#And let's not feed into relationship narratives that aren't coming from or being supported by L and/or N

[lukolabrainrot]

Comment on A Certain Friend JD- And Mini Rant

So, a couple days ago I mentioned I would no longer be talking about A unless we get information directly from L. Well, I have decided to do something similar when it comes to JD. Outside of a potential work project announcement (which I actually think might be coming at SOME point), I will no longer be talking about JD unless we get information directly from N that clarifies her personal relationship with JD is anything more than friendship. And based on how N has responded to these rumors so far, I don't see that happening y'all.

I feel like a large portion of this fandom chooses to not look at the full picture or use their critical thinking skills when analyzing specific pieces of information. The spiraling just seems so unnecessary to me atp when there is a TON of evidence that L/N are doing A OK in their personal relationship (if you know what I mean 😉). I know that a lot of us are missing the crumbs and just want confirmation atp because not having concrete answers makes us frustrated and anxious... But choosing to spiral over every little piece of information related to A and/or JD being around L or N just seems exhausting and not fun to me, so I personally am choosing to not feed into that anymore. Feel free to DM me though if you would like to discuss something specifically related to A or JD.

[sarucane]

Why didn't Izzy shoot Ed (then)?

Turns out that teasing out character logic is fun and people are interested so I'll just do it again ;)

Izzy has good reasons to shoot Ed here. Ed shot his leg and then outsourced the "kill Izzy" job to Frenchie. Now Izzy's a one-legged pirate, and as far as he's concerned his life isn't even worth living.

But Izzy is alive here. And he's alive because of what started when the crew intervened a few episodes back, told him he was in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard. The choices he made after that led to Ed shooting him, but also sowed the seed of a real bond between him and the crew, which led to him being alive here. Which--most importantly for answering this question--adds up to Izzy not being sure anymore that the old way is the right way.

Ed thinks Izzy will shoot him because there's rules to follow. Izzy told Ed "Blackbeard is my captain, not Edward. Edward better watch his fucking step." Well, Ed has come to the conclusion that he can't not be Edward. And he doesn't want to keep living torn between Blackbeard and Edward, alone and hopeless. He's desperate to let go, and is convinced the only thing "letting go" means is death, so he's setting out to make someone force him to let go.

And Izzy is the obvious choice of someone to make him let go, because Izzy does what Blackbeard tells him to.

But it's no longer that simple on this ship. It never has truly been that simple--Izzy was in denial about how human beings work when he demanded Ed just be Blackbeard again. And Izzy's changed, too.

Ed and Izzy are both caught between two ways of being in this scene. On the one hand, there's the pirate script, the Code of the Sea. Life is cheap, new first mates kill old first mates, first mates kill captains. Weakness is death. Roles are static and permanent, and the only "correct" change is death.

On the other hand, there's the Revenge script, where "life means something" and people "live for each other, not just to survive." Where deviations from the norm aren't just accepted, they're encouraged. Where people can be vulnerable and be supported, be weak and still worthy of life. Where people can change.

When Izzy refuses to shoot Ed, he is embodying that conflict. Izzy doesn't shoot Ed because he finds he really is done with the script. Because when it comes down to it, he may have threatened him--but he does not want to kill Ed.

But rather than risk or show the kind of vulnerability he did right before Ed shot him, Izzy frames this in the old narrative terms. He expresses contempt for Ed, that it's weakness that is making Ed come to Izzy for an assisted suicide. Izzy calls him "Eddie" as a way of diminishing him. He uses the kind of language he used back in S1E4, falling back on ideas like 'making a mess' that make sense to him, but invalidate the seriousness of what's happening here.

But at the same time, Izzy's actually setting his first healthy boundary in his relationship with Ed. Not "you need to do/act/etc," but "I will/will not do/act/etc." Izzy's spent years encouraging, feeding, and enabling this toxicity. He's not going to anymore. And he's not going to do it because he knows it's wrong--but he can't say that. Maybe doesn't even really know it.

