#And also that im like... allowed to have boundaries. Thats still something im working on but at least I do know

[cartoonghosts]

surprisingly to anyone who is friends with me except for milo this is actually the healthiest ive ever been at relationships. Not saying im good but I used to be so much worse I am actively making progress and I have come a very long way.

[useless-donut]

just thinking about astarion is SUCH a sweet partner? like this man was barely an adult elf when he was turned, and spent the next 200 years being abused by cazador, but like

- as the durge character, he'll be accepting and talk about your mental health and reassure you

- he'll insist on staying with your half illithid character, saying you shouldnt make his choices for him if you try to leave to protect him

- also just the dichotomy of him being explicitly vain and also explicitly not shallow is very sweet

- in that one lathanders light scene, he'll tell you he appreciates you trying to fix your mistake after you caused him IMMENSE pain

- he'll empathize with and support you if you swear your body to haarlep, noting how he's been through similar and is sorry you're going through it

- hes not jealous, his issues with sharing seem to largely come from if he thinks the other party would be okay with it (like he thinks lae'zel would spear him lol), and when someone like halsin comes along he'll happily consent

- on that note, he grows enough to be comfortable asking for support and reassurance instead of possessiveness/jealousy (not that these are the only options for that scenario, but astarions seen a lot of possessiveness in his life and its wonderful how much he avoids replicating it)

- he will always attack cazador in the final confrontation if cazador starts verbally abusing you instead of him

- he puts in the work to set boundaries that allow him to engage in an intimate (emotionally, physically, but not sexually) romantic relationship with tav and apologizes for "using" him before, when his behavior was SO understandable. and also he manipulated tav by having... consensual enjoyable sex lol. he might have ulterior motives but he never actually tries to use his sexual relationship with tav to manipulate him into doing anything

- you learn how astarion felt for Sebastian and how tender he was

- you learn about the first boy astarion couldnt bear to bring to cazador, the one he called soft and sweet (or something like that) and then was punished horribly for a straight year for it

- even when you turn to a half illithid, his main concern is you losing your agency

- if you are a full illithid, at the end of the game, some people complain about him not being ride or die, but i think he shows REMARKABLE willingness and support. what he cares about most is that you are still you, and how is he supposed to know for sure? i think asking him to stay with a type of being known for manipulation and mind control after everything he went through with cazador IS A HUGE FUCKING ASK. and he doesnt even write you off immediately? thats a lot of love right there

- if you arent illithid, he will double-check you want to plan a future with him still, and only once you affirm this will he express how badly he wants it. he's actively avoiding trying to manipulate you even

and probably more stuff im just not thinking of off the top of my head. obviously this is about the spawn route vs. ascended, but im just constantly amazed that despite EVERYTHING astarion has gone through, probably centuries without a healthy, loving relationship or even examples of that nearby, he still defaults to being kind, empathetic, and caring as soon as he gets the chance

like sure, he might be minorly evil and self-serving but personally i think thats the least he deserves

more importantly, the boys from astarions past give us a rare window into what he was like before turning into a vampire—he was gentle, empathetic lover. he was kind, he was protective. and as soon as he has the space to start looking for himself again, he goes RIGHT back to that behavior. he even self-checks for his "manipulation" and tries to correct for it

it just shatters my heart and then puts it back together hes such a wonderfully written character. astarion is allowed to be lovely AND furious and vengeful and maybe its just my raised-catholic ass, but its SO cathartic to see that a forgiveness arc is never pushed for his abuser

[xxspacecadetx]

Introduction:

If you've seen my other blogs, you may be familiar with my other name. However, here, I go by Sunny, Alan, or my favorite, Cadet.

This blog serves as a space for me to explore the community from a more observational perspective, without focusing solely on my art. I'm eager to learn about the experiences of both lees and lers, and discover more about my place within this dynamic. I identify as pansexual and trans, and I’m currently on a journey of self-discovery. I would love for you to be a part of this process. Please note, my interests and hyper-fixations tend to shift frequently, so expect this blog to be a bit spontaneous.

Hey there! I’m just a big kid at heart who can't help but giggle at the little things in life. Space is my true love — there's something magical about it that I can’t get enough of. Also, I’m a proud stoner, because honestly, high tickles are the best! 🌱💚

I’m into some pretty fun stuff, like hypnosis, light bondage, and tickling, but there’s so much more to me.

As for my current work, I am a commission artist on Tumblr. If you know me through my art, hello, and thank you for your support! <3

I’m still learning about the community and figuring out where I fit in. I lean more toward the lee side, though I do enjoy some playful switch/ler dynamics from time to time. I’m mindful of boundaries and avoid teasing unless I’m confident in how someone will respond. However, that being said, I have a soft spot for those unexpected, playful teases directed personally at me.

As long as you approach this space with respect, you’ll find the same in return.

The tickle community holds an incredibly special place in my heart, and it always will. I've had the privilege of meeting some truly amazing and wonderful people here, and I’m so grateful for those connections. I’m excited to see where this journey takes us next—it’s like a rocket ship waiting to soar! <3

wonderful blogs to definitely check out if you like tickling, fandom characters, ocs, and art: @guppygiggles @trooly-ticklish @buggertkle @ticklethentopple @shroomies-world @eldelascosquillas-blog @homunculuslover and @bubbleplumes <33 @nikki-tine @in-stitchesx @fluffymary

and so so many more. this list will get updated at some point. im gonna runout of space hahaha. Ask box: OPEN. submission box: OPEN. my tags: #spacedout - lee thoughts #spacecase - Ler Thoughts #rocketlaunch - high thoughts

FAQ under the cut:

DMs: I’m always open to messages, so feel free to reach out! just keep in mind i don't have all the time in the world to be online. if i do not respond it does not automatically mean im ghosting you. also.. don't just respond with "hi, wanna talk about tickling" for me that makes the conversation a bit awkward. if were already talking about it or talking about ourselves personally and go from there thats more than fine. That said, please keep Dm's platonic. I’m totally fine with friendly teasing, but I want to make it clear that if we don’t know each other well, I’m probably not going to tease you back right away. It’s just how I feel comfortable—building a small bond first is important to me, and I really appreciate when people respect that. I value genuine connections, so don’t hesitate to reach out, but let’s take it slow and keep it lighthearted.

Teasing: I absolutely love a good tease and I’m more than happy to be teased in return. However, I want to gently remind you that I can be pretty shy and timid at times. I’m still learning to be more open, so if you tease me, please be patient with me. I enjoy different forms of teasing—whether it’s written, artistic, or verbal. There’s something special about how each type of teasing brings out a unique reaction from me. It’s one of the things I love most about this space, and it really allows me to grow more comfortable over time.

Boundaries: I’m still very new to the kink side of things, and I’m slowly finding my place within the community. I’m learning, exploring, and figuring things out in my own time, so please understand that this blog reflects my personal journey. I’m still growing, so I appreciate your patience as I navigate this world. If

you're a minor, I ask that you kindly don’t follow my blog—I do not feel comfortable with younger audiences here, and I will block you. This space is my personal escape from reality, a place where I can be myself, whether I’m alone or sharing moments with close friends. I don’t really initiate teasing my end first anymore due to past experiences where things didn’t go as I hoped, but that doesn’t mean I won’t tease others if the moment feels right. I’m a little rusty, and honestly, I’m quite sensitive when it comes to how I perform, whether I’m in the lee or ler role. So, please don’t expect me to lean more into one side over the other—both roles are a part of me, and I just want to be respected for who I am at my own pace.

with all that being said and done, welcome to my side of the universe <333

[perpetuallypottytraining]

(im the anon that said regression is not nsfw)

oh okay i get it kind of :thumbs_up:

do u talk abt potty training stuff on ur main age regression acc too or is it just this one? cuz if u do i might follow idk hehe

okay, I thiiiink these are the same person? Probably? Unclear. I'll answer both here, for clarity.

1 - No, I don't talk about potty training stuff on my main, not anymore. I moved those posts here a couple of years ago. The only content that's there are maybe some reblogs from other regressors.

2 - Okay, first of all, age regressors did NOT come up with those terms, nor do they have exclusive rights to use them. Those terms have been used by people for, like, ever. Parents calling their kids "little ones", family members calling out "littles, come over here!" to refer to any younger members, the obvious origins of "mom" and "dad" and their variants, and "caregivers" being tied to both people who care for babies, children, the elderly, and those with disabilities.

If anything, age players have more rights to the terms "littles" and "caregiver" in the context that we're using on this site. They're the ones who originated/popularized them. I know this because I was here, on this site, in 2016, when age regressors decided to split off from the sfw age play community, and there was legitimately tons of discourse about who had the "right" to those terms.

(who here remembers the chire and the other handful of communities that attempted to exclude anyone who liked the parental nicknames and the usage of the word "little" in their regression? I do. god, do I remember. this is the main reason that a lot of old regression blogs specify that they're "community free regression")

Second, I... don't? Tag anything here as ageplay? Everything here is just tagged with omo tags, then with assorted organizational tags - there is nothing here tagged with agere or ageplay - just posts that use the very vague term of "little" and the other term of "caregiver" within the post itself.

(which, I just feel the need to repeat, is a word that even normies use!! my own parents, aunts, and uncles call me and my cousins littles!!! Outside of that, "Littles" is a shared community term!! Littles and Caregivers, as we use them, originated from Dominant Daddy/Mommy and Little Boy/Little Girl - it's the gender neutral version!! Cg/L! Regressors are the ones who decided to keep it!! Because it's vague!! That's intentional!!)

But, yeah, you're allowed to feel your feelings, and, honestly, the fact that you're uncomfortable with the "playing grown-up" tag is something that I anticipated when I made that tag - that it might make people uncomfortable! But, I've been working on making my own boundaries and enforcing them, while not immediately catering to make other people comfortable at the detriment of my own comfort/space.

This is my blog. People didn't like when I put non-sexual omo on my agere blog because it helped me regress. That's okay, and even I became uncomfortable with it after a while, so! I made this blog! It's not my agere blog. It's my soft omo blog. It's nsfw and for adults only. And, only just recently, I decided to take advantage of those two facts and put some other nsfw posts here. I do not want to make yet another sideblog for the handful of "icky" posts I'd like to reblog, especially when this blog is already here.

