#And just talking the whole time while Jeje is just. there. Wondering when they can finally go home again ashdjkasdhkja

[final-servamp-banter]

White Day Event: Mikuni

This man is way too cocky I love him

Mikuni: [Your name]-san? Ahh, it’s me. …Huh? Could it be that you’re outside right now? Was it okay that I called you?

Mikuni: Yeah, about tomorrow. Of course you have time, right?

You: (…… Tomorrow……)

Player Choices:

1. I have time

2. I don’t have time

Option 1:

Mikuni: Yeah, I know. You’ve kept it free.

Option 2:

Mikuni: Eh? Ahaha, well, setting that joke aside.

[Rest is the same]

Mikuni: Exactly, tomorrow is White Day. There’s a store I want to go to, would you come with me?

Mikuni: All right, see you tomorrow.

(He hangs up)

You: (It’s rare to meet Mikuni outside of the Land of Nod…)

~ 3/14 ~

Mikuni: Hmm, maybe this one… Or maybe this…

Mikuni: Which one would be good as new spring clothes… Hey, [Your name]-san, what do you think of this yellow green one?

You: (… Hmmm…?)

Player Choices:

1. I think they suit you well, Mikuni-san

2. They’re a bit too flashy for me…

3. Who do you plan to give it to?

Option 1:

Mikuni: Eh? Me?

Mikuni: Oh, no~~ no, you’re accompanying me to choose Abel’s new spring clothes~!

Mikuni: Really, what kind of criteria have you been nodding along with until now? I’m asking if this would suit Abel.

Option 2:

Mikuni: Eh? You?

Mikuni: Oh, no~~ no, you’re accompanying me to choose Abel’s new spring clothes~!

Mikuni: Really, what kind of criteria have you been nodding along with until now? I’m asking if this would suit Abel.

Option 3:

Mikuni: Eh? You’re asking………… who I’ll give it to?

Mikuni: Isn’t it obvious that they’re for Abel~? Really, what kind of criteria have you been nodding along with until now?

[Rest is the same]

Mikuni: After a~ll, it can’t be helped, can it? Abel wasn’t feeling well today, so they couldn’t come, you know~

You: (Abel-chan was… not feeling well…?)

Player Choices:

1. It’s right at the change of the season, so… they have a cold, right?

2. Did someone break their heart?

Option 1:

Mikuni: A cold? ………… What are you saying? Abel’s a doll, you know? There’s no way they could catch a cold… Maybe you’re the one who’s gotten sick…?

Option 2:

Mikuni: Heartbeak? ………… What are you saying? Abel’s a doll, you know? They can’t get their heart broken or anything like that… Maybe you’re the one who’s gotten sick…?

[Rest is the same]

Mikuni: Well, that’s why Abel couldn’t come, so I asked you instead.

Mikuni: All right, come here for a moment, to look at the accessories.

Mikuni: I’ll hold them up to you, so stay still over there. Maybe this one~… No, this one…

Mikuni: Ah, these ones might be the best. It seems like there are real flower in these earrings. What do you think? Put them on and look in the mirror.

Mikuni: ………… They’re cute? All right, then I’ll take these. (to the cashier) Excuse me, I’d like these. Could you wrap them, please?

You: (Wrapping them…)

Player Choices:

1. (I don’t think Abel-chan’s interested in their gift being wrapped…)

2. (Won’t he have to open them himself when he gets home…?)

3. (I wonder if he always does things like this on his own…)

Option 1 & Option 2:

Mikuni: ………… All right, here, for you.

Option 3:

Mikuni: …… What’s with that look~? You look like you want to say something~?

Mikuni: ………… All right, here, for you.

[Rest is the same]

Mikuni: …… Ahaha, you’re asking if they weren’t meant for Abel? That was obviously a joke, don’t you think~?

Mikuni: As a thank you for coming along with me today… Well,

Mikuni: Yeah, they look good on you.

[End]

---------------------------------

T/N: So, when you ask what’s wrong with poor little Abel, the second choice gave me some trouble; literally it would be “Did someone fall out of love with them?” or “Did someone commit spiteful words or acts showing that they are disgusted with them?”; figured that’d most likely mean in this case broken-hearted. Theoretically, it could also be interpreted as asking whether either Abel has stopped wanting anything to do with Mikuni or vice versa - we can be pretty sure Mikuni is still very attached to his Abel, at least, but yeah, there is a chance we’re not asking if Abel’s broken-hearted but whether Abel broke up with Mikuni, kinda lmao. (Well, whether Mikuni has been broken up with by Abel, but that’s very clunky in English).

When you and Mikuni are looking at earrings, the word he uses is a little unclear - It could just mean “I’ll give them to you”, which is possible, but the rest doesn’t sound like he’s just handing them to you. So I’m assuming he’s basically using you as a living manequin and e.g. holding the earrings up to your ears to see if they suit you :3

Why does the MC use the word for “peel” or “flay” when it comes to unwrapping the earrings. Why didn’t I find just “unwrap” as a translation for the word the MC does use. What kind of skeletons are in the MC’s closet??

