#And even now I can’t find it in me to be sad for having woken up

[idontlikemarshmallowsthatmuch]

I had this dream last night of riding a bike near a park with fresh green grass and an endless blue sky in the afternoon. There were kids playing at a little playground, some people having a picnic, and a birthday party near a barbecue grill. I was filled with this huge rush of happiness, just to be alive and to look around me.

I started to pull my phone out, because a part of me worried that I would forget what I had seen, and I wanted to remember it forever. As I opened my camera app, however, I suddenly gained lucidity. Of course I wouldn’t remember, it was a dream. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep any photos.

But even with tears streaming down my face I was grinning, and I took dozens of pictures before deciding to just look instead, desperately trying to burn everything into my mind. The streaks of white clouds, the endless pale blue expanse above me, the trees nearby as wind blew through their leaves.

I definitely don’t have those photos I took on my phone, but I have them in my mind now. It’s given me just a little something to look forward to.

[hoe4sports]

Guardian angel

Leah Williamson x Alessia Russo x child

A note from the author: Another glimse into the universe of musli.

Warning: Angst? Night terrors? Boys??

Summary: You try to start kindergarten, but Leah comes to a realisation.

-

You can feel your heart beaming in your chest. The beats are hard, almost painful. It feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest, and run away to a place of safety. A place that you have yet to find. You stand behind the corner of the hallway scared to peek out while Alessia and Leah is arguing. You had woken up hearing them argue. Their voices angry, both filled with rage. Your worst nightmare had cometrue. You made the two women hate each other. The only fosterhome you had felt somewhat safe in, was falling apart because of you. You remeber how your foster brother, Sebastian, would tell you that his parents was splitting up because of you. It makes your tiny hands tremble. You felt a gulp in your throat, but at the same time it was screaming for water. Tears linger in your eyes before you violently try to rub them away. You swallow a sob terrified to bring attention to yourself.

“I hate you! I hate her! Why do we even let her stay?!” Leah yells after Alessia who moves to stand behind the couch in the middle of the room.

“Stop being a bitch about it, we can just get rid of it!” Alessia hurries back at Leah.

Leah frowns.

“Oh, now, NOW, I know i understand! Where is she? Where is the problem??!”

They both turn to look at you as you tumble out of your hiding spot. You dont understand why you end up tumbling out from your hiding spot. Leah laughs in a way that immediately makes you want to cry. She sounds like one of the evil stepmothers on the princess movies.

“You! You are the problem! Y/N, come here! You are leaving now! Out!” Leah scream at you before they both start chasing you down the hallway.

Your feet picks up and you run as fast as you can before you reach the guest room that you remind yourself are only borrowing. Everything feels like a blur. Your hands try to cling to the door in an attempt to unlock it. But you can’t get the door open. It seems stuck. Your hands arent strong enough. You try as hard as you can. But it won’t budge. Not even when you use all the force in your body.

You turn around to face the two women who are slowly creeping up on you. They have devilish looks on their faces, and you cry hysterically in panic.

“Please, Please, Mrs.Alessia, I’ll leave! I promise, don’t hurt me!”

You cry back, but they won’t listen. They just keep their scary smiles plastered on their faces while slwly moving towards you. You don’t know what to do. Alessia’s eyes look kind of black, you notice. It scares you even further. You scream as the pair of them comes up close to you with the most intense smiles you have ever seen. You close your eyes in terror as you scream and cry. The panic sets in.

“Mommy!! I want mommy! Mommy, please, please! Please, come get me mommy! Don’t hurt me please, I’m-I’m gonna be good, I promi-

That’s when you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, you can feel a sensation of someone shaking you gently. It startles you. You jerk in shock. You feel out of breath. Your hands are clinging to your eyes, terrified to open them.

“Y/N? Love, it’s okay. It’s just a dream”

Just a dream, you think. You are not sure if you believe it. You open one of your eyes slowly and see Alessia hunched down next to you on the carpet. Your body is feeling sweaty, and you are exhausted. Every part of your body feels tense. Leah is standing in the doorway with a sad look on her face while giving you a sad smile.

You look at Alessia with panic in your eyes. The realisation has hit you, you woke them up.

“I’m-I’m so sorry Mrs.Alessia, I didn’t mean too. Plea-Please, don’t send me away. I’ll be good, I’ll be quiet, I pinky promise” you sob as you wobble your lower lip.

Alessia sends you a sad, but comforting look before opening her arms to you. “It was just a nightmare, angel. We are not mad at you, not ever.”

This happens again and again. You have nightmares that won’t go away. You worry that they will get tired of it, tired of spending time comforting you, tired of being woken up by screaming. But she dosent get tired. She does this every night, hold her arms open. Secretly, she hopes for the day you will hug her back. To allow yourself to be a little girl. Because that’s what you are. Just a little girl that needs love.

Musli always follows them into the room when you cry. He always falls asleep next to you, and when you are sound asleep; he retrieves to get food and cuddles before he comes back for the night. He stands next to Alessia, and he purrs while bonking his head at her. You look at them. You remember what your mom always said about cats. If a cat trust someone and like them, then they are good people that you can trust. Cats are better at judging peoples charater.

You don’t know why, but one night you throw yourself to her. You hold on to her like she is the last flotie and you are in the middle of the ocean. Alessia silently hushes you while holding you tight and rocking you gently back and forth. Her hand resting on the back of your head while walkin gback and forth. It feels nice. Almost safe. Like one of the mommy hugs you would get when you hurt your toe outside. But you never dare to hug her back. Feelings come rushing down your throat, and you feel a sob sneaking out of your body. Then you cry, and cry and cry and cry until eventually pass out in exhaustion.

The following mornings follows the same rhythms. Night terrors in the middle of the night. Alessia and Leah takes turns in holding you and comforting you. You pass out from crying. Then, you wake up in your new bed with musli licking your face. Using his loud purrs, he tries his best to soothe you. He is always calm. It makes you wonder if this place might be safe.

You stumble out of your bedroom feeling frightened that your new foster moms might have left you alone for the day. It’s not unusual, plenty of families used to leave you alone. Claiming you were a big girl. But, your new guardians are always at the kitchen, always waiting for you with a warm breakfast. At first, you thought it was just for show. Like when your old fosters would dress you up all nice and give you a shower before your social worker would arrive. But by each day that goes, the care feels less than just for show. For a split second, you believe that perhaps someone might care about you.

You aren’t old, just four. Four fingers. All of your fingers except for your thumb. Just four. You already know you can’t trust anyone. People always turn on you, but that’s okay. It is because you always misbehave. But your last foster family would leave you alone for hours upon end if you misbehaved. Misbehaving would be things like not get yourself up in time, eat too much, make noise or complain. It scared you to the point of shaking, you never wanted to misbehave. There was always so many rules at every new house, and it was hard to know what rules belonged to what house. It was confusing. You wish you could write, that way you could note down the rules. But you can’t even spell your name. Because you are just four.

In your last family, you weren’t allowed to pet the dog. You weren’t even allowed to touch the dog. But here, at Leah and Alessia’s house; Musli gets to sleep in your bed. He even sleeps next to you after Leah and Alessia has said goodnight and you crawl to lay on the big carpet. It’s nice, you decide. It feels like somewhat of a routine. You think you like that. If things are predictable, then you won’t misbehave, and then they won’t kick you out.

But this morning; it’s different. When you wake up, you see Alessia. She is gently shaking you to wake you up, but you feel scared. You instantly shoot up thinking that you did something wrong. That you might have misbehaved in your sleep.

“I-I’m sorry, Mrs.Alessia. I’ll do better tomorrow, I pinky promise!” You beg as tears once again stream down your red cheeks. Your cheeks that are always painted with beautiful roses. The tears aren’t normally allowed at fosterhomes, so you wipe your eyes so hard that your vision becomes fuzzy. Because you cannot misbehave.

But Alessia isn’t angry. She smiles at you before tucking your hair behind your ear. She squats down, and seems like she is inviting you in for a hug. You haven’t had a proper hug for a long time, only the ones you get when you have nightmares. But, you barely remember them. The only hugs you’ve had from other than Alessia and Leah: was mommyhugs and daddyhugs. You decided that the hug from Alessia is a test, so you just look down into the ground hoping that you made the right choice. Because you are terrified to misbehave. To take up too much space. You worry about what your new moms are like when they are mad. A part of you thinks that they are gentle. Like if Leah and Alessia becomes upset with you, you think that they might let you have the bed. And if they take your bed away, you still have the soft carpet.

Alessia gives you a sad smile before sitting down on her knees. You give her your best smile while trying to silent your sobs. Alessia’s heart breaks into a million little pieces when she sees you, a four year old, trying to soothe herself. She can only hope for the day when you let them into your heart because she knows that you have already filled up theirs.

“We are going shopping for you today, love. We have the day off, and kindergarten is starting up soon”.

You look at them in confusion. First at Leah, then at Alessia. What things, you think. You feel worried, have you lost something? And why do you have to be sent away?

“But first, breakfast” Alessia encourages you, and you immediately go to find your special chair. This is a part of the routine that you know by heart. After breakfast, it’s the same routine too. You put your plate in the dishwasher, you go get whatever clothes you can find in your drawer and Leah helps you brush your teeth before Alessia does your hair. You decide that you like it. The routines. It makes you feel like you might be able to trust them. Like you can predict what will happen. When they pamper you, it feels like you are four years old and not some kind of mini adult.

-

When you get to the mall, it’s big. It’s much bigger than any place that you have ever been at. Alessia says that it’s called Westfield. You think it sounds fancy. Expensive. You feel scared once you realise that you do not have any money. You only have your little stuffie, Meow. He is the only thing you own and you hold him tight scared that he might be taken away from you.

Leah hops out of the car, and unbuckles you. The carseat they put you in feels soft and comfortable. Normally, your fosters never take you anywhere. You and Leah meet Alessia in-front of the car. It feels scary when you look around you. There are cars parked everywhere, and more people than you have ever seen before.

You look up at Alessia with a scared look on your face. She instantly squats down to your level.

“It can feel overwhelming to be here for the first time. That’s okay, Leah feels overwhelmed with going to the mall too.”

You look over at Leah who nods at you. It makes you smile shyly.

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

You look at Alessia before you nod. Holding hands. Normally, your foster family never lets you hold their hands. You decide to take advantage of the opportunity. Your mom would always hold your hand when going to the park. It’s a good memory. Perhaps you can go to the park with Leah one day.

You grab Alessia’s hand and look at Leah. You offer her to hold the paw of mr.meow that is safely in your left hand. She takes it, and it sneaks a slight giggle out of you. The giggle makes Alessia and Leah’s hearts flutter. It’s the first time they have heard you giggle.

-

You arrive at the store that your new foster moms have picked out for you to go to. At the front of the store, there are statues with clothes on them. You like the dresses that they are wearing. They are pink and with ruffles. It also looks like it’s a twirly dress, you used to love twirly dresses.

In the store, you don’t really know what to do. You never shop. People usually never get things for you. You just stand there with mr.meow in your hand looking around you. There are crying kids everywhere, it confuses you. Why are they allowed to leave the house if they cry? You decide that it’s because they got lucky with their parents than you.

“Here, what do you think about this dress?”

Alessia holds out a pink dress with hearts on it. It surprises you, but you look her way. You touch the fabric with your hands. It feels soft. You smile shyly and nod to Alessia. Leah immediately grabs it and puts it in the basket before you deny the gift.

“What about this skirt? Maybe with this top?”

Alessia holds out a skirt this time. It’s made out of the same material as your jeans, and it has sown in pink stars at the bottom. The top next to it is a sweater. It’s a white sweater with a little bow on the neckline. You nod.

This is how the whole shopping trips goes. They suggest something, and you nod. It’s not that you aren’t grateful, because you really are. You just don’t know how to tell them that you want something or not want something. Luckily, Alessia seems to know what little girls like to wear.

After walking through the clothes part of the store, you spot the toy department. It has a bunch of toys. Anything from teddies to trains to barbie dolls. Your eyes glides across the area, quickly scanning the toys.

Then you see it. You stop in your tracks. It’s a cupboard, a little taller than you in the shape of a house.It has doors and carvings, and windows. Inside the house is a series of mice from Maileg. Your eyes light up when you see them. It’s the same mice you got from your mom. She would collect them for you. You would call it your them your “little mouse”.

Alessia notices your sudden interest in the display, and takes a step towards it. Your feet follow along as you near the mice. You can see them. It’s all kinds of mice. Its a set with a mommy and daddy mouse in wedding outfit, it’s a kit with a wooden fridge filled with little realistic pieces of food, it’s a box shaped like a matchbox with three triplet baby mice in it. Then there is the princess mouse, she has atleast 10 mattresses. There is all kinds of accessories too. A kit with a bathing suit, swim giggles and beach towels. A circus kit with a circus ball and a clown. A mouse with a tent and binoculars. There are also clothes for the mice, and hangers for their clothes and beds and little furniture for the mice.

But at the corner of your eye, it’s a special box that catches your eye. It’s a teal box in the shape of a suitcase with gold dots and gold letters on it. Your right hand drop Alessia’s hand and left hand drops mr.meow who is still holding Leah’s hand. You eagerly open the box, and your hopes are confirmed. It’s a guardian angel mouse. Not just any kind, but the same kind your foster dad took away from you for not sharing it with your foster brothers. It’s the same kind your mom gave you to have in your backpack when you started nursery as a baby. You would also bring it to see your grandparents and when you went to the park. You open the box, and the same mouse that you had earlier is right in front of you. It has a pink dress, white wings and a little yellow halo. At the corner of your eyes, water is gathering. It makes you feel embarrassed, but also desperate. Desperate because you want it. You want it more than anything else in the whole world. Maybe not more than you want your mom and dad, but it’s a close call. You consider to put it in your pocket and take it. But that would be wrong. But you really want it.

Alessia and Leah seems to have catch on because Leah squats down next to you. She dries the tear that has escaped your eye.

“Take it, little miss. I’ll get it for you”

You look over at Leah. You want to smile and be happy, but you feel unsure. Is this a test? The mice is expensive. You know this because mommy told you so. She said it was lots of pounds for a tiny mice, that this was something you had to use your birthday wish to get it. But knowing your mom, she got it for you. Just like she knew you would need it one day.

“Maybe, it can be a birthday gift? Or Christmas gift? Or I can try to pay you back?”

You suggest out of desperation, not wanting to accept it without a play to repay them.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. We will get it for you. Is there anything else you would like to go with it?”

You look at the display, but shake your head. You only want the guardian angel mouse. The stupidly expensive mice with the little pink dress. Secretly, you want another mouse to keep it company. Maybe a little bed for them to sleep in, but you don’t wanna seem ungrateful.

“Thank you, Leah” you say as you choke a sob. You feel an overwhelming feeling of gratefullness. Grateful to be with Leah and Alessia. Grateful to have a memory of your mom. Grateful to be allowed a toy.

-

When you get home that day, you go through all your old clothes with Alessia. Leah had to go to buy groceries, so she isn’t helping out. Alessia lay your clothes out on the floor. It’s weird, you think. Your mommy would do the same thing. Your clothes aren’t much to brag about. Some of them have stains and others are too small. Some of them have holes and others are worn out.

The pieces of clothing are carefully sorted into piles before placed in bags. Your old clothes that are in decent condition gets put back into the dresser. Then, Alessia carefully folds your new clothes and place them into the dresser filling it up completely.

“All set for your big adventure tomorrow!” Alessia cheers at you. You feel confused.

“Am I being sent away? I just need a black bag and I-”

“No, we are not sending you away. We will never just send you away. Tomorrow, we are going to see your new kindergarten. Then, you will stay there for a few hours until we pick you up.”

“Uhm, why? Am i bad?”

“Me and Alessia will go back to work. Mondays and Thursdays, you will get to go to kindergarten to play with other kids. It will just be a few hours, I promise.”

Alessia confirms while carefully closing your drawers. You can’t help but feel scared that they will forget to pick you up.

“..oh”

You feel sad with the explanation. A part of you wonders why you can’t come with them to work. It feels safe to be with them at all times. That way, you can make sure to always be a joy to be around. However, if you aren’t there. You can’t keep track of what the adults are talking about. If they are talking about getting rid of you.

-

The next morning comes around, and soon enough you were standing inside of the kindergarten. You had been to kindergartens before, but your old foster parents forgot you there. There were plenty of kids. Some were crawling while others were running. There was even a girl in a wheelchair. Everyone seemed so happy busy playing with all the toys you could even dream of.

However, you don’t play with any of the toys. You had been placed at the little table next to the crayons and sheets to draw. But, you dont draw. You are just observing everyone around you. Everything around you. The buzz of the room is loud, and every know and then someone cries.

A young woman comes walking over to you, and sits down across for you. She has a name tag, and she is a grown up. She grabs a sheet and a pink crayon before she starts drawing. You look at her while she draws. You notice how she sticks her tongue out in concentration. Her hands are busy drawing at top speed. After a while, she turns the drawing around towards you.

“It’s a dandelion”

You take a look at it. Dandelions are yellow, you think. But you don’t dare to correct her. You nod while looking at her, your hand pressing the little mouse in your pocket.

“It’s pretty” you whisper back.

She smiles at you, but you don’t smile back.

“Do you want to help me color it in?” She suggests. Your eyes widen at the idea. Your mom would draw pictures for you to color in. You immediately nod, and she giggles before signing for you to come over to her side.

“Do you wanna sit on the chair?” She asks. You shake your head rapidly.

“Okay, do you want to sit on my lap?” You nod. That is what feels the safest. Not because you trust her, but because then she can’t leave you if you color outside of the lines.

You get handed a yellow crayon, and you carefully color inside the lines. Then, you grab the brown crayon, and color the middle. Eventually, you finish your Colouring. The woman lifts it up and smiles.

“You are an artist!” She cheers at you while rubbing your shoulders. You look down and blush.

After colouring, the group moves on to lunch. It smells like tomato sauce, it’s your favourite meal. You love tomato sauce, pasta and minced beef together. It was one of your childhood favourites, just like you mommy would make whenever you had a bad day.

A plate gets placed on the mat infront of you, and you get handed a fork. It’s like the one at home, the kids sized forks. It’s nice, it feels safe. But then you feel a wave of feelings hitting you. You tear up as your lower lip wobble, and you drop your fork in the heat of the moment. All the kids turn to look at you, and you feel terrified.

Your hand goes into your pocket, to hold your guardian angel mouse. It might give you some well needed soothing. But before you are able to hold it for long, a boy points to your mouse and screams something along the lines of “no toys at the table”.

The anxiety kicks in, and suddenly you launch yourself off your chair before sprinting into the warderobe hiding behind your jacket. You sit there and sob while an older woman tries to console you; but it dosent work. She tries to be gentle, but ends up feeling frustrated. When she asks you to place the mouse in your backpack, you cry harder and push your face towards the wall while the tears are streaming down.

Then, the young woman that helped you color takes over for the old woman. She sits down next to you; she dosent touch you, she dosent yell and she is whispering words of encouragement to you. After a while, you feel exhausted from crying and you start to fall asleep in your hiding spot. The woman gently touches your shoulder before scooping you up in her arms. You look at her, half awake with a puzzled look.

“Just sleep princess, I’ll call your parents”

-

Leah is out in physio when it happens. Her phone buzzes, and she stops the treatment on her knee to answer the call. She feels a lump in her throat when she hears the voice of the woman from the kindergarten, and she feels directly alarmed when she hears your sobs lingering in the background.

“I’ll be there in five, thank you for calling” she finishes before sprinting out of the session, not giving a care about the no running restrictions that she is on. Her feet takes her to the field where she immediately spots Alessia.

“Lessi, we have to leave! It’s y/n” she yells grabbing the attention of the whole group. Alessia’s eyes widen. Leah is never stressed. She only remember her being stressed when their cat disappeared for 24 hours. She knows that this is an emergency and she quickly releases herself from the resistance band that she has got herself hooked onto. The pair of the sprint to the car before speeding to the kindergarten, both women still in their kits.

By the time they pull up to the kindergarden, you are hysterically crying again. The pair of them practically abandon their car in the middle of the parking lot, they can already hear your cries through an open window. And the cries are heartbreaking. The girls share a terrfied look wondering what could possibly have gone wrong. Leah starts running towards the entrance getting a hand on the doorknob before Alessia catches up and holds her back by the shoulder.

