#And angst *ahem*
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Restoration (Chapter 10)
I cut this one a bit short since I want the next one to be long. THATâS where Iâm deciding to put the TWO scenes I thought of. It will make you cry, and at the same time make your heart melt. Anyways, enjoy!
Word Count: 3.1k
CW: Witnessing a birth, mentions of death, Thatâs all for this one!
10-RykerÂ
Everything was going downhill.Â
There were warnings everywhere around the neighborhood I lived in. That humans living here should find a place to stay on the human side of the city. The riots were getting out of hand. Of course that was something to worry about, but I was really just worried about one other thing. Where would Lucky and Angela live?Â
They canât stay here. If those people come around and they find them, I donât think I could ever forgive myself if something bad happens. It was better if I find someplace for them to stay. Away from the people that want to kill them. I was not about to let something bad happen to them because I kept them here.Â
I had talked with Jasmine, and she said we should take down all of the elevators and hide the human room in case someone decides to barge into our house looking for harbored humans. It was smart, but it might take a while to get rid of all the elevators. There were a lot. I still didnât have a place for Lucky and Angela to go.Â
Nathan could always⌠no. Thatâs asking too much. Taking care of my own siblings? I couldnât ask him to do that. Iâm sure his mom doesnât want two other people to look after either. I really didnât know what to do. Maybe if I ask? No. Nonono. No asking. Iâm sure Nathan already has his own problems to deal with. I canât put more stress on him. The movie last night was great until I thought he would be fine if I just grabbed him. He absolutely freaked out and I didnât know why I even did that. So could he really handle a four year old who absolutely loves hugs and a fifteen year old who is just so full of energy and loves playing sports. Is that a good combo with someone who was wary about being touched and hates the cold weather? No. I donât think so.Â
I groaned, leaning against the kitchen island and burying my head in my hands. What do I do? I canât just give them to some random person! What if they hurt them or something worse? I guess I could always call Lucky, but what fi they take away his phone?Â
There was small giggling from in front of me. I picked my head up, seeing Angela holding up a picture she drew. Of course I can barely see it when sheâs standing so far away, but I just forged the best smile I could and scooped her up. She giggled even more, hugging the stuffed panda Nathan had given her. Speaking of⌠I need to find him a gift.Â
âWhat is it, Angel?â Â
âLucky told me we have to leave. Is that true?â She pouted. Nothing goes unsaid in this house. Everyone finds out eventually. I would of had to tell Angela sooner or later. Or at least before she had to leave and go live with someone else for a while. It might actually be harder for me to watch them leave.Â
âIâm sorry, Angel. I just want you to be safe.â I apologized, but she only hugged what little portion she could of my thumb. Like I said, she loved hugs.Â
âI donât wanna go thoughhhh.â She didnât let go. I sighed, lightly pressing the back of my finger up against her back. I smiled softly, âYouâll miss me?â She nodded her head, finally letting go as I pulled my finger away. She was jut a kid, I canât tell her that some people want to kill her just for being born. That would be bad. She wouldnât understand yet either.Â
I set Angela back down on the counter, watching her take the elevator back down probably to go see what Jasmine was up to. I still remember the day she was born. Everyone was shocked. Mostly my parents, but I remember being excited to have another baby sister.
