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anonil88 · 4 years ago

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Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

#Malcolm & Marie #malcolm and marie #zendaya coleman #zendaya #john david washington #liveblog #mine

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grayintogreen · 3 years ago

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How do you think Lucien's upbringing was for him to give that evil monologue? I'm specially curious about the "Someone needed to be the parent. When children have been acting out, well, making a mess of their potential, for this long even, a responsible caretaker must show discipline, enact punishment, and take the reins with force". Do you think Lucien was a gifted child who grew up to be the average adult or something like that?

This is actually funny, because Lucien gives that huge ass speech after he EXPLICITLY TOLD THE M9 HE DIDN'T HAVE FAMILY, so like LUCIEN. YOU FUCKING ORPHAN. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

But I'm going to tell you!

Here's the thing- Lucien gives off two very strong vibes to me, and these two things make up the entire crux of his personality as I, personally see it.

1. Massively self-sufficient.

2. Gifted child who was never challenged properly.

Lucien very much gives off the Dad Friend Vibe of the Tombtakers in like the worst possible way. Like not the NICE Dad Friend. The Dad Friend who has a belt and will use it on you. You know... The, uh... Cult Leader Vibe. What is a cult leader but the worst kind of dad friend. Yikes. Anyway.

So I think most of his speech about caretakers are specific to how HE has viewed wrangling the Tombtakers for however many years he's been doing it, because as someone who has been massively self-sufficient he has had to be his own parent and thus feels he is qualified to be the parent to others, even if he's being a parent to other children. I don't think that came from a place of experience, because I feel like if an adult beat that into him, he would have marginally different issues. Like that whole spiel doesn't sound like it comes from a place of emotional pain, so much as it's just him listing facts about what he thinks parents are supposed to do. It's a very by the book, intellectual response, like someone who has taught himself how to behave like that because It Is Logical And Right. Like in comparison, Lucien, in that same speech, reacts deeply emotionally to one single thing- the way he says "and they chose ME to be their herald" is one of the single most choked up line deliveries he ever gives. THAT is where his emotional pain comes from. He didn't feel special and the Somnovem made him feel special, but WE WILL GET TO THAT. Stick a pin in that.

Honestly, it sounds like Lucien seems to consider ANYONE who isn't him a child, despite the fact that he is CANONLY IN HIS MID-TWENTIES. He talks down to literally every single person he meets. He acts like he walks into rooms, looks at everyone assembled, and immediately is like "wow which of you fucks are wasting your potential in here, have you tried not doing that." I think some of this is just that he has gone so far beyond "enlightenment" that everyone is Lesser than he is, but I also firmly believe he was just Like That. If he sees people who are useful to him, then of course his "parental" nature (re: his manipulative streak) is going to want to try and nurture that potential. I don't even think he actively considers it being manipulative. He thinks he's doing people a favor.

The way he talks about the Somnovem to Cree about how he wanted to save them as they saved him ultimately boils down to this: he believed the Somnovem couldn't function without his intervention and he was the only person who had the skill and imagination to direct them the way they needed to go. And I think he's thought that about A LOT of people over the years. It's not malicious to him. It's not cruel- even if what he does to get obedience probably is. It's for their own good. Again- yikes. He's a fucked up person, y'all.

Now the gifted kid thing gets into some "oh god are you projecting on this villain chris" shit, because I am a former, massively understimulated gifted kid who burned out in high school because I was bored too often and spent more time daydreaming than I did paying attention.

Guess what Lucien's calling card is? Oh right. He's a dreamer.

That's Lucien. Lucien is a gifted kid who had NOWHERE to put his gifts. He's gifted in a town where half the population can't even read, so of course he developed a massive complex about being the smartest in the room, the only TRUE adult, even when he was, yanno a KID.

See when I was in elementary school, I was just soooo smart. I was reading HIGH SCHOOL level books for FUN and ooooooh so cool. Yeah, I'm not even bragging about it. Every gifted kid I have ever met has this same story, and I can be flippant about it because I know where it goes. You get into high school and your brain hits a goddamn brick wall and you get anxiety because you're not the most special anymore. Oh look! There's that pin I put there. I told you we'd circle back to that.

For Lucien, high school was probably the Orders. The Orders are an INTELLIGENCE-BASED organization, meaning for the first time in his life, Lucien isn't the smartest person in the room, because everyone is smart, so he no longer has that advantage he once had and he's no longer special. That is DEVASTATING to deal with, and because Lucien already had a massive superiority complex, instead of burning out and getting passing grades and ultimately resigning himself to a mediocre life of Blood Huntering, he went "no it is the ORDERS who are wrong" and fucked off with his posse.

Which meant that the FIRST THING that made him feel special and validated his existence, he went whole ham on, and then the minute it wasn't what he thought it was, he switched gears and decided "no, I AM special. You just need a little but of parental guidance, and we'll do this properly."

tl;dr: Lucien is 100% what you get when a gifted kid goes absolutely balls to the wall insane. As a former gifted kid, can confirm that I might have sold my soul to a bunch of eldritch sugar daddies if they validated me enough too. I won't lie.

#critical role #lucien the nonagon #lucien #the tombtakers #my asks

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sukunas-play-thing · 5 years ago

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Keigo Takami(Hawks) xFem!Reader

A/N: This.This sinful display was solely created for pure filth and depravity. I'm so horny for this Bird that I am literally. Writing a fic about fucking him, his ankles. And wings. Yes you heard me. Inspiration hit while talking to @lady-bakuhoe and she fully supported this. Also, real quick to that anon that sent me hate, including @makoodles rather you're the same anon or nah. We talk to each other. Remember that next time you send hate. this is a big fuck you to you. Because we don't need that negativity. How Dare you attack ppl under the ruse of Jo's name she kept apologizing to me because of YOU. So yeah Fuck you. And to those still reading this. I love you. And enjoy this Hawks smut. Y'know ya want it;)

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

Warning: heavily NSFW content, ankle play (possible foot fetish?), wing play, orgasm denial, degradation, minor phone play?, body worship, cock warming, blow jobs, palming, choking, bondage. Whelp. Think that's it for that.

Description: You and the № 2 hero suffer great sexual frustration due to lack of personal time together, constantly rescheduling, a lot of late nights lying in bed waiting for him to come home safe. You've finally. Had enough.

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Hawks x Fem!Reader

°Human Anatomy °

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"I'm sorry baby. I love you-"

you deleted the voice message Keigo left you on your answering machine. This is the fourth -no FIFTH time he had to reschedule your date. And you were out right floored with anger. And it wasn't even Keigo's fault. "Stupid hero society. Stupid villains." You muttered to no one in particular as you could literally taste the acid in your mouth. If you saw anyone other than Hawks in this moment. You Would, could and will literally. Spit acid and burn through your humiliation and anger. Tossing your keys on a nearby vanity, throwing your coat on the ground you stomped off to the only place you could feel tranquil and relaxed. A long, scolding hot bubble bath with good tunes playing. You could cry. Thinking of the last time you two even had sex. Of course you shame yourself for being so selfish. It truly wasn't his fault, and you were not about to complain about him not having time for you, because it's just that. His job. His life's work. You went into this relationship fully respecting, and understanding exactly what you were getting yourself into. It took you years just to get Hawks in your bedroom, let alone as a couple for the mere fact the relationship was not allowed from the Hero safety commission. When word had gotten out about your relationship you heard from Keigo that they demanded it be cut off immediately. Why? You weren't sure. Keigo never really told you as to why they manhandled his entire life to evolve purely on work alone. And you were far to respectful to press further on the issue. Instead biting your tongue with such Fury it nearly bled. And taking what you have with Keigo as luck. Yes. You were lucky to get this far with him, and Odin be damned if you gave up on him now. So now, here you were, angry, alone and on the verge of tears while you waited for your bath. Music played on deaf ears, the loneliness slowly creeping. Along with the throb of yearning and desperation between your thighs. You quivered. Moving your hands between your legs to relieve much needed friction. You could play with yourself, you could bring out your trusty vibrator, get a good orgasm and knock out for the night. But you shook the thought out of your head faster than you would blink. Because you didn't want a damn toy to please you. You were far past using toys at this point now, you needed, no craved Keigo. His whole being. You missed his smell, you missed his smile, his eyes, his hair, begrudgingly his wings regardless of the mess they'd leave behind. You whimpered out of pure want, that it hurt. You noticed the water nearly reaching over the tub. Quickly shutting it off you climbed off the edge and made a beeline for your room. Opening the door to the scent of his cologne. You inhaled it and sighed contented. A small smile gracing your features while rummaging through your drawers. While also looking through your closet for that lingerie set you bought ages ago. You stared at it sitting sinfully on your bed. It's vibrant colors desperately calling for you to wear it. Before feeling a pang in your heart. A small voice telling you you'll never be able to wear it for it's full potential, throwing it carelessly in your closet you went into the bathroom stripping and getting into the tub. ¥¥¥¥¥¥

My neck is breaking, body shaking Sometimes it's so hard to breathe You took in a sharp inhale of breath. Closing your eyes as if the lyrics and musician was reaching into your heart and soul. But no one sees it follows me I always end up underneath You see Keigo's smile. See him laying next to you while you both talked, bodies still covered in sweat from your recent activities until the sun came up. The weight of the world Tears fell from your face. Emotions finally overtaking your entire being until you finally crack under the weight. Shooting up from the laying position you were in furiously wiping your face in disgust. This has gone long enough. As you were cleaning the bathroom up you hear the door closing and shuffling of feet padding against the cold floor. "Baby?." Your heart lept from your throat. Before rushing out of the bathroom seeing Keigo. All in his glory, standing at the threshold of the living room, eyes warn heavy with sleep and his hands in his pockets. You saw the way his face lit up. How his wings flexed upon your figure standing just a few feet away from your towel clad body. You didn't give him time to make another comment, before your body clashed against him. It's been far too long. He chuckles, regaining balance you almost knock out of him. Wings fully enveloping you into a tight, warm embrace as you took in his scent. "God I needed you so badly." You mumbled. Keigo let out a hearty breath. Before tightening his hold on you. "M'sorry baby. For Everything." Your half expecting him to make a sexual, cocky remark. But still enjoyed this glow. Of warmth, safety and love from just the hug. Before you felt the body numbing throb in your loins. You felt you slick pool from your core and you nearly salivate at the thought of him taking you right here on the floor. The feeling was so overwhelming that you mewled deliciously in his chest. Wings feathering up sending a jolt straight to his cock he moaned.

"Damn babe. Can't even make me dinner first?." There it was.

You slapped his chest playfully before sauntering off into your room. Of course without rolling your hips that reeks of needing dick down. Keigo's eyes never leaving your form. Blood rushing to his dick straining his pants even tighter. He began walking towards the bedroom while simultaneously rubbing himself of the tension. "I wasn't expecting you back until later. Hadn't had time to cook." His smirk soon fell into a frown. She must've been so upset with the cancellation she didn't bother cooking. His heart fell with guilt head low while he mumbled another 'Sorry.' Under his breath. He quickly discarded his over-sized jacket, eyewear and headset on the floor carelessly and flopping on the bed.

Granted it should've hurt the base of his wings, but they merely unfolded and layed lazily across the bed, the one wing dangling off the side. Turning your head you would've scolded him for leaving a mess. But he ended up making a mess of you. You could see his delicious dick print through his trousers, heavy and hard. Watching the small rise and fall of his chest, seeing how his under shirt hugged his upper body, you rubbed your thighs together for much needed friction. Still clad in your towel, you walked over to the front of the bed, his eyes lidded watching you as you helped take off his shoes for him. "Why don't ya take that towel off for me too pretty bird." Your body froze. He let out a throaty, husky groan. "Do it for Daddy."

As you were yanking the bastard off your needy body, the sheer excitedness disappeared as fast at it came when his phones call ringtone filled the once quiet room. All tranquility gone along with your last straw. Keigo instinctively took it out and answered, much to your dismay. Not that he wanted to fuck you over in this moment, it's out of pure habit. "Yes?." His voice said from the other side of the phone. Before watching his eyes roll and a grumble escaped his mouth. Lifting a finger he mouthed "meeting. One moment." It was your turn to roll your eyes. Canceling dates is one thing. But right as he's about to get his dick wet? Fucking demented. "Yes I'll hold." His voice brought you from you angry monologue. You shifted in place as Keigo kept mouthing apologies, while he was speaking, you decided to act now, or forever hold your peace. Crawling your way towards his limp body, Keigo almost didn't realize you were hovering right above him until it was too late. He stopped abruptly, watching you with calculate eyes. Before you leaned down and began suckling his skin shown just above the neckline of his hero shirt. His eyes closed in bliss as his cock rose to life instantaneously. It' astounds him the power you have over his body. His Dick was completely flaccid until now, you bit down on his sweet spot as he let out a throaty moan. Which in turn shot a pleasurable jolt to your pussy. Eliciting a moan from you. "Fuck baby." He went to run his hands through your tresses to bring your body much closer, "Excuse me what was that Hawks." The voice rang from the other side. He felt as if he was caught with his hand down the cookie jar, while he quickly reflexes his hand away embarrassed, you couldn't help the playful giggle erupt from your plush lips. Lips he wanted around his cock and on his awaiting lips. "N'othin sir. Continue." He tried to wave you off to keep himself put together. 'such a Meek little bird.' you thought to yourself. Before lowering yourself down till you were eye level with his hard member. You licked your lips, eyes darting up to watch him carefully. Before your tongue came out and swiped at the zipper of his jeans. Keigo's eyes widened his head shooting up to look down at you so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. 'She wouldn't Dare..' He thought to himself. 'fuck' he inwardly groaned as she quickly undid his pants and yanked them down to his thighs. Cock springing free from it's confines as his head lolled back in pleasure. Letting out baited breath while still maintaining a composed voice for the meeting. You began quick work not giving Keigo time to compose himself, before meekly giving his thick throbbing cock a long lick from base, to head. Keigo's eyes shut tightly and hissed out in pleasure. Hand balled up into a tight fist, he muttered a 'not now baby' before you cut him off by shoving his cock deep in your mouth. You gagged, but refused to let up before bobbing your head with determined vigor. Either he'll hang up or don't. You didn't give a fuck anymore. Keigo let out a loud guttural moan, before cursing himself as an angry voice was heard from the other side.

