#And let me tell you. Tranquil Fury is going to legitimately try and kill Belphie.

[grey-eyed-menace]

Returning

"Kaitou?" Ikuo called, voice a little hoarse.

Silence, utter silence, that was... unusual, typically, his guardian would have come running ready to vault into his arms the moment he made it known he and Satsuki had made it back from practice, (not that Satsuki would be coming into the bouse anytime soon, to busy needling her boyfriend), unharmed and ready with a few new pieces to practice.

Yet, nothing. No grand exclamations, no tears of joy, or demands for Ikuo bust out the viola and show his family, as small as it was, what he had learned in the two hours he had been gone, (which, mostly, was just a hand over of his next recidal piece, and a new hate for trombone players, seriously, fuck Ryuzaki).

Tomoyo was home, that much was obvious from the shoes lined up at the door, but that also meant Kaitou should be as well, considering both his dress shoes and sneakers were thrown haphazardly in a corner as they always were.

And yet, no Kaitou.

Ikuo poked his head around the corner, eyes narrowed, surveying the interior of the living ropm, "Kaitou? Are you dead?"

All he's met with is Yuuki's favorite tea set, sitting idly, untouched, steam still rising from the filled cups.

[A gift, he had been told, from Kanae and Hitomi, hand-made, mismatched, and with two of the tea-plates floppy and bendable from the resin not setting right.

He had made a half-hearred comment about getting rid of those two plates once, Yuuki had threatened to emasculate him shortly after.

Akio had kept sipping his tea without do much as a second look, saying he would help hide the body.

If there was any doubt about the Kurama twins and their relation to Kanae and Hitomi, Ikuo would hold up a neon sign up to specifically highlight that moment, and ask, rather politely, or, well, as politely as he could, and ask if the person was fucking blind.]

Carefully, because this was the sort of shit that happened in the beginning of a horror movie, Ikuo made his way into the living room, eyes trained on the coffee table, where the tea set rested.

It looked perfectly innocent, set in a pretty little wooden tray Akio had made during one of his many, many, many 'idle' hobby projects. Still hot and ready to be drank, it was sorta strange.

Yuuki was very particular about her tea time, you didn't interrupt it without threat of death by decapitation.

And... this was all kinds of wrong, and freaky, and just downright strange.

And then the portal opened up on the ceiling.

It was right about that time Ikuo began wondering if his life was just some kind of fucked up joke for the Gods, because, you know, normally, when kids got orphaned they weren't immediately adopted by batshit insane ex-Watcher's who thought the appropriate reaction to comforting crying children was to offer up combat lessons for fighting against the Supernatural.

Or you know, thrusting them on the creepy as all fuck Necromancer you apparently had on speed-dial, and hoping against all hope they didn't end up just as fucked up as them in the long run.

[Ikuo loved Tomoyo, he did, truly, but he would be the first to admit his little brother had some seriously fucked up shit going on with him due to Eloisè Katherine and their bullshittery.]

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

Their was a portal to God knows where in the ceiling of his living room, and, considering that he was the only one present, he was the one who had to deal with it.

Lovely.

And all he had on hand for a weapon was his viola, (which, fuck that, he liked the damn instrument, besides, it was fucking expensive to replace), and a few throw-pillows, and a tea set.

Decision made, he carefully avoided his adopted sisters tea set, and grabbed the largest pillow from the collection atop the couch, dropped his instrument case to the ground, and tried his best to look intimidating.

Seconds later, the hole dumped a pair of brunette haired lumps of human flesh over the back of the loveseat, and it was, also, at that moment, that fucking White Haired Anime Jesus descended down gracefully onto the coffee table, and the eldritch hole to Nyarlathotep's fucking sun room closed with a splutter.

White Haired Anime Jesus smiled at him, tilted his head, and took a calculated step backwards, dropping to the floor with a soft thump.

One of the two brunettes on the other side of the love-seat let out a quiet string of curses as they tried to disentangle themselves from their companion, who proceeded to groan in discomfort and make a quiet insult in a language Ikuo did not care to place.

"I bet you have many questions." Was the first thing out of White Haired Anime Jesus's mouth, lips quirked up in a smirk.

Ikuo did not, actually.

He just wanted this shit to be over with, so, without turning his back to the stranger, he quietly stumbled his over to the love-seat, throw-pillow brought up against his chest in a mockery of a shield, and, very carefully, peaked over the back to see both Akio and Yuuki still untangling themselves from one another.

And dressed like they were ready to see the Emperor himself, silently, he reasoned to question that later.

Right now, though?

"What the fuck did you two do." He hissed at them, eyes narrowed in annoyance as he met Akio's confused stare.

"Oh," White Haired Anime Jesus commented from where he had decided to sit down on the couch, ankles crossed, hands folded, and looking for all the world that he belonged there, "were you not informed of their transfer to the Royal Academy Of Diavolo?"

No, he was not, because a little over ten hours ago, Yuuki and Akio had been, for better or worse, been arguing over whether or not they wanted to apply to Murkowski Institute or Kiseki-Haruno Academy.

"I was not." Ikuo did not break eye contact with his adopted brother, instead he sneered as he spoke.

Akio had the decency to look sheepish, Yuuki, rather pointedly, mept herself focused on rising to her feet despite the obvious nausea she was experiencing.

"Ah, well, I guess you know now," White Haired Anime Jesus Mused, "it was quite the eventful seventeen months, if I do say so myself."

"I've been gone three hours," it was taking everything in Ikuo not to start screaming, and, oh, was it tempting to just give in and strangle one of the twins, "what the fuck did you two do!?"

"Seduced the seven princes of hell, of course." White Haired Anime Jesus supplied readily, smile more than apparent in his point.

Ikuo's face went slack at that, and proceeded to slowly turn towards the stranger sitting on the couch, "What?"

"Kurama Akio and Kurama Yuuki, descendants of the Fallen Angel Lilith, did the unthinkable," his smile somehow grew, showing far to many teeth for Ikuo's comfort, "they seduced the Avatars of the Seven Deadly sins, the Crown Prince of Hell, his loyal advisor and butler, an emissary from Heaven, two of the Ars Goetia, and, of course," he made an odd gesture, as though showcasing himself, "the ancient King and Sorcerer Solomon, oh, and they have the cutest little angel as a surrogate brother."

Ikuo proceeded to drop the pillow in his hands onto the twins, which made Yuuki splutter, turn around, and off the love-seat, to grab the case that held his viola, shouldered it, and made his way back to the entrance to the house.

"I did say it was an eventful seventeen months!" White Haired Anime Jesus, Solomon apparently, called out after him.

"Ikuo-onii-san! Where are you going!?" Yuuki squeaked, just as Ikuo heard Akio vault across the love-seat to likely strangle Whi- Solomon with his bare hands.

"Anywhere but here!" He called over his shoulder.

"I refuse to deal with this bullshit for the foreseeable future, until I've rightfully processed it, I'm going to crash at Yanagi's," he gave a half-hearted wave to no one in particular, "don't call me unless you're dying painfully."

He didn't bother to lock the door as he left.