#And it woke up a nasty side in myself that I don't like. Not that I said anything undeserved

[hajihiko]

💕

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Cramps

Summary: After going off of birth control, your periods have been a little more intense than you're used to. What starts out as a stressful morning between you and your husband, very quickly turns into a night that bodes very well for the both of you.

Paring: Husband Frankie Morales x Wife f!reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 5.4K on the dot (idk how we got here)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) PERIOD SEX, unprotected p in v sex (do better, but also they want a baby so), vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving, again, you're on your period but our pussy eating king Fransisco Morales is an unstoppable force of nature), creampie, praise kink, big fat nasty breeding kink (it's who I am now, I won't apologize for it), Frankie's got a NASTY mouth, Frankie is the best husband, reader is on her period/has period symptoms, talks about family planning/not being on birth control, use of nicknames (hermosa, quierda, cariño), reader has no physical descriptions besides that she can wear Frankie's clothes

A/N: Well... This was gonna be a drabble... and then it was just gonna be fluff.... and then it was gonna be just some implied smut... and now, we're here??? Idk, don't ask me 🥴 self indulgent bc I just finished my period (and my periods have been whack since stopping bc) and what better way to heal myself than imagining what Frankie would be like taking care of you 🥺 also pls be nice to me this is my first time writing Frankie and I'm v nervous EEK I hope you enjoy!!! sorry Javi bby, I still love u

Bitchy. 

You wished you had a better word to describe your mood for today, but truth be told, bitchy was by far the most accurate. 

You and Frankie were hoping to start trying for your first baby soon, and had recently gone off your birth control after your doctor had told you it may take a few months for your body to regulate itself before you had a better chance at getting pregnant. Your doctor had also  warned you about many of the symptoms and side effects that stopping the pill could have, one of those being becoming more aware of your emotions and mood swings throughout your cycle. That, you were prepared for. 

What you were not prepared for, was to feel like an absolute psychopath in the days leading up to your period. 

 Your cycle had  been wonky the past few months as your body began to sort itself out- you had a feeling your period was probably about to start soon, but hadn’t thought much about it, considering your terrible and grouchy mood had overshadowed it. You had tried your best to pull yourself together the past few days, chalking up your grumpiness to long hours at work, or just being in a weird funk, but today, you woke up with a fire in your gut, ready to fight, and poor Frankie was about to be your punching bag. 

Sweet Frankie had been nothing short of a saint when it came to just about anything, but dealing with your newly heightened emotions right before your period really should have earned him some sort of Presidential Medal of Bravery, considering that your newly discovered highs and lows while PMS-ing were just as frightening as any time he had spent during his time in the military. 

Unfortunately for your husband, despite his best efforts, he had been on your nerves all morning. Not because he was really doing anything wrong, but because the little things that you were normally so good about letting go, or the patience you frequently had seemed to have flown out the window, and you were convinced that if Frankie even breathed the wrong way, you were going to absolutely lose it. 

So when unsuspecting Frankie decided to ask you a simple request about after work plans, there was very little he could have done to prepare for your response. 

“Morning, Hermosa.” Frankie cooed, emerging into the kitchen, his hand rustling through his untamed, sleepy brown curls as he let out a yawn and a stretch, the slight softness of his stomach peeking out between his t-shirt and pajama pants as he raised his arms above his head before settling behind you. He wrapped himself around your waist, pressing a gentle kiss into your shoulder as you finished putting the last of your lunch in your bag for work, trying to force yourself to focus on his sweet good morning, rather than the empty bowl of cereal in the sink that had greeted you first thing when you woke up, already starting you off on the wrong foot in your already irritable mood. 

“Morning, babe.” You grinned, forcing yourself to forgo the annoyance hidden behind your smile as you pecked a quick kiss on Frankie’s lips before gathering the rest of your things for the day scattered across the kitchen table. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to make you breakfast this morning because I was running late, but there’s extra scrambled eggs on the stove if you want them. I’m really sorry, Frankie, I gotta head out, have a good day, I’ll see you later okay?” You sighed, slinging your work bag over your shoulder, your hands full of your coffee mug, water bottle and keys, your cluttered grip and running behind schedule only adding to your frustration. 

“All good, Querida, no worries. Hey, actually baby, before you leave,” He paused, setting down the coffee mug he was just about ready to take a sip of, as if a little lightbulb had just gone off in his brain, “do you mind picking up stuff to make that really good buffalo chicken dip for Benny’s tonight? I told ‘em we’d bring like, an appetizer or something, if that’s okay.” 

For Frankie’s sake, you couldn’t have been more thankful that you had your back turned to him, because if looks could kill, Frankie Morales would have been a dead man. 

Every rational part of your brain knew that even though his request perhaps wasn’t the best timing, stopping by the store and making dip to bring to Benny’s for game night really wasn’t that much time or effort out of your day. But today, it seemed like every part of your brain but the rational one seemed to be functioning properly, and the raging, irrational part might as well have heard that Frankie wanted you to prepare and cook a Thanksgiving meal for 74 after you got home from work. 

You took a deep breath, your grip tightening around the items in your hand, praying with every bone in your body that someway or another, you had misheard your husband. 

“Tonight? As in, like, today, after I get home from work?” You questioned, trying to do your best to keep your tone from sounding too condescending. 

“Yeah, we don’t have to be there until 7, I just don’t think I’m gonna have time to since I probably won’t be outta work until 6:30.” He shrugged nonchalantly, taking another swig of his coffee 

Oh yeah, you’d heard him right.  

You let out a deep sigh, even more over dramatic than you had intended it to be, arms crossed over your chest and stark frown spread across your face as you turned towards Frankie. 

“Oh, perfect! That’s a great thing for me to find out about at 7:45 A.M. the day of, Frank!” Your voice oozed with ferocious sarcasm, now slamming your things back down onto the table to run your hands over your face. “No, that’s great, because there’s nothing I wanted to do more than to come home and make buffalo chicken dip instead of all the other shit I needed to do today before we left! Amazing! Thank you!” 

At this point, you were almost positive that if your eyes rolled any further, they’d be in the back of your skull, letting out another angry huff as you shook your head at Frankie, who was looking absolutely petrified as he leaned back against the counter, eyes darting to the floor to avoid yours, running his hand over the wispy curls at the nape of his neck. Frankie began to stammer, trying to defend himself from your wrath. 

“Hermosa, I’m- I’m sorry? I know it’s last minute, but you normally make it every time we go over there, I just- I figured it’d be easy for you to do? You can get something else, or I can try to stop by the store really quick on the way home, I just might-” 

“Nope, you want buffalo chicken dip, apparently I’m making buffalo chicken dip!” You groaned, collecting everything back into your hands, swearing under your breath as you tried to balance everything in your grip. “Jesus, okay, I need to go to work, just- I don’t even know. I gotta go, Frankie.” 

“Querida, I-” Frankie pleaded, beginning to trail behind you as you made your way to the front door. 

“Frankie, whatever, it’s fine! I’ll make the stupid dip! I have to go to work, I’ll see you later.” You could feel the muscles in your jaw beginning to clench as you gritted your teeth, trying with everything in you to keep from exploding as you headed out of the house. Without even a kiss goodbye, you left Frankie in the doorway, watching you throw your things in the car and slam the door behind you as you drove down the driveway. 

But as soon as you were on the road and your house was out of view, you could instantly feel the tears beginning to well in your eyes, slowly streaming down your cheeks as you began to sob, wondering why you had ruined the morning over as stupid as an appetizer, and even worse, that you had been a complete asshole to your husband about it. 

You couldn’t have been more thankful that work had been quiet today- no meetings on the schedule, and no one coming to bother you, leaving you plenty of peace and quiet to continue sulking and brooding in your unpleasant mood. 

Right around lunch time, you found yourself eating alone in your office, wishing your lunch was about ten times saltier and chocolatier than it was, crying to yourself as you watched a video of a dog meeting its new human sibling for the first time.

Just as you were beginning to pack up the rest of your lunch and start back up with your work, you felt a terrible twinge in your lower stomach that had you just about keeled over in pain, followed by that all too familiar feeling in your underwear. 

Frantically scrambling, you reached into your bag to pull out a tampon, hurriedly shuffling to the nearest bathroom, only to reveal the murder scene equivalent as you pulled down your pants. 

Your period had come.  

In that moment, as much as you were dreading the pain and misery that was the next few days to come, you couldn’t also help but feel a slight sense of relief, realizing that you were in fact, not actually a crazy person for the way you were feeling, you were just PMS-ing out of your mind. You couldn’t also help but feel absolutely awful for your unjustified freak out at your husband this morning, your heart sinking with guilt as you made your way back to your desk, immediately grabbing your phone to text Frankie. 

“Hey… I’m so sorry about this morning. What you were asking me to do wasn’t a big deal at all and I totally freaked out on you. My period just started, I think that’s why I’ve been such a bitch this morning. I’m sorry, Frankie, I love you.💕 ” 

It was almost instantly after you hit send that the reply bubble popped up in your message, your heart pounding anxiously waiting for your husband’s reply. 

“It’s okay, I kind of had a feeling 😉 babe, you weren’t being a bitch- I should have talked to you about it sooner. Shitty timing on my part. I’m sorry. I love you too, Querida.” 

Before you could even respond, another message popped up below his first. 

“Don’t worry about going to the store or making anything tonight. I already texted Benny and told him we couldn’t come. We can spend the night in, just the two of us. I can pick up takeout on the way home if you want and we can pick a movie to watch.” 

You could feel your frustrated facade beginning to melt away as your lips shifted from a pursed frown to a small smirk reading Frankie’s text, your thumbs quickly tapping across the screen of your phone to reply. 

“Thank you. You’re the best.” 

“Of course. Hopefully none of your co-workers ask you to make buffalo chicken dip before you leave 😘” 

“Oh shut up, meanie.” 

“Just kidding. Have a good rest of your day, love you. 💙

“Love you too. 🤍” 

Although the rest of your day was nowhere near enjoyable, given the fact you felt like you were getting punched repeatedly in the uterus and your personality resembled that of Oscar the Grouch, you knew that your night in with Frankie was your light at the end of the tunnel, and only needed to make it a few more hours before there was at least some sweet relief finally headed your way. 

Despite the constant stabbing pain in your lower stomach and back, your drive home from work had you in much better spirits than your drive there, now not only having an explanation as to why you had felt like such a mess, but also knowing the rest of your night was going to be dedicated to nothing but cuddling up in your comfiest clothes and snuggling up next to Frankie on the couch. 

As you pulled down your street, you were surprised to see Frankie’s truck already parked in the driveway, wondering what he was doing at home almost an hour earlier than he had mentioned he would be this morning. Gathering all of your things out of the back of your car, you quietly entered your home, confusion scrunching in your brow as you called out for your husband. 

“Frankie? Babe, are you home?” 

Before you could even kick off your shoes or hang up your coat, Frankie had already appeared at the front door to greet you, boyish grin spread across his face as he grabbed your things out of your hand, carefully placing them on your entryway table before engulfing you in a bear hug, his broad arms wrapping around your body and pulling you closer into his chest. 

You could feel all the muscles in your body instantly relax as your face rested against the soft cotton of his t-shirt, soaking in the familiar woody and savory scent of him, letting yourself be consumed by every ounce of his embrace. 

“Hi Hermosa.” Frankie cooed, pressing a soft kiss against your temple, running his hands up and down your back as you looked up at his sweet brown eyes shining down at you. 

“What are you doing home so early? I mean, not that I’m mad about it at all, I just thought you said that you had to work until 6:30 and-” 

“Told my boss I had to head out early for a family emergency.” Frankie smirked, laughing at you playfully rolling your eyes from his so-called excuse. 

“Last time I checked, your wife being a grump because she’s bleeding out of her cooch doesn’t classify as a family emergency, Fransisco.” You teased, giving him a little shove, making the two of you giggle in tandem. 

“Eh, close enough. I’m really sorry about this morning, querida. I was a dick for not talking to you about plans beforehand and just assuming you could go do it. It wasn’t fair of me.” 

“It’s okay, Frankie. What you were asking for wasn’t a big deal and I made it one because I’ve been a psycho all day. I’m sorry, too.” 

“Well,” Frankie paused, pressing another kiss onto your cheek, the width of his palm gently cradling your jaw as you stared up at him and his sympathetic smile, “number one, you are not a psycho. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable you must feel right now, so even if you were, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. Number two,” he paused again, shifting his kiss from your cheek to your lips, his thumb delicately swiping across your skin, “you’re my wife and I love you more than anything, and if I can take a little time off to help make you feel better, it’s the least I can do. So, why don’t you go change into something comfortable, and when you get back down here, I will have pizza and ice cream, whatever movie you wanna watch, and a back rub ready for you, okay?”   

“Okay. Thank you, Frankie. God, you’re the best.” You grinned, pressing up on your tiptoes to let your mouth meet Frankie’s, the plush pout of his bottom lip swiping across yours, lingering just long enough to let the butterflies in your stomach begin to swirl, heat creeping through your cheeks in the tenderness of the moment.

“Of course, cariño. Te amo. Now go get changed.” With one last peck on his lips, you wiggled out of Frankie’s grasp to make your way up the stairs, grinning to see that your husband had already set out your favorite of his oversized sweatshirts and sweatpants, neatly folded on the bed for you to grab, quickly shuffling out of your uncomfortable work attire and exchanging it for Frankie’s clothes, your smile growing even wider at the feeling of perpetually being wrapped up in the essence of him. 

As you made your way back downstairs to meet Frankie, you found your heart skipping a beat again to see that the better part of the living room had been turned into a cozy sanctuary- lights dim and candles lit, both parts of your couch squished together, filled with every pillow and blanket you owned, and Frankie sitting in the middle, giant box of pizza, tub of ice cream and your handsome husband waiting for you. 

As if your emotions hadn’t already taken you on a wild roller coaster of a ride today, the adorable sight in front of you had you on the verge of tears again, wiping the wetness pooling in your eyes with the back of Frankie’s sweatshirt sleeve drooping off your arm before crawling into the blanket fort he had constructed for the two of you. 

“Frankie… You didn’t have to do this.” You sniffled, curling up next to Frankie as he draped a blanket over your lap and his arm over your shoulder, passing you a plate with 2 large pieces of pizza. 

“It’s the least I could do. I put on Hercules for us to watch, but if you wanna-” 

Before you could let him finish the rest of his sentence, you were running your hand across the scratchy stubble of his cheek, pulling his face closer to yours as you planted a kiss on his lips, feeling your smiles melt into one another's as your mouths met. “That sounds perfect. God, how’d I get so lucky?” 

“I could say the same thing, mi amor. You ready to start the movie?” 

“Only if you also pass me that tub of Ben and Jerry’s to go with my pizza.” 

“I think I can make that happen.” 

About half way through the movie, pizza and tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, your and Frankie’s bodies were tangled together in a sea of limbs and blankets, contently snuggled up with one another as Frankie’s fingers traced lazy circles on your back and shoulder as you laid against his chest. 

“You doin’ okay, querida? Need anything?” He cooed, his soft voice dancing in your ear. As if it weren’t enough that you had already been through the extreme highs and lows of almost every feeling under the sun today, the one you hadn’t been until this very moment was insatiably horny. While the mood swings you had mentally prepared yourself for with your new period symptoms, the constant other kind of ache between your legs you had not, and feeling the low rasp of Frankie’s words tickling your neck had been just enough to flip the switch to make you desperately needy. 

Letting your leg slide over Frankie’s lap, you pushed yourself up to straddle his hips, running your hands through the dark curls of his thick, brown hair, and down his broad chest, your fists bunching the worn fabric of his shirt in your hands as your mouths became a mess of tangled tongues and teeth. 

“I need- fuck- I need you, Frankie, please.” You pleaded between muffled moans, his tongue swiping in the parted space where your lips melted together as one, instinctively beginning to grind your hips into his, feeling the bulge in his sweatpants starting to grow beneath you. 

“Fuck- You sure, baby?” Frankie rasped, reactively bucking up into you, making you whine as his hands dug into your hips, guiding you as you swirled over the tented fabric of his bottom half rubbing against your covered core. 

“Please. Please, Frankie.” You were all but whimpering at this point, nodding frantically in approval as Frankie used the grasp on your hips to guide you onto your back, making you cock your head in confusion as Frankie scampered to the other side of the couch, back turned to you as he reached over the ledge, pulling out a thick, black towel with a smug grin on his face. “Did you seriously have a towel ready incase I wanted to have sex?” You snorted, shaking your head at Frankie, now crawling back to you, caging your body under his with an electric kiss as he shimmied the towel underneath you. 

“Maybe.” Frankie smirked, breaking from your kiss to let his lips trail down your body, his hands toying with the edge of his sweatshirt covering your body as he pushed it up your stomach and chest, helping you to shimmy it over your head, leaving your top half exposed. He gently palmed at your breasts, taking each pebbled nipple in his mouth, sucking and flicking at the buds with his tongue before letting his kisses travel down the soft skin of your stomach and waistband of your sweatpants. The clothes on your bottom half soon joined your sweatshirt in a crumpled pile as Frankie nestled himself between your legs, gently nudging your hips to let your thighs part, revealing your pussy, slick and shiny for him with your juices. 