It's a truly mad mix of growth and regression, and it's no wonder that Izzy falls back on the old script when he's alone and tries to shoot himself. And it's also no wonder that he fails, because he knows this is the wrong way to be. That both he and Ed deserve better.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: So, I have something to say to you Rio: And I waited 'til I left so you don't have to find space in your luggage for my body, before you ask Nancy: Okay... Nancy: slightly scared but tell me anyway Rio: Me too, girl Rio: but I'll just say it, 'cos I should've before Rio: the party, at your parent's rental Rio: it was my party Nancy: That's not funny, Ri Nancy: He's my twin, I suffer the joint parties so nobody else has to Rio: It isn't, I know Rio: but it was, I was there and they were all my friends Rio: I had no intention for it to get that out of hand, for the police to come Rio: to ruin shit for you, I'm really sorry Nancy: So you let him take the blame? Rio: I know, that's why I'm telling you Rio: so you don't blame him Rio: not for this anyway Nancy: He must've still given you the keys Nancy: and he was still there when it got so out of control Nancy: all I'm learning is that it's both your faults Nancy: Like he's stupid, you're stupider Rio: I just wanted you to know that it wasn't all him Rio: I'm not trying to change your mind Nancy: Why? Nancy: Why do you want me to know that? You think he's a prick too Rio: Like you said, I let him take the fall Rio: that ain't right, whoever it is Rio: I'm not trying to aggravate anyone's situations and relationships Nancy: say sorry to him without including me Rio: You can be mad at me, its fine Nancy: Oh I am Nancy: his excuse is any for a party, yeah? 🙄 but I don't understand why you would do this Rio: Why can't I just want to go to a party too Rio: and not think about everyone it may or may not affect, like Rio: I'm sorry, and I really am, but I'm not the one making you go home Nancy: cos you live there! Don't tell me there weren't others that you could've gone too Nancy: that wouldn't end in us going back Rio: It was an oversight Rio: I shouldn't have said yes but I did so you do with that info whatever you need to okay Nancy: you know what he's like and all the encouragement he DOESN'T need to do stuff like this Nancy: he'd have done it whether you were there or not but the fact is you were and you didn't stop him at any point Rio: It was only a party Rio: no one died Nancy: tell that to my mum and dad Nancy: seriously, please do Rio: He wants to handle it himself with them, which is why he took the blame Nancy: Cool yeah and I'll handle being back here myself Nancy: you say maybe you just wanted a party, well maybe I just wanted a break from everything that I already told you has happened Rio: I don't doubt that Rio: but you can't hold me responsible like I'm the one taking you home or I'm the one doing the bullying Rio: I don't have the power to prevent either, I wish I did but I've not claimed it and you don't think I do, equally, I don't have the power to enforce either Nancy: but I can for acting like you care how bad it is and then helping Buster be stupid enough to cause another Nancy: just ridiculous shitshow Rio: I do care Rio: but all of this is nothing more than you said, a break, distraction, from the actual shitshow that is waiting back home and won't go away Rio: do your parents know? Nancy: I can't tell them Rio: You have to Rio: you can't live like this Nancy: I can't have my mum look at me like that again Nancy: every time she has to remind the old men who teach us that dyslexia is a thing, it's a THING Nancy: and my dad doesn't understand anything, you know Rio: It's their job to fight your corner Rio: and they will Rio: you have to tell them how bad it is Nancy: they always do, that's the point Nancy: Buster hasn't needed them to do anything since he started school basically Nancy: they love him for it Rio: then maybe that's the problem Rio: what if he doesn't want them to look at him like that either Nancy: This would never happen to him, or them Nancy: so it's my fault that I'm the one that's different Nancy: that's what he thinks and that's what they'd think too, like Rio: everyone has different issues Rio: that doesn't mean no issues, ever Rio: even if you are different, they still love you Nancy: I'm handling it, not the way they would, but I am Rio: How? Nancy: what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? Nancy: don't people say that Rio: People are idiots Nancy: It's not how my family do things, talking Nancy: I can't just spill my truth