#And all the team that made The Murder Of Sonic The Hedgehog possible.

[890prodoctions]

Took me two hours but I beat the game 8 minutes before midnight lol!

Happy birthday Barry! :)

[major-wren]

If Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog was cancelled by issue fifty in 1997 and was years later replaced by the Sonic X comic book before that too would be replaced by another Sonic comic title, that being the Sonic Boom comic, how different could the landscape of comicdom (comic fandom) be with Archie Sonic ending it's run? And what if the 48 page Sonic Super Specials were canned too back then?

Honestly sometimes I almost feel like there is a pocket of the Sonic Fandom that is entirely separate to everything else, and that is the Archie sonic fans. There are so many Archie characters and aosth characters that never even made it out into any other Sonic media, and so many story lines and character arcs that are exclusive to Archie that shape the characters into almost entirely different versions than their video game counter-parts. I mean just think of Fleetway too, and how different that Sonic is, and even Fleetway Amy, or Archie Shadow compared to Boom Shadow.

Putting a cut cause I ended up rambling really bad lol sorry

But tbh? If Sonic Team had just let go of archie early on, and smoothly moved on from era to era without any overlap... I wonder, would that have been better? Sort of like my little pony and monster high, how they change up the characters, world, and style with each new generation. But then you have moments where the fans don't like a new wave but are stuck with it, and can't get any new content of the version they already grew up with and fell in love with, so they kind of end up getting left behind in favour of the new generation of fans.

In fact, I think that's exactly why Sonic The Hedgehog has fans that follow the characters for years and years into their adulthood, and is why a lot of the writers and artists are those very fans grown up. It's because they see stories through instead of entirely abandoning them to appeal to the next generation. I remember there was a moment where a new sonic game would come out, and then the Archie comic would tell its own version of the game that included their own exclusive characters and build on their exclusive lore within their world and already-existing plots, just building up and up.

I think even after switching from Archie to IDW, Sonic team still does this. The new movies are wildly different and far removed from all pre-existing sonic media, what with Sonic growing up alone on our Earth and getting adopted by humans. It's clearly a new version of Sonic made fresh for a new, younger audience. I think Prime may also be aiming younger, too. But we still have IDW for older, already committed fans happening at the same time, along with new games like sonic fronteirs and the murder of sonic the hedgehog seemingly made with all ages in mind. I think that's why the Sonic franchise is so successful, because they have so many different versions of sonic and his world. He can appeal to absolutely anyone, any demographic. It does cause a lot of confusion with the lore, and some in-fighting over "what is this character's true personality" or general confusion over what even is canon or not. The whole point, I personally think, is that the sonic franchise has always encouraged fans to engage with the storytelling to spin their own versions or seek out their own preferences, and it shows in their staff selection, how a good majority of them are sonic fans grown up and ready to tell their own versions of sonic. Just like Tails said in that TailsTube episode, there's an infinite amount of Sonics in infinite amounts of worlds.

Long answer but yeah, I think its better that archie stretched on so long and truly explored absolutely every possibility, and that we get so many different versions that overlap with eachother. I don't think Sonic would have been as successful if they did generational waves like every other franchise, or at least not successful in the same way it is today. I think the Fandom would have been infinitely less creative too, have you seen how many Sonic fans are independently running their own Sonic comics??? Like @tatck , @the-heart-of-a-monster , @pandoraaucomic , ghosts of the future, the phantom ruby au, etc. How many fandoms just build their own fully-fledged content like that? I mean, in such a large quantity? There's a whole bag-full of fully illustrated comics I can think of off the top of my head, plus fully programmed and voice acted fan-made games too.

The way Sonic is set up right now, allowing their writers to chase any story they want regardless of clashing canon or overlapping separate versions, I think it really encourages fans to chase their own stories too. It's funny but I think your question sparked such a long answer because it made me realize why I really love Sonic. They just seem to have given their writers so much freedom, especially in the Archie era. It's a shame that staff like Ken penders kinda ruined that and forced them to put more restrictions. Even still, there's so much freedom and variations in the stories to this day. I mean, sometimes you can just like, not have humans exist at all! Or put crazy aliens! Or fast forward into crazy futuristic cities with hoverboards and flying cars, then dial it back to island living animal people with basic engineering. It's crazy and so fluid and nothing is ever set in stone, and you end up with crazy random stories like Sonic 2006, but that just makes it so fun and opens the world up to be so big. It truly is infinite possibilities, and I think that inspires the Fandom to higher levels.

[thetoxicgamer]

Surprise Killing Sonic the Hedgehog Shows Why He’s Lived So Long

This book, The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, is fantastic. Sega and Sonic's social team have once again shown that they totally grasp the characters, fans, and reason why the series is so popular with the release of a free game on Steam to coincide with the numerous April Fool's jokes our industry releases. Sonic the Hedgehog resists dying despite numerous attempts to do so. Part visual novel, part Ace Attorney, and part meme-filled fan service, The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is a short adventure that sees you take control of a new character whose first day on the job is marred by a murder mystery party that’s light on the murder, but heavy on the mystery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8sIhr-z5I It’s a rather simple and yet absurdly engrossing premise for us Sonic fans, as you get to see the large cast of characters interact with each other while the writing team has squeezed in as many deep-cut easter eggs and jokes as possible. One minute it’s a Tails voice line I’m certain most fans don’t even remember, and then it’s a recreation of the Family Guy death pose. There are a lot of reasons The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog works, and chief among them is Sega’s continued willingness to listen to series fans (many of which are now experienced developers or working at Sega themselves) and just let them make anything with ludicrous sincerity. Sonic social media manager Katie Chrzanowski says they “pulled together a group of friends and pitched” what would become The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (see the image below), and at this point, I’m not even surprised Sega went with it. Sonic Mania was given to someone in the fangame community that made mobile ports of the original games, and Sega even gave Sonic away to have him be in his own Roblox game. Part of the reason Sonic is still here is that Sega knows dedicated fans give him life, even if they show that by killing him. The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog also understands its audience. Deep cuts for long-time fans are mixed with a true understanding of each character to the point that despite none of them being voiced, you can absolutely hear each as they speak. This understanding extends beyond the game itself too, as producer on the project Michal Shafrir shared a render of the dead Sonic image with no background as a “launch day treat,” and it’s already being used to excellent effect. I even put him in that one scene from Goodfellas, but a cursory glance at the Sonic community shows that they’ve already gone wild with the image. It’s difficult to highlight how well The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog understands the fanbase without spoiling some of its best moments, but seeing Knuckles in a cowboy hat should tell you all you need to know, really. It also helps that it’s both a free game and incredibly well-written. A short and sweet experience, you’re just along for the ride while all the character’s personalities take over the screen. There are a couple of twists and turns in there, and even some cool uses of age-old Sonic lore as well. The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog might look like a joke, sound like a joke, and be filled with jokes, but it’s about as far from one as you can get. This game is very real, and we’re all the better for it. Sonic the Hedgehog is dead. Long live Sonic the Hedgehog. If you want more like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog we’ve got a list of the best story games available on PC, or you can play games more in line with traditional Sonic releases from our best platform games list instead. Read the full article

[ultraericthered]

I never got why "full-time Eggdad" took off as an idea in fandom. Ivo has had his own man-made mechanical "children" for years with only a select few sticking around (namely Metal Sonic, Orbot, and Cubot in game canon): Sage is more life-like than all others before her and is thus his new favorite child, but he's not one to re-organize his entire world and life's work around anyone else who's not himself, let alone one of his creations, let alone even his favorite creation. If anything, it's the reverse that I'd expected - Ivo would think of how to best exploit the child and her love for him as her parent so as to re-organize her world around the most efficient possible service to him.

With both Paramount movies out so far (and the third's on its way this coming year!), the IDW comics arcs, Sonic Prime, the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, Dream Team, and Superstars, Frontiers is really the odd one out among 2020s Sonic content where Eggman sits out of the active villain role. It was welcome for fleshing out his character and giving him a new lackey to play off of, but it was not and should not be held up as a new norm. Eggman and Sage are baddies, full stop, and it ought to be accepted and embraced.

Also love that Eggman isn't tied to Sage now like the fandom seems to want him to be with him never leaving her side and just being a wholesome domesticated dad and not a villain at all anymore. He's still his own character and not just an extension and accessory of her as her father, he's a whole great main villain of the series for 30+ years first!

This was also the case in Murder of Sonic already, sure she was in it but he was able to exist without her constantly being in the picture. His life doesn't revolve around her, he wants the entire world to revolve around him instead lol. I just love how they're continuing to do this with Dream Team and everything too and not letting anything or anyone hold him back from getting the solo appearances he deserves

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #482

Top Ten Sega Games

So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).

I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.

Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).

So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.

Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.

Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.

Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.

After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.

Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.

Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?

Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.

The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.

Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.

[robotnik-mun]

So, what happens when I decide to throw caution to the wind and mash together as many fucking Sonic Continuities as I possibly can? You get a big ass tangle of a family tree that needs to be split up into five separate images, that’s what. 

It’s ugly, it’s unpolished, and I made it on a whim. Because the mental image wouldn’t leave me. And because I actually started developing this godforsaken nightmare of a family tree, born of merged continuities, headcanons, and sleep deprivation. 

Now keep in mind that this thing is pure crack- it implies a world where Sonic eventually collapses from exhaustion of having to fight TWO Robotniks. It’s a mish mash of what-if’s, continuity mergers and personal ideas glued together. And I wanna stress it has nothing to directly do with my current setting- this is just like, The Path of Insanity. 

Anyway, yeah. Against my better judgement I made notes for this insanity. Also, you may notice pictures of characters from other franchises being used as portraits for various characters. Those are basically faceclaims of sorts, meant as abstract representations rather than the literal idea of what they looked like... since, honestly, even I’M not cruel enough to inflict my ‘art’ on you. 

Anyway, let’s get the ball rolling- 

“Robotnikhotep”

-Robotnik Ancestor in ‘Mobigypt’. Was probably some big important muckity-muck.

“Julius Robotnikus”

-Probably Mobius’ answer to Caligula. His family eventually fell out of power and was forced to re-settle in what would eventually become Overland. 

Ivo Kintobor

-Yeah, that whole ‘House of Ivo’ thing? This is the guy responsible. Most likely a douchenozzle, as there is a high concentration of that in the bloodline. Basically a minor warlord who unified a bunch of clans to form his own Kingdom, that was subsequently absorbed into Overland during the unification. 

Brutus Kintobor

-Oh wow, a SKINNY Robotnik/Kintobor. This douche canoe attempted to conquer Angel Island for the Overland, but failed miserably. Sent back home in disgrace, a failure.

Gerald Robotnik

- Originally born Gerald Kintobor of the House of Ivo in Overland. He was more interested in science than politics, and after completing college he left that mess behind and immigrated to the United Federation. He changed his name to signify the break from his family history. 

-Explored Angel Island in his youth, where he learned about Chaos Emeralds and the like from the various ruins there. He was even friends with then-guardian Janelle-Li. 

-Started up Robotnik CORPS. He founded it as a way to disseminate his technology to the people of the UF and earn money to fund more experiments. 

-You know the rest. The ARK, Maria, NIDS, Black Doom, Shadow, yadda-yadda-yadda. 

Olga Robotnik

-Gerald’s wife. Duh. 

-She met him while he lived in a spare room her father was renting out. She’d collect his rent. They grew close and eventually had kids and started a family. 

-The shit this poor woman endured is amazing, but she managed to remain unbroken by it, and tried to remain close to her surviving grandchildren. 

Grigory Robotnik

- The first son of Gerald. He wasn’t a genius, but he pursued a career in academics and became a doctor of physics. He had two children, Warren and Maria.

-After the ARK incident he became paranoid and accused the government of covering up what really happened. The obsession to uncover the truth destroyed his physical and mental health, and he died a shunned outcast ranting on pirated radio stations about various conspiracies. 

-Died in a halfway house, but he managed to get ahold of Gerald’s diary before biting it. While he never got to use it to bring down GUN, it still paved the way for Eggman’s eventual use. 

Amelia Robotnik 

-Maria’s mother. After the ARK incident and the supposed death of her children, she fell into a deep depression and eventually committed suicide. In case you haven’t noticed, the story of the Robotnik family is depressing as fuck. 

Warren Robotnik, ‘Warpnik’ 

-Maria’s brother. What a tweest! 

-He was with her on the ARK, and demonstrated a similar scientific gift to his grandfather. He wasn’t close to Shadow the way Maria was. 

-When the ARK was raided, he was captured and subjected to brainwashing treatments by GUN in the hopes of turning him into a loyal, in-house mad scientist. All it did was make him batshit crazy. 

-He escaped some time during the Great War, and is now loose in Mobius, a lunatic geneticist fixated on continuing his grandfather’s ‘great work’... or at least his own warped perception of it. 

Maria Robotnik 

-You know her. You love her. Her life is a tragedy. She’s Maria! Nuff said. Years later, and she still weighs heavily on Shadow. 

Ivo Kintobor

-And here is where things get a bit confusing! Ivo was born ‘Ivo Robotnik’, the second son of Gerald. Long story short, he was a douche more interested in politics and profit, and as such did not get along with his father, who bequeathed the family company to his younger brother. 

-Despite this, Ivo SOMEHOW managed to reproduce. And when the ARK incident happened, he bought the government line hook line and sinker. He changed the family name back to Kintobor and moved everyone back to Overland to start anew. 

-He’s like 50% responsible for Julian winding up the way he did. 

-And yes- he DOES want to bulldoze the puppy orphanage to create a combination oil rig/toxic waste dump. 

-Was murdered by Julian, who disguised it as an accident. 

Lydia Kintobor

-ICE BABY ICE. 

-Julian and Colin’s mom. 

-She 100% supported her husband’s douchery, and was an active participant in tormenting her secondborn son in the hopes of ‘breaking’ him out of being a genius. 

-Killed in the same ‘accident’ that took her husband’s life. 

Colin Kintobor Sr. 

-Born in the United Federation, but moved to the Overland as a child and grew up there. 

-Major league Nationalist and Human Supremacist. Prick. 

-Hated Julian basically forever and was encouraged by his parents to do so. He became their ‘golden child’ and was pushed to succeed at everything. 

-Pursued a career in politics, law, and the military, and eventually served as a general in the Great War. 

-Was eventually murdered by his own brother

Miriam Kintobor 

-Colin’s first wife, via arranged marriage. 

-She was pretty much his opposite, yet despite that fact the two came to genuinely love one another. 

-Died giving birth to their son. Have I mentioned the Kintobor/Robotnik family history is a trainwreck yet? 

Angela Kintobor

-The second wife of Colin. She probably met him while serving as a military functionary during the Great War. She is also the mother of Hope Kintobor. 

-Other than that, I got nothin’. She likely died when Hope was young, by way of Swatbot invasion. Seriously, do NOT become a Kintobor Love Interest. 

Colin “Snively” Kintobor Jr. 

-You know him, you hate him! It’s the Snivster, bay-bee! 

-His mother died giving birth to him. His dad blamed him for this. You can guess the rest. 

-You know most of the story- crappy childhood, admired his uncle Julian, helped him take over the Kingdom of Acorn, spent a decade as his punching bag, etc etc. 

-After seemingly offing Julian during Endgame, he briefly took over the Robotnik Empire.... and promptly lost it to Naugus, forcing him to flee for his life. In exchange for information about Robotropolis’ defenses, King Acorn spared his life but sentenced him to be imprisoned forever.

-Was busted out by a returned Julian so that his uncle would be able to properly ‘thank’ him for losing his empire. Helped the FFs to escape Robotnik’s revenge, and after spending time bumming around with them (and hating it) decided to throw in his lot with Crazy Uncle Ivo. 

-He’s regretted it ever since... though he sticks with him because its either Ivo or Julian, and Julian will ensure his death is cruel, messy, and lingers for years to come. 

Hope Kintobor 

-The second child of Colin Kintobor. She was born during the later years of the Great War and spent much of her early life living in siege conditions as Overland tried and failed to stop the advancement of Robotnik. 

-Eventually she witnessed the death of her father and remaining family at the hands of Robotnik before being saved by Sonic. She had an extended stay in Knothole afterwards, where she slowly learned that much of her people’s views of Mobians was innacurate. 

-She eventually moved to the United Federation as a ward of GUN, serving as the technology expert for Team Dark. She is close to all of them. 

-Seeks to redeem the name of her family so that it’s legacy won’t be one of bloodshed, conquest and madness. She’s got a waaaays to go, to put it mildlry. 

-Despite everything she still cares about her awful, awful half-brother. 