"Lee, we have to be calm. She dosent need to see us worried or scared. I know you want to get to her, but we need to be calm." Alessia stressed at Leah. Leah crossing her arms over her chest before realising that Alessia was right. She takes a deep breath, trying her best to seem calm and collected.

"Let’s go get our girl" Leah says as she opens up the door to the kindergarden eyes immediately scanning the room to find you.

-

You are still sat behind your jacket, still crying. Nobody really knows what set you off, and you are not sure either. Perhaps its the overwhelming feeling of being one of 20 kids or perhaps its the lunch reminding you of your parents. The boy that called you out for having your mouse in your pocket, definitly played a part in it.

You arent sure why you feel like this, but when you see your fostermoms: you feel desperate . As Alessia is walking next to the teacher, Leah is practically jogging towards you. You only see her throught your tearsoaked eyes and reach your hands towards her begging for a sense of comfort. Leah's hands reach for you and scoop you up almost on autopilot.

Leah holds you tight as you sob leaning your head into her chest while your tiny hands are cluthing her shirt. She softly hushes you while bouncing you slowly back and forward in her arms. She whispers soothing words into the top of your head. The warmth of leah and the loud beating of her heart makes you feel sleepy. You yawn mid sob before falling asleep in Leah's arms.

"Leah, i can carry her. You need to be careful with your leg. Here, take her jacket instead." Alessia insists reaching her hands towards you. Leah instantly turns you away from Alessia feeling like you are too fragile to be removed. Leah dosent care that her leg hurts, she just cares that you are feeling safe.

"I'll carry her, shes my kid" Leah mumbles holding a hand on your head pressing it into her shirt while walking towards the exit. The only thing she can think of is how she wants to protect you. How she needs to make sure that you are safe. Alessia gives an apologetic look to the teacher before catching up with Leah. Alessia lays her hand on Leah's back.

“Leah, she isn’t ours. Not yet at least, and for all we know they might have a family for her” Alessia remind her sending shivers down Leah’s back.

"I dont care about laws and your opinion, im never letting her go back into another fosterhome. Or another home. Or to this stupid kindergarten. She’s coming with me to work. Im not asking, Alessia. Im telling you. She has been through enough in four years. She deserves the world, and I’ll give it to her. I’ll call the social worker first thing tomorrow.”

Leah holds you tight, sheltering your face from the wind. Alessia feels pride when hearing Leah speak about you, because Alessia wants to add you to their family too.

"Its okay Lee, we will find a way"

[eddiesxangel]

Fool Me Once | Eddie Munson x Reader

Anonymous Asked: Eddie being your first everything and first boyfriend and reader is like kinda awkward or something. Then Eddie gets really drunk and gets home to reader and starts yelling at her saying like “You’re only dating me because you don’t want to be a sad loser virgin.” and she gets really sad because she genuinely loves him so much and she starts thinking that he doesn’t love her at all… Then maybe the day after he can’t find reader anywhere and maybe she’s like with robin just crying her eyes out.

AN: IDK IDK it’s my first angsty thing I’ve done hope it’s ok 🫣

Cw: angst, hurt no comfort. Small bitty smut. Use of pet names, one use of reference to reader as “my girl”

“I love you, god, I love you” Eddie slowly pumped his swollen cock in and out of you.

You’ve never felt this wave of pleasure before; no wonder everyone was so hyped about sex.

“Fuck you’re so tight.”

“Baby, please.” You didn’t know what you were asking for, but the feeling in your lower stomach was starting to build more and more and more until! Euphoria. Euphoria fuelled your body. The wave of pleasure that Eddie just granted you felt indebted to him.

“I love you,” you sigh as your body melts into your boyfriend.

You’ve been with him for almost six months and finally felt ready to give himself to him. You hadn’t slept with anyone until now, and you were so happy you waited. You never felt so close, so in love, so unbelievably happy in this moment. Life was amazing; nothing could ever break this feeling you have.

Ring ring ring

You were abruptly awakened by the sound of your phone ringing. You were fast asleep, and now feeling disoriented, you looked at the clock. It was already 3:38am. You wondered who could be calling you at this late hour. Maybe it was an emergency? Your heart racing, you rushed over to the phone in a state of panic.

"Hello?"

"You little slut"

"Eddie?"

"Who else would it be? Are you expecting a booty call? another guy you want to fuck?"

"I don't understand? What's wrong."

“What's wrong? I'll tell ya what's wrong! You’re only with me, so you’re not some loser virgin, that’s what! Do you think all the guys will want you to know that your cherry is popped? Well, guess what, honey? Now you're just a sad little whore.” He slurred.

“Wha-“

“You think you’re hot shit now? Getting with the freak of Hawkins? Gonna brag about how you fucked the freak?”

“Eddie, what are you talking about?” your voice wobbled.

He was obviously drunk out of his mind, but as they all say, drunk words are a sober man’s thoughts.

“I know how this is going to go… well, not if I beat you to it.”

“I don't understand?”

“I don't understand?” He mocked you in a high-pitched voice. “I’ll tell you what I’m talking about!” He yelled, and you cowered. He didn’t care. His voice got louder and louder. “You were a sad loooooser virgin before me! And now you’re just a sad loser who fucked the freak,” he laughed. He actually laughed.

"Eddie-"

“So we are don-”

You hung up the phone before he could finish his sentence.

You couldn't believe this was happening? You gave Eddie everything. You thought he was your everything up until this point. You slept with Eddie for the first time a week ago. Things were good, great, even. Until he went to the hideout tonight without you.

You stayed up the rest of the night because you were in tears about what Eddie said. None of this makes any sense? You always loved Eddie, and you thought he loved you back? How could he be so cruel?

You were woken up from your daze by a knock on your apartment door. You stumbled out of your room, still in your sleep shirt, with puffy eyes from crying all night. Robin was here to pick you up for work.

"Good Mor-" Her smile dropped along with the cup of coffee she was handing you as she saw your appearance. "Oh my god! What happened?" she rushed inside to wrap her arms around you.

"Eddie. He-" You could hardly get the words out. You just crumpled into a ball on the floor and sobbed pathetically in front of Robin.

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch" She let you cry into her on the floor. "Come on, you need to get out of here. Get changed. We are calling in sick, and we can return to my place."

Eddie woke up the morning after with a terrible hangover. It was already 12:35pm, and he couldn't remember how he got home. He suddenly felt an intense wave of nausea, which prompted him to hurry to the bathroom, where he vomited uncontrollably.

After the fifth shot, things in his memory become a little hazy. He was pretty hammered by then, but he still kept drinking with the boys. He vaguely remembered Jason being at the bar and making some leud comment about you, but other than that. Nothing.

He stumbled over to his answering machine to find it empty. That's weird? You always call him before your shift, and at least try to catch him on your lunch break. Today was Wednesday, right? You always work the morning shifts today.

Eddie tried calling your number, but he had no luck, so he tried calling your work, and when they said you called in sick, he got worried. So he tried your number again, and it still went to voice mail. Maybe you were sleeping? He tried calling back to see if Robin might know more. But when your annoyed coworker picked up the phone to tell him Robin also called in sick, he knew something was up.

Eddie rushed to his phone book to find Robin's number and called it. he waited for four rings until...

"Hello?"

"Hey! Rob it's Eddie, have you-"

"We are not speaking to you."

"We? Who's we?"

But it was too late. All he heard was the sound of the dial tone.

He tried again, no answer this time. He tried once more before getting pissed and decided to just go over to her place because what the fuck?

When Eddie got to Robin's, he pounded on the door like the pounding going on in his head.

"Robin! Open the door, please."

The door finally swung open to a very angry-looking Robin standing before him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Munson?!" She stepped outside and closed the door behind her so he couldn't come in.

"Robin, I'm extremely hungover and do not have the patience for your riddles. Do you know where my girl is or not? I'm worried sick."

"Oh, you can relax now since she is not your girl anymore, buddy." she poked his chest roughly. "you made that abundantly clear last night.

"Last night? I don't remember a thing from last night!"

"Well, think harder because she has been in there sobbing her eyes out from your little phone call."

"Phone call? What pho-" Then it all came rushing back to Eddie. It hit him like a Mack Truck.

"Yo Munson, where is that little whore of yours? Is she usually dangling off your arm like your little pet?" Jason snorted. "I bet she's off sucking another guy's cock; realized what a loser you are."

Jason didn't say much more to antagonize Eddie and get in his head, especially with the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

How could he be so stupid?

"Robin, oh my god, I fucked up. I fucked up big. Let me apologize."

"No. not now." She's a mess, as you can imagine-"

Robin was interrupted by the creek of the front door opening.

There you stood, looking as small as ever. Your eyes are still puffy, and your hair is a mess in your pyjamas at 1:30 in the afternoon.

"Baby, I-"

"Don't!" you cut him off, and Robin leaves to give you two spaces. "Don't you dare come here and think you can just take back what you said to me!" You had done a lot of crying; your anger was showing through.

"You don't understand, Jason was-"

"Jason?! What the fuck does Jason have to do with this? You hurt me, Eddie! I gave you everything! And then you throw it back in my face, accusing me of sleeping around? Are you insane? I've been in love with you for the last year and give myself to you, and you just throw that all away because of Jason Fucking Carver?"

"Baby, please, I'm so sorry; I'll do anything!"

"You've done enough." You turn and slam the door. That's it. You were done. Your heart felt so heavy… like it was just smashed into a million pieces. You were so close to caving when you saw the look of sorrow in those puppy dog eyes. But he had hurt you so bad you couldn’t believe he felt an ounce of pain he had inflicted upon you.

You and Eddie were officially done.

You have been radio silent. You were held up in your room, and you refused to do anything other than go to work.

Eddie called you excessively. It was every day, multiple times a day. His messages made your heartache as you played them back. You could hear in his voice how broken he was. He had fucked up so bad you didn’t know if you should give him another chance. For two weeks, you refused to answer your phone. You were so sick of it ringing you eventually took it off the line.

Eddie did everything he could think of to try and win you back. He sent you flowers to your work every single shift. He called, wrote love letters, and just needed you to speak to him. He was a desperate mess without you. Eddie’s heart, like not, was ripped into shreds, and it was all his fault.

You’ve been in his life since high school since he met you in hellfire freshman year. Then, once you finally confessed your feelings for one another, he couldn’t believe his luck. You said you wanted to be with him, that you wanted him to be the only one you give yourself to. He never thought that he would be so lucky... And here he was, shooting himself in the foot. He even tried to go to your apartment a few times. But you would never answer the door. He would leave a note each time he showed up unannounced. It would say how sorry he was and how much he loved you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to believe him.

The slurred words repeatedly played in your head, and you couldn’t make it stop. No matter how much he apologized, nothing he could say could make you forget. Your chest felt like it had a fifty-pound weight sitting right on your heart. Your eyes were permanently swollen from the continuous crying you couldn’t seem to stop. He had stolen your heart and then stomped on it until it seized to beat.

The first month after the breakup was rough, but avoiding Eddie seemed to be easy enough. He eventually got the message by month two and stopped trying altogether.

As time went on, you slowly started to heal. Eventually, your constant thoughts about Eddie subsided. Eventually, they stopped. You never thought you would get over the hurt, but the distance helped. You were getting on your merry way by month three. Finally, feeling like yourself again, eating regularly, sleeping regularly. You hadn’t heard or seen him, and you were finally freed from the prison sentence that was Eddie Munson.

Time spent with your friends and family was exactly what you needed. Even though Robin saw Eddie regularly, she never forgave him for what he did to you. Their friendship was strained, which strained his friendship with Steve as well as Nancy. They wanted to take his side, but once they heard what he had said to you, they couldn’t simply look the other way. So you would hang out with them when Eddie wasn’t there and vice versa. They made sure you never had to encounter one another for the time being. However, it was getting more and more difficult to have two separate schedules to appease you both.

You were to go to Steve’s for dinner with everyone, pizza and movie night. When you arrived, everyone was tense. Lines got crossed, miscommunication ensued, and as you walked through to the kitchen, he was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water in his hand, almost slipping from his grip as his Bambi eyes widened at the sight of you.

“Oh shit!” You hear Steve curse when he realizes the mistake that has been made.

“I’m going to go.” You turn and sprint to the door.

“Not wait!l You can hear Eddie shuffle off the chair behind you, but you refuse to look back.

“Please! Wait!”

Threatening tears sting your eyes, and you rush out the front door.

“Sweetheart, wait.” You feel his hand hook your elbow as your body is jerked in the opposite direction in which you’re running.

“What!” You yell, but then you see his eyes. You really look at him for the first time in three months. He had bags under his eyes, and the dark circles extenuated the deep chocolate of his eyes.

“I-I uh,” he lets out a deep breath, “I wanted to say I’m sorry I’m so sorry. I was so god damn stupid, so so stupid, the dumbest guy on the planet. I can’t believe I fucked this up so badly; I love you. I love you so much. I can’t do this anymore without you, baby. Please.” He was on his knees, begging, literally on his knees, grovelling.

“Eddie, get up.”

“No, I don’t deserve it.” He was so pathetic, but he didn’t care. “I love you, please, just please. I need you in my life.”

“I don’t know Eddie…”

“So that’s not a no?!” He popped up like an excited little bunny, the silver oh hope he needed to get by.

“Eddie…” you sigh.

“No, no, you said maybe! You don’t know. You haven’t decided. Please, baby, I love you.”

“This is too hard.” Your lip wobbles as you try walking away again, but he interlocks your hand with his.

“Please, can I at least just hold you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You let your hand slip from his grip, and he unwillingly let go.

Eddie felt you slipping through his fingers, literally. The hope he had moments ago was gone.

“I’m sorry”

“So am I…” without another look back, you walked away.

[gaycentral]

Can I ask you to write about spencer being in a relationship with y/n and jj confess her feelings to him as they're being held hostage and they're on speaker the whole time and the whole team and spencer's girlfriend hears it and after spencer and jj are safe and days passes by spencer just be confused and distended but his girlfriend didn't say anything about it even though she wasn't feeling okay about it at all until they have an argument about it.

Miscommunication

Spencer Reid x Gen!Reader

Spencer’s been avoiding talking to you since JJ confessed her love for him. You have had enough.

Warnings/Content: Angst, angry reader, sad reader, sad Spencer, Spencer can’t talk about feelings so great. Ends with fluff.

You couldn’t sleep.

It had been two weeks since the hostage situation, since you feared for your boyfriend’s life and the life of JJ—one of your closest friends. But the fear had morphed into confusion, then the horrible crushing feeling of betrayal. JJ had confessed her love for your boyfriend. Your boyfriend. She was a married woman, it had been ten years since Spencer had a brief infatuation for her but she couldn’t let go.

And now you couldn’t sleep.

Things had been awkward. Spencer didn’t really want to talk about what happened, and a part of you understood that. But a much louder, much angrier part of you wanted to grab him and shake him and tell him to for fucks sake just talk to you.

You sighed as you sat up in bed, hands rubbing tiredly down your face. You looked over, Spencer was asleep curled on his side, facing away from you. It was seemingly an innocuous position, but it didn’t ease the anxiety that maybe Spencer didn’t love you anymore—or worse, never loved you at all. Maybe he’d been pretending, maybe you’d been his second choice when JJ slipped out of his grasp.

Slowly, you climbed out of bed, careful not to wake him. The anxiety was growing, crushing, your stomach twisting into double knots then triple knots as your mind spiralled.

Breathe. You needed to breathe.

You shuffled to the living room, bare feet gently padding across the hardwood floors as you approached the window overlooking the street, cracking it open to let air in and bracing your hands on the windowsill, letting your head hang low.

Your heart beat so hard it ached, and the tears you couldn’t fight blurred your vision into watercolours.

“Hey.”

Spencer’s voice nearly jumped you out of your skin. His sock-clad feet had allowed him to accidentally creep up on you. You didn’t know, but he’d woken up the moment he couldn’t feel you next to him, his hand blindly reaching out to find still-warm sheets but no you, and he immediately worried.

“Oh. Hey.” You force a smile as you turn around, hastily wiping your eyes and trying to make it look like you’re simply tired. But you’re both profilers, and Spencer isn’t an idiot, even without his glasses or contacts on in the late hours of the night he can see your red-rimmed eyes. His face falls.

“What’s wrong?” He immediately takes long strides towards you. One step, two, three, then he reaches you. He reaches out to you, but you step back.

“I can’t…I can’t be kept in the dark anymore, Spencer.” You don’t want to do this, you really don’t. You just want to go back to bed with Spencer in your arms or you in his but you know you can’t. You need to talk about this. You need an answer.

He seems to know what you’re talking about before you can even continue, as his gaze falls to the floor. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Can we just talk about this in the morning?” The exhaustion in his voice almost makes you crack, but you stand firm.

“No, Spencer. We can’t just talk about this in the morning.” The words come out sharper than intended, and you grimace, but you keep going. “You’ve been avoiding it—me, for two weeks!”

Spencer doesn’t say anything, but his hands clench into fists by his sides. He can’t bring himself to look up at you, the shame gnaws at his insides because he knows you’re right and it hasn’t been fair to you. He tried to ignore the way your crestfallen expression tugged at his heart whenever you tried to talk about it and he turned you away.

You finally ask the dreaded question, pulling it from beneath the lump in your throat and through your teeth. “Do you love her?”

Spencer’s eyes widen and his gaze snaps up to you in disbelief. He wanted to say no, he did, because he didn’t love JJ. Not like that, anyway. But seeing how angry you were, how tired you were, he found the air trapped in his lungs and all that escaped was a small sound that left him mentally kicking himself and calling himself the worlds biggest idiot.

And because of this, you thought you had your answer. He did. He loved JJ. Not you.

You force back the next wave of tears, your eyes and throat burning with the effort of keeping them unshed. You feel your heart shatter in your chest.

“I see.” You manage to say, trying to hide your heartbreak behind a cold mask. You were never good at that, not with him. With him you were an open book. “Well. I’ll get out of your way, then. I’ll take my stuff in the morning.”

You try to walk past him, but he stops you, his hand grasping your wrist. Not hard enough to hurt or bruise, simply a silent plea for you to stop and listen. You want so badly to wrench out of his grip, to scream and cry and hate him for hurting you but you don’t. You can’t. You love him too much. So you stop, and you wait.

“I don’t love her.” Spencer finally says, his voice so earnest you have a hard time not believing him but a part of you still doubts. “She’s my friend, and I’ll always love her as a friend. But that’s it, I promise. I love you.”

His hand slides down from your wrist to your hand, fingers curling around yours as his thumb lightly rubs across your palm. His eyes are wide and wet, pleading with you to believe him, not to push him away.

You don’t trust yourself to talk without crying, so you take a shaky breath to try and steady yourself without speaking. It doesn’t work, you can feel the tears falling as you open your mouth.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Your voice comes out more broken than you wanted it to as your face crumples. “I was scared you didn’t love me anymore, and when you didn’t talk about it…I thought I’d been right.”

Spencer frowns before bringing your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand, voice muffled against your skin. “I was scared. And an idiot. I was scared that no matter what I said, you wouldn’t believe me. It was stupid, and I’m sorry.”

You nod, and even though you’re still crying, the knot in your stomach begins to unwind. “I’m sorry, too.”

Spencer visibly deflates with relief and gently tugs you into his arms, face dropping to your shoulder as one of his hands cradles the back of your head. Your fingers dig into the soft fabric of his worn sleep shirt, feeling the muscles in his back begin to relax beneath your hands.

“I love you so much. Please don’t forget that, even when I’m being an idiot.” He kisses your shoulder to punctuate the statement, his arms gently squeezing your waist.

“I love you too.” Your arms wrap tighter around him, and you feel the smile growing on your lips as you finally feel at peace for the first time in two weeks.

The two of you stand there for quite some time, simply holding each other, before Spencer yawns into your shoulder.

“Can we go to bed now?” He mumbles, pulling back but not letting go of you, a sleepy smile on his face that makes your chest feel fuzzy she warm.

“Yeah, as long as you hold my hand.” You’re half-joking, and you see Spencer’s smile grow as he begins to tug you along to your shared bedroom.

Once you get there, he all but flops onto the bed, but he takes you with him, laughing at your surprised yelp as you land on top of him. Once you gather your bearings, you adjust slightly, resting your head on his chest and curling your arms around him like a koala. You could hear his heartbeat beneath your ear and the sound of sheets crinkling as he pulls the blankets up over the two of you.

