#And im even forgetting the names of like musicians I like yesterday I got so distressed because I forgot phil lynotts last name like it just

[mellotronmkll]

My memory is so bad lately I literally can't remember anything and I keep literally forgetting words like the names of things

[melancholy-queen]

okay, so while i was listening to the album, i knew what the songs were about from interviews and other info 5sos had released from promo. HOWEVER, despite some being a little bit of a stretch, i think that all of the songs can be listened to in a way that makes them about the tumultuous relationship 5SOS has had with the music industry throughout their career, rather than just romantic love

these are all my opinions, and this was just for some fun! anyway, stream calm 

track by track justifications 

album title (C A L M): this is them going back to their 2014 roots and paying homage to the fans who have followed their musical journey, and continue to today

red desert: an homage to australia and their love for home. they always talk about how going back rejuvenates them 

“red, red desert, heal our blues”

no shame: the alluring qualities of the music industry. fame comes with ego boosting and giving into the more superficial aspects of being a celebrity

“never enough and no satisfaction / got no shame / i love the way you’re screaming my name”

old me: the most obvious tribute to their younger selves. they got so much freedom while being so young and the growing process was painful and on full display for their whole fanbase, but they want to move forward with their lives, but not forget the past, while also not be tied down to it

“shout out to the old me and / everything you showed me / had to fuck it up before i let you get / to know me”

easier: this could be about picking whether to continue on the path to being musicians or giving up. the chorus could be the internal dilemma of trying to decide. three of the boys dropped out of high school to make their music careers work, which is no doubt a tough choice, especially if they failed

“the hardest part of all / is that we’re only built to fall”

teeth: i think this could be about the uncertainty within the music industry. there are so many empty promises that are made by executives and higher ups that fall through, who do not even feel bad about crushing younger artists’ dreams. this could be reflecting on getting so close to success only for someone with power to strip that away from you and the pain, as well as adrenaline that comes from that.

“fight so dirty, but you love so sweet / talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth”

wildflower: for me, this was the hardest one to justify because it is very overtly about sex. symbolically, it could be the euphoric nature of achieving stardom and success through the music industry

“you know you are my favorite fantasy / a fatal love song”

best years: again, this one is clearly about a relationship, but in a more abstract sense, it could be about reflecting on giving your youth to being famous. in many ways, the boys had to grow up at a faster rate than other people. they are saying that they know the sacrifices, but are fully willing to give themselves to the music, which will turn out to be some of the best years, and memories, of their lives 

“you’ve got a million reasons to hesitate / but darling, the future’s better than yesterday”

not in the same way: they have faced some backlash for their work or actions, so i think it shows the ups and downs of having a fanbase. they want to please the fans, but they also want to become adults and not be held down to their behavior of when they first started

“im wakin up to my mistakes again / i know you love to point them out”

lover of mine: while this is also about romantic love, i think it could also be about romantic love of their job. it feels like an impassioned love letter to being able to successfully create and produce works of art. they continue making music because they are in love with the act of creating

“when i take a look at my life and all of my crimes / you’re the only thing that i think i got right”

thin white lies: this could also be about the elusive nature of the music industry. it could be about getting wrapped up in the fame and not recognizing who you are anymore because you are basing your personality around the one that the media created for you, and you feel an obligation to live up to it

“watch me as i disappear / these empty sounds and endless stories / so tell me what i wanna hear”

lonely heart: this could be about the loneliness that is created from being famous. letting people down can create this, which i think is the overarching theme of this song. it could be about the people in their lives leaving them because of the lifestyle they live

“our house on fire, we’re burnin / we dance inside, you're hurtin”

high: this could be the product of lonely heart, where they lost the person due to the high demand of their job, but they cannot stop thinking of them. more broadly, it could be about losing fans because the fandom has created such a built up image in their head of who 5sos is that the boys are worried about disappointing. the inner turmoil between wanting to be who you are and wanting to satisfy fans is key here

“i know ill never meet your expectations / but the picture that you paint of me / looks better in your mind”

kill my time (bonus): also about romantic love, it could be about the fame that comes with music. the “wildflower, fingertips” might be about the seduction of the benefits of being famous. while they do love other things, fame, for all its good and bad, is a clear love of theirs.