So, Mikuni’s second to last line. Is a pain. Now, I think I have figured out the meaning, but please know that translating has taken away a lot of interesting things about his choice of words:“Konna atodashi no kanshuu ni odorasareru”. Not too interesting here are “konna” (this) and “kanshuu” (tradition, custom); but atodashi and odorasaseru are. “Atodashi” means a move in rock-paper-scissors when you wait for your opponent to show what they picked before you pick your own. (The kanji themselves read “koushutsu” and just mean “later” or “following”, but there’s no verb with that reading that ends with -su). Now, “odorasaseru”. “Odoru” means dance; “odorasu”, however, means “manipulate” (In German there’s the idiom “Jemandem nach der Pfeife tanzen”, idk if “To dance after somebody’s pipe” or “To dance to somebody’s tune” is a saying in English, too). However, it’s passive, so, “was manipulated by” (the atodashi custom = White Day). So, what Mikuni means is that, in addition to it being a thanks for accompanying him, today being White Day also played a part in it. But both opting to call it “being manipulated” and using terms from what’s kinda a children’s game feel kinda relevant to Mikuni as a character, so, have this knowledge.

Imagine you’re on a date with a dude and he goes “Well, I wanted to bring my doll, but I’ll have to make do with you :/”. I can’t even be mad though because he looks so cute in this Event. Please look at this, that’s just not fair!

[ID: A picture of Mikuni from Servamp, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a green scarf and a white sweatshirt. He’s lacking his usual cowboy hat, and looks almost bashful, as he has a slight smile and is looking to the bottom-right of the picture instead of straight ahead.]

[angeltriestoblog]

18

Welcome to my first blog post as an 18 year-old! And yes, I am well aware that I can legally drink and could be sent to jail, thank you very much. (Not that I have any plans to, though.)

I reached this milestone in my life last July 5th. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I decided to not go the traditional route and instead, opted for a trip to Korea last April and a week’s worth of festivities with family and friends.

I kicked off the celebration with lunch at a Korean barbecue place with my parents, then had a feast with my extended family (mother’s side) in Italianni’s.

I even got my cousin, Miguel, to go on with me on the ferris wheel nearby where I tried my best to admire the beautiful view of Manila Bay before us while screaming my head off.

For my actual birthday, I treated my closest friends from high school at yet another K-BBQ place for lunch, and then went to my favorite buffet place with my family for dinner. My friends Junelle, Danna and I also finally pushed through with our months-old plan of dropping by the karaoke bar relatively near to us, which served as a great release for pent-up emotions and a showcase of our non-existent vocal abilities.

This year, I also decided to go out on a limb and hold a project of my own. I was originally planning on giving away some of the old books I had piled up in my room to nearby orphanages, but with the time constraints I had, I couldn’t really afford to execute something so grand. So, with the help of my mom, I decided that it would be best to start small. We bought these tumblers from the nearby grocery and filled them to the brim with candies and chocolate bars, then gave them to the kids selling sampaguita at our church. I was really iffy about writing this part, because I know it’s easy to misconstrue my intentions for doing so: some people will probably just dismiss this as some put-on act of charity posted for clout. But, the experience was just so rewarding for me I had to. The children were all so appreciative, beaming at me, expressing their gratitude through belated birthday greetings and musings of how they could use my little gift for school – it kind of made me feel like my heart was on fire, but in the best way possible.

Anyway, now on to the standard realizations I make sure to include in nine out of ten posts.

This birthday in particular was a big deal for me, for obvious reasons. I had always regarded 18 as the age of independence and freedom: I equated it to having the liberty to do whatever I wanted, go anywhere I pleased with anyone at all, make the big decisions and know the answers to all the questions I’ve been asking my elders since I was a kid. I guess I forgot that I’m not the protagonist of the coming-of-age films I grew up indulging in, but a sheltered kid who has had most things done for her and thus has yet to acquire the basic life skills needed to survive The Real World. My parents said that I’m this way because they wanted to give me a life of convenience, and thus did anything that required me going out of my comfort zone, for me. All these years, I never found myself complaining about it or demanding that something be changed but for some reason, this stage of supposed adulthood has pressured me into thinking that there’s something terribly wrong with this because now, I have so much growing up to do.

Obviously, the biggest life change that I’ll have to deal with would be college: having to balance academics, extracurricular activities and different people in an entirely foreign environment sounded so terrifying for me. People would always tell me that grades have and could never be an issue for me: I was born the Smart Kid™ with a lot of potential, remember? I was generally a star student in all the schools I had attended, and everyone knew about it: I didn’t have to exert any effort to prove myself to those around me, because my grades did the talking. But, suddenly I’m about to enter this prestigious university with a rigorous screening process that takes in the Smart Kids™ from institutions all around the country. How am I expected to stand out in a place like that and get the Latin honors I can’t help but aim for?

Extracurriculars also have a huge bearing and apparently are an essential part of the whole college experience, which is weird to me since I’ve never really committed to a specific club all throughout my grade school and high school life. It seemed like more of a requirement to me than anything else, so deciding which one to join was like playing pin the tail on the donkey with my friends.

