#And later in the scene I'm angry but I'm like frustrated angry and I'm venting to my buddy. Not angry to my lover->enemy->fiancee's face th

[siobhanromee]

When you are trying to figure out characterization and then someone suggests an action your character would take.. and you have to go he would not fucking do that.

[vaporclan]

Seriously, though. Putting Fernfreckle on a shelf and censoring him from the public's eyes until they can be normal about him is all fun and games but I gotta be serious for a second

Every single time Fernfreckle is angry, or says anything even remotely related to Beetlebud/his car injury, I get comments like "he should've moved" "he should have run away" or anything implying it's his fault he got hit by a car because he froze on the road

This was a 6 month old kitten, on his first day out of camp, with no clue what a car is, after being told by his mentor its safe. I wrote this scene with the intent of having a flawed character (Beetlebud) make a stupid mistake.

He's angry because he got half his body scraped raw, his eye popped out, his ear gone and he broke his jaw - because he was told it would be SAFE.

He is angry because he believes Beetlebud is not safe to be around children and brought 3 babies into the Clan despite the young cat death toll (he has been venting his frustrations with his StarClan buddies since his accident - this is explained later in the comic)

He is frustrated because they wanted to figure out how to fix the Clans before any new litters were brought in, because he KNOWS that cats dont usually live past a year old in this Clan.

What he is Not is a character who is an asshole just to be an asshole. And to spoil his whole arc because I'm tired, yes, he becomes less closed off and less of an asshole as time goes on. Because again, it's been less than a year.

It has been 9 MONTHS in the comic since Fern's injury - not even a year yet. We're still EXTREMELY early into this Arc and Fernfreckle's character in general.

You don’t have to like him - but its extremely odd that whenever anyone wants to criticise him they immediately turn to blaming him for the car accident. As a disabled writer writing a disabled character, this is really disheartening

Please, research what the Freeze response is. Have you never seen the Deer in the Headlights metaphor?

I just keep getting nasty comments every time Fernfreckle so much as opens his mouth, and the comments always get likes which implies people agree with them. I do not want people with a victim blamey mindset reading my comic.

Fernfreckle is going to be a main character throughout this arc. If you can't be normal about him, stop reading here. Im begging.

[crowniko]

I wanna write SO BADLY these days but I cant

I've been craving my old routine of working out, daydreaming, and writing out my silly thoughts

but I can't right now

I know I'll get back to it one day but right now I'm just feeling the frustration of my chronic illness and disability.

*angry crow*

if u wanna read more of an explanation I left it under the cut! I guess this is sort of my update/explanation for why I've been gone for awhile

I wanna keep this brief (I'm tired), but I also wanna spread some awareness on ME/CFS since it's what I'm dealing with.

I got COVID (yes it's still around and no the pandemic is not over) back in October, and after feeling horrible for weeks thereafter I was diagnosed with Long COVID... and then my doctor also diagnosed me with ME/CFS. It was a lot to take in at the moment, and ever since that appointment I've gotten worse.

ME/CFS is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I like to also call it the Big Tired. but it's not just tiredness, it's straight up soul crushing fatigue, pain, brain fog, memory issues, dizziness, vertigo, weakness, and so much more. Post Exertional Malaise (PEM) is a main factor of ME/CFS that has crushed my being. to keep it brief, it basically makes u feel sick and get worse after any exertion of energy whatsoever. this includes physical, mental, and emotional. I once laughed too hard and felt sick hours later.

I find that these days I'm too tired to daydream now, which really makes me sad. the other day I turned on some music and started to daydream, and it got pretty intense (fight scene in my brain was going hard) and then I felt ill. I was out of breath and had to sit down because my heart started to race too fast. I can't fucking daydream like I used to and I'm so sad.

I know that I'm just having a bad flare up, but like I said before I'm just feeling frustrated and wanted to take this moment to vent/spread awareness on ME/CFS.

I'm still in the process of figuring everything out and I'm very lucky and privileged to have an amazing support system through my mom. I know that I'll daydream and write soon, since I'm stubborn, but yeah brain fog and fatigue suuuuck.

if u wanna learn more about ME/CFS I highly recommend researching it since it's a lot more common than you might think. also just a reminder to stay safe, wear a mask, and take care of yourself <33

[mystic-starlights]

I love reading the interactions spiderverse fans have with anons. In several of them, I read yours about expectations for BTSV, Miles needing to have a rest break and new friends after being betrayed.

Well, I'm writing a fanfic that takes place on Earth-42 before Atsv with my OC meeting Miles G and she starts working with him as a Prowler (in the beginning it's just as a helper, but later she becomes his active partner in the missions like two vigilantes, so to speak).

My OC's name is Daisy Jones (or DJ as Aaron calls her and Miles sometimes). Her interactions with Miles are very much a grumpy x sunshine vibe, but also a rivals to lovers type of thing in the beginning, and even after friends keep teasing or fighting 😆. She also always has the habit of calling him "kitten", "kitty", "hunk" and cat-related jokes in general (he even makes a joke of calling him "Prrrowler" because he loves to see him angry 😂).

She's like a light of joy in Miles G's life, someone who makes him laugh and he's started to crave her company every day since Jeff's death. She was the only person he felt good enough to tell about his father and the fateful day he lost him. She is the only, if not one of the few friends that Miles G has, however he can only vent his most intimate problems with her because he knows that she will listen to him until the end, then she will console him with sweet words or simply wrap him in a warm embrace. 🥺💗❤️ 🩹

Going back to the beginning.

I was reading the asks with anons and I got excited thinking about writing a scene that would go like this:

My OC Daisy has a warm friendly conversation with Miles Morales. As an understanding person, she understands the frustration and hurt that Miles is feeling (she imagines it to be almost the same as Miles 42 went through) but she also tries to understand that her friends must not have betrayed him on purpose, but she understands that Miles 1610 would not forgive them so easy. Then she touches his hand and assures him that with them (her, Miles G and Aaron) everything will be fine. The two smiling, laughing makes Miles 1610 feel a little better.

In the end, Miles G appears behind them, staring at the two with a frowning face, Daisy and Miles M realize that their hands are still together and quickly separate 😂❤️💜.

@breeandhermunches @moodysunflowerbaby @moralesmilesanhour

[shadowmaat]

I've been mocked and ridiculed before for "giving up too easily" on shows when they take a turn (or series of turns) I don't like.

The thing is that I've never regretted it. I've never thought "damn, I should have kept watching" or just returned to watching something which I'd previously abandoned. It may mean I "miss out" on something good, but the "good" is usually buried in a pile of stuff I'd find bad, frustrating, tedious, etc. So no, I wouldn't consider it worth it to have kept watching. These days if there ARE "good bits" I can just watch the individual scenes on y.t. and skip the rest.

I can also say, from lived experience, that it's far better for your mental health and social standing (such as it is) to bail out sooner than later. Otherwise you'll just get increasingly bitter as every little thing "confirms" your negative opinion. Hatewatching isn't fun and bitching about a show you've stopped watching is, mm, counterproductive. The temptation to do so remains strong, but learning to resist it will be good for you. Trust me on that. LOL!

I still make slip-ups, but growth is a work in progress. It's also interesting to see that as I get older I'm less angry about shows going in a direction I dislike and more sad, both at the lost "potential" and that something I once loved is not longer being made "for me."

That's a helpful mindset, too, BTW. It isn't that something is bad or has gotten bad, it's that it's no longer something for you. It's clearly still something good for a lot of other people, and that's a great thing for them. You shouldn't make other people miserable for liking something you hate. Vent in the privacy of your own blog if you need to, but don't go after other people for being happy. We all need escapes from the stresses of reality; don't snatch joy from someone who needs it.

Anyway, I may be sad and disappointed with the direction things seem to be going, but there will always be fanfic. And there will always be the world in my imagination, which may never get written down but still exists whenever I need it. And that, my friends, is perfectly fine.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

New management AU ramblings

DJ Music Man is a character I had a lot of ideas to cycle through. At the time I'd first seen you AU, I'd seen a few headcanon posts that their body wasn't a Fazbear Entertainment original, but had been purchased from an original creator and been given a new shell and hardware/software for his DJ Music Man life. He would have had mechanical issues post security breach and, with him not being a Fazbear model to start and with the animatronics in charge, he would be getting upgraded to a new chassis entirely, and there would need to be some new designs made for his body. Admittedly this was due to a lack of ideas of what to do with the character.

Now, however I'm seeing him as something of a confident to the other animatronics. While he is technically "mute" the DJ communicates via I.M. and since he was mostly removed from the events of the breach, he doesn't have much idea about the conflict. There would be several points in the story where Freddy, Chica, Roxy, and Monty would wind up talking with DJMM about the events if Security breach and the story. Freddy would be dealing with some of the stresses of being management with the human staff putting him up on a pedestal (more on this later) and the band members wanting little to do with him. He's feeling guilt over what choices he made during that night (more later) and he constantly is having to second guess himself with management choices he has to make.

Chica would confide to DJ about her anger over how her friends got injured, even about how Freddy had been torn apart. Vannesa had confessed about being under mind control after they'd originally been fixed (only the original possession, Vanny hadn't started haunting Vannesa yet) Chica believed her (all of them did), but she's still angry at Vannesa for her part in everything, but she doesn't act on it. Gregory she's angry at for hurting both Roxy and Monty, and she doesn't understand why they aren't angry about it. Freddy she's mad at due to those aforementioned choices from that night, especially when she realized Freddy was equipped with their parts.