over the dinner table in place of asking for salt Rio: Fixing things, isn't that what yours like to do best Rio: give them the chance, you can save the rest for someone who's a better listener, someone more comforting, I'm not saying you have to do that Rio: but this can't carry on Nancy: it won't forever Nancy: she's clearly in love with me or something, that's every homophobe's narrative in every YA thing ever Nancy: once she gets over it, I'll be fine Rio: This ain't teen drama, and she isn't Rio: this is serious Nancy: I know how serious it is Nancy: Living it Rio: Then stop Nancy: it's not that easy Rio: No, its brave Rio: but so is enduring that level of hate every single day Rio: without any of the reward Rio: so I know you can do it Nancy: it'll make it worse if I say anything Nancy: I don't know if I can cope with that even hypothetically so Rio: How much worse could it be Rio: how much more are you willing to take before that point, not hypothetical, 'cos all of that is already happening and it won't just get better on its own Nancy: I'm not testing that at my own expense, okay? Rio: Don't Nancy: She's got so many friends, boys as well Rio: Some friend Rio: I'm sure loads of people hate her too Nancy: Maybe Nancy: and I'm sure at least some of them spend every day holding their breath too Nancy: I'm not starting a club Rio: Who do you think she is to bully you Rio: because that's the truth, she can only get away with it because you think she's somehow better than you Nancy: I barely know her Rio: exactly, she should be irrelevant Nancy: what's closer to the truth, I think, is that I refuse to see other girls as my competition and she can't stand it Nancy: I could weaponize things she obviously feels self conscious about, but I won't Rio: That just feeds into it being your fault, that there's any reasoning that's acceptable Rio: if you didn't have those insecurities yourself, she couldn't use them, fuck her and hers Nancy: my sexuality isn't an insecurity, not to me Nancy: the fact that I'm not whatever Chelsea girl cliche she thinks I should be is far from either Rio: Then get help Rio: if you thought you deserved it, you would Rio: that's the problem, there, you can't see getting help as anything but a weakness Rio: letting someone treat you like shit is, especially when you say you have the confidence to see you deserve better Nancy: and trade it in for my parents disappointment? thanks but no Nancy: letting everyone see and treat me like 'that bullied girl' is no better Rio: Then don't be Rio: that is all you're being Rio: in what world do you think either of them would be proud you grin and beared it from some bitches not worth half of you Nancy: If I wanted any of this I'd ask my brother for advice Rio: Just because the solution is walk through the fire and that sounds terrifying, doesn't mean you aren't fucking living in it Nancy: I don't need you to tell me how I'm living Nancy: or what fear is like Rio: You don't want anyone to examine it Rio: you wanna just disappear, so they can't see you and no one else can Rio: this shit will shrink you and wear you down to nothing but 'that bullied girl' and that's the fucking truth Nancy: You're being a real bitch right now actually Nancy: and not just for making me call you one Rio: Call me what you like Rio: I know myself and my intentions Nancy: so do I but what you don't know is how difficult this is Rio: Yes I do Nancy: it's so constant and I'm so tired Nancy: I don't have time or space to explain to my mum and dad why and what is happening Rio: There's no alternative Nancy: there's no words for any of it Nancy: to make them understand that it's not just stupid kid stuff that they'll tell me to sort out on my own Rio: There are Rio: but if you say them it stops being stupid kid stuff and it makes it serious and real Nancy: not in my head, you know how hard it is for me to find any Nancy: when I'm upset it's worse Nancy: I can't organise my thoughts ever any more Rio: I can help you, or Junior or Billie or any of us would be happy to Nancy: I haven't told either of them Rio: Who knows? Nancy: you Nancy: and Buster unavoidably Rio: You should talk to them Rio: Junior especially, he's never had an easy time of school either Nancy: that's why I don't wanna worry him Nancy: he's so sweet but what can he do? Rio: Get it Rio: if you're feeling misunderstood by the rest of us Nancy: I vented to him forever before I came out, he doesn't need this too Nancy: it's not fair Rio: That's what friends are for Nancy: he's my escape from it, he'll stop being if I drag him right in Nancy: it's already