A nice thing about Tumblr is that tags are now blockable, so if, for some reason, you wanted to follow me still, you'd still be able too view all my other posts while excluding that specific tag. Or you can block me, if you wanted to - you curate your own online experience, and I'll hold no ill will towards you for making sure that you're comfortable and safe.

As for saying thats someone can't be both an age regressor and an age player? Literally what are you talking out????? Huh???? Do you think that adults can't age regress and slip into the mindset of a child while also being capable of, while in adult headspace, in a consensual relationship, roleplay as a child for sexual gratification??? Those are two different things!!! Ageplay is roleplay, and as such, one is capable of adult things! Agere is someone slipping into the headspace of a child!! Healthy communication with one's partner makes it clear what's okay in one headspace and what's okay in the other!!!

I'm not even an ageplayer and even I know that it's possible to do both 😭😭😭 and I just read fanfiction and people's actual blogs!!

As for your sign off, um. Okay? I don't even interact with a.geredips posts and blogs.... even if they're very relevant to me and my regression! Not even with my main!! (I'm also very shy and timid and a bit scared to interact) And, on my main, if people who follow me start breaking people's DNI, I literally softblock or block them - if they can't follow people's boundaries, then they can't interact! I'm just one blog, and I doubt that if anyone wanted to demonize age regressors, they need any help from me - people who deliberately mistag are probably more than enough tbh.

Ageplay and age regression, like it or not, was cut from the same cloth - a cloth made out of a gradient from black to white, with shades of grey all in between. Like a baby blanket! Black/ageplay and ABDL on one side, white/agere on the other, with you and me and my friends and mutuals somewhere in the middle, all spread out across!

Plenty of adults don't think anyone should return to the comfort of childhood things, and look at the whole blanket with scorn and disgust. Cutting off more and more of the blanket, because you think that my grey isn't as palatable as your grey, is not going to change these people's minds. Both of us live in the grey zone, and I personally think that by accepting more of the grey, our baby blanket will be strong enough to handle anything - even and especially people who think our blanket should be torn to shreds.

[emmkitt]

NEW INTRO TIME

i am actually floory’s number 1 fan real and true

my main blog is @emmkittycat so likes and follows will come from that account i think idk i still dunno how tumblr works💔

i cant believe i have to put this but i do. anyways impersonation is a HUGE boundary for me so please dont pretend to be me / claim to be me wtf. idc if you kin / pretend to be my fictional characters but i am a real person hi hello you arent me thanks.

hi. im ememmemt or baxter

he/they/she/xe, 20, INTP

i am autism 🔥 i use tone tags on occassion but u dont need to use them all tbe time when interacting with me ,unless tone could be easily misinterpreted

i love floory, mephone4 and dr fizz! ANDoetrope. AND ZOETROPE. they are my favs ever!

my designs for characters are all FREE TO USE!!! also i normally hc sexualities and genders for the characters i design but these are just MY headcanons. so like if u wanna draw like, for example, my bot design as gay or like my floor design as agender or whatever thats perfectly fine HDHDH.

i dont mind if u get inspired by my art!! i allow reposting my art for non commerical use as long as proper credit is given (a link back to this tumblr account)

dni:

-general dni, homophobes, racists, pedos, zoos, that shebang

-pro ship. pro ship does not = ship you dont like. pro ship means pedophilia, incest, etc. otherwise illegal stuff that is being glorified or romanticized. (i kno sometimes people write that stuff to educate or as a coping mechanism; thats fine, i usually dont consider that proship. romanticizing or making these pairings seem OKAY is BAD and i dont want to interact with people who write this stuff for their own personal enjoyment, thats sick. (not the cool sick.))

-object show enjoyers 😡 /JOKE

i dont block often and i only usually block for one of two reasons:

A. you have done something absolutely heinous and i never want to run the risk of ever having to interact with you. (or youre in my dni. which is mostly heinous things.)

or

B. i just saw a lot of irrelevant posts from you in one of the like 4 tags i regularly browse and i just got sick of it.

if youre not in my dni and i have you blocked its probably safe to assume its because of option b. either way i probabblyyy dont want any dms from anyone i have blocked, so pls dont block evade to ask ‚why did u block me??’ cause i really dont owe anyone an explanation. (i usuually dont block tjough. i literally have like 3 people total blocked lmao. so this hopefully wont be an issue. )

[allabtthetrio]

Something I don't understand is 18+ blogs that write about literal MINORS and say DNI if you’re a minor like sure I know people have boundaries but like....the minors you’re talking about are like 14-17 years old literal TEENS and you’re not talking about anything they don’t already know about. Don’t treat them like literal elementary schoolers just because they're underage. Tumblr doesn't even allow kids onto this platform😂 so the Minor DNI is invalid since everyone on here knows about sex and kinks and whatnot please get serious and be so fucking for real😒 ya’ll are like 20-39 with a job kids and HUSBAND maybe thirsting over literal TEENS let’s be serious aged up or not they're still underage and sex is a normal thing teens and adults do so why mustn't teens that are the characters age not read NSFW about said character??? And the interacting part like sure liking a post is interacting but also not really, since there is no save button maybe they wanna go back and reread the story, and if it bothers you so much to where you have to block said person to “save yourself” which also makes no sense then maybe you need to do something else because it shouldn't have you SEARCHING and LERKING on their page just for their ages. That’s weird. Please get a hobby other than imagining fucking a teenager while being a fucking ADULT

Edit Jul 23: what i mean by

“why mustn't teens that are the characters age not read NSFW about said character???” is if you are at your grown ass age writing sex scenes about underage kids the least you can do is just let the TEENAGERS who you ASSUME are too innocent for literal WORDS for whatever fucking reason read it cuz like i stated before, we all know how ts works what are you shielding them from? They’re fictional characters for fucks sake (if they aren’t....jail time for you babes im calling the COPS🤭) its not harming anyone that a minor read a smut story about another minor written by an ADULT WITH A FUCKIN MORTGAGE TO PAY AND KIDS TO BATHE okay thats all i wanted to add😭 see ya

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 1/29/2023

I am feeling really grateful this morning. Yesterday it got kinda dark but im happy i was able to feel those feelings in a safe space. Right now i’m listening to a frankenstein-song that Jordan’s Song teacher made from one of their projects. Im really grateful to be in thighs creative space. Im grateful to be in this space with them. I feel so creative and so motivated to create. Its like i forgot this person and jordan is reintroducing me to myself. We were talking about being able to see our own light, and i’m grateful to meet jordan because so much of our experience together has been a mirror for me. Well. every experience i have with everyone is a mirror of some sort, but with jordan there are just so many synchronicities its just really hard to ignore. I sometimes have to remind myself that the synchronicities do not mean we would have a great relationship if we were together. But i think that the way we are open to learning about ourselves and open to working on our shit is what makes a great relationship. Also our willingness to communicate honestly.

As im getting into a new relationship i am now becoming more aware of my boundaries, or the lack there of. Or even when there is a boundary in a place that no longer needs to be there. I can feel the boundaries that i had up starting to soften. As the boundaries soften it allows me to experience the pain so much more. The boundaries i had up were to prevent pain, but now that my boundary has softened i am able to feel the pain so much more. I think because i softened the boundary with my mom it hurt me a lot when she didnt believe in my. It hit a chord in me that felt true. I feel like i cant make money or that i dont deserve to. There is still something in me that says i dont deserve nice things so i dont allow myself to have the money for nice things. 

I’m still working on this money stuff. Still trying to figure out what i learned, still integrating. I think there is still more of the ballet experience that im unpacking. I discovered yesterday that i feel very unsafe accepting money from my mom. Maybe i need to just stop depending on her. It feels like if i create this boundary its me running away. But i know i need time to process what happened. Im very hurt. I wish my mom could just listen and let me process. I guess i still have to accept that my mom is just not where i’m at and i’m better off telling her half truths. I dont owe my mom the whole truth, but i feel so inauthentic when i dont. I feel the scared part of me still walking on eggshells with her. 

I hate that feeling of walking on eggshells. That codependent feeling. If i want to end codependent relationships then i need to stop being codependent with people. What is my relationship with my mom? Thats what im really trying to unravel. I feel like clancey caught in the soul bird’s string in the Midnight Gospel. There are so many narratives that i need to unravel. I wonder what would happen if i just approached my mom as another human person in this world. She is my mom, but even the word mom had narratives wrapped around what is expected in the relationship. Maybe i need to stop trying to make a better relationship with my mom and just accept where its at. Maybe i need to be hopeless, not hopeless of change for the future, but hopeless for changing the wat things are right now. Right now i am still hurt and so is my mom. And as much as i can hold space for the pain my mom has experienced, there is pain that i have attached to past experiences with her that i need to hold and tend to, because she is unable to, im really tired when people are like “you know your mom is just not equipped and blah blah” and all that. Like im still fucking pissed off. Im angry. Sure, i know all that, but im still fucking angry. This was a feeling that came up with Kate during the nourishment retreat. I logiced my way to a reasonable reason to why the adults in my life couldnt show up, but that did not address the anger i felt when the adult did not show up for me. 

Feeling this anger is an interesting experience, especially with this spooky music playing. Im so angry. I am angry. There no narrative except the feeling of anger. I wonder if i just feel the sensation. I cant feel it now. Its like the sensation on my come sup when i speak the narrative i wonder if thats what spells are. You say words and feel them in your body and that creates an energetic output that attracts things to you. The anger that I was feeling has now morphed. Angry doesnt usually stay long, it quickly goes to sadness and pain and hurt. 

Its interesting coming into my body and experiencing sensations and seeing what kind of narratives i have attached to them and what feelings come up.

Passive aggressive. I can see the times where i am like that. And the habit of wanting other people to feel my feelings. I need to ask people for their consent if they have space to hold what i’m going through. I feel like ive been better at that. I can recognize the growth i’ve made and im really proud of myself. Im still sad and grieving for the little me that didnt have parents to hold her so well. I need time to process and grieve and for some reason the people around me want to push things. I get it, that what i was like in order to gain control. Thats how my mom gains control, by shaming, guilting, and pushing. Thats how i gain control. We can choose to be different. I can choose to be different. My first step is to accept and be hopeless. Accept that i project my shame in order to gain control. In order for me not to identify it. Wow. by brain and body are very clever to try not to feel the pain of shame.