When Monty winds up visiting, it's either just news about what's going on outside the west arcade or just venting about arguments with the other animatronics.

Roxy doesn't usually vent to the DJ, but when she winds up in the arcade one night, she does vent about how she doesn't know how to deal with the secrets she needs to keep in regards to being part of the security system of the plex. (She does slip that Bonnie was on the system too, but clams up. Dj doesn't pry)

Later in the fic, Once Gregory winds up getting over his fear of the Animatronic Arachnid of Abnormal size, he (escorted by Monty( felt like he couldn't talk about it with Freddy there) ) winds up talking about that night, and what lead to decommissioning Monty and Roxy. (DJMM realizes the red flags waving about the E-mails eventually, but almost too late to warn anyone.)

This scene came to me recently;

Roxanne in her green room after a performance, the Plex is still closed to the general public, but the some of the staff still use the daycare, and why not let their kids see the performances(the majority of the plex is still hard off limits). Roxy is going through her confidence routine, though she's more going through the motions because she's got bigger things occupying her mind ( her flaking friendship with Chica, Monty's advice with her anger, the weight of the secrets she carries regarding Bonnie and the mimic), frustrated she grumbles to herself about things distracting her, with Chica Wailing harder power chords than normal on her guitar, Monty wrecking his room again(she still hasn't seen the tape recorder setup yet) and the clanging in the vents that keeps getting louder-

Waitaminute.

She only has a moment to step away from the vent before Gregory tumbles out, trying to wrestle a mini music man off of his face. A bewildered moment to gawk at the scene later and Roxy grabs the miniature animatronic like a scruffed cat. She sighs when Gregory tries to hide from her.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing here..."

Gregory had been trying to get to Freddy's green room, since he had at some point lost the photo pass he was unable to walk in the door, plus parts and services was busy so he couldn't use the elevator. When Roxanne asks why didn't Freddy or even Vannessa, he tells her that Freddy has been surrounded by staff doing his manager job, and despite knowing that Vannesa is free of mind control, the two still don't feel comfortable around each other. (blame Vanny for this) after a brief pang of guilt, realizing the kid is practically forced to be alone, she winds up asking about the little animatronic that was doing a frankly terrible job of attacking his face ( getting an offended look from said spider) Gregory tells her that they just have been attacking him whenever he's wandering through the vents since that night. She locks the mini music man in an empty toolbox in the back of her green room for the time being. Roxy figures now is good enough to try to clear the air about the whole decommissioning thing. While there are a few false starts and a bit of yelling, eventually Roxanne does forgive him, and Gregory does apologize, breaking down a bit at being forgiven. He has one request though.

"PLEASE don't tell Cassie I broke you"

Roxanne is taken aback. "Wait, you know Cassie ?"

Gregory relates how the two met on her 11th birthday, and when Roxanne goes back over her memories, she realizes there's a rather literal Gregory-shaped hole in those memories. While she is ungodly pissed at realizing her memories of Cassie had been tampered with, she keeps it down so as not to scare the kid. (The memories of her accusing Gregory of having no friends when Cassie actually is his friend does NOT make this easy for her) "I guess I should apologize for forgetting a friend of someone as amazing as Cassie."

Gregory tries to be slick and ask if that means he's unbanned from the raceway. Hard no from Roxy, but she does explain that its because the Raceway isn't safe in its current state, so no one that isn't construction, maintenence, security or management allowed.

"...is it because of the fire room?"

" The What-now?"

Gregory may still be banned from the Raceway, but he's at least gotten Roxy's forgiveness.

After he's sent on his way, Roxanne has to lay down to process most of the mind shattering revelations that Gregory unwittingly burdened her with. After a moment she calls Freddy to let him know about said fire room, because at least that mess can be his responsibility now.

She pointedly does NOT forget about the animatronic locked in the toolbox. She just doesn't want to deal with it right now.

3/?

I'm genuinely so sorry for me being so slow on this, I completely forgot I had it (ADHD go brrr) so thanks for the reminder buddy! I'll go paragraph by paragraph like I usually do for this

It's interesting to think about how DJ is canonically not a Fazbear animatronic. Gives him an interesting perspective, doesn't it? Love that he's the confidant for everyone. It makes sense, and I love that for him. I'm assuming I.M. stands for Instant Messages here (every acronym like that gains another meaning by the day so I'm never sure anymore), I've not seen him communicate with just that before! I think the general idea for DJ is that he communicates via a sign language which is fun.

I like to think he can also communicate via music - not specifically lyrics and singing - and conveys feelings and intentions rather than sentences, kind of like how animals communicate with each other. It fits in real nicely with all the animalisms stuff I've got going on, and makes it easier to bring Mini Music Men into the conversation, ya know? Text messaging everyone works pretty well too, and I bet it looks real confusing to any techs looking in on conversation history since the others are presumably responding to him verbally, and not through text. They only get half of a conversation from him most of the time lmao

Yeeeaaahhh I get why Chica would have some mixed feelings over Vanessa. She was under mind control the whole time, literally in the same exact boat as the rest of them, but that doesn't change the fact it was still Vanessa's face, Vanessa's voice and Vanessa's gloved hand on the knife. It probably extends to every animatronic since they were all doing stuff under someone else's control, but it probably feels a bit different to what they saw Vanessa doing. She was essentially Patient 0 here, the first one infected and the one to spread the infection. It's bound to be a little bit different for them I think...

Honestly, yeah, Chica's got a good lot of reasons to be angry right now. Maybe even feeling like she's going insane about Roxy and Monty not giving as much of a shit about this as she does too. I bet DJ has had many a Chica Rant from her lately lmao

I know you said Monty vents about arguments with the animatronics, but do you think he and DJ play catch with arcade cabinets too? Just gossiping about what's been going on lately as they toss Fazspace Invaders back and forth between them so they have something to do while they talk... I dunno why that's the first thing I thought of but I can't un-think it now. I love that for them actually lmao they deserve it

As for Roxy talking about her problems to DJ and him not prying... I've been thinking lately that she may have let a few small things slip here and there and there's been a largely collective decision made that the less they know, the better. Like, if Roxy wants to talk about it? Great! But otherwise? They try not to think too hard about it. I mean, it's heavily implied an entire team of construction workers got killed by Mimic, so like... people are straight up disappearing when they're in the Raceway. There's no way she's not gonna be confronted about this at least once, right? She's probably accidentally said some really vague things that can't possibly be anything good, and I dunno I feel like at some point, at least Monty, Chica and DJ are gonna decide not to say anything unless they have to. The less they know, the better. They wanna help, but it's up to Roxy whether they can do that or not, and so, in the mean time, they just have to leave it alone I guess.

Lost my train of thought in that a little bit so I'm not sure that makes the most sense but anyway! Makes sense to me that DJ wouldn't pry! It's clearly stressing Roxy out enough as is without him bringing more attention to her slip ups!

I don't remember what the emails are about or what the red flags you're referring to are. Given the context, I assume these are the logs from the duffelbags, but I'm not sure which ones could be the red flags here. There's not a lot of them that aren't hinting at dead people, the red flags could be any of them at this point lmao

Gfdfsdfds that Mini Music man was like "I'm CHASING you to Roxy and there's not a DAMN THING you can DO ABOUT IT!!!" Little guy is so mad get out of the vents Gregory that's his house >:( lmao love when the Minis Exist

Honestly though, it's fair enough the Minis keep 'attacking' him. He really shouldn't be in those vents. I like to think that at least ten of them have made it their duty to keep people out of the vents for very obvious reasons. Though I also like to think they do silly little dances to make lost kids laugh before leading them back out again so I dunno maybe these ones saw the destruction of Security Breach and thought "fuck this guy in particular"

Oh and the Photopass? You could probably say they're a one time use thing and that's why he can't get into Freddy's room. That would mean kids would have to pay for every photo opportunity in the green rooms and that seems pretty on brand to me. Of course he's always running around doing stuff where he's not meant to be, so Gregory losing it makes complete sense too, it's just a suggestion! He could have a whole bunch of them and keep forgetting to throw them away so now he has to keep scanning a bunch of passes on the door until he finds one that hasn't been scanned before. I feel like he'd start ripping them into teeny tiny pieces pretty quickly not gonna lie lmao anyway

I bet there's a hell of a shouting match between Roxy and Gregory over this. Even if it's to clear the air, Roxy's not the most forgiving and probably not the most tactful or patient either so I bet that goes horribly for at least a little while. Can't say I blame either of them, this is a hell of a situation to be in. I can see him asking for that favour afterwards and Roxy unintentionally looking So Fucking Done With His Shit, ya know?

Pfft love the idea of Roxy being like "... well you can't be that bad if you're friends with someone like Cassie..." but also him mentioning Cassie like this and her suddenly responding like "wait WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE CASSIE'S GREGORY???? CASSIE'S FRIEND???? THAT GREGORY??????" Like Cassie has probably talked about him at some point and she just never connected the dots here. The realisation hitting her like a fucking steam train lmao

Can definitely see her being beyond pissed off at her memories being tampered with like that. It makes sense now that I think about it that all previous memories of the kid they're supposed to be hunting down would be edited by Glitchtrap. I mean, Glitch probably figured out the hard way that if any of the animatronics had a connection to one of the would-be victims, they'd be significantly harder to control... I guess Roxy's got... Gregnesia...

