#And get okay with it. Cos like I can't try to lessen the impact it has on me if I try to avoid acknowledging it at all

[pumpkinland]

Ok ok so regarding my post about why I've been edgier and why its been helping its kind of twofold. So. Billy Corgan right. Polarizing guy. Often described as an asshole, a control freak, generally unpleasant. But also described in recent years as having mellowed out and become a lot more pleasant. This is important

Given his reputation I just feel like The Smashing Pumpkins' music, the majority of which he wrote, which is really angsty and edgy and even described often as "over the top" with how basically woe-is-me it is and just like. Difficult to take seriously. This is also important.

Essentially. I feel like I actually relate to a lot of this and that's not necessarily something I am proud of? But see, for example, the song Zero, as edgy as the lyrics are, I realized I related heavily to it. BUT HERES THE THING. When SOMEONE ELSE is saying it and it's not just a feeling I'm carrying around without giving a name and without actively thinking about it, it sounds TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. It sounds silly. And I feel like being able to see my own feelings projected by someone else helps me to see how ridiculous they are and how silly I look acting and feeling the way I do

BUT. It also tells me that it's a valid way to feel and that there's nothing wrong with me. That I don't need to be fixed. I just need to figure out a way to manage how I am and who I am and make it work but I don't need to change and try to be someone else. So it became a twofold thing of, it snaps me out of feeling sorry for myself because I see how silly and unnecessary it is, but it also kind of like tells me that if I am just a person who feels a lot that's also okay. I just need to not let it overwhelm me to the point of self sabotage. And I can have fun with it too. I can be edgy about and feel my feelings and still be self aware that they're feelings that don't even necessarily have any basis in reality and they don't need to stop me

[lachimolala0713]

And I Still Love You | Chapter I

Summary | He hurt you and yet you still love him. He treat you like nothing yet you still want to stay with him. He loathe you very much and yet you want to please him. What happens when the time comes he might kill you?

Genre | Angst, Drama, Smut

Main Characters | Jungkook x Reader ft. Donghae & Taehyung

Supporting Characters | Eunhyuk & Hoseok

Author's Note | I want to thank my co-ARMY Pied Piper and the future readers of this story!

Your mouth is bleeding from Jungkook's hard slap on your face, your right eye turned purple already because of his punch and your arms had red and purple marks from his strong grip on you.

"I'm sorry!" you plead, "Why are you so stupid?! You stepped on my shoe and now it's dirty!" your husband yelled. "I have an important meeting with a big client today!" he continued and you keep on crying and asking him to forgive you. He smirk and click his tongue and left your house, leaving you in pain.

You and Jungkook are married - arranged marriage. You were together for 3 years. Both your families are wealthy and Jungkook's father wanted his only son to get married as soon as possible for a stronger relationship and future of their business. When Jungkook first saw you he find you very beautiful and suitable to be the future mother of your children someday. Jungkook's dream is to have a family and he saw that with you. He learned to love you and you felt the same way, you get along with each other and when both of you were ready, you made love.

A miracle happened that you never knew. You felt the difference and changes in your body but you ignored it. You thought you were just eating too much that you felt bloated, you were just emotionally stressed due to work and you are used to your period being delayed for months since your menstruation cycle is irregular. Until one day, you went snow skiing by yourself while Jungkook is in business trip. You were enjoying that day because you always love pushing your boundaries.

Until it went too far.

You were going down rapidly, you panicked, you lost your balance and you tripped over rock. You were rolling along the slope very fast and suddenly your abdomen landed on another rock and it caused a massive impact and gave you a tremendous pain which made you scream your lungs out.

You were unconscious when you were rushed to the ER near the location, the nurse got your details and contacted Jungkook. Jungkook cut his business trip and quickly booked a VIP flight to see you. He was worried and anxious. His heart is wrenching from pain by thinking how you were.