Dr. Julian Robotnik 

-Had a REALLY goddamned crappy....well, life, basically. Take my word for it. 

-Has basically murdered his entire immediate family by this point. 

-Prior to the Great War he aided the Overlander Ministry of Conflict in toppling the legitimate government of the Kingdom of Amunopolis (Aleena’s Kingdom), forcing it’s royal family to flee to the Kingdom of Acorn and re-settle under new identities, with crown princess becoming ‘Bernadette Hedgehog’. That’s right- he’s indirectly responsible for Sonic existing. 

-Blah blah blah evil experiments blah blah war crimes blah blah sentenced to be executed by Overlander government during the Great War and blah blah blah coup.

-Took over a large swathe of Mobius and expanded to conquer more, and for a time seemed like he might conquer the entire planet. The Robotnik Empire is.... not a fun place. Then or now.

-Then Sonic and the FF’s happened. Then Endgame happened, and he was... indisposed for a while, leading to his empire being diminished. While he has returned, he has suffered numerous setbacks since then, and the Robotnik Empire is now greatly diminished from its peak. 

-That being said, he still rules a pretty big part of the planet, and is still the biggest danger to the world at present.

-Hates his cousin Ivo.

-REALLY goddamn hates That Hedgehog. 

Laura Kintobor 

-That’s Doctor Laura Kintobor (nee Ellison) to you, buster. 

-She and Julian both worked as scientists with Overland’s science ministry, where they met and befriended one another. She eventually managed to coax Julian out of his shell, and their friendship bloomed into a romance, which led to the two marrying. 

-She worked in the organic sciences division and was an expert on biology and zoology. In contrast to most scientists, she was very much an outdoorswoman. Even managed to convince Julian to partake. 

-Much like her unfortunate sister-in-law, she died in childbirth... giving birth to a stillborn daughter. 

-Yeah, this shit is grim. 

Theodore Robotnik

-Third son of Gerald. Blatantly named in reference to Theodore Roosevelt, who was used as a visual reference for Eggman.

-Basically a professional beancounter who later inherited Robotnik CORPS. He chose to stick with his original name even after the ARK incident, and struggled to keep Robotnik CORPS afloat in the immediate aftermath of the incident. 

-Set up a trust fund for his son Ivo, and tried his best to raise him to be a contributing member of society. 

-Sufficed to say, that didn’t work. If he’s still alive, he has a REALLY tense relationship with his son. 

-Named his son after his older brother as a passive-aggressive act of spite for abandoning the ‘Robotnik’ name. 

Dolores Robotnik 

-Mother of Ivo. She was a professor of chemistry who decided to put her career on hold in order to be homemaker. 

-Was much closer to her son than Theodore was, and often wound up having to play peacemaker between the two. ESPECIALLY during Ivo’s tumultous teenage years. 

-Sufficed to say she is not exactly pleased with how he turned out, assuming she’s still alive even. 

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

-HE IS THE EGGMAN. HE’S GOT THE MASTER PLAN! Really, do you NEED to know any more? 

-Well, okay, you do. He was born very shortly before the ARK incident and never knew his grandfather. 

-His childhood wasn’t horrible, but it was rough in areas due to his high intelligence making things more difficult for him than they should of be. Loads of disagreements with his dad over pursuing science. Spent years plagued by the derogatory name of ‘Eggman’ due to his weight problems. 

-You know how you fantasize about ruling the world as a kid? He never really left that stage of things. 

-He initially worked as a research scientist in the fields of AI and energy. During the Great War he was approached by GUN to develop weapons for them. His research would go on to form the basis of the robotic soldiers later used by them in the Robotnik war. 

-Began his plot to take over Mobius during his time there, and secretly began to appropriate resources and machines to build a hidden base on the distant South Island. Eventually his schemes were discovered by GUN, but he fled. 

-While his cousin conquered portions of Mobius elsewhere, Eggman began his long term Death Egg scheme as a means of conquering Mobius in one fell swoop with the aid of the Chaos Emeralds. 

-You can guess how it goes from here- he encounters Sonic on South Island and in the Scrap Brain Zone and is defeated, thus setting the tone for MANY other defeats in the future. He eventually took on the name ‘Dr. Eggman’ as a way to differentiate himself from his cousin, and to make the insult that dogged his life into a name to be feared ala ‘Penguin’. 

-When his cousin Julian was seemingly killed and the Robotnik Empire in dissarray, Eggman started new bids to take over the world. He established the Metropolis Zone as his ‘capital city’ and founded the Egg Army to help supplement his Badnik Horde. The Eggman Empire now exists as a terrorist army at the beck and call of Dr. Eggman, though he’s still got a ways to go. 

-Has four sons by three different women. Slut. 

???

-Haven’t got a name for her yet. She was a random girl that a college age Ivo knocked up, which putty much put an end to her collegiate ambitions. She gave birth to two sons, one of whom she bitterly named ‘Ivan’ as a reminder of his origins after failing to get child support out of her babydaddy. She re-married and is currently leading a comfortable enough life. Humors her son because she knows it annoys his biological father. 

Ivan Eggman

-The oldest of Eggman’s sons. In his mid 30s or so. Scientifically gifted, as his father was. 

-Has numerous, numerous issues pertaining to his stepfather, a hard and strict man with little toleration for nonsense.

-Idolizes his biological father and desperately wants to be acknowledged by him, even changing his original surname to ‘Eggman’. Eggman the 1st was NOT amused. 

-Eventually founded a company, Eggman Industries, and grew rich rapidly. Settled by the Bygone Islands where he pursues life as a ‘villain’ now, though really he’s more like a public nuisance than anything. 

-Honestly he’s basically living a ‘second childhood’ of sorts using his scientific know-how and riches, and has vowed to one day impress his father and earn his acknowledgement. As you can imagine, it is.... not working out at all, given that he’s even more of a goober than his pop. 

-Ironically, he isn’t naturally bald- he SHAVES his head. 

Steve  

-Yeah, he ain’t a robot here- Steve is the organic, younger (by about a minute) twin brother of Ivan. 

-Utterly unconcerned with science or any of that jazz. He’s basically a bohemian beach bum, complete with californian accent- he spends much of his time surfing and earning cash from side jobs. 

-Really mellow and easy-going, and doesn’t really dwell on stuff. 

-Utter himbo. 

Mrs. Robotnik 

- Ex-Wife of Ivo Robotnik. Haven’t given it too much thought, but she and Ivo met while working in acadamia, and eventually married. 

-Initially the relationship was pretty solid, and they even had a child together. However things swiftly deteriorated between the two as Ivo’s immaturity and increasing anger at the world strained their relationship, along with him being a lousy parent to their son. She eventually divorced his ass. 

-After going through a rough patch with her son, she has begun to re-connect with him after his years a delinquent, and now happily supports his endeavors. 

Ivo Robotnik Jr. 

-Middle son of Dr. Eggman. Had a nonexistant relationship with his father while growing up, which combined with the divorce eventually turned him into a juvenile delinquent. 

-He roamed with a biker gang for a while, and prefers to be called ‘Junior’ rather than ‘Ivo’. 

-Fell in with Breezie for a while, the both of them unaware of the other’s connection to Eggman. They eventually went their separate ways once Junior began to turn over a new leaf. He still carries a torch for her, though is painfully aware it’d never work out. Their relationship is... complicated, these days.

-Has since become a software security engineer, making a living providing Anti-Eggman/Robotnik software to companies. 

Lindsey Thorndyke

-A famed actress. She and Ivo had a drunken tryst at a wrap party where he’d been invited to act as a consultant on scientific accuracy. To avoid scandal she informed her husband, and they passed off the baby as their own. 

-What more do you want. Its LINDSEY. 

Chris Thorndyke 

-The youngest son of Ivo Robotnik. Spent much of his life completely unaware of his true parentage. 

-Eh, what can I say, I kind like the theory of him actually being a Robotnik in some capacity or the next. 

-When he was a boy, he befriended Sonic and his friends and even hosted them during the days when Eggman’s schemes for global conquest caused him to haunt Station Square for a while. 

-Admired his grandfather Chuck and pursued science to be like him, studying physics and engineering. 

-Thanks to his mom he’s something of a film buff. 

-In college he learned the truth of his heritage. This has put a strain on his relationship with his parents.

Francis Kintobor 

-The youngest of Gerald’s sons. Pursued a career as a schoolteacher. While he changed his name in the aftermath of the ARK incident as his older brother Ivo had, he chose to make a small joke at his brother’s expense over the ludicrousness of the name change by naming his own son ‘Ovi Kintobor’. 

-Named after Francis Mao, aka That Guy Who Made That One Comic Adaptation From 1991. 

Elizabeth Kintobor

-Dr. Ovi Kintobor’s mother. A career veterinarian with a strong love of animals. That’s about it. 

Ovi Kintobor 

- Grew up on Westside Island, among Mobians. Had a pretty happy and contented childhood, and like many of the other various members of the Kintobor/Robotnik clan developed a pronounced interest and skill in science at a young age. 

-Developed a particular interest in researching Chaos Emeralds.

-A Concientious Objector, he served as a medic during the Great War.

-Deeply, deeply shamed by the actions of his more notorious cousins, he has essentially hidden himself from the world to pursue his research and evade their notice, while helping against them in whatever way he can. 

-Has secretly transported people threatened by his cousins to safer places, and once caused a mass sabotage of their respective robotic forces through the ‘Nicenik Virus’. 

-An ally of the Freedom Fighters. 

-Deeply distrusts GUN (which frankly isn’t a bad call).

-Bit of a hippy, but really is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help others through science. 

-In some villages he is known as ‘Mr. Tinker’. 

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 14: SCOURGE

............

............

......Huh?

Oh, hello there! My name's Lutrudis, pleased to meet you. Judging from that look of surprise on your face however, it's evident that you weren't looking for ME per say... What's that? You want to know what this is? Right, of course, my apologies.

Well, this is a mini-series belonging to... ahem, my creator, in which he goes into slightly more detail about his thoughts on the villains in Sonic's history, and why he thinks they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). Usually he gives his stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. He also stresses that these are just his own personal thoughts, and that whether you agree or disagree, you're free to share your own thoughts and opinions.

Unfortunately, as you may have gathered, it seems he's a bit occupied for today, and is thus unable to do a review... is what I WOULD be saying if he didn't let me cover for him! That's right boys and girls, I'll be filling in for him today, by doing a little review of my own! Please forgive me if I prattle on for extended periods, but I sincerely hope my efforts in assessing the Wrong'un of the Week are of the utmost quality. Truth be told, it's kind of nerve-wracking, but I'm happy to give it my all for you guys. ❤️

So then, let's carry on with the show, shall we? Welcome to a new edition of Sweet or... Sour. Welcome to Sweet or Sour. Yes indeed, heh heh... (Is the creator's language normally this gratuitous? I hope Cream hasn't seen his posts...)

Anyhow, for today's review... well, this is quite interesting. Normally the creator prefers to keep his reviews focused on game-centric villains, but I guess he made an exception with this one. Today, we'll be directing our attention to a notorious copycat of our blue hero in the Archie continuity, and legendary connoisseur of 70's fashion: Scourge the Hedgehog.

The Gist: Once upon a time, in the land of comics, there was a world known by all as Mobius. But there was also a parallel dimension called Anti-Mobius, or as it would later become known as, Moebius... one E makes all the difference, apparently. Anyway, in this dimension, everyone and everything that existed in Mobius had an identical equivalent in Anti-Mobius, but things operated a bit differently, in the sense that they were largely the opposite of what we were familiar with.

Putting aside the rather disturbing implication that this world might not have had any real will or independence if it existed purely to do the opposite of what Mobius did, this meant that it had a Sonic the Hedgehog of its very own, as well as a father to that Sonic. Sadly though, this Sonic's father was not that kind to him. In fact, he was said to be a rather poor excuse for a father, as evidenced by how he didn't give his son enough attention, and... oh, that's it.

How awful.

I'd say his choice of attire is the real crime presented here.

Anti-Mobius in its original form experienced a period of Great Peace, but alas, it was not to last. It soon became a shadow of its former glory, which seemed prophetic in hindsight, as it was by this time that this world's Sonic the Hedgehog - Evil Sonic - murdered his own father in cold blood, and then threw his world's incarnation of King Maximilian Acorn into the Zone of Silence. He quickly became a dictator to the people of Anti-Mobius, with his only immediate opposition coming in the form of the kindhearted counterpart to Dr. Ivo Robotnik... or should that be Dr. Julian Robotnik, in this continuity...? Hmm, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore...

Naturally, the laws of the universe saw fit to correct this wrong. Just as water is wet, and fire is hot, Sonic gives evildoers a right kicking. And lo and behold, our magnificent hero did eventually meet his evil duplicate. The two were evenly matched in speed, but the good-natured Sonic triumphed regardless, possibly because he had more wittiness on his person.

Pictured: Quality banter.

Evil Sonic later brought along the rest of his gang to aid him, who predictably mirrored Sonic's own band of Freedom Fighters. They were just as much of a match for our heroes, which is a polite way of saying they weren't. You really shouldn't expect anything exquisite when they looked like this.

Maybe you should call your group something else then...

These parlor games went on for a while, with the status quo never truly changing. But then, after one final showdown with Sonic, the evil Robotnik of Mobius kicked the bucket, which among other things, inspired ANOTHER Robotnik to fill the void. This Robo-Robotnik took Evil Sonic along with him to commit many acts of dastardly intent, an act of generosity that proved to be tragically undermined by Evil Sonic getting caught and trapped by different people time and time again, to the point where even his old gang had long replaced him with a new leader. He did go on to escape the grasp of one Zonic the Zone Cop... only to later get arrested again by the same guy. So far, so adorably incompetent, right?

Still, he did bust out once more, and he proceeded to turn the overall universe into a glorified soap drama by pulling the moves on numerous ladies in Mobius, which in true Evil Sonic style, achieved precisely nothing of merit. Even after he briefly teamed up with Rouge the Bat, his luck persisted in not manifesting. But things were about to get even worse... for us. On a meta level, if you know what I mean.

After one final botched attempt at pointless thievery, with the Master Emerald being the prime target in this particular case, Evil Sonic's attempt to gain himself a super form was halted midway with great force by none other than Locke, the notorious father and attempted microwave murderer of Knuckles the Echidna. Rather than kill him however, all this did was change his fur to green, and leave him with some hardcore scars.

He promptly renamed himself Scourge. Because he's a real SCOURGE to good ideas, har har.

New kid in town, do not steal.

With his first act of villainy as a new man tattering to pieces due to foolishly invoking the wrath of Shadow the Hedgehog, he soon crossed paths with Dr. Finitevus, an albino echidna who otherwise looked exactly like Knuckles (good heavens, how many of these can one muster?), and spent some time on his side by aiding a new gang of lovely gentlemen called the Destructix. Together, these functioning psychopaths committed more mindless evil.

He also managed to swoon over Fiona Fox to his side, a miraculous modicum of success considering you need some sort of charm to be able to do that, of which Scourge has shown nil. I'm hardly an expert on dishing out romantic advice, but I'm willing to bet there's plenty of superior fish in the sea, Fiona...

How about “Oh my god, did I seriously die to THESE losers?”

Eventually, Scourge and Fiona broke away from Finitevus' allegiance after the deadly and boring Enerjak was unleashed on Mobius. He returned to Anti-Mobius, and it turned out that any repairs made since the last time he was king didn't amount to anything substantial, because he went and conquered the entire land all over again. Rechristening his old gang as the Suppression Squad, he continued Being Evil™ some more, until the aforementioned Suppression Squad betrayed him for constantly being abhorrent to them, which led to him being stuck with Rosy the Rascal for a while, yet another shameful derivative of a close friend.

In his last days, at long last, he finally achieved a super form with the power of an Anarchy Beryl... only to get soundly thrashed once again, get thrown in prison, and then just when it seemed he'd be back in business, he got wiped out by the Genesis Wave. Tch, Mondays, am I right?

As you can tell from my words alone, let alone in an extremely abridged format, he did a fair amount over the years... and yet at the same time, when you really think about it, he ultimately did so very little.

Oh, and there was also a Metal Scourge at one point. I'm aware that the man who made him has never been all there in the head, but I still find myself questioning why he saw fit to go through with this nonsense.

I shouldn't need to say this, but that's a disgrace to the hostile Eggman robot that I know and detest.

The Design: Well, he started off as a Sonic, so it's to be expected that he'd look exactly like the lovable goof. Since this was ~Evil~ Sonic though, he was determined to remind us at all times that Grease was in fact the word.