About the fire room though, I honestly thought you meant the one where you set Burntrap on fire in and not the room that's literally on fire like... right behind the dodgems in the Raceway lmao. I was so confused for a second why she'd tell Freddy about something in Mimic's territory until I remembered that no, there's a room that's just straight up on fire for no fucking reason lmao I dunno maybe it's meant to be like that? Maybe it's Roxy's form of stress relief? Who knows? It's probably just a gameplay thing and not a story thing honestly

But uh. Yeah. She's probably gonna be lying down, staring at the ceiling for a good long while after all that. I mean... how many other kids has she forgotten? What if she'd have lost her memories of Cassie? What else did they not want her to remember? Honestly, not sure if she'd cope with the possibility of losing Cassie's memories very well at all, even if she didn't actually lose them...

Poor Mini is gonna be stuck in that toolbox a while I think lmao

[browniefox]

Crisis Core - The Nibelheim Mission

Alrighty, at long last I've gotten back to playing Crisis Core! And before we actually get to Nibelheim, we need to finish up saying goodbye to Aerith! Or, making her a flowercart, essentially the same thing. Also, another long one, so I added a break!

This games is just, it's so funny what it decides it needs to shove in here. 'Did you know that Zack actually named the bar Seventh Heaven, and that the guy who made it already knew it would have a secret room and be a base for terrorists'. Like, it's so funny but also c'mon, why'd ya do this?

Zack's little moments with Aerith are so nice. I think, you know, a more fleshed out game showing their relationship would be better, but they do have such a fun dynamic when they off each other, just this chemistry that is so likeable right away, at least for me.

Saying goodbye to my boyfriend Kunsel, who I'm sure I'll see again so so very soon ;-; I really love him. Again, like Aerith, i wish we could see more interactions with Zack and Kunsel, but you do still get the sense that these two are friends.

So, surprise surprise, I wish we got to see Zack interact with the Turks more. We've had a few interactions between Zack and the Turks - I think exactly three - and then we're told that he's hung out with them a lot since Angeal died. Still, i do like that we get to see Zack getting Tseng to more or less promise that he'll watch Aerith - not just for Shinra, but for Zack's own peace of mind.

The three flower carts <3 I love that Aerith loves the cute one, and Zack loves the cool one haha. And I just love the idea of Zack putting all of these together, trying to make Aerith happy. Even more, I want to imagine they actually built the later two together.

CLOUD SHORT LITTLE BABY BOY!!!! It's so weird to think that he's sixteen. In my mind, he's like 26 in FFVII and 21 here, because that's still pretty young but in my opinion a little more believable.

Can't believe they made Tifa stand so far back, she looks even shorter compared to the tall ass SOLDIERs! It's so weird to be that the climbing Nibelheim scene is just told through photos. I'm not even sure you can tell the bridge fell???

As good a place as ending to add I love that Sephiroth tells Zack he's considering of leaving Shinra. I think it goes with the trajectory of what's been going on that he's thinking about it, and to me Sephiroth specifically requesting Zack to come with him on this mission to me means he's hoping that Zack also leaves with him.

Weird way to ask someone if they're down to bang but whatever floats you boat.

For real, it's so funny that Genesis just kicks Zack and decides to have a moment with Sephiroth. He really is just flailing around trying to figure out something that is going to work. I don't think I totally hate him showing up here in concept, but the fact he reveals Sephiroth's true parentage like, a scene early, is just so weird and jarring and I do think I hate that.

I've been very vocal about hating how heavy handed the symbolism in this game is, but I do love this line and how it contextualizes further the connection between SOLDIERs and monsters and what makes one a monster, and also how Genesis is using this ongoing conversation to hit Sephiroth hard.

Tall Zack! They're fine, but thank's Tifa for taking care of Cloud.

I love most of this scene between the two, getting to talk about their anxieties, their fears, especially Zack getting to kind of vent to Cloud. Also I love Cloud's little pose. Zack's speech about being so frustrated and angry with the choices he's being forced to make, becoming disillusioned, I love it, but then the ending of the scene feels so weird, where Zack compliments the sword and Zack seems to have some revelation we don't?

I'M SORRY ZACK, YOU SEE A LIVING PERSON SLEEPING IN A COFFIN IN A LOCKED SECRET UNDERGROUND ROOM AND JUST DECIDE TO LEAVE HIM??? AND WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A MODEL YOU COWARDS SHOW ME VINCENT!!

The montage of Sephiroth reading is one of my favorite things tbh, you really see him pacing and going a little crazy, I love it. I do *not* love how it throws you right into the Nibelheim fire???? The pacing of this whole section sucks ass.

Oh my god, how Tifa curls away from Zack in hate and in fear??? Brilliant stunning amazing, I love it.

And Sephiroth is going crazy! Sephiroth, who has lost so much, thinking that he's finally gained something, some kind of connection, that he's learned the answer to why he's had to go through so many bad things in his life, why he's so different. This game has definitely made me like him so much more.

FUCKIGN GET IT CLOUD HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH!

Being normal human, that had to have been so hard for him to life and fight Sephiroth, even just the few blows that he manages to land, but I love him getting this moment to finally act.

AND THEN HE OVER POWERS SEPHIROTH!

It is so importnat to me that Cloud, a normal human, managed to kill Sephiroth. That he's a normal guy, a regular joe, who killed him. It speaks to the power of all human people in the whole world of the game, in my opinion.

And Sephiroth, in his shock, doesn't even think to let go of his sword, like he can't even comprehend what is happening.

Seeing Cloud slide down the stairs tho was so fuckign funny.

I love that Zack's vision of Angeal shattering, those wings that mean freedom, was him shattering the glass and obtaining his own freedom. Beautiful, chef's kiss. I hope he killed that scientist.

Yay, Zack and his bestie Cloud! Watching Zack have to go through such lengths every step to get Cloud just out of the mansion gives you such a vivid picture of how hard the rest of it is going to be, getting Cloud to Midgar. He has to clear the way, then go back and drag Cloud through again. I don't even want to think about how hard getting Cloud up the ladder must have been.

He cares about him So Much. He doesn't even worry about himself, just tries to find a change of clothes for Cloud. Wonder what a First uniform is doing here, though. Maybe it was Zack's? I think in the original he slept in the mansion while Seph was going crazy in the basement. Also, Zack trying to get out of Nibelheim as people try to drag Cloud away??? Oh my god, so mean but also I love it? Again, Cloud is this dead weight right now, but leaving him behind isn't a choice, it's not something Zack ever considers.

Oh Cissnei, if only you had more screen time to I actually cared about this. I do love, though, that Zack is willing to kill her for his freedom. I mean he's not, like, excited about it or anything, but that he's fully accepted that Shinra and everyone associated with them is a threat to himself and Cloud, and he's not going to let anything happen to them again so long as he can help it. And god, how he jumps to Cloud's defense the second she sees him??? Everything I've ever wanted.

And then Cissnei, well, good move on your part for giving them a motorcycle. Why did she have a motocycle? We'll probably never find out, but still, thanks anyway.

Motorcycle boys! Further question on the motorcycle is why does it have a sidecare. My sister suggested that Tseng usually sits in the sidecar, which just makes me imagine him T-posing in the sidecar like Saionji does in Utena.

It really never ends with this fucking guy, huh. What has he been doing for the last five years??? That one of the things that's really bothering me is that so far we never get a sense of the passage of time. I mean, last we saw Genesis, he was dying. But I guess he wasn't dying too badly because it's been five years and he looks exactly the same. Personally, I feel like the Genesis stuff probably should have been wrapped up before Nibelheim, or have a better integration into the current time in the story.

Also fucked up what happened to the copy who ate Zack's hair. God, Genesis really doesn't view the copies as, like, people, does he? He's still searching for answers, but I'm not sure he's ever going to find what he's looking for at this point.

And somehow, we made it to Gongaga! I can't believe Zack didn't realize he was getting so close to home? Don't know what we're doing here, but maybe he'll run into his parents, so that's fun!

All in all, I have to say, this section of the game feels like we've lost the breaks. It's just going two miles a minute over here, and cutting out some stuff that I think should have been shown. It clearly expects you to have played the original game, and I don't think that's fair tbh. Oh well, at least it's still fun to play with friends and laugh at all of the terrible pacing issues and weird line reads.

[fouralignments]

Q1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I came back to Blessed By Khonshu, My Son Comes Back to Me after the death of my dad and the loss of myself during those two years of doing care work, I did not for myself, I pushed my thoughts, my feelings downward just did what I was told.

The day of my father's death...I knew something was up, I felt something was wrong as my sister and her boyfriend was over; but nobody was telling me anything. I just went about my day as usual. I made brownies at the say so of my Aunt because my sister was deeply upset. They wouldn't even allow me to go into his room. It was until the evening that I pressed my aunt on it; but she didn't give me a straight answer; I wasn't getting her subtext, I'm actually autistic and one of my challenges is not picking up on social cues; so my mom came in and I screamed at her wanting to know WTF; she finally told me that my father was dying. Not even an hour later, my father died.

It was the worse kind of ableism; infantilization. it came from my mom. She withheld information and made a decision for me. I'd never been so angry and enraged in my life. I find myself not wanting to forgive her. It hurt and cut so deep.

I just felt like I didn't matter. Afterwards, things came out my grandmother treated my dad like shit along with her other children and fucked them big time; she just didn't care and because of my dad's dyslexia he was illiterate (this is pre-ADA). It made a lot of things make sense growing up and how my Dad barely interacted with my grandmother and grandfather; I don't blame him.