Jungkook arrived at the hospital you were in and the attending approached him, "How's my wife, doctor?" Jungkook asked, he's trembling, waiting for the doctor's response. "Your wife is safe, Mr. Jeon." the doctor said, "Oh thank god!" He breathed in relief, until he noticed something’s wrong, the doctor sighed heavily and looked at Jungkook in the eye, "What is it?" Jungkook wondered, "We couldn't save the baby, Mr. Jeon." the doctor finally said. Jungkook was shocked, tears fell from his eyes and he took a moment to absorb the news. "Wait, she's pregnant?" He asked, the doctor nodded, "She's 8 weeks pregnant." The doctor confirmed, "Oh my god!" Jungkook breathed, covering his face with his hands and looking down to hide his pain after hearing the news, "The impact made a severe damage which caused a lot of bleeding. With the severe damage in the tissues and nerves on her abdomen..." The doctor paused, Jungkook looked at the doctor while he's breathing heavily, "I'm afraid she won't be able to have a baby anymore." The doctor said, making Jungkook cry even more.

He can't handle the thought of not having a child with you. A family he's been dreaming to have with you, is now gone.

Jungkook went to the recovery room where you were checked in. You were sleeping soundly, he looked at you, stared at you, his sadness turned into anger. He's frustrated at the situation and at the same time, he's angry at you. He never got the chance to witness your first pregnancy test, your first checkup, your first ultrasound image of the baby. And he will never experience any of those because of your recklessness. He loves you but he can't feel it anymore. All he feels about you now is anger and rage.

The next day, you finally woke up in the hospital bed and you saw Jungkook staring at you intensely. "Jungkook..." You said, you squirmed from the pain because of your sudden movement, and Jungkook is just staring at you, not comforting or helping you from getting up. "What are you-", "You were pregnant." Jungkook cut you off and you were shocked by his cold tone and from what you've just heard. "I-I-I didn't-" you stuttered, "You didn't know?!" Jungkook raised his voice, and you flinched, "How stupid are you?! You didn't felt it?!" He shouted and you were breathing heavily by his reaction, you shook your head giving him a 'No' answer, "You'll never get pregnant because of the accident." And on that moment, tears fell from Jungkook's eyes again. His eyes showed pain, sorrow, sadness and disappointment. "You're a disappointment, Y/N." He said and he left the room.

That's where it all started. Jungkook became cold to you, he always shouts at you, he gets angry at you in small things and for the first time he started to hit you. His anger and rage towards you took over the love he felt for you. You became nothing to him. A nuisance. As much as he wanted to divorce you, he can't. His parents won't let him and same goes for you, for the sake of their businesses your marriage must stand even if it fell apart.

You lost the urge to go to work today but you have to. You get up and fix yourself. You massage your eye with ice to lessen the purple color around it and then you cover it with lots of foundation and concealer. You were about to leave, you received a text message from your sweet older brother, Donghae.

NEMO: How's my sweet sister? Can I visit you at your office today?

Your eyes are getting watery after reading his message. Donghae loves you so much that he's the only one in your family you lean onto. You send him a reply.

Y/N: Of course you can! I can't wait to see you! :)

Donghae arrive at your office, "Hey, there she is!" He greeted happily, "Hey!" You greet him back and he give you a big hug. He let go to take a look at you and he didn’t expect to see those marks on your face, "What happened to you?" He worried, "Nothing." You lied, "Y/N, I know you. You love Jungkook but I can see he doesn't feel the same way to you anymore." Your brother said, he began searching for more bruises on your body, he check your arms, legs, hands and neck. "You could just leave his place and stay married to him if that’s what’s bothering you." Donghae said, "I know." You said, and you can't contain the tears falling from your eyes. "I don't want to leave him, Donghae. I just can't." You break down on your knees on the floor in front of your brother and all he could do is hold you tight. "I'm always here for you." He said, and his voice is so gentle and soothing that it gave you comfort and you hold onto that comfort as your anchor from the pain you're feeling right now.