~You're the one I don't want, you're not the one for, no-ho-ho, honey~

Then he turned green, and... yeah, he turned green. All I can say, really.

Please excuse me, I'm utterly beside myself with amazement.

It doesn't quite strike the imaginative chords, needless to say. And neither does his super state, which... I'm sorry, it's not normally my cup of tea to chide others for their appearance, but just look at this tripe for a moment.

No, I don't think I will.

When you combine his already ridiculous self with black eyes and a tiara... what exactly is the intent here? Am I supposed to be intimidated by this display?

Keep this between us if you can, but personally, I'm more intimidated by staircases than I am by this fiend.

The Personality: You would think that since a Sonic is a Sonic, Scourge would share a lot of his personality with our Sonic. And that is true... in the most superficial sense possible.

Sure, he's jovial, cocky, and prone to moments of overconfidence, which is enough to sound very familiar to us on paper. Beyond that however, that's all they really have in common beside their appearance. In every other category, you could argue that Scourge is the exact opposite of Sonic.

For instance, whereas Sonic is supremely loyal to his friends (trust me, I’m grateful to know!), Scourge treats his gang like fetid garbage, and that's when he's not outright abandoning them, neglecting them, and putting them in danger. Likewise, whereas Sonic is a blue bundle of bravery no matter the odds, Scourge is a poor little chicken when the going gets tough, despite all his ramblings about being Sonic's full potential.

This means that for all the acclaim he receives as Sonic's evil doppelganger... he shares very few similarities with who he's replicating. He's barely any different from all the other ruffians that Sonic faces, so what point is there to him being a Sonic at all? If he had a different name and design entirely, what would honestly be lost in translation?

But then, maybe he would just become Mephiles the Dark instead.

Or Mimic the Octopus instead.

Or Eggman Nega instead.

Or Ken Penders instead.

Or... sheesh, they all kind of blend together after a while, don’t they?

The Execution: If my general tone has thus far not been enough of an obvious indication, I do not rank Scourge with any particular favouritism when it comes to Sonic's rogue gallery.

Mind you, ANYONE who threatens our world and tries to kill my friends is nothing but rancid at their core, and as long as they remain unrepentant, I would never support any of them. Asking me which dangerous maniac is “the best” is like asking me which sewage stinks the least, after all. But even I can understand that there's a right way to do bad, and a wrong way to do bad. Scourge, Evil Sonic, whatever you wish to call him, falls squarely into the latter category.

How I'd love to shove an arrow up His Majesty's rear end.

First of all, his motivations were poorly structured, and that's putting it tactfully. Most of the time, we're led to assume that he does evil for no other reason than because it's evil, so we're already not looking at masterpiece material. But as it turns out, as I mentioned way earlier on, he grew resentful of his father for not giving him as much attention as he felt he deserved.

So when he killed his dear old dad, and went on to do everything else to bitterly stick it to his dad's memory, we're supposed to... sympathise...? Understand his point of view, perhaps...?

Well, I dare say I'll be sticking my nose up to THAT presumption, because there is no pathos to be had here. None at all. It's just a selfish brat becoming a violent and murderous selfish brat, and nothing more. By doing everything for evil's sake, intertwined with this sorry excuse of a tragic backstory, it's as if he's trying to have the best of both villainous worlds, without understanding what makes either of them work.

Secondly, for what little success that Scourge actually had to his name, few of them were by his own hand so to speak. As much as it pains me to give Dr. Eggman even a veneer of kudos, it does require mentioning that for all of the doctor's contemptible attributes, he truly is single-handedly responsible for a great majority of his own... achievements, if you wish to call them such. By contrast, this stinker rarely worked for his moments, instead often relying solely on others to get anything done efficiently, whether it be Fiona, Finitevus, his gangs, or the Anarchy Beryl. Without them, Scourge was always nothing.

Thirdly, as mentioned, he failed to fulfill even the basic concept of what Sonic would be like if he became evil, since he has virtually nothing in common with the hero he's trying so desperately to present himself as the corrupted counterpart to. While I'd obviously prefer not to entertain the mere notion of an evil Sonic anyways, since I know deep in my heart that he would never go down that path, I know him well enough to reasonably assume that even if he did lose his way, he would still be recognisable in some capacity, since there are countless aspects to his personality that remain so... inherent to how his mind operates.

I guess what I'm saying is that if an evil Sonic came to be, he would exist as a darker mirror of how Sonic actually is, and not... something that is not at all like Sonic beyond the physical.

What's the matter? Not used to a horse seeing you for what you really are?

Finally, remember when I said he was considerably more cowardly than Sonic? I wasn't simply referring to life or death battles and similar heat of the moment situations. Even when the scenario is of lower intensity, when the odds are completely in his favor at that, Scourge proves himself to be what Sonic isn't. Remember when he broke into the house of Sonic's father, with the intent to intimidate and kill said father... only to be scolded into submission by him? We're expected to believe this guy is a big baddie who ranks high in threat level, yet getting a telling off is sufficient enough to shoo him away?

If only Eggman was this easy to deal with...

Now granted, it's to my understanding that all of Scourge's failings are occasionally explained as him being a parody character. But, and correct me if I'm wrong here... aren't parodies supposed to be, you know, parodic, even if done subtly? As opposed to being played completely straight with no trace of irony, which is exactly how Scourge was portrayed throughout the entire duration of the comic's run, with no exceptions whatsoever?

Despite how often the comic insisted otherwise, and despite how often he received it, Scourge was not a villain who warranted importance. He was not a master planner, or a legendary conquerer, or a malevolent force of nature. He was bottom of the barrel, a wannabe at best, who thought he was made for bigger stripes, but remained little more than a walking pile of fresh manure, with nothing to show for it till the very end. His credibility was often alluded to, and handed to him, but never in any stretch was it properly earned. A punk who occasionally got lucky is hardly worth the rank of arch-fiend, in my humble opinion. He was a disgrace who simply had the luxury of wearing Sonic's skin to mask his shortcomings, and I can’t say I’m crestfallen to see him go.

And quite frankly, anyone who impersonates Sonic in the first place reeks to high heaven anyway. To think this trash heap thought he could ever compare in the slightest to my darling... Oh goodness, did I say that out loud?

Lutrudis Gives Scourge a: Thumbs Down!

[nothing-fancy94]

TDR Valentines Special

Hey guys! Whew! I made it before the day ended! Here’s a special little gift, exclusive to my tumblr followers. A little bitter sweet short story of Amy while in the cadet program. I wrote this quickly and didn’t proof read, so my apologies for the errors. Hope you enjoy!

And if you’re new to my stories check them out on Fanfiction, here’s a link to the one this short is taken from: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13221856/1/Team-Dark-s-Rose

...

Valentine’s Special

~Valentines Day - 7 months ago~

The sun had set early, but that hadn’t stopped the throngs of Mobian lovers from clogging the streets of Station Square like a fat heart’s artery. Amy Rose glared at the passing couples as they giggled in their respective pink bubbles. She was sitting at a cafe, books and papers laid out around her as she studied for her next exam at G.U.N. and she now regretted leaving the cadet dormitories. She hadn’t wanted to stay there with the possibility of her roommate distracting her, but now she would take the incessant chatter of tech and inventions any day over the mewlings and giggles that filtered through the air.

She had forgotten… She Amy Rose, the love sick Sonic fanatic had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day. She sighed and closed the book in front of her, it was obvious she wasn’t going to be getting anything done. She packed up her study materials, ordered a latte to go, and took to the streets taking small sips of the hot beverage. As she passed window display after window display of pink and red hearts, she wondered how it was possible that the holiday had approached without so much as a thought in her mind. The commercial industry literally shoved it down consumers throats beginning in January, and the buzz of the female agents would’ve been focused on who was asking who out to see the new Needlemouse Movie that was debuting tonight. She had somehow managed not to hear any of it, or hadn’t registered the meaning.

Or I was deliberately avoiding the subject.

The thought hit her like a sledgehammer, and she paused in her walk. That’s right… it hadn’t been that she wasn’t exposed to it, she had blocked it entirely from her mind, due to certain events in her life. Mainly the subject of her affection hating her. It was only two years ago that she had spent the whole month of February planning extravagant presents and formulating a plan of attack to get Sonic the Hedgehog to go on a date with her. Last year she had found some time to leave him gifts at his headquarters, but this year she couldn’t even do that. Not after the fight they’d just had… not after she had completely pushed him away. Burning any chance she had at even being his friend.

Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, and she wanted to fall into the ground, she wanted these feelings to go numb. She wouldn’t even care if it meant she could never love again, because what she was feeling now felt like dark, heavy clouds of despair that just would not dissipate. She wanted to scream, wanted to punch that couple that sat just a few feet from her. Wanted them to feel the same pain as her, because how dare they get to have something that was forever out of her reach.

The couple must’ve sensed the murderous aura because the girl looked over and her eyes widened in fear. Amy’s face was twisted in a devious grin, and her eyes were brimming with tears, but she looked anything but sad. She looked more like an insane person ready to tear apart the next person who gave her a side glance. The girl whipped her head around and tugged aggressively at her boyfriend’s sleeve before urging them to leave.

Amy watched them go, a thick armor of anger protecting her from feeling anything else. Once they were out of sight, she tossed her half drunk latte into the trash, and shoved her hands into the grey G.U.N. hoodie she wore. This was pathetic, here she was, moping around and acting like a mental patient. She turned and was about to head back to the barracks when a bright neon sign caught her eye. It was a human holding a bat, and hitting a small white ball. The words read ‘Batting Cage,’ and below it was a sign that was black with red writing.

‘Single and bitter? Join us for Solo Hits! Break last year’s record and earn a prize! Singles Only!’

Amy stared at it for a  moment and then she grinned, an evil light glinting within. This seemed interesting… at least it would kill some time before she returned.

She entered the establishment, and walked up to the teenage rat that was leaning casually behind the counter. His bare muzzle was a minefield of angry zits, and his whiskers were tangled and oily from lack of care. Amy walked up to the counter and slammed some paper rings onto the counter and tapped her foot impatiently. The rat was wearing a green polo and shorts, and when he saw her - an attractive female hedgehog - he straightened up and patted at the wrinkles in his shirt. Flecks of unknown food crumbs fell to the floor. 

“How can I help you miss?”

Amy smiled as sweetly as she could muster and pointed to the sign behind him that advertised their single night deal.

“I’d like to participate in the single challenge.”

The rodent looked her up and down, obviously doubting that she was alone, but when no male companion walked through the doors, he reached below the counter and pulled out a helmet and pink bat. 

“Here ya go miss, don’t worry about the high score, I can just give you a prize anyway.”

He winked, and tried at a smizing smile that came off as a sneer. Amy wanted to curse his snide little face. How dare he assume she couldn’t do as well as any male in the place. She was tired of people looking down on her abilities, so she decided to teach this little asshole and any other male watching, that she wasn’t some weak girl in need of handouts. Amy narrowed her eyes slightly, and started to put her long quills into a ponytail. Still smiling with fake honey, she giggled,

“Oh I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble…”

“It’s nothing at all miss,” The rat said, his chest puffing out, easily falling into her trick. She giggled again, her high pitched tone reaching into the depths of the place. Suddenly the sharp tings! of balls hitting metal bats slowed until several single males were peeking out from their cages, their animal instincts reacting to her feminane presence. 

“Oh you’re so silly!” She exclaimed, and put the helmet on, and grabbing the bat, “Just out of curiosity, what is the score? I’ll try to get close so you won’t get in too much trouble.”

“15,000 points miss, you get 50 points for a hit and 100 for a home run. But if you get 3 strikes you’re out.”

“I see,” Amy freigned disappointment at the impossible odds, and the males around her started to feel a bit antsy.

“Don’t worry little gal,” a large armadillo interjected from the cage next to the one she was standing by, “I’ve gotten the closest, 7,350. I know I’ll get it this round, my prize will be yours.”

Amy turned, her eyes wide and sparkling, “Really? You’d do that for me?”

The armadillo blushed, and scratched the back of his head, “Oh it’s no thing at all. Though I wouldn’t mind if the little lady would join me after for a drink.”

Amy smiled sweetly, and entered her batting cage, leaning her bat against the fence that separated them. “Well aren’t you just a gentleman.”

Her voice was light and bubbly but as her face angled away from him, a dark smirk wrinkled her muzzle and she took off her helmet to remove her hoodie, not wanting to become hot and uncomfortable. The males in the immediate area completely left their cages and crowded around with wide eyes and drooling mouths. All Amy had on beneath her hoodie was a workout bra, as she had planned to hit the GYM after studying, and her body was sculpted to perfection from the past year of training.

Amy turned and looked at the armadillo who looked as though a meteorite had just fallen from the sky in front of him.

“I have a better idea. Let’s make a bet, if I don’t break the record then I’ll go out for a drink with you. But if I do, then you have to fulfill my wish.”

The male blinked for a second, before a shit eating grin developed on his face. To him this was a piece of cake. There was no way this small hedgehog girl could break the record, and even if she did, there was no way she wouldn’t ask for something that was easy to fulfill.

“Okay then doll, you got a deal!”

“Oh wonderful!” Amy jumped up with enthusiasm, her ponytail bouncing and the eyes of several males went up and down to follow her path. 

She put her helmet on once more, and lifted the bat, putting it on one shoulder and then the other. Then she turned to the males watching and awkwardly smiled, “Aww, jeez… this is my first time.”

This caused a roll of laughter to filter through the place, and the armadillo smiled triumphantly. Amy tapped the opposite side of the plate, and crouched down, waiting for the ball to come whizzing past the plate. When it did, it flew by without even the threat of a swing and slammed into the backboard. She heard chuckles from behind her, and a male say, “Wow dude! Looks like you’re gonna get luuuuucky tonight!”

Amy smiled, and waited as the second ball came, but this time she purposely waited until the ball passed the plate before swinging.

“Oh Chaos! This is hard! Can I take back my bet?” She asked innocently looking behind her at the armadillo. The brown male folded his arms, and shook his head his mouth split in a smile from ear to ear.

“No take backs sweetheart. You’re only as good as your word.”

“You’re mean,” Amy huffed, and the surrounding men mockingly joined her with sympathy. She turned and began to wag the bat as she waited for the third ball. This time she hit it, and it went flying out of sight. She stood on her tip toes as she watched it soar through the air and hit the large red wall that marked the home run area. Her score board flashed and the words ‘Homerun!’ flashed in pale yellow lights. This time there was silence behind her, and she smirked in glee. 

“Wow! Is that good?”

The males mumbled and the armadillo nervously chuckled, “Yeah doll… but don't get your hopes up. It was probably beginner's lu -”

TING! 

Another homerun. Amy wanted to laugh out loud at the hushed exclamations of disbelief behind her, but she had a record that needed breaking. She settled in and got to work.

...

“156,200 points! New record!”

TING!

“156,300 Points! New record!”

Amy was beginning to feel a little worn out so she decided it was time to stop. Besides she’d blown the record out of the water. She stepped back and fanned herself as the ball flew harmlessly across the plate and a voice came over the intercom, “Strike 3, you’re outta here!”

She huffed, and pulled the helmet from her head, her jade eyes bright and her quills splayed in a sweaty mess behind her. 

“Whew!” She exclaimed, and continued to fan herself as she excited her cage, walking past the throngs of males that had gathered around her. They parted like the red sea as the little pink hedgehog walked through, her tail wagging happily. The batting cages were the quietest they had been since it’s opening; not a single metal ting could be heard. Amy walked up to the counter, the teenage rat stood with his mouth wide open and his whiskers twitching in disbelief. Behind him stood a large skunk male who had a managers pin on his broad chest.

Amy stood at the counter, and slammed the bat and helmet on the table. She smiled genuinely, and felt elated at her accomplishment. She hadn't felt this good in years.

"So… I believe I'm owed a prize."

The manager made a sound that was close to a coughing chuckle and he walked forward.

"Well little lady, I do believe you are."

The male was smirking and he pulled out a gold ring from the cash register. It had a baseball embedded in it.

"This allows you to come here for free as long as your record holds… and by my guess, that's going to be quite a while."

The skunk was smiling knowingly and his blue eyes sparkled with humor. Amy smiled back, took the ring and stuck out her hand.

"Name's Amy Rose, just wanted to introduce myself to you since I'll probably be seeing you a lot from now on."

His grin widened and he took her hand in his, "Its a pleasure Ms Rose. My name is Ronni, and if any of these knuckle heads give you trouble, you let me know. Hey! Randy, get your ass over here!"