"I-I-. " his hand grabbed your hair. "I STUBBED MY TOE." You threw your head back from his cock with a 'pop' sound covering your mouth stifling your laughter. You could die at how embarrassed and flustered Keigo was right now. His face red as his wings, while being yelled at by meeting goers on the other side of the phone. Once you contained yourself you smiled coyly at Keigo. Very same cat like grin he'd give you before. "If they wanted a meeting." You said while crawling your way towards him, and whispering in his ear. "They can call you at a more respectful time. Because this is." You kissed his cheek. "Our time." Keigo mentally screamed. He was torn between attending this meeting now, and fucking your brains out. Clearly the later was already decided, as he felt your hot, throbbing wet sex lay flat against his shaft. His pupils dilated in lust while he kept eye contact with you.

Your eyes lidded over, while your hips rolled up and down motions on his sex. He watched with baited breath, yearning a playful lip bite from you, as you began riding his shaft with so much sex appeal it should be Rated triple X. Something in Keigo snapped, and he found himself smothering you in a heated kiss. His tongue prodding at your plump lips begging for entrance. Which you happily obliged eagerly fighting his appendage for dominance. And Dominance you will get, for you moved your hand between your bodies while grinding against his cock, wrapping your hands around his neck snugly while Keigo gasped in surprised with how you were handling him. "Shhh." His eyes opened. "Let's not piss off your bastard bosses." Your head cocked to the side as you stilled your movements, body downright on fire at this point.

He can feel your pussy clench around nothing while warming his cock. His smirk soon found it's way on his handsome features, almost causing you to mewl in pleasure from how hot he looked. "Do your worst birdie." Little bastard. As he began talking freely about a recent mission he completed, your eyes narrowed while his eyes would occasionally dart towards you. His newfound cockiness pissing you off further, before finally removing yourself from his body completely. Keigo's once confident smirk turned into a sputter of protests before he watched you move yourself above the top of his wing, his eyes widened in horror.

"What the fuck." He said aloud, voices falling on deaf ears as he watched you lower yourself enough to add friction but not too much weight to keep from hurting his wings. And begun grinding against the sturdiest part of the Appendage. He should be livid that you'd use his wings in such a way. "Babe. Don't-." Words cut short while he watches your face contort in sinful pleasure. Hands moving to play with your breasts, pulling the pert, hardened nipples between your fingers, while throwing your head back and letting out a breathless moan. He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't indulge in this fucked up behavior. But- he focused on his feathers, moving them lightning speed, sending jolts of pleasure throughout your over stimulated, heated body. His cock twitched, and throbbed in pain at this point. Aching to be touched. Missing your heat. His hand absent-mindedly running down his chest, stomach eventually touching his cock. He gave himself and long tug, precum oozing from the head. Using it to lubricate himself for easier use. Finally the meeting was cut short, something something catch ya later assholes. Keigo quickly tossed his phone to the floor eyes still glued to you as another In coming call was arriving. Little did Keigo know he unintentionally answered the call. You finally let out the loudest moan possible.

The vibrations of his feathers reaching the base of the wing. Your grinding becoming erratic. Uncaring of the pain he begun feeling Keigo begun working his cock to match your pace. His groans and throaty chuckles filled the air. Fuck you were so hot riding his wing. His orgasm fast approaching he could feel his lower abdomen flex, as his peak was nearly broken his hand was yanked from his cock, eyes shooting open you were back hovering over him with a sinister glint in your eye. Holy fuck that shouldn't turn him on anymore than he already was, before he knew it you sank down on his cock. "HOLY. FUCK. (NAME)."

you used a rag you brought from the bathroom and covered his eyes with, and then he felt his hands bound and tied to the headboard. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He then felt your body shift off his cock. He whimpered, begged for you to come back. "You make me wait all this time. And you think I'm going to give you what you want Birdie?." He inwardly gulped at your harsh tone. Cock throbbing yet again. He moaned again as he felt you place opened mouth kisses to his stomach before lifting his shirt. Having his front bare. He looked so pretty like this. Wings splayed out. Hands tied, eyes bound. Pants to his thighs and a sheen layer of sweat causing his hair to cling to his face. Legs trembling and his member sprung to life. A panting, horny mess he was, Keigo.

You admired the view as you took a photo for. Later activities. Removing yourself further down, Keigo focused as hard as he could to figure out what you were up to. She already denied his orgasm. And now this? Fuck he's tormented. She ripped his shirt completely open, he nearly nutted on the spot. "Don't you dare cum Keigo." Fuuuuuuuuuck. He threw his head back down, you began leaving hot kisses and love bites along his neck, chest, hip, inner groin, thighs. Murmuring how beautiful and good he's being. His hands fought the restraints, wishing, praying that he could touch you. Give you his complete utter attention that you so craved. Seems the roles are reversed, and that he's just going to have to hold on. After leaving your fill of marks on his gorgeous skin, you so in begun straddling his right leg. He bounced it in surprise, which enticed a moan from you. "Pretty Bird?" He asked voice barely a whisper. His ankle barely brushed your clit. You bit your lip. Before grinding on his ankle. Subtle. Keigo is writhing against the restraints, refusing the let you come undone by this.

"Baby.. Please." He knew he sounded pathetic Knew his pleads are going on deaf ears. He jerked his foot upwards, your head thrown back in ecstasy.

He turned his foot sideways, your clit rubbing against the ball connecting his ankle and joints. You rolled your hips against the bone like a women starved. Your back arching, sweating dripping down your back. Keigo used his feathers to remove the blindfold and cut the restraints then thrown on your back before you could process what was happening.

"You're not getting off on my ankle little cumslut."

He threw his trousers off as he crawled back over to you legs spread wide for him as you wrapped your hand around his throat he was so far gone in lust to even care, infact. It further aroused him. Eyes blown completely he bored through you. Chest heaving and panting heavily. In one fell swoop buried balls deep in your shopping cunt. The shrill shriek that left your parted lips pushed Keigo last the teasing. And went at a full blown mind numbing feral pace. He was breathing fast and heavy through his nose while he let out husky groans. Your hand begun digging into the flesh of his neck nearly cutting off circulation but he didn't care. All he cared about was the feeling of your wet cunt sucking his cock in ways he liked. His hands found their way on either side of your head, finding home at the edge of the bed before setting a fast pace, pistoning his pelvis against yours at inhuman speeds.

Your breasts bounced at the sheer force, knocking the air right out of you. Wrapping your legs tight around his waist drawing him deeper and harder into your heat. Keigo was fast. Almost too fast for your mind to process anything at this point, except his thick cock brushing your spongy spot that made you see stars, "you like that birdie? Like it when I drive my fat cock in your pussy?." He was taunting you, edging you on. "Cum on this cock like the pretty slut that you are." His grunts getting closer together in between pants. His breath heavy. Wings curling in shutting yourselves from the world.

"Yes Kei-Yesyesyesyesyes-." The dam in your stomach threatened to break. To spill all your secrets onto the bare walls of the bedroom everything long forgotten in the combined heats of your bodies. Mind fogging over in pure haze as your climax came crashing down on you. So much so you screamed till your throat burned. Keigo soon came undone by the tight vice grip your cunt had on his cock. Hot sticky spurts of cum shooting inside your womb. And painting your walls white. His head threw back and let out such a delicious moan you nearly - "Oh-FuKEIGO." You thought you had just pissed yourself, but soon noticed clear hot liquid shooting out of your pussy and covering both you and Keigo.

You had squirted. Bodies lay limp on damp wet sheets while you both tried to catch your breath. Sweat and your liquids mingling together. Keigo landed flat against you, face in the Crook of your neck. Wings splayed out across the entire bed. And that's how you both laid for the longest time. Completely spent and ruined. When you both came down from your highs, Keigo lifted his face to look at you, smile adorned his rather flushed expression. Eyes softened, and an afterglow you wish you could commemorate to memory. He looked stunning. He kissed you with careless abandon. While stroking your cheek tenderly. Affection far different compared to his earlier treatment. He was in bliss. After your fill of that You both got cleaned up, and got back into bed before turning in for the night, while having mindless chatter before sleep finally succumbed you both. Keigo should've been careful though. In the midst of his heated lust. He didn't realize the phone call was still running.

Before the man on the other end finally hung up.

Cerulean Eyes peering out into the quiet night lit city outside his window.

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

A/N: I proofread as much I could while stoned Af so please bear with my shitytness.

#keigo takami #TAKE ME DADDY #takami keigo #mha #bnha hawks #bnha #keigo x reader #smut #tw #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #winged hero hawks #hawks imagines #Jo I grant you the pull power of ankle play #Jo this is a gift for you an I whose soul purpose was to indulge In Hawks Ankle #x reader #keigo #number 2 hero #boku no hero academia hawks

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madeofitzits · 5 years ago

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In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x)

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x)

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7. ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x)

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x)

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x)

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x)

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x)

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x)

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x)

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x)

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58. … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x)

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

youtube

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x)

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x)

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x)

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

youtube

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x)

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

#99 reasons to love #andy samberg #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #a masterpost for the best boy there is

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seulbby · 5 years ago

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nothing hurts more

——————————————————————————

warnings - angst, unrequited love, sweating

pairings - steve rogers x reader, bucky barnes x reader (platonic) steve rogers x natasha romanoff

a/n - idk why but i love angst lol.

“i’m going to tell him” you’ve had feelings for america’s golden boy for months now and also happen to be your bestfriend. bucky kept telling you to just say something because he swears steve feels the same way.

“finally!! you actually taking my advice.” he was more than estatic which was weird because this is your love life? but whatever. as you were walking up to go to steve your feelings you over hear a conversation that maybe you didn’t want to over hear.

•••

“i know she has feelings for me tony, but i’m with natasha and y/n isn’t my type at all.” it hurt. that’s a pain you never thought you’d feel. but you can’t show your emotions right now in the open. so you walk in like nothing happened. what are you supposed to say to that.

“oh hey y/n. when did you walk in?” now he’s trying to save his own ass. how nice. but just the sound of his voice makes you wanna break down and cry.

“just walked in captain.” to keep your composer you just grab a water bottle and walk out. you can’t stand the thought of being in here any longer.

“oh well do you wanna hangout and watch a move for old time sake?” he says with that goofy grin he always does when he wants something. you really want to say yes, but you can’t. you just need to go in your room and cry and cry until you can’t because this is the most broken you’ve ever felt.

“not right now cap. i’m pretty tired so goodnight.” you pains your to say it but you can’t hang around him anymore. you just can’t. it would take to much out of you just to make him happy and you can’t do it anymore.

“oh. well goodnight maybe we can hangout tomorrow” probably not you thought. probably never again.

with that you just nod and walk out. you legs don’t move quick enough to get out of that environment. once you get back to your room you can’t open the door fast enough. as soon as your in you slide down the door and cry. cry until your heart is repaired. cry until you can’t anymore.

after of what felt like hours of crying you hear a knock.

“hey y/n. it’s bucky. are you okay in there? i hear crying.” you stand up and wipe your eyes and open the door.

“hey buck” as soon has he looks at you his heart breaks. he’s never seen you so distraught. he’s never seen you cry at all actually. your usually not a crier. but tonight is the exception.

“omg what happened?”

“he’s with natasha” you said with a shrug. there’s not much else to say.

“i am so sorry y/n. i had no idea. if i did i wouldn’t have pushed you” he brings you into a hug. and that’s the last straw and the dam breaks. you cry and cry some more and your sobbing and doing those weird hiccup things you do when you cry to hard.

•••

it’s been a couple days since that whole fiasco and the only thing you got out of this is unrequited love is a bitch. it’s a whole bitch and a half. this pain in your chest is unlike any other. it isn’t like the tile you got shot during a mission. it isn’t like the time you got hit by one of sams wings.

you haven’t talked to steve since that night. it hurt you to much so you asked friday to keep you updated on his whereabouts so you didn’t run into him. youuu go to the gym late at night so you wouldn’t see him. the only good thing that you got out of this is you got closer to bucky. bucky has always been a good friend but now you could safely say he is probably your bestfriend. after wanda. she’d get mad if she heard you say that.

bucky has been there thought out the days of your broken heart. it’s been great having him there for you. but the one time he can’t be you see steve since that night.

as you walked into the kitchen you see him making cereal. you shocked. you asked friday if he was out here and she said no. that little weasel.

“hey y/n. where have you been? i haven’t seen you in a couple days.” what’s are you supposed to say to that? well i have kinda been ignoring you for the last couple days because you broke my heart unintentionally.

“haven’t been feeling well so i’ve stuck to my room to avoid getting anyone else sick.” you lied. straight through your teeth.

“well that’s funny cause i saw bucky go in there quite a few times. so” fuck. fuck. fuck. how the fuck do you get out of this.

“oh well he was just bringing me medicine and stuff. it’s not a big deal” another lie. you just can’t stop the lies from coming. you hate confrontation. so you just try to avoid it as soon as possible.

“oh well why didn’t you ask me? i could’ve helped you and brought you medicine that’s what best friends are for” bestfriends. the word made you wince.

“well he offered and i didn’t want to be a burden so. but i’m gonna go. see ya”

“y/b wait-“ before he could finish it you were already halfway down the hallway. this was no way to heal a broken heart.

•••

the next time you saw him was a couple days later and he was knocking on your door.

“y/n. open the door. i know your in there”

“just a minute.” you didn’t have anything on besides bucky’s t-shirt and panties. you were in your room after all. after finding a pair of sweat pants you open the door.

“hey steve what’s up?”

“well i was hoping we could watch a movie or something since we haven’t hung out in a while..” what the fuck. you thought. you can’t do this. you haven’t even stopped crying yourself to sleep at night. you can’t handle this.

“actually i was about to go to bed and i’m still a little sick wouldn’t want you to get sick”

“cut the bullshit y/n. you know i can’t get sick. why have you been avoiding me?”

“i haven’t been. i told you i was sick. i haven’t been up to hangout with anyone.”

“that’s bullshit because bucky has been in here every night hanging out with you. so what’s your deal?”

“nothing steve! mind your own fucking business.”

“i can’t when soemthing it going on with my bestfriend so please tell me so i can fix it.” running thing is, this was soemthing he couldn’t fix.

“you can’t fix it! so please get the fuck out and leave me alone!!” you were yelling at this point. how come he couldn’t take a hint and leave you alone? this was all to much. next thing you know he’s bathing in your room and closing the door.

“tell me what going on with you! because we used to hangout all the tome every day! and now you can’t even look at me?” of course you can’t. because you love him and he loves someone else.