And, while I’m on that note: what about making new friends? I do appear to be outgoing and loud—especially if you’ve heard my piercing shrieks in my old Grade 12 classroom—but I’m only like that around those I’m truly comfortable with, and even that number has dwindled over the years. It’s hard to find people with the same interests as I do, and I’m growing more and more unsure of the fact that there are Ateneans who like K-Pop boy groups and laugh at the jeje memes I have in my camera roll. (I will cry if I don’t find anyone who can watch Japer Sniper videos with me.) I haven’t had to introduce myself to a new person in two years both IRL and online and I let them lead the conversation for a long while before I can think of warming up to them.

I also have to learn how to drive, which can come off as a surprise to anyone who’s known me for a while. I’ve always been the type to let go of the steering wheel and cover my eyes when the situation got out of control at the bumper cars. But, once I found out that ADMU isn’t actually the most commuter-friendly of schools, I didn’t really have a choice. On my first day of lessons, I was scared to my very core: my mind couldn’t stop bombarding me with stories of vehicular accidents and picture slideshows of cats that got run over. Although I did pass all four days and am now eligible to have my own license, I still have much work to do before I can take our Civic for a spin along Katipunan: please pray I learn how to parallel park without crashing into anything. I guess it would also be a bonus if I learned how to commute to and from places. I love going out, and I wish I always knew how to get to where I wanted to go and what mode of transportation to take instead of always relying on trikes and taxis all the time.

Since I’m of legal age, I’m also qualified to register to vote. I’ve started immersing myself in current events and politics a few years back, and I witnessed several people my age get shot down by adults when they did so much as express their opinions. “Masyado kang bata,” they’d argue. “Di nga kayo botante eh, wag na kayong makialam!” (But, the indifference of the youth would still be met with biting remarks like, “Wala na ba kayong ibang gagawin kundi mag-Internet? Magkaroon naman kayo ng pakialam sa nangyayari sa paligid!”) So now, I feel a certain kind of satisfaction in finally getting a say in who runs my country. But, at the same time, there’s also an intense kind of pressure since I am expected to discern which candidate serves the people’s best interests and hopefully lead us out of the downward spiral we’re currently making our way through.

It was only very recently—towards the start of the final month of my vacation—that I realized how stagnant I still was a person. Must be surprising for some of you. I feel like I somewhat project this image of being constantly put together. Very rarely do I let myself be vulnerable around other people. This is probably why every time I turn to someone to talk about my problems, I’m always met with reassurance: I, of all people, would have it under control, they say. I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

But, that’s the thing: when we’re on social media, we have this tendency to present only our best selves, turning our accounts into heavily filtered highlight reels. This is not only pretentious but toxic behavior, because of its failure to put things into perspective and show that everyone has their own fair share of both good and bad days. My Instagram feed may be its busy and color-coordinated self at the moment, but it doesn’t show the many nights I’ve spent crying because of how overwhelmed I was by this sudden surge in responsibilities and my inability to handle all of them. I mean, things can seem way beyond your control when your brain refuses to shut up and calm down.

I guess my failure to prepare for everything could be traced back to the beginning of this summer. In hindsight, the goals I had set for my four-month break were all very short-term and not exactly centered on self-improvement. I looked through the bullet journal I was keeping at the time, and found items like “clean my room”, “delete Facebook friends and Twitter followers I don’t interact with” and “buy a new study table” – one word for April 2018 Angel: why? I easily could have used the time to learn a new language or pledge to write 10 posts, maybe even pick up an instrument so I could have started a career as a Soundcloud artist and gotten myself a record deal instead of going to college (Mom, Dad, I’m kidding.) But for some reason, I didn’t even think of setting my standards that high. I spent a lot of time lying on my back, scrolling through the same old timelines several times a day as if the constant refreshing would bring anything of substance in my life.

It's much easier to let the regret paralyze me, to beat myself up for all the mistakes I’ve made and wonder why I didn’t do better. But, we all know that won’t help me get anywhere. As of now, I’m trying my best to be more vocal about my problems with other people so they don’t build up inside of me until I spontaneously combust. I admit I’m also quite the emotional person, so I really want to work on having a rational approach to whatever I’m going through.

I found this thread of healthy coping mechanisms and emergency plans to use during times of distress floating around. In case you guys are too lazy to click on the link, it basically says that you should first identify the trigger thought or whatever is sparking the negative emotions, identify the unhelpful thinking style that you are subscribing to and counter them through coping thoughts and actions to bring your mood back to the center. Twitter user thecolor_teal also says that one important thing to note is that you should never believe in your thoughts without critiquing them.

I’ve been doubling down on the worrying and channeling all that energy on pursuing other interests and planning my life out. I’m on my fifth book in the span of two weeks (I have a post coming up on this, so watch out!) and I just hit the 2k word mark on this post, so I can pretty much say I’m on a roll.  I also came up with three main goals that I want to prioritize as I venture into this new chapter of my life. I read somewhere that publicizing whatever you want to work on, jinxes them in a way but since there’s no scientific evidence to back it up, I’m taking the risk. It could serve as a constant reminder of what I have to do, or pressure me into following through because I’ve put it up here to everyone to see: either way, I win, I guess.