“I love you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head when your eyes slip closed, the scratchy five o’clock shadow on his skin lightly brushing your forehead. “Always will.”

You try to say it back, but it comes out a borderline incomprehensible mumble, and you can feel him smile.

He knows what you wanted to say.

[morganski-19]

part 1, part 2, part 3

Wayne stays at the hospital longer than he should. Rubbing his fingers along Eddie’s pick necklace like a rosary. Hoping that if he just prays hard enough, if his voice can be heard, Eddie will wake up. 

The prognosis isn’t great. Each day that passes marks another day where his chances of waking up get lower. Even though many people have woken up from medically induced comas much later than this. According to the doctors. According to the pamphlets given to him at the start of all of this shit. But those are just words. Words he doesn’t believe fully. 

Six days with no changes. No improvement. Just a tube to make sure he’s breathing regularly and an IV to make sure he doesn’t die of dehydration or starvation. The doctors say that his brain still shows activity, and his heart hasn’t missed a beat since he was last revived. Eddie’s alive, but just how much?

How much longer will Wayne sit in this agony waiting for him to wake up? Or how long until the string of hope just ends six feet under? 

Religion was something that Wayne dealt with sporadically. He was raised Catholic, sort of still is a practicing Catholic. Goes to church when he isn’t too tired, still prays, and goes to confession sometimes. Just didn’t always make sense. But now, it’s all he’s got. 

Eddie’s in God’s hands now. Whether that’s the God in the Bible, or some other deity of the many other religions in the world, Wayne doesn’t care anymore. As long as he’s heard, and this being knows his boy is good. That he was taken far too soon. 

Eddie liked to say there was nothing much for him past high school. That he was going to run out of town as soon as he could and fight to make something of himself. Be a struggling musician, find odd jobs. Anything to keep him out of the monotony of a corporate job. Get him away from the conservative views and stuffiness of this town. Somehow get big enough to prove them all that he wasn’t a failure. Or never come back to prove them all right. 

It would be a sad day when Eddie finally left for good. The trailer would seem empty without the life that Eddie brought. The peace and quiet that Wayne always asked for not bringing any peace because it was too damn quiet. He knew this now because it’s what’s keeping him here each day. 

The beeping of the heart monitor was like the heart beating in his chest. Some noise came from Eddie to prove that he was alive. Almost like he was acting himself again. The motel room he was staying in was too quiet. No music down the hall, no clanking around the kitchen, no yelling at the TV or a book. Just the occasional noise if there were neighbors and people driving to the hospital. It was all the wrong noise, though. 

“Excuse me,” a nurse says as she enters the room. “Visiting hours are over, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Wayne nods, getting up from his chair. Back screaming as it pops itself back into place. It’s his day off, or night off tonight, so he can actually sleep. If it ever comes to him. Might be one of those nights where the ceiling and him have a staring contest. He’s been close, but never quite won one of those yet. 

The Chief’s car sits outside of the motel as Wayne pulls up. It’s only been a day since they spoke last, there can’t be that many updates. Wayne can’t think of any other reason he’s here. 

Wayne invites him into the motel room, the urge to offer him a drink screaming at him, but he has none to give. Hospitality doesn’t come with the room fees. 

“I’m guessing there’s something new, that’s why you're here.”

“Not necessarily. I’m still trying, but until the one guy I normally negotiate with comes out of hiding, that’s when the real talking happens.”

Wayne sits down on one of the chairs, too tired to keep standing. “Why’re you here then?”

“To check on you. I know the hospital life well. It’s no picnic, especially if you’re doing it alone.” He pulls another one of the chairs over to sit down. 

There’s no lie in that. “I’m about as good as anyone could think.”

The Chief pulls two beers out from under his coat, handing one to Wayne. He takes it faster than any beer he has in his life. Pulling out his pocket knife to take off the cap. 

“How long till that friend of yours comes out of hiding?”

Hopper shrugs. “Don’t know. Sent him a few threatening letters, and he still owes me one, so we’ll see. If things were better here, I’d go hunt the man down myself.”

Wayne nods. The company’s nice, he can’t lie. Sitting in solidarity with someone who knows what you’ve been through. Making sure nothing’s going worse than it already is. Like a sponsor through the hospital proceedings. 

When the sun finally finishes setting, the chief excuses himself. Not before handing Wayne a slip of paper with his number on it, just in case anything happens. 

The more days go by, the more Wayne is reminded that he’s not alone in this. Not fighting this battle alone. People believe him, more than just kids. People with influence. It shows in how people keep coming in and out of the hospital room. Saying how they know he’s innocent. That he’s guilty of some things, but not this. 

It makes him think back to that afternoon, snapping at the Harrington kid. It’s so easy to be angry at people who are better off, in so many ways, that vision gets blinded. Seeing someone who went through something similar to Eddie get out, and be conscious while his boy is still asleep. Probably will never have to worry about hospital bills and medical debt. It makes him angry. 

Even if the kid doesn’t deserve it. Wayne has no clue who this kid is and how he knows Eddie. Why he claims to have been there in the week Eddie was missing. What it all means. It doesn’t make any sense. None at all. 

But then the next morning when he’s getting coffee, there’s the kid again coming in beside Dustin. Talking to someone at the front desk before heading down the hall. Right to the elevator, and up to the floor Eddie’s on. 

Wayne heads back to the room, ready to kick him out again or apologize. He’s not sure yet. But, the room is empty. Steve is instead down the hall, talking to Susan Mayfield. Looking serious as hell, and halfway ready to cry. 

Another kid comes out of the room, one who’s stopped by a few times to check on Eddie. Lucas, Wayne thinks is his name. Remembers it only because Eddie had ranted a few times about some kid named Lucas trying to be on both the basketball team and part of the Dragons club. 

The kid says something to Steve before he’s being wrapped in a hug and starts crying. Steve just holding him as this kid breaks down. Presumably about the person behind those doors. Wayne assumes it’s probably Susan’s kid. Remembers hearing that she was in bad shape. Hopefully, that didn’t get any worse. 

Wayne returns to his room, not wanting to intrude. A nurse comes in a while later and asks him to step out for a bit. 

“What for?”

“Eddie’s breathing has improved over the last twenty-four hours. The doctor came in to check on him early this morning, and said that if by noon it was the same, the breathing tube could come out.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Wayne’s hesitant to believe anything these days. 

The nurse nods. “As long as his oxygen levels stay, well level, then yes. It means that his body is well on the way to recovery.”

Wayne nods, taking his coffee to the waiting room. There, he just waits.

Next part

Note: The next part of this will get a bit interesting. I've been having ideas for a while now of making this duel POV between Wayne and someone else, maybe Steve. Mainly because I keep thinking of conversations that would happen, but Wayne would be nowhere to witness it. But I think what this fic needs is a POV not directly in the main relationship that will be happening, to keep it an outsider POV fic. So I'm thinking that the second POV would be from either Robin or Dustin. I'm currently deciding between the two so let me know what you think. I'm also going to start posting this to ao3, and will provide the link to that once I think of a title. I will continue to post the smaller parts here on tumblr, and you will not be missing out on any of the story if you only follow it on here. For now all of the parts will also have the tag #morgan's wayne POV. If that changes, as it probably will since this is no longer just a wayne POV fic, I will let you know. Also, Max is alive, they just got a heavy diagnosis that you will learn of later.

tag list, let me know if you want to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar, @tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda, @fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77, @here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium, @resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly, @gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight, @devondepresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug, @greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake, @morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs

[azullumi]

alhaitham, cyno, tighnari — mornings with him (1) ☆彡

summary — mornings with him are often filled with nothing but affection and not wanting to leave the bed.

characters — alhaitham, tighnari, cyno (w/ gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff, established relationship; scenario

word count — 726

a/n — this is part 1 out of 2! i figured it might be too long if i had them all together.

ALHAITHAM

"come back to bed, it's still early." a voice as low as a whisper was heard, immediately grabbing your attention as you were in the midst of getting up the bed. alhaitham who felt the shifting of the bed pulled him out of his dreams and as soon as he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of you planning to leave.

"the sun has already risen and the birds are chirping outside the window." you say as a response to what he has said. as a matter of fact, it's not even early in the morning anymore as it's already nearly 10. the coldness of the room was no more and you could feel the languid ambience of the morning being replaced by the bustling and busy atmosphere of the afternoon.

"and?" he asks in such an unbothered tone like it didn't mean anything to him. does it even matter? it's not like the world will end if you'll sleep in a little bit more and besides, it's a weekend and you didn't have to do any kind of work or tasks today. your eyebrows knitted as you fell into a deep thought before a sigh slipped past your lips.

he took this as a sign of defeat and the corners of his lips curled up to form a smile. he lifted the blanket and patted the empty space beneath it, an invitation for you.

CYNO

"get some more sleep, you need it." cyno could easily tell even from your smallest movements that you have woken up and he immediately speaks, stopping your plans of getting out of bed just so you could start the day.

"cyno..?" you called out to him, voice low and soft that it felt like it will just get lost to silence but the man beside you has sharp ears and incredible hearing.

"yes, (name)?" there was softness in his voice tone of voice which has your heart fluttering.

"i thought you had some duties to attend to for the akademiya?" you say, propping your upper body with your elbows as you sit up in your position, rubbing your eyes as you adjusted your vision to the room. cyno wrapped his arm around your figure and brought you close to him, laying your head against his chest wherein you can completely hear the sound of his heart.

he answers your question, "i do, however, those will be done later. for now, try to get some more sleep. i know you're tired."

"i don't want to wake up without you besides me," you say. sure, you have already gotten used to those moments wherein you'll wake up cold and alone in a bed that feels way too big, however, you couldn't help feeling lonely whenever that happens. recognizing the sadness in your voice, he kisses your crown and assures you:

"don't worry, i will not leave your side."

TIGHNARI

"five more minutes." he says to himself, admiring your face a little longer.

tighnari has no desire to leave the bed even when the sun is already shining and the sunlight is spilling on the wooden floors of his home, warming up the interiors of the room. he just couldn't find the want to leave the comfort of his bed especially when you're sleeping peacefully beside him.

he’s been here beside you for how long already and it’s not like he can’t leave you but it’s just that he doesn't want to leave your side yet. tucking the hair that's obscuring your face, he thought to himself how he wishes to stare at you a little more. he took this opportunity to observe you at a closer distance, the features that adorn your face with a relaxed expression displayed on it.

his eyes trailed over your eyebrows down to your eyes, noticing the length of your lashes. then down to your nose and to your lips that he has felt many times already, the same lips that always beams a smile at him whenever he's within your sight. he couldn't help but heave a sigh.

"just five more minutes and i'll leave," he repeats to himself like a strict rule that he has set for himself and he has to abide by despite knowing fully well that he would end up staying longer than that and not following what he has said.

— navigation | masterlist

[gingernut1314]

As Sweet As Sugar

Gojo x GN!Reader

Summary: Gojo returned late from a three-day-long mission bearing gifts and one important question.

Warnings: Set sometimes during season 1ish, Fluffff, pet names, talk of Star Plasma Vessel Arc, hesitant love, love confessions, cuddles, soft Gojo, nervous Gojo, Gojo's love language is gift giving and physical touch cause....duh lol

Word Count: 3.7K

Setlist:

This Is How It Feels

l-o-v-e

A/N: Because I NEED soft and slightly nervous Gojo so I'm doing something about it 😤 lol I hope you all enjoy!!

Taglist: @sordidmusings @lostfirefly

↞ to Jjk Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

There was a rapping at your door that never seemed to end. Knocking that had woken you up from a very pleasant dream you had been having. It was still dark out, the moon still high in the dark sky and the stars shining brightly. 

One o’clock in the morning is what you read on your clock. 

Who the hell was coming to bother you at such an ungodly hour? 

Probably a student….the amount of times you had been woken up because they “had a bad dream” was more than you might think. But while here, you acted as not only their teacher, but caregiver too, and you were always more than happen to work through it with them. 

When you opened the door, you were not met with the sight of one of your students. No, you were met with the goofy grin of none other than Saturo Gojo. 

And you wanted to get mad. Oh you were pissed that he had come to wake up at this hour. 

“You’re back.” You settled on, rubbing your tired eyes. He had been sent out on a mission about three days ago, his absence all too noticeable…mainly because while he was gone you helped teach his students. 

“What? Not happy to see me?” He all but purred like some damn cat, leaning down so he could look directly into your eyes. You knew he could see perfectly well with that black blindfold on, but with it on you were unable to see the bits of light-filled ice chips that were his eyes. It always… disappointed you.

“You know I’m happy to see you.” You said, voice sounding raspy from having been awoken so suddenly.

“But…” He elongated the word. 

“But it’s one in the morning. I can’t even see straight.” You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “And I’m in my pajamas.” 

“I think you’re pajamas are cute,” Gojo said with a shrug. “Look at those little rubber ducks--where ever did you find them?” He said, pulling a hand from where he had been keeping it behind his back out to pinch the light blue fabric at your shoulder between his fingers, giving it a small tug. 

You swatted his hand away, feeling warm skin against your knuckles. It made your brain short-circuit for half a second because it always did when you found he had turned his infinity off around you. It always did when you touched him. 

“It’s not professional.” If you could have seen his eyes, you would bet your words would have earned you an over-dramatic eye roll.

“You trying to sound like Nanami?” He asked, “We have to be professional. That means we need to look the part”. Ugh--boringggg.” He pulled out his best Nanami impression, which was truly awful and hadn’t gotten any better since the last time he did it.

“Saturo.” You warned, making him hold his hand up in defense. 

“Alright, alright. I’m leaving.” He said, standing to his full height despite the disappointment that grew in your chest. “Sweet dreams…little ducky.” He said, glossy lips pulling up in amusement at his own words. 

“Good night.” You said a small shake of your head. You shut your door but your heart twisted painfully in your chest as you caught the quickest glimpse of Gojo’s lips faltering in their grin. Like he was--sad that you were sending him away. 

You usually didn’t send him away. You were always happy to have him around. To have him unnecessarily close and very much invading your personal bubble. 

Had you meant to send him away now?

You did, obviously. You shut the door right in his face. 

Your chest felt all hollow as your heart gave a painful little drop in panic as you fumblingly rushed to whip the door back open. 

You stepped into the hallway to find he hadn’t made it too far, the noise of your rush having made him pause to turn back to you. 

“Wait--wait come back.” You said, waving him over. He watched you for a moment like he was trying to figure something out. You noticed then he held two little bags in the hand he had been keeping behind his back. Your heart only began to drop faster at the sight. 

“But--”

“Shut up and come back. I’m being an asshole. You know I want you to come in.” Gojo hesitated for a moment longer, a hesitation you almost only ever saw him do when you were around, before he started back down the hall. 

His lips pulled into an easy smile. A smile that seemed--genuine, not full of amusement or cockiness. You moved out of the way to allow him entrance into your room. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just--late.” You tried to find an excuse but it just sounded pathetic in your ears. 

“Hey, don’t apologize. How can a beauty like you keep all that up if you don’t get your beauty sleep.” He said, watching you shut the door behind him. “It’s why I slept on the plane.” You huffed a laugh, shaking your head at him. 

“Sit?” You said, climbing back into your bed which had gone cold from you being out of it for a while. You turned your bedside light on as Gojo took his shoes off, leaving them at the door before he followed. You scooted over, making space for him to sit next to you. As he got comfy, you grabbed for your blankets and threw them over top of you both, shivering slightly as you tried to get warm again. 

Gojo seemed to notice and scooted closer to you, his shoulder pressing firmly to yours in invitation to steal his warmth. You gladly pressed even closer, moving your legs so they were touching his. 

“Why didn’t you just get a hotel?” You asked, looking up at him as you watched him tug off the blindfold. “You usually do.” You’re voice came out softer once his eyes were uncovered and latched right onto you. They always took your breath away. Eyes you could get lost in their deepness--like an ocean. Gojo tossed the blindfold to the ground without care. 

“Eh…I don’t know,” He started, brushing a hand through his white hair as if to smooth it down, though you doubted anything could truly tame its wild nature. “I guess--” He shrugged, “I missed you…I don’t know, it's stupid.” His eyes turned towards the two bags in his lap, fingers picking at the edge of one. 

“Do I need to remind you that you can say anything to me again?” Gem blue eyes cut towards you once more, lips tugging at their corners. 

“Maybe.” 

“I’m not going to judge anything you say. Just tell me. It’s not stupid.” You said, carefully threading your arm around his to hold him even closer to you “I missed you too, you know.” His lips turned upward again. 

“Good. Cause--I did miss you.” You nodded, giving him an easy smile. 

“Good.” 

“I got you something.” He said, grabbing for one of the little black bags and handing it to you. You took it, feeling over its smooth, soft surface. It seemed very expensive. If you couldn’t tell from the feel of it, the name of the shop sprawled across it in thin, gold lettering let you definitely know. 

You protested for a while anytime he would buy you something expensive. You would protest anytime he bought you something inexpensive. You just hated that he was buying you things because it was too kind and he really, truly didn’t need to. But after a while, you had kinda given up cause you saw how much joy it brought him to get you things. 

If it brought him joy, it brought you joy.

You peeked inside and saw several different types of chocolates and sweets that made your smile grow brighter. 

“Thank you.” You looked back up to him and found he hadn’t taken his eyes off you.

“Of course. I got myself some too. Obviously.”

“Obviously.” You chuckled. 

“I was thinking we could try them together. You know--for science or something.” Your chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh that pulled one from Gojo’s chest as well. 

“Science--of course, of course.” You nudged your shoulder against his, making his pale cheeks dust in a pinkish color you loved to see. “Did you want to try some now?” 

“I think you can read minds. Is that one of your techniques I didn’t know about?” You shook your head again and you reached into your bag, pulling out a light pink, medium-sized candy. Gojo was quick to reach for the same one, his a pale yellow.

“It’s in the shape of a little turtle.”

“They had little dogs and rams but I know turtles are your favorite.” He beamed making your heart flutter. 

“I’m gonna feel bad eating them.” You joked, giving a small pout at its cuteness.

“It’s what he was made for. He wants you to eat him. He’s saying, “Oh please bite my head off. I taste so good and sweet. Pleaseee.”. You laughed as he gave another impression. 

“If you insist Mr. Turtle.” And you both carefully timed out the moment you took a bite so one of you wouldn’t have a reaction before the other. You gave a low hum as the sugary candy brust across your tongue. “Mine kinda tastes like strawberry.” You said after you swallowed. 

“Mine tastes like mango,” Gojo said, not bothering to swallow as he spoke. You both watched each other for a moment, nodding at the taste.

“Trade?” You questioned.

“Trade.” Gojo agreed as you both switched the candies. You giggled at the moment, snuggling closer to him as you two took bites of the new candies. “Ah--much better.” 

You two tried a few more candies, commenting on each and laughing at anything and everything. You enjoyed your time with Gojo. Always had. 

You remembered when you had first met him, you a first year and him a second year. You had been just captivated by him. By this famed man, your clan and the next whispered about and there he was, goofing around with his friends like any other teenager would. 

And when everything went to shit, when he went on his mission, only to come back and have it fail and Geto left, you found him hanging around you more and more. 

When you had asked him about it, why he would want to ever hang out with you who was always so quiet, he responded quickly. Simply. 

“Because you don’t expect anything of me.” He said, hands in his pockets as he kicked a rock further down the street. “Because you’re calm.” And so you stayed that for him. A steady calm against his chaotic wild.

“Hey…can I ask you a question?” Gojo asked, voice growing softer in almost nervousness. You knew what he was gonna ask before he had even said it. You knew cause he had done the same thing once before you graduated. Once just before you became a teacher. And once while you two hung out by the stream that flowed just a little ways away from the school. 

You chewed on the bit of chocolate-covered pretzel in your hand, snuggling deeper into his side and laying your cheek against him. 

“Sure,” You said softly, his arm around you tightening the smallest bit. 

“Why can’t you be mine?” His voice was just as soft. A whisper you and only you could hear. 

You never had a good answer. You’d always given him specks of an answers. 

“I need to work on myself.” 

“I need to focus on teaching.”

“Because I value our friendship.” 

And they were all true. Had been true at the time at least, but they had never been the real answer. 

And now, as you took another bite of pretzel, you still didn’t have a good answer. 

“Why would you want that? I’m not special.” You found yourself saying because it still baffled you that he would want to be your friend let alone be something more. 