Your sobs slowly quiet down but Donghae notice you're not moving, he try to wake you but you're not waking up. He lift your face to check up on you, you were pale, your lips are dehydrated and your body temperature is cold.

"Oh my god, Y/N!" Your brother panicked. "Call an ambulance!" He shouted and your executive assistant rush to your office and find you lifeless in your brother's arm, "Hurry!" He said to your executive assistant, and she quickly get a phone call.

The ambulance arrive and they put you on the gurney and they quickly take you to the vehicle. Donghae is by your side inside the vehicle and he hold your hand. "Please hurry." He beg to the medical team and he didn't realize he was crying already just by looking at your current state.

There’s a knock on the door in Jungkook’s office, “Come in.” he’s executive assistant enters his office, “What is it, Hoseok?” Jungkook asked, “It’s your wife, Mr. Jeon.” Hoseok said, Jungkook continue reading the documents he needs to finish and sign for work, he sigh heavily, long silence irritates him. He put down the documents on his desk and look at Hoseok, “What does she want? Can’t you see I’m -” “She’s rushed to the hospital.” Hoseok cut him off, Jungkook wasn’t expecting this kind of news especially he is focusing at work, he swallow thickly, trying to absorb what he just heard, “What did you say?” Jungkook asking Hoseok for clarification. “I received a call from the hospital, that your wife was rushed to the hospital.” Hoseok clarified. Jungkook’s hands are trembling as he took the documents to distract him, “Okay. Thank you. You can go now.” he said and Hoseok leaves his office.

You were sleeping peacefully in the recovery room, Donghae is by your side, watching over you. The doctor comes in, Donghae stands up to talk to the doctor, “Hello, I’m Doctor Lee Hyuk-jae.” the doctor greeted, “Hello, I’m her brother, Donghae. How is she?” your brother asked, “She’s okay now don’t worry.” the doctor reassured, “She experienced hematoma from her bruises. She’s dehydrated and I can tell she’s going in a lot of stress. She’s underweight and from the looks of it, she’s not eating properly.” the doctor explained. Donghae look at you and he’s beginning to worry of your situation at your home with Jungkook. “Doctor, can I talk to you outside?” he gently asked, “Sure.”

Donghae and the doctor are in the hall outside your room, “She has a husband.” Donghae mentioned and he continue, “He beats her like a toy.”, Donghae brush his hair with his hands and sighed heavily, “If this happens again, what will happen to her?” the doctor clear his throat, “With her current state, not just mentally but physically, she might not handle it if the beating gets out of hand.” the doctor said and Donghae nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”

All your brother can think of is to get a lawyer to get a restraining order against your husband, so he can take you home and take care of you. Give you the proper care you need and do his obligation as your brother.

It’s almost evening, Jungkook arrive at the hospital you’re checked in. “I’m looking for patient Jeon Y/N.” the nurse check what room you are in, “May I know your relationship to her?” the nurse asked, “I’m her husband.” Jungkook said, “She’s in room 715.”

Jungkook open the door to your room and he sees you sleeping. He comes to your bedside and sees how peacefully you are resting. The door opens and the nurse enters the room, “Good evening.” the nurse greeted and walks towards you to check your vital signs and breathing, “Um...how is she?” Jungkook asked the nurse, “Right now she’s stable. She just needs a proper rest.” 

“Is her doctor here?” Jungkook asked, “Doctor Lee Hyuk-jae is currently in surgery but I can page him for you. May I know your relationship to his patient so I can address you to him properly?” the nurse asked, “I’m her husband.” Jungkook said. 

Moments after, Doctor Hyuk-jae enters your room. “Good evening, doctor.” your husband greeted, “Good evening.” Doctor Hyuk-jae greeted back, “May I know your concern regarding your wife’s condition?” he asked, “What happened to her?” Jungkook asked while looking at you sleeping, Doctor Hyuk-jae explained to your husband your condition when you arrived at the ER this morning and how your health is affected by stress and depression. 