1. Be more involved – maintain a firm stance of my own in issues concerning the country, give back to my community, continue to take genuine interest in the lives of those around me and do whatever I can to help them

2. Be more sociable – judge people less; get to know and interact with people from as many different social circles as possible; learn how to make the first move, engage in small talk (!!!) and not end the conversation with an awkward laugh

3. Be more street smart – be confident when on my own in public places, distinguish when I’m being fooled by people, learn how to get out of sticky situations without having to ask for help

I don’t exactly have everything down pat yet but at this point, it’s become somewhat comforting for me to think that I’m not expected to, and that no one my age knows exactly what they’re doing. We’re all clueless kids with no idea what the future holds and if we’re truly capable of handling it – we’re all hanging on to our empty attempts at reassuring ourselves. Anyone who denies this is probably just trying to make themselves feel better and I’d like you lot to know that we see through you! Despite the sheer hopelessness of our situations, I hope you all make amends with your right to not know whatever the heck you’re doing with your life right now and learn to trust the process. You’ve probably been through worse in the past, but here you are: beaten and bruised and still dusting yourself off from the last time life let you down but still alive and valid and fighting and that’s all that matters. We got this, fellow adult-er. And that is not to be mistaken for adulterer, by the way. That’s not something we should strive to be.

[pocket-luv101]

Envy Pair - Stay Beside Me

I’m making this mini series because of this post stream about the Servamps and Eves being separated and dealing with a distance limitation similar to the one in “His Dark Materials”.

Sloth || Pride || (Envy) || Wrath || Greed || Lust

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop, Mikuni?” JeJe knew that speaking with Mikuni was pointless but he couldn’t hold his tongue anymore. Mikuni looked deathly and he had heavy bags under his eyes. For the past couple nights, he poured over documents he stole from the C3 and hadn’t slept. “Rest. You can finish this tomorrow.”

“Pretending to care about little old me? That’s cute. I wonder what kind of expression you’re making under there.” Mikuni threw a crumpled piece of paper at his paper bag but he missed miserably. He clicked his tongue because he knew that he only proved JeJe’s point. JeJe didn’t say anything further but Mikuni could imagine the glare he most likely had beneath his bag.

“I’ll sleep after I find out what they’re planning. I’m close so I’ll be able to go to bed tonight. Happy now?”

JeJe wasn’t. He knew Mikuni too well to believe him. Once he discovered their plan, he would go on to make a counterplan which entailed more sleepless nights. They both knew that he would make himself sick if he continued but only one of them seemed to care. “Mikuni—”

“Can’t you just drop it?” Mikuni asked, frustrated. Usually, he was better at hiding his feelings but the sleepless nights were taking their toll on him. He forced a smile onto his face. “If you’re worried about my health, make some tea for Abel and me. Oolong, loose not bagged, steeped three minutes, with 2% milk and one teaspoon of raw sugar. Only the best for my Abel.”

“Shall I use the good tea set?” JeJe asked sarcastically. He had long ago decided that playing along with Mikuni was easier than correcting him. At least, he was taking a break. He stopped at the mirror and glanced at Mikuni over his shoulder.

“JeJe asks a lot of pointless questions, doesn’t he Abel? He should know how to make you tea just the way you like by now.” Mikuni played with Abel sitting on his desk. While he was smiling, it didn’t reach his eyes and JeJe couldn’t remember the last time he saw Mikuni truly smile. JeJe turned away and went to the kitchen to make tea.

When he set the kettle on the stove, he heard the door open behind him. He turned and saw Mikuni slump onto the table. Mikuni could feel JeJe’s curious eyes on him and explained. “Distance limit. Just hurry up with that tea so I can go back.”

Mikuni kept the documents locked away in his secret backroom which was on the floor below them. He wanted to continue reading the files but he couldn’t stand the stabbing loneliness he felt whenever they were apart. The pain only reminded him that he was the Eve of Envy and how he gained the title. To this day, he didn’t know if he hated that title or not.

JeJe turned off the stove and Mikuni was expecting him to argue with him. Instead, he walked to the stairs wordlessly. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to your room and you’re going to follow me. You’re going to sleep.” JeJe said simply and Mikuni laughed. He knew that JeJe was planning to use their distance limitation to force him to rest. His plan was so transparent that Mikuni saw through it easily. The only thing he couldn’t guess was why JeJe cared enough about his health to risk angering his Eve.

“Oh, JeJe dear, you think you can order me about?” Mikuni threw him a cold smile that dared him to continue. JeJe took another step up the stairs and his smile fell. “Your plan won’t work. The distance limitation works both ways, remember? I’m going to sit right here and you’re going to come running back down those stairs. I won’t let you drink blood if you take another step.”