I wanted just to write a novel to vent my frustrations; so I chose this one. It started off as quick writing style not as intensive as The God and The Thief to keep people happy while I wrote that and it slowly starting becoming more and more important in my life and so the writing style became fuller.

Q2. What scene did you first put down?

The first scene that I put down was chapter 1, it OG was posted on Tumblr after an emotional breakdown that I had during my Gender & Globalization class; I was not in a good place emotionally. I had to write something dark, so I stayed up until 2 AM to write it.

Q9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

I would have to say there is some cross pollination between versions of En Sabah Nur in my fics.

But there are alternate versions of scenes like when Sabah Nur is connecting to the world through electronics. I was going to write a page just seeing all things he gets into like hacking all the universities in the world and getting the world's history; language files, breaking into Boeing, Raytheon and defense industry forcing them to go congress to explain what secrets got out; shutting down and causing a fire in a Trask industry production plant and shutting down a vital important part that came from Denmark so basically all his electronics and Trask industry filing for bankruptcy; shutting down pipelines in the US; shutting down trains in the Soviet Union; nearly causing black outs and watching all old documentary and broadcasts and tv shows and basically turn ALL TVs on.

Chapter 6 was OG chapter 3.

Like had planned on Erik leaving in chapter 3 (I was going to add an extra scene where he is packing up)

Charles going into Cerebro again and but unable to find Peter and going through his connection the Scotland meadows (chapter 5), however Sabah Nur laid a trap for Charles. Which makes sense with the arrow description in chapter 6. Charles's powers being de-buffed; it nearly kills him; Cerebro destroyed; Erik senses something wrong goes into rescues him and Charles wakes up that night with Erik next to him (he still DEEPLY cares about Charles).

What I have planned is more absolutely terrifying of what Sabah Nur can do. THERE Is a FUCKING reason why En Sabah Nur is considered a god. It makes him FUCKING TERRIFYING.

Charles contacting Raven on an brick phone to see if she can find Peter, waking her up in the middle of the night.

In chapter 5 that OG was Peter stirring the pot between (under Sabah Nur's control; Charles contacting him with Cerebro) Charles and Erik of one another's jealously and it was going to end with Peter losing hope and knowing no one is coming to save him. Peter needs more agency.

Then I made another twist after listening Both Reached for the Gun Chicago (Musical) ; its foreshadowed in beginning, its practically telegraphed.

@mysticillusionfox

[ashesandhalefire]

two weeks later and i'm still blindingly angry over all of this and it feels so unbelievably stupid to be This Upset about a television show about aliens that's on the god damned CW network but here i am!!!!

venting below the cut bc i need to get this shit out of my brain

this season has been so frustrating and seeing all of the "oh, but the hand holding scene was nice!" and the "i'm glad they finally mentioned the song!" reactions have just grated on me so much because for me it just wasn't remotely good enough. i know people want to talk about the stuff that makes them happy and not get bogged down in the bullshit, but i'm tired of having to find the silver lining, of having to give them the benefit of the doubt, of doing these mental gymnastics to put a positive spin of "well at least we got this."

compared to the previous seasons, the version of malex that we got in s3 feels entirely soulless to me.

like, we start with these characters having been apart for a year, and they don't even get a real reunion. max and liz get this whole extended Only People In the Universe moment outside the crashdown where it's all about the emotional impact of seeing each other again after so long while still harboring all these unresolved feelings for each other. the night we motherfucking met is playing. but malex get this stupid 'watch you make out with your non-boyfriend from afar' scene, and then they never talk about it! it's never addressed! what is that??? you set up this angsty moment to get vlamis to cry on camera but you didn't think it was important for the characters to follow up on that emotion at some point??

we never even find out what was happening in that year they spent apart. we get this vague explanation of alex 'handling' project shepherd, but we never find out what that means. what it actually means is that the writers were bored with it and had no idea what to do with it after making the Worst Possible Decision to kill jesse off in the s2 finale in the Dumbest Fucking Way, so they just fucking wrote it out. but they didn't take into consideration that a FULL YEAR is a long time to be working on DISMANTLING A SECRET DISBANDED GOVERNMENT OPERATION TO KIDNAP, IMPRISON, TORTURE, AND EXPERIMENT ON ALIEN LIFE FORMS. what the FUCK was alex doing??? how the fuck big was project shepherd?? and why was kyle not involved???

so alex is off doing whatever he's doing, and michael is in roswell, apparently learning to deflect questions in the mindscape and just waiting for alex to come back. have they spoken since michael left in the middle of the song? unknown. does he know that alex has apparently had this casual relationship with forrest going for the last year? apparently not!!!! so michael and alex presumably haven't spoken in a year, but michael has decided that the time is Now and that's just all there is to it. reason is not important.

so in the aftermath of The Non-Reunion michael gets to be the Sad Boy again but alex is also a Slightly Sad Boy now, and then we get the actual reunion three goddamn days later. and tbh i don't like how tyler and vlamis played the drive-in scene. it was too hostile and aggravated for a reunion scene. and tbh it wasn't written as a reunion because the writers couldn't be bothered to dedicate a scene to their relationship that clarified where they stood with each other like echo got. instead we got michael's trauma being dumped onto alex again and alex being ridiculously harsh about it in return, and we're supposed to say thank you because of the Supreme Character Growth that they didn't just immediately tell each other to fuck off and die. which tbh they probably SHOULD have been telling each other to fuck off because they hadn't spoken in a year and they were both being shitty.

and then we wait another few episodes and they're fighting again and there's even more of the same miscommunication that comes off as unbelievably cruel, and then we end on this cliffhanger note of michael being right outside the building where alex is being held at gunpoint, and it all amounts to nothing. they go their separate ways again without speaking.

and then they finally do work together, and michael's like FUCK YOU, YOU LIAR and alex is like everything i have done i have done for you [eyebrow wiggle] and i'm just supposed to be like yeah! yeah that random flirtatious energy fucking tracks! who gives a shit about the fact that season two ended with alex singing a love song dedicated to michael in a crowded bar and michael walked out in the middle and alex took that as signalling that whatever relationship they had was over and started making out with someone else in public and didn't speak to michael for a year! who cares that michael spent a year apparently believing that he and alex were going to be getting back together and had no idea that alex was actually dating forrest! who cares that these characters weren't remotely on the same page when we left them and weren't remotely on the same page when we picked them back up and we didn't remotely see them getting on the same page during the season! they're there!

and then not only are we suddenly getting this version of alex that is supremely confident in the direction of his relationship with michael, but we get alex saying "i'm doing what i'm doing because i'm doing it for our future" and michael just fucking stares at him. no fucking reaction. idk what vlamis was going for there, but it was flat as fuck. this is the first time all season - IN EPISODE MOTHERFUCKING EIGHT - that michael has had any clear indication that alex still wants to be with him. and there's NO REACTION.

so we romanticize alex's military service a little, hit a man with a truck, and we're back to making out! whoohoo! that really makes all of the shit from seasons one and two totally worth it! it's not like their issues have always been deeply rooted in communication and shared trauma and i was waiting for them to talk to each other about literally any of the things that have kept them apart for a decade! alex grabbed michael's hand and promised to tell him about a useless alien artifact! that's basically the same thing!

so now they're back together and alex works on the machine and almost dies and michael swoops in with the 'i've always got you!' and that's a nice line but it ultimately means nothing. that's not a thing for them because they're almost never around at the same time for michael to have to save alex from anything. there was the kidnapping (which was majorly fumbled) and this lockheart machine thing. that's it. 'always' my ass. again, all flash, no substance. and it doesn't even come back in the end! we don't even have alex in danger by the end of the season to say, see, he did save him again! haha! that's fun!

and now it's like 'oh look they have breakfast at alex's house!' okay, fine. 'oh look they have a talk in michael's bunker!' okay, fine. 'oh look they have a talk in alex's house.' OKAY FINE. but it's taken ten episodes in this season and they're barely saying anything real to each other. alex tells michael not to be afraid of his past, which is either hilariously un-self-aware or intentionally using himself as a reference point (neither being made implicit or explicit by the dialogue!) like, okay, fun role reversal, but this isn't the catharsis i've been waiting for from them. this may be surprising, but i haven't actually been waiting two and two-thirds seasons for michael and alex to unpack michael's secret biological parentage. and the show can't decide where michael's self-worth issues come from: is it from his time in foster care? is it because of his newly discovered parentage? is it because of the secret alien ability he's apparently had since he was eighteen but never mentioned and/or used? so i don't even know how to unpack all of that and/or how it has affected his relationship with alex because they keep saying "it's this. but he's working through this now <3. actually it's this, but he's working through this now <3. actually, we lied, it's actually this, which he's been hiding for a decade and is working through now <3."

and the conversation on the couch is nothing. it's just nothing. at the time, it was like, oh, great, they're saying things to each other! but i look at what they're actually saying, and it's fucking NOTHING.

first we get this weird "my actual family" line that throws me because michael and alex actually HAD a whole exchange about family in 1x12 that we have still not touched on again. so it's fine that they're trying to say that alex helped him find his tried, but it's careless and sloppy to word it in a way that makes me go, wait, what? alex stood in a building that was about to blow up and said michael was his family, and michael has never talked about that again, and now we're going to talk about dallas being his real family? not even max at least?

and the rest of the conversation is just more nothing.

michael says what amounts to "hey, last season sucked for us! felt bad, scoob! this version (which has not actually amounted to a whole lot thus far) feels better (for reasons we cannot and will not put into words). but it's also * ~ * ~ C O S M I C ~ * ~ * lest anyone think we're forgetting our motif.'

also they lean really heavily on this "we're not the same kids we were in high school" narrative, and i think it's weird because the problem wasn't really with those kids. those are the kids that fell in love. those are the kids that saw each other suffering and offered each other kindness even though the world had doled out an endless supply of cruelty to each of them. and yeah, they got fucked up at the end and made bad choices and didn't know how to cope, but i still think the phrasing was doing a lot less than they thought.

and then michael calls back to the song like that was a moment they would both be thinking of fondly and not like alex should be like "oh, you remember that? because you kinda WALKED OUT IN THE MIDDLE AND WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT" and then he does the hated full name direct address that haunts my nightmares.