“you’re the only one that makes me feel alive / i cant keep drowning in the shadows”

sorry this is so long!

[virryth]

Prince!AU Johnny

Johnny came home ;; #WelcomeHomeJohnny

1835 words | Fluff

Where the prince sneaks out to be come a street musician, not knowing an assassin was on his tail

2nd prince of the dynasty, knows it’s not his responsibility to be king so tend to eff around a lot (but like not actually effing anyone)

the only one in the family with the same mother as the crown prince, but vibes so much better with his younger bros: Mark, Doyoung, and Jaehyun

he’s responsible enough to lead an army and has been entrusted with the title of General the last time the country went to war, but due to war PTSD he decided it wasn’t a life for him–prince Youngho is a pacifist

Prince Yuta however loves the art of war so he took over. When Yuta left for battle Youngho gave him a handkerchief and cried while wishing him good luck

Youngho: come back to me my prince

Yuta and Mak: bro ur embarrassing

likes the art of tea, often has tea party and invites all the local maids and courtesans to have tea with him.

To others it looks like a harem but prince Youngho knows how hard they work and how rare it is for them to just sit and have some time for themselves, so forget what everyone thinks as long as he’s doing his job as a good master to them

a true romantic, loves poetry and a genius at gayageum (12-strings instrument, similar: the Chinese guzheng, the Japanese koto, the Mongolian yatga, and the Vietnamese đàn tranh)

all the girls love lining up outside his open chamber to listen to him play at sunset

even the male servants and soldiers sometimes come to see him play because he’s just that good, the emotion he delivers varies from soft melodic lullaby to vibrantly dynamic compositions

Prince Doyoung: maybe you’re better than me at one thing

he doesn’t play outside the castle!! because he’s afraid he’s gonna get caught, followed, or hunted by assassins since the country has a lot of enemies

But prince Youngho loves sneaking out with prince Jaehyun whenever their distant cousin from neighboring kingdom Ten comes to visit.

The first time was for fun. He plays the gayageum in a disguise named Johnny, out in a small public space, and he got so immersed that by the time he was done there was already a crowd gathering

and he loves the feeling of anonymity so much he keeps sneaking out even when his cousin wasn’t visiting

you were hired by the mother of one of the younger princes to assassinate Prince Youngho. You’re a pay-by-the-job kinda assassin and you just take the information from an anonymous bidder and carry out your job so you really don’t know who your real employer is, and they don’t know your face or anything either.

You were given the assignment to kill Prince Youngho, a pity really, you heard he was a good-natured man with no vie for the throne, but a job is a job and you figured once you get into the castle you’ll probably hear some bad things about him anyway, and maybe what he looks like you honestly have no idea since you were never given an assignment to kill royalty of THIS country before

this is the first time you’ve been in this kingdom tbh, but you made a friend already! the guy called Johnny that plays the gayageum first spoke to you after you spaced out listening to him play, and you offered to pay him bc street musicians have it hard ya know just playing day by day for a meal

and he graciously took the money but used it to buy you both food, which you were surprised by

Johnny was your first friend and throughout your time with him you really didn’t want to lie about why you were in town, but no one wants to be friend with an assassin

until one day on one of your scouting of the castle, you bumped into Johnny!

and you definitely notice how he was dressed in the finest silk robe of all the lands, even if he looks like he’s wearing chamber garment and taking a night stroll before bed

“Hey what a pleasant surprise! although not really, what are you doing here?” he inquired after pulling you over to a blind spot from the guards

you didn’t want to lie to Johnny again, but you didn’t know how to react after finding out that he was, in fact, probably someone of royalty seeing as he’s in the castle wearing very expensive robe in the middle of the night

but you couldn’t, he was definitely Johnny as he recognizes you, he was your friend, and royalty or not, you couldn’t do that

“Johnny listen, you need to get as far away from here as possible 3 nights from now. I’m… I’m telling you this since I trust you with my life.”