“because i love you. and u love someone else. so please give me a couple weeks to get over it before we start hanging out again. because i can’t heal my broken heart when your always around. so please can you get the fuck out now?!” you were out of breathe at this point from your monologue. but yet he’s still standing there.

“you don’t thing i’ve known? i see the way you look at me but i choose to ignore it because your my bestfriend besides bucky and i love nat. so why can’t we go back to normal now?” he was seriously pissing you off. why can’t he accept you decision to wait a couple weeks and heal yourself?

“no. i said get the fuck out now. because i can’t deal with this. and if you don’t get out of my room we’re not friends anymore.” this whole situation was exhausting to say the least.

“okay whatever” and with that he left. fianlly you thought. he can’t just expect you to heal over night. like what kind of person does that.

•••

it’s been a couple months and you haven’t talked to steve since that night. you’d gotten over the whole thing fairly. a little bit of you is still heartbroken he didn’t feel the same way. but what can you do.

you’ve been on a couple dates with someone special. actually someone really special. and ou there he was.

“hey bucky” yes bucky was your new someone special. after he helped you get over steve. you realized you had feelings for him.

“hey baby, how’s it going” you both decided not to tell the team yet. and since there was no one around you guys could act like you did in private.

“good good. how do u feel about having a movie night tonight?” you asked as you walked up to him for a kiss.

“what the fucK?!”oh shit. you both just got caught. you whip your head to see who that came from. and guess who it was. mr. captain america himself. “shit” you whispered.

“hey steve. how’s it going?” bucky tried playing it cool. steve really shouldn’t be so mad. he chose someone else when you had feelings for him so.

“what’s going on in here? you going through the whole team?” you couldn’t believe what just came out of his mouth. at this moment you decide to channel your inner merideth grey.

“what did u just say to me?” shut was going down. other member of the team heard and were gathering in at this point.

“this is unforgivable. you going after my bestfriend.”

“i don’t remember asking you to forgive me.” this was getting real heated real quick.

“what? you gonna go to wilson now? or maybe stark i heard he sleeps around” a gasp eluded everyone.

“you don’t get to call me a whore. when i met you i thought i had found the person i was going to spend the rest of my life with. i was done. so all the boys and the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? because i was done. you didn’t love me. you chose natasha. i’m all glued back together now. i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke. you don’t get to call me a whore” and with that you left. you left steve dumbfounded and embarrassed and standing there. you left the rest of the team shocked and surprised at your outburst. you’d never been that blunt before to anyone.

bucky follow you after you left.

“hey, you okay baby?” he was always so sweet to you.

“yea i’m okay. it feels good to get that off of my chest.” you laughed. it did actually feel like you got a weight lifted of your shoulders.

you finally felt happy. with bucky and with everything. so you were good.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes #angst #unrequited affection #comics #movies #celebrities #marvel

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jesslivesau · 4 years ago

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jess au @iloveeverythingwaytoomuch

pre show jess: doesn't know anything except that sam told her some fucked up shit and she didn't really believe him much like amelia didn't believe jimmy but what's clear to her is that sam's upbringing was deeply fucked up in what might've been some kind of apocalypse doomsday cult and she can say "sam, it wasn't real" as much as she can til she's blue in the face but it isn't going to change the fact that sam is Deeply Fucked Up by Shit. and it upsets her and confuses her but he does a good job of setting it aside or knowing when to give in and he's such a sweet and Loving Dude otherwise so she just files it away in her bf trauma bank and keeps cheering him on

s1 jess: your bf's CRAZY brother shows up says he needs help finding your bf's CRAZY dad who may or may not have been part of a doomsday cult and you say, bitch i watched the heaven's gate documentary there is NO WAY i'm letting you leave with him, but he's not gonna Stay cuz he insists it's just for one night (and his brother DOES seem relatively stable, like, as a person), so jess insists she'll go too. while she's in the back seat sam tells dean he told her everything dean's like lol. sure. you believe in ghosts, sweetheart? and jess is like no but i do believe that i'll kick your ass if we don't get home in time for sam's interview tomorrow morning. and then the whole white woman thing happens and she's like oh fuck it's REAL but they DO GO HOME and instead of jess dying on the ceiling there's like idk ghost mary on the ceiling or some shit and they NARROWLY escape the fire together andddd idk they can't go back to stanford cuz it's not safe and their apartment complex literally went up in flames. there’s a more complex reason here but idk what it is. maybe it was brady (demon brady) who died or something IDK LISTEN ITS JUST AN AU

anyway all of season 1 when they’re trying to track down john jess is the voice of reason asking why do they need john in the first place? And eventually sam is like listen we don’t need HIM but if he’s got research on where yellow eyes is, that’s what we need. and dean is mad about that and he’s mad at jess and they bicker like crazy. and sam sleeps on the floor because dean is like dude cmon. don’t make me sleep in the same room as you and your gf together. maybe meg gets replaced by meg possessing jess, and she doesn’t get thrown out the window so when they exorcise her she just needs a hospital and then she’ll be ok. and that would explain why she’s in the hospital and not there for the finale, but can meet up with sam & john & dean in the hospital after

s2 jess: sam is so consumed by grief and fear that jess is actually the first one to notice that dean’s spirit might still be still Around. i’m imagining a scene where sam is asleep next to dean’s bed and jess is awake, and she slowly looks around towards dean and you see ghost!dean Connecting with her for the first time

obviously, all the grief episodes keep happening. maybe jess got seriously hurt as well tbh so she goes back to her parents house to recover; there’s an episode where the boys go meet her parents and dean and sam’s Daddy Issues come out in full force. eventually jess is back and kicking ass and slowly getting along more with dean, partially perhaps because of dean’s Grief Response to john’s death, which is that all the anger and hate comes bubbling up, and jess is like i don’t fucking know this dude, but from what sam’s told me, i hate him, which is not something that sam is in a position to Deal With right now. things proceed pretty much along the course

i am considering now if jess could also be a special child. she also has some kind of psychic abilities but i’d have to choose something cool for her. anyway if she IS then that gets her in the town with sam in all hell breaks loose which i think is the best place for her during that arc? i know all the other special children supposedly had to die but maybe her psychic power was to go inviisble or something lmfao i don’t fucking know. anyway dean has his sad monologue but jess either (a) fully shuts down or (b) just goes STRAIGHT to hunt down whatever the fuck his name is. jake? leverage man? that would be dope actually. and then actually dean, sam, bobby, and ellen actually meet her at the hell’s gate

s3 jess: truly does not understand why they’re hunting. gets into arguments with the boys all the time about how this is pointless, if you’re not gonna try and save yourself then why can’t you just put it down and let yourself have this year?? and dean’s a little bit like you know what jessica that makes a lot of damn sense. but it makes sam mad and they argue a lot about it and jess probably takes off halfway through the season. maybe after malleus maleficarum? partly cuz that’s the ep where ruby more or less becomes part of the team and also when she confirms that she can’t save dean from hell. and i just feel like jess would be like i cannot.... Sit Here.... and watch you both drive yourself into the ground. dean, if you’re gonna die, sam’s coming after you. you knew that. you just didn’t want him to go first.

maybe dean hits her lmfao and sam screams at him for it and jess just Walks Away, tearfully

s4 jess: so jess bailed midway through s3, but when dean wakes up and starts making calls in that phonebooth, he calls bobby and bobby hangs up, so he calls jess. and she comes and gets him.

jess and sam are obviously not together anymore, but jess is totally civil with sam and even with ruby. she’s like we can work together, it’s fine, whatever. and this is the season where dean and jess really bond and become a good Team. and cas is just usually confused why jess is Around but eventually gets used to her. i’ve toyed with jess being jewish which would lend a good and also funny perspective to all the heaven and hell stuff

jess heard about hell first from dean, but not the specifics of the stuff that dean told sam, not until after on the head of a pin. she’s their Lore Expert on seals and is trying to identify as many of them as possible so they can put in place safeguards, and maybe that bumps her up against angel priorities for an episode. maybe we get an episode where cas has to Threaten her 00 and he can say something like sam and dean are important..... you are not. remember that. and then [flappy wings vanish]

uhhhh jess’s siren in the siren episode....... is just like a carbon copy of sam lmfao. which is extremely funny and sam and jess will both kind of awkwardly clear their throats and not address that. i guess jess is just fucking stuck with bobby during the finale because the point of her presence is that she’s so USELESS to both demons and angels

s5 jess: i’d probably add in an early episode where her parents are killed, probably by demons because the demons know they can’t touch the winchesters due to angel shit but they can fuck up jess as much as they want. then when sam and dean temporarily split up jess would go with dean cuz she’s a hunter now and has nowhere else to go and it doesn’t feel right to just sit around with sam. or maybe she also leaves and splits up and doesn’t stick with dean cuz she’s processing her own traumatic shit. at any rate, early in the season there’s a moment where sam is Gone and dean and jess are drinking together and talking about their feelings and they have a moment where they gaze at each other in the eyes and almost lean towards each other.... then jess goes you know what? this is fucking weird and dean is like oh thank god you said that absolutely this is too weird

in The End, it’s revealed that jess was killed and no one will tell dean more information or talk about her until he finds out that she was pregnant when she was killed (presumably with sammifer’s baby)

in changing channels they get put into a telenovela and sam and jess have an tearful emotionally charged confession scene in spanish. this is about when sam and jess finally get back together [cue cheering]

in the chuck eps it’s revealed chuck rewrote it so that jess died on the ceiling in the first book cuz he was like “i just didn’t think it made sense for her to be alive! it was literary symmetry that’s all!”

in sam, interrupted when sam is all high on meds that’s when he says lots of kooky sweet shit to jess about wanting to MARRY her and have a FAMILY together and it’s sweet and also dean throws up in his mouth a little bit having to hear it

in my bloody valentine the thing that jess is hungry for is Family but i do not know the logistics of how

in dark side of the moon jess does die with the boys but it takes a while to find her, tho they eventually do in one of sam’s favorite memories (probably from the first time they met or something). she’s like what the fuck i’m jewish

no, i have no clue how she factors into swan song. she just does, ok. lucifer can snap her neck along with bobby’s

s6 jess: she tried to check in with dean occasionally at the braedens, and actually had dinner with them once but started checking in less and less as the year went on, and it turns out she knew that sam was back and she’d been hunting with him + the campbells and a couple things

when dean finds out he is truly FURIOUS, but jess is like dean i saw you with lisa and ben! i saw you getting better! i saw you happy, i saw you ok, and hell i’ve only known you since you showed up in palo alto five years ago but it was the most at peace i’ve ever seen you, and i couldn’t take that away from you, and neither could sam.

she’s also like yes, dean, he’s different, he’s colder, it makes me sad but who was the one who put up with YOU when you were spiralling after your dad’s death? or when you were all buttoned up after you came back from hell? he did! so show him a god damn OUNCE of empathy, would you!

and when they find out he’s soulless jess is like. hm. and dean is like i TOLD you there was something wrong with him!!! and jess is like i mean.... yeah....... and maybe i didn’t really want to admit it... cuz.... the sex was So good.........

[soulless sam winks at her]

anyway, s6 happens the way it happens and that’s fine

s7: the only important thing that happens in s7 is that Season Seven, It’s Time For a Wedding! is actually about some sort of monster and the only way to kill it is to cast a spell but the spell must be cast by “two warriors joined before god” which means married and cas is awkward about it cuz he doesn’t want to Presume Anything

and the whole episode is lots of sam and jess being like “i mean, of course, if you want to..... .like, but if you DON’T, that’s also totally fine, of course.... you know.... whatever you’re comfortable with” until finally they’re in the final battle and cas has to marry them the way barbossa does for will and elizabeth in potc and when dean is pinned against the wall by the monster he goes “DAMMIT JESS WILL YOU KISS MY BROTHER ALREADY” and then sam dips jess in a kiss and the monster is instantly obliterated [heart eyes]

i truly genuinely do not remember anything that happens in s7. anyway jess and sam are married now

s8: sam was with jess the whole year dean was in purgatory. they were struggling to get back to normal life after everything. dean is still fucking mad that sam didn’t go looking for him. i assume everything else goes pretty much according to whatever the fuck happened in s8 except jess at one point has to go to bat for benny cuz sam for some reason hates him so much

i’ve been toying with the idea of jess doing the trials not sam but i mean how can i take that away from my Boy

s9: i do not know anything that happened in this season ):

s10: see above

s11: see above

s12: now i never watched s12, but in this au there is no lucifer’s son jack. instead jess gets pregnant midway through the season; cas finds out first because he can sense it and he’s like why does it feel like there’s an extra being in the bunker, and then he spills to dean cuz he can’t keep a secret, and then dean is like “oh shit what are you gonna do” and jess is like well!!!! sam and i.... talked about this. we were.....open to the possibility. and dean is like wtf how could u possibly bring a child into this world that’s fucked up adn cas is like [wipes tear] that’s beautiful

anyway when they come back from some kind of hunt (probably something that involved claire) and sam and jess are in the bunker, sam goes “jess, seeing claire, seeing jody and the girls.... it makes me think.... i wanna have a family with you” and jess hugs him and then cas walks into the bunker with dean and is like “oh, have you told him about the baby?” and everyone SCREAMS at him

and cas uses his annual miracle allowance to just reverse time about 30 seconds so when he enters the bunker he just goes “i have nothing to say” and Fucking Leaves

the baby is born in the back of the impala in the s12 finale, on the way to the hospital. dean is devastated. he’ll have to reupholster the WHOLE THING. sam accidentally names the baby john but they don’t want to tell dean that so they decide to call him jack.

s13-15 gets to be mostly about how cute it is to have a wittle baby in the bunker. cas is the best babysitter because he loves babies and is very powerful so he can protect him. the occultum nonsense in s15 can be about finding a Safe Place for baby jack, no matter what happens to the rest of the world. sam tells jess, you go with him, you’ll be safe there. dean tells sam, you go with them, you’ll be safe there. all of that good good cute family stuff. was it the best idea to have a baby in the middle of constant apocalypses? maybe not, but like, they are ALWAYS in constant apocalypses, so at some point you just have to bite the bullet

anyway. please clap

#au

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caroline18mars · 5 years ago

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A Man On Fire - Chapter 75

“Harper! Va bene tesoro, sei arrivato, finalmente” Arno came walking up to her which made her stop in her tracks, oh god, what was he now? Late thirties? The last time she had seen him..was what? a decade ago?. Jared squeezed her hand as he too stopped but took a step forward as to protect her from the man approaching them, “Arno..ciao, come stai?” what else was there to say to someone who still felt like a stranger to her? Her eldest brother stopped in front of them seeing Jared's protective demeanour, “If you don't mind we'll switch to English, Arno, this is Jared, he's my ..boyfriend” she swallowed hard. “Nice to meet you, Jared, I'm Harper's brother, I believe we talked on the phone” he greeted Jared in impeccable English and impeccable manners, “nice to finally meet you too, Arno” Jared shook his hand. “You've grown into a beautiful, young woman” Arno smiled at his sister who stood there awkwardly biting her lip, “yeah, thanks..” she took a deep breath when she was pulled against her brother's hard chest in a hug, something they had never done in their entire life. It broke Jared's heart to see them act all awkward, so she had never experienced what it really was to have the support and the love of a sibling, he just couldn't imagine that he and Shannon would ever greet each other with such an emotional distance between them. “How's papa?” she quickly let go of her brother and asked the pivotal question, “same as yesterday I'm afraid..mama is with him now, the rest of the family has gone back to the hotel to get some rest” he nervously said, knowing full well how tense the situation could become between her and their mother. “Wait here, I'll go tell her to give you some time with him” he smiled and turned to go, Jared felt her hand tremble in his “oh babe, shhh, you nervous?” he pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head, “I don't know if this was such a good idea, I'm not sure I can do this” her breath flowed warm and soft through his shirt. “Of course you can do it, if you want I can come with you” ” he breathed in her hair “you decide”, it felt good that he left her the choice, right now it seemed like there had never existed a reason for their break up, maybe there wasn’t, maybe it was all that stupid pride of her all along, just like her pride was preventing her from just walking inside the hospital room of her father, pride and fear, the two most powerful and also most powerless words in the world. “I would prefer for you to be there with me, yes, are you sure you can handle that?” she slowly let go of him, “I can handle anything when you’re involved, remember that” he took her hand and kissed it, “come on, we’ll do this together”.