ââââââ
We could barely hear the crying. The doctors stared in shock as they held the tiny human-sized baby in their palms. Mom was barely conscious while dad was telling her how beautiful she was. None of us could see her face. She was too small. Isabelle was asleep on the couch, Dylan and jasmine stood there shocked at the events that just took place, meanwhile, Lucky was smiling. He was going to have a human sized sister.Â
The doctors told the news to our mother, who was even more shocked than us. They carefully handed her the tiny life that had immediately stopped crying after she was safely in my motherâs hand. Mom had started crying happy tears, cooing at the extremely tiny baby she was holding.Â
âItâs rare, but happens. The baby is completely healthy and otherwise normal.â The doctor smiled, reading off the clipboard. I walked closer, the doctor moving out of my way so I could see. She was so tiny. Maybe the size of my fingertip. I smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.Â
âSay hi to Angel, Ryker.â Mom laughed, a shaky hand reaching to the infant. Angel? I liked that name.Â
Soon enough everyone was gathered around the hospital bed. Mom didnât let the younger ones hold her, only Jasmine and I and Lucky since he was a human. When it was my turn, I swear I heard a tiny little giggle escape the babyâs mouth. I smiled, looking in awe at how tiny she really was. Adorable.Â
Angel was passed back to my mother, who held her all throughout the night. We never once heard her cry at night. Not at all when she was a baby. We needed some help to get her baby clothes since none of us could fit in a human-sized store except for Lucky, who was barely eleven at the time. Dad asked a few work friends, who were happy to help. When they werenât around, mom had to use a pipette to feed her. One tiny drop at a time.Â
ââââââ
Mom loved her so much. She kept on saying that she was an angel, so thatâs what her name would be. Angela. We call her Angel because thatâs what mom called her. She really was an angel though. Mom never had a hard time getting her to sleep, feeding her, rocking her. Even if she was so much bigger than her own daughter.Â
So, I was not about to let anyone just watch her. We were all so protective of her because of how she was brought into the world. Supposed to be a miscarriage, but here we are, with a happy little sister. I couldnât let her see the bad part of life yet. It would make me a terrible older brother.Â
As for Lucky, I didnât want him to go back to a place where no one wanted him. Where he was afraid. The adoption center we found him in treated him badly as he was the only human there, so I was just glad I convince him to come with us. Now look at him. He was glued to Dylan and wasnât scared of anything anymore. Could I let him go back to that terrible place? No. I will not be at any point in time.Â
Nathan was my only choice. I didnât trust anyone else, and I couldnât let them stay here. Plus, Angel and Lucky like him. I doubt Nathan is able to physically hurt someone anyways. It was my best option. Now I just have to hope that heâs okay with it.Â
I picked up my phone, and texted him.Â
âââNathanâââ
My phone went off. I was in my room finishing off one of the books the librarian recommended to me. I picked up my phone, stuffing my bookmark where I left off and checked my messages.Â
Ryker: Sorry for bothering you so much lately, but I have a hugeeee favor to ask youÂ
I already knew what he was going to ask. After what we saw on the news last night, Iâm sure he was looking for a place Lucky and Isabelle could be at. Assuming I was the only other human he knew besides his own siblings, I was probably his best bet. I donât mind though. Lucky and Isabelle are both my friends so how could I say no?Â
Nathan: Youâre not bothering me :)Â
Nathan: Whatâd you need? Â
Ryker: Could you maybe watch Lucky and Isabelle? Just until this whole riot thing blows overÂ
Ryker: You donât have thoughÂ
Nathan: Itâs fine!Â
Nathan: I kind of expected this after last nightÂ
Nathan: Let me just make sure my mom was okay with itÂ
Ryker: TYSM youâre the bestÂ
I laughed, placing my phone back on the desk by my bed and heading into the living room where my mom was finishing up some papers for work. She smiled when she saw me walk in. She took the day off to finish up her work and stay with me. School was cancelled until after Christmas break because of what happened last night. The riots were getting out of hand, and people nearly died. She just wanted to make sure I would be okay at the house alone. Apparently I wouldnât be alone all that much this time.Â
âH-hey mom,â I started, âRyker asked if his human siblings could stay here. B-because of what happened last night. He doesnât want them to get hurt and he just asked if they could stay here for a week or two?âÂ
She smiled softly, putting her pen down, âOf course! You sure it wonât be too much on you? You know Iâm working all week.â I nodded my head. If I can take care of myself and my mom, then Iâm sure two others wonât be too bad. Plus, Iâm sure my mom has some tips for Angela. She absolutely loves kids.Â
âAlright then, I canât wait to meet them!â She cheered as I walked back to my room. I knew she would say yes, I just had to make sure. Itâs nice to know I can start slowly repaying Ryker for everything heâs done for me. This was just one small, insignificant way to repay him.Â
Nathan: Yeah they can come! When though?