Johnny: okay thanks but what why?

but you don’t get to explain further because a guard was approaching and you escaped when Johnny turned around to distract them

the next 3 days you don’t see Johnny. he missed his weekly playing at the public square and you really don’t know why, he’s never done this for the past 2 months you’ve known him

on D-day aka the day you’re supposed to kill prince Youngho

you still don’t know how the heck the man looks like because the one infiltration to find out his face was interrupted by your friend Johnny, who may or may not possibly be a prince and brother of your target. The thought that you’ll have to kill one of his brothers kinda hurt you, but if he’d listened to your warning, he should be far away from the castle tonight

from the intel you gather, Prince Youngho is usually alone in his chamber on one specific day of the week (today), and you know where his chamber is so you made your way towards there, patiently waiting for the wee hour so you can take him out

what you don’t expect is Johnny’s friend Jeffrey to show up

he was accompanied by another person in robe, someone he called Doyoung, also strikingly handsome like the rest of the people in this castle apparently. Goddamn you really hit the jackpot with meeting all the princes did ya

Doyoung: this is ginseng tea, remember to make him drink it all, Youngho said he’s been getting these weird heartburns lately that won’t go away

Jeffrey: don’t worry I’ll force it down his throat if he doesn’t hehe

Doyoung: Jaehyun.

Jeffrey/Jaehyun: i’m kidding

oh no… oh man.. you really liked Jeffrey you rEALLY do he gets all your memes! but if he is indeed prince Jaehyun, then intel has it he was very close with prince Youngho :( oh no he’s going to be so devastated..

you’re getting sad on the job which is very unlike you.. But you know this is what happens when you try to get close to people as assassin. it hurts.

but what hurts the most is the voice that calls out to Jeffrey and prince Doyoung

prince Youngho emerged from his chamber.

You feel like the world fell upon you, heavier than when you were eight and thrown out of the house by your foster family because you didn’t “belong,” heavier than the boulder your master dropped on your shoulder when you were twelve and called it “mental training,” heavier and more painful than when Johnny smiled and you know it was a smile reserved solely for you

the shock hit you harder than it should, and as you tried to cope with the reality that you would have to kill Johnny, you lost your bearing on the roof and fell

Doyoung, stepping in front of Jaehyun: did you hear that?

Jaehyun: yes, but hyung why do you have a sword strapped to your waist we’re in nightgowns?

Youngho: call the guard, we may have intruders

Jaehyun: hey… isn’t that… someone we know? Hyung look

You got up as fast as you fell and tried to flee, but Youngho was faster, and soon he was close enough to grab your arm before you got the chance to escape

Doyoung, sword drawn across your throat: who are you?

Jaehyun: hyung relax, it’s our friend

you don’t know what to make of that but for now you gotta go, can’t risk another prince see your face good god you’re a terrible assassin

So as Youngho released your arms, you bolted into the shadows and parkour your way out of the castle

the next day you see Johnny at the same public space where he performs, except it’s not one of his performing day and he’s just there in disguise

and Jeffrey nowhere in sight but next to him is prince Doyoung, the scarier prince you’ve come to meet yesterday

Johnny: hey! glad you’re here, this is um.. you know who he is but call him Charlie

Doyoung eyes you suspiciously before turning back to Johnny: can’t believe we’re talking to an assassin that was sent to kill you.

Doyoung was right. You don’t know what to say because there’s nothing to say. Your relationship or friendship whatever it was has ended and you were sure this is the supposed goodbye before you take off. It was nice, albeit awkward, but less awkward thanks to a third person being there, but you weren’t used to goodbye. The life of an assassin didn’t permit you any goodbyes.

Johnny: Charlie im only taking you with me because you were worried for my safety. Now that we’ve established that, please go entertain yourself at the market. Jeffrey and Jason are waiting for you (Jason = Jeno)

Johnny, after Doyoung skedaddled: work for me.

you: what

Johnny: look, i know you were hired to assassinate me, but i don’t care. work for me or just stay here, don’t leave or.. or i will search the world to find you

You, an awk at emotions: ….dude can you even leave the castle as the prince? like?