“You never let me drink anyways.” JeJe rolled his eyes at the threat and walked up the stairs. He ignored the curses Mikuni sent after him and continued walking. The man had to be the most difficult Eve he had but he promised to take care of him the night they met in the attic.

JeJe looked up the stairs and a consuming sense of dread loomed over him. His shoulders became tense when he remembered the lonely attic he stayed in once. He couldn’t climb to the top because taking a step away from Mikuni was difficult so he sat down. He knew the silence of solitude all too well and how lonely it was. That was why he didn’t hate Mikuni’s childish antics despite how irritating they were sometimes.

He gritted his teethes against the pain and buried his face into his knees. Why did he have to have such a difficult man child for an Eve? Even though the thought passed his mind, another thought overpowered it. JeJe missed Mikuni. Considering their complicated relationship, he missed him more than he thought he could.

JeJe walked up and down the steps. He missed Mikuni but he knew that he couldn’t give in or else he would continue to work until he passed out. It happened before and JeJe worried about him. So, he endured the pain as best as he could even as his body screamed for him to return to the kitchen.

Mikuni listened to JeJe’s frantic footsteps but then he realized the constant tapping was really him. His foot was impatiently knocking on the hardwood floor. He let out a frustrated breath and looked at the staircase. Why was JeJe being so stubborn? It wasn’t like he cared about him. He took everything from him.

But he was also there when no one else was, a voice reminded him.

JeJe could’ve told him no when he asked him to help kill his mother but he helped him save Misono. Like Lawless, he could’ve easily killed Mikuni to rid himself of his Eve but he protected him instead. Even when he was at his worst, JeJe stayed next to him.

Now, JeJe wasn’t beside him and he felt alone for the first time since they made their contract. Something warm fell onto his hand and Mikuni realized that he was crying. He tried to wipe away his tears but they fell faster than he could catch them. Mikuni stood so quickly that his chair fell backwards.

“Damnit, JeJe, you win this round.” Mikuni whispered and raced up the stairs. He almost crashed into JeJe who was running down the steps. JeJe quickly hugged him and caught the rail to stop them from falling. But even after they regained their balance, he didn’t let Mikuni go. How could he when Mikuni was clinging to him like a lost child?

He was a grown man now but JeJe still remembered the curious boy who played with him in the attic and wanted nothing more than to protect his brother. He didn’t know when that boy became so lost but he would still protect him. JeJe gently tapped his hat and asked, “You’re not going to make me carry you to your room, are you?”

“I’m not a child.” Mikuni frowned up at him and JeJe rolled his eyes. He nudged Mikuni up the stairs and he was glad when he didn’t fight him. But he did throw a quip at him over his shoulder. “Just so you know, I’m going to punish you for this little stunt. No blood for a week and you’re never allowed to leave my side ever again. So, you’re going to join Abel and me for our tea parties from now on.”

“Just keep walking.”

I like to headcanon that JeJe and Mikuni talked a lot before the whole incident so Mikuni felt like he could go to JeJe and convince him to kill his mother.

[geleenie]

Log: A Journey of a Fangirl

05.17.17

Hello everyone.

I’m writing a post dedicated to seven boys who changed my point of view in every aspect. This might be tiring and I know no one has the patient to finish this but I just want to post and share this for everyone. I’m going to be really thankful if someone will read this.

Please look forward to it.

I’m listening to BTS’ “You Never Walk Alone” album while doing this.

I just want to tell you how much I’m amazed by the group BTS. I’m speaking formally, but I want all of you to know that I’m a very big fan of them – an A.R.M.Y. It’s really amazing how these boys started from the bottom and now they’re getting recognition that they deserve in every part of the world.

As an introduction, let me tell you a story on how I became a fan of them. I actually knew BTS because of my cousin who is a very big KPOP fan and she also introduced me to the KPOP world. At first, she was a fan of both EXO and BTS. While before I was a fan of One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, The 1975, and more western bands. I actually used to hate KPOP before (forgive me) because in our country KPOP is has the reputation of being jeje. But anyways, I gave it a try on 2013 I downloaded EXO’s songs – yes I became a fan of EXO first. Once, I even judged a BTS group photo of them wearing school uniforms and they’re like having this photoshoot in a classroom because it was the wallpaper of my cousin’s laptop and I have to use it she even told me ‘forgive me for my wallpaper’ as a joke. Then I had a hiatus with my curiosity.

 I think on the start of 2015, I research about EXO and I really liked them – I even went to their concert in 2016. Then, I stalked my cousin and I saw on her bio and it says ‘kim taehyung’ so because of my curiosity I searched ‘kim taehyung’ on Google. A video compilation of Kim Taehyung showed up and the thumbnail of that video was him and Jimin’s “beach? bitch?” (if you know what I’m saying) and I also saw that he was part of the group BTS. I also searched him on Google images and the first thing that I said was “he’s not even handsome why does she like him” (but man, I was wrong) it contains a lot of fetus pictures of him and I think there was a photo of him where he is pouting. After that, I watched the video compilation on Youtube and I admit, I was entertained by him so I watched more videos of BTS. I don’t know what get into me but yeah 2015 was a year of me stanning KPOP. I used to be a loyal EXO-L but as days passed BTS is getting my attention and I didn’t realize that I focused more on them than EXO.