Ryker: Ummm in about three hours? Bus stop?Â
Ryker: I donât want go at night and I want to get them as far away from here as possible
Nathan: Sure!Â
Nathan: Iâll be waiting
Ryker: Thank you so much Â
Nathan: Anytime :D
Three hours wasnât that long. I could finish my book and get ready to head out. I donât know if my mom would want to come. Probably not since sheâd most likely have some kind of greeting for them. Maybe sheâll just summon a gift out of nowhere. She does that sometimes. Iâve learned to never underestimate her when it comes to gifts.Â
I finished the book, ending with the main character presenting his portfolio while also reflecting on everything thatâs happened to him. His brother died, his other brother was broken because of it, he had to be the one to fix his family, and he did it. I liked it. It was a sweet ending. I still had about an hour and a half left until I had to go pick up Lucky and Angela. What should I do in the meantime? Well the first thing that pops up in my head is to bake. Because of course it is. Itâs my main coping mechanism and itâs easy to do when youâre pretty good at it.Â
Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed everything I needed for just some basic cookies, measured everything up, mixed it, and put it in the oven. My mom had appeared out of nowhere and sat down at one of the stools.Â
âSmells good.â She smiled. I smiled back, taking a seat in the stroll next to her.Â
âEverything alright, Nate?â She asked. She knew when I bake itâs because something is wrong. Today though, I was just doing it for fun. Also because I didnât want Lucky and Angela to come without me giving them something. Iâm just trying to make a good impression.Â
âYeah. Just making them a little gift.âÂ
âYou care a lot about Ryker, donât you? I mean, you are taking care of his own siblings for him,â She started, placing a cold hand on my shoulder, âHe sounds like a nice friend though.âÂ
I nodded my head, âHe is⌠Iâm just trying to pay him back. F-for everything.â I started playing with my hands. Iâm no longer as scared as I was before I met Ryker, Iâve been able to have someone to talk to, Iâve had the experience of actually having a friend, and I feel bad that I canât give him anything back.Â
âNate, buddy, a good friend doesnât ever ask for something in return I hope you know. You donât always have to pay him back.â She advised. I sighed. I knew that⌠but I wanted to do this. It was the right thing. Was I just about to abandon his siblings to be left in that neighborhood where people were practically trying to weed out any and all humans on their side.Â
âI know. But itâs nice to know that Iâm at least helpful in some way.âÂ
My mom patted me on the back lightly, making me sit straight up and offer a nervous smile. She muttered a sorry before heading back to the living room to finish her paperwork. Five more minutes until the cookies were done. I couldnât do anything else for Ryker except do what he asks me to. I mean, thatâs what it means being a human right? You canât do anything for anyone if theyâre not the same size as you, yet a giant can give so much to a human, and still give more to their own people. Wait⌠Why was I thinking so hard about this?I didnât even expect Ryker to give me anything. Ah. Iâm spiraling again.Â
I took the pan out of the oven, seeing the perfectly golden-brown cookies. They smelled delicious as always. Â
ââââââ
I waited by the bus stop, constantly checking the time and immediately stuffing my hands back into the warmth of my pocket. I canât wait to get home, get under the blankets, and cuddle near the heater. Weird? Donât care. Iâm freakishly cold right now, and it was only getting closer as Christmas came around the corner.Â
Ryker came into view, a sad look on his face. Right. Parting ways with his siblings heâs lived with his entire life. Why do I get the feeling Jasmine was going to threaten me again? I shuddered at the thought, but smiled and waved as soon as they had stopped in front of me.Â