Even though Frankie would eat you out for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a late night snack, you couldn’t help but feel guilty that he still found himself between your legs during your time of the month, considering any other man probably would have scoffed at just the thought of going down on you on your period. 

But, then again, Frankie Morales wasn’t just any other man. 

“Frankie, baby, you know you don’t- Oh fuck!” You gasped, cut off in surprise as Frankie’s tongue licked a long, broad strip across your cunt, making you shudder in pleasure as his head perked up, revealing the devilish grin spread between his cheeks watching your chest already heave in heavy, shaky breaths. 

“Oh I know I don’t have to, sweet girl. But I want to. Relax, baby, lemme take care of you.” 

Before you could agree, protest, or anything in between, Frankie was back between your legs, arms wrapped around your thighs as they draped over his broad shoulders, digging his fingertips into the plush softness of your skin, dragging his tongue through your folds with the exact grace and precision that he knew made you fall apart in seconds. 

With flat, firm presses of his mouth latched against your clit, you could already feel your bottom half writhing under him, the perfect pressure of his tongue dancing around your sensitive bundle of nerves making you moan in pleasure. As your head dipped back, falling into the couch pillow behind you, your hand shot down, fingers burying themselves in the wild curls of Frankie’s hair, tugging at the thick ends for any sort of release as he worked relentlessly at your aching cunt. 

“Fuck, Frankie, oh fuck- Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” You whined, your praise only intensifying the way your husband drank every ounce of you up, two thick fingers now gently pressing inside your heat, curled deliciously as they rocked in and out of your entrance, nudging against your g-spot. 

Frankie had spent enough time worshiping the altar that was your pussy to know exactly how to make you crumble beneath him, leaving you chanting his name like a prayer as his lips latched around your clit, ferociously sucking as his fingers prodded at the soft, spongy spot that made your cunt begin to clench and heat in your belly pool. 

“That’s it, Hermosa. I know you’re close, baby girl. Let me feel you, mi amor. I’ve got you.” Frankie groaned, his words humming deep in his chest, placing chaste kisses on the inside of your thighs before drinking you up like a man starved, adding a third finger into your heat, the added fullness and stretch, combined with Frankie’s relentless pace, enough to have the tingle that had been building at the base of your spine now washing through every inch of your body. Your orgasm began to crash through you, your pussy fluttering as pleasure radiated in your veins, making you cry out Frankie’s name over and over. 

Frankie worked persistently through your high, only pulling back after making sure that you had cum again, sitting back on his haunches as he admired the blissed out and ragged mess you had become, your pussy slick and swollen as your chest rose and fell in wrecked inhales and exhales, trying to compose yourself from the Frankie and fucked you senseless with just his tongue. 

Wiping the slick and juices glistening in his mustache with the back of his hand, Frankie tugged the sweatshirt covering his own body over his head, followed by his pants and boxers, freeing his painfully hard cock as it slapped against his stomach, his tip red and leaking with precum as his broad body loomed over yours, sucking and nipping at your pulse point as you whimpered his name. 

“Frankie, holy fuck.” 

“Such a good girl for me, querida. You still want me to fuck you, baby?” He mewled, the metallic and tangy taste of you still lingering on his tongue as he kissed you, laughing to himself at the way you found yourself frantically nodding your head to tell him yes before your words could. 

“Jesus Christ, yes. Fuck, please Frankie, I need to feel you.” 

Reaching down to stroke himself, he lined his cock up with your entrance, easily sliding into your heat and brushing his tip against your cervix, taking a moment to let you adjust to his fullness. The whine you let out as Frankie filled every inch of you was nothing short of ragged, digging your nails into the skin of his broad back as he ever so slowly began to thrust in and out of you, dragging his length against the slick of your cunt. 

“Oh fuck me- Fuck, you hear how wet you are for me, sweet girl? This what you needed, baby? To fill up that pretty little pussy of yours?” Frankie groaned, letting his forehead rest against yours, his sweaty curls now starting to stick to his skin as he pounded into you, rutting his hips at a faster and faster pace. 

“It’s all for you, Frankie- Oh shit- only for you.” You moaned, your fingers wrapping around the width of his biceps, flexing deliciously as he hovered over you, sucking you in to a long, deep kiss, fucking into you over and over. 

Even with the years between you and the ring on your finger, the possessive part of Frankie’s brain would never get over how the primal and all consuming feeling of knowing you were his, forever, your words shooting straight to his dick as a low groan rumbled in his chest, silently cursing to himself through gritted teeth, watching you fall apart below him. 

Readjusting himself, Frankie sat back on his heels, hooking his arm under one of your legs to drape it over his shoulder, the new angle stretching you out in a way that had you seeing stars as Frankie rammed into your g-spot and began thumbing at your clit, still swollen and sensitive from your first orgasm. You could already feel the heat beginning to bloom in your belly once again, your leg beginning to tremble hoisted over Frankie’s shoulder as he dug into the meat of your thigh with a bruising intensity. 

Just like he would never get over the fact of knowing you were his, Frankie would never get over watching you begin to crumble under his touch, taking the time to memorize every twitch and twinge your body made as you came closer and closer to your end, always savoring in the moaning mess you’d become as you fell apart around him. 

“Fuck, Frankie, Fuck, oh my god- I’m close, baby.” You were all but rambling at this point, your brain barley stringing together coherent sentences as you felt your cunt beginning to clench around his cock, the lewd noises of your moans, wetness and skin slapping together as your hips met filling the room at a borderline pornagraphic rate. 

“Meirda, I’m not gonna last much longer, hermosa. Fuck, where do you want me, baby?” Frankie growled through gritted teeth, his eyes locking on yours and telling him everything he needed to know without you saying a word. 

“Inside. Fuck, please Frankie, I want you to cum inside me.” 

Your confirmation was all it took to flip the switch in Frankie that sent him absolutely feral, the thought of being able to actually knock you up now that you weren’t on birth control anymore, giving you a baby, proving another way to the world to mark you as his? The thought alone was enough to have him bracing every bone in his body to keep him from cuming right then and there. 

“Fuck me. You want me to fill you up, querida? Fuck me full of you? Fuck a baby into you? That's what you want, huh?” Frankie moaned, grunting with each thrust of his hips, his rhythm becoming more frantic and shaky as he felt your pussy begin to flutter around him, pressing the pads of his fingers against your clit, swirling them in frantic circles to make sure you came before he did. 

“Fuck, yes. I need you too, holy fuck- wanna make you a daddy, Fransisco.” 

You could feel the tightly wound knot in your core starting to snap, your legs trembling and breath shaking as Frankie fucked into you, finding yourself on the verge of collapse- but not before Frankie’s filthy mouth got the last word in. 

“Jesus, fuck- Fuck, hermosa. That’s what you want, pretty girl? I swear, I’m gonna fuck myself so deep into you it’ll fucking take. Get you fucking pregnant tonight.” 

That was all it took to have you orgasm come crashing through you, every inch of your body radiating with pleasure as you came, crying out Frankie’s name as you gushed around him, your eyes practically rolling to the back of your head, your mind going blank and numb, the only thing grounding you were the incoherent ramblings of your husband as he followed suit behind you. 

“Fuck, that’s it, baby. Fuck, I’m gonna cum too, fuck, fuck-ahhhhhh.” With one final thrust, Frankie could feel himself spilling against your walls, coating you with his spend as his cock pulsed, making sure he milked himself of every last drop deep inside your cunt before even thinking about pulling out. Moving your leg, Frankie slumped into you, splaying himself across your body as your chests rose and fell in sync, laying in silence as you let your breathing steady, coming back down to Earth from your high. 

With a shallow grunt, Frankie carefully pulled his softening cock out of your heat, leaning back to admire the mess he had made between your legs, his cum dripping down the inside of your thighs and pussy glistening with the mixture of your arousal. You let out a soft hiss at the loss of Frankie’s fullness inside you, only to quickly be replaced by a gasp as he buried his two fingers back into your cunt.  

“Gotta make sure every last drop stays in there, hermosa. Gonna keep you full of me all night, baby.” He mewled, carefully gathering his spend and pushing it deep inside you, making you whimper as he slowly pulsed his fingers back and forth, pulling away his hand to lean back into your body, engulfing you with an electric kiss. 

“Holy fuck, fuck me. Jesus, Frankie.” You laughed to yourself, your head dipping back on the pillow as you buried your face in your hands, at a loss for words at how euphoric you now felt in your post colital bliss. 

“Wow, again, already? Gotta give me a few after that querida.” He smirked, making you roll your eyes at his joke as you playfully swatted at him, making him lean in to pepper your body with kisses, leaving you squealing and squirming in delight. 

“You are absolutely ridiculous, Fransisco Morales. If you keep fucking me like that, then yeah, absolutley.” 

“If I keep fucking you like this, I have a very hopeful feeling that next month, we’ll have something else to care about besides period cramps.”

“I swear to god, if one of my cravings ends up being buffalo chicken dip once I’m pregnant, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Taglist:

@bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog @jaciejay13 @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @lola8888673 @persephone-girl @copperhalfcent @innerpersonunknown @messinadresss @devineconjuring @endlessthxxghts @cool-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @messinadress @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @ilovepedro @pascalscoffin @missladym1981 @munson-hargrove-barnes86 @angel98624 @anoverwhelmingdin @pimosworld @nandan11 @iloveenya @survivingandenduring

[saiintvalentiine]

Summary: Wifies runs a small bakery that has some. . . interesting clientele. A snapshot of a typical day at Wifies's bakery and café.

Notes: written quickly in the span of like 5 hours while at work and mostly unedited, here is some fluff as an apology for all the psychological damage I did the other night :') please forgive any SPAG errors, I'll give it a good clean and cross post to AO3 some other time. With cameos from Ken, Parrot, Egg and Wemmbu, and Wato ! divider

Word count: 1,445

The bell over the bakery door jingles merrily, and Wifies steps out of the kitchen with a generic greeting on his tongue before he realizes it's Ken. It's been a while since he’d seen Ken. Today, Ken has a long skirt on, so Wifies can't see if the ankle monitor is still on. He has those, sometimes. Wifies usually finds out because he launches directly into complaining about it.

“Wifies!”

“Hi Ken. Why are you here at 5:30 am?”

Wifies woke up at 3 am. Bakeries are early work after all, but Ken’s schedule is a mystery to him.

“I just got out of work actually!”

Ken leans up against the big display next to the counter, dual colored eyes darting around rapidly across all the cookies and cakes. Wifies can already tell what he's going to get, so he grabs a box and starts puzzling it together.

“Ohhh, I want one of those.”

Ken taps the glass over a tray of meat pastelitos. Made of thin, crunchy layers of pastry and stuffed with minced meat, it's exactly the kind of thing Ken would enjoy. They're only sweet enough to make the savory stand out.

“Of course. How many?”

Ken taps his claws on the glass a few times and says, “Three.”

Wifies snorts and grabs a piece of parchment paper. They're easier to handle with his hands and not tongs. He piles three into the box and shuts it, returning to the counter where Ken is already dropping off some diamonds.

“Just the one,” Wifies says, handing Ken the box.

“Shut up,” Ken says, dropping the rest of the diamonds into the tip jar.

He opens the box and pulls a pastelito out. Wifies's bakery is small, shoved into a corner of the block, so there isn't really anywhere to sit. Ken has never really cared about that kind of thing though. He takes a bite out of the pastry— really he chomps through half of it— and crumbs go flying everywhere. He groans.

“So good,” Ken mutters around his mouthful.

“You're dirtying my counter,” Wifies pulls the towel he keeps in his pocket out and wipes the mess away

“No tables!”

“Shut up.”

Ken finishes his pastry and grabs a wad of napkins out of the dispenser at the far end of the counter, cleaning his face and fingers off.

“Wifies, if you leave this town, I'm killing myself,” Ken says serenely, closing the box back up. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Ken.”

Ken leaves with a skip in his step and a pleased curl to his tail. Today's forecast was rain all day, so Wifies isn't expecting much traffic; it was a pleasant surprise to see Ken at all. He has dough that needs proofing, cupcakes to ice, and bread to bake though, so he returns to the kitchen with low expectations. When the bell rings only 30 minutes later, though, he's surprised again.

“Welcome,” Wifies calls out, wiping his hands on his apron. “How can I help you?”

“Hey.”

Parrot shakes his wings out and waves at Wifies. He's got a nasty cut on his jaw and a bruise over his eyebrow.

“Oh, Parrot,” Wifies sighs, opening the gate to get around the counter and get right into Parrot's space.

“It's not that bad!”

Wifies makes sure his hands are dry before turning Parrot's face to one side and looking at the cut. It's clean, which is a good thing, but it's raw and red still.

“It's not that bad,” Parrot repeats, letting Wifies inspect him regardless. “I won!”

“At least you won,” Wifies sighs again and lets go of Parrot, returning to his spot behind the counter. “Winners still don't get discounts.”

Parrot laughs and checks out the display. He crouches and his profile twists up— he must be hurt under his clothes. Wifies isn't sure why Parrot is always getting into scraps, but he wishes that he'd be less injury prone. Parrot taps on the glass.

“A lemon bar, and a sugar cookie too.”

Wifies packs those up for him.

“Have you gotten your coffee machine fixed yet?” Parrot asks, handing over some diamonds.

“Not yet, sorry.”

“Then what kind of tea should I have with the lemon bar?”

Wifies perks up. Parrot never orders tea.

“Earl grey.”

“Then I’ll take some.”

Wifies can’t help how obvious his pleasure is. He loves tea, but it’s not a popular drink since most people just want coffee. He makes himself a cup of earl grey too, in his own mug instead of a takeout cup.

“Do you want honey?”

“Make it however you like it most.”

Wifies adds honey and a bit of cream, stirring it all up and capping it. He hands Parrot his take out cup and sips at his mug with a pleased sigh. Parrot tries his own.

“That’s really good.”

Wifies grins and says, “I know!”

Parrot leaves with a wave, and Wifies hangs out at the counter for a few minutes with his tea. The sky cracks open with rain as he finishes the last dregs in his mug, and with it comes the tumbling bodies of Egg and Wemmbu.

“Hi there you two,” Wifies says, popping into the kitchen to drop his mug off at the sink before coming back out. “Caught by the rain?”

“It’s awful out there!” Egg complains.

Wemmbu silently wrings his hair out over the welcome mat.

“Do you have any quiches?” Egg asks, bouncing on his heels.

“No more quiches!” Wemmbu complains, but Wifies ignores him as he usually does.

Egg is the one who pays, and Egg is the one who’s nice to him, so Egg gets to have as many quiches as he wants.

“I do. I have spinach cheddar, tomato basil, and artichoke parmesan.”

“Ohhhhh, Wifies, two of each please.”

“Coming right up.”

Wemmbu complains loudly as Wifies packs each quiche pair into their own little boxes. Egg doesn’t give Wemmbu the time of day when it comes to what he orders here; it’s obvious Wemmbu makes enough demands that Egg is over him. Sometimes Wifies wonders what the appeal of sticking around Wemmbu is for someone as pleasant as Egg, but he also knows that the purple jacket Egg is wearing is Wemmbu’s, so maybe he does understand.

“Thank you Wifies,” Egg says, big blue eye somehow conveying joy even in its singularity. “See you!”

“Stay safe out there.”

Wemmbu groans and they dash out into the rain. After them, the day remains misty and quiet. A few more people come in and out, but Wifies spends most of his time in the kitchen, working on some custom orders. Usually, bakeries like his close pretty early— most of his profit is made in the morning, and after 3 pm, foot traffic dies quickly. But he’s waiting for his clockwork patron to arrive before closing for the day. At 5 pm, his door bell jingles, and when he reaches the counter, Wato is already looking through the display with a critical eye.

“Hi Wato,” Wifies opens the gate and goes to the door to flip the sign from open to closed.

“Hey Wifies,” Wato’s green tail sways behind them like a metronome. “Anything new today?”

“I do!”

Wato perks up, a puff of bedrock dust floating up from their clothes at the sudden movement. Bedrock has a strange, distinct smell, in that it clears other smells out in its wake. It smells like fog, or void, or absence. Wifies shivers at the way that not-smell fills the air so familiarly, wipes away the sweetness of sugar and warmth of bread that he’s been basking in all day.

Wato sneezes.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks. What did you make?”

“Please hold.”

He’s been storing it in wait for Wato. Once it’s warmed through, he brings it to the counter, held out like a cake.

“A breakfast pot pie. It’s made with sausage, cheese, bacon, potatoes, cream, and a poached egg baked into the top of the pie crust.”

Wato’s tail starts wagging like crazy. It kicks up more bedrock dust, but nothing can take away how proud Wifies is right now. He grabs a plastic fork and hands it off to Wato. Wato wordlessly digs in. Wifies doesn’t usually like staring people down when they eat, finds it weird and invasive, but Wato wears their joy on their face, and right now they look absolutely delighted.

“Wifies, marry me,” Wato says, turning their big green eyes onto Wifies. Wifies laughs loudly. “Stop laughing, marry me now, I can’t love another day without this.”