Harper saw her mother come out of the room without even giving her the light of day, “You’re only allowed 15 minutes” Arno gave her a faint smile, he too was dumbstruck by all the vile things their mother had just said to him about his sister, but he tried to hide it and opened the door to their father’s room for them. Jared walked in after her and saw her gasp just looking at her father who was attached to all kinds of tubes and machinery, “I can’t..” she turned to Jared, despair and fear flashing in her eyes, her breath weezing in her throat, “it’s ok, you can do this, go sit with him, I’ll be right here..there’s nothing to fear, ok?” what the fuck, he himself didn’t even believe his own words anymore, but he couldn’t allow himself to storm out of that room, he’d promised he was gonna be there for her and he was gonna keep that promise. He gave her a confident nod, she took a deep breath, turned around and headed towards the bed of her father again to pull a chair close to the side, “Ciao papa, sono io, Harper Coco” reluctantly she put her hand over his. This hand that had been raised towards her so many times, was now here resting underneath hers, so many fights, so much abuse, that entire hurricane of anger and hurt was stilled right here and right now where there was nothing left to say. That’s how she sat there for a few minutes, all still but Jared could see the war in her head that was raging, he would fly to the moon and back just to be able to help her, comfort her, but this was something she could only do herself, unfortunately.

It was so weird sitting here, all these tubes and machines didn’t scare her, she was getting used to them with all the huffs and puffs and bleeps but this silence between them was new and heavily uncomfortable, all her life her Dad had screamed and yelled at her and now he could no longer, which one was better? Did it matter right now?. “Why did you always hate me so much, papa? Because I didn’t follow your footsteps and be the good little girl you’ve always wanted me to be? Why couldn’t you accept the path I followed and what it brought me? Huh? Why? It brought me so much and made my life so much richer..and wealthier..maybe even your entire scene at the gallery has finally brought me fame, that’s the irony of it though, you of all people were the one who made me sell all those paintings, maybe I should be grateful, huh?!” she sarcastically huffed through the tears that were streaming down her face. “And you know what? My choice of life brought me Jared..and you like Jared, so you can be happy with that..and if not..well I guess that’s just tough because I’m not trading him for anyone”. Jared’s head shot up and despite the situation and the room they were in, his heart had never done more somersaults, meanwhile Harper kept talking, desperately trying not to unleash her pent-up anger of all those years, on her father. “You know, I keep asking myself the same question over and over again, was it worth it, Dad? Was it really worth all that anger, that hate you threw my way all those years? Disowning me? Taking my title away from me? I mean, was it all because I went my own way? Or was it to cover up something else?” now the words came pouring out, and she got all agitated “I guess I'll never know, will I? You come storming into that gallery on my big night and you just drop half dead on the scene? Was that another one of your little schemes to ruin my night? Was it? Why the fuck were you even there?”. The tears came fast and furious now, so Jared decided to step out of his little comfortzone on the other side of the room but she shot him such an angry glare when she heard him walk up behind her that he automatically decided to leave her be and he backed off again. “You made it feel for me like I never had a family, you turned everyone against me, nobody ever bothered to contact me in all those years, except you, wait no, your lawyer contacted me, you never even bothered to have a conversation with me! I've been dead to you for so many, many years, well guess what papa, you're dead to me too” she was sobbing so hard her voice was but a screech by now. “I did what I had to do, what was expected of me, so this is it, Dad, if this is too hard for you to keep holding on, or if you were waiting for me somehow then you can go, not that you need my blessing, but you can go” she angrily and roughly wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her jacket and nodded “whatever it's gonna be, you decide”.

Like it was meant to be, there was a soft knock on the door and a nurse walked in “I'm so sorry, Miss, but he needs his rest” and headed to the bed to check on his vitals. Harper quickly brushed the rest of her tears away and nodded, the last of her monologue with her father was without words, he could see it in the slowness with which she let go of his hand, Jared approached her for the second time, this time her reaction was a lot less hostile, “come” he reached for her hand and she grabbed it immediately, clinging to it as she got up and he escorted her slowly out of the room. “You ok?” her brother had worry scribbled all over his face when he walked up to them in the corridor, “No..yes..I don't know, ask me later ok?”, Jared felt her tremble, “listen..uhm..it's been a long day and I could do with a drink..something to eat, there's this place at the end of the block, maybe we could go together”. Before Harper could decline her brother's invitation, Jared nodded “good idea, give us all some time to catch our breath” she needed her family right now even though she would deny it, and so far Arno was her only ally. The hussle and bussle of New York did her good as they walked to the restaurant, it was the only trigger that entered right now as the conversation with and the sight of her Dad was playing on a loop inside her head. Jared held open the door for her and it was heartbreaking to see a grown up brother and sister act so awkward with and around each other, it was almost like a scene from a movie where the nervous older brother was 12 again and out with his kid sister, both of them so far out of their comfort zone, the older brother wants to comfort her, protect his little sister, but she looks so scared of him like they're not even siblings.

The waitress walked up to them with a huge smile, pointing at a booth in the middle of the crowded restaurant, “hey..” Arno put his hand over hers but she reacted like she was stung by a bee, trying not to pull her hand away too fast “it's ok..he's not here, he can't hurt you”, what did he just say? He knew? They had talked on the phone a few times, but they had never talked about anything this deep, so far he had always been the mediator, always choosing the middle of the road, staying away from the real issues and misery. “Wait, what? You know?” she suddenly hissed at her brother who turned bright red, like he was caught in the act, “Coco, I..” he tried to think of the right way to answer her question, “don't 'Coco' me, who am I kidding? You all knew, mother, our sisters, brothers, everybody knew that Coco was Daddy's punching bag and you never did anything to stop it?” she banged her fist on the table, making every head in the entire room turn. “Ok babe, shhhh, calm down” Jared put his hand on her fist to calm her down “it's ok, your brother doesn't mean any harm, just let him answer, just stay calm ok?” and to his surprise it worked and she remained calm. “Coco, I didn't know, ok, you've gotta believe me, I only found out about a few days ago from Mama, she mentioned something about you and Papa and..it triggered a few things I must have pushed away, so I kept asking her about it, we even had a fight..you have to believe me, Harper, that's why I called you”. It was the 'triggered a few things' part and especially the 'pushing away' that calmed her down, she knew he was telling the truth, this entire family was all about hiding and pushing things away, to the outside world they were the perfect, wealthy diplomates family with all those beautiful kids and their nannies travelling the globe. All the hurt, the physical pain, the blows, the fights, the authoritarian upbringing was always kept neatly inside, “I was hoping that you and I could finally start to reconnect again, I've been a lousy brother to you, so all I can hope for is that you'll give me chance to be that brother you desperately needed..I love you, Coco, you're my sister..” Arno whispered at her and it certainly had its' effect on her because she clasped her hand over her mouth and tears started rolling again, “I'll take that as a 'yes' as in 'yes, I will give you that chance to be my brother again', because nothing would make me happier, Coco”. Harper could hardly believe what she was hearing, could there finally be a glimmer of hope and light coming out of all this misery? “I've missed you so much, Arno..and I love you too” she nodded while swallowing her tears away.

#jared leto #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #fanfic #fic #fanfiction #30 Seconds To Mars #30secondstomars #30 secondstomars fanfic #30stm fanfiction #a man on fire #chapter 75 #Harper and Jared #Harper Coco #caroline18mars

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doof-doofblog · 5 years ago

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“I’m Fine!”

Monday 1st June 2020

Good Morning/Afternoon folks! Once again, I apologise that this post is a little late, I unfortunately missed out on watching EastEnders last night, but I have watched it instead this morning and will cover it today, as well as posting later tonight following tonight's episode. So there will be two posts today! I know last night was the episode everyone has been waiting for, it's been teased as one of the most exciting and different episodes EastEnders have ever done.

Wow! Just Wow! What an incredible episode! I don't think I've seen anything like this portrayed on TV, ever! I want to applaud everyone involved in this episode for making it so iconic and memorable! I'm sure this episode will go down as one of EastEnders most epic and memorable moments. EastEnders have been known to do episodes where it all focuses on just the one character, Dot did it once with a huge monologue that lasted the whole episode, Stacey had one where she was suffering from bipolar and postpartum psychosis, Bobby had one when he returned and was seeing the ghost of Lucy everywhere. This time it was all about Ben and focusing on his hearing loss, giving the viewers an insight to what it may be like for a person living without their hearing.

I was a little bit confused to what was happening right at the beginning, but of course it all makes sense. At first, I thought Ben might've been dreaming, but obviously it was all revealed later on in the episode. I thought it was wonderful how Lexi was using sign language to communicate with Ben, giving him his breakfast and asking him to tuck her up into bed at night, little Lexi is a beautiful little actress. Even when Ben and Lexi were walking through the Square, it was incredible how they did it. Ben not being able to hear exactly what's being said by everyone. He could see lips moving and people talking but not being able to hear just the sound of voices chattering. Even when Jean approached him and greeted him very briefly, he couldn't even make out what was being said to him! When he saw Lola and Peter talking from a distance, he knew something was going on, I thought it was very clever the way it was portrayed. He was so focused on something so far away, he didn't even see the van coming towards him and he nearly stepped out in front of it. Realising what he had done, he realised he might've scared Lexi and told her not to worry, what Lexi said then really touched me ... "Don't die Daddy, I need you. Even if your ears don't work!" - what a truly inspirational little girl!

Then the scene between him and Phil when they were in the house talking about the plans going forward with the job they were being involved in with Danny. Realising that Ben could only make out certain words Phil was saying, he kinda was getting some form of understanding at how the job would go. When Phil was explaining it and showing him the map, you just know that you're going to worry for Ben. Would he be able to go through with it? Even when Ben asked to him to slow down a little so he could lip read, even Phil was a little unsure as to whether Ben should take part. When he told Ben that perhaps he should stay away due to the state he was in with his hearing, Ben was clearly hurt. He was so desperate to prove to his Dad that he could help, regardless of his disability. He's said countless times that he is still the same. He is still the same lad who could help him, but he is very vulnerable, he doesn't want to believe it, but he is.

Oooooh and then he decided to approach Lola, after seeing her and Peter from a distance he needed to know what was going on between them. Even though he knew something was going on, he jumped to conclusions about Lola having an affair with Peter, this clearly and understandably upset Lola and she walked way, while Jay saw everything from afar. Later on Jay approached Ben asking what his issue with Lola was, it was only then Jay revealed to Ben that Lola aborted his baby due to Ben's current situation. To be honest, I kinda forgot that Lola didn't really tell anyone, I didn't realise it was just her and Jay who knew about the abortion. But that just made Ben even more angry, had she really blamed Ben as a cover up? Now, that scene between Lola and Ben in the Arches, I found was very powerful. Both of them shouting and pleading to each other, trying to understand each other, was incredible, especially due to the fact that Ben could only make out certain words that Lola was saying. Lola did admit to him that she only slept with Peter the once, only because she thought that they had split up and weren't getting back together. She also did make clear that the reason for her abortion was because of Ben, how would she have been able to cope with a newborn baby, Lexi and having to look after Ben because of his hearing loss. I hoped Ben would understand where she was coming from, but the question is now, what is Ben going to do with the information about her and Peter? He's clearly disappointed with her, surely he wouldn't tell Jay what she's revealed to him and upset his brother? Will he end up confronting Peter and warn him to stay away?! To be honest, it looked as if he was about to approach the Car Lot when he saw Peter inside, but then he got distracted by the cars arriving to pick Phil up for the job.

Realising he had missed the opportunity to sneak into the cars, he jumped into another car and followed. He arrived at what looked like a deserted building, slowly he made his way through trying to find where his Dad and Danny would be. I thought it was so clever that all you could hear was Ben's breathing and the odd sound of metal rumbling. When he found that liquid on the wall - was that blood?! Whatever it was, it scared him and he felt the need to grab his gun. I was a little concerned as I thought he would be getting himself into danger the more he walked through the building. Only then, what happened? His phone went off didn't it! Poor Callum was texting him asking him when he would be home, little did he know what his boyfriend was really getting up to! Then, he was found, a gun pointed in his back, all you could hear were the shakes and nerves in Ben's voice as he was eventually found, only to be led to a room where his Dad and Phil were.