There was no way in heck that I was ready to see Ryker standing up to his full height from the ground, so I just focused on something else. The many cracks in the sidewalk, how many pieces of grass stuck in between the cracks. It helps. Only a little though.Â
First up was the goodbyes for Angela. Jasmine was slightly crying, but she wiped those tears away. I knew they were close. Isabelle had hugged Angela up close, and then Ryker and Dylan all gave her a makeshift hug. Angela ran up to me, giving me a tight hug. I only slightly jumped, trying to seem comfortable around Rykerâ siblings. I admit, the ugly bothered me, but was I just supposed to deny a four-year old child a hug? I remember when I was little that was all I wanted.Â
Dylan joked around with Lucky before letting him down on the ground. Lucky waved a goodbye to everyone. I was kind of surprised that was it. Then again, he was fifteen. I doubt heâd want his own siblings embarrassing him in front of me. I wouldnât think anything of it. Not like I donât do anything embarrassing all the time.Â
âThanks again. You didnât have to.â Ryker thanked me, giving his best smile. I couldnât help but catch the way the edges of his mouth twitched. This was hard for him to see them leave. It would be hard for me too if you only had your siblings left in the world and now they had to leave because it wasnât safe for them. Maybe they donât trust me all too much⌠If thatâs the case then I was their only hope.Â
They had all left, except for Jasmine, who crouched down and brought her face close to me, a mean and annoyed look on her face. I let out a quiet squeak, backing up. Lucky just stood in front of me, shaking his head. He doesnât have to defend me-Â
âIf I find out that they even have the slightest little bruise, Iâll murder you.â She promised, standing up and now joining the rest of her siblings. A shiver ran down my spine.Â
âAh donât take her seriously. Sheâs a real softie once you get to know her.â Lucky patted me on the back while Angela grabbed his hand. Yeah⌠Only joking he says. I think she means it when she gets that close to me.Â
We walked back to my house where my mom handed them a plate full of my cookies, which they both gladly took and ate in the matter of seconds. My mom sat with Angela in the empty room playing, âtea partyâ with whatever stuffed animals Angela brought. Meanwhile, Lucky and I were watching a movie on the couch in the living room.Â
âThanks,â He started, I picked up my head, âRyker told me about what happened last night. When he tried to grab you I mean.âÂ
I looked down at the floor. I still feel bad about it. Who wouldnât? He wasnât even trying to hurt me and I just⌠Agh.Â
âYouâre not afraid of him in general, right?â He asked. I quickly shook my head. He could never purposely scare me. Itâs what he can do that scared me. Not to mention that I sometimes get those terrible nightmares which make everything a million times worse. So, no, itâs not Ryker Iâm afraid of.Â
âWell, all I can say is that youâll feel better if you tell him about whatever happened to you. I know from experience. Heâll help in any way he can.â Lucky flashed me a smile, then continued to watch the movie.Â
Would he really though? Anytime Iâve ever told someone and they tried to help, they just give up on me about two weeks in. Whatâs so different about this time? That itâs someone my age? I think that makes it worse.Â
But, maybe it wasnât such a bad idea⌠maybe I should?Â
âââââââââââââââ
Ahhh oh how I love when it ends with a rhetorical question. Will he? Will he not? Hahaaa I canât wait to post the next chapter. (Iâm crushing my own soul with this one) :D
Thank you for reading!!!
(Also, WHATTTT two chapters in the span of 24 hours?? Impossible)
#g/t#g/t writing#g/t community#sfw g/t#G/t fluff#restoration#oc: nathan#oc: ryker#Oc: Dylan#Oc: Lucky#ahhhhh#Iâm so excited for the next one#Yâall will hate me#But itâs for the FLUFF#And angst *ahem*#This story is coming to a close!#Maybe a few more chapters#Maybe some drawings bc why not#Thank you for reading!#love you guys â¤ď¸
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AVA 11 SPOILERS!!!