“You won’t have to,” Wifies assures. “I’m gonna be here for a long, long time.”

[cinememed]

₍ 📻 ₎   the mountain goats lyrics  rp  starters  ! featuring violence, explicit language + subject matters & mature topics . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .

let him who thinks he knows no fear look well upon my face.

bring your heroes, watch them all get crushed.

everybody's got their limits. nobody's found mine.

some things you will remember. some things stay sweet forever.

i can see the future, it's a real dark place.

who will mop up all the blood?

there's no promise sweeter than a blood pact.

i'm as happy as i'm ever gonna be. you're by my side.

wrap this around your head. don't let anyone see that you're bleeding.

if you can't beat them, make them bleed like pigs.

and i am coming home to you with my own blood in my mouth.

every moment leads towards its own sad end.

i am coming home to you, if it's the last thing that i do.

i am this great unstable mass of blood and foam.

i think i hear angels in my ears.

some days i don't miss my family. some days i do.

lend me your hand. let me look in your eyes.

when i try to open up to you, i get completely lost.

some days i think i'd feel better if i tried harder.

i woke up afraid of my own shadow. like genuinely afraid.

keep your head low. try to leave no traces when you go.

don't even question your senses, you can be sure it's me.

it was their love you wanted, not mine.

you know and i know, everyone knows it. i'm the one.

i may have failed you once before. but this means war.

the best you've got is powerless against me.

please don't send me back to where i came from.

you're going to do what you want, no matter what i ask of you.

all your little schemes break when they come crashing up against me.

what did i come down here for? you.

i've got you. you've got whatever's left of me.

i hope you blink before i do.

i hope you die. i hope we both die 

i want to say i'm sorry for stuff i haven't done yet.

would you look at that? we're throwing off sparks.

what will i do when i don't have you to hold onto in the dark?

i don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away.

i saw the future in a dream last night. there's nothing in it.

somebody's gonna get hurt. i hope it's not me.

i couldn't help myself. i don't know what i need.

i hope the bad guys win. i hope the good guys get their skulls bashed in.

i waited here all by myself.

down there in the dark i could see the real truth about myself.

when you came in, i could breathe again.

you're the last, best thing i've got.

some things you'll do for money, and some you'll do for fun.

the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one.

it's not nice to try to kill the same thing twice.

i used to love you so much i was sure it would kill me.

i want you the way you were.

we can leave a nasty mark when we're gone.

i know you don't want me to hurt you tonight.

i don't want you to hurt me the way you do.

i am right here where you want me.

the stars would come out of hiding for you. and i would too.

i will do what you ask me to, because of how i feel about you.

you have questions only a masochist would ask.

your bright eyes are gonna kill me for sure.

nobody is innocent here. i've got more blood on my hands than you do.

you've done something awful. i've done something worse.

you can stand up, or you can run.

we both know know what you've done.

some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel.

we both know you're leaving. you just don't want to say it yet.

i've got no good reasons left not to let down my guard.

you were warm. that's all i remember.

i feel guilty, but i can't feel ashamed.

hang on to your dreams until someone beats them out of you.

when the time comes to loosen your grip, you'll know.

you found my breaking point. congratulations.

nobody gets away. even the best of us come back someday.

[passionwillow]

I need some angsty poly smut with deaconxlucaxpluszise!reader(afab) pretty please ❤️‍🔥🥰

Who am I to object?? 😩❤️ As a thick/curvy girl myself who has days I feel amazing and days I hate myself, this brought me much joy. DID NOT PROOF READ I just rolled with it.

“Do I look pretty today?”

The question was innocent enough. You stood in the bedroom studying the way the blue sundress fell over your plush thighs, running your hands over the fabric and scrutinizing the way it hugged your waist. The sunlight pouring in from the window accentuated everything you were looking at.

Usually, you were fairly confident. You usually loved your curves, the flair of your hips and your plush ass. You usually loved your thick thighs, the way they moved when you walked.

Today, you just felt- off. You felt gross, you felt nasty. You felt like all your curves were in the wrong places, like you were a huge, lumpy mess.

You didn’t hear Deacon get up from where he sat on the bed, still wrapped in a towel from his shower this morning. You just saw him appear behind you, arms winding around your middle as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck. “Pretty? Baby, you look gorgeous in that little dress. I mean- I’d maybe prefer it was shorter, but..” he trailed off and smiled at you in the mirror, lips brushing your ear as he whispered. “That’s just me.”

You leaned back into his embrace and smiled, the scent of his shampoo and body wash filling your nose as you shrugged. “I just don’t-.. See it. Not today.” He nodded in understanding and looked over his shoulder as footsteps approached, Luca entering the bedroom and smiling at the both of you. “Morning, guys. Everything alright?”

He wandered over and pressed a kiss to your cheek, large hand sliding into yours as the smell of salty water and fresh air invaded your space. You figured he’d been out surfing early this morning, it's usually where he disappeared to before you or Deacon woke up.

"Someone is feeling a little self conscious today." Deacon explained, looking back to you in the mirror and smiling as his hands moved to your waist, squeezing briefly. Luca frowned and laced his fingers with yours, squeezing and sharing a look with Deacon before leading you over to the bed. Deacon released his hold on you and followed, sitting beside Luca so you were standing in front of both men, your hands playing with the skirt of your dress as your toes curled in the plush carpet beneath you.

"Did something happen, to make you feel this way?" Luca questioned, his hands resting in his lap. You blushed at his concerned eyes, the way his brows furrowed in worry. Luca was always the most sensitive when it came to your feelings, taking it to heart whenever you were upset. Deacon was the type to roll with your feelings, offering a solid support and being a rock to lean against whenever you needed it. A perfect balance, in your opinion.

"No, no, nothing happened, I just.. I'm just having a bad day, y'know? I don't feel all that great about myself today, I feel a little.. Gross." You trailed off awkwardly and looking down at your nails, suddenly very interested in the chipped polish on your fingers. Luca frowned more and looked at Deacon who was perched on the edge of the bed, head cocked as he studied you. "Well, that just won't do to have you feeling that way." He said in that soft, husky voice that made you squirm.

Luca was quick to pick up his tone and smiled, looking at you and rooting you to the spot with that piercing blue eyes. “I agree, I don’t think we can have that today.” He echoed, and before you knew it Luca had stood and scooped you up, gently tossing you into the cream duvet and grinning at your squeak of surprise.

“I think we’ll just have to take the morning and show her how gorgeous we find her.. What do you think?” Deacon asked, crawling up beside you and lying on his side, hand already finding its way under your dress. “I think that sounds like a plan.” Luca purred, crawling up and sitting up on his knees, removing his hoodie and white muscle shirt in one go, letting the clothes fall to the floor as his eyes roamed over you, as if deciding which part to dig into first.

You loved being at their mercy. Laid out on the bed, resting against pillows and letting them have their way with you. Deacon and Luca loved having a pillow princess, and you loved playing the part.

Deacon’s touch was feather-light as his calloused fingers roamed up your thigh, playfully snapping the band of your panties and letting out a soft tsk. “I think these will have to go, hm?” He rasped in your ear, warm breath raising goosebumps over your skin. You bit your lip and nodded quickly; the wetness pooling between your legs had certainly already soaked them.

Luca slid his hands under the skirt and eagerly tugged them off, eyeing the baby blue fabric and the wet spot that gave you away. He smirked and tossed them to the floor, shaking his head as he moved between your legs. “We’ve barely touched you, and look. You’re soaked.” His voice was soft and teasing, a contrast to Deacon’s hungry brown eyes that were currently drinking up the sight of your cleavage.

“She’s just excited, aren’t you?” Deacon teased, gripping your inner thigh and pulling gently, guiding you to spread your legs for Luca. You obeyed without question, biting your lip as the cool air brushed your sensitive folds. You were aching for friction, anything to give you a release.

Luca pushed your skirt up around your waist and settled himself between your legs, eyeing the mess between your legs and chuckling. “Excited might be an understatement.. Christ, baby.” He kissed the soft flesh of your inner thighs and nipped every so often, making you squirm and whine for his mouth to move, move closer.

Deacon chuckled and kissed your throat, tugging your dress down to reveal your tits and cupping one in his large hand, fingers quick and nimble as he teased the peaked buds on your chest. “So needy, so wet, huh? But you look so goddamn beautiful when you want a cock in you.” He growled in your ear, each pinch and tug at your nipples making you whine and moan, sending shocks of pleasure right to your core. The sheets had to be soaked beneath you at all the teasing.

Luca's tongue finally, finally dipped between your folds, his hungry sounds making you blush as he lapped and suckled and drank up your juices like they were a delicacy. You moaned in relief and rolled your hips as he feasted on you, tongue rolling over your clit and making you curse. "Oh, fuck, Luca, right there-" you gasped out, eyes closed and head rolled back on the pillows. Deacon watched with dark eyes, smirking at the needy noises coming from your mouth as his hands continued to roam over your chest.

"You look so gorgeous right now, baby, look at you.." he rasped, kissing your cheek and letting his nose glide across your skin. "So needy for someone's mouth on your pretty little pussy, huh?" It never failed to turn you on how Deacon spoke. Sweet and soft words one moment, then the filthiest dirty talk the next. He knew you loved it.

Luca's mouth was making the most lewd noises from between your legs, lips sucking on your sensitive bud and pulling off before diving back in, tongue dipping inside you to draw more moans and cries from your lips. You were sweating at this point, panting and whimpering as he assaulted your sensitive folds. Deacon finally released his hold on your plush tits and moved his hand back to your thigh, kneading and giving the flesh a soft smack.

"Let her cum, Luca, I think she deserves it." He teased, and you whimpered pathetically, toes curling as Luca gave all his attention to your sensitive clit. The knot in your stomach was tightening, tightening, and you knew you were moments away from exploding.

Deacon read it on your face and moved his hand up your body, fingers wrapping around your throat in a gentle but firm hold, lips by your ear as he purred low and soft. "Cum for us, pretty baby. We got you, just let go. Let me hear those pretty little sounds."

Luca's tongue, the vice grip he had on your hips. Deacon's hand and voice holding you steady.. You came with a sobbing moan, back arching and toes curling in the sheet, fingers holding on for dear lift to the fabric beneath you. "Fuckfuckfuck! Yes!"

Deacon smiled and bit his lip as he watched you, his cock pressed to your side as he watched you unravel. Luca's tongue didn't stop until he'd lapped up all the juices you released, humming at the taste and pressing a little kiss to your clit before sitting up, chin wet and eyes shining. "You taste like heaven, baby girl."

You panted and tried to find your bearings, eyes closed and lips parted as Deacon gently pulled away from you, replacing Luca between your legs. You finally opened your eyes when you felt the bed shifting, and Luca gently guided you to sit up, taking a seat behind you so you could lay back against his chest between his legs.

You slumped into him with a hum, his strong arms holding you snug as Deacon removed his towel, tossing it with the growing pile of clothes. "Let's get that dress off, yeah?" Luca smiled and grabbed the bunched fabric, guiding it up your body and over your head, letting it drop to the floor.

Both men eyed your naked form with equal hunger and admiration. Luca ran his hand over your soft tummy and side, placing kisses along your shoulder and mumbling. "You are absolutely beautiful." he mumbled into your ear. Deacon hummed in agreement and ran his hands over your plush thighs, kneading the flesh and eyeing your body. "Like a fucking goddess."

You blushed at their words and squirmed, cheeks hot as you eyed Deacon and licked your lips. "I think I may need more convincing.." you teased, and both men laughed. "Happy to convince you all morning." Deacon purred, and grabbed your hips, pulling you down the bed to him in one smooth motion.

Deacon loved to surprise you with his strength at random times. He knew you were self conscious sometimes about him and Luca being able to pick you up, move you around, and he loved proving you wrong. He could man handle you for hours (and had, on multiple occasions, to your immense pleasure).

You gasped and laughed as you shifted on the bed, Luca moving to sit back on his heels, your head in his lap. "You've been such a good girl for us, yeah?" He looked down at you and grinned, brushing your hair back before moving his hands to your chest, Deacon letting his cock brush your soaked folds and nestled between them. "She certainly has." he murmured. You arched up into his hands and bit your lip, eyes still on his as you gasped at the thick head nudging your entrance.

Luca held your gaze as Deacon slid into you, your juices giving him all the lube he needed to sheath himself inside you. Your eyes rolled back in bliss at the fullness, the burning stretch.. You groaned shakily and clenched around him, Luca giving your nipples a harsh tug as he praised you. "Look at you, beautiful, taking that cock.. Such a good girl."

Deacon smirked and lifted on your legs, letting it rest on his shoulder as he wasted no time fucking you in. You cried out in surprise and reached up to Luca, holding one of his hands over your breasts and cursing as Deacon's cock kissed your cervix. "Fuckfuck- Fuck, baby, that's it.." Luca held you steady as the younger man pounded into you, his own grunts and groans mixing with yours.

"Beautiful baby.. So fucking beautiful." Deacon groaned out, his voice gruff and raspy as he watched you. Your head limp on Luca's stomach, back arching as you tried to fit him even deeper. Deacon was an expert at reading your body language, what you needed in the moment. He grabbed your hips and fucked into you rougher, smirking at the choked moans and cries you made.

"That what you wanted, baby? This pretty pussy is so hungry huh?" His voice wavered slightly, breathing growing hard as his own pleasure coarsed through him.

Luca watched you with dark eyes, sliding a hand over your tummy and pushing down, his own erection pressed against you. "Fuck, baby, you're taking him so deep. Can feel it in your cute little tummy."

You moaned clung to his arm as Deacon fucked you senseless, panting and whining as your walls fluttered around him, toes curling. "I'm gonna-.. Baby, I'm so close.." You pleaded, body shaking with the overwhelming pleasure you were wrapped in.

Deacon hummed and kept his harsh pace, cheeks flushed and chest moving rapidly as he panted. "Pretty baby wants to cum, huh? Do it. Cum for us, princess, let us see you fall apart."

His firm words went straight to your core. He knew you liked being told what to do, and he took advantage of it. Your walls clenched around him and your second orgasm rushed into you like a train. You cried out their names, both of these wonderful men who loved you, and Luca held you snug, sweet talking you through your high as Deacon fucked you through it, hips driving into you like a piston until his own orgasm hits

He came with the most delicious groan, grinding his cock into your soaked cunt until you were filled with him. He panted and leaned down over you, holding himself up with one arm as he caught his breath, eyes on your face as you trembled from the mind blowing ride. “Fuck, princess, I love you.” He whispered, and you forced your eyes open to look at him, cracking a grin and mumbling. “I love you too.. And you. I love you, Luca.”

Both men grinned at you, and Deacon gently slid out of you before laying down, Luca shifting to lay on your other side as your legs got feeling back into them. Both men showered you in kisses, Deacon nosing your cheek as Luca kissed your shoulder.

“I hope you realize we aren’t done yet.” Luca purred, hips rolling into your thigh as you let out a groan, your pussy already fluttering at the thought. Deacon grinned at your reaction, hand sliding to your thigh. “We promised all morning, didn’t we?”

You made a mental note to be self conscious just a little more often as you gave yourself over to them.

[illyrianbrat]

Don't Need Your Help (Cody Rhodes imagine)

Pairing: Cody Rhodes x female!reader

Prompts used:

Injury prompts: 18. "You saved me...? And bandaged me up? Am I dreaming?" || "Yeah, well, I wasn't going to let you die just like that..

Angry prompts: 2. "did I say I needed your help!?"

Excitement coursed through Cody's veins as he sat backstage and watched his colleagues throw each other around the ring. But as he watched, he couldn't help but feel a burning desire to get in on the action himself.

Before he knew it, Cody had leaped into the ring and was fighting with Seth. Both of them were giving it their all but he soon found himself being thrown around like a ragdoll.

Y/N, who had been watching from ringside, gasped as she saw Cody take a particularly nasty fall and cut his head. She rushed over to him, her heart pounding in her chest. 

"Cody, are you okay?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

Cody groaned and tried to sit up, but the pain was too much. "I'm fine," he muttered, gritting his teeth.

Y/N could see that he was anything but fine, and she knew that he needed medical attention. "Cody, you need to let me help you. We need to call off the match," she said firmly.

But Cody shook his head stubbornly. "Did I say I needed your help!?" he hissed. "I can take care of myself."

Y/N sighed, knowing that Cody was fiercely independent and didn't like to rely on others. But she also knew that he needed medical attention as soon as possible. "Cody, I think you need to go to the hospital.” She suddenly let out a yelp as she saw his eyes roll back. The referee quickly understood, signaling for the bell to ring. The crowd was screaming but Y/N didn’t pay attention. Seth was worried as well, but he knew he couldn’t just go and check up on Cody. 

Y/N knew that Cody needed help, but the paramedics had not arrived yet. She quickly got in the ring and removed her jacket, using it to press against Cody's wound as best she could. She tried to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to cause him any more pain.

As she held it firmly, she couldn't help but worry. She had never seen him hurt like this before, and she didn't know how he would react when he woke up. But she knew that she had to do everything she could to help him.

Finally, the paramedics arrived, and Cody was rushed to the hospital. Y/N stayed by his side throughout the night, too anxious to leave him by himself.