Both of them looked so shocked to see him there, but it also looked as if Phil had been hit. I am right in saying that Phil had a mark on his forehead? Could that be where the blood on the wall had come from? What had they done to him? For a moment, I did think either Ben or Phil were going to be seriously hurt, only what happened next really shook me! Danny didn't want Ben there in the first place, he was angry that he had shown up and even said to Phil that he wouldn't take the risk. Danny knew Ben had hearing problems, but then what he did next really shocked me! He grabbed Ben, shouting at him "You can't hear me, can you?!" - "Is this your good ear? Is it?!" - and then BANG! ... For a moment, I wasn't too sure whether he had actually shot Ben in his good ear, or whether he had just shot the gun so close to his ear that it caused Ben to screech in pain, as the sound could've easily affected his hearing ability. Even when Danny turned around to Phil and said to him "Say goodbye to your son!" - you could see that Phil didn't want to put his son's life in danger. I don't know why, but I loved it when Ben and Phil were looking at each other and Phil was gesturing to Ben to actually do something, as if to say "C'mon! Get up and fight!" ... was Phil using sign language? Was that how Ben knew what to do? Whatever it was, I thought it was brilliant! Ben and Phil - The Mitchell's back to how they were! When they were battling their way through the gang members, I was like "Yeah!!! Go on boys!" HAHA!

However, they now needed to get away. Now, I don't know about you, but I was more worried for Phil at this moment, when I saw them running away, I didn't think Phil would get that far, but I'm happy and surprised to say that he did! Ben was clearly struggling behind him though, after being shot either in his ear or so close to his ear, the sound was ear-piercing and there was constant ringing in his ears, as much as he was trying to focus on his hearing loss, he was trying to focus on following his Dad. For a moment, I did think he was going to get lost, thankfully Phil came back for him and dragged him away before Danny and his gang could catch up. Phil got them to the van which had all the money inside and quickly drove it away before Danny could reach them. I'm happy to see that they both got away and Phil managed to get his money, but then - did anyone else notice? Complete silence! Ben could no longer hear what his Dad was saying, has he lost his hearing completely? Could this mean that Ben's permanently deaf? Could he still have his operation? There are so many questions to ask, the episode ended on such a cliffhanger! Is Danny going to come back for them and get his revenge? I don't think we've seen the last of Danny, after what happened in that episode, nah ... he's going to want to get to get revenge and I don't think he'll stop until he does. Does this mean that someone close to the Mitchell could get involved, as in like, kidnapped or hurt? What does this mean for Phil now also? Does he have enough money to buy Sharon the Vic? Will he realise what's happened with Ben's hearing? Is Callum going to find out what's happened to his boyfriend and where he was? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Overall, I thought the episode was incredible! It really was an eye-opener and it gave an insight to what being deaf is really like. Everyone involved in this episode and story-line have been fantastic, Max Bowden really deserves an award for his performance in this episode. Steve McFadden, once again, nothing but greatness! In my opinion this has been one of the best episodes ever. I don't know where they're going to go from here regarding Ben, but i'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. We know this new character, Frankie, has been introduced. After what has happened with Ben and realising he's lost his hearing completely, will he take her up on her offer of introducing him to the deaf community and seeing how they carry on with their lives? It'll be a big insight for Ben and for viewers I believe. I'm really looking forward to seeing what's going to happen next, I am really excited.

Before I leave you, I'm aware that more spoilers have been released for next week's episodes, so I'll leave them here for you to look at. I'll try not to spoil too much for you but, due to a tracking device on his car, Gray finds out his car was driven to Stratford - it was Gray's car Ben used to go to the job - But will Gray jump to conclusions and accuse Chantelle of having an affair? Also Whitney is still clearly struggling, things get a bit awkward after she tries to kiss Gray. Then Keegan and Tiffany are still coming to blows with each other, could things be nearing the end for them? And lastly, Sharon has a difficult day ahead as Ian puts together a memorial for Dennis, what could she and Phil be talking about?

Thank you everyone for taking your time to read my blog! I hope you've all enjoyed it. What an amazing episode right? And we haven't got long to wait to see what happens next. I'll be back tonight with another blog following tonight's episode! Thanks again everyone! Stay safe! Love you all xXx

#eastenders #spoilers #benmitchell #philmitchell #danny hardcastle #lolapearce #peterbeale #jaybrown #leximitchell #ballum #callumhighway #grayatkins #whitneydean #keeganbaker #tiffanybutcher #sharonmitchell #chantelleatkins #ianbeale

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belizedeservesbetter · 5 years ago

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Slave Play and The Thin Place

I saw two different shows a couple weeks ago and both are pretty spoilery if I get too into it so I thought I’d write two small reviews because both of these plays made me think and feel something and my Slave Play playbill photo came out blurry so you’re only getting my Thin Place one

I think I want to start with The Thin Place, written by, according to Playwrights Horizons’ website, “rockstar playwright Lucas Hnath.” This is one of the plays I’ve been looking forward to most this season, especially after hearing him talk about it at Signature’s State of the Play event and learning that it’s a horror play that made people genuinely scared/jump in their seats. I think horror is such an underutilized genre in theatre, which is a shame because the whole theatricality of actuality should make it more popular, no? The fact that you are physically in the same room as a scary thing as a scary thing is happening heightens the fear factor, so I’m surprised horror isn’t a more common theatre thing.

Anyways

Without giving too much away, The Thin Place is about a woman named Hilda (about halfway through a character is like “what kind of name is that?” which I appreciated), who has always been more in touch with the supernatural, whose her mother has recently died? disappeared? ...? and is looking for answers. She meets Linda, who can commune with the dead, and thinks she’s absolutely incredible and starts a relationship with her. However, Hilda wants to learn more about what Linda does and how she does it, but Linda isn’t keen on telling. That’s all I’m going to tell you about the play! I think you’re better off not knowing anything else about the plot.

What I will tell you is there are in fact some scares and I did jump in my seat and there was a genuine sense of fear I felt throughout. Hnath does that with dramatic tension alone, which is totally awesome.

In true Lucas Hnath fashion, the play is a lot of very interesting monologues with a structure that resembles a Greek tragedy in the best way possible. He’s crafted wonderfully full characters who feel both very real but also on another plane. There’s a kind of supernatural quality to each of them, like their world looks a lot like ours but might might not necessarily be the same. Perhaps it takes place in one of Hillary and Clinton’s many different universes.

But I digress.

Like most of Hnath’s plays, they’re “about” one thing, but really about a much deeper thing. For his two Broadway ones, it’s been marriage. For this, it’s grief and loss and painful relationships, both romantic and familial. There are a lot of moments that hit very hard and unexpectedly so.

The acting is uniformly excellent, with Emily Cass McDonnell being the clear standout as Hilda. She speaks about 80% of the dialogue and is both inviting and isolating at the same time? She exudes both loneliness and warmth and I wanted to know everything about Hilda.

I will say the sight lines in the theater itself aren’t great, but that’s more due to the actual physical theater than anything about the play itself, or Les Water’s super cool directing. It’s one of those “well there’s nothing to be done about it” kind of situations, but it’s worth knowing going in. Also! There is a special effect that could trigger a seizure, so that is also something worth knowing if that could be a potential issue.

Overall, I really truly loved The Thin Place and it really made me believe in theatre again.

Now to Slave Play, which I enjoyed a whole lot less.

Again, this is another play where the less you know, the better. However, much like The Thin Place, it is divided into three parts, with each part being fairly different from each other. As for Slave Play, I thought part one was interesting, part two too long and part three focused on the wrong characters.

Overall, the play was not as shocking, funny, or “important” as everyone has been telling me. I think the hype really killed this one for me. If people had said “oh this is a good play,” then I would have seen it and thought “okay yes this is a good play.” I didn’t hate it by any means, I just didn’t love it and didn’t think it was “important” or “shocking” or very profound.

Jeremy O. Harris is a good writer. He has a lot of promise. He’s good with dialogue. However, I will say his Twitter presence is a bit off putting, as well as his active combativeness with anyone who dislikes his play. Seeing his response to the bad reviews for “Daddy” was a little painful. Likewise, the fact that he started the show late for Rihanna and proceeded to text her throughout the entire play was pretty awful. Here’s the thing though, if he didn’t tweet about it, we never would have known and there’d be no “controversy” at all. So he kind of did this to himself.

Anyway, back to his play.

Okay so it was fine. That’s the best thing I can say about it. It was fine. There were some interesting characters and it was fairly well-written and I think I laughed once or twice. The show focuses on three couples (kind of a fourth, but we’ll get into that) and the couple I found most engaging was the gay couple, aka Gary and Dustin. They felt the most honest of all the couples, and the most gut wrenching. They were also my two favorite actors of the night, Ato Blankson Wood and James Ousati-Moyer. Ousati-Moyer is a real star and I can’t wait to see him in more plays. He had stage presence like a spark and I was utterly captivated by everything he had to say, even if what he was saying at times was pure nonsense.

Overall, the acting was really good. Everyone was great, and it was nice to see Paul Alexander Nolan in something that is not Escape to Margarittaville.

I’ll break down my review of Slave Play into its three parts.

The first part is by far the best part of the play. It is fresh and unique and original and funny and a critique all at once. It’s also kind of horrifying. This part really worked for me and I knew what Harris was trying to say and I enjoyed it.

Part two rolled around and I did not enjoy it anymore. First of all, the directing for part two is bad. The characters are sitting in chairs for over an hour, which is painful to get through in such a large theater. Likewise, the two therapist characters (the kind of 4th couple) are absolutely obnoxious and take away from the show. We didn’t need two of them and they needed to be taken in a different direction. I really don’t want to get into the themes and what they talk about in this, because that’s very very spoilery and I do not have the strength to dissect this right now, so I’ll leave it at part two being boring and too long.

Part three, then, focuses on the couple comprising of Kaneisha and Jim. The least interesting of the couples! Then this part basically rehashes the information we got in part two and ends on a big bad spoilery thing that I think was thrown in there for shock value. Again, should have focused on Gary and Dustin. They were the only couple that had anything of interest and value to say.

At the end of the day, why was Slave Play important? I’ve asked many people this, but no one can tell me. Whenever I ask, they just say “It was just so important!” but why. Its message was questionable at best. What was it really trying to say?

This fall semester I didn’t see as much as I would normally, just due to work and school and work and school. The plays that really impacted me this semester were both Heroes of the Fourth Turning and The Thin Place, both at Playwrights Horizons. Sleep No More continues to be the piece of theatre that moves me and haunts me and reminds me why theatre is great. I actually see a lot of Sleep No More in The Thin Place.

The Thin Place has something new and interesting to say, but it doesn’t force it on you either. Hilda offers it to you on a plate, and it’s your choice whether you take it. And you’ll want to take it.

#slave play #the thin place #jeremy o harris #lucas hnath #review

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secretlystephaniebrown · 6 years ago

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Someone’s Playing the Pink Panther Theme, Right?

Summary: Carolina infiltrates Locus’ squad. There are some close calls.

This comes from two places: one, me joking about how Locus is oblivious and failed to notice Carolina infiltrating his squad, and the other, me pointing out that Carolina infiltrating his squad means she potentially witnessed some fucked up shit before revealing herself. I didn't go all the way with the second one, because I wanted to write something on the lighter side. Hope you guys enjoy!

Also on Ao3

Carolina’s method of stealth relies on two things:

One, a standardized system of armor so that her camouflage can do the rest of the job for her.

Two, no one to talk to her directly.

It’s not that Carolina’s bad at espionage. Or stealth. Or…

Look, she’s not bad at it, okay?

She’s not.

Shut up, Epsilon.

So she’s tripped some motion sensors in her day. So what if she can never come up with a good excuse whenever someone asks her why she’s not on patrol?

She can just fight her way out of the situation, okay? She’s fine.

She’s fine.

Really.

Look, at least she’s not Tex, okay? Tex blew up places to make sure no one ever saw her.

She’s fine, Epsilon.

Stop fussing, Epsilon.

The point is, infiltrating Locus’s squad is going to go fine. The helmet she’s wearing is one that belonged to one of the pirates, even if it’s not standard-issue. A voice-coder, one unconscious body hidden behind one of the warthogs, and the pounding sense of too-late later, she’s awkwardly standing in front of Locus for inspection, alongside a dozen other soldiers.

She’s using the old method from Freelancer to avoid attention, one that she’d seen York use a dozen times. She’d never needed it of course, and it had never been possible. The Director’s attention had never been hers to determine if she received or not. She was either hyper-visible, all her flaws exposed under his keen gaze, or completely invisible, no matter how good she was. There was no state of in-between. No amount of hiding or deflection could have concealed her when she was tired, or injured, or late.

York, however, had taught her that the best method to avoid detection was to be after the most likely to be trouble in a squad. Not directly after, he’d explained once, over a bottle of beer after a mission gone sideways in the early days, because then the CO is hyper-on-edge, looking for something to critique in the next person too, but one spot after that, or even two, if it’s been a bad mission.

<Epsilon.>

<Right, sorry, okay, focusing.>

Sometimes, she had to wonder if Alpha had been as anxious as Epsilon.

<Rude.>

The guy she’s chosen to stand two down from is a man who failed to fasten the shoulder plate of his armor correctly. If the data she and Epsilon have gathered on Locus is correct—and Epsilon hums, annoyed in her mind, insistent that it is correct, how dare she assume otherwise, the two of them are the best at gathering intel—he won’t tolerate that. Her own armor is in perfect shape, maintained with the help of the best A.I.—Epsilon glows with pleasure at that thought, adjacent to but not interrupting her internal monologue—so she’ll be fine there.

The one danger is that Locus does know all his people, that he has read every file, or worse, that he’s read the file that Epsilon spoofed up for Carolina’s alias and realizes that something’s wrong.

Anxiety trickles down her throat, choking her for a moment before sinking down, hard and slow, like a rock into her stomach, and she can’t tell if it’s Epsilon’s or her own.

Everything depends on her succeeding here.

Locus goes down the line, efficient and brutal in his pace. He unbraids three soldiers for miniscule problems with their armor or weapons, he dresses down another for having missed a check-in—oh shit he does pay attention to his soldiers, oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

He’s just about to get to her, and Epsilon is frantically buzzing in the back of her mind, planning escape routes, searching for ways out, and she’s barely able to breathe, just trying to stop radiating guilt and fear and anything else that could tip him off.

He’s turned that strange, eyeless helmet towards her, and she feels herself about to fall over the edge, the anxiety turning into adrenaline, flight becoming fight, when the door slams open and a man in orange armor arrives.