Johnny: okay sHUT UP we do have strict rules regarding that but my pOINT IS. I like you, stay with me.

His words were sincere, there’s not a hint of sarcasm in his voice, and no one has ever said something like this to you–especially not after you tried to kill them. You didn’t think you deserve Johnny or the idea of having a life where you can settle down.. but as you look at him, look at the sincerity and purity in his eyes, you know he meant it.

you nodded right before he pulled you to an embrace and attempted to swing you around

Jeno: ah look there’s Young—Johnny hyung!

Doyoung: don’t run Jason hold my hand

Youngho, under his breath: damn that Doyoung always showing up at the most crucial moment

you laughed as he lets you go, but not before promising him that you’ll stay, as a regular village girl or as his new employee, you’ll stay in the kingdom for him

[multiple-nerdery]

all other asks pls

1. selfie no2. what would you name your future kids? i dont know i dont know i might not even have kids3. do you miss anyone? yes. my crush. lots of friends. etc.4. what are you looking forward to? i am going to go eat a brownie once i’ve answered these5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? i mean. my friends. especially camilla, who is my best friend6. is it hard for you to get over someone? yes!7. what was your life like last year? more depression, but tons less drama8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? yesyesyes9. who did you last see in person? i mean. I was at robotics so... people at robotics10. are you good at hiding your feelings? NO11. are you listening to music right now? nah i’m watching supergirl12. what is something you want right now? yeah once specific friend to talk to13. how do you feel right now? i mean, i am a little tired from a shIte tonne of cleaning™™™14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? i mean... opposite sex? but like I got a hug yesterday from a friend16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? oh my go d yes so many of them just a whole bunch of a people17. opinion on insecurities. i have a lot of them. i’ll try to help my friends with them18. do you miss how things were a year ago? ehhh. theyre very similar. i had the same crush so... idk.19. have you ever been to New York? YES20. what is your favourite song at the moment? J-Hø from the Block by Kairos 4tet21. age and birthday? 18 and in September but guys like I’m not putting my exact birthday out there my friends know.23. fear(s) mostly death and other death related things24. height 6′2″ ish25. role model briane greene. richard feynman. my friends26. idol(s) the above27. things i hate nazis28. i’ll love you if… youre cute n nice to me29. favourite film(s) Inside Llewyn Davis.30. favourite tv show(s) RN I like House and Supergirl and Trollhunters and always Miraculous Ladybug.31. 3 random facts i sell old books for money, i like to play jazz music, and i think donald is a nazi32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? girls but theres a lot of guys in there too and some nonbinary pals33. something you want to learn russian34. most embarrassing moment trying to be nice to someone who tried to sabotage me to creat drama for no reason three whole times35. favourite subject math36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? physics professor, musician, writer37. favourite actor/actress i like a lot of them but oscar isaac is a star38. favourite comedian(s) i like trevor noah39. favourite sport(s) hockey n karate40. favourite memory ooh shit theyre mostly related to crushes so no not sharing any of those stories44. age you get mistaken for whatever age lets people think i work everywhere I’m shopping45. how you found out about your idol autobiography. physics book. friendships46. what my last text message says “sorry i didn’t see this till now what?” in reference to my mother saying hello child47. turn ons cute people wanting to kiss me48. turn offs bigotry49. where i want to be right now idk dude50. favourite picture of your idol i have so many idols and i don’t go researching pictures of them dude51. starsign virgo52. something i’m talented at being gay n music53. 5 things that make me happy friends, music, good entertainment, cleaning, fellow gays.54. something thats worrying me at the moment my friend is havin a hard time55. tumblr friends im not tagging any of them because i don’t want to accidentally insult someone by forgetting them i’m sorry im a memory klutz56. favourite food(s) chrizo is big fr me57. favourite animal(s) cats n dogs58. description of my best friend she’s so cool n she’s an artist and a model and legit the coolest person n she’s very gay n has great hair and is a very fuken interesting person i love her so much she’s such a sweetie59. why i joined tumblr my then boyfriend had one an i was all like... okie60. ask me anything you want AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION!