hiii heres a screenshot redraw of agent angst (got lazy on the chair a bit hehe
+closer look at orig image
this is the ONLY TIME we see agent go through something so far i think. so obviously i took this chance to draw something like cmon now the material is RIGHT THERE
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava agent#AHH I JUST REALIZED THE SPOILER TAGS ARENT EXACTLY COVERED UP#let me just fiiix that#okay i think im good to go!#ahem.#god.thsi episode man#i didnt expect agent to appear AT ALL i genuinely screamed âWHATâ when i saw him#ive seen someone say agent has survivors guilt and i 100% AGREE#like. he WITNESSED mitsi die. he was RIGHT THERE#and witnessing death and just merely watching death (referring to vic here) has its differences methinks#to think agent had to relive the memory of mitsi dying again via that memory machine. ough#poor guy really#love ya angst material! (i have a love/hate relationship with it)#lilacsart
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i feel like a fish swimming against the current in a river of angst enjoyers as someone who wants to make those characters happy for once
#i think. fandoms are allergic to happiness#ahem.#gravity falls#ahemâŚ.#everybody: doomed toxic yaoi#me: yeah but what if theyâre happy in the end#what then huh#gonna be honest guys this is about 2 ships specifically and theyâre both fiddlefordcentric#fiddlestan#fiddauthor#đđ#both can have their happy endings btw#i love happy-in-the-end fiddlestan where they start working on the portal together then like. kind of literally grow old together#& i love happy fiddauthor where they go through their angst but end up fixing things between them in the end#also college fiddauthor hi#uhhhhm yeahg#this post can be about. whatever characters u want though this isnât limited to gravity falls#thisâs a common occurrence
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Springdad funfact !!! This is him before and after having a family. Bro got fluffier over time :]
#ahem ahem i made some springdad angst does anyone want to see it#part of the reason why he got better is because he had to cook healthier food for his children (and ended up eating his own food)#the main reason is cuz he has a family and that makes him very happy :D#springdad au#fnaf#springtrap#william afton#my art
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Curtwen Week Day 2: Chimera
#woah- an Owen centric piece from me?#really branching out this week wow#in all seriousness tho- I did enjoy drawing this and Iâve realized I simply must draw Owen more#because I like drawing him#lotta angst potential with this guy#love him#definitely one of THE characters ever#anyways something something Owen right after the fall being saved by chimera#uhhhh fun fact now#fun fact: the most widely eaten fruit in the world is the banana#(but Iâm allergic to them so if I were Curt the incident simply wouldnât have happened)#AHEM anyways#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#Curtwen week#Curtwen week 2024#Curtwen#owen carvour#agent owen carvour#Joey richter#spies are forever fanart#my art#tw blood#cw blood
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You writing Hollow Words is gonna be like the ending part of Happy Place where Caine goes unhinged
Hm, I'm not gonna lie and say it won't be like that
After all, it's impolite to be deceiving
Why give false hope or bother teasing?
I know what Caine needs, though you may not agree
But I'll publish this fic, and with me here you will see
HOW ANGSTY IT CAN BE
#EMOTIONAL TRAUMA AND TORTURE AND AGONY#*ahem*#Yeah so Hollow Words will have quite a bit of angst#I'm pretty excited for it#Also my God does this song slap#The Ringmaster's Written Reminders#Hollow Words
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*hug Kinito*
YOU SOOOOO CUTE!!!
Thanks, seems like he needed that (:
#this took surprisingly long#seems like my artblock is not over entierly...#tho his design now is awesome for animating!!! no calculating angles and geometry homework masquerading as a character! yuppie!!!#anyways... sorry it took so long lol.... hope you did not forget about this ask already hahsdhfh (:#ahem. onto normal tags now#kinitopet#kinito the axolotl#kinitopet fanart#kinito fanart#prosto cup of art#kinito pet#kinito my beloved#p s there is also a secret horror version that i might or might not finish#yk... cause he's evil and stuff... i cant make fluff without angst and cant make angst without fluff#it is like ying yang of this angly bastard
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Raaa I dislike this in multiple ways but I gave up fixing it so I just decided to post. Enjoy the baby angst
Why are his glasses missing? Simple, in this AU he doesn't have them yet (and also they make him look like a grown ass man and hes a child heređ) what about his red forehead dot thing? Uhh. Reasonable lore explanation and I totally did not forget.