When Cody finally woke up, he was groggy and disoriented. He looked around, confused, and then remembered what had happened. He saw Y/N sitting next to him and smiled weakly.

"You saved me...? And bandaged me up? Am I dreaming?"

"Yeah, well, I wasn't going to let you die just like that,” she whispered to him, softly caressing his cheek.

"Thanks for taking care of me," he said, his voice hoarse.

Y/N smiled back at him, relieved that he was okay. "Of course," she said. "I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

Cody nodded and then fell back asleep, exhausted from his ordeal. Y/N stayed by his side, watching over him and making sure he was comfortable. She knew that Cody was going to need someone helping him because he was always a little reckless but she was determined to be there for him.

[possessesnightshift]

i'm not an eloquent political speech person so im just gonna be direct about this

americans, please please fucking register to vote and vote for joe biden in november

and before you jump to whatever policy thing or weakness of his to counter this plea, just stop. it doesn't actually matter. trump is worse. trump is fucking so much worse

our job from here on out is not only to hold our noses and vote for biden, but also to convince all of our friends family and whoever else to also vote for him in spite of all of his flaws. yes all of them

we need to make the fucking argument that trump is so dangerous, the country would be better off with a drooling old genocide lover whose mental faculties are drying up faster than the sahara desert. we need biden voters to be keenly aware of his shortcomings and refuse to back down. there's no use in pretending biden is still sharp as ever or has this mass grassroots support (he does not). he sucks. he is probably the worst democratic candidate in the party's history.

don't care. trump is worse. he needs to be stopped from taking power by any means necessary. he needs to be STOPPED.

from a non-republican pov, democrats constantly leaning on the "but the other guy is worse" argument is frustrating as all hell. i certainly hate it myself. but what gets lost in the conversation is that the republicans are essentially so beholden to this principle nobody even notices.

i know plenty of small town midwestern republicans who were embarrassed to admit they voted for trump. they voted for him in spite of his nastiness and blatant buffoonery (not in spite of his racism bc they're likely ok with that) because he was on the republican ticket, and to them any republican is better than a woke liberal who wants to take away our gas stoves and force drag queens to read us stories at bedtime

so yeah i kinda don't fucking care at this point

biden is a laughably bad candidate for the election of 2024. any other time he could've run (including 2020) is completely different than now, when he's just too fucking old. so should we just roll over and let him lose? just for trump to finish his term, be biden's current age, and either run for a third term or just stay in power bc the supreme court is on his side and they've been preparing for this for decades? fuck that

actually i think a rotting, pulpy corpse would make a fine president compared to dumbass donald "reality gameshow host" trump. literally if biden dies the day of the election he's still got my vote because it is not for him

the left has to learn to have the tenacity that republicans have. we emulate the right in the worst fucking ways (e.g. closing the southern border for no reason) but we never emulate their pettiness. we never say 'i hate the republicans so much i will willingly vote for someone i kinda hate to spite their smug asses'

remember when trump used to be a joke? remember when he was a giant embarrassment? remember the memes about his illiteracy and his lack of awareness? (see 'covfefe' for more info) trump may have the means to become a brutal dictator, but he relies on people smarter than he is to pull it off

if trump continues to hype up his project 2025 and his fascist ambitions with the swagger and confidence of fdr running against herbert hoover, what does it signal to the rest of the world for that man to LOSE to a corpse with the stamina of a wet flounder? it could stop the fascist momentum in its tracks by associating it with weakness and incompetence (you talk up all this hype and you lose to THAT man?? i guess you must be full of shit huh)

these are fraught times. there's no way to get out of this without letting go of our ideals of a perfect candidate who responds to the political desires of the people. that candidate does not exist and never will

right now we have not just an opportunity to preserve our rotting democracy for a little longer, but something much more special. we can fucking put an end to the trump experiment once and for all. we can make trump wannabes like ron desantis scramble to dissociate their image from the toxicity of the trump administration. we can turn him back into a joke.

at this point im screaming into the wind. no person who isn't already voting for biden is gonna read this far. but i want these words to be here anyway because i think they have value. 2024, 2028, and 2032 are all going to be pivotal election years. we can't wait around. we have to act NOW.

vote rotting fish 2024. i will plug your nose with a clothes pin if you refuse to do so yourself...

[rmoonstoner]

Opalescent Dreamer

***

Warnings:

18+ smut, P in V sex, cream pie, scratching, angst, fluff, mentions of decay and rot, death, danger, more confusing Multiversal shit, sorry.

***

Summary:

Holy shit, it's chapter two! Reader escapes with Rehydrated Khonshu and the boys. Smut in the chapter.

***

Chapter 2 - Leap Of Faith

**

Jake spent the night with you, with you curled against his frame. Nothing sexual happened. You had a mental breakdown, and he refused to go back to his own room. That ended up in him holding you and rubbing your back while you cried. He tried to whisper to you that everything would be alright, but you both knew it wasn't so. You ended up in his lap, clinging to him until you passed out on top of him.

Sometime near the crack of dawn, he stirred under you, and you woke up to the sounds of a soft voice mumbling about how warm and comfortable you were. At first you didn't think anything of it, that is until you heard a surprised gasp, and the man jerked about while trying to get out from under you. Your natural response was to tug on him, dragging him closer.

"What the bloody hell..?" Steven's voice mumbled softly, both of his hands shot up and out stretched away from you, like he had been caught doing something terrible.

"Steven..?" You yawned his name, and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck and his bare chest, forgetting that Steven probably had no idea how he had gotten into your bed. You knew Jake must have carried you there and gone to sleep with you afterwards.

Apparently that was the wrong thing to do, because now Steven was overly flustered, and from your position of being directly on top of him, you could feel it. He was only in his sweatpants and he was baffled as to how he got there in the first place.

"What am I doing here, love? How did I get here?" Steven asked while he gently placed his hands on your back.

"I had a meltdown last night." Was all that you could say. You kept your face hidden against his neck, feeling his pulse quicken.

"Oh… Are you alright?" He gently asked, and you nodded and sighed. You bet anything he wanted you to let him go, so you tried to move, but surprisingly, he wouldn't let you get up. Steven swallowed thickly, followed by clearing his throat.

"Did… Did we do anything last night? Did Marc get drunk again?" He asked with an extreme amount of caution. He figured Marc had finally had enough of dancing around you, pretending that he didn't like you.

"No." You replied shyly. Steven blinked and thought about it for a second. He would have asked Marc, but his alter was still deeply asleep in the headspace.

"Then why am I shirtless?"

"Uh, because I was outside, smoking weed to try and calm my nerves. It did not work, and I sent myself into a panic attack. You came outside like this, no shoes on, and saw me, then just didn't go back to your room." You meekly replied.

"Fuck. Must have been Marc. I checked out two days ago after a fight with him. But why does my mouth feel like I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes?" He mumbled as he smacked his lips while trying to get rid of the nasty taste in his mouth.

"You had a fight?" You sidestepped his question. Jake had smoked a whole pack of cigarettes last night, minus the three you took from him.

"Erm… Yeah… Well, I suppose I should tell you, but I feel like it might make things worse for you…" Steven murmured and took a deep breath.

"I'm sure nothing you have to say can possibly be worse than why I was losing my shit. I don't mean that rudely, by the way." You said with a huff. Steven hummed, his hands twitching where they sat on your back

"Right. I can't assume what I have to say will bother you or not, but I really do think you ought to know…" Steven carried on, his hands slowly running up and down your sides.

"If it's about the bird man that's constantly watching you, I know. He's a bit of an asshole, but he's alright." You giggled, knowing if he was there, he would have made a comment about calling him an asshole.

"You know about him?" Steven asked, his voice sounding even more surprised.

"Yes. I can see him. He looks much nicer recently. Less… Dead."

"Wow. Well, uh, okay. Um… Well that is only a smidgen of what I wanted to tell you-"

"And the world is ending." You cut him off bluntly, and Steven huffed.

"Ah. Well. Suppose the pigeon already told you, I guess." He chuckled a bit as you shifted on top of him to look into his eyes. He grunted at how you sat on his lap.

"Yeah, well…" You shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh… And one more thing." Steven licked his lips, then closed his eyes. He seemed to be trying to prepare his next words carefully.

"Yeah?"

"Marc and I are pretty sure there's another guy in our body."

"Oh?" You quirked a brow, trying your best to look neutral.

"Yeah. Found his phone."

Oh shit. Did they open it? Had they read all the texts between you and Jake? Did they see all the photos he had taken of you and him when you smoked weed or hung out? Jake would have had a lock code, right?

"Yeah. It was locked, but the photo on the lock screen… It was of you in that cab out front…"

"Oh." You replied softly, and then a heavy silence permeated through the room.

"You knew. You knew and didn't say anything." His voice was softer, more gentle than upset, like he should have been.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No, no. It's alright. We've known about him for a while. Marc was very adamant he didn't get drunk when you said he did. There's other signs, but we chose to ignore them." He paused and started to draw circles on your back. He seemed quite comfortable to be there after hearing that you knew about the third alter.

"Plus, I've been finding money missing from our banks, and neither of us can account for it. Not that it matters any more. We blacked out so much the last year, and we figured it was that guy that was coming out more. The only common denominator, is you. Hell, Khonshu demanded we come out here, and then we lose a lot of time, then you show up. Plus, you had our jacket in your cab…" Steven trailed off as he spoke about Jake. Thank God they had an idea, so this wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"Also, speaking of which, that cab is so familiar. It's the exact same one that used to be parked outside of our house all the time. Back in England. So, unless you used to live there, which you have already stated that you never have… Well… I assume that's his cab. Even had the same pair of gloves, pack of smokes, and hat inside the front seat. Oh, and that Chiquita Banana hula figure on the dash." He finished his list of reasons as to how they knew about the third alter, and you relaxed even more. You gave him a shrug, and an apologetic look.

"Ya got me. Yeah. It's not my cab."

"What's his name?"

"Jake. Jake Lockley."

And then you explained to Steven who his alter was, what his job was, and that Jake also talked to Khonshu. You told Steven that Jake begged Khonshu not to tell him or Marc about him, and because of that, Jake had also asked you not to, unless they found out on their own. Steven sighed, but he understood.

"Marc is going to be pissed at the pigeon. He will be annoyed with you, but he won't be mad. Like, really. It explains a lot."

And so Marc had come out some time later. He wasn't pleased that you didn't tell him, but he wasn't mad at you either. He was actually more concerned about the world ending. He had to go out and see his father, wishing to see him one last time, before this universe was gone.

While he was gone for only a day, he came back a changed man. He seemed particularly off, and he was lost in his reflection a lot more. It only took him another two days to recover, but whatever had him in a rut, it also did the same to Steven and Jake. They informed you that their God couldn't do anything more to save this world.

Even Khonshu was different, which was a surprise, since he had just recently changed as well. He seemed a lot nicer than before, and he was less snappy with almost no snide commentaries. You figured it was because you didn't have much time left here, and that they were trying to be nice to you, but you didn't know how wrong you would be.

***

Finally the day came when Khonshu would be jumping ship and taking his Avatar with him. You fully prepared yourself to be let down, for him to say he couldn't bring you with them. You spent a whole night in Jake's arms, telling him all about your dreams of the other versions of himself. He listened quietly, and in the morning, he was gone. His jacket was still there, but maybe he left it behind to comfort you until your death.

You sighed, believing that he must have left with Khonshu already, as nothing else of theirs was there. Marc and Steven's jacket was gone, as were Jake's gloves and hat. Even their duffle bag was gone. You paced the hotel, waiting around for two hours, before finally giving up to go to the Sanctum with Jake's jacket wrapped around your cold feeling frame.

The skies were blue, with splotches of dark inky voids. People were trying to hide in buildings, running from the tears in reality if they could. If they couldn't, they quickly perished in agony once touched by the void, leaving a half rotting corpse in its wake. You seemed to be safe from the black spots, with them moving away from you as you went. You didn't really question why that was happening, and instead, were slightly relieved.

Once at the Sanctum, you went through the building, grabbing whatever things you thought could be useful to keep yourself alive for longer. Some gold and silver pieces, because why not? Perhaps you could use them as magically infused projectiles, and maybe, if you found a way to leave this place, the gold could be helpful to start a new life. You found a few scrolls, and tucked them away into the jacket that Jake had left you. As you rifled through a few books, tossing any that didn't help to the floor, you heard rustling behind you.

You froze, and slowly turned just in time to see a flash of red duck behind a bookshelf. You squinted into the reflection of a mirror that showed a singed red cloak, hunched over and shaking like a person. You knew what it was, and you knew it was probably scared. Too scared to recognize you.

"Oh, hello there… You can come out. I won't hurt you." You cooed to the object as it poked its collar around the corner, as if it were looking at you. You could see holes burned into its fabric, frayed edges, and rips along the seams. The way it moved was like a wounded animal.

"Oh, you used to belong to the good Dr. Strange, didn't you? I promise I won't hurt you. Do you remember me?" You said as you crouched low to the ground with your hand out. The cloak slowly made its way towards you like a scared cat, and eventually it was close enough to touch, but you remained still.

"Are you hurt? I can heal you, if you like?" You murmured softly, the cape moving under your hand exactly like a cat starved for attention. You smiled and silently flicked your fingers, swirling them about as you cast a spell to fix the damage on it. The moment it was healed, the cloak trotted around like a horse, then wrapped itself around your neck to rest on your shoulders, giving you a warm hug with its form. You smiled and caressed it, whispering that everything would be okay for now.

The cloak wrapped a corner of itself around your wrist, and slowly slipped the ring it had stolen from its old master onto your fingers. Now you had two Sling rings, but what good would that do? This new one was different, more intricate and detailed.

"Sorry to tell you, but the world is ending. Your mad doctor is the cause of it, but you probably already knew that…" You sighed as you picked up an hourglass and stared at it.

"I've heard about this. It would be useful, if the world wasn't ending…" You sighed, going to put it back down.

The cape flew off your shoulders and darted out of the room. It came back with a bag, and nudged it into your hands along with a book that it opened to a certain page. The page showed the exact bag you had, claiming it was an endless capacity bag that created an extra-dimensional space inside to hold a lot of things. You decided it might be useful, and you waved your hand over the way too long name, replacing it with 'Bag of Holding' instead. You tossed all manner of things into it with the help of the cloak. The cloak had shoved all sorts of books into it, while you wrapped a gold cloth around the lantern and put it inside.

Again the cloak vanished off into another room, then quickly came back, tugging on your wrist to follow it. You did, and the smells of the place began to get much worse. It started to smell like rotting flesh, and when you walked into a large room, there on the floor, was the decaying body of Wong. You gasped, covering your nose and mouth with one hand as you approached his lifeless body. Half of it was being slowly disintegrated by the black void at the legs, maggots flying away like flies into the darkness.

The cloak snatched something shiny and gold from Wong's stiff hands, and it brought the thing to you, before it went back to your shoulders. It appeared to be some sort of wand, and you thought it was ungodly tacky and hideous, but you tossed it into the bag, because the cloak made it seem like it was important. You searched and secured the entire place, not finding much else that was noteworthy. It appeared like the place had been ransacked a few times. You decided to make your way out, when the ground started to shake. You looked up, seeing the ceiling was crumbling above you.

"Fuck." Was all you could manage, before you were rushed out of the way of some falling concrete and pipes, and out a broken window. That left you hovering outside of the Sanctum as it crumbled into dust and was slowly overcome with more inky black ichor spots.

"Thanks, buddy. You're pretty cool for saving my life. I mean, you were pretty cool before, so like, you're now extra super duper cool. Oh god, I sounded so lame just now." You huffed and patted the cloak. The sentient thing seemed quite happy with the compliment, as it hugged you tightly, before it lowered you to the ground.

"Ah, there you are, little sorceress. We thought we had lost you." A deep silky voice hit your ears. The cloak whipped you around to face the source of the voice, and you nearly cried when you saw it was Khonshu.

"I thought you guys left already!"

"No. I wouldn't leave you behind after you gave me my most precious possession back, not when I have the power to carry you over with my Avatar. The old me would have left in a heartbeat, but my knights would be most displeased if I left you behind." Khonshu murmured as you went up to him, hugging his much larger body. He patted your back, noticing the new addition to your wardrobe.

"Is this the Cloak of Levitation?" He asked, his voice sounding quite impressed.

"Yeah. It was hiding in the Sanctum. Poor thing was hurt, but I healed it." You explained. Khoshu hummed in approval.

"But why is it white and gold? Isn't it supposed to be red and gold?" He asked as he ran one of his fingers down the edge of the cloak.

"It what?" You held up a bit of the cloak and stared at it. It had indeed changed colors. The deep red fabric was now an iridescent white, and the gold border had changed designs. You stared at the glimmering symbols that resembled ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics with the phases of the moon along the borders. The inside of the cloak looked like the night sky and you smiled as you stroked the cape.

"Thank you. I love what you've done with your hair." You giggled and the cloak vibrated like it was laughing. Even the old bird chuckled at the joke, before clearing his throat.

"Come. We must go now. My knights are waiting for you."