The armadillo cautiously made his way through the crowd, his hands rubbing against each other nervously.

"Yeah Ronni?"

The skunk smiled and crossed his arms.

"I do believe you owe this miss a wish. And I hope you won't back out."

"That's right," Amy said mischievously, "No take backs, and you're only as good as your word."

The armadillo gulped, visible sweat glistening on his temple. He tried at a smile but his voice cracked as he spoke.

"W-what is it that you want?"

Amy smiled her jade eyes brighter than the sun. 

"Well, if you'd be so kind as to follow me to the tattoo parlor next door, I'll tell ya."

...

Amy was practically skipping down the street, her lips split in a wide grin, and her ponytail swinging wildly. If she looked insane before because of her anger, she now looked completely mental with a flower growing out of her head. She couldn't get the image of Randy's face as he stared at his new tattoo on his chest, a red rose with the words 'I lost to Amy Rose,' around it. 

Without realizing it, her feet had lead her to the one place she never thought she'd find herself. Instantly the smile melted from her face, and her eyes went blank. All her early joy was instantly sucked out of her chest and she was left standing before the large building with colorful circles like an empty husk. There were piles of presents and boxes, stuffed Sonics and flowers, piles of letters that surely confessed many a females love. 

She felt her stomach do flip flops, and her throat twist. Curse this heart that only beat for a blue blur, curse these feet that always led her back to him. Back to the one who could cause her to feel higher than the moon, and lower than the dirt with just a word. 

She wanted to just leave, to just go home and forget she was ever there. But then the door opened and her heart screamed to run across the street. Sonic stood outside the headquarters, his jean jacket hanging on his arm. He was looking around in what seemed to be shock, but then he started to move through the piles. He tossed boxes behind him, flipped over envelopes looking at names, and when he had finished making his way through all the piles he stood back with an unreadable expression on his face. 

She couldn't look away, people passed her, cars moved and honked between them, but she felt like she was right next to him. She closed her eyes and she could smell him, feel his breath on the chilly night air and hear his chuckle as she presented him with some extravagant gift. She slowly opened her eyes once more, but he was gone, disappeared into the night.

Amy sighed, and turned but against her wishes she felt her body moving across the street. Her backpack slowly moved to the front, and she didn't take her eyes off the doors while her hands riffled through the contents of her back. Fingers grasping hesitantly on a pen, and a crumpled corner of a scrape piece of paper.

She reached the doors, and crouched down, her fingers trembling as she scribbled out three words. She didn't sign it, she didn't leave anything else, she didn't want him to know it was her. For the first time in her life, she didn't want him to know her feelings. She stood when it was finished, and ran from the building, a tear finally falling from her eye, those words pasted to the inside of her eyelids. Words she knew she would never be able to speak out loud again... not to Sonic, not to anyone.

I love you.

[blazehedgehog]

Real question: why on earth did they give rouge tit physics in a game for children? Baffles me to this day (even if they are very primitive physics)

The answer is that because Sonic Adventure 2 wasn’t really for children. I mean, yes, the story is incomprehensible in the game itself, but once you untangle it with all the supplemental material, it’s like… weird and tragic, right?

A little girl with a terminal illness gets wrongfully murdered by the military, sparking a campaign of revenge meant to bring about the apocalypse. If you ignore that later Sonic games sweep it under the rug, Eggman irreversibly damages the moon, no doubt playing havoc with earth’s gravitational fields.

And it’s possible the game was originally even darker. I want to do a video on this some day, but it would take some serious leg work digging up the sources to properly cite, but Sonic Adventure 2 went through a stylistic change at some point during development.

We went from this logo:

to this logo:

Sonic Team made a specific effort to point out they changed the logo, talking about how specific color choices were meant to represent different tones in Sonic Adventure 2. But then what is the original logo supposed to convey? The original logo is more stark, more dramatic, more serious, and you can’t just chalk that up to it being something they always intended to change. It was deliberate.

And I’ve heard things, some of which were lost to the sands of time and will require serious Wayback Machine digging to find again. Things with concept art, some of which was reconfirmed when that Cook & Becker book came out, but there’s concept art for Sonic Adventure 2 that hasn’t been seen publicly since 2000 – like the original design for what was probably the Biolizard, where it was a horrifying creature covered in eyeballs (and it should be noted that a lot of that early Shadow concept art features him missing an eye, tying in to the theme).

My whole point here is that I think Sonic Team was trying to make Sonic Adventure 2 a weirdly adult game, and then at some point, they changed their minds and tried to lighten things up. This is part of the reason why the plot feels so hacked to pieces, because it actually was. I assume maybe somebody at Sega told them to tone it down, or maybe early focus groups didn’t like it, or whatever.

But parts of that old version still kick around. The helicopter pilot swearing in the Sonic Adventure 2 Trial, for example, may have been a hold over. Rouge’s jiggle physics were probably a hold over.

Sonic Team eventually got to make their gritty, serious Sonic game when they created Shadow the Hedgehog. There’s evidence to suggest that at least a couple things originally planned for Sonic Adventure 2 made their way in to Shadow. 

One day I’ll dig up my sources and produce that video. Some of it is still speculation, because the pieces weren’t all there back then, but it’ll be wild.

[leagueofidiots]

I'm great at keeping us occupied at least

Heya, so I had a rough Thanksgiving and started that draft I've talked about...after certain things happening I no longer really want to work on it anymore, but enjoy what used to be a good concept! Still can't do the "keep reading" thing, sorry

No trigger warnings, just know this is after my NaNoWriMo, but you can read it without context just fine. Some Shigadabi and Magnetmagic, but nothing huge

"Everybody pack up your crap, we need to drive up to Sapporo," says Shigaraki, laying Father over his face.

"Why can't Kurogiri just take us? And why do we have to go anyway?" Toga groans.

"He's not feeling well, so I don't want to overwork his quirk. We're going because I said so."

Twice lowers the bottom half of his mask to cover his mouth. "Whatever you say, boss!" He begins shoving various things into a knapsack. "I just wanna lay around and do nothing!"

Dabi slowly gets off of his bar stool. "Oi, creep, you know I get car sick, right?"

"What?" He continues placing hands over his upper body. "Since when?"

"Since I made a slightly large turn. Personally, I think he just likes whining," says Spinner, nose pointed up to the air.

"Well we just won't make any 'slightly large turns' then." Kurogiri gives him a sideways glance, but Tomura promptly ignores him. "Toga, I'm serious. Get up. You're not getting out of this."

Magne pulls up the younger girl by the arm. "Who's driving? I'll have to take a pass, I don't have a license."

"You're in your thirties, how do you not have a licence?" asks Twice, standing at the door like an eager boy scout.

"My parents took mine when I got my pronouns and name changed, and then I committed two murders. That sort of eliminated the option." 

"Oh." He shrinks sheepishly. "Well, I'd say they had it coming then. Murder is not a good way to solve your problems, Kenji!"

She shrugs. "I have Pringles, you think I should bring them?"

Compress grins, debating between his masks. "Oh, absolutely. I would still like to know our business in Sapporo though, Shigaraki. It could affect what I wear."

"Well, I'm hoping to avoid the public once we're up there, so bring one of the ones you can stuff in your bag."

Dabi looks at his boss in disgust. "Really? We're stuffing things in bags, and you're bringing all fourteen of your corpse hands?"

"You say that like you're not a walking chunk of rotting barbeque as is, player two."

The black-haired villain shrugs. "Fair enough. Just don't make me carry the bag or anything."

"So can I drive?" asks Suichi eagerly, trying to get back on topic. "I really love feeling the power of a car under my hands."

"If you've already made Dabs blow chunks, I don't think that's a great idea," says Toga, digging knives out from under the couch cushions.

Spinner pouts. "Fine."

Kurogiri finishes a drink he'd made for himself, and looks around at his murder babies. "Is everyone all packed? I am sorry I couldn't make us a warp gate."

"It's no prob, Kuro, we all feel under the weather sometimes," says Jin, back to looking like he's waiting for Disneyland and not a sixteen hour drive from Yokohama to Sapporo. "I blame you for my suffering."

"We're all packed," says Atsuhiro loudly, finally placing a mask over his face. "Which car are we taking?"

Over the past several weeks, the league had stolen a lot of cars. Toga said a crime that took such thought and planning was basically pointless, but Jin liked hotwiring cars, so what else was there to do? So the league now had five vehicles, including a baby blue minivan, a pink bug, an orange pickup truck, another minivan (this one white, it was Tomura's favorite), and a bright green sports car. Compress had them stored as marbles in one of his coat pockets.

"The minivan," says Shigaraki, grin creeping past Father's fingers. "You know which one. And I'm driving."

"Shotgun," calls Dabi, sulking over to the door. "One more window to look out of as I try to keep my insides where they belong." Tomura rolls his eyes.

"So, are we gonna play any road trip games?" asks Toga, considerably more excited than when Magne had to drag her out of her chair.

"I dunno, what did you have in mind?" The tone in their boss' voice suggests he's going to turn down whatever she says, but Himiko never has been good with his social cues.

"Truth or dare! Twenty questions! Spin the bottle! Two truths and a lie! Would you rather! Kiss, marry, kill! Concen---"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" he snaps. "Whatever, just pick one. Maybe it'll stop Dabi from puking his guts out in my stolen car."

As Compress expands the white van in the alleyway next to the League's hideout, Toga cheers. "Jin, what do you want?"

"I don't care. Two truths and a lie!" He quickly clambers into the car, seizing the back left window seat.

"Sounds great!" She shuffles in next to him. "Kuro, you start!"

He lets out a short sigh. "Yes, alright, fine. I suppose I can come up with something."

Dabi hesitantly gets into the front seat, setting his own empty knapsack by his feet. "This better not get weird, or I'll just hop out of the window."

Shigaraki gives his boyfriend a pointed glare as he takes the wheel in his half-gloved hands. "I told you, you're not allowed to make jokes like that anymore. You worry me."

"Sorry," he says dryly, not sounding very sorry at all. "I'll just eat all my Altoids at once then."

The rest of the team piles in, Suichi next to Toga; Compress, Magne, and Kurogiri in the middle row. "Why wear our villain costumes if we're being discreet when we arrive?" asks Spinner, struggling with his scarf.

"To scare civilians when we stop for food. I hate lines," says Tomura, starting the car.

"Are you sure you know how to drive?" asks Jin, hand raised. "I have complete faith in ya, boss man!"

"Yes, I know how to drive, I've been playing racing games since I was younger than Toga!" he snaps.

"Okay, okay, go," says Himiko, smacking her hand on Kurogiri's shoulder.

The purple void thinks as Shigaraki pulls into the street, already scratching at his neck. "Hm...Alright, I'm ready. Number one: I am twenty-eight years old. Number two: my real name is Morimi Yoshiano. Number three: I have a scar on my eyebrow that makes it look like I shaved a slit in it to be edgy."

Magne laughs. "That third one has to be the lie."

He shakes his head, sending swirls of mist into the backseat. "Entirely true."

"Number one is," rasps Tomura. "If that were true, I would have met you when you were thirteen or so. Possible, but unlikely."

"Well, I suppose it's fitting you guessed it. Is it your turn then?"

"'Morimi Yoshiano'. That sounds off for some reason. I think I'll stick with 'Black Fog'," says Compress.

There's a murmur of agreement across the car. "Okay, I think I'm ready. My hair used to be black, I hate Sonic the hedgehog, or I've never been in a movie theatre."

Dabi turns to him with a "ha". "I know for a fact your hair was black as a kid. And everybody hates Sonic, so---"

"Excuse me, what?" Tomura almost swerves into the next lane as he turns to his now-green-tinged boyfriend. "Everybody hates Sonic?!?"

"Face the street, creep, and stop treating this like bumper cars," he says in a wavering voice.

Shigaraki faces forward. "Sonic was and is an iconic video game, vital to the development of---"

"Was it the lie or not?" whines Toga.

He huffs. "Yes, it was the lie. Your turn."

"One: I used to think Tomura was cute. Two: I've eaten dog before. Three: One time I stabbed Dabi's arm while he was asleep, and he didn't even notice."

Kurogiri looks back, slightly disturbed. "I'm not sure which answer I want to be correct."

"I don't think you'd eat a dog," says Jin, though he sounds unsure.

"That's what she wants you to---" A weird noise from Dabi cuts Spinner off. "Gross, man."

Dabi tosses a mint at his teammate's head after popping one in his mouth. "Shut up. I can't help it."

"This is getting boring, you guys are being too easy," says Toga. "The lie was the dog one."

"So what now?" ask Twice. "I am perfectly content!"

"I dunno, why don't we play spin the bottle like you suggested earlier? It's certainly high risk," says Magne.

"High risk? What do you mean?"

She grins, adjusting herself in her seat. "Well, we have a gremlin with crusty lips, a queasy piece of bacon, me, Sako, a void, a sociopath, Deadpool, and a lizard. There's not really any solid wins besides my boyfriend, and that's brought down by the fact that his not-singleness makes it awkward."

Suichi grins. "Like a game of chicken. I'm in."

"I wouldn't call myself a void, but alright, I guess."

"Isn't Himiko a minor?" asks Shigaraki, itching his neck.

"You're concerned about that but not---" Dabi hiccups, "---not driving with a hand over your face?"

Tomura huffs and takes the hand off, tossing it onto Dabi's lap. "Happy? Now I may be a criminal, but I have, like, morals."

"Oh, come on, Shiggy. I'm consenting. And it's just a little kiss," she whines. "I don't have any people my age to be my age around, you know? I want my teenage years to be as teenager-y as possible."

He stops joltily at a red light. "Alright, but if this is what we get arrested for, I blame you."

She grins. "Okay, just let me pull up the app!" Jin huddles over next to her for a minute as they type in names and adjust settings. "Ready! Who's spinning first?"

"What's the punishment if you pass?" asks Compress, taking off his mask and fanning himself with it.

"Hmmmmmmm." She taps her chin. "A good question."

"Whoever chickens out has to buy the person they didn't kiss something from wherever we stop," suggests Magne. 

Everyone groans. Everyone is broke. Even the author, writing this at 1 am after a mental breakdown is broke. The fourth wall is broke.

Anyway.

Toga presses the button on her screen, and the automated sound of a spinning game wheel sounds throughout the car alongside Dabi's groans of discomfort. "And I will be kissing...Suichi!"

The scaly villain groans. "Why me?" Still, he faces his left and takes the quick peck. "Okay, my turn." His clawed finger presses the button, and once again suspense fills the air. "Compress, that's you."

"Must I?" he asks dryly, turning around. The ordeal is over as quickly as the first round, and Compress removes his glove. "This is setting up to be a long road trip." The clicking begins once again, and finally lands on Kurogiri's name.

"Whoaaaa," crows Jin. "Are you gonna have to deactivate your quirk? We don't want his face going through. That would be hilarious!"

Kurogiri tenses. "Um. Well, there is always the option of buying you something."

"We're all broke and you know that. Come on, it isn't that bad." The magician pulls his glove on, leaning over his girlfriend.

"Yeah, besides, we wanna see your face! It's like a fun little mystery!" says Toga, leaning forward on her elbows.

Tomura glances back. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Kuro."

"No, no, they have a right to know what I look like. It's waited long enough," he says with a sigh.

Dabi, bag held lazily in one hand, turns around slowly, trying to act apathetic. Kurogiri rolls down his window, letting a gust of air in, and the fog around his slowly dissipates. 

"Whoa, you're kinda hot, in a weird, battle-worn kind of way," says Jin. "That's a lot of damage! And we're gonna repair it using flex tape!" He puts a banana sticker on the man's forehead.

Kurogiri peels the sticker off slowly, taking a few purple hairs out in the process. His face is scattered with patches of light skin, making his dark eyes stand out against his features. "What is flex tape?"

And this is where I stopped oof

[praphit]

The X-People: DP Degrees of BS

Frickin Phoenix!

(What does that even mean? “Every hero has a DARK side?” She kills people! Are all of our heroes murderers? - but I’ll get to that later.)

I'm mad! That's right, people! I'm mad at MYSELF! Why? Well, I could have taken the kids to go see "The Secret Life of Pets 2", so we could laugh our asses off (Idk what kids I'm talkin about - just randomly picking kids up off the streets and taking them to see movies... prob best I didn't do that). 

I could have seen something cultured like "Late Night" or "THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANSISCO"; which I admit is a stupid title, but it seems like it's a good movie. But, no, people! My comic book geekiness would not allow it!

Instead I went to see this bullshit right here - “X-Men: Dark Phoenix”. 