Anyways! For context, this is part of the fic version of the Masked AU. I was gonna make a short comic for it, but i got too ambitious, and so the angst taxes took a toll, and now you get only this much. Have little guys hugging because they're all each other have in their small world. They r future spicynoodles in this AU:)
#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#mk monkie kid#lmk mk#lmk red son#red son lego monkie kid#angst#lmk angst#Lmk Masked AU#lego monkie kid angst#me when uh umm when uh#mk is on the brink of shattering mentally forever#bc of a particular experiment he jut went through#and he doesnt get to see red son as much as he needs#but he has him#and then umm#then they get torn apart#and mk has to go through even more#and is put alone in the cell sobbing his tiny heart out#and begging not to be alone#cuz all he wants is red son#but hes not there#and he like cant even breathe because hes so terrified out of his mind#and then the exact second red son sees him again he clings to him so much and wont let go#even though hes not a super touchy person#and now theyre both holding on for their dear small lives#bc it feels like the world ends the second that they let go#ahem#anyways#spicynoodles
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zombiezombiezombie
#limbus company#ishmael limbus company#canto 5 spoilers#moroderdraws#i like cranberries but tonight ive realized i never did any art for their songa#*songs#so i started with the classics#i also dove deeper into ishmaels story. for some reason thinking her modern au role made me insane abt her#i love her so much. no doubt i began thinking abt meurmael theyre my two favorite meow meows#its a common thing for me. ahem#didnt mean to derail into shipper ramblings under a neutral angst piece im sorry.
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May I request James Norrington & Governor Swann + 57. Sacrifice?
57. sacrifice
ââŚand though I hate to leave Port Royal as it is, laws suspended as they are,â Governor Swann says, arms crossed tightly behind his back as they recess on the quarter gallery of the Endeavour, âit is the price I have paid to see herâand you, mindâ safe again.â
Safe. Norrington grips the rail before them and considers the price he has paid for his own security. He lifts his eyes from his sunburned, white-knuckled hands to the wake of the Flying Dutchmanâs warpath in which they sail; Davy Jones has been hard at work, hunting and destroying so many pirates under Lord Beckettâs yoke.
Governor Swann looks at Norrington without seeing him, occupied with his own sins, and asks in a low voice, âIsâŚis there a chance she lives, James?â
âWe can only hope,â he says hoarsely, though he cannot bear the thought of seeing Elizabeth again, and forces himself to watch as the mast of another ship sinks beneath the bright ripple of sea foam to the depths.
send me a prompt, get a drabble! â¨
#or: when james is like 'that doesn't absolve me of my other sins' in his death scene#i am twirling my hair and asking 'haha and what would those be?? âşď¸'#and also: so much of port royal's population is executed on orders that beckett has governor swann sign#and we just DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!#ahem. anyway! thank you friend!!!!! deliciously primed for angst <33#pirates of the caribbean#james norrington#weatherby swann#drabble requests
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What do you Mapicc would have do if Spoke had died when he was under the void? đ¨
Starting another day off with angst, fun.
Actually gave this a bit of thought, and honestly, idk if I can give a for sure answer, I can just go off my own vision of his character.
Obviously if Spoke really did die there, it would affect Mapicc a lot. It's very clear how much Mapicc cares about him. Despite how he claims it's hard to deal with Spoke at times, he still sticks with him and tries to help him.
They're friends, closer to a very brotherly bond, so obviously it would be hard for him, but he'd probably still finish the job by dealing with the mafia and Ash, and just... keep going. Maybe he'll bring the carrot civ to life in his memory.
#â inbox .#veing very dramatic right off the bat hi#i still want carrot civ to be real#ahem#angst yeah hello#i do think he'd bw very upset if spoke sacrificed himself#like partly even at spoke himself#I'm in the perfect mood to talk about sad stuff rn ig
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Uh, so, I saw this kickass piece of fanart by @thwipped and whoops, innit:
---
If caught and asked about it, Jamie couldnât have explained why he did it.
Actually, no. Scratch that.
He could have explained, probably. He just wouldnât have cared to.
---
The way it goes is this:
Heâs been with Richmond for a couple of months and havenât those been the longest fucking months of his life, because yeah, âcourse itâs fun being the best fucking player on the team, âcourse itâs fun hearing the fans chant his name, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, and getting a bit of rest from his dad ainât bad either, but Richmond is a shit club with a shit manager and the only fucking bright spotâ
Well. Thatâs turned out to be shit too, hasnât it.