Honestly, let me shower in that shame. Let me dance in it. Let me rub it all over my body and drag it across my face like war paint. I want to be able to wear my shame and move through this world bearing it like the cross. The shame i felt growing up in the church and in a religious house hold. The shame i felt for wanting to be myself. The shame i felt for believing in magic, and ghosts, and spirits. The shame i felt for feeling my feelings. The shame i felt for touching myself. So mcuh shame. Shame for tending to myself. Shame for getting what iw anted. Shame for spending money. Lots of this shame isnt mine. I dont even know what shame is mine. 

Let me look at the shame around money. The higher me doesnt feel shame for spending money or making large amount of money or even having money. But there is a part of me that does. A part of me thats afraid of it all. A part of me that is still attaching its worth with money. Worth and money was attached growing up in the 90’s. And in my household. We were taught that you were more worthy or better if you had more money and if you were good with money. But “good with money” is subjective. The “good with money” created this disorganized attachment with money. Money was a thing we wanted, but then it would be so bad to spend it. I understand that i need to invest in my home and in my self if i want more money to come back to me ten fold.I understand this because i am not attached to money. I have no attachment to money, because i have no attachment to money i am not desperate for it so it does not cause suffering in my life. But now it is. Its like this past year i’ve experienced all forms of this disorganized attachment and i can see the ways where this still feels disorganized. I think i need to bring this into my body. But i'm not feeling it right now. May i be more aware the next time i feel activated and bring it into my body. 

Yesterday i felt the pang in my chest and immediately hung up. And the my brain went on this wild ride into the pit of despair. I wonder what my body does when im in that pit. I'd like to be aware. There's something but my wearing the shame like a badge of honor that feel kinda good. Like i wanna be able to walk around with the shame and say “Yes, i have it, yes it bothers me, but not so much as it used to. This feeling will only have as much power as i give it. But it will do what it wants to do and i get to observe until i find a healthy relationship with it.

I’m happy to be building these relationships with these different parts of myself. I wanna be able to hold my shame and unworthiness with love and strength. I see the ways where ive tried to rid myself of the shame and rid the things in other people that triggered my shame. I wanna hold my shame’s hand and show her life and say “you see. Its not that bad.” maybe my shame is my 5 year old. Ohhhhh i felt bad for wanting to be a ballerina and i felt bad that my parents didnt have enough money and i felt ashamed that i had expensive tastes. I felt ashamed to be my messy self. I shamed myself for being messy too. I wonder if ive just identified with that shame and its been my base line. I havent been feeling it so its been stuck. Its hasnt moved out of me. Its ok to feel shame and its ok to not feel shame. Both states are accept here and every part of me is welcomed.

[imexperiencinggrowthgetoverit]

Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-

1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined

2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????

4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it

5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something

6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?

7. Why hand come off?????

8. Luz is self aware. This is good.

9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????

10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!

11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz

12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!

13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck

14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world

15. the warden is disgusting

16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???

17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first

18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho

Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too

1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.

(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)

2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.

3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried

4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why

5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???

6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????

7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie

8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af

9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me

10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)

11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.

Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.

[highstwildflower]

Less is more darling

Warnings: Mature, Smut

The heat had been unbearable in LA for the last few days. The outside felt like a sauna and being inside felt like a crime. Moaning you moved through the house looking for Ashton. When you found him he was busy with his phone, while talking to the person on the other end a smile spread on his beautiful features. You tried to ignore how beautiful he looked, distracting yourself you drank a large glass of water. Few minutes later Ashtons happy laughs filled your house "Guess what y/n. We are going to a pool party at Sierra and Luke's! Go get ready baby!" His voice was thick with excitement as you gulped down the water. Ashton lifted a brow at you, he had expected you to be bouncing off the walls or at least to match his own excitement. Before he had a chance to say anything you gave him a quick kiss before making your way to your closet.

Arriving at the party you clutched Ashtons hand in your own. Before you made it inside he was pulled away from you, as always. Normally you wouldn't mind, but lately you had needed him whenever you were in social situations. You hadn't voiced it to him or anyone for that matter, but your anxiety had hid new levels and it was affecting you in numerous ways. Only a few moments late you found yourself talking to the girls. Sierra was a close friend of yours and the next best security blanket, when Ashton was busy. The other girls who were speaking with you and Sierra was beautiful, absolutely goddesses. It was like that in LA, looks meant everything and sometimes that was the most hurtful thing to think about. You couldn't help your eyes from wandering down to the chests of the girls around you. You had always been on the lean side, and your boobs were nearly invisible, most of the time you didn't mind but right now you felt like crawling into a hole and hide forever. The feeling of being less of a woman, even less of a human began to creep into your body. Trying your best to shake the feeling you searched for Ashton, but your heart dropped when you saw him deeply engaged in conversation with a beautiful busty woman. You trusted Ashton, he was surrounded by beautiful humans all the time and life would be very tough if you did not trust him. But right now you couldn't help the burning pit at the bottom of your stomach, tears began to pool at your inner corners. Quickly you excused yourself and found a corner to lick your wounds in. You tried to calm yourself as your breath was uneven but it felt hopeless, the people behind you were having the time of their life while you silently were falling apart, even Ashton were unaware of your current state of mind.

But across the pool Ashton had noticed how you were covering yourself with you sundress even though everybody else were left in their bathing suites only. He also noticed how his beautiful bubbly girl was standing quite unfocused on the conversation she was a part of. As she turned her back to the rest of the party and her body only allowed shallow breaths Ashton was fast to leave the conversation he himself was engaged in. Crossing the distance with big steps he wrapped his arms around you from behind, relief filled your body as you turned in his grasp. Burring you face in his neck you allowed the sobs to escape your body, the loud music drowned the sounds at the moment was only shared between you and Ashton. Ashton stood silently just rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down, when you finally felt yourself calming down you took a step back "Can we please go home?" your voice was small and almost pathetic but Ashton understood the panic in your voice "'course darling" his large thumb dried your tears away before he pulled you into his side.

As soon as you arrived at home you hurried inside desperate to cover your flat chest. Ashton knew you, and he respected that you weren't  as communicative a person as he himself was. However, he was a bit frustrated when hours had rolled by and you stilled hadn't offered an explanation for the sudden breakdown. "Baby" his voice rang through the house, and though you had been hiding in the sunroom you knew you had to offer him something "yeah I'm in here Ash" you voice were tired as you prepared yourself for the confrontation. His large frame entered the room and as if he was dealing with a wild beast he slowly approached you before he spoke calmly "Are you ready to tell me what that was all about?" he nudged your knee with his own as he took a seat next to you. Playing with the pages of your book you looked up at him "not really" it was clearly written across his face that he wasn't satisfied with you answer. Before he had a change to say anything you spoke again "I know I owe you an explanation, but I can't give you one right now, I'm just not ready. Please don't push me with this one." You were never really one to set boundaries so while Ashton was incredible proud of you he was also frustrated. Tucking lightly at his hair, he slowly turned to look at you a gentle smile spread across his lips before he leaned in to place a soft kiss on your forehead. He stood up and left you alone again.

Hours passed, those turned into days and still you and Ashton wasn't really talking, neither of you were mad at the other but you both got lost in your heads. Ashton went around thinking about you falling apart in his arms before you sheltered yourself from him, he felt like a terrible partner who had missed the cues. You, on the other hand, went around with a crippling self-esteem, you wanted to open up to him but you couldn't. It would just bring more attention to the fact that you were less of a woman, that he deserved someone who had a larger breast area. Along those days the temperature had risen and you had struggled with finding clothes to wear, everything showcased you flat chest. Loos closing were your only friend.

"Honey, I'm home" his voice brought you from your thoughts, wearing his loos sweater you walked to the center of the house where he just had announced his return. "Hi ashy" he smiled as his nickname left your lips, it felt like an eternity ago since you last greeted him like this. His arms open up for you to snuggle against him and you happily agreed. His lips found yours and for the first time in days you felt as if you might had a change to make it through this. "Whats going on in that pretty head of yours?" his question was intrusive and you took a small step away not ready to open up yet. "Y/n, baby please" he was desperate, knowing you brought this pain on to him brought tears to your eyes "No no, don't cry. I promise what ever it is we will figure it out. Together, you remember?" his arms were still around you as he played with the hem of your baggy shirt "Why are you wearing this baggy clothes lately love?" his voice was more careful this time but you still winched as he rubbed salt in your open wound. Getting the memo he grabbed your hand before dragging you behind him "what are you doing?" he didn't answer you as he continued to move towards your bedroom. He turned towards the big mirror in the corner of the room, without hurting you he sternly brought you in front of him so that you were facing the mirror. You avoided looking at yourself as you made eye contact with Ashton. "Look at yourself darling" his voice was soft yet decisive. You took a quick glance before meeting his eyes again. He gripped the hem of your sweater and brought the fabric over your head. Quickly you clasped your hands across your chest, protecting your nude form from both his and your stare. His large hands rubbed your arms as he gently worked your arms down to your side again "Look at how beautiful you are baby" his chest was warm against you back, offering a small comfort as you began to fall apart in front of him. "You can't say that. Im more flat that a skinny teenage boy"you spitted at him, your words made him furrow his brows as he let out a sigh "Thats not true baby, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes upon" his ran his large hands from you shoulder across your collarbone "You are so dainty" he smiled as his hands continued exploring your skin, "Your breast sits as two perfect cherries, so perfect" his hand came down to massage your breasts. "I love how firm your boobs feels in my hands" he gave them a squeeze, a smile still tucking at his lips and it was beginning to rub off on you "I love how you look so damn elegant in anything you wear" "I love how you can ditch the bra, so I can look at your nipples all day" As the words left his mouth he tugged at your nipples, your head rolled back onto his shoulder as a soft moan left your lips.