Don't look at me that way, Sansa! You know dag gon well this movie is some ol' bullshit!

You know! The rest of your acting squad knows, the director knows, the writers know - I knew from the first trailer! I knew from the first time they announced that they were taking another crack at a cinematic Phoenix story. Why?? Cuz we've done this before! Yep! 

There it is! - and it was terrible! 

What’s going on with that poster? Apparently, they didn’t have any confidence in that movie either. Why is Wolverine running at me like Sonic the Hedgehog?

I tried to find a better poster, but...

Here they look like they’re posing in some 80′s rock video. TAKE THAT STAND:)

I was mad back then with the first trailer, because I knew that this moment would come. And I actually really liked the first two movies of these particular X-Men. It was Apocalypse that ruined everything. 

People thought that movie was so bad, that it erased all the good that this franchised has done (even going back to the older X-Men):

The ground-breaking 1st movie (tho it prob doesn't hold up),

(Creepy old Magneto is coming for dat ass!)

Wolverine 

(it's hard to imagine anyone playing him better than Hugh Jackman. And he should have won an award for how cut he got... and he was so modest. If I ever  end up looking like that, WHEW! - ladies look out:),  

I loved Patrick Stewart as Prof. X, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender's intense hot & frigid bromance (though we never got our make-out seen:), Quicksilver (man, I wish we could get more of him), "Logan" (excellent comic book movie), and I'm not sure if we'd have Deadpool without them ruining that first Wolverine movie. Not to mention that they marketed the hell out of this movie franchise and made so much money! But, then this guy showed up and effed it all to hell!

("Everything they built will FALL... ")

- you ain't lyin, jack!

And while that movie was terrible, it wasn't as bad as everyone said. Bullshit sure, but... there are different degrees of bullshit. Apocalypse was forgettable BS, sometimes there's BS that makes us laugh, or think, or cry - what type of bullshit will Dark Phoenix be? -  Let's take a look:

This movie kicks off with the X-Men in space. Yep! SPACE! Since when are the X-Men astronauts? Which movie did they get training for any of that? How did they build an X-Jet for space travel? Did they learn it on YouTube? And even if that were the case, how's the government allowing this? If a group of talented minorities built a functional space craft, do you think President Trump would allow them to come and go as they please? Shiiiiiii In the movie they don't even test it first. Xavier just says that they'll be fine, and sends the kids off.

I think that there needs to be an investigation. Prof. X is trying to kill these kids. He keeps sending them on missions that they shouldn't come back from:

X-Men: "But, professor, we don't know how to disarm a bomb!"

Xavier: "You'll be fine."

X-Men: "But, professor, the X Jet isn't built for deep sea exploration, we don't even know where we're going!"

Xavier: "Y'all will figure it out."

Then, as they come back, he's counting to see if they all made it - "Ten kids left, and coming back, I count... ten DAMMIT! But, wait, one is injured... doesn't look like he'll pull through. YES! (as he drinks some bourbon - which he does at an alarming rate in this movie... prob to block out all the kids he has killed).

While we're on the topic of him - did the movie "Split" ruin James McAvoy's take on Prof X for anybody else? This is all I kept seeing when he was on camera.

But, as you know, cuz they did this exact plot in "X-Men: Last Stand" Jean Grey gets possessed by some space entity while they're up there, and becomes Phoenix.

Jean (played by Sophie Turner, who actually does a good job) is found to have done something horrible. Xavier (and this is no spoiler, cuz again X-Men: Last Stand") blocks out the bad stuff she has done to try to protect her, this eventually wears off, and now we get DARK 

...wait, sorry.

Now we get DARK PHOENIX! 

There we go!

(”Where’s my money?!”)

Now, Jessica Chastain is in this as well seen here, experimenting with bleach,

 who's leading a group of aliens to manipulate Jean (I'll get to them later). But, if JC is in the house, you can be sure that a women's rights message will be in there somewhere (#drinkinggame) And BOOM, there it was - "Don't let some MAN in a chair tell you what you are? - what you can and can not be! Don't let him controoool you!" 

I'm all for girl power, buuuuuut she HAS been on a bit of a carnage streak, and she has been killing people, annnnnnd isn't Jessica Chastain also trying to control her? But, imma let all that go... what do I know?? :)

I gotta be honest, I was digging the first half of this movie. They were capturing everything I love about the X-Men: social issues, political issues, teen struggles. They have lots of real drama going on amongst themselves. There are times when you'll cheer the X-Men on and times when you'll agree with some of the humans that THEY GOTZ TO GO! I love the flaws of the X-Men; it makes them relatable. I even love the struggle with having so much power, and yet having to try to walk a line of morality - which they suck at btw.

The professor sucks at it the most, which made me kinda sad, actually. BUT, to be fair, he has the power to control people's minds... would any of us with that power be able to consistently resist certain temptations?? Def not giving him a pass though. He does a lot of messed up stuff (some things they draw attention to, and others that they don't). Some things that made me cringe, even though MOST of what he was doing was out of love. I can't depend on none of my fave leaders anymore - not even the fictional ones.

We were getting into some deep stuff! BUT, then it was as if some big shot walked on the set and reminded them that they have a "Blow shit up" quota to meet, and that the plot points were slowing them down. Soooooooo, they burn the script and start blowing things up. Some people might say "Praphit, this is a comic book movie, how much script can you expect?" If this were 20 years ago, I'd agree.

Plus, it's more the fact that nothing makes any sense at this point.

Magneto (who's always the voice of reality in these movies, in my opinion) wants to kill Jean (for very good reasons), but he knows that he can't take Phoenix by himself, so why is he trying? He's a smart dude; why not come up with a better plan? Prof X wants to talk to Jean, to reason with her... the problem with that is that they just tried that a few days ago, and that couldn't have gone any more terribly than it did. The aliens in this movie (which lack all personality btw), who's objective is to control Jean, also know that they can't really do that or take her out (which was plan B), so... what the hell are we doing? The aliens are supposed to be the smart ones!

Prof X should have just controlled everyone's minds, and played a big game of immoral chess to take Jean out - that would have been a cool movie. But, this (though the effects are VERY COOL:) simply became a shoot-out! Not to mention, that right before all of this awesome, but confusing damage takes place, they have a big speech about restraint and not doing harm. Literally, a minute later, the X-Men are blowing buses up!

But, all of that is not even what makes this movie bullshit (grade: D+ btw). What makes this movie bullshit is the fact that it's the last one before Disney takes over.

You'd think that they would have given it their best, so that they can go out making us miss them! But, it felt like half way through the movie the team was told that this is all over, and that Mickey Mouse is coming to collect, but instead of going out with their best, they said to themselves "bleep it" and mailed-it-in.

The way that the final battle scene ends doesn't make any sense. It's one of those scenarios where "If you could do that... why didn't you do that earlier and save more destruction?" and a lil bit of "Well, if you had THAT much power, then none of these other altercations should have even been close."

The way it ends after that too! Man! It's like they just fast forwarded through the parts they didn't feel like acting out. This is the last one, people! Just lazy!

Yeah you!

I've got a spoiler, sooooo if you don't want it, skip through the text after Patrick Stewart - and start reading again when you see his handsome face again:)

(this is back when I learned to love this man)

So, Jean is... gone (possibly dead), and the X-Men name the school after her "Institute of Jean Grey" or something like that. Also, Prof X steps down (maybe due to guilt of his misatkes with Jean, who knows for sure, cuz they didn't act it out), and leaves Beast in charge in with the other teen X-Men to instruct the 'young kids at the school. "Other TEEN X-Men" Did they just make these kids professors? And what qualifies Beast (at this stage in his life) to run the school? Plus, Jean Grey was kind of a murderer wasn't she (and this wasn't a secret from the rest of the world)? Come on,kids, let me sign you up for "Ted Bundy's School for gifted youngsters" Would you be onboard for that? Hell no!

(Here’s PS fresh off a bender. “I promise, Timmy, I’ll try to think about never touching the sauce again, but this hair says that I will.”)

So... I'd say, entertaining bullshit. The effects (especially) at the end are great! But, the rest... and to go out like this... ugh.

There's a cool quote in here from Mystique (played by J.Law) who clearly didn't want to be there. It was a quote about how the women in the X-Men seem to be sticking their necks out and saving the day way more than the men, and that  maybe Xavier should change their name to “The X-Women”. I thought that was not only funny, but a damned good point. I say do it!

I'd love it if you had a a big strong manly man of the team go ahead of the action and stand up to the enemy, and when asked "Who are you?" he replies

"We're the X-Women."

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

The Most Pointless Character in Sonichu

Taffy here. This was a post I made for the Kiwi Farms forum on the most pointless character in Sonichu in late October 2017, and I took up the challenge to prove every single character has no point. This was kind of my beta version of what would become Taffy’s Annotated Sonichu, so I thought it would be worth reprinting here (also I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get more CWCDefense or GitM up, I’ve been really sick for the past two weeks and I’m just now trying to get back in the swing of things).

Chris's comic persona and fursona are pointless because he could have just lived vicariously through Sonichu and not have an in-comic presence.

Sonichu himself became pointless after Chris took over as main character but was already pretty pointless since really Chris could have just written a straight Sonic fanfic with Sonic as the lead in the first place. Besides the occasional electric attack and the complete lack of an original personality he's basically Sonic.

That said, all the characters ripped wholesale from Sonic or Pokémon (Sonic himself, Perfect Chaos, Robotnik, Giovanni) are pretty pointless as they were dropped not long in as Sonichu grew to have its own canon with its own crazy cast of characters.

In addition, any character ripped wholesale from any other franchise (Beavis & Butthead, Bugs Bunny, Meg Griffin) exist solely for "fan service", or rather fan disservice.

Rosechu is extremely pointless, all she does is A) be a token girl, B) prove Sonichu is STRAIGHT, and C) occasionally face rape someone. That said The Incredible Lioness is probably the closest we get to a real character with a point, rivaled only by the Voltorb that kills Simonla. They have simple purposes (to brutally maim and murder) and they do them to a T.

Kel is pointless since Rosechu could have just been Chris's Pokémon to begin with and she didn't need to exist as a middleman.

For that matter, any character best known for being a Moon Pal (Bill the Scientist, Metal Sonichu, Yawning Squirtle) or just as a meme in general (Inos), while being great for laughs, are all pretty irrelevant background characters.

Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc exists solely for Chris to physically obliterate his sexual insecurity.

Any Jerkop or Manajerk exists solely for Chris to vent his frustrations with real people who were just doing their jobs. Same goes for Hanna.

Blake is too inconsistent to have a point to existing. He was a pointless villain-of-the-week at first and then he was a pointless supporting character.

Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli are particularly pointless because Chris' relationship with Sarah was already waning when he wrote Sonichu 2. Since the reincarnation plot point was dropped not long after, you can honestly skip Sonichu 2 entirely and not miss anything.

Mary Lee Walsh, while being awesome, is like the jerkops and manajerks just there essentially as a comic book voodoo doll. Maybe the point of her was to show that Chris can in fact write an interesting and badass female character? We'll never know.

Count Graduon is pretty redundant with Mary, power wise. Other than to vent frustrations with his graduation he's really pointless.

All of the Chaotic Combo are basically team filler filling out some elements that the rest of the team lacks. Specifically:

Wild Sonichu doesn't really have a personality. He's pretty redundant with Sonichu himself, other than, of course, we need a green Sonichu. The one thing that possibly could have made him interesting, the struggles of being a single father, are really rushed over so Chris can get back to the murder spree. His only notable father-daughter bonding experience was drilling a man to death.

Bubbles Rosechu, aside from being the token blue Sonichu/water type, finds one Sonichu ball and then returns to being a moron.

Angelica Rosechu, although I imagine her original purpose was to be a pacifist voice of reason and a token religious character, well, that got thrown out the window pretty quickly. The things that differentiate her from Bubbles besides their powers are few and far between.

Punchy Sonichu is just the token red character and the token Asian. Seriously I don't even know what "fighting type" means. In fact, why not make him fire type? It's the one element missing from the Chaotic Combo (Bubbles is water, Wild is earth, Angelica is air, Magi-Chan is ether/heart/mind, no one's fire!) (Note 26/11/18: I now know Fighting-Type is a type of Pokémon, but nevertheless “Fighting-Type is one of the weirder types. The Pokémon types are elements, supernatural creatures... and martial arts. And yes, the Fighting-Type icons in the series are red while Fire-Type is orange, but from a team balance perspective fire would have made sense).

Magi-Chan, especially after being paired off with Silvana taking away his sole unique trait of not being driven around by his penis, is just Chris's round the clock surveillance system.

Boulder Dropping Whale would have been useful if he actually killed Bubbles's mother but since he failed he's just a great meme.

Why does Flame the Sunbird even exist? He's literally just Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie and his role could have easily been filled by Wild or Bubbles or anyone because that stupid Sunstone doesn't even matter, except it does make everything grow like Norma, whoever she is. Norma is the most relevant character in that whole issue. (Note 26/11/18: Yes, I named Nadine’s mom after this typo.)

Again, Darkbind and Zelina are crimes against nature. (Note from an earlier repost): I am referring to a previous post complaining that Darkbind and Zelina were the combinations of not two but four franchises (Sonic, Pokémon, Zelda & Darkwing Duck) and came off as clunky because of it.)

Crystal the sister is especially irrelevant now that Chris is a girl (why not make her a trans man to mirror Chris' own transition? Oh wait JERKS.), but she was always redundant with Rosechu and Chris himself.

Sailor Megtune - why didn't he just draw Megan herself? We know he's okay drawing her.

Megagi - Already kinda redundant with Megtune and she really had no reason to exist after Chris & Megan had that falling out.

Jamsta and Lolisa speak for themselves at their uselessness. I mean, they are just bit characters anyway. But as someone else mentioned before their radio station is particularly shitty.

Patti-Chan, while her story is cute, just exists as a way for Chris to hold on to his beloved pet and not fully cope with her loss.

Allison Amber, although being one of the better characters, wouldn't need to exist if Chris would just do some work for once. That said if the point of her character was to be an audience surrogate (I mean, until she shoots a man in cold blood) then for once Chris succeeded.

Bionic the Hedgehog as previously mentioned is just there for the sake of having an orange Sonichu, even though he isn't one.

All of the specific characters of Chris's "real life" "sweethearts" (Pandahalo, Blanca, Ivy) as well as their OCs (Jiggliami, Blazebob & Chloe, Layla Flaafy) are pointless because they all just disappear almost immediately after they're introduced after Chris finds out they were a troll or they "died".

Likewise any rendition of one of Chris' real life trolls (Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Alec, Evan, Sean & Mao) are again just there as pen-and-paper voodoo dolls for Chris to take out his frustrations on. The trolls in particular almost work against Chris' point in including them because no matter how much Chris paints himself as the hero his violent murder sprees always end with him looking like the villain. (Justice for the Asperpedia Four!)

Beel is just Satan and a secretary for the 4-cent-garbage building. Pretty pointless.

Zapina is just there as a token "cute" character.

Simonla is just Wild's token sweetheart and then later the lynchpin Chris needed to justify executing his enemies.

Silvana, while another fairly interesting character, is just a villain-of-the-week with an added dose of Chris's sexual insecurity.

Sarah & Rita Jackarass - These two are both stupid minor characters, but why on Earth did there need to be two of them?

GodJesus exists solely to heap praise onto our beloved autist.

Those stupid Samurai Pizza Transformers are stupid. I hate them so much. I hope they burn in the Earth's lava core.

Sonichu & Rosechu's children are initially just there to be cloyingly cute and then once they're grown to be Chris's LGBT mouthpieces, forgetting that we won't listen to anything they say because we already hate them. Of special pointlessness is Cerah, because while Robbie is the most punchable he's at least the focus character of a lot of the newer stuff (even though we hated him as a Sonee, we hated him as a Sonichu, and we'll hate him as a Rosechu), and Christine is vapid she gives credence to the idea that Magi-Chan is giving it to Rosechu behind Sonichu's back which is way more interesting than canon. Cerah does jack squat besides be a lesbian.

The Asperchu cameos are just there for Chris to try to force Alec to give him what he wants and the Basement Rosechus are just there to slander Alec's name.

Sandy is particularly irrelevant since Simonla's back, she was never anything more than a replacement goldfish for her.

Kevin the Jew - I knew it! I knew it all along! Peppermint Patty is a boy!

Bananasaurus - Don't listen to your Patreon backers Chris.

Lastly, Russel & Cynthia are just there to fill the Sonee/Rosee void left when Cera Christine & Robbie evolved, a void no one in particular wanted filled.