Jungkook just listened while looking at you and when Doctor Hyuk-jae is finish explaining of what happened to you, tears falls from your husband’s eyes.

That’s it for ‘And I Still Love You’ Chapter One. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it! 

[chaoticallysapphic]

just a scratch

summary: You were always the hero, always the one protecting those around you. So who could be surprised by your honorable death?

a/n: I woke up this morning literally thinking "why not write a death fic," so here you guys go. Here's your Lin fic. I came up with this idea like two days into having this blog and it’s inspired by this art. 

word count: 3k

When you were little your favorite books were those of heroes. Of great adventures and love so profound it would be talked about for centuries to come. The ones now collecting dust on the third to last shelf on your bookcase, the mahogany one situated between your desk and cedar bookcase, is where you place your favorites. 

A recurring theme in them all is self-sacrifice. Loving someone sometimes requires that and you knew if the time ever came, you'd do it all for her. A life without her is not one you could live through, a world without her is dark and full of monsters and crime. Not only would you do it for your own selfish reasons but because she was so important to other people as well. The death of Lin Beifong is the day the heart of Republic City stops beating. 

If you had to choose a way to go, it would be protecting those you love. And if Lin's life was on the line, then you knew it had to be you.

There are a million scares that have happened in the last few years, ever since Korra arrived the number of times you were jumping in front of her was too many to count. After the fourth, after you pushed her aside so Amon would take your bending, she'd all but screamed at you for hours while holding you, scared to let you go. Despite the emptiness seeming to fill you up like a ship sinking, it was worth it. 

After you got it back Lin didn't let you out of her sight for weeks, suddenly you were trailing after her like a lost puppy. You understand her need to have you nearby and you didn't mind, who could mind the company of Lin? 

One night sometime after the eighth time, Lin notices those books on the third to last shelf. She's read one or two and casually asks you how the others end. In your hands is a new one just as heartbreaking and morbid as the others. You don't realize the dots connecting for her whilst you happily ramble on about them, mentioning how you read your first one in the library at the age of seven. 

“I mean it's what you do for love and it's so-” 

“No you stay alive for love so you can live out the rest of your life with them,” her voice is firm as she grips one of those favorites of yours. You frown, slowly closing the one you're currently reading. 

“Well it's not like you'd just do it for anything, it's to protect the one you love.” 

Over the next few years, Lin's heart almost stops a million times as you keep protecting her. She tries to get you to stay in Republic City when she goes off to protect Korra but your stubbornness somehow beats Lin's. 

That break-in at Zaofu solidifies it for you. Lin slips off with Suyin, so they can propel from the ceiling to save Korra. She makes sure you're distracted before sneakily racing off. When you turn around to check on Lin she's gone. She's gone and as you whip your head around to look for her there isn't a trace of where she went. 

You know you're being selfish, that you should push this panic and fear down to help save Korra but you can't. You need to know where she is, people are yelling at you as you continuously turn, hoping to spot her. You don't notice how the combustion bender has turned to you. Your vision is blurring, you need to find her, and little do you know she's watching from above with her heart in her throat as P'li smirks before taking aim. 

The sound her bending makes has you whipping around. Your eyes widen at the bolt of fire shooting towards you, frozen in place. This is not how you want to go down, you’ve had an unhealthy obsession with how you’d leave this world from a young age and this was not it. In the last second before your life ends two arms wrap around your waist as a body slams into you. You fall to the floor with a loud thud and a pained moan as your head smacks against the concrete. The bolt of fire whizzes past the two of you as it burns through a bush. 

The woman above you isn’t Lin. It’s some guard with black hair and a mole under her eye and you can only half make out what she's saying, partially due to the concussion you now suffer from but also from the icy fear that has encased you. Little do either of you know that by Kuvira saving you, your fate has been placed in her hands for another day.