“But you are. You’re special to me.” He said, voice passionate even without its rise. “I--I really did miss you.” He confessed again, “I don’t like not being around you. I don’t like having to be away knowing you're here without me. I don’t like falling asleep without having seen you and I don’t like trying sweets without you.” You kept quiet, heart lodging itself in your throat feeling like you might choke.

“Do you…not feel the same?” You squeezed your eyes shut tight, forgetting you held the sweet in your hand as you wrapped your arm around his abdomen, holding him tight. 

“You know I do.” You said practically on an exhale of breath. 

“Then why can’t you be mine?” You felt him shift lower so that he could bury his face in your hair. So that he could wrap his other long arm around you, holding you like you might disappear. 

“I don’t…I don’t know.” 

“Don’t lie. Please don’t lie.” He said on a near beg. “Just like how I can say anything to you, you can say anything to me.” Gojo’s finger curled into your flesh as he shifted again. This time, he brought his knee to corral your legs up so that you were curled up and he could fully wrap himself around you like some long, muscle-filled blanket. “Is it because of my Six Eyes?” 

You grabbed a fistful of his shirt as he whispered his last question. Gripped it tight enough you knew your knuckles would grow pale. 

“Yes.” You whispered back as your eyes stung. You felt his muscles tense at your confirmation.

“Because…you’re scared of me?” 

“No. I’m not--why would I be scared of you?” You nuzzled your forehead against his chest, feeling his heart, which was usually so steady, beat near rapidly. “I don’t like how people treat you. I don’t like--they use you. They use you and I hate it. I don’t want to use you.” 

“But you don’t use me.” 

“But I have. I’ve used your friendship. I’ve let it go on because you make me happy and I let it…shift into this and I--I should have cut you loose.” Gojo stayed quiet, only the sound of your heavy breath and his heart filling your ears. 

“Then I’ve used you too.” You huffed at his words, finding them untrue. Wildly so. “I have. I’ve used your friendship because I didn’t want to be alone.” He fell quiet again, a hand moving up your back to find rest upon the nape of your neck. “....please don’t cut me loose.” And despite your better judgment, you nodded.

“I can’t.” You said honestly because you could never find the strength within yourself to do such a thing. Gojo’s long fingers drew circles into your neck, making your skin heat. 

“Is that the only reason?” He asked after a long moment, his fingers never once stopped in their caress. 

“I’m scared of what my clan might do if we…” You let your words trail out, seeming to not find the strength to say them. “That they might use it to use you and I refuse to let that happen.” 

“Then…don’t tell them. Don’t tell anyone.” You pulled away suddenly so you could look into his eyes. Eyes that were--so raw and unguarded now. Eyes that were sad and hopeful and hurt. 

“That wouldn’t be fair to you,” Gojo said your name softly, letting his head fall to the pillow below him. “No.” 

“...should I beg?” You blinked at him. At the sudden switch from serious to goof, though you could see all that seriousness still shining in his eyes. You knew if you truly wanted him to beg you for it, he would. 

“What? No. Saturo--”

“I’ll beg. I’ll get on my hands and knees and beg.” He continued, fingers moving from your neck to grab hold of your hip, pulling you right back in. His face came inches--no, what’s smaller than an inch? Mere millimeters away from your face making your heart begin to twist and thrash about in your ribs. 

He’d been this close before. Again, the guy wouldn’t know what personal space was if it punched him in the face. And you never minded. You liked him close, needed it but--

“Please--” You were begging. Your weak attempt to get him to stop before you gave in. Before you let your heart lead and not your mind. 

“You think I treat you good now just wait. I’ll treat you like a queen.” He continued as if he could sense your weakening will. He’d never been this persistent before. Never fought this hard for you. Typically you would give your answer and he would nod, going back about his business like it didn’t hurt him but now--

“Saturo--” 

“If you’re worried about your clan don’t be. I am the strongest after all.” He said, pulling that unwavering confidence back into his voice. “I can handle anything. Nothing they throw at me wil--” You threw a hand out to cover his glossy lips, stopping him before he could ramble on. He watched you and you watched him as you tried to think of what you would say. 

What would a life with Saturo Gojo look like? 

Would it be the same as it was now? Would it be wildly different? You would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. And you did like him. Hell, you think you might even love him. But…

There were so many buts. So many unknowns when it came to Saturo Gojo. 

But could you keep this up? Keep denying yourself your feelings just because you were scared? 

“If I agree to be yours,” Gojo perked up, “You need to do something for me.” Gojo nodded as if to say anything. You scanned over his features. Over his fluffy, white hair and eyes that were as deep as space itself. You let your hand move away from his mouth, fingertips brushing over the near pillow softness of them in a way that made those eyelashes of his, which looked like they were covered in ice, flutter closed. 

“I want the last of your chocolate-shaped mouse.” You said, making Gojo’s eyes snap back open. “I ate all of mine.”

“But--I was saving that for later.” You shrugged, pulling your hand away fully only for Gojo to snag hold of your wrist, keeping your hand against his skin. 

“Those are my terms.” You said trying to keep your voice calm despite the way Gojo was making you feel the exact opposite. Gojo pouted, nuzzling your palm with his nose. 

“You’re a wicked thing aren’t you.” 

“What? Me? Wicked? No. No, I’m as sweet as sugar.” Gojo’s lips pulled into an excited grin, moving so that his chest pressed against yours, nearly crushing you under his weight. You enjoyed it, more than enjoyed it. 

“Ya you are. Gonna give me cavities.” He said, leaning in oh so close once more. So close the tips of your noses brushed, making your breath catch in the back of your throat. “Fine. I agree to your terms.” 

“Good.” You breathed, your fingers grabbing a fist full of his shirt to keep yourself steady under his unwavering gaze. 

“Are…are you sure? I don’t want to be with me if it’s not something you don’t--” You lifted your head just enough to close the distance between you and him. To pressure your lips firmly against his soft ones. You heard his own breath catch at the touch. You pulled away, finding his eyes wide from the shock of it. His lips opened and closed like some fish out of water as he struggled to find words. 

“I want to be yours. Ever since you came and sat with me by the stream, I’ve wanted to be yours.” You said, brushing a bit of his hair away from his forehead. “I’m scared of a lot of things but--I’m not scared of being with you. I want you to know that and--I missed you. I really really missed you. It’s hard when you're away.” 

It felt like you had been zapped by static electricity when Gojo’s lips claimed yours again. It was shocking but a shock that was quick to fade as you threaded your fingers through his silky hair. 

“Mine,” Gojo murmured against your lips. “Mine,” His lips moved from yours only to press a kiss to your cheek. “Mine,” Again his lips moved to place a kiss to your other cheek. “Mine, mine, mine, mine.” He said, smothering you in a shower of kisses. Kisses that only made his grin wider and wider which in turn pulled a giggling smile from you. 

“Okay--okay yes!” You giggled, placing your hand over his loving lips only for them to litter your palm with kisses. “Hey--I want that mouse. Pay up.” Gojo’s groan was muffled by your skin, but he pulled off of you, reaching for his bag of sweets. As he did, his eyes kept snapping to look back at you like you might disappear. Like this might possibly be some sort of wild dream. You sat up and moved so that you could press your shoulder against his, hoping to ease his worries.

“I’m gonna miss this guy,” Gojo said pitifully as he gazed at the small mouse-shaped chocolate which he had taken a small bite out of already. 

“He’s going out for a good cause.” You said, matching Gojo’s pitiful state. He gave a great sigh, handing it over. 

You took the mouse happily, standing to your knees so you could be level with him. Those eyes watched you the whole time, adoration for you within them so strong it made them shine extra bright. A look that had your heart stopping and had you melting under it.

“We’ll share.” You said, placing the chocolate between your lips as you lend in close. Gojo was quick to snag the other half of the candy, lips pressing against yours firmly. It made that electric shock rush through your skin once more. Made you burn.

“Sweet.” He murmured around a chew, thumb coming up to brush the corner of your lips like there was something there. You pressed a kiss to his lips once more, smiling against them. 

“Sweet.”

bonus scene ->

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Ch 20

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

I promise we will get into the timer stuff soon but I have to build up the plot first…

Content Warnings - None!

You wake up to Finnick gone, a note left on his pillow.

Got called into training early. Didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll see you at lunch.

Love,

Your fake husband

Why was he in training so early? He said yesterday that his training wouldn’t start till after breakfast.

Maybe he was upset by what happened last night. Maybe he didn’t enjoy it.

You let your thoughts consume you as you lay in bed, completely skipping breakfast and most of your morning schedule.

A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts.

“Come in,” you sigh to whoever was waiting. You’re surprised to see Boggs enter.

“Miss Y/L/N, do I need to remind you that you have a schedule to follow?” he asks.

“No,” you yawn. “I’m sorry I lost track of time. What time is it anyways?”

“10:34 AM,” Boggs states. “I’ve been instructed to escort you to your doctor’s checkup, which you are very late to.”

Boggs gives you a minute to dress before he’s escorting you to the hospital. He says Coin isn’t happy that you are already disregarding your schedule and is rethinking your living arrangement.

Prim performs your checkup that morning. She clears you for the day and you make your way to the cafeteria to help with lunch prep.

11:30 rolls around and you finally have a chance to see Finnick. Twelve hours felt too long and you were anxious to face him again. He was sometimes hard to read.

“Hey love,” he says as you sit down next to him with your tray. “How was your morning?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I got reprimanded by Boggs for not following my schedule. I guess that was a serious rule.”

“Sorry about this morning,” Finnick states. “I would have woken you up when they buzzed for me but you look like you needed the sleep.”

“That’s ok,” you sigh, thinking about how sad you were that he wasn’t there when you woke. “Why did they increase your training?”

“Katniss snuck onto a transport that left late last night for District 2,” he explains. “They’re moving up our deployment timeline.”

“Deployment?” you ask, setting your fork down. “You didn’t tell me they were sending you anywhere.”

“Can we talk about this tonight?” he replies.

“I’m not hungry,” you state, abruptly standing with your tray. Finnick calls out for you as you walk away, needing to escape for a bit.

You end up back at the hospital to talk to Prim.

“Could I get an excuse for the rest of the day?” you ask her. “I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh no! Do you need medicine? What’s not feeling well?” she asks.

“I’ve just had a bad day that’s all,” you shake your head. “I can’t mentally handle a schedule today.”

“Why don’t you go chat with Dr. Aurelius for a bit,” Prim suggests. “He’s available now if you want to see him.”

You had never been in therapy before. Dr. Aurelius seemed nice but you didn’t know if you could trust him. What do therapists even do?

“Nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N,” the man states as he enter the room. “I’m Dr. Aurelius. Why don’t we start with how you’re feeling today?”

“Sad,” you reply, unsure of how to properly convey your emotions.

“Do you know why you feel sad?” he asks. “Or what made you feel this way?”

“District 13 makes me sad,” you state as the man writes something down in his notebook. “I have no autonomy here.”

“They allowed you to get married,” he remarks. “Are you happy about that?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I mean I love Finnick but it was a fake wedding for a propo that we agreed to do so we could be roommates here in 13. He’s lived with me for 5 years now. I skipped my schedule this morning and Coin is already threatening to make us live separately again.”

“I see,” the man comments. “Do you find schedules restricting?”

“I guess I do,” you respond. “I mean I’ve spent my whole adult life on house arrest so I’ve never really been able to make decisions for myself. Having a schedule feels like someone is telling me what to do all the time.”

“That’s understandable,” he comments. “I can excuse you from your schedule for today but you will need to find a compromise with President Coin. I will provide you with a list of options for your schedule so you can maybe pick out what you want to do. I apologize that the list is limited but it’s the best I can do.”

You take the list and agree to meet with him and Coin in the morning to discuss your schedule. In the mean time he gives you a “mentally unstable” bracelet to excuse you for the rest of the day.

The list seems meh. You had no interest in learning about nuclear weapons or the history of Panem, and cafeteria duty wasn’t necessarily your favorite.

Reflection time rolled around and Finnick enters your shared cabin.

“You skipped dinner,” he comments as he throws you an apple. You reluctantly take it and eat a bit to ease his worry.

“You skipped out on telling me about deployment,” you mutter.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he moves to sit next to you. “I just didn’t feel like there was a good time to tell you. I was going to tell you before the wedding but you had your breakdown and I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Where are they sending you?” you ask.

“The capital,” he responds. At this answer you burst into tears.

“You can’t leave me,” you sob. Finnick wishes he could pull you into a hug but he knows better than to touch you when you’re upset.

“It will only be for two weeks,” he states. “Three at most.”

“What if you don’t come back?” you hiccup.

“I’ll always come back for you,” he replies.

Taglist:

@randomgurl2326 @mystargirl-interlude @uther-pendragon-is-an-ass @yourdailymemedelivery @americanprometheuss @l3xi3luv @noisyalmonddreamer @nordicvxid @teaganthemorningstar @samatokisunfinishedcigarette @justtrying2getby @lvsticm @notplutos @innercreationflower @nexxus13 @kachelleee @helluvafire @haymitchabernathyslover @memeorydotcom @frostsword @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @giverosespls @honethatty12 @just-levyy @dd122004dd @nekee-lilac02 @impeterporker @nox-the-gay-nerd @redsakura101 @hopefulatrocity @eddiemunson4ever @fangirlvibez @kittimbo @zucchinimalfoy @sleepy-roman @secretsicanthideanymore @writerofadream @vsnrly @mayonesavegana @lilifl0wer @finnickodaddy @abbersreads @fox-bee926 @ginger-swag-rapunzel @isasalom @yizhoutv @livingdead-reilly @imaegonstargaryenswife0

*if the tag didn’t work please check your settings to make sure other blogs can tag you

[wistfulforstars]

For What It's Worth - Part 3

Rex x Reader

Summary: Rex goes to find his brother, and Fox, you've got some 'splainin to do (just kidding, he's a good big brother who's trying his best).

Warnings: reader is afab, discussions of violence, Rex is mad and sad, mature sexual content in later chapters, minors: get out

Tag List (I am so excited to get my first tag request, thank you! <3): @bambiswriting

If anyone would like to be added to the tag list, please comment below or message/ask directly.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

“I can’t believe you dragged me here! Do you really think this was the best place to talk?” Rex hissed. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, swiveling his helmet this way and that at any approaching figures. There were a lot of them, and he was not supposed to be here. Strictly speaking.

Fox, on the other hand, was completely at ease guarding one of the many entrances to the Senate chamber. He stood at perfect attention, helmet impeccably poised, still managing to look bored.

“Please,” he responded, not even looking Rex’s way. “Do you know how many clones these politicians see every day? Do you know how many of them are too worried about their own crooked dealings to even notice us?”

Fox, to his credit, had answered Rex’s furious comm on their private channel right away. Almost as if he’d been waiting for it. The conversation had been typically short, but filled with a little bit more frustration than usual:

Rex: Why the hell didn’t you contact me?!

Fox: I take it you’re back on-planet.

Rex: YES I am on-fucking-planet! Do you have any idea of what I am going through right now?! Have you SEEN her?!

Fox: Come to the Senate building in an hour. Thire will be outside. He’ll direct you to me.

Rex: The Senate building?!

Fox: I’ll see you soon. Over and out.

He’d found his brother as instructed, and as it turned out, the Senate would be debating on several issues well into the night. Aides were running around, refreshments were being brought in, and nobody seemed to give a single care about the trooper loitering around in blue armor instead of red.

There was a lull in the bustling around them, and Fox finally tilted his head slightly toward his brother, “How is she?”

Rex let out a long breath. The long hours, lack of sleep, and pure fucking adrenaline of the day were starting to fray him around the edges, “I can’t stay long, Fox. She hasn’t woken up since I got back. Her friend says it's the medication…I never thought I’d see her like that. She was so still and their fingerprints are still there, on her skin, on her neck, and I can’t…” He placed his hands on his hips, tilting his chin up and counting his breaths. 

Finally, he turned back to Fox, “Why didn’t you comm me?” Some of his previous ire began bleeding back into his voice.

Fox let out a sigh of his own, shoulders falling just the barest amount, “I tried, Rex. Multiple times. You were in hyperspace for a long while. Private comms just weren’t getting through. And I have to watch all my communications, going in or out. They screen the guard heavily for any breaches of conduct. I could only send one out about once per day, between shifts.”

Rex took one, two, three seconds and decided that he didn’t have the energy to yell at Fox for the shitty regulations they were both bound to. He crossed his arms and went to lean against the wall. It felt more like an exhausted slump instead. “Fine.”

“I got her out of there as fast as I could, I swear. Three troopers hit her location 8 minutes after she activated the distress signal.”

“I…I sure appreciate that, Fox. I do.”

“And,” Fox paused as a harried looking aide rushed by. “We’ve got those bastards booked with every charge we can stick to them. They aren’t getting out, not for a long time.”

Rex’s lip curled beneath his helmet. The last of his energy was rising up within him, fueled by worry and pure fucking anger, “I want to chat with them.”

“No.” And there was that note of finality in Fox’s voice. One Rex so often heard in his own. 

“Fox-”

“I said no, Rex. Don’t ask again. I am your brother, and I’m not letting you do something that’ll get you decommissioned.”

A low growl made its way past Rex’s clenched teeth, “And what would you do if it was your girl, brother? What if it were me letting you know that Ularen’s secretary was beaten senseless-”

“If I had a girl,” Fox turned fully towards him. “I would do anything to be there for her while she healed from something like that. I wouldn’t be running around giving the Republic an excuse to put me down.”

They stood, chest to chest, staring daggers at each other through their helmets. Finally, Fox raised his gloved hand and placed it on Rex’s shoulder, “Go. Be there when she wakes up. Take care of her while you can, and give her the guard’s best wishes. The boys who got to the scene are pretty worried about her.”

Rex hesitated, but despite his urge to put his fist through the senate’s beautiful, gilded walls, he gave a jerky nod and stepped back. But before he could turn away, Fox spoke up again.

“But…there’s something else you should know, and whatever you do, I don’t want you to blame yourself.”

Rex tilted his head, confused, “Blame myself? For what?”

Now it was Fox who was hesitating, “Judging on the crime scene and the language the creepy little fucks were spewing when we brought them in… we think the assault might have been…clone-related.”

Rex’s heart dropped into his stomach, “Clone-related.” It wasn’t a question, but he hoped desperately that this conversation wasn’t going where he thought it was. 

“She had a backpack, right? With a bunch of colorful, pro-clone messaging on it?”

Rex swallowed the lump in his throat. He would not cry. He would not scream. He would not grab his brother by the plastoid and throw him against the wall. “Spit it out, Fox.”

Fox fiddled with his utility belt, one of the only nervous tells he ever exhibited. “I took her statement at the hospital myself, once she woke up for the first time. I wanted to be there for her, for you, as much as I could. But she refused to confirm our suspicions. It was like she was trying to protect us, me and the boys, from the truth of it. So she may not admit it to you either. But Rex, that backpack, it was in shreds. They had a knife, and they slashed the hell out of it. They stomped on each button. And then they started going at her.”

Rex didn’t say anything. How could he? What response could he possibly have to, “Oh your girlfriend was targeted by bloodthirsty criminals because she dares to know you?”

“They weren’t exactly subtle in lock-up either,” Fox continued, as he fiddled more furiously with his belt. He pulled something crumpled from it and handed it over. “They were overheard by several guards talking about ‘that meat-droid whore.’”

Rex sucked in air through his teeth, eyes wide, at the awful words. Words that were spewed at you while they…

While they…

And a terrible thought he hadn’t considered before reared up in his mind. A sickening, visceral thought that had bile climbing up his throat. That meat droid whore, they’d said.

“Did they…” he swallowed, mouth dry, breath short. His knees were dangerously close to giving way. “Fox.. did they…”

But his brother grabbed both of his shoulders, practically keeping him upright on his own, “No, no they didn’t.” Fox ground out, slowly, firmly. “Rex, look at me. It was the first thing the medics checked for, the first thing I asked about for her statement. The shitcans destroyed her backpack, hurled verbal abuse, and beat her. That’s the extent of it, and it’s a bad extent, but nothing else happened beyond that.”