Edited (27/10/17) to include all the MLP characters and Chris's ponysona - We hate them and we want Sonichu back. 

[another-sonic-blog]

ShadAmy Week 2018: Day 5&6: Pink&Black/ AU or CrossOver

ShadAmy Week 2018 Day 5&6: Pink and Black/AU or Crossover

Modern Amy & Shadow X Boom!Amy & Boom!Shadow Crossover

. . .

“Yes, whatever you say, Mr. grumpy”

“Just give me the Shattered Crystal Shards, pink hedgehog!”

“Come here and make me, black hedgehog!”

   Amy and Shadow were in their typical fights of the day, ever since Shadow accepted to be part of ‘Team Sonic or Team Knuckles”.

“I cannot tell you that!”

“Then, I shall not give it to you!”

“You know what! I am this close to punching you in the face and just steal the crystals from you!”- Shadow got closer to Amy so close to fighting her.

“Bring it on you jerk!”

   That’s when Amy and Shadow run towards each other, Amy taking out her hammer and Shadow in a kickboxing stand.

“HOLD UP!”

   Sonic got in the middle of both, Amy and Shadow quickly stopped.

“Move out of my way Sonic, I want to kick her pink butt!”- Shadow quickly looked over to Amy and Amy was quick to snap.

“Yeah, move away so I can actually break those black legs of this!”

“Guys please calm down! Its only been five minutes since we all gather together!”- Tails stood up from his sit. Knuckles and Sticks watched from afar, the sight already familiar to them, so they weren’t amused at all by the scene.

“I have been helping you and your pathetic team save the world for a damn year! And I think this is enough. Be careful Rose, one of this days, those Crystals will disappear from your possessions!”- Shadow then, walked out of Tail’s house as he slammed the door.

   Everyone fell silent, everyone got used to having Shadow around, it was a year after all... and for him to suddenly to just get out of the team seemed to unreal at the moment.

“Amy, can I talk to you for a sec?”- Sonic looked Amy, to which she nodded in answer. They both went out of the house and as Sonic closed the door behind them, he kept looking at Amy.

“Amy-”

“I know, I know! I was wrong”- Amy, looked down at her feet in disappointment.

“It been a year since Shadow join us, but you seem like you can’t trust him still”

“It's just, I don’t know...Every time I am near him, he gives me this weird feeling, I-I”

“I am not telling you that should give him the Crystals, they are yours after all but I am just telling you that should try and give him a chance. You might actually end up liking Shadow haha”- Sonic said, smiling at her.

“Oh, hell nah!...But, I do think you are right...I’ll go look for him”- Amy said as she began to walk away.

“Good luck, Ames!” . . .

   Amy didn’t take long at finding Shadow. however, the bag that she was currently carrying behind her back contained all seven Crystals. He was at his usual place, the village nearby lake. This used to be Amy’s usual place as well, but as Shadow came to stay in the village, she stopped coming once in a while. It was either she was here first or Shadow. He was sitting in front of the lake, still thinking about his previous actions. Maybe he was the one doing wrong? Maybe he didn’t work hard enough to gain Amy’s trust?

“Hey, Shads!”-Amy patted on his back and Shadow quickly flinched at the touch. Amy was never friendly like that...at least not to him. Amy sat down next to him, looking at the moon.

“Shads?”- Shadow asked him, Amy had never called him Shads before. Only the rest of the gang.

“Look, Shadow... I know, we have problems but...I think is my fault for not trusting you. Its been a year and well, whatever happened with Lyric should stay in the past...its just that whenever I am near you, I don’t know I just feel weird and-”

“Are you confessing your love to me, Amy Rose?”- Shadow teased her.

“Only in your dreams blackie!”- Amy playfully punched him in the arm.

“Right back at you pinkie”- Shadow laughed a little, but he quickly stayed quiet as he wanted to keep his cool.

“Oh, actually I brought you this”- Amy showed him the bag she brought with her, and as he opened it, he was surprised to see all the shattered Crystal.

“Wait, why are-”

“You used them, make sure to give it back to me tho!”

“You don’t want to know what I am going to use them for?”

“If you don’t want to tell me, then I respect that...I trust you Shadow”- Amy smiled at him,  and at that moment he felt glad Amy was with him.

“...I want to use this...to learn about my past”

“Uh?”

“Have you ever heard of alternate dimensions?”

“Um, yeah...but Shadow, what may happen in another dimension, doesn’t mean it will be the same as ours”- Amy didn’t want to disappoint Shadow, but at the moment it was for the better.

“I know, but...Its been so long since I stopped searching for my past... I just want to know...how is the other me doing? Does he know about his past? And if he does, how did that affect him? Was his past good? bad? Did he ever stop looking for that blonde girl I see in my dreams? Maybe, I can get some answers....”

“Shadow...lets do it!”

“What?”

“Let's travel to another dimension!”

“No, It might be dangerous, that's why I didn’t want to tell anyone! I don’t want anyone to be in danger because of me-”- Shadow realized at what he said and stopped himself from speaking up his mind.

“Oh, Shadow...I would hug you but I know you hate hugs”    So, all of those times Amy didn’t want to hug him in ‘group hugs’ was because she knew he didn’t like hugs?

“But, just like I trust you, you have to trust me that I can take care of myself...so please let me go with you”

   Shadow took a moment to think...and in the name of the Ancients, he hoped he was making the right decision.

“...fine, let's do this as quickly as possible...and let's not tell the other ones”

“Let's do this!”

   Amy and Shadow placed the Crystals on the ground in circle form, they were soon in the middle of the circle made out of Crystals.

“Ok...Amy...hold my hand”- Shadow said, and Amy didn’t complain and she quickly did as he told. Shadow quickly flinch again, goosebumps going through his body... damn it, Amy.

“Oh, shredded Crystals... show me the way to the answers I want to find”    The Crystals began to glow and move around them.  

And then, they disappeared. . . .

“OUCH!”

“I thought this would be a pleasant ride, Shadow”

   Amy and Shadow had landed in a beautiful landscape, a forest behind them, a cliff with an ocean view and a beautiful sunset in front of them.

“HEY, THAT’S MY MOTORCYCLE YOU ARE ON TOP OF!”

   Shadow instantly recognized that voice, he didn’t know his answers will get this quick. Amy and Shadow both stood up as they landed on the not so stranger’s motorcycle.

“Amy, what are you doing here with that FAKER? We were supposed to have a date today”

   Shadow then looked at Amy up and down, he got closer to her and smelled her scent.

“HEY, STAY AWAY FROM HER!”- The other Shadow said as he grabbed Amy by the hand and putting himself in front of her in other to protect her from himself.

“You are not my Amy”-Shadow then look at his motorcycle to make sure she was fine but....

“YOU IDIOT! YOU BROKE ONE MIRROR!”- Shadow said as he bent over her.

“I-AM-GOING-TO-KILL-”

“SHADOW!.....and friends?”

   Shadow turned around to see his Amy coming closer to him and noticing both equal parts of them. They wanted to speak but before that, Amy interrupted.

“Are you names, Amy and Shadow?”

“Yes”- They both quickly responded a bit surprised at their simultaneously.

“Ok, before we start...Shadow will be Black and Amy will be Pink...and we will just keep our names... you know just so there’s no confusion”- Amy smiled, and they both just agreed, anyways they were used to calling each other ‘pinkie’ and blackie’, so this should be fine for them.

“Get out of our world before I destroy you for destroying my bike!”- Shadow threated Black.

“Shadow, it was just the mirror!”- Amy said to him, trying to calm him down.

“But you gave me this bike Amy, I wanted for her to stay the same way as you gave it to me...now I have to make changes”- Shadow pouted at her.

“Let's repair it together shall we?”

“Fine”

“Wait... are you guys...dating?”- Pink asked both of them as they watched them interact.

“Yes”

“What?!...Wow, we are actually in a parallel universe, aren’t we blackie?”- Pink teased him, laughing a little.

“Anyways...what are you both doing here?”- Shadow asked them.

“I need to know...about my past... I have no clue about it, and I thought maybe you could tell me something about this blonde girl that I keep seeing in my nightmares”- Black asked and Amy instantly looked at Shadow.

“Amy, could you take Pink to another place? I want to talk to Black for a second”

“Sure things Shads...come with me pink! Let’s talk about our boyfriends”- Amy said giggling. She also wanted to have some alone time for them and male all kinds of questions to her. As soon as Amy and Pink came out of Shadow’s sight, he signed and looked at the horizon in front of him.

“The blonde girl that you see in your dreams...her name is Maria... and she was murder by humans”

“Wh-att?”- Black was astonished, how can humans be so despicable?

“She was my only friend...you see, I was created by scientist in order to become the Ultimate Form, with my powers, I will bring world peace and create a better world overall, but world authorities were afraid of my powers, and they came here to kill me...but my friend Maria gave up her own life in order to save me...This is what happened to me, but that doesn’t mean that it happened to you”- Shadow wanted to conclude his story as quick as possible, even though he was over his past, it still hurt remembering Maria being killed in front of him.

“Why? Why didn’t you go after them? You should have taken revenge!”- Black almost yelled at him and Shadow looked at him.

“I was going to...I was going to annihilate the whole human race once and for all...but”

“But?”

“Someone reminded me Maria’s wish...her wish was to protect and save everyone from danger, that’s why I was created...after that, I wanted to forget everything forgets my past and star brand new”

“Isn’t that good?”- Black asked again.

“It's not bad that you want to move on from the pain...but it is wrong to forget people that have loved you and care for you”

“Who is that person who made you remember? Maybe I can find that person in my universe and that would-”

“You already know that person”- Shadow said interrupting him.

“...Amy?...Um, Pink?”

“Yes, and don’t act like you don’t like her, I see the way you protected her...the way you look at her...Its just like I do with my Amy”

“I won’t deny that...Amy, um I mean Pink...she was the main reason I joined Sonic and his gang...there’s something about her...that I really like...even though we fight most of the time...but I guess is just me trying to hide my attraction to her”

“And it took you to travel to another dimension to find that out? I don’t blame you, I realized I loved Amy after Sonic took me to a club, made me drink and after passing out,  he tricked me into believing I slept for 10 years”- Shadow added a bit of the spice and didn’t want to look ‘un-cooler’ in front of him.

“How would, I know she feels the same way as me?”- Black asked a bit shy about the topic.

“She traveled to another dimension, put her safety aside just for you...I think she likes you...but she doesn’t know it yet”

“Look...I don’t know if after what I told you, you still want and look for an answer to your past but one thing I am sure of...If Amy is with me in my present and my future...I can let go of my past and live again...I believe you should stay with her”

. . .

“So, how are things with Black?”- Amy asked Pink teasingly.

“Well...we are not dating”- Pink said blushing,

“Yet”

“What?”

“Shadow was quick to find out his feelings for me but...I took longer to realize that...Maybe you as well haven’t figure out your feelings towards him?”- Amy said they were already going back to Shadow and Black as they made their walk longer than expected and Amy didn’t want Pink to leave with giving her some answers with her current relationship with Black/Her Shadow.

“Well, ever since he joined ‘Team Sonic’ in my universe, we fought all the time... it wasn’t until a few hours ago, that I realize that it was my fault for not trusting him...is just that everytime I am with him, I don’t know.. I feel..weird and different”-Pink was quick to answer, what better advice she could get than from herself?

“That’s what I felt when I was around Shadow...It didn’t take long after that to realize that I was actually in love with him”- Amy teased him as she was telling her the truth.

“But...How do I know he feels the same for me?”- Pink asked a bit worried.

“He lets you come to another dimension with him in order to discover together about his past...I think he does like you, we may not have the same Shadow, but I don’t think any Shadow from any dimension would trust anyone that much to open up about his past.”

. . .

“Shadow! We are back!”    Shadow and Black turned around to see Amy and Pink come together to the place they previously were.

“Just in time!”- Shadow said as he looked at Amy.

“Did you get the answer that you were looking for?”- Pink asked as she got closer to Black.

“Yeah, my answers were right here...all of this time”-Black looked straight into Pink’s eyes and she blushed knowing that her Shadow didn’t mean this place, but her.

“Well, sorry to interrupt but Amy and I have a motorcycle to repair”- Shadow said a bit annoyingly.

“Aww Shadow, remember we were like that when we first dated?”- Amy said as she intertwined her arm with his.

“No, when we first dated a blonde hedgehog was screaming at me and you instantly called me your boyfriend”

“It-it was to protect you!”

“Yeah, can you send us back already, with your um...Chaos Control, or something like that you were saying?”- Black said as he grabbed Pink’s hand.

“Alright...Chaos Control!”- Shadow pointed his hand towards the couple and a Chaos Energy surrounded them...and quickly they disappeared back into their dimension.

“Do you think they will be fine?”- Amy asked Shadow “I think they have a whole adventure ahead of them”- Shadow answer.

“Just like we do, don’t we?”

“Yes...but first I need to fix my bike!”

   Amy giggled if she was with Shadow, she knew her adventures will never end, and she liked it that way.

. . .

A/N: Sooo I combined two days prompts due that I was already two days late for ShadAmy Week, so this ain't my best but I hope you still enjoy it! Ah, I just came up with good ShadAmyBoom! Story but I don’t think I will make it any time soon haha. See ya guys later!

~hani

[sanctferum]

Dangan Ronpa V3 Chapter 4: Class Trial, Part 2

OK, so we figured out Miu’s trap, but not who killed her. It could be anyone, except Kokichi, because Kokichi would’ve been paralyzed if he came into contact with Miu. Depending on what the glitch that happened was, I wonder if the blackened is unaware of being the blackened? In which case, it could even be Shuichi, though it’d be dumb for the game to kill off the player character again.

Monokuma & Kubs Theater. Monokuma is unmotivated, and talks about bear stuff, like whether bears get periods, and how long they hibernate for. Anyways, back to the trial.

The soap opera amongst the two remaining Kubs continues. Monotaro struggles to remember the important person he’s forgotten (Miu), and Monophanie reveals she’s pregnant with his child. Incest aside, a robot can’t get pregnant…right?

Monotaro is shocked to find out he’ll be a father. Himiko once again adjusts the death flag rate upwards.

Can we really find the killer by retracing Miu’s steps and analyzing her actions?

So, Miu modified the virtual world. She planned to go past the wall, murder Kokichi on the roof with the hammer, slip through the wall back to the chapel, and after everyone went back to the real world, find the bottle of poison on Kokichi’s chair. By having logged Kaito out earlier, he’d seem the obvious suspect, and people would think the murder happened in the real world. Miu would claim she was near the chapel the entire time, and still logged in to boot, and therefore couldn’t have killed Kokichi. And we’d have no choice but to believe her, since the bridge was out.

So, after dropping the bridge, and crossing the wall, she headed to the mansion’s rooftop. At this point, Kaito found himself logged out, and Tsumugi spotted Miu as she headed towards the mansion. Kokichi says the roof door was locked, so was Miu killed by the blackened right there, on the roof? If that’s the case, the blackened was the one who locked the door, since Miu wouldn’t have locked the door until Kokichi arrived.

Gonta thinks the killing game is the bad guy here. If things had been different, Miu might’ve been able to be our friend…Himiko has her doubts about that one, as do I. Oh, and Maki and Kokichi also wouldn’t want to be friends with her either.

How did Miu’s avatar get from the mansion roof to outside the chapel? In the Virtual World, everyone was the same strength. Even Gonta would’ve found it difficult to pick Miu up, go to the wall, and throw her to the other side. Besides, in order to do that, the blackened would have had to know the wall’s secret.

Perhaps the loud sound outside of the chapel has to do with it? Something hit the chapel wall. And the only thing there big enough to make that noise was Miu’s avatar, right? But why? Was there some way to send an object in that direction and only have it stop when it hit something?

Kaito suspects the same thing I do, that Kokichi already has all the answers. Kokichi brushes it off. He must know who the culprit is as well, right?

Kokichi is suggesting that Miu’s avatar was rolled off of the roof, and simply rolled all the way to the chapel wall via the momentum.

Hangman’s Gambit! Ah, there’s our final hidden Monokuma.

So, the blackened used the roof as a slide? But how would Miu’s body have slid all that way, even with the momentum?

Kaito calling Maki “Maki Roll” has inspired Kokichi to call Shuichi “Shumai”. Do I fuckin LOOK like a dumpling to you, ya asshat?

Still…it’s weird that Miu’s body slid all that way.

Wait…if the avatar wouldn’t slide…and the lattice came from the mansion roof…ah ha! That’s gotta be it!