[jdrespling]

Headbangers Con Survival Guide

What’s shakin folks? Anthony here again with another killer review coming to you from the FIRST EVER HEADBANGERS CON. Did you say Con? Yes, that is not a misprint. On the evening of November 9th Chris 51 and his crew of metal heads hit the Bossanova Ballroom with one thing on their minds…..METAL. Not only was it successful, but this guy is still feeling the high of being in a room with so many great musicians and people. Never in my existence did I ever think idbe chatting with some of the industry’s leading musicians and some of the greats as well. People like David Ellefson, Dirk Verbeuren from MEGADEATH! Aaron Patrick from All That Remains, Carla & Heidi of the Butcher Babies, Morgan Rose of Sevendust, Corey Glover from Living Color and of course we can not forget our gracious host Chris 51.

 You know though for my first time having the pleasure to doing an event like this it went amazingly well. So as the night started to wind down we got a performance from the one and ONLY STRYPER! Man, these guys can still kick a beat and hold their own. Tonight, will always be one of the greatest nights of my life. One of my favorite moments about tonight. I look over in the corner because I was looking around for shots and photo ops, and I noticed Dirk Verbeuren with his head down and drawing on something, so I wanted to be nosy and walked over and started talking to this lovely young woman named Elizabeth Engel from a non-profit organization called RYFO. They help struggling musicians. She had asked Dirk to draw her a T-Shirt design for her organization and he didn’t even hesitate and did it on the spot. That totally blew me away, here he is supposed to be partaking on the festivities but decides to help this organization out. I got fucking goose bumps. Don’t believe me see the pics. Dirk again you are a hell of a drummer and human being, thank you. But I also believe that tonight I was apart of METAL HISTORY! When im wheeling my old ass in a wheelchair going to the 25th annual Headbangers con and its my 25th then I will reference this article and I will rest my case! so tonight I say good day and ill have more tomorrow

Sometimes you can’t help but be a bit giddy. Start to ask yourself who are you going to meet today? What am I going to do? First I’m going to sit in and hear some stories from Eddie Ojeda of Twisted Sister. Did you know that when Twisted Sister first got signed not only were they signed to a UK label, but people thought they were from Europe? Wow, I had no idea. Also, Eddie has a line of Twisted Hot Sauces, that are amazing, so I bought three. I walked around and went over to the exhibit hall to check out the merch booths.  Then I went back for the Butcher Babies Heidi and Carla. I bet you didn’t know that one of Heidi’s influences is Slipknot well specifically Corey Taylor and her favorite song is the New National Fucking Anthem SURFACING!!! One of my personal favorites as well. Then Carla is a grief counselor and she is a big fan of the immortal PANTERA! As the day wrapped up from elbowing with Rock Gods, Chris 51 had some special entertainment planned. Hyro The Hero and Soil. To be honest I think Portland is still ringing from that show. As you go to a Con or an event that spans over a couple days you can’t help but wonder what you missed or what you lucked out of. Between panels and signing’s, it can be overwhelming. So, I suggest you find a map or the list of events and plan your weekend. Sunday was here and well I didn’t want it to end, its like that favorite moment that you want to live over and over again. Today I was going to sit in on the Burton C Bell panel well because I like Fear Factory. Jose Mangin our host took the stage. I learned a lot about Burton and Fear Factory. Did you know that their name was taken from a Demo tape they got in Europe? One of their first gigs was in a back yard and Dino kept getting shocked because they weren’t grounded properly. Then we sang Happy Birthday to the one and only David Ellefson. As the day closes and the con is packing up you can’t help but feel saddened and a bit down. So, I got to get a book signed by David Ellefson, and I got a post card signed by Derek Riggs the creator of Iron Maiden’s Eddie. Plus, I don’t know if you all know this, but I am a huge star wars nut and bought a really cool book. I wanted to also see what some of these great artists had to say about headbangers con.

Carla Harvey (Butcher Babies)

EE: Just out of curiosity would you do another Headbangers Con

Carla: Oh of course its been a blast it’s very impressive for the first year for the first Head Bangers Con. I think these kind of things should be a staple everywhere around the country don’t you?