Rex, completely numb behind his helmet, nodded vaguely, stupidly. He flexed his dominant blaster hand, sore from clenching into a trembling fist. He was almost entirely out of strength, of will. Seeing you prone in bed had knocked most of it out of him. And now that he knew it was because of his presence in your life, because of your relationship…

He needed food other than the ration bar he inhaled that morning. He needed sleep, more than three consecutive hours of it. He needed you, pretty eyes open and soft voice drifting to his ear like a warm breeze. He felt like he might crumple into nothing inside his armor, might fall to the floor in the senate building and leave it to Fox to explain why…

“She needs you, Rex,” Fox’s voice reached him through the fog. He looked up into his brother’s helmet, so synonymous with his face by now that Rex felt he could read it like it was. He wondered if Fox could read his just the same.

He shook himself, ridding his brain of these sharp, drifting thoughts. There would be time for self hatred and despair. There always was. Right now, he owed it to you to be present. To care for you while you couldn’t care for yourself. 

The nature of your relationship, of its effect on your health, of its longevity, could all wait until later.

He straightened to attention, and Fox seemed to relax, “Thank you, brother. Thank you for getting her out of there.”

Fox nodded, “Of course. Anything you need, you just let me know.”

Rex turned to go, but threw back over his shoulder, “Oh, and Miss Secretary is doing well.”

A beat, a stiffening of shoulders, “I didn’t ask.”

Rex shook his head and started walking. That was one conundrum he didn’t have the energy for today.

He was halfway down the stairs to the senate building when he remembered the crumpled item in his hand. He glanced down, opening his palm, and nearly lost whatever control he had just regained. Stinging tears sprung up in the corner of his eyes.

Glaring up at him, cracked and damaged beyond repair, was the image of a helmet and a bright, cheeky slogan. 

Clones Do It Better.

[ellieluvr420]

We meet again, darling pt.20 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader x detective Ellie Williams)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Violence!! I mean obvi but just so you know LOL

OMG cannot believe the series is actually over. I'm kind of sad tbh but i already have plans for an epilogue that i am rlly excited to start. Now that this series is basically done if you have any requests for me to write or even any questions in general pls lmkkkk bc u guys are so cute to chat to I love it <3

You’re woken by someone slapping your face a couple times, your head throbs and every muscle in your body aches, it’s quiet where you are except for the inhaling of a cigar and the sound of drops of water hitting the floor periodically. You keep your eyes closed until you feel a hand pinching your nose and lips shut. Your eyes fly open only to be greeted with the Met bosses face once again, once he sees you're awake he lets go allowing you to catch your breath. Your arms are handcuffed to a pole above your head and your tiptoes are barely touching the floor, you feel a drop of water land on your head and look up to see the pipe you’re handcuffed to is leaking, as your eyes adjust to the dark lighting of the room you take in your surroundings, a basement you assume with no windows but you can’t see any stairs, only a door out of the room that seemed hundred of miles away.

“Good, you’re awake. Didn’t want you to miss any of this of course.” He smiles sickeningly and your face remains completely emotionless. You watch as he walks over to a table in the corner of the room and you notice the various tools: a taser, a knife, what looks like a big lighter but a small blow torch, there are other things but you can’t make them out from where you’re stood. He follows your eye-line and chuckles as he walks to the table where he picks up the knife. “All you have to do is beg sweetheart and I won’t ruin that pretty face of yours.

“Stop stalling like a little bitch and get on with it already.”

“Stubborn… I like it.” He takes the cigar from his mouth and presses it to the part of your chest that escaped from under your top. You hiss but bite your tongue, you won’t let him enjoy this. He looks at you to elicit your response and his face grows unamused by your lack of a reaction. He takes the knife and drags it down one of your arms, again you focus all of your energy on not reacting which only angers him more. He violently slashes at your cheek and a small squeak leaves your lips more out of shock than anything else. You feel the warm drips of crimson dripping down your arm and you see a small puddle gathering below you, the cuts were deep but not life threatening so you brace yourself for more of this.

“You know you heard that story of me killing a man’s wife?” He huffs at your calmness.

“Yes.”

“I heard stories about your wife too. Where is she?“ His face grows dark and he punches you in the mouth, the taste of iron fills your mouth and your dart your tongue out to feel the tear in your lip that was the source of the blood.

“Shut your mouth you little cunt.” He storms over to the table and grabs both the taser and the lighter. You hold your breath in anticipation until he holds the small blowtorch at the arm that he hadn’t cut. You screeched at the sensation and started to thrash until you heard the sound of the taser being turned on, before you can react it’s being pressed to your stomach. You feel as if every nerve in your body is being set on fire at the same time as you convulse with the electric current, he doesn’t remove it for at least 5 seconds and by the time he does you're slumped as much as the handcuffs will allow, everything is spinning and your vision is shaky at best.

“You sent your wife to jail for your crimes. You’re a coward.” The look on his face was indescribable, you knew you had him where you wanted him.

Abby and Ellie were racing through the streets in Abby’s car following the gps to where your location said you were. Abby had slipped a tracker into your bag when you said you’d be going to kill the Met boss on your own. She knew you’d be angry at her for using one of your own trackers on you but she didn’t care, all she cared about was your safety. Her heart was in her throat and her mouth was dry as she drove as fast as her car could take her to you.

Ellie had messaged you to tell you that she’d be at Abby’s so Jeremy knew to pick her up from there but when the message went unanswered both their nerves spiked, Abby had been watching the stationary tracker since you got there but her nerves only got the best of her when it had been an hour and you still hadn’t moved.

“Get out of the fucking way.” Abby yelled at the drivers in front of her, not that it had an effect. There was traffic everywhere and she felt sick at the thought of you not being okay, she left a symphony of car horns honking behind her as she cut people off left right and centre.

“Abby up here take a left, we’re not that far now.” Abby spins the wheel to the left and the car skids round the corner. As they reached the destination your tracker said you were they both grabbed their hand guns that had silencers on them and jumped out.

They approached the house quietly and checked to see if the door was open but weren’t surprised to find it was locked, they walked round the back of the house and found an open window to climb through. They crept through the house checking each room with Abby leading and Ellie following behind watching their backs. They open a door to see 3 men sitting at a table playing poker and before the men could say anything Abby shot all three, they all fell and Abby took a step further into the room only to see you weren’t there either. She whipped her head round when she heard the quiet click followed by the subsequent whoosh of Ellie’s gun being fired twice, she rushed out to see two men dead on the floor on top of each other. Abby looked at Ellie who was just staring at them.

“You okay?”

“Yeah come on we gotta keep going.” Abby took the lead once again until they reached some stairs leading downwards. Abby turned to look at Ellie and they both shared the same look of hope and desperation. “I’m gonna go down there, stay here and keep watch?”

“Yeah yeah go.”

He lurched at you and as he got close enough you kneed him hard in the crotch and then pulled on the chain of your handcuffs and jumped upwards, you gripped your thighs round his neck and squeezed with all your might. He thrashed around but it only made you squeeze tighter, you watched as his lips turned blue and his eyes bulged out of his head, bloodshot and wide with fear. You squeezed harder one last time until you see the light fade from his eyes and feel him go limp against you, you untangled your legs from his neck and watched in amusement as he crumpled to the floor, it was only after watching him for a peaceful moment that you realised you were now stuck dangling from this pipe. You yank at it but it doesn’t budge unsurprisingly.

“Fuck.”

You’re standing staring at the unconscious man on the floor contemplating where to go from here when you hear a loud bash against the door, and another and another until the door slammed open as the wood splintered and cracked. You were sure it was one of his men but when you saw Abby standing in the doorway staring back at you and the man before you with a look that could only be described as relief your body relaxed and you exhaled the breath you hadn't realised you were holding.

“We came to help you but it looks like you’ve got everything covered here.” She gestures at the man on the floor and you laugh a little, the adrenaline that had been powering you was slowly dissipating and every movement hurt, you winced and she came rushing towards you.

“I actually had no idea what I was going to do from here so thank you.”

“Oh my god, did you just say… thank you?”

“Shut up and help me down.”

“There’s my girl.” She chuckles and starts looking around for something to get the handcuffs off but comes up unlucky. “Fuck it.” She grabs a crowbar she found and starts bashing it on the pipe until the section you’re attached to comes loose from the section next to it which sends you falling to the ground, though Abby catches you before you can. As she’s helping you to lean against her Ellie bursts into the room, the look of pure happiness as she sees you is wiped away by devastation evident all over her face when she notices your condition: a swollen cheekbone painted with purple and black as well as a small cut where the skin was broken open from the large ring you noticed on the man's finger, a split lip and a thick cut across your other cheekbone that was still dripping blood down your face, the circular burn mark on your chest and the large seeping cut going down your arm. She noticed the puddle of blood on the floor as well as the way you were trembling and her heart shattered at the sight.

“Come on we need to get out of here.” Ellie sounds rushed and Abby immediately scoops you into her arms, you put your still handcuffed hands over her head so you could hold onto her neck and her arms sat snug under the backs of your knees and around your back, encasing you in her arms.

“You ready?”

“No, I need to kill him.”

“Fine.” Abby puts you down but still keeps you propped up against her side, you grab the knife and the taser and kneel over him, jabbing the taser straight into his crotch and turning it on until he woke up, when he met your eyes you smiled and blew him a kiss, which looked a little comical because of the handcuffs still around your wrists, before slitting his throat from ear to ear, blood splattered out all over you and you felt euphoric. He choked and squirmed but as he went still and the life drained from his face you nodded at Abby and she scooped you up once again. Ellie stayed in front of you two as you rushed out of the house, by the time you reached Abby’s car your vision was blurry and everything was spinning, your injuries were catching up to you and you just wanted to sleep.

“El get in the back with her.” Abby placed you gently into the back of the car and Ellie followed suit as Abby jumped in the drivers seat and sped away back to yours.

Ellie gently manoeuvred you so you were leaning on her chest between her legs. You hadn’t noticed she was crying until you felt a tear drop onto your face from where she was hovering above you.

“Don’t cry, I’m okay.” Your voice was croaky and barely there but she heard you and nodded. She looked at Abby through the rearview mirror and saw the same worried expression knitted into Abby’s eyebrows.

“Can either of you do stitches?” They both stopped their tasks, Abby treating your burns with the first aid kit you had and Ellie cleaning the cuts that littered your body.

“Seriously?” Abby questioned.

“Yeah. It’s not a big deal if you can’t I just hate doing them on myself.”

“You are not giving yourself stitches.” Abby sounded annoyed but her face was a picture of disbelief.

“I’ve done it before and I did a first aid training course when I was 17. I’ll be fine.” You go to sit up but feel Ellie’s hand gently pushing you back down.

“Just stay still please, I will get you the stuff to do the stitches.” Ellie’s voice is soft but firm and you decide to listen considering all they did for you today. Ellie goes to the first aid kit and brings back everything you need. "Before I give this to you, I have to ask, how long ago were you 17?" You roll your eyes at her before realising what she was saying.

"Are you asking me how old I am?"

"Yes." Abby answers for her.

"I am 33. You're 36." You point at Abby then at Ellie. "And you're 34. Now can I please have that?" You gesture at the medical equipment in Ellie's hand with the finger that was already pointed in her direction, she hands it to you as Abby and her nod at each other in triumph that they finally got the answer to the question they were both wondering about earlier.

They both watch in horror as you stitch your cuts as quickly as you can, once you’re done you all breathe a sigh of relief and you sit quietly processing everything that happened today.

“How did you know where I was?” Abby’s cheeks immediately redden and she looks like a guilty child as she avoids eye contact.

“I tracked you.” You pause, taken aback but a smile grows on your face that even you take a second to register.

“Thank you. Both of you, you saved me from myself today. I shouldn’t have went alone but my arrogance is a fatal flaw.”

“You? Flawed? Pshhhh.” Ellie responds and your quirk an eyebrow at her. You all laugh and once they’ve finished treating your wounds they come to lay down next to you.

"Abby can you pass me my phone please I need to make some calls."

"I think you should rest."

"I will, but I need to ring Jeremy quickly. We need a plane to catch tomorrow don't we?"

"You can book us onto the next flight tomorrow." Ellie chimes in.

"I'm not booking a flight, I need Jeremy to make sure the jet is ready to fly tomorrow."

"The jet?" They say in unison.

"Do you actually think I would fly on a public plane? How would I even do that when I'm officially dead?" They laugh at the snobby tone of your voice but also realised you had a point. Abby gets your phone for you and you ring Jeremy to explain, he confirms everything will be ready for you tomorrow so you thank him and end the call.

"I hope you've had fun in the city because we are never coming back."

"Anywhere with you is better." Abby whispers.

"We'd follow you to the ends of the earth." Ellie adds.

You don't reply, simply choosing to kiss both their lips but all you keep thinking, with a sick smile on your face, is:

'I know.'

[ot8archivesblog]

FanCall (Hyung Line)

꒰ ͜͡➸ Pairing: Hyung Line x Reader

꒰ ͜͡➸ Genre: Fluff, Anxiety, Reader takes care of Hyung Line member, kissing, cuddling, mentions of insults, insecurities, (slight) angst but a lot of fluff!!

You‘ll find the Maknae line on the Masterlist

꒰ ͜͡➸ w/c: 3,1k

꒰ ͜͡➸Masterlist

Chan:

You knew how much Chan loved it to converse with Stay. He loved Channie’s Room as well and you knew how down he had been, when he couldn’t do it any longer but you also understood. It was difficult for Chan’s room to stay as it was, now that they’d become more famous, but the hopes were not crushed entirely yet. He could still sometimes do lives and he was planning to. However, there were also moments that didn’t go to well and these moments often manifested themselves in FanCalls. Most FanCalls were just adorable and Chan always came back home, smiling like a little kid, telling you about the interactions he had with Stay. You could argue that those times were his happiest moments, because he really loved Stay a lot. You always tried to stay off TikTok when those FanCall days were, because you wanted Chan to tell you everything about them first. Today was one of those days. They had just won a few awards a day prior and today had been one of their FanCalls. Chan had been super excited the whole day beforehand and even before leaving, so you hoped they would go well. However, when he came back home, you were met with quite the frown. “Channie? Everything okay?” You got up from the couch, approaching your frowning boyfriend, as he threw his jacket onto the couch and hugged you. “Yeah.” It certainly didn’t sound like he was okay at all. “Are you sure? You sound down. Do you want to talk about it?” You softly let your fingers run through his hair and when he finally moved back a little so that you could see his face, you cupped it softly and smiled at him. “I’ll make something warm to drink and then you can tell me all about it, okay?” He nodded and went to the bathroom to change, while you prepared some hot beverages. After making yourself comfortable on the couch, Chan joined you and pulled you closer. “So, what happened? You were so excited this morning.” You questioned softly. Of course you knew it had to do with the FanCalls, there was no other explanation as to why he was so down after returning from it. “A Fan asked me about Chan’s room…” And there it was. You knew how uncomfortable that made him. He really wanted to continue it too, but he just couldn’t. At least not for now. Maybe if the situation cooled down a bit, he would be able to do it again. “Hey, it’s okay. I know how that makes you feel but I’m sure Stay’s don’t say it to make you uncomfortable. They just miss you, just as you miss them. Don’t be too sad, I’m sure you can do them soon again and then it’ll be okay. So don’t worry too much, okay?” He nodded, the soft features you loved returning to his face as he kissed you softly.

Minho:

It was usual for Minho to wake up early. He was always working out, working on his dancing or just enjoying some quiet time before he had to meet up with the others. Today was an exception. He had woken up even earlier than normally, accidentally waking you up as well. As you looked at the time, you sat up shooting him a confused look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” “It’s fine, but why are you up so early?” You rubbed your eyes, so that your gaze could focus on him. “Today’s the FanCall event.” He answered quietly, knowing you’re still half-asleep. You nodded at that and fell back asleep, not being able to keep your eyes open. Minho may appear rather timid to many, but he is a very soft person. He gets excited a lot about these events but also rather anxious. He knows there are a lot of international fans and he can’t speak English very well, which makes him quite anxious. He always wakes up early on these days, to look through some English phrases just in case. He is learning it in general everyday, even though he doesn’t have to. You always told him that his fans surely won’t mind if he cannot speak it perfectly, because he never learnt but he always says he still wants to try for Stay. He wants to be able to converse with them and speak freely with them. You knew how much he loved Stay and it always filled you with joy when he comes back from the FanCalls and tells you how well they went and how Stay’s always complimented his English and him in general. It was always so cute to see his eyes light up when he told you, or his smile which often happened unintentionally as he recalled those moments. Which is why you were quite surprised when he came home later on, looking rather down. He didn’t even say a word to you, before going to the bathroom. He came back after he changed and you sat down next on the couch to him, staying in silence for a few minutes. Minho was a sensitive person, but he didn’t show it too often. So when he got hurt or something bothered him, he mostly kept silent about it and just got over it himself. From the beginning of your relationship, you had made it clear to him that you’d always respect that and that you would wait for him to open up himself to you, whenever he felt ready for it. So you just took his hand, giving him your silent support, so that he knew that you were ready to listen whenever he wanted to speak. After a few minutes of silence, he softly tightened his hold on your hand before letting go again and you nodded. You got up, making some warm tea for the both of you before sitting down next to him again. “Is it because of the FanCall event?” You finally questioned. The little squeeze of your hand, was basically his confirmation that he was ready to talk, so you figured you could break the silence. It was a silent understanding you two had. “Yes.” “What happened?” You softly held his hand again, while you turned to him. “Do I make people awkward with my English?” Your heart broke at his question. “Awkward? No, why would you?” “Because I don’t completely understand them and can’t give good replies to them. Do you think it makes them feel weird?” “I don’t think so. Winning a FanCall with you is something they really want. And they know about your English, which has gotten pretty good by the way, so I don’t think any of your fans really mind. Why do you think so?” “A fan kind of pointed it out.” “I’m sure the fan didn't mean it like that. Don’t worry too much about it. I see so many edits of Stay’s praising your English and saying that it’s cute.” “Really?” He finally looked at you, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Yes, really. Wait let me find some of those edits!” His eyes lit up with excitement as you showed him the different videos of Stay’s praising his English and praising him in general. 

Changbin:

Changbin loved FanCalls, just like the other members did. He got overly excited and giddy every time there was one going on. He was even more giddy because of the award they had just won a day ago, so being able to converse with Stay immediately the next day was even more exciting to him. He had barely finished his session in the Gym, kissing you goodbye before he left after showering. You loved his FanCalls with Stay. While the Korean Stay’s often disregarded him and ignored him, the international Stay’s just loved him. You had seen millions of edits that supported that and you could totally understand why. Changbin looked amazing, just as the others did. In your eyes, they all could be the Visual of Stray Kids. Their uniqueness, is what makes them so handsome and they all leave a lasting impression on anyone looking at them. But Changbin in particular, left international Stay’s, mostly, in awe. Being one of the rare idols who made it his goal to build a buff physic was what drew many Stay’s towards him and he looked amazing. You noticed his muscles getting bigger each time and you wondered how much bigger they would get. It would be a lie to say you didn’t love it. He could carry you with ease and would be able to do so even if you eve gained weight, which by the way Changbin would love as he had told you many times when you got insecure. Changbin was just a sweetheart, so when he came back home with a frown on his face, you were quite surprised. “Binnie? Is everything okay?” You got up from the Couch, pausing the movie you were watching as you were waiting for him to come back. “I don’t know. Something really bothered me.” He sighed as he sat down next to you. “Do you want to go change and I’ll heat up some of the food I made and then we’ll talk about it?” He smiled softly at you before he nodded, getting up from the couch and making his way to the bedroom. You followed soon, but went to the kitchen instead. It had become a ritual for the two of you, to always talk about stuff that bothered you over food that you liked. It helped keep the positive things in mind. Plus you were sharing it with the person you love most, which also made both of you feel better about whatever situation you were in. After joining him on the couch, with two plates he pulled you closer to him and you leaned in his shoulder, listening to his breathing. The first few minutes went by, as you both quietly chewed on your food before Changbin broke the silence. “It’s about a FanCall, something really bothered me.” He confessed and you leaned back slightly to be able to look at him. “What exactly bothered you?” “I can’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but I just felt uncomfortable.” “It’s really annoying that you cannot hang up on a call if you feel uncomfortable.” You sighed. Changbin was a very emotional person, feeling when something was off about someone else. So him feeling uncomfortable with someone meant that the person gave him a weird feeling. You always trusted Changbin’s feelings. “Well it’s over now. I can understand that it bothered you and that you felt uncomfortable, but you’re home now. I hope you won’t have any uncomfortable FanCalls anymore… Though I wish JYP would allow you to just hang up in moments like these.” “Wouldn’t that be unfair to the Fan though?” Changbin questioned as he took another bite. “Isn’t it more unfair to you? I mean you’re a human being too. You deserve to have the opportunity to end something that makes you feel bad. It’s the same as if someone would force me to stay on the phone with someone who insults me.” “Fair point. Thank you for listening to me.” He smiled softly at you and you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you.”