So the lattice was used as a makeshift sled, and the impact against the chapel knocked her cell phone and hammer out from wherever she’d hidden them. Like Sonic the Hedgehog losing rings when he crashes into stuff, according to Monokuma. Monokuma goes on to regain his drive through his hatred of Sonic the Hedgehog. O…kay…?

Also, Monokuma’s gonna be a grandfather, according to the soap opera.

Kokichi thinks Shuichi MUST know who the culprit is by now…I got nothing.

OK, so the culprit was someone investigating the mansion. Not Kaito, probably not myself, and as much as I’d like it to be Kokichi, I don’t think so. Gonta or Tsumugi?

Someone lied when we were talking about the rooftop. Huh? Did someone lie? I didn’t notice. The only suspicious person was Kokichi.

OK, apparently it was Kokichi. Doesn’t mean he’s the culprit, though. But still. He obviously knows more than he’s claiming to.

But what specifically did he lie about?

Ah! He said he never went to the roof, and also said the door was locked. I noticed that earlier, but forgot about it until now. Mind Mine time! Now there’s blue tiles in it.

Kokichi said he never went to the roof, but he also gave testimony about the snow that was on the roof. Sure, you could guess that, but then there’s also something else on the roof that Kokichi mentioned. The brick handrail.

Kokichi’s stuttering and is very obviously lying to us. That concerns me. Is this an act? He’s never had an issue lying with a straight face before this…

Himiko did say the handrail was made of bricks near the beginning of the class trial, according to Kokichi. But I don’t ever remember her mentioning the roof. Still, as long as no one can prove Himiko didn’t say that, we gotta find another way to prove Kokichi was on the roof. Well, he says he was in the salon the whole time, but no one was there to say he was there. Except if no one was there, he can’t refute us lying ourselves about going to the salon and not seeing him.

Everyone believes me over Kokichi. No scrum debate necessary.

Wait, we fucked up. There’s one person who can attest to us never going to the salon. Tsumugi was in the dining hall. Tsumugi decides that she just must not have noticed Shuichi. All clear!

Kokichi goes into a monologue about lies. There’s only ever one truth. Which means that the number of lies there are, are infinite. Not all of them are malicious. Some of them are white lies. And if even those lies are bad…

..Then that means we’re terrible at being lied to? Is that something you can  be bad at?

Kokichi’s gonna talk, and something about that talking will hurt Shuichi. Because NO ONE tries to get away with lying to the master of lies. So, Kokichi will deny Shuichi’s talent, and just flat out reveal the entire truth here, right now.

Kokichi was suspicious of Miu from the start. He pressed Miu to give him the info on the Virtual World. That’s how he knew about it before the rest of us. And once she told him everything, he realized that that everything was lacking a few conspicuous details…which could only be because Miu planned to kill someone in the Virtual World. And that person was most likely himself. So he investigated the computer, where he found the text file with the description in it, and proof that someone could die of shock in the Virtual World. And so, Kokichi decided to use Miu’s setup to pull off a crime of his own. He helped lure us all into the Virtual World. And that wasn’t all.

Kokichi admits what we saw in that one cutscene in the game room. He worked together with Monokuma for this whole scheme. Monokuma corroborates his account. Kokichi had an idea on how to make the killing game more exciting, and Monokuma loved the idea so much that he placed a motive in the Killing Game Simulator. Monokuma didn’t help Kokichi with anything else. He had nothing to do with the murder. So in that sense, he can dodge responsibility and avoid breaking the regulation prohibiting him from directly interfering.

Maki is suspicious at how easily Kokichi is confessing. Same, Maki.

If Kokichi can’t win, he’ll get revenge by making the rest of the trial boringly easy. And with that, Kokichi reveals the blackened…Gonta. Gonta has no memory of killing Miu, though.

Kokichi claims that Gonta and he formed a duo to end the killing game. The Killing Game Busters. If two people can win the killing game, then they would be those two people. Gonta has no idea what Kokichi is talking about. And he’d never team up with Kokichi, not after the Insect Meet and Greet incident.

Is Kokichi making this all up? Kaito says it’s because Gonta doesn’t understand the Virtual World, which means Kokichi is trying to trick him into confessing to something he never did.

Kokichi is doubling down on his story, and Gonta seems to really not know anything. But if it isn’t Gonta, then the real culprit is…? Kokichi says there’s proof that he couldn’t have killed Miu. The adjustments to his avatar?

Yup. Kokichi couldn’t have killed her via strangulation. He’d be frozen in place. But, she definitely died via strangulation.

Gonta would never intentionally hurt anyone like that. I believe that. What I’m worried about is if this murder was even intentional on the part of the blackened.

Something is definitely off. Has been off since the beginning.

Kokichi tries to put Shuichi in a corner of having to either believe in Gonta and risk everyone dying, or discuss the topic while suspecting Gonta. Keebo agrees with us that we have to discuss this further, just in case. Is this leading to a scrum debate?

It is! And as long as it’s a possibility, we can’t back down. We promised Kaede not to shy away from the truth.

Kokichi tells Gonta to argue for himself, so that the truth can be found.

Kokichi is losing his temper. And he’s still insisting that this is just a game.

Kaito would rather die than stoop to Kokichi’s level. Kokichi is fine with that. Kaito should just go and die already if that’s how he feels! Maki threatens Kokichi to shut him up. Soon everyone’s tempers are flaring.

Kokichi is absolute losing it. He yells at Gonta for saying that he has no idea what’s going on. That’s all he’s been saying, this whole time.

But…Shuichi realizes something. Shouldn’t Gonta know at least some of what’s going on? Yet, Gonta has never mentioned anything about his time in the Virtual World. Then…oh no. Oh hell no.

Yeah. That’s it. The avatar user error. The reason Gonta is acting strange must be because…he has no memory of the Virtual World. Which means, if he did kill Miu, he’d have no memory of it. And that would have to be because of the VR cords being switched.

OK, so what’s gonna happen now? In all likelihood, Gonta’s gonna get executed, Kaito’s gonna stop being our friend, Kokichi is going to survive and instigate murders until he either dies or wins the game, and we’re gonna lose our confidence in our talent again. Jesus Christ this is so fucked up.

Oh. That’s what happened. Gonta’s a lefty and Himiko said “You put the red cord into the hand you use chopsticks with.” God fucking dammit, Himiko!

Gonta says he never went to the virtual world. But he was there, so that means that Kokichi was right. God DAMMIT!

AH. Maki asked a good question. Is the person who planned a murder a second blackened? It wasn’t so in the first Dangan Ronpa game, but…if that’s the case, that’d be why Kokichi asked about a potential tie.

Monokuma says that only the actual murderer becomes the blackened. Kokichi refuses to discuss how he got Gonta to agree to such a thing, and wants to go straight to voting. He also manipulates us into being forced to agree to work with him.

Maki, Himiko, and Keebo didn’t have access to the mansion. Kaito had been logged out by Miu before her death, at 6:17 AM. Miu died at 6:30 AM, so Kaito couldn’t have done it. Tsumugi and Shuichi saw each other, and therefore, we both have alibis. Those alibis cover the time that the loud sound was heard during, and the culprit was still on the roof then. And Kokichi wasn’t capable of strangling Miu without getting paralyzed in the process. And then there was one. Gonta. By process of elimination, he’s the only one who could have done it. Kokichi, you absolute MOTHERFUCKING bastard.

A truth without any lies. That’s what we found. That’s what Kokichi wanted to show us, to prove that lies are better than the truth.

Kaito refuses to let Kokichi win. And he’s still got proof that Gonta didn’t do it. After Tsumugi and Shuichi heard Keebo’s voice, they ran outside. And they almost immediately ran into Gonta. So how did Gonta get down from the roof? He couldn’t have jumped down, not with his avatar body. So how did he get down from the roof?

Shuichi knows. I’m not sure what it is, but Shuichi apparently does. And now he’s gotta explain to Kaito that even if the truth is cruel, they need to face it to survive. But Kaito won’t accept this. Gonta did it, and Shuichi believes that? Nonsense! It’s Armament Argument time!

Oh right. Gonta could’ve used a rope to climb down from the mansion. And the only thing in the Virtual World that rope could have been was the toilet paper, which we found in the direction Gonta appeared before us when we left the mansion. Gonta could’ve tied the toilet paper to the binoculars on the rooftop and used that to climb down. But he didn’t tie it. He simply looped it around the binoculars and tugged it down afterwards. And Gonta discarded the toilet paper after hearing Tsumugi and Shuichi’s footsteps, since he had no way to get it back to the bathroom.

Kokichi achieved his goal. He kept the murder game going, saved his own life, and destroyed Kaito’s outlook. Gonta still can’t believe he would have killed Miu, but Kokichi tells him to just confess to the crime he doesn’t remember already. Shuichi tells Kokichi to shut up. If anyone can get Gonta to accept what he apparently did, it’s not Kokichi. It falls to us.

Gonta doesn’t understand, but…if everyone is in agreement that he did it…he’s not smart, and they are, so they’re probably right and he’s wrong. Because Gonta trusts everyone. But…Gonta killed someone, then thought he hadn’t, and tried to convince everyone that he wasn’t the culprit. Which means Gonta did something that, regardless of what we think, he can never forgive himself for.

Kokichi says he didn’t trick Gonta at all. But before he’ll explain what happened, we got to vote, and no take-backs. So, we have no choice.

Monokuma says that the ending of the trial lacked the excitement it usually has. Well, after so many killing games, it was bound to happen eventually. I see you there. I see you there, reference to previous games in what’s supposed to be a different continuity. Well, there’s nothing we can do about that for now.

The vote is in. Kaito voted for Kokichi, and everyone else, Gonta included, voted for Gonta.

Monokuma tells us that we chose right, but everyone is too deep in despair to celebrate. Monotaro and Monophanie talk about their baby’s name. Monophanie says they should prepare six names. Sextuplets?

Kokichi told Monokuma that the trial would liven things up. But now everyone’s wearing their gloomy gus faces…well, Kokichi says, that was like everything else he’s said. A lie.

If Kokichi told us about the outside world, about the motive, we wouldn’t believe him. So Gonta will explain instead. And if Gonta can’t remember…then the only way for Gonta to explain is to go back to the Virtual World, where his avatar should still remember. What a pain.

Monokuma downloads Gonta’s memories from the Virtual World into a laptop, and creates a virtual Gonta from that and the records of his consciousness to tell us the secret.

Alter Ego Gonta?! Oh boy.

Gonta and Alter Gonta freak out at each other over being themselves.

Kokichi tells Alter Gonta that their plan failed, so it’s fine if Alter Gonta tells everyone. Alter Gonta laments not being able to save everyone. Was that what Kokichi led him to believe?

Gonta felt he had to do “it” for everyone’s sake. So he killed Miu. And as for why he thought that would save everyone…it leads back to the motive. The card key.

Beyond the door it opens is the outside world. And Kokichi planned to use the motive to save everyone after seeing the outside world for himself. Kokichi contacted Monokuma, told him he’d liven up the killing game if he was allowed to use the outside world as a motive again. The motive key card gave the user the right to view the outside world, but Kokichi didn’t use that motive to kill. So he Kokichi then suggested to Monokuma that if someone else was able to see the outside world, it’d provide the motive to kill again. Monokuma put the secret of the outside world in the Virtual World…a flashback light filled with memories of that outside world. Which means the secret of the outside world is connected to our forgotten memories.

Monokuma didn’t even hide the light! He said he put a motive in the Virtual World, but didn’t say he HID that motive.

And that’s why Kokichi lured Gonta away from the group to supposedly be his bodyguard. Koikichi tricked Gonta into using the flashback light on himself, but the truth, whatever it is, just confused him all the more. And Kokichi told him that the only way to save everyone was to kill them, and end their misery. Mercy killing them all, the game would no longer be playable.

Alter Gonta tells real Gonta that he wasn’t tricked. Now that he knows what he knows, Alter Gonta thinks it would be better and easier if everyone was dead. Because this Academy is hell. But outside the Academy is also hell. If that’s the case, there’s no reason to live. Everyone died for nothing.

Kokichi suggests that maybe they shouldn’t have voted for Gonta. Because if he alone had survived…he’d have sacrificed himself for everyone else to live in this hell while we got to die, to slumber eternally.

Alter Gonta won’t tell us what he saw. Because if he did…we’d all kill ourselves and each other. We’d lose all hope, just like he did. We’d have no choice but to despair.

Kokichi is the only one besides Alter Gonta that knows the truth. The horrible, awful truth.

We see a flashback to the murder, and learn that while he was on the roof, Gonta saw Miu walk through the wall. He told Kokichi, and Kokichi came up with everything from there.

All of us could have been saved. But…we reached for the truth and escaped the trap, and our own salvation in the process. Kokichi thinks it was wrong to fight for the truth, now that he knows what it is. And he should’ve killed Miu, because he’s the Ultimate Supreme Leader. The role of villain should have been his. He would’ve gladly killed Miu, but he figured out that she had some way of fighting back against him in the Virtual World.

Kokichi wanted to kill us all? But then, why did he guide us to the truth? Is this another lie?

Punishment Time. I don’t suppose Monokuma can just punish Alter Gonta? No, probably not, that wouldn’t cause enough despair.

Kokichi has a request before the execution. Kill him along with Gonta.

Gonta and Alter Gonta are fine with dying, as long as everyone forgives each other and stays friends. Kokichi has no choice but to accept that he’ll have to live with the truth.

Monophanie is about to give birth? Now?

Kokichi starts to lose it, screaming for Gonta not to go. But Gonta isn’t scared. He’s just upset that he couldn’t protect everyone till the end.

Execution: Wild West Insecticide

Gonta is tied up to a post. Alter Gonta’s laptop is tied to his chest. As Monotaro tries to help Monophanie through her pregnancy, their father shows up. The sheriff.

Sheriff Monokuma fires a gun at Gonta. It releases a mechanical bee. He fires with wild abandon, createing a swarm that buzzes forwards, leaving Gonta covered in welts and stings. Monophanie’s stomach bursts open, killing her. From inside, comes the alien from Alien, I mean, another robot bug. It’s a robotic praying mantis, and a giant one at that. It rears its head and screeches, cuts Monotaro in half, dives forward, and impales its claw right through both the laptop and the real Gonta. The sun sets on Monokuma’s town.

Well, I didn’t expect both of the remaining Monokubs to die, but OK. Guess that’s where the soap opera was leading…

Kubs remaining: 0. Even Monokuma didn’t expect that, or so he says. He’s lying, of course.

Monokuma killed off the two remaining Kubs cause they’d gotten a little too close to each other, to the point where they didn’t care about Monokuma himself anymore. He laughs about it and leaves.

No one can accept what happened. Not without at least understanding what drove Gonta to do what he did.

Kokichi simply laughs at them. All that stuff about saving us, wanting to die, not wanting Gonta to die? Lies, all lies! Kokichi didn’t tell us what the truth was so that it wouldn’t get in the way of the game.

Kokichi says he made Gonta kill Miu because he thought it’d liven up the game, stop it from being boring. If he’s been planning to save us all, he wouldn’t have guided us to the truth. So I WAS right about that.

Oh, goody, Kokichi’s gone FULL supervillain on us. Living up to his title, I guess…

It’s clear to all who and what Kokichi Oma is. Malice. Almost the living incarnation of malice.

The only reason he does what he does is the sheer thrill that comes from spreading misery and sorrow. He’s a sadist to the core.

And then he taunts us about all this and how Miu and Gonta died for nothing. Maki looks like she’s about to lose her patience and possibly kill him. Kaito…

Kaito runs up to Kokichi and punches the living daylights out of him. Good job, man.

When the dust clears…Kaito is on the ground and Kokichi is still standing. He dodged the punch and delivered one of his own, and he didn’t hold back.

Kokichi mentions that Kaito seems awfully slower than usual. Fuck. He knows whatever the truth of Kaito’s condition is. He knows all the truths of this place, actually, but still.

Anyways, Maki and Shuichi are freaking out. Kaito starts to get up for another attempt. Maki calls Kokichi out for claiming to be bad at fighting. Well, do you expect an expert liar like him to tell the truth about that?

Kokichi continues to taunt Kaito, but everyone’s 100% done with him by now. We all go help Kaito up instead. Shuichi points out that when something happens to Kaito, everyone runs to help him. But when something happens to Kokichi, no one will come for him, because everyone here hates his guts. GET FUCKED ASSHOLE.

