#And SOMEONE SAID I'M TOTALLY BISMUTH

[edwardallenpoe]

I'm too powerful now. I've leveled up my autistic swag too far. I got an Ocarina for my birthday. With the triforce on it. It's fucking curtains for you guys.

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated wall world

you wanna talk about verticality?

i had no idea what to expect when I got this game. I vaguely recognised the title from around the time it came out (maybe someone streamed it?) but I had no idea what the gameplay loop would be. well it turns out it's a mining and defense game. you spawn in the middle of a wall, and you climb or descend into different biomes where you can bore into marked spots and venture for ore

the first friction is the... xyzzy? whatever the alien things are called. there are two timers denoting when your spiderbot starts getting attacked: a meter for a swarm of basic enemies and a timer for a boss fight. this is really interesting! the first thing it reminds me of is terraria, but sideways. you've gotta balance going mining and defending yourself, only instead of watching for both pretty simultaneously, it's entirely segmented. you only mine on foot, and you only defend in the spider. I've played roguelikes with time management elements, but they've all been rewards for speedrunning. this is the only one where it's enforced, and it's actually really fun! it's kinda like... y'know how some people bounce off of stardew valley because they get intimidated by the daily time limit? it's like that was weaponized as a central mechanic, and I'm totally here for it. "do I have the time to run back for those extra materials, or will I not be able to make it back when the attack begins?" it never stops being an engaging question.

sometimes those exposed mining spots don't have proper caves, just little alcoves with what may or may not be lore. that brings me to the first real issue with the game, and it's communication. a lot of roguelikes struggle communicating their rules to new players, and this is no exception. I understand experimentation is an expectation, and that death is entirely reasonable in this genre, but it still feels bad as a player when things are simply unclear. for example: it's pretty easy to Intuit that each biome has a unique material in addition to... y'know, I don't even know what it's called. it's like, kinda pearl shaped? it's the material you find in every mine. anyway, the game isn't really clear on how that works, mostly because the random generation plays pretty fast and loose. like, the centre biome sometimes makes pearls and.. quartz? but also pearls and emeralds sometimes, even though theres a jungle biome that also kinda does the same thing with different rarities, and there's also bleed in from another biome that has... bismuth, and... dice? I think all I'm asking for is a glossary here.

speaking of mining, this is a roguelike with a heavy emphasis on meta progression. you earn... currency? sparks, dust, microplastics even. nothing in this game has a name. whatever, you earn metaprogress points every time you break a block, and you spend those upgrading your mech. but after only a few hours, which is pretty small for a roguelike, I had more money than I could spend. all my base gear was fully upped, and whenever unlocked a blueprint I could buy it without even thinking. 

that's not the only pacing issue. good god, the fucking crypto keys. disclaimer that this game came out before cryptocurrency ruined that prefix. anyway, if you make it alllll the way to the end of a cavern, there's a chance there will be a chamber. this chamber usually has a chance of having either a blueprint (metaprogression) or a chip (free upgrade for that run), unless you by chance happen to get a weapon spawn instead. but in all this, there is a very small chance that you get a cryptokey instead. now do me a favour and reread that paragraph, but every time you read the word "chance", I want you to stare at the wall for an hour. I love myself some good random generation, but you need *five* to beat the game. it took me seven hours of gameplay to get two. I think Markiplier said it best: it feels awful to do everything right, but still be denied victory for reasons out of your control. like, in binding of Isaac, imagine if instead of needing to beat mom's heart a few times before it let you go to the womb, the heart just insta-killed you unless you picked up the missing poster in at least five runs. like I'm sorry but that's just not fun. I get that it's to stop the player from beating the game without spending enough time with it, but it's totally artificial. there's gotta be a better way

either way, i got all they keys and beat the game. the ending was... pretty underwhelming. theres no boss fight, you just... dont get instakilled this time. you find a little opening with grass and trees and stuff, but its not the top of the wall because you can see more above it. and then the credits roll. okay?

this game was fine enough. i got it in a fanatical bundle for what amounted to a few dollars, and i think it was worth that. its a good type of game to keep you busy, yknow? it was good for something to keep my hands moving while i listened to a video essay. its just not very substantial beyond that. but i think this is to the games detriment, because it all settles into being repetitive work and hoping you get lucky enough for it to end. its a very flawed game but its not unenjoyable per se, its just not... that good. lame ass fast food ass game

[solarsavoy]

Sunday Ship, Gakushuu x Akari

This ship is so rare, I don't even know what their official name is, and GakuAka doesn't sound cute to me, so Gakushuu x Akari it is. I was requested to analyze this rare pair by @tuulikannel, and I have to say, it's quite the challenge. Still, I'll do my best because I like it.