Hyunjin:

You had woken up way earlier than normally because of Hyunjin’s worried running around. Yawning softly you sat up on the bed and looked over at your boyfriend, who was trying to find something in his closet, in the dark. “You can turn on the light, I’m awake.” He didn’t hesitate a second, turning the lights on and going back to searching around. He was anxious and excited because of the FanCall that was scheduled today. They had just won an award yesterday and were even more excited because a FanCall was scheduled today. You knew Hyunjin always got excited when he got the opportunity to talk to Stay. The edits of him lovingly gazing at Stay made you fall in love with him even more. He loved Stay a lot and always tried to give his best for them. Which explained his worried self running around the room. Saying he was dramatic would be mean though. You knew that many people called him that, but you could understand him in these moments. He got the opportunity to talk to the people who loved him and his music, so of course he wanted to look his best, even though he never looked bad in the first place. “What are you searching for? Maybe I can help.” You got up from the bed, wondering what he was searching for. He had put his clothes and jewellery out yesterday afternoon already, so he couldn’t be searching for that. “My clothes and jewellery! I put them out yesterday but now I cannot find them.” He exclaimed, not turning to look at you. You sighed, going to the bathroom bringing him the things he had been searching for. “You said yesterday that you don’t want to wake me, so you’ll hang them in the bathroom.” You chuckled softly when he turned to you and the realisation hit him. “I’m sorry!” He whined and hugged you tightly. “Careful the clothes.” You chuckled again as he immediately let go. He was still early so he didn’t have to rush. He changed immediately and kissed you softly, before he left for the event. You couldn’t wait for him to tell you all about it when he came back, for now you would resume your sleep. It was way too early to be up. After waking up you quickly made something to eat for later, when Hyunjin returned and figured you could take a peak at TikTok to get some information about the FanCalls. However, you rather got worried than happy as people were calling Hyunjin out for something you were sure he’d never do. It lead you to put your phone away and wait for his return anxiously. You were sure he heard about it too and worried. Since the bullying allegations that had been made against him, you always worried for him as these things affected him easily. And you were proven right once again when he returned home. Nothing of the carefree and happy aura, from this morning, was on him any longer and he just looked tired. “Jinnie, baby, what happened?” You questioned as you immediately went to him, softly embracing him. He leaned his forehead on your shoulder and loosely wrapped his arms around you. “I don’t understand why it’s always me… I really didn’t do anything.” His voice sounded so quiet and broken, that it broke your heart into a million pieces. “I know baby, I know you didn’t. Of course you didn’t. Anyone saying something else certainly doesn’t know you.” You lead him towards the couch, holding his hands softly while looking at him. He didn’t meet your eyes, mostly focusing on your hands. “Jinnie, look at me please.” He looked up at you and the sad gaze nearly brought you to tears. “Stay’s know that you would never do something like that.” “How do you know?” “Because I’ve been on social media since I saw it and Stay’s are defending you furiously. You should see them. They’re so mad.” You let go off one of his hands, pulling your phone out and showing him. While going through the posts and comments you could see his smile returning to his face. “Stay’s love you just as much as you love them, Jinnie.” He smiled at you before you got the food ready and he told you about all the other FanCalls.

[estrellayluna]

Devotion Nanami Kento

Synopsis : Dreaming of your late father, you realized visiting his grave shouldn’t feel like chore nor burden. You change the way you view visiting his grave with the simple pleasures of a bakery that’s right next door to the flower shop.

(This is a bit long, please bear with me)

-

To say you had been woken up due to the early sun beaming through your blinds would be an understatement. Unfortunately this morning you were woken up due to a cold sweat, seeming to gasp for air at the same time.

It has been 5 months since the day you lost your father. And just in 7 days, it’ll be the 6th month mark. The thought of another month since his passing caused you to drown yourself in the comfort of your blankets, trying to block the sun from bothering you anymore along with the rest of your problems.

Hoping to rest just a while longer was cut short to your phone ringing somewhere alongside you. Desperately trying to find the device to put an end to the loud disturbance you answered the phone while mustering the strength to get out of bed.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N) sweetie, how are you?” It was the soothing voice of your mother on the other end.

“Hi mom, I just woke up not long ago actually. If it weren’t for your call right now I would still be rotting in bed.” Your mom let out a soft laugh, causing you to smile.

“Well I’m glad I was of help this early in the morning my love, I just wanted to call you and check up. It doesn’t seem to get any easier for me to make it non awkward for us.” You sighed just lightly hoping your mom didn’t catch.

“6 months soon and I still can’t seem to get it right can I, (Y/N)?” You hum in response to your mom.

“It’s nothing to worry about mom, I’m an adult now. If I were a child I think fathers whole passing would have been a whole different story for us.” You respond calmly while making your way to the kitchen.

Your parents divorced when you were a child. Being raised by a single mother and only seeing your father on the weekends growing up. Most young kids tended to favor the father more but seeing your mother struggle to make ends meet made you see things differently at a young age. Especially once you were understanding of the situation was when your mother told you the truth. Your father was unfaithful to your mother.

“Plan on doing anything special this time around (Y/N)?” Your mother asks as you pour yourself a cup of tea. You paused. ‘Should I tell her?’

Since your fathers passing, you couldn’t really make out what to think about it. Of course you were sad. But ultimately each time you actually sat down and thought about it, you felt nothing. Like a void that was not empty nor full. In the beginning your mother was concerned, causing her to have her own doubts if she had done the right thing years ago in opening up to you about the truth.

But you had reassured her multiple times in the past that even before being revealed to the truth that your relationship with your father was strained. Something you also couldn’t pinpoint as to why. So there was no need to worry she failed to protect you and your relationship with your father.

“I dreamt about him last night mom.” You replied in a hushed tone while sitting down on your small circular wooden table.

“It was a short dream. Though it felt so real. I couldn’t make him out in the beginning but once I realized it was him I broke down. He was two other little kids alongside with him. They were both girls. One at least two years old and another eleven years old,” you started to feel hot tears forming in your eyes “it felt so real mom. I don’t know where people go once they pass but if that was a sign that he’s doing alright I’ll go along with that.” Tears started to stream down your face, your left hand holding your phone up to your ear and your right clutching your chest.

“Well it’s a possibility that could be true my love. When your father passed I liked to think he’s with your older sister sometimes too.”

Your mothers response made you smile, wiping away your tears you let out a small laugh.

“Do you think the younger child must be another’s lovers child?” You respond with a witty tone that makes the both of you laugh.

“Sometimes I wonder how serious and unserious you can be at times (Y/N)” you mother says while calming down.

“You should visit him more often (Y/N).”

Walking back towards your room, leaving the forgotten tea you had make earlier and walking towards your bedroom window to open and let fresh mourning air in you hum in response, “I’ll try my best mom.”

“I forgave your father a long time ago (Y/N), I hope you can as well someday.” Looking over at your clock,

9:35am

“Thank you mom, for everything.” You knew your smile could be felt on the other end for your mother, “I love you so much (Y/N) I’ll try my best to visit you soon, try to have a productive day today!”

After ending the call with your mom, you promised her you would. Starting with making your bed.

-

11:40am

Locking your apartment door behind you and putting your keys in your bag you walked down towards the entrance of your apartment building.

The sunny weather felt like a warm blanket as you walk down the street while soft breezes pass you. You don’t live far from the city’s downtown where all the restaurants, shops and livelihood are.

After the phone call with your mother you had a moment thinking of what she had told you.

I forgave your father a long time ago

The feeling of guilt almost entirely overcame you until you had promised your mother you’d have a productive day.

And you knew deep down inside your father wouldn’t want you rotting away in bed and be a lazy person ignoring their problems.

With almost nothing to do on your day off you decided to visit your fathers grave while the weather is still warm.

You almost never visit your fathers grave, and if you do it always been less than shamelessly 15 minutes.

Shaking away your thoughts as you come closer to the flower shop, the smell of freshly baked goods seem to get closer. Looking past the flower shop, you see an entrance to what seemed to be a small tucked away bakery. You hadn’t noticed until now that there was such a place.

Granted when you stop by the flower shop it was always a swift stop as you tend to always wish to get visiting his grave over as quickly as possible.

Looking down at the time,

12:02pm

It was still early in the day, plus being eager to get about your day you forgot to bring a water bottle with you, you couldn’t see why not stopping for a quick refreshment at the bakery.

-

Walking inside, you were immediately greeted by the smell of the warm sweet treats and the friendly atmosphere. Not too busy but just a little tight for your liking.

Perhaps next time I can plan to take some baked goods with me to the gravesite

Walking up to the counter you order a cup of lemonade and requested a small cup of water to accompany.

Deciding to enjoy and bask in the smell of the bakery you sat down in the nearest small table in front of the window, sipping on your refreshments as well as just looking out the bakery’s window watching as life goes by.

The bakery’s peace was at a mellow stance until your thoughts were interrupted by the doors bell ding, and steady footsteps being heard ushering towards the front.

You looked over to see a tall frame in a dark mocha colored suit sort of frantically trying to get his order in as fast as possible.

Not wanting to seem so curious you look back towards the window, unbeknownst in looking at the man’s reflection.

Tall, blond, fit, nice looking suit. He must be a businessman.

As the man turns around to wait for his order to be ready at the other end of the counter, he slightly leaned back checking his watch in haste, sighed in what seemed of exhaustion, quickly looked up while still waiting

His eyes met yours in the reflection of the window.

Caught, you felt your ears get hot and you looked away from the reflection of his eyes. Looking down, anywhere but back at his.

Trying to smoothly drink quickly the remainder of your beverages left, you got up and quickly thanked the staff before heading out.

As you walked past the window you were looking out of just now you tried your best to not look back in again to see if the tall man was still there. Filled with blush and embarrassment you quickly opened the door to the flower shop.

-

“Yes those are beautiful, I’ll take just a small bouquet of those daisies please.” Smiling at the older lady, and as she starts to make her way towards the back to prepare the bouquet your steps head towards the display of all the other flowers the shop had displayed.

Nothing it was just yourself in the shop you noticed how quiet it was inside, the faint sounds of the scissors being put to work in trimming your bouquet.

Deep in thought of the beautiful colors the flowers came in you hadn’t notice that another person walked into the shop.

“Tiger flowers, vibrant as can be around this time around,” the soft voice of a man says behind you.

Taken out of your thoughts, you look up quickly seeing the reflection of the green tinted windows of the flower shop you see the man from the bakery behind you.

Swiftly turning around to meet the man’s eyes you could feel your whole face feel hot, unsure to smile or apologize for earlier at the bakery.

Looking at him closer, you note his features. His strong facial expressions, his circler metal glasses, and his lips.

Does this man have a permanent frown? He’d be totally more inviting if he didn’t..

Pushing your thoughts away you smiled at the man, agreeing with him.

“Yeah, the vibrant colors are beautiful.” You responded, not sure on how this conversation would go.

Before more words can be said the flower shop employee had just finished your bouquet of flowers you requested.

“Miss (L/N), I got your bouquet all nice and ready!”

In the beginning of the your fathers passing, you had frequent here at the flower shop, and you explained as to why you were buying flowers in the first place to the elderly worker. She didn’t pry but she had vaguely mentioned how certain flowers have different meanings. You can recall how generous she was and how she took care into making your bouquets.

Looking back at the counter you smiled back at her and headed towards her, ready to make your purchase. Not before giving one last smile towards the man.

As you pull out your wallet, you hear the lady greet the man.

“Oh Kento! It is nice to see you again! How are you? Looking at different flowers today? I can assure you those Tiger Flowers can last up to two weeks!”

The man’s footsteps can be heard walking towards the both of you.

“Thank you Mrs. Ua, but I intend to buy white roses this time.” The man now standing next to you stands tall and firm, so tall he’s looking down at the elderly lady.

“Oh well Kento, I’ll just have to keep hoping both of your two’s healing journey will show you how other flowers can look just as lovely placed onto headstones!”

Slightly shocked at her response, you looked up at the man

So he’s visiting someone too? I figured he was probably coming in to buy his significant other flowers

“I’m sure soon enough we can Mrs. Ua,” Kento responded whilst looking down at your bouquet that was placed gently on the counter, “Mrs. Ua, actually I’ll go ahead and change the white roses to daisies as well. And you can go ahead and allow me to pay for this woman’s bouquet as well.”

How many times am I going to keep being heating up because of this man?

Trying to calm yourself down, you quickly object.

“Oh! Oh no, please it’s totally fine! You don’t have to!”Blushing furiously now the man looks down at you, slightly smiling.

“Please, allow me to. It would certainly brighten up my day.”

An excited coo can be heard from Mrs. Ua

-

Had you ever think that you’d be walking now alongside a man you had just met less than 30 minutes ago. No.

Whilst Mrs. Ua was preparing his bouquet small talk had to ensue. If it hadn’t been for the man you had learned name was Kento, he was the first to start.

“Are you headed to visit a love one as well?” He asked you while leaning on the flower shops counter this time, whilst you still faced towards the back. Once again the faint hearing the faint scissors at work.

“Yes, I am. I am planning to visit my late father today,” your heard turns toward the man, slight tilting your head up to look at him, “are you doing the same?”

The blonde man looks down at you quickly before looking away again, facing the shops display of flowers.

“Yes I am, except I plan to visit my friend.” Smiling at him, “as sad as the circumstances may be, it’s nice to meet you-,” before you could say his name, he then finally introduced himself.

“Kento Nanami.” He looked down at you once again.

“(L/N) (Y/N),” you smiled at him, “it’s nice to meet you Kento Nanami,” with a beaming smile.

—

I honestly have no idea where this is going. I started at 1 am, I’m pausing at almost 4 am. Please forgive me!! Also this blog is so old. I am no longer 19 anymore but 21. I hope to get back into writing.

I would love to hear feedback and suggestions to continue this little plot!

[randoms-fandoms]

Hey can I request a kyoya x reader fic with him comforting her though a bad mental health day please if you don’t want to it’s completely fine 

Yep! This is a great idea <3

Warnings: negative self talk, general sadness (but of course Kyoya is there to help you feel better)

Relationships: established Kyoya x reader

Bad days were by no means unfamiliar to you. The fatigue, the hopelessness… it was hard to deal with. But over time you had built a good support system, who were there for you every time you were struggling. Your boyfriend, Kyoya, was especially good. He got to know every side of you, even the sad and scared parts. He knew how to help you.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t scary to ask for help. I want to be with Kyoya but I don’t want to annoy him… you had woken up hours ago after a poor sleep and already felt bad, and hadn’t gotten out of bed since.

Staring at your phone screen, feeling your heart hurt with anxiety, you wondered if you should call him.

Just thinking about speaking, knowing your voice would be shaky and thick with emotion, flooded you with shame.

Instead, you texted him. It was only a few seconds before he replied.

Can I come over?

Of course, love.

That was around noon. It took some time to gather the courage to get out of bed, put your shoes on, and get into your car. You didn’t have the energy to find an outfit to change into, but that didn’t matter. Kyoya wouldn’t mind.

Now, as you stood on the large, fancy front porch of your boyfriend’s home, you were feeling sick to your stomach. What if his parents open the door? I can’t let them see me like this… you worried, thinking about how undignified you probably looked— face red from crying in the car on the way there, hair unbrushed, mismatched pajamas— no way.

Sitting down on the step, tears brimming in your eyes once more, you combed through your hair with shaking hands.

I’m outside

I’ll come get you.

You put your phone in your pocket and wiped the tears from your eyes, waiting nervously. After a minute you heard somebody fumbling to unlock the heavy brass deadbolt, so you stood up and turned to meet him.

Kyoya opened the door too quickly, bumping it into himself. His expression was worried, but melted into relief when he saw that you were okay.

Stepping outside in his house slippers, he wrapped you in his arms. You closed your exhausted eyes and hugged him back, tightly. It’s okay now.

The hug was immensely comforting— you felt the pain in your heart soothed for a moment. You sighed, but it was shaky and too quick— you still felt fragile, like you could break into heaving sobs if you tried to speak.

Minutes passed. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until Kyoya warmed you up. He always did run hot— in the summer it made holding hands and cuddling uncomfortable, but now you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Kyoya patted your back gently and you pulled back to look up at him.

“Would you like to come inside?”

Feeling a little overwhelmed, you just nodded and followed as he led you up the stairs to his room. He closed to door after you.

You sat down on the soft purple couch and picked up a throw pillow to hold on your lap. Having something to hug made you feel better.

Kyoya sat beside you. Close enough for you to feel him, close enough that you wouldn’t forget he was there for you.

“How are you feeling?” Kyoya asked in a quiet, gentle voice.

A tear slipped down your face. Your lips trembled, so you took a deep breath and brought a hand up to wipe away the tears, which wouldn’t stop falling.

“…Not good.” You replied, voice thick with emotion. You tried to force a laugh, to lighten the mood, but the sound got caught in your throat and turned into a sob. Then another. Finally breaking down, you covered your face, trying to stay quiet. I hate the way I look when I cry.

“Hey, it’s okay, you can cry if you need to.” Kyoya gently placed a hand on your arm, guiding your hands away from your face. “You’ll feel better if you get it out.” He said, sincerely looking you in the eye.

Squeezing Kyoya’s slender hand, you inhaled shakily, and let yourself keep crying.

Kyoya leaned into you. He adjusted positions so that he could wrap one arm around you.

You didn’t know how long you cried. By the time it slowed into tearful, uneven breaths and a pounding headache, you felt some of the foreboding pressure release.

Your eyes stung from tears. The muscles in your neck hurt from crying so hard. You felt sleepy, and your head hurt so bad, but Kyoya had pulled you into a comfortable hug. Your back against his chest, his head resting on yours, his arms wrapped around you.

His heartbeat thumping steadily against your shoulder blade, in of tune with your own deafeningly loud heartbeat, resounding throughout your skull.

“Would you like to lie down?” Kyoya asked, whispering. You nodded.

Standing up slowly, you felt like you were waking up from a nightmare. You still felt raw and sad and deeply lonely, but the dread was gone. You cross the room to sit on Kyoya’s bed, feeling a little awkward.

You watched as Kyoya bent down to get a bottle of water out of his mini fridge.

“Have you eaten?” He asked as he handed it to you.

“Not yet.” You replied, absentmindedly pressing the cold water against your wrist. It was a trick Kyoya had taught you in the past to help calm yourself down. You weren’t certain if there was any science behind it, but it was refreshing regardless.

Not wanting to leave you alone, Kyoya pulled out his phone and texted a message, presumably to one of his family’s chefs, to bring a meal up to his room.

“Alright.“ he said to himself, leaving his phone on the bedside table. He rummaged in the drawer for a packet of tissues and handed them to you.

After wiping your face and drinking half of the water bottle, you sighed and got comfortable on the large bed. You closed your eyes, and listened as there was a knock, Kyoya went to his bedroom door and exchanged some polite words with the maid who delivered the platter, and finally your boyfriend walked across the room to settle down next to you.

“Toast, fruit salad, a little cake, some tea… how’s that sound?”

You rolled over, resting your head on your arm, and saw him sat on the bed next to you, spreading the butter and jam on your toast. “Thanks.”

“Anything you need, love.” He said, smiling softly.

You ate slowly. It was a comfortable silence. Once you were full, you smiled tiredly, eyes falling closed again.

Kyoya snuggled closer to you. You felt the question coming. “Did something happen?” He asked.

Contentment now tinged with guilt, you shook your head. “Just a bad day. Sorry to bother you over nothing.” You said.

Kyoya propped himself up on his elbows to look down at you seriously. “I’m glad you came over. I’m glad I can help you at times like these. This—“ he gestured to you lying on his bed. “Doesn’t bother me.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, not wanting to cry again. “But… it’s not fun, looking after me…” you argued.

Kyoya wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer. “I’m not with you to have fun.” He pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “I’m with you because I love you.” He said simply.

You nodded, not trusting your voice. A tear slipped down your temple, into your hair. You stared at the ceiling.

“Wanna talk about it?” Kyoya asked in a whisper.

“About what?” Also a whisper.

“What you’re feeling.” Kyoya took off his glasses and set them on the beside table so he could snuggle closer into the crook of your neck.