EE: I totally agree

EE: Now, would you change anything?

Carla: Would I change anything, I think this is a great example of what a Head Bangers con should be. There’s nothing that I would change, really nothing. There are so many great people here, the fans have all been awesome and the vendors as well. Maybe have them all in one room so we don’t have to walk around as much.

EE: Was it overwhelming to be in the room with so many of the greats like Burton C Bell, David Ellefson?

Carla: WE have been lucky enough to be in the business for over a decade now and a lot of these people we idolized in our youth have become friends over the years, this is more like a family reunion than anything.

EE: Now I have one important question for you sir, would you attend another Head Bangers Con?  (Ron Keel)

RK: I would do it in a heartbeat this has been a fantastic event I’m really glad to be apart of it, and um we have made some new friends seen some old friends and just keep this thing going if Chris Fitty One wants me back for Con number 2 ill be there!

EE: Are you having a good time?

RK: I am absolutely having a blast loving the Rock Star treatment. And a great event for the fans and artists as well!

Nathan Hunt (Shamans Harvest)

EE: how are you doing this morning?

NH: Well I need a lot of coffee especially after last night….

EE: I bet its been a wild weekend.

EE: So the major question is would you do another Head Bangers Con?

NH: Fuck yeah!

EE: Tell me a little bit about your experience this weekend?

NH: Anytime your around like-minded people you know that passion for music it’s always going to be a good weekend.

EE: does it feel like a family reunion?

NH: yes its definitely got that family reunion vibe we all got fucked up Friday, and I chilled yesterday and ordered pizza.

EE: Are you having a good time?

NH: Most definitely I am, learning a lot of shit, with Jose on the stage grinding away.

Davey Grahs (POP EVIL)

EE: The million dollar question is, would you be apart of another Head Bangers Con?

DG: OH Hell yeah, hell yeah this has been great!

EE: What is your thoughts on the concept of having a con for metal heads like us?

DG: I love it I don’t know why we haven’t had anything like this before or sooner

EE: What’s next for Pop Evil

DG: well we have a Canadian tour kicking off next week, then a US run and end it in Europe.

Dirk Verbeuren (MEGADEATH)

EE: Curious, would you be apart of another Head Bangers Con?

DV: absolutely I would this has been a total blast, and ah I think it will only get better since this is the first edition after all.

EE: Where do you think the next location will be?

DV: I am rooting for Los Angeles because it is closer to my house and I like sleeping in my own bed. Lol no I think L.A would be a be a better place because there are a lot of conventions there and its very busy there is a lot of people in the metal scene that would definitely dig things like this so.

Jose Mangin (Sirius Xm Radio)

EE: So Would you be involved with another Head Bangers Con?

JM: Oh My God of course that is a no brainer, I would never miss something that’s as cool as a gathering of us metal fans and  to able to help be a leader for it, a voice for it, it’s an honor to be here. If I saw one dude wearing a metal shirt that’s all I need, but I see a ton of people with big hearts for metal ill never miss this again.

EE: You have done panels for the last two days, right at this moment what is your favorite so far?

JM: I mean dude, Megadeath is one of my all time favorite bands and just always talking to someone of his stature (David Ellefson) it freaks me out because I have been such a long time fan.

EE: Do you still get the giggles when you do interviews?

JM: Always , Always I never take this job, this position this life I have for granted it’s a huge responsibility. But First and foremost I am a FAN.

EE: One last question What would you tell Chris 51 right now?

JM: Dude, I would say thank you for getting all of us head bangers together. Thank you and lets do it again!

Corey Glover (Living Color)

EE: Would you do another Con like this?

CG: Absolutely in a heartbeat I would do it tomorrow, yeah this is fun this is great.

EE: Do you think this is going to open bigger doors and open people’s eyes?