Ashton kept your firmly against his chest as he told you how amazing your smaller boobs were to him. You felt him hardening against your back and you felt yourself grow wetter with each words that left his lips "Darling, do me a favor and get rid of your pants and underwear?" he gave you a questioning look in the mirror, checking if you were still okay with the situation. You undressed yourself as he did the same. His hard cock was released from its confine space and you couldn't help but moan at the sight, his eyes meet yours as you made your way towards him. Just as you reached for his cock his stopped your hand "It is all about you today baby" you mind was clouded and before you noticed he had you back in front of his chest as you faced the mirror. "look at yourself while please you baby"  his voice was warm and husky against your spine, sending a shudder through your body. You fixed your eyes upon your own body, following his hands as they followed every curve of your body. He finally reached your slit and his fingers lazily played with your lips, you whined as he once again pulled a finger through your wet folders without caressing your clit. "Patiences baby" he chuckled into your ear. You began to grind onto Ashtons hand, as you grew more and more desperate for a relief "no, no, no baby, you gotta wait" the mischievousness was obvious in his voice as he enjoyed teasing you while being able to watch your whole body in the mirror. After teasing you for multiple minutes Ashton decided that he had had enough of teasing you "pleas baby" you wimped and just like that he burrowed one of his long fingers inside of you "fuck Ash" your moan was loud but your whine was even louder when he stopped moving his finger "Keep your eyes open baby, I want you to watch yourself or else I'm gonna stop" you struggled to keep your eyes open but you wanted him to continue. He added another finger as he pumped viciously inside of you, his lips worked on your neck and in-between kisses he whispered sweet nothings about how hot he found you. "Please Ashy, I want your cock" that was enough for Ashton to rip his fingers from you slit, he spread your juices on his cock as he pumped it a few times. Position himself behind you he pushed into you, the air was filled with both of your moans and skin slapping against each other. "such as good girl, taking my cock while looking so beautiful"  he words made you clench around him and moan out loud, without you noticing you had been playing with your left boob for a long period of time. Ashton felt proud as he saw you enjoying your body "Fuck y/n, you looks to good playing with you tits as I'm fucking you in front of a mirror" you gasped as he snapped his hips into yours "I I'm gonna cum fuuck. " He helped you chasing you high by brining a thump to your ball of nerves and just like that you felt firework blossom at the pit of your stomach, he kept you against his chest at his chased his own high. "Fuck y/n" he moaned into your ear as he came into you. Ashton kept your close for a moment as you both came down, he slowly dragged out and pulled you into the bathroom with him. He turned on the shower and turned to you, his large hand caught your cheek and he caressed while looking into your eyes "I love you so muck baby, you are really so so beautiful " you smiled at him "I love you baby, thank you" a sweet kiss was shared between the two of you. The shower was filled with sweet touched and a comfortable silence.

The next night as you laid in bed Ashton looked at you for a second "what?" you laughed at him as he moved to hold you closer "I was just thinking... I love you, and I think your body is amazing. I would never want you to change, I prefer you just the way you are. But if the size of you chest is such a big problem for you, you could change it? please don't hear this as me wanting you to change love" You smiled knowingly at him "Its ok ash. I thought about it but you made me realize that I should embrace myself as I am" He smiled bigly at you "Is that so love?" He moved to hoover over you "You know, words are just words till you bring the to life" you laughed at him "one direction really?" he laughed back at you before attacking your side with his long fingers, tickling you until you were gasping for air. The room was filled with loud laughed from the both of you, Ashton kissed your lips before drawing back slightly "and another time love, I will always be here to lift you up, so please involve me?" You nodded be pulling him back in, feeling grateful for the loving goofball who was trapping your body against the mattress.

[heartfucksmouth]

can't sleep. I find it hard to get comfortable lately and I'm kind of dreading not being able to lay on my stomach or back bc my hips are so shitty. I'm so glad I already have a body pillow but dang.

moreso, I woke up to pee and then was wide awake because I was thinking of the painful and stressful overtone in the house when it comes to myles mom. I don't want my partner to be in distress like this. and my mom offered for us to go stay with her and maybe we could save to buy a house (i really do not want to get stuck in the housing system as well, esp bc myles wouldnt be able to live with me from what ive read), but that brings its own problems with boundaries and I'm not speaking to my dad (definitively and with no end in sight) but my mom talks to him every day and sees him weekly. so it would be a relief bc we wouldn't have daily beratement and feeling like we (but mainly myles) can't exist and take up space and that im put on a pedastal bc im ~female and all men are disappointments and fuck ups or something, but I'd be inviting other potential chaos and confrontation - unless my mom really truly gets that she needs to keep her relationship with my dad separate. and I'm not her daily sounding board... I need my space. it sucks so much to feel like im stuck in this again, but it's not surprising either.

I also briefly freaked out about how we would file taxes after the baby is born. I don't even file bc of my ssdi income, but having a child might change that. and then we can't get married or I lose my ssdi payments - to get the tax breaks of having a dependent/child... so I'm just like... what is going to happen with that?

the stigma and, essentially political position, of being disabled and pregnant is ever-present in my mind.

also myles mom was like "if it's a girl, ill try to soften" and I'm like lmao but if it's a boy?? you'll continue your legacy of emotional abuse and calling the men in your life retards and making them feel worthless and flawed?? no fucking thank you...

like, fuck parents like these. I can't wait to raise my kid conscientiously and intentionally so they turn out to be a compassionate human with emotional regulation skills.

also, the whole "mother" and gendered stuff isn't usually super present in my mind, but since I'm awake and ruminating, that came up too. I do feel more female and womanly being pregnant, its hard not to, and i dont think i should be ashamed of it bc any femininity i embody tends to be both soft and strong, and i think thats empowering? I chose nonbinary to describe myself bc I really don't care for the binary we have of gender, but I don't think that negates having a more fluid relationship with gender. everyone basically calls me she/her, but I feel very clear on defining myself as nonbinary. I don't usually care how people refer to me, I think it's just too tiresome for me to bother with personally. I know how i feel, and I get that it's confusing for people to understand . I still get caught up trying to explain it, but to me, it's simply an authentic feeling and allowing myself to .. accept where I'm at every day is very self-compassionate. idk if this makes sense, it's almost 2am lol

plus everyone's question is when we find out the gender of the baby lol. me and myles talked about having the main baby clothing color be green bc I hate how clothing colors are gendered. we talked about possibly a gender neutral name, but we'll see. small things like that feel really supportive to me!

I felt some weird guilt or something after sharing the news and ultrasound with more people. everyone is so so happy for us, but . idk I almost felt shame for being happy - or like it's gonna get taken from me etc. I think it's a very vulnerable position bc there is so much attention on me and judgements are always being passed. maybe it's trying to control people's expectations of me or something, and I'm sure it's internalized stuff I still have to work through.

I just want to sleep.

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Young God-Part 1

Summary: Your power isn't even a power its simply words. You can understand people, get into their head and know them better than anyone all willingly on their end. This made you useful to the avengers when villains came and you could understand and fix them. When this is asked to be done to loki you cant help but fall for the god the more you get to know him.

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: Swearing, Loki being loki,angst

Notes: Ok lemme just start of saying loki isn't going to be...nice in the beginning of this i got the idea off of joker and harley quinn's relationship and slightly silence of the lambs so do with that what you will now i adore loki so he won't be a dick the whole time just yea someone getting into loki's head? he isn't too chill with that.

You walked down the stairs leading to the dungeon where the god was locked away ready for you to speak to. you heard the mocking laughs and sarcastic remarks made as you passed the cells.” “hey mortal lemme get a taste” he said thrust to you. you flipped him off not looking at him and passing on by. seeing the god laying on the couch reading a book you walked through the boundaries placed stepping before him. Odin had given you a pill, said it would allow you past the wall of an hour and only you. “hello” he said reading his book still. “apologies for my fellow inmates they can be quiet rude” he said with a small smirk.

“ironic coming from a man with the nickname silver tongue” you said sitting down on a chair in front of him. he placed down his book “oh doll there's more to that nickname” he said with a wink. you simply rolled your eyes in response. you had been told loki was like this. “anyways why are you here” he asked sitting up turning to you “did odin send you to make sure im behaving?” he asked with a snarky tone

You made a mental note of his hatred for odin, though from your interactions with the man you slightly understood that. “i'm here to speak to you” is all you said. loki scoffed “you doll are a horrible liar” he said with a smirk. He stood up and walked around you almost scanning you. “what's the real reason your here?” he asked behind you. “truly i am here to talk to you” you repeated with a straight face and shrug. “then talk” he said bending down right in front of your face. his breath ghosting over your face and his long wavy hair falling in his face. “your a god you live for years on end tell me loki, how old are you?” you asked. loki gave a smile before standing “my age? that's what you came for?” he huffed. “ill answer your questions if you answer mine” he said in return

you turned around facing him “i don't answer questions” you said with a shrug “oh come on doctor i know your other patients didn't just comply with your questioning” he said with a smirk. he was always smiling or smirking, never a true smile something to show planning, no not planning, anger? no not anger. hurt? yes thats it hes hurt and hides it with his devilish smile. to throw you off to push you away. make you fear him over wanting to know him.

Now the new question was how did he know you were a doctor. well you may not be an official doctor but you were one of sorts. You had been in college to get a phycology degree until fury swept you up making you work for him. you tilted your head alarming the god you were lost on his accusation. “oh dear as you said i am a god you don't think i could fall for your tricks and lies like the others did you?” he asked walking to you “doll only i make the tricks here” he said holding your jaw. “now we play by my rules” he said with another smile. “stop” you said. his smile widened “stop smiling” you said. you saw a hint of confusion wash over before it was erased with another smirk “why doll?” he asked. “because its a lie” you said. loki's face became serious “you talk of lies yet you wouldn't tell me why your here” he said walking around the room.

“Fine i'm here to evaluate you” you said simply “now will you answer my questions?” you asked. “I have been just not the ones you want the answer to.” he replied. “agree to my terms and ill be more than willing to answer you” he said with a sarcastic smile “i ask the questions not you” you replied. he shrugged laying back down reading his book again. you only had an hour with him so you had no choice but to comply with his rules or you'll get nowhere but you also didn't want the god to think he could just boss you around and throw a fit.

you shrugged picking up your bag walking out of the room. “1,054″ you said blankly. you turned confused “my age” he said still reading. you nodded walking back in “one question” you said sitting down. he smirked still looking at the book but not reading it “well start simple. name?” he asked. “y/n” you replied. “y/n....mmm now y/n why are you here?” he asked sitting up. “to evalu-” you started to say before he cut you off “why are you here?” he asked “were not doing this loki i said one question” you said standing back up. your hour was almost over. “what happened doctor don't like a taste of your own medicine?” he asked with a dark smile. “why do you do that? smile so much?” you asked. “you tell me you said it was a lie which means you've made your own deductions of it so tell me doc why do i smile so much?” he asked tilting his head.