To start, I feel like Akari is mostly into boys and that Gakushuu prefers boys but could be with a girl given certain circumstances. With that said, I could definitely see Gakushuu being with her later in life and it working out for the long term. Both of these characters prefer a casual distance in their relationship and if Akari pursues acting (which I assume she does) these two would make for the "ideal couple".

Here you have Akari, beautiful, intelligent, graceful, out being the awesome actress that she is, and Gakushuu, brilliant, focused, hard working, and not afraid to go above and beyond.

Depending on how Gakushuu develops, I can totally see him using Akari's status to heighten his own while also treating her like a queen because it 1. looks good for both of them and 2. would mean the world to her since I imagine he goes over the top with things. He'd pay for an extravagant wedding, luxurious vacations, only the finest of jewelry, and I think Akari would love every second of it.

Here's the kicker though, I don't see a lot of passion in their relationship. They would care for each other a great deal, but I don't think either of them would ever know each other on a deep level. Both of them are the type that needs someone else to punch through their cold exterior to get to know them. I think they would both be okay holding each other at arm's length though, a comfortable distance if you will, and respect each other's space.

I don't think they'd have children either. In my mind, Gakushuu wouldn't want them for his own reasons and I feel Akari would just go along with it. Gakushuu's is because he wouldn't want to be his dad and the best way to skip that is to simply not be a dad. For Akari, I think it's because she's used to her family being small and the pain of losing her sister was so great that she would be okay if Gakushuu just said "no kids" and then she'd just accept that because it's not something she'd fight hard for.

I also think this relationship is dangerous, in a way, because I don't think they'd ever separate but they also don't do anything to make each other better as people. They are there for companionship, and because of the distance they are both happy to keep, it would never get deep enough to really develop that passion, that desire that every relationship deserves to have. And in a way, that's sort of sad.

Because I can see Gakushuu being asexual, I don't think it'd be too much of a problem for him to be away from her a lot, but Akari may just keep it in and never say anything because at the same time, she has the "perfect relationship", why ruin it?

To wrap this up, I wanted to end with something a little more positive. While they have their pros and cons of being together, a pro I'd really love to see played out are their conversations. I think they'd be wildly entertaining.

An example: Gakushuu: Yeah, I snuck out once. Akari: I broke your dad's trophy case/laptop on my first day at Kunugigaoka like a bad ass. Gakushuu, wide eyed: That was you???

Another example: Akari: I almost got my ultimate revenge on my worst enemy, but then I realized I liked him as a teacher, so… Gakushuu: I DID get revenge on my worst enemy. Akari, confused: Who was that? Gakushuu smirks. Akari puts it together: You're the one that put your dad in jail??? (Reference, bismuth's fanfic.)

So in the end, I feel like they'd make for a great platonic relationship, but I'm not convinced they'd stay that way because of their potential as the "perfect couple", and if they go into romance, I don't think they'll ever come out of it. That's just my opinion though and I'm always open to other headcanons of these two because honestly, there's almost nothing on this pair since it's so rare. So let me know if you feel differently about them.

And thanks for reading! Let me know if you'd like me to analyze another ship and I'll do it! Have a wonderful day, peoples.

[picturejasper20]

Steven and Identity

Since the beginning of the series Steven has always been a character who struggled with his identity, he believed that he had to be like his mother, Rose Quartz, and he would never measure up to her.

During the first seasons he didn´t know how to fell about Rose, he knew that everyone around him loved her and missed her, they thought she was perfect and very good person who believed that every life was precious and unique.

¨I don't know how to feel about you, but everyone else does. I wish I could have met you then this place would make me sad, and I could cry healing tears... like you.¨

An Indirect Kiss is a good episode that explores how much Steven wanted to be like Rose. He thought that if he didn´t have gem powers the crystal gems  wouldn´t hang out with him.