Khonshu flew with you through the skies back to the shitty hotel where you had been staying. The journey was amazing, only something you had done in your dreams.

Half of the hotel was in tatters, and Jake was pacing back and forth in his suit, muttering words of worry in Spanish as he power smoked a cigarette. The moment he laid eyes on you, he threw his smoke away and started running towards you. Your feet barely touched the ground when Jake grabbed you in a tight hug.

"Fuck, querida. I was so worried about you. I thought that you were dead. I left to grab some food and water for the jump, and when I came back, you were gone." Jake frantically said as he dipped his face into your neck and inhaled. The cape smacked him and he blinked, staring at the thing like it had just burned him.

"Now, now. Be nice to Jake. It's his master that might be able to get us out of here…" You paused for a moment, then looked up at Khonshu.

"Can this cloak come with us?"

"I don't see why not, as technically it's an object, and not a living thing, despite being sentient."

"Aw, do you hear that, boy? You can come with us!" You cheered and the cloak seemed quite thrilled as it forcibly made you hug Khonshu.

"Okay. Enough." Khonshu tried to push you back lightly, trying very hard not to anger his Avatar.

"We must go now, while the dark sorcerer is sleeping. Let him continue his destructive path. He'll only destroy himself in the process, and we need to leave, now, before he decides that he requires more power and comes after us." Khonshu calmly explained as he twirled his staff a few times in both directions.

He muttered a few things in a different and very old dialect, then a portal was torn into another universe. The edges of the portal were covered in sparks and it sizzled loudly as they spun around like the rings around a planet.

"Hurry, get through. It's night time there, and a full moon." Khonshu quickly said as he motioned for you both to go through. You grabbed Jake's hand tightly, and he pulled you to his chest as he went through the portal, with Khonshu slipping in behind you. Just as you did, the ground where you once were began fading away into nothingness. The God promptly shut the portal, and he turned to survey his surroundings.

"Good. We best get out of this city. This world's Doctor Strange has probably sensed a time and space dilation, and the farther we are from the Sanctum, the better." Khonshu muttered with a slight fatigue to his voice. He was clutching his staff like he was struggling to stand.

"Okay. I'll see if my ring works. I don't think it would, since the world it came from is gone…"

"Well, love, that cloak is still there, and it still moves by itself." Suddenly it was Steven, and just hearing his voice made you feel a lot better. You wondered if your own magic worked, but you'd have to see after getting away from here.

"Well, Steven, it might not work. My Wong gave me a grade E ring, because they were low at the time. Lower quality and ranking items are less likely to work when passing through to a new universe. My Cloak of Levitation is a top tier magical item, or so I was told." You explained, and Steven tapped his chin.

"That seems reasonable. Our Khonshu is drained, though. He's just tired and exhausted after stepping out with two mortals from a dying universe. Pretty sure my suit is okay." Steven said, and he summoned his suit to check. He was in luck, and his suit flicked over his body, albeit a bit slower than normal.

"Yes… Unfortunately that's true, but at least it is a full moon here. Your magic should work, but it'll be weak until you start pulling power from this world." Khonshu muttered as he ran a hand over his eyes, rubbing the tired feeling muscles and skin there that he wasn't used to having.

***

Not too far away from where you had come through to this new universe, this world's Doctor Stephen Strange was asleep in his bed at the Sanctum. He was in a deep sleep, having an intense dream, one that was disturbing and very real. Too real to just be the brain shuffling and putting away memories.

He was having another dream about himself, one where it was him, but not him. Another life, he deduced. This man had it worse off than himself. Instead of his hands being injured, his beloved Christine had taken their place. Every night, more dreams of this man's journey occurred, all the way up until now. Now the man was overtaken with a savage drive to bring his lost love back from the dead, the rest of the whole universe be damned.

His other self was thin and gaunt. He had pale and slightly translucent skin, revealing the veins and arteries underneath. He had heavy set bags under his dark black eyes, and his hair was greasy from the strain of many weeks of hard work. His whole body was taking a beating, because of weeks of exceptional magic use. The man that resembled him, was wearing slightly different robes, and his cloak was more sinister looking. He had heard about how the Cloak of Levitation could change in appearance to suit its wielder. His own had slightly changed over the years to match his style and increase of power and status. Maybe that one was tainted with the evil and dark magic his double was exuding.

Nothing interesting was really happening. This other Strange was now pulling another couple of demons from the circle in the floor, because his last few attempts at going back in time had failed. Then, suddenly, without warning, the other one had turned to look away, right into a mirror that had the face of a woman in it. He threatened the woman, and she looked terrified as she vanished from it.

Then just as quickly as the dream started, Stephen was launched into another one.

He saw the woman again, but he felt like he was stuck to the ceiling, watching as she woke up, frantically looking around while heavily breathing. She seemed distraught that no one else was there, and then she flew from bed to look around the small room. Stephen deduced it was a shitty little hotel room, based solely on the way the interior appeared.

The woman got dressed, but she did it nearly the same way that he would, using magic to materialize the clothing onto the body. She grabbed a small bag and slung it over her body then grabbed a man's jacket off the chair. She stared at it for a long while, tears welling up in her eyes as she hugged the garment and sniffled. Stephen felt the intense wave of emotion as it rippled through him, causing him to feel exactly what she felt Soon after, she was throwing the coat on and going outside, a joint in her mouth as she snapped her fingers to light it.

Then the scene got even more morbid.

The skies were a mixture of blue and black. The black steaks looked like a massive being had sliced the sky with black, poison-dipped claws. Buildings were falling apart, there were not many people in sight, and there were black holes and dark voids everywhere. In the corner of this vision, dead bodies littered the streets in advanced stages of decay, all with the same inky, black ichor eating away the corpses.

Stephen was almost sick, because he could smell everything.

The woman paced back and forth for a while, power smoking both weed and the pack of cigarettes she found in the inner pocket of the jacket. Stephen saw a glinting of brass on her hand, and he gasped when he saw a Sling ring, albeit a very old and obviously low ranking one at that.

She paced and paced, until finally she gave up and left the hotel. He could tell she was making her way to the Sanctum by the area she was in. Once she made it to the Sanctum, it was already damaged, some of the walls crumbling, windows broken, and the doors destroyed. The large window in the front of the building was shattered, and by all rights, the place appeared to be a death trap.

He watched her investigate the place, then run into a cloak that looked nearly identical to his own. It even moved and had the same mannerisms as it cautiously approached her. He heard her whisper, reassuring the cloak she wouldn't harm it…

Then she healed it.

Her magic was white, and not the customary fiery orange that his and his fellow sorcerers had. That was odd, but it told him she wasn't from his dimension at all, and that this place was clearly a dying universe that his other self was destroying. Stephen felt even more sick to know there was a version of himself that was mad with grief. So mad, he had discarded any care for the world around him, abandoning all regard for it all together.

Then he witnessed the cloak hand her a bag that he himself owned in this world, the Bag of Infinite Capacity, and a book that described it. Ah, forever helpful that thing was, no matter what universe it came from…

Then the scene switched to the dead body of Wong, with her horrified expression, the cloak handing her the Wand of Watoomb from Wong's cold dead hands. Again Stephen felt himself fill with grief and sorrow at seeing his best friend's dead body and his lifeless and glassy eyed expression.

He managed to compose himself enough to see her make a disgusted face at the design of the wand, and Stephen couldn't help but laugh. It was an ugly old thing, and it was large, heavy, and awkward. She picked up various books and things that might be useful to her, and that's when Stephen realized she was preparing herself to either die, or leave that dimension.

He watched her look around more, not finding much more to help her, when the roof caved in. The cloak had averted the danger by whisking her away and out of the building, only to run into a large magical being. He gasped, seeing that it was the Egyptian God of the moon, watching as the woman threw herself into his arms. The moment she did, her cloak began to lighten up completely, until the fabric was a shimmery white and gold.

The scene changed yet again, to her and the God flying through the sky, avoiding the tears in reality that were actually moving out of their way as they touched down back at her hotel. There a man was, dressed in dark clothing, black everything, except his dress shirt and the mask on his face. When he saw her, the mask melted away, and he began running towards her, yelling in both Spanish and English as he caught and hugged her tightly. The cloak smacked him, and again Stephen snorted as the woman scolded the garment and told it that these two beings would be helping them escape.

And then they did. He watched the grand display of the Egyptian God tearing open a portal similar to what a Sling ring would, and they stepped through. Only to come out in darkness, near a barely lit little park that Stephen knew was just around the corner from his current location.

That's when he felt it, a massive power surge from the magic around him, and he woke up. He gasped, shooting up and out of bed as he ran to the window to check.

Sure enough, he could see a ridiculously tall and lanky bird-headed God, and two people beside him. Now the man was dressed in an all white suit, and the hat was just straight up gone. He used his magic to listen in, to see if they were talking. The man that was with her was talking, sounding all too British. They were discussing him, Stephen Strange, and how they needed to flee to avoid being detected by him.

Well too fucking late, he had seen them, and he knew about them.

***

You tried your ring, and it fizzled and crackled, barely making a cough of a portal big enough for a fly. You sighed in defeat, when the cloak snaked down your arm to the ring it had stolen from his Doctor Strange. It tugged gently on your hand, and you allowed it to move you, circling your hands the way that was required to summon a portal. You caught on and took over, forming a perfect portal as reward for your efforts. You ducked inside, dragging Steven in with you, with Khonshu following closely behind.

When you got through, it happened to be the same hotel you had been at before. You frowned when you saw the parking lot was full out front. This was not a good place, and you again ripped another portal open, stepping inside to come out at the other end of the city. You promptly checked into a different hotel, then locked yourselves inside for the night.

Khonshu was weak enough that he actually required a bed to sleep on. You ushered him into the bedroom and elongated the bed for his much larger frame, before leaving him there to rest. When you came out, Steven was taking his coat off and hanging it up. He moved around the room, finding the kettle in the cupboard, and bringing it out to make tea. You patted the cloak, and it glided off of you to go sit in one of the chairs at the tiny table. Jake's jacket joined Steven's and you used your magic to change into shorts and one of Marc's shirts.

"Oh. Marc says he's been looking for that shirt. We thought it was eaten up by the voids." Steven chuckled as he waited for the water to boil. You smiled sheepishly, taking a seat at the table.

Eventually you had some tea, and you produced the last of your weed that you had left from the old universe, rolling it with your magic as you sipped the hot brew. Once you had about six joints rolled, you moved to the couch with Steven. He pulled the bed out of it and set the blankets up for the both of you to relax on. After, he flipped the television on, while you smoked, with Steven surprising you and taking a few hits. Eventually you passed out in his arms, with him following quickly behind.

***

Stephen Strange was now dressed and awake. He went straight to work on going to the library and pulling books from the shelves on the items she had acquired in his dream. After, he grabbed books on dreams and came across information on 'dream walking'. It explained that usually the practice was a type of dark magic, but some people had the innate ability to do it without requiring magic spells. Unfortunately the book contained very little on how to do it on command, and it merely referred to another book, the name of which wasn't mentioned.

The face he saw in his dreams was familiar, like he had seen it before while dreaming of his other, more evil self, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. She looked so similar to the woman that just arrived with a God and his Avatar. He quickly went to the artifact room, to the Cauldron of the Cosmos, and he peered inside while concentrating on the face of the woman.

It showed exactly where she was, proving that Stephen was correct in his assumption. That woman from his dreams was indeed the one that just got here. She was now in some hotel in the upper part of town, far away from the Sanctum. He debated on going to the hotel, but he thought twice about it, knowing that if she really did just flee from a dying reality, one that an alternate version of him had destroyed after threatening her, she probably wouldn't exactly wish to see his face.

But the dreams he had been having for the past few weeks, told him she was friends with Wong. So he immediately went to wake the poor man up to explain everything, and boy was Wong disturbed. He did eventually agree to go see her, but only after she had stopped running and settled down for a bit.

***

The next morning you awoke to a warm body beside you. A heavy arm was curled around your stomach, a face nudged into your neck, hot breath tickling your skin. It felt so nice and comforting. You gently placed your hand over the one that sat on your stomach, fingers slowly drawing circles on the rough skin on the knuckles there. This closeness was something that you had yearned for your entire life, yet not a single person from your old life was alive, except this man sleeping next to you.

A loud humming began to come from him, sounding almost like a deep throaty purr. His hand tightened on your waist, drawing you even closer as he inhaled your scent. His arm underneath you slowly moved, while at the same time, his hips bucked into yours ever so slightly.

You groaned, feeling his hand grab at your breast, pawing and kneading it gently as he mouthed at your shoulder. You let out a sharp sigh as you rolled your hips back, feeling the obvious hardness against your backside.

"Ah, mmm…" The sound escaped your lips like a sultry moan, and the hand at your breast squeezed a bit harder.

A gravely groan hit your ears as the other hand moved lower, lightly dragging heavily calloused fingers down your stomach. You whimpered lightly, feeling him buck against you again and you sucked in a breath.

"Hey, you awake?" You carefully asked to see if he was awake, or just moving on autopilot in his sleep. You also wanted to know which one was touching you like this, if they even meant to or not. The hands froze in their movements. The lips slowly peeled themselves from your skin and you heard a husky chuckle.

"Sì, mi vida…" Jake's voice murmured, and his hands went right back to what they were doing, as did his lips and hips. You groaned, feeling his hand move to creep under your shirt, fingers quickly finding one of your nipples. The second he grasped it between his thick fingers, your hips slammed back and you hissed.

"Mierda. Did I hurt you?" He asked as he stilled completely.

"No, it's okay. I liked it." You huffed out, and he let out a groan as he pressed himself against you nice and hard while going back at your nipple. His teeth dragged along your skin as his free hand dipped into the waistband of your shorts, testing to see if you would stop him.

"Jake…" The way you said his name made him growl. His fingers were quick to dive down into your heat and the sound he made was borderline pornographic.

"Can I have you?" He rasped hotly into your ear, his fingers pushing into your already soaked hole. You shook as he ground the palm of his hand over the front of your seam and your clit.

"Y-yes…"

***

Somewhere in England, a man tossed and turned in his sleep. His olive skin was beaded with sweat, his ebony hair soaked and messy as his brain conjured up vivid dreams. The bed creaked with each restless movement, with the man groaning, his face scrunched up in an odd mixture of pain and pleasure.

It was that damned woman again. Flashes of her with a man that looked exactly like himself and an odd bird headed God that closely resembled his own master, but less dead looking. He felt like it was an out of body experience, yet he could feel the sorrow and the pain that leaked from his double's chest.

But now… The woman was curled up in that man's arms, and in an instant, he felt like he had been pulled directly into that body. Even though it looked like his, it felt so very different.

For starters, he could feel everything, but his movements were not his own. Secondly, he couldn't feel or hear the other occupants of the body at all. Not his or this version's. He could feel the warmth of the woman's skin, and the soft swell of her breasts and ass as the body moved without his consent.

There was more movement that he couldn't control, but really, he didn't seem to mind at all, because it felt good, and this was the woman from his dreams. She moaned and shifted, rolling her hips against his, and he hissed as he buried his face into her neck, smelling her sweat and her lust.

"Ah, mmm…" She moaned and then spoke up.

"Hey, you awake?"

"Sì, mi vida…" A voice just like his own rasped back, and he suddenly felt just how hard he was as his hands touched her body. She squeaked and he stopped moving, feeling like he may have hurt her.

"Mierda. Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's okay. I liked it." Her words sent him into a frenzy, and began to grope at her again, until he heard his name on her lips.

"Jake…"

He could have sang, if his body wasn't being operated by the other him. He suddenly had a thought, and he groaned as the words flew from his mouth, surprising him that he managed to make the body do something.

"Can I have you?

"Y-yes."

When she answered yes, he was over the moon, and the body seemed to be doing what he wanted, but every so often, it wouldn't, which only reminded him that this highly graphic dream was not under his control.

***

"Really?" Jake asked, hoping he didn't imagine the answer he was hoping for. Both Steven and Marc were awake, and they were stunned at what was happening. Marc was a bit jealous, and Steven was envious.

"Yes. You can have me. All of you can have me." You replied softly, and Jake groaned. He heard his alters groan in his head, telling him they were awake and fully aware. He was quick to reposition himself so he was on top of you, gazing down at how you looked in Marc's shirt he 'let you borrow' the previous night.

"Mi hermosa bruja…" And he moved down to capture your lips with his, his hips lowering to brush himself against you. You groaned at the feeling of him through the layers of thin fabric.

"Oh fuck." You breathed into his mouth. His hands made quick work of ripping the shirt from your body, his face diving down to capture one of your tender buds in his mouth. He tossed the useless piece of fabric to the side, then went down to tug on your shorts. You wriggled free, leaving you in nothing and very exposed. Jake pulled and tugged on your nipple with his teeth as his hands explored your thighs.

Your hands dived into his hair, pulling him in while you groaned and arched your back. His fingers came down, gently parting your folds as he slipped a couple of fingertips just inside your seam. His fingers moved up and down, brushing around your clit every so often, making sure to spread your wetness around. You thrust your hips up, begging him for more, and he growled as he slipped two fingers inside.