“Locus!” He shrieks, and she places the voice. Felix. The traitor within the New Republic.

He’s… shorter than she expected, after Locus. Locus is the largest man she’s seen since Maine, larger than Caboose or any of the other pirates. Locus is broad and wide, built for close combat but a sniper. A contradiction.

But Felix… oh, there’s no mistaking what he’s built for. Skinny but muscled, shorter than Locus but average height overall… bristling with pride and knives alike.

He’s the one to watch for. He fights dirty.

Locus’s attention skitters away from her, refocusing on something far more relevant, and she’s left on the edge, her fingers inches away from fists.

“How far out are they?” Locus demands.

“Not here yet,” Felix says, crossing his arms. “But I saw the battle plan you had drawn up, and I’ve got complaints.”

… a battle plan?

Fuck.

She hadn’t known there was an actual plan yet.

Neither had Epsilon, apparently.

“Dismissed all of you,” Locus snapped, freeing Carolina from discovery. She can’t help but breathe in relief, and smirk to herself, knowing that he’s just doomed his whole operation, letting her go like that. Locus turns his entire focus towards Felix, but doesn’t say anything, while the pirates turn and scatter.

<He doesn’t want anyone to see Mommy and Daddy fight.> Epsilon sniggers in the back of her mind

<Ugh, seriously? The guy’s a dick.>

<Don’t be stupid. Now where can we get those battle plans?>

Epsilon doesn’t know, but he’s got a few suggestions, which Carolina supposes is better than nothing.

The two of them dart through the halls, still careful about the pirates.

<Careful, camera!>

<Can’t you short-circuit it?>

<Well, yeah, it just takes a second, so stand still!>

<Hey, hey, if you were better at watching your corners, I wouldn’t have to!>

They locate a control room, which will hopefully have… something, at least. Data of some kind, if not the actual battle plans.

Battle plans for how Felix and Locus intend to murder all their friends.

The humor, the banter, the comradery within Carolina’s mind evaporates in an instant at that reminder.

Their friends are in danger. The guys are in danger.

The fact that Felix and Locus have been close for so long… Carolina doesn’t know details—communications are hard to listen into on Chorus, even with Epsilon’s wide-sweeping abilities. But Locus has been mirroring Wash’s location for a while, and there are rumors about Felix and the Simulation Troopers.

Close enough to trust, close enough to hurt, close enough to kill.

Carolina’s fingers clench into fists at the thought.

There’s an irony to her position here, an infiltrator amid the infiltrators, the double agent within the double agents, the traitor of traitors.

She finds some satisfaction within that… but not as much satisfaction as she’ll find beating Locus and Felix’s faces in for daring to plan to hurt her friends.

She remembers Wash’s shouts on the radio, his pleas for help, for rescue.

Things went wrong, so quickly, and she hadn’t even realized it at the time, thinking they were safe, or as safe as anyone could be during this civil war. Once she took down the pirates, she’d be able to secure a ship for them and get them all to safety, but she had to make sure that Freelancer’s toxic legacy wasn’t going to claim any more lives, and the pirates were the source of that, and they were keeping the ships down too, so really, she was helping them—

Her excuses putter out in her own mind, hollow.

She should have gone to them earlier, and she knows it.

She’d needed space, needed to try to make things right, to shake off her father’s ghost, she’d seen a chance, and she’d taken it, not saying goodbye and damn the consequences.

And now… here were the consequences.

She has to live with that.

Carolina reaches out to try the door, secure in the knowledge that Epsilon had unlocked it already and grins to herself.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

Fuck.

A pirate turns the corner—the one she’d been planning to use as a human shield earlier, clearly on edge, his armor now in place, bristling from the reprimand.

Oh, of all the—she is so fucked.

“Huh?” She asked, trying to channel Maine’s ability to fake nonchalance. No one ever questioned Maine.

<That’s because he was eight feet tall and literally made of muscle!>

… right.

Carolina wants to take a moment to curse the unfairness of the entire situation, because honestly, she is way scarier than Maine, or at least Maine-before-Meta.

But she’ll have to do that later, because right now she’s being caught red handed.

“Isn’t this, the uh,” she says, trying to think of what Wash would do. “Ladies room?”

Carolina hadn’t known she could literally feel it when an A.I. facepalmed, but she could, apparently.

“What? No!”

“Oh, sorry,” she says, stepping away. “I—I just—”

He’s recovered from his bafflement at her excuse and is about to ask her in more detail, or even worse, ask for help, when Locus comes on the intercom. “Assemble,” he orders. “There’s been a change in plan.”

The pirate groans. “Great. I bet Felix made us scrap the landmines, so he could monologue.”

“He does like to do that,” Carolina says, trying to keep her tone light. She… she can use that. Monologuing. That gives her time. That means he has to keep them alive.

Thank God for mercenaries who like to hear himself speak and can annoy their professional partners into letting him have his way.

“You’re telling me,” the pirate mutters, stomping his feet heavily as they head back into the main room.

Carolina swallows, then follows him.

They get their orders and Carolina tastes bile.

She kills her partner, the man who’s supposed to help her murder the Federal Soldiers, and she sets off the fire alarm in the barrack she’s supposed to execute, so they run.

(She’ll learn later the second wave of pirates caught them in a crossfire before they could make it out, and she throws up until there’s nothing left.)

She’s getting mixed reports, she doesn’t know where the Reds and Blues or Wash are, and so she runs into the infirmary, because she’s heard a rumor that Wash was injured.

She doesn’t find Wash, but she does find a very angry doctor.

“Stay down!” Carolina pushes her down, her heart racing, because another squad was assigned the infirmary. “I can get you out of here, just—”

A scalpel presses against her neck. “And why should I trust you, sweetie?”

“Because otherwise, you’re dead.” She swallows. “Get out of here and find the Reds and Blues, okay?” She shows the doctor a way out through the vents, and then tries to see if she can get any other survivors out.

She doesn’t find any other survivors.

She does find a group of pirates.

Fuck.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She’s looking down the barrel of a gun, and man, she really doesn’t like that. “You’re the new girl, aren’t you?” There’s just enough of a sneer, enough of a leer, there, that Carolina doesn’t even have to hesitate before channeling South. She should draw from Connie, or York, or Florida, or really anyone else, really, but Carolina wants to knock this guy down a peg, and she’s itching for a fight, itching to put this fucker in her place.

There are dead bodies in the room behind him, because Carolina couldn’t protect them, and she can’t avenge them yet, not if she wants to save her friends, but she wants to… something. She needs to make amends, somehow.

“I saw someone run out of here,” she says, lifting her chin in the air, like she’s not scared, like she thinks they’re being stupid, like they’re beneath her. “I killed her and came in to see if you guys needed help blowing your noses or wiping your asses too.”

The gun lowers. “Bitch,” the pirate mumbles.

“Hey, do your job, so I don’t have to,” she says flippantly, even though Epsilon is screaming at her not to make fun of the murderers, they have guns, Carolina, they could kill you, Carolina.

“We just got the word from Locus,” another one says. “Get ready for the box.”

“Alright then,” Carolina says. “Let’s get this over with.”

She carefully gets herself placed right next to Locus, who looks her over one last time.

“You, soldier,” he says. “What’s your name?”

Fuck.

“Carol—Carol. Carol—” Shit fuck. “Church.” Fuck.

Epsilon is dead quiet in her brain with disbelief at how bad she fucked that up.

Locus, however, simply nods and turns his attention. “Remember to use your camouflage,” he orders them, and Carolina can’t believe she’s getting away with this.

The two of them activate the active camouflage in sync with everyone else and walk forward towards her friends.

<Be careful you don’t trip,> Epsilon says, sulky.

<I’m just saying, this is why we don’t do stealth missions!>

He has no response for a moment.

Then, as they decloak, aiming a gun at their friends, he finally speaks up again.

Carolina grins and allows herself to stop being scared that things are going to go wrong.

She’s made it this far. Locus and Felix are going to pay.

#Agent Carolina #Epsilon #Leonard Church #Locus #Red vs Blue #Steph Writes

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rwbyconversations · 6 years ago

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RWBY Sacanime and Fanexpo 2018 Panel Summaries

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Panel was hosted by Michael Jones (Sun), Shannon McCormack (Ozpin), Jen Brown (Pyrrha) and Jason Douglas (Jacques). Barbara was also part of the Rooster Teeth Fanexpo panel, and the relevant RWBY Questions are at the end of this summary. Parts of this come from JayTriqz’s summary on Reddit.

Jen, do you think there are areas of Remnant that are Greek-Roman inspired? Jen hopes so. She’s still disappointed that Pyrrha's parents have not been mentioned at all and there wasn't a funeral for Pyrrha. She does say it would be cool if there were, but she thinks the reason Pyrrha was so Greek-Roman inspired is because MMK narrowed down on wanting an "Achilles" character.

Do you think RWBY will eventually have a 2D reboot? Michael, Shannon and Jen pitch an absurd idea involving Sun as the lead following a train accident that kills all of RWBY, then stress that they’re actors, not writers.

What was it like to record the Food Fight? Jen loved it, she was so glad she got to be a part of it. Michael: “At least you got to be in that fight.” Jen: “At least you’re still on the show!” Shannon: “I love that I’m in between these two because I’m both dead and still on the show!”

Shannon and Jen, what was your reaction to a scene from RVB 16? Shannon felt Wash’s anger in that scene came naturally to him- his direction was “imagine every moment someone lied to you.” He lives for moments where characters make what they think are good decisions that have dire consequences. Jen sympathizes with Carolina’s mindset in that moment, she finds it hard sometimes while record to separate herself from the character. She’s so used to Carolina that it can be hard to remember some specific moments of how she felt.

Michael, do you think it was weird that Sun basically followed Blake to the ends of Remnant? Micheal said no, and that Sun was just looking out for her. He also said he thinks Sun was always kinda an idiot, but he said that in V6 he takes his head out of his ass and kinda comes into his own and Blake is much more open with him. (Michael seemingly confirming that Sun will have focus in Volume 6. RIP the “Why Sun shouldn’t go to Atlas” crowd)

If your characters could be in any musical, what would it be? Sun would be in the Always Sunny in Philadelphia musical bit. Ozpin would be the shopkeeper in West Side Story. Pyrrha and Jaune would be in "The Last Five Years." Jen dovetails into talking about her love for horror here and mentions she’d love to see Grimm Pyrrha return. Jacques would be a darker Daddy Warbucks from Annie.

Do you get surprised when you read the scripts? Jen knew since she got the role that Pyrrha would die. Pyrrha was supposed to die in V2, but they wanted to give her a bit more time to be around (additionally, production issues led to the Fall of Beacon being pushed back). Jen was surprised by Yang losing her arm though- you can hear her live reaction in the V3 Actor Commentary. Micheal only knows the basis of where RWBY is going, but not much. Camp Camp surprises him more than RWBY with some of the stuff he gets to say.

Whats your favorite line from any show you've done that’s stuck with you? Jen- "Sorry" (but her serious answer is Erid in Camp Camp saying "Pussies for Life" because she’s still amazed that that was something she got paid to say). Micheal- "Fuck you David" Shannon- "That was the worst throw ever. Of all time" Jason has fond memories of an anime he did called Wandaba Style.

If Micheal had to make a RWBY team with the people in AH, who’d he choose? Jack (who would cast buffs), Ryan (he thinks if he didn't take him he'd probably become a agent of death working for Humans, Faunus and the Grimm) and Gavin so he can slap him around.

Are you an indoors or outdoors person? Shannon is very indoorsy, Michael was but likes going out more since he moved to Austin and had Iris, Jen grew up outdoors then became introverted as she grew up and is now raring to get out more, Jason loves getting out for a while.

If you could make a RWBY character that was like yourself, how would they turn out? Micheal- It would just be Max from Camp Camp. Jason- An old and weary soldier with a dark past. Jen- Would like to be a dragon faunus because it sounds cool and would seem standoffish, but is actually super nice. Shannon- was very indecisive. He settles on someone who drive a wagon, be some kind of travelling carnival guy and be an irrelevant character whose stuff would get smashed whenever he wandered into a fight scene.

What would your characters theme song be (not from RWBY)? Sun- “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. Pyrrha- Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name” (because of "shot through the heart"). Ozpin- Heroes by David Bowie. Jacques- Cold as Ice by Foreigner.

Whats more fun to record, RWBY or Chibi? Jen picks Chibi. She did also say that while she makes jokes about Pyrrha dying, she thinks its a huge honor that she played a character whose death is viewed as a massive impact to the show. Micheal also picks Chibi.

Favorite character that is not your own? Shannon, Jen and Micheal all pick Nora.

Michael, how’d you get from Youtube to voice acting? “Start yelling in your room while you live with your parents.” Michael can’t really answer, he just accepts anything that happens. He had no real plans and just was very lucky that the right people saw his videos and got him in with Rooster Teeth.

What is your favorite thing about your RWBY characters? Micheal picks Sun’s abs and his sunny nature. Shannon likes that Oz is basically him continually being typecast by Roosterteeth as this "immortal, unkillable being.” Jen picks Pyrrha's humility. That she was sweet and princessy, but not in a standoffish or obnoxious way. Jason admires Jacques for his opportunism and intellect, but he is very amoral. He likes those qualities, but would use them differently if he possessed them.

Most difficult line you’ve ever had to voice? Micheal- Nothing too crazy. He thinks that Max in the recent season of Camp Camp not being a piece of shit for one moment was difficult. Jen picked when someone asked her to be Pyrrha but doing the final monologue from Running Man from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because Pyrrha doesn't get that angry. This was considered a "specific fetish."

Favorite character they've done? Jen- Harley Quinn in DCU Online (her literal dream role). Micheal likes them all. He likes Mogar because he was a character he created, and slowly developed him into this dumber character. He got into arguments with Lindsay about his character. Shannon likes them all for different reasons, but at that moment it is Quartermaster from Camp Camp. Jason goes for Beerus from Dragon Ball Super but mentions Wandaba Style as an honorable mention.

Fanexpo Questions

Will we see Nora before she met Ren? No, Barbara’s not a writer.

Will Yang make any puns in Volume 6? No.

What’s your favorite crackship? (DAMNIT BARBARA ARE YOU JUST A BAD LUCK CHARM FOR THIS FUCKING QUESTION) Yang/Yang, AKA Yangbang. I wish I could say I’m surprised at a selfcest joke but whatever.