“to make people uncomfortable. they see you smile this mischievous smile a smile that they expect from the god of mischief. you become what people expect of you so they stay away now why you push people you don't know away i'm not quiet sure on but i assume it has something to do with your spite for odin” you said simply. loki gave a wide smile standing up “well well well doc, you are utterly” he said behind you getting close to your ear “wrong” he said simply straightening backup. “now you well i do have so many things to say about you” he said moving in front of you. “you evaluate people thinking you know everything about them so much more than they know themself, from body language to words to the crime they commited. but i my dear am simply a king who deserved a throne and would fight for it” he said sitting back down “hours up doll better leave before your trapped in here” he said looking at you with another smile. 

Walking back up you felt unnerved. the god had a weird aura to him like he could read your mind. granted he may actually be able to in which case you need to be more careful about such things. you walked to your room feeling empty and drained. you fell back on the bed rubbing your face. the odinsons had given you your own quarters while you stayed there. there was  knock on the door and you groaned “its open” you replied and the door opened revealing yet another god, a kinder one. Thor walked over sitting next to you “how was loki?” he asked. “loki was....exactly how yall described him” you sighed. thor griminced he hoped his brother would behave “did you get anything out of him?” he asked. “just his age which is useless it was more a test to see if he'd comply with me. think he got more out of me than i of him” you said looking up at thor. 

“give him time. my brother can be...difficult but your a legend at this so you should do well it may take longer than usual but you'll get it” thor said cheerfully. you gave a small smile. you wanted to believe that you truly did but honestly you weren't sure. “loki sure is a strange guy” you said sitting up “Well he's not a guy hes a god such as i and he was raised by my mother” he said to you.

“get some rest i bet you'll do much better tomorrow” he said with a smile walking out. you sighed and changed, laying bed you felt sleep take over. 

you stood in a black room seeing your parents smiling faces “mom? dad? you said with a smile. you started to run to them before blood dripped from there eyes and they slowly faded away. you stepped back feeling empty once again. you heard a chuckle and turned seeing loki laugh and roll his eyes before vanishing too

You awoke with a small scream and your heart racing. you were drenched in sweat and tears streamed down your face. once you calmed you growled launching up from bed and walking down to the dungeon storming past the assholes shouting crude things at you. you stood at loki's cell banging on the wall “hey asshole” you said blatantly. “well hello to you too doll isnt this a shocker” he said with another smile god how you wanted to slap that smile off his face “shut up” you said. loki sat up looking at you “well what can i do for you?” he asked. “your not supposed to have you powers in here” you said with a stern face

loki tilted his head in mock confusion “why i don't” he said voice dripping in sarcastic hurt as if offended by such accusations. “don't lie you bastard! You were in my head i know it you know it so let's just both know it” you yelled at him. His smile widened “ok darling but see i do have one question left unanswered. how did your parents die?” he asked stepping to the glass. “they didn't it was simply a nightmare” you groaned. 

“no no see people who dream of the death unprompted feel pain,sadness,fear they try to stop it you well you felt nothing you just...stood there” he said looking down at you. “so how was it they died?” he asked. “if you can get in my head then you sure as shit know” you said looking down at the floor. you really did not want to speak of it.

“of course i do doll but i want to hear you say it” he said leaning on the glass. “i will not play into your game” you said storming off “you still hear it dont you? their screams” he said. “i do” he said after

you turned “pardon?” you asked walking back to him. “have a nice night darling” he said smiling walking back to his couch. “but you said-” you were cut off by the sounds of footsteps “oi you are not to be down here madam” the man said walking to you “oh yes sorry i must have sleep walked” you replied walking upstairs back to your bed.

laying down your head felt as if it was spinning. This was going to be an interesting roller coaster wasn't it.

[sukirichi]

— LOVE LETTER FROM ANON ; 💌

this is from an ask i received. i copy pasted and replied here as a text post since i can’t put “read more” on anon asks and it’s quite long hehehe. to the anon who sent me this, i give you loads of my love, thank you so much for everything !!

[ the ask ]

hi lovely,

i just read earned it and i have a couple things i’d like to say to you if you don’t mind. before i start, i completely understand if you don’t want to share this ask or even read at all which is fair. but if you do decide to read it, i know that one person such as me cannot change the decisions a writer had made such as discontinuing a series but i hope that this allows you some sense of peace or happiness towards your creation and end of earned it. i’m actually writing this is my notes before i send it to you so that’s how you know i truly mean it. buckle up baby!

i’d like to start with this; i just read and finished all the remaining chapters of earned it. i don’t know how to say this without sounding arrogant or cocky which truly isn’t my intention here, i promise so i’ll just say it as is. i swear to ever loving god, i’ve scoured the entirety of tumblr, ao3, fanfiction.net, wattpad, everything and anything, and it still isn’t very often that i find works like these, far and few between dare i say. ive looked through almost everything i could get my hands on to read in the jjk fandom and dear god, do you manage to keep on surprising me. i’ve read majority if not all your works along with following you on ao3 and tumblr, and i must say. i truly am so fucking impressed. completely and absolutely fucking floored if you will. the amount of plot twists and pure emotion you managed to put into this is only something i can dream of ever creating.

i cannot lie, it truly my hearts to think that people gave you so much shit over this to which ended in you deciding to discontinue along with your lack of interest which at least, is understandable unlike the hate. i literally cannot comprehend how people would be unhappy with the outcome so far after reading it since it was beyond fucking magnificent in my eyes. it kept me on my toes the entire time whilst never managing to bore me once and as someone with adhd, thats fucking hard to do, i’ll admit it. props to you. and as much as i want to grovel and beg for crumbs, something, anything to know about how it ends, i know that that will most likely accomplish nothing to both you and i so decided to just say this.

thank you for writing this. thank you for not only writing it but dealing with the experience of unwanted and negative criticism to the point you had to stop and discontinue it whilst also being generous and amazing enough to keep it up so other people could still read it. i really hope your proud of earned it and how it turned out so far, because if i were you, i’d be so bloody fucking proud i wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

my friends often tell me i overstep my boundaries and i really hope i aren’t doing that with this but i just really, truly, wanted to express my genuine appreciation and thanks towards your writing and towards you as a writer that puts out content, not to mention for free!!!!, for people like me. i also don’t want to seem as if i’m glorifying earned above all your other works, because that’s not what i mean. your writing is just… just fucking chefs kiss. sorry, my brains starting to run out of words at this point but oh my god. thank you for letting me experience the experience of earned it even though there was no proper end. i’d rather have that than nothing at all. and maybe i misread this entire thing, maybe you are goddamn proud of your work, which you fuckinf should be considering the pure quality it is. once again, chefs kiss!!

i just… i don’t know what to say anymore. your writing, quite literally, has made me completely fucking breathless in a good way of course. anyways, i hope this wasn’t too much of a ramble and at least managed to make you smile or something. have a lovely day sweetheart!!!! <333 :*)

OMG ANON PLS FORGIVE ME IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME DAYS TO RESPOND TO, I DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE YOU A HALF ASSED RESPONSE SO I WAITED TO GET MY MENTAL ENERGY BACK TO A HUNDRED PERCENT SO I CAN SEND BACK MORE LOVE TO YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY !! FIRST OF ALL UHM… 

you really made me speechless with this one, you have no idea. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve reread this and teared up a little bit because you know… I’m so shocked like I really have no idea what I did to receive such a sweet message because I’m just writing silly fanfics when I’m feeling it yknow? Or at least that’s what it seems like because it turns out I have a huge impact on others and I’m able to make people happy like I’ll never EVER get used to that feeling and I mean that in a good way !! Like I’m in a constant state of disbelief that people are this affected by my content and I’m just… 

I’m so thankful truly PLEASE can I give you a hug I’m so happy sobs sobs sobs

also baby, thank you sm for this again AAAAHH. I’m not sure if you really mean ‘Earned It’ the mafia! gojo series or ‘Reckless’ the CEO gojo series though ?? Both are discontinued but Earned It was discontinued bcos my dumbass killed Naoya there and he was my favorite so I lost the motivation and it was all my fault SOBBSSS. as for Reckless though, yeah I’d say it was mostly the hate I got for it that demotivated me into continuing it :// but if this ask is meant for Earned It, then yes thank you so much for the kind words as well, though I didn’t really receive hate for it so no worries !!

and aaah anon im…I’m at a loss for words lmao but the part where you said where you would be proud if you wrote it, that’s really…LIKE IDK it just hit me bcos oftentimes I look at something I poured my heart into, but then I’d have days where I’d be like YIKES that wasn’t a good one. its so easy to forget the effort we put into something when we’re affected by external factors. and yeah even though I really don’t want to continue either series anymore, thank you for leaving me the important note of being proud of myself <33 

although the series (earned it) wasn’t really something I’d properly executed and planned for, I do remember being passionate over it and feeling truly excited to update. even if it didn’t end out the way I wanted it to, it’s still something I poured my heart on and that’s magnificent on its own, so I’ll be prouder of myself from now on <33

no worries bb you are not overstepping any boundaries at all !! believe me when I say this ask truly do means a lot to me – more than you’ll ever know. messages like these are what keeps me going, as feedback is important to writers, but most of all it’s the genuine support and sincerity that gets to me. 

I’m truly humbled and grateful right now. thank you for this again and again and again.

THIS MADE ME MORE THAN SMILE !! there’s a lot of things I’m struggling with even if I don’t publicly express it, but messages like these will always have a special place in my heart. I’m sincerely grateful for everything, and I’ll continue writing here and sharing my works!! It’s supportive people like you that make these moments worthwhile. I’ll never forget this message anon AAAAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU THANK YOU YOU HAVE AN EVEN BETTER DAY OR NIGHT, you have me weak in the knees for this

OKAY BRB SOBBING IN HAPPINESS

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[azucanela]

Hi i really loved your first date HC❤❤👌 i dont know if your requests are open but if they are could you maybe do the same thing with baby boi kiri ??