(and this is a stupid thing because i like the kiss just fine but it's also filmed so strangely??? like the whole scene is this intense closeup of the two of them on the couch and just really pushed in, and then the kiss feels like they're both sitting straight on the couch and trying to turn their heads as far as they can to make out and it's like... why would you do it this way?)

and then the Scandalous S-rated eight seconds, half of which are blurry because of max. will his crimes never stop.

so the situation is currently that michael and alex are having sex on a couch while max is calling to tell them that liz, heath, and the racist sheriff nobody gives a shit about have been kidnapped. but the next time we see michael, he is at a tactical strategy planning session with EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS LITERAL WAR VETERAN BOYFRIEND. and there's no mention of alex, despite the fact that michael must have been with alex when he found out. alex just POOF disappears from the narrative for an episode, and then we wrap up with whatever the fuck those last two episodes were.

alex "i would burn the world down" manes doesn't go looking for michael when he's kidnapped, despite the fact that he already tracked jones once and in the very next episode isobel and rosa are like 'yeah we all use find my friends lol.' alex "i would burn the world down" manes is relegated to poking the outside of the lockheart machine with a screwdriver and giving max a pep talk during their MAYBE THIRD(???) scene together EVER while his boyfriend is bleeding out somewhere. michael 'i always got you' guerin doesn't have a single scene with alex after frantically having his stomach wound sealed up with office supplies because he's so worried that jones has gone after alex to get the lockheart machine. what the fuck is that.

and then we get more tinkering with a radio alone in the bunker because apparently it's all alex is good for. i don't know why he would innately be good at this in the first place, but apparently he's now Designated Radio Repair Guy. but this conversation at least gets closer to what i want with michael saying that he's afraid they're only getting the beginning of something. if they'd actually expanded on the fact that they've both wasted a lot of time, it would have been great!

but instead it comes back to this drama that tbh i struggled to understand the emotional weight of so late in the season. like, my problem is that i just don't understand why michael cares so much that jones is his dad. and maybe that's coming from a privileged place! but michael is thirty years old and jones is a literal supervillain and michael is like WILL I STILL LOVE MYSELF IF I HAVE TO KILL HIM (which wasn't even a thing. liz was going to kill him with The Science from The Spores from The Lab That Got Burned Down By Max or whatever.) and like... yes, you should still love yourself. you don't know this man AT ALL and he has literally murdered HUNDREDS IF NOT THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE and you are IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS AN EVIL FATHER and should GET THE POINT BY NOW. but maybe that's just me lacking empathy, idk.

then, in the crime of crimes, the i love you gets cut off! for no reason! why is this still not something they're saying to each other??

and then via the various means the teleportation that 3x12 and 3x13 regularly employ, alex is back at deep sky to tase max to save kyle but doesn't actually hitch a ride with max and kyle when they saddle up and ride out to the Big Battle. and then when literally everyone is hanging out at the bar, alex is still Off Tinkering With The Machine. and then we get this stupid fucking scene in front of the statue that AGAIN means NOTHING.

we have not unpacked michael's trauma about his hand in a meaningful way. they tore down the shed, but they haven't said two words about what happened inside. michael hasn't talked about max healing him without his consent. have they even talked about the bunker fight? i have such a headache that i honestly can't remember. but 3x13 is alex unwrapping the handana because it's time for the Beautiful Moment of walking hand in hand down an empty street with the massive specter of jesse's untarnished reputation looming over them forever. oh, sorry, i mean-- they beat him!

this is the so-called cosmic romance? this is the relationship that's being given equal weight to echo in the narrative? this is the journey i had to be patient for?

sorry but how many times do i have to kiss the ring before i can call bullshit

there was no equal treatment, no equal importance.

echo got shit this season but all of the characters were CONSTANTLY bringing it up. there is a CONSTANT awareness of the importance liz and max hold in each other's lives, and that is NOT true for michael and alex unless the character in question is a villain who is throwing the relationship back in their faces. michael and maria were constantly constantly together in group scenes, constantly being talked about by other characters. isobel and liz couldn't keep their goddamn opinions to themselves. alex and forrest kissed twice in public and went on like two or three on screen dates and had the 'we're sprawled out in bed' scene. meanwhile, we don't even know for sure which characters know that michael and alex are back together because almost every single one of their moments - romantic or otherwise - takes place totally isolated from everyone else.

so they barely have scenes, they have no real meaningful conversations about their relationship, their getting back together development is a speedrun from fighting to making out with no real emotional beats, and they don't even try to integrate their relationship into the overarching plot. why am i supposed to say thank you for any of that??

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

My weird thoughts about the Midnight Show BETA

Disclaimer: This is meant to be taken as humor, don't take it too seriously. I may exaggerate in some things but I am being honest. I'm also cool with cannon but I have a tendency to yeeted out for experimenting xd

I actually never thought an angry normal bald man jumpscare would actually scare me. Dang it, Jake! You just don't appear out of nowhere on people's face - Oh wait actually I forgot that Baldi's basics exits, so this is the second time it happens. *Insert Doof nickels meme*

Owen is not taken seriously, and everyone thinks him as a D***. Cool

I am not gonna talk about the ponytail chick that later becomes Mortimer host. I acknowledge her existence, but I don't think she's Scout. (It kind of goes against the first game cannon and it just doesn't make sense choosing your Scout.)

Owen actually being an awkward tired dad is welcome. Still, did you thought spending that much money in a book was a good idea.

Jump cuts that take the sense of the story? Uncool >:(

Mortimer just being a little Sh*t to Owen makes me chuckle tho It's hard to think they're the same Mortimer

"You're in BIG trouble mister. " Owen just radiates dad energy

The puppets are basically Owen's family because he's a weirdo who likes puppets and nobody is into that (Except for my Amy, but Owen f*ck things up)

Mortimer has a saw :D

Jump cut D:<

How long have this bastards have the studio and why nobody is getting sus?! GAME EXPLAIN!

Everyone has Owen voice at the first cut scenes. This is the most WTF and hilarious thing I heard

Nick level got some glow ups and I missed my ugly barnacle boi (JK! Nick is bootiful )

Everyone just being playful and cheerful with Owen except for Riley. Noice

Owen attempting to assert his dad and Riley telling she doesn't care about his ass. Riley is just the best

Hahahahaha denial goes brrr *cries in a corner while hugging Moriley*

Riley proving once again why she's the best character in this entire franchise just with her voice lines

Riley prob is an atheist. I don't have prove but no doubts

Owen's VA did great at trying to imitate the cast voices, still their Daisy Voice was hilarious

Ah yes. Nick forces you to sit through his performances and Daisy wants you to help him, and there is Riley not hiding the fact that she hates you and has lower expectations of you on trivia!

Wait... how long have this guys done stuff?! Owen did you took that much time?!

Oh a demon was in the book. Makes sense, but I kind of wanted corruption arcs except for Riley, the queen of Sarcasm prob would take that path anyways

Guy: Dude Destroy the puppets

Owen: NoOoO tHe HaNdEeMeN aRe MiNe

Never doubt the power of attachment and being a looser puppeteer middle age man

So you get to choose what level you want? Cool :)

Oh it's buggy >:(

Love the fact that Nick and Daisy rhyme about what they want you to do. Riley straight up asks you why the hell are you keeping coming back and how are you still alive but her cocky ass just rolls with it. Riley is the best character change my mind

Nick venting his frustrations with Riley. I have a good word for it but I'm not gonna use it, but it's the other name for the rooster xd

Daisy being a sweetheart and saying mom things

Riley denying her daddy issues and trying to convince herself Middle age depressed boi is not her dad. Mood

Riley calling for Rosco is the most adorable thing and I'm here for it

I like how Riley and Nick use technology as traps, but Daisy uses bear traps :D

Riley insulting you or giving a sassy remark when you pass your trivia. My favorite is "*deadpan* Hooray! Hooray! U don't die today >:("

Riley has some fine AF eyebrows

Nick's performances are so well done

Nick slipping out that he actually has a crush on Riley gives the whole "If Riley tries me once more, there will be nothing of her but Gore!"Basically Riley drives Nick crazy that it frustrates and makes him madly fall in love with her

Why Riley doesn't have two different eye color glow?!

No cut scenes like the in the demo? OK then :(

I'm both happy and disappointed at the beta

The midnight show exists but I chose to mostly ignore it in most of my AUs because attachment issues, I'M NOT IN DENIAL, and also because making those AUs last year took a hella time >:(

Wait.... why Riley's icon have a mask when that event happened after Pierson was taken over?!