#rwby #rwby panels #jen brown #michael jones #shannon mccormack #jason douglas #barbara dunkelman #pyrrha nikos #sun wukong #ozpin #jacques schnee #yang xiao long #voice acting #youtube #camp camp #max camp camp #rwby volume 6

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iheardarumorxxx · 4 years ago

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Midnight Sun, Chapter 6 - Blood Type

Did you guess that this chapter opened up with Weirdo stalking Bella? Because you guessed totally right.

Our ‘hero’ is going on about how he spends the entire day of school watching Bella through the surface thoughts of other people. See, it’s totally okay for Eddie to use people as his own personal Bella CCTV, because they are paltry and insiginificant hoomans. Who cares that it’s extremely creepy and invasive not just to Bella, but to the people who’s heads Eddie has decided to hijack. It’s not as if they matter anyway, right?

He shits on both Mike and Jessica again and I’ve already ranted at length about why neither of them deserve it, so I’m not gonna do it again. But I am gonna talk about Angela. I don’t like Angela. It’s not really her fault that I don’t like her. She’s soft spoken and sweet and kind, but the problem that I have with Angela is the same problem that I have with Esme. She exists to be a soft, fragile woman, hand-wringing and the only ‘good’ friend that Bella has. She doesn’t actually have a personality to speak of.

And now at lunch, Eddie is TRYING SO HARD to set up a red herring about why Bella is Looking Sad after glancing at the table he’s usually sat at. He goes on for like a whole ass paragraph wondering if she’s sad because she’s gonna miss the stupid dance that she’s made perfectly clear she doesn’t want to go to. He’s supposed to be an uber smart Pire with a brain so much bigger than mine, but the thing is? I can use fucking context clues to understand that Bella looked at the Cullen table, noticed that Eddie wasn’t there, and then looked sad because he wasn’t there.

See, Eddie. I don’t need your stupid mind-reading powers to figure shit out.

I'd never paid much attention to a human's diet before.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. YOU WERE A FUCKING HUMAN BEING LIKE A CENTURY AGO. Yes, I give you that diets and shit have changed since you needed to eat food, but the fact still stands that you absolutely had to eat food yourself at one time. AND YOU HAVE TWO MEDICAL DEGREES ON TOP OF THAT. If you were, like, in your fucking 500s or something, I might buy this bullshit (excluding the fact that you have two medical degrees). But you aren’t. You died in, like, 1901.

I motioned with my finger for her to join me.

Small point for SM and Midnight Sun here. In Twilight, when this scene happened, Bella said that he lifted his hand and twisted his wrist and like, crooked his finger in a gesturing motion and it was way too many words just to say ‘he motioned me over with his finger’ or ‘he beckoned me over’. At least this book didn’t pull that shit just to pad out the word count. This time.

"Why don't you sit with me today?"

A nitpick, if you will. The way that Eddie boy phrases this question makes it feel a lot more like a command. He isn’t asking if Bella wants to sit with him. He’s not really leaving that clear No option open for her with this phrasing. It feels extremely controlling and based on what we know about Eddie and his controlling tendencies as a boyfriend, I don’t like it.

Eddie and Bella are talking, all the while Eddie is going on about how he’s SO DANGEROUS and shouldn’t be friends with Bella and how part of him wishes she would just get up and leave because that would be safer for her.

Hey, Eddie. Why don’t you get up and leave, you pissant? Sure, he’s going on and on about how it’s hard to stay away from her and how he’s so IN LUV with her, but dude? If you genuinely think you’re dangerous and shouldn’t be around her DON’T BE AROUND HER. You can’t pull this stupid shit where you go on and on about how she shouldn’t wanna be your friend or be around you while also asking her to eat lunch with you and hanging around her and STALKING HER AND SNEAKING INTO HER BEDROOM AT NIGHT. You don’t get to have it both ways.

"What are you thinking?"

NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS DUDE! IF SHE WANTED TO FUCKING TELL YOU WHATS ON HER MIND, SHE WOULD! GOD FUCK OFF.

Right. Okay. I’m good. Caplocks off.

Ugh.

^^^ That is actually written in the book. And not as dialogue, either. It’s thought. It’s Edward’s thought and inner monologue. Wanna know why that sucks? There are a lot of reasons but the biggest one is this: SM goes out of her way to make it seem like Eddie is so old-fashioned and fancy. She makes him say some of the most ridiculous things in the interest of making it clear to us, the readers, that he is sophisticated. The Pire that is 109 and talks like a Walmart Brand Mr. Darcy just thought ‘ugh’.

I chided her

STOP with the creepy fucking paternal imagry. God, I am not a psychologist, and I would never presume to assume anything about anyone, but the way SM writes Edward and Bella’s relationship (and really all of the relationships in this series) reeks of Daddy Issues.

Mr. Banner was blood typing today.

This is absolutely fucking bonkers to me, and in the original Twilight, it was only an excuse for Bella to show of her FEAR of blood. Her ridiculous fear that was off the charts and over the top. They were just doing cell division, like, two days ago? And now they’re blood typing. And instead of theoritically doing so, they’re blood typing the actual students. Without written permission slips or warning anyone who might actually have issues with blood or needles in order to let them opt out. This isn’t how high school curriculam works, and it is absolutely not realistic. Even if it’s just a special one off thing, you can’t just stab kids with needles without parental consent.

but I wasn't hearing Debussy's notes for long

Bitch I fucking CALLED IT that he was listening to that Debussy song that first time he mentioned his favorite CD. Brownie points to me.

I wasn't going to stand around arguing with the wretch.

Leave Mike Newton ALONE, dude. And ‘the wretch’ is real rich coming from the guy who thought ‘Ugh’ a few paragraphs back.

Anyway, Bella got so sick and dizzy from one little drop of blood that she’s about to pass out on the sidewalk. It was stupid in Twilight and it’s stupid here. If Mike had lost an arm and was just pulsating blood? Sure, I’d buy the reaction, but a little tiny prick on the finger? And he sits like a couple of tables away from her? It’s an over the top reaction and if I was anyone in that class, I would think she’s doing it for attention.

Eddie just eats this shit up, though. Because its an excuse to fawn all over Bella and be a big strong man to rescue her.

The ‘I usually am’ in response to Bella saying Eddie was right about something made me see red for a minute. I fucking HATE this pompous, stuck up, douche canoe.

"People can't smell blood."

Good news, guys. I’m a vampire. I know this because I, too, can smell blood. I am now sparkley and Better Than You. So it is written.

But in all seriousness? Ed? You’re a fucking moron.

Anyway, Bella gets out of going to gym by ‘looking pale’ and Eddie comes to the conclusion that we have all figured out long before this that Bella thinks Eddie is attractive. Bella goes against Mike’s clear wishes not to invite Eddie to the beach with them, and invites him anyway, but because it’s La Push and, ya know, Werewoofs, Eddie can’t go to there. But instead of just saying he has plans or doesn’t like the beach or something, he just shits all over Mike some more and it makes me angry.

I was almost angry that she was leaving me.

Okay, I’m gonna level with you guys and share something personal. I had a really possessive boyfriend in college. Like, had to check in, let him know where I was and who I was with and all of that shit. He got mad at me if he didn’t hear from me for a while and was constantly accusing me of cheating on him and shit. That line right there? That like really freaks me out and gives me flashbacks to that terrible relationship. This is a red flag if I’ve ever seen one. Things like this are why people say that Edward Cullen is an abusive boyfriend.

And right after this line, he’s fucking dragging her to his car and insisting that he drive her home. It’s just creepy, guys. It’s all the warning signs that someone could ever need about someone, but it’s being treated as this loving relationship and it just makes me so uncomfortable.

There is something I wanna say in regards to Eddie. As a character, it’s okay for him to be kind of an asshole. There’s room for growth in that, there’s something for the character to strive to change. But his behavior is painted in this light that makes it seem like he’s wonderful and amazing, all rose colored love fantasy, and so he never changes and never learned to be a better person. And the shades of abuse are there, not even hidden in subtext but overt, and that is why I hate Edward so much. Not because he’s an asshole, but because I’m supposed to like him just the way he is, and not hope that he changes for the better.

The way that Bella talks about her mom makes me mad. That’s more of a rant for Twilight, but even just the things she says out loud are annoying. She talks about the woman like she’s incapable of taking care of herself, despite the fact that the woman raised her for 16 years. In Twilight it’s worse, because when she even bothers to think about Renee at all, she’s talking down about her.

They’re in front of Bella’s house having a dumb conversation about Eddie being DaNgErOuS again, and I want to puke with how heavy handed the ‘romance’ is supposed to be. Bella is like ‘i don’t care if you want to murder me and leave my corpse out in the woods’ and Ed is like ‘well... actually...’ and I hate that I’m supposed to think that they’re in love.

They’re having some more inane small talk. Literally this entire relationship is just small talk until they get to the sparkley meadow and make out a little, and then it’s ‘i would die for you and love you so much and you’re my everything’ like zero to sixty. I will admit that I fell for my partner really quickly, but we also talked about more than the fucking weather and our families. We had actual meaningful conversations and got to know one another.

This chapter ends with Eddie telling Bella to be careful at the beach (like any good father would) and laughing at her when she gets annoyed about it. The fact that he laughs at her expressing annoyance pisses me off. And he calls her an angry kitten again.

God, but I hate this asshole.

That’s chapter six, guys. Feel free to reach out in messages and DMs if you wanna chat, or if you have any recommendations for what my next book recap should be. Feel free to buy me a snack, my CashApp cash tag is in my bio. Until next time!

#sierra recaps stuff #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #ms chapter 6 #abuse tw

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truemedian · 5 years ago

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Even a lesser John Mulaney-hosted Saturday Night Live is pretty funny

John MulaneyScreenshot: Saturday Night Live TV ReviewsAll of our TV reviews in one convenient place. “I mean a lot to a small group of people.” If your third SNL hosting gig is your weakest yet and is still consistently funny, well, you’re probably John Mulaney. The former SNL writer turned award-winning stand-up and almost apologetic actor is just funny. That’s perhaps not an enlightening way to describe the guy, but there’s a certain kind of comedian who just is. That’s Mulaney, taking the mic for his third opening monologue since he left the writers room and slaying with habitual, deceptively effortless ease. Joking about his eccentric career path to date, Mulaney explained that he is the host who’d done the least between his second and third hosting stints, his self-effacing shtick both cheeky and spot-on. (A set-ender about a Make-A-Wish girl confessing that her second choice Mulaney introducing her to that week’s guest Lin Manuel Miranda actually made her wish come true struck exactly the Mulaney sweet spot of potentially edgy and hilariously apt.) Mulaney’s always going to be Mulaney (even as a cartoon pig) his specific, knowingly oversized delivery marking him out as the funniest voice in any room. That doesn’t necessarily make for the most versatile Saturday Night Live host, but, with Mulaney’s intimacy with the show to guide things, tonight’s episode made typically fine use of one of its funniest, if most unlikely, superstar alums. But back to funny. With a sketch veteran like Mulaney in house, jokes just work better. He knows the rhythm of a sketch inside out, and slots himself into a role with the confidence of a guy who simply knows how the machine operates. (A little cue card hesitancy notwithstanding.) Which is a good thing, as the sketches tonight weren’t themselves stellar. The big news any time John Mulaney hosts these days is just whichever aspect of New York culinary-mercantile sketchiness will be the subject of a lavishly produced musical number, and, while tonight’s Broadway ode to LaGuardia Airport sushi is third in line behind (in order of undeniable delightfulness) “Diner Lobster” and “Bodega Bathroom,” it follows the overall theme of the night that third-best Mulaney on SNL is still thoroughly enjoyable SNL. Look, nothing’s ever going to capture the surprise victory of that first sketch—just like any recurring bit, there’s an element of giving the audience what they’re there to expect that saps some of the initial live-wire weirdness from the enterprise. But, apart from the central players in the set-up (Chris Redd and Mulaney as the New Yorkers horrified at Pete Davidson’s unwise choice of NYC convenience amenity), there’s a no-doubt inexhaustible well of petty New York gripes and vomit-worthy eccentricities for Mulaney and his fellow Big Apple veterans to plumb for extravagantly silly numbers whose disproportionate response is part of the gag. Here, we get Kenan as a plane-downing goose Phantom, Cecily Strong as an operatically remorseful, long-ago sushi chef (that spicy tuna is from 2018), Kate McKinnon as pretzel-hawking Auntie Orphan Annie blaming everything on de Blasio, Beck Bennett as the somehow unaccompanied baby on your flight, and—capping things off with a double dose of Mulaney’s Sack Lunch Bunch shenanigans—musical guest David Byrne as a “Road To Nowhere”-singing “baggage handler who throws your luggage into Long Island Sound,” and Jake Gyllenhaal, rigged up to fly as the traveler in pajamas who’s creepily enthusiastic about the TSA pat-down. (“You don’t have to use the backs of your hands!”) Taking the whole show into the audience to end the sketch amidst a shower of loose-wire sparks with Byrne singing the way, the whole thing was delightfully, goofily unnecessary.