FIRST DATE HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. denki kaminari, kirishima ejirou]

bakugo, todoroki, shinsou version

SUMMARY: how did they ask you out? And how’d the date go? Well... 

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: kissing, pretty pg, corny pick up lines

A/N: im glad you liked it! hope you don’t mind that i added denki bc i wanted to do more than one person lol. also im sorry it took so long!!! i lacked inspiration akjsdlksjkldj

DENKI KAMINARI

SO THIS ONE

so panicked when asking you out like he almost gets bakugo in on it

kirishima suggests super manly stuff like buying you roses but he ends up writing you a little note that says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” he’s kinda freaking out lol

he’s genuinely worried you will say no be careful with his heart

anyways he has it passed through the classroom and is highkey worried the note will be intercepted by aizawa but its fine it fine

and then mina gets it 

in all honesty, you probably thought the note was for mina, and if it did involve getting asked out, it was definitely for her

but then mina passes the note to you with a SMIRK

looks like someone couldn’t READ THE R O O M

smh

anyways, when he turns over to face you in the middle of class, basically sweating bullets, you’re kinda like ??? bc what is this mans doing

you look at the note and realize your name is on it like OH, he probably need homework answer lol

then you open it and it says “will you go out with me? check yes or yes.” 

even though he’s a really flirty person, he likes you alot so that persona kinda fades with you since he respects you 

and it also makes him really nervous around you

you’re kinda like :o

and he’s like :,)

so then you laugh a little in your seat and he begins to panic, and then you look over to him and with a lil grin, and after class you come up to him, “how about a study date, im honestly worried about your grades.”

then you kiss him on the cheek

kaminari.exe

hes dead you killed him, nearly passes out

and thats how denki got his first study date! because his crush who liked him back thought he was dumb!

poor bb

the actual study date would probably be in a café or a library

denki probably prefers the library since it would be easier to just make out with you in the isolated and quiet space BUT

you want food so café it is ugh, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

he gets there first, and he actually brings his textbooks and homework, he’s invested and he wants to impress you so he is going to try his hardest okay

kaminari is internally panicking when he sees you, you do a lil wave and he swears his heart explodes with uwus and WOW you look SO good, he really wants to see you in street clothes more often.

he learns more that day than during his entire time in the hero course at UA. 

naturally, since you two live in the same dorm, he walks you back to your room

and then he comes inside

and then-

anyways he really really really want to kiss you on the first date and totally will if you allow it

you make him drink respect women juice at that café and he leaves a changed man

Denki’s knee was bouncing rapidly as he sat in the café. He’d taken the time this morning to pick out an outfit, and pack his textbooks, along with pens, highlighters, anything you could imagine really. If Y/N wanted a study date, he would try his hardest to make it the best study date possible, though he wasn’t really the best at studying, she’d been right when she’d pointed out his poor grades.

But hey, those grades got him a date, so they weren’t all that bad. 

He’s beginning to regret drinking caffeine as his hand taps against the table anxiously, despite his flirtatious personality, Denki had been on few dates. And he’d been stood up before, that was never fun. Also, it was Y/N, the girl who tried to help him pass all his classes, and shared food with him, and reminded him to do his work. This was important.

He’s about to pull out his phone and text her when the bell at the door of the café rings, his head snapping upwards at the sound to see if its Y/N. Relief floods him when he realizes it is her, a nervous smile finding it’s way onto his face as he waves at her. 

Y/N’s face lights up at the sight of him, and she makes her way over to him with ease, taking a seat across from him as she places her backpack on the floor. Y/N raises a brow, “some came prepared.”

“Yeah well, I’m excited to study.” His eyes meet hers, “with you.”

A small laugh escapes her, and Y/N tilts her head at him curiously, “I’m glad you’re excited.” Her eyes fall on the empty line in the café, “you want something?” 

Denki shakes his head, “no. I’m fine.” 

Y/N hums in response, sitting up to go buy a drink. Before heading over to the cashier, she leans over to him, grinning as she speaks, “calm down, Denki. It’s just a study date.”

“A study date with you.” Comes his response, earning him a flick to the head.

He decides then that Y/N looks very pretty in street clothes, it’s something he wished he’d seen sooner. Her outfit is fairly simple, but she looked beautiful in Denki’s eyes nonetheless. His eyes were trained on hers as she paid the barista, coming back to sit while she waited for her drink. 

Y/N rests her head in her hands, “so. You ready for a crash course in calculus?”

Denki hated school, he wouldn’t deny it. But learning alongside Y/N was far more bearable, and it gave him a sense of normalcy that he craved, seeing as he was incredibly nervous. Though Denki managed to loosen up over time, and now that they were walking back to the dorms, he found himself flirting like normal, “I’m not a photographer, but I could picture you and I together.”

She’s been laughing at the corny pick up lines he’s been using the entire walk home, “really now?” Y/N asks, grinning at him as they walk along the path.

“Yeah, really!” He replies, leaning closer to her, “now. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”

There’s a pause, and Denki wonders if he passed an invisible boundary as he turns to Y/N, only for her to yank him by the collar, bringing his lips to hers. Y/N’s other hand comes to his arm, and Denki is temporarily frozen, though he soon realizes he needs to reciprocate if he wants to keep kissing her.

He really wants to keep kissing her.

Bringing his hands to her waist, Denki pulls her closer, smiling when they pull away and she says, “you were wrong.”

KIRISHIMA EJIROU

THE MANLIEST MAN OF DATES

it’s literally just so much chivalry like kirishima single handedly revived it

chivalry is NOT dead, kirishima just has ALL OF IT

Anyways.

asks you out with the help of our boy baku, gets him to good a meal and puts it in some tupperware,

lol convincing bakugo was the funniest part, and he agreed only because he was like, “what you think my cooking couldn’t get you a date? just you watch!” 

genuinely sees his cooking as a means of bribery

kirishima is grateful because he cannot cook so i hope you can

buys you roses, and approaches you, obviously nervous but keeping his cool

you think he’s gonna ask out bakugo HADHJGDSJHGD

you nudge baku and he gives you a look and is all like, “what the hell, that is all clearly for you.”

y/n.exe

lol kirishima is really sheepish about it he’s all like, “so would you be interested in... i dunno maybe going to dinner or something, as a date?”

embarrased bb

you accept the roses and the food and smile at him like, “sure!”

kirishima is relieved™

your first date is probably just like to the mall, you two get food and shop its nice

tries to pay for everything but he is not todoroki

he is your sugar baby congrats

he likes to watch you shop because you get really excited over really simple things and he does too and its just really adorable

definitely wants a fashion show with you

you’ll probably be like, “i don’t wanna waste your time.”

and then you turn around and kirishima is already holding seven different outfits like, “FASHION SHOW!” because hes manly

he also thinks you look REALLY pretty in all these different outfits like wow

he also has a fashion show and he has no right looking that GOOD in these CLOTHES 

y’all probably have your first kiss here, like you’re trying on clothes and he is hyping you up and you get all soft and he gets off soft and he’s like can i kiss you? and you are like HELL YEHA

opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, gives you his jacket, the KING of being a gentleman 10/10 treats you right

would ask to kiss you and will respect whatever you say when he walks you back to the dorms too

assuming he gets a kiss he’s throwing a party lol

Kirishima smiles as he watches Y/N stare at a skirt, squinting at it as she examines it. It’s cute, she’s cute, and he was ecstatic when she’d agreed to go out with him. The date was simple, just a trip to the mall and lunch in the food court, they’d already eaten, so now Y/N was leading him around the mall as they looked at all the stores.

“Do you think this would look good on me?” She asks, bringing a skirt to her lower half to inspect the look.

He simply takes the skirt and throws it over his arm, which is already holding several other articles of clothing, not that he minds, “I think everything here is gonna look good on you.” Kirishima raises his arm up to gesture towards all the clothing he is carrying as he smiles at her. 

Y/N can’t help it when her cheeks warm and she looks away, “C’mon let’s go to the dressing rooms.” She mumbles, eyes falling on hi, “you sure you don’t want help carrying those?”

Kirishima puffs his chest out a bit at this comment, “I wouldn’t be a very manly boyfriend if I didn’t.” Came his response.

This earns him a raised brow from Y/N as she guides the two of them to the dressing rooms, “boyfriend huh?”

His cheeks flush as red as his hair, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“I like it.” Y/N winks as she takes the clothes from his arms and heads into the dressing room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Kirishima in shock.

He had plopped down onto the bench outside the dressing room, earning sympathetic smiles from those who pass by him, though he really doesn’t mind. If he was honest, he liked this. Y/N got excited over the smallest of things and that got him pretty excited as well, her joy was contagious almost. Kirishima was shocked he’d even scored a date with Y/N in the first place, she was in the top of their class, and had a ridiculous amount of friends, and even more admirers it seemed. 

She’d been trying on clothes for quite some time now, exiting only to show him the outfits, not that responses to these outfits ever changed, since she looked beautiful every time. 

Resting his head in his hand, he hears Y/N call out, “you sure you aren’t bored yet?” She’s slipping on a different outfit, a small smirk on her face as she wonders what his reaction could be. 

“No, not at all.” Kirishima replied, shifting in his seat. 

And then Y/N came out of the dressing room, she had chosen the skirt she’d previously show him along with a low cut top that he had not seen her pick.

Oh god.

Kirishima felt his mouth go dry as it gaped open in shock, “how do I look?” Though she clearly knew what he thought, given his reaction, Kirishima couldn’t help but remind himself that it wasn’t manly to stare. 

“Pretty.” Kirishima replies, “really pretty.” He straighten in his seat, offering her a nervous smile as she watches her spin in a circle. “How is someone so beautiful, literally?

Y/N is beaming at him, a small laugh escaping her as she comes to stand in front of him and replies, “I could say the same about you.” Kirishima's face breaks out into a smile and she brings her hands to his shoulders, “thanks for taking me out Kiri.”

He tilts his head curiously at her actions, “thanks for agreeing to got out with me.”

She hums in response, hands coming to his cheeks as she stood between his legs, locking eyes with Kirishima Y/N gives him a small smile, “can I kiss you, Kiri?”