Riley putting Rosco as an answer for a trivia question is the most adorable thing. This lady loves her giant dog and I'm convince that she's a proud dog mom you can't tell me otherwise

Nick clearly doesn't know Shakespeare

The fact that Nick wrote a poem about his love for Riley implies that he probably has made art using her as a muse but Nick is too embarrassed to admit he likes her. That's so Nick

What if Riley struggles with other emotions other than anger and uses science and sadism to express she likes something. So when she said with such glee that she wanted to experiment on Nick implies that she kind of likes him? Or maybe that she wants him dead. um Both. Yeah Both

[fortunatelylori]

Hi! I apologise in advance if this question comes off as antagonistic, because I'm worried that it will, but please know that I'm genuinely curious. I've been reading some comments by you and @nothinghappensinalstonville and noticed you're both very critical of Sansa during her arguments with Jon, and seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong. (part 1 of 2)

My question is, can you elaborate on why – if you believe she undermines him and her advice to him is always wrong – you think she’s a good match for him, why you think they’d be a good team, why she’d be a good queen to his king? I’m sorry, my question sounds petulant even to my own ears, but I don’t mean it that way, I promise! I truly would like to hear your thoughts on why she’s good for Jon when you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions. (part 2 of 2)

Dear nonnie,

…..

I’m trying very hard to contain my frustration right now because you seem like a very nice person. However, I spend a lot of time and energy writing my posts and comments. I try, to the best of my abilities, to be fair and as objective as I possibly can and explain my point of view in detail. That takes quite a bit of thought and effort on my part so to know that, in your case at least, all of that was an utter and complete waste of time is a deeply disheartening feeling. 

To make it clear, I have no issues with people disagreeing with me or having different interpretations. Nor do I have issues with people sending me asks where they challenge my views. What I do take issue with is when my opinions are misrepresented or I’m accused of saying things I didn’t say. 

If you’re genuinely curious to find out my opinion, you could have checked out my blog before sending me this ask. I have a meta page all set up for anyone to go through and see what my opinions are. 

There is a tendency in the GOT fandom to believe that stanning a character should mean that you believe that character is above reproach, is never wrong and anyone who might disagree is not a “true fan”. By and large, the Jonsa fandom is more open to debate on the nature of characters than other groups but even in our little corner, there is a tendency to try to protect the character of Sansa from any and all criticism, mostly in relation to Jon. 

I understand the impulse to a degree. Sansa has been my favorite female character since season 1. I’ve gone on the bat defending her time and time again and I understand people being protective of her because Sansa is very much a maligned character in the rest of the fandom.

However, the way I stan characters doesn’t conform to this approach. To give you a clear example, my favorite literary character of all times is Scarlett O’Hara. That’s not because I believe she is perfect and beyond reproach but rather because of the complexities of her character that include both positive and negative traits. My liking of Sansa Stark is the same.I like characters, flaws and all and I have no problem discussing those flaws and I don’t think I should stop doing it just because fans in general are unfairly criticizing Sansa. That is not a valid argument to me. I would find it completely disingenuous and hypocritical on my part if I spent my time criticizing every other character, which I do, but stopped myself from doing it with Sansa because my opinion does not conform to the general consensus of the Jonsa/Sansa fandom or because she’s already unfairly criticized in other places. 

So, let’s get this over with: 

seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong

you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions.

I never said that. In this post I said the following: 

My problem with the way this whole thing is presented in the fandom is that it’s taken as a very black and white issue and people feel compelled to either defend Jon or defend Sansa.

The discourse is either:

“OMG! Look! Sansa is undermining Jon! Dark Sansa is coming, people! Alert the presses! This episode … this season … in 2035. It’s coming!“

Or

“Sansa is right. Jon is stupid. He makes decisions with his heart, instead of his head.“

Except that things are never as simple as that and it’s this type of decision that could cost you in the larger scheme of the game of thrones. Deciding whether to pardon the child of a bannerman that betrayed you could go many different ways.

And also: 

So to say that Sansa was right in this situation and Jon was wrong is oversimplifying things. It’s those kinds of decisions that a medieval king/lord is always struggling with and there is no 100% guarantee that you will make the right choice. Jon and Sansa are very young and they have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. There’s a lot you need to learn in order to be a successful ruler, and that goes for Sansa as well as Jon.

In my addendum to that post, I also said: 

I have also talked in the past, on several occasions, about Jon being a poor communicator, acting like a lone operator and blindsiding Sansa with his decisions despite them needing to act like a united front.

In a post I wrote just yesterday, I said this: 

Since season 6, Sansa has been frustrated that Jon doesn’t listen to her:

1. When she argued that he shouldn’t take Winterfell until they had enough men.

2. Before the battle of the bastards, when she warned him about Ramsay and felt that he wasn’t taking her opinion into account

3. In season 7, when she argued against his decision regarding Alys and Ned.

4. In season 7, when she felt he was paying too much attention to the NK and not enough attention to Cersei.

5. Still in season 7, when she told him not to go to Dragonstone and he blindsided her by announcing to everyone that he was, in fact, going.

So this: “this is the way he is, the way he’s always been. he never listens to me” business is a standing issue between them since the start of their relationship in season 6.

I didn’t find it strange that she would say that. She was angry and venting and she’s frustrated with Jon always doing things without talking to her or taking her opinion into account.

if you believe she undermines him 

Except I don’t believe she’s undermining him which is why I wrote an entire meta attacking the “undermining” argument that you can find here. 

In case you don’t want to bother reading all of it, here are a few excerpts: 

Now people have pointed out that, as one of his vassals, Sansa has every right to question him publicly. The problem is that’s not how Jon sees her. He very distinctly separates Sansa from the rest of his court. And since we already had the “we need to trust each other” scene at the end of season 6, I think it’s safe to assume that he sees the two of them as a unit that is supposed to be on the same page so the fact that Sansa speaks out against him in public, instead of privately, feels like a betrayal.

However, if there’s one thing you learn sooner or later, is that there are two sides to every story. That’s why it’s never a good idea to side with one party whenever couples fight.

Because if we look at things from Sansa’s perspective, you can see how she might feel dismissed. The fact of the matter is Jon isn’t the world’s greatest communicator and failed to talk his decision over with Sansa before announcing it to the Council, which in turn makes Sansa feel sidelined, hence her aggressive snark and Joffrey digs.

And that’s because the audience support is very much skewed  in  Jon’s favor. Being on tumblr, sometimes you forget that the Jonsa fam is very much the minority and that exclusive Sansa fans are the unicorns of this fandom (#love4unicorns). The vast majority of this audience will not look at Jon as an unreliable narrator, as every character in this show is, but as the ultimate authority on how this scene should be viewed.

If he says he feels undermined, then it must be because he’s being undermined, which by extension means that Sansa will betray him.

I simply believe that just like Jon, Sansa makes mistakes not only in their conversations but in her approach to certain issues, like the Alys/Ned incident. Jon and Sansa’s arguments, in my opinion, are not clear cut or black and white. There are points to be made on both sides of the debate and pretending like Sansa is completely correct and Jon is wrong is oversimplifying things, as is the reverse. I’ve already talked ad nauseam about the Alys/Ned situation. So here are a 2 other examples: 

Sansa warning Jon that they don’t have enough men  prior to the battle of the bastards: 

She is correct in that they don’t have enough men. That doesn’t change the fact that they’re stuck in the middle of freezing, wintry terrain, a fact that is brought into the plot by Davos who says Stannis lost the war primarily because of the weather, which is in fact correct. In addition to that, by that point they’ve already tried to gather up more men and were denied at almost every turn. It’s not that Jon can’t count, it’s that he doesn’t see any possibility of getting more men and is afraid that he’s going to lose the men he has if he waits. That is a valid argument. 

The reason why Sansa is so resistant is because she knows there’s the possibility of getting more men but dreads having to resort to calling the Knights of the Vale because Littlefinger comes attached to that particular deal. Jon can’t really be blamed for that since he doesn’t know. 

Sansa warning Jon that Ramsay will try to trick him: 

She is correct in her assessment of Ramsay. However her: “Don’t do what he wants you to do” isn’t going to help Jon much, is it? What does that mean? How do you build a strategy around that? She doesn’t know either. Saying that Jon should have listened to Sansa in this instance is … I mean, listen to her about what? He can do absolutely nothing with the info that Sansa provides. 

Her being angry that Jon doesn’t specifically ask for her opinion in a meeting where she is present is also, quite frankly, debatable. Could he have asked? Yes. Could she have just said what she thought instead of taking her frustration out on him in private? Also yes. 

That’s about it … These are the instances where I kind of lean  towards Jon’s point of view more than Sansa’s but also acknowledge the fact that she has reasons to say the things she says, thus making it a more complex situation than one of them being wrong and the other right. 

For those 3 instances, I am now stuck writing another extremely long post trying to defend what are not, as far as I can see, opinions that should garner this amount of controversy. 

But since now I must also atone for those opinions by proving just how much I love Sansa, here is the list of reasons why I believe they’re a good match and she’ll make a good queen to Jon’s king: 

1. She is more politically minded than he is. Their debate on trusting Tyrion is proof enough of that. She also has experience in dealing with an extremely treacherous court in King’s Landing and that will prove very useful in managing their future court. An experience Jon completely lacks. 

2. He has a tendency to be impulsive whereas she is more controlled and strategic. They balance each other out. Jon is a big picture thinker which is fine but that can cause him to miss details that might turn into huge conflicts later on whereas Sansa is much more aware of the subtleties of situations and can identify potential risks. 