She’s asking if you're okay, by now Lin has saved Korra and the intruders have vanished. She knows your importance to the Beifong family. Kuvira helps pull you up into a sitting position, she watches you wince from the pain, your eyes squeezed shut. There’s a small spot of blood on the ground, and so she checks behind your head and finds a small cut. 

Lin has given Korra to Suyin, bolting to where she sees you hunched over while Kuvira cleans the cut for you. You don’t hear or notice her coming, the only indication is when her arms slip around you as she pulls you against her body so tight it feels like the air is being squeezed out of you. 

“What the fuck was that?” She chokes out between sobs. You slowly wrap your arms around your lover as you suddenly begin to feel tired. 

“I couldn’t find you.” 

After Zaheer when your life quiets down just a smidgen, Lin proposes. She found the ring at a jewelry store in Zaofu the day after you almost died and knew. You become a blubbering mess, it’s entirely unattractive as there’s snot mixing with tears but you rapidly nod as you choke out “yes.” 

A year later you get married and the day is nothing short of a fairy tale. Everything is perfect as you sway to the song with your wife's arms wrapped around your waist. Everyone watches as you both lovingly stare into each other's eyes. Lin thinks that it’ll be calmer now and you’ll be safe. You're her wife and you love her and you're safe. 

You think back on that day often with a fond smile, the cake you smeared across her face and the scowl she sported directly after. How she then cupped your cheeks in her hands, so she could rub the cake off onto you. There are two photo albums worth of photographs from that day and in almost every single one you both stare at each other in this way that feels so intimate. If a stranger took a look they’d be able to tell just how much you loved one another. 

Lin’s been given her happily ever after, those two years that follow are blissful. You open up a bookstore near your apartment, and she forces herself to come home at a reasonable time every night, so she can enjoy your company before you head off to bed. You settle into a routine that neither of you mind, all Lin cares about is that you're safe and you're happy. 

Some people (like Suyin) say it’s almost sickening how much you two love each other but Lin just thinks that’s because she's jealous of not having this kind of heartwarming, never-ending love. Everyone knows her marriage has dulled into one of convenience, and she’s never almost lost the love of her life as Lin has. It makes you cherish every moment in case it’s your last. 

That peace breaks when Kuvira comes to Republic City, her change in demeanor is shocking and her inability to hand over the Earth Kingdom saddens you. She saved your life and the woman in front of you is not the same one who pushed you out of the way all those years ago. Something in her eyes has twisted, she’s become jaded over time and you seem to be the only one who holds out hope. Even Suyin gives up on her. 

When Toph meets you she's nothing short of surprised. “Hi, I’m your daughter's wife, Y/n.” In the background, Bolin can see Lin rolling her eyes as she begins to walk away. You guys are on a mission, and she really doesn’t want you to make nice with her mother. 

But you do because you're you and when Lin snaps while everyone is quietly eating their flameo noodles you softly calm her down. Still, you look over your shoulder at the first metal bender and say “you may have raised the love of my life but you’ve done nothing for her since the day you left Republic City. If she doesn’t want to forgive you for abandoning her then that’s perfectly fine by me.” 

Your words remind Lin of the first time you met, how she was floored by your ability to bite back despite your otherwise quiet demeanor. You’d been this shy woman who bumped into her on your way out of a bookstore and when she went to scold you for not paying attention you stopped her in her tracks with one look alone. It may seem childish and stupid, cringe-worthy even, but she knew she had to marry you one day just with that look. 

The next morning you save the Beifongs along with Zhu Li, you can’t help but watch Kuvira twist around as she continues to try and take Suyin down. If you go up there, will she do the same? She probably doesn’t remember you but as your savior, you remember her. Lin pulls you onto Juicy and wraps her arms around you, she thought the action was over, that her fear of losing you would lessen but it’s back in full force. 

She tries to make you evacuate with the rest of Republic City and that stubbornness she loves rears its head as you put your foot down, claiming that you go wherever she does. 