His eyes widen a fraction and he nods rapidly, “definitely.” He mumbles in reply, eyes closing as their lips met. Kirishima allowed his hands to come waist, squeezing her hips as they kissed.

Yeah, he liked this.

A/N: i have zero inspiration and i feel like kirishima is out of character i am sorry akjdhkjshdkjahs 🙃 anyways kirishima looks respectfully

TAGLISTS[lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]

BNHA: @shawkneecaps​

[ectonurites]

a very very genuine question: so its bad to repost art but no one says anything when people repost things from the source material/creator's sketches.....why?like sure everyone who likes it may recognize the style but there are plenty of fan artists i recognize immediately, new or old art, with or without. to me it just feels the same, like either dont repost art or people should be able to repost stuff, i dont see how they can work at the same time. and this isnt me saying people should be allowed to repost and all that bc i do understand the theory of why reposting hurts artists, just that the logic doesnt seem to fit once it extends to famous artists/creators. just bc its official and easily recognizable makes it okay? how does that work? again, there are plenty of fanartists who are easily recognizable and lose no money when people repost their work (bc they posted it for free) and from my own observation, it seems it just, somehow, makes them want to do art less (from what i have read from artists themselves). why do we not consider that when it comes to official creators? wouldnt they also feasibly be less motivated seeing their hard work plastered across the internet for free when thats the sole way they make their income? and its not a system where its solely sticking it to the man bc it hurts the artists income, as well. but if it makes them happy to see people enjoying and sharing their work with others, drawing interest, why isnt it the same with fan artists? people often repost art, not out of malice or intent to claim credit, but bc they enjoy it + want to share it, esp on social media where sharing isnt a feature (instagram, for example) again im not trying to justify reposting, just confused about the contradiction

First of all instagram does have a form of sharing posts- stories. Which yes they are temporary by default, but you can use the highlight feature to collect your favorite things you’ve shared from people right there on your own profile AND it links back to the original post and can permanently be on your profile as long as you keep it there. You can even label them and everything! But then moving on to answering more of your actual questions

To start: this is a very complicated thing. And I feel everyone trying to answer it might have slightly varied opinions. 

I personally see a pretty clear distinction between ‘Officially published/released’ works (like comic book [as like you’ve probably seen I frequently post comic panels] or other materials that may have been released in creator guides, official video game art, promotional art for things, etc etc) as opposed to like, personal work and fanart. Because with official works:

There’s usually a source to buy it and you should if you’re referencing it a ton (while I don’t own every comic I’ve ever read I do have a lot and if I did read something first through illegal means [because some comics are just straight up hard to find due to age/being out of print] and enjoyed it I try to seek out a physical copy after if possible)

There is a level of far wider recognition (I know you personally might find fanartists’ styles recognizable but like, things that are in mainstream media.. have just such a higher profile. it’s not really comparable) 

If you’re not supporting the official release you’re harming the big company that published it far more than the individual artist (like, the individual artist probably also wouldn’t appreciate it, because it can effect them for sure as well, but they’re not gonna be taking the brunt of the damage unless it was entirely self-published work, which I’d definitely categorize differently from what I’m mainly talking about here.)  

Often fanartists/professional artists who aren’t that well known, in addition to wanting to just create work for the sake of it, also want to build their own platform, to have an audience that they interact with. Or like, if they’re offering commissions, a bigger platform puts you in a position where people will actually see the art and want to commission you. When you say reposts of smaller artists’ fanart doesn’t ‘loose them money’ because they didn’t charge to post it, you’re missing the fact that it makes them loose out on proper linked-back-to-them exposure. Especially like, when a repost account on insta or something says ‘ah yes credit to [username] on tumblr’ the vast majority of people who see it aren’t going to then open up a whole different website and look for the artist. Some people might! but if there’s anything i’ve learned from working professionally in arts marketing it’s that people want things that are convenient and directly in front of them. Someone who wants to see more works because they liked one is significantly more likely to click on the username of someone who posted it rather than opening up a browser or a different app and searching a separate name put in the caption. 

Then honestly, I do feel weird about reposts of professional artists’ more personal works unless the artist has stated they’re fine with people reposting with credit. It should be about the comfort level of the artist. I think a lot of professional artists who aren’t in a position where they’re as worried about building a platform, because they already have one and might have professional connections/opportunities already lined up, might not really care about reposts especially on a website they don’t use. (Like tumblr. I’m coming at this mostly from a comics artist perspective here, but most professional artists I see are waaaay more active on twitter and instagram than tumblr) If it’s a website they don’t use, it’s not taking away from the platform they had been building there for themselves. And also, some artists really just don’t give a shit, which is their choice they can make with their work! But that’s not a universal thing. One artist being fine with their personal art being reposted =/= all artists being fine with it. 

In my own experience as a fanartist, when I see my art reposted without credit, especially when it’s art I’ve also already posted on the same platform... it’s definitely disheartening. Even worse is when the repost gets even more attention than my original post. (something that has happened to me multiple times!) Like, it can get so upsetting!  Because it lets me know that someone else was using my art to build their platform and I got exactly zero benefit out of it. Then when it’s reposted with credit it’s a little less annoying, but I still don’t... get much out of it. Especially if it’s an instagram repost and they credit my tumblr not my account on there, since insta captions don’t actually do links unless it’s to other insta accounts. Also with insta for example, I have a 'business’ account set up so I can look at and track popularity of my posts and see how they’re doing as something to keep in mind when considering posting times, etc etc. When other people repost my art there I have no control over it. That sucks a lot! Also, when I quite literally ask people not to repost my art (it is IN! MY! DESCRIPTION!) and they still do, it’s just straight up disrespectful. I asked for a boundary to be respected with my work and people have just completely ignored it. That doesn’t feel good at all.

But, conversely, I’m gonna talk about my more professional irl work for a sec. I’m a graphic designer, so I do things like posters, logos, etc, When I design a poster for a client that is meant to be advertising something, even if it’s got my own original illustration or something as part of it, I know my name isn’t necessarily going to be attached to it the same way as it is with my personal work. I get a credit line somewhere, but that’s in a fine print probably not even on the poster itself at all, but that’s like, part of what I signed up for. I already get paid separately, I am giving permission for my work to be out of my own hands in that way. Professional work for a client is often setup in some way similar to this. I don’t get mad when I walk down the street and see a poster I made up somewhere without it directly ‘linking’/referencing back to me (aside from maybe my signature if it had an illustration), in fact I go ‘OMG ITS THERE ugh wait i see one pixel is off oh noooooo” and then move on with my day. It’s just an entirely different situation because that kind of work has a different arrangement from the start, where you know it’s going to be put in a different type of circulation.

So yeah, my word isn’t god here, but I definitely see official releases as having a different set of permissions based on the fact that they are published in an entirely different situation. And I think reposts of personal art aren’t cool if the artist isn’t okay with them, no matter how big a platform they have. Other people probably approach this with a slightly different perspective, but that’s mine!

[ahsoka-lives]

Iris pt. 3

Part 3 of my Inquisitor!Cal series!!

A/n: I’ve decided on a series name!! Im calling it Iris because thats what fake moon they live on lmao. Thank you sm for all the love on parts one and two, it means so much to me. I will try to keep posting updates frequently for my sake and yours :) also this gif is by @sovahunter​ !!

Warnings: Using the force mildly inappropriately, things get a lil handsy but nothing serious yet.

Word Count: 3k

  The sun was beginning to go down on the moon. There were only a few hours before you were meant to meet with Cal for dinner. You sat in your office in the maintenance hall filling out the completion forms from your appointments. You found yourself taking your time and looking for any way to drag out the time. Maybe you could give him a rain-check, say you got caught up with work? 

Yes, that’s perfect. You wouldn’t be turning him down necessarily, you’d just be postponing so there would no reason for him to be upset or disappointed, right? You nod to yourself and place your papers into your bag. 

“BD-5, are you there?” You say into your comlink. 

“Yes, y/n. What is it?” 

“I’ll be there soon, would you mind getting dinner started? Oh and are you up for a movie tonight BD? My plans have uh, changed.” Your voice becomes quiet as you go on. 

“You are exceedingly predictable, Y/n, I’ve already begun dinner.” 

“I don’t remember programming you to analyze behavior“ You retort as you exit your office.

You giggle and shake your head. Your companion was your closest friend on the base and listened very well when you ranted about your problems, including earlier that day about the Inquisitor. 

The halls of the base were quiet as they usually were at the end of the day. As you neared the training room you came to a halt. What if Cal was in there again? If you run into him, you couldn’t rely on yourself to talk your way out of dinner. BD-5 was to send a note to him explaining that you had too much work to do and couldn’t join him tonight. 

You decide it’d be best to take the long route to the living quarters and avoid the risk. You head toward the building exit, there was a stairwell for the service workers that led to a large bridge that you could access and get to the living quarters without having to pass any officers or Inquisitors. 

The bridge had large windows that overlooked one of the landing pads that held personal ships making easy access for when an emergency calls. The echo of your shoes hitting the smooth concrete filled the bridge, there was a peacefulness that came with the vacancy. The vents allowed for the sounds of the waves crashing to flow inside with the mist of saltwater. 

You pause for a moment and take in the view, only to be interrupted by the whirring of an imperial ship coming down onto the landing pad below you. You were several floors up but the ship still looked massive. It was a newer model of the tie fighter, with nearly transparent wings and more black detailing than silver. Whoever was inside was lucky to have it, or just skilled enough to have earned it. 

Against your better judgment, you decide to wait for the pilot to exit. There was still dust settling around the ship as the cockpit opened. Time seemed to have slowed with your anticipation. 

Inquisitor combat gear head to toe stepped onto the black sand. You stood in awe of the confidence and power that radiated off of the individual standing below you. A helmet covered their face and head as they marched forward toward the pad guards. 

The guards bowed their heads slightly to the Inquisitor before handing them a small holo-communicator. You hadn’t made out what the communicator was showing and your attention was taken from it before you could. A small and familiar BD unit was hopping toward the Inquisitor. 

Then it clicked. 

It was Cal.

Your eyes snapped toward the Inquisitor who had given the communicator back to the guards and began to remove his helmet. Cal turned to face his companion and the two seemed to be having an exchange. 