CG: I do I think that as a band, to connect to your audience and the people who appreciate what you do is hard to do at a show, if your really working you only have about a half an hour to meet and greet your fans but its only hi and that’s it. This I get you talk to people all day and that we don’t get to do on a daily basis. Plus the fans can ask specific questions that you don’t get the opportunity to ask at a meet and greet. It like what kind of pick are you using why did you do this instead of that. That is when I feel more connected to my fans.

Burton C Bell (Fear Factory)

EE: Would you do another metal Con and Why

BB: Yes and because its FUCKING FUN AS HELL!

EE: is there anything that really stood out for you this weekend?

BB: Umm just the Family vibe

EE: I have been hearing that a lot from people

BB: and that’s what this is it’s a celebration of the genre intrinsically even if you are a musician or not.

Then I got to see the new Fear Factory album cover…. He hehe…..

This last weekend was not only the time of my life but I have to say very eye-opening. From all the Vendors like The Star Wars Store, Rogue Toys, Period Panties, Terasyne Amps, ROCKSTAR clothing, Morbid Empire, Metal Yoga, Paradise Harley Davidson, Rose City Vapors, and all the tattoo artists. I can’t forget to mention Toxic Zombie, Cryptamnesia, M.I.R.P,  YesterdazeNews Bob Williams Photography you my friend my hats off. You all made me feel very welcome into the fold and I can not wait to shoot side by side and work with you all again. Plus Jose Mangin from Sirius Xm Radio. Brother never lose that passion, I love listening to you on the radio and enjoyed watching you on stage during the panels.

This weekend couldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for the great works by Chris 51 and Morgan Rose. You two started a domino effect that will hopefully last for generations. You gave the metal fans a place where we can be as one and feel like we are family.

Chris and Morgan, I personally can not thank you enough for showing this world what metal is and is always going to be. I am anxiously waiting for the news of the next one.

So guys that’s all I am going to say, if you missed out on all the wonderful panels, and your favorite artists. I am truly sorry you missed a HEAD BANGING WEEKEND!!

Thanks again for reading and enjoying what I had to say

  Remember Keep it real and keep it METAL!

I’ll catch you on the flipside!

HeadBangers Con Portland 2018 Review Headbangers Con Survival Guide What’s shakin folks? Anthony here again with another killer review coming to you from the FIRST EVER HEADBANGERS CON.

[fxsignal-blog1]

i’m really just writing this for myself about his death bc. this is really the only place it feels okay to post something about it i guess.

i’m still... having a hard time w/ his death but i’m. better than i was for the first two days. i know i wasn’t on here when the news broke (i’m not on here a lot though) but it’s. hard still. worse than a celebrity death has affected me before. i’m okay though atm.

I really love what he stood for. i’m someone who is mentally ill and i’m also a lesbian and like... he was one of the ppl in the kpop industry who’s words were truly a comfort. he lifted up the voices of members of the lgbt community, which is so important, and he was transparent about his own struggles to try to give hope to those in similar situations.

between this event and a personal thing i’ve been dealing with for the past few days it’s been sad and i’ve cried a lot of sad tears, but i’ve found reasons for laughter and happy tears too!

i learned ma-golpy (dash to avoid being found in searches lmao) has made a few songs over the past 2 years!! i thought she just went to total silence after obvious story but she’s done a few ost’s and was on sugar man. it’s not much but as she is an openly lgbt korean musician, it made me really happy to learn that yesterday. it’s super difficult to find information on her but i’m glad she’s out there still, even if it’s just a little

i watched my dad try to type his phone password into the number pad on his phone used for calling people. he had to ask me for help bc he was wondering ‘why is this dash showing up in my password?’ it was funny and made me laugh a lot, more than i thought i’d have been able to so soon

the finale for this season of my favorite tv show was last night and even though the result was disappointing, i got to talk about it with a friend and it was a really nice conversation. i don’t have a lot of friends tbh but last night was... really nice to forget about things for a while through that

i’m not gonna properly spell their name bc i don’t want this to show up in searches that ppl will actually see but: new east is gonna do an ost!! nice. they were my first boy group in kpop and im really proud of what they’ve done this year

anyway... i miss you a lot and love you a lot. you’ve made me proud and i’m gonna try and make you proud, too. you did really well, you did so well.