You had a lot on your mind, admittedly. “Do you think I’m ugly?”

“Nope.” Kyoya answered without hesitation. He was serious, too, not at all invalidating your fears.

“Are you sure? I didn’t even put on makeup.”

Kyoya sat up and leaned over to look down at you. At first he feigned a serious inspection of your every feature, but he broke into giggles after bumping noses with you. “Sorry.” He said with a quick kiss. “I think you look absolutely lovely.”

You smiled, amused. “Okay… and I guess I’m not bothering you…” Kyoya nodded, laying back down. “But I hate making you sad.” You knew it could be emotionally taxing to love someone who struggled with their mental health.

Kyoya was thoughtful for a moment. “I do feel sad when you’re upset,” he started. “But that’s okay. I love being with you.”

You turned your head to look at Kyoya. He was smiling, lost in thought. Thinking about you.

“Aren’t I annoying?” You asked, carefully watching his expression. “You’re so smart, and I’m not.”

Kyoya shook his head. “Of course not. And besides, I admire your creativity and caring personality far more than any letter grade you could achieve.”

“But why?”

“I love you.” Kyoya shrugged. “I don’t know… I’m not good with words.” He said, blushing a little. “I like how you always give me a hug before you leave. I like when you tell me about the stuff you like. I think it’s nice how you wait for me when I have to tie my shoe, and everyone else walks ahead, and I… I love so much of you.”

“You really do?”

“I really do.“ Kyoya nodded.

You were lost for words. “Huh.” Your mind was simmering down from the negativity, now thinking about what Kyoya had said. He likes me that much?

“So, uh— wanna stay for dinner?” He asked with a shy, but genuine smile.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this ❤️sorry it’s kind of short! Anyway this was nice to write, I’ve never written anything focused on Kyoya before :0 have a nice day!

[ashisgreedy]

Richard Jackdaw xF!MC

“In Your Best Nightmares.”

Tags:Smut 18+ | Smut + Fluff | First Time Together | Sex | ‘Corporeal’ Jackdaw |

WC: 4,800

"If another ghost would dare to tell me he likes you, I'll have none of it; and, if a mortal man tries to steal you, I'll haunt his dreams."

"If you can haunt their dreams… then why don’t you visit me in mine?"

MC makes her way through the streets of Hogsmead delicately clutching a small parcel to her chest. Her feet pound the cobblestone as lanterns light her path back to her hamlet, a pleasant floral aroma wafting from the bag in her hands. She was two galleons lighter as she smiled into the night air, her cloak flowing behind her as her home grew in the distance.

“I got it!” She exclaimed, busting her front door open and yelling into the darkness.

She took a few deep breaths and watched the ghost of Richard Jackdaw float languidly down the short hallway from her bedroom.

“They had some in stock?” He smiled, nearing her with curious eyes. He looked down at the small bag in her hands and tried to take a whiff. He frowned when nothing accosted his senses.

“Yes! The shopkeeper said she had even more Blue Lotus flowers in case I wanted more later.” MC smiled and lifted her hand out to the apparition. It melted into his form as she gave him a wide smile. “She said it was guaranteed to produce results as long as I drank enough for my tolerance, that is.”

Richard moved toward her hand, as if he were leaning into her touch, and gazed into her wide eyes. “Well, this first night will be the test run, I suppose. We shall see how much Blue Lotus flower you must take first to induce lucidity.”

“Richard…” She took a deep breath and slid her fingertips in the air along his jawline. “I can’t wait. I want to take it right now and try to fall asleep.”

Jackdaw smiled and let out a small laugh “My dear, it is still early and you’ve yet to have dinner. Please, eat and go about your nightly routine as normal. Trust me, I won’t forget to remind you about the flower.” His hand moved to her face and she felt a tingle of ice race down her spine. It was a very welcome feeling and something she’d grown fond of since their ‘relationship’ had continued past graduation. She agreed and set the parcel down on her small dining table for now. 

Soon, the evening was in full swing. She lit the fireplace and cooked a meal for one in the kitchen as Richard made conversation. He watched her saute mushrooms over her shoulder. Telling her how he’d love to kiss her cheek at this moment, smiling pleasantly when she blushed.

Despite their relationship being full of “If I could’s” and “Where I able’s”, they’d managed a mostly ‘normal’ relationship in their eyes. Albeit, sometimes one or both were frustrated with their predicament, they still managed to work through it and continue in their blissful dream a bit longer.

The question “How long could this possibly last?” hung silently in the air, always unspoken but appearing as a look or even a gesture between them. It couldn’t end just yet, MC was sure of what she wanted. She wanted Richard for as long as they were both happy… or as happy as a phantom and a human could possibly be. Their relationship heavily weighted on emotional support between the two. Richard was her rock in any situation, happy or sad. They grew together and learned how to comfort one another with their words and fill the other's hearts despite touch and warmth being out of the picture.

Tonight's idea, however, could hopefully change their relationship in ways they’d only imagined. He made it known that an ability of his was to find himself in her dreams most nights. It took concentration and effort, but when he took the time to do so, he was able to witness her dreams as if he were part of it. MC rarely remembered her dreams, but one fateful night, when she’d gone to bed well past 3 a.m., she had a short lucid dream that caused something to change. She could see him clear as day, entirely human. She’d woken up, of course, and hugged her pillow tight as they both excitedly recounted their experience. They needed to try that again and for much longer than a few measly seconds.

When dinner was over, she entered her nightly bath. She poured copious amounts of lavender salts, and other calming herbs, to help aid her body in an easy and deep sleep.

Once she was dried off, she rubbed moisturizer over her parched skin and changed into a comfortable silk nightgown. Revisiting the parcel on the table, she peeled it open and removed three dried flowers.

“Starting out strong?” Jackdaw smiled from where he floated above the table.

“I don't want to risk it not working…” She added the fragrant flowers to a teapot and closed the lid.

“We have all the time in the world,” Richard reassured her. “We can try this every night, spirit willing.” He chuckled.

“And body willing,” She started a boiling pot of water on the stove. “I fear lucid dreaming may not be as deep of a sleep as I need… but I don’t rightfully care at the moment.” A grin split her face as all the possibilities filled her mind. They could be anywhere in reality and of their own creation bound only by their imagination. And, hopefully, they could do anything within those dimensions as they saw fit.

“You’ll care when your work suffers the next day.” He moved to the table and looked down at the book that started it all ‘Lucid Dreaming, The Induction Method.’ It was full of recipes and techniques to induce lucid dreaming in those who were unable to do so or didn’t have time to train their minds to do it naturally. The most promising method was making tea out of the Blue Lotus flower. It was known for causing Lucid dreaming and also a mild hallucinogen if taken in large doses.

“Depends on how good the dream is, I may have no regrets whatsoever.” She shot him a playful wink and brought the boiling kettle to her teapot and filled it slowly, making sure not to splash. “You don’t sound very excited.” She accused in a playful tone. She knew Richard well and his tendency to keep people, things, or ideas at arm's length until they proved themselves worthy of his time. This idea was no different. He wouldn’t be truly bubbling over with excitement until it was proven that it could work in the way they’d hoped.

“I am ecstatic, Darling. I assure you.” He gave her a small bow of his head. “I apologize if I don’t come off as such…”

MC watched the clock, waiting for 5 minutes to tick by for the petals to steep, as instructed by the shopkeeper.

“It’s alright, Dear. I know, in your phantasmal heart, you’re practically leaping for joy.”

With that, Richard's mood rose. “You’re smile is contagious as ever. Your excitement is my excitement. Tonight, we will meet each other in your dreams.” He reached out to caress her face, hand phasing through the skin.

She nodded, a surefire smile on her face as she waited for the minutes to tick by.

As the petals finished steeping, MC poured the lilac liquid into a mug. It smelled of honeysuckle and an assortment of fresh-cut berries. She blew on the steaming liquid and took a timid sip. “Mmm! Not bad!” She said, taking another larger sip. The tea tasted as good as it smelled and she had no trouble taking large gulps.

Richard grinned and crossed his arms. “Well, at least it's not repugnant.”

She pointed at him as if she agreed and took a few more deep gulps.

“Don’t drown yourself, Dear.” He shook his head, laughing a bit as she downed the rest of the tea.

“I will drink the second one slower.” She assured, wiping her mouth with the back of her arm. She poured the second cup of tea and held the mug in her hands. “Shall we be off to bed then?” She quirked a brow with a grin.

“We shall,” He offered his arm as a gesture to escort her to bed for the night. She happily pretended to take his arm and they walked down the hall to her room.

“The tea is making me feel a bit hot, I'm going to keep the covers off for now.” She took a large gulp of the tea and sat it on her bedside table.

“Where shall we try to go?” Richard floated through the room to the unoccupied side of the bed. “The book said, focus on a place until you can visualize it and allow it to build around you in your dream.” Richard sat on the bed next to her weightlessly.

“I was thinking, something as simple as just our bedroom?” She gestured to the familiar space. “I can easily visualize this. If this works, we can go to more complicated places next time.” She yawed, fluffing her pillow as she rested her head on it.

Jackdaw reclined back against the headboard with a wistful gaze. “Shall I sing you to sleep?” He jokingly offered.

“Oh god, no.” She laughed and lay on her side, facing him. “If I wanted to listen to a goose strangling itself, I’d go to upper Hogsfield.”

Richard balked at her comment. “Alright, Alright,” He laughed. “No singing then. Maybe I can tell you a bedtime story?”

MC yawned again and blinked her bleary eyes. The hot lavender bath and the tea settling in her belly seemed to be doing the work of making her whole body relax. She gazed out her bedroom window and focused on the twinkling stars in the night sky.

“I think I will be asleep soon, my dear.” She yawed again, kicking the blankets to the side. “Meet me in my dream, will you?”

“Of course, my love. I will be there.”

His smile was the last thing she saw before closing her eyes. Her breathing was steady and soft, as her whole body relaxed. Soon, she was slipping into the land of dreams.

Darkness prevailed as her mind floated in space. There was a whisper in the distance and MC blinked into the abyss. There was nothing but the void as she slowly became conscious of her surroundings. Another sound came from behind her and she moved her head.

“Hello?” She called out, her voice feeling inadequate in the vastness of the space.

“MC…” The masculine voice came again.

“That's my name.” She said straining her eyes to try and see anything from where the voice was coming from.

“Visualize! Remember?” The voice was closer. “Visualize the bedroom.”

She was confused and let the words wash over her. “The bedroom? What bedroom?" Her mind wandered.

“Visualize your bed.” The voice was right behind her. She spun again but no one was there.

The longer she was in that space, the more memories flooded into her head. She knew that voice. “Oh… right.”

“Remember? The tea? You’re dreaming.” Richard’s voice rang out from all around.

“I’m dreaming!” With her realization, the ground beneath her faded and she was falling. It didn’t feel scary to her, it was exhilarating as the butterflies swarmed in her tummy. She smiled and began to visualize her room. She pictured the bookcase in the corner, the lamp to her right, and the window showing off her small garden on the left.

Soon swirls of blue began to move around the edges of her vision. Her falling slowed to a hover and her room began to form around her. She visualized the navy blue bedsheets and the fuzzy plush carpet, her ceiling with one exposed wooden beam through the middle.

Before she knew it, she was standing in the middle of her familiar bedroom. Things were off, like a candle stick instead of a lamp. The bookshelf was empty instead of filled to the brim with collectibles and knickknacks from her adventures.

A knock came over the door and she flinched. She walked over curiously, feet sliding over the plush carpet as her heart raced. Who could be trying to enter her bedroom this late at night?

“Hello? Who’s there?!” She asked, hand squeezing the bronze knob.

“It’s me, darling.” Richard's voice was muffled by the door. “I-...” His voice trailed off. “It’s your boyfriend.”

Her mind snapped into place. Oh, she was dreaming, and she was lucid! Very lucid! She lifted her hands to her face and made fists. She had all 10 fingers and toes. She was MC, and this was a dream she induced herself. “Ha!”

She swung the door open and smiled at the man on the other end. He was devastatingly handsome, standing several inches taller than herself. His brown wavy hair was perfectly styled. He wore clothes that were several years out of fashion as he clasped his hands at his waist.

“Boyfriend?” She grinned up at him. “I didn’t think we had a label.”

Richard’s features were twisted with emotion as he reached out for her. “Would you like a label?” He asked, stepping closer and finally, finally, touching her face.

MC’s chest squeezed as she closed her eyes allowing the first feeling of his warm touch to wash over her. “Oh.” She bit her lip to stop it from quivering as he caressed her cheek. Not a single chill down her spine, nor an icy prickle on the back of her neck.

His hand moved through her hair and he looked every bit as misty-eyed as she was.

“Your hair…” He let it fall between his fingers “It’s so soft, like silk.”

She cupped his face, brushing a thumb under his eye. “You’re eyes are such a pretty shade.”

A warm smile grew over Jackdaw's face, his dark lashes fanning as he looked down at her hands cupping his cheeks. “I’ve never gotten that compliment before having brown eyes.” His voice wavered with emotion.

“There's a hint of gold flecks in the center…” She added, moving closer to take him into an embrace while still gazing into his eyes. They wrapped their arms around one another, pressing their foreheads together. Richard's hand ran up and down the center of her back, gliding along her silk night dress.

She drank in his corporeal features, very solid, and very vivid. His skin was pale, and smooth, with a single thin scar dashing through his right eyebrow. She smiled and lovingly rubbed the tiny blemish with her thumb.

He drank in a shaky breath “I just want to hold you for as long as I can.”

The bed springs creek under their combined weight as they settle into the mattress. Finally, Richard was able to occupy the empty space meant for him on their bed.

MC giggled, feeling his arms wrap tight around her and their legs twine together.

“It worked… it actually worked.” She whispered, unable to wipe the smile from her face. She played with a piece of his dark wavy hair as his large hand splayed over her stomach.

“It worked… I-I can’t even describe how I’m feeling at this moment.” His eyes looked between both of hers and then down to her lips. “I never want this to end…”

“We have all night…” She answers, leaning in closer to his face.

“I long to feel every bit of you, my love. I don’t want to stop until I’ve memorized every inch of your body.” He leaned in as well, taking a breath before pressing his lips to hers.

There it was, the spark… The spark she’d always known was there between them, waiting to be ignited. As their lips met in a new angle, fireworks went off in her heart. It was a profound understanding, a soul-deep knowing, that they were weaved for one another by something much greater than their minds could possibly imagine.

Richard's hand moved to hold the back of her head, holding her into his searing kiss. His brows were knitted, and she wondered if being here like this took more concentration than he’d previously led on.

“Richard,” She pulled away, worried he might disappear from the dream entirely if they kept on, but his lips slammed back into hers in an instant.

“I can’t stop, I’m addicted.” He spoke between kisses, slipping his tongue past her lips. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted since I met you.”

She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around his neck as he moved to hover over top of her. If he wasn’t concerned, she would not bear the worry as well.

His weight, his precious weight, pressed against her as his soft lips captured hers over and over. It wasn’t long before she was drunk on his kisses, sighing and breathing heavier than before. This was much better than the countless times she’d envisioned this moment.

His hair brushed her cheeks as he moved his lips down her jaw to her ear. He tugged on her lobe gently, nibbling over the cuff of the cartilage.

“Ah…” She let out a pleasurable noise.

“Hm… sensitive ears?” He whispered, running his tongue along the outline. “Let’s see what else I can get away with.” He teased, kissing his way down the curve of her neck.

She gasped when his lips lightly sucked the skin. “Oh… thats nice…” Chills rushed down her arm. 

He moved to kiss her shoulder, lips quirked into a small smile. “I want to know every part of you that makes you gasp, my Darling. So that I may kiss every one of those parts over and over until you are breathless and wanting.”

A sense of pride came over her realizing she made the impossible possible again. She wasn’t sure she’d share this new knowledge with others. Would there be many people who would have the need to touch someone who's long since departed?

His hands moved along her frame, touching every inch of her as he promised. He met her lips again while his hand squeezed her thigh. “Must I ask?”

“No, keep going.” She answered confidently. "And don't stop."

Smooth hands inched their way up her night dress and her heart hammered away in her chest in anticipation of his next move. Her hands moved up and down his back, gently rubbing and caressing him as their tongues mingled.

Their actions were that of two lovers separated for too long and finally coming together at last. Richard’s hands had not stopped, pushing her night dress up until her stomach was exposed. He broke the kiss, eyes connecting with hers. She felt weightless in the wake of his gaze, a look of adoration and starvation riddled his features.

“I love you.” He whispered, his warm hand cupping the side of her face. “I love you more every minute of every day and fall head over heels for you with every smile you give me.”

“Richard…” She swallows the lump that is growing in her throat. “I love you too, and in all things. I love and desire you the most.”

He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners of the expression. “If I could grow old with you, I would. And if you want to live out a life with me in your dreams, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

They were both smiling now, hugging one another and squeezing tight. She memorized the full sensation of him in her arms, the weight of him pressed against her chest, and the softness of his waves tickling her skin.

“I don’t want this night to end.” The words Richard spoke hung in the air.

“Me neither.” She pulled back, pushing his hair out of his face. “I’m actually curious about some things…” She admitted.

“Such as?” His brow quirked playfully.

“I want to know what you like.”

Understanding washed over his features. “I want to know what you like first.” He kissed her jaw then her neck and that spot on her ear that made her squirm.

She laughed, but the sound quickly turned to a gasp when his lips latched onto the skin and lightly sucked. The thin strap of her nightdress was easy to slip down her shoulders. He stopped kissing her. “I want this off.” He indicated the night dress with a tug.

She nodded eagerly. He sat back on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt while she easily slipped the silk dress off and tossed it to the side. He stopped before he got to the last button and raked his eyes over her nude frame. Swallowing thickly, he pushed off his own shirt and moved to kiss from her neck down to her chest. His hands joined his expedition, moving to cup her breasts just as his lips found their way to them.

She touched his pale skin, nails scratching at his back the more pleasurable his mouth felt on her breasts. He took his time, his tongue sliding this way and that, moving in every way possible to find the one that made her moan the loudest. He was studying her body, needing to know precisely how she liked it to use that to his advantage.

Her fingers twined in his hair, pushing him gently to urge him to go lower. Not much else was needed to make Richard move lower. He was eagerly kissing a trail down her body to make it to his goal.

This was a new side of Richard she’d never seen, of course. Something swelled in her heart watching his never-before-seen actions play out in front of her. There was only so far fantasies could go, but they would never tell you the nuances of the situation. Before this night, she would have never known how his kisses left fire in their wake. How he hummed in pleasure after making her moan. Or how soft his tongue’s touch would be once he found her clit.

She fisted the sheets, legs trembling on either side of his body. Richard rested on his stomach, using both hands and his mouth to please her. One hand caressed her thigh, keeping it open enough for him to get close enough to pleasure her. His other hand ran up and down her slit, gently touching and caressing her most intimate parts while his lips and tongue focused on her clit.

His soft hums and delicate licks sent sparks through her body. It was easy to get lost and forget this was all one big lucid dream. The tea had made it feel extremely real. If it wasn’t for the small nuances that were different in the room and the fact her ghostly boyfriend was now a solid man, she could have easily been fooled into thinking this was reality. She tossed her head back wishing this could be her waking life as well. She was quick to bury that wish, replacing it with just being grateful for the opportunity they were given.

His finger slid inside her entrance, slowly moving in and out. She grabbed a fistful of his hair and held him there, silently begging him not to stop. Waves of pleasure washed over her skin. She wondered if this was how it would really feel or if the dream was amplifying the sensations. Her stomach muscles clenched, preparing for an eminent release. The excitement her body felt having her ghostly boyfriend now physically touching her built the pleasure faster than she was used to.

Before long, his two fingers were curling inside just how she liked it causing her back to arch off the bed. She moaned his name and he rewarded her with faster movements and gentle sucking. That was all she needed to skyrocket over the edge. Her body came alive. The room blurred before becoming solid again. She focused on his tongue placement, the feeling of his warm hand rubbing her thigh and on his other hand with two fingers stroking her inside while the orgasm rushed through her.

Once the release ended, Richard took his time kissing up and down her thighs. Her heart rate started to come back down slowly, but he remained low, kissing every inch of her skin. After a time, he made his way up with a trail of kisses, wavy brown strands tickling her skin as he did. It wasn’t until he got to her mouth that he spoke again. “I want you.”