Cal’s arm abruptly shot out and reached into the empty air. A few seconds later a small cylindrical piece of metal caught in his hand, his saber. He stood completely still for a moment and his head bowed slightly with his eyes closed as if he was saying a prayer but you knew better than to think the man was praying. 

His head tilted slightly and a small smirk crept onto his face. An empty hand rose and gestured toward the cliffs, reaching once more before closing into a fist. His eyes were still shut as his fist raised, reopened, and two fingers gestured in an upward motion directly at you.

You covered your mouth to stifle your gasp, which was useless as it was clear that he knew of your presence. You backed away from the windows and tried to collect yourself. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, how long had he known you were watching him again? 

Your thoughts were interrupted by something fluttering inside the bridge from a vent. You felt your curiosity pique as it was carried to you by the wind, hovering right in front of you before dropping to the floor. 

Resting in perfect condition at your feet was a flower. 

- 

Cal pulled his helmet back onto his head and looked to the window he sensed you at moments before. He waited a moment before allowing BD-1 to jump onto his place by his shoulder. 

He hoped you liked your gift, he knows you hadn’t seen any of flowers in a long time. Most don’t know of the flora covering the stretches of the land beyond the facility, and for good reason, the fauna was territorial and most are not as prepared to defend themselves. 

He was disappointed in you for canceling dinner but he certainly wasn’t surprised. After all, when he saw you last that morning he had been quite forward with you. He also knew that he couldn’t rely on you to be as forward with him, you were afraid of him. However, he couldn’t help but he enjoy the fear he inspired. But he didn’t want it to be that way for long, his plan was to turn that fear into something else that would be much more enjoyable. 

“What am I going to do about our little stalker, BD?” He was asking himself more than his droid. If you really were busy with work he wouldn’t want to disturb you but he was sure you made it up. Of course, there was no way to tell from the message since your droid spoke in it and the robotic voice held no trace of inconsistency that would indicate a lie. 

Maybe he just had to see for himself.

-

You seemed to have gotten to the elevators before Cal, you’re surprised, to say the least. Upon entering your apartment you immediately head to your room, not wanting to explain the flower or your flustered appearance to your droid. You sigh loudly and look at the flower still in your hand. 

Why was it still in your hand? 

Truthfully, you loved it. You didn’t even know there were flowers on this moon and since it came from him... well let’s just say it felt important. You carefully place it into your bedside table before going to your washroom. You splash the cool water onto your face and calm yourself down. You probably won’t see him until the start of the next work week in two days. 

You pause at the sound of voices coming from behind the two doors blocking you from the main living area. Maybe BD-5 had the television on. You shrug it off and dry your hands before making your way to the kitchen. Once you opened the bedroom door, the voices ceased. 

Your droid appeared in front of you

“Y/n, I told him to wait outside but he insisted on entering. I see what you meant by ‘He has no sense of boundaries!’” BD-5 hurriedly explain.

For a moment you were confused until you remembered 'He has no sense of boundaries’ was something you said to BD-5 about Cal. 

Cal, the Inquisitor who you cancelled dinner plans with. Cal who you just ran from again. Cal who was comfortably sitting on your couch staring at you. Yes, that Cal. 

“ ’No sense of boundaries’ is actually a direct quote from my last performance review.” He chuckled and put his hand on his chest in mock exasperation. “I’m a little hurt, though.” 

You sat there in shock at the Inquisitor sitting in your home as if it was his own, arms stretched, legs relaxed, now in his regular clothing. When did he even have time to change? 

“Oh, you get used to changing quickly when you have less than 60 seconds to be ready for a mission.” He chimed, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Get out of my head.” You snapped. 

His eyebrows raised and a smirk came over his handsome face. He raised his hand and flicked his wrist. 

You winced expecting something to smack you in the head, only to turn and see BD-5 leaving the two of you. 

“Relax, I don’t want to hurt you” He stood up and took a step toward you. “I was disappointed to hear you can’t be with me tonight so I thought I’d stop by and see you for a few minutes.” He spoke so kindly. 

Your heart swelled at his apparent thoughtfulness and you almost felt bad for telling him you were too busy.

“Th-that’s very sweet of you, Cal.” You stuttered out as you tried to remain as calm as possible. He was just back from some kind of mission and obviously still on high alert. 

“Why are you doing that again? Is there something you don’t want me to know, flower?” He was speaking so gently now, it didn’t match who you saw minutes ago on the platform. 

“Doing what?” You asked, playing dumb once again. It was now that you noticed he had taken several steps toward you and your heart jumped. You nonchalantly turned and walked into the kitchen, knowing he would follow. 

He huffed and rolled his eyes, ‘so that’s is how we’re playing this’, he thought to himself. He followed you into your kitchen where you had put your island between the two of you. 

“Why are you trying to keep your thoughts about me hidden from me? It must be tiring to put all that effort into keeping me out of that pretty little head of yours.” He decided he would play along, that is until he becomes bored. “I haven’t even tried to pry my way in yet, do you think you could keep me out if I did?”

“I-I probably not.” You nearly choked out. His eyes were burning into you now and you felt like you could faint. He was right, it was draining to be tightly wound for so long. 

“Probably?” He scoffed playfully and almost showed you a full smile. “That’s really cute, flower. You know I can take what I want when I want it.” 

Your heart must’ve given out. At first, from the compliment that made your face burn slightly from blushing, then again with his second statement. You knew he could take what he wanted in more ways than one and it made you feel a different kind of weak.

“Why can’t you just ask me what you want to know instead of looking for it in my head?” You were surprised at how brave you were being and there was no turning back now. 

“Will you be honest with me? Or did you want BD-5 to come back in and lie on your behalf?” He thought that would stun you for a moment and he was right. You stood there, eyes opened a little wider, mouth agape, processing his words once again. 

“That’s what I thought. You know, I’m not mad, flower, I’m just disappointed.” He tsked and leaned his back against the counter. “When will you learn that you can’t keep things from me? Or is the better question, How?” 

“H-how?” You could admit, you were scared. But you couldn’t ignore the arousal swelling inside of you from him being so forward. You couldn’t help but think that he was similarly assertive elsewhere. His lips were pinkish red and it looked like there was a small cut on it, maybe from today’s mission. Wondering what they felt like against your skin was probably, no, definitely not what you should have been thinking about but you couldn’t catch the thought from coming forward in your head. 

“Yes, y/n. How will you ever learn?” His voice was low and steady, his eyes still on you only now they looked different. His normal green was tinted lightly with yellow. 

You opened your mouth to question it when his hand raised and his wrist flicked to the side once again. This time you didn’t flinch, instead, you watched in near amazement to see what he did. Only, what he did was not something that called for amazement.

The door to the kitchen slid shut and locked. Your eyebrows raised and you looked at him again, only to find he was now only steps ahead of you. You felt a small panic ensue and start to move to the other side of the island, hoping to make space between the two of you, only to feel two strong hands grip your waist and pull you back. 

You let out a small yelp as you’re set onto the countertop with Cal standing in between your legs. Your breathing is all too heavy as you place a hand on his chest and one on the counter to balance yourself. 

“Is this so bad?” He coos and gently moves a piece of hair from your face. 

“N-no, n-not at all.” You felt frozen in place, unsure of his next move. His eyes still have a light yellow sheen over the iris and you’re just about to ask when his thumb moves to caress your cheek. His hands were soothing but slightly rough,  you assumed from time spent with his saber. Stunned, you stay silent and watch his face for any signs of what he might do next. 

He then gently moves your chin up to make you meet his eyes and moves two fingers to press to your temple. Your body runs cold as the realization hits you. 

“Now, are you going to let me in, or am I letting myself in?” He growled lowly, his other hand on your waist holding you steady. 

You didn’t know what else to do besides, you definitely did not want him poking around in your head so you closed your eyes and tried your best to clear everything out, just like Trilla taught you. But you were no force-sensitive warrior. No, one of those was standing against you with his fingers pressed to your temple. 

He really should commend Trilla for her teaching effort, but he was sure she didn’t tell you that some force users are especially gifted in mind reading. Usually this would hurt whoever was on the receiving end but Cal was better at it than most.

“You need to relax, flower, or it may hurt.” He muttered. 

You felt the idea of letting him in creep forward in your mind and it was all too tempting. Was this a mind trick? Wait, did he say it’d hurt?

Suddenly a soft kiss was pressed to the side of your neck, then another, and another. Your hand pressed into his chest and grabbed his shirt in your fist. He hummed against your neck before his hand left it’s place at your temple. You relaxed for a moment and closed your eyes feeling content, his lips were soft and warm against your skin. You would never expect him to be so gentle. You moved your hand up to his hair as he continued peppering kisses to your neck and slightly exposed shoulder.

And as quickly as it came, the moment left. Your hands were suddenly moved behind your back to support you, only this wasn’t you. Your eyes flew open and a gasp left your mouth as his teeth dug into your neck. Two fingers returned to your temple as he sucked a mark onto your skin, as if to distract from the pressure he was applying to your temple. And distract it did, your mind was left vulnerable and all it took was a light push to open up for him.

He pulled away from your neck to look into your hazy eyes. He read through your many, many thoughts of him as you stared back into his, unable to move. His eyes were now nothing short of golden and it would’ve caused a shocked reaction if you didn’t feel so dazed. Him being in your head felt good, like a spice high.

He hummed again and a small smile formed on his lips. Who knew you could have such inappropriate thoughts of him. Having gotten what he came for, he released his hold on your mind and body. Knowing you would be weak from the high, he moved to support you.

He hooked an arm under your knees and one behind your shoulders. This time, with only the movement of his eyes, the kitchen door slid back open. He carried you to your bed and laid you down, noticing you had fallen asleep in his arms. He stilled for a moment and took note of how you furrowed your brows slightly even in your sleep.

You were so cute.

He pulled the covers over you and placed a kiss to your forehead.

As he turned to leave he felt a pull back toward the bed. Against his deepest wishes, it wasn’t you. It was something in your bedside table. A small part of him thought about respecting your privacy before remembering that he really didn’t care.

Sliding open the drawer, he didn’t know what he was expecting but he felt almost relieved by what he found.

“Good girl.” He muttered before shutting the drawer again and leaving you to dream of him again.