all you wanna talk about Rio: Its your life Rio: you can't escape it Nancy: I do though Rio: and its still there when you get home Nancy: Like I said, telling on her isn't gonna fix that Rio: Fine Nancy: You don't get to be mad at me about this Rio: How do you expect me to talk to you about anything else like you don't hate your life? Nancy: Don't talk to me then Rio: You may be happy to ignore it but I won't Nancy: Happy is an oversimplification Nancy: you're ignoring everything I've said Rio: And you don't get to tell me not to be mad Rio: Like I don't care about you and have every right to be worried Nancy: I can tell you not to be mad at me if you're telling me it's not my fault but treating me like it is Rio: I'm not Nancy: everything you want me to do only makes my life worse, not hers Nancy: my school is stuck in a timewarp and she's surrounded by people who support her even if it wasn't Rio: Because this isn't about her, or revenge or being that person Rio: she's that person and clearly her life is shit enough already if that's how she treats people Rio: why am I pretending to you that its easy, exactly? Rio: when has life ever been Nancy: Yeah okay Nancy: Life's hard, why do I have to be the one to make it harder? Nancy: Why can't they just stop Rio: Because they aren't handling their own shit Rio: you shouldn't be the one to take that on just 'cos they've picked you to do it Nancy: I miss you Rio: I miss you too Rio: I am so sorry you had to go back before planned, okay, you know I am Nancy: Of course I do Rio: Its your life, alright, do what you have to but I know you aren't okay Nancy: I'm trying Rio: I know you are Rio: some things you can't do alone Rio: shouldn't have to Nancy: I know Nancy: I'll try to talk to mum but you really have to pick your moments with her Nancy: and with Buster determined to wind her up right now, there aren't loads Nancy: I have no idea how you could bear to be in the same room as him, especially with all your friends there Rio: If anyone knows how tough it is to get parents undivided attention, its me, don't worry Rio: he's not so bad Rio: sure I'd feel different if he was my twin though Nancy: when he's drunk or high, he's worse Nancy: which is like always now so Rio: We've all got shit we're dealing with badly, yeah? Nancy: Okay, good connection made there, even if it does wanna make me scream how not like him I am Nancy: that's just twin things, I guess Rio: I'm not going to force you into matching outfits, like, don't worry Nancy: Oh god Rio: You can admit he's human too, I won't tell Nancy: If he'll ever admit that he likes being a bad person, maybe Rio: No one likes being a bad person Rio: sometimes its the easier thing to do though Rio: we all want an easy life Nancy: he never goes for what's easier, he does what he wants to do Rio: We should all do what we wanna do, shouldn't we? Nancy: If it doesn't hurt people, sure Nancy: but not if you don't care whether it does or not Nancy: and constantly put yourself before every and anyone else Rio: What constitutes hurt? Nancy: You know what I mean and what he's like Rio: I'm just saying, bigots say that kinda thing about being gay, that it hurts everyone around you etc Rio: you can apply it to a lot of shit that is actually fine, even if you're not about it, you know Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm applying it to his attitude and how he treats people Nancy: neither of which are fine Rio: Its not your burden to bear, you know Rio: you can't affect how he treats you, never mind other people Rio: you can only decide how you react to it Nancy: Well I'm not sorry for wanting him back Nancy: how he used to be Rio: That makes sense Nancy: Don't you remember how kind he used to be? How funny and genuine Nancy: he used to care about us Rio: He's still got the potential to be that person Rio: people change constantly Rio: for good, bad, better and worse Nancy: exactly, so I'm not gonna let him be a prick unchecked Rio: Okay Nancy: mum and dad let him get away with too much Nancy: sending him home isn't gonna help when he behaves better in Dublin and always has Nancy: they're just embarrassed Rio: Yeah well, parents rarely know what's best Rio: even if they chat like its 100% in their favour Nancy: right? Rio: Its all about confidence Nancy: mine have too much of that, let's be honest Nancy: 🙄 Nancy: I'll admit it was a good idea having the party there, well it would've been if he didn't get found out Rio: It was good Rio: 'til the garda ruined it Nancy: thanks for the invite 😏 Rio: You wanna be in the same place as your brother? 