Kokichi stands by himself, and he always will be. But Kokichi doesn’t give a shit about that! Friends don’t make killing games more entertaining! That’s why-

…Well, if we insist on doing that…the game will become boring. So, he no longer cares. But that’s fine with him, because he doesn’t need anyone else here. He, and he alone, will win the game. And then he boards the elevator and leaves.

Kaito is having trouble getting up. And when he does, he falls back down, coughing up copious amounts of blood. And he’s still claiming it’s just a cold. And he won’t let us help him back to his room. Not after what he feels we’ve done.

Maki goes after him, without looking any of us directly in the eye.

And Shuichi is left with the sense that everything he’s done was for nothing. By trying so hard to survive, what have they accomplished? What they’ve accomplished is to further Monokuma’s plans, and nothing else. In the end, they’re no better than Kokichi.

And Kokichi is prowling the grounds, still plotting. It’s almost time for him to end the game and claim victory. And he bends down to scrawl on the ground. On the piece of plaster with the “horse a” message.

The full message spells out, “This world is mine – Kokichi Oma”.

Well, shit.

And our present is the Empty Insect Cage.

And that’s that. End of chapter 4. Fucking hell, man. Fucking. Hell.

I was wrong. I was so so wrong. And not just about who would survive, a list of which only Maki is still alive out of. I was wrong about Kiyo. I said Kiyo would be the Nagito Komaeda of this game, but I was wrong. As a serial killer, he’s more like the Genocide Jill or Sparkling Justice of this game.

No, the Nagito of this game is unmistakably Kokichi Oma.

(Side note: I’m not sure why the secret of the outside world didn’t send him into despair like it did with Gonta. Maybe it’s cause he’s a psychopath to begin with?)

I. I don’t have the energy to keep going right this second. Goodbye for now I will try again later.

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 10: INFINITE

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be sharpening our blades and resisting the pain as we discuss what it takes to be the right-hand henchman of Sonic Forces: Infinite.

The Gist: Dr. Eggman was minding his evildoing business when one day, from thin air emerged a particularly strange jewel that seemed to be drawn to him. Realising this was no mere Chaos Emerald, due to both its peculiar shape and its bizarre reality-distorting effects, Eggman immediately contemplated how he could effectively utilise this new gemstone for his purposes.

Suddenly, jackals!

“Go forth, Red Shirts!”

Eggman's base was under attack by the imaginatively titled Jackal Squad, a group of thieving mercenaries who figured they could profit from the theft of the doctor's equipment. Unfortunately for them, Eggman had Main Character Immunity, so their efforts to kill him send him to the Shadow Realm fell flat. Despite nearly getting killed by them, Eggman knew an opportunity when he saw one, and he offered the role of apprenticeship to the squad's heterochromia-inflicted leader. His fellow jackals insisted not to take up the offer, because even they knew the risks, but the leader signed up immediately, because he's not all right in the head if you know what I'm saying.

In a cruel twist of fate, Eggman's first request for his new stooges was for them to take care of Shadow the Hedgehog. That Shadow the Hedgehog. Ultimate Lifeform Shadow the Hedgehog. Fast, immortal, capable of stopping time, drops his bracelets to grow even stronger Shadow the Hedgehog. They had to defeat that Shadow the Hedgehog.

They did not succeed.

BOOOONESAAAAAW’S READYYYYYYYY

After metaphorically and literally murdering the rest of the already forgotten squad, Shadow gave some parting words to their defeated leader, and those parting words were responsible for what happened next, and everything after. As someone who prided himself on being the ultimate mercenary, Mr. Jackal was bloody well peeved off about coming to terms with his physical shortcomings, and thus decided to give himself an upgrade in the form of sticking a gem on his chest, putting on a mask worthy of a heavy metal cover, and rechristening himself as... Infinite. Infinite power. Infinite possibilities. Infinite memes.

The upgrade paid off. With the aid of the gem, known to us as the Phantom Ruby, Eggman's latest minion was able to distort the environment, summon past foes, and do what no other villain not retconned out of existence had ever managed to achieve: defeat Sonic the Hedgehog.

Eggman was delighted. The past foes were delighted too, as evidenced by how they stood there to take it all in.

This is a very sentimental moment for them.

With Sonic out of the way, Eggman was able to take over 99% of the planet, because Sonic's friends were tragically all on holiday at the same time. During the subsequent six months of suffering and strife, Infinite relished in the doctor's conquest, but not as much as he relished in killing and terrorizing innocents. One incident in particular involved him leaving behind a scared youngster for the sake of letting them know fear. This would turn out to be a big mistake on his part, when - with the ever reliable power of friendship - said youngster would go on to oppose him as part of the Resistance. (This franchise isn't known for creative group names.)

“L’Oreal: Because I’m not weak.”

The formerly incapacitated Sonic also managed to eventually break free from his captivity, and proceeded to do what he does best alongside his new friend. Infinite was having none of this, and so he made absolutely certain to... leave him alive. Despite Eggman's insistence that a freed Sonic could cause as much trouble as a freed Sonic could in every other situation since 1991, Infinite remained confident that he couldn't be beaten. Three guesses for how that turned out. The first two don't count.

He was serious about crushing the Resistance though, and together with Eggman, not only did they summon a whole army of clones, they also summoned an artificial sun that, upon reaching the ground, would ensure the Resistance would meet a terrible fate. Good always triumphs however, and the clones were fought, the sun was vanquished, and Infinite himself was defeated once and for all.

It was at this point that Eggman decided to reveal that Infinite was a sham, a distraction, a red herring. For all his power, Infinite was little more than a glorified mook the whole time. Infinite was never the doctor's endgame. He was. Infinite didn't even have true mastery over the Phantom Ruby... but he did.

Death Chad Robot.

In just a few minutes, Eggman tapped into the power of the Ruby more than Infinite ever did, and overclocked it to turn his Doc Ock-looking mech into a beast. But through thick and thin (and a second Nega-Wisp Armor), Sonic and his ambiguously named friend teamed up to take the madman down, because we're Sonic Heroes.

The world was saved from further tyranny, and Eggman went on to either lose his memory or shrug it off to take part in racing spinoffs depending on the continuity. But Infinite - or rather, the jackal who called himself Infinite - remains absent. He could be alive. He could be dead. He could finally get a haircut. His fate is a mystery that we may never know the answer to. Maybe he's spending his retirement climbing the tallest of mountains.

The Design: Careful you don't cut yourself with all this edge.

You could have gotten yourself an eyepatch for half the price.

Demonic eyes, dark colours, anime hair... he's a villain alright. Infinite's design is unashamed of itself. It knows it's ridiculous, and it goes all out with it, which - let's be frank - matches the character in general pretty reasonably. Funnily enough, I don't have much else to say about it. It's not my favourite character design in the world, but I can credit them for pioneering loudspeaker ears. And at least he's not a hedgehog. Or an echidna.

If you listen carefully, you can hear Shadow sighing in relief under the knowledge that he's no longer the edgiest guy in the room.

The Personality: What's an easy way to make a villain a villain? By making them pointlessly sadistic, of course.

"You may call this the Sonic Chronicles soundtrack... in the brief moments that remain to your eardrums."

And I don't speak lightly when I say pointless. Infinite's penchant for sadism is actually treated as a character flaw, as it contributes heavily to his ultimate downfall. He wastes time by drawing out his kills, and his decision to leave his greatest foes alive because they're supposedly "not worth killing" bites him in the ass on more than one occasion. Even Eggman calls him out on his shitty decisions.

"Don't get cocky with me, son. This ain't the Adventure Era anymore.”

And this ties in with how he is in general. Infinite, for all his delusions of grandeur and nihilistic waxing, is a bit of a fuck up. Him and his squad combined couldn't even take on Eggman on his own (albeit with a Phantom Ruby in his possession), and when the mask comes on, it becomes clear that he only defeated Sonic through the element of unfamiliarity. Once Sonic starts to know about him and fights him for real, Infinite doesn't rely on the Phantom Ruby nearly as well as he could. He has a jewel that can do all sorts of distortions, and all he can think to do with it is use basic lasers and blasts for the most part. He's a thug at the end of the day. A powerful thug, but a thug all the same.

Despite this, though it's only hinted here and there, it seems that he has an Inferiority Superiority Complex. His passionate response to Shadow calling him pathetic (ironically, he never actually said he was weak) goes without saying, but then there's his dramatic speeches about having no hope, and how you can't count on anyone, and blah blah blah eat a Snickers already.

The Execution: Much like Erazor Djinn, you may have gathered that this character has a lot in common with everyone's favourite Ice Age antique, Mephiles the Dark. Like Erazor, Infinite is a better (albeit flawed) take on Mephiles' schtick, but whereas Erazor better emulates the success that Mephiles tried to go for, Infinite better represents the failure that Mephiles actually is... right down to showing how Silver would react if he had actual brain cells.

Above: Character development.

Hell, they both share the fate of getting swatted by Omega.

Not bitter at all.

Anyway, to explain this requires some elaboration. I'm aware that a lot of what I've said about Infinite sounds negative, and that's not entirely untrue, since I'll be the first to admit that he could have been handled a little better, and fleshed out a bit more, especially with all the pre-release hype and attention he was given. At the same time however, he's still leagues above the likes of Mephiles, for one simple reason that we discussed previously: his incompetence is intentional.

Maybe not fully - the pre-Infinite breakdown probably wasn't meant to be as comedic as it ended up being - but you can't tell me his setbacks weren't there on purpose. Eggman lost the war because Infinite left his enemies alive and free. Eggman lost the war because Infinite clumsily left a Phantom Ruby replica behind. Eggman lost the war because Infinite kept messing around when he had better things to do, didn't know what to do other than blindly attack when the chips were down, and got disposed of with little fanfare by the doctor after having failed him enough times. Compare all this to Eggman himself in the same game, who despite being known for his childishness and occasional shortsightedness, had a lot of genuine foresight to share around, and went from backup plan to backup plan like it was nothing.

In other words, Infinite could be seen as a well-needed deconstruction of villains like Mephiles, and why they're not as great as they look at first glance. And in that respect, he's kind of a genius concept.

“Ugh, MORE shitty friends...”

Infinite is a very divisive character, and I can see why. Alongside his far from perfect execution, many fans were expecting and hoping for a straight example of late 00's Sonic villains, in part because that's what the marketing and his infamous theme song set him up as and partly because '06 is now considered better than everything afterwards because Baldy McNosehair is literally oppressing all Sonic fans across the world. If you're like me on the other hand, and don't have the slightest unironic interest in those kind of villains, you can probably respect Infinite a little more for addressing the elephant in the room. And even though he is indeed flawed, I think most of that has to do with the wasted potential of the plot itself rather than anything inherently to do with Infinite's own character.

He's no Eggman, Erazor, Metal Sonic, or Hard-Boiled Heavies. But he's above Mephiles, Black Doom, Eggman Nega, and so many others who blend together after a while. Still, maybe someone should assist Shadow the next time he decides to insult somebody.

Crusher Gives Infinite a: Thumbs Sideways!

[kffandom]

I think it's hard for me to get into mercymaker as a ship because 1) it's hard to gauge widowmaker's canon level of free will when she's been canonically brainwashed and 2) if there was going to be a doctor/patient relationship in overwatch that would make me cringe, it would be if mercy was treating widowmaker 

 Because like. Widowmaker was brainwashed and stuff by talon, and that’s probs a lot of Bad Doctors and Scientists--which, most of the time, mercy kinda is 

( “i save lives,” mercy argues when it’s brought up. “i push the boundaries to help people, to save them, to make them better--what is wrong with that, exactly?” but she doesn’t answer the original question, doesn’t say what she actually /did/ in the field that day) 

but anyway she’s probably semi-conditioned to listen to people like those who brainwashed her so. idk it just gives me weird feelings 

so for me to feel Okay about this ship, there needs to be at least one of the following takes: 

1) mercy isn’t an experimenter/researcher--she’s primarily a medic

2) widowmaker has more autonomy than not--she’s been brainwashed, yeah, but more in the way of skewing her ethics and altering her memories moreso than making her a winter-soldier-esque tool 

3) mercy is evil and awful and widowmaker has little free will and the whole point of the situation is that it’s gross and bad and is not meant to be a love story 

ya feel me? 

 but god wouldn’t they be so salty together--like let’s go with option 2, where widowmaker finds out her memories aren’t accurate and she hasn’t always been this way and she’s highkey pissed, and great, NOW they’re teaming up with the goody-two shoes and there’s that annoying Sonic the Hedgehog BRAT who keeps popping up EVERYWHERE 

and she ends up hiding out in the infirmary, because there’s only one place where stubborn, annoying, military shits won’t go 

mercy, meanwhile, is in there, acting out, “ 2 Hours of Sleep Since Last Saturday, the Show” and trying not to murder Winston as she cleans out the cut on his hand 

”You need to be more careful,” she chides him halfheartedly. It’s not really his fault that all of his equipment is self-made, since his hands are much too large for normal lab equipment, but he could be more cautious in making his own. then maybe he wouldn’t be in here, with glass shards scattered across his skin, making her squint with her reading glasses and praying she’s actually seeing three shards and she’s not about to pass out into his lap 

from behind her, a blue hand reaches out and plucks a bit out that mercy had been struggling to grasp with tweezers. it’s really, really hard not to jump and shriek, but mercy manages, somehow 

“you would think your eyes were closed, ange.” widowmaker says lowly. 

“it’s hardly my fault you have 20/10 vision,” she retorts. “not all of us have been enhanced as you have been.” 

“most of your team has been enhanced in one way or another. it should be a day’s work for you to improve all of their eyesight.” 

mercy grumbles under her breath but puts her tweezers down and pulls her gloves off. “If you’re going to hide in here from your girlfriend, you’ll keep busy. wash up and put some gloves on, then tweeze all of the glass out of winston’s hand.” 

“angela, i’m sure i can get it myself--” winston says quickly. “I wouldn’t want to inconvenience amelie.” 

“No no, sit, ape-man,” widowmaker rolls gloves on easily and grabs his hand, jerking it into her lap. “it shall only be a moment. i’ve always wanted to play nurse,” she purrs. 

winston gulps and mercy rolls her eyes. 

it happens more than a few times--widowmaker sneaks in and is dragged over to help mercy with random tasks. easy ones, but ones that would bore mercy to tears. or ones where widowmaker’s eyesight would help 

“read that passage to me,” she shoves a book into widowmaker’s hands as she pulls up different documents on her tablet. 

“can you see what that says?” she asks, squinting at the picture that has been sent over to her. “and would you say her leg is more green than blue?” 

“grab the book that says neurons--i think it’s blue, it’s higher up and i can’t see the spines” 

widowmaker bitches and complains when she thinks it’s something stupid, but most of the time she does it with a small tease, a short barb-- 

“your eyesight is going, old lady. haven’t you thought about getting glasses? maybe fewer people would mistake you for a teenager if you tried the ‘distinguished’ look.” 

mercy flushes red and widowmaker is startled into a laugh. “are you really that vain?” 

“Shut up. i don’t need glasses.” 

“you are,” she breathes in delight. “i knew you were a conceited bitch, but this? pride will be your downfall, ange.” 

“shut. up.” 

“oh, but you’d look so delectable in glasses. with that stick up your derrière, you could have the librarian pornstar look. sombra assures me that is ‘in’ now--” 

mercy sets off the security system and widowmaker’s booted out of the infirmary, wheezing and laughing. 

at least until tracer pops in, stands over her, and says, “you look WAY more human when you laugh, mate. angela’s been good for you.” 

widowmaker hisses, “you’re an irritant that i have no time for and your accusations are ridiculous.” 

lena laughs and laughs and widowmaker tries to kill her for the fiftieth time. 

when widowmaker goes back to the infirmary, days later, mercy has a pair of thick-rimmed glasses on, that have slid down to the bottom of her nose. when she pokes her head up and out of a stack of textbooks to look at widowmaker, she pushes them up the bridge of her nose absently 

“oh,” she scowls. “it’s you. get over here, i need your opinion on if this is fuschia or magenta.” 

“Your fashion sense must hideous if you need my help with that,” widowmaker says. 

but she walks over anyway. there’s something flattering (a little high-inducing, almost like a power-trip) knowing that an arrogant child like mercy would take her advice. and the glasses look good on her

it’s easy to lean in close while she peers at the photos and listen, feel, ever so carefully. there’s a hitch in her breath, and she shifts in her seat, and if widowmaker isn’t mistaken, there’s a small, tiny flush right across the apples of her cheeks 

(she might have to kill tracer for bringing this possibility to her attention. if anyone asks, widowmaker was planning this from the beginning.)