 2016, one of my most regretful year because BTS went to our country for 2 times to have a concert and I wasn’t able to attend one. First one was the Epilogue and I really had no money that so I can’t attend the concert. But I can remember that I cried on the day that they came here and saw their airport previews (I came home from school and that’s what I’m going to see lmao). The next concert was the MBC Show Champion concert I think? That time I have the money for a Gen Ad ticket but I was in a real dilemma because I felt like it’s unfair if I just came for BTS and they’re just gonna perform a few songs and I don’t even know the other groups that are going to perform. So I didn’t come.

 [~] Let me add something, during the ticket selling of BTS’ TRB concert in Manila it was the same ticket selling for the The 1975’s concert in Manila and I was there during the ticket selling because I will buy a ticket for the The 1975. Before I bought my ticket, there were two girls before me and they were jumping around because they got their tickets and I was wondering what ticket did they buy and I looked at the screen and it says “The Red Bullet tour” with a picture of seven boys in black and then I said to myself “ah it’s KPOP” because I remembered my cousin whaling about it. It’s just a funny story. After all of that – missing Epilogue and Show Champion – I told myself that the next time that BTS would visit our country I MUST ATTEND the concert no matter what.

 Around the ber-months of 2016, my bestfriend (who I used to rant about me missing BTS concerts – became a fan of BTS due to reaction videos that she’s watching), and I was so happy about it! It was also that time that the management who manages KPOP in our country is giving us some hints about iponing (saving) and I was like “holy shit this is it, BTS are coming”. So I bought a coin bank and save some money – even the money that I got from Christmas goes straight through in my coin bank. 2017 around February (I think) came and they announced that BTS are having a concert in our country. I was so shook and I don’t even know how to ask permission to my parents since the last time that they give me a money for a concert was at One Direction’s concert which was like 2 years ago and they don’t also know that I’m a fan of BTS so I was in a real state of panic. My mind is like going to explode because I have some money but I want to be closer to BTS especially that I’m waiting for years to see them (I don’t want to be in the Gen Ad section sorry for being ungrateful to this one). Days past and they revealed the seat plan and I don’t really know what to do because my money is just enough for a Gen Ad section and two of my bestfriends are planning to buy an Upper Box A ticket. I know that my father can add more money to my savings, but I was too scared to ask! But a week before the ticket selling, I finally had the guts to ask my father about it because it’s getting really close!

 Do you want to know how I asked for permission? Lol, I printed it out on a short bond paper and left it in his room before I go to school since he’s driving me to school he would see it  after he drop me off. I was so anxious while I was at our school, my classmates and friends are even wishing me luck. When I got home, I don’t even know but my hands are trembling to see the paper but when I looked at it I screamed because I was so happy that he agreed to it! April 2, it was the day of our graduation and the same as the day of the ticket selling. The ticket selling is at 10 am and our graduation is at 4pm. Around 7am we arrived at the mall and we waited for hours and they finally opened the gates at 10:15AM I was really pissed because of the unfair opening of the gates. My dad told me to go home at 1pm even if I still don’t have a ticket and I was really anxious because it’s been hours at the counter and line is not moving a single inch. But around 12pm a miracle happened and me and my friends got our tickets so we rushed off to go home and had a successful graduation. I actually worked hard to be an annual honor so the concert ticket can be my reward after all of my hardworks since I never asked something from my parents even if I achieve something in school. May 7, 2017 – I finally saw them and it really changed my life.

 BTS, an amazing group of seven boys, I know I wasn’t here during the start of the career but I’m very thankful that I knew them. But even as a fan of them for 2 years, you can really see their humble beginnings and their rich success today. You can really see how they worked hard to receive all of their achievements. You can feel their love for the fans to the point that they unite as not just as a fandom but as a family. What’s more important is the passion that I felt after seeing them live. I actually been in a lot of concerts but I never cried so hard before when I attended their concert. During ‘Not today’ I admit I cried a lot even if it’s just the start, but what amazed me is there were some songs that made me cry like my tears would just fall and I would not realize that I was crying especially on their solo songs. One thing that I felt during the concert was the DEDICATION. It’s just WOW! I just realized how fast the concert went by because they were both talking in English and our native language which is really amazing because it was clean and you can see the perseverance that they had to memorize those phrases and words. They didn’t need a translator the whole concert to communicate with us, isn’t that amazing? What I also liked is the unity of the ARMYs inside the arena especially in singing their songs, fanchants, and doing the fan projects. Their amazing talent to perform live also touched my soul.

 Moving on (wow this is long), this part is where I’m going to tell you on how much I appreciate the members one by one.

 Kim Namjoon

I just want to give applause to this guy. His performance (Reflection) is really heart-touching. How dedicated this guy can be? – from guiding his members, producing songs, his warm words, never forgetting to thank ARMYs, working hard to communicate to other by language, being a leader, and many more. I just can’t believe that someone like you truly exists. Always remember that we’re thankful for you uri, leader-nim! You also have the patience on everything. Your music works are actually a real masterpiece that cannot be destroyed especially that it shows your real passion in this industry. I also want to thank you for being the foundation of the group and without you I cannot imagine what BTS would be.