¨Oh Steven, you don't have healing tears. You'll never have any real magic powers, and we don't want anything more to do with you.¨ (Imagined)

¨She didn't really say that¨

¨No, but that's what it felt like¨

¨Everyone expects me to be like my mom. What if I never get those powers?-But if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst or Garnet or Pearl, and I-I can't go on missions!¨

He defined himself by how ¨useful¨ he was to others, if he couldn´t save his friends he was a failure, if he couldn´t use his powers, he thought he didn´t deserved to a Crystal gem. A Good example of this is in Mindful Education, when he blamed himself for failing to save people even though many were situations he had no control of or he couldn´t have done anything else.

But even if it wasn´t totally his fault, he still feels like it was his, this is because Steven is someone who thinks that has  to carry the weight of world on his shoulders. He has to fix everyone, he´s supposed to be like Rose, who was a great leader loved by everyone.

What really breaks Steven reality is hearing the truth about how Rose shattered a gem, a not any gem but Pink Diamond. Suddenly all his image of Rose being this good perfect being was broken.

This not only made him feel more confused about Rose but about who he was supposed to be: If her mother wasn´t as good as everyone had lead him to believe him she was, should he still try to be like her? What if he did something that ended up with hurting someone like Rose did?

After going to the Zoo and seeing how the shattering of Pink Diamond had hurt many gems, Steven felt ready to confront Rose. He was tired of these secrets and contradictions, his confusion about what kind of person Rose was..

¨You know, sometimes I wonder if it's even you up there, smiling all day and night. I just want to know the real you. Not the you that everyone tells me about. I... just want to know the truth.¨

So Steven entered in Rose´s room and ask the room to let him talk to her.

The thing is that this Rose was created by Steven´s memories of her. What he had learned about her, what Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst had told him. This ¨Cloud¨ Rose represented how Steven saw her during the first seasons before his idealization of her was broken.

¨Yeah, well...for my whole life, I've been hearing stories about you. About how amazing you were. That you were so kind and loving. And every time I'd see the painting hanging of you in the temple, you inspired. And reminded of how much I had to live up to you.¨

But Steven knew this was not the ¨real¨ Rose, is how he had imagined her.

¨This is how I want you to be. But I don't know if this is who you really are¨

¨I've learned things about you. Things you wanted to keep secret. You locked Bismuth away inside of Lion, because she wanted to shatter Gems, and you never told Garnet or Pearl. But then you shattered Pink Diamond! Now all of Homeworld has it out for Earth, and the Crystal Gems, and me! You put us all in danger, and you just... disappeared!¨

He continued his rant by asking her if he only exiseds so she could escape from her mistakes and deal with the consequences. ¨Cloud¨ Rose reminded Steven of the tape the real Rose left for him.

¨Steven, you know that isn't true. In the tape I left you, I told you I how much I wanted to have you and let you exist. Do you think what I said to you in the tape was a lie?¨

¨No... I'm sure- I'm sure you meant it.¨

¨I get it. I know you didn't want me to deal with your problems. You're a part of me now. I have to deal with what you left behind.¨ 

Steven finally come in terms with how Rose was a well intentioned but very flawed being as the rest of the Crystal gems were. He knows that her mom didn't want for him to deal with all these gem issues. She just wanted him to be happy.

This was further explored in "Lion 4: Alternative ending" when Steven found the Nora tape and Greg explained to him what Rose wanted for Steven.

"Steven, she just wanted you to be you. When you have a kid, you have no idea who they're gonna be. Even Garnet couldn't predict it. That's what was so exciting to your mom, that life is full of so many possibilities, and you would get to explore them for yourself."

"You're going to be a human being. That's my favorite part. A human being. A human is an action. I wonder who, how you'll be, what you'll think, what you'll want. Oh, I'm so happy for everyone who's going to know you."

This what very important for Steven, he needed to know he didn't have any "magical destiny", he didn't need to be like his mom or anyone else, he just needed to be himself.

"So that's it. I'm just... supposed to be her kid."

The final crucial moment for him was when he fused with his gem half in "Change your mind". That was the universe telling him: "You are not Rose nor Pink, they are gone, and you.. you are Steven, you are your own person, you are the only one who can decide the person you want to be, the only one who choses you own destiny"

Steven was crying during the fusion not because of pain but for relief, it was the ultimate confimation he was not Rose and he got as far as he did by being himself.

¨I'm me! I've always been me...!¨  

Note: Gifs are from Steven universe wikia