Best/Worst Sketch Of The Night

So, apart from that one, I thought Mulaney’s stand-up persona found its truest home in the Sound Of Music sketch, a musical dissection of just how creepy that whole “I am 16, going on 17" romance subplot is. With Cecily’s Liesl (in ridiculously fine voice as ever) beginning to question her beloved sort-of Nazi suitor Kurt’s blond, Aryan suitability, Mulaney keeps slipping in the sort of wise-ass asides his comedy is built around, as Kurt keeps confessing to being more like “17, going on 47" as the song goes on. (Oh, and he’s planning to move them into an apartment with a lot of suspiciously Aryan roommates, including one named Goebbels.) With Mulaney’s Kurt alternating between snarking about his beloved’s growing number of reservations (“Wow, she’s got a list.”), and smoothly crooning away her reservations about the whole Nazi thing (“Focus on the age stuff.”), the piece was a perfect use of Mulaney. Him assuring Liesl, “This is Austria, nineteen-thirty-bad: In a few weeks this will be the least of your worries,” was the ideal synthesis of host, delivery, and premise. Any sketch matching Kate and Aidy at its center is an automatic contender, and the return of their melodramatically feuding 1950s sisters in the classic Say, These Two Don’t Seem To Like Each Other gave the ever-delightful duo a chance to outdo each other with bitchy period skullduggery in advance of their shared suitor’s arrival. The joke is, once again, that their Davis-Crawford (pretty much literal) back-stabbing proves helpless against the unwitting charms of a much more conventionally attractive family member (here, Mulaney’s returning sailor and “pass-around party bottom”). Having the joke that Beck Bennett’s Admiral (somehow being promoted from Corporal last time) is in a closeted frenzy at Mulaney’s oblivious nautical sexiness (shades of Kimmy Schmidt’s “Daddy’s Boy” and Hail, Caesar!’s “No Dames”) is hacky but funny, with Beck, Kate, and Aidy all doing absurdly over-the-top mugging (including a straight-up “Ha-ga-goo-ga-goo-ga-gaaa!”) while maintaining their 1950s film noir demeanor, and I laughed at pretty much all of it. Mulaney’s gift for straight-manning (as opposed to party-bottoming) was used to fine effect again in the meme sketch, where his suburban uncle angrily whips up a slide show of college-age nephew Pete Davidson’s reddit jokes at his expense. Mulaney makes the uncle’s outrage at being the internet’s #whitecollarvirgin simultaneously righteous and comically out-of-touch, as the memes keep coming. (His awkwardly grinning Facebook profile picture overlaid with “When ya’ll kissing and she say, ‘That’ll be $200'” is introduced with Mulaney’s hilariously perplexed, “This next one was tweeted by rapper Ice-T!”) There’s not much more to the sketch but watching Mulaney flesh out a portrait of out-of-touch suburban dudgeon, but’s just so great at it. Like more than a few sketches tonight, there were some pacing/timing issues, here mainly at the expense of an ending. Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney got to do their behind-the-scenes thing with a filmed sketch about Mooney—tired of all the “geek” roles coming his way—deciding to turn their shared office into a gym in order to get cast in Mulaney’s proposed male stripper sketch. The pair’s signature self-parody here clanks alongside the admirable monstrousness of Mooney’s post-transformation prosthetics, as he immediately becomes a smugly buff, absurdly pumped-up dudebro (thanks to, among other things, the absurdist delight that is guest trainer Justin Theroux as himself), scooping a muscles-smitten Chloe Fineman into an offhand sex-date and allowing a bashful Lorne Michaels to pet his newfound bulges. Good Neighbor pals Mooney and Bennett’s humor traffics in such light cringe comedy, as clueless strivers inevitably find their lowest level, as, here, the horrifying, gravel-voiced, ’roid-gremlin version of Kyle, having made himself “less interesting” for glory, is summarily fired from the show by an unimpressed Mulaney. Lurking at the heart of most of these sketches is a mingled affection/contempt for the bottom-dwellers of the entertainment industry, pitiable losers whose lifelong consumption of TV and movies has left them convinced that they are just one big break (or Tupperware full of lean, broiled chicken breasts and a 5 p.m. bedtime) away from the stardom they just know is their birthright, and Mooney, especially, is most comfortable playing around there. (Also, filming schedules being what they are, it’s unlikely this sketch is in response to Pete Davidson’s off-weeks’ interview about being typecast on the show, but there’s a harsh but essential truth about living or dying on SNL that’s resonant throughout the bit.)

Weekend Update update

Che continues to successfully play around with his role on Update, here breaking from a joke about the growing coronavirus threat to muse about his fears that they’ll play an Update clip of him mocking the typically lame and self-serving Trump administration response to the crisis at his funeral. In what former SNL-er Al Franken would call “kidding on the square,” Che confessed to “sitting here pretending to care about politics,” before whipping off his clip-on tie, whipping out a tumbler of something brown (“Why am I hiding my drinking problem?”), and, finally, donning a crooked baseball cap as he essayed the role of a Michael Che who’s finally been broken by all the world’s unrelenting horseshit. It’s a blessedly funny move, carried out through the rest of Update (“You know, I just found out I might have a kid?,” he’s heard mumbling after the camera cuts back to the straight-faced Colin Jost), and it adds a frisson of reckless abandon to his side of the proceedings that’s sloppily energizing. “I feel free,” he exclaims at one point, and his story about his beloved grandma telling him, “We are living in our last days,” lands satisfyingly, before Che rambles on to rebut granny’s “no white girls” rule. (“I work in show business, that’s unrealistic.”) Joining in on the cold open’s queasy mockery of the prospect of noted fundamentalist and science skeptic Mike Pence leading the uninspiring cadre of sycophants, yes-men, and non-doctors Trump put in charge of fighting a potentially deadly outbreak of disease, Che did resort to yet another SNL “Mike Pence is secretly gay” joke. And I could have done without the “Chinese people eating dogs” joke when supposedly defending the virus hotspot, too, although, for Che, loosening up seems to come yoked to being sort of an asshole. Otherwise, Update’s cracks at the news of the day went as usual. Jost let Trump hang himself with his own slurred nonsense (Thank god we have “different elements of medical” on the coronavirus front), and—echoing Trump’s rhetorical gambit of using supposedly overheard chatter to disseminate patently absurd nonsense to the world—deftly managed to get the hashtag #TrumpSlump trending during the show when talking about what he’s definitely heard people calling the precipitous stock market losses since Trump started babbling incoherently about the “hoax” outbreak of a rapidly accelerating infectious disease outbreak. Hey, if that’s the world of public discourse we live in at this point, then fighting hashtag with hashtag is fair game, so good on you, Jost. Chris Redd, taking the well-known SNL path of making yourself a showcase on Update when you’re being underused elsewhere, put together a solid few minutes as himself, commenting on the just-concluding Black History Month. As with most such pieces, the jokes sprayed all over the place, although nominally anchored to the central premise that, as Redd put it, black people “took too many Ls” for Black History Month this year. Straying into politics while keeping his eyes on the joke, he ably described SC primary winner Joe Biden as Joe “I have a black friend” Biden, and noted how watching the garrulously long-winded Biden give a speech is like “watching an old man parallel park his thoughts for 20 minutes.” On Trump’s hastily disseminated photo of himself surrounded by the handful of black Trump supporters he could get to pray over him, Redd, in his best turn of phrase, described the gathered worshipful as “White House negroes,” and ran down some of the more egregiously misguided corporate appropriations of Black History Month, including that credit card that makes it look like Harriet Tubman is either saluting Wakanda or “she got recaptured.” Weekend Update has long been a place for cast members to present their own, individualized versions of the newsreader gig, and, should Jost follow through on his suggested post-election departure, this is about as good a tryout as Redd could give.

“What do you call that act?” “The Californians!”—Recurring sketch report

The John Mulaney “I hate New York” Musical Showcase; the Kate-and-Aidy 1940s Femmes Fatale Extravaganza.

“It was my understanding there would be no math”—Political comedy report

Hey, everyone’s going to get super-sick! So that’s funny. Or it could be, I suppose, if the cold open didn’t shy away from the aforementioned flop-sweat generator that is Mike (“condoms don’t work, pray away AIDS, smoking doesn’t kill, climate change is a myth, intelligent design”) Pence is in charge of mustering the nation’s medical defenses to wheeze into another underwhelming Democratic slate sketch. Again, the joke that noted frothing gay-basher Pence is in the closet is (whatever the truth may be) beyond played out at this point, although at least Beck Bennett’s strident Pence nodding toward his willful disregard of scientific truth by calling the coronavirus a test of his faith “like dinosaur bones, or Timothée Chalamet” was half-smart. And Kenan Thompson coming out as Ben Carson (“the brain surgeon that they put in charge of house development”) was the usual hoot, with Kenan’s approximation of Carson’s singsong cadence making his dire predictions about the toll of the virus extra alarming, especially to Pence, who hurriedly shoves Carson aside for straying from the administration’s sweaty “All is well!” public stance on the topic. That things veered suddenly into a another stealth Dem candidate sketch could have served to hammer on the theme, I suppose (although simply following through on the premise might have been an idea, too.) But things quickly turned into the same unsatisfying quick-hit impressions and internecine sniping among the candidates, an exercise that’s seeming more and more like a slightly unimpressive audition process for who’s going to be the eventual nominee. (Sort of like the much of the actual remaining Democratic field, but I digress.) Honestly, only the (increasingly unlikely looking) prospect of a four-year Elizabeth Warren-Kate McKinnon reign holds any interest for me at this point, McKinnon’s spot-on impression the only one to go much beyond the surface into something more substantive. (You know, like the actual Warren, but I digress.) As for the rest, we have ringers like Larry David’s Bernie Sanders and Fred Armisen’s Mike Bloomberg. And while who doesn’t like David’s gabbling, kvetchy Sanders, there are some issues. Namely that SNL can’t think of much to do besides grumpy old candidate jokes with the surging potential nominee (although a passing reference to Bernie’s “Castro wasn’t all bad” remarks this week at least nodded toward actual engagement). Also, as much fun as Larry seems to be having coming back to 30 Rock every other week, it’s unclear if he’s on board for a theoretical Alec Baldwin-style regular gig should Sanders win. As for Bloomberg—meh. He’s not going anywhere politically, and, as primly humorous as is Armisen’s shrugging rich guy approach to this whole “let the poor people decide” thing is, it’s yet another role whose farming out to a higher profile outsider continues to signal the show’s lack of confidence in its in-house talent. Same goes for Rachel Dratch’s Amy Klobuchar, whose best hope at this point is a Vice Presidential gig (on both fronts). There’s nothing wrong with any of these funny people or what they’re doing per se. It’s more that there’s no reason for them to be there, and that these sketches remain irritatingly shallow. On the in-house side, that seeming lack of confidence appears not so much borne out in these openers as untested. Sure, Colin Jost barely tries to conceal how unsuited he is to play college chum Pete Buttigieg, and the absence of other ringer (and other Dem impersonation I could stand to see more of) Jason Sudeikis saw the Joe Biden spot going to Mulaney (who would likely be the first to admit that celebrity impressions aren’t in his wheelhouse). But, what with SNL’s proven disregard for gender-appropriate political casting of late, the fact that able mimics Melissa Villaseñor and Chloe Fineman and nimble actresses Heidi Gardner and Ego Nwodim remain on the bench is increasingly vexing. As for the actual sketch, it was the same too-glib drive-by, with only Warren’s gloating over her debate trouncing of Bloomberg registering, in McKinnon’s lived-in performance, with any juice. Meh.

I am hip to the musics of today

Goddamn, that was great, as David Byrne (late of the aforementioned Sack Lunch Bunch), joined Mulaney and delivered a pair of electric live performances. He did “One In A Lifetime” first, and it’s striking just how Byrne keeps that well-trod Talking Heads song from receding into classic hits predictability in performance. That song is as weird and satirically biting as ever, as much as its ubiquity threatens to turn it into just another toothless oldie, and, with his identically grey-suited backup musicians all channeling that old Stop Making Sense spirit with their non-stop individualized choreography and musicianship, the song—with the 67-year-old Byrne holding center stage, as deceptively limber as ever—was a showstopper. So, too, the rousing second number, the Byrne-penned “Toe Jam,” where Byrne ceded even more time for each member of his expansive musical team to shake their stuff in the individual spotlight. Easily one of the most enjoyable musical guests in years, Byrne remains a one-man show unafraid to let others steal the show. Just bottomless fun.

Most/Least Valuable Not Ready For Prime Time Player

Not building sketches around the proven talents of performers like Nwodim, Fineman, Villaseñor, and Gardner just seems perverse at this point. SNL’s second line looks thin in the talent department because nobody’s making use of them. The LaGuardia extravaganza gave Cecily, Kenan, Kate, and Beck plenty to sink their teeth into, but Cecily’s second singing showcase of the night puts her on top.

“What the hell is that thing?”—The Ten-To-Oneland Report

Well, at least we got Chris Redd’s welcome and funny comic tribute to Black History Month on Update, so the muddled mush of the Jackie Robinson sketch can stay the ten-to-one oddity it is. Kenan is delightful, don’t get me wrong. As the lone black man to boo color-line-busting legend Robinson, his Dodgers fan Terrence “The Enlarged Heart” Washington was a funny construction, his petty jealousies trumping any sense of racial pride or loyalty. As the 1940s white fans around him look on puzzled at Washington’s animosity toward the first black MLB player, Kenan makes his frustrated non-ballplayer’s grudge almost but never quite hilarious, although the way his bewildering heckling keeps igniting pockets of revealing racism beneath the white fans’ sporting loyalties is fairly pointed. Beck Bennett’s loudmouth fan immediately starts an “Oh, so it’s all right to boo white guys?!” side-argument that ultimately and inevitably sees him getting carried away by telling Robinson to go back to the Negro Leagues where he belongs. Still, the funniest joke is when Kenan, berated by bleacher-mate Mulaney for talking that way in front of his kid, notices the young black child sitting next to him and exclaims, “I don’t know this kid!” Stray observations Kate, as The Sound Of Music’s Maria, sings her own reassurance concerning her relationship with the Captain, “I’m old enough, but it’s still kind of dicey.” Jost, on Joe Biden’s resurgent Democratic primary win in South Carolina: “But, in keeping with South Carolina tradition, the losers will get the statues.” (In front of photo of a Confederate monument.) Mulaney’s monologue has me scanning the internet to see if he’s scored another Netflix special yet. (Not yet, apparently.) From going as close to the edge as he gets with jokes about Jesus forgetting to do magic on the one occasion he could really have used it, to that Make-A-Wish anecdote, to a great run about how crappy the Founding Fathers really were, to a straight-up joke about Trump being stabbed to death Caesar-style by some senators, it was tight and focused and very, very funny. On that assassination joke, Mulaney reassured everyone, “I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke, and he said, ‘Let me call another lawyer,’ and that lawyer said yes.” Mulaney’s Kurt, to Liesl: “Oh, age is just a number that the government keeps track of.” Redd kids on the square that the withdrawal of all black candidates for president has meant less airtime for him. After Che—still in booze-swilling carefree mode—jokes that Ash Wednesday is the one day a year when Catholics can indulge in “a little bit of blackface,” Jost signs off, laughing, “For Weekend Update, I’m Catholic . . .” All welcome Che’s proposed new Houston Astros mascot, Cheatie the Camera. Before Davidson’s customer makes his ill-gated sushi purchase, he and Redd buy “a Chobani yogurt with no spoon to eat it with” and “a $15 dollar Dasani, extra plastic.” Once more the show ended awfully abruptly, so here are the full goodnights again. Good night! Daniel Craig and The Weeknd next week! Read More Read the full article

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