  Kim Seokjin

I am truly thankful for this guy. His patient is really amazing especially when it comes to the maknae line like he always let them tease him even if he’s the eldest one. Thank you for bringing us jokes and for making us laugh through it (let’s be honest here his jokes are not really funny but what’s funny is the way that he’s delivering it), for taking care of six kids and being like their mother in the group, making sure that they eat well, for being also sweet to the fans (I will never forget the ‘mahal kita’ that he wrote on a paper to show us). I also want to praise you for your great visuals, your amazing vocals, and the most important is your willpower on dancing even if it is your weakest point you worked really hard to keep up with the other members despite of the group’s killer choreographies.  

  Jung Hoseok

A beautiful ray of sunshine. This one really got me during the concert. He was all smiley! Then one second he would turn into a sexy monster. His dancing and vocal skills are really amazing in person! You can really feel his happiness and when he’s there the surrounding’s actually turning into unicorns and sunflowers. As you can see, he’s really one of the most hardworking members in the group – from doing choreographies and teaching the members about the choreography. What I also like about you is you’re never afraid to show you emotions to the fans. He’s also very patient. I really wish for your happiness for a long time ♥ you’re always going to be our hope and angel!

  Park Jimin

To our no. 1 mochi, we all know how much you’ve worked hard to take care of every member. You never let someone left out and there were times that you acted like the oldest brother because of your concern to everyone. I hope that you’ll have more confidence on yourself because honey you’re so talented! You never fail to show how grateful you are to every member and you never fail to be support each one of them. Your thoughtfulness melts our heart as well as your beautiful eye smile. Thank you also for showing your love for us, ARMYs!

  Jeon jungkook

You really deserve the title of being the ‘golden maknae’ hands down! To the youngest in the group, I really have a lot to say to you. I know how much you care for your hyungs and you don’t want to be a burden on their shoulders. You show how strong you are so your hyungs won’t have to worry and I think it’s very thoughtful of you for the members. I also like your carefree personality. You always show how you worked hard on something. Day by day, you made us realize that you’re no longer the baby Kookie that we used to see but now you’ve grown up as a very manly man. But forever and always you’ll still be the baby in the group!

  Min Yoongi

First of all, if Min Yoongi would have his own solo concert I would definitely attend it. If you ever see this guy perform infront of your own eyes, you will never doubt his experience in life and can truly feel every words coming from his mouth are coming from his heart. From being the guy who’s having difficulty to sell his mixtape to a guy who’s now producing songs for himself, the group, and also to other artists. Min Yoongi, you’re really an inspiration to everyone. We all know that you have a tsundere personality and it’s all fine because even if you don’t show it we know how much you love Bangtan and ARMYs. You’ve reached far and became an inspiration to us because you never once gave up to reach for your dreams.

  Kim Taehyung

Get ready for this one. To my ultimate bias in the group, to the guy who made me curious and discover about BTS, can I just tell you how much I love you? No one has actually made me feel like this and it sounds really cheesy because you don’t even know me. I just want to tell you the things that I like about you. I like the way you smile, your deep voice, your funny attitude, your fanservice, how true you are to yourself and to the people around you, your seriousness at times, the way you treasure your family, there’s a lot more but I just want you to know that I love every single thing about you. You make my heart flutter by just seeing a photo of you. What more when I saw you live – I can’t believe how unreal you look but you’re just there infront of me even if you can’t see me from the crowd. I waited for a long time to see you and the moment finally came. I know it’s unfair but I really focused a lot on you during the concert because it might be the last chance that I’m going to see you (but I’m hoping not). After the concert and happenings, I really told myself that the next time that I’m going to see you I hope that I won’t be sections away from you but I’m hoping that the stage and the barricades would just be the barrier between us. I hope that the next time that I’m going to take a picture with you it would not be a standee anymore. Am I dreaming too much? But I don’t think it’s not bad to dream big if what you’re aiming for is your inspiration for a long time. I already told you that I love you but I’m pretty sure that you didn’t hear it because I’m just one of those people who told you that in the crowd. But it’s really nice to shout it out while you were infront of me. I hope that I can tell that to you in person even if you would just take it from me as a fan. I hope that I can thank you how much you’ve changed my life in a better way. Thank you for introducing me to BTS. I love you. I wish for your endless happiness, healthy life and a bright future for you and the boys.

 All in all, thank you BANGTAN SONYEONDAN for touching our hearts with your hardworks. It’s definitely worth it to be destined as your fan because you never disappoint us. You deserve the recognition that you’re getting from your music, your bond as a group, focus and courage. I also want to thank the roots of this group, BANG PD-nim and of course to the staffs who are always taking care of boy – to Big Hit Entertainment. I wish for your long-time success. Now back to the boys, please don’t stop on giving your best and please live happily because that’s what we really want for you. Don’t also forget to be healthy at all times! Please don’t listen to the people who are hating on you and questioning your success because they don’t even know what you guys went through to achieve what you are now.