It’s all a blur really, there’s so much to do and such little time as you all try and try again to take her down when finally a reprieve comes in the form of Hiroshi’s sacrifice. Inside you stick with the Beifong sisters as you all work to destroy the weapon whilst Korra tries to distract Kuvira. 

It’s a split second filled with too much to process. One second you succeed and destroy the ammunition and then the arm in which you're all in is being flung across the city. You push Lin and Suyin towards the wall, your wife bends metal around the two of them and tries to do the same for you but it’s flimsy as you're so far away and everything is moving so fast. The force of impact successfully knocks you out.

When you come to there're three things you notice. 

Number one: You are so cold and yet you can feel sweat beading down your forehead. 

Number Two: The metal wrapped around you is gone, it must have broken off from the impact. 

Number three: It feels like you can’t breathe, there’s something inside you and when you try to move a pained scream scraps up your throat, it sounds gurgled and wet as something warm drips from your lips. 

When you finally manage to open your eyes you notice that you aren’t in the arm anymore, with your blurry vision you can make out the faint shape of it against a broken building. There’s so much distorted noise around you. You can faintly make out your name being shouted and when you try to speak nothing comes out. 

You make a mistake in your painful haze, you try to move. It’s then you finally look down as another scream rips out of you, this one slightly quieter, and notice the steel rod sticking out of the upper half of your stomach. You know it’s stupid but the only thing you can manage to think of is ‘that’s not meant to be there.’

Lifting your arm up you try to find a source of water, maybe you can heal what's around you as you slowly pull yourself off, but your call goes unanswered. Your arm gives out and falls onto the jagged pieces of concrete that cut into your skin but your brain is too focused on the pain in your stomach. 

Where is she? Is she okay? Will this pain have been worth it? You don’t know, you're alone and you know what’s about to happen and you're alone. In all the visions you had of saving her, the last thing you saw was her. But now it’s the dilapidated storefront that must have been broken in the collision as you lay where a wall once used to stand. The ceiling is moldy and only half of it is still intact. You don’t even get to see the sun at the end. 

Just as you're about to close your eyes to try and think of happy memories to go out on, you faintly hear someone say in a voice full of sorrow and desperation “No… No, no, no!” 

This site right here is Lin’s worst nightmares all wrapped into one. There’s so much blood pooling underneath you as it drips down the broken concrete of the building. You're pale, so pale she thinks you almost look like a ghost and blood drips from your mouth. 

She surges forward and falls to her knees, the bricks and rocks cut into her pants as pain sears through her legs, but she doesn’t care nor notice. All she notices is how your eyes are closed and how you're shivering in the middle of summer. Two warm hands cup your cheek, bringing you out of your pleasant memory of your wedding day as you open your eyes. A pair of bright green eyes stare down at you, she looks so scared. 

“Lin…” You wheeze out. She shakes her head as she begins to sob. You feel so tired, so weak and if you had the energy it’d anger you but you can’t find it in you to care anymore. She’s here and you can see her eyes, her beautiful face and you know that what you’ve just done to protect her and Suyin was worth it. If not for you pushing her out of the way she would have fallen out of the arm and you’d be the to find her amongst the rubble. 

“No you're fine, we’re gonna get you a heal- Korra can heal you it’s fi-” she’s stumbling over her words as she tries to wipe the blood off your face, it just smears the red liquid down your cheek and onto your neck. You shake your head. 

“I love you…” 

“Stop it, don’t say that you’ll be fine. You are going to live.” 

“Please say it back…” You know you won’t live, no one will find you in time and you’ve lost too much blood. It’ll happen any second now and you want to hear it one more time. 

“I’m not ready for this… You’re meant to grow old with me…” She sobs out. “You’re meant to live.” 

“Please Lin…” you stop as you cough up more blood. It’s close. “I’m scared, please jus-” 

“I love you, I-” she gently rests her forehead against your own, your skin is like ice now, “love you.” Lin feels so warm and comforting, you want to lean forward to wrap yourself around her but you can’t. 