😱 Nancy: I have to avoid him the rest of the time, I would've managed Rio: My bad Rio: next soiree Nancy: You thought I wouldn't come Nancy: but in my defense, I've only been to family parties Rio: its much the same but just with people you aren't related to Nancy: I doubt that or nobody would have any Nancy: must be slightly fun Rio: nope, exactly the same Rio: expectation to enjoy yourself and 'just have fun' is even higher, actually Nancy: oh great Nancy: what I suffer from my bullies, I don't suffer from peer pressure Nancy: good to know I'm not missing out thanks to my lack of friends Rio: Don't grow up, babe Nancy: excuse you Nancy: I'd pick Tinkerbell over Peter Pan Rio: Of course you would Rio: you sound like Wendy though 😏 Nancy: so rude Nancy: I won't make the 🐶👶👶 comparison for you though Rio: You've already called me a bitch, babe Nancy: I'm sorry, okay Rio: Forget it Rio: I've been called worse and invariably will be called ever worser Nancy: but not by me Nancy: it's obviously not you I'm mad at Rio: I know that, don't worry, seriously Nancy: it's just so lonely and frustrating Nancy: like is this my payback for not having gay angst Nancy: so sorry that girls are beautiful and I don't feel bad about it Rio: Being a teenager is trauma Rio: no one gets to adulthood unscathed or you wouldn't survive Nancy: Yeah and I know it could be worse Nancy: everything that happened to my mum, to nan, to so many of them Rio: doesn't mean this isn't bad too Rio: or that your mum would dismiss it Nancy: they handled it though Nancy: better than I can or I am Rio: None of its a competition Rio: and nan would be the first to tell you her life isn't aspirational or inspirational Nancy: I just feel like she deserves a different daughter after everything Nancy: a stronger one Rio: All anyone wants is happy and healthy kids Rio: if your list is longer than that then you shouldn't have 'em Nancy: I know but Buster's so brave, she raised me to be like that too Rio: Like I said, you are brave Nancy: I'm scared all the time, he's not scared of anything Rio: Everyone's scared Rio: he just hides it well Nancy: Another skill he's got, like Rio: Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear Rio: now someone did say that 'cos I quoted it Nancy: shame I'll forget it by the time I finish writing this Nancy: having no short term memory is really annoying Rio: sure there's a poster or a mug I can get you Nancy: 😊 Rio: is it an early flight then? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'm sleepy just thinking about it Rio: Ugh Rio: not even long enough that you can sleep Nancy: it's so weird to me that they even do flights that short Nancy: isn't there like a million checks and stuff they have to do before? Rio: 😂 the things you think about Rio: Probably like nipping down the shop for a pint of milk to the pilots, routine as Nancy: I guess Nancy: but it'll take longer for me to decide what I'm wearing than it will to get there Rio: D'ya wanna sound more first-worldy, babe Rio: I know I said all problems are created almost equal but don't take the piss with it Nancy: also my hair won't be dry 😏 Rio: you can truly fuck off with that one Rio: my hair retains water FOREVER Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I knew you'd like that Rio: So, we're good? Nancy: Of course Rio: 🙏 Nancy: 💋 Nancy: I mean, if you go to any more parties with my brother we'll have to be sworn enemies but that's standard Rio: 😏 Nancy: since it's partly your fault I'll be there again, you really should come to London though Rio: Yeah? Rio: that'd be cool, I was wanting to go anyway Nancy: if your mum and dad will let you and your boyfriend won't be too 💔 that I'm stealing you away Rio: ha Rio: that 🚢 sailed 'fore your ✈ set off Nancy: Oh Nancy: are you okay? Rio: 😂 Rio: yeah, again, don't worry Rio: I'll survive Nancy: I am worried now cos clearly you can't get a word in Nancy: 😶 Rio: Nah, there's not much to say about it Rio: neither a problem nor important, legit Nancy: well I've deleted my 👄 now so Nancy: and if you dumped him cos of his inability to dress you for the wedding, babe, that's ALL straight boys Nancy: just saying Rio: whereas lesbians are known for their impeccable dress sense 😏 Rio: and he dumped me actually, not over my wedding outfit though Nancy: breaking my heart when yours isn't, is very unfair Nancy: and he obviously couldn't use that as a reason, you looked 🔥 Rio: put on your comfiest flannel and 😭 babe Rio: exactly though, occupational hazard of dating me, he couldn't hack it Nancy: that's both slander and a borderline hate crime cos I have and will