3. Jon has a hero complex and a self-sacrificing streak, where he wants to save and protect everyone. Sansa is more willing to accept the possibility that you can’t always do that. But Jon will continue to try to protect people so he needs someone to protect him, sometimes even from himself which is what Sansa can do for him. 

4. In my post regarding the alliances that Sansa and Jon can make, I called Sansa the most eligible match in Westeros. The amount of allies and strategic power she can bring to the table is undeniable and will be among the main reasons why they end up king and queen.

5. They’re both humanists. Despite Sansa’s more calculated temperament (something she learned, btw because naturally she’s not a calculated person),  she would have given a mob of people that attacked her and almost raped her bread if she had had it, she takes charge of calming the spirits of the women during the Battle of the Blackwater and as Jon’s regent, she supervises the food storing and preparations for winter. They both have the same view of what leadership is and the kind of leaders they want to be. They both very much see leadership as a duty and want to do right by the people that they govern.

6. On a personal level, they’re both romantics who dream about a quiet, domestic life. They want to have children and raise a family. So their personal goals and temperaments are aligned. 

7. Jon is insecure, particularly when it comes to how other people view him and since the moment they have been reunited, not only has Sansa understood that but given him the validation he needs to feel secure, content and happy. In turn, Jon can be the brave, gentle and strong man that Ned promised Sansa and that she’s always dreamed about. 

8. They fight a lot, they both make good and bad point along the way but at the end of the day, their fights are constructive and lead to both of them growing and developing as people. They push each other to be better. 

There are probably many more reasons that can be added but this is all I can come up with at this time. 

One more thing I’d like to add before I finish this:

I was under the, perhaps mistaken, impression that people sending me asks or reading my blog were interested in my honest opinion on topics and not just in answers and posts that validate their pre-existing views. If that is the case, I don’t think my blog is for you. I will never shy away from expressing my thoughts on a subject, even when that might be controversial. So if that bothers you, I understand. Please unfollow me, block me or otherwise scroll past me if you feel leaving a comment disagreeing is not enough. I don’t want to make anyone’s fandom experience anything less than a happy one, if I can help it. 

So, in an effort, to keep the Jonsa fandom experience a positive one for myself, I’d like to let everyone know that this will be my final answer on this subject. If you’re ever tempted to send me an ask telling me that I don’t think Sansa is entitled to voice her opinions, that I think Sansa is undermining Jon, that I’m trying to steal her agency in order to prop up Jon or that I think Sansa is always wrong and Jon is always right, please know that I will delete those asks and not answer them. I really don’t like doing that because I love talking to you guys and I really appreciate your interest in my blog and my opinions but at this point, if you still believe all of those things, there’s literally nothing I can say that will change your mind. Thank you for understanding!

Have a nice day, nonnie!

[arrantknave]

Goodevening my dear, I come here begging your help- you are my only hope;-; My school started an expressive reading project, and the play my class is working on is Hamlet. I got the role of Hamlet but since the school had problems starting the project I have only 5 lesson before we perform and I'm like- panicking. Our teacher didn't even teach us about how to read. How would you describe Hamlet's feelings in act II, scene V - act III, scene I - act III, scene IV - act V, scene II and his death?

I’m not sure when I received this ask, and this could be far too late, but here are my two cents for those scenes, just in case.

Some notes, just really quick.Act II, scene 5

Technically, there isn’t a scene 5, but I’m guessing you’re referring to the soliloquy at the end of the act?

Hamlet has just heard and seen a professional actor. He’s astounded by how much control this guy has over his actions and how he can cry on cue – but, he says, “all for nothing”.

Hamlet starts to compare the actor’s motivations to his own. He gets frustrated and disappointed with his lack of progress with regard to avenging his father, and he directs a lot of anger toward himself (“who calls me villain?”) and then later toward Claudius (“O, vengeance!” – a lot of actors practically yell this line).

There’s a tiny shift right after that, because he realizes raging at himself and other people just isn’t productive (and makes him look stupid). He tries to be more rational instead (“about, my brain”). At this point I think he’s calmed down a bit, and with some clarity he finally has his eureka moment: “I’ll have these players play something like the murder of my father before mine uncle.”

From my understanding there is a pang of fear that comes with his consideration of the ghost as a demon; his doubts are residues from the first act.

The speech seems to end with cautious optimism.

So, (bounded) in a nutshell, he’s trying to come up with a solid plan but he gets sidetracked by fears/doubts and anger.

Act III, scene 1

The infamous “To be or not to be” speech.

This speech gets moved around a lot in some adaptations because we don’t really know what in particular triggers this soliloquy.

There are so many ways this could be done and interpreted, but it seems to me that this speech mainly seems to highlight a kind of fatigue, or world-weariness. For some reason I don’t really think I’m qualified to do an in-depth analysis of this speech, so may I suggest this post: http://schmergo.tumblr.com/post/171601384691/i-think-people-often-miss-the-real-point-of-to-be

The part with Ophelia also heavily depends on interpretation. Is he pushing her away for her safety? Is he being watched? It’s up to you whether or not you want to play his relationship with Ophelia as genuine.

Hamlet often snaps after her “at home, my lord”, because it’s often interpreted that he knows Polonius is there, watching, and she just lied.

Act III, scene 4

Here he tries to follow from the second scene of the same act:

O heart, lose not thy nature; let not everThe soul of Nero enter this firm bosom.Let me be cruel, not unnatural;I will speak daggers to her, but use none.My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites-How in my words somever she be shent,To give them seals never, my soul, consent!

In this scene his obsessions and moral nature come to the surface. He’s been bothered by his mother’s union with Claudius since act I, but it’s only now that he gets to vent these feelings of disgust and anger before his mother. He loves his mother (but not in the Oedipal way, that interp has no place here) but the way he manifests it is to be cruel. His harshness at the beginning even makes his mother think he’s going to kill her.

Read it how you like, but some say Hamlet stabs the curtain impulsively to make up for his hesitation in the last scene with Claudius. Upon killing Polonius, Hamlet may or may not be in a state of shock or horror. Later lines would suggest that Hamlet got over it quite quickly (ex. puns: “this counsellor Is now most still, most secret, and most grave” “draw toward an end with you”). At the same time, Gertrude says that he “weeps for what is done” (4.1). Just something to consider.

Hamlet rails against his mother’s act of marrying Claudius. He appears to be deeply disturbed by it – angry, disgusted, and even quite confused (notice how many question marks there are in his whole “o shame, where is thy blush?” line). You could see strands of the first soliloquy in here, where he makes a stark  contrast between his father and Claudius. What feelings he held back in that first speech is manifesting now, almost explosively.

The Ghost’s return may have an effect on Hamlet similar to the first time it appeared to him, which can be interpreted as something like stunned reverence.

Why, look you there! Look how it steals away!My father, in his habit as he liv’d!Look where he goes even now out at the portal!(Dude still misses his father a lot.)

Hamlet is a bit less intense now, but he continues a moral tone (“Confess yourself to heaven; repent what’s past” and his talk of virtue, which is kind of ironic considering he’s just killed somebody).

Act V, scene 2

Death scene. As with many other parts of this play, this is largely up to interpretation, and could depend on what kind of Hamlet you played before he was shipped off to England. It’s worth mentioning though that the prince of the fifth act is often considered more mature than the last time we saw him. He’s not as afraid of death as he was before.

He’s also sincerely repentant about what he’s done to Laertes.

But I am very sorry, good Horatio,That to Laertes I forgot myself,For by the image of my cause I seeThe portraiture of his.

Two parallels here. Both Hamlet and Laertes have lost their fathers, and are trying to avenge them by killing the murderer. On the other hand, (and in a more negative note) Hamlet is in the murderer’s place, like Claudius. If he thinks his uncle is meant to burn in hell, what does that make Hamlet? As mentioned earlier, he’s a remarkably moral character – coming across that realization would hit him hard, and he might even think that, in his final moments, he deserved to die for what he’s done.

[lizzybeth1986]

Note: This is really a Drake-centric diamond scene. So I’m not sure I can peacefully club this under Liam’s diamond scenes per se, but since Liam and Hana’s dialogue dominates the flashback I felt it was important to add. I will list be listing this as a Drake scene in the masterlist. Since this is a Liam-centric set of essays, I'm afraid I will only be focussing on the flashback itself.

The flashback in Drake’s marshmallow-toasting diamond scene basically charts out the same plan that Liam gives the MC in the balcony, but in greater detail. We now know that:

1. The three LIs actually met and operated together rather than working in individual capacities based on their own plans.

2. Liam worked out that Olivia had left under duress too (his reaction when she talked to him already seemed to indicate this, plus he knows her personally, and knows that she would have never accepted defeat without a good reason). The question that now remains is whether anyone has contacted her, or aims to contact her, any time soon. I doubt it, considering that Liam aims to lie low for now. If Olivia is to make an appearance now, it would have to be (like the MC) on her own initiative.

3. All three of them refrained from contact for similar reasons. Liam and Drake did it to keep her safe and make sure they didn’t raise suspicions, and Hana herself was not allowed access to the outside world until Madeleine contacted her parents.

4. Liam knew that the MC would make her way back to the court. Not because he had any contact with the Beaumonts, but because he knew the Beaumonts and the MC well enough to consider her return a certainty. He knew Maxwell and Bertrand well enough to understand that they would trust her and train her, and he knew the MC well enough to know that she wouldn’t talk such an attack against her reputation lying down.