 Tragedy struck within a matter of seconds. Life deemed her unworthy of a happy ending. 

The shivering that let her know you were still there stops. She’s too scared to open her eyes afraid of what she might find. Maybe if she keeps them closed you’ll come back. You were like a cat with nine lives and surely you had one left. She doesn’t know how long she sits there leaning over your lifeless body with her hands cradling your face and forehead against your own, her back begins to hurt from the position, but she does not move an inch.

Everyone is looking for the two of you. They’ve won, victory is finally theirs and everyone can rest easy now with the great uniter being dragged by Suyin and Korra. Lin left the second the blast had cleared, screw victory all she cared about was you and Suyin was worried by the quietness of the streets, by the fact that neither of you came stumbling out of an alley with your hands all over each other as relief radiates from you. 

It’s eerily silent as they turn down that fateful street Suyin and Lin woke up in, and she spots something out of the corner of her eye. A broken storefront that was slightly concealed by a large chunk of concrete. She sees the black of Lin’s suit and hears the faint whisper of someone murmuring something. 

Tossing the injured Kuvira towards Korra to fully support her, she races over to her sister. Everyone stops as they see what's transpiring. No one says a thing, breath being held as they make out Lin leaning over something. Even Kuvira watches because what else is there for her to do? 

Suyin stops a few feet behind her sister, her shoulders dropping when she sees a sight so tragic, so heartbreaking that even she begins to sob. Lin is too focused on you, she doesn’t even realize that she’s repeating something like a mantra, like some kind of prayer that will go unanswered. 

“You're going to be okay.” It’s all Lin can say, eyes still squeezed shut. Hesitantly, Suyin takes a step as she tries to stifle her cries. 

“Lin?...” 

She stills at her sister's voice, those same four words dying in her throat. Suyin braves another step and then one more before placing her hand on her sister's shoulder. She can see the blood now and there’s so much of it. It reminds her of the rushing river right outside of Zaofu. Lin tenses at the touch. 

“She’s fine.” Lin spits out and spirits it is such a useless lie. “She’s going to be fine.” Suyin grips her shoulder and pulls, in that moment of panic at being ripped from you her eyes finally open. You're so limp and without her hands to hold you, your face lulls to the side. Suyin finally spots the cause of your death with the detachment of Lin. Nothing could have saved you from that, not even if they found you immediately. Only spirit water could have fixed that and it’s too far away. 

“Lin…” Suyin starts as she continues to pull her away. Fear grips her so tightly she can’t control herself as she whips around to push her away. Her younger sister catches her arms before she can try to bend her away and Lin struggles to break free. Everyone sees you now.  

“Get off of me!” She screams, her voice cuts through the air like a knife and neither of the sisters notices the display of grief behind them as every person who knows you understands the gravity of the situation. You were like a second mother to Korra, you made sure Mako was fed and healthy during his brief time staying at the station. When Bolin doubted his bending in Zaofu you cheered him on. 

You were everyone's ray of sunshine. No one knows what to do when the sun finally goes out. 

“She’s fine!” Suyin just nods as she pulls Lin into a tight hug. The chief wails as she finally begins to realize that you aren’t fine, that you won’t wake up. It settles into her bones and drags her down until she’s collapsing. Suyin struggles to hold her sister as she gently kneels for them. 

In her defeated, injured state, Kuvira remembers you. She remembers cleaning up the bit of blood from the back of your head, and she thinks ‘that’s too much for me to clean.’  The great uniter remembers the sob that left Lin when she barreled into you. The sound of her voice as she choked out “What the fuck was that?”

Lin can’t breathe, she feels her heart die with you as she wails into her sisters shoulder. The icy cold grips of grief latch onto her like a parasite and make itself a nest inside her now empty chest cavity.

That day victory is not what anyone on that street feels. The sunshine has vanished from this world and replaced it with darkness that’ll loom over everyone’s life for the rest of time.

That day is the day Lin Beifong truly dies.