In and out he pumped his fingers, delighting in how you squirmed for him, and how your face scrunched up in pleasure. One of your hands flew down to wrap around his wrist as you pushed his hand harder against your core. Jake sucked his lower lip into his mouth as he curled his fingers, causing you to buck up wildly into his hand. He did this for a little longer, then he pulled his hand away to see how soaked his hand was.

Jake moaned as he sucked on his fingers, his eyes staring right into yours. You shivered and grabbed for his underwear, quickly pulling them down so his beautiful fat cock was on display. He quickly discarded them and leaned in once more, this time pressing himself flush against your chest as he kissed you hard a fast. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and you shivered as he ran his hands down your sides. His hands grabbed at your ass, pulling your hips up and off the mattress while he shoved his knees underneath you. He pulled away, huffing as he looked at you with desire in his blown pupils.

"Mi hermosa luz de luna." Jake murmured. He moved one hand to your face, cupping your cheek. He rubbed it with his thumb, then let go. He trailed his fingers down, along your neck and collarbone making you whine for him. As his fingers circled each breast, flicking each nipple as he went, you melted and sighed. You enjoyed those rough feeling fingers on your skin, knowing his hands did hard manual labor. You watched as he brushed over your stomach, to your navel, and beyond to your mound. He barely touched you, before he drew a line up your inner thigh.

Small whimpers left your mouth as Jake drew his hand away and to his plump cock. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft and pumped himself lazily a few times as he watched for your reaction. You groaned as you watched a thick glob of precome dribble out and down the fat head.

"I've wanted you for so long… We all have." Jake husked as he lined himself up with your dripping hole. He rubbed the head up and down your slit, earning him a gasp as he watched your body quiver.

"Fuck, I've wanted you all since those dreams started up…" You softly admitted, and Jake hissed as he fought the urge to slam himself into you.

"Ready?" He asked. You nodded and ran your hands up his arms, right up to his broad shoulders and into his hair.

"Yesss… Please." You breathed hotly and he slowly sank into your moist heat. Your whole body tensed, but in a good way. You found your legs were wrapping around his waist automatically, with him smoothing a hand down to your ass to help steady you. He gently lifted you as he pressed even deeper into your heat. Jake was holding back a snarl at how good you felt.

"¡Mierda! Mi luz de luna…" Jake kissed you feverishly as his hips started to move. He held you still as he thrusted hard and slow into you. Both of his headmates were groaning loudly in delight at the show. There was a silent understanding that Marc and Steven would be patient and wait until he was done with you.

"Jake, fuck… So big…" You whined at him. Jake hissed and stilled, your words shooting straight to his balls. He could hear Steven loosing his shit about the body having a large sexual organ, and Marc telling him to shut the fuck up so he could hear the moans you were making.

Jake couldn't help himself as he went harder and faster. He could feel your nails digging into the nape of his neck and shoulder, and he was more than happy to keep going until his back was destroyed.

"Te sientes muy bien. So fucking good…" Jake slowly twisted himself back so you were sitting in his lap as he thrusted up into you. The way he held your hips made it so you could barely move, like he was more interested in rubbing you from the inside, instead of battering your innards with his cock. It felt so intimate, so right.

You groaned at the way the position changed. He was going even deeper than before, and you had troubles focusing on anything but his face. Every thrust was hitting you just right, making you see stars as you gripped his shoulders. Your hips moved with his, chasing the incredible feeling higher and higher.

"J-Jake…" You gasped his name as you felt the knot inside of you come dangerously close to snapping. He shifted you on his lap, pulling you flush against his chest. He pressed your body down against his as he pushed upwards, making sure to grind his pelvis against your clit. The entire time, his forehead was resting on yours, his sweat dripping down his beautiful skin.

"Mi hermosa bruja… Let go… Come for me…" Jake groaned out right before he kissed you hard. He licked into your mouth and bit your lip, sucking it into his mouth as he gave you an extra hard couple of thrusts.

Your cries were muffled from Jake breathing in your scream as you felt everything unravel. Intense pleasure shocked your system as you came the hardest you had in a very long time. You had such an intense orgasm, that you soaked his lap. Your body was thrumming and vibrating as he kept digging himself into you.

"Just a little bit more…" Jake breathed against your lips. You had enough strength to move your hips again, helping him to chase his orgasm much faster. He started cursing in Spanish as he gripped your sides tighter.

You could feel a second orgasm quickly approaching, and you moved a bit faster as you captured his lips with yours. In no time at all, he was throwing his head back, exposing his throat to you. You leaned in and licked at his skin, and that was it for Jake. He groaned loudly as he came, while you rode him until you peaked again.

You both slowed right down. You kept licking his neck as he shook beneath you. He was still babbling out expletives as you lazily rocked on his lap, milking him for everything that he had while resting your head on his shoulder.

"That… Was amazing, Jake… Thank you" You huffed as you hugged him tightly. He squeezed you back and nuzzled his face into your neck.

"Sí. Asombrosa." He gave you a few kisses, then slowly helped you off of him. He stumbled towards the kitchen and grabbed one of the towels there. He was quick with getting it warm and wet, then he came back to gently clean you up.

"You know I can just go have a shower or use my magic to clean up-"

"Shush. Let me. It's the least I can do after." Jake grinned as he did just that, then cleaned himself up after.

***

Back in England, the man bolted upright as his bed creaked loudly. His shirtless chest was covered in beads of sweat, his hair messy and damp. The droplets slowly moved with gravity, from his hairline, down the sides of his face and neck, only to pool in the divots of his clavicle, before finally trickling down the silver chain of his necklace.

'What the fuck kind of dream was that, Jake?' A soft and panicked voice wafted up to meet the man now sitting in his bed, alone. The man, Jake, slowly looked over at the full length mirror beside his bed, his eyes meeting with his reflection.

"That's never happened before, Steven. They've never been erotic dreams. Why now, all of a sudden?" Jake replied to the mirror. His reflection shrugged and moved off the bed to stand with his arms crossed over his chest. It was very obvious the dream was so realistic, it left physical evidence. There was a large darkened wet patch on the front of the boxers, and the man in the mirror was still hard as a rock.

'Yeah, well… It happened, mate. That was too real to be just a bloody dream.' The reflection said as he indicated to his groin in a comical fashion. Jake sighed and he stood up to show his reflection the same problem as he rubbed the back of his neck and gave a shrug.

'You want to know what I think?' Another voice spoke up. Both Jake and his reflection looked towards the other mirror on the wall. This one had a bored expression.

"Sí, Spector. I do want to know." Jake barked at him. The one on the wall grinned and pointed to one of Steven's book cases.

'Dream walking. I've heard about it from Khonshu. He told me once, that some of the dreams I have can be explained in that book. I haven't gotten around to it, since it's Steven's book and he hasn't even read it yet.'

'That book, Marc? It was a thrift store find. I liked the cover.' Steven bubbled up in reply.

'Yeah, that book, Steven. The one you bought because you couldn't find the publication date.' Marc said as he rolled his eyes.

"I thought he bought it because it looked old as dirt." Jake remarked as he went to the patio door and stepped outside. He lit a cigarette and leaned against the railing, his eyes trained to a specific direction without really knowing why.

'Well, yes… That too.' Steven said as he shifted over from the mirror to the reflection of the glass in the patio door. Marc took his time, slowly appearing in many smaller reflections, until he got to the dusty service of the lid on the unused barbecue grill.

'You should really try reading the book, Jake. You never read books, just magazines and those comic books. If you don't, I will. Just thought you were the one that was most concerned about this woman we keep dreaming about-'

"¡Mierda! Fine! I'll read the damned book. Just let me have a fucking smoke first." Jake snapped back at them both. He stood still for a long time, just puffing away as the gears in his mind started to turn. The other two went quiet and allowed Jake his peace until he went back into the flat.

Once back inside, Jake took the old book and sat down at Steven's desk with a coffee. Just like Steven, he needed reading glasses, and he had bought his own pair to use. His were round, framed with a thin gold wire and matching gold arms. He set them onto his face and opened the book, beginning to read while his alters read over his shoulder. All three of them took in the knowledge, signaling to one another when they were done and needed the page to be turned.

It wasn't until a mixture of exactly three coffees, two black, one with an obscene amount of cream and sugar, and then four Earl Greys with oat milk and honey later, that they finished the book. By then, it was the wee hours of the morning when they called their patron deity for a talk.

***

Series Master List

***

Items the reader picked up:

Bag of Holding(D&D name)/Bag of Infinite Capacity (MCU name)

Wand of Watoomb

Sands of Nisanti

Various books and scrolls

Gold and silver

Strange's Sling ring from the destroyed universe

Cloak of Levitation can change colors and forms, at least according to my research. It supposedly changes to suit whoever wears it. I named the cloak, and I decided it's a he, just so I can call him a good boi. And his name is Gary. I legit name the red cloak Gary in all the first I write.

***

Special thanks for proofreading goes to:

Not today, no one.

Special thanks to:

@mics89 for Spanish translations. I remembered you helped me with them a long time ago, and I never got around to posting this.

***

Tags:

@competentpotato @dilfdameron @bitchyexpertprincess @buubsii

[malcifer85]

So I have nobody to talk to about this in my life currently but I'm having, not exactly a crisis of faith but of belief I suppose. I grew up ostensibly as Christian, a rather laxidasical branch of luthernisim I believe. At the time I believed whole heartedly in the entire shebang. My father seemed to do it mostly to humor my mother I think. Sometime around second grade he dove into Eastern philosophy and religion which a fervor and pretty quickly abandoned the Christianity thing. This had a big effect on me.

My childhood was difficult, to say the least. I won't be trauma dumping right now, don't worry. Let's just say I didn't fit in at school or with other kids and my father had a nasty temper and my mother is a whole other can of worms. I was a deeply unhappy and troubled child. I was also extremely bright and imaginative, and in the tiny speck I grew up in this was NOT normal nor wanted by any except my parents. For all their faults they tried to do the best they could with the limited tools they had.

I remember one night I was once again crying myself to sleep. I was roughly 8 or so years old I believe. I was praying my little heart out, begging God to make things better. At the very least to simply take the pain away if even for a little while. He never really did...

Well after that it was over by degrees and by the time my father died my faith was toast. I should add that all through my childhood I was having strange experiences that most people would call paranormal. From constant nightmares and visions of all manner of nasty beasties in my room at night to ghosts and UFOs. Hell my earliest memory is a paranormal one! I'm in my daybed (think a cross between a crib and a toddler bed) and suddenly a pair of grotesque hands reach up around the sides, as if someone were under the bed as if to hug me, it was not a hug. I remember the hands squeezing my stomach and chest harder and harder until I couldn't breathe. Then my mother walked in and they were gone! I asked her about it years later and she remembers me having mysterious scratch marks on my torso at around that age.

The next event that stands out I was probably 6 or 7 and my mother was getting to head to work. At the time she had very erratic hours so it would have e been somewhere around 3 or 4 in the morning. She was in the bathroom showering, putting on makeup etc and I was lying in my bed trying to go back to sleep after she woke me up. Next thing I know there is a light shinning in my window. It was instant. There was no gradual brightening like headlights coming through a window. It was a small light gradually getting bigger like a flashlight (besides I was on the second floor) it filled my entire very large bedroom window completely. Of course I was terrified and began to scream for my mother. No more than 3 or 4 seconds could have gone by and she was there and the light was gone as if it never existed.

There were numerous UFO sightings, mostly with my father driving at night on the county roads in the boondocks. Perhaps some other time I'll talk about HIS close encounter on the very same roads.

He died when I was 11. It devastated me. Yes he was abusive, mentally and emotionally not physically thank God. But compared to his father he was a damn saint. He was also my mentor, my hero and my only friend for the majority of my childhood. This eventually led me to abandon western religion and delve into any and every alternative. Tarot, Psychics, Buddhism, Hindu, Daoisim,witchcraft and wicca as well as some darker paths. I'll only touch on a couple incidents for illustration purposes. A big one was the premonition of my father's death. I had a dream that my former dare officer had been at my door telling me someone died and I remember being so confused why she was there then crushed at the death but at the time I simply assumed it was another of my strange dreams. A week or two later my dare officer woke me up and stood in my doorway telling me my father was dead. There countless times a sudden powerful feeling saved me from trouble, or jail, or worse. There were speels and rituals that payed off spectacularly, and backfired just as spectacularly. I could go on and on the point is I was a true believer in this as well.

It all came to a head when I was about 16. I remember lying in my bed late at night. The street lights were streaming in my bedroom windows, one in each. Then I was overwhelmed with a feeling of foreboding and revulsion. Suddenly it was as if someone had pulled a blindfold over my eyes as my room went pitch black. Not the darkness of the city. Not the eigengrau of closed eyelids but a total and complete absence of light. Then as I peered uselessly into it I realized I COULD see something. It was as if hundreds, thousands, of these THINGS that were darker even than the darkness were crawling and writhing and sliding around each other everywhere I looked. Somehow I knew they were hungry and they were there for me. I was terrified. Reverting to the instincts inherent in every child in history I threw the covers over my head and cowered in terror. Then something in me snapped. I don't mean that as a metaphor I LITERALLY felt something in me crack or break and I screamed NO! Not in fear but in anger! I said enough was enough and to this day I have no idea precisely WHAT I did but the darkness, whatever it was, was blown away and out of my room in an instant.

Life went on and I grew older. I had completely stepped away from anything occult or paranormal. I threw myself into impericisim with a vengeance. I studied all the science I could on my own. I was a rationalist and proud of it. I chocked all my youthful adventures up to the drugs or mental illness or just about anything I could rationalize it away with.

But the more I learned and studied the fringes and bleeding edge of our scientific understanding the more I was questioned my dismissal of the paranormal. Then I began meditating. Then I tried LSD and mushrooms. A whole library of books have been written on THAT subject and they are well worth pursuing but not today.

Now here I am. I have no idea what comes next. I have always been, but never more so than now, in need of a mentor. A teacher a guide someone to show me the way. I've had to flounder and stumble through all this more or less alone for my entire life and frankly it's exhausting.

[inkedmyths]

[[So I just woke up from a Fucked Up Dream and I just. Yeah. Not 100% accurate to what I dreamed, mostly bc I'm already forgetting some details]]

Statement of Inked Myths, regarding the passing of an ill relative. Statement given June 18, 2023. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

---

Statement begins.

-

I wasn't supposed to be home.

That's the thing I keep coming back to. I wasn't supposed to be home at the time. If I hadn't been home, my mom would be dead. Maybe the rest of us would be dead too. I don't—

...I don't think I want to think about that.

Anyways. I guess I should start off with the background, first, right. You have to understand that first.

I live with my family. Well, my mom's side of the family. Sometimes I think it makes me a disappointment, you know. Twenty year old still living in the house. I try not to dwell on it, though. Did you know the whole "move out right at 18" thing only really became a thing in the 1950's? Same with the nuclear family model. It was a couple of decades worth of a fluke, a country wealthy enough that you could do that. Now, it's so damn difficult to make a living wage, and people still expect you to move out—

Er. Sorry. Back on topic.

So, yeah, I live with my family. It's me, my mom, my grandmother, grandfather, and...

...And my great grandpa. Or, was.

That last one, um. That's why I'm here today.

My great grandfather had been ill for a long time. So's my grandfather, but Grandpy was worse off. It's just, life, you know? He was so old, and you rarely get that old and stay in good health. So he just kind of sat around most days, sitting in his chair, watching television or reading or whatever it was he did to pass the time.

I– God. I feel. I feel so bad, you know? I barely know what he even liked. I just... like he was always just kind of there, in the background, and I never... never really talked with him. I had my life and it was going too fast to stop and just. Just talk. God, who knows how long that— that thing—

Right. Getting ahead of myself.

Point is, he was sick, and had been for a long time. We took care of him, as best we could. Not really qualified, since none of us are really caretakers, but. Well. Homes cost money, and the best one we could find was so far away, so. We did our best.

...He used to talk. Just, a lot. To anyone who happened to pass by his chair. Just, about anything. What he was watching, recent news, reminiscing about times gone by. Sometimes it was just nonsense. He just liked talking. My grandmother always said to try and listen to him, if just for a little bit. That he just wanted some comoany for a while. I was never— never the greatest, at sitting and listening. Just. Don't like sitting still, and it tended to be boring, and. God, I feel like an asshole. But I mean. We all tried.

It should have been a huge red flag, when he stopped talking one day.

I think... I think we all assumed it was a sign of his health taking another bad turn. That happens. One day they can chatter your ears off, the next they can't. Perfectly natural.

Life went on, but it was. Unnerving. He'd always been talkative. Always. And he stopped watching his television, so it was always silent down there now. It freaked me out, so I avoided the downstairs even more than I already did.

I wasn't supposed to be home, that day.

Last week, I'd gone to school, you know, as normal, but. God. Have you ever had a feeling of dread so, so awful, you feel actually sick? I thought my unease would go away, but it just. It stayed, evolved, and I just couldn't shake that gut-wrenching feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Mom was off early, so I called, and had her pick me up. Not that home felt much better but, god, I didn't want to sit through fucking pre-calc while I felt like this. I figured it was just a particularly nasty bout of anxiety. I don't usually get, like, the whole shaking and crying and having a hard time breathing panic attacks, but I do get, like. Deep bouts of anxiety where I can't eat and feel really jittery.