“I want you too.” She replied. It was a breathless exchange as the couple turned to face one another side by side. His trousers were discarded along with any shoes and socks he’d been wearing. She kissed him passionately, hoping the sun was still hours from rising.

Richard’s hand smoothed down her back until he met her thigh. With a gentle pull, he hooked her leg over his waist and moved in closer. As their lips met in a passionate kiss, her fingers ran through his hair. She was still so surprised by how saturated the color was. His usual faded form washed out all his color making it difficult to visualize what he had looked like when he was alive.

It was slow and gentle the way he pressed inside of her. She felt full in an instant and grasped at his shoulder. He paused, gazing at her for a long moment. “Are you okay?” He asked, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

She nodded, forcing herself to take a deep breath. “Yes, yes.” She kissed his pale shoulder, trailing her lips to his neck. “I am perfectly fine.”

She felt him shudder when her lips trailed over his neck. She kissed the shell of his ear and noticed his breath catch. It was a delight learning all these new things about the man she’d been sharing her life with for years now. Her lips met the curve of his jaw before capturing him in another heated kiss.

Richard’s hand grasped her backside, bracing her body for his thrusts. Their moans of pleasure were muffled by one another's lips. He didn’t lose control, and, instead, went at a slow steady pace. The two’s skin began to grow clammy the longer they made love in her dream. She wondered for just a moment if her skin in the outside world was just as warm. His body, his voice, and his passion all washed over her and soon she was unable to think of anything else but how real this moment felt between them.

They lay like that for what felt like hours. The tea doing its job of keeping her deep in this lucid dream with her partner. The dream didn’t start to fade until the sun was already well into the sky. It poured into her room through the window overlooking her small garden.

Her focus faded from the dream and back into her lit bedroom. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and let out a yawn. Her lips instantly curled into a smile, and a profound sense of fulfillment and joy filled her chest. Her nightstand was decorated with her familiar lamp and abandoned cup of tea from the night before. She glanced over at the bookshelf that was now full again with all the knickknacks she’d acquired over the years. She was sure she was back in the waking world once again.

She turned over on the bed and noticed Richard’s translucent form resting next to her. His back was against the headboard, arms crossed and eyes closed as if he were sleeping. She could only imagine just how much concentration infiltrating someone's dream could be, let alone being an active member of it.

She swiped her hand through his form and he immediately roused, uncrossing his feet. His eyes fluttered open and a bigger smile than she’d seen in a while was plastered on it.

Despite not being able to hug him at this moment, she felt closer to Richard than ever. They easily slipped into a conversation about how the experience felt for them and what they’d like to try next time. Not even an ill word from her mother could wipe the smile off her face. Even if the whole world was against them and their unusual relationship, at least she knew that their love transcended the boundaries of life and death. Where there was love, there was a way, and nothing could take that away from them.

She would treasure every moment with him, in waking and in her dreams. There was nothing they couldn’t do despite it being unconventional. She thought about how they could arguably do more than a normal couple could making her deep sense of love feel even more nurtured and reassured. Nothing could keep them apart. Not time, nor space, nor death itself.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 44

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 41, part 42, part 43

Wayne’s getting really tired of being woken up this way. He thought choosing the room over Eddie’s would be a good idea. Even if it was close enough to the kitchen that he can hear the cabinets close and the dishes rattle. That he could deal with. He was used to living with thin walls.

What he wasn’t used to was living with this many fights that didn’t directly involve him. It’s nauseating. They do it repeatedly, never getting tired of it. Fighting over everything possible, finding something new every time one of them walks into the room.

He doesn’t know what to do about it. He doesn’t know how to get them to stop. It hurts because he knows why they’re doing it. It’s so easy to force the anger out at someone who’s willing to take it. Hurting themselves more in the process without realizing.

It’s just a horrible endless loop that’s haunted them for weeks. It needs to stop.

Wayne makes his way downstairs, hearing clips of the argument as he walks to the kitchen. It keeps jumping from topic to topic. Insults flying with no rhyme or reason. Only meant to hurt.

“Maybe if you stopped moping in your room and actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t be in here yelling at me,” Steve yells.

“Well maybe I would if you actually went out and tried to do something with your life. That way you wouldn’t smother me.”

Steve huffs. “Back to this really? You need to get some new material, Munson.”

“And you need to get some new moves. Since the old ones don’t seem to be working anymore. Nancy’s here all the time and hasn’t fallen for a single one of them,” Eddie snarls.

“I already told you, she’s not interested anymore. I’m not—”

“Clearly,” Eddie interrupts. Finding the strength to stand up. “All that work for nothing. She doesn’t want you anymore.”

Steve starts to deflate, the fight waning. Eddie hitting the nerve he wanted. Waiting for Steve to hammer the final nail in the coffin before storming out and leaving. Making it so Eddie is the one that’s most hurt. So he isn’t in the wrong.

But Steve doesn’t say anything. Wayne can see the tears start to build in his eyes. The way his body shuts down.

It’s finally going too far.

Eddie doesn’t see the signs, seeing Steve’s defeat as a victory. One that he doesn’t want, so he continues to bite. “I think I’ve finally figured you out Harrington. Big house, big personality. It’s a call for help really. Trying to make it seem like you have everything, when in reality, you have no one to share it with. You overcompensate to hide the fact that you can never make anyone stay.”

Wayne’s jaw clenches. His fist tightens. It was too far.

Steve laughs, voice wet. “I didn’t mind you fighting with me because I knew why you were doing it,” he says with such pain it stings more than any insult they’ve thrown. “But sometimes, Eddie, you’re just mean.”

He leaves the room. Not going to outside to clear his head. Not leaving in a huff. Just a sad walk with his arms crossed, and eyes spilling over with tears. Up to his room, locking himself away.

“You happy now?” Wayne spits. Tired of this. Tired of himself letting it get this far. “You finally got what you wanted?”

Eddie’s legs shake as he sits back on the stool. His face contorting with anger and pain. “I don’t want to hear this right now.”

“Well, that’s too bad.” Wayne moves to block Eddie’s path to his room. “You don’t get to run away this time. Not when you’ve been doing nothing but hurting yourself and everyone around you. I let you do it for longer than I should.”

“You let me,” the anger in Eddie’s voice returns. “You can’t control me.”

“No, I can’t. But I can call you out when your bullshit anger is actively hurting the people around you. I can’t make you stop, but I can try to.”

Eddie forces himself to stand. A breath getting sucked in through his teeth as he tries to walk away. “I’m the one who’s had my life ruined. I deserve to be angry.”

Wayne lets him push past him, knowing that if he doesn’t, Eddie might fall. But he doesn’t let him get away so easily. He’s following after every step Eddie takes.

“You do deserve to be angry. I’m angry too. I see you suffering, and it kills me. It kills me to know that you will never live life the way you used to. But you know what I’m not doing, making everyone else’s lives miserable because of it.”

Eddie tries to close and lock the door before Wayne can get in. It doesn’t work. He’s not letting Eddie run away from it this time.

“Wayne,” Eddie almost pleads. The anger dissipating into the pain that caused it.

“No, you need to hear this. That boy,” Wayne points in the direction of Steve’s room, “let us stay in his home for free. He’s the reason we aren’t homeless right now. Not because he pities us, or because he’s lonely as hell, but because he cares about you. He has shown that a million times over. He lets you scream and taunt and be just outright fucking cruel because he knows that you don’t mean it. He knows that he can take it. But you went way too far today.”

Eddie’s legs give out as he tries to on his bed, making him fall the rest of the way. Wayne would go over to help, but he’s too caught up in his anger right now. He’s not sure Eddie would let him anyway. With the way this has been going.

“You’re hurting,” Wayne continues, forcing his voice to soften. “We know that. It’s why we’ve let you do this. But you can’t keep sulking in your room forever. Taking out this anger that you have out on us. Be angry. Hell, I am too. But you don’t get to hurt people just because you’re in pain.”

A sob breaks out of Eddie’s chest. His whole body shakes as he curls up in his bed. “I just want to be normal again.”

Wayne sits next to him. A hand reaching out to comfort him. The words starting to get clogged in his throat. “I know you do. I do too.”

“Every day I wake up and hope that this is a nightmare. That I won’t wake up in pain. But it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know how to live like this.”

“You learn how to. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. It sucks, it really fucking sucks. But each time you get up is a day that you keep living. That’s how I like to think about it.”

Eddie shakes his head. “Maybe for you. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if I died that day. I would be dead, but you could remember me as I was, not as I am. Weak and helpless.”

“No,” Wayne insists. “No, I don’t think that. When I look at you, I see the strongest person I know.”

“I don’t feel very strong.”

“I don’t think I would in your situation either. But I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Eddie puts his chin on his knee. “You really think I can just get used to this? Just go and live a life where I’m in pain. Where I can barely walk on my own sometimes.”

“You’re not the first person to go through something like this and you won’t be the last. Not all of them had that determination that you got. I am certain that you will find a way to keep going, you always do.”

He lets out a wet laugh. Hands coming up to wipe his cheeks. “I really fucked this all up, didn’t I?”

“That I’m not sure of. I think that’s something you got to figure out yourself. But I have my hopes.”

“You really think he cares that much about me?” Eddie worries at his lip.

Wayne sighs. “You must think I’m stupider than I am. I can see the way that boy looks at you. He’s not trying to hide it at all.”

“I know,” he admits. Voice sounding hollow. “It scares me. He barely knows me. One day he’s going to look at me and realize that it’s not worth it. See everything that’s wrong with me and leave.”

“Maybe. But I think you’re not giving him enough credit. Not giving yourself enough credit. How are you going to know what will happen if you don’t even try?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You annoy me so much sometimes you know that?”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

The room falls silent. Becoming calm again.

“You better apologize to him.”

“I will. Just going to give him some space first.”

Wayne nods. Standing up. “Good.”

Later, when he’s getting ready to go to work, he sees Eddie walk out to the backyard and sit next to Steve by the pool. They’re talking, shoulders losing their tension as the playfulness returns. Eddie was right, whatever that is going to be is scary. But Wayne has some hopes that he’s keeping close to his chest.

note: yes, you will see that pool scene. And a few others scenes that just happen between Steve and Eddie. The last two chapters will be the epilogue, one from each of their perspectives. Speaking of, we're getting close to the end (I say that like this won't still be posted for months). This is the second to last Wayne pov chapter. There will be 16 chapters in total (64 parts), this is chapter 11 right now. Shout out to everyone who's followed this so far, knowing you love this story as much as I do really keeps me motivated to keep it going. I see every reply, reblog, and like, and it makes me smile.

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[goldenempyrean]

I Missed You

〚 Pairing- Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛

〚 Notes - Currently working on the BeachHouse AU but I wanted to get this out first! Enjoy some sad and weepy Nat :p 〛

〚 Summary - You're off on a mission when Nat starts to feel unwell. And even with her bestfriend at her side, Nat's finding it hard to be alone when she gets sick for the first time in years. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 2100 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Are you sure you’re meant to be working right now?” Clint asked casually as he strolled into the kitchen, raising his eyebrows at the woman slumped over a pile of paperwork at the table. 

Natasha looked up at him, her eyes tired and glassy. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "I'm fine," she said, her voice hoarse and cracking, “We both have some much work to do, shouldn’t you be getting your own work done instead of pestering me.”  

“God you’re crabby today, aren't you? And for your information, I’ve already got mine done. It’s easy to concentrate on it when you don’t have a head packed with snot.” He teased and smirked at the disgusted look which grossed her face. 

“You’re gross.” She sniffled thickly – he wasn’t exactly wrong though. She’d woken up feeling a little off a few days ago, there was that lingering soreness at the back of her throat that didn’t quite go away even after getting some water, but she’d put it down to being a little stressed. 

But much to her annoyance, she’d only felt worst throughout the day until she eventually woke up this morning feeling truly awful. But there wasn’t much she could do about that now. All she could do was try to focus and get her work done. 

Clint only shook his head as he began to search the kitchen cupboards for cereal, “Don’t you think you should atheist take a break?” He suggested as he started pouring multiple different kinds of cereal into one bowl. 

“I don’t need too,” She mumbled before quickly bringing her hands to her face when she sneezed loudly, groaning a little afterwards at the pain it’d caused in her throat, “I’ll live.” 

“Well, I’d be more intitled to listen to you if I weren’t terrified of what your girlfriend would do to me if they find out that I’ve let you work while sick.” Clint fake shuddered whilst simultaneously nudging the tissue box at the end of the table closer towards her, earning himself another eyeroll from her.  

But behind that sarcastic front Nat couldn’t help but feel a pang of misery, she missed you so much. Unfortunately, being an Avenger often meant having to go off on solo missions and while the two of you usually made it work, Nat couldn’t help but miss you more than usual. All she wanted was to be cuddled in your arms as you whispered sweet nothings into her hair. But alas, here she was, sick and feeling so very alone. 

Clint noticed the change in her demeanour and sighed softly, “Hey, I know it’s tough, but you can’t keep pushing yourself like this. You need to take care of yourself, and I’m sure your girlfriend would want that too.” He said while mentally kicking himself – he’d been so caught up in his own work that he hadn't even noticed how much Nat was struggling until it was too late. He made a mental note to check in on her more often in the future, to make sure she wasn't feeling overwhelmed or overworked. 

Natasha nodded slowly, her eyes drifting towards the tissue box. She knew he was right, but she hated feeling weak and vulnerable. “I know,” she said softly, “But I just feel so useless when I’m not doing something productive.” 

Clint walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, mentally noting the heating radiating from her bare skin, “You’re not useless, Nat. Sometimes rest and recovery is the most productive thing you can do. And trust me, Y/N would much rather have you healthy and happy than sick and miserable.” 

She sighed, knowing he was right. “I just miss them so much,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, “I haven’t been sick in years and the first time I do, they’re not even here.” 

It wasn't just the sickness that was making her feel this way. It was the fact that you weren't here with her. You were always her rock, her safe haven, and without you, she felt lost and adrift. You’d been the first person there to comfort her during the blip, the first person to stand by her after taking down the Red Room. You’d always been there. And while this definitely wasn’t the first time she’d been away from you; this was the first time it’d ever made her feel this lonely. 

Clint squeezed her shoulder gently, “I know you do. But you’ll see them soon enough, they’re meant to be home later tonight, aren’t they? I'll get Jarvis to set an alert for their arrival but for now, let’s focus on getting you feeling a bit better, yeah?” 

Natasha nodded and reached for a tissue, blowing her nose loudly. Clint chuckled, “That’s the spirit. Now, how about I make us some tea and we can sit down and go through this paperwork together?” 

However, as Clint went to turn on the kettle, he noticed the increase in her sniffles and turned around. His heart sank as he saw the silent tears running down her cheeks as Nat held her head in her hands, seemingly unable to think of anything other than you.  

Forgetting the tea, he quickly hurried over to her, sitting down and pulling her into a tight hug, his worry only increasing as he felt the small shivers running down her arms as Nat leaned began to sob against him, “I-I'm sorry,” she muttered, “I’m being ridiculous, but all I can do is think about then and that they’re not here and they could be out there hurt somehow on their mission and I wouldn’t know because I-” 

“Shh, Natty.” Clint soothed quietly, rubbing her back gently as her sobs continued, “If Y/N was ever hurt on a mission, we’d know instantly. Jarvis has their vitals always monitored. They’re okay Natasha, now I know you don’t feel well so we need to get this fever down, it’s only going to make you feel worst.” 

“There’s fever patches in the fridge...” Nat mumbled through her sniffles so quietly that Clint almost missed it entirely, “Vision made me put some in there earlier.” 

  Clint nodded, mentally thanking Vision for his wisdom. He continued to hold Nat for a little longer before slowly releasing her, swiping a handful of tissues and pressing them into her hand so she could clean up her face a little, "I'll get them for you and finish off that tea. I want you to pack this stuff away," He said, his fatherly tone seeping into his words, "No arguments this time. Pack it away, you're not working anymore. That's final." 

After receiving a small nod, Clint went to search through the fridge before finding the small packet and setting it on the side as he re-boiled the kettle to make some tea – making sure to add in a generous squirt of honey. He knew how tough it was for Natasha to admit weakness or vulnerability and seeing her break down like that made him realise just how much she was struggling. By the time he’d finished making the tea though, Nat had cleaned up the table a little, her piles of paperwork sitting neatly in one small stack whilst she sank down a little into her chair, muffling a chesty sounding cough into her elbow. 

Mentally grimacing at the sound of her rattling chest, Clint placed the tea down in front of her, "There you go," He offered a comforting smile to his partner, "hopefully that will help your throat a bit. Now I know you’re not going to like this, but do you think you’d like to go lay down for a few hours? I’ll finish up your work for you.” 

Natasha gave a weak nod, her eyes looking a little watery once again as she took a sip of her tea, "Thank you, Clint. I'm sorry for being such a mess," she murmured, her voice hoarse and strained from her coughing. 

Clint shook his head, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "You don't need to apologize for being sick, Nat. We all get like this sometimes," he reassured her, "Now go lay down, get some rest. I'll take care of everything." 

With that, Natasha slowly stood up from her chair, wobbling slightly as she did so. Clint quickly moved to steady her, keeping a hand on her shoulder to keep her steady. "Easy now," he murmured, "Don't overdo it." 

Natasha gave him a weak smile as he led her towards her bedroom, her steps slow and unsteady. Once they reached her room, Clint helped her to sit down on the bed before tucking her in with a soft blanket. "Get some rest," he said, his voice gentle, "I'll come check on you in a little bit. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you." 

On his way out of her room Clint couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness in his heart as he thought about you, wherever you were, and how much Nat missed you. He knew he couldn't replace you, but he would do his best to take care of Nat in your absence. Instead he’d concentrate on getting her work done so the two of you would have nothing to worry about except each other when you finally got back. 

〘✧✧✧〙 

The sky was dark by the time you’d finally gotten home that night. The compound was quiet, most of the agents had left for the day and most people were already in bed so it was safe to say you were surprised to come into the kitchen to see Clint sitting over the table, eating pasta as he stared down at the files in front of him. 

“Hey.” You called out quietly, seemingly startling him a little. 

“Y/N!” His face lit up instantly as he got up from the table, coming over to hug you, “You’re back finally, thank god.” 

You’d be lying if you said his reaction didn’t puzzle you a little though, “Yeah, sorry the flight back took a little longer than expected, is everything alright? Oh, have you seen Nat too by the way? I texted her to tell her I was home, but I think her phones dead or something.” 

Clint pulled away from the hug, his brow furrowed with concern. "Nat's not feeling so well actually. She's got the flu I think, she’s probably sleeping still." He gestured to the files on the table. "I’ve just been doing her paperwork. She really missed you while you were away Y/N, like really missed you.” 

“I’ll go check on her then,” You sighed, hating that you weren’t here to take care of her, you knew Nat rarely got sick and whenever she did, it usually hit her hard, “Thank you though,” You said genuinely, giving Clint an appreciative smile, “Thanks for looking out for her.” 

“It's no problem. Nat’s important to me, I wasn’t going to just sit there while she suffered. She’s going to be so happy to see you.” Clint nodded, before going over to the table to pick up his bowl of pasta, “I'm gonna head to bed soon now thpugh, I’ll finish that in the morning.” 

“Goodnight Clint.” You gave him a final smile before hurrying off in the direction of your bedroom. 

As you reached your room, you made sure to quietly open the door, not wanting to startle her. But once the light flooded the room, letting you see the outline of your girlfriend, your heart sank. Nat was curled up beneath the blankets in one of your hoodies as she tightly hugged one of your favourite stuffed animals. Even in the dim light, you could see the dark red grasp of a fever clutching to her cheeks.  

Not wanting to disturb her more than necessary, you silently got changed out of your suit into some comfy thin pyjamas before gently climbing in bed next to the sleeping widow. You’d intended to not wake her up but despite your best efforts, the redhead stirred a little as you settled down into the duvet. 

“Shh, baby, It’s okay now. I’m here, okay?” You whispered quietly, as Nat sleepily shuffled up into your hold, welcoming your touch as you pulled her close against your chest. 

“I missed you.” Her raspy voice barely louder than a whisper before sleep pulled her back down into its hands. 

“I missed you too moya lyubov',” You murmured softly, “I’m here now, okay? And I'm going to look after you.” 

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13 @mahalkitanova @romanoffskisser @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @shin-conan-kun @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @ceiestiaie @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @blackwidow-3 @asiangmrchk13 @lovelyy-moonlight @juiles @lots-of-pockets