 Lastly, in my journey as a fangirl I want to give a shoutout to my supportive bestfriends – 7H. To my childhood bestfriend, Ysa. To Zoe, because she’s also my main fam. Of course, to Happee Sy who managed BTS’ concert in our country. I’m really thankful for her because she made it possible for us to see BTS and even gave us hints about it so we can save some money beforehand. To my ever supporting parents you da best!!

 All in all, BTS and to the people who I encountered through this journey, I salute you!

 Yours truly,

Geleen

[wonderfulchaos69-blog]

Any Tetsono HeadCanons involving Mikuni?

Sure! I was excitedly babbling away last night about how much I like the idea of protective Mikuni in regards to his little brother. He’d be such a sour grape deep down, bitter to a fault (and spitting vitriol through a smile).

- I think the first thing I want to address is Mikuni’s reaction to what happened with Lily (when the watch was damaged) and how he takes a hands off approach when his brother is in danger. There’s a sense of inner conflict there, but that’s honestly free to debate! He instead tries to get Shuhei to do something about it in his stead, because he doesn’t want to set foot on his father’s property or have anything to do with that place.

So just imagine if Tetsu and Misono are having another of their sleep overs and cuddling, and then boom! Suddenly they’re not so alone anymore thanks to Mikuni’s interference. Whether he caved and had Johannes make something for spying (and still sobbing about how many dolls he sacrificed for that to become a thing) or just flat out paying someone to do his dirty work for him (he’s got a certain number on speed dial even if he’d rather drink sulfuric acid than admit it). Or maybe he even told Lily that his charge was in danger! Who knows, really, but you can bet he’s going to get in the middle of that if he can.

- Now this one is a probably a silly one, but I was musing on how tall Jeje is and how Mikuni measures up, and I got to thinking: what if he has a thing against tall people. Mikuni seems like the type that is very prideful and probably gets shaken when things don’t go his way. (Can you imagine what a thrill he must have gotten by having someone like Jeje, whose height is pretty intimidating, under his command?) Then we have Tetsu walking into the picture, being buddy-buddy with his brother, and Mikuni just … has no control over anything. He doesn’t get to decide who his brother dates, what his brother does, or how that relationship plays out.

Yet Mikuni has seen what love and lust do to people, and he doesn’t trust it one bit. He probably would talk down to Tetsu, mock Misono’s choices to have them reevaluated, and generally planting insecurities between them when given any opportunity. Not that Tetsu has any clue what Mikuni is doing and continues to be his polite, oblivious self. Though if Misono ever starts doubting their relationship or anything of the sort, Tetsu’s going to be there to quietly hold his hand and tell him how much he treasures him. It doesn’t even have to be in words. Tetsu rubbing his back, resting his chin on top of Misono’s head, drawing nonsensical shapes with the pads of his fingers into the warmth of Misono’s skin. Mikuni inevitably making their bond stronger for all the plotting he’s doing? Yes please, sign me up for some of that.

- Mikuni internally screaming about how dense Tetsu is, wondering why the guy can’t get a clue already and realize he’s being hated with the utmost passion. Because if he had to sit through one more round of, “Isn’t my boyfriend so great? You have to admit he’s pretty great. Not that I tell him or anything, he’d probably grow five damn centimeters from an inflated ego,” then Tetsu should be feeling his pain too.

If Tetsu ever visits the shop, he probably receives the frostiest of welcome with the brightest of smiles. Mikuni changing the signs so the prices are higher as soon as Tetsu walks in (because he can spot that tall walking blond tree anywhere)?? Yup, no doubt has a whole system worked out so Jeje knows when to help him flip the signs to “Tetsu mode”. This would likely backfire on Mikuni, as Tetsu would instead recommend either lowering the prices or selling things people would be more willing to buy, because trying to out-play someone in the customer service business? Shame on you, Mikuni.

Still, I like the idea of this fueling Mikuni’s outrage and bitterness to a problem he can’t control/manipulate in any way.

- I do want someone to eventually call Mikuni out on his shit. And since that’s unlikely to be Jeje, for a lot of reasons, and Misono would be too unsure (though I do hope he grows more confidence and stands up to his brother in the end!), I think Lily could play Devil’s Advocate nicely here tbh? Lily would want an explanation as to what Mikuni thinks he’s doing; not in a confrontational way, maybe just acting like it’s no big deal and that’s he’s here for idle gossip to pass the time. Mikuni indulging him and venting in a low, sarcastic tone of voice. I’ve been entertaining the idea of these two arguing in a sort of passive aggressive way for a while now, all smiley smiles and slowly festering anger.

Hmmm, the well has run dry on the Tetsono + Mikuni headcanons for the time being, but I hope these were to your liking at the very least ^^ I have a lot of Mikuni feels, can you tell?

Thank you for asking me this one, too =) It’s fun to write out some of the things that have been on my mind!