Mom picked me up, asked if I was ok. I just kind of, shrugged, said the anxiety was bad today. She nodded. Her phone went off. My great grandfather was calling. Mom groaned, and ignored it.

He'd been calling all day, she said. Asking when she'd be home. Over, and over. When would she be home?

In hindsight this is. God. I wasn't supposed to be home. He— no, it. It didn't plan for me being there.

So, we got home, and went up to our rooms, like we always do. I sat down for a while, tried to take comfort in more familiar, quieter surroundings, but couldn't. That feeling of dread just felt like it was growing, and growing, and.

You know, I just read the other day that it's a symptom of a heart attack. This overwhelming feeling of dread. That it's your body knowing something is really, really wrong, without being able to tell it to you specifically. I've never had a heart attack, but I imagine that feeling is probably not to far off from what I was feeling then.

I decided to go down and grab a snack. Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly jittery, it's just because I haven't eaten enough. So, I got up, and stopped by mom's room, asked her if she wanted something, and she said she'd be down in a second.

I turned away, walked to the top of the stairs and.

And was face to face with my great grandfather.

He was standing. He was on the stairs. He he hadn't— he hadn't been able to walk unassisted in— in years! He was standing on his own, walking up the stairs, in a way I'd never seen him do! It looked wrong. Like the slightest breeze should knock him over, like he should be shaking from the effort of standing. But he stood, like it was normal, though it was anything but.

The dread turned into terror when my eyes met— met it's. Because in that moment I knew that this? This was not my great grandfather. It was something else. Something pretending to be him. Empty eyes stared back at me, devoid of that little twinkle he'd always had, no matter what he was talking about. They were just... just empty, like glass.

I didn't even have time to scream. He— it lunged at me, grabbed me, and.

You know that thing in dreams, where you can't move or scream? Where you like, try to scream, but nothing comes out?

It is so, so much worse when it happens in real life.

I struggled, tried to break away, trying to scream. I couldn't. I could barely move, the moment it grabbed me. It was like it was... draining, me. Of my strength, my life even. I couldn't— I couldn't fight back. I fell backwards, wheezing, desperately trying to free myself, to scream, to hit something and make a noise. It's grip moved towards my throat, and there was nothing I could do.

I don't know if my struggle managed to make enough noise, or if my mom had just arbitrarily decided that was when she was going to get up and go join me downstairs. Or maybe she, too, had felt the same dread I had, and couldn't stand it anymore.

She walked out of her room to my struggle for my life.

I don't really remember exactly. I just know she knocked it off of me, and we both ended up downstairs.

And I know it lunged for her, next.

Free from its weird, freezing grasp, I ran. Fight or flight, and for maybe the first time in my life, I was choosing fight. I'm not a strong person, but, but that was my mom, she was in danger, and so was I, and. I ran into the kitchen, and grabbed a knife. Cliche, maybe, but what else was I supposed to do.

I ran back, to where it now had my mom in that same, awful grip. She was frozen, like I had been, unable to do more than try and not fall over, unable to shake it off as its cold, thin fingers dug into her arms.

But all its attention was focused on her. Maybe it thought I had run away completely. It's back was to me, and I had an opening.

I've never, in my life, killed anything more than a bug. Never gone hunting, never slaughtered a pig or whatever. Never really had the stomach for it.

I took the knife I grabbed, and without hesitation, plunged it into that thing's back. It plunged deep, like through sponge, a streak of blood spurting out. I guess it didn't have much substance. It just kind of... shuddered, squirmed a bit around the knife, and then it just... went still.

I didn't expect it to be that easy. Maybe it wasn't built to be stabbed, or whatever. With an ability to render someone imobile with a touch, other physical defenses aren't a priority I suppose.

My mother and I stood in silence. Then, realizing how this looked, I set about cleaning up. Not really, I mean, I was in shock, but I got the body out of the front entryway. Dragged it outside, back behind the house. I knew we had to properly dispose of it or something, but didn't know what else to do about it, for now.

Then me and my mom just kind of. Sat there, for a moment. And she said, "I should have known. He just kept calling, and calling, asking when I'd be home."

I wasn't supposed to be home. It had been planning on going after my mom, and wasn't expecting me. That had probably saved our lives.

The rest of my family came home, along with my uncle and his family. They'd been talking, apparently, about how something was wrong with my great grandfather, how he'd just stopped talking and they needed to figure out what was wrong.

Mom and I exchanged a look.

I don't know what she told them. I'd had enough for the day. I wandered back up to my room, closed the door, and collected myself.

I... I don't remember when exactly he'd stopped talking. That must have been it, right? When he'd been... been replaced? How long had it been? How long had we had that thing in our house, biding its time and waiting to kill us?

It's gone now. My uncle burned what was left of it. We haven't talked about it since.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel safe in my home again.

-

Statement ends.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone just walked in here and confessed to murdering their ailing relative in the midst of some kind of fit. I debated calling the police on this matter, but decided against it. I have some doubts as to whether or not it would be taken seriously, or, given our Institute's reputation, if it would be passed off as not enough evidence, if not outright a prank.

It does fit with the running theme of doppelgangers that I've noticed in several statements. I'm not sure if that lends it more or less credit.

There is... another reason, I did not call the police on this. I had Sasha do some digging on the family, to try and figure out which members were referred to, particularly this "great grandfather". As it turns out, the man in question was recorded as having passed peacefully in his sleep... 16 years before this statement was given.

Statement ends.

[yuncheoligans]

~Beautiful Stranger~

Chapter 4: Well...That wasn't part of the Mission.

Description: A lonely perpetually single grad student working at a museum is approached by a handsome man, he looks expensive. Maybe this is your chance to get swept off your feet. Maybe he wants something else.

Warnings: I don't censor myself so I don't censor the characters, so Language warning. (let me know if anything is missing)

taglist: @legohwas, @hwaightme, @starillusion13

w/c: 2151

~Masterlist~

~Series Masterlist~

a/n: HI! I'm back with an update or two! I know I took a long step back from this one but it's been so refreshing to start another project and go on vacation and just take some time for myself. I'm so so so grateful to everyone for allowing me to take my time. Chapter 4 is going to be a 4 and 4.5, just because I liked the break in 4 and a little time has passed between 4 and 4.5. I hope you enjoy and thank you for the love and support.

------------

He at least kept to his word, he was there when I woke up. Our legs were tangled together and he held me against him.

“Morning Beautiful.” his voice thick in his morning voice, a little hoarse from drinking and the activities that occured.

“Morning.” I leaned up to kiss him and he met my lips.

“You know you talk a lot in your sleep, luckily you didn’t say anything embarrassing” he chuckled.

“And what did I say?” I sighed.

“Just the passcode to your phone and bank account.” he chuckled. “I’ve now cleared out your account so you’re broke.”

“Oh took all 4 dollars I had I see.” I chuckled back and yawned before leaning back to stretch. “Ooo ow.” I winced.

“You okay tiny?” he asked.

“Don’t know, someone really beat up my lower body last night.” I gave him the side eye. Tiny?

“Hmm? Sounds like a lucky guy…I should beat him up hmm?”

“Probably.” I kissed him again.

“Let me make it up to you.” he kissed me this time and rolled us around.

He sure knows how to make it up to me I’ll tell you that…if my water bill is insanely high this month I don’t know why. Also if I took an extra long shower…don’t ask.

“I should probably get going.” he mumbled against my lips before moving to put his shirt and pants back on.

“Okay, but don’t stay away too long, I’ll have to call my many other suitors if you do and then you’ll be shit out of luck.” I chuckled and threw him his shirt.

“Don’t you worry that pretty little head of yours, I’ll call you later.” he smiled.

“Promise?”

“I swear it.” he chuckled.

I walked him out and sat in my little moment of bliss before Liz and Becka came to interrogate me about everything that happened, after a literal 3 hour talk about what happened, repeating everything and elaborating Liz finally cracked, she was excited.

“A Rich Handsome Man….in love with my best friend??” she squealed.

“He’s not in love with me Liz.”

“Oh he so is, you don’t see the way he looks at you.”

“We’ve been on three dates Liz, I only slept with him, it’s why he looked like that….”

“Only slept with him…Do you even hear yourself!?” she yelled. “You wouldn’t just do that unless you like him and I saw the way he was gawking at you all night, he couldn’t stand it when you started talking to that other tall guy.”

“Mingi? They’re best friends.”

“Even more reason to be jealous of him.”

“Becks are you really just going to sit there and listen to this?”

“I mean he did stutter when he saw you in that dress y/n” she shrugged. “I don’t really get men but you did look pretty hot. Ems did a good job on you.”

“What do you mean you don’t get men?” I looked at her. “You had a boyfriend before Emma.”

“Yeah but they’re still nasty, don’t know why I’m attracted to them…Don’t change the subject, you both are crazy about each other.”

“I mean maybe just a little.” I shrugged. “I still barely know him, I’m just…we got kind of tipsy last night and I really wanted to so I did…it was…really good.”

“Good. You should brag about it.” they both said.

“He’s worth bragging about.” Liz nodded at Becka.

“I gotta go get some studio time in I’ll catch you guys later.” I laughed a little and went to get my stuff to head to the University to try to figure out this project.

I couldn’t do a sculpture, I’m terrible at it, it took me a month to make a bowl. Charcoal and Pencils make my skin crawl. Carving is too dangerous, I should not be around too many sharp objects like that. Construction takes too long…I could try a 3D collage like finding things to make something else? No..I’m no good at that. Photography…No…Not Chalk, Not Pastels…WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?? I guess I should just try painting, but what, it should invoke an emotion or make the patron feel something…and I don’t feel anything looking at this blank canvas. Maybe I should just start painting and hopefully something will come through eventually. What if I paint it different shades of white. I sighed and pulled out my sketchbook. I started drawing, just letting my hand do the work and not really thinking about it.

It’s been a few weeks since the gala….(yes he has called, and messaged me….and..boyfriend things.) Do I really want to go to work on my day off…not really but I might as well, see if I can get any inspiration.

I took a nice walk to get to the Museum, it wasn’t raining today and the wind wasn’t unbearable, just a light breeze. I get in for free luckily while working there so I just show my employee ID and go right in, I sat in my favorite room…the room where everything changed. Now I really felt lke sketching, just letting go and drawing whatever, it started as an ambiguous shape, at first I thought it was a flower pot and then maybe a house? Before I knew it, it started to turn into a head, and then a nose, eyes, a slight smirk, the nose has a cute little round tip, the hair is a little bowl like and comes to the eyebrows, its black hair and…..Oh god it’s him. I’m really sitting here drawing him? Could I-

“Drawing something?” came a man’s voice.

I slammed my sketchbook shut.

“H-Hey.” I smiled looking up to see the same man I had been drawing.

“Hi.” he chuckled.

“What are you doing here Yunho?” I asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.” he shrugged. “I had a meeting with one of the directors. Too bad they overbooked and we had to reschedule.”

Was that a lie?? If it was it was very compelling, I couldn’t tell his voice didn’t waver. Was he actually stalking me and just very good at covering it up?

“Oh. Going to take them up on the offer?” I looked around a little hoping he wouldn’t ask about the sketch.

“Haven’t decided yet, wanted to make sure I liked it first, see what it entails. What are you drawing?”

Dammit.

“N-Nothing, just…looking for inspiration.”

“Well from the smile you had while drawing, and how quickly you slammed it shut it seems you really liked it.” he sat next to me on the bench in the middle of the room. “By all means, continue, don’t let me interrupt.”

“Oh no it’s just a few silly sketches.” I blushed.

“Oh? Well I could pose for you if you’d like.” he smiled and I let out a small yelp.

“No no! Not necessary, I’m actually terrible at drawing people so I really shouldn’t be trusted to do so.” I waved my hand in front of my face. “I was actually trying to draw a flower pot. You know like that one.” I pointed to our Gaugain.

“Well by all means don’t let me stop you.” he smiled.

I opened my sketchbook back up but only slightly, I didn’t want him to know I was drawing him. This time I did try to draw the Flowers…it was probably about 30 minutes of us sitting in silence, I was just a little distracted, he was just…staring at me.

“Do I have something on my face?” I peaked over at him.

“Just admiring my favorite piece in the museum.” he smiled.

“Do you have to be such a romantic?” I flushed a deep red and turned a little away from him.

“Are you blushing?”

“No.” I hid my face.

“Hey, can I ask you something.” he smiled and took my hand gently.

I turned back to him. “Hmm?”

“Who’s your favorite artist?” he rubbed the knuckles on my hand.

“Huh?” I looked at him. “Like…in general or here?”

“Just in general.”

“Hokusai.” I played with the sleeve of my sweater. “My favorite painting is The Great Wave off Kanagawa.”

“Is it here?”

“No it’s…in New York..at The Metropolitan Museum of Art.” I looked up at him a little. “Why?”

“Well now I know more about you and you let you sketchbook fall open…if you wanted me to pose I would’ve done so.”

I slammed the book closed and stood up but he didn’t let go of my hand.

“Let go please.” I pouted.

“One more question?” he smiled. I was a sucker for that smile. “When is the Gaugain getting taken down, I know you rotate the pieces and I want to make sure I’m here when you take it down for a month.”

“It’ll get rotated out next month, probably mid month to be exact.” I took my hand back and packed up my things. “Sorry, you’re just…on my mind.”

“When it’s done I’ll buy it off of you.” he chuckled and stood up with me.

“No, I’ll give it to you if you want it that bad.” I rolled my eyes and laughed a little.

“My pretty girl drew me, I want everyone to see it.” he whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.

“Now you’re trying to embarrass me.” I smiled lightly.

He walked with me out.

“You know-”

“That’s my name.” he interrupted.

“Shutup.” I laughed. “You know MY roommates interrogated me after you left that morning, I was questioned for 3 hours.” I made sure to keep the sentence this time.

“Oh? About?”

“You.” I nudged him. “They say you’re absolutely crazy about me, smitten, head over heels.”

“Well can’t deny that, you’re definitely the best thing that’s happened in the most recent years of my life. I was lying earlier…I was….hoping you were working so I could see you for just a second.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Your earring fell off in my car and I wanted to return it.” he held up a silver earring I had been wearing at the gala.

“Oh! Sorry about that. Thank you.” I took it from him.

“Ride home?” he motioned to the car.

“No, I can take the train.” I smiled. “I was planning on calling you later you know…I’ve just been struggling with coming up with…anything for this final, like anything.”

“Creative block I get it.” he nodded. “Have you tried working out? Sometimes when I get a little blocked going for a run or something helps.”

“What a gym date?”

“Hey any excuse to see you in leggings.” he winked.

“You know you’ve been showing up here a lot actually, people might think you’re stalking me, that you’re some sort of creep, I mean people have been getting a little worried for my safety.”

“Okay Okay, I’ll back off.” he put his hands up. “This place just…lets me breathe, stop thinking so much about work and just…relax, you’re the added bonus, plus I like the lunch here when you’re here.”

“I’m just saying if I didn’t know any better you’d be planning some pretty big heist with how many times you come here and walk around.” I chuckled and he brushed me off.

“Nah, I’m not that good a liar, Hongjoong on the other hand, he could definitely be that crafty. I’m just a guy who likes Museums.”

He made note, he needed to back off from showing up for a while.

“I’ll call you later ok? And MAYYBEEE we can go to the gym together next time you want to go.” I smiled.

“Good and then I’ll let you see my place since I’ve seen yours.”

“Good, it’s only fair.”

“Good.” he smiled as I waved and left him on the steps to head to the train.

Everything was all going according to plan. They’d make their move when it went down to storage, the client would have it within the month and they’d have their money while moving onto the next piece, in fact maybe they could nab a few of the pieces on their little shopping list, afterall some of these pieces are highly requested, and Wooyoung has been working so hard to do his part, the Museum and You would be none the wiser, he could keep you happy and out of the loop, he could keep everyone else happy, all he needed to do was sit back, wait, and watch as it all fell into place.

“We move in one month” Yunho sent in their group message.

“And y/n?” Came Hongjoong and Wooyoung.

“Don’t worry, she’s the one who told me when it moves, she’ll stay out of it, I’ll make sure” he responded.

You make the perfect alibi, and he wants nothing more than to keep you safe while also getting his money. You truly are perfect in every way possible.

Prev/ Next

[hikarry]

You died for 2 minutes??? How does that happen?

Oof okay, so. Long story

I had a cyst on my right arm and was supposed to go under surgery to remove it. I was 12 at the time. The surgery was supposed to be at 10 am and I was supposed to arrive at the hospital at 6 am

Obviously, as with every other surgery, you have to go without eating so the last time I had eaten something was at 7pm of the previous day

Spencer and his family arrived at 6am. Changed clothes to the hospital garments and layed in bed, waiting for the 10am.