At least Jamieâs killing it, at matches, at training, every fucking time he steps onto the pitch. No one can fucking touch him, dominating yeah, and todayâs been a good day for it too, what with the photographer on the sidelines snapping picture after picture for some promo or other. Jamie didnât pay too much attention to the details, just made sure they got him from his best angle (every angleâs his best angle), and thatâs that, until a couple of days later when he walks past Hopkinsâ (or Hugglesâ?) empty office and sees the photos spread out all across the desk.
And well. âCourse he steps inside to have a look. Bound to be a bunch of him looking fit as fuck, right, and who doesnât want to see that, and maybe he can grab one for Keeley, bet sheâd love it.
There is a bunch of him looking fit as fuck, no surprise there. Difficult to choose the best one really, theyâre all fucking brilliant (âcause heâs fucking brilliant), and heâs deliberating between an action shot of him about to score one of the prettiest goals this sad fuck of a club ever saw and a shot of him afterwards, chin raised against he blue autumn sky like a hero out of a movie or something. Gorgerous, innit.
And then his eyes fall on a picture of Roy.
A picture of Roy fucking Kent. And. Like. Itâs not even anything special, not like Royâs actually doing anything in it, it's just a stray shot of him caught unawares with his shirt raised to wipe the seat of his forehead and heâsâ
Heâs. Uh.
Fuck. Jamie stares and he stares and he stares because for all that his old attraction to Roy didnât survive five fucking minutes of actually being in the same room as the man, thatâs justâ
The shorts riding low on his hips. The dark hair trailing down and down, and the glistening drops of sweat on his forehead and Jamie can fucking smell him and thatâs not sexy, is it, except it really fucking is, and those arms, and something unguarded and vulnerable and the real Roy Kent is a royal cunt but the Roy Kent in the pictureâ
Heâs something else, isnât he. Heâs fucking fit. (Okay, the real Roy Kent is that, too, but it kind of fades in the face of him being an insufferable old twat and all that.)
Jamie grabs the picture. Doesnât let himself think too much about it. Shoves it in his pocket and walks away, feeling it burn, burn, burn against his side.
---
When Jamie was twelve his mum gave him a poster of Roy Kent and Jamie was over the fucking moon. When Jamie was twenty-three he met Roy Kent and Roy Kent glared at him with unmitigated disgust and okay, fuck you too, mate. Youâre not even that good anymore, and still you expect everyone to fall at your fucking feet, do your fucking bidding and make like youâre the fucking king, and fuck that, the king is dead, old man; long live the king.
Thing is, looking at the picture now itâs not that hard to forget about the real Roy Kent (nasty bastard) and remember the Roy Kent (fucking legend) that looked down on Jamie from his bedroom wall and whispered encouragements in the back of Jamieâs head and, a little later, featured frequently in fantasies of a different sort.
Picture in one hand, cock in the other, Jamie wanks to Roy for the first time since he came to Richmond (and if itâs not all just the memories of the man he once imagined, if itâs a little bit tinged with dark looks and growls and Roy snarling his name like itâs an insult⌠Well. Thatâs nobodyâs business, that.)
---
He keeps the photos in the bottom drawer in his bedroom and he doesnât pull it out a lot, âcause thereâs Keeley and sheâs fucking fit and the sex is mindblowing and Jamie doesnât need to gawk at pictures of sad old has-beens to get his rocks off. Â
Sometimes thereâs a different sort of itch, though, and he scratches it. No big deal.
(He wonders sometimes, what the real Roy would say if he knew. Plays it out in his mind, all the different ways it might go. Cums as he imagines it.)
He thinks maybe Keeley would like the picture too. Not âcause sheâd like Roy, sheâs got way better taste than that, and sheâs fun and she likes a bit of fun and if thereâs one thing Roy Kent ainât, itâs fun, innit. But heâs fit and all, and Keeleyâs got eyes.
He imagines it, sometimes, the two of them getting off together over the picture. If Roy â the real Roy â wasnât such a miserable old prick, heâd suggest it to her maybe. But Roy is such a miserable old prick, and the whole thing is way too complicated to explain, so he doesnât.
Then Keeley dumps him and the dream was only ever that.