5. Most importantly, he knows this goes beyond just someone who wants to get rid of the MC.

I feel he uses treachery, a pretty loaded word, to describe a bigger picture. As mentioned in the Balcony essay, Liam has an intimate knowledge of how deep the rot within the royal court runs, but up until now has had difficulty getting to the bottom of it. He doesn’t know who he can trust - besides Drake, Hana and the Beaumonts - or who is involved. Or how much of the court is involved (I will elaborate on this later on in the essay).

My breakdown of the post-Coronation focusses on three aspects:

Initial Reactions to the MC’s Plight

In a fascinating role-reversal, the more mild-mannered love interests (Liam and Hana) vent out in anger, while the normally brusque Drake remains calm, and urges his friends to do the same. To understand their reactions, I think we need to take a look at the time gap between the MC’s ouster from the ballroom and Liam and Hana’s entry into her room. This might also help us understand why the LIs collectively chose her room particularly to regroup and discuss their next move.

As we all know, the MC was already dressed before she arrived at the palace, and possibly dropped her luggage in her room before greeting the King and Queen at the ballroom entrance. I doubt she would have unpacked much, given she didn’t seem to have much downtime before the ball began, so forcing her to repack and leave couldn’t have taken very long. Between walking to her room, hurriedly collecting her remaining things, changing into her normal clothing, checking for anything left behind, and being dragged to the car, I’d give it possibly 15 minutes maximum.

Drake tells us before he begins his narrative that he ran after the car that was taking the MC away and missed it by minutes, following which he found Liam and Hana already in her room. Which means, obviously, that any action that the three could afford to take happened after the MC was already gone, and not immediately. Remember that this court, right now, is still in a state of chaos.

If we assume it took the MC fifteen minutes to leave, then we’ll also need to assume that within those fifteen minutes Drake and Hana were being held back by the guards, and Liam forced himself to ensure that there was calm in the court first, complete whatever formalities were left and possibly accept congratulatory words from the guests at the ball. I would assume that the guards might have let go of Hana early, if she didn’t put up too much of a fight. Since the ball was coming to a close with the coronation/bride-announcement anyway, I would assume Liam left soon after. Given that they knew the MC’s things were in her room, there is a possibility both were trying to see if they could find her there (remember, Liam was insisting on talking to her to Regina). Drake took longer, since he was fighting with the guards to get to her, and then chased the car till it disappeared.

Hana

(My Coronation pics for all three have been downloaded from YouTube, sorry)

Hana appears distressed when the MC is dragged out, and is angry by the time Drake finds them. The book cites her as fighting alongside Drake to reach the MC, but since she couldn’t put up too much of a fight (evidenced by the fact that the guards let go of her earlier than they did Drake), I wouldn’t be surprised if she was as furious about her own state of helplessness as with the people involved in the scheme.

Hana’s background reveals a woman who has had to repress her emotions repeatedly for the sake of her family, has had to make their interests her own just to advance her position. We have plenty of evidence from her diamond scenes that she is someone who has been taught to muffle her feelings, her likes, her personality, in the hopes of finding a suitable match. She “doesn’t mind” the pain of a broken arm because it’s the one time her parents show affection. She would rather purposely fail at a piano performance - an activity she loves - than directly confront them about using her as a trophy. When Peter, her former fiance, confronts her about her feelings (or lack thereof), she maintains that she would have gone through with this loveless match anyway, because she felt she had no other option. Same, with her alliance with Prince Liam: it doesn't matter to her parents whether she loves him or not as long as he chooses her, and had she not fallen for the MC she would have gone along with this plan. In fact, until the MC came along, Hana tells us she never really felt alive.

The only other time we see Hana losing her temper is when the MC encourages her to fight back at Applewood. Given how repressed she is emotionally, and how helpless she feels, I wouldn’t be surprised that she chose this moment - with friends she trusts - to break into an outburst.

Drake

In contrast to Liam and Hana, Drake seems calmer and more interested in figuring out their next move. I would argue that this is a result of having expanded enough emotional energy, in fighting the guards and in the subsequent chase, to now mind his every move and remind his friends of what is at stake. During the finale, Drake seems to be the only one who seems to react to the MC’s plight with anger, rather than shock, or helplessness (remember, at that point, we’re not sure why Liam is angry when he announces Madeleine’s name). However this sequence shows us that all three were equally furious at how things went down - only that Drake was able to express his anger as it happened. Having had his space to vent emotionally during the chase, he is able to move forward and think with a clearer head.

Drake, as a commoner, is considered an outsider to the court and does not feel the need fit in. His emotional growth with regards to the MC has more to do with opening up to warmer, happier experiences. Anger and frustration are easier emotions for him to deal with, so I would imagine he doesn’t repress that as much as Liam and Hana do.

Drake’s state of calm in front of Liam and Hana is possible only because he has already spent his emotional energy on trying to reach the MC before her car drove away. However, in the light of the situation, his calm, practical approach is exactly what Liam and Hana need.

Liam

Of the three, Liam’s reaction seems the most confusing during the Finale, and the most extreme in this scene. His immediate reaction to the scandal (or rather, to the impending threat on the MC’s life) ranges from sadness, to shock, to frustration, but he never gives an indication as to what drives him to this decision. He is angry, yes, but his anger is controlled and simmering beneath the surface, evident only by his fisted hands when Madeleine kisses him.

His outburst in the MC’s room couldn’t be more different. He protests against it, he curses, he slams his hand against a table, not caring that he has possibly injured himself in the process. It takes Drake’s reminder that he is being watched - and the implication that his present behaviour could blow his cover - to get Liam to calm down.

Like Hana, Liam has been taught to repress his emotions. However, this is something he cannot shake off as Hana possibly can in the future, but a very important component to how he operates as a monarch. He has been trained from childhood to never show his emotions in public, to never make other people aware of how he is feeling. This quote from Regina (in RoE Book 2) gives us a good idea of the kind of upbringing that’s made Liam this way.

Think of this. This is only his first night as King of Cordonia, and already the court has been plunged into chaos, his intended bride dragged away right in front of him, and Cordonian law hanging over his head. The country is practically looking to him to prove himself a fit ruler for their country, the memory of his brother’s abdication still fresh in their minds. He has mere minutes to make a decision. He not only has to grapple with choosing another woman so soon after admitting his love to the MC, but also is aware that his every move is being watched and one step in the wrong direction could give his motives away and harm her. Not only does he feel anger at the injustice of it all, and anger at himself for contributing to her humiliation, he also has to instantly show outward calm and appear as though the MC doesn’t matter to him. Unlike Drake and Hana, Liam doesn't even get the opportunity to process this overload of information properly.

By the time he reaches the MC's room, Liam's stoicism and sense of restraint are in shreds.

Liam the Person vs. Liam the King

So far, the MC has only seen the personal aspects of Liam’s life - his family, his childhood, the stories he grew up hearing. Most of their scenes together show us a man who is eager to please his beloved, ready to move out of his comfort zone to make her happy. In his personal life Liam is a man who frequently asks consent for everything (eg. he asks Hana if she wants to return to court, and hopes he isn’t “being presumptuous” by considering her his friend), does not like to assume anything on behalf of other people, does not like to impose his needs even on those he considers his friends. Even the moments where he exerts authority are behind-the-scenes and hardly viewed by the MC (eg. the decision to make Drake an informal bodyguard). Most of his normal speech is in the form of questions, leading statements made so that the MC can choose her response, suggestions and polite requests.

In contrast, as soon as he has recovered from his outburst, he explains the risks to Hana, and answers her doubts regarding his actions at the Coronation.

Following this, his language is direct, practical, marked with instructions - only retreating to his normal-person speech to get her consent on returning to court and establishing their friendship. With Drake, his best friend since childhood, he doesn’t even need to do this, since he knows both of them are on the same page and have already established a comfort level in their roles as King and Right-Hand Man. As a politician he exudes confidence (in getting Hana back to court, in in the fact that the Beaumonts will ensure the MC’s safety, in the roles he has enlisted Hana and Drake to play), reveals a calm demeanor, establishes his authority, gives directions and literally spearheads this mission to unearth the truth.

Contrast his speech with the MC (“would it be presumptuous of me to guess that you’ve had similar thoughts?”, “were the roses okay [for the date]?”, “you’re full of surprises, aren’t you? ”) to his demeanor here (“I am the King of Cordonia”, “So it’s settled”, “Drake, I know I can count on you to help the MC”). Once he enters into his role as king, he adjusts his demeanor and personality to do what kings do best - lead.

Applewood

There is no direct connection between this sequence and the Applewood scene with the maid at the end, but the fact that the book leads us to Applewood so early on in the story leads me to believe this is a red herring. The Beaumonts go there to find a lead on the investigation, and seem to have found it successfully in the maid who, no matter how your MC treat her, reveals to her that she was involved. Chapter 2 ends on this cliffhanger for a reason.

As readers of both TRR and RoE, we are aware of the dangers of the court and how deep their intrigues go. The MC isn’t, not entirely. So it makes sense to have her believe that she will finally discover who the culprit is…only for it to be revealed that things won’t be that easy. There are more chances that the lead the maid will give will be weak at best, forcing the Beaumonts to return to court armed with new hints, and an understanding that the conspiracy goes deeper, much deeper. The MC is one victim among many to the manipulations of the royal court, and to the traitors who make it so hard to maintain peace.

Liam hints at this when he uses the word “treachery” to describe what could be going on in the court, and in doing so reveals that the attack on the MC and her reputation could be part of a bigger, murkier picture.

–