Apparently there was a really bad car accident with kids and they were taken by emergency to the hospital and took the surgery rooms that were designed for me and the other kids waiting for surgery on that floor

Time passed by, and I started feeling very weak. And thristy. But you couldn't even drink anything. At around 1pm my mother begged a nurse to give her a glass with water and sponge just so she could wet my lips and help me out a bit and he did. But she was sneaky and squeezed a bit of water into my mouth from time to time. I'll always be grateful for that

Alas, I was sent into surgery at 6pm. Again, remember: I haven't eaten in almost 24 hours and I was but a 12 year old kid

I said goodbye to my parents (my father had been holding onto my hand for hours at that point and kissed it before letting the nurses take me. It was very sweet ngl), the nurses put the mask on my face and the first thing I remember after that was waking up in my bedroom with my dad kneeling on the floor holding my arm with his head on my tummy. When I woke up I was very confused and I remember asking where I was and the poor man almost jumped out of his skin. While he answered me he started pressing the nurse button like crazy and two nurses came running and started asking a lot of questions that I honestly don't remember

Later, I found out I was so weak when I went into surgery that my heart gave out mid procedure. They had to close me up in a rush and try to revive me. I was out of it for so long one of the nurses actually went out of the room to warn my parents about what was happening. I have a very big nasty scar on my arm as a reminder of my lil vacation to the other side. Most people that see it ask if I burned myself, and I have to retell this story quite constantly tbh

You can kinda see my scar there on my arm

Anyway, They used the defibrillator on me and eventually my heart started beating again

I don't remember dying, but I was officially dead for around 2 minutes

There was no light, no heaven. I literally just remember waking up on my hospital room completely starving

[easierreadthandone4711]

Days Off

"...but all I ever took away from therapy was a somewhat clearer understanding of how messed up I was." - John Moe, The Hilarious World of Depression

I had expectations for my days off. The work week didn't end badly, even though a co worker of mine left a nasty taste in my mouth after speaking poorly about my work ethic to another co worker. The work load was easy and I was able to get a lot of reading done.

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls has me triggered and infuriated. I won't spoil books here but when I say the parents have me feeling some type of way...smh. Its been a great read though and I can safely say my oldest is also my literary twin.

I haven't mentioned her yet but I made a new friend here in Nantucket, she works with me currently and has been such a godsend for me. I'm not even sure she realizes how vital her taking me under her wing has been. For my first day off I woke up early with an optimistic attitude and ready to get things done. The front desk was finally having someone come fix the heater after days of freezing at night - while he was fixing I planned to go to the store to grab laundry necessities and food for the upcoming week. I would return and go to the gym, update my blog and get some studying done.

Ten AM came and went with no maintenance man in sight so I called the front desk and asked them if I needed to be here while he fixed it, they said no. I was only slightly annoyed that I was beginning my day later than I had planned but, shxt happens and I still had the whole day ahead of me so no big deal - nothing is fucked.

The prices out here are crazy and every grab off the shelves made me sick thinking about the total cost going up. Shockingly, the laundry items were cheaper than I expected and I was grateful for it. Typically, I don't purchase items like that at grocery stores, as the cost is much higher.

When I returned, the heater was fixed and I filled up my mini fridge. Things were moving swimmingly until I realized I did not have a working battery for one of my devices. I managed to find a store with a cheap one thankfully - but there those dollar signs were again. I do want to clarify that I am not in a pinching pennies situation, however, as a government employee, the shutdown would effect my paycheck and to make sure all will continue being taken care of, I've been extra cautious about spending.

Unfortunately, all of this pushed into what would have been my gym time and I moved onto the next items on the list that I needed to take care of. I cracked open a black berry cider, made some turkey sliders and popped open my work laptop to finish enrolling myself and my kiddos onto my insurance.

There it was, an email stating I owe a very unexpected amount to the travel card issued by work. I gathered all of the statement/payment records and the notebook where I keep track of all my purchases and payments.

**Side note - there's a store in Boston called Muji and it was like stationary heaven to me. Other writers get it. Pens, planners, and these notebooks that hit like butter to my brain and I just cannot get enough. I have about a dozen of their notebooks, I would have more but I gifted my children and a couple friends with one their own. Giving the gift of a space for their thoughts <3 Just to reiterate, Muji, in Boston, chefs kiss.

**continuing..

I realized that when I made the discovery of these notebooks, I transferred over my bills/finances from old spiral notebook of lesser quality. Best decision ever, or so I thought. Normally I make sure to copy all the past entries so that I have no need to refer back to the old books but for whatever reason I did not do that this time. I was shxt out of luck and I was not going to be able to cross check my records with theirs. Its fine, I assured myself, just another change in plans today, I am going to audit the bit myself from day one, starting from May 24th. The new notebook begins in August so I figured, easy peezy. All is well, nothing is fxcked and I'll figure it out.

I finished out May and June expenses and prepared myself to compare mine to theirs - except, when I went to do so, I see that the earliest payment was in early July and I paid a couple hundred short of the actual amount I should have paid. There it was, the beginning of my spiral.

What did I do? How did I miss that many expenses when I reviewed them in June? How could I be that stupid? This is basic fxcking math - you fuxcking idiot. There you going being the cause of your bullshxt again. What were you thinking?! I can only imagine what the rest of the months look like. You probably owe the whole amount and more you fxcking idiot. How do you expect to make the next move for the kids if you can't even get your fxcking math right?! Math they could do. You call yourself a mother. You're just one fxck up after the other. It sickening the way they deserve better and they ended up with you.

Writing this out is troublesome because I sound really mean to myself. Sounds like a lot but in that moment, the glimmer of light I had began the day with was gone and I was once again the worthless waste of space again that can't do anything right.

I made a payment towards the card, closed my laptop, shut the lights off and turned on a random movie on Netflix. I sank into my bed telling myself it was okay and I'd be able to figure this out, Afterall, I've been through much worse than this, right? The gentle voice that I'd been working on was backed into a corner, the winds from the spiral holding her down. Numbers and images of the kids swirling around, slapping her around and making sure she stayed down, quiet. No, you don't get to talk yourself up for this one, stupid. So fxcking undeserving. You have one job and you're failing.

The movie came and went, unamused, I clicked play for the next distraction to begin. Didn't make it to the gym, didn't read, didn't blog... more than half my day gone, wasted. It brought me even lower. A few silent tears made their way to my pillow case, in those moments I focused even harder on the movies. This shapeless, colorless, invisible feeling was pulling me down deeper and deeper.

A knock at the door came, it was my new friend. She said she wanted to check on me before going to her room. I hadn't mentioned to her how I was feeling but in that moment, it didn't matter how she knew, I was being pulled back up for air and I wasn't going to fight it. I explained a little bit about the email and my discovery. She said, "you hungry?" I said yes and she gave me 30 minutes to get ready.

Dinner was nice, we spoke about football and the food in front of us. We remained present in that moment and that allowed my gentler self to get up and say it once more, it's going to be okay.

Depression doesn't work that way though, does it? As the book calls us "saddies", y'all get it, the saddies get it.

I played trivia with my babies until I couldn't see my phone screen straight anymore and then I fell asleep, hard. I'm not sure what startled me up this morning but I knew it was going to be a day of convincing myself to get out of bed. Don't worry, I made it out - lucky for me, feeling my body fat rolling around in bed is enough to disgust myself and I got up to prep for the gym. But first, my coffee.

While sipping on my coffee and scrolling through the social scene, I ran into memory lane. A video of my oldest saying good bye to her little brother, it was the first day of kinder. From behind the camera, I ask her if she's going to miss her brother - its quick and easy to miss, but I spotted it just then. A breath in, glossy eyed and a clenched jaw you can barely see because her cheeks are so round, a breath out, she nods and says "yeah". Her little brother looks to her with puckered fish lips for a kiss and they say good bye. The video ends there but the memory continues to play out...hand in hand, we begin walking towards her classroom. I ask her if she's ready, her expression scrunches into her serious face and her hand goes a little tighter. "Yes." she says it with conviction. I ask her if she's nervous, the scrunch gets tighter, so does her little hand. "No." I said okay, and gave promises of a fun day. I knew she was nervous, I could see the battle being fought in her eyes. She fought hard to keep that courage on her face and I wasn't going to let her know that I knew it was all a facade. I would never let her know that she didn't really succeed in hiding her fears, she needed to know she won that battle so that she would feel ready to take on what was up ahead. I held my own tears back that day because I needed her to know that I knew she had everything she needed to win that day. My tears would singlehandedly ensure that we would both lose the inner battles.

There was no gym today. I gave myself some grace and rested from the battle I have been fighting for so long. The wars that go for years hit different you know? My babies are strong for me, and I have to be too, for them. So this entry is serving as evidence I did SOMETHING today, even if it was more for healing purposes than productivity.

[refriedrambles]

Coming back up here cause I wasn't planning on hard gushing about Manhwa when I started writing but I went off. I was planning on just going over some of the plans for the day. You have been forewarned

I'm finding some really good manhwa. like holy shit dude. Maybe I need to look for that side of tumblr

Notable ones: World's Greatest Senior Disciple (great art, story and characters), Infinite Mage (not even through the first chapter but so far great art and introduction execution)

The art in the first one reminds me so much of avatar dude. The fl has Azula's fucking face, but is so expressive, passionate and funny. MC and fl are both really smart, dumb and stupidly stubborn. It's a very tightly laced story. Each thread pulled reveals things that are or will be relevant later. It's a fucking mystery. I didn't realize I was jumping into a mystery last night and I was fucking hooked by the time it clicked. (I do like mysteries I just don't tend to seek them out)

Starts out with this martial clan getting their shit wrecked by loan sharks. MC shows up after being assumed killed in action during the war two years ago right as the sharks are trying to cut the youngest's arm off and destroys them. Something happened in those two years and he got ridiculously strong because of it, but he's pretty tight lipped about it and is far more focus on whatever is going on in the region. The war is over, the demon dead, and yet the land seems lawless upon his return and one of his brothers are missing

MC (or very very likely MC) in the second is incredibly one track minded and very obviously a reincarnator, but isn't introduced in that first person 'oh I died some how and woke up in a baby's body in an other world' bit that starts off most of these stories. (I don't necessarily dislike the bit, but only a few stories handle it well. Mushoku Tensei is probably the best with this. Most of them feel rather clunky, but I'm isekai trash so meh) And that bit very likely happened to our likely MC, but that's not how the story is introduced. Hell MC ain't our intro character. It's his hunter dad. Hears a baby crying in the dead of night, is suspicious cause a baby/ family getting past all the traps he set up on his land isn't possible and grabs an axe to check it out. He makes a comment about him and his wife not being able to have kids and then he immediately finds this baby. No explaination how it got there, why it's alone and he's practically glowing

Think these two might be up there with Trash of the Count's Family for me. They're probably better written, but I'm a simp for Cale and it's still some amazing writing. (It's gotta be for me to binge 610 chapters of a webnovel for a few days straight after reading the first few manhwa chapters.)

Aaannnyway gonna get back to drawing today. I was in a pretty nasty funk yesterday(went away after did some dishes and found a comic to read. It was difficult to find something that piqued my interest since most of what I was finding was stuff I've already read or just didn't appeal to me). I'm doing much better now!

I started little flash cards for the characters in Being Fired yesterday and am thinking maybe I should change how I'm approaching writing it? Switch to a script cause I'm overwhelming tempted to just make this project a comic. (I basically decided to do that when I committed to the group shot and started doing all those warm up, but was afraid to admit that to myself.) I've tried writing scripts before but didn't know what I was doing, but maybe actively drawing shit relating towards it and distancing myself more from describing actions will help? Idk idk, but Imma try. It's the only fic I've gotten fully out lined so far and I think I got a better chance at drawing it rather then writing it

Gonna draw Red more for the warm up probably. Might fuck with the sketches from the last warm up cause his head is just so off and I don't want those in the ref file like that

Then back to the groupshot finish that up and maybe start sketching Zim and the Tallest? Might switch to forcing myself to work on backgrounds for a while instead. Also might need to start blocking out time for stuff since I'm not really hitting shit on my list. Either way I wanna work on writing and drawing on the same days some times instead of focusing fully on one or the other

Gotta keep thing going. There doesn't need to be alot of energy going into things at once as long as it's consistent

[charmybeeble]

I have been under anesthesia multiple times in my life, and every single one of them is an adventure

first time I was 14, had a very bad throat infection caused by some nasty bacteria, which eventually caused me to have a serie of not so funny side effects, which my body kept on fighting furiously. So I was tubed to a catheter all the time to have my medication. HOWEVER. my body being in full fight mode, decided that the tube going in my veins was EVIL and that it must be THROWN OFF my arm. So my immune system decided it was a good idea to build a sort of skin INSIDE the tube to prevent any liquid from entering. Obviously its a little fucked up. So The nurses came to help my sorry ass from my own immune system. They give me the anesthetic mask, and reassured me about the whole thing. now, I wasn't seeing straight. I don't know if I hallucinated or if my sight became awful because of the anesthetic gaz, but either way I had started to see 5 nurses when they were 3. Probably said some crazy nonsense during the whole thing. Should I add that I was breathing the gaz so much that I ended up breathing in more gaz than the machine was producing? that the nurses never saw anybody breathe so aggressively while dying of laughter? I came back to my senses crying from laughter

Second notable time was when I was taking my wisdom teeth out. this time they pumped the liquid in with a classic syringue. I was sitting on the table peacefully, totally chill. The nurse goes "the anesthesic should be working now. Do you feel anything?" I remember thinking for a second, because no I was clearly not feeling any tiredness or exhaustion or anything. I answer, solid "no". The exact MOMENT I finish my sentence I black out.

now, this isn't over yet. when I woke up from surgery, after taking a long time to collect myself, a nurse came over to see if I was okay. She was talking to me in this language I couldn't understand. obviously since I wasn't answering, she left and went to bring others to check up on me. I started to question everything, where am I? who are these people? why dont they talk in a language I understand??

When they came back, it was the same thing all over again, couldn't understand a word they spoke. I was thinking as hard as I could in the state I was in. I start to notice "hey... I recognize this word, it feels familiar". and then, all of a sudden it hits me like a truck "wait I AM french!!" Suddenly, everything they said made sense.

I had apparently forgotten I was french and was thinking in english like I would dream in english from time to time. My brain just mistook reality as a dream probably??

[justoutsideofdoncaster]

Blog #3

Todays hangover wasn't nearly as bad as yesterdays. I can't believe I went out again. It was a really good night out though, no matter what the hangxiety says.

I remember when we all finally got inside and met with the others, just standing and smiling and watching all these idiots dance and sing and yell and jump on each other and I felt so so happy. I'm so much closer to my team now then I've ever been before.

He obviously wouldn't stop staring at me, so much so that one of the girls came up and said that he was - I told her I knew. It's strange, he's so sweet and shy and awkward and then he gets drunk and all he does is stare at me all night with those big stupid puppy eyes.

I do love having a crush, but of course I haven't done anything about it. I've always been that way. It's hard for me to believe anyone could look at me like that, so I'm just waiting for the inevitable moment when they snap out of it. When they see me for who I truly am, not some romanticised version. I've never felt good enough to be someones girlfriend. It's largely the asexual . I can't give them enough of myself, or I won't, and I know that when they find this out they'll no longer be interested. And I know there are plenty of asexual boys out there, but for now I have a crush on a boy who could never date me. So that's why I stand, under the strobe lights and the fog machines and the confetti and the music and all of it, and I do nothing. We share a shit eating grin and everyone holds their breath waiting for one of us to move, and he doesn't because he's shy and unsure and I don't because what? I move forward and then what? I pretend I want to kiss him? No I won't do that. I'm willing to spend my entire life alone rather than pretending to be something I'm not for the sake of some man.

I woke up to four deleted messages from him. He could have any girl on the team but he's picked me and I think it's probably driving him crazy.

Anyway, that whole low self esteem - i'm gonna die alone - asexual fuelled self hatred crap can be unpacked in another blog.

I watched some lectures and had some food (guac on toast for dinner, vegan burger with fried egg and mushrooms for tea), and went in to the studio for like four hours. Managed to kick out an entire painting, which is pretty baller especially considering I felt nauseous the entire time. I also planned on going to the gym today, but the hangxiety is telling me to stay in my room. I've not been to the gym in weeks which sucks, but I honestly don't think I'm gonna go tonight.

Also, meal wise, ate really well today! Don't feel guilty either really, although maybe it's because last night I got KFC and then proceeded to throw it all up... so... not my best moment.

Small side rant: My flatmates were pissing me off today. I've been out two nights in a row, which yes I did drink a lot the first night but that's still just two nights, and they're acting like I'm crazy or pathetic or something. Writing this I know I sound paranoid and I know it's not that deep but idk, both of them have specific quirks that are just rude and nasty and it always makes me feel bad. Little comments and looks. It annoys me so much because they both like to act so caring to others, but it feels like I'm the only one who actually gives a shit about others feelings, more than myself, enough to put their feelings before mine. Just basic functioning adult stuff. It's always the people who call themselves empaths or people pleasers that are actually the hardest to be around. Only one more year though, and then I'm free from living with crazy people. Deep breaths.

Anyway, here's a painting I'm currently in love with by Jennifer Packer (2012-2017). That blue is just beautiful. I've been using a lot of Ultramarine at the minute.

Bye