figure out the mystery and story behind the characters.

Ps. Can it be viewed as stand alone? Kind of. Depends on how much of a closure you are expecting. Ps 2. I need 2nd season yesterday.

[mikamicahmikeyjo]

I've been thinking about the idea of viewing yourself as able to be loved. And how that relates to loving yourself.

I think of it like TV shows. For some people, they kinda see themselves like one of those comfort shows where, realistically, you know the writing or the acting is bad, or maybe some of the characters piss you off or your perception is that the quality has generally gone downhill, but you still have that spark of love that allows you to look past that and appreciate the parts you've always adored, and have a want to show those parts to people.

For other people, that decrease in "quality" is so much more prevalent. You see people only just getting into the show and you're like "but no wait you don't understand how GOOD it used to be" and you spend all this time anxious that they're going to finally realize and decide the show isn't worth sticking around.

Others, watching the show at all feels like a chore. Yeah maybe theres a character or two that you keep watching for, or maybe a storyline that you just have to see the ending of, and those bits make you understand why another person might enjoy watching as well, but generally speaking you can't help but side eye people who seem to REALLY enjoy the show.

And then there's that old show that went on for so many seasons.

And at some point you get bored and watch it, only to find yourself not wanting to even finish the first episode.

And you can't help but sit there and wonder to yourself how anyone could ever stand to watch this show.

How the hell did this show ever possibly get good enough ratings to continue on for so long.