---
They send him back to City. Jamie doesnât understand. One moment heâs sharing a bottle of tequila with Dani Rojas and taking up the Richmond chant and Jamieâs not wrong and for the first time he wonders if maybe there could be something for him here, and the next heâs woken up by his agent and that same evening heâs back in Manchester like he never left, only the stale air in the house he bought with his fifth paycheck tells him he did, and the numb sense of loss as he steps through the door tells him he did.
Itâs months before he gets everything from London shipped and sorted. Busy getting up to speed with everything at the club and all. Itâs good to be back, really, a proper team, a proper coach, all that. Dad starts getting in touch again, sure, but it is what it is.
So yeah, itâs months before he gets all his stuff unpacked and months before his fingers brush over something familiar and he stands there staring down on the picture or Roy and itâs odd because it seems like only yesterday he first saw it and it seems a lifetime ago.
A rush of lust â Pavlovian, right, Keeley? â but a rush of something else too, rusted barb wire tugging at his guts, sharp and sickening.
He looks at it for a long time and then he puts it away and this time he doesnât take it out again. Thatâs over and done with. Â
(Only, he doesnât throw it away either. Just lets it sit in a neglected drawer, ignored but never let go, like all the other things that must never be.)
---
(Thereâll be a time, some years later, boxes packed and moved and unpacked and an old photo slipping to the floor and
what the fuck is this?
and
whatâs that, babe? oh my god, you look hot! fucking hell! jamie, where did you even get this?
and
when did you get this? iâm still playing here
and
uh, well, you remember that photo shoot they did for the promo just a couple of months after i joined richmond?
and a raised eyebrow and
yeah?
and a shrug and cheeky grin and
yeah, well, picked it up for darts practise, didnât I
and Roy snorts but heâs smiling too and
figures youâd be shit at darts
and
what are you on about, man, iâm aces at darts⌠ooh, because thereâs no holes in it you mean, yeah, no, youâre right, youâre right, iâm shit at darts, fucking terrible
and theyâre both smiling now and Keeley is too and Roy notes how itâs clearly been handled a lot and what were you doing with it really and the glint in his eyes says he knows but Jamie tells him â tells them â anyway, in great, great detail.)
#this got angstier than expected#but allâs well that ends well i guess?#the moment i saw this fanart my mind went STRAIGHT to jamie (and keeley!) enjoying - ahem - it#arguably this piece was also influenced by mickey milkovich and the picture he kept of ian gallagher#which is super fucking sad so maybe the sad factor of this wasn't THAT unexpected actually#but after angst comes happily ever after!#at least in this household#royjamie#royjamiekeeley#jamie tartt#roy kent#my stuff#ficlet
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do u have any jercybeth fic recs đźđ¤˛
âŚ. most of them? đ thereâs thirty-six, bby. go nuts!
#edit: i actually forgot my one angst jercybeth is actually in that line up lolll but also#the wine and whiskey fic is. ahem. inspired. just wonderful
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When it snows in hell, you call them âashesâ.
@beartitledâs part on being a âgreatâ parent to their Narry.
#get it? itâs a snowglobe because Bearâs a Polar Bear?â#ahem#nevermind#anyways#The amount of angst Bear gives to their Narry is mesmerising bro#and they do it so cutely too XD#the stanley parable#tsp#tsp narrator#stanley parable#tsp fanart#the narrator#paraverse#tspud#sketch#InSomniphicâs Art#InSomniphicâs Art for Others
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Rosy has been spookified
WOUHG!!!!!! :DDD
Ouggghh spooky lil guy hdjxhsjxbd
Dude the witches hat instead of a nightcap is genius ebebebebebebe
#yippee!!#now to put something significantly more painful in your inboxâ¨â¨â¨#(/pos the angst was real so i had to draw it)#:}c#ahem#beloved mutuals#mutuals art <3
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*taps mic* ahem. hanahaki au where reader is hopelessly in (unrequited) love with mitsuri, where they refuse to tell herâor anyone for that matterâbecause they know she loves someone else and they can't bear to have their last memories together tainted with the sting of rejection.
#âď¸ : rambles . âš Ë .#that's it. that's the post.#i'm sick of hanahaki au's where it was actually requited the whole time i want ANGST.#ahem. anyway
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