never 😧! Nancy: you deserve more parties and I won't be a bitch about any of them Nancy: even if you invite Buster and not me, again Rio: You're so sweet Nancy: it's just a fact that the fragile male ego isn't ready for someone as pretty as you Rio: You aren't turning me Rio: but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless Nancy: that's not what I'm 🤔 more like how to find you someone mature without being gross old Rio: What about your own love life Rio: let's 🔎 there Nancy: I don't have one Nancy: we all know boys are really slow at growing up but that doesn't mean any girls I've encountered are ready for me either Nancy: they only started letting girls into my school a few decades ago, I'm the only one who's out from that already shockingly small number Rio: You live in London though Rio: one of the most diverse cities ever Rio: get out of that ⬜ and into a different ⚪ yeah Nancy: what am I gonna do sit weirdly alone at every tourist attraction 🤞🧡? I don't have any friends to do anything with Rio: that's why you join clubs, take up hobbies Rio: friends and girlfriends aren't gonna break in your house and interrupt your netflix marathon, like Nancy: if I get my 📷 out that's stalking Rio: get permission first, like Rio: rule no1 of not being a creepy/illegal photographer Nancy: thanks for putting that in writing for me Nancy: I'll try and remember Rio: any time, babe Nancy: Why did he break up with you? Rio: Oh, someone told him I was all over someone else at the party Nancy: Ugh Nancy: so it wasn't even for a good reason Rio: I mean they weren't lying Rio: just overexaggerating but whatever Nancy: Wait, I've missed a break up and a hookup? Oh my god Nancy: really out of your ⚪ right now Rio: It was that kinda party Nancy: Buster does know how to throw them, like Nancy: quite Gatsby of him Rio: okay, nerd Rio: you lost me 😏 Nancy: you saw the movie, don't lie Rio: perhaps Rio: 💚 Nancy: and I only did cos Jordan Baker has such lesbian energy and her beard Nick is clearly in love with Gatsby so call me what you like Rio: she plays golf, no straight woman would dream of being that boring Nancy: or dressing how 🏌 do Rio: precisely Nancy: I'll find a well dressed lesbian somewhere, somehow Nancy: though it could take years Rio: no pressure Rio: don't need another wedding any time soon Nancy: Gross Nancy: I'm never getting married Rio: nah? Nancy: we covered that I don't like family parties, yeah? Rio: I guess so Rio: you don't have to do it like that though Nancy: anyway it's so hetero Nancy: no way am I being given away by my dad like I belong to him Nancy: or taking someone else's name cos they like own me now 🙄 Rio: 🙄 Rio: 1. who does that or has since like 1988 babe Rio: 2. we get it, you're the man, you don't have to do that either Nancy: literally every straight couple ever Nancy: and those kind of 'which one of you is the groom' jokes aren't gonna sell it either Nancy: I'm triggered at the prospect Rio: were you at my parents wedding or Rio: this bullying got you behaving all manner or retro tbh Nancy: your parents are far from traditional, we all know Rio: so you don't have to be Nancy: let me find a well dressed girlfriend first before you worry about dressing me for my wedding, like Rio: 👌 Nancy: I understand you wanna see me 😳 but it won't be cute Rio: just don't be so judgey Rio: that ain't cute Nancy: okay that's fair Nancy: I shouldn't judge anyone else by elite Chelsea girl 'standards' I know that Nancy: this place is just mind altering Rio: You're all good, babe 🧡 Rio: I'll keep you in-check Nancy: I really hate it Nancy: you'll see, even our house is too big and too.....blank Nancy: like a gallery if someone forgot to put the art in Rio: I'm sure your room is cosy Nancy: I've got space for a giant wardrobe that's a plus Nancy: and I don't have to fight Buster for the mirror cos that's a fight I'd NEVER win Rio: 😂 Rio: so there's some pluses Nancy: 😏 end of rant, I promise Rio: You've got packing to do, conserve some energy Nancy: I WOULD'VE FORGOT TO PACK 😲😣😂 Rio: Oh honey Nancy: I'm just sleeping soundly til the morning when I have to throw an empty case in like I'm Lisa Simpson starting a new life and getting new friends at the beach Rio: Its a plan Rio: not gonna go ahead and call it solid but you know Rio: go have those sweet dreams Nancy: we can't okay it when my dad loves his car like a 4th child Nancy: I'll go and pack Nancy: 🧡 Rio: Perhaps enough drama for one trip Rio: there's always next time 🧡 Nancy: as long as you don't tell Buster